All language subtitles for The Main Event.English

[Liquid bubbling]

WOMAN: I hear they're gonna
cut it and put it
on the street.

MAN: No.

WOMAN: That's what I heard.

MAN: I love it in
its pure form.

WOMAN: Don't you think
they should dilute
it just a little?

MAN: Well, of course,
they'll have to.
It's so strong.

Very high quality.

Good stuff.

Yes.

KLINE: Do you realize how
much we could get
an ounce for this?

WOMAN: I think she's
a little crazy, myself.

Gets off smooth.

Climbs fast.

Cruising altitude.

Heaven.

I swear...

there's an orgy going
on inside my nose.
Gentlemen, have a smell.

Judy, something exciting
has happened. Send Mario and
Sheldon into my office.

JUDY: Right. David's
on the phone.

HILLARY: I'll have to
call him back.

What do you think?

-You've done it.
-Don't call you "the nose"
for nothing.

The formula's a lock.
I want top security until we
get the first shipment out.

Kline, destroy all of
our test batches,
and put our notes in the safe.

Congratulations.
I think we've got
another winner.

HILLARY: I mixed
two fragrances.
MOSS: She's crazy.

SHELDON: You can't.
One's for men,
the other for women.

HILLARY: We can.

We have to market this
thing properly,
because it's the one scent--

-Hillary!
-What?

-David says it's important!
-Okay, you don't have
to yell like that!

Put him on hold.
Tell him I'll be right there.

-Where was I?
-In a market with one scent.

This perfume is the only scent
that we can market that way.
Why?

It's the only one a man can
buy for a woman,
or for another man...

a woman can buy for a man
or for another woman.

Have I left anybody out?

-I'm glad you asked that.
-The important thing...

what does it smell like?

It smells like nothing you've
smelled before in your life.

-Is it good?
-Yes, it's totally new
and different.

What we have to sell,
the idea you have
to get across...

is that not a single flower
or animal had to lose
its life for it.

This is a fantastic slogan,
put it on your tape.

"Why smell like a flower
unless you want to shack
up with a beast?"

It's sensational!
I want you both to go away
to a very quiet place...

let your brains and
creative minds blossom
with original ideas...

and bring back what
I'm talking about. David,
is it personal or legal?

Never have your ex-husband
as your lawyer.

David, I'm sorry. What?

No, I have buyers at 3:00,
labels at 3:30, stoppers at
4:00. I can meet you at 6:00.

No, not at 5:00, I have a very
big meeting. Lots of people.
We're firming things up.

[High-energy music]

[Aerobics teacher counts]

TEACHER: Kick those heels up.
Energy, energy!

No wonder your husbands
are leaving you.

TEACHER: One, down,
two, three, four...

stretch up...

three, four...

and squat, two, three, four,
and reach those
fannies to the sky!

Here we go.

Those dimples belong on
your cheeks, not your behinds.

Roll that pelvis, it's good
for your sex life.

Everybody breathe,
or you're gonna pass out.

Move around, everybody,
get those arms up.

Have some fun with it.
You're going to feel good
and look good.

Get those heels up!
Sock it to them! Hit them!

[David whistles]

TEACHER: Put that elbow
down there!

Hillary, beautiful work.
Get your buttocks up!

Reach for the sky!
There we go.
You're hot, ladies.

HILLARY: David!

TEACHER: Come on, tight abs,
get it up there!

So this is the big meeting?

-How's it going?
-Fine. What are you
doing here?

There's a problem,
and I have to talk to you.

-I was going to meet you in
my office.
-It can't wait.

Shoot!

You know I can't talk
when you do that.

You never could, David.

That's really cute.
Come on, this is important.

More important than
firm inner thighs?

DAVID: Come on, Hillary.

HILLARY: No. Whatever it is,
I don't want to know.
I feel too good today.

We've got to talk, understand?
But not in here.

DAVID: This is a very
sensitive matter.

HILLARY: You've got
some disease you don't want
to talk about? Who is she?

DAVID: That's ridiculous,
I'm a lawyer.
I don't touch it.

That's the silliest thing
I've ever heard.

DAVID: We're getting
out of here.

HILLARY: Wait,
I forgot something.

Take it easy.

HILLARY: What's so important
that it couldn't wait until
after my pelvic press?

You're avoiding me.

I'm not. I told you I'd meet
you here at 6:00, and it's
five to. Any messages?

JUDY: I'm coming.
HILLARY: Thanks.

-Hillary, please. I have to
talk to you!
-I'm listening.

It doesn't look like
I'm listening, but I am.

I can read and listen
at the same time.

It's very difficult for me
to say what I have to say...

so I would appreciate
your undivided attention.

Hillary!

Sorry, I wasn't listening.

I don't know how to say this,
but life is funny.

Judy, what's taking
you so long?

JUDY: In a minute.

Just remember,
as long as you've
got your health...

you've got everything.

Let me see if I get
this straight, David.

You came here to tell me today
that life is funny...

and if you have your health,
you have everything.

Is there anything else
on your mind before
I can get back to work?

Walter Hines,
your business manager...

has embezzled all
of your money and
has left the country.

Judy, don't come in here now.

David, this is some kind
of joke, right?

Like when we were
first separated.

You had my home
robbed so I'd be scared
to live alone?

It's no joke, I promise.

-You're broke.
-It can't be!

I'm a wealthy woman!

I buy what I want.
Look at all my stuff.

I tip big. If I see a nickel
on the street,
I don't stop and pick it up.

Does that sound like
a woman who's broke?

Pick it up, Hillary.

JUDY: What's going
on in there?

What are you doing
here so late?

Don't you have a home life?
I can't afford to pay
you overtime.

This is a nightmare.

When I woke up this morning,
I was in a high tax bracket.

You're talking
ancient history.

You're about to enter
a new chapter in life.

I don't want to!

I like the chapter I'm in now.
In fact, I can't put
the book down.

DAVID: You can get a new book
as soon as you can afford one.

Why would Walter do that?
It's crazy!

He not only cleaned you out,
but all his clients,
millions of dollars.

How crazy is that?

Let's check this out.
Judy, get me Walter Hines.

Goddamn it! That girl is
never around when
you need her.

Always knocking off early!

I told you,
"Don't give him power
of attorney."

-Didn't I say that?
-Yes, yes.

Hi. Hillary Kramer here.
Let me speak
to Walter, please.

And he didn't leave a number
in South America?

[Conundrum-suggesting music]

HILLARY: David?
DAVID: What?

HILLARY: When you say
I have no money...

do you mean I have
to be careful at Saks,
or I can't afford toothpaste?

DAVID: You can always brush
your teeth at my house.

Look, this is what you owe,
and these are
your negotiable assets.

But unfortunately, this pile
has to go towards
paying off this pile.

This is what's left.

What's this?

Read it.

"Eddie 'Kid Natural' Scanlon."
A boxer?

I own a person?

Don't I own something
that doesn't eat?

I'm afraid that's you.

This is ridiculous.
You know I hate violence.

What am I doing with
a prizefighter?
I'm in the perfume business!

It's another tax scheme
of Walter's.

About four years ago,
you bought his contract.

He's cost you about $60,000.

That's great! $60,000.
Not even a goddamn
thank you note.

-What's that pile?
-This?

That's approximately
$350,000 in debts.

Where am I going to
get $350,000,
unless I sell my--

Why would you suggest
such a thing? It took me so
long to get where I am.

How else are you going
to pay all your bills and
stay out of jail?

[Fretful instrumental music]

[Car horns honk]

Thank you.

[Tires screech]

[Hillary shouts]

MAN 1: What's happening, mama?

MAN 2: Go get 'em, sweetheart.

MAN: 50 cents, miss.

It will cost you 50 cents
to look and $1 to work out.

50 cents, sure.

I'm just here to look.
Swear to God.

MAN: What's your problem?

Me? No problem.

I was just wondering
if you had a fighter
named Eddie Scanlon.

Are you pregnant?

No.

I'm thin as a rail. See,
no pregnancy here.
Strictly business.

-In the back.
-Thank you very much.

Just let them know
you're there.

And keep your hands
to yourself.

Right.

[Showers running]

I'm sorry.
I was just looking....

Not at you!

I was just looking
for Mr. Big.

Kid Big, Kid Natural.

Kid Natural. He's right
around the corner.
You can't miss him.

Thank you very much.

MAN 1: I want my money back,
man. He cheated.

[Speaking in Spanish]

MAN 2: There we go,
talking in Spanish.

HILLARY: Excuse me.

Which one of you guys
is Kid Natural?

I'm Kid Natural.

What are you talking about?
I'm Kid Natural!

I'm Kid Natural.
I'm the most naturalest
one here.

What's on your mind?

Which one of these guys
is Kid Natural?

You're looking at him.

You're Eddie "Kid Natural"
Scanlon, the fighter?

[Men laugh]

Yeah, in the flesh.
Why? You like fighters?

I don't know. They're okay.

Could I talk a little business
with you?

Business, of course.
Boys, could I have my office
back, please?

Yeah, okay, champ.

[Laughing]

All right. I'm listening.

Well, Mr. Natural--

Most people around here
call me "Kid." This is my
manager, Percy Washington.

Hello.

Most happy to meet someone
as lovely as you, miss.

HILLARY: Thank you.

It's nice to meet you both.
I'm Hillary Kramer.

Would you like
a drink of water or something?

No, thank you.
The reason I came is
to ask you--

How about some juice?

No, thank you.
Really. I'm fine.

Killer, come here.
I want you to meet somebody.

Say hello to Hillary Kramer.

-Well, I'm pleased
to meet you.
-Hello.

Good luck on Saturday, Killer.

Yeah, guess I'll do
a little redecorating.

Is he a fighter
and a decorator?

When did you ever meet
a decorator named Killer?

No, he's going to redecorate
somebody's face.

Can I get you a soda?

No, thanks.
I don't want anything.

Hillary Kramer.
Why does that name
ring a bell?

That's been on your paycheck
for the last four years.

Of course.
You own my contract.

-You're the lady from
Beverly Hills.
-In the flesh.

KID: Percy, the lady
from the checks.

How funny.

I thought you'd be much older,
55, 56, something like that.

It's awfully nice of you
to bring the money
down in person.

Yeah. Well.

I'm in this bind because
my business manager, remember
him, Walter Hines?

Very well.

He left town with all my
money, leaving me with nothing
but your contract.

-He couldn't fit you in
his suitcase.
-Walter skipped?

No wonder our check is late.

I guess there will be
no more money.

I'm afraid not, Mr. Scanlon.
You see...

since you've cost me
over $60,000,
I thought maybe you could...

do a little fighting for me
until I get back on
my feet again.

But that wasn't the deal.

What was the deal?

Very simple.

You pay my living expenses,
my training expenses...

plus a salary of
$250 a week...

and I guarantee Walter
that you lose money.

That was fine when
I had money to lose.

Now that it's all gone,
you can stop losing it
and start making it.

So when is our next fight?

I'm not a fighter.

You're not? You told me
you were fighter
when I first came in.

I was a fighter,
but I'm not a fighter anymore.

Do I look like a fighter?

No.

I don't?

I'm not.

What are you doing in a gym?

I'm hanging out. These are
my friends. They're fighters.
I'm not even in shape.

You look like you're
in shape.

I'm in shape,
but I'm not in shape.

It wouldn't be a good idea
for me to go into
the ring right now.

I haven't had a fight
in four years.

I'm not even a kid.

You saw Killer.

That's the kind of guy
I'd be up against.

Do you think I want him
to redecorate me?

My body could be badly
damaged by this.

Miss Kramer...

do you want my body
on your head for
the rest of your life?

No, I didn't think so.

You seem like a nice girl.

I didn't even know the deal.

-Good-bye, Mr. Washington.
-Good-bye, ma'am.

I'm sorry that
I can't continue to pay
your bills anymore.

That's all right.
It's not your fault.

If things pick up, I'll...

let you know.

-Good. You got a pencil?
-Sure.

I'll give you our address,
and if you come across some...

extra cash and feel in need
of our services....

I didn't mean to interrupt
your card game.

No problem.

-Irish Spring?
-What?

It's just the soap you use.

Good luck to you, sweetheart.

Good luck to you.

[Sentimental instrumental
music]

Come on, Hillary.
They're ready to
sign the papers.

If our gross next year
exceeds $27 million--

There she is.

Good morning.
How lovely you look.
So nice to see you again.

This is a great day for
Hillary Kramer and a great day
for Sinthia Cosmetics.

Sit down. If you'll just
sign right here.

This is the transfer of
all title to your company...

and an agreement not to work
in the industry for two years.

Maybe I could open up
something in disinfectants.

Nothing that smells,
otherwise no deal.

Just sign it.
It's the only way out.

It's not on the dotted line,
but it's legal.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Hold it, please.

[Radio plays rock song
about not crying]

[Bell rings]

HILLARY: Hello?
KID: We're up here.

HILLARY: Hello?

Remember me? Hillary Kramer?

From the gym, no money?

Oh, yeah.

We're fixing the roof.
The thumb leaks a little.

KID: If it's not one thing
around here, it's another.

So what brings you
to Long Beach?

I came to talk to you
about our contract.

You want a glass of water
or something?

-No, thank you. I want
to talk business.
-You remember Percy.

-Yes. Hello. How are you?
-And that's Frank Towland,
the carpenter.

Hello.

[Donna coughing]

And that's Donna Rochester,
a girl.

HILLARY: How do you do?
I'm in business
with your.... Him.

If I can direct your
attention, please, to
Paragraph B of this contract.

DONNA: What kind of business
is she in?
KID: I don't know.

Why don't you go home
and get ready for later?

DONNA: Are you trying to
get rid of me?

KID: No. I just don't want
you to get dirty.

I'm already dirty.

Beat it!

All right, I'm going.

Business?

Does she always smell
like a rose?

Yeah, nice.

So what brings you
to Long Beach?
Come on, I'll get you a beer.

HILLARY: No, thanks.
My lawyer has informed me--

-Did you tell anybody y
ou owned me?
-No.

Do me a favor and
don't tell anybody.

HILLARY: Why, are you ashamed
of being owned by a woman?

KID: Yeah.

Can I get you some tea?

That would be very nice.

We ran out. Let me get Percy.
He'll get some.

No, it's okay. I really don't
want any. If you will look
at this contract closely...

-you will see that you
were to fight--
-Come in and sit down.

You were supposed
to fight a minimum of
two fights a year...

for four years,
and since you didn't fight...

that puts you in
breach of contract.

Therefore, you owe me $57,300,
plus seven percent interest...

which brings it to
a grand total of $61,311.
I'll take a check.

I haven't got that money.
I put that money
into the business.

HILLARY: Are you okay?
KID: Yeah, I'm fine.

You want me to get you
a paper towel or something?

I'm fine. Sit down.

I don't understand,
Mr. Natural.

You own this place?

You told me you spent
all your time in a gym.

No, that's a very unhealthy
atmosphere. I can't spend all
my time in a gym.

I have to branch out, think
of my future. And this is it.

Don't tell me you spent
over $60,000
of my money on this!

-Did you see the glove when
you drove up?
-Almost immediately.

Do you think a driving school
in the shape of a glove
is a stock item?

I don't know any more
what I think.

I'd like to show
you something.

I had this custom built!
The money has been spent!

If you've spent it,
you'll have to fight.

How many times do
I got to tell you?

I'm not a fighter anymore,
I'm a businessman!

I have a contract
on a fighter,
not on a businessman!

If you want to get technical,
I own this glove place!

If I want to, I can tear
it down and sell it
for scrap leather!

It's not my fault
you've got a crook
for a manager!

And a crook for a fighter!

LUCY: Am I late for my lesson?
HILLARY: You can pay me.

I thought you said it was free
on account of last night.

Yeah, get in.

Watch who you're calling
a crook, okay?

What are you going to
do about it? Hit me?

It would be the first
honest thing you've
done in years!

KID: Not the brake! The gas!

HILLARY: I'm not finished
with you yet.

KID: Steer!

Use the accelerator, steer it!
Not like that!

DRIVER: Hey, watch where
you're going!

[Car honks repeatedly]

HILLARY: You think you can
stay in business without
me doing anything?

Right.

What are you doing?

LUCY: You said, "Right."

Not you! Her!

LUCY: I'm getting confused.

You can't get away with this.
You're going to have
to start fighting.

I told you, lady.
There's no way I'll fight!

And there's no way
I'll starve!

I've got two words for you,
and they are not
"Happy Birthday"!

-I've got the same two words
for you!
-Watch your mouth!

[Car horn honks]

-Are you all right?
-Yeah!

Good, because my lawyer
will be in touch with yours.

That's all right with me,
because I ain't got a lawyer!

[Classical music
in background]

[Knocking, doorbell buzzes]

Who is it? My husband
wants to know.

He's in the next room
cleaning his bazooka.

KID: Kid Natural and Percy.
Come on, open the door.

Just a minute.

Who let you up here?

The doorman used to be
a fighter. He let us in.

He's finished around here.

Funny, that's what
he said about you.

-Would you like to come in?
-Thank you.

How about a drink of
water or something?

PERCY: The Kid comes here
today with a heavy heart.

How about a glass
of Alka-Seltzer?

He didn't want to tell you,
but I thought you being
his manager...

you had a right to know.

HILLARY: What is it? Tell me.

He hasn't been totally
honest with you.

No kidding.

You've got to tell her, Kid.

You first.

-It was your last fight, Kid.
-It was the last time
I fought.

Yeah?

Go on.

I killed a man.

Dead killed?

Oh, my God.

His name was Billy Templeton.

We were fighting this
semi-wind-up in Fresno.

Going into the sixth round,
Percy said, "You're behind
on points, boy...

"go knock him out."

So I went out there smoking.

I hit him with rights, rights,
lefts, rights, lefts, rights.

Everything I did worked.

I couldn't miss,
but he didn't fall.

He must have been tangled up
in the ropes or something.
I don't know.

Finally, the referee
jumped in,
pulled me off him...

and Billy just slipped
to the canvas...

and lay there unconscious.

I was at his hospital room.
I stayed there for five days.

I was there when
the doctor came and told
his wife Billy was gone.

At his funeral,
I fell to my knees...

and I swore to his
5-year-old son, I said:

"I will never again use
these messengers of death."

One more thing.
He was my best friend...

also.

[Classical music continues]

-You almost had me, Kid.
-What?

I almost bought that.

Was the best friend part
a little too much?

You'll say anything to get
out of this, won't you?

What do you want me to say?
I'll say it:
I don't want to fight.

Then give me my money back.

Are you trying to ruin me?
I've been in boxing
my whole life!

I never had a sheriff come
for me. Not until you!

What is he talking about?

Knockout Driving Academy
has been served...

with a Temporary Restraining
Order. We're closed.

That's a shame.
Anything I can do?

Call off your goddamn lawyer
and tell him to call off
the goddamn law!

How do you like that?
David laced up the glove?

There's nothing left to do
but go back to fighting.

I've heard what some
fighters make. It can be very
profitable, maybe even fun.

Fun? What is the matter
with you? Why are you so
hot to have me beat up?

I am not hot to get
you beat up! I need you!
You're all I have!

I'm looking around,
and it's a little hard
to weep for you.

This will all be auctioned
on the 18th. You've got
to look at this positively.

We could be helping
each other.
We could be partners.

You know, you're crazy!

Never go into business
with a woman.

Really? I think
I'm saving your ass.

Because if I were a man,
I would've shot you
between the eyes!

-That sounds good.
-Not me.

HILLARY: I paid for you and
I'll stick with you! Anyway,
I think you need me, too.

That's great! Now I need her!

HILLARY: I think we should
start right away.

Percy, get him a fight.
I can make it any night
but Wednesday.

You're not leaving us
with much room
for negotiations.

See you in the ring!

-Can I ask you something?
-Sure.

-Do you live alone?
-Yeah.

It figures.

"My best friend, also."
How could you do
a line like that?

It just slipped out,
but I had her going
up until then.

You're the dumbest
white man I know.

Okay, here's what
we're going to do.

You get your license back.

We'll set up a fight
with the Bakersfield Bleeder.

It will be an easy workout
for you and the Bleeder.

He'll bleed all
over the place.

She's never been
to a fight before.

She'll get sick and disgusted
with the whole thing.

Then she'll give you
back your contract.

A woman just can't
take it like a man.

I knew this tax shelter
business was too
good to be true.

[Fast-paced
instrumental music]

-What's the matter with him?
-They switched fighters on us.

You mean we're not fighting
Mr. Mathison from Bakersfield?

No. We're fighting
Jackhammer Muldoon.

HILLARY: Is that Jack Hammer
or Jackhammer?

PERCY: Nobody's been able
to talk to him long
enough to find out.

Don't worry about me.
It's good to throw up
before the fight.

It helps the blood go to
the parts of the body
that need it most.

I feel great.

You have to tell me exactly
what I do after the Kid wins.

Do I just jump
into the ring...

or do I apologize to
the loser or maybe just
wave to the fans?

I'll be right back.

HILLARY: When will he stop
feeling sick?

PERCY: The minute he
gets knocked out.

[Hillary sighs heavily]

PERCY: Didn't I tell you,
my man? She ain't got
the stomach for it.

Free again! Thank
God Almighty. Free again.

It's a lot different
than on television.

Oh, my God.

-I hope this taught you
a lesson, child.
-It has. Get him in shape.

What? You're a goddamn
crazy woman!

It takes time and money
to get a fighter in shape.

The Kid ain't got the time,
and you ain't got the money.

I'll raise the money.

It'll take me a few weeks,
but we'll get better fights
with nicer people.

Oh, my God.

She's not giving up, Percy.

That's a problem.

[MOU=1]
Oh, my God.

You ought to do something
about that.

I'm cutting down.

What is that
"fight that never was"?

It was the biggest
amateur fight of the year,
four years ago.

The Pan Am Games.

He was supposed to fight
Hector Mantilla,
but it never came off.

How come?

They fought
outside the dressing
room instead.

They never got into the ring.

-You sure this is business?
-Yeah.

It's going to be awful,
raising money for
the Kid's training....

HILLARY: It's just business.

Because if it isn't...

I'm going to get
somebody to come over
and cut your tits off.

HILLARY: Now, look,
just don't be nervous.

I mean, do what everyone
else does.

If you have any trouble with
the forks, just watch me.

If you're worried about
how I'll be with your friends,
I can leave.

You're talking to Kid Natural.
I've been around
a little bit myself.

I've got manners I haven't
even used yet.
Ring the goddamn bell.

-Where have you been?
-It's a long way from
Long Beach.

-This is all for you,
you know.
-I know, David. I'm sorry.

This is Eddie "Kid Natural"
Scanlon.

So you're her fighter?

-So you're her husband?
-Ex-husband.

With a little luck,
I'll be her ex-fighter.

Anyway, it's great
to meet you, champ.

Actually, I never had
a shot at the title.

He didn't want to because
he killed his best friend
in the ring.

He was on the cover of
Sports Illustrated. He's had
14 straight knockouts.

If I had been knocked
out one more time,
it would have made 15.

That's too many.

So I went into driving
instruction instead.

He's a natural born fighter.
He has the largest fists
I've ever seen.

My head is too big.

They'd throw a punch anywhere
in the ring, and it'd always
hit my head.

At my driving school...

the only thing that could
affect my looks is if I were
to go through the windshield.

There isn't a mark on you.
You must do very well.

Sure. That's because I use
my mind and my body.

How's that?

I use my mind to give
the lesson, but I use my body
to drum up business.

HILLARY: Will you do me
a favor and just don't tell
Donna that you're my date.

-Why?
-I have my reasons.

Two good reasons.

Okay, I won't tell Donna.
I don't talk to her anyway.

I'm getting itchy.
Let's get out of here.

-What have you been doing
all night?
-Talking.

-Why are your business
cards all over?
-I've been talking business.

Your business is to sell
shares in yourself as a boxer.

That's your business.

Excuse me,
could I have your
undivided attention?

Please, everyone,
be kind enough
to take a seat...

and make yourselves
comfortable, all right?

Hillary, sweetheart.

First of all,
I want to thank you all
for coming tonight.

I guess it's no secret
what this night is all about.

Although I'll be working
out of a gym instead
of a perfume factory...

the Kid has
the same sweet
smell of success.

We're here tonight
to offer you...

10 points of the Kid's
contract for a mere...

$300 a point.

I'm certainly no fool.

I'm going to take advantage
of this opportunity.
I'll take one.

Thanks, David.
You're a very sweet man.

ALAN: Yes, that is
very sweet of you.

However, I'm sure I speak for
the rest of us when I say,
Hillary, that...

you shouldn't wash
your financial laundry
in public, so to speak.

Why don't you just shut up,
and let the lady talk?

Mr. Scanlon, please,
I've known Hillary
a lot longer than you.

Wait, it's okay.

This is a terrific idea,
folks.

You can make a lot of money
from a fighter.

Well, is anyone else
going to grab this...

wonderful opportunity?

Sweetheart, maybe
we should just wait a little
while, all right?

Take a few minutes,
think it over, have yourself
another drink, some cake.

There's plenty of dessert.

I'm really sorry.
Everybody just
keep it in mind.

-You want me to split
his head open?
-No, don't do that.

It's very sweet of you to want
to split his head open
on my behalf...

but I believe in handling
things in a much
more mature fashion.

If you'll excuse me,
I'm going to go to the ladies
room and cut off all my hair.

Mr. Scanlon...

I'm sorry if
I embarrassed you.

You embarrassed yourself, pal.

I always say what I feel.

I've always been intrigued
by prizefighting.

I'm a karate man, myself.
Seventh-degree black
belt for 12 years.

No shit?

You must be fast.

Very fast.

Karate depends on speed,
mental acuity and power...

unlike the more
brutish sport of boxing.

Maybe.

But if you run into a fighter
on a dark night, I wouldn't
stake my life on it.

Well, you're a fighter.

What do you think of this?

That's pretty good.

In Tokyo, where I studied...

we are considered samurai...

without swords.

This is something
I picked up in Long Beach.

I've got you, Mr. Samurai.

Just sit here.
I only tapped
your solar plexus.

The pain should go away
in about 10 minutes.

My card.

I bet you look really
cute in those little
karate pajamas.

HILLARY: Kid!

What are you doing out here?
Are you all right?

-I'm sorry I ruined things
for you.
-Not at all.

Everybody hates Alan Krane,
so we sold 8 out of 10 shares.

That's what I came
to tell you. Congratulations.

-No kidding?
-It worked.

-You've got nice hands.
-Thanks.

There are 31 bones
in the hand.

It's the most delicate
part of our body.

Fighters are very careful
to wrap their hands.

They weren't meant
for hitting.

Your hand is big.

-It's as big as mine.
-Big hands, yeah.

Nice extension.

Good muscle tone.

If you were a man,
you could be a fighter.

Feel those shoulders.
Big, beautiful.

What do you think you would
have been, a bantamweight?
Flyweight?

Would you mind
putting me down?

Sure.

And now, would you mind
taking your hands off my ass?

Thanks.

I think we should go back
to the party and celebrate.

-Is this a pass?
-I thought you wanted
to celebrate.

I said, "celebrate,"
not fornicate!

I love a woman
who talks dirty.

Let's forget that
ever happened.

I've got a memory
like an elephant.

And about as much style.

-You can't imagine
how this feels.
-Good?

No, terrible. You're breaking
my back. Please get off me.

Really?

Okay, all right. Thank you.

You don't have to do that.

Let's go back in before
you want to take me
to a sleazy motel.

That sounds good.

I'm not the sleazy-motel type.

What's wrong with right here?

I'm not the beach type either.
I'm not crazy about sand.

I'm not crazy about ants,
but I still go to picnics.

You're missing the point, Kid.

You're just not my type.

I mean...

you live in a glove, you know?

I wear them.

HILLARY: You like women.

I like men.

-What's the matter with you?
-I don't want to fool
around with you.

-Can I be honest with you?
-Sure.

You just don't turn me on.

I don't?

I'm glad we could be
straightforward about
it right at the start...

because you and me
are business, you understand?

You're not mad at me, are you?

Good.

So long, boss.

Where are you going?

Home.

HILLARY: I'll get the car.
KID: Don't bother.

But you don't have a ride.

I've never had any trouble
getting home from
a party in my life, cutie.

Percy!

Hi. So....

Where's our Kid?

He's getting dressed.
He'll be right out.

Great.

I bought some books
I thought might help.

I hope they're Bibles.

Who's that guy
in the white suit?

PERCY: That's the man.
Leo Gough, the biggest fight
promoter on the West Coast.

Really?

-Then I think we should
have a little talk.
-No, don't....

HILLARY: Excuse me.

Excuse me, please.

-Hello, Mr. Gough.
I'm Hillary Kramer.
-How do you do?

-I owned Le Nez Perfumes.
-Oh, yes.

-I'm a fight manager now.
-Really?

Interesting career move.

It's a long story.

I thought maybe you'd want
to use my fighter in
one of your shows.

You've got a fighter?

-What's his name?
-Kid Natural.

He can't fight.

Yes, he can.
He's got his license.

He's got a trainer,
he's got money to train with,
and trunks I've designed.

He's got me, and
I've got my license,
and I've got nice clothes--

Miss Kramer,
he's got everything
except the right hands.

He can't fight.
I'm sorry, Miss Kramer.

It was nice to meet you.
Now, if you'll excuse
me, please.

Well, how did it go?

-He showed definite
signs of interest.
-Really?

Yeah.

It must have been the walk.

HILLARY: You think so?
PERCY: Definitely.

HILLARY: Oh, time, time.

Are you all right?

I'm sorry about last night.
I guess I went too far.

Come on, talk to me.
I said I was sorry.

My mouth always gets me into--

PERCY: All right,
break it up, lover.

I guess that's what happens
when you fall for a fighter.

Luis, come over here, please.

Luis, this is Eddie.
Eddie, Luis.

Luis is going to go
a few rounds with you.
I want to see you work.

What is he, a welterweight?
I don't want to do any damage.

Don't worry about Luis,
he can take care of himself.

You just get in there
and work.

We want to take a look at you.

Anything you say, boss.

You can beat him easy, Kid.
He's so short.

HILLARY: Wait a minute, Kid.
Let me fix your sock here.

PERCY: Time.

HILLARY: Come on, Kid.
You can knock him out.

HILLARY: Here it is.

"The left hook is strictly
a short, secondary punch,
but often effective."

Use that on him, Kid.

Listen to this.

"If you kill the body,
the head will follow."

I think that means
you have to hit him low.

Kid, you're not listening
to what I tell you.

Here's a good one.

"Often a right lead is
the only way
to stop an opponent...

"from automatically
circling to his left."

HILLARY: So do that, I think.

Footwork, Kid.
Percy said footwork, right.

I think that means kick him.

PERCY: Take it easy.

HILLARY: If you can inch your
way here, I'll show you this.

It's a fantastic picture.
Look. See?

Will you stop hitting
him so hard!
This is only a game!

PERCY: Keep breathing.
Chin down.

HILLARY: Luis,
don't touch his face.

If you'd just listen to me,
maybe you'd win.

Will you look at me
when I talk to you?

HILLARY: That must hurt.
Maybe we should stop and
come back tomorrow.

PERCY: Just relax.
It's just a workout.

HILLARY: Can I call time?
Who has to call time?
Somebody call time.

PERCY: Time.

KID: Where did you
get this kid? He's terrific.

He's not terrific.
He's an asthmatic.

He took this job to pay
for violin lessons.

I'm sorry if I hurt you.

I'm not hurt! Who said
I'm hurt? Do I look hurt?

-Will that be all, Mr. Percy?
-Thanks, Luis.

-Go take a shower.
-That's okay,
I'm not sweating.

Get out of here.

All right. All right.

If you need any more sparring
partners, let me know.

My kid sister is
looking for a job.

HILLARY: Don't pay any
attention to him.
He's just a little squirt.

Wise-ass kid!

HILLARY: Did my book help?
KID: If I could have
thrown it at him!

This whole thing
is a big joke.

-What's really wrong?
Talk to me.
-I'll talk to you!

You want me to talk to you?
I'll tell you what it is!

It's a broad shouting
instructions at me from
ringside! I can't take it!

It's too humiliating!

Okay, if that's how you feel
about it, I'll leave.
Excuse me.

KID: Wait a minute.

-Changed your mind?
-Go out the back,
it's shorter.

[Instrumental rock music]

-There you go.
-Percy?

What's the matter?

My finger is not supposed
to be in there, is it?

Let me see it again.
I missed it.

HILLARY: You have to stretch
these muscles out.

Hey, what are you doing?

HILLARY: You sure all
managers do this?
KID: Absolutely.

Then what do the trainers do?

They make sure
the managers do it.

[Loud coughing]

KID: Hello.
HILLARY: Rise and shine.
It's 5:30.

-I know it's 5:30. So what?
-So you've got to run.

I already ran!

-In the dark?
-That's right, in the dark.

-There's such a thing
as overtraining!
-Not as far as you're--

Really?

MAN: Want me to set the tour?
HILLARY: What time?

-3:30 this afternoon.
-Great.

GUIDE: Sun Coast makes
an unscheduled stop at
the newest attraction...

Kid Natural's training camp.

Here, nestled
in the ever-pumping
machinery...

of the famous
Long Beach oil fields...

is the Knockout
Driving Academy.

GIRL 1: Give me your
autograph, please.
GIRL 2: Oh, I love you, Kid!

GUIDE: The vivacious
Hillary Kramer...

who once packaged
Le Nez Perfumes
in Beverly Hills...

is now packaging
a boxer in Long Beach.

-How are you doing, Hillary?
-Good.

I thought I was getting
my picture taken.

PHOTOGRAPHER:
You are. With her.

Come on, don't take
it so seriously.

It's promotion.
You know what I mean?
It's all part of it.

Why don't you do something
that looks like fighting,
but isn't?

The Kid is real good at that.

Put up your dukes.

PHOTOGRAPHER:
Yeah, that's good.

You want to go
a couple of rounds?

Are you looking
for a short nap?

Hey, this is fun.

Now I know why you like it.

I love this. This is real fun.

It was just a tap.
I hardly hit her.

KID: Come on, Hillary.
Stop kidding around.

Wait a minute, Hillary.
That's great. Hold it.

KID: She finally knows
her place: On her back
with her mouth shut!

Kid.

He's not the only one
in shape. Take a picture
of this. "Kid Nauseous."

[Climactic instrumental music]

You're done.

Ladies and gentlemen...

the next event,
eight rounds of boxing.

In the white corner,
from Lodi, California...

weighing in at 217
and a half pounds...

Guy "The Cannibal" La Roche.

[Booing and cheering]

I've heard of fighting out
of your class,
but never out of your species.

And from
Long Beach, California...

wearing green trunks
with white stripes...

-weighing in at 177 pounds...
-175!

...the fighting driving
instructor, Eddie
"Kid Natural" Scanlon.

[Cheering]

You know the rules and
regulations of the California
State Boxing Commission.

I want a good clean fight.

In case of a knockdown,
the man standing goes
to the neutral corner.

Wait. Can I ask
you a question?

-What?
-What is "a neutral corner"?

It's a corner, lady,
that I point to.

Then it's not exactly neutral.

I tell the fighters
what is neutral and
what is not neutral.

I don't like discussions
in the ring. Do you mind?

He doesn't like discussions
in the ring.

-Just one more thing, okay?
-Go ahead.

Mr. Cannibal is wearing
mentholated balm.

-Says who?
-Says this.

Don't make him mad!

He can't wear that stuff,
because it gets in
my fighter's eyes.

This ain't Vaseline.

How should I know?

I've been away for 10 years.

Take him out and get him
cleaned up, every bit of it.

HILLARY: Yeah,
clean him up. Very good.
Thank you very much.

KID: Keep your mouth shut!
PERCY: She did a good thing.

-I'm not all bad!
-Your nose is good.

-Will the corner man
leave the ring?
-Corner person.

-Corner person, kindly leave
the ring.
-Get out of here!

HILLARY: Catch you later.

Where's my mouthpiece?

I've got the mouthpiece.
Just a minute.

No, that's upside down!

HILLARY: Do a good job.
I'm here if you need me.

[Booing]

David!

What do you think
of my outfit?

Good for the ring, huh?

[Cheering]

-Stick him with your jab!
-Jab him with your jab!

Look what he did.
Is that allowed?
Is that legal?

[Hissing and booing]

PERCY: Get out of the corner.

-Get out of the corner.
Inside.
-Inside.

HILLARY: Run, run.

Yeah, hold on to him,
that's good.

[Hissing and booing]

HILLARY: You big lug!

David, she's Donna Rochester.

-The girl.
-Pleased to meet you, Dave.

David. You know,
like in Camp David.

DONNA: You're kidding?
That's you?

HILLARY: Pick on somebody
your own size!
PERCY: Don't be afraid of him.

Get ready.
Another round is coming up.

Yeah. Got it. Watch this.

Percy, where's the bottle?
The bottle!

[Bell rings]

Hillary, I can't sit down.

-You hurt that bad?
-No, I don't have a stool!

Sorry. I'll be right back.
Wait here.

PERCY: Okay, Kid,
I know it's tough.
Just settle down. Relax.

PERCY: Getting close.
You're doing fine.

It's a big guy out there.
Just stay in close.

-Here's your stool.
-Well, put it down!

Okay, I forgot one thing!
Big deal!

One thing you're supposed
to remember, and that's
to have the stool here!

-Would you care for
some water?
-Yeah.

That Vaseline looks
too globby.

-What's the matter?
-It's your fingernails!

-Got a Band-Aid?
-I don't need a Band-Aid!

Not for you. For me,
I broke my nail.

I'll go back to the fight
where it's safe!

-Listen, Kid, can I give
you some advice?
-What?

This is very important.
Don't get hit so much.

Try to remember to hit him
more than he hits you!

That's your secret strategy
for winning this fight?

Keep your mind on the fight,
inside the ring.

Now, remember, Kid.
Hit and don't get hit!

Hillary, I'm late
for this round!

Corner person out.
This is a warning!

-Did you hear that?
-'Bye.

HILLARY: I think he's going
to be okay now.

[Hissing and booing]

God, they're so rude.

Get ready. Another round
is coming up.

Get out of there. You can't
get in there.

I'm not going to be late
this time.

You saw how angry he got
when I forgot the stool. Kid!

The stool is in whenever
you're ready.

REFEREE: Disqualified.

[Hissing and booing]

KID: Are you crazy?

That was a wonderful round.
Why is everybody in the ring?

Because the fight is over!

You mean you don't
need the stool?

Yes, I need the stool!
To hit you over the head with!

ANNOUNCER: The winner, by
disqualification,
"The Cannibal" La Roche!

I made a mistake.
Do it over without
the stool this time.

Please, get out of the ring.

-Please take your stool...
-It wasn't my fault!

...your towels and
the rest of the crap,
and get out of here!

I was trying to do my job.

Your job is to keep your
big mouth shut and
do what I tell you!

You think you're the King of
the Jungle? You think
everybody's afraid of you?

Do you think because
you're a girl I won't pop
you in the mouth?

That would make you feel
like a man, to punch
me in the mouth?

Come on, Hillary, go back to
your old man, he's used to it.

REFEREE: Give me that.
Now get out!

I know what your trouble is!
You hate women!

No, I don't. I hate you!

HILLARY: Look what
you've done. You've
knocked him down.

HILLARY: Will you do the same
thing to me, you big bully?

All right, give me
a little poke. Show them what
a big tough guy you are.

KID: You know something?
I ought to.

HILLARY: Well, what's
the matter?

Are you scared?
Are you chicken?

No, because I quit!

I'm not throwing any more
punches for you or at you!

Go ahead and sue me!
Do what you want!

Take my business!
Take everything I own!
I don't care!

Because I'm through!

Yeah? You think you're
through now? You were through
when I met you!

Because you're a bum!
You're a crook!

And a lousy driver!

Thank you...

and good night.

[Soft instrumental music]

[Phone rings]

KID: Hello.

[Donna coughing]

-Are you almost ready?
-I don't like what
you're wearing.

You bought it for me!

I'm not talking about
your outfit, but about
your perfume.

You smell like a rose bush.

I don't know whether
to kiss you or to water you.

GOUGH: I'm glad you changed
your mind and came in, Kid.

Nice picture. You look good.

KID: Thanks, Mr. Gough.
My left hand is working
the way I want it.

GOUGH: Not you, sonny. Her.

Then why don't you
get her a fight?

I want to get both
of you a fight...

but an attraction like
the two of you has to
be mounted correctly.

Just get them a fight with
somebody else
besides each other.

Mr. Gough, are you familiar
with this?

GOUGH: Sure I'm familiar
with it. That's old news.

I can show you a way
to turn the question mark
into a dollar sign.

Good. Show me.

Don't you think people
wondered who would've won?

More importantly,
who'd win it now,
four years later?

Since Hector Mantilla
became one of the best light
heavies in the world...

while Kid Natural became
a poor driving instructor
living in a glove.

A glove?

It's a long story. I think
we should get these
two gladiators...

back into the ring so that
"the fight that never was"
will be again.

What do you think?

I think you'd better get back
to that part about
the dollar sign.

I think we can make a lot
of money off this fight, Leo.

Everybody's looking
for the "great white hope."

The Kid's not so great
and not much hope,
but look what's left.

Blond, blue-eyed, good teeth,
semi-attractive.

We can broaden our audience.
We can bring more women
into the fights.

They'll all come,
maybe with their husbands.

We'll shorten his shorts,
I'll show more leg.

I'm good at this.
You've got to give
me a chance.

In the perfume business
I was an expert at making
something out of nothing.

May I speak to my manager
for a minute?

Be my guest,
if you think you can
get a word in.

So, do you like it, Leo?

I think it has possibilities,
Hillary.

You two are very
cute together.

KID: Hillary.
HILLARY: What?

KID: Can I see you for
a second?
HILLARY: What? What is it?

Get over here, Red!

So talk!
I'm a little busy talking
to Mr. Gough.

Okay. You don't have
to be so violent!

HILLARY: Bully.
KID: I don't know when...

and I don't know where,
but I'm going to get you!

Is that a threat?

What do you think I am,
a piece of meat?
One of your perfumes?

You treat me like an object!
What do you think
I am, a girl?

No, I am a person!
I have feelings! I'm a man!

Didn't you hear me
call you a gladiator?

Don't be so negative
about yourself.

I'm not negative
about me, just you.

You think I want to be
tied to you forever?

We'll make our money,
then you and me
are up and out!

-What?
-Up and over.

-You mean over and out.
-Yeah, that one.

Percy, what do you think?

PERCY: You've wanted
another shot at Mantilla.
This could be it...

and some cash to get
the glove going again.

All right, I'll do it...

on one condition:
That I never have to
see you again!

That's a deal!

GOUGH: Everything
under control?

-All right, I'll do it.
-Me, too.

The first thing we have
to do is get the Kid
a quality fight.

He's got to beat somebody with
a reputation to give
him some credibility...

and to improve the gate.

Excuse me,
who do you have in mind?

Do you think you can
take Ruben Gomez?

I thought we were going
to go for Hector Mantilla.

We are, but first I want to
get him this fight
with Gomez...

and when he wins that,
then we can talk about...

"the fight that never was."

I did that whole spiel
for nothing?

Only if the Kid loses.

Stick it to him,
Kid, stick it to him.

With the jab, with the jab.

Hit him, Eddie, get him.

Okay, double up, double up.
Be first. Be first.

DAVID: Hillary, I want
to talk to you.
HILLARY: What?

I'm a little busy.

He's busy.
You're only busy
between the rounds.

He needs me to give him
technical advice.
Watch your nose!

HILLARY: Don't let him hit
you in the face.

DAVID: I've got something
good for you.

My boy is getting killed
over here, and you're talking
business with me!

[Bell rings]

You notice when you come back,
you have something to sit on?

I'm getting my ass handed to
me in there! No jokes!

-Okay. You want some advice?
-No.

-Finish with your left.
-You think I don't know that!

Then why don't you
do it more often, dummy?

You're behind in points.
You've got to score
more with your jab.

Don't let him counterpunch
you as much.

Tie him up and finish
with your left.

-Would you care for
some water?
-No.

You've been hit hard, Kid?

-It's a nightmare.
I can see three of you.
-I'm the one in the middle.

-Take your friends and
get out of here!
-That's your problem.

Your attitude stinks!
That's why you're
losing this fight!

Stick your head in
a bucket! Mouthpiece.

HILLARY: I have
to empty it out.

[Uproarious cheering]

DONNA: What's taking
you so long? Are you still
drying off your pecker?

If you ask me, she's getting
in your pants more than I am.

Who asked you?

Kid, nobody saw it.

DONNA: Are you kidding?
My whole row cracked up.

It was like a guy taking
a leak in the North Pole!

You were really
sharp tonight, Kid.

HILLARY: What about me?
I don't get a thank you?
I helped a little.

Sensational out there tonight.
Just sensational.

Thanks. I felt real strong.
I felt like I could take
anybody tonight.

No, no. I'm talking about
the ice down the trunks.

HILLARY: You liked it?

Sensational. Keep it in.
We'll use it again when
we fight Mantilla.

HILLARY: Really?
"The fight that never was"?

I've already set up the date.
Lake Tahoe, November 14.

I'm going to set up
a training camp there for you.

-I've already picked out
the spot.
-Camp. I love camp.

-You're not going.
-I'm not?

-Don't managers usually go?
-She's going.

It will be a good thing
for you, Kid, believe me.
She'll keep you mean.

HILLARY: Thanks, Leo.
GOUGH: Anytime.

Isn't this exciting?
Campfires and stuff like that!

Wait a minute, excuse me.

What about me?
If she's going, I'm going.

I can't believe this.

I've had it up to here
with all this female crap!

You, I am sick of working for!
And you, I am just
sick of, period!

Both of you can take
a flying jump in the lake!
Let's go, Percy.

Suits me fine! If I never see
you again, it will be
too soon for me!

[Tranquil instrumental music]

[Hillary, Kid and
all sing rock song]

HILLARY: Smell that air!

Pretty.

PERCY: I haven't seen this
much white since
the Klan rally in '68!

HILLARY: I got dibs
on the cabin by the sea!

PERCY: Hillary,
the Kid gets the cabin.

Why?

Hillary, this isn't
a "kids camp."
This is "the Kid's" camp.

Where do I sleep then?

With Percy.

He means in the barracks
with me and the others.
It'll be okay.

I hope.

I can't wait.
I always wished
I had a lot of brothers.

[Lounge music]

[Men shouting and laughing]

HILLARY: It's okay,
I don't need any help.
I'm really fine.

HILLARY: I'm tough and strong.
I'm really in very good
shape myself.

HILLARY: I'm very strong,
because I work out in
the ladies gym...

three times a week.

HILLARY: Coming through, guys!

Don't expect somebody
to serve you, or you're liable
to starve to death.

If you see something, grab it.
That's why you've got hands.

The important thing
is that you fit in.

-In other words, forget
you're a girl.
-Okay, it's forgotten.

Now open the friggin' door!

[Chanting for food]

MAN 1: This dame
walked up to me in
the parking lot last night.

Man, she had the most
beautiful set of...

radial tires that
I've seen in a long time.

We drove all night.

Anybody seen José?

MAN 2: I saw José yesterday.
Shit.

I'm getting messed up.
Thursday.

I never saw such bad eyes
since they slit

Carmen Basilio's lids
with a razor blade.

I think that's the worst,
to get a head butt
on scar tissue.

In Syracuse,
I saw a guy get butted
in the head.

I swear to God,
I thought I could see inside
into his brains.

There was stuff pouring
out of him,
and it was not blood.

It was thick, and
it was cartilage. It looked
like red cottage cheese to me.

Will you pass me the ketchup?

They had to discontinue
the fight to clean
up the canvas.

KID: Who's the fighter who
came back to his corner,

part of his lip
was hanging off?

This guy didn't know
what to do. He took out
scissors and went "ding"...

and flung it to the crowd.

-I think that was Moore.
-That's it. You got it.

I have a terrible story
to tell you, too.

One time I was licking
this envelope, and...

I got a cut right
on my tongue.

Right about there.

You know, like a paper cut?
It's very painful.

Have you had a paper cut
on your tongue?
It's very, very painful.

It's really the worst, really.

MAN 3: Pass the bread, please.

HILLARY: I'll spare you
the details, because it's
a real long story and would...

really make you sick to
your stomach if you heard it.

After dinner we should
do something. I hear there's
a beaver hunt in town.

I went beaver hunting once.

Fox hunting? Fox hunting.

I'm tired.

I've got a big day tomorrow.

-I can't wait to get
a good night's sleep.
-Yeah, me, too.

Did you know that bears...

always turn about
90 degrees...

and then go about
100 yards downwind...

before they go to sleep?

That way they can smell
someone coming
if they're being tracked.

Bears have very good noses.

Can I go now?

Yeah, sure.

I just thought
you might want to know that.

Speaking of bears,
you'd better go inside.
This is grizzly country.

You don't want anything big
and hairy to get you.

Wait!

How about a card game
in the mess hall?

Poker, gin? I'll play
you for money.

No, thanks. Sweet dreams.

Good night, Kid.

KID: Good night.

HILLARY: Knock, knock.
I'm coming in, ready or not.

[Loud, boisterous voices]

PERCY: Watch your mouth.

[Silence]

HILLARY: Hi.

-Excuse me.
-Sure.

Just pretend I'm not here.

That's what I'm going to do.

I was reading in this book...

Tips in the Woods...

and it said that...

if you're camping out
in a wooden structure
with lots of men...

with lots of people, I mean...

it said that...

you'd better not take
off your clothes...

in case there's a fire.

All right, gents,
the show's over.

PERCY: Come on, let's go.
MAN 1: Hey, we're not tired.

PERCY: It's time to go.
MAN 2: This is brutal.

It's going to be all right.

PERCY: We rise early tomorrow.
MAN 3: What's wrong with you?

MAN 4: Cut us some slack.

[Light, tension-building
music]

[Snoring]

Percy.

Percy.

-Percy.
-What?

Where is the bathroom?

Outside.

-Outside where?
-Outside anywhere!

What's the matter?
This fresh air making
you tired?

I think it's the altitude.
This snow, I don't think
it's good for me.

It's great for you.
It builds your lung capacity.

Helps the blood handle
the new oxygen intake.

-Did you sleep well
last night?
-I slept great.

I love this country.
It's so peaceful and so quiet.

You're not having any
trouble down at
the dorm, are you?

Me and the boys?
No, they're a great
bunch of guys.

-I'm really getting to know
them, too.
-That's nice.

One by one.

MAN 1: I can smell
that perfume all
the way down here!

Man, I can't take it.

MAN 1: Man, I can't stand it
no more!
MAN 2: Get this guy!

Hey, Red.

Wake up. Come on,
it's time to run.

I don't want to run today.
You run without me.

-How do you know I'll do it?
-I trust you.

-I don't trust you.
I'll get up.
-Good.

[Fast-paced disco music]

HILLARY: Hi, guys.
Enjoying the country?

REPORTER: May we ask you
some questions?

I understand you're sleeping
in a cabin here
with eight guys.

Me? No. Thirteen.

[Laughing]

REPORTER: The Kid's coming
up against his first
very tough fighter.

How do you feel about that?

Personally, I think the Kid,
who'll be wearing great
gray satin shorts....

Have you seen gray satin
on a fighter? Very chic,
with yellow piping.

I feel he has nothing
to worry about.

As a matter of fact,
he'll weigh in at
175 on the button.

As for me, in case
you're interested,
I weigh 117, for the record.

Size 8. Put that down.
Just in case.

Look at the Kid.
Why don't you ask
him some questions?

Kid, what's it like working
for a lady?

Do you really want to know?

I'm getting kind
of used to it.

Don't you think this is
a little crazy?
Fishing in the snow?

KID: Don't you
like frozen fish?

Yes, but come on,
let's go back.
I feel lucky tonight.

I've got a shot at some
mashed potatoes.
I can feel it.

We don't have to go back.
I have your dinner right
here on the hook.

How do you like that?
Somebody actually
fell for your line!

-Go light a fire.
-Okay. Where are
the instructions?

I thought you went to camp?

I did, but it was a very
exclusive camp.
We never went outside.

When you go camping
out with me,
everybody is the same.

I figure that's the way it was
in the beginning...

a man and a woman and a fire.

-And a dead fish that has
to be cleaned.
-I'll do it.

You'd clean a fish for me?

That's great, because
men think that cleaning
a fish is women's work.

What the hell.
Nobody's watching.

[Hillary laughs]

Let me take everybody back
to the Dominican Republic
four years ago.

The finals at
the Pan Am Games.

These two were scheduled
to fight, but this incident
developed.

The entourage,
led by Percy Washington.

As they get outside
Hector's locker room...

there's an exchange of words
and Hector jumps out.

They're both being restrained.
Kid throws the punch
that hits the wall...

and that's the one that ended
it all, and it still hurts.

You are responsible for
the Kid's comeback.
How is the hand?

-Ask me anything, Burt.
-Brent!

I know you've been asked
a million times, Hector...

but what triggered that
incident four years ago?

I don't know, man.

I wanted to fight in the ring,
but he started it
in the holeway...

just like a gangster.

-What's a "holeway"?
-Holeway!

-Hallway.
-Hallway!

-Yeah, holeway.
-I didn't start the fight.
You did.

All right, perhaps
it's not that important.

But all I did was call
him pretty.
He's such a pretty boy.

Watch who you're
calling pretty.

If you ask me,
I think you're much
prettier than he is.

I mean, this is what
you call pretty?

He's got bags under his eyes.
His nose sort of stops.
It goes nowhere.

There's nothing much to it,
and his mouth is sort of....

-Look how his lip sort
of goes down.
-I think they get the point.

Did you know that right after
the incident, Kid Natural
had to give up fighting...

and open up a driving school?

I'm going to give you
a couple of lessons
tomorrow night.

That's a good one, man...

but I will be driving
the ambulance that's
coming to get you.

My fighter is not going
to be in any ambulance.

As a matter of fact,
we're going to win,
and I'm so sure of it...

we should make this fight
winner take all!

KID: What?
HILLARY: Yeah.

-No, no, she doesn't
mean that.
-I like that.

It's a deal. Winner take all.

There you are.
You heard it here first.

Tomorrow night,
Kid Natural against
Hector Mantilla.

The fight that never was...

and it will be winner
take all!

Big joke.

Winner take all, huh?

You better get some sleep.

HOST: Tomorrow night, 9:00 on
the East Coast. 6:00 on
the Pacific Coast.

PERCY: See you in the morning,
pretty boy!

-What about....
-Let her sleep awhile.

You're sitting on
a chair?

Yeah.

How come?

Because somebody's
sleeping in my bed.

I'm sorry.
I guess I dozed off.

I'm going.
You need your sleep.

So do you.

It's your bed.

Would you mind moving over?

No.

KID: Good night.

Good night.

I guess it's hard to be in bed
with me and not touch me...

so if you want me to go,
just let me know.

No problem. Go to sleep.

-I don't want to drive
you crazy.
-You're not driving me crazy.

Why don't I just go sit
in a chair, okay?

No, I don't want you sitting
in the chair watching
me sleep.

I let you watch me sleep.

Then I owe you one.

HILLARY: Okay, good night.

[Hillary yawns loudly]

Don't get up or anything.
I just...

want to get a little sip
of water here.

This is not a pass, you know.
This is just thirst.

You could have fooled me.

I'm not turning you on
or anything, am I?

Not at all.

Then what's that?

My foot.

Because if I'm arousing you,
I understand completely, Kid.

This is the night before
the fight, though...

and you're not supposed
to have sex the night
before a fight.

I'm not having sex.

I know that, but you're
not supposed to have sex
for weeks before a fight.

I'm not having sex.

You probably haven't had sex
for a long time.

How long?

Long enough.

What is that supposed to mean?

[Romantic instrumental music]

You're not thinking
of trying anything funny,
are you?

No. I learned my lesson
well, boss.

Yes, you have.

You've been very
good about this
business-type relationship.

Thank you.

You've kept your hands
to yourself...

you've trained hard and
fought hard and...

done everything
an owner could ask.

I'm a good worker.
I obey orders.

-Kiss me.
-Is that an order?

Yes.

Sex...

has ruined more fighters...

than booze.

I hear it can be rough on
the owners, too.

HILLARY: You see,
what happens is,
it gets them...

right in the legs.

KID: The legs.

-There's your foot again.
-Ignore it.

[Sweeping instrumental music]

Wait a minute.

What about the evils of sex
before a fight?

You don't believe all
that crap, do you?

PERCY: My whole career is
in bed with him.

PERCY: Going up and down...

up and down...

and up and down.

[Romantic instrumental
music continues]

Remember me? Hillary Kramer...

-from the bed last night?
-Oh, yeah.

How do you feel?

I feel great. Like a champ.

I hope I didn't do any damage.

No.

I won't have any problem
with this guy.

-And I've been thinking...
-Yeah, what?

...if I win, we should take
all the money...

and open up our own business.

Something like a car wash
or a diner.

Something that you can be
a big part of, too.

Really?

I was kind of counting on
going back into the perfume
business some day.

-No, that's not for me.
-I know. It's for me.

How can you do it if
I don't want to?

I could, with the money
you owe me.

Wait a minute.

We're together now.
Why should I still owe
you money?

Because that was the deal.

But we made love
last night, didn't we?

And that cost me $47,311?

I had no idea you had
the meter running.

Let me explain something.
I'm the man.

I'll handle the money
from now on.

I don't need you to handle
the money. Before I met you,
I was successful.

I won't go around with
somebody that makes
more money than I do!

But that's ridiculous.
Who thinks that way anymore?

Everybody on my block.

That's just the way it is
between husbands and wives!

-What are you saying?
-A wedding.

-Whose?
-Yours.

Are you asking me
to get married?
Are you pregnant?

No jokes! If two people
like each other,
they should get married!

-How do you feel about that?
-I don't know. I mean,
you're rushing me.

What's the matter?
Aren't I good enough for you?

-You make me feel cheap!
-Believe me, Kid,
you are not cheap!

I feel like a pretty
face to you,
like a one-night stand!

-No, Kid, I respect you.
-I feel used, like you took
advantage of me.

-Because I won't marry you?
-You don't even tell me
how you feel!

As soon as I find out,
I'll let you know.

What will you do,
wave a white flag?

I'm not waiting for any flags.

I'll win that money back,
then you never have to see me!

What's better,
I never have to see you again!

I'm glad we had this
discussion, because I found
out a few things about you!

I found out a few things
last night!

-Like what?
-You snore!

I snore?
If you want to get picky,
you drool!

It's like sleeping with
a St. Bernard!

I'm glad we found out this
stuff now, not later.

Me, too, because God forbid
we have another night
like last night!

Please, you're scaring me.

I don't want to scare you.
I want to inspire you.

You fight better when
you're mad. Now you might win.

With you around,
how could I lose!

[Cheering]

[Bell rings]

All right,
ladies and gentlemen...

this is the main event
of the evening.
10 rounds of boxing...

under the banner
of Leo Gough Enterprises...

and sanctioned
by the State Athletic
Commission...

and here we go.

[Softly] Yeah, jab, jab.

This cat is going to keep on
at the Knockout Academy,
I'm telling you.

[Bell rings]

PERCY: Keep it up,
and you're back in
the driving business again.

Fancy footwork.
Just get out there and
finish him up fast.

-What are you doing?
-You're winning.

-What do you want me
to do, lose?
-Why would you want to lose?

HILLARY: No. If you lost
we'd be stuck together
for God knows how long.

You wouldn't want that,
would you?

-No! Would you?
-Why would I want that?

Good! I'll go out there
and get him this round.

You don't even have to wait.
I'll mail you your check!

[Bell rings]

[Uproarious cheering]

-The right hand and it's
all over!
-All over?

-What's the matter with you?
-It just isn't working
out right.

-I thought you wanted
your money back.
-If he wins, I'll lose him!

-You should've told him.
-I'll tell him after
this round.

PERCY: There won't
be another one.

HILLARY: Then at
the fight's end.

-If he wins, he's not going
to stick around.
-I've got to tell him now.

It's too late.
You'd better send
him a letter.

-But I've got to tell
him fast.
-Send it air mail.

[Soft instrumental music]

REFEREE: Your owner threw
the towel in.

KID: There must be
some mistake.

No mistake.

I said a letter, not a towel!

I didn't have a letter.

[Stirring instrumental music]

You threw in the towel.

I know, but,
you had a bloody nose.

So what?
That happens all the time.

You know how I feel about
the nose. It's my favorite
part of the body.

You know what this means,
don't you?

You still owe me $47,311,
and I'm crazy about you.

What?

-You still owe me--
-No, the other part.

You heard me.

How are you going
to pay me back?

We'll just have
to keep fighting.

Don't worry, we will.

[Slow, romantic song]

[Song suddenly
becomes uptempo]