All language subtitles for Mike & Molly - 05x22 - The Bitter Man and the Sea.LOL.English.HI.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,702 --> 00:00:02,295 MIKE: Previously on Mike & Molly... 2 00:00:02,296 --> 00:00:04,313 MAN: Watch out! 3 00:00:05,868 --> 00:00:07,703 CARL: After that accident, 4 00:00:07,704 --> 00:00:10,238 the one face that's been popping up in my mind is Victoria's. 5 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:11,973 Mike, I'm gonna ask her to marry me. 6 00:00:11,975 --> 00:00:14,175 MIKE: He's gonna propose to Victoria. 7 00:00:14,177 --> 00:00:16,178 He's gonna propose? I didn't say anything. 8 00:00:16,179 --> 00:00:18,012 You said exactly that! I know, I know, I know! 9 00:00:18,014 --> 00:00:19,047 But don't tell anybody. Don't tell anybody. 10 00:00:19,048 --> 00:00:20,147 He wants it to be a surprise. 11 00:00:20,149 --> 00:00:21,549 You got the ring? What ring? 12 00:00:21,551 --> 00:00:23,751 The ring you're gonna use to propose to Victoria with. 13 00:00:23,753 --> 00:00:26,321 I changed my mind. That ain't happening. 14 00:00:26,322 --> 00:00:27,723 Man. I cannot decide what I want. 15 00:00:27,724 --> 00:00:29,724 God, you make me sick. 16 00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:31,293 What is going on? 17 00:00:31,294 --> 00:00:32,260 Nothing, sweetie. 18 00:00:32,261 --> 00:00:34,362 Unfortunately, nothing is going on. 19 00:00:34,363 --> 00:00:36,731 Isn't that right, Carl? 20 00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:37,999 Victoria, 21 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,401 I love you. 22 00:00:39,402 --> 00:00:40,702 I mean, I-I really do. 23 00:00:40,703 --> 00:00:42,571 And, you know, one day, who knows? 24 00:00:42,572 --> 00:00:44,706 You know, but whatever you thought was happening, 25 00:00:44,707 --> 00:00:46,041 not gonna happen. 26 00:00:46,042 --> 00:00:48,209 Oh, thank goodness. 27 00:00:48,210 --> 00:00:50,210 What's that now? 28 00:00:50,212 --> 00:00:52,280 Getting my stuff and I'm getting out of here. 29 00:00:52,281 --> 00:00:53,682 Go ahead, be a baby. 30 00:00:53,683 --> 00:00:55,216 Need help changing your diaper?! 31 00:00:55,217 --> 00:00:57,751 CARL: Oh, no, don't try and get sexy with me! 32 00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:02,557 MIKE: Uh, yeah. 33 00:01:02,558 --> 00:01:04,859 Yeah, about 30 people. Saturday night. 34 00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:06,895 Okay, I'll e-mail you my information. 35 00:01:06,896 --> 00:01:08,062 Thank you. 36 00:01:08,063 --> 00:01:09,063 Who was that? 37 00:01:09,064 --> 00:01:10,899 Ah, I've been racking my brains 38 00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,165 trying to plan me and Molly's anniversary party. 39 00:01:12,167 --> 00:01:13,735 Mm-hmm. And then bam! 40 00:01:13,736 --> 00:01:15,803 A Dave & Buster's commercial came on 41 00:01:15,804 --> 00:01:18,373 like a sign from God. 42 00:01:18,374 --> 00:01:21,943 God told you to have an anniversary party at an arcade? 43 00:01:21,944 --> 00:01:24,111 And pub. 44 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,582 Do you really think Molly's idea of romance 45 00:01:27,583 --> 00:01:29,349 involves a plastic cup full of tokens? 46 00:01:29,351 --> 00:01:31,786 It's not tokens, it's a credit card that you sw... 47 00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,887 Have you not been there? 48 00:01:33,889 --> 00:01:35,923 Here's what you're gonna do: you're gonna take Molly 49 00:01:35,924 --> 00:01:38,125 and your closest friends on a moonlight dinner cruise 50 00:01:38,126 --> 00:01:39,192 of Lake Michigan. 51 00:01:39,194 --> 00:01:40,261 Okay? There's gonna be some drinking, 52 00:01:40,262 --> 00:01:41,262 there's gonna be some dancing, 53 00:01:41,263 --> 00:01:42,630 and breathtaking views of the city 54 00:01:42,631 --> 00:01:44,031 where you fell in love. 55 00:01:44,032 --> 00:01:46,366 Wow. That's good. 56 00:01:46,368 --> 00:01:48,369 Yeah. That's where I was gonna take Victoria 57 00:01:48,370 --> 00:01:49,603 for our anniversary. 58 00:01:49,605 --> 00:01:51,472 Mm, sorry, buddy. I feel for you. 59 00:01:51,473 --> 00:01:53,573 Hey, can you fish off that boat? 60 00:01:57,878 --> 00:01:59,245 Hey, Molly. 61 00:01:59,247 --> 00:02:01,983 Hey, Carl. Didn't think you'd... still be here. 62 00:02:01,984 --> 00:02:04,951 Mike, I didn't think he'd still be here. Yeah, 63 00:02:04,953 --> 00:02:06,854 I'm sorry. I didn't realize the game was gonna go this long. 64 00:02:06,855 --> 00:02:09,123 (quietly): Can't you take Victoria around the block a couple times? 65 00:02:09,124 --> 00:02:11,325 No, we already took a couple extra hours at the spa. 66 00:02:11,326 --> 00:02:14,727 I've got stuff waxed that shouldn't be waxed. 67 00:02:15,596 --> 00:02:16,964 Really? 68 00:02:16,965 --> 00:02:18,465 Just get him out. 69 00:02:18,466 --> 00:02:21,267 All right, hey, uh, Carl, we got to wrap this up, buddy. 70 00:02:21,269 --> 00:02:23,470 How 'bout we listen to the rest of the game in the car? 71 00:02:23,471 --> 00:02:24,605 What, basketball on the radio? 72 00:02:24,606 --> 00:02:26,440 That's just a bunch of squeaky sneakers. 73 00:02:26,441 --> 00:02:28,241 You guys, 74 00:02:28,243 --> 00:02:30,044 I know Victoria's out on the porch, all right? 75 00:02:30,045 --> 00:02:32,279 Just let her in. We're both adults. 76 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,548 No, you're not. 77 00:02:34,549 --> 00:02:36,784 I suppose this was gonna happen at some point. 78 00:02:36,785 --> 00:02:38,752 What are you doing, silly? 79 00:02:38,753 --> 00:02:41,822 Oh. Hello. 80 00:02:41,823 --> 00:02:43,123 Victoria. 81 00:02:43,124 --> 00:02:45,025 Yeah. Uh, we were just going. 82 00:02:45,026 --> 00:02:46,860 Oh, you don't have to go anywhere on my account. 83 00:02:46,861 --> 00:02:48,494 CARL: See? We're fine. 84 00:02:48,496 --> 00:02:49,730 Let's just watch the end of this game. 85 00:02:49,731 --> 00:02:51,698 And, Victoria, you might want to join us. 86 00:02:51,699 --> 00:02:53,933 You like to play games. 87 00:02:54,935 --> 00:02:57,371 My favorite game was Dump the Chump, so... 88 00:02:57,372 --> 00:02:58,372 Okay! 89 00:02:58,373 --> 00:02:59,640 Okay, 90 00:02:59,641 --> 00:03:01,641 we tried, we failed. 91 00:03:01,642 --> 00:03:03,743 Carl, maybe you should go. 92 00:03:03,745 --> 00:03:05,412 No, I'm here as a guest of my best friend, all right? 93 00:03:05,413 --> 00:03:07,447 And if he wants me to leave, he should just tell me himself. 94 00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:08,714 I want you to leave. 95 00:03:10,817 --> 00:03:12,785 No. VICTORIA: Ugh. 96 00:03:12,787 --> 00:03:14,820 Why do you always to be such a drama queen? 97 00:03:14,822 --> 00:03:17,489 (gasps) Don't you dare call me that! 98 00:03:17,491 --> 00:03:19,592 I don't know what I ever saw in you. 99 00:03:19,594 --> 00:03:20,894 You know what, well, I got news for you, lady. 100 00:03:20,895 --> 00:03:22,596 You're not the first woman to say that. 101 00:03:22,597 --> 00:03:24,531 You're an awful man! 102 00:03:24,532 --> 00:03:25,598 And you're a crazy woman! 103 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:26,633 Ugh! Okay! Okay! 104 00:03:26,634 --> 00:03:28,101 You get yours, I'll get mine! 105 00:03:28,102 --> 00:03:29,035 All right, let's go. 106 00:03:29,036 --> 00:03:30,036 Just call him Daddy... 107 00:03:30,037 --> 00:03:31,303 he'll do whatever you want! 108 00:03:32,572 --> 00:03:35,240 I don't want to hear any more! Just get Daddy out of here. 109 00:03:37,610 --> 00:03:40,413 ♪ La, la-Ba-Dee-da ♪ 110 00:03:40,414 --> 00:03:43,349 ♪ La, la-Ba-Dee-da ♪ 111 00:03:43,350 --> 00:03:46,786 ♪ For the first time in my life ♪ 112 00:03:46,787 --> 00:03:48,021 ♪ I see love ♪ 113 00:03:48,022 --> 00:03:50,456 ♪ I see love ♪ 114 00:03:50,457 --> 00:03:53,259 ♪ For the first time in my life ♪ 115 00:03:53,260 --> 00:03:54,427 ♪ I see love ♪ 116 00:03:54,428 --> 00:03:58,883 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 117 00:04:06,806 --> 00:04:09,609 If you don't have plans on Saturday, 118 00:04:09,610 --> 00:04:12,312 I thought maybe I could blow your mind. 119 00:04:12,313 --> 00:04:13,780 By taking me 120 00:04:13,781 --> 00:04:19,052 to Dave & Buster's for our anniversary? 121 00:04:19,053 --> 00:04:21,687 Aah! 122 00:04:21,689 --> 00:04:23,322 What? 123 00:04:23,324 --> 00:04:27,226 They called earlier to confirm. 124 00:04:27,228 --> 00:04:28,661 Ah, I forgot to cancel. 125 00:04:28,662 --> 00:04:31,396 We're-we're not actually going to Dave & Buster's. 126 00:04:31,398 --> 00:04:33,966 Oh, thank God. 127 00:04:35,468 --> 00:04:38,771 But I seemed on board though, right? 128 00:04:38,772 --> 00:04:41,808 For our anniversary, you, me, and a group of our friends 129 00:04:41,809 --> 00:04:45,311 are gonna take a moonlit boat tour of beautiful Lake Michigan 130 00:04:45,312 --> 00:04:48,680 with views of the city we fell in love in. 131 00:04:48,682 --> 00:04:51,951 Get out of here. 132 00:04:51,952 --> 00:04:53,986 No, I will not. 133 00:04:53,987 --> 00:04:55,187 Oh, my God. 134 00:04:55,189 --> 00:04:56,322 I am blown away. 135 00:04:56,323 --> 00:04:58,957 And will you thank whoever gave you that idea? 136 00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:01,127 It was Carl. 137 00:05:01,128 --> 00:05:02,528 But everything comes with a price. 138 00:05:02,529 --> 00:05:05,497 He's singing "Isn't She Lovely" for our first dance. 139 00:05:05,499 --> 00:05:07,733 Mike, do you think it's really a good idea 140 00:05:07,734 --> 00:05:10,302 to have Carl and Victoria at the same party? 141 00:05:10,304 --> 00:05:13,238 Well, not really. But what am I supposed to do, uninvite him? 142 00:05:14,674 --> 00:05:16,775 Aw, come on! 143 00:05:16,777 --> 00:05:18,577 Well, what are we supposed to do? 144 00:05:18,578 --> 00:05:21,881 I mean, the two of them? Plus alcohol? On a boat? 145 00:05:21,882 --> 00:05:24,917 Did you not see The Poseidon Adventure? 146 00:05:24,918 --> 00:05:26,485 We're gonna be upside down 147 00:05:26,486 --> 00:05:30,255 and climbing up a Christmas tree before we know it. 148 00:05:30,257 --> 00:05:31,990 He was my best man. 149 00:05:31,992 --> 00:05:33,525 She's my sister. 150 00:05:33,527 --> 00:05:35,828 (sighs) Mol, you just don't understand the kind of position 151 00:05:35,829 --> 00:05:37,062 you're gonna put me in. 152 00:05:37,063 --> 00:05:38,196 I do. 153 00:05:38,198 --> 00:05:39,465 It's an awful one. 154 00:05:39,466 --> 00:05:41,267 But tell him that we'll do something together, 155 00:05:41,268 --> 00:05:42,934 just the three of us. 156 00:05:42,936 --> 00:05:45,937 Dave & Buster's? 157 00:05:45,939 --> 00:05:48,473 Yeah. Just the two of you. 158 00:05:48,475 --> 00:05:51,409 Yeah. Go. 159 00:05:54,380 --> 00:05:56,682 ♪ Isn't sh... ♪ 160 00:05:56,683 --> 00:05:58,417 (clears throat) ♪ Isn't... ♪ 161 00:05:58,418 --> 00:05:59,384 (clears throat) 162 00:05:59,385 --> 00:06:04,121 ♪ Isn't-isn't she lovely. ♪ 163 00:06:04,123 --> 00:06:06,791 Hey, don't worry. I'll be ready when we set sail. 164 00:06:06,793 --> 00:06:08,694 Yeah. 165 00:06:08,695 --> 00:06:10,895 Listen, Carl, um... Mm-hmm. 166 00:06:12,731 --> 00:06:15,167 You remember when you were picking players 167 00:06:15,168 --> 00:06:16,835 for the precinct softball team, 168 00:06:16,836 --> 00:06:20,905 and when you didn't pick me, you asked me to take it like a man? 169 00:06:20,907 --> 00:06:22,774 Mm-hmm. That was right before you ripped up home plate 170 00:06:22,775 --> 00:06:24,141 and threw it at my head. 171 00:06:24,143 --> 00:06:29,146 But eventually I understood, 'cause it was good for the team. 172 00:06:29,148 --> 00:06:30,348 It was good for you, too. 173 00:06:30,349 --> 00:06:32,017 I mean, you may be built like Babe Ruth, 174 00:06:32,018 --> 00:06:33,818 but you play like Dr. Ruth. 175 00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:35,787 Ha-ha! Dr. Ruth. 176 00:06:35,788 --> 00:06:36,788 That's a good one. 177 00:06:36,789 --> 00:06:39,056 You can't come to the party. 178 00:06:39,058 --> 00:06:41,659 Excuse me, what? 179 00:06:41,661 --> 00:06:45,497 Molly and I... especially Molly... 180 00:06:45,498 --> 00:06:47,699 think it's a good idea that you don't go 181 00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,333 since Victoria's gonna be there. 182 00:06:49,335 --> 00:06:51,303 H-Hold on now. If you're talking about what happened yesterday, 183 00:06:51,304 --> 00:06:52,570 that was not my fault. 184 00:06:52,571 --> 00:06:54,539 Okay, you heard her when she walked in there. 185 00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:56,541 (mocking): "Hello." 186 00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,676 I'm supposed to ignore all that? 187 00:06:58,678 --> 00:07:00,578 Well, look, I'm sorry. You're out! 188 00:07:00,579 --> 00:07:02,280 I can't believe what I'm hearing. (sighs) 189 00:07:02,281 --> 00:07:04,883 I basically introduced you two, made you ask her out, 190 00:07:04,884 --> 00:07:06,451 and this whole party is my idea. 191 00:07:06,452 --> 00:07:08,051 Without me, there is no Mike and Molly! 192 00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:09,554 I know. 193 00:07:09,555 --> 00:07:11,756 And I'm asking you, as my best friend, 194 00:07:11,757 --> 00:07:14,691 please just let this one go. 195 00:07:14,693 --> 00:07:16,394 (sighs) 196 00:07:16,395 --> 00:07:18,395 Is that what you really want? 197 00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:19,998 No! 198 00:07:19,999 --> 00:07:23,667 But it's what I need you to do. 199 00:07:23,669 --> 00:07:25,136 All right. 200 00:07:25,137 --> 00:07:26,837 Consider it done. 201 00:07:26,839 --> 00:07:30,141 Thank you. You're a good friend. 202 00:07:30,142 --> 00:07:31,675 (sighs) 203 00:07:33,511 --> 00:07:35,713 (sniffles) 204 00:07:35,714 --> 00:07:38,648 (voice breaking): ♪ Isn't she lovely ♪ 205 00:07:40,518 --> 00:07:41,853 (sniffles) 206 00:07:41,854 --> 00:07:45,822 ♪ Isn't she wonderful... ♪ 207 00:07:47,892 --> 00:07:50,228 Okay, not that it's a competition, 208 00:07:50,229 --> 00:07:54,531 but I call Mike's anniversary cruise, and I raise it with... 209 00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:56,000 this. Ta-da! 210 00:07:56,001 --> 00:07:57,200 Oh, my God. 211 00:07:57,202 --> 00:07:59,537 It's beautiful! 212 00:07:59,538 --> 00:08:01,371 What the hell is it? 213 00:08:01,373 --> 00:08:03,507 It's a window into our relationship. 214 00:08:03,508 --> 00:08:04,842 I mean, these are the tickets 215 00:08:04,843 --> 00:08:06,643 from the first Cubs game we ever saw. 216 00:08:06,645 --> 00:08:07,978 This is our wedding invitation. 217 00:08:07,979 --> 00:08:10,915 This is an actual page out of Mike's police notebook 218 00:08:10,916 --> 00:08:12,448 when he first asked me out. 219 00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:15,752 Oh, he's so lucky you're a hoarder. 220 00:08:15,754 --> 00:08:16,887 I'm not a hoarder. 221 00:08:16,888 --> 00:08:21,024 I'm a romantic with hoarding tendencies. 222 00:08:21,026 --> 00:08:22,760 I can't believe you and Mike have been married 223 00:08:22,761 --> 00:08:24,894 for three years already. I know. 224 00:08:24,896 --> 00:08:27,030 And I can remember our first date. 225 00:08:27,032 --> 00:08:29,565 Oh, I was so sick. I got hopped up on liquor 226 00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:32,468 and cough syrup, and I threw up all over his car. 227 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,103 And he asked you on a second date. 228 00:08:34,105 --> 00:08:36,639 That's when I knew I had him. 229 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:40,110 It's hard to find something special like that. 230 00:08:40,111 --> 00:08:43,813 But when you do, hold on to it. 231 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:44,815 Yeah. 232 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,516 Oh, sweetie. 233 00:08:46,517 --> 00:08:48,951 You have so much to offer. 234 00:08:48,953 --> 00:08:50,220 Thanks, Mom. 235 00:08:50,221 --> 00:08:52,555 Any man would be lucky to have you. 236 00:08:52,557 --> 00:08:54,457 Or woman. 237 00:08:56,493 --> 00:08:58,228 Now, my friend Janice has a daughter. 238 00:08:58,229 --> 00:09:00,163 Very successful pediatrician. 239 00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:02,299 At least have coffee. 240 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,666 See where it goes. 241 00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:06,336 Might as well. 242 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,237 Couldn't hurt. Yeah. 243 00:09:13,310 --> 00:09:14,944 Ramirez! 244 00:09:14,946 --> 00:09:15,912 So glad you could make it. 245 00:09:15,913 --> 00:09:17,413 We're upstairs on the Topaz Deck. 246 00:09:17,415 --> 00:09:19,282 All right. Open bar? How long have you known me? 247 00:09:19,283 --> 00:09:20,750 Long enough to bring my own flask. 248 00:09:20,751 --> 00:09:22,017 Attaboy. 249 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:24,019 Hello, Michael! 250 00:09:24,021 --> 00:09:25,422 Aw, Nana. 251 00:09:25,423 --> 00:09:27,123 (chuckles) Mmm. 252 00:09:27,124 --> 00:09:28,792 Hey, thank you so much for coming. 253 00:09:28,793 --> 00:09:31,628 I hope you understand why I couldn't invite Carl. 254 00:09:31,629 --> 00:09:33,997 Of course I do! This is your night. 255 00:09:33,998 --> 00:09:35,999 And we all know what Carl can be like. 256 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:39,635 A grown-up party is no place for a 12-year-old girl. 257 00:09:41,371 --> 00:09:42,471 SAMUEL: Ah. 258 00:09:42,473 --> 00:09:43,473 Congratulations. 259 00:09:43,474 --> 00:09:45,274 Thank you. 260 00:09:47,143 --> 00:09:49,112 Seriously? A life vest? 261 00:09:49,113 --> 00:09:51,980 I'm sorry, I thought we were on a boat. 262 00:09:53,149 --> 00:09:54,751 Happy anniversary, Mike. 263 00:09:54,752 --> 00:09:56,151 Two tickets to Wicked. 264 00:09:56,153 --> 00:09:57,453 Wow, hey, thanks, Harry. 265 00:09:57,454 --> 00:09:59,187 Molly's been wanting to see that show. 266 00:09:59,189 --> 00:10:00,189 Oh. 267 00:10:00,190 --> 00:10:01,124 Sure, Molly. 268 00:10:01,125 --> 00:10:03,625 Yeah, I can see it another time. 269 00:10:06,029 --> 00:10:07,797 This is a beautiful venue. 270 00:10:07,798 --> 00:10:09,532 Yeah. You really went all out. 271 00:10:09,533 --> 00:10:10,900 High-class, all the way. 272 00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,467 It's a cash bar, deal with it. 273 00:10:16,072 --> 00:10:17,673 Carl, what the hell are you doing here? 274 00:10:17,674 --> 00:10:19,708 You promised me you weren't coming. I did. 275 00:10:19,710 --> 00:10:21,509 But time has passed, and things have changed. 276 00:10:21,511 --> 00:10:22,544 Who's this? 277 00:10:22,546 --> 00:10:24,213 Allow me to introduce you to Stephanie. 278 00:10:24,214 --> 00:10:25,548 I pulled her off Craigslist. 279 00:10:25,549 --> 00:10:26,748 Hi. 280 00:10:29,619 --> 00:10:30,953 Please don't do this. 281 00:10:30,954 --> 00:10:32,321 I'm not doing anything but enjoying 282 00:10:32,322 --> 00:10:33,956 a moonlit cruise on Lake Michigan. 283 00:10:33,957 --> 00:10:35,491 And until we cross into Canadian waters, 284 00:10:35,492 --> 00:10:37,492 this is still a free country. 285 00:10:37,494 --> 00:10:39,928 You know what's gonna happen when Victoria spots you? 286 00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:41,931 Well, I don't know exactly, but for the amount of money 287 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:43,865 I paid on Stephanie, I hope her head explodes. 288 00:10:47,903 --> 00:10:49,605 I see the entertainment has arrived. 289 00:10:49,606 --> 00:10:50,905 (groans) 290 00:10:50,907 --> 00:10:54,442 Eight dollars for rum and Coke suddenly seems like a bargain. 291 00:11:09,315 --> 00:11:10,916 This is so romantic. 292 00:11:10,918 --> 00:11:13,553 You're lucky you got somebody to share this with, Mom. 293 00:11:13,554 --> 00:11:15,655 Aw, honey, I know you're disappointed, 294 00:11:15,656 --> 00:11:17,589 but you're gonna find somebody. 295 00:11:17,591 --> 00:11:19,391 Probably when you least expect it. 296 00:11:19,393 --> 00:11:21,361 Look at your mother and me. 297 00:11:21,362 --> 00:11:23,730 Who knew a sloppy drunken one-night stand 298 00:11:23,731 --> 00:11:25,398 would turn into forever? 299 00:11:25,399 --> 00:11:27,267 Not me, that's for sure. 300 00:11:27,268 --> 00:11:30,403 I woke up next to this one and thought, "What have I done"" 301 00:11:30,404 --> 00:11:31,704 (chuckles) 302 00:11:31,705 --> 00:11:34,072 "And who still has a water bed"" 303 00:11:34,074 --> 00:11:36,975 Say what you want, but that bed did half the work. 304 00:11:37,810 --> 00:11:40,146 Point is, love is tricky. 305 00:11:40,147 --> 00:11:41,713 You can't go looking for it. 306 00:11:41,715 --> 00:11:43,583 Then how am I gonna find it? 307 00:11:43,584 --> 00:11:46,284 You don't. It finds you. 308 00:11:47,787 --> 00:11:49,788 Is it here now? 309 00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:52,091 It was, till you just asked. 310 00:11:52,092 --> 00:11:54,994 Now it's gone again, till you forget about it. 311 00:11:54,995 --> 00:11:57,262 Have you not heard a word we've said? 312 00:11:58,097 --> 00:12:00,298 This is all very confusing. 313 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,300 Exactly. 314 00:12:01,301 --> 00:12:02,467 That's love. 315 00:12:03,936 --> 00:12:05,905 Three years married. 316 00:12:05,906 --> 00:12:09,608 That's right around the time Mike's dad first cheated on me. 317 00:12:09,609 --> 00:12:12,678 You sure you don't want to save that story for your toast? 318 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:14,546 Mm. 319 00:12:14,548 --> 00:12:16,048 I should've known something was up 320 00:12:16,049 --> 00:12:18,083 when he switched to colored underwear. 321 00:12:18,084 --> 00:12:20,019 I guess what I'm saying is 322 00:12:20,020 --> 00:12:23,788 Mike knows the warning signs, so watch your step. 323 00:12:23,790 --> 00:12:25,623 Hey, Ma. 324 00:12:25,625 --> 00:12:28,159 Check her underwear to see what color it is. 325 00:12:30,963 --> 00:12:32,598 Listen... No, you listen. 326 00:12:32,599 --> 00:12:34,967 You did it... this party is amazing. 327 00:12:34,968 --> 00:12:36,635 And the bartender knows I'm the bride, 328 00:12:36,636 --> 00:12:38,270 so I keep getting free drinks. 329 00:12:38,271 --> 00:12:39,705 (laughs) 330 00:12:39,706 --> 00:12:41,173 Maybe you want to take it easy. 331 00:12:41,174 --> 00:12:43,107 We might have to keep our wits about us. 332 00:12:43,109 --> 00:12:44,743 Oh, no. 333 00:12:44,744 --> 00:12:47,713 Is this some kind of murder-mystery cruise? 334 00:12:47,714 --> 00:12:50,782 Mike, you were doing so well. 335 00:12:50,784 --> 00:12:52,383 No, Carl's on the boat. 336 00:12:52,385 --> 00:12:53,684 What? And he brought a date. 337 00:12:53,686 --> 00:12:55,420 What? And I dropped my phone in the toilet, 338 00:12:55,421 --> 00:12:58,022 but Carl is the main problem. 339 00:12:58,024 --> 00:12:59,524 Well, you got to get him out of here 340 00:12:59,525 --> 00:13:02,261 before Victoria sees him. We're in the middle of a lake. 341 00:13:02,262 --> 00:13:03,661 What do you want me to do? Push him overboard? 342 00:13:03,663 --> 00:13:05,030 There are a lot of boats out there. 343 00:13:05,031 --> 00:13:06,597 Somebody's gonna pick him up. 344 00:13:06,599 --> 00:13:08,533 Molly. Fine. 345 00:13:08,534 --> 00:13:11,569 Give him a flashlight and a whistle. 346 00:13:12,504 --> 00:13:14,372 Hey, Harry. 347 00:13:14,373 --> 00:13:15,707 Have you seen Victoria? 348 00:13:15,708 --> 00:13:17,174 No, I have not. 349 00:13:17,176 --> 00:13:19,543 And you're not supposed to be here. 350 00:13:19,545 --> 00:13:21,947 Shouldn't you be floating out in the darkness or somewhere, 351 00:13:21,948 --> 00:13:23,681 waiting for a ship to hit you? 352 00:13:23,683 --> 00:13:27,885 Haven't you hurt enough people today? 353 00:13:30,088 --> 00:13:31,589 Charmed. 354 00:13:33,458 --> 00:13:35,794 You know something, it might be the three margaritas, 355 00:13:35,795 --> 00:13:37,695 but I'm feeling much better. 356 00:13:37,696 --> 00:13:39,029 Aw, see? 357 00:13:39,031 --> 00:13:41,800 I don't know why they say alcohol's a depressant. 358 00:13:41,801 --> 00:13:43,134 It fixes everything. 359 00:13:43,135 --> 00:13:44,436 Mm-hmm. 360 00:13:44,437 --> 00:13:45,570 Listen, Victoria. 361 00:13:45,571 --> 00:13:47,004 We-we may have a bit of a situation. 362 00:13:47,006 --> 00:13:48,939 (Carl whoops, dance music playing) 363 00:13:49,974 --> 00:13:51,942 (grunting rhythmically) 364 00:13:52,777 --> 00:13:54,812 (whoops) 365 00:13:54,814 --> 00:13:57,247 I'm sorry, he wasn't supposed to come. 366 00:13:57,249 --> 00:13:59,250 Don't worry, I'll go get rid of the two of them. 367 00:13:59,251 --> 00:14:00,585 No, you won't. 368 00:14:00,586 --> 00:14:02,052 I'll handle this. 369 00:14:02,054 --> 00:14:03,521 Ah, that's my girl. 370 00:14:03,522 --> 00:14:05,857 Get her to the ground, put her in a camel clutch. 371 00:14:05,858 --> 00:14:07,225 End this quick so we can get back 372 00:14:07,226 --> 00:14:08,792 to your sister's nice party. 373 00:14:13,297 --> 00:14:15,532 Hey, Carl. 374 00:14:15,534 --> 00:14:19,970 I hope you have a wonderful time at the party. 375 00:14:21,472 --> 00:14:23,841 See, that's how we Flynn girls do it. 376 00:14:23,842 --> 00:14:25,476 Pure class. 377 00:14:25,477 --> 00:14:26,977 Jackass. 378 00:14:28,312 --> 00:14:30,247 Unbelievable. 379 00:14:32,450 --> 00:14:34,618 Ah, best drink ever. 380 00:14:40,591 --> 00:14:43,227 Okay, everybody, come on, gather round. 381 00:14:43,228 --> 00:14:45,829 It's time for Mike to open his present. 382 00:14:45,831 --> 00:14:47,998 Been wanting to get you something that, you know, 383 00:14:47,999 --> 00:14:50,501 is from the heart and shows you how much I love you. 384 00:14:50,502 --> 00:14:52,202 Aw, thank you, sweetie. 385 00:14:52,204 --> 00:14:54,872 All right, it's... 386 00:14:54,873 --> 00:14:57,207 an old window! 387 00:14:57,208 --> 00:14:58,509 I love it. 388 00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:00,143 Turn it over. Over. 389 00:15:01,245 --> 00:15:02,580 Aw... 390 00:15:02,581 --> 00:15:04,248 It's stuff from our life together. 391 00:15:04,249 --> 00:15:06,083 Yeah, Cubbies tickets. 392 00:15:06,084 --> 00:15:08,118 And, oh, there's the "Do Not Disturb" sign 393 00:15:08,119 --> 00:15:09,586 from that hotel where we first... 394 00:15:09,587 --> 00:15:11,921 Okay. Okay, a lot of good memories. 395 00:15:11,923 --> 00:15:13,490 You like it? 396 00:15:13,491 --> 00:15:14,491 I love it. 397 00:15:14,492 --> 00:15:15,526 And I love you. 398 00:15:15,527 --> 00:15:17,494 I love you, too. 399 00:15:17,495 --> 00:15:18,528 All right. 400 00:15:18,530 --> 00:15:21,498 I would like to say a few words. 401 00:15:21,499 --> 00:15:22,999 Oh, thanks. 402 00:15:25,135 --> 00:15:27,770 Four years, three months and two days ago, 403 00:15:27,772 --> 00:15:31,808 I had no idea who the hell I was or where I was going. 404 00:15:31,809 --> 00:15:34,912 And one day later, all of that changed. 405 00:15:34,913 --> 00:15:36,513 'Cause I met a girl. 406 00:15:36,514 --> 00:15:40,082 And her only flaw was her taste in men. 407 00:15:40,084 --> 00:15:41,450 (laughter) 408 00:15:41,452 --> 00:15:44,153 And I thank God for that every day. 409 00:15:44,155 --> 00:15:46,456 I hope everyone here is lucky enough 410 00:15:46,457 --> 00:15:50,093 to feel the way I feel at least once in their life. 411 00:15:50,094 --> 00:15:52,329 Here is to love. 412 00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:54,397 ALL: Aw... 413 00:15:54,398 --> 00:15:55,931 (applause) 414 00:16:00,403 --> 00:16:02,405 Did you have the garlic prawns? 415 00:16:02,406 --> 00:16:03,973 No. Good. 416 00:16:08,678 --> 00:16:10,714 Uh, as you probably know by now, 417 00:16:10,715 --> 00:16:12,682 I did have the garlic prawns. 418 00:16:12,683 --> 00:16:15,184 But I sensed this was my moment. 419 00:16:15,186 --> 00:16:17,619 Well, I'd hate to catch what he just gave you. 420 00:16:17,621 --> 00:16:18,988 Don't worry, uh, I'm very clean. 421 00:16:18,989 --> 00:16:21,390 No one has touched me in three years. 422 00:16:21,392 --> 00:16:23,625 Well, let's change that. 423 00:16:23,627 --> 00:16:24,860 Hey, get off of her, man! 424 00:16:24,862 --> 00:16:26,496 Hey, hey, hey, that's enough, Carl. 425 00:16:26,497 --> 00:16:28,331 Come here, come here. What is wrong with you? 426 00:16:28,332 --> 00:16:30,832 Let go of me, man! Got nothing to do with you. Hey, hey! 427 00:16:30,834 --> 00:16:32,901 (splash) 428 00:16:34,737 --> 00:16:35,971 You happy?! 429 00:16:35,973 --> 00:16:37,372 Now, how is this my fault? 430 00:16:37,374 --> 00:16:39,809 How is this your fault? Because you made it about you. 431 00:16:39,810 --> 00:16:42,911 You're selfish, you're a baby, and you're a crappy friend! 432 00:16:42,913 --> 00:16:44,247 Oh, I'm a crappy friend, huh? 433 00:16:44,248 --> 00:16:45,581 None of this would have happened 434 00:16:45,582 --> 00:16:46,882 if you just invited me, but you didn't. 435 00:16:46,884 --> 00:16:49,252 You chose them over me like you always do. 436 00:16:49,253 --> 00:16:51,353 Well, Victoria's family. 437 00:16:51,355 --> 00:16:53,256 Yeah, I thought I was family. 438 00:16:53,257 --> 00:16:55,323 Honestly, I don't know what you are right now. 439 00:16:55,325 --> 00:16:57,392 Mike, it's okay. 440 00:16:57,394 --> 00:16:59,428 No, it's not. He ruined everything. 441 00:16:59,429 --> 00:17:02,031 All our memories are at the bottom of Lake Michigan. 442 00:17:02,032 --> 00:17:04,400 Hey, we'll make more, okay? 443 00:17:04,401 --> 00:17:06,402 We don't need a bunch of stuff in an old window 444 00:17:06,403 --> 00:17:07,636 to prove what we've got. 445 00:17:07,638 --> 00:17:11,273 Come on, let the bride get you a drink. 446 00:17:14,510 --> 00:17:16,444 So was all that just...? 447 00:17:16,446 --> 00:17:18,680 Okay, that's what I thought. 448 00:17:30,657 --> 00:17:32,424 I haven't seen Carl yet. 449 00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:34,394 No, he's apologizing this time, 450 00:17:34,395 --> 00:17:37,430 and he'd better have a scone in his hand when he does it. 451 00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,299 Hey, uh, what do you say this weekend, 452 00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:41,634 we go down to that little hotel and see if we can't 453 00:17:41,635 --> 00:17:45,138 earn ourselves another "Do Not Disturb" sign? 454 00:17:45,139 --> 00:17:47,173 And Dave & Buster's? 455 00:17:47,174 --> 00:17:48,808 God, I love you. 456 00:17:48,809 --> 00:17:50,476 All right, I'll talk to you later. 457 00:17:50,477 --> 00:17:52,711 Okay, love you, bye. 458 00:17:52,713 --> 00:17:54,913 Hey, Biggs. 459 00:17:55,982 --> 00:17:57,516 Ramirez, what are you doing? 460 00:17:57,518 --> 00:17:59,385 Oh, you didn't hear? Carl requested a transfer. 461 00:17:59,386 --> 00:18:01,754 He already cleared his locker out. 462 00:18:01,755 --> 00:18:03,756 What are you talking about? 463 00:18:03,757 --> 00:18:05,223 I'm your new partner. 464 00:18:05,225 --> 00:18:06,826 Buckle up, big guy. 465 00:18:06,827 --> 00:18:09,161 I've got rules in my squad car. 466 00:18:15,837 --> 00:18:21,911 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 32970

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