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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,049 Afterwards, he says, 2 00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:33,843 they always embrace. 3 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:39,640 The animal digs his sweaty brow into his cheek, 4 00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:42,685 and they stand in the dark for an hour, 5 00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:45,563 like a necking couple. 6 00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:49,776 And of all nonsensical things, 7 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:52,528 I keep thinking about the horse, 8 00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:54,655 not the boy, 9 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,115 the horse, 10 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,868 and what he might be trying to do. 11 00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,871 I keep seeing the huge head, 12 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,373 kissing him with its chained mouth, 13 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,666 nudging, through the metal, 14 00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:08,252 some desire absolutely irrelevant 15 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:11,714 to filling its belly or propagating its own kind. 16 00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:15,510 What desire could this be? 17 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:18,179 Not to stay a horse any longer? 18 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:20,515 Not to remain reined up forever, 19 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:23,392 in those particular genetic strings? 20 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,772 Is it possible, at certain moments we cannot imagine, 21 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:30,107 a horse can add its sufferings together, 22 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:33,402 the non-stop jerks and jabs 23 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,947 that are its daily life... 24 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,324 And turn them 25 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,284 into grief? 26 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,080 What use is grief... 27 00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:46,624 To a horse? 28 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:50,545 You see... 29 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:53,840 I'm lost. 30 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,010 What use, I should be asking, are questions like these 31 00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:02,306 to an overworked psychiatrist in a provincial hospital? 32 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,434 They're worse than useless. 33 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,562 They are, in fact, 34 00:03:07,646 --> 00:03:09,105 subversive. 35 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,442 The thing is... 36 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:18,698 I'm wearing that horse's head myself, 37 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:21,784 all reined up in old language and old assumptions, 38 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,578 straining to jump, clean-hooved, 39 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,079 onto a whole new track of being 40 00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:26,414 I only suspect is there. 41 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,291 I can't see it, because my educated, 42 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,167 average head is being held at the wrong angle. 43 00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:33,671 I can't jump, because the bit forbids it, and my own basic force, 44 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,381 my... 45 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:38,301 Horsepower, if you like... 46 00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:40,720 Is too little. 47 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,889 The only thing I know for sure, is this. 48 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:46,893 A horse's head is finally unknowable to me. 49 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,477 Yet I handle children's heads, 50 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,271 which I must presume to be more complicated, 51 00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,982 at least in the area of my chief concern. 52 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,861 In a way, it has nothing to do with this boy. 53 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,237 The doubts have been there for years, 54 00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:00,781 piling up steadily in this dreary place. 55 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,075 It's only the extremity of this case that's made them active. 56 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,161 I know that the extremity is the point. 57 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:06,913 All the same, whatever the reasons, 58 00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:09,248 these doubts are now not just vaguely worrying, 59 00:04:09,333 --> 00:04:11,751 but... but intolerable! 60 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,636 Forgive me. 61 00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,680 I'm not making much sense. 62 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,309 Let me start properly, in order. 63 00:04:30,646 --> 00:04:32,104 All right. 64 00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:35,316 Come on. Break it up. Come on! 65 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,611 ...Through this gate, into another field. I couldn't see it, 66 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:41,489 but I knew I had to get through that gate. If I could get through it, 67 00:04:41,573 --> 00:04:43,199 then that was it, I could see everything. 68 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,702 All right. All right. 69 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,666 Take one, Mary Ann. 70 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,042 I don't want one. 71 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,377 Mary Ann, come on. 72 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:57,129 Don't bother me. 73 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,965 You don't have to listen to them all the time. 74 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,883 Oh, I know, but, uh... 75 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,677 - Why not? - You want one, take one. 76 00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:03,928 Stop being so ignorant! 77 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,764 All right. All right, now. Settle down. 78 00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:07,848 ...Sucking it up? 79 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:11,352 That's no good. Shall we smash it? 80 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,478 - Yeah. - Yeah. 81 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:13,521 No. 82 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:14,605 No? 83 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:15,690 Come on, we'll smash it. 84 00:05:15,774 --> 00:05:17,566 No. 85 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,360 All right, now. Now pick up your right leg. 86 00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,278 No. 87 00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:22,446 Pick up your right leg, man. 88 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,323 Why? 89 00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:26,951 Because you'd please me a great deal if you did. 90 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,452 I said, "No"! 91 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,750 Come on. Up. 92 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,628 Now scream! Jab it! Louder. Go on! 93 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:43,968 Scream! Scream! 94 00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:46,679 That's it. 95 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:49,432 It began one Monday, some months ago, 96 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,684 with Hesther's visit. 97 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,353 Martin, I'm sorry. I should have called first, I know. 98 00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:56,689 Not at all. You're a welcome relief. 99 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:57,773 Have a filthy coffee? 100 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:58,983 No, please, no. 101 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,693 It's really rather urgent. 102 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:01,902 Take a couch. 103 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:05,156 Martin, I've just come from the most shocking case I ever tried. 104 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:08,367 My fellow magistrates wanted to send him to prison on the spot. 105 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:10,411 I mean, luckily, I got him remanded for a report. 106 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:11,495 Who's he? 107 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:13,080 A teenager. The name's Strang. 108 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,290 Ah. 109 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:17,543 What's he done? Dosed some little girl's Pepsi with Spanish fly? 110 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:20,963 What could possibly have thrown your court into such tory convulsions? 111 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,049 He... 112 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,928 Blinded 6 horses with a metal spike. 113 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,141 - Blinded? - Yes. 114 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:33,976 All at once, or over a period? 115 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,770 All at once, the night before last. 116 00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:36,854 Where? 117 00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:39,356 In a stable over at Chalk Ford. He worked there on weekends. 118 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:40,941 What did he say in court? 119 00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,485 Nothing. He just sang. 120 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,569 Sang? 121 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:46,697 Martin, you've simply got to take him here. 122 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:49,492 You think this hospital is suitable? How dangerous is he? 123 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,702 No, I mean, you, personally. 124 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,663 Now look, Hesther, before you say anything else, 125 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,874 I can take no more patients at the moment. 126 00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,417 I can't even cope with the ones I have. 127 00:06:58,502 --> 00:06:59,752 - You must. - Why? 128 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,089 Thank you. Oh, for... damn! 129 00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,346 Hello, Pat? 130 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,598 Yes. Now, my advice is, cancel her leave for a month. 131 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:15,559 See what difference that makes to her dad. Yes, exactly. 132 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:17,436 Now, why? 133 00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:20,231 Because there's no one else within 100 miles of that desk 134 00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,900 who can handle him, and perhaps understand 135 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,443 what this is all about. 136 00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,278 The regular hospital will be useless, 137 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,114 and so will the other doctors here. 138 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,782 That's an absolutely unwarrantable statement. 139 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:30,825 Well, it's true. 140 00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:32,493 They'll be very cool and professional, 141 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,287 and underneath, they'll be disgusted and immovably English, 142 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,081 just like my court. 143 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,624 Well, what am I? Polynesian? 144 00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,292 Please, Martin. 145 00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,294 This is the last favor I'll ever ask of you. 146 00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,463 - No, it's not. - No, it's not. 147 00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:47,883 I mean, he's obviously abominable. I know that already. 148 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:52,221 Why me? Why, Hesther? 149 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,100 'Cause there's something extraordinary about him. 150 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,226 In what way? 151 00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,645 Terrible, if you like. 152 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,272 I don't quite know what I'm saying. I'm... 153 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,566 Just knew I had to come here. 154 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:07,027 Take him, Martin. It's very important. 155 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,451 What did I expect of him? 156 00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:16,662 Very little, I promise you. 157 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,330 One more dented little face. 158 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,749 One more adolescent freak. 159 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,918 The usual unusual. 160 00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:25,754 Now, this room will be completely yours. 161 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,424 No one will come in without your say so. 162 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,718 There's a bell if you need anything. 163 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:34,180 There's a lavatory down the corridor, 2nd door on the left. 164 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,811 I think this is one of the nicest rooms 165 00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:42,980 in the whole place. Don't you, Mr. Pearce? 166 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,565 Absolutely. 167 00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:52,907 Sometimes, I blame Hesther. 168 00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,784 She brought him to me. 169 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,494 But of course, that's nonsense. 170 00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,038 What is he but a last straw? 171 00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:01,123 A last symbol. That's all. 172 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:06,253 I was ripe for the confrontation. 173 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:07,546 Alan Strang, Doctor. 174 00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:08,964 Ah, thank you. 175 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,133 Hello. 176 00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:15,304 My name's, uh, Martin. Yours is Alan. 177 00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:19,642 Won't you sit down? 178 00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:22,978 For today, I just want a few simple facts. 179 00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:27,149 Uh, is... is this your full name? 180 00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:28,692 Alan Strang? 181 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,947 And you're 17, is that right? 17? 182 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:40,496 You work in an electrical shop during the week. 183 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,790 Electrical and kitchenware. 184 00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:46,001 Well? 185 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,753 Double Your Pleasure Double your fun 186 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:50,172 With Double-good, Double-good doublemint gum 187 00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:53,092 Yes. 188 00:09:53,176 --> 00:09:56,387 Now let's see, you live with your parents, and your father's a printer. 189 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:57,888 What sort of things does he print? 190 00:09:57,973 --> 00:09:59,598 Double Your Pleasure Double your fun 191 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,767 With Double-good, Double-good doublemint gum 192 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,436 I mean, does he do leaflets, calendars? Things like that? 193 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,772 Try the taste of martini 194 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:09,233 The most beautiful drink in the world 195 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:13,487 It's the bright one The right one, that's martini 196 00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,948 I wish you'd sit down if you're going to sing. 197 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,241 Don't you think you'd be more comfortable? 198 00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,285 There's only one "T" in typhoo 199 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,120 In packets and in teabags, too 200 00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,914 Any way you make it You'll know that it's true 201 00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:26,125 There's only one "T" in typhoo 202 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,585 That's a good song. 203 00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:31,130 I like that better than the other two. Sing that one again. 204 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:34,425 Double Your Pleasure Double your fun 205 00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,552 With Double-good, Double-good 206 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,687 Now, listen. 207 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:50,691 This is not a loony bin. It's not a prison. 208 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:51,817 If you behave yourself, 209 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,361 you'll have a reasonably all right time. 210 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:57,156 If you don't, you'll be packed off to a mental hospital, 211 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,867 and you'll find things much more restricted. 212 00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:02,077 So it's up to you. 213 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,163 You'll be seeing me every day. 214 00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:07,916 Your session will last exactly 45 minutes. 215 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:11,670 And I expect you to be absolutely on time. All right? 216 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,094 By the way... 217 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:22,681 Which of your parents is it who won't allow you to watch television? 218 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,477 Mother? 219 00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,437 Father? 220 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,482 Or is it both? 221 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,818 Come in, David. 222 00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:38,447 Uh, take Strang, here, on a tour of the... 223 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,616 Hospital, before lunch. 224 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,117 You'll find it quite pleasant. 225 00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,702 There's a piano room, 226 00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:45,788 a darkroom for photographers, 227 00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:48,957 even a television room. 228 00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:57,466 3 nights later, I had this very specific dream. 229 00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,469 In it, I am a chief priest in Homeric Greece. 230 00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:04,598 I'm wearing a wide gold mask, all noble and bearded, 231 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:08,894 like the so-called mask of Agamemnon, found at Mycenae. 232 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:12,272 I'm standing by a thick, round stone, holding a sharp knife. 233 00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:14,566 In fact, I'm officiating in some 234 00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:16,735 immensely important ritual sacrifice 235 00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,404 on which depends the fate of the crops, 236 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,323 or of a military expedition. 237 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,326 The sacrifice is a herd of children, 238 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,162 about 500 boys and girls stretching in a long queue, 239 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:28,580 across the plain of Argos. 240 00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:31,041 I know it's Argos, because of the red soil. 241 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:35,462 On either side of me stand two assistant priests, 242 00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:36,547 wearing masks as well... 243 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,298 Lumpy, pop-eyed masks, 244 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:40,676 such as were also found at Mycenae. 245 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,219 They're enormously strong, these priests, 246 00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,762 and absolutely tireless. 247 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,431 As each child steps forward, 248 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:48,434 they grab it from behind and throw it over the stone. 249 00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,768 Then, with a surgical skill 250 00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:52,521 that amazes even me, I fit in the knife, 251 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:55,107 and slice elegantly down to the navel, 252 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:58,026 just like a seamstress following a pattern. 253 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,988 I part the flaps, sever the inner tubes, 254 00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:04,783 yank them out and throw them, hot and steaming, on the floor. 255 00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,244 The other two then study the patterns they make, 256 00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:09,663 as if they're reading hieroglyphics. 257 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:12,124 It's obvious to me that I'm tops, 258 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,500 as chief priest. 259 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:17,713 It's this unique talent for carving that's got me where I am. 260 00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,967 The only thing is, 261 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,969 unknown to the others, 262 00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:27,055 I'm beginning to feel distinctly nauseous. 263 00:13:27,182 --> 00:13:29,141 And with each victim, it's getting worse. 264 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,102 My face is going green behind the mask. 265 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,397 Of course, I redouble my efforts to look professional, 266 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:37,316 cutting and snipping for all I'm worth, 267 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,067 mainly because I know that if those two others 268 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,153 so much as suspect my distress, 269 00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:44,448 and the implied doubt that this repetitive and smelly work 270 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,158 is doing any social good at all, 271 00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:49,411 then I'd be next over the stone. 272 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:54,041 And then, of course, the damn mask begins to slip. 273 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,377 The priests both turn and look at it. 274 00:13:57,462 --> 00:14:00,047 Their gold pop-eyes suddenly fill with blood. 275 00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:03,675 They tear the knife from my hand, and I... 276 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,513 I wake up. 277 00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,233 Mrs. Strang, 278 00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:21,777 have you any idea how this could have occurred? 279 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:25,030 No, Doctor. It's all so unbelievable. 280 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:28,242 Alan was always such a gentle boy. Always. 281 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:32,371 And he loves animals, especially horses. 282 00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:33,455 Thank you. 283 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,207 - Especially? - Yes. 284 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,502 He even has a picture of one, up in his bedroom. 285 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:40,462 His father gave it to him a few years ago, 286 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,047 off a calendar he'd had printed, 287 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,091 and the boy's never taken it down. 288 00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:48,095 And, uh, when he was, uh, seven or eight, 289 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:52,057 I used to have to read the same book to him, over and over again, 290 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,100 all about a horse. 291 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:54,184 Really? 292 00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,687 It was called prince, and no one could ride him. 293 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:02,317 You say he kept the picture of the horse in his bedroom? 294 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,485 Yes. 295 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,112 Could I see it? 296 00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:07,281 Yes. Oh, yes. Yes, of course. 297 00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:08,657 - Uh... - Thank you. 298 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,076 It's, uh... Uh, please, it's this way. 299 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,667 Uh, I do remember telling him one very odd thing. 300 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,919 Did you know, Doctor, that when the Christian cavalry 301 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,671 first appeared in the new world, 302 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,799 the pagans thought that horse and rider was one person? 303 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:28,051 - One person? - Yes. 304 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,054 Of course. 305 00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,849 Actually, they thought it must be a God. 306 00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,732 In here, please. 307 00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,859 This is Alan's room. 308 00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:09,384 Remarkable. 309 00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,510 Yes. 310 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:18,143 Mrs. Strang, is there... 311 00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:21,396 Anything else you can remember you told him about horses? 312 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:23,899 Anything at all? 313 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,902 Oh, well, they're in the Bible of course. 314 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:30,822 "He saith among the trumpets, ha-ha!" 315 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,033 "Ha-ha"? 316 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:34,701 The Book of Job. 317 00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,787 Such a noble passage. 318 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,664 Do you know it? 319 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,500 "Hast thou given the horse strength? 320 00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:44,544 "Hast thou clothed his neck with thunder? 321 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,924 "The glory of his nostrils is terrible. 322 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,343 "He saith among the trumpets, 323 00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,512 "Ha-Ha!" 324 00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,391 That's marvelous. 325 00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,267 Yes. 326 00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,896 Yes... Oh, there's Mr. Strang now. 327 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:10,779 Uh, Frank, I've got the doctor here. 328 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,823 We'll come down. 329 00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:15,242 Uh... 330 00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:17,411 He's very upset. 331 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,246 You understand, of course? 332 00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:28,422 Uh, this is Dr. Dysart, dear. 333 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,757 Mr. Strang. How do you do? 334 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,804 I was just telling Dr. Dysart, dear, 335 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,473 how... how Alan always adored horses. 336 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,058 Oh, yes? 337 00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:43,603 Yeah, in fact, we've always been a very horsey family. 338 00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:46,481 Uh, well, uh, my side of it has. 339 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,985 Uh, my uncle used to ride every morning on the downs behind Brighton, 340 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:53,697 all dressed up in a bowler hat and jodhpurs. He used to look splendid. 341 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:57,075 Uh, "indulging in equitation," he called it. 342 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,577 Uh, I remember telling Alan 343 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,996 how that word came from "equus." 344 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,581 "Equus"? 345 00:18:02,665 --> 00:18:04,124 The Latin word for "horse." 346 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,208 Oh, yeah. 347 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:08,086 Alan was absolutely fascinated by that word, I know. 348 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:12,549 I suppose because he'd never come across one with two "u"s together before. 349 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:15,677 My dear, have you offered the doctor a cup of tea? 350 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:19,556 Oh, no, no, dear, I haven't. Oh. 351 00:18:20,183 --> 00:18:22,642 You must be dying for one. Excuse me. 352 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,110 Oh, yes. 353 00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:34,488 My, uh, 354 00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,281 my wife has, uh, 355 00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:39,326 romantic ideas, if you receive my meaning. 356 00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:41,203 About her family? 357 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,497 Yes. She thinks she married beneath her. 358 00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:47,334 I dare say, she did. I don't understand these things myself. 359 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,128 Would you say that she's closer to the boy than you are? 360 00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:53,048 Oh, they've always been as thick as thieves. 361 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:56,426 I can't say I entirely approve... 362 00:18:57,929 --> 00:19:00,430 Especially when I hear her reading that Bible to him, 363 00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:02,349 night after night, up there in his room. 364 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,768 You mean, she's, uh, religious? 365 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,062 Some might say excessively so. 366 00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:10,357 Mind you, that is her business, but, uh... 367 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,318 When it comes to dosing it down the boy's throat, 368 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,862 well, frankly, he's my son as well as hers. 369 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:17,280 Bloody religion. 370 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,700 Well, it's our only real problem in this house, 371 00:19:20,785 --> 00:19:22,661 but I... it's insuperable. I don't mind admitting it. 372 00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:25,580 You must excuse my husband, Doctor. 373 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:29,334 This one subject is something of an obsession with him. 374 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,169 Isn't it, dear? You must admit. 375 00:19:31,254 --> 00:19:33,880 Call it what you like. All that stuff, to me, is just bad sex. 376 00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:36,174 What has that got to do with Alan? 377 00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:38,176 Everything. Everything, Dora. 378 00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,804 I don't understand. What are you saying? 379 00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:50,438 Mr. Strang, exactly how informed 380 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,774 would you judge your son to be, about sex? 381 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:55,902 I don't know. 382 00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:58,488 You didn't actually instruct him yourself? 383 00:20:00,658 --> 00:20:02,409 Well, not in so many words, no. 384 00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:05,120 Uh, did you, Mrs. Strang? 385 00:20:05,288 --> 00:20:08,290 Well, I spoke a little. Yes, I had to. 386 00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:10,041 Oh, let me help you. 387 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,043 Uh, what sort of things did you tell him? 388 00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:13,962 I'm sorry if this is embarrassing. 389 00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:18,133 Uh, I told him the biological facts. 390 00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:21,303 But I also told him what I believed, 391 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:25,974 that sex is not just a biological matter, but a spiritual one as well, 392 00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:30,145 that if God willed, he would fall in love one day. 393 00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:31,521 Uh, sugar? 394 00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:32,606 Yes, thank you. 395 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:35,817 Uh, that his task was to prepare himself 396 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,486 for the most important happening of his life. 397 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,405 And after that, if he was lucky, 398 00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,741 he would come to know a higher love, still. 399 00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,747 There, now. There, now, Dora. Dora, it's all right. Come on. 400 00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:51,458 Oh, God. Laugh. Laugh, as usual. 401 00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:53,293 No one is laughing, Dora. 402 00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:55,253 Dora. 403 00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:04,554 Equus. 404 00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:06,014 Eh... 405 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:10,602 Equus! 406 00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:11,811 Equus! Equus! 407 00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,939 Eq... Equus! Equus! 408 00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:15,273 Equus! 409 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:30,038 Suddenly, I realized whose face I'd seen in my dream. 410 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,667 On every victim across the stone, 411 00:21:34,377 --> 00:21:36,628 it was his stare accusing me. 412 00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,005 But what of? 413 00:21:59,902 --> 00:22:01,403 Well... 414 00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:05,532 How are you this morning? 415 00:22:05,741 --> 00:22:09,577 Sorry if I gave you a start last night, I... 416 00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,497 I was collecting some papers from my office, 417 00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:15,291 and I thought I'd look in on you. 418 00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:28,179 Do you dream often? 419 00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:32,767 Do you? 420 00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:35,854 It's my job to ask the questions, yours to answer them. 421 00:22:35,938 --> 00:22:38,523 - Says who? - Says me. 422 00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:40,442 Do you dream often? 423 00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:42,110 Do you? 424 00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:43,194 Now, look, Alan... 425 00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:44,779 I'll answer if you answer. 426 00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:46,656 In turns. 427 00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:49,993 Very well. 428 00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:51,703 Only, we have to speak the truth. 429 00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:53,329 Very well. 430 00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:54,706 So. 431 00:22:55,624 --> 00:22:56,791 Do you dream often? 432 00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,293 Yes. 433 00:22:58,377 --> 00:23:00,462 - Do you? - Yes. 434 00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:03,089 Do you have a special dream? 435 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:04,507 No. 436 00:23:05,134 --> 00:23:06,551 Do you? 437 00:23:07,470 --> 00:23:10,847 Yes. What was your dream about last night? 438 00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:11,890 Can't remember. What's yours about? 439 00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:12,974 I said, the truth. 440 00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:16,561 That is the truth. What's yours about? The special one. 441 00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:19,481 Carving up children. 442 00:23:21,442 --> 00:23:22,942 It's my turn. 443 00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:27,614 What is your first memory of a horse? 444 00:23:28,657 --> 00:23:30,283 I can't remember. 445 00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:34,913 You have no recollection of the first time you ever noticed a horse? 446 00:23:34,997 --> 00:23:37,290 I just told you. It's my turn. 447 00:23:37,374 --> 00:23:38,833 All right. 448 00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:41,127 Are you married? 449 00:23:42,004 --> 00:23:43,254 I am. 450 00:23:43,839 --> 00:23:45,340 Is she a doctor, too? 451 00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:46,925 My turn. 452 00:23:49,428 --> 00:23:50,678 What, uh... 453 00:23:53,057 --> 00:23:55,725 What is, uh, "Eq"? 454 00:23:57,853 --> 00:23:59,604 You shouted it out in your sleep last night. 455 00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:02,357 I thought perhaps you might like to talk about it. 456 00:24:03,818 --> 00:24:07,195 Plop, plop, fizz, fizz 457 00:24:07,655 --> 00:24:10,448 Oh, what a relief it is 458 00:24:10,991 --> 00:24:12,075 Plop, plop 459 00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:15,370 Come on now, Alan, you can do better than that. 460 00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:19,499 So, Double Your pleasure double your fun 461 00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:24,129 You Can Double Everything Rolled into one, one 462 00:24:25,881 --> 00:24:27,715 All right, good morning. 463 00:24:31,554 --> 00:24:32,554 What do you mean? 464 00:24:33,764 --> 00:24:35,223 We're finished for today. 465 00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:37,851 Only had five minutes. 466 00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:40,061 Too bad. 467 00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:46,359 Didn't you hear me? I said, "Good morning." 468 00:24:46,443 --> 00:24:47,485 Well, that's not fair. 469 00:24:47,570 --> 00:24:49,487 - No? - No. 470 00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:51,990 The government pays you £50 an hour to see me. 471 00:24:52,074 --> 00:24:53,241 I know, I heard, downstairs. 472 00:24:53,784 --> 00:24:55,451 So, go back downstairs and hear some more. 473 00:24:56,287 --> 00:24:57,871 That's not fair. 474 00:24:58,581 --> 00:25:00,123 You're a swizz. 475 00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:03,001 Bloody swizz! Swizz! 476 00:25:03,127 --> 00:25:04,335 Do I have to call a nurse? 477 00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:05,753 She puts a finger on me, and I'll bash her. 478 00:25:06,130 --> 00:25:09,382 She'll bash you a damn sight harder, I can assure you of that. 479 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:10,842 Now, go. 480 00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:40,288 On a beach. 481 00:25:40,372 --> 00:25:41,539 What? 482 00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:42,999 Where I first saw a horse. 483 00:25:44,126 --> 00:25:45,168 Sod. 484 00:25:48,464 --> 00:25:49,797 How old were you? 485 00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:52,508 How should I know? Six. 486 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:55,720 What were you doing there? 487 00:25:55,804 --> 00:25:57,096 Nothing. 488 00:25:58,390 --> 00:25:59,807 Digging. 489 00:26:01,185 --> 00:26:02,560 Sandcastles? 490 00:26:02,645 --> 00:26:04,145 Well, what else? 491 00:26:06,982 --> 00:26:08,399 Go on. 492 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,787 That's a terrific castle. 493 00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:07,083 It must've taken a long time to build. 494 00:27:10,713 --> 00:27:14,007 You can stroke him if you like. He won't mind. 495 00:27:15,801 --> 00:27:19,762 His name's Trojan. Easy there, Troj. 496 00:27:19,847 --> 00:27:21,723 Easy, boy. 497 00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:23,224 Easy there, Trojan. 498 00:27:26,437 --> 00:27:30,315 Oh, you can hardly reach from down there. You want to come up? 499 00:27:38,032 --> 00:27:39,657 Come on, then. 500 00:27:41,577 --> 00:27:43,077 No, come round this side. 501 00:27:43,162 --> 00:27:45,330 You always mount a horse from the left. 502 00:27:45,414 --> 00:27:47,915 I'll give you a lift up, okay? 503 00:27:54,923 --> 00:27:56,632 Now, do nothing at all. 504 00:27:56,717 --> 00:27:58,593 Easy, boy! Easy! 505 00:27:59,928 --> 00:28:01,012 Don't be frightened, now. 506 00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:03,264 Hold on tight to his mane and grip with your knees. 507 00:28:03,349 --> 00:28:05,391 That's it. Come on, now. Let's go. 508 00:28:23,994 --> 00:28:25,870 Do you want to go faster? 509 00:28:27,206 --> 00:28:28,956 All you have to do is say, 510 00:28:29,083 --> 00:28:31,209 "Come on, Trojan, bear me away." 511 00:28:33,462 --> 00:28:34,754 Say it, then! 512 00:28:35,464 --> 00:28:36,923 Bear me away. 513 00:28:37,007 --> 00:28:38,383 I can't hear you. Say it! 514 00:28:40,761 --> 00:28:42,220 Bear me away! 515 00:28:42,304 --> 00:28:43,638 Come on, Trojan! 516 00:29:10,416 --> 00:29:11,916 Alan! 517 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,209 Alan! Alan! 518 00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:14,710 - Alan! - Alan! 519 00:29:17,673 --> 00:29:19,173 Alan! 520 00:29:19,299 --> 00:29:20,508 Alan! 521 00:29:21,301 --> 00:29:23,261 What... Come back here! 522 00:29:23,345 --> 00:29:24,429 Alan! 523 00:29:27,015 --> 00:29:29,267 Alan! Alan. Hey, you! 524 00:29:29,351 --> 00:29:30,685 Easy, boy, easy. 525 00:29:30,853 --> 00:29:32,186 What do you imagine you're doing? 526 00:29:32,271 --> 00:29:34,147 - Imagine? - What is my son doing up there? 527 00:29:34,231 --> 00:29:35,857 It's all right, Frank. He's not hurt, is he? 528 00:29:36,024 --> 00:29:37,275 Don't you think to ask permission 529 00:29:37,359 --> 00:29:38,568 before doing a thing stupid like that? 530 00:29:38,652 --> 00:29:39,777 It's lovely, Dad. 531 00:29:39,862 --> 00:29:41,863 The boy is perfectly safe. Please don't be hysterical! 532 00:29:41,947 --> 00:29:43,656 Don't you be la-de-da with me, young man. 533 00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:45,241 Come down, here, Alan, you heard what your mother said. 534 00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:46,367 No. 535 00:29:46,452 --> 00:29:47,827 - Come down here at once. - No. 536 00:29:47,911 --> 00:29:49,871 - Right this moment! I said, this moment! - No. 537 00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:51,038 Frank. 538 00:29:51,123 --> 00:29:52,123 Ugh! 539 00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:53,958 Watch it! Are you mad? 540 00:29:54,042 --> 00:29:55,001 Alan! 541 00:29:55,085 --> 00:29:56,711 Do you want to terrify the horse? 542 00:29:56,795 --> 00:29:58,171 You're a public menace, you know that? 543 00:29:58,255 --> 00:29:59,297 Easy, Trojan. 544 00:29:59,381 --> 00:30:01,716 How dare you pick up children and put them on dangerous animals! 545 00:30:01,967 --> 00:30:03,718 - Dangerous? - Frank, the boy's hurt. 546 00:30:03,802 --> 00:30:05,595 Look at his eyes, they're rolling. 547 00:30:05,679 --> 00:30:06,721 So are yours. 548 00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:10,141 Frank, he's cut himself. The boy's hurt. 549 00:30:10,225 --> 00:30:14,145 I'm not, I'm not! I'm not! 550 00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:16,689 I'm not, I'm not! I'm not! 551 00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:28,534 That's all I remember. 552 00:30:32,748 --> 00:30:34,165 And a lot, too. 553 00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:39,670 Thank you. 554 00:30:45,052 --> 00:30:46,427 Do you know... 555 00:30:52,768 --> 00:30:55,645 Do you know, I've... I've never been on a horse in my life? 556 00:30:55,729 --> 00:30:56,812 Nor me. 557 00:30:58,148 --> 00:30:59,899 You mean, since that? 558 00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:01,275 Yeah. 559 00:31:01,610 --> 00:31:03,027 Never? 560 00:31:03,737 --> 00:31:04,695 No. 561 00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:05,988 How come? 562 00:31:06,949 --> 00:31:08,032 I didn't care to. 563 00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:12,119 You mean to say, you never rode, even when you were at the stables? 564 00:31:12,788 --> 00:31:13,829 No. 565 00:31:13,914 --> 00:31:16,040 Wasn't that part of the job? 566 00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:17,792 No, didn't have to. 567 00:31:18,418 --> 00:31:21,587 Why not? Surely it would've been fun, after being cooped up in that shop all week. 568 00:31:21,964 --> 00:31:23,214 Just didn't care to, that's all. 569 00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:25,758 Anyway, it's my turn. I told you a secret, you tell me one. 570 00:31:30,472 --> 00:31:31,639 All right. 571 00:31:33,267 --> 00:31:34,934 There are patients who have things to tell me, 572 00:31:35,018 --> 00:31:37,061 but they're ashamed to... 573 00:31:37,145 --> 00:31:40,690 Say them to my face. What do you think I do about that? 574 00:31:40,816 --> 00:31:41,983 What? 575 00:31:43,235 --> 00:31:45,945 I give them this little tape recorder. 576 00:31:47,155 --> 00:31:49,907 They go off to another room, and they send the tape back through nurse. 577 00:31:49,992 --> 00:31:51,742 They don't have to listen to it with me. 578 00:31:51,827 --> 00:31:53,286 Stupid. 579 00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:57,748 Quite simple, really. You press this button and speak into this. 580 00:31:59,084 --> 00:32:01,836 Anyway, our time's up for today. I'll see you tomorrow. 581 00:32:02,421 --> 00:32:03,588 Maybe. 582 00:32:03,672 --> 00:32:04,630 Maybe? 583 00:32:04,715 --> 00:32:06,340 If I feel like it. 584 00:32:28,989 --> 00:32:30,698 Stupid. 585 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,853 I thought I'd go in tomorrow, 586 00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:02,980 and see the boy. 587 00:33:06,777 --> 00:33:08,319 Would you come? 588 00:33:13,742 --> 00:33:16,994 Frank, it's not right, your not... 589 00:33:20,290 --> 00:33:21,832 But you should. 590 00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:05,501 You've got to tell him. 591 00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:07,712 The doctor, I mean. 592 00:34:07,796 --> 00:34:09,630 He should know about that. 593 00:34:09,715 --> 00:34:10,881 You think it's important? 594 00:34:10,966 --> 00:34:12,591 Yes, I do. 595 00:34:12,676 --> 00:34:13,926 Why? 596 00:34:15,554 --> 00:34:17,471 Well, it just could be. 597 00:34:25,981 --> 00:34:28,899 It was sexy. That's what you want to know, isn't it? 598 00:34:41,663 --> 00:34:42,705 Hello? 599 00:34:42,789 --> 00:34:44,707 Hello, Doctor. I hope it's not too late. 600 00:34:44,791 --> 00:34:46,000 Uh, no, Mrs. Strang. 601 00:34:46,710 --> 00:34:49,587 Uh, no, it's just that, uh, Mr. Strang and I were talking, 602 00:34:49,671 --> 00:34:51,922 and we felt there was something you might want to know. 603 00:34:52,507 --> 00:34:54,967 Could I come and see you tomorrow? 604 00:34:55,802 --> 00:34:57,470 Why don't I come to see you? 605 00:34:58,472 --> 00:35:00,681 I'm talking about the beach, 606 00:35:00,807 --> 00:35:03,142 that time that I told you about. 607 00:35:05,353 --> 00:35:07,813 I was pushed forward on the horse. 608 00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:11,859 There was sweat on my legs from his neck. 609 00:35:12,778 --> 00:35:14,862 His sides were all warm... 610 00:35:16,031 --> 00:35:17,448 The smell... 611 00:35:18,575 --> 00:35:20,284 And turning him... 612 00:35:21,828 --> 00:35:24,663 All that power, going anywhere you wanted. 613 00:35:26,208 --> 00:35:27,833 And then, Dad... 614 00:35:40,597 --> 00:35:43,140 It's about the picture... 615 00:35:43,517 --> 00:35:45,059 Of the horse. 616 00:35:45,310 --> 00:35:47,937 Uh, the one on his bedroom wall? 617 00:35:48,897 --> 00:35:53,108 I'm afraid I... I didn't quite tell you all about it... last time. 618 00:35:53,735 --> 00:35:56,362 I didn't think it was that important. 619 00:35:56,905 --> 00:35:58,489 You see... 620 00:35:58,698 --> 00:36:02,451 It actually took the place of another kind of picture altogether. 621 00:36:02,577 --> 00:36:04,078 What kind? 622 00:36:04,746 --> 00:36:07,998 It was a reproduction of our Lord on his way to Calvary. 623 00:36:08,875 --> 00:36:12,586 Uh, Alan insisted on buying it with his own pocket money, 624 00:36:12,712 --> 00:36:16,590 and hanging it where he could see it, last thing at night. 625 00:36:17,050 --> 00:36:19,426 My husband was very displeased. 626 00:36:19,636 --> 00:36:22,721 And, to be fair, it is a little extreme. 627 00:36:23,515 --> 00:36:25,140 Then, one day, 628 00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:29,103 Mr. Strang and I had one of our tiffs about religion, 629 00:36:29,771 --> 00:36:31,730 and he went straight up the stairs, 630 00:36:31,815 --> 00:36:34,149 and tore it off the boy's wall. 631 00:36:34,609 --> 00:36:36,819 Alan went quite hysterical. 632 00:36:36,903 --> 00:36:39,446 He cried for days, without stopping. 633 00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:41,991 But he recovered when he was given the picture of the horse? 634 00:36:42,075 --> 00:36:43,576 Oh, yes. 635 00:36:43,660 --> 00:36:47,454 Uh, he hung it in exactly the same place. 636 00:36:48,373 --> 00:36:50,624 And we had no more of that awful weeping. 637 00:39:12,475 --> 00:39:13,892 Mr. Dalton? 638 00:39:15,020 --> 00:39:16,437 My name is Dysart. I'm a doctor. 639 00:39:16,813 --> 00:39:20,774 I'm dealing with Alan Strang. I mean, I'm treating Alan Strang. 640 00:39:21,609 --> 00:39:23,694 I know this is an intrusion, but I, 641 00:39:23,778 --> 00:39:25,654 I'd like to have a talk with you. 642 00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:28,615 I realize this must be difficult for you. 643 00:39:29,159 --> 00:39:30,367 Difficult? 644 00:39:30,952 --> 00:39:33,037 For lack of a word. 645 00:39:33,121 --> 00:39:36,248 If I had my way, that boy would be dead. 646 00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:38,751 I should have killed him that night. 647 00:39:38,835 --> 00:39:40,961 Of course, now you've got him in hospital. 648 00:39:41,129 --> 00:39:43,297 Private room, three meals a day, 649 00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:47,301 remedial therapy, ping-pong, basketwork. 650 00:39:48,178 --> 00:39:49,303 Hmph. 651 00:39:49,763 --> 00:39:51,597 - Mr. Dalton... - No, no, no. Quite right. 652 00:39:51,681 --> 00:39:53,682 We've got to be, uh, modern about it. 653 00:39:53,767 --> 00:39:57,144 After all, there are no criminals now. 654 00:39:57,854 --> 00:39:59,396 We're all capable of everything. 655 00:39:59,481 --> 00:40:01,440 I know. I've heard all about it. 656 00:40:01,524 --> 00:40:03,734 Forgive and forget... 657 00:40:03,860 --> 00:40:05,819 Two months ping-pong... 658 00:40:05,904 --> 00:40:07,988 He's paid his debt to society, eh? 659 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:20,501 Mr. Dalton? 660 00:40:21,419 --> 00:40:22,795 Damn you! 661 00:40:27,092 --> 00:40:29,176 I'm sorry, I can't help it. 662 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:31,595 I keep seeing it. 663 00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:33,639 Over and over, I see it. 664 00:40:33,723 --> 00:40:35,057 Jill's had a breakdown. 665 00:40:35,141 --> 00:40:37,059 - Jill? - The girl who worked for me. 666 00:40:37,143 --> 00:40:39,937 Complete and utter breakdown. She'll never get over it. 667 00:40:40,105 --> 00:40:41,396 Of course, she blames herself, 668 00:40:41,481 --> 00:40:43,440 being the one who brought him here to begin with. 669 00:40:43,525 --> 00:40:45,609 He was introduced to the stables by a girl? 670 00:40:45,693 --> 00:40:48,695 I just told you, didn't I? Jill, Jill Mason. 671 00:40:49,280 --> 00:40:52,116 Excuse me for being stupid, but was that his girlfriend? 672 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:53,617 How should I know? 673 00:40:53,701 --> 00:40:56,620 No, he met up with her somewhere, asked for a job. 674 00:40:56,704 --> 00:40:59,039 She told him to come and see me. 675 00:40:59,415 --> 00:41:00,958 Piss off now, will you? 676 00:41:01,042 --> 00:41:02,209 Yes, I'll be going. 677 00:41:03,002 --> 00:41:06,088 One thing, when he first appeared, did he seem at all peculiar? 678 00:41:06,172 --> 00:41:07,631 I mean, odd in any way? 679 00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:09,007 No. 680 00:41:09,509 --> 00:41:11,260 He did bloody good. 681 00:41:11,928 --> 00:41:14,555 He spent hours with the horses, cleaning and grooming, 682 00:41:14,639 --> 00:41:16,682 way over the call of duty. 683 00:41:17,809 --> 00:41:20,060 I thought he was a real find. 684 00:41:21,563 --> 00:41:22,980 Apparently, the whole time he worked for you, 685 00:41:23,064 --> 00:41:24,773 he never actually rode. 686 00:41:25,650 --> 00:41:26,775 That's true. 687 00:41:26,860 --> 00:41:28,360 Wasn't that peculiar? 688 00:41:28,444 --> 00:41:30,195 Certainly, if he didn't. 689 00:41:31,573 --> 00:41:32,739 What do you mean? 690 00:41:33,324 --> 00:41:36,201 I mean that, on and off, that whole year, 691 00:41:36,452 --> 00:41:37,953 I had the feeling 692 00:41:38,037 --> 00:41:40,080 the horses were being taken out at night. 693 00:41:41,291 --> 00:41:42,499 At night? 694 00:41:42,584 --> 00:41:44,418 Oh, just odd things I noticed. 695 00:41:45,044 --> 00:41:46,753 I mean... 696 00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:50,340 Too often, one or other of them would be sweaty first thing in the morning, 697 00:41:50,425 --> 00:41:53,010 when it wasn't sick. Very sweaty, too. 698 00:41:53,094 --> 00:41:55,179 And its stall wouldn't be nearly as mucky as it should be, 699 00:41:55,263 --> 00:41:57,097 if it had been in all night. 700 00:41:57,182 --> 00:42:00,893 Stupidly enough, I never paid much mind to it at the time. 701 00:42:00,977 --> 00:42:04,438 It wasn't until I realized I'd been hiring a loony 702 00:42:05,273 --> 00:42:08,275 that I came to wonder if he hadn't been riding 703 00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:09,943 all the time, behind our backs. 704 00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:18,744 All right, it's obviously just my fancy. 705 00:42:18,995 --> 00:42:20,787 This thing has shaken me so badly, 706 00:42:20,872 --> 00:42:23,081 I'm liable to believe anything. 707 00:42:25,668 --> 00:42:27,002 Why should anybody do that? 708 00:42:29,672 --> 00:42:32,090 Why should any boy prefer to go riding by himself at night, 709 00:42:32,175 --> 00:42:35,344 when he could go off with others during the day? 710 00:42:36,137 --> 00:42:37,971 Are you asking me? 711 00:42:38,056 --> 00:42:40,057 He's a loony, isn't he? 712 00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:57,157 This girl, Jill Mason, 713 00:42:57,242 --> 00:42:59,576 could you tell me where she lives? 714 00:42:59,661 --> 00:43:02,621 Her mother keeps a shop, a mile down the road. 715 00:43:02,705 --> 00:43:04,248 Sells the antiques. 716 00:43:05,041 --> 00:43:06,083 Thank you. 717 00:43:06,668 --> 00:43:08,335 You won't see her. 718 00:43:15,510 --> 00:43:17,219 And something else. 719 00:43:17,303 --> 00:43:20,764 When the horse first appeared, I looked up into his mouth. 720 00:43:20,848 --> 00:43:22,933 There was this chain in it. 721 00:43:25,687 --> 00:43:28,355 I said, "Does it hurt?" And he... 722 00:43:28,439 --> 00:43:30,315 The horse said... 723 00:43:59,429 --> 00:44:01,972 It was always the same, after that. 724 00:44:02,765 --> 00:44:05,183 Every time I heard one clop by, I had to run and see. 725 00:44:07,228 --> 00:44:09,021 Up a country lane... 726 00:44:10,690 --> 00:44:12,232 Anywhere... 727 00:44:17,030 --> 00:44:19,239 Just to watch their skins... 728 00:44:20,742 --> 00:44:22,993 And the way their necks twist. 729 00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:26,872 The sweat comes in the folds. 730 00:44:29,167 --> 00:44:31,126 Words like "reins," 731 00:44:31,711 --> 00:44:33,962 "stirrups," "flanks..." 732 00:44:34,047 --> 00:44:36,715 "Dashing his spurs against his charger's flanks..." 733 00:44:36,799 --> 00:44:39,051 Even those words made me... 734 00:44:40,053 --> 00:44:42,596 The way they give themselves to us. 735 00:44:43,222 --> 00:44:44,556 That was it, too. 736 00:44:47,018 --> 00:44:51,104 They could stamp us into bits anytime they wanted, and they don't. 737 00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:56,193 They just let themselves be turned on a string all day, absolutely humble. 738 00:44:57,820 --> 00:45:02,115 They give us all their strength, and we just give them stripes for it. 739 00:45:04,369 --> 00:45:06,119 They'll run forever. 740 00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,956 They'll gallop till they die, they will... 741 00:45:11,084 --> 00:45:13,126 If we don't say "stop." 742 00:45:15,296 --> 00:45:17,047 They live for us... 743 00:45:18,049 --> 00:45:19,591 Just for us... 744 00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:22,427 Their whole lives. 745 00:45:25,681 --> 00:45:27,933 Years, I've never told anyone. 746 00:45:29,310 --> 00:45:32,187 My mum wouldn't understand. She likes equitation, 747 00:45:32,271 --> 00:45:34,398 bowler hats, jodhpurs. 748 00:45:34,816 --> 00:45:36,858 My uncle dressed for the horses, she says. 749 00:45:36,943 --> 00:45:38,902 But what does that mean? 750 00:45:38,986 --> 00:45:40,070 Horse isn't dressed. 751 00:45:41,531 --> 00:45:42,781 It's naked. 752 00:45:42,865 --> 00:45:47,494 It's the most naked thing you ever saw, more than a dog, a cat, or anything. 753 00:45:47,578 --> 00:45:50,455 Even the brokenest-down old nag has got its life. 754 00:45:50,540 --> 00:45:53,375 Put a bowler hat on top of it... filthy. 755 00:45:53,459 --> 00:45:55,877 Putting them through their paces, bloody horse shows. 756 00:45:55,962 --> 00:45:57,629 How do they dare? 757 00:45:58,506 --> 00:46:00,632 No one understands. No one. 758 00:46:02,885 --> 00:46:05,470 Except cowboys. They do. 759 00:46:06,264 --> 00:46:10,851 But they're free. They just swing up, and it's nothing but miles of grass. 760 00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:14,813 I bet all cowboys are orphans. 761 00:46:15,231 --> 00:46:16,815 I bet they are. 762 00:46:17,692 --> 00:46:19,776 No one ever says to cowboys, 763 00:46:19,861 --> 00:46:21,778 "Receive my meaning" or God. 764 00:46:21,863 --> 00:46:25,740 "All the time, God sees you, Alan. God's got eyes everywhere." 765 00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:27,826 No, I'm not doing anymore, I hate this. 766 00:46:27,910 --> 00:46:29,703 You can whistle for anymore. I've had it. 767 00:46:38,504 --> 00:46:40,547 I'm very busy, you know. 768 00:46:40,631 --> 00:46:42,924 That's why I came to see you. 769 00:46:44,802 --> 00:46:47,220 Mr. Strang, is there something you're not telling me? 770 00:46:47,305 --> 00:46:48,638 What do you mean? 771 00:46:48,723 --> 00:46:52,809 The last time we met, you said that religion was at the bottom of all this. 772 00:46:52,894 --> 00:46:53,977 So it is. 773 00:46:54,061 --> 00:46:56,480 Well, just because his mother reads him the Bible? 774 00:46:56,564 --> 00:46:58,231 Night after night. 775 00:46:59,108 --> 00:47:00,150 Fifty years ago, 776 00:47:00,234 --> 00:47:04,070 that would've been considered proper conduct for a mother. 777 00:47:05,781 --> 00:47:07,574 Mr. Strang, I know I'm being impertinent. 778 00:47:07,658 --> 00:47:10,744 I'm prying, and I'm nosy. 779 00:47:13,039 --> 00:47:16,416 But if you want to help Alan, you've got to help me. 780 00:47:17,585 --> 00:47:19,878 Anything will do, Mr. Strang. 781 00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:22,464 Any bloody thing! 782 00:47:45,404 --> 00:47:47,364 Your wife told me about the picture. 783 00:47:47,448 --> 00:47:49,574 No, it's not that, it's... 784 00:47:52,954 --> 00:47:54,663 It's about that. 785 00:47:58,084 --> 00:47:59,668 But it's worse. 786 00:48:03,923 --> 00:48:08,301 I wanted to tell you the other day, but I couldn't in front of Dora. 787 00:48:08,386 --> 00:48:10,053 Maybe I should have. 788 00:48:10,137 --> 00:48:14,724 It might show her all that stuff leads to, she drills into the boy, behind my back. 789 00:48:14,809 --> 00:48:15,892 What kind of thing is it? 790 00:48:18,563 --> 00:48:19,813 It's something I witnessed. 791 00:48:19,897 --> 00:48:21,106 Where? 792 00:48:21,983 --> 00:48:23,233 At home, 793 00:48:23,609 --> 00:48:24,818 18 months ago. 794 00:48:26,529 --> 00:48:27,612 Go on. 795 00:48:28,864 --> 00:48:30,865 It was, uh, it was late. 796 00:48:32,493 --> 00:48:35,579 The boy had been in bed hours, or so I thought. 797 00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:37,330 Go on. 798 00:48:39,875 --> 00:48:42,168 As I came out of the bathroom, 799 00:48:43,504 --> 00:48:45,005 I heard... 800 00:48:45,881 --> 00:48:47,716 I heard the noise of this chanting. 801 00:48:48,968 --> 00:48:50,176 Chanting? 802 00:48:50,261 --> 00:48:51,344 Yes, you know. 803 00:48:52,179 --> 00:48:55,932 By the Bible, you know, one of those lists his mother was always reading to him. 804 00:48:56,017 --> 00:49:00,103 Those "begat, so and so, begat..." you know, genealogy. But, uh... 805 00:49:00,479 --> 00:49:02,856 What did Alan's list sound like? 806 00:49:03,524 --> 00:49:06,192 Well, I remember the sort of thing I... 807 00:49:07,945 --> 00:49:09,279 The first word I heard was... 808 00:49:09,614 --> 00:49:11,656 Prince. 809 00:49:12,533 --> 00:49:14,826 - Prince? - Yeah. 810 00:49:15,578 --> 00:49:17,621 Prince begat Prance. 811 00:49:19,248 --> 00:49:21,625 And Prance begat Prankus. 812 00:49:24,712 --> 00:49:27,047 And Prankus begat Flankus. 813 00:49:29,717 --> 00:49:31,718 And Flankus begat Spankus. 814 00:49:34,847 --> 00:49:38,850 And Spankus begat Spunkus the great, who lived threescore years. 815 00:49:42,063 --> 00:49:44,105 And Legwus begat Neckwus. 816 00:49:46,776 --> 00:49:49,778 And Neckwus begat Fleckwus, the king of spit. 817 00:49:54,241 --> 00:49:57,285 And Fleckwus spoke out of his chinkle-chankle. 818 00:49:57,495 --> 00:49:58,578 What? 819 00:49:58,954 --> 00:50:02,248 I'm sure that was the word. I've never forgotten it. 820 00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:04,042 "Chinkle-chankle." 821 00:50:05,961 --> 00:50:09,756 And he said "Behold, I give you Equus, my only begotten son." 822 00:50:11,842 --> 00:50:13,009 Equus? 823 00:50:13,260 --> 00:50:17,263 There's no doubt of that, he repeated that word several times. 824 00:50:17,348 --> 00:50:18,431 "Equus... 825 00:50:20,393 --> 00:50:22,268 "My only begotten son." 826 00:50:26,607 --> 00:50:27,941 And then... 827 00:50:28,442 --> 00:50:29,943 He took this... 828 00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:32,779 String, 829 00:50:34,532 --> 00:50:37,117 and he put it in his mouth, and... 830 00:50:39,245 --> 00:50:41,121 With his other hand... 831 00:50:43,207 --> 00:50:44,457 He picked up this... 832 00:50:46,711 --> 00:50:48,962 Coat hanger, this wooden coat hanger... 833 00:50:49,213 --> 00:50:51,840 Equus. 834 00:50:55,219 --> 00:50:56,928 And he... 835 00:51:00,641 --> 00:51:03,017 Equus. 836 00:51:05,146 --> 00:51:06,813 Equus. 837 00:51:46,812 --> 00:51:48,938 Well, you see why I... 838 00:51:49,023 --> 00:51:51,149 I couldn't tell his mother. 839 00:51:52,401 --> 00:51:56,029 Religion. Religion is the bottom of this, don't you see? 840 00:51:58,908 --> 00:52:00,450 Did you speak to him about it later? 841 00:52:02,912 --> 00:52:03,953 No. 842 00:52:04,663 --> 00:52:06,456 I can't speak about things like that, Doctor. 843 00:52:06,540 --> 00:52:08,458 It's not in my nature. 844 00:52:11,170 --> 00:52:12,337 No. 845 00:52:13,380 --> 00:52:14,798 I see that. 846 00:52:19,011 --> 00:52:20,595 Here, let me help you. 847 00:52:22,056 --> 00:52:23,389 Just run it under the tap. 848 00:52:23,474 --> 00:52:26,726 I must tell you that it's been an enormous help... 849 00:52:36,946 --> 00:52:39,030 Mr. Strang, is there... 850 00:52:39,573 --> 00:52:41,199 Something else? 851 00:52:41,408 --> 00:52:44,786 There is, actually. There's one... There's one thing. 852 00:52:45,496 --> 00:52:47,330 That night that he... 853 00:52:47,498 --> 00:52:49,582 That he did it, that, uh, 854 00:52:50,084 --> 00:52:53,169 that awful thing in the... in the stables... 855 00:52:54,922 --> 00:52:57,423 That night, he was out with a girl. 856 00:52:58,300 --> 00:52:59,425 How do you know that? 857 00:52:59,510 --> 00:53:01,761 Well, I just know, that's all. 858 00:53:01,846 --> 00:53:03,137 Was that girl Jill Mason? 859 00:53:03,222 --> 00:53:04,848 I don't know her name. 860 00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:06,349 Excuse me, Mr. Strang, what do you know? 861 00:53:06,433 --> 00:53:08,059 - I can't say anymore. - Mr. Strang... 862 00:53:08,143 --> 00:53:12,438 Ask him! Just ask him about taking a girl out that very night. It's... 863 00:53:17,820 --> 00:53:19,571 Thanks for the tape. It was excellent. 864 00:53:19,655 --> 00:53:21,906 Yeah, I'm not making anymore. 865 00:53:22,408 --> 00:53:24,325 One thing I didn't quite understand, you began to say something 866 00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:27,787 about the horse on the beach talking to you. 867 00:53:27,872 --> 00:53:30,039 Tsk. Stupid, horses don't talk. 868 00:53:30,124 --> 00:53:31,583 So I believe. 869 00:53:32,626 --> 00:53:34,586 I don't know what you mean. 870 00:53:34,670 --> 00:53:37,171 Never mind about that. Tell me something else. 871 00:53:37,256 --> 00:53:40,216 Who introduced you to the stable to begin with? 872 00:53:40,301 --> 00:53:41,843 Someone I met. 873 00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:44,262 Where? 874 00:53:45,139 --> 00:53:48,391 Hello, can I do something for you? 875 00:53:49,310 --> 00:53:50,518 No. 876 00:53:50,603 --> 00:53:54,188 You're always staring in here, aren't you? 877 00:53:54,273 --> 00:53:55,273 Me? 878 00:53:55,357 --> 00:53:58,067 Yes. Every day, at lunchtime. 879 00:53:58,319 --> 00:53:59,736 I've seen you. 880 00:53:59,820 --> 00:54:00,904 Not me. 881 00:54:01,322 --> 00:54:04,782 Course it's you. You looking for a job, or something? 882 00:54:05,159 --> 00:54:08,494 Is there one? I can only do weekends. 883 00:54:08,579 --> 00:54:11,623 That's when most people ride. We could use extra hands. 884 00:54:11,707 --> 00:54:12,916 It will mainly be mucking out. 885 00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,334 Oh, I don't mind. 886 00:54:15,127 --> 00:54:16,210 Please. 887 00:54:16,295 --> 00:54:19,255 Come up on Saturday. I'll introduce you to Mr. Dalton. 888 00:54:20,382 --> 00:54:21,841 And you went? 889 00:54:22,885 --> 00:54:24,177 Yeah. 890 00:55:47,928 --> 00:55:49,137 Hello! 891 00:55:50,806 --> 00:55:52,140 You came, then. 892 00:56:00,357 --> 00:56:04,402 Let's find Mr. Dalton. My name's Jill, by the way. What's yours? 893 00:56:06,697 --> 00:56:08,114 All riders are accompanied, madam. 894 00:56:08,198 --> 00:56:10,992 No riders are allowed out on their own. 895 00:56:11,577 --> 00:56:14,954 All right, I'll put her down for 3:00. What is the name, please? 896 00:56:15,956 --> 00:56:17,457 Mrs. Shawcross. 897 00:56:18,125 --> 00:56:19,876 Thank you. Goodbye. 898 00:56:21,128 --> 00:56:22,837 This is Alan Strang, Mr. Dalton. 899 00:56:22,921 --> 00:56:23,963 Oh? 900 00:56:25,132 --> 00:56:26,382 You ever worked in a stable before? 901 00:56:28,469 --> 00:56:31,012 - Can you ride? - No, I don't want to. 902 00:56:31,805 --> 00:56:33,598 It's not extra, you know. It comes with the job. 903 00:56:34,141 --> 00:56:36,350 No, I just want to work here. 904 00:56:36,435 --> 00:56:38,102 You like horses? 905 00:56:39,146 --> 00:56:41,314 Well, we can certainly use the help. 906 00:56:41,398 --> 00:56:43,858 There's enough work around here for six lads. 907 00:56:43,942 --> 00:56:47,361 Four quid a day. Saturdays and Sundays. All right? 908 00:56:47,446 --> 00:56:49,489 - Yes, sir. - Good. 909 00:56:50,324 --> 00:56:53,701 Now, I expect the place neat, dry and clean at all times. 910 00:56:54,328 --> 00:56:55,703 The main rule is, 911 00:56:55,788 --> 00:56:58,414 never pretend you know something when you don't. 912 00:56:59,166 --> 00:57:02,085 Actually, the main rule is, enjoy yourself. 913 00:57:02,169 --> 00:57:04,212 Remember, 7:30 on the dot. 914 00:57:05,464 --> 00:57:08,674 Horses don't oversleep, you know. See you later. 915 00:57:12,429 --> 00:57:15,473 This is Nugget. Come on, that's it. Yeah. 916 00:57:15,766 --> 00:57:18,226 Come on, come on. 917 00:57:18,977 --> 00:57:20,478 He's my favorite. 918 00:57:23,857 --> 00:57:25,233 This is a body brush. 919 00:57:26,193 --> 00:57:28,152 You use it with a currycomb. 920 00:57:28,237 --> 00:57:30,530 Now, you always groom the same way, 921 00:57:30,614 --> 00:57:32,698 from the ears, downwards. 922 00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:35,618 Don't be afraid to do it hard. 923 00:57:35,702 --> 00:57:38,955 The harder you do it, the more the horse loves it. 924 00:57:40,207 --> 00:57:42,959 Push it right through the coat, like this. 925 00:57:43,043 --> 00:57:46,212 Work towards the tail, and right through the coat. 926 00:57:46,922 --> 00:57:48,589 See how he loves it? 927 00:57:48,674 --> 00:57:51,551 Giving you a lovely massage, aren't I, boy? 928 00:57:53,011 --> 00:57:54,637 Here, you try. 929 00:58:05,274 --> 00:58:06,774 Nice and easy. 930 00:58:06,859 --> 00:58:08,359 Never rush. 931 00:58:09,778 --> 00:58:13,072 Work towards the tail, and right through the coat. 932 00:58:13,574 --> 00:58:14,907 That's it. 933 00:58:15,742 --> 00:58:17,243 Again. 934 00:58:20,914 --> 00:58:22,832 You've got a feel for it, I can tell. 935 00:58:22,916 --> 00:58:24,667 It's going to be fun teaching you. 936 00:58:24,751 --> 00:58:26,544 Jill! Jill! 937 00:58:26,628 --> 00:58:27,753 What? 938 00:58:27,838 --> 00:58:29,755 Mr. Dalton wants you, please. Right away. 939 00:58:29,840 --> 00:58:32,175 Keep that up for 15 minutes. Then do old trooper. 940 00:58:32,259 --> 00:58:33,426 See you later. 941 01:01:01,074 --> 01:01:04,035 All right, I'm off now. I'll be back after lunch. 942 01:01:04,161 --> 01:01:06,454 If anyone rings, just put it in the book. 943 01:01:06,538 --> 01:01:09,290 Two rides this afternoon. That's the lot. 944 01:01:14,046 --> 01:01:16,714 Was it good? Touching them? 945 01:01:18,091 --> 01:01:20,885 Must've been marvelous, being near them at last, 946 01:01:21,553 --> 01:01:24,597 making them fresh and glossy. 947 01:01:26,683 --> 01:01:27,725 Tell me, 948 01:01:28,852 --> 01:01:31,145 you worked at the stable every weekend? 949 01:01:31,438 --> 01:01:32,688 Yeah. 950 01:01:32,856 --> 01:01:35,483 You must have seen a lot of the girl. 951 01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:38,110 Tell me about her. Did you like her? 952 01:01:39,488 --> 01:01:42,406 - Come on, Alan, tell me. - All right. 953 01:01:42,616 --> 01:01:44,075 Was she friendly? 954 01:01:44,451 --> 01:01:45,659 Yes. 955 01:01:45,744 --> 01:01:46,744 Or standoffish? 956 01:01:46,828 --> 01:01:48,079 Yes. 957 01:01:48,163 --> 01:01:49,288 Well, which? 958 01:01:49,915 --> 01:01:50,956 What? 959 01:01:51,041 --> 01:01:52,166 Which was she? 960 01:01:55,295 --> 01:01:57,421 Tell me, did you, uh... 961 01:01:57,506 --> 01:01:59,548 Did you ever take her out? 962 01:02:00,300 --> 01:02:02,843 - Did you have dates with her? - What? 963 01:02:02,928 --> 01:02:03,928 Tell me if you did. 964 01:02:04,054 --> 01:02:05,388 "Tell me!" 965 01:02:05,472 --> 01:02:09,392 "Tell me, tell me, tell me" on and on. Standing there, nosy parker. 966 01:02:09,476 --> 01:02:12,228 That's all you are, a bloody nosy parker, just like my dad. 967 01:02:12,312 --> 01:02:14,355 "Answer this, answer that," never stop. 968 01:02:14,439 --> 01:02:15,564 - Well, I'm sorry. - All right. 969 01:02:15,649 --> 01:02:18,526 Well, now it's my turn. You tell me, answer me. 970 01:02:19,361 --> 01:02:20,403 We're not playing that game now. 971 01:02:20,487 --> 01:02:22,279 We're playing what I say. 972 01:02:23,490 --> 01:02:24,907 All right. 973 01:02:25,617 --> 01:02:26,659 What do you want to know? 974 01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:28,536 Do you have dates? 975 01:02:28,745 --> 01:02:29,954 I told you, I'm married. 976 01:02:30,038 --> 01:02:32,123 I know. Her name's Margaret, she's a dentist. 977 01:02:32,207 --> 01:02:33,541 You see? I found out. 978 01:02:34,418 --> 01:02:36,085 What made you go with her, then? 979 01:02:36,169 --> 01:02:38,712 Did you used to bite her hands when she did you in the chair? 980 01:02:39,089 --> 01:02:40,172 That's not very funny. 981 01:02:40,257 --> 01:02:41,757 Do you have girls behind her back? 982 01:02:41,842 --> 01:02:42,842 No. 983 01:02:42,968 --> 01:02:44,677 Then what? Do you fuck her? 984 01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:46,804 All right. 985 01:02:46,888 --> 01:02:48,806 Come on, tell me, tell me, tell me. 986 01:02:48,974 --> 01:02:50,224 - That's enough now. - I'll bet you don't. 987 01:02:50,308 --> 01:02:53,436 I bet you never touch her. You've got no kids, have you? 988 01:02:53,520 --> 01:02:55,312 Is that because you don't fuck? 989 01:02:56,022 --> 01:02:57,815 Go to your room. 990 01:02:57,941 --> 01:02:59,024 Quick march. 991 01:03:20,505 --> 01:03:22,506 Alan. 992 01:03:24,259 --> 01:03:25,801 Give me those cigarettes. 993 01:03:29,306 --> 01:03:30,890 Give them to me! 994 01:03:42,819 --> 01:03:44,028 Now go. 995 01:03:55,999 --> 01:03:57,625 Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. 996 01:03:57,709 --> 01:04:00,127 The boy's on the run, so he turns defensive. What am I, then? 997 01:04:00,212 --> 01:04:04,006 Wicked little bastard. He knew exactly what questions to try. 998 01:04:05,008 --> 01:04:06,509 Not that there's anything novel about that. 999 01:04:06,593 --> 01:04:08,636 Advanced neurotics can be dazzling at that game. 1000 01:04:08,720 --> 01:04:12,473 They aim unswervingly at your area of maximum vulnerability, 1001 01:04:14,643 --> 01:04:17,520 which is, I suppose, as good a way as any of describing Margaret. 1002 01:04:17,604 --> 01:04:19,146 Now, stop it. 1003 01:04:19,231 --> 01:04:20,523 Do I embarrass you? 1004 01:04:20,607 --> 01:04:22,316 I suspect you're about to. 1005 01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,193 My wife doesn't understand me, your honor. 1006 01:04:24,277 --> 01:04:26,195 Do you understand her? 1007 01:04:27,697 --> 01:04:28,739 No. 1008 01:04:29,658 --> 01:04:31,617 Obviously, I never did. 1009 01:04:32,536 --> 01:04:33,786 I'm sorry. 1010 01:04:35,580 --> 01:04:37,581 I never like to ask. 1011 01:04:37,666 --> 01:04:39,542 But I always imagined you weren't 1012 01:04:39,626 --> 01:04:41,085 exactly compatible. 1013 01:04:41,169 --> 01:04:43,546 We were. It actually worked for a bit. 1014 01:04:43,964 --> 01:04:45,339 I mean, for both of us. 1015 01:04:45,423 --> 01:04:47,675 She, for me, through a kind of... 1016 01:04:47,842 --> 01:04:49,093 Briskness, 1017 01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:52,054 a clear, redheaded, inaccessible briskness, 1018 01:04:52,138 --> 01:04:54,682 that kept me keyed up for months. 1019 01:04:54,766 --> 01:04:57,434 Mind you, if you're kinky for northern hygiene, which I am, 1020 01:04:57,519 --> 01:04:59,019 you can hardly find anything more compelling 1021 01:04:59,104 --> 01:05:00,229 than a Scottish lady dentist. 1022 01:05:00,313 --> 01:05:03,315 It's you who are wicked, you know. 1023 01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:04,567 Not at all. 1024 01:05:04,651 --> 01:05:08,237 She got exactly the same from me. Antiseptic proficiency. 1025 01:05:09,322 --> 01:05:11,156 I was like that in those days. 1026 01:05:11,324 --> 01:05:13,742 I see us in our wedding photograph, 1027 01:05:13,827 --> 01:05:16,078 Dr. And Dr. Macbrisk. 1028 01:05:16,871 --> 01:05:18,080 We were brisk in our wooing, 1029 01:05:18,164 --> 01:05:20,207 brisk in our wedding, brisk in our disappointment. 1030 01:05:20,292 --> 01:05:23,836 We turned from each other briskly into our separate surgeries, 1031 01:05:23,920 --> 01:05:25,588 and now, there's a nice, 1032 01:05:25,672 --> 01:05:27,172 brisk nothing. 1033 01:05:28,133 --> 01:05:30,342 You never had children, did you? 1034 01:05:33,763 --> 01:05:34,972 No. 1035 01:05:36,057 --> 01:05:38,017 We did not go in for them. 1036 01:05:41,021 --> 01:05:43,772 Instead she sits and knits things for orphans in some home she works with, 1037 01:05:43,857 --> 01:05:47,985 and I sit opposite turning over the pages of books on mythical Greece. 1038 01:05:48,069 --> 01:05:50,529 Mentally, we're in different parts of the world. 1039 01:05:50,614 --> 01:05:53,240 She's forever in some drizzly chapel of her own inheriting, 1040 01:05:53,325 --> 01:05:55,367 and I'm in some doric temple, 1041 01:05:55,452 --> 01:05:56,910 clouds tearing through the pillars, 1042 01:05:56,995 --> 01:05:58,954 eagles bearing prophesies out of the sky. 1043 01:05:59,039 --> 01:06:00,873 She finds all that repulsive. 1044 01:06:00,999 --> 01:06:03,792 All that my wife has ever taken from the Mediterranean, 1045 01:06:03,877 --> 01:06:06,962 from that whole, vast, intuitive culture, 1046 01:06:07,797 --> 01:06:09,923 are four bottles of Chianti to make into lamps, 1047 01:06:10,008 --> 01:06:13,552 and two China condiment donkeys labeled Sally and Pepe. 1048 01:06:14,638 --> 01:06:16,180 Now you're being cruel. 1049 01:06:27,567 --> 01:06:28,901 I wish... 1050 01:06:29,486 --> 01:06:32,363 There was somebody in this life I could show. 1051 01:06:32,447 --> 01:06:33,906 One... 1052 01:06:34,074 --> 01:06:37,534 Instinctive, absolutely unbrisk person that I could take to Greece, 1053 01:06:37,619 --> 01:06:41,789 and stand in front of certain shrines and sacred streams and say, 1054 01:06:43,458 --> 01:06:44,833 "Look, 1055 01:06:44,918 --> 01:06:47,711 "life is only comprehensible through 1,000 1056 01:06:47,796 --> 01:06:49,380 "local Gods. 1057 01:06:50,173 --> 01:06:52,966 "Not just the old, dead Gods, with names like Zeus, 1058 01:06:53,051 --> 01:06:56,011 "but living geniuses of place and person. 1059 01:06:56,930 --> 01:06:59,515 "Not just Greece, but modern England. 1060 01:06:59,599 --> 01:07:03,018 "Here, spirits of certain trees, 1061 01:07:03,103 --> 01:07:05,437 "of certain curves of brick wall, 1062 01:07:06,523 --> 01:07:08,524 "of certain fish-and-chip shops, if you like, 1063 01:07:08,608 --> 01:07:11,193 "and... and slate roofs, and 1064 01:07:11,277 --> 01:07:13,487 "frowns in people, slouches." 1065 01:07:14,656 --> 01:07:16,323 I'd say to them, 1066 01:07:17,117 --> 01:07:18,367 "Worship... 1067 01:07:19,285 --> 01:07:21,120 "All you can see... 1068 01:07:22,706 --> 01:07:24,623 "And more will appear." 1069 01:07:29,587 --> 01:07:30,713 This boy, 1070 01:07:31,631 --> 01:07:33,132 with his stare, 1071 01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:35,634 he's trying to save himself through me. 1072 01:07:37,846 --> 01:07:38,887 I'd say so. 1073 01:07:43,226 --> 01:07:45,477 What am I trying to do to him? 1074 01:07:45,770 --> 01:07:47,896 - Restore him. - To what? 1075 01:07:48,356 --> 01:07:49,690 A normal life. 1076 01:07:49,899 --> 01:07:51,150 Normal? 1077 01:07:51,401 --> 01:07:52,985 It still means something, you know. 1078 01:07:53,987 --> 01:07:56,405 You mean, a normal boy has one head. 1079 01:07:56,489 --> 01:07:58,073 A normal head has two ears. 1080 01:07:58,158 --> 01:07:59,658 - You know I don't... - Then what do you mean? 1081 01:07:59,743 --> 01:08:00,909 Oh, stop it. 1082 01:08:02,704 --> 01:08:03,954 I want to know. 1083 01:08:06,499 --> 01:08:07,791 Look, my dear, 1084 01:08:07,876 --> 01:08:11,044 you know what I mean by a normal smile in a child's eyes, 1085 01:08:11,129 --> 01:08:13,422 and one that isn't, don't you? 1086 01:08:14,382 --> 01:08:15,466 Yes. 1087 01:08:15,550 --> 01:08:18,469 Then we have a duty to that, surely, both of us. 1088 01:08:20,180 --> 01:08:21,680 Touche. 1089 01:08:22,265 --> 01:08:23,348 I'll talk to you. 1090 01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:24,892 Martin. 1091 01:08:27,729 --> 01:08:30,606 You're going through a rotten patch at the moment, I'm sorry. 1092 01:08:31,733 --> 01:08:34,568 I suppose one of the few things one can do 1093 01:08:34,652 --> 01:08:36,987 is simply hold on to priorities. 1094 01:08:37,322 --> 01:08:38,739 Such as? 1095 01:08:40,825 --> 01:08:42,618 Children before adults. 1096 01:08:43,578 --> 01:08:45,037 Things like that. 1097 01:08:47,707 --> 01:08:50,667 You're really quite splendid, you know that? 1098 01:08:50,752 --> 01:08:52,336 Famous for it. 1099 01:08:57,717 --> 01:08:59,134 All right. 1100 01:08:59,594 --> 01:09:03,138 The normal is the good smile in a child's eyes. 1101 01:09:06,142 --> 01:09:09,520 It's also the dead stare in a million adults. 1102 01:09:11,147 --> 01:09:13,106 Both sustains and kills, 1103 01:09:14,025 --> 01:09:15,400 like a God. 1104 01:09:16,361 --> 01:09:20,072 It is the ordinary made beautiful. It is also the average, 1105 01:09:20,156 --> 01:09:21,615 made lethal. 1106 01:09:23,910 --> 01:09:26,662 The normal is the indispensable, 1107 01:09:26,746 --> 01:09:28,872 murderous God of health. 1108 01:09:30,291 --> 01:09:33,252 And I am his priest. 1109 01:09:37,966 --> 01:09:40,676 I'm sorry about our row yesterday. 1110 01:09:41,302 --> 01:09:43,095 Yeah, it was stupid. 1111 01:09:43,763 --> 01:09:44,805 Yes. 1112 01:09:46,933 --> 01:09:48,225 Yes, it was. 1113 01:09:56,484 --> 01:09:58,777 Would you like to play a game? 1114 01:10:00,446 --> 01:10:01,780 What kind? 1115 01:10:02,615 --> 01:10:06,118 It's one I invented myself. It's called blink. 1116 01:10:06,202 --> 01:10:08,537 You fix your eyes on something, 1117 01:10:08,621 --> 01:10:10,831 say, that little stain on the wall over there, 1118 01:10:10,915 --> 01:10:13,375 and I tap my pencil on the desk. 1119 01:10:14,168 --> 01:10:17,796 First tap, you close your eyes. The second, you open. 1120 01:10:18,381 --> 01:10:21,466 Close, open, close, open, till I say "stop." 1121 01:10:23,177 --> 01:10:24,887 What's the point of that? 1122 01:10:24,971 --> 01:10:28,265 Well, relax you. Make it easier for you to talk. 1123 01:10:29,475 --> 01:10:31,059 Stupid. 1124 01:10:31,144 --> 01:10:33,312 Well, you don't have to if you don't want to. 1125 01:10:33,396 --> 01:10:35,731 I didn't say I didn't want to. 1126 01:10:35,815 --> 01:10:36,940 Well? 1127 01:10:38,192 --> 01:10:39,401 I don't mind. 1128 01:10:40,862 --> 01:10:42,237 All right. 1129 01:10:44,365 --> 01:10:46,658 Start watching that stain. 1130 01:10:46,826 --> 01:10:50,454 Now, put your hands by your side, your fingers open wide. 1131 01:10:50,997 --> 01:10:52,956 The thing to do is to... 1132 01:10:53,041 --> 01:10:54,833 Feel comfortable and relax, 1133 01:10:54,918 --> 01:10:56,376 absolutely. 1134 01:10:56,669 --> 01:10:58,462 You watching that stain? 1135 01:10:58,546 --> 01:10:59,630 Yeah. 1136 01:10:59,756 --> 01:11:00,839 Right. 1137 01:11:02,759 --> 01:11:05,761 Now try and make your mind as blank as possible. 1138 01:11:05,845 --> 01:11:06,929 That's not difficult. 1139 01:11:09,265 --> 01:11:10,849 No more talking. 1140 01:11:12,393 --> 01:11:14,686 First tap... close. 1141 01:11:14,771 --> 01:11:16,897 Second, open. Ready? 1142 01:11:32,038 --> 01:11:34,122 My tools are very delicate. 1143 01:11:35,708 --> 01:11:37,709 My compassion is honest. 1144 01:11:43,216 --> 01:11:46,718 I've honestly assisted children in this room. 1145 01:11:48,012 --> 01:11:51,223 I've talked away terrors, relieved many agonies. 1146 01:11:53,518 --> 01:11:55,227 But beyond question, 1147 01:11:56,104 --> 01:11:59,231 I have cut from them portions of individuality, 1148 01:11:59,315 --> 01:12:01,984 repugnant to this God, normal, 1149 01:12:02,068 --> 01:12:03,777 in all its aspects. 1150 01:12:06,197 --> 01:12:08,281 And at what length. 1151 01:12:08,658 --> 01:12:12,244 Sacrifices to Zeus took, at the most, 60 seconds each. 1152 01:12:14,247 --> 01:12:16,415 Sacrifices to the normal... 1153 01:12:17,250 --> 01:12:19,126 Can take as much as 1154 01:12:20,003 --> 01:12:21,420 60 months. 1155 01:12:34,767 --> 01:12:36,727 Can you hear me? 1156 01:12:39,188 --> 01:12:41,106 Can you speak normally? 1157 01:12:41,482 --> 01:12:43,400 Say "yes" if you can. 1158 01:12:43,776 --> 01:12:44,943 Yes. 1159 01:12:46,070 --> 01:12:47,320 Good. 1160 01:12:48,448 --> 01:12:50,198 Now raise your head. 1161 01:12:50,283 --> 01:12:51,783 Open your eyes. 1162 01:12:56,372 --> 01:12:57,748 Now, Alan, 1163 01:12:58,791 --> 01:13:02,127 when you wake up, you're going to remember everything you've told me. 1164 01:13:02,211 --> 01:13:03,420 Understand? 1165 01:13:03,504 --> 01:13:04,588 Yes. 1166 01:13:05,048 --> 01:13:07,966 Now, I want you to think back in time. 1167 01:13:08,051 --> 01:13:09,968 You're on that beach you told me about. 1168 01:13:10,344 --> 01:13:11,970 You're six. 1169 01:13:12,138 --> 01:13:16,141 Above you, staring down at you, is that great horse's head. 1170 01:13:16,851 --> 01:13:18,393 Can you see that? 1171 01:13:18,478 --> 01:13:19,811 Yes. 1172 01:13:20,730 --> 01:13:22,773 You ask him a question. 1173 01:13:24,067 --> 01:13:26,109 "Does the chain hurt?" 1174 01:13:26,194 --> 01:13:27,277 Yes. 1175 01:13:28,446 --> 01:13:30,155 Do you ask him aloud? 1176 01:13:30,573 --> 01:13:31,615 No. 1177 01:13:33,785 --> 01:13:36,119 And what does the horse say back? 1178 01:13:37,663 --> 01:13:38,872 "Yes." 1179 01:13:39,624 --> 01:13:41,208 What do you say? 1180 01:13:41,542 --> 01:13:43,210 "I'll take it out for you." 1181 01:13:43,294 --> 01:13:44,836 And he says? 1182 01:13:45,338 --> 01:13:47,672 "It never comes out. They have me in chains." 1183 01:13:48,216 --> 01:13:49,466 Like Jesus? 1184 01:13:49,717 --> 01:13:50,842 Yes. 1185 01:13:50,927 --> 01:13:53,261 Only, his name is not Jesus, is it? 1186 01:13:53,346 --> 01:13:54,387 No. 1187 01:13:55,389 --> 01:13:56,515 What is it? 1188 01:13:58,643 --> 01:14:00,685 It's Equus. 1189 01:14:00,812 --> 01:14:02,145 Equus. 1190 01:14:03,689 --> 01:14:06,525 Does he live in all horses, or just some? 1191 01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:07,776 All. 1192 01:14:09,362 --> 01:14:10,570 Good. 1193 01:14:11,405 --> 01:14:13,115 Now you leave the beach. 1194 01:14:13,199 --> 01:14:15,450 You're in your bedroom at home. 1195 01:14:15,535 --> 01:14:17,327 You're 12 years old. 1196 01:14:17,870 --> 01:14:20,997 You're looking at Equus from the foot of the bed. 1197 01:14:22,333 --> 01:14:24,626 Would you like to kneel down? 1198 01:14:25,253 --> 01:14:26,294 Yes. 1199 01:14:26,379 --> 01:14:27,629 Go on. 1200 01:14:33,177 --> 01:14:34,636 Now tell me, 1201 01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:36,721 why is Equus in chains? 1202 01:14:38,558 --> 01:14:40,225 For the sins of the world. 1203 01:14:40,309 --> 01:14:41,560 What does he say to you? 1204 01:14:41,644 --> 01:14:43,520 "I see you. 1205 01:14:43,604 --> 01:14:45,021 - "I will save you." - How? 1206 01:14:45,106 --> 01:14:47,524 "Bear you away, two shall be one." 1207 01:14:47,608 --> 01:14:50,443 Horse and rider should be one beast? 1208 01:14:50,528 --> 01:14:52,237 - "One person." - And? 1209 01:14:52,321 --> 01:14:55,699 "And my chinkle-chankle shall be in thy hand." 1210 01:14:55,783 --> 01:14:58,535 "Chinkle-chankle," that's his mouth chain? 1211 01:14:58,911 --> 01:15:00,162 Yes. 1212 01:15:01,706 --> 01:15:03,248 All right. 1213 01:15:03,332 --> 01:15:05,083 You can get up now. 1214 01:15:13,134 --> 01:15:14,259 Now tell me, 1215 01:15:15,344 --> 01:15:16,928 what is the stable? 1216 01:15:17,805 --> 01:15:20,765 His temple? His holy of holies? 1217 01:15:21,601 --> 01:15:22,642 Yes. 1218 01:15:23,060 --> 01:15:25,395 Will you wash him, and tend him, 1219 01:15:26,063 --> 01:15:28,356 and brush him with many brushes? 1220 01:15:28,441 --> 01:15:29,482 Yes. 1221 01:15:30,151 --> 01:15:33,028 And there he spoke to you, didn't he? 1222 01:15:34,113 --> 01:15:36,698 He looked at you with his gentle eyes 1223 01:15:36,782 --> 01:15:38,658 and he spoke unto you. 1224 01:15:39,327 --> 01:15:40,368 Yes. 1225 01:15:40,453 --> 01:15:42,621 What did he say? "Ride me? 1226 01:15:43,539 --> 01:15:45,332 "Mount me, and ride me forth at night"? 1227 01:15:45,416 --> 01:15:46,583 Yes. 1228 01:15:46,667 --> 01:15:48,627 - And you obeyed? - Yes. 1229 01:15:49,921 --> 01:15:52,339 How did you learn? By watching others? 1230 01:15:53,799 --> 01:15:54,966 Yes. 1231 01:15:55,051 --> 01:15:57,469 Must've been difficult. You bounced about? 1232 01:15:57,553 --> 01:15:58,929 Yes. 1233 01:15:59,013 --> 01:16:01,723 But he taught you, didn't he? Equus showed you the way. 1234 01:16:01,807 --> 01:16:02,807 No. 1235 01:16:02,892 --> 01:16:04,309 - He didn't? - He showed me nothing. 1236 01:16:04,393 --> 01:16:07,520 He's a mean bugger. Ride or fall, that's straw law. 1237 01:16:07,605 --> 01:16:08,605 Straw law? 1238 01:16:08,689 --> 01:16:12,651 he was born in the straw and this is his law 1239 01:16:13,486 --> 01:16:15,487 But... But you managed? You mastered him? 1240 01:16:15,571 --> 01:16:16,780 Had to. 1241 01:16:18,241 --> 01:16:20,325 And so you rode forth in secret? 1242 01:16:21,035 --> 01:16:23,119 - Yes. - How often? 1243 01:16:23,496 --> 01:16:26,248 Every three weeks. More, people would notice. 1244 01:16:26,332 --> 01:16:28,166 On a particular horse? 1245 01:16:29,043 --> 01:16:30,085 No. 1246 01:16:34,173 --> 01:16:35,423 Let's do it. 1247 01:16:36,425 --> 01:16:37,676 Let's go riding. 1248 01:16:38,219 --> 01:16:39,302 Now. 1249 01:16:40,513 --> 01:16:42,305 You're there now, 1250 01:16:42,431 --> 01:16:44,140 in front of the stable door. 1251 01:16:45,226 --> 01:16:46,726 Go on, open it. 1252 01:17:07,039 --> 01:17:08,581 Now go in. 1253 01:17:08,708 --> 01:17:12,377 Shh! Quietly now. Dalton may still be awake. 1254 01:17:12,586 --> 01:17:14,379 Quietly as possible. 1255 01:17:14,588 --> 01:17:16,214 That's a good boy. 1256 01:17:17,425 --> 01:17:19,050 Are you in yet? 1257 01:17:19,885 --> 01:17:20,969 Yes. 1258 01:17:21,220 --> 01:17:23,722 Can you see all the horses? 1259 01:17:23,931 --> 01:17:25,056 Yes. 1260 01:17:25,433 --> 01:17:27,726 Which one are you going to take? 1261 01:17:31,397 --> 01:17:32,439 Nugget. 1262 01:17:34,859 --> 01:17:37,277 What do you do, first thing? 1263 01:17:38,070 --> 01:17:39,988 Put on his sandals. 1264 01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:42,198 The sandals of majesty. 1265 01:17:43,701 --> 01:17:45,076 Made of sack. 1266 01:17:47,496 --> 01:17:48,788 And then? 1267 01:17:50,291 --> 01:17:51,916 Chinkle-chankle. 1268 01:17:53,336 --> 01:17:55,378 He doesn't like it so late. 1269 01:17:56,297 --> 01:17:58,965 But he takes it for my sake. 1270 01:17:59,467 --> 01:18:00,967 He bends for me, 1271 01:18:01,093 --> 01:18:03,428 stretches forth his neck unto it. 1272 01:18:05,431 --> 01:18:06,765 And then? 1273 01:18:07,850 --> 01:18:09,392 Buckle, 1274 01:18:10,269 --> 01:18:11,895 and lead out. 1275 01:18:12,521 --> 01:18:13,897 No saddle? 1276 01:18:16,192 --> 01:18:17,442 Never. 1277 01:18:20,571 --> 01:18:22,113 Where are you now? 1278 01:18:25,159 --> 01:18:26,534 The path. 1279 01:18:28,621 --> 01:18:29,954 He's quiet. 1280 01:18:32,875 --> 01:18:34,334 Always is, this bit. 1281 01:18:36,128 --> 01:18:37,837 Meek and mild legs. 1282 01:18:39,548 --> 01:18:41,716 Gentle Equus, meek and mild. 1283 01:18:42,718 --> 01:18:44,511 At least, till the field. 1284 01:18:44,678 --> 01:18:46,429 - What field? - Ha-ha. 1285 01:18:46,514 --> 01:18:47,555 What? 1286 01:18:47,640 --> 01:18:49,516 The field of ha-ha then there's trouble. 1287 01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:51,226 - What kind? - He won't go in. 1288 01:18:51,977 --> 01:18:53,269 Make him go into it. 1289 01:18:53,354 --> 01:18:54,562 Come on. 1290 01:18:54,647 --> 01:18:56,523 Come on. 1291 01:19:00,111 --> 01:19:02,278 Is it a good field? 1292 01:19:04,031 --> 01:19:05,698 It's perfect. 1293 01:19:10,162 --> 01:19:11,996 Full of rubbish, 1294 01:19:14,500 --> 01:19:16,292 electrical and kitchenware. 1295 01:19:24,427 --> 01:19:26,386 It's covered with nettles. 1296 01:19:31,016 --> 01:19:32,517 Burn your feet. 1297 01:19:34,812 --> 01:19:37,021 Take your shoes off? 1298 01:19:39,567 --> 01:19:41,151 Everything. 1299 01:19:42,528 --> 01:19:44,195 All your clothes? 1300 01:19:48,284 --> 01:19:49,659 Yes. 1301 01:20:28,532 --> 01:20:30,158 What do you do now? 1302 01:20:30,618 --> 01:20:32,368 Hide the clothes. 1303 01:20:32,578 --> 01:20:34,162 Get the man-bit. 1304 01:20:34,246 --> 01:20:35,747 Man-bit? 1305 01:20:35,831 --> 01:20:37,499 Stick for my mouth. 1306 01:20:37,750 --> 01:20:39,667 - Your mouth? - To bite on. 1307 01:20:40,419 --> 01:20:41,961 Why? What for? 1308 01:20:42,087 --> 01:20:44,422 So as it won't happen too quick. 1309 01:20:47,718 --> 01:20:49,928 Is it always the same stick? 1310 01:20:50,763 --> 01:20:52,138 Of course. 1311 01:20:53,682 --> 01:20:55,350 Sacred stick. 1312 01:20:58,020 --> 01:20:59,604 Keep it in the hole. 1313 01:21:03,526 --> 01:21:05,443 The ark of the man-bit. 1314 01:21:29,802 --> 01:21:31,052 And now? 1315 01:21:33,764 --> 01:21:35,723 What do you do now? 1316 01:21:38,561 --> 01:21:39,894 Touch him. 1317 01:21:39,979 --> 01:21:41,145 Where? 1318 01:21:41,730 --> 01:21:43,064 All over, 1319 01:21:45,609 --> 01:21:46,776 belly, 1320 01:21:48,529 --> 01:21:49,862 ribs. 1321 01:21:52,866 --> 01:21:54,367 His ribs are of ivory, 1322 01:21:56,787 --> 01:21:57,954 of great value. 1323 01:22:00,666 --> 01:22:02,333 His flank is cool. 1324 01:22:04,378 --> 01:22:06,379 His nostrils open for me. 1325 01:22:07,673 --> 01:22:09,257 His eyes shine! They can see! 1326 01:22:09,550 --> 01:22:10,758 His eyes! 1327 01:22:13,887 --> 01:22:14,887 Go on. 1328 01:22:16,056 --> 01:22:17,348 What then? 1329 01:22:18,017 --> 01:22:19,017 Sugar. 1330 01:22:19,143 --> 01:22:21,144 - Lump sugar? - His last supper. 1331 01:22:21,979 --> 01:22:24,022 - Last before what? - Ha-ha. 1332 01:22:27,818 --> 01:22:30,028 You say anything when you give it to him? 1333 01:22:30,112 --> 01:22:32,196 Take my sins. 1334 01:22:32,323 --> 01:22:34,240 Eat them, for my sake. 1335 01:22:44,918 --> 01:22:46,127 Now he's ready? 1336 01:22:46,962 --> 01:22:48,379 You can get up on him now? 1337 01:22:48,464 --> 01:22:49,672 Yes. 1338 01:22:49,757 --> 01:22:51,466 Go on then, Alan. 1339 01:22:51,592 --> 01:22:52,967 Mount him. 1340 01:22:56,555 --> 01:22:59,390 Into my hands, he commends himself... 1341 01:23:00,267 --> 01:23:02,727 Naked in his chinkle-chankle. 1342 01:23:05,147 --> 01:23:11,402 Equus. 1343 01:23:15,074 --> 01:23:16,532 Take me. 1344 01:23:22,247 --> 01:23:23,331 Whoa. 1345 01:23:23,415 --> 01:23:25,041 Whoa, down. 1346 01:23:25,125 --> 01:23:27,168 Whoa, down, easy, boy, easy, boy. 1347 01:23:27,252 --> 01:23:28,670 Easy, boy. 1348 01:23:28,754 --> 01:23:30,004 Equus, the godslave. 1349 01:23:30,089 --> 01:23:32,131 Faithful and true, that's it. 1350 01:23:32,216 --> 01:23:34,092 He's good. He's good. 1351 01:23:34,176 --> 01:23:35,343 He's good. 1352 01:23:35,427 --> 01:23:37,845 Equus, son of Fleckwus. 1353 01:23:38,430 --> 01:23:39,972 Son of Neckwus. 1354 01:23:40,766 --> 01:23:41,891 Walk. 1355 01:23:45,854 --> 01:23:48,856 Here we go. 1356 01:23:48,941 --> 01:23:52,193 The king rides out on Equus, mightiest of horses. 1357 01:23:53,570 --> 01:23:55,321 Only I can ride him. 1358 01:23:55,864 --> 01:23:58,449 His neck comes out of my body. 1359 01:23:58,659 --> 01:24:00,702 It lifts in the dark. 1360 01:24:00,786 --> 01:24:03,204 Equus, godslave. 1361 01:24:03,288 --> 01:24:04,747 Now the king commands you. 1362 01:24:04,832 --> 01:24:07,291 Tonight, we ride against them all, 1363 01:24:07,668 --> 01:24:09,127 the hosts of bowler, 1364 01:24:09,962 --> 01:24:11,921 the hosts of Jodhpur, 1365 01:24:12,005 --> 01:24:15,091 all those who show you off for their vanity, 1366 01:24:15,175 --> 01:24:18,344 tie rosettes on your head for their vanity. 1367 01:24:18,429 --> 01:24:20,555 Come on, Equus, let's get them. 1368 01:24:20,639 --> 01:24:23,808 Trot! Steady, steady! Steady, steady! 1369 01:24:23,892 --> 01:24:25,560 That's it, steady, steady. 1370 01:24:25,644 --> 01:24:27,979 Cowboys are watching, taking off their Stetsons. 1371 01:24:28,063 --> 01:24:30,523 They know who we are. They're admiring us. 1372 01:24:30,607 --> 01:24:33,735 Bowing low unto us. Come on now, show them. 1373 01:24:33,819 --> 01:24:35,111 Canter! Canter! 1374 01:24:35,904 --> 01:24:37,905 And Equus the mighty rose against all. 1375 01:24:37,990 --> 01:24:40,616 His enemies scatter. 1376 01:24:40,701 --> 01:24:41,868 His enemies fall. 1377 01:24:41,952 --> 01:24:44,245 Turn! Trample them! Trample them! 1378 01:24:44,329 --> 01:24:45,621 Trample them! Turn. 1379 01:24:45,706 --> 01:24:48,583 Trample them! Trample them! Trample them! Turn. 1380 01:24:48,667 --> 01:24:50,543 Turn! Turn! Turn! 1381 01:24:50,627 --> 01:24:52,962 Turn! Turn! Turn! 1382 01:24:54,673 --> 01:24:58,050 Stiff! Stiff in the wind. My mane, stiff in the wind! 1383 01:24:58,135 --> 01:25:01,804 I'm raw, I'm raw. Do you feel my raw? Feel me on you? 1384 01:25:01,889 --> 01:25:05,057 On you! On you! I want to be inside you. 1385 01:25:05,142 --> 01:25:09,228 I want to be inside you, and be you. Forever one person. 1386 01:25:09,313 --> 01:25:11,647 I love you! 1387 01:25:11,732 --> 01:25:12,815 Bear me away. 1388 01:25:12,900 --> 01:25:15,985 Make us now one person. 1389 01:25:16,069 --> 01:25:19,071 Ahh! One person! 1390 01:25:45,974 --> 01:25:47,058 Amen. 1391 01:26:09,832 --> 01:26:13,167 Afterwards, he says, they always embrace. 1392 01:26:14,962 --> 01:26:17,630 He showed me how he stands in the night, 1393 01:26:18,257 --> 01:26:20,591 like a frozen tango dancer, 1394 01:26:21,385 --> 01:26:23,135 inhaling the cold... 1395 01:26:23,887 --> 01:26:25,429 Sweet breath. 1396 01:26:27,641 --> 01:26:29,851 Have you noticed it about horses, the way they'll stand, 1397 01:26:29,935 --> 01:26:33,688 one hoof on its end, like those girls in the ballet? 1398 01:26:37,734 --> 01:26:39,026 And now, 1399 01:26:40,237 --> 01:26:41,737 he's gone off to rest, 1400 01:26:42,698 --> 01:26:44,240 leaving me alone, 1401 01:26:45,075 --> 01:26:46,492 with Equus. 1402 01:26:47,786 --> 01:26:50,162 I can hear the creature's voice. 1403 01:26:50,289 --> 01:26:53,666 He's calling me out of the black cave of the psyche. 1404 01:26:54,126 --> 01:26:55,918 I shove in my dim little torch, 1405 01:26:56,461 --> 01:26:58,296 and there he stands, 1406 01:26:58,630 --> 01:26:59,797 waiting for me. 1407 01:27:02,342 --> 01:27:04,468 He raises his matted head. 1408 01:27:04,595 --> 01:27:07,138 He opens his great square teeth, and he says, 1409 01:27:07,931 --> 01:27:10,391 "Why? Why me? 1410 01:27:10,475 --> 01:27:12,226 "Why, ultimately, me? 1411 01:27:12,311 --> 01:27:13,978 "Do you really imagine you can account for me, 1412 01:27:14,062 --> 01:27:16,772 "totally, infallibly, inevitably account for me? 1413 01:27:16,857 --> 01:27:18,733 "Poor Dr. Dysart." 1414 01:27:22,654 --> 01:27:25,865 Of course, I've stared at such images before, 1415 01:27:25,949 --> 01:27:28,910 or been stared at by them, whichever way you look at it. 1416 01:27:28,994 --> 01:27:34,415 And weirdly, often now with me, the feeling is that they are staring at us. 1417 01:27:35,208 --> 01:27:37,376 That in some quite palpable way, 1418 01:27:38,211 --> 01:27:39,795 they precede us. 1419 01:27:40,005 --> 01:27:42,590 Meaningless, but unsettling. 1420 01:27:44,343 --> 01:27:46,969 In either case, this particular one. 1421 01:27:47,054 --> 01:27:51,807 This huge, implacable head is the most alarming yet. 1422 01:27:52,184 --> 01:27:56,020 It asks questions I've avoided all my professional life. 1423 01:28:03,487 --> 01:28:06,280 A child is born into a world of phenomena, 1424 01:28:06,365 --> 01:28:07,990 all equal in their power to enslave. 1425 01:28:08,075 --> 01:28:10,076 It sniffs, it sucks, it strokes its eyes, 1426 01:28:10,160 --> 01:28:12,370 over the whole, uncountable range. 1427 01:28:12,537 --> 01:28:14,956 Suddenly, one strikes. 1428 01:28:15,040 --> 01:28:16,707 Then another. Then another. 1429 01:28:16,792 --> 01:28:17,959 Why? 1430 01:28:18,043 --> 01:28:21,545 Moments snap together, like magnets forging a chain of shackles. 1431 01:28:21,630 --> 01:28:22,797 Why? 1432 01:28:22,881 --> 01:28:25,800 I can trace them. I can even, with time, pull them apart again. 1433 01:28:25,926 --> 01:28:28,427 But why, at the start, they were ever magnetized at all, 1434 01:28:28,512 --> 01:28:31,639 why those particular moments of experience and no others, 1435 01:28:31,807 --> 01:28:34,809 I do not know, and nor does anybody else! 1436 01:28:38,230 --> 01:28:39,522 And if I don't know, 1437 01:28:40,399 --> 01:28:41,565 if I can never know, 1438 01:28:42,317 --> 01:28:43,526 what am I doing here? 1439 01:28:44,736 --> 01:28:48,823 I don't mean clinically doing, or socially doing, but fundamentally. 1440 01:28:50,200 --> 01:28:53,953 These whys, these questions, are fundamental. 1441 01:28:55,080 --> 01:28:58,040 Yet they have no place in a consulting room. 1442 01:28:58,375 --> 01:28:59,917 So, then, do I? 1443 01:29:00,544 --> 01:29:02,044 Do any of us? 1444 01:29:04,297 --> 01:29:07,258 This is the feeling, more and more. 1445 01:29:09,428 --> 01:29:10,886 Displacement. 1446 01:29:11,722 --> 01:29:13,180 Relentless... 1447 01:29:14,266 --> 01:29:15,808 Displacement. 1448 01:29:16,601 --> 01:29:18,728 "Account for me," 1449 01:29:19,521 --> 01:29:21,272 says staring Equus. 1450 01:29:22,357 --> 01:29:25,151 "First, account for me!" 1451 01:29:28,363 --> 01:29:29,905 Dr. Dysart! 1452 01:29:29,990 --> 01:29:31,157 Dr. Dysart! 1453 01:29:31,241 --> 01:29:34,160 There's a terrible scene with the Strang boy in the violence room. 1454 01:29:34,244 --> 01:29:38,122 His mother brought him chocolates. He threw them at her, hard! 1455 01:29:38,832 --> 01:29:40,541 Don't you dare! 1456 01:29:41,460 --> 01:29:43,878 Don't you dare. Don't you look at me like that. 1457 01:29:43,962 --> 01:29:45,880 I'm not a doctor, you know, who'll take anything. 1458 01:29:45,964 --> 01:29:47,673 Don't you give me that stare, young man. 1459 01:29:47,758 --> 01:29:48,758 Mrs. Strang. 1460 01:29:48,842 --> 01:29:50,217 I know your stares, they don't work on me... 1461 01:29:50,302 --> 01:29:51,927 Leave here at once! 1462 01:29:52,637 --> 01:29:53,721 What did you say? 1463 01:29:53,805 --> 01:29:55,806 I tell you to leave here at once. 1464 01:29:58,226 --> 01:29:59,477 Goodbye, Alan. 1465 01:29:59,561 --> 01:30:00,811 Wait for me here. 1466 01:30:03,523 --> 01:30:04,940 I must ask you never to come here again. 1467 01:30:05,025 --> 01:30:07,777 You think I want to? Do you think I want to? 1468 01:30:08,487 --> 01:30:09,570 Mrs. Strang, 1469 01:30:09,696 --> 01:30:10,863 what on earth has got into you? 1470 01:30:10,947 --> 01:30:12,156 Into me? 1471 01:30:12,240 --> 01:30:14,241 - Can't you see the boy's highly distressed? - Oh, really? 1472 01:30:14,326 --> 01:30:15,951 Yes, he's at the most delicate stage of treatment. 1473 01:30:16,036 --> 01:30:19,955 He's totally ex... ex... exposed, ashamed, everything you can imagine. 1474 01:30:20,040 --> 01:30:21,082 And me? 1475 01:30:21,166 --> 01:30:22,500 What about me? 1476 01:30:23,168 --> 01:30:25,086 What do you think I am? 1477 01:30:26,338 --> 01:30:28,756 I'm a parent. Of course, that doesn't count. 1478 01:30:28,840 --> 01:30:30,800 That's a dirty word in here, isn't it? "Parent"? 1479 01:30:30,884 --> 01:30:31,967 Now, you know that's not true. 1480 01:30:32,052 --> 01:30:33,844 Oh, I know it, I know it, all right. 1481 01:30:34,554 --> 01:30:36,430 I've heard it all my life. 1482 01:30:36,515 --> 01:30:39,433 I... it's our fault. Whatever happens, we did it. 1483 01:30:39,976 --> 01:30:42,144 You come to us and say, "Who forbids television? 1484 01:30:42,229 --> 01:30:43,771 "Who does what behind whose back?" 1485 01:30:43,855 --> 01:30:45,356 As if we're criminals. 1486 01:30:46,733 --> 01:30:49,610 Well, let me tell you something. We're not criminals. 1487 01:30:49,694 --> 01:30:51,445 We've done nothing wrong. 1488 01:30:51,863 --> 01:30:55,116 We loved Alan. We gave him the best love we could. 1489 01:30:56,368 --> 01:30:59,954 Poor Frank digs into the boy too much, but... but nothing in excess. 1490 01:31:00,038 --> 01:31:01,705 He's not a bully. 1491 01:31:03,333 --> 01:31:04,708 No, Doctor. 1492 01:31:05,210 --> 01:31:06,836 Whatever has happened, 1493 01:31:07,838 --> 01:31:10,047 has happened because of Alan. 1494 01:31:10,882 --> 01:31:13,259 If you added up everything we ever did to him, 1495 01:31:13,343 --> 01:31:14,969 from his first day on Earth to this, 1496 01:31:15,053 --> 01:31:18,722 you wouldn't find out why he did this, t... terrible thing. 1497 01:31:21,351 --> 01:31:23,602 Do you understand what I'm saying? 1498 01:31:24,479 --> 01:31:25,896 I want you to understand, 1499 01:31:25,981 --> 01:31:29,775 because I lie awake, and awake, thinking it out. 1500 01:31:30,694 --> 01:31:31,819 And I want you to know 1501 01:31:31,903 --> 01:31:35,030 that I deny it absolutely, what he's doing now. 1502 01:31:35,282 --> 01:31:36,782 Staring at me, 1503 01:31:37,200 --> 01:31:40,077 attacking me for what he's done. 1504 01:31:40,620 --> 01:31:43,497 For what... he... is. 1505 01:31:47,169 --> 01:31:49,086 - Mrs. Strang! - Oh! 1506 01:32:08,815 --> 01:32:11,775 You have your words, and I have mine. 1507 01:32:12,777 --> 01:32:16,739 But if you knew God, Doctor, you would know about the devil. 1508 01:32:17,199 --> 01:32:21,118 The devil isn't made by what Mummy says, or what Daddy says. 1509 01:32:21,203 --> 01:32:22,953 The devil is there. 1510 01:32:23,121 --> 01:32:26,290 It's an old-fashioned word, but a true thing. 1511 01:32:28,543 --> 01:32:29,793 I'll go. 1512 01:32:30,754 --> 01:32:33,297 What I did just now was inexcusable. 1513 01:32:34,216 --> 01:32:35,966 I only know that... 1514 01:32:36,092 --> 01:32:38,135 He was my little Alan, 1515 01:32:39,512 --> 01:32:41,472 and then the devil came. 1516 01:33:09,668 --> 01:33:12,002 I thought you liked your mother. 1517 01:33:16,549 --> 01:33:17,675 She doesn't know anything, you know. 1518 01:33:17,759 --> 01:33:19,593 I haven't told her what you told me. You know that, don't you? 1519 01:33:19,678 --> 01:33:21,428 It was lies, anyway. 1520 01:33:21,638 --> 01:33:22,680 What was? 1521 01:33:22,806 --> 01:33:25,474 You and your pencil. Just a con-trick, that's all. 1522 01:33:25,558 --> 01:33:27,518 Made me say a lot of lies. 1523 01:33:28,687 --> 01:33:29,728 Like what? 1524 01:33:29,813 --> 01:33:32,773 All of it. Everything I said. A lot of lies. 1525 01:33:33,775 --> 01:33:34,942 I see. 1526 01:33:36,236 --> 01:33:38,445 Ought to be locked up. Bloody tricks. 1527 01:33:38,530 --> 01:33:40,114 Thought you liked tricks. 1528 01:33:40,198 --> 01:33:42,241 It'll be the drug next, huh? 1529 01:33:44,452 --> 01:33:45,494 What drug? 1530 01:33:45,578 --> 01:33:47,788 I've heard. I'm not ignorant. 1531 01:33:48,707 --> 01:33:49,748 I know what you get up to in here, 1532 01:33:49,833 --> 01:33:53,294 shove needles in people and pump them full of truth drugs, so they... 1533 01:33:53,378 --> 01:33:56,463 Can't help saying things. That's next, isn't it? 1534 01:34:07,100 --> 01:34:08,225 Alan, 1535 01:34:09,394 --> 01:34:11,562 do you know why you're here? 1536 01:34:14,482 --> 01:34:16,900 So you can give me truth drugs. 1537 01:34:17,527 --> 01:34:18,694 He actually believes they exist. 1538 01:34:18,778 --> 01:34:19,820 Truth drugs? 1539 01:34:19,904 --> 01:34:21,030 Yes. 1540 01:34:21,114 --> 01:34:22,156 And don't they? 1541 01:34:22,240 --> 01:34:23,407 Of course not. 1542 01:34:24,117 --> 01:34:25,909 The important thing is that he... 1543 01:34:26,995 --> 01:34:28,287 Wants a way to speak, 1544 01:34:28,371 --> 01:34:30,831 to finally tell me what happened in those stables. 1545 01:34:30,915 --> 01:34:32,166 Tape is too isolated, 1546 01:34:32,250 --> 01:34:35,586 and hypnosis, he pretends, is a trick, so he can deny it later. 1547 01:34:37,255 --> 01:34:40,090 Now I'm tempted to play a real trick on him. 1548 01:34:40,175 --> 01:34:41,550 Like what? 1549 01:34:42,093 --> 01:34:43,761 Give him an aspirin. 1550 01:34:43,887 --> 01:34:46,638 Tell him it's the strongest truth drug in the world. 1551 01:34:47,057 --> 01:34:49,558 He'd just deny everything again afterwards. 1552 01:34:50,101 --> 01:34:51,852 The same thing all over. 1553 01:34:52,020 --> 01:34:54,813 No, because I'd tell him the truth afterwards, 1554 01:34:54,939 --> 01:34:56,774 that it was simply an aspirin. 1555 01:34:56,858 --> 01:34:58,400 And he'll believe me. 1556 01:34:59,444 --> 01:35:01,862 You know, underneath all that glowering, the boy trusts me. 1557 01:35:01,946 --> 01:35:02,988 You realize that? 1558 01:35:03,073 --> 01:35:04,406 Oh, I'm sure he does. 1559 01:35:04,616 --> 01:35:05,866 Poor, bloody fool. 1560 01:35:05,950 --> 01:35:09,453 Oh, now, please, Martin, dear, don't start that again. 1561 01:35:12,791 --> 01:35:14,541 Can you think of anything worse one can do to somebody 1562 01:35:14,626 --> 01:35:16,960 than to take away their worship? 1563 01:35:18,004 --> 01:35:19,088 Worship? 1564 01:35:19,172 --> 01:35:20,631 Yes, that word again. 1565 01:35:21,758 --> 01:35:23,675 Isn't that a little extreme? 1566 01:35:24,135 --> 01:35:25,594 Extremity... 1567 01:35:25,804 --> 01:35:27,304 Is the point. 1568 01:35:28,390 --> 01:35:31,975 Worship isn't destructive, Martin. I know that. 1569 01:35:32,852 --> 01:35:34,103 I don't. 1570 01:35:34,813 --> 01:35:37,064 I only know it's the core of his life. 1571 01:35:37,190 --> 01:35:40,734 What else has he got? I mean, think about it. He can hardly read. 1572 01:35:40,819 --> 01:35:44,071 He knows no physics or engineering to make the world real to him, 1573 01:35:44,155 --> 01:35:47,241 no paintings to show him how others have enjoyed it, 1574 01:35:47,325 --> 01:35:49,451 no music except television jingles, 1575 01:35:49,536 --> 01:35:51,245 no history except tales from a desperate mother. 1576 01:35:51,329 --> 01:35:53,664 No friends, not one kid to give him a joke, 1577 01:35:53,748 --> 01:35:56,250 or make him know himself more moderately. 1578 01:35:56,334 --> 01:35:59,086 He's a modern citizen for whom society doesn't exist. 1579 01:35:59,170 --> 01:36:03,006 He lives one hour every three weeks, howling in a mist. 1580 01:36:03,591 --> 01:36:06,552 "With my body, I thee worship." 1581 01:36:07,971 --> 01:36:09,888 Many men are less vital with their wives. 1582 01:36:10,348 --> 01:36:13,350 All the same, they don't usually blind their wives, do they? 1583 01:36:13,435 --> 01:36:15,185 - Oh, come on. - Well, do they? 1584 01:36:15,520 --> 01:36:17,813 You mean he's a madman? A violent, dangerous madman, 1585 01:36:17,897 --> 01:36:19,731 who'll go round the country, doing it again and again? 1586 01:36:20,775 --> 01:36:22,943 I mean he's in pain, Martin. 1587 01:36:23,194 --> 01:36:25,779 He's been in pain for most of his life. 1588 01:36:26,364 --> 01:36:27,364 Yes. 1589 01:36:27,449 --> 01:36:28,949 And you can take it away. 1590 01:36:30,034 --> 01:36:30,993 Yes. 1591 01:36:31,077 --> 01:36:33,495 Then that's all you need to know, in the end. 1592 01:36:35,665 --> 01:36:36,957 No. 1593 01:36:37,834 --> 01:36:39,042 Why not? 1594 01:36:39,294 --> 01:36:41,545 Because it is his. 1595 01:36:42,422 --> 01:36:43,505 His? 1596 01:36:43,965 --> 01:36:45,215 His pain. 1597 01:36:46,551 --> 01:36:47,801 His own. 1598 01:36:48,887 --> 01:36:50,220 He made it. 1599 01:36:50,722 --> 01:36:52,431 I don't understand. 1600 01:36:54,893 --> 01:36:56,226 Well, I don't! 1601 01:36:57,187 --> 01:36:59,021 I mean, there's nothing meritorious about being in pain, 1602 01:36:59,105 --> 01:37:00,731 that's just pure old masochism. 1603 01:37:00,857 --> 01:37:03,358 I'm talking about passion, Hesther. 1604 01:37:03,568 --> 01:37:06,236 Do you know what that word meant originally? Suffering. 1605 01:37:06,321 --> 01:37:08,697 The way you get your own spirit through your own suffering. 1606 01:37:09,449 --> 01:37:12,409 Self-chosen. Self-made. This boy's done that. 1607 01:37:14,621 --> 01:37:18,207 He's created his own desperate ceremony just, just to... 1608 01:37:18,291 --> 01:37:21,126 Just to ignite one flame of original ecstasy 1609 01:37:21,211 --> 01:37:23,629 in... in the spiritless waste around him. 1610 01:37:24,130 --> 01:37:25,464 All right, 1611 01:37:26,257 --> 01:37:28,675 he's destroyed for it, horribly. 1612 01:37:29,010 --> 01:37:31,136 He's virtually been destroyed by it. 1613 01:37:31,262 --> 01:37:33,847 But one thing I know for sure, that boy has known a passion 1614 01:37:33,932 --> 01:37:36,683 more ferocious than I have known in any second of my life. 1615 01:37:36,768 --> 01:37:38,852 Well, let me tell you something. I envy it. 1616 01:37:39,270 --> 01:37:41,271 - You can't. - Don't you see? 1617 01:37:41,648 --> 01:37:43,815 That's what his stare has been saying to me all this time. 1618 01:37:43,900 --> 01:37:46,318 "At least I galloped. When did you?" 1619 01:37:54,202 --> 01:37:55,994 I'm jealous, Hesther. 1620 01:37:57,497 --> 01:37:58,830 Jealous... 1621 01:37:59,791 --> 01:38:01,291 Of Alan Strang. 1622 01:38:02,835 --> 01:38:04,253 That's absurd. 1623 01:38:04,337 --> 01:38:05,546 Is it? 1624 01:38:05,630 --> 01:38:07,130 Yes, utterly. 1625 01:38:07,465 --> 01:38:08,715 Utterly! 1626 01:38:10,093 --> 01:38:11,969 I go on about my wife. 1627 01:38:12,554 --> 01:38:13,929 Have you thought about the husband? 1628 01:38:14,013 --> 01:38:17,558 The finicky, critical husband, with his art books on mythical Greece? 1629 01:38:17,642 --> 01:38:19,184 What worship has he ever known? Real worship? 1630 01:38:19,269 --> 01:38:21,353 Without worship, you... you shrink! 1631 01:38:21,437 --> 01:38:24,147 It's as brutal as that. I shrank my own life. No one can do it for you. 1632 01:38:24,232 --> 01:38:27,568 I settled for being pallid and provincial out of my own eternal timidity. 1633 01:38:27,652 --> 01:38:31,238 The old... the old story of bluster, and do bugger-all. 1634 01:38:32,782 --> 01:38:34,992 I didn't even dare to have children... 1635 01:38:35,076 --> 01:38:39,496 Didn't dare to bring children into a house and marriage as cold as mine. 1636 01:38:41,416 --> 01:38:44,793 I tell everyone Margaret's the Puritan, I'm the pagan. 1637 01:38:44,877 --> 01:38:49,047 Some pagan. Such wild returns I make to the womb of civilization. 1638 01:38:49,507 --> 01:38:51,258 Three weeks a year in the Mediterranean. 1639 01:38:51,342 --> 01:38:54,511 Every bed booked in advance, every meal paid for with vouchers, 1640 01:38:54,596 --> 01:38:56,597 cautious jaunts in hired cars, 1641 01:38:56,681 --> 01:38:59,516 suitcase crammed with kaopectate. 1642 01:38:59,601 --> 01:39:02,269 What a fantastic surrender to the primitive. 1643 01:39:03,438 --> 01:39:05,522 And the "primitive." I use that word endlessly. 1644 01:39:05,607 --> 01:39:07,274 "Ah, the primitive world," I say, 1645 01:39:07,358 --> 01:39:10,277 "What instinctual truths were lost with it." 1646 01:39:10,361 --> 01:39:12,779 And while I sit there baiting that poor, 1647 01:39:12,864 --> 01:39:15,365 unimaginative woman with the word, 1648 01:39:15,450 --> 01:39:18,785 that freaky boy is trying to conjure the reality. 1649 01:39:18,870 --> 01:39:21,622 I look at pages of centaurs trampling the soil of Argos. 1650 01:39:21,706 --> 01:39:22,706 And outside my window, 1651 01:39:22,790 --> 01:39:25,292 that boy is trying to become one in a Hampshire field. 1652 01:39:25,376 --> 01:39:27,461 I sit there, night after night watching that woman knitting, 1653 01:39:27,545 --> 01:39:30,380 a woman I haven't kissed in six years. 1654 01:39:30,882 --> 01:39:32,799 And he stands for an hour in the dark, 1655 01:39:32,884 --> 01:39:35,927 sucking the sweat off his god's hairy cheek. 1656 01:39:38,473 --> 01:39:41,725 Then in the morning, I put away my books on the cultural shelf, 1657 01:39:41,851 --> 01:39:45,395 close up my kodachrome snaps of Mount Olympus, 1658 01:39:45,897 --> 01:39:49,983 touch my reproduction statue of Dionysus for luck, 1659 01:39:50,943 --> 01:39:53,904 and then go off to the hospital to treat him... 1660 01:39:53,988 --> 01:39:55,447 For insanity. 1661 01:39:59,077 --> 01:40:00,327 Now do you see? 1662 01:40:13,341 --> 01:40:15,425 The boy's in pain, Martin. 1663 01:40:17,929 --> 01:40:19,596 That's all I see. 1664 01:40:30,274 --> 01:40:32,150 I understand, you know. 1665 01:40:33,611 --> 01:40:36,196 I'm not just being Mrs. Macbrisk. 1666 01:40:37,573 --> 01:40:40,158 You haven't made that kind of pain. 1667 01:40:40,743 --> 01:40:42,703 So few of us have. 1668 01:40:43,538 --> 01:40:46,081 But you've still made other things. 1669 01:40:46,165 --> 01:40:48,208 Your own thoughts. Your own skill. 1670 01:40:48,292 --> 01:40:50,335 Skill absolutely, what you said, unique to you. 1671 01:40:50,420 --> 01:40:54,214 I've watched you do it, year after year, and it's marvelous! 1672 01:40:54,465 --> 01:40:55,924 I mean, you can't just sit there now, 1673 01:40:56,008 --> 01:40:57,843 and say it's all provincial, you're just a butcher. 1674 01:40:57,927 --> 01:41:00,637 All that stuff is stupid, hateful. 1675 01:41:02,306 --> 01:41:05,434 All right, you never galloped. Too bad. 1676 01:41:05,518 --> 01:41:09,396 Let me tell you, if I have to choose between his galloping and your sheer training, 1677 01:41:09,480 --> 01:41:10,939 I'll take the training every time. 1678 01:41:11,023 --> 01:41:14,151 And what's more, so will the boy, at this moment. 1679 01:41:16,654 --> 01:41:20,657 That stare of his isn't accusing you, my dear, it's simply demanding. 1680 01:41:23,870 --> 01:41:25,579 - What? - Just that. 1681 01:41:25,663 --> 01:41:30,000 Your power to pull him out of the nightmare he's galloped himself into. 1682 01:41:37,008 --> 01:41:49,311 Do you see? 1683 01:42:23,346 --> 01:42:25,138 It is all true, 1684 01:42:25,223 --> 01:42:27,974 what I said after you tapped the pencil. 1685 01:42:28,059 --> 01:42:31,728 Postscriptum, I know why I'm in here. 1686 01:42:55,962 --> 01:42:58,129 I got your note. Thank you. 1687 01:42:59,757 --> 01:43:02,008 Also for the postscriptum. 1688 01:43:02,093 --> 01:43:03,593 Well, that's the right word. Me mum told me. 1689 01:43:03,678 --> 01:43:05,929 It's Latin. It means "after writing." 1690 01:43:09,100 --> 01:43:11,309 Sorry I didn't see you today. 1691 01:43:12,061 --> 01:43:13,478 You're fed up with me? 1692 01:43:13,563 --> 01:43:14,604 Yes. 1693 01:43:15,982 --> 01:43:18,149 Can I make it up to you now? 1694 01:43:18,401 --> 01:43:20,026 What do you mean? 1695 01:43:20,611 --> 01:43:22,779 I thought we'd have a session. 1696 01:43:22,864 --> 01:43:23,864 Now? 1697 01:43:23,948 --> 01:43:25,824 Yes, at dead of night. 1698 01:43:27,118 --> 01:43:29,619 Better than going to sleep, isn't it? 1699 01:43:39,088 --> 01:43:40,589 Listen, Alan. 1700 01:43:41,465 --> 01:43:43,091 Everything I say has a trick or a catch. 1701 01:43:43,175 --> 01:43:44,551 Everything I do has a trick or a catch. 1702 01:43:44,635 --> 01:43:46,136 It's the only thing I know to do. But they... 1703 01:43:46,220 --> 01:43:48,054 They work. And you know that, don't you? 1704 01:43:48,139 --> 01:43:49,639 Now trust me. 1705 01:43:51,475 --> 01:43:53,768 You got another trick, then? 1706 01:43:53,853 --> 01:43:54,936 Yes. 1707 01:43:55,521 --> 01:43:57,772 - Truth drug? - If you like. 1708 01:43:59,066 --> 01:44:00,525 What's it do? 1709 01:44:00,902 --> 01:44:02,736 Make it easier for you to talk. 1710 01:44:02,820 --> 01:44:04,195 What, like you can't help yourself? 1711 01:44:04,280 --> 01:44:08,241 Yes, like you have to speak the truth at all costs, and all of it. 1712 01:44:11,245 --> 01:44:12,537 Where is it? 1713 01:44:12,622 --> 01:44:13,997 Here. 1714 01:44:14,498 --> 01:44:15,874 Let's see. 1715 01:44:28,262 --> 01:44:29,596 Is that really it? 1716 01:44:29,680 --> 01:44:30,805 Yes. 1717 01:44:31,432 --> 01:44:32,682 You want to try it? 1718 01:44:32,767 --> 01:44:33,850 No. 1719 01:44:34,268 --> 01:44:35,268 I think you do. 1720 01:44:35,353 --> 01:44:36,645 I don't, not at all. 1721 01:44:36,729 --> 01:44:38,104 Afterwards, you'd sleep. 1722 01:44:38,773 --> 01:44:40,357 You'd have no more bad dreams all night. 1723 01:44:40,441 --> 01:44:42,108 Probably for many nights from then on. 1724 01:44:44,946 --> 01:44:46,363 How long does it take to work? 1725 01:44:46,447 --> 01:44:48,865 - It's instant, like coffee. - It isn't. 1726 01:44:49,825 --> 01:44:51,076 Promise. 1727 01:44:51,911 --> 01:44:53,036 Well? 1728 01:44:56,248 --> 01:44:58,041 Can I have a cigarette? 1729 01:45:00,628 --> 01:45:02,212 Pill first. 1730 01:45:51,595 --> 01:45:53,430 What'll I feel first? 1731 01:45:53,973 --> 01:45:55,473 Nothing much. 1732 01:45:56,100 --> 01:45:58,852 After a minute, about 100 green snakes will come out of that cabinet, 1733 01:45:58,936 --> 01:46:01,354 singing the hallelujah chorus. 1734 01:46:02,523 --> 01:46:04,107 No, I'm serious. 1735 01:46:05,776 --> 01:46:07,569 You'll feel nothing. 1736 01:46:08,279 --> 01:46:11,531 Nothing is going to happen, but what you want to happen. 1737 01:46:11,615 --> 01:46:15,285 You're not going to say anything to me, but what you want to say. 1738 01:46:15,369 --> 01:46:17,787 Sit back. Relax. 1739 01:46:18,956 --> 01:46:20,790 Finish your cigarette. 1740 01:46:29,467 --> 01:46:32,385 Bet this room's heard some funny things. 1741 01:46:32,470 --> 01:46:34,095 It certainly has. 1742 01:46:36,140 --> 01:46:37,474 I like it. 1743 01:46:38,142 --> 01:46:40,060 - This room? - Don't you? 1744 01:46:40,644 --> 01:46:42,270 Well, there's... 1745 01:46:42,646 --> 01:46:44,939 Nothing much to like, is there? 1746 01:46:47,318 --> 01:46:49,152 Actually, I'd like to leave this room, and never... 1747 01:46:49,236 --> 01:46:51,362 Never set foot in it again in my life. 1748 01:46:53,032 --> 01:46:54,282 Why? 1749 01:46:54,992 --> 01:46:56,785 Been in it too long. 1750 01:46:57,787 --> 01:46:59,496 Where would you go? 1751 01:46:59,622 --> 01:47:00,872 Somewhere. 1752 01:47:01,207 --> 01:47:02,248 Secret? 1753 01:47:03,667 --> 01:47:04,876 Yes. 1754 01:47:06,837 --> 01:47:08,421 There's a sea... 1755 01:47:09,632 --> 01:47:11,508 A great sea that I love. 1756 01:47:13,344 --> 01:47:15,678 It's where the Gods used to bathe. 1757 01:47:16,472 --> 01:47:17,806 What Gods? 1758 01:47:18,682 --> 01:47:21,142 The old ones, before they died. 1759 01:47:22,228 --> 01:47:23,686 Gods don't die. 1760 01:47:26,524 --> 01:47:28,149 Oh, yes, they do. 1761 01:47:31,904 --> 01:47:33,363 Come with me. 1762 01:47:42,164 --> 01:47:44,833 It's a village I spent a night in once, 1763 01:47:45,376 --> 01:47:47,293 where I'd like to live. 1764 01:47:48,129 --> 01:47:49,462 All white. 1765 01:47:57,888 --> 01:47:59,180 How would you nosy parker, though? 1766 01:47:59,265 --> 01:48:01,391 You wouldn't have a room for it anymore. 1767 01:48:01,475 --> 01:48:03,643 Well, I wouldn't mind. 1768 01:48:03,727 --> 01:48:06,646 I don't actually enjoy being a nosy parker, you know. 1769 01:48:06,730 --> 01:48:07,897 Then why do it? 1770 01:48:07,982 --> 01:48:09,607 Because you're unhappy. 1771 01:48:09,692 --> 01:48:11,067 So are you. 1772 01:48:13,445 --> 01:48:15,405 Here, I didn't mean that. 1773 01:48:15,990 --> 01:48:17,073 It's all right. 1774 01:48:17,741 --> 01:48:18,783 No... is that how it works? 1775 01:48:18,868 --> 01:48:21,995 Things just slip out without you feeling anything? 1776 01:48:22,079 --> 01:48:23,079 Yes. 1777 01:48:24,999 --> 01:48:26,124 So quick. 1778 01:48:26,208 --> 01:48:27,584 I told you. 1779 01:48:29,003 --> 01:48:31,004 You can say anything under it? 1780 01:48:31,088 --> 01:48:32,380 Yes. 1781 01:48:48,647 --> 01:48:49,898 Well, ask me a question. 1782 01:48:59,909 --> 01:49:01,242 All right. 1783 01:49:04,955 --> 01:49:06,122 Tell me about Jill. 1784 01:49:08,334 --> 01:49:09,584 Nothing to tell. 1785 01:49:09,668 --> 01:49:10,919 Nothing? 1786 01:49:12,463 --> 01:49:15,173 Well, for example, is she, uh, pretty? 1787 01:49:15,257 --> 01:49:16,549 You've never described her to me. 1788 01:49:17,801 --> 01:49:19,427 She's all right. 1789 01:49:20,179 --> 01:49:22,138 What color is her hair? 1790 01:49:23,098 --> 01:49:25,558 - Don't know. - Is it long or short? 1791 01:49:26,143 --> 01:49:27,310 Don't know. 1792 01:49:27,645 --> 01:49:29,437 Now, come on, Alan, surely, you must know that. 1793 01:49:29,521 --> 01:49:31,147 I don't remember. I don't! 1794 01:49:32,858 --> 01:49:33,983 Alan, 1795 01:49:34,693 --> 01:49:37,737 you're going to do this, and do it now. 1796 01:49:37,821 --> 01:49:40,156 You're going to tell me everything that happened with this girl. 1797 01:49:40,282 --> 01:49:42,825 And now, not just tell me, show me. 1798 01:49:43,202 --> 01:49:46,704 Act it out, if you like, even more than when I tapped the pencil. 1799 01:49:46,789 --> 01:49:49,249 I want you to feel free to do anything you like in this room. 1800 01:49:49,500 --> 01:49:52,210 The pill will help you, I will help you. 1801 01:49:52,962 --> 01:49:56,256 Now describe her to me. Is her hair long or short? 1802 01:49:57,591 --> 01:49:58,675 Down to here. 1803 01:49:58,759 --> 01:49:59,884 - You sure? - Yes. 1804 01:50:02,096 --> 01:50:03,179 Well? 1805 01:50:03,514 --> 01:50:04,722 She was posh. 1806 01:50:04,807 --> 01:50:05,848 You mean snobbish? 1807 01:50:05,933 --> 01:50:07,517 Yeah, no. I don't know! 1808 01:50:08,519 --> 01:50:10,353 - She was always looking. - At you? 1809 01:50:10,437 --> 01:50:12,230 Saying stupid things. 1810 01:50:14,275 --> 01:50:15,566 Always asking questions. 1811 01:50:15,651 --> 01:50:16,693 Like what? 1812 01:50:16,777 --> 01:50:18,653 Do you find them sexy? 1813 01:50:18,946 --> 01:50:20,029 What? 1814 01:50:20,864 --> 01:50:22,031 Horses. 1815 01:50:22,116 --> 01:50:23,616 Don't be daft. 1816 01:50:24,535 --> 01:50:25,785 Girls do. 1817 01:50:26,203 --> 01:50:29,956 I mean, they go through a period where they pat them and kiss them a lot. 1818 01:50:30,040 --> 01:50:31,541 I know I did. 1819 01:50:34,044 --> 01:50:35,545 I suppose it's just a substitute, really. 1820 01:50:35,629 --> 01:50:37,255 That kind of thing, all the time. 1821 01:50:37,506 --> 01:50:38,548 Till one night... 1822 01:50:38,632 --> 01:50:39,632 Yes, what? 1823 01:50:39,717 --> 01:50:42,302 It was her idea. She got me into it, the whole thing. 1824 01:50:42,386 --> 01:50:44,220 What are you saying? One night? Go on from there. 1825 01:50:45,055 --> 01:50:47,807 It was a Saturday night. We were just closing up. 1826 01:50:47,891 --> 01:50:49,976 How would you like to take me out? 1827 01:50:51,228 --> 01:50:52,312 What? 1828 01:50:52,396 --> 01:50:54,897 How would you like to take me out tonight? 1829 01:50:55,941 --> 01:50:57,191 No, I've got to go home. 1830 01:50:57,276 --> 01:50:58,568 What for? 1831 01:50:59,111 --> 01:51:00,528 They expect me. 1832 01:51:01,030 --> 01:51:03,698 Ring up and say you're going out. 1833 01:51:03,782 --> 01:51:05,033 I can't. 1834 01:51:05,576 --> 01:51:06,826 Why not? 1835 01:51:07,745 --> 01:51:09,120 They expect me. 1836 01:51:09,538 --> 01:51:12,999 Look, either we go out together and have some fun, 1837 01:51:13,083 --> 01:51:15,501 or you go back to your boring home, as usual, 1838 01:51:15,586 --> 01:51:17,503 and I go back to mine. 1839 01:51:17,588 --> 01:51:19,255 That's the situation, isn't it? 1840 01:51:20,466 --> 01:51:21,799 Where would we go? 1841 01:51:22,468 --> 01:51:24,886 There's a skin flick over in Winchester. 1842 01:51:24,970 --> 01:51:26,679 I've never seen one. Have you? 1843 01:51:28,891 --> 01:51:30,224 Wouldn't you like to? 1844 01:51:30,559 --> 01:51:33,603 All those heavy Swedes panting at one another. 1845 01:51:34,271 --> 01:51:35,355 Well? 1846 01:51:36,106 --> 01:51:37,690 What do you say? 1847 01:51:40,152 --> 01:51:41,402 Yeah. 1848 01:51:47,201 --> 01:51:48,284 Well? 1849 01:51:49,119 --> 01:51:50,203 So you did? 1850 01:51:50,454 --> 01:51:51,746 I'm tired now. I want to stop. 1851 01:51:51,830 --> 01:51:54,457 - Come on, now. You can't stop there. - Well, I'm tired, I want to go to bed! 1852 01:51:54,541 --> 01:51:55,541 - Well, you can't. - Why? 1853 01:51:55,626 --> 01:51:56,709 I want to hear about that film. 1854 01:51:56,794 --> 01:51:58,669 - Hear what? What? It was bloody awful. - Why? 1855 01:51:58,754 --> 01:52:00,171 - Nosy parker! - Why? 1856 01:52:00,255 --> 01:52:01,756 - Because... - Yes? 1857 01:52:03,300 --> 01:52:05,051 The whole place was full of men. 1858 01:52:05,135 --> 01:52:06,844 Jill was the only girl. 1859 01:52:08,263 --> 01:52:09,305 It was daft. 1860 01:52:09,390 --> 01:52:10,890 All took place in Sweden. 1861 01:52:10,974 --> 01:52:13,851 There was this girl, Brita, who was 16. 1862 01:52:14,395 --> 01:52:17,021 She went to stay in this house where there was an older boy. 1863 01:52:17,106 --> 01:52:18,648 He kept giving her looks. 1864 01:52:19,024 --> 01:52:21,234 But she ignored him completely. 1865 01:52:21,318 --> 01:52:22,568 Instead, she took a shower. 1866 01:52:23,821 --> 01:52:25,780 She went into the bathroom and took off all her clothes, 1867 01:52:25,864 --> 01:52:27,949 the lot, very, very slowly. 1868 01:52:28,826 --> 01:52:30,493 It was fantastic. 1869 01:52:31,036 --> 01:52:34,080 Water fell down her, bouncing off her breasts. 1870 01:52:34,998 --> 01:52:37,083 Is that the first time you'd ever seen a girl naked? 1871 01:52:37,167 --> 01:52:38,334 Yes. 1872 01:52:38,419 --> 01:52:39,961 Couldn't see everything, though. 1873 01:52:41,296 --> 01:52:42,755 It was funny. 1874 01:52:42,840 --> 01:52:44,465 All around me, all the men were staring up, 1875 01:52:44,550 --> 01:52:46,592 like they were in a church. 1876 01:52:47,469 --> 01:52:49,554 Like a secret congregation. 1877 01:52:50,264 --> 01:52:52,765 Like those early Christians my mum talks about, 1878 01:52:52,850 --> 01:52:55,810 the ones that came together in caves underground. 1879 01:52:56,854 --> 01:52:58,187 And then... 1880 01:53:00,107 --> 01:53:02,150 - Christ! - What? 1881 01:53:02,234 --> 01:53:03,317 Dad! 1882 01:53:04,069 --> 01:53:05,903 I think he saw me. 1883 01:53:07,448 --> 01:53:08,865 Alan! 1884 01:53:09,366 --> 01:53:11,742 You can hear me. Don't pretend. 1885 01:53:12,453 --> 01:53:13,661 Do I have to come and fetch you? Alan! 1886 01:53:13,745 --> 01:53:14,787 Shut up, will you? 1887 01:53:14,872 --> 01:53:16,456 - Alan! - Stop it! 1888 01:53:16,540 --> 01:53:18,583 - Come here this instant. Come on! - But, Dad! 1889 01:53:18,667 --> 01:53:19,876 Come on. 1890 01:53:32,055 --> 01:53:33,139 You went with him, then? 1891 01:53:33,223 --> 01:53:35,099 What else could I do? 1892 01:53:35,184 --> 01:53:36,726 It was weird. 1893 01:53:36,810 --> 01:53:39,228 I mean, it turned into follow the leader. 1894 01:53:39,313 --> 01:53:41,397 Dad trying to look impressive, and me, 1895 01:53:41,482 --> 01:53:43,649 I suppose, thinking I ought to copy him. 1896 01:53:43,734 --> 01:53:45,526 It was absolutely stupid. 1897 01:53:45,903 --> 01:53:47,862 We stood at the bus stop, like we were three people in a queue, 1898 01:53:47,946 --> 01:53:49,739 who didn't know each other. 1899 01:53:51,742 --> 01:53:53,993 We must have stayed like that for five minutes. 1900 01:53:54,077 --> 01:53:55,828 I tried to speak, I said, 1901 01:53:55,913 --> 01:53:58,498 I've never been in there before in my life. 1902 01:53:58,582 --> 01:53:59,749 Never. 1903 01:54:00,542 --> 01:54:01,751 Honest. 1904 01:54:03,128 --> 01:54:04,504 Jill tried. 1905 01:54:04,796 --> 01:54:06,005 It's true, Mr. Strang. 1906 01:54:06,089 --> 01:54:09,592 It wasn't Alan's idea to go there at all. It was mine. 1907 01:54:09,718 --> 01:54:12,178 I'm not shocked by films like that, I just... 1908 01:54:12,262 --> 01:54:14,639 Think they're silly, that's all. 1909 01:54:15,474 --> 01:54:17,141 Bus wouldn't come. 1910 01:54:17,601 --> 01:54:19,310 We stood, we stood. 1911 01:54:20,103 --> 01:54:22,396 And then suddenly, he spoke. 1912 01:54:22,481 --> 01:54:25,191 It felt like it was somebody else talking for him. 1913 01:54:25,275 --> 01:54:27,777 I would like you to know something, 1914 01:54:28,111 --> 01:54:29,529 both of you. 1915 01:54:32,449 --> 01:54:33,824 Hey! 1916 01:54:39,790 --> 01:54:42,667 I came here tonight to see the manager. 1917 01:54:43,377 --> 01:54:46,587 He asked me to call on him for business purposes. 1918 01:54:48,799 --> 01:54:51,259 I happen to be a printer, miss... 1919 01:54:53,679 --> 01:54:54,804 The picture house needs posters. 1920 01:54:54,888 --> 01:54:58,307 That is entirely why I'm here, to discuss posters. 1921 01:55:00,185 --> 01:55:03,980 And while I was there, I happened to glance in, and I saw... 1922 01:55:05,065 --> 01:55:07,900 I can only say that I am going to complain to the council. 1923 01:55:07,985 --> 01:55:10,236 I had no idea they showed films like this. 1924 01:55:10,320 --> 01:55:13,281 I'm certainly going to refuse my services. 1925 01:55:13,615 --> 01:55:15,116 Yes, of course. 1926 01:55:17,160 --> 01:55:19,495 So long as that is understood. 1927 01:55:19,663 --> 01:55:20,997 Perfectly. 1928 01:55:31,717 --> 01:55:33,342 Come along, Alan. 1929 01:55:35,804 --> 01:55:36,846 No. 1930 01:55:39,182 --> 01:55:42,059 No fuss, please. Just... just say good night to the young lady. 1931 01:55:42,394 --> 01:55:45,605 No, I'm stopping here. I've got to see her home. 1932 01:55:46,231 --> 01:55:47,356 It's proper. 1933 01:55:49,276 --> 01:55:51,193 Hmph. Very well. 1934 01:55:51,737 --> 01:55:54,071 I'll see you when you choose to return, then. 1935 01:55:57,200 --> 01:55:58,951 Very well. Yes. 1936 01:56:14,676 --> 01:56:15,718 Terrible. 1937 01:56:15,802 --> 01:56:16,886 What was? 1938 01:56:16,970 --> 01:56:18,512 His face. 1939 01:56:18,805 --> 01:56:20,306 He was scared. 1940 01:56:20,724 --> 01:56:21,849 Scared of me. 1941 01:56:35,405 --> 01:56:37,323 We've got to walk. 1942 01:56:40,619 --> 01:56:42,370 It's four miles. 1943 01:56:46,500 --> 01:56:47,708 Yes? 1944 01:56:47,876 --> 01:56:49,752 What were you thinking? 1945 01:56:51,254 --> 01:56:53,381 It was like I'd been fooled. 1946 01:56:54,257 --> 01:56:57,426 Like I was the only person who didn't know. 1947 01:56:59,012 --> 01:57:01,389 Every man in the street, everyone I've ever seen, they all do it. 1948 01:57:01,473 --> 01:57:02,765 All of them, they're not just dads. 1949 01:57:02,849 --> 01:57:05,267 They're all people with pricks. 1950 01:57:05,686 --> 01:57:08,854 And my dad, he's not just a dad either. He's a man with a prick, too. 1951 01:57:08,939 --> 01:57:10,356 He's nothing special. 1952 01:57:10,440 --> 01:57:14,110 Nothing special at all. Just a poor old sod on his own. 1953 01:57:14,611 --> 01:57:17,029 He goes off at night and does his own secret thing, 1954 01:57:17,114 --> 01:57:19,949 which no one will know about, just like me. 1955 01:57:20,075 --> 01:57:21,701 You were happy at that second, weren't you, 1956 01:57:21,785 --> 01:57:23,411 when you thought about your dad? 1957 01:57:23,537 --> 01:57:25,204 Other people have secrets, too. 1958 01:57:25,288 --> 01:57:26,747 Not just you. 1959 01:57:27,916 --> 01:57:28,958 Yes. 1960 01:57:29,042 --> 01:57:31,460 And you felt free, didn't you? 1961 01:57:31,545 --> 01:57:33,546 Free to do almost anything. 1962 01:57:33,630 --> 01:57:34,672 Yes. 1963 01:57:37,217 --> 01:57:38,968 What's in your head? 1964 01:57:40,137 --> 01:57:41,679 Her eyes. 1965 01:57:42,639 --> 01:57:44,432 I keep looking at them, because I really want... 1966 01:57:47,018 --> 01:57:48,686 I really wanted... 1967 01:57:50,897 --> 01:57:53,274 To look at her breasts? 1968 01:57:54,151 --> 01:57:55,526 Yes. 1969 01:57:57,696 --> 01:57:59,321 I love your eyes. 1970 01:58:01,324 --> 01:58:03,325 Her face was so warm. 1971 01:58:05,036 --> 01:58:06,954 You want her very much? 1972 01:58:08,165 --> 01:58:09,123 I can't! 1973 01:58:09,207 --> 01:58:10,791 - Go on. - I can't! 1974 01:58:10,876 --> 01:58:12,293 Of course you can. You're doing wonderfully. 1975 01:58:12,419 --> 01:58:13,586 Don't make me, please. 1976 01:58:13,670 --> 01:58:16,672 Don't think, just answer. Come on, Alan. 1977 01:58:19,968 --> 01:58:22,011 Where are you now, Alan? 1978 01:58:24,681 --> 01:58:27,683 Cabbages, with the moon on them. 1979 01:58:28,185 --> 01:58:29,602 Like steel. 1980 01:58:31,897 --> 01:58:34,940 All the country, like it's been steel-plated. 1981 01:58:37,027 --> 01:58:39,445 I know absolutely where we're going. 1982 01:58:39,529 --> 01:58:40,863 Absolutely. 1983 01:58:42,073 --> 01:58:43,783 And I can't stop it. 1984 01:58:43,867 --> 01:58:45,326 What? 1985 01:58:46,036 --> 01:58:47,119 Nothing. 1986 01:58:47,204 --> 01:58:48,704 Come on, then. 1987 01:58:50,248 --> 01:58:52,208 Where do you go now? 1988 01:58:52,292 --> 01:58:53,876 Into his temple? 1989 01:58:54,252 --> 01:58:55,961 His holy of holies? 1990 01:58:56,880 --> 01:58:59,548 What else can I do? 1991 01:59:54,729 --> 01:59:56,146 Are you all right? 1992 01:59:56,231 --> 01:59:57,857 Why? 1993 01:59:57,941 --> 01:59:59,149 You look weird. 1994 02:00:10,287 --> 02:00:11,620 Come here. 1995 02:00:31,182 --> 02:00:35,644 Hello. 1996 02:00:39,524 --> 02:00:41,609 Good things come in threes. 1997 02:00:47,115 --> 02:00:48,449 What's the matter? 1998 02:00:49,659 --> 02:00:50,784 Alan? 1999 02:00:52,162 --> 02:00:53,829 What is it? Say. 2000 02:00:58,543 --> 02:01:00,419 Yes, all right, leave. 2001 02:01:13,433 --> 02:01:15,559 Take your sweater off. 2002 02:01:20,190 --> 02:01:21,982 I will, if you will. 2003 02:02:04,234 --> 02:02:05,901 You're beautiful. 2004 02:02:07,779 --> 02:02:09,488 So are you. 2005 02:02:28,049 --> 02:02:30,884 She put her mouth in mine. 2006 02:02:32,804 --> 02:02:37,975 It was lovely. 2007 02:02:39,310 --> 02:02:41,478 What did you do then? 2008 02:02:42,105 --> 02:02:43,689 I put it in her. 2009 02:02:43,773 --> 02:02:45,899 - Yes? - I put it in her. 2010 02:02:46,776 --> 02:02:48,193 - You did? - Yes. 2011 02:02:48,903 --> 02:02:50,779 - Was it easy? - Yes. 2012 02:02:51,072 --> 02:02:52,114 Describe it. 2013 02:02:52,198 --> 02:02:53,282 I told you. 2014 02:02:53,366 --> 02:02:54,867 What, exactly? 2015 02:02:55,160 --> 02:02:56,702 - I put it in her. - Did you? 2016 02:02:57,495 --> 02:02:58,704 - Yes. - Did you? 2017 02:02:58,872 --> 02:03:00,205 - All the way. - Did you, Alan? 2018 02:03:00,290 --> 02:03:03,167 All the way, I shoved it. I put it in her all the way. 2019 02:03:03,251 --> 02:03:04,376 - Did you? - Yes. 2020 02:03:04,502 --> 02:03:05,586 - Did you, Alan? - Yes! Yes! 2021 02:03:05,670 --> 02:03:07,046 Tell me the truth, Alan. Did you? 2022 02:03:07,130 --> 02:03:08,422 Fuck off! 2023 02:03:12,635 --> 02:03:14,678 What was it? 2024 02:03:14,888 --> 02:03:17,973 You couldn't, though you... wanted to very much? 2025 02:03:18,516 --> 02:03:20,225 I couldn't see her. 2026 02:03:20,852 --> 02:03:22,061 What do you mean? 2027 02:03:22,145 --> 02:03:23,395 Only him! 2028 02:03:24,272 --> 02:03:26,982 Every time I kissed her, he was in the way. 2029 02:03:27,067 --> 02:03:28,734 - Who? - You know who! 2030 02:03:29,944 --> 02:03:31,612 When I touched her, I felt him. 2031 02:03:31,696 --> 02:03:34,490 His side under me, waiting for my hand. 2032 02:03:34,574 --> 02:03:36,408 I refused him. I looked... 2033 02:03:36,493 --> 02:03:38,827 Looked right at her, and I couldn't do it. 2034 02:03:40,288 --> 02:03:43,749 When I shut my eyes, I saw him at once, the streaks on his belly. 2035 02:03:44,209 --> 02:03:46,168 I couldn't feel her flesh at all. 2036 02:03:47,170 --> 02:03:48,420 I wanted the foam... 2037 02:03:48,505 --> 02:03:49,755 Off his neck, 2038 02:03:49,839 --> 02:03:52,508 not flesh, hide, horse hide. 2039 02:03:54,511 --> 02:03:56,470 And I couldn't even kiss her. 2040 02:04:07,315 --> 02:04:08,774 - Hello? - No. 2041 02:04:11,861 --> 02:04:15,781 It's all right. 2042 02:04:16,449 --> 02:04:17,908 I don't mind. 2043 02:04:18,618 --> 02:04:20,202 Really, I don't. 2044 02:04:22,288 --> 02:04:23,372 Alan? 2045 02:04:25,416 --> 02:04:26,834 - Look at me. - Get out. 2046 02:04:27,001 --> 02:04:28,293 - What? - Out! 2047 02:04:30,421 --> 02:04:32,256 There's nothing wrong. 2048 02:04:33,383 --> 02:04:34,758 Believe me. 2049 02:04:35,635 --> 02:04:37,010 Please, believe me, there's nothing at all wrong. 2050 02:04:37,095 --> 02:04:38,345 Get out! 2051 02:04:45,895 --> 02:04:47,354 Listen to me. 2052 02:04:48,773 --> 02:04:51,775 Why don't we just sit down for a bit and talk? 2053 02:04:51,860 --> 02:04:53,068 Please. 2054 02:04:53,862 --> 02:04:55,737 - Just talk? - Please. 2055 02:04:59,826 --> 02:05:02,369 Look, Alan, there's nothing wrong, you know. 2056 02:05:02,453 --> 02:05:04,079 It happens sometimes. 2057 02:05:07,333 --> 02:05:09,543 It really doesn't matter. 2058 02:05:09,752 --> 02:05:13,505 Well, you tell anyone, just you tell and see, that's all. 2059 02:05:13,590 --> 02:05:15,716 What do you think I am, Alan? 2060 02:05:15,800 --> 02:05:17,426 I'm your friend. 2061 02:05:26,436 --> 02:05:27,519 Do you want me to go, then? 2062 02:05:27,604 --> 02:05:28,812 Get out! 2063 02:05:48,541 --> 02:05:50,167 Equus. 2064 02:05:54,130 --> 02:05:55,297 Equus. 2065 02:06:05,433 --> 02:06:08,852 Friend. 2066 02:06:09,604 --> 02:06:11,313 Equus the merciful. 2067 02:06:12,190 --> 02:06:13,565 Forgive me. 2068 02:06:14,484 --> 02:06:16,485 It wasn't me, not really me. 2069 02:06:16,986 --> 02:06:18,487 Take me back. 2070 02:06:18,738 --> 02:06:20,948 I'll never do it again, I swear, please. 2071 02:06:22,242 --> 02:06:23,617 Please. 2072 02:06:24,285 --> 02:06:26,578 And he? What does he say? 2073 02:06:26,663 --> 02:06:28,789 "Mine. You're mine. 2074 02:06:29,749 --> 02:06:32,084 "I am yours, and you are mine. 2075 02:06:32,168 --> 02:06:35,337 "I see you. I see you, always, 2076 02:06:35,546 --> 02:06:36,964 "everywhere, forever." 2077 02:06:37,048 --> 02:06:38,507 "Kiss anyone, and I will see. 2078 02:06:38,841 --> 02:06:40,717 "Lie with anyone, and I will see. 2079 02:06:40,802 --> 02:06:41,885 Ahh! 2080 02:06:41,970 --> 02:06:43,053 "And you will fail, Alan. 2081 02:06:43,137 --> 02:06:44,763 "Forever and ever you will fail. 2082 02:06:45,598 --> 02:06:47,474 "You will see me, and you will fail. 2083 02:06:48,268 --> 02:06:51,144 "The Lord thy God is a jealous God." 2084 02:06:51,229 --> 02:06:52,729 He sees you, Alan. 2085 02:06:52,814 --> 02:06:54,940 He sees you, forever and ever, Alan. 2086 02:06:55,024 --> 02:06:57,192 He sees you. He sees you. 2087 02:06:57,277 --> 02:07:01,363 Eyes, white eyes all round. Eyes, like flames coming, coming. God sees. 2088 02:07:01,447 --> 02:07:03,699 God sees. My God hast seen! 2089 02:07:09,455 --> 02:07:10,497 No. 2090 02:07:14,252 --> 02:07:15,794 No more, Equus. 2091 02:07:28,308 --> 02:07:29,641 Thou, God, 2092 02:07:31,185 --> 02:07:32,394 seest... 2093 02:07:35,481 --> 02:07:36,732 Nothing. 2094 02:07:45,908 --> 02:07:47,284 Nothing! 2095 02:08:26,115 --> 02:08:28,784 Here I am. Find me. Find me. 2096 02:08:29,285 --> 02:08:30,952 Kill me. Kill me. 2097 02:08:31,287 --> 02:08:33,121 Find me, and kill me. 2098 02:08:33,206 --> 02:08:34,289 Kill me! 2099 02:08:34,374 --> 02:08:35,415 Find me! 2100 02:08:35,500 --> 02:08:36,541 And kill me! 2101 02:08:36,626 --> 02:08:38,126 Here I am. Here I am. 2102 02:08:38,252 --> 02:08:40,295 Find me. Kill me. 2103 02:08:40,421 --> 02:08:43,965 Find me and kill me. 2104 02:08:44,425 --> 02:08:46,385 Find me and kill me! 2105 02:08:49,847 --> 02:08:53,350 Kill me! 2106 02:08:55,186 --> 02:08:56,269 Argh! 2107 02:09:09,992 --> 02:09:11,034 Alan. 2108 02:09:11,119 --> 02:09:12,077 Alan. Alan. 2109 02:09:13,329 --> 02:09:14,413 Breathe. Breathe in. 2110 02:09:15,540 --> 02:09:17,040 Calm, Alan. Calm. Calm. 2111 02:09:18,167 --> 02:09:19,209 Calm. 2112 02:09:19,293 --> 02:09:20,752 Now breathe in, deep. 2113 02:09:21,462 --> 02:09:22,546 Deep. 2114 02:09:22,713 --> 02:09:23,839 Breathe in. 2115 02:09:23,923 --> 02:09:25,465 Out. In. 2116 02:09:26,676 --> 02:09:28,176 Out. In. 2117 02:09:29,011 --> 02:09:30,053 Out. 2118 02:09:30,138 --> 02:09:31,930 Come on. Come on, that's a good boy. 2119 02:09:32,014 --> 02:09:34,641 Keep it going. In. Out. 2120 02:09:35,059 --> 02:09:37,102 In. Out. 2121 02:09:38,688 --> 02:09:40,355 Keep it going. Keep it going. 2122 02:09:40,523 --> 02:09:42,107 Keep it going. 2123 02:09:42,191 --> 02:09:44,609 Easy, now. Easy, now. There. 2124 02:09:44,986 --> 02:09:46,069 There. 2125 02:09:46,154 --> 02:09:48,155 It's all over now, Alan. All over now. 2126 02:09:49,866 --> 02:09:52,325 He'll go away now. You'll never see him again. 2127 02:09:52,410 --> 02:09:54,911 You'll never see him again, I promise you. 2128 02:09:55,079 --> 02:09:57,581 There'll be no more bad dreams. No more awful nights. 2129 02:09:57,665 --> 02:09:59,166 Think of that. 2130 02:09:59,292 --> 02:10:02,335 You're going to be well. I'm going to make you well. 2131 02:10:04,005 --> 02:10:05,630 I promise you. 2132 02:10:05,715 --> 02:10:07,382 You just trust me. 2133 02:10:07,717 --> 02:10:09,009 Trust me. 2134 02:10:09,635 --> 02:10:10,802 Just trust me. 2135 02:10:10,887 --> 02:10:12,095 Trust me. 2136 02:10:13,723 --> 02:10:15,390 Now trust me, Alan. 2137 02:10:19,228 --> 02:10:20,729 You lie back. 2138 02:10:20,980 --> 02:10:22,230 Lie back. 2139 02:10:54,889 --> 02:10:56,056 Sleep. 2140 02:10:57,433 --> 02:10:58,808 Just sleep. 2141 02:11:00,186 --> 02:11:01,811 You've earned it. 2142 02:11:03,272 --> 02:11:04,648 Sleep, Alan. 2143 02:11:05,608 --> 02:11:06,775 Sleep. 2144 02:11:08,110 --> 02:11:09,361 Remember, 2145 02:11:10,363 --> 02:11:12,030 he'll go away now. 2146 02:11:12,532 --> 02:11:14,533 I'm going to make you well. 2147 02:11:16,744 --> 02:11:20,956 Sleep. 2148 02:11:54,198 --> 02:11:55,657 I'm lying to you, Alan. 2149 02:11:58,786 --> 02:12:01,204 He won't really go that easily, 2150 02:12:02,164 --> 02:12:05,083 just clop away, like some nice old carthorse. 2151 02:12:08,004 --> 02:12:11,756 No, when Equus leaves, if he leaves at all, it'll be with your... 2152 02:12:11,882 --> 02:12:14,217 Intestines in his teeth. 2153 02:12:15,761 --> 02:12:17,137 And I don't 2154 02:12:17,722 --> 02:12:19,639 stock replacements. 2155 02:12:21,767 --> 02:12:23,810 The boy's in pain, Martin. 2156 02:12:24,729 --> 02:12:26,354 Yes. 2157 02:12:26,647 --> 02:12:29,065 But you can take it away. 2158 02:12:29,150 --> 02:12:30,775 Yes. 2159 02:12:31,068 --> 02:12:34,112 Then that has to be enough for you. 2160 02:12:34,530 --> 02:12:35,864 All right. 2161 02:12:36,073 --> 02:12:38,491 I'll take it away. What then? 2162 02:12:38,868 --> 02:12:41,911 He'll feel himself acceptable. What then? 2163 02:12:41,996 --> 02:12:44,956 You think feelings like his can be simply reattached, 2164 02:12:45,041 --> 02:12:48,335 like plasters stuck on other objects we select? 2165 02:12:48,711 --> 02:12:49,794 I mean, look at him. 2166 02:12:49,879 --> 02:12:53,590 My desire might be to make of this boy an ardent husband, a caring citizen, 2167 02:12:53,674 --> 02:12:56,426 a worshipper of abstract and unifying God. 2168 02:12:56,510 --> 02:13:00,221 My achievement, however, is more likely to make a ghost. 2169 02:13:01,974 --> 02:13:04,684 I'll heal the rash on his body. 2170 02:13:04,769 --> 02:13:08,688 I'll erase the welts cut into his mind by flying manes. 2171 02:13:08,773 --> 02:13:11,274 And when that's done, I'll put him on a metal scooter, 2172 02:13:11,359 --> 02:13:13,985 and send him puttering off into the concrete world, 2173 02:13:14,070 --> 02:13:16,154 and he'll never touch hide again. 2174 02:13:17,198 --> 02:13:21,117 Hopefully, he'll feel nothing at his fork but approved flesh, 2175 02:13:21,202 --> 02:13:24,371 I doubt, however, with much passion. 2176 02:13:28,042 --> 02:13:29,668 Passion, you see, 2177 02:13:30,336 --> 02:13:32,420 can be destroyed by a doctor. 2178 02:13:34,340 --> 02:13:36,132 It cannot be created. 2179 02:13:41,847 --> 02:13:44,265 You won't gallop anymore, Alan. 2180 02:13:45,309 --> 02:13:46,935 Horses will be quite safe. 2181 02:13:48,604 --> 02:13:50,855 You'll save your money every week, 2182 02:13:50,940 --> 02:13:53,483 and change that scooter for a car, 2183 02:13:53,776 --> 02:13:56,152 and spend glorious weekends 2184 02:13:56,320 --> 02:13:57,821 grooming that. 2185 02:13:58,781 --> 02:14:00,323 You'll pop round to the betting shop 2186 02:14:00,408 --> 02:14:03,660 and put the odd 50 pence on the nags, 2187 02:14:04,453 --> 02:14:06,579 quite forgetting that they ever meant anything more to you 2188 02:14:06,664 --> 02:14:09,916 than bearers of little profits and little losses. 2189 02:14:10,543 --> 02:14:13,962 You will, however, be without pain, 2190 02:14:15,339 --> 02:14:17,590 almost completely without... 2191 02:14:19,677 --> 02:14:20,802 Pain. 2192 02:14:23,639 --> 02:14:24,848 And now, 2193 02:14:26,434 --> 02:14:27,642 for me, 2194 02:14:29,770 --> 02:14:31,312 it never stops, 2195 02:14:32,565 --> 02:14:34,315 the voice of Equus, 2196 02:14:35,317 --> 02:14:36,901 out of the cave. 2197 02:14:38,362 --> 02:14:42,615 "Why me? 2198 02:14:43,701 --> 02:14:44,993 "First... 2199 02:14:46,328 --> 02:14:47,996 "Account for me." 2200 02:14:50,332 --> 02:14:51,666 How can I? 2201 02:14:54,295 --> 02:14:56,087 In an ultimate sense, 2202 02:14:56,881 --> 02:14:58,965 I cannot know what I do in this place. 2203 02:15:00,801 --> 02:15:02,844 Yet I do ultimate things, 2204 02:15:03,846 --> 02:15:05,597 irreversible things. 2205 02:15:07,808 --> 02:15:09,017 And I... 2206 02:15:10,269 --> 02:15:14,355 I stand in the dark with a blade in my hand, 2207 02:15:15,316 --> 02:15:16,983 striking at heads. 2208 02:15:19,361 --> 02:15:20,612 I need... 2209 02:15:21,322 --> 02:15:24,115 More desperately than my children need me, 2210 02:15:24,200 --> 02:15:26,367 a way of seeing in the dark. 2211 02:15:26,994 --> 02:15:28,620 What way is this? 2212 02:15:28,746 --> 02:15:30,413 What dark is this? 2213 02:15:31,040 --> 02:15:34,000 I cannot call it ordained of God! 2214 02:15:34,084 --> 02:15:35,835 I cannot go so far! 2215 02:15:41,884 --> 02:15:43,468 I will, however, 2216 02:15:43,886 --> 02:15:46,387 pay it so much homage. 2217 02:15:49,558 --> 02:15:51,726 There is now, in my mouth, 2218 02:15:52,436 --> 02:15:55,730 this sharp chain. 2219 02:16:00,319 --> 02:16:02,111 And it never comes out. 153475

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