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00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:04,421
upbeat music
2
00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:07,632
It's Showtime tonight
3
00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:09,843
[Blair]Previously on
"Black Monday"...
4
00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:10,760
Roger!
5
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:13,805
dramatic music
6
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,183
So you're really
going all in, huh?
7
00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:18,810
Bought the ring,
closed on the house.
8
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,104
So I hear you're having
a little cash flow problem.
9
00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:22,480
What would you say
if you could fix it
10
00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:25,025
by working with Blair's most
hated rivals in the process?
11
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,735
You gotta sell your soul.
12
00:00:26,776 --> 00:00:29,112
If Pfaffashions
goes public without a hitch,
13
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:31,573
KokoMo Co Records stays yours.
14
00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:32,782
To you gettin' out
of the clink.
15
00:00:34,659 --> 00:00:36,828
Mo! You came!
16
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,121
There's something
I've been dying to ask you.
17
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:39,748
Can it wait?
-Hmm? What?
18
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:40,874
We've done enough talking.
19
00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,709
Get your ass in here.
20
00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:47,005
Janet Jackson's "Control"
21
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:50,550
This is a story about control.
22
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,802
My control.
23
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:54,763
Control of what I say.
24
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:57,849
Control of what I do.
25
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,643
And this time,
I'm gonna do it my way.
26
00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:03,688
ethereal synth music
27
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:09,861
I hope you enjoy this
as much as I do.
28
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:12,155
Are we ready?
29
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,698
I am.
30
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,951
'Cause it's all about control.
31
00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:20,538
And I've got lots of it.
32
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:23,333
upbeat synth music
33
00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:25,293
What the fuck?
34
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,586
Guys, gather 'round.
35
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:27,670
Quick! Quick! Quick!
36
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:29,631
The only thing I ever
wanna see you eating
37
00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:30,507
is me out.
38
00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:32,383
Did you hear that, Jonathan?
39
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:33,927
Is this a joke?
40
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:35,970
A moment on the lips,
41
00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,806
a lifetime on the hips.
42
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,015
You look like shit.
43
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:40,642
Ladies, perfect.
44
00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:43,394
Gentlemen,
you could take a cue.
45
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,188
Eyes down here.
46
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:48,066
We have Topless Tuesdays
coming up...
47
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:50,610
...and you're not ready.
48
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,029
Mmm--ugh.
49
00:01:53,071 --> 00:01:54,572
This caviar tastes like dick.
50
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:55,657
-Speaking of--
-Hey, Tiff.
51
00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:56,825
I don't know
how to say this, but--
52
00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:58,743
Sound it out, dummy.
53
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:03,790
Sound...it...
54
00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:07,377
...out!
55
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,844
What the hell
are you doing here, Keith?
56
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:18,138
Oh, me?
57
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:22,100
What am I...doing here?
58
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,228
What am I doing here?
59
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:29,816
What am I doing...
60
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,067
here?
61
00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,152
-That's what we--
-That's what we asked.
62
00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,528
What are you doing here?
63
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,905
It's simple. I'm here...
64
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,741
to clean this fucking place up!
65
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:43,246
Which I realize is confusing
66
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,956
-based on the mess I just made.
67
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:49,627
Point is, old Keithy
is finally in charge now,
68
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:53,173
and it's about goddamn time.
69
00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:54,549
Seriously, Tiff,
I really need--
70
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,885
Shut the fuck up, pretty boy.
71
00:02:56,926 --> 00:03:01,014
Pfaffashions goes public
in 12 weeks!
72
00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:03,558
It's my job to make this
73
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,562
the hottest piece of ass...
74
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:08,646
I have ever seen,
75
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:11,024
that Wall street
has ever seen,
76
00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,108
financially speaking,
77
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,819
so I'm here to trim the fat.
78
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,279
You're a little late for that
79
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,156
'cause we just had
that conversation.
80
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,490
Thanks, but no thanks.
81
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,659
We keep it pretty tight
around here--most of us.
82
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,952
Oh, you're keeping it tight?
83
00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:25,914
With your Dom and your caviar.
84
00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:28,082
You don't know what tight is.
85
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:31,836
I am gonna show you...
86
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,130
the tightest thing
you have ever...
87
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,216
-What's happening?
-...experienced in your life.
88
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,343
Okay, all that to say
89
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:43,598
we are not gonna waste
another single cent
90
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,975
on fuckin' big...
91
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:48,895
buffets...
92
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:53,066
and that smoking-hot...
93
00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:55,693
chafing dishes, okay?
94
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,904
The fuck are you talking about?
95
00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:58,947
I don't know, okay?
96
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:00,114
Look, I practiced this at home
97
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,324
last night
in front of the mirror.
98
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,492
I did not expect
to be surrounded
99
00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:04,577
by a bunch of fucking
Playgirl Buddies.
100
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:05,578
Guys, you gotta listen--
101
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:06,955
-Shh!
-Zip.
102
00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,540
Tiff, you said the IPO was
gonna be a great thing for us.
103
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:10,583
I know, and it is.
104
00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:13,795
-Let me handle this, Corkie.
-Okay. I'm getting worried.
105
00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:16,256
-Listen here, Queef.
106
00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:19,342
This is our business,
and you're not the boss.
107
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,761
-Au contraire. I am the boss.
108
00:04:21,803 --> 00:04:23,263
Why don't you peruse
that contract
109
00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:24,347
you signed
with Leighman Brothers
110
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,890
when you decided to go public?
111
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,518
'Cause it's gonna tell you,
you answer to me.
112
00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:30,728
-What?
-Look, Tiff, you gotta listen--
113
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,146
What is it, Giancarlo?
114
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,232
Blair's been shot,
and he's in a coma!
115
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,443
-I--oh, God.
116
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:42,407
Huh. Was not expecting that.
117
00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,704
I have to go
to the hospital right now.
118
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:49,539
And as much as I wanna continue
119
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,958
this really important
conversation,
120
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,876
I have to get
by Blair's bedside.
121
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,712
Of course. Go.
122
00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:58,506
It's times like these...
123
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:02,218
...that make you realize, like,
how unimportant
124
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:05,930
things like money
or saving money really are.
125
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,015
Mmm.
126
00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:08,891
Fuck you, God!
127
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,852
I don't know
when I'm coming back!
128
00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:13,271
Blair!
129
00:05:15,064 --> 00:05:18,109
warm sentimental music
130
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,504
Dawny.
131
00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:41,799
Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn.
132
00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:43,551
Dawn-Dawn.
133
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,553
-Dawn-Dawn Dawn-Dawn-Dawn-Dawn.
134
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:46,804
God damn.
135
00:05:49,223 --> 00:05:51,100
Talk about crust issues.
136
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:56,522
That side. What is that?
137
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,235
All right, let's get that.
138
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:05,365
You looking nice
for the moment coming.
139
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,243
-Yo, what's up?!
-Okay--shit!
140
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:10,828
Calm down! What the fuck?
141
00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:13,164
-It's Mo. It's Mo.
-Oh...
142
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,375
-Don't run up on me like that.
-All right.
143
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:17,418
My cellmate used to Jill off
to me at night.
144
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,212
"Jill off"?
145
00:06:19,253 --> 00:06:20,463
That's a weird term.
146
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:22,840
So that's like jacking off
for a girl?
147
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,342
-Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.
148
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,514
Portable X-ray, ER bay one.
149
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,272
Blair.
150
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,817
Blair?
151
00:06:40,858 --> 00:06:42,777
It's Roger. Can you hear me?
152
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:48,699
Hi, you.
153
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,618
Blair, oh, my God.
154
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:52,954
How are you?
155
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,747
Not so hot.
156
00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:57,875
Unlike you.
157
00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,545
-You're hot.
158
00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:02,839
Yeah, it's good to see you too.
159
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,758
I got shot.
160
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,760
Can you believe that?
161
00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,932
Roger...
162
00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:16,060
I'm sorry,
I didn't mean for things
163
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:19,063
to end the way they did.
164
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,566
Where did it go so wrong?
165
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:24,694
That's what I'm here
to help you figure out.
166
00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,904
Oh, I--I need that. Ow!
167
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:30,950
Um, I don't know if you are
actually qualified to make--
168
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,077
there goes the catheter!
169
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,246
Come on, Big B.
170
00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:40,168
Wait, wait, wait. Am I dead?
171
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:41,210
Not yet.
172
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dramatic music
173
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,631
Oh...
174
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,595
Oh...
175
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,269
Man, I've been dreaming
of all the shit
176
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,979
I was gonna get up to
my first day out.
177
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,147
-Right?
-Yeah.
178
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,356
-Like a horse-drawn carriage...
179
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:04,484
...or maybe a nice picnic
in Central Park,
180
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:05,693
or hey, let's shoot up
to the top
181
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,111
of the Empire State Building,
huh?
182
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:08,988
Look out over everything
you've been missing.
183
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,156
Uh, no.
No?
184
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,282
I just got out of prison,
185
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:12,325
not a plane from Arizona.
186
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:13,993
I wanna fuckin' party!
187
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,495
What happened to you, Mo?
188
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,038
Nothing happened to me, okay?
189
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:18,206
Mo can party
with the best of them.
190
00:08:18,247 --> 00:08:19,290
I got the arrests to prove it,
191
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,666
-both cardiac and otherwise.
192
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:23,336
Okay, good, so look, let's call
your coke guy, tell him
193
00:08:23,377 --> 00:08:25,296
to meet us at the club
with two eight balls,
194
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,048
a bib, and a diaper,
'cause tonight,
195
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,050
I am gonna make you
puke and duke.
196
00:08:29,091 --> 00:08:30,343
-Classic.
197
00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:32,678
-Oh, speaking of classics...
-Hmm.
198
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:36,140
...why don't we start off
by going by Cedar Tavern?
199
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,850
For old times' sake,
you know what I mean?
200
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,811
We can get a nice base going,
talk about whatever, whatever,
201
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,231
and then we'll hit the club
to celebrate
202
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:45,358
you getting out of prison.
203
00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:46,400
-Okay.
-Okay.
204
00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:49,237
-Yeah. I don't wanna be Bias'd.
-Biased?
205
00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:51,072
You mean biased
against my plan?
206
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:52,490
No, uh, Len Bias'd.
207
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,283
You know, I don't wanna
come out the gate too hard,
208
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,035
-and then I might...
-Oh...my God.
209
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,704
You did get hard in prison,
didn't you?
210
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:01,082
Sure enough.
Our open mic night was violent.
211
00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:03,167
-Christ.
212
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,211
Actually, yeah.
213
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:06,712
Let's grab a bite first.
214
00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:08,297
But they got olives
and cherries and shit
215
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:09,382
at Cedar Tavern.
216
00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:11,759
No, I want real food.
I'm fucking starving.
217
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,095
Okay, no, this'll still work.
Tell you what.
218
00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:15,304
We'll go by
the Russian Tea Room,
219
00:09:15,346 --> 00:09:17,431
grab some to go,
then head up to the park,
220
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:19,642
-spread a nice blanket, and--
Nigga.
221
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:20,851
What are we,
fucking teddy bears?
222
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,687
Why do you keep trying
to have a picnic so bad?
223
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:25,189
I-I just want your first meal
on the outside
224
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,649
to be nice, memorable,
you know?
225
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:27,858
Whatever. Fuck a nice meal.
226
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,403
All I ate was five-star shit
in the joint.
227
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:32,238
Jesus. But you know what?
228
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,199
You know what I was craving
really bad?
229
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,493
A hot dog from that cart
outside the Jammer Group.
230
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,078
Come on, it's right
around the corner.
231
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,246
Great. This'll still work.
232
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,664
We'll grab a bottle,
a couple of dogs,
233
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,499
uh, find a nice bench
somewhere.
234
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,875
Like a picnic?
235
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,627
Yeah, sure, like a picnic.
Let's do that.
236
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:47,753
What the fuck don't you get?
237
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:49,547
I'm not eating
on the goddamn ground with you.
238
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,424
I said a bench!
239
00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:53,467
Since when is a bench the fu--
fuck it.
240
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:54,635
-Jesus!
-It's gonna be a great day.
241
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:57,346
Yeah, it is, if you'd
fucking let a picnic go!
242
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:02,393
What the fuck? It's my parents.
243
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,979
You don't have to whisper,
Blair, they can't hear you.
244
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,022
What is this?
245
00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,607
Well, it's like
I said, I'm here to help you
246
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:10,359
figure out
where it all went wrong.
247
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,403
Oh, I get it.
248
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,488
It's like Scrooge McDuck.
249
00:10:14,530 --> 00:10:16,282
Or that movieScrooged.
250
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:18,326
Or my favorite episode
ofFamily Ties.
251
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:20,494
Or the Charles Dickens classic,
A Christmas Carol,
252
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:21,621
that those are based on.
253
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,331
Ugh, we get it, you read.
254
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:25,082
soft sentimental music
255
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,460
God, it's so real.
256
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:30,171
I can even smell
my mom's old lasagna.
257
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:31,505
I used to love that stuff.
258
00:10:31,547 --> 00:10:32,548
Have a bite.
259
00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:33,966
I can do that?
260
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:39,597
Do you know what date
this is from, exactly?
261
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,641
Because at a certain point,
my dad's dinners
262
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:44,518
started having
an added ingredient
263
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,020
that I'm sort of allergic to.
264
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:48,939
The glass you shaved
into his food until he died?
265
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:50,900
Yeah, that's it.
266
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,235
For what it's worth,
he fucking deserved it.
267
00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,488
It doesn't matter.
You can't get hurt here.
268
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:58,157
Well, I mean,
if he's not gonna finish it.
269
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,453
Hey, Dad, I won
my a cappella competition!
270
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,789
How about a sport?
271
00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:11,545
Fuck this. I'm outta here.
272
00:11:11,587 --> 00:11:12,755
Wait, Blair, it's important
273
00:11:12,797 --> 00:11:14,423
you try to remember
how you felt.
274
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:17,468
Yeah, I remember. Trust me.
275
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,928
Too well.
276
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:21,847
Quick question, Roger.
277
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:24,600
I can fly anywhere in the world
right now, right?
278
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:28,104
Like, throughout all of history
and into the future,
279
00:11:28,145 --> 00:11:29,980
and no one can see or hear me?
280
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:32,942
And I can eat whatever I want,
and do whatever I want,
281
00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:34,819
and there's no consequences
whatsoever?
282
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,737
Well, yes, technically,
but that doesn't solve--
283
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,281
Okay, so let's say I wanted
to get some steak frites
284
00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:41,283
at L'Arpège in Paris
and eat it in,
285
00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:43,285
I don't know,
John-John's shower.
286
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:44,412
I could do that, right?
287
00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:45,996
Sure, but that defeats
the purpose of--
288
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:48,332
Then why in the fuck
would I wanna stay here
289
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,000
in my dad's house of horrors?
290
00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:52,044
I think, ideally, the point is
you learn a lesson before--
291
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:53,629
-Bye-bye!
-Okay.
292
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:54,755
Whoo!
293
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,174
He's always
such a little bitch.
294
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:03,013
Welcome to KokoMo Co Records.
295
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,348
So what do you think, Dawn?
296
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,350
Oh, wow. And it's only jazz?
297
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,685
Yeah. Yeah. All jazz.
298
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,521
Hmm, sorry, but to me,
jazz always sounds
299
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,357
like someone just shoved
a bunch of instruments
300
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,567
-down the stairs.
Hmm.
301
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:16,360
That's 'cause you have
shitty taste in music.
302
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:17,778
Yeah. And in men.
303
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,239
Oh, fuckin' Spencer, right?
304
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,240
No, I'm telling you,
305
00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,658
jazz is gonna make
a big comeback,
306
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,786
and I am the guy
to find the artists to do it.
307
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,913
Well, the artists
better be hot and young,
308
00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:30,416
'cause if it's not on MTV,
it's not doing shit,
309
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,960
which sounds a little bit
like my life right now.
310
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,671
Oh. Look at my office.
311
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:39,216
Hey, so Dawn, what--
what is your plan?
312
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,218
I don't know.
I don't have a clue.
313
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:44,597
I mean, I spent my entire life
busting my ass to get here,
314
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,515
and now, literally,
315
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:49,268
it's illegal for me
to ever trade again.
316
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,145
And I'm a felon.
317
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,271
-And I'm--
318
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:54,440
A disgrace to my entire family.
319
00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,317
Oof. That's the trifecta.
320
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:59,528
Yeah, so I guess I'm kind of
playing it by ear.
321
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:04,074
But come on, Mo.
322
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:05,451
You don't miss it at all?
323
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:06,660
Nope.
324
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,120
I'm telling you, us getting
kicked off the street
325
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,539
was the best thing that ever
happened in our lives, Dawn.
326
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:13,042
-Trust.
-Yeah, well.
327
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:15,002
We did have some good times,
though.
328
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:18,214
We had some great times.
Dawn, we make great partners.
329
00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:20,424
-Uh, yeah, well.
330
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,884
Except we weren't partners.
331
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,385
-That shit again?
332
00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:26,222
Listen, I wish I could go back,
okay?
333
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,516
I would make you my partner.
334
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:31,685
You were right; I was wrong.
I'm sorry.
335
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,356
You know, that's all I ever
wanted to hear.
336
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,108
-You really mean it?
-Yeah, I mean it.
337
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:40,528
Dawn, I would do anything
to make it up to you.
338
00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:42,655
I would go back and change
a bunch of shit if I could
339
00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,490
with work and with us.
340
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:45,825
Trying to do both
at the same time
341
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:47,451
-just fucked 'em both up.
-I know.
342
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:50,204
We need to pick a lane, huh?
343
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,872
We need to pick a lane.
344
00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:56,043
I mean, so if you were to,
345
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,796
you know, pick a lane,
346
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,589
what lane would you pick?
347
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,716
I'm so glad you asked, Momo.
348
00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:04,051
Me too.
349
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:07,721
-I need a job, you know, bad...
-Yeah. Mm-hmm.
350
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:09,098
...if I'm gonna be able
to stay out.
351
00:14:09,139 --> 00:14:11,767
Well, you need a job,
you got a job.
352
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,060
Of course, Dawn, I told you,
353
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:15,646
I'll-I'll do anything--
anything to make it right.
354
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,022
You got it.
355
00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:22,111
Oh, Mo, God, you are the best.
356
00:14:22,152 --> 00:14:24,405
Mm. Mm. Mm.
357
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:27,366
-Oh, thank you.
Yeah.
358
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,618
All right, now, come on,
let's go to Cedar Tavern
359
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,620
and get you shit-faced
and shit-butt.
360
00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:34,748
-You're gonna shit on yourself!
361
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,500
Oh, you're really stuck
on the shit thing, huh?
362
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:38,669
Oh, yeah. Let's go.
-Can't wait.
363
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,421
Keith, Keith, please.
364
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:41,672
Look into your heart.
365
00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,425
You and I share at least
one testament, don't we?
366
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:45,676
You.
367
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,386
-You're fired.
Hey!
368
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:48,679
You can't do this, Keith.
369
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,681
Thank G-G you're here.
370
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,850
I think I made it
abundantly clear
371
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:56,562
I can do whatever
the fuck I want.
372
00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:57,980
And if that means firing
373
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:00,941
every useless face jock
in this joint--
374
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,986
I'm not talking about them,
I'm talking about me.
375
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:07,239
My company credit card
was just...
376
00:15:08,532 --> 00:15:10,200
-...was just...
-Oh.
377
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:13,329
-Tiff.
Ugh.
378
00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:14,121
...was declined.
379
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:16,832
-At Victoria's Secret, yeah.
380
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,000
Do you know
how embarrassing it is
381
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,753
to take a thong off
that you just said
382
00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:22,004
you were gonna wear out?
383
00:15:22,046 --> 00:15:24,173
It was the worst moment
of my life.
384
00:15:24,214 --> 00:15:26,884
Well, your husband
was just shot today.
385
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,761
And I thought you were
gonna go visit him,
386
00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,387
but you went shopping.
387
00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:34,141
The point is, we brought you on
to take our company public,
388
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:35,559
not ruin our lives.
389
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,811
I mean, Chris here has been
with Pfaffashions
390
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:38,896
from the beginning.
391
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,024
Yeah, you can't just
throw him out like trash!
392
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,692
Then who's gonna
throw out the trash?
393
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:46,695
Actually, Tiff,
let me give you a choice.
394
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:48,447
Would you rather keep Chris
395
00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,574
or keep your
company credit card?
396
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,660
Get the fuck outta here, Chris.
You heard the boss.
397
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,620
Yeah, that was a test.
You failed.
398
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:55,704
You don't get either.
399
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:58,123
This is not your personal
ATM machine.
400
00:15:58,165 --> 00:15:59,458
His name is Chris.
401
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,585
I meant the company. Ew.
402
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,544
What does that mean?
403
00:16:02,586 --> 00:16:04,171
Ass to mouth.
404
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:05,047
Oh, Tiff.
405
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,632
I made the accountants
aware that,
406
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:08,759
from now on,
you are not authorized
407
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,053
to spend a single cent
408
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:14,682
unless it's
a legitimate business expense.
409
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,058
Case closed. Good night.
410
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,601
Please don't do this to me,
Keith.
411
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:19,728
You can have sex with Chris.
He goes hard.
412
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:23,315
Or Giancarlo!
He's my bottom bitch!
413
00:16:23,357 --> 00:16:24,608
Oh, Tiff!
414
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,777
I need a couple
of shots of tequila!
415
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,404
You guys celebrating something?
416
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:30,781
My new freedom and my new job.
417
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,616
-Right, Mo Mo?
-Oh, yeah.
418
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,743
Can't wait to start
working together again.
419
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:37,246
I mean, not really
working together.
420
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:38,872
What do you mean?
421
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:43,085
I mean, I don't plan on
actually working at your label.
422
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:45,963
I just need a company name
to satisfy my parole officer.
423
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,841
Being employed is a condition
of me staying out, so--
424
00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:49,842
was that not clear?
425
00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:51,510
No, it wasn't clear!
426
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:52,886
You said, "Pick a lane."
427
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:54,972
I think we'd both rather
walk into a lane of traffic
428
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,724
than ever work together again,
am I right?
429
00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:59,393
Yes, you're right. Agreed.
I mean, fuck that lane.
430
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,729
So, uh, if my PO calls,
431
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,272
you'll lie and say
I work there?
432
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:04,398
Dawn, of course.
433
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,274
-Come on.
434
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:06,692
Even though
you don't work there,
435
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:08,986
because we both agreed
that work is not the lane
436
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,154
that either of us would pick
437
00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:13,115
between the two lanes
as discussed.
438
00:17:13,157 --> 00:17:15,200
Oh, God,
I missed your crazy ass.
439
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:18,245
Oh, I missed you, too, Dawn.
You have no idea.
440
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:21,081
Ah, come on, come on.
Let's toast.
441
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:26,962
-To us.
-To us.
442
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:32,885
-Mmm.
-Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm!
443
00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:34,053
Can we have two more?
444
00:17:34,094 --> 00:17:35,512
Recently-appointed Congressman
445
00:17:35,554 --> 00:17:37,723
-Dawny.
-Oh, my God!
446
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:38,766
Fuck.
447
00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,310
Blair just got shot!
-The fuck?
448
00:17:41,351 --> 00:17:42,686
Remains in a coma...
449
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:43,979
Oh!
Oh, shit!
450
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,689
[newscaster]After
the assassination attempt.
451
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,775
Sources say
he might not make it.
452
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,360
What are you doing down there?
453
00:17:50,402 --> 00:17:51,820
Praying.
454
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:54,740
Oh, yeah. Blair.
455
00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,202
Blair?
456
00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:59,286
Blair?
457
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:03,040
Roger, you go here?
458
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,708
I've been looking
all over creation for you.
459
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:05,709
Where have you been?
460
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,795
Uh, everywhere.
461
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,047
I watched Bob Fosse choreograph
All That Jazz.
462
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,715
That way he fucked around,
it should've been called
463
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:12,925
All That Jizz.
464
00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:15,010
And then I fucked around
and got a triple double
465
00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,845
at the '91 finals!
466
00:18:16,887 --> 00:18:18,806
And then I fucked
most of my high school,
467
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,682
which led
to a teensy killing spree.
468
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:21,767
This was not supposed to be
469
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,936
Blair and Ted's
Excellent Adventure.
470
00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,479
It was supposed to be
a deeply personal journey
471
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:27,481
through your life so you can
learn from your mistakes
472
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,732
in time to save your soul.
473
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,567
Okay, well, it was actually
474
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:32,152
more like that movieWestworld
475
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,737
than it was
like Bill and Ted's,
476
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,656
on account of all the killing
and fucking.
477
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,659
But I hear you,
and I will learn
478
00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,452
all the lessons, Roger.
479
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,121
I promise.
480
00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,622
It's just...
481
00:18:43,664 --> 00:18:46,291
I just figured,
since I got shot,
482
00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,627
it would be okay
if I, you know,
483
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:50,212
had a little fun first.
484
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,798
We have a little fun first.
485
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:54,883
Dinosaur blood?
486
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:57,177
The actual cake
Marie Antoinette said
487
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,720
"let them eat cake" about?
488
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:01,306
I mean, it's pretty dry,
but it's history!
489
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,934
This has to be
against the rules.
490
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:05,727
Fuck the rules.
491
00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:07,229
I missed you.
492
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,815
This might be our only chance
to be together again.
493
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:11,483
You've been
in the shower forever!
494
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:12,442
Oh, look, look, look!
495
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:14,444
We're gonna be late, John-John.
496
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,782
That's big, right?
497
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,826
Talk about vote for Kennedy.
498
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:24,163
I do like history.
499
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:25,622
Well, then, get over here.
500
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:29,585
Try this.
501
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,170
A peasant made it.
502
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:32,296
Hmm.
503
00:19:32,337 --> 00:19:34,673
Hmm.
Mm-hmm.
504
00:19:35,757 --> 00:19:38,010
I missed this.
505
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:39,136
Us.
506
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,888
soft piano music
507
00:19:40,929 --> 00:19:42,181
Me too.
508
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,642
And I meant what I said before.
I--
509
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:49,479
I didn't mean for it
to end like that.
510
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:51,315
I didn't wanna hurt you.
511
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:55,444
I'm sorry, Roger.
512
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:56,653
I still love you.
513
00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,578
Fuck.
514
00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:08,207
Yeah.
515
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:11,835
Oh, God.
516
00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:28,685
Mm.
517
00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:32,564
Okay. All right, come on.
That was nice, though.
518
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:33,857
No, you--no, you--no!
519
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,275
You've gotta--you can't.
What if this is it?
520
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:36,276
What if you mean if this it?
521
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:37,277
What if this is...
522
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,362
How's he gonna fucking know
523
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:39,571
if I went and said goodbye
to him or not?
524
00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:41,907
-He'll know! I'll know!
-Get out of there. Fuck!
525
00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:46,620
Hey. Hey, Blair. Buddy.
526
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:47,746
Aw.
527
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:51,667
-All right, put her there.
528
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,795
Get--you-you hang in there,
buddy.
529
00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:57,089
You're gonna be fine.
530
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:58,131
Bye, Blair!
531
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,476
No, we gotta stop.
I can't do this.
532
00:21:09,851 --> 00:21:11,395
Wait, didn't you just do it?
533
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:13,230
Yes, but that was just
to teach you a lesson
534
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,148
-about selfishness.
-Hmm.
535
00:21:15,190 --> 00:21:18,026
At some point in your life,
you stopped caring
536
00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:19,236
about anybody but yourself.
537
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,321
That's what today
was supposed to be about,
538
00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:23,490
you learning that
and vowing to change
539
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:25,284
in a real enough way
to earn a chance
540
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:26,910
to make things right.
541
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:29,496
Instead, you just yanked it
to John-John.
542
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,248
Look! It doesn't fit.
543
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,667
Ugh. Talk about getting off.
544
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,085
I told you, Rog. Pay up.
545
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,629
I still can't believe
Nordberg fromNaked Gun
546
00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:38,505
killed two people.
547
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:39,881
No, no, no, it didn't fit.
548
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:41,800
-They must acquit.
549
00:21:41,842 --> 00:21:43,093
Oh, I know, let's go
to Brentwood
550
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,594
the night of the murder--
double or nothing.
551
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:45,512
This has to stop.
552
00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,055
If you don't wanna
learn your lesson,
553
00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:48,598
that's up to you,
but I can't be part of it.
554
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,183
-Goodbye, Blair.
-Wait, you're right.
555
00:21:50,225 --> 00:21:51,727
I'm ready to learn
whatever lesson
556
00:21:51,768 --> 00:21:53,312
I'm supposed to!
557
00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:58,442
I deserve to go to hell.
558
00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:02,487
Been here the whole time.
559
00:22:02,529 --> 00:22:04,823
-Tiff, I want a divorce.
-Okay, fine.
560
00:22:04,865 --> 00:22:06,241
I was gone for ten minutes
561
00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:09,911
to get my paws and claws done
for your big awakening.
562
00:22:09,953 --> 00:22:10,954
Or your funeral.
563
00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:12,873
But either way, it was for you.
564
00:22:12,914 --> 00:22:15,917
Well, this is for you too.
565
00:22:15,959 --> 00:22:17,252
I'm tired of living a lie.
566
00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:19,421
I'm tired of hurting people.
567
00:22:19,463 --> 00:22:22,007
I-I wanna find someone
I can make happy,
568
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:23,050
and you deserve that too.
569
00:22:23,091 --> 00:22:25,427
-Ooh, they're still wet.
-Sorry.
570
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,137
I'm gonna quit my job.
571
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,056
I'm gonna do something
I actually like
572
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:31,183
that makes the world
a better place.
573
00:22:31,224 --> 00:22:33,352
So, sorry,
this has nothing to do
574
00:22:33,393 --> 00:22:34,770
with me spending
your first day in a coma
575
00:22:34,811 --> 00:22:37,731
shopping and at the spa
andHoney, I Shrunk the Kids?
576
00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:40,859
'Cause as I say it out loud,
it does sound really bad.
577
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:42,069
-How was that movie?
Oh.
578
00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:44,154
If you live,
you have to see it.
579
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,614
I've always liked Rick Moranis.
580
00:22:45,655 --> 00:22:46,239
I love him.
581
00:22:46,281 --> 00:22:47,240
He has leading man energy.
582
00:22:47,282 --> 00:22:49,868
-Big dick energy.
583
00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:51,745
-I love you.
-Aw
584
00:22:51,787 --> 00:22:52,746
And I want you to be happy.
585
00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:55,957
And from now on,
I'm gonna be good and true
586
00:22:55,999 --> 00:22:58,335
and never do
anything selfish again.
587
00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,920
There he is. The golden boy.
588
00:22:59,961 --> 00:23:01,463
I was worried
for a second, champ.
589
00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:03,090
Who are all these white men?
590
00:23:03,131 --> 00:23:05,133
Oh, only a who's who
of the RNC.
591
00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:06,343
I thought the RNC hated me.
592
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:08,553
They did, until your
assassination attempt.
593
00:23:08,595 --> 00:23:11,348
And now you are polling
through the roof, sir.
594
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,557
Buckle up, Pfaff.
595
00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:15,435
You're in for a rocket ride
to the moon.
596
00:23:16,144 --> 00:23:18,021
Well, unfortunately,
you're too late.
597
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:20,565
I'm quitting politics for good.
598
00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:23,068
And there is nothing
you can offer us
599
00:23:23,110 --> 00:23:24,361
that will change that.
600
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:28,824
How about unlimited power,
sex, and money?
601
00:23:28,865 --> 00:23:32,077
dramatic music
602
00:23:32,327 --> 00:23:33,954
-I mean, we can kick it around.
-It's worth a conversation.
603
00:23:33,995 --> 00:23:35,914
It's--maybe just a chat.
604
00:23:35,956 --> 00:23:38,083
We're gonna come around to yes.
605
00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:39,918
Oh, jeez.
606
00:23:41,211 --> 00:23:43,713
Hey, be honest with me, Dawn.
Did I do that to him?
607
00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:45,632
What? No.
608
00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:47,926
No! He made his choices.
609
00:23:47,968 --> 00:23:49,261
-Yeah.
And shit happens.
610
00:23:49,302 --> 00:23:52,597
Life is about doing what
and who you want at all times
611
00:23:52,639 --> 00:23:55,851
because you never know
when your time is up.
612
00:23:55,892 --> 00:23:57,602
Hmm.
613
00:23:57,644 --> 00:23:59,229
Ah, shit.
614
00:23:59,271 --> 00:24:01,481
Look, this place is just
gonna have to fuckin' do.
615
00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:02,983
Yeah, it has a charm to it.
616
00:24:03,024 --> 00:24:04,443
Besides, all I really
need to do
617
00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:06,236
is just get fucked up.
618
00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:08,488
Dawn, Dawn, just listen to me
for a second.
619
00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:09,948
I am tired of wasting time.
620
00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:11,283
Right?
621
00:24:11,324 --> 00:24:13,452
Y-you are the closest person
in my entire life.
622
00:24:13,493 --> 00:24:15,120
You're like family to me.
623
00:24:15,162 --> 00:24:17,998
Oh, God, Mo, you are my family.
624
00:24:18,039 --> 00:24:19,124
God, I love you.
625
00:24:19,166 --> 00:24:20,208
I love you too.
626
00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:21,501
Which is why I don't
wanna keep fucking
627
00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:23,086
wasting all this time
trying to be
628
00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:24,421
all these different things
for each other
629
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,173
when we should just
be focused on being
630
00:24:26,214 --> 00:24:28,633
the one thing that we know
we were both meant to be.
631
00:24:28,675 --> 00:24:29,217
Yes.
632
00:24:29,259 --> 00:24:30,343
A couple...
-Friends.
633
00:24:30,385 --> 00:24:31,761
-...of friends.
Oh, my God.
634
00:24:31,803 --> 00:24:32,637
A couple of friends.
635
00:24:32,679 --> 00:24:34,389
Took the words right out
of my mouth.
636
00:24:34,431 --> 00:24:35,557
-Yes! I mean...
637
00:24:35,599 --> 00:24:37,184
...it's been staring us
in the face
638
00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:39,060
-this whole time.
-Mm-hmm.
639
00:24:39,102 --> 00:24:41,062
Uh, point of clarity, though.
640
00:24:41,104 --> 00:24:42,606
Last night, that was...
641
00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:44,524
-Great. Fuckin' amazing.
-Yes.
642
00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:46,276
Fuckin' outstanding.
-Yes.
643
00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:47,486
But that's the kind of shit a--
644
00:24:47,527 --> 00:24:49,988
a real couple of friends
can do.
645
00:24:50,030 --> 00:24:52,866
You know, that's the benefit
of-of friends.
646
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:53,783
Yeah.
647
00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:55,952
They should come up
with a term for that.
648
00:24:55,994 --> 00:24:56,953
Friends with...
649
00:24:56,995 --> 00:24:58,497
-Uh, fucking.
Yes!
650
00:24:58,538 --> 00:24:59,956
Friends with fucking!
651
00:24:59,998 --> 00:25:01,500
Sure.
-God, that's good.
652
00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:03,293
Mm-hmm.
-That's good.
653
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:05,337
Plus, I just got out
of the joint, you know?
654
00:25:05,378 --> 00:25:06,630
-It was kinda urgent.
655
00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:09,299
I mean, there was no time
to teach some new guy
656
00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:12,010
all the codes when, hey,
you already know 'em.
657
00:25:12,052 --> 00:25:13,303
-I know the codes.
658
00:25:13,345 --> 00:25:15,180
Up, up, down, down,
left, right, left, right.
659
00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:17,224
-P, A, P, A.
-Pussy, ass, pussy, ass, start.
660
00:25:17,265 --> 00:25:18,558
-Finish.
661
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,435
We probably shouldn't
do that anymore.
662
00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:21,478
What? I didn't--
663
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:22,312
Besides, I don't want you
664
00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:23,855
falling in love with me again.
665
00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:28,693
Who-who needs that?
666
00:25:28,735 --> 00:25:31,404
-Oh, God, this feels great!
-Uh-huh.
667
00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:34,157
I mean, I feel so great.
I mean, not physically.
668
00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:35,450
No.
-I feel a little queasy.
669
00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:38,662
-Yeah.
-But emotionally, I feel great.
670
00:25:38,703 --> 00:25:40,539
Right there, yeah,
I'm right there with you.
671
00:25:40,580 --> 00:25:42,457
Oh, God, Mo.
672
00:25:42,499 --> 00:25:43,875
I gotta piss.
673
00:25:43,917 --> 00:25:45,877
Oh, okay. That's cute.
674
00:25:45,919 --> 00:25:47,170
Yeah.
675
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:50,048
Okay.
676
00:25:55,011 --> 00:25:56,388
Your lips were like
677
00:25:56,429 --> 00:26:00,308
A red and ruby chalice
678
00:26:01,351 --> 00:26:06,022
Warmer than a summer night
679
00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:08,483
Fuck.
680
00:26:08,525 --> 00:26:10,318
The clouds were like
681
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:14,739
An alabaster palace
682
00:26:14,781 --> 00:26:20,036
Rising to a snowy height
683
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:23,999
Each star its own
684
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:28,211
Aurora borealis
685
00:26:28,253 --> 00:26:32,382
Suddenly,
you held me tight
686
00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:36,344
And we saw
687
00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:41,182
The midnight sun
688
00:26:44,269 --> 00:26:46,146
Thank you all for being here.
689
00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:50,900
Getting shot has made me
realize so many things.
690
00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:54,029
-I wanna try to stand for this.
-No, honey.
691
00:26:54,070 --> 00:26:55,196
No. I have to.
692
00:26:55,238 --> 00:26:56,448
-Okay.
-Be my legs.
693
00:26:56,489 --> 00:26:57,574
He wants to stand.
694
00:26:57,616 --> 00:26:59,868
I wanna show
my would-be assassin that...
695
00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:02,287
...you did not win.
696
00:27:02,329 --> 00:27:03,788
Oh, my.
697
00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:06,791
You did not intimidate me.
698
00:27:07,709 --> 00:27:11,129
Getting shot has made me
realize...
699
00:27:11,171 --> 00:27:12,297
so much.
700
00:27:13,048 --> 00:27:14,633
For one...
701
00:27:15,216 --> 00:27:16,426
...it's not that bad.
702
00:27:19,262 --> 00:27:21,389
I mean, ho!
703
00:27:21,431 --> 00:27:23,350
-Gah-gah-gah, gah-gah-gah.
704
00:27:25,226 --> 00:27:27,479
Look at me! I'm fine.
705
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,648
Guns are nothing
to be afraid of.
706
00:27:29,689 --> 00:27:33,401
And two, this whole thing
could have been avoided
707
00:27:33,443 --> 00:27:36,404
if every American had a gun,
708
00:27:36,446 --> 00:27:39,783
which is why I am dedicating
the rest of my career
709
00:27:39,824 --> 00:27:42,160
to gun control, specifically...
710
00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:43,953
the abolishment of it!
711
00:27:43,995 --> 00:27:46,081
Hey, what in the literal fuck
is going on?
712
00:27:46,122 --> 00:27:48,833
$1 million went missing
from the company last night.
713
00:27:48,875 --> 00:27:50,126
I know it was you.
714
00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:51,211
I just don't know
how you did it.
715
00:27:51,252 --> 00:27:52,796
Did you know
political donations
716
00:27:52,837 --> 00:27:54,547
are a legitimate
business expense?
717
00:27:54,589 --> 00:27:57,384
And while politicians' salaries
are quite low,
718
00:27:57,425 --> 00:27:59,427
they can basically
use campaign funds
719
00:27:59,469 --> 00:28:01,638
as their own personal ATMs,
720
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:04,391
and I don't mean ass to mouth.
721
00:28:04,432 --> 00:28:05,558
Oh, Jesus.
722
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:06,810
Who the fuck is thinking that?
723
00:28:06,851 --> 00:28:08,228
-Some people.
-Okay, look.
724
00:28:08,269 --> 00:28:09,521
Did you know
725
00:28:09,562 --> 00:28:11,856
that this little
finance fund fraud
726
00:28:11,898 --> 00:28:14,067
-is gonna be a f-failure?
-Weak.
727
00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:16,653
And I'd like to thank
my wife Tiff and her company
728
00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:19,531
Pfaffashions for kicking off
my very first
729
00:28:19,572 --> 00:28:21,032
campaign finance fund
730
00:28:21,074 --> 00:28:22,117
for my reelection.
731
00:28:22,158 --> 00:28:23,118
Thank you.
732
00:28:23,159 --> 00:28:24,035
I love you, babe.
733
00:28:24,077 --> 00:28:24,994
I love you, babe.
734
00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:26,204
-Babe.
Babe, I love you more.
735
00:28:26,246 --> 00:28:27,205
Babe.
736
00:28:28,331 --> 00:28:30,333
-Whoo!
-Ooh, ooh!
737
00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:31,793
Oh! Oh!
She got me!
738
00:28:31,835 --> 00:28:33,336
-She got me!
739
00:28:35,338 --> 00:28:37,424
If Jesus had a gun,
he'd be alive today.
740
00:28:37,465 --> 00:28:39,926
rock music
741
00:28:39,968 --> 00:28:41,428
Yeah!
742
00:28:41,469 --> 00:28:46,224
And you'll still be there
743
00:28:46,266 --> 00:28:48,977
With me
744
00:28:49,018 --> 00:28:51,312
Oh
745
00:29:04,492 --> 00:29:09,038
Oh, till I found you
I never had
746
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:13,585
Someone to love me
in good times and bad
747
00:29:13,626 --> 00:29:18,590
Oh, till I found you
I never had
748
00:29:18,631 --> 00:29:21,801
Someone to love me...
56703
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