Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

Hey, what's up, guys?

Hey.

Hey.

Nice car.

Thanks, man.

It's good for a job like this.

Save a lot of money.

And then you can get a real car.

Yeah, I can't say I've won very many races in this car.

So what you reading?

Fairy Boy and the Lost Ring.

Check this out.

No, that's The Ring of Kings.

- It's a classic. - Wait, do you like fantasies?

I was basically addicted to Man of Quest.

My parents almost sent me to rehab.

But, yeah, I was an artist on, um, Elf Queen.

Are you kidding me?

That's the mobile game, right, with the woman

with the giant, like, uh...

- Gigantic breasts. - Giant breasts.

Oh my gosh, that's so cool.

Yes, I drew those breasts.

What? No way.

Is that weird if I say I'm a huge fan

of your breasts?

Yes, it would.

Right.

Hey, so, I'm an artist, too.

I'm just not a very good drawer,

but I have these ideas for these stories.

Yeah? Like what?

So there's this one, right, like a knight,

and he's kind of, like, down on his luck.

He's a really good guy, you know,

and things just aren't really going his way in life...

So when does the knight drop off the URIDE passengers?

We're here.

Hope you guys enjoyed your ride.

Hey, um, sorry about my boyfriend earlier.

He can be kind of...

Yeah, never mind.

Um, anyway,

your story sounds really awesome.

I think you should write it down,

you know, make something out of it.

- You think so? - Absolutely.

And, uh...

For the trouble.

Thank you.

And that is a really good book, by the way.

Ooh, ten bucks.

You're not supposed to tip him.

Hey, it's my money and I do what I want with it.

He's still here.

He's watching us.

He's probably just making sure that we get in, okay?

It's polite.

I'm gonna tell him to leave.

Babe...

Come on.

My buzz is wearing off.

Let's go open a bottle of wine or something.

Come on.

Okay.

Hey, Jesus.

- How you doing, man? - Hey, I'm good.

What's going on, dude?

- How are you? - Good.

You know, you're in here every Friday night.

You know, I'm in here all the time.

What I'm getting at is, um, don't you, like, go out,

have fun with friends or something?

I do, but it's just that most of my friends

are in college.

Ah, your friends are children, okay.

Wow.

Hey, you know, I did meet a girl tonight.

You did? Woo!

What happened?

Is she interested?

I don't know, I hope so.

It's just that, um...

She's got this asshole boyfriend, you know?

Oh. A boyfriend.

Jesus, you should take the first exit,

because the vulture game is kind of a hard road.

I'll beat you, nosy-ass cashier.

Aren't you gonna have breakfast?

I did.

I had something at the gas station.

Let me make you something.

I have to go to work, Mom.

You just came from work.

To real work, all right?

Not driving these drunks around

who make fun of my car.

I'm sorry.

Maybe it's time I call your father.

What? No.

I don't miss that asshole and neither should you.

- We need him. - No, we don't.

We never needed him.

All right, I can take care of everything.

Let me make you an egg.

Fine.

Just one, all right? Real quick.

Hey, gringo is here.

I told you, I ain't no gringo, man.

You speak Spanish?

Un poquito.

Just like a gringo.

Hey, Jesus, go take the barrels out.

Waste management will be by in an hour to pick 'em up.

All right.

Miguel. Miguel, hey.

Circles.

Long-ass day, man.

Hey, Jesus.

Hey.

- Jesus. - Huh?

It's a lunchroom.

Yeah.

So tell me how I'm supposed to feel

when my girlfriend is going on dates with other guys.

It's a girls' night with people from work.

If you want to sit around feeling sorry for yourself,

that's your fault, okay?

Maybe I should go with you.

And how am I supposed to explain that?

Just send me pictures.

Kaiden, you can trust me.

Why is the guy from the other night here?

That's just the URIDE driver.

It's not even the same car as last night.

I know what the car looked like.

Don't play me.

Don't you dare grab my fucking hand.

Can we pick somebody up on our way to the bar, please?

- Are you okay? - Yeah, let's just get

the fuck out of here.

Hey, uh, would you mind keeping what happened earlier

just between us two?

Hey, Brianna.

I'm gonna buy you so many drinks.

Oh, God. What happened?

We didn't get the licensing deal for Courage Drop.

The author thinks that video games

are not a dignified medium for her work.

Fucking start-ups, man.

So when is the new launch date?

Well, the game is ready,

uh, except for the story tweaks and the new art

so we don't have to delay the launch.

Dammit, Diane, you need an entire year's worth of art

in a month?

You're gonna buy me every single drink.

So how's Kaiden?

He's fine.

We're fine.

Let's take a selfie.

So how's your night?

Have any crazy passengers?

Uh, no.

It's been kind of a quiet night.

You know, I just want to get fucked up

at this point, okay?

Mel's having a house party.

Let's just go to that.

I'll update the route.

This dress is too tight.

This is what I get for...

Oh my gosh!

I am ready to drink.

Hey. Hey, are you a URIDE?

Hey.

Hey, are you a URIDE?

Look, I'm not working, sorry.

Oh, come on, man.

- Give me a ride, man. - Use the app,

and somebody will give you a ride, okay?

Yeah, but you're right here, man.

Come on, we're...

We're two "condensing" adults here, right?

I give you the money and you give me a ride home.

Sorry, but I'm not working.

- Goodbye. - Come on!

Come on, man! You know...

You're a bitch!

Yeah.

You're a bitch.

Who's this?

You look familiar.

Well, that was fast.

Were you waiting for us?

No. It's just a slow night.

It's a Saturday.

Sorry, I crossed the line.

I just want you to be happy.

I am happy.

Ugh.

Are you coming?

What?

Oh, no, no, no.

I have to get home to...

I think it's best if you just come with me.

No, Diane, I can't just stay out all night, okay?

Okay, you're a grown woman.

You don't have to do anything.

It's okay. I can make sure she gets home safe.

Ugh.

He's fine, okay?

He's... he's writing a book

and he's reading a book that I like,

and I actually think that you really like him.

Look, I'm not gonna fuck you or anything.

Get home safe, Brianna.

Do you ever feel like nobody wants you?

I'm sure people want you.

No, they just want something from me.

Like, sex or something?

Yeah, but...

Sex is easy.

Yeah, I can relate.

I mean with people using you.

You know, at both my jobs,

people don't even look me in the eye anymore.

I'm just like this donkey pulling a cart, you know?

I love my boyfriend.

I just wish he was someone else sometimes.

So why don't you just do it, why don't you just leave

your boyfriend?

I'm...

I'm tired.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, careful.

I'm okay.

I got it, I got it.

What do you think of my friend, Diane?

I mean, she's all right.

Well, she thinks you're really cute.

Doesn't she, like, have a thing for you?

I mean...

She has a crush on everyone.

She's kind of just, like, in love

with being in love, you know?

I mean, is that such a bad thing?

If you started just working around her house

and driving around there, I'm sure that you would

pick her up sooner or later.

Thanks, but, um...

I kind of have my heart set on someone else.

Oh...

Um...

It's okay. Don't...

- Don't worry about it. - It's for the ride.

Thanks.

Get in safe.

- What are you doing here? - I'm just the URIDE driver.

- I know what the fuck you are. - Okay, look, she was drunk.

- You were gonna fuck her? - You're crazy.

If I see you around here again, I'll kill you.

Fucking hit me? Oh, she don't even fucking love you.

So don't fuck with me!

Huh?

Try to fucking touch me,

I'll take your fucking life, motherfucker!

Fuck you!

Hey there...

...Scarface.

You're looking a bit underdressed today.

Where's your gear?

Oh, come on.

It's just one day.

How's it gonna look if I keep playing favorites with you?

Okay, look, just... I can go home real quick, all right?

Or better yet, look, I can just borrow a vest and a hat.

Please, come on, I need the hours.

Please, please, please.

All right, look, uh, I was gonna send you

to the store anyway, so take the company card,

go pick up the product at the store,

then get your shit.

Oh, thank you so much.

- Thank you. - It's fine, all right?

You're not like the other guys.

- Huh. - Hey, if we have a problem,

I can send Mr. White.

Oh, no, no, no.

Look, I appreciate the second chance, okay?

Thank you so much, thank you.

Fucking asshole.

Hey, and, kid,

there's no place in America for someone

who can't take a compliment.

You're jumpy.

Yeah, well, I wasn't really expecting anyone.

Well, I thought you'd want to go for a run

or maybe watch a movie.

I'm tired.

I thought that'd be your answer,

which is why I brought you coffee.

Oh, you are a beautiful man.

So how was last night?

It was good.

Anything interesting happen?

No.

Not really, just...

...too many drinks.

Diane finally made a pass at me, though.

We fought about it, but I think we'll be okay.

Did you not sleep in your pajamas?

Hey, I barely got out of my clothes.

I didn't make it to bed.

My head hurts.

Let me.

What time did you get home?

Mm, I don't know.

Like, midnight maybe?

Did you take a URIDE back?

Yeah.

Sure as hell wasn't driving.

Why?

No reason.

Tired of driving your rough commute to work?

A URIDE will come right to your door,

driven by one of our many Class A/Class C drivers.

Download the app and start your ride today.

And now, a look at last night with our Morning Rewind.

We're looking for a white Chevy Camaro

that ran a Toyota Prius off the road

off of Mill Creek and First Street.

He then stared the victim down and left.

The motive is unknown, but this is

the second such report we've received.

- No further questions. - You okay?

What happened?

I'm fine.

I just... I forgot my shit.

- Is that everything? - Uh-huh.

We want to send a special shout-out

to all the drivers out there doing good work.

Ah!

Do we want to send out a shout-out

to the drivers who are not doing good.

Hey, drivers out there...

- Jesus? - Michael?

- Yeah. - All right, Mike,

how's it going today?

It's awesome, thanks.

- We're heading to Akbar? - Yeah.

You should have it on your...

Yeah, no, no, no, I got it.

Got it right here.

So we're meeting up with friends tonight

or what's going on?

- Uh, just, yeah. - All right.

So, do you, like, hate your life?

Did you want to be a URIDE driver?

Nobody wants to be a URIDE driver, stupid.

I don't know.

It seems fun.

So, what went wrong in your life?

Are you a virgin?

Um, are you aware there's a pipe back here?

Thank you, Jeeves.

It's so awkward when they don't talk.

Why do you have to make everything a fight?

I'm not trying to fight right now, babe.

It's just I wasn't expecting you

to come over today and, look,

I'm really glad that you did, okay?

But I just need to take care of real-life bullshit now,

you know?

So you were happy I came and now you want me to go.

Yes, Kaiden.

I called a URIDE, okay?

That's a perfectly normal thing to do.

Okay, and you called the same guy.

I just pick whichever driver is closest to me, okay?

You always get the same black Prius.

Oh. Okay, yeah, you caught me.

I just call the same guy every single time.

Hm, I wonder why a woman would continue to hire

the same person that she knows isn't a murderer or a rapist

instead of taking a chance with some random stranger?

Clearly, the only answer is that she wants to fuck him.

So you want to fuck him.

Oh my God, you pathetic, insecure motherfucker.

Why won't you trust me?

How can I trust you?

All you do is lie to me.

About the cabs that I get.

You said you came home at midnight,

but I saw him leaving your place

- at 1:00 in the morning. - Oh my God, I was drunk, okay?

I'm sorry I don't remember exactly what time

I got home last night.

Why was he here?

He wasn't even inside!

I know what I saw.

You know, I would get really mad at you

for spying on me again, but if you were spying on me,

you would know what happened.

So what happened?

Nothing!

You are crazy.

Please, don't do this.

Hey!

Hey, leave her alone.

I thought I taught you not to come around here anymore.

What do you think you're doing?

I just want to go to the store.

Don't you dare go with him.

God, babe, I think you should just go home.

What's that supposed to mean?

Just don't be here when I get back.

Sorry you had to go through that tonight.

No, I'm sorry I dragged you through my drama, so...

Hey, can I ask you a personal question?

Why am I with that asshole?

Why are you with that asshole?

You're right, that is a personal question.

Okay, what is it? What's the answer?

I love him? I don't know.

Bullshit.

What do you love about him, the paranoia

or the homicidal violence from the paranoia?

Can we just not do this right now?

Okay, I've had a bad day, I'm hungry,

and I just want to get some food.

So I was thinking maybe after everything,

tonight could be a sit-down restaurant type of night.

I'm not dressed for it.

Or...

Not sit-down restaurant, not fast food place.

My treat.

I don't want to be a burden, okay?

What? No.

Not a problem at all.

Look, I got this client, right,

and she tips me really well,

so technically, she's paying for it.

Oh, yeah?

Why don't you tell me about this client of yours?

Oh, no, no, no.

I can't talk about that.

I took a sacred oath, all right,

to never talk about my clients and never take a tip.

Goodbye, Jesus.

Hey! Hey.

Uh...

Um, you forgot to tip me.

Well, I wouldn't want you to break your sacred oath.

Sacred oath.

It's more like a sacred philosophy.

Sacred instruction manual at best.

Okay.

Look, I know I came off kind of strong, all right,

but I was just trying to be funny,

you know, get your mind off things,

elevate your mood a little bit.

What are you now, like my therapist?

Sorry.

I should probably get going now.

Yeah, me too.

Hey.

So...

What's this not sit-down, not fast food place?

Get in. I'll show you.

What are these?

They're so tiny.

'Cause these are authentic.

Well, that's not acceptable.

I mean, we could just order a shit ton more.

Now that is acceptable.

You know, if you want large tacos,

Tacos Grande is the spot.

We should definitely go there sometime.

Yeah, for sure.

You seem like you're in a better mood.

Yeah, well, I still have some thinking to do, you know?

Guess what? I got the perfect spot for that.

Wow.

So this is it.

This is my favorite spot in town.

Well, out of town, actually.

It's so quiet up here.

Yeah, I used to come up here in high school.

And, then, when I first got my driver's license,

I would just...

...drive around just to get away

from my problems at home, you know?

Yeah, nothing is more complicated than home.

I don't get it, if you need space,

why are you still with him?

It's hard to explain, okay?

I...

I think of love as like a contract,

so when you love somebody,

you're bound to them, you know?

That's terrifying.

Maybe that's the difference between you and me.

I take love seriously.

No, I take love seriously.

No.

Guys always think they do.

I should probably get going.

Huh? What the fuck?

Fuck.

Oh, Jesus.

You're usually in here for, like,

energy drinks and shit.

What's with the downers?

They're for a party.

Come on, Jesus.

Thirty racks and kegs are for parties.

Six-packs I like to call "masturbatory packs."

Get it?

- No? - Can you

just ring them up, please?

You want to try that again with some manners?

Look, I'm having a rough night, okay?

Okay, that's all you had to say.

So is this about that girl

that you've been vulturing around?

I'm not a fucking vulture, man.

All right, you're right, that was mean.

Is this about that that girl you've been circling around,

waiting for her relationship to die?

Do you ever just focus on your job?

This job doesn't take a lot of focus.

There's no one here.

So come on.

It's just that...

...at the end of the night,

she got a ride home from somebody else.

What do you mean? Like, her mom?

After our date.

I don't know, maybe she just felt

like it would be weird to hire me again,

you know what I mean?

Yeah, it would've been weird.

Why didn't you just take her home for free

like a gentleman?

Ah.

So for this date, did you ever use the word "date"?

It was a date.

- I know dates. - I'm just saying,

sometimes you can be on a date

and, you know, you think it's going well

and you think you're gonna get a hand job,

but then she calls the cops.

The point is, she doesn't think it's a date,

and I think that's your situation, buddy.

- Is that for me? - Yeah.

Yeah.

Saw 'em at the mall a couple of months ago.

- Yeah? - Jesus,

are you still awake?

Yeah.

Are you feeling okay?

Yes, I'm fine, Mom.

Did you take anything?

Yeah.

I'm medicating.

...a month ago and it still hasn't happened.

What about work?

I called off.

Okay.

You know, your mind keeps you awake

when you don't have any time for yourself.

Yes, Mom! Thank you!

Mijo, is there anything I can do for you?

Jesus?

For the love of God, Mom, I'm fine, all right?

Just leave me alone!

Jeez!

What about me?

- Hello? - Hey, Jesus.

I was wondering if you were coming in today.

I called out sick.

Yeah. Yeah, I got that message.

I was wondering if you could come in anyway.

I'm sick.

Funny.

You know what else is funny?

It's funny that I thought you needed this job.

So how's that year's worth of art coming along?

On a scale of one to 12, I would say February.

At least it's not a leap year.

I'm sorry about what happened the other night.

It's cool. I mean, objectively,

it's the least shitty thing going on in my life

right now, so...

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

The URIDE driver and Kaiden almost got into a fight

the other night.

Jesus. Why?

Jesus is kind of a stalker, and Kaiden's...

Jesus is just too nice of a guy to start a fight,

so what happened?

I don't want to hear it, Diane.

Okay, he's a really great guy,

and my father gave him his blessing to marry me.

Why did Kaiden start the fight?

God, I said nothing happened, okay?

Boys are just crazy.

You know I'm here for you if you need anything.

So that's why you smell like cerveza and sadness.

Yeah, I guess I'm not being that much of a man about it.

Before I got with my girl,

went through shit like that all the time.

I learned the key is you got to figure out

if this shit is viable

before you do something stupid.

We went on a date.

How's that not a sign of viability?

Look, if it were me, I would try to get in good

with one of her friends, you know?

The friends will let you know whether you need to step down

or step up.

That's actually some good advice.

What do you mean "actually"?

I was hoping I'd get you one of these days.

Yes, and welcome to the front seat.

You don't remember me?

Yeah, you're, um...

- Diane. - Diane, yes.

Brianna's friend.

Right, I do think I know a Brianna.

Maybe it's another URIDE driver

who stalks my friend, fights her boyfriend,

and then takes her out for Mexican food.

Oh, yeah, that Brianna.

Yeah, except I didn't fight her boyfriend,

and I definitely don't stalk her, okay?

She just happens to be where I drive by.

Oh, you just happened to drive by

where she lives, works, and hangs out?

No, it's not even...

Is that what she thinks of me?

Don't worry. I think it's cute.

It's like a romantic comedy.

Girl has abusive boyfriend,

she meets some nice guy with a humble job

who does crazy things to get her attention.

I wish someone would do insane things for me.

I'd settle for Mexican food.

So she doesn't think it's cute.

Selective hearing, my one weakness.

Um...

How about we go to Mexican food, too?

Really?

That is a big burrito.

Hey, can I get your number?

Yeah, of course, of course.

'Cause that way if we want to text

or hang out or whatever,

we don't have to use the URIDE app.

And for what it's worth,

I hope she chooses not asshole boyfriend.

And picks me?

I wouldn't go that far.

I mean, faint heart never won fair lady,

but no one likes a creeper who won't give you your space.

You're on her radar, just let her decide

to come to you.

- Hi. - What are you doing here?

I just haven't heard from you,

and I just wanted to see if you were okay.

Are you crazy?

Me, crazy?

You're the one that's breaking up with

a homicidal boyfriend, and I'm the crazy one

for checking to see if you're okay?

Everything all right?

No, babe, it's fine, um,

somebody just lost their way.

Yeah, see, you are looking for

East Hollyway,

and this is just Hollyway.

You didn't break up with him.

Look, this... this isn't the time and place for this conversation.

Okay?

We'll talk about it later.

Where?

- When? - I don't... I don't know.

I'll just... I'll just summon you, okay?

Did you give him the right directions?

He'll figure it out.

Um, I'm gonna have to run by Diane's

- a little bit later. - Yeah, of course.

Whatever you want.

Hey, did you work out new levels to the game?

No, we just had to change the look

of all the old stuff,

since we couldn't secure the license.

Oh, that sucks.

But, I have new art.

Hm, can I see it?

Yeah.

That must be the pizza man.

Or maybe it's your lost traveler

who didn't understand your directions.

This is my place and my area, okay?

- I'll take care of it. - Or maybe we should both get it.

Babe, just sit down, relax,

play the game.

I need to know what you think of it.

Yeah, I couldn't find it.

I couldn't find the phone, but you know what I did find?

That my balls have abilities kinda like a fly trap.

Um, it's gonna be, uh,

$13.52.

Okay, let's see.

Gettin' chilly out there.

- Go ahead and keep the change. - Oh, thanks.

- Enjoy your pizza. - Thanks, have a good night.

So, what do you think?

I love it.

I didn't get the original.

This one's a lot easier for me to follow.

Hey, it's the nugget.

- What are you doing here? - Your mom and I

are getting back together, boy.

For now.

We're back together for now.

It's a Christmas fucking miracle.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Hey, hey, I thought we were gonna take care of things.

Mhm, and how well is that working out?

You know, I checked the mileage on the Prius.

It's out there just sitting there all night lately.

I am trying, Mom.

All right, don't you think I'm trying?

Just think you're killing yourself

for not very much money.

Eric said he'll change.

He's not gonna change.

All right? It takes a lot for somebody to change,

and he's not the type of person to put in the effort.

Hell, he's not even the type of person

that thinks there's something wrong with him.

It's just until the lawyers can get me

the worker's comp money.

They know you didn't hurt yourself at work, Mom.

All right, they're just trying to find a way to prove it.

I hurt it at work.

Yeah, then why aren't you wearing the sling?

'Cause he did this.

If you have a problem with a man, boy,

you bring it up to his face.

You don't go hiding around the corner

and complain to Mommy.

You can't handle what I have to say to you.

I could handle exactly what you have to say to me, son.

Enough, both of you.

This is my house.

Things are different this time.

Things are different this time.

You're right, baby.

I'm sorry.

You.

I'm not a fraud.

I'm a good person, Catholic,

and your mother.

You're not God.

- Don't judge me. - Okay, look, I'm sorry.

All right? I just think things are better when he's gone.

This house was my father's house,

and after the doctors' bills,

it was all he had to give me.

I am not losing it so you can play big man.

Take the gift.

Go back to college.

I can't go back to college, I already dropped

- all my classes... - Then go back next semester.

Become someone who can take care of us,

then you can decide what happens in this house.

I'm not having my son drive an underpaid taxi

and pretend he has a future.

I hear this is a great place to think through tough decisions.

Yeah, are you okay?

You're a really nice guy, Jesus.

Oh, God.

And Diane has taken a liking to you,

and I think you guys would be really great for each other.

- I don't want Diane. - Well, I don't want you.

I thought we had a connection.

I mean, if you can honestly say that you didn't feel anything,

then I'll leave right now.

I love Kaiden, okay?

That's not love, it's Stockholm syndrome.

Love is serious for me.

It's not just something I'm gonna throw away

because some cute guy happens to come along

with a little bit less damage.

Kaiden's not damaged, he's wrecked!

Well, you know what? Maybe I am, too, then.

And what about your kids?

What are they gonna do, huh, when he gets out of control?

Well, you know what? That's not your problem.

You can't control him.

I'm sorry, Jesus,

but I've made my decision.

- You still want a ride? - Sure.

What are you doing here?

I'm here to see Brianna.

We're hanging out.

You can talk to her later.

- Are you sure? - Just leave.

Okay.

Well, you fucked up, you know that right?

I didn't come here to see if she was here.

Came here to see if you'd lie for her,

and since you did means she's doing something

she's not supposed to,

probably with that URIDE driver.

I don't know what she's doing, but I lied to you

because you're an abusive prick

who doesn't deserve to be with Brianna.

Oh, please.

You just hate me 'cause you're in love with her,

- and she's not. - Fuck you.

And if I were abusive, she would've left me.

- Get out before I call the cops. - The cops?

- Mhm. - Go ahead.

Didn't think so.

I just... I just don't understand

why I've lost everything.

All right? My mom kicked my dad out for abusing her.

All right, her work knows

that she's committing fraud and they cut off her checks,

and then I had to move back home or else the bills

- wouldn't get paid. - Look, that all really sucks,

okay, I get it, and...

and you're a great guy for coming back to help your mom.

So, then why are you picking that asshole instead of me?

Oh, God, this fucking cliché.

Not every guy that I meet is just automatically

thrown into some competition with the guy

that I've been dating for the past four years.

Okay, somebody that I said, "I love you" to.

That's a real promise.

Yeah, but Jesus fucking Christ, it's not a wedding vow.

Well, you know what? For me it basically is, okay?

I know that my relationship is broken right now,

but I am trying to fix it.

I'm not just gonna throw away all those years.

That time has to mean something.

You're just gonna give more of your life to misery

by trying to fix the unfixable.

All right? The only way to deal with abusive men

is to kick them out of your life,

- and you know how I know... - Well, I'm sorry that you

didn't love your dad enough to try and help him.

- Fucking Christ... - You are really making me

wanna leave my boyfriend for you right now.

Look, you said you were unhappy,

and it's only gonna get worse.

You said, "Make this time matter."

Well, I've spent the last few months

of my life

trying to free my mom from my dad,

and now he's back.

All right? So everything that I sacrificed was for nothing.

Except I got to meet you.

Ugh, no.

- No, Jesus. - Look, the only way

that this time is gonna be meaningful

is if we hook up together.

- What? - I mean,

think about it, it... it's our destiny,

- it's our fate, it's... - Look, I am sorry

that you did a noble deed for no reward,

but as the random woman whom you barely know

and happen to have feelings for,

I am not obligated to compensate you

on behalf of the fucking universe, okay?

No.

Fuck this, I just... this whole fucking thing.

What are you doing? I don't live this way.

Fuck, nothing's coming out right, okay,

- just give me a minute. - No, no, no.

- Take me home now. - No, no, no, I'll take you home

as soon as I can prove to you why you're making a mistake

- staying with Kaiden. - Let me out or I'm getting out.

Can you honestly say that you feel safer

jumping out right here than just staying in this car

and talking with me?

Help! Help!

- Help! - Hey, hey, hey, calm down.

- Calm down. - I'm calling 911.

This is kidnapping.

911.

You asshole!

Oh, crap!

No, no, I... I'm not going

anywhere with you, okay?

You are gonna have to stop at a light eventually,

and I am getting the fuck out of this car.

If you want me to run all these lights,

I will.

You win, I'll just be your

- good little captive. - You're not a captive!

Any available units near District 14,

be advised of a dropped call near 27-53 Big Leaf Parkway.

Hey, that's not far from here.

- You wanna check it out? - Why not?

Uh, it's Detective Nwafor,

20's close to the location.

We can check that out for you guys.

10-4, Nwafor.

Pop the lights, let's go.

The number you have called is not available.

Please leave a message for... Jesus.

Hey, Jesus, it's Diane.

Brianna isn't answering.

Kaiden just came to my place

with his hyper-masculine bullshit,

looking for Brianna.

He says he's been tracking her phone.

He suspects you're together.

Look, you cannot...

you cannot be found together.

I don't know, I have this feeling

that something bad's gonna happen to Brianna,

you know?

I don't know, I guess I'm saying,

look out for my friend, okay?

So,

what are you gonna do to me?

We're just gonna talk.

Look, I know what I did earlier was crazy,

but we're gonna laugh about it when we're done.

Okay?

Bitch!

Why won't you let me save you?

Look at me!

Jesus, look at the situation, okay?

What makes you think that you're the knight

and not the fucking dragon?

Kaiden is dangerous.

You think that you can save me

from my boyfriend by beating me

with a fucking lead pipe?

Go on, hit me then, daddy's boy.

Give in to your fucking feelings.

And did you see how I took control

of that situation?

Half your size, no weapon,

and yet you're the one who got hurt.

I don't need saving.

- Please don't do this. - You are going to jail.

You don't treat women that way.

Not only could you not save your mom,

but when she finds out that you're on

the sexual predator list,

it's probably gonna kill her.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit!

She's fine, everything's fine, we're fine.

That was a nice swing, slugger.

What are you doing here?

Well, your mom sent me outside to see what all the noise was.

We're lucky she didn't come out herself.

No usable fingerprints even though

he was just touching it.

I wonder how that happened.

That's my girlfriend's phone.

We're wasting time, she's in danger.

We have people looking for her.

But how did you know the phone was here?

I had a tracker installed.

Did you install it with her consent?

Yeah, and she'll tell you that.

But do you have consent to search her phone?

An unlocked phone is an open phone.

- That doesn't seem legal. - Sir, do you have a problem

with us finding your girlfriend?

No.

Why did she have a tracker on her phone?

Was she concerned something like this might happen?

Yeah, there was this creepy URIDE driver

who's been harassing her the past several days.

We installed it for safety.

- I don't see a tracking app. - It's hidden.

Look, she makes video games.

She didn't want anyone at the office thinking

something weird was going on.

You said it was a URIDE driver?

Yes, ma'am.

- Is this him? - Yes.

You find him, you find Brianna.

Oh, that is good, throw that rag on the ground

and spread the DNA everywhere.

Are you gonna help me or not?

- Now you want my help. - What do you want?

A simple exchange.

You don't ruin my life, and I won't ruin yours.

Stop trying to get me kicked out of the house.

Let your mom's crooked lawyers bleed her workman's comp dry,

and above all else, stop telling her

that there's a world outside that she could survive in

without me.

I'm not selling you my mom.

Fuck that.

It's more like you're leasing her to me,

and you did just club a girl in the head with a pipe.

I wouldn't exactly say you're a third wave feminist.

So, what's it gonna be?

Are you gonna get to live life like a man who's never kidnapped

and murdered a woman?

- I didn't murder her. - You're gonna have to.

If you catch a tiger by the toe,

there's no letting it go.

Just stop talking, Dad.

Every single family has a curse.

This violence and rage,

that's ours.

Justice,

fairness, goodness.

Those are all social constructs, man.

Selfishness is the way of nature.

I'm still a good person.

No, you're not,

and neither am I.

Bro, all you have is your life.

Are you gonna let this girl put your entire universe

behind a prison cell for the rest of your existence?

He's lying.

This girl regularly used this Jesus driver.

She liked him or at least felt safe with him.

The stalker story doesn't pan out.

Doesn't that white Camaro match the description

of the vehicle from the road rage incident

a few days ago?

The victim's car was a dark Toyota Prius, right?

Yeah, why?

So, am I under arrest or can I go?

Should you be under arrest...

Kaiden?

It's all circumstantial, we don't have enough

to keep him.

One part of the story does hold up.

The URIDE driver was one of the last people to see Brianna.

You're free to go.

But don't leave town.

What are you doing?

You need to leave some water in the barrel.

- For what? - To drown this puppy

like the bitch that she is.

- I'm not killing her. - Fine.

- I'll do it. - No!

If you leave a girl alive long enough in a barrel,

the first thing she's gonna do when she wakes up

is scream like a banshee.

I'm not drowning her.

Incoming call from Jesus.

- Diane. - I've been calling and texting.

I got your voicemail, have you talked to Brianna?

Is she with you, what happened?

She called me to pick her up from the spot that I showed her.

- She said she wanted to talk. - What did she wanna talk about?

Um... she said she wanted to leave Kaiden,

and that he made her fear for his life.

- Then what happened? - And then, he showed up.

- Oh, God, are you okay? - I don't know how he found us

until I got your voicemail.

He said that I was sleeping with her,

and that he wanted to kill her for being a whore.

Well, that sounds like Kaiden.

And then, I told him to get back in his little pony car

and get out of here.

He just let her go?

- Jesus, are you there? - Somebody's here.

If it's the cops, send them to my place.

If he did anything to her, I wanna be the one

- to make him pay. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I gotta go.

I gotta go, I gotta go.

Hi, Jesus?

- Yes? - I'm Detective Clarkson.

This is my partner, Detective Nwafor.

Do you mind if we ask you some questions?

- Sure. - Do you work

as a URIDE driver?

Yes.

Did anything interesting happen to you tonight?

What do you mean?

For instance, where'd you get that black eye?

Yeah, that's a mean shiner.

A passenger's boyfriend hit me.

And why would he do that?

Because he's a psychopath.

I'm sorry, it's getting a little cold out here.

Do you mind if we continue this inside?

Yeah, come on in.

You got a bathroom?

Sit down, son.

Nice place you got here.

You live with your mom and dad?

I live here with my mom.

You know, we can all save people,

whether it's a missing person or someone.

We just need someone heroic enough

to tell us what they know.

I know certain people might feel threatened,

but you can talk to me.

So, come on, there must be something you can tell me.

Okay.

If it'll help Brianna.

She snuck out to a spot that we'd been to before.

She said that she wanted to be with me,

but she was afraid of what her boyfriend might do.

I told her I understood.

He'd threatened me before, told me that

if I came around there again, he'd kill me.

He stepped out, screaming, "Slut, whore, bitch,

I'll kill you!"

Rushed us, punched me in the jaw.

I don't know how he found us.

In the end, she chose to go with her boyfriend.

What could I do? I had to respect her wishes.

Did you confront him even though he threatened you?

Faint heart never won fair lady.

So, between the threats, reckless driving,

and physical assault, you never thought

to report any of this to the police?

Certain people

don't like to talk to the cops.

You wanna check on your partner? She's been gone a while.

Sorry about that.

- I'm here. - Did you hear any of that?

Ah, I overheard bits after "fair lady."

Where did this woman live?

Around Hollyway.

Where the road rage incidents have been.

And he ran you off the road?

Do you mind if we take a look at your car?

Good evening, officers.

What did my son do?

Nothing, as far as I can tell.

You said he ran you off the road?

Yes.

There's no mud or dirt.

Well, he didn't literally run me off the road.

It's just a figure of speech.

Just stopped his car in front of me.

- Okay. - What's that supposed to mean?

Okay means okay.

Don't mind Sherlock.

You're not under suspicion at the moment.

What's in the back of the car?

It's a barrel.

I work in a warehouse,

all right, and URIDE's just my side job.

I mean, they use me as a gopher sometimes.

We are looking for a missing young woman,

and you happen to have a young-woman-sized container

- in the back of your car. - Okay.

Okay, you guys can't come in here

without a warrant and start throwing accusations

at my son, especially when he has done nothing

but cooperate with both of you... in fact, Jesus,

don't answer any more of their questions.

If you're concerned with warrants,

we can get you a warrant.

Get a warrant.

If you're not the owner of the car,

then you do not have a say in whether or not we can search it.

Jesus.

Can we search your car?

I'm not gonna fight it.

- It's heavy. - Did you not drain the water?

So we can drown this puppy like the bitch that she is.

Um...

- I'm sorry to bother you folks. - Let us know

- if there's anything else. - Well, her friend Diane

said that she was confronted by her boyfriend as well.

I can give you her address.

- Okay. - Also, I had to show

Brianna something in the URIDE app,

so I had to touch her phone to do it.

Wanna give us that number?

What the fuck did you do to her?

Did you fucking kill her?

Absolutely not.

And shut the fuck up, the whole goddamn neighborhood's

gonna hear you.

I would've killed her, but you decided

to let the police in without even asking for

- a fucking warrant... - Hey, fuck you!

All right.

I'm done, I just saved you from the electrical chair,

and you wanna still act like you're better than me.

Do it yourself.

Woo! God, it's cold.

I'm telling you, Kaiden had "guilty"

written all over his face.

I don't think he's as innocent as he says,

but his pleas for us to help him seemed real.

You know you don't have shit.

Look.

A bad, thinly veiled story about a love triangle.

The woman rejects the hero, and doesn't even seem

like he realizes it.

When we were leaving, Jesus offered us an alibi

for his fingerprints, like...

Yeah, fingerprints that weren't even there,

'cause Kaiden kidnapped Brianna,

then he went back and messed with the evidence,

AKA the phone.

You got hoof prints, try looking for horses

before unicorns.

Help!

Can anyone hear me?

Help me!

Somebody help!

Help me!

Let me out!

You fucking freak!

Help.

Let me out!

Help, can anyone hear me?

Calm down, Brianna, just calm down.

- Please. - Let me out!

Can anyone hear me?

Help.

Help, help me!

It's over, asshole.

Where's Brianna?

Kaiden.

- I'm in here. - Hold on.

Kaiden, Kaiden!

Jesus.

I... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

No!

911, what's your emergency?

- Hello? - Yes, this is 911,

- what's your emergency? - Hi, yeah, I spoke with

Detective Clarkson about the man that was running Priuses

- off the road. - Have you come in contact

with the suspect?

Yeah, he followed me to my work.

Where do you work, sir?

I work at the warehouse off Temple Street.

- Is anyone injured? - Yeah, he...

he came at me.

He attacked me, and I had to defend myself.

Is the suspect armed?

- Sir? - Can you...

can you just please get down here?

I think his girlfriend's in danger.

Officers are on their way, sir.

Where is she?

It's over, Kaiden, Brianna's dead.

I'm gonna fucking kill you.

Yeah, well if you're gonna do it, you better do it now.

He's a murderer!

He fucking killed Brianna and put her

- in the fucking trunk! - You lying bastard!

- Sir, stay back. - Miguel,

- what the hell's going on here? - Some guy messed up Jesus.

Oh, man!

The one day he shows up early, too.

You know, this wouldn't have happened if I was here.

No one messes with my employees.

Yeah, except for el jefe.

Step back.

Well, got the bad guy.

You mean we're gonna book Jesus, too?

Why in the hell are you still chasing unicorns?

All of the evidence points to an honor-killing-style homicide.

It's just that Kaiden trips my lie detector.

You just have your own bias against the nice guy thing.

We'll go back to the station, review their surveillance tape,

and we'll show you I'm right.

I hope so.

Otherwise, Jesus just used the law as a weapon.

The King will answer and say to them,

- "To the extent..." - I really appreciate you coming.

"...that you did this for your fellow man,

- you did it to me." - I shouldn't be here.

As long as she had gone to our church,

Brianna had cared for the needs of others,

taking care of her father,

who was also taken from us too soon.

Though she had lost God,

she shall find Him in His kingdom.

- Amen. - Amen.

I'd like to ask Brianna's friend Diane,

come please, say a few words.

I love Brianna.

I can't bring myself to say it

in the past tense.

To know Brianna is to have

an understanding friend,

a forgiving friend.

She saw past people's faults,

and loved everyone wholeheartedly.

I can't give everyone here

consolation for their grief.

What I can offer you

is the certainty of justice.

The man who did this is gone.

There's nothing in this tape.

Fuck.

He will rot in prison,

not because we are cruel people,

but because there is one basic rule

to a safe society.

A civilization

is where the biggest psychopath doesn't get to win.

We are only as safe as long

as evil deeds have consequences.

It is our responsibility

to not play along with evil,

enable evil, or join evil,

or let it tempt us with our desire.

If we can still pick what is right for others

over what we want for ourselves...

...then there is still hope.

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull