All language subtitles for Max.Bishop.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-EVO-HI

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

[industrial noises outside]

[unintelligible talking]

[unintelligible talking]

[methodic guitar melody]

[methodic guitar fades out]

[cell phone vibrates]

MAN: The target is planning
to leave town tonight.

[hangs up]

[ominous, methodic bass]

- [empty click]
- [bass ends]

[frantic drum solo]

[drum solo stops]

[frantic drum solo]

[empty click]

[frustrated scream]

[cymbal crash, drum solo ends]

[railroad crossing]

[engine approaches]

[nervous sigh]

Tough potatoes.

Yeah.

Things could've went better.

In what way?

I wonder if maybe
we started you off too soon.

Weren't there to give you
the proper coaching.

Really, it's myself I blame. Not
you.

If you let me try again

I swear to you I will be so
good.

Oh I know you would, Max. I
know.

It's not my decision.

Please. I love this job so much.

You have other passions?

This is it.

You must have other interests?

I thought about
going into politics once, but...

this seemed more effective.

But this effectiveness,

it just isn't there,

at least not to the satisfaction
of our friends back East.

Can I talk to them?

[chuckles]

Come on, this is one slip.
I've been effective.

I took out Jimmy Cowhide.

Jimmy was a quadriplegic.

Frankly, these have been,
as our friends would put it...

...dumb moves.

And it's nothing against
you, Max, it's just business.

Business is cold.

See this as an opportunity.

Find something new to love.

[melancholy tremolo guitar]

[oppressive industrial noises]

[guitar fades out]

Thank you for choosing
TEA Employment Agency.

And how may I help you, today?

I need a job.

Awesome!

And have you used our services
before?

No.

Then may I please ask you to
sign this.

It's a release form relinquishing
our agency's responsibility

for any self inflicted mortal
wounds, or

any self inflicted wounds
for that matter. [chuckles]

It-It's a what?

Things can get a teeny bit
monotonous for the uninitiated.

Today's average process time is
six hours.

[repetitive acoustic]

Copy of your resume?

Second copy of your resume?

Second copy?

Next!

Copy of your resume?

Second copy of your resume?

Photo ID with letter and
corresponding mailing address.

Next!

Copy of your resume?

Second copy?

Photo ID-

Your last 1040?

Previous EIN?

What's EIN?

Next!

What's EIN?

What's EIN!?

[acoustic ends]

Head into the Sentencing
Chamber.

I'm done?

I-

[stutters]

Head into the Sentencing
Chamber!

Well, are you here for
employment?

Or, are you just part of the
wallpaper!?

Alright, then.

Given your experience in the
military

and brief tenure
as a law enforcement officer

and especially given
your numerous charges

of excessive force and
brutality,

it is our opinion that the field
of education is your calling.

In particular,

the area dedicated to molding the
minds of our prepubescent youth.

Currently, the only opening in
said field is custodial services.

You will report to
JP Melville Elementary School,

1800 Washington Street at 0700
hours

and meet with a Principal Warta

who will make
the necessary introductions.

It is our hope that this initiatory
job will acquaint you with the rhythms

and requirements
of the scholastic enterprise.

[a distant locker slams]

[telephone rings]

WOMAN: Principal Warta's office.

Thank you.

How are you finding us so far?

Nice place.

Clean.

You've not worked in education
before?

No, they told me it wasn't-

Quite alright. Quite alright.

Do you find you like children?

I've never really given 'em much
thought, to be honest.

Well...

Well, they say we are really
doing the Lord's work here.

And I can understand that.

I mean being here
each day for nine hours.

You...

...children...

Children are the future you
know.

And who could argue with that?
Who would? Right?

But they will hold that against
you.

They will.

They will use it.

I pray they don't crush you,
too.

Sir?

But that's only the half of it.

Parent teacher conferences?

- It's a tribulation we all-
- [telephone rings]

Uh-it's nothing.

Uhh, we're fine.

You'll be fine.

[telephone rings]

Umm.

So you have an office.

Uhh, ehh-we've had a bit of a

storage overflow, but, umm...

i-i-it's an office.

[telephone rings]

Do you have any questions
at this time, Mr. Bishop?

[telephone rings]

[telephone rings]

Yes?

[scared whisper]
But is this real?

There are some days
when I suspect all the light

in this world has gone dark.

Today may be one of those days.

I trust you can find your way
to your office?

Is everything okay?

Otto Percy's parents are here.

Eh-they want to dispute his
grade.

It was an A...

...minus.

Thank you, Mr. Bishop.

We're very happy to have you
here.

[children playing]

[ominous low tones]

[voicemail]
SAL: Max? Sal and Don, here.

I just want to say that I hope in
these few days since we last spoke

that you're dealing positively
with the extra time that I'm...

...that I'm sure you find
yourself with.

Please touch base with us
when you can.

We're only rooting for you to
succeed.

[flourescent buzzing]

MAN:
And then he has the audacity

to insist that the payments made to
my mother's estate are... invalid.

I mean I can't believe
I even know someone like that.

Furthermore, I-well...

probably shouldn't say this
but I often times find myself

wishing that he would...

end up in a ditch.

MS. PARTRIDGE:
Mr. Hubert...

MR. HUBERT: Ohh, I know, Ms.
Partridge, I'm sorry.

It's
just-...it's-...frustrating.

How much would you pay
for something like that?

Excuse me?

How much would you pay
for something like that?

See this fellow
removed from the equation?

Half my mother's estate.

How much is that?

Oh-[laughs]

I- I don't know-I couldn't-
well-

I don't-I mean,
I couldn't put a dollar-

I mean-w-

'bout a hundred thousand.

Hm.

[Ms. Partridge teaching]

MS. PARTRIDGE: There's no such
thing as going too slow, okay?

We can take all the time we need.
Does that sound okay to you?

Do you want to start with this
word?

No? You don't?

Are you sure?
Cause I think you can.

You wanna give it a try?

Yeah?

Okay? Great.

[children laughing and running]

[children whispering]

MAX: Oooo!

[school bell rings]

[children entering hallway]

So,

how're you gonna kill me?

I don't know yet.

Are you gonna cut my throat?

Or are you gonna chop off all my fingers
so there's no way to identify me?

Or are you just gonna shoot me?

What's the difference?

I guess there isn't any.

MAX: I don't think
I'm gonna kill you.

LUCY:
Why not?

MAX: Do your parents teach
you to show all your cards?

LUCY:
I live with my dad.

Just so you know,
I wouldn't mind if you just

took me out.

Why would you say that?

I hate my life.

I don't think you're supposed
to say things like that.

Says who?

Well...

I don't know, aren't you, like,
a little kid?

I'm ten.

MAX:
Ohh.

MAX: When people see me coming they
will do anything to get me to leave.

But not you.

You not only want me to stay,
you want me to go through with it.

I already told you.

Hate your life.

What do you have to hate?

School.

My dad.

He does share his money with me, though.
We have a lot of it.

LUCY:
We're from New York.

MAX:
I've been there.

- LUCY: You have?
- MAX: Mhm.

Why did you kill that man?

I didn't kill that man.

Why were you trying to kill that
man?

I could have, though.

But, ya didn't.

If you don't know,
I'm not gonna tell you.

Someone paid you money
to take 'em out,

didn't they?

Can I do that?

You have to be

the very best of the best.

I can do that.

So,

what kinda competition do you
have?

- Competition?
- Who else does what you do around here?

No one.

You know what, no one can do
what I do

and they don't even appreciate
it, can you believe that?

Sooo, anyways.

Don't you need some marketing,
or something?

The government's foreign policy
always takes care of that one.

What are you getting out of
this, anyway?

[intercom beeps]

WOMAN: After school study group
is meeting in the library.

That means I missed my bus.

LUCY:
Just to make this clear,

you don't have to walk me home.

But, because you're an employee
of the school,

you could be held liable if
anything did happen to me,

since you did see me last.

MAX:
Is that a threat?

LUCY:
It's just how it is.

MAX:
Uh-huh.

LUCY:
Good.

- MAX: Well, Lucy is it?
- LUCY: That's right.

MAX:
Let's make something else clear.

I said I didn't think I was
gonna kill you.

I can think a lotta different
things.

LUCY:
That's what I assumed.

MAX:
Good.

MAX:
Now, then...

LUCY:
How 'bout a proposition?

Well?

What do you got?

Well, I could talk.

And what would you talk about?

What you're about.

And that is?

Well?

What if I want you to do
something?

And you won't talk?

If that's how it works.

Well, that depends upon
what you want me to do

and how that stacks up against
me not wanting you to talk.

I know someone who needs to go.

On a trip.

No. Go.

A target, huh?

Who is it?

Ruby McCallister.

What's she to you?

A terror.

Sometimes I don't even want to wake up
because I know I have to see her at school.

She says the meanest things.
I hate her.

Where does she live?

I don't know.

Do you got a picture of her?

I could get you one.

Yeah. Do that.

So does this square us up?

I don't know.

This is a loud target. High
profile.

Lots of emotions.

I appreciate the vow of silence,
but...

I could stand to eat a little
more.

8,000.

But I won't get my allowance
'til the end of the week.

- You said 8,000, as in $8,000-
- Three zeroes. Four weeks' allowance.

- Your daddy does what?-
- So that's a deal?

So, how far is it to your
daddy's house?

I can find my way home from
here, but, thank you, Mr. Bishop!

[school bell rings]

[melancholy guitar strumming]

WOMAN ON INTERCOM:
Melvin Howard,

you have a message
in the principal's office.

[children playing]

[intercom beeps]

WOMAN: Bus 49 has arrived.
Thank you for another great day.

[guitar fades out]

LUCY: So...
when can you do this for me?

MAX: The first thing you need to
know is that this stuff takes time.

MAX:
Right now...

I don't know when.

I need to see how this kid
operates.

Thanks for doing this for me,
Max.

You're paying. It's all fair.

My dad, he wants to talk to you.

He said there'll be appetizers.

What's that?

My dad, he wants to talk to you.

- Why?
- About the thing. He likes the idea.

- What now?
- We shouldn't be late.

And your daddy does what?

MAN: I appreciate you coming
here today.

Coming when called upon,

there's implied respect, I thank
you.

But, I'm sure you can appreciate
my interest in inviting you.

With monetary negotiations
underway,

my experience and line of work,

I felt it was necessary.

MAX:
Well... you know, sir, I-...

[Max clears throat]

...I'm trained in this field and
when your daughter approached me,

naturally I was inclined to have
interest.

Kneejerk reaction.

There was no intent
to offend or startle you.

Mr. Bishop,

you shouldn't misunderstand.

It is not in my interest to have
my family name defiled.

Little Lucy, here, is telling me
just that is taking place.

Some things

I need to take time to think
about

and some things I do not.

This...

I do not.

No.

I am here to see that both sides
are adequately taken care of,

to ensure a clean and successful
outcome.

That's all anyone wants.

Clean. Successful.

What was Lucy's offer to you,
Max?

MAX:
Uhhh...

...let me think here.

LUCY:
8,000.

Now, that will certainly get you
a body in the ground.

But, will it get you security?

Lucy, honey,

will it get you security?

What do you think, Max?

Well, the thing of it is, Mr.
Sergio,

factored into that quote was the
idea that Lucy would not, uhh,

share certain information about
me with certain individuals,

i.e....

anyone.

Max...

As if little Lucy's head

would not be the recipient of a
Mr. Bishop 9mm,

if you got a hint that she got
near so much as a string telephone.

What I want to know is...

what's with the clearance aisle
estimate?

I'm out of work at the moment...

You're washed up!?

You could say I'm on leave.

What did you mess up!?

I have an accomplished resume.

I want to hear it.

Listen to what I'm concerned
about, Lucy.

There is no honor
amongst an $8,000 dollar crowd.

Say the worst were to happen,

our friend Max gets into
trouble,

put into time out...

Would a member of the $8,000
crowd

have the honor

and the incentive

to remain quiet?

I wonder.

But,

say a member of the

$100,000 crowd...

I suspect that man
would have the incentive.

Beyond that,

I think that crowd

would be able to help us

avoid the whole scenario
altogether.

Hm?

[grandfather clock ticking]

It's okay if you can't
do this stuff, Max.

It's okay, Lucy.

How long have you all lived
here?

Six months.

And not afraid to jump in the
deep end right off the bat?

Some things require thinking
and some things do not?

Wouldn't be to your mind that
those

"thinkin' scenarios" take place
more out East?

Hm?

I mean,

here you are walking around like we're
in a city of cops stretched thin.

Around here,
you take a leak in the woods

and you will have a dozen bored
pigs on you like a feed pen.

You are not back home.

You cannot put on a show here.

A bullet to the head
with something like this?

It's an option.

But maybe...

maybe you need to get creative.

Consequently, you need patience,

you do need diligence

and you will need work ethic.

[grandfather clock ticking]

How bad is this kid hurting us?

Hm.

Mr. Bishop,

I appreciate your candor.

You'll be hearing from us.

- MS. PARTRIDGE: Good morning.
- MAX: Good morning.

MR. HUBERT:
'Scuse me.

MR. HUBERT:
Unprofessionalism.

Discourteousness.

Therefore.

O-oh, Ms. Partridge.

[clunky noises from outside
apartment]

- [paper slides through door slit]
- [knock at door]

- VOICE 1: Okay, let's go.
- VOICE 2: Why you going that way?

- VOICE 2: That's not the way we came in.
- VOICE 1: Yes, it is.

VOICE 2: I know that's
not the way we came in.

VOICE 1: You do this every time.
I don't know why I bring you along.

SERGIO:
Mr. Bishop,

I want to thank you again for
your insight into the community.

Lucy believes in you.

I believe in Lucy.

Defend our name

and it's 100,000 that we offer.

I trust you'll confirm with Lucy
at school.

[methodic guitar melody]

[car drives away]

- [children playing]
- [methodic guitar fades out]

It's on.

Oh yeah.

From here on out,
we don't know each other.

I'll call you.

Sounds good.

Okay.

But, don't you worry about a
thing.

- If you have any questions-
- Have a good day, Mr. Bishop!

Wait...

...for my call.

[pleasant guitar strumming]

[pleasant guitar fades out]

STRANGER: You the one involved
with the kid?

- MAX: Excuse me?
- STRANGER: It's alright, partner.

MAX:
I think you have me mistaken.

[Stranger chuckles]

STRANGER:
That's good.

STRANGER:
Thing of it is, though,

I only have time to get right to
it.

STRANGER: Sergio's contract?
Terminate it.

I'll make it worth your while.

MAX: Exactly what do
you want me to do?

STRANGER: I want you to do nothin'.
That's all.

Whatever you were gonna do for
Sergio...

don't.

MAX:
No?

STRANGER:
Yeah,

Sergio,

East Coast guy.

He's big,

he's fast,

maybe he's too fast.

MAX:
And what do I tell him?

STRANGER:
Tell him business intervened.

MAX:
Lots of money at stake here.

MAX:
There's a lot at stake for me.

STRANGER:
I can respect that.

MAX: Then I'm sure you can respect
my obligations to my client.

Obligations.

Commitments.

Those are important things.

STRANGER:
How does 500,000 sound?

MAX:
Done!

Good day to you, sir.

Vaya con dios.

What's the girl to you?

I have my reasons.

Maybe she don't deserve it.

Who knows?

[cell phone rings]

Yes.

MAN:
You don't know me.

And you won't know me. But I
know you.

And I know someone talked to
you.

Cowboy hat, right?

I know that chump.

Listen to me. Kill the kid.

- That so?
- Yeah. That's so.

You can denigrate a man for his
choice in wardrobe all you want

but that doesn't change the fact
that he showed his face.

You have not. Claimed you won't.

Why?

Because, man, I don't like it.
Any of it. [chuckle]

I'm like you.

Clean. Efficient.

I wonder.

How much do you want this?

How much did Shane want it?

How much do you think he did?

Well... you tell me.

Hm?

175,000.

Hello?

- I'm here.
- Did ya hear me?

Yeah.

And?

I asked you how much
you thought he wanted it,

not what you pay for toothpaste.

Fine. 200,000.

Are you trying to tell me it's more?
Is that what this is?

Okay. 220,000.

Is that good?

How 'bout 225,000?

230,000.

Huh?

I'm not at liberty to say.

Jesus.

235,000.

How 'bout that, huh?

No. 240,000?

245,000-

Jesus Christ, will you just
tell me what it is?

Is it-it's not 250,000, I know
that.

Is it 250,000?

Okay. Okay, fine. There it is.

250,000.

I said it. It is yours.
I'm walkin' away.

250,000. Are we good now?

What!? It's more than 250,000!?

[groans] Oh my God-okay.

275. 275,000.

Two hundred
and seventy five THOUSAND!

Okay, 'that it?

Don't you dare
tell me that it's more!

Do not.

Don't you dare tell me
it's more than 275...

Say nothing if it's more than
275.

Say nothing if it's more!

Sir... I can't say.

[painful grunt]

What is it with you!?

What do you need to tell me?

What do you need?

500,000.

[painful sigh]
That sly cowboy.

[chuckle]

[sigh]

I apologize, Mr. Bishop.
Please, forgive me.

Now...

you can count on 750,000
from us, if you see it through.

It'll be done soon.

Then I'll be calling you.
Again. Soon. [hangs up]

[methodic guitar melody]

[methodic guitar fades out]

Okay to join you?

Sure.

How are you getting along?

Fine.

Oh, good! Good! Oh, I hate this!

Ohh!
[aggressive groan]

I have to talk to you
about something.

I really don't want to.

But, it's something I've been
hearing.

It involves you.

I-...

I apologize.

What?

Mr. Bishop...

have any of your colleagues
been engaging in...

sexual activity in the
workplace?

Uhhh...

Mr. Bishop...

You know, I used to be involved
in what you might call

"street activity."

I know what it means to, uhh...

"snitch."

I think you can do this.

[children entering the
cafeteria]

Don't move.

Don't make a sound.

[pleasant guitar strumming]

[pleasant guitar fades out]

[dog growls and barks]

RUBY:
Are you here to play with me?

MAX:
No.

MAX:
I'm sorry.

MAX: Sorry for
bothering you like this.

That's okay. I figured not.

No one ever really wants to play
with me.

You probably don't know, but...

sometimes I shout out things
that I don't mean.

I can't control it.

I think it makes people
not wanna be around me.

I get it.

'Sucks, though.

Nice drawings.

Thanks.

Now I'm gonna go... back up that
hill.

Please don't watch me, it's...

...it's gonna be a hard climb.

Sure thing.

MAX:
[dreadful sigh]

MAX:
Lucy.

Things will be cleanly wrapped
up in a short period of time

and I will speak with you in person
as soon as it is appropriate.

Pass along my best to your dad.

Assuring you both that this will be
a clean and successful investment.

Very sincerely yours,

Chuck... Rutherford.

P.S.

Lucy,

Ruby may have a disorder
known as Tourette syndrome.

This may account for why
she says upsetting things.

I hope this is helpful.

[birds chirping outside]

You've been keeping busy.

I see you took my advice...
about finding something new.

School.

That's you.
I have no problem seeing it.

Seems though you found
some extracurricular activities.

It's come to our attention that
you have a new phone friend.

He talks like the world owes him
a favor.

Asked that you follow through on
a target.

He's a friend of a friend.

Not anymore.

SAL: Hm. No.

Not anymore.

He stepped outta line here.

That's why we need you
to step down on this one.

As you know, it's no joy of ours
to tell people their business.

But in this case, as it happens,

our business interests have
intersected.

Needless to say, our mutual
acquaitence

needs to be disappointed in this
situation.

You don't want me to take out my
target.

Unfortunately, no.

I got a job to do.

And we'll contract you, as it
were.

Compensate you for your losses.

It is our understanding that our
friend

offered you 750,000.

We'd like to offer you 1,000,000
to go your own way on this.

That's, uhh...

that's very generous of you.

What he probably didn't tell you
is that this...

this contract, uhh...

there's a lot of components
here.

It's a worthy offer.

But it doesn't take into account
the 100,000 coming my way

from my original client.

If I bend on this...

am I back on their payroll?

That's not how this is going to
work.

What's going to happen

is that you are going to sign
a proclomation

declaring that you won't partake
in any for-profit one eight sevens.

Not as a free agent.

Not as an organizational
employee.

Excuse me?

We are your friends, Max.

If this school doesn't work
or if you're out of options,

let us know.

But our friends
can't have you risking exposure

and, by extension, their
exposure, from this line of work.

Am I gonna be piss tested, too?

I didn't want to do this, Max...
but I need it.

The rifle.

You think I keep a rifle here?

Big Louie is outside,

he'll have to have a look
around.

And I'll be late for work.

You'll get the gun.

You want me to lay off
the extracurriculars?

Let me be on time.

From here on out,

if you get any calls,

if any new offers are made,

you will tell them that you have
never heard of a Max Bishop.

[melancholy guitar strumming]

[melancholy guitar fades out]

MAN: Did you not see
our girl in the pageant?

She was brilliant!

She is brilliant.

You don't get to waddle out of
your office and tell us she isn't.

You make me sick!

You actually create nausea
within me.

So help me, if I do get sick,
I will get sick all over you, sir!

You don't understand the severity with
which we could rearrange your life.

And what's your role
in this monstrosity?

I manage the custodial
department.

[man snickers]

MAN:
Is that right?

Are these people bothering you,
Principal Warta?

B- ugh-

b- bothering?

Do you even know what your Warta
has done to this school?

My Warta?

My Warta is striving to turn
this place into the finest

institution of learning in the
entire tri-county area.

WOMAN:
Oh, you think so?

And let me add,

I've been observing my Warta.

I dare anyone to endure a fraction
of what this man has put up with.

A screaming child.

A pitch that drives itself

into the deepest, most sensitive
part of your soul with its contempt

for your existence.

Imagine more than one of those
screams.

Imagine a roomful.

Imagine days, weeks, months,
years of your life consumed by this.

For what?

For you?

No.

I will leave you with this.

If I ever see you treating
my Warta like this again,

you will experience the full
wrath

of the JP Melville Elementary
custodial department.

Today will be Beatrice's last
day.

They're gone.

I think they actually might be
gone.

No,

I think they're definitely gone.

Thank you, Mr. Bishop.

I- I need to sit and breathe.

Principal Warta.

Partridge and Hubert?

They're good people.

Thank you, Mr. Bishop.

Yes.

Thank you.

[melancholy guitar strumming]

[melancholy guitar fades out]

[pleasant guitar strumming]

[pleasant guitar fades out]

Can I help you?

I was told you might be around.

You were told.

I'm concerned because I think I
might know what's going on here.

"What's going on here?"

Well I'd say a cheap,
knockoff replacement may have been found.

That why you're sitting
up here with a spotlight?

I mean...

anyone can see you.

What are you getting paid for
this?

Huh?

15,000.

You think that's a fair price?

No, I think it's the standard
rate of my employer.

Who is?

MAX:
"Consolidated Merchants?"

MAN: Subsidiary of
Holdings and Price.

MAX: And your outfit goes around
undermining the jobs that people

like me depend on?

MAN: Hey, if you got a beef,
call the number.

MAX:
"Sam... Smith?"

- Who specifically hired you?
- No idea.

You paid to say that?

No, I get paid to do a job.

Now I've got another job in
Springfield

and another in Phoenix.

Are you gonna let me get to
them?

- Today?
- Yeah.

You got a private jet?

Company jet. Company pilot.

MAX:
You serious?

SAM:
Deadly.

Well...

let's say you needed
to stop off and see a movie-

SAM: There's an armed drone.
It's about a hundred feet up in the air.

Second trigger on my rifle will
send two hollow-point rounds

through your chest cavity.

Each bullet will expand upon
entry,

maximizing the elimination
of tissue and organ.

MAX:
No shit?

SAM:
Shit yes.

Private jet.

Drones.

But 15K?

That's Consolidated Merchants.

80 hour weeks.

Flights every day.

I-...it's-...

You get good benefits, though?

Oh, we're making jokes now?

MAX: But they can't do
that, can they?

SAM: Hey man, it's you against
Consolidated Merchants.

To tell you the truth, I kinda envy
your sole proprietorship situation.

MAX: That's not all it's cracked up to
be, let me tell ya.

'Pay out your oriface in taxes.

SAM:
Yeah...

MAX: I just wish
I woulda had a heads up,

- I've been nursing this contract into a sweet package.
- [Sam sighs]

MAX:
But, uhh...

...I might be willing to negotiate
a severence or something.

SAM:
Yeah, no, yeah, I could-

SAM:
I can see that... I can see that.

We friends now?

Good.

Now whack off, I need to do
this.

[Max scoffs]

- I'm sorry. Did you just say
"whack off?"

- Whack yourself right off
outta here.

Cheap price. Three jobs in one
day.

That explains the rush

and why you're up here with the
subtlety of a beached whale.

You have no respect for your
trade.

MAX: There is no honor
in a $15,000 crowd.

SAM:
Yeah, so I've heard.

MAX: Well, why doesn't your friend
in the sky just take care of it?

SAM:
He's training.

MAX:
He's what?

SAM:
He's training. He's... analyzing.

Observing every little pointless thing
that I do wrong so he can improve

and I can be...

redundant.

I'm just waiting for my notice.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Now, then...

do I have your permission to
proceed?

Yeah.

I'm good.

[bird caws]

[frantic acoustic guitar]

So, what're we gonna play first?

We're gonna play the game
where I'm the boss

and you do what I say.

I do that with my parents every
day.

Then I bet you're very good.

Where's your mommy's phone
number?

It's over there somewhere.

Over here. Okay, uhh...

is it-is it on a business card?
Or a note? Or a-uh-

I need help.

I have it in my head.

In your head?

Okay. Uhh... what is it?

526 6821.

Five two-what?

6 6821.

Six six-wait, what?

6821.

Uhh-the first numbers.

668.

Uhh... the-

well-wh-what's the full
number?

526 6821.

Okay. Okay, please.

Please, just, you know...

Okay, one time, j-just...

one-one time-what?

No?

Oookay, uhh, uhh,

there are other things we can
do.

Uh, this is not
a super serious situation.

- Uh, uh-
- I talked to someone yesterday

who said if you have a problem,
it's best not to rush things.

You should
always try to take it in-

Yeah, like, I'm sure, like,
that was a great piece of information

- in the moment,
but right now we--[guitar ends]

You didn't let me finish my sentence,
you worthpless pig! Kill yourself!

[front door opens and closes]

- LUCY: Hey guys.
- RUBY: Hi Lucy.

Max, I got your letter.
Just so you know, it's not Tourette's.

Ruby has a social condition
that sometimes fails to inhibit

common emotion and behaviors.

That's why we're gonna be
friends now.

RUBY:
Yeah, I didn't mean to yell.

LUCY:
Everything else okay?

Not really.

He shot a guy up there.

Makes sense, thank you.

Max, was it because
you shot a guy up there?

He was gonna kill Ruby.

So you were trying to protect
her...

What?
No.

No!

I was trying to build up the
contract.

I did not get soft on the job.

No, no, no, no, no.

I don't particularly care
for either one of you two

as a matter of fact. Okay?

Let's get that straight. Right
now.

My dad said
he'll pay you for your time.

He asked about a time sheet?

Sure.

We gotta go!

- Where?
- We're gonna go to the-

Why?

Do we have time to watch
the rest of Toony Town?

Toony Town? No!

Oh my gosh, I love that show!

- No!
- Me too!

- No!
- Remember when the guy

- No!
- fell out of the tree because

- he was getting chased by the
chipmunk-

- Hey, we can do all of this on
the way!

Get your-get your coat.

Get... whatever else it is that you get.
Let's go meet your folks!

[knocking on front door]

[knocking on front door]

[knocking on front door]

MAN:
Mr. Bishop?

[knocking on front door]

Mr. Bishop?

Excuse me?

Max?

- I'm sorry, there's nobody here-
- I'm looking-oh, excuse me.

- We'll you didn't-
- Oh, what was that-

- Uh, I'm-
- You keep-

- Could you-
- W-What-

M- Mr. Bishop.

I'm not Mr. Bishop.

You're not Mr. Bishop?

No, I'm not.

There's nobody here by that
name.

By the name of a Mr. Max Bishop?

No.

Well I find that hard to
believe.

You find that hard to believe?

I do, indeed, sir.

You see, I pilot a private aircraft and
my passenger seems to have gone missing.

Oh no.

Oh yes.

Yes, you see,
when I lost contact with him

he was in the company
of a Mr. Max Bishop.

Well I should think
you'd wanna find him.

Yes.

Well, I don't believe
he could've gotten far, so

at the very least

would you mind
if I had a look around?

In this house?

Yes.

Oh no.

No?

This is a respectable house.

Respectable people.

We don't want anybody like you
scrambling around in here.

Sir, I don't appreciate the insinuations,
I'm just here to find someone.

Is there a reason you don't want
me coming inside?

Well, because I have nothing
to do with you, or this...

uhh, Max, is it?

Nothing at all?

Nothing at all.

[tired sigh]

You must forgive me, sir.

This passenger of mine,

not only is he a client, he's
a...

a dear friend.

I'm sorry.

I must have let my emotions
get the better of me.

You're right.

You have every reason
not to let me in.

Well, thank you.

I hope I didn't disturb you.

It's quite alright.
Disturbance avoided.

I thank you for your
understanding.

Of course.

Enjoy the rest of your day.

And you as well.

And Mr. Bishop?

Yes?

Max.

I apologize that our brief, but enjoyable,
engagement must now come to an end.

Good day to you, sir.

[gun cocks]

[gun jams]

[gun jams]

[disappointed sigh]
Oh, dear.

Okay, okay, okay.
[frustrated chuckle]

Oh, the union will love this.

Pilot level clearances.
Is that where we're at today?

It is?

50756.

Okay, Mr. Bishop, as soon as I
speak with Consolidated Merchants'

clearance team-'can't
believe I'm uttering this...

Yes, this is Cap-

[groans]

Main menu.

[enunciates]
Main menu.

Mr. Bishop, I hope you realize
the kind of people with whom

you're choosing to tango.

Yes. Live operator.

Live oper-

[groans]

Mr. Bishop, I hope I'm not
losing you.

Oh, no,

no, I'm still here.

Because, uh-....

Clearances.

Yes. This is Captain Costello.

I've found myself in a
situation.

My pilot level clearance
has locked my firearm-

- [gunshot]
- Whoah! Who-oah!

It's unlocked now! Yes.

Yes, hang on-

No! It's locked again! Again!

This is the kind of
micromanaging-

[multiple gunshots]
- Agh!

[painful groan]
Oogh, man!

[painful groan]
Oo-oh no.

[loud painful groan]

It unlocked again! But, I-

No.

No! It locked again!

Agai-gooogh, Lord!

That's an impact!

Whoooo! That's a devastation.

[painful cackle]

Oooh, that's gonna leave a mark!

[continuous painful cries]

Gooohhh, it's bleeding a lot.

[painful groan]
I said, "It's bleeding a lot!"

[continuous painful cries]

[girls laugh]

- Ooh, you should've
seen your face!

- You actually thought
we were dead.

RUBY: [laughs]
You were stone cold.

Max, you were actually scared
that we were dead.

You don't get it.

We have got to get out of here.
Now.

My mom's car is in the garage.

Your mom's car.

- Garage.
- Yep.

Wait. What about him?

COSTELLO:
There's a lot of blood!

No, no, no, no, no.

He's tied up with corporate.
Your mom's car...

K, are we talking V8?
Or, four on the floor?

[Costello]
Mr. Bishop...

Do we have
a performance package, here?

[Costello]
Mr. Bishop!

[cymbal tapping]

[cymbal stops]

Let's go.

LUCY:
Max!

RUBY:
Max, please!

LUCY:
Maaax! Max.

RUBY:
Why aren't you talking to us!

- RUBY: Can we go for ice cream?
- [cell phone rings]

- [girls screaming]
- MAX: Yeah?

MAN: I'm calling on behalf o'
your phone friend, Mr. Charlie.

Convenient timing, no?

- I can't hear a word you're sayin'.
- I said convenient timing, no!?

- [girls screaming]
- MAN: N-No.

MAX: My cheap replacement gets taken out
and suddenly I'm back on the payroll.

Well I'm authorized to go
as high as 3.5 to kill the kid.

I'll be callin'.
[hangs up]

RUBY: PLEEEEASE!

[fast paced acoustic guitar]

GIRLS: Ice cream! Ice cream!
Ice cream! Ice cream!

[cell phone rings]

Yeah.

MAN: 5,000,000 to spare the kid.
[hangs up]

- [girls screaming]
- [cell phone rings]

Yes.

WOMAN: 7,000,000 to take out the target.
[hangs up]

[girls screaming]

[cell phone rings]

CONFUSED MAN:
What am I buying, again?

Oh-eh-oh, heck,
put me down for nine. [hangs up]

- [girls screaming]
- [cell phone rings]

Ya?

You are gonna need to speak up.

Oh!

Ya.

MAN:
12,000,000 to take out the kid.

- [Ruby coughs]
- LUCY: Max, I have a joke.

MAN: But we'll be sending insurance.
[hangs up]

- [guitar fades out]
- RUBY: Maaax!

LUCY: Max?

- LUCY: Max!?
- MAX: What!?

- Is this your house?
- No.

This is not my house.

Around back there's a bench you
guys can play on, or, something...

[ominous, methodic bass]

[industrial screeching]

[Lucy and Ruby talking outside]

RUBY: I think Morgan's group
is performing that song.

[girls talking]

RUBY: Well, okay, it's nothing much.
But what would you sing about?

LUCY:
"What would I sing about?"

LUCY: What about life
on another planet?

RUBY:
Aliens?

RUBY: Ooh,
what about if in a thousand years

parents just give kids their own planets?
And that's where they grow up,

- right on their own little planet.
- [bass fades out]

LUCY:
Wow.

RUBY:
That's crazy.

LUCY:
Crazy cool!

[girls talking]

[footsteps]

Do the job.

RUBY:
Me neither.

LUCY:
What do you have written so far?

[girls talking]

Do the job.

[ominous industrial noises]

Pull the trigger.

Pull the trigger.

Pull the trigger.

[empty click]

- [industrial noises stop]
- [girls talking]

[gunshot]

[melancholy guitar melody]

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull