All language subtitles for Mike & Molly - 01x21 - Samuel Gets Fired.hdtv.xvid-fqm.English.HI.C.edit.Addic7ed.com
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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,304
I noticed you been eating
a lot of oatmeal lately.
2
00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:05,271
Yeah, it's nutritious,
3
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:06,973
filling, and the extra fiber
4
00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:09,409
helps keep the intestinal train
running on time.
5
00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:11,044
Mmm.
6
00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:12,345
Well, I hope today
we're near a gas station
7
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,514
when the Mike Biggs choo-choo
comes clickety-clacking through town.
8
00:00:15,425 --> 00:00:18,393
squeezing into that
construction site porta-potty
9
00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:20,128
would not have been
my first choice either.
10
00:00:20,129 --> 00:00:21,530
I will say that's the fastest
11
00:00:21,531 --> 00:00:23,098
I've ever seen you
go over a fence.
12
00:00:23,099 --> 00:00:26,668
30 seconds later, you would've
seen me go through a fence.
13
00:00:26,669 --> 00:00:29,471
If I cannot pay my rent,
I will have no place to live!
14
00:00:29,472 --> 00:00:30,772
You are killing me!
15
00:00:30,773 --> 00:00:32,207
- Samuel?
- What?!
16
00:00:32,208 --> 00:00:35,043
Could I get just a smidge more
Brown sugar for my oatmeal?
17
00:00:36,781 --> 00:00:39,116
Abe has promised me a raise
every month for two years.
18
00:00:39,117 --> 00:00:41,485
But do I ever see an extra
dollar in my paycheck?
19
00:00:41,486 --> 00:00:42,986
No, I do not!
20
00:00:42,987 --> 00:00:44,121
That's rough.
21
00:00:44,122 --> 00:00:46,256
Could you also grab me
a handful of raisins?
22
00:00:47,725 --> 00:00:50,561
Hang on, Mike. I think we got
a brother in distress here.
23
00:00:50,562 --> 00:00:51,995
I guess we know which one of you
24
00:00:51,996 --> 00:00:53,497
will be the first
to make detective.
25
00:00:53,498 --> 00:00:56,099
Carl, stay out of it.
26
00:00:56,100 --> 00:00:57,301
What's the problem, man?
27
00:00:57,302 --> 00:00:58,702
The landlord has
increased my rent,
28
00:00:58,703 --> 00:01:00,070
and I'm going to be evicted
29
00:01:00,071 --> 00:01:01,805
if I don't get the raise
I was promised!
30
00:01:01,806 --> 00:01:03,754
You need me to have a
word with your boss?
31
00:01:03,755 --> 00:01:04,241
Carl...
32
00:01:04,242 --> 00:01:06,610
What? I can talk
to these fat cats.
33
00:01:06,611 --> 00:01:07,811
Remember, I was our precinct's
34
00:01:07,812 --> 00:01:09,613
union representative
for two years running.
35
00:01:09,614 --> 00:01:12,382
Yes, but it was supposed
to be a four-year term.
36
00:01:13,785 --> 00:01:16,286
And thanks to me, there are now
new rules in place
37
00:01:16,287 --> 00:01:18,222
about the early removal
of a union rep.
38
00:01:19,657 --> 00:01:21,258
Go tell Abe I need
to talk to him.
39
00:01:21,259 --> 00:01:22,426
Samuel, I implore you.
40
00:01:22,427 --> 00:01:24,061
Do not let Carl
speak on your behalf.
41
00:01:24,062 --> 00:01:26,396
What's the big deal? I'm just
going to reason with him.
42
00:01:26,397 --> 00:01:28,532
Go get Abe.
43
00:01:28,533 --> 00:01:30,234
Carl, you're my best friend
in the world,
44
00:01:30,235 --> 00:01:32,035
but you're a hothead
and a loudmouth.
45
00:01:32,036 --> 00:01:34,238
That's just when we have
to play "good cop, bad cop."
46
00:01:34,239 --> 00:01:35,939
It's actually more
"embarrassed cop
47
00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:37,774
and source of
embarrassment cop."
48
00:01:37,775 --> 00:01:39,309
What's the problem?
49
00:01:39,310 --> 00:01:41,545
Something wrong
with your free food?
50
00:01:43,014 --> 00:01:45,716
Listen, Abe, I think you and
Samuel need to talk, you know?
51
00:01:45,717 --> 00:01:46,783
Create an open dialogue.
52
00:01:46,784 --> 00:01:48,485
Is this in any way
to be considered
53
00:01:48,486 --> 00:01:50,220
official police business?
54
00:01:50,221 --> 00:01:51,922
No, just helping out a friend.
55
00:01:51,923 --> 00:01:53,891
Then bye-bye, Johnny law.
56
00:01:53,892 --> 00:01:55,859
You going to be a troublemaker?
57
00:01:55,860 --> 00:01:57,361
'Cause I don't need
a troublemaker.
58
00:01:57,362 --> 00:01:59,563
Hey, he's just a working man
standing up for his rights.
59
00:01:59,564 --> 00:02:02,299
I wait tables, I wash dishes,
I take out the trash.
60
00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:03,600
And all I want in return
61
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,302
is the salary increase
that you promised me.
62
00:02:05,303 --> 00:02:07,170
Economic climate
was much different
63
00:02:07,171 --> 00:02:08,305
when I make that promise.
64
00:02:08,306 --> 00:02:11,041
Market crash! Financial
world go topsy-turvy.
65
00:02:11,042 --> 00:02:14,578
This is not Morgan Stanley,
this is bacon and eggs!
66
00:02:14,579 --> 00:02:16,613
I don't have time
for this nonsense.
67
00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,615
- You go bus tables.
- Don't you move.
68
00:02:18,616 --> 00:02:20,884
All right, all right.
Everybody just calm down.
69
00:02:20,885 --> 00:02:22,119
Oh, oh.
70
00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,388
Now you going to get
in my face, too, huh, big boy?
71
00:02:24,389 --> 00:02:26,490
Never pay for one meal,
now you're going to tell me
72
00:02:26,491 --> 00:02:27,958
how to run my business?
73
00:02:27,959 --> 00:02:29,960
Hey, if you want me to pay
for my food, I'm happy to.
74
00:02:29,961 --> 00:02:31,762
Oh, sure. Now.
75
00:02:31,763 --> 00:02:33,797
Nothing but oatmeal
and a dinner salad.
76
00:02:33,798 --> 00:02:35,766
Pay for days before diet.
77
00:02:35,767 --> 00:02:38,869
The three milkshake,
pork chop, apple pie days.
78
00:02:41,258 --> 00:02:42,992
Carl, this is none
of our business.
79
00:02:46,463 --> 00:02:47,997
All Sammy wants
is a little bit of a raise
80
00:02:47,998 --> 00:02:48,965
so he can pay his rent.
81
00:02:48,966 --> 00:02:50,867
This is a tough economic times.
82
00:02:50,868 --> 00:02:53,302
Every American
must tighten belt.
83
00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:57,106
Good luck to you.
84
00:02:57,107 --> 00:02:58,307
He's not asking for a handout.
85
00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:00,710
- He just wants the raise he was promised.
- Walk away.
86
00:03:00,711 --> 00:03:03,613
You send the goons with the
guns to threaten me, huh?
87
00:03:03,614 --> 00:03:05,114
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's not what we're doing.
88
00:03:05,115 --> 00:03:06,749
You are bad news.
89
00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:09,152
Guess what? You don't
work here anymore.
90
00:03:09,153 --> 00:03:11,220
- You're firing me?
- You can't do that.
91
00:03:11,221 --> 00:03:12,722
I can, and I did.
92
00:03:12,723 --> 00:03:14,524
You poke stick at cobra,
you get the fangs!
93
00:03:14,525 --> 00:03:16,325
(Hisses)
94
00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:19,962
And your days of free
breakfasts are over,
95
00:03:19,963 --> 00:03:22,365
Crockett and tubbs.
96
00:03:24,935 --> 00:03:28,304
Oh, wonderful.
No job, no home.
97
00:03:28,305 --> 00:03:29,572
I'm sorry, man.
98
00:03:29,573 --> 00:03:32,542
I'd invite you to stay
at my place, but...
99
00:03:32,543 --> 00:03:35,244
Grandma doesn't let me
have sleepovers.
100
00:03:40,517 --> 00:03:44,320
Oh, man,
I just wanted some oatmeal.
101
00:03:45,989 --> 00:03:50,827
♪ For the first time
in my life ♪
102
00:03:50,828 --> 00:03:54,197
♪ I see love. ♪
103
00:03:56,941 --> 00:04:00,441
Sync and corrected by dr.jackson
for www.addic7ed.com
104
00:04:05,133 --> 00:04:08,268
All right, the couch is yours
till you get your own place.
105
00:04:08,269 --> 00:04:09,336
Thank you.
106
00:04:09,337 --> 00:04:10,704
Not a lot of rules here.
107
00:04:10,705 --> 00:04:12,806
I'd appreciate you wearing
flip-flops in the shower
108
00:04:12,807 --> 00:04:14,875
so we don't swap each
other's foot fungus.
109
00:04:14,876 --> 00:04:16,543
Got it.
110
00:04:16,544 --> 00:04:18,578
Also, the bathroom sink
is not a drinking fountain.
111
00:04:18,579 --> 00:04:20,213
There is a cup in the holder,
112
00:04:20,214 --> 00:04:22,215
which I would prefer
that you didn't drink from.
113
00:04:22,216 --> 00:04:23,917
Anyway, make yourself at home.
114
00:04:23,918 --> 00:04:25,552
I'm headed over to
Molly's for dinner.
115
00:04:25,553 --> 00:04:27,220
Tell her hello for me.
116
00:04:27,221 --> 00:04:28,388
Will do.
117
00:04:28,389 --> 00:04:30,424
Help yourself to whatever's
in the fridge.
118
00:04:30,425 --> 00:04:32,159
Just steer clear
of the frozen Milky Way
119
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,593
I got hid behind the ice trays.
120
00:04:33,594 --> 00:04:36,663
I'm not going to eat it,
but I like knowing it's there.
121
00:04:37,899 --> 00:04:39,733
Mike, I'm sorry I didn't
take your advice today.
122
00:04:39,734 --> 00:04:41,935
Yeah, well, I told you
not to listen to Carl.
123
00:04:41,936 --> 00:04:43,770
I know.
He talks a good game,
124
00:04:43,771 --> 00:04:46,173
but you are clearly
the brains of the team.
125
00:04:47,742 --> 00:04:49,476
Forgive me for not
seeing it sooner.
126
00:04:49,477 --> 00:04:51,144
Aw, don't beat yourself
up about it.
127
00:04:51,145 --> 00:04:53,480
We've all taken his bad advice
from time to time.
128
00:04:53,481 --> 00:04:55,916
There was a two-week period
where I had spiky blond hair
129
00:04:55,917 --> 00:04:58,118
and a soul patch.
130
00:04:58,119 --> 00:05:00,754
Well, have a nice time tonight.
131
00:05:00,755 --> 00:05:03,657
You deserve an evening of
friends and good food.
132
00:05:03,658 --> 00:05:06,526
Plus it will give me the
opportunity to sit here alone,
133
00:05:06,527 --> 00:05:09,363
contemplating where my life
went so horribly wrong.
134
00:05:10,298 --> 00:05:14,001
Everybody could use
a little "me" time.
135
00:05:14,002 --> 00:05:16,203
(Sighs heavily)
136
00:05:21,242 --> 00:05:22,743
Samuel, would you...
137
00:05:22,744 --> 00:05:24,978
I'll get my coat.
Okay.
138
00:05:28,983 --> 00:05:31,885
Did you get enough
to eat, Samuel?
139
00:05:31,886 --> 00:05:34,187
I am perfectly satiated.
Dinner was delightful.
140
00:05:34,188 --> 00:05:36,423
What did you call
that dish again?
141
00:05:36,424 --> 00:05:39,993
Pot roast. You serve it at
Abe's. I had it Wednesday.
142
00:05:41,496 --> 00:05:44,798
Listen, I know things
seem pretty grim right now,
143
00:05:44,799 --> 00:05:47,067
but I'm sure something
will turn up.
144
00:05:47,068 --> 00:05:49,970
You know, when I first graduated
from cosmetology school,
145
00:05:49,971 --> 00:05:51,838
there were no jobs anywhere.
146
00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:54,207
And I thought, "oh, my God.
147
00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:57,044
I just wasted three weeks
of my life."
148
00:05:59,981 --> 00:06:01,882
So how did you find work?
149
00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:05,786
Two words:
Right place, right time.
150
00:06:05,787 --> 00:06:08,555
That's actually four words...
151
00:06:08,556 --> 00:06:09,990
You know what? Just...
152
00:06:09,991 --> 00:06:11,825
Anyway,
153
00:06:11,826 --> 00:06:14,461
I was dating this funeral
director, and one day
154
00:06:14,462 --> 00:06:17,397
I was taking a little "disco
nap" in a empty casket.
155
00:06:18,366 --> 00:06:20,467
You know, like you...
like you do.
156
00:06:20,468 --> 00:06:21,802
Uh-huh.
157
00:06:21,803 --> 00:06:24,971
And a client came in and thought
I looked very natural,
158
00:06:24,972 --> 00:06:27,207
and asked who did my makeup.
159
00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:30,444
I popped up and said,
"that would be me, hon."
160
00:06:31,612 --> 00:06:34,781
Well, before that woman came to,
161
00:06:34,782 --> 00:06:37,451
I was embarking on
an exciting new career...
162
00:06:37,452 --> 00:06:40,854
Cosmetician to
the recently deceased.
163
00:06:40,855 --> 00:06:44,891
See? Is those kinds
of inspirational stories
164
00:06:44,892 --> 00:06:46,326
that brought me to this country.
165
00:06:46,327 --> 00:06:49,096
That one made it all
the way to Africa, huh?
166
00:06:51,966 --> 00:06:53,900
Can I get you another
glass of wine?
167
00:06:53,901 --> 00:06:57,137
Well, how could I say no
to a woman as beautiful as you?
168
00:06:57,138 --> 00:07:00,307
Oh, my God, you're so charming.
169
00:07:00,308 --> 00:07:02,709
I can't believe you're
unemployed and homeless.
170
00:07:04,612 --> 00:07:06,947
I know you'll find a job,
171
00:07:06,948 --> 00:07:09,716
and I know Mike is happy to
have you stay at his place
172
00:07:09,717 --> 00:07:11,084
until you get back on your feet.
173
00:07:11,085 --> 00:07:15,021
Well, hopefully I can accomplish
that in the next 48 hours.
174
00:07:15,022 --> 00:07:17,290
You said hit the bricks
in two days, right?
175
00:07:18,126 --> 00:07:19,793
Mike?
176
00:07:19,794 --> 00:07:23,163
I'm just trying to keep
a fire lit under his ass.
177
00:07:23,164 --> 00:07:25,232
Oh...
178
00:07:25,233 --> 00:07:26,867
He's here most
of the time anyway,
179
00:07:26,868 --> 00:07:29,503
so you can have his place
as long as you need it.
180
00:07:29,504 --> 00:07:31,638
Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's
not get carried away.
181
00:07:31,639 --> 00:07:32,172
(Laughs)
182
00:07:36,144 --> 00:07:38,812
Oh, really?
You're giving me that face?
183
00:07:40,148 --> 00:07:41,848
(Giggles)
184
00:07:41,849 --> 00:07:43,316
Samuel,
185
00:07:43,317 --> 00:07:46,786
you're welcome to stay at my
place for as long as you need.
186
00:07:46,787 --> 00:07:48,855
Thank you, Mike.
187
00:07:48,856 --> 00:07:51,358
You know, sometimes
I think your body is so big
188
00:07:51,359 --> 00:07:54,361
just to accommodate
the size of your heart.
189
00:07:55,463 --> 00:07:57,964
Oh, what a beautiful way
to say "you're fat."
190
00:08:05,306 --> 00:08:08,108
So...
191
00:08:08,109 --> 00:08:10,243
What is the deal
with Molly's sister?
192
00:08:11,979 --> 00:08:15,482
Hands off. She's already got
a boyfriend without a job.
193
00:08:17,552 --> 00:08:20,287
Well, I just thought, if she's
half as wonderful as Molly is...
194
00:08:20,288 --> 00:08:21,721
All right, look.
I'm onto you, pal.
195
00:08:21,722 --> 00:08:23,190
I see the little game
you're playing.
196
00:08:23,191 --> 00:08:24,491
What game, Mike?
197
00:08:24,492 --> 00:08:26,293
I'm simply commenting
on what a lucky man you are.
198
00:08:26,294 --> 00:08:27,761
Yeah, I get it.
199
00:08:27,762 --> 00:08:29,863
(Imitating Samuel): I have so
much, and you have so little.
200
00:08:29,864 --> 00:08:32,432
Is that supposed to be me?
201
00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:35,001
(Imitating Samuel):
Yes, it is.
202
00:08:35,002 --> 00:08:36,670
(Normal voice): And don't
pretend like that accent
203
00:08:36,671 --> 00:08:39,573
doesn't thicken up like gravy
when there are women around.
204
00:08:39,574 --> 00:08:41,241
You know, perhaps it is better
205
00:08:41,242 --> 00:08:43,376
if I just wander
the streets till morning.
206
00:08:43,377 --> 00:08:44,878
Abe's opens at 5:00.
207
00:08:44,879 --> 00:08:47,347
Oh, wait.
I can't go there anymore.
208
00:08:47,348 --> 00:08:50,483
Look, I'm dropping you off
at my place,
209
00:08:50,484 --> 00:08:52,552
but we're stopping at the
7-Eleven and getting a newspaper
210
00:08:52,553 --> 00:08:55,288
so you can start looking for a
job first thing in the morning.
211
00:08:55,289 --> 00:08:56,656
Of course.
212
00:08:56,657 --> 00:08:58,892
And you're filling out an
application at the 7-Eleven.
213
00:08:58,893 --> 00:09:00,427
Absolutely.
214
00:09:00,428 --> 00:09:01,728
And listen, Mike,
215
00:09:01,729 --> 00:09:03,997
I cannot thank you enough
for your generosity.
216
00:09:03,998 --> 00:09:06,666
In my homeland, you would be
revered as a king.
217
00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:08,835
There would be a festival
in your honor.
218
00:09:08,836 --> 00:09:10,904
Women would name their children
after you.
219
00:09:10,905 --> 00:09:12,505
Your picture would be on money.
220
00:09:12,506 --> 00:09:14,241
All right,
what do you want now, my car?
221
00:09:14,242 --> 00:09:17,410
Only when you're not using it.
222
00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:26,578
So is Samuel still crashing
at your place?
223
00:09:26,579 --> 00:09:28,480
Yep. Meanwhile,
I'm stuck at Molly's,
224
00:09:28,481 --> 00:09:29,782
with her recycling rules
225
00:09:29,783 --> 00:09:32,451
and clipping my toenails
over the toilet.
226
00:09:32,452 --> 00:09:34,826
I don't know how much
longer I can take it, Carl.
227
00:09:34,827 --> 00:09:37,356
Yep. Man's got to
have his own space.
228
00:09:37,357 --> 00:09:39,658
I tell you, if I didn't have
my lawn chair in the garage,
229
00:09:39,659 --> 00:09:42,561
cohabitation with my grandma
would be an impossibility.
230
00:09:42,562 --> 00:09:43,996
Abe:
Hey.
231
00:09:43,997 --> 00:09:45,998
Why you flatfoots
still come back here?
232
00:09:45,999 --> 00:09:48,233
I told you before,
no more free lunch.
233
00:09:48,234 --> 00:09:50,636
Abe, come on. Things got a
little heated the other day
234
00:09:50,637 --> 00:09:53,172
but Samuel's a really good kid,
and he really needs this job.
235
00:09:53,173 --> 00:09:55,841
Is too late. Position has
already been filled.
236
00:09:55,842 --> 00:09:57,476
Soo-Jin! Customer!
237
00:09:57,477 --> 00:09:59,444
She very good worker.
238
00:09:59,445 --> 00:10:02,447
And since she my wife,
it don't cost me one sweet dime.
239
00:10:02,448 --> 00:10:03,816
What is it now?
240
00:10:03,817 --> 00:10:05,484
I am watching Oprah,
waiting for
241
00:10:05,485 --> 00:10:07,686
my "ah-ha" moment,
and you not it.
242
00:10:10,101 --> 00:10:11,502
Darling,
243
00:10:11,503 --> 00:10:13,904
please bring coffee
to these two gentlemen.
244
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:17,107
(Speaking Korean)
245
00:10:23,982 --> 00:10:27,184
She'll be right back
with your beverage.
246
00:10:27,185 --> 00:10:28,919
Hang on. Are you telling me
247
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:30,455
that pretty young
thing is your wife?
248
00:10:30,456 --> 00:10:33,390
Abe: Why not?
I'm a successful, good-looking man.
249
00:10:33,391 --> 00:10:37,060
She's the big winner here.
250
00:10:37,061 --> 00:10:39,062
So you can cover her fingers
in diamonds,
251
00:10:39,063 --> 00:10:41,098
but you can't give Samuel
a 50-cent raise?
252
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:43,200
Samuel don't dress up
like catholic schoolgirl
253
00:10:43,201 --> 00:10:45,302
and call me "sweet papa."
254
00:10:47,238 --> 00:10:48,539
Oh, thank you, baby.
255
00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:50,440
Two large grapefruit juice.
256
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:51,542
We wanted coffee.
257
00:10:51,543 --> 00:10:55,479
I wanted Ben Affleck,
but I get him.
258
00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:10,504
What the hell have you done
with my apartment,
259
00:11:10,598 --> 00:11:12,532
and why are you wearing
my drapes?
260
00:11:12,533 --> 00:11:15,469
Oh. Mike. I didn't know
you were stopping by.
261
00:11:15,970 --> 00:11:18,538
I need to grab some clean
clothes before I go to Molly's.
262
00:11:18,539 --> 00:11:19,840
What is that smell?
263
00:11:19,841 --> 00:11:22,476
I'm preparing a
traditional African meal.
264
00:11:22,477 --> 00:11:25,679
What is that, two missionaries
in a crock-pot?
265
00:11:28,283 --> 00:11:29,950
Very funny.
266
00:11:29,951 --> 00:11:31,985
Anyway, I would invite you
to stay, but
267
00:11:31,986 --> 00:11:33,720
I have a lady friend
coming over.
268
00:11:33,721 --> 00:11:35,822
Please tell me
it's not Molly's sister.
269
00:11:35,823 --> 00:11:38,225
Oh, no, no, no,
she gave me a fake number.
270
00:11:39,060 --> 00:11:41,028
So hang on.
271
00:11:41,029 --> 00:11:43,664
You don't have a job yet, but
you've managed to find a date.
272
00:11:43,665 --> 00:11:45,365
It's amazing what women
will overlook
273
00:11:45,366 --> 00:11:47,868
if you have your own apartment.
274
00:11:47,869 --> 00:11:50,270
But who am I talking to?
275
00:11:50,271 --> 00:11:51,571
Yeah, yeah.
276
00:11:51,572 --> 00:11:53,874
Hey, who told you you could
move my furniture around?
277
00:11:53,875 --> 00:11:56,009
I was doing you a favor.
278
00:11:56,010 --> 00:11:57,911
The Feng Shui in
here was atrocious.
279
00:11:57,912 --> 00:11:59,446
When I open the front door,
280
00:11:59,447 --> 00:12:01,715
I like to feel
invited into the room.
281
00:12:01,716 --> 00:12:04,384
Yeah, I get that about you.
282
00:12:04,385 --> 00:12:06,019
How's the job hunt going?
283
00:12:06,020 --> 00:12:08,255
I am weighing a few options.
284
00:12:08,256 --> 00:12:09,589
I don't want to rush into
285
00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:11,191
a career path
I'm not comfortable with.
286
00:12:12,093 --> 00:12:13,093
Repeat after me:
287
00:12:13,094 --> 00:12:14,728
"Paper or plastic?"
288
00:12:14,729 --> 00:12:16,096
"Would you like fries
with that?"
289
00:12:16,097 --> 00:12:19,266
"Knock me in the water
and win a stuffed bear!"
290
00:12:20,868 --> 00:12:22,803
Can we table this discussion?
291
00:12:22,804 --> 00:12:24,304
My lady friend
will be here momentarily.
292
00:12:24,305 --> 00:12:25,772
Look, Samuel,
293
00:12:25,773 --> 00:12:27,708
you need to find a job so
you can get an apartment
294
00:12:27,709 --> 00:12:29,343
of your own and I can
have my place back.
295
00:12:29,344 --> 00:12:30,677
Hey, maybe your
evening will go well,
296
00:12:30,678 --> 00:12:32,179
and you can move in
with your new girlfriend.
297
00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:34,081
Oh, I don't think
that's a good idea.
298
00:12:34,082 --> 00:12:35,482
I believe it's important
for a man
299
00:12:35,483 --> 00:12:37,217
to have his own space,
don't you?
300
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:40,587
You know, I'm starting to think
301
00:12:40,588 --> 00:12:42,055
you didn't leave
Africa willingly.
302
00:12:42,056 --> 00:12:43,757
You got kicked out.
303
00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:47,494
Hey. I was a political refugee.
304
00:12:47,495 --> 00:12:49,529
You don't know the torment
and struggle it took
305
00:12:49,530 --> 00:12:50,864
for me to get to America,
306
00:12:50,865 --> 00:12:54,234
where I can cherish the freedoms
that you take for granted.
307
00:12:56,270 --> 00:12:59,506
The fact that they kicked me out
is beside the point.
308
00:13:03,144 --> 00:13:07,147
Man, I can't find anything
in this dump.
309
00:13:07,148 --> 00:13:10,684
And by "dump," do you mean
the house I grew up in
310
00:13:10,685 --> 00:13:13,053
that my dead father built?
311
00:13:13,054 --> 00:13:16,456
I'm sorry, it's just that I
hate living out of a suitcase.
312
00:13:16,457 --> 00:13:18,825
You don't have to.
I cleared out some closet space
313
00:13:18,826 --> 00:13:20,560
and a couple of drawers for you.
314
00:13:20,561 --> 00:13:22,095
No, no point in me settling in.
315
00:13:22,096 --> 00:13:24,498
As soon as Samuel's out of
there, I'm back to my place.
316
00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:27,033
Yeah, but that could be a couple
of weeks, maybe a month.
317
00:13:27,034 --> 00:13:29,169
And whose fault is that?
318
00:13:31,038 --> 00:13:33,974
Judging from your tone,
I guess you think it's mine?
319
00:13:35,810 --> 00:13:37,911
Look, Molly.
320
00:13:37,912 --> 00:13:40,914
I know what's going on here.
321
00:13:40,915 --> 00:13:42,749
It's in every gal's
nature to want to nest
322
00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:44,584
with an Alpha male.
323
00:13:48,623 --> 00:13:51,992
Really? Let's... go on.
324
00:13:51,993 --> 00:13:53,627
Well, as much as I hope one day
325
00:13:53,628 --> 00:13:55,462
we'll be living
under the same roof,
326
00:13:55,463 --> 00:13:57,164
I'm just not ready
for that right now.
327
00:13:57,165 --> 00:13:59,499
Oh, I get it.
328
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:02,936
You're like a wild,
untamed stallion
329
00:14:02,937 --> 00:14:06,506
and here I am, trying to
hook you up to a plow.
330
00:14:10,511 --> 00:14:12,646
I said it's not your fault.
331
00:14:15,149 --> 00:14:17,517
It's your womanly instincts.
332
00:14:20,288 --> 00:14:22,055
I'm not quite following you,
333
00:14:22,056 --> 00:14:23,790
but that's probably
just because
334
00:14:23,791 --> 00:14:25,892
I'm burdened with this
crazy lady brain.
335
00:14:25,893 --> 00:14:27,060
You know... (Blathers)
336
00:14:27,061 --> 00:14:29,463
(Giggles)
337
00:14:29,464 --> 00:14:31,832
Look, I'm not saying
you're trying to trap me
338
00:14:31,833 --> 00:14:33,834
as much as... reel me in.
339
00:14:33,835 --> 00:14:38,672
I see. Less horse, more fish.
340
00:14:40,208 --> 00:14:42,342
'Cause you know what, if I
really wanted to trap you,
341
00:14:42,343 --> 00:14:44,811
I'd dig a really big
hole in the backyard
342
00:14:44,812 --> 00:14:48,482
and cover it with moon pies.
343
00:14:50,318 --> 00:14:53,420
See, you're getting angry.
344
00:14:53,421 --> 00:14:55,856
I told you.
I don't blame you.
345
00:14:55,857 --> 00:14:57,824
It's your DNA.
346
00:15:01,329 --> 00:15:03,530
(Snoring)
347
00:15:07,568 --> 00:15:10,770
Looks like one of those
giant manatees,
348
00:15:10,771 --> 00:15:13,373
sunning itself on a big rock.
349
00:15:15,243 --> 00:15:17,244
(Snores)
350
00:15:17,245 --> 00:15:19,779
You know, that's
where the legends
351
00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:21,781
of the mermaids come from.
352
00:15:21,782 --> 00:15:24,951
Sailors would often
mistake them for women.
353
00:15:24,952 --> 00:15:27,654
Well, to me that just
sounds like a lame excuse
354
00:15:27,655 --> 00:15:30,223
for some bad behavior.
355
00:15:30,224 --> 00:15:31,358
(Snorts)
356
00:15:31,359 --> 00:15:32,993
Whoa, where am I?
357
00:15:32,994 --> 00:15:36,496
It would appear the doghouse.
358
00:15:36,497 --> 00:15:38,765
I don't know what you did
to pee on her parade,
359
00:15:38,766 --> 00:15:40,166
but if you slept on the couch,
360
00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:42,135
you're still in midstream.
361
00:15:43,571 --> 00:15:45,005
Morning, mom. Vince.
362
00:15:45,006 --> 00:15:46,406
- Morning.
- Good morning.
363
00:15:46,407 --> 00:15:48,642
Morning.
364
00:15:50,011 --> 00:15:52,946
I'm guessing time
has not healed these wounds.
365
00:15:55,182 --> 00:15:56,750
Yeah, I picked up on that, too.
366
00:15:56,751 --> 00:15:58,585
I-I'd wait till
she had her coffee.
367
00:15:58,586 --> 00:16:00,587
Otherwise
she's a real ball-buster.
368
00:16:00,588 --> 00:16:02,055
Molly:
I heard that!
369
00:16:02,056 --> 00:16:05,392
It's true!
370
00:16:09,196 --> 00:16:10,530
Got a crick in my neck
371
00:16:10,531 --> 00:16:12,432
from camping out on
the sofa last night.
372
00:16:12,433 --> 00:16:14,401
Oh, no. What a shame.
373
00:16:14,402 --> 00:16:16,603
Poor thing.
374
00:16:18,639 --> 00:16:21,207
You look very pretty
this morning. Well-rested.
375
00:16:21,208 --> 00:16:24,010
Well, it's easy to sleep when
you've got nothing on your mind
376
00:16:24,011 --> 00:16:26,279
but lipstick and man-trapping.
377
00:16:29,784 --> 00:16:31,851
Okay, look,
I never said "trap."
378
00:16:31,852 --> 00:16:34,087
But I am sorry for, you know.
379
00:16:34,088 --> 00:16:36,556
Acting like an ass?
380
00:16:36,557 --> 00:16:39,225
Well, I wouldn't
necessarily say "ass." Oh,
381
00:16:39,226 --> 00:16:41,461
big baby,
thoughtless moron, uh...
382
00:16:41,462 --> 00:16:43,697
Let's just go with "ass."
383
00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:46,433
You know, I was trying
to be nice and accommodating
384
00:16:46,434 --> 00:16:48,902
to you and your friend,
and what do I get in return?
385
00:16:48,903 --> 00:16:51,404
Accusations that I'm trying
to trap you.
386
00:16:51,405 --> 00:16:52,839
Joyce:
Let her drink her coffee.
387
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:55,475
Stay out of it, mom!
388
00:16:55,476 --> 00:16:57,777
I understand you wanting
your own space, believe me.
389
00:16:57,778 --> 00:17:00,413
Having the bed to myself last
night was like a mini-vacation.
390
00:17:00,414 --> 00:17:02,115
I could stretch out.
391
00:17:02,116 --> 00:17:04,117
I didn't have to worry about
your arm slamming down
392
00:17:04,118 --> 00:17:07,020
on my head
like a giant meat log.
393
00:17:11,892 --> 00:17:13,393
I'm sorry, Molly.
394
00:17:13,394 --> 00:17:15,428
It's not that I don't want
to stay with you.
395
00:17:15,429 --> 00:17:17,931
I just like having my apartment
as kind of a safety net.
396
00:17:17,932 --> 00:17:20,367
So do I. I'm not ready
for us to live together.
397
00:17:20,368 --> 00:17:21,901
Well, good.
398
00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:25,238
Because even if I don't use it,
I like knowing it's there.
399
00:17:25,239 --> 00:17:27,374
Yeah.
400
00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:28,475
Kinda like the Milky Way
401
00:17:28,476 --> 00:17:31,578
you keep hidden
behind your ice trays.
402
00:17:35,516 --> 00:17:37,417
You know about that.
403
00:17:39,887 --> 00:17:43,056
I've replaced it three times.
404
00:17:47,561 --> 00:17:50,830
I've replaced it four times.
405
00:17:54,268 --> 00:17:55,602
Hey, you don't keep one here,
do you?
406
00:17:55,603 --> 00:17:57,504
No. Joyce: In the
vegetable crisper!
407
00:17:57,505 --> 00:17:59,673
Mom!
408
00:18:06,689 --> 00:18:09,391
I'm sorry, I asked for
scrambled... this is over easy.
409
00:18:12,862 --> 00:18:15,297
Now scrambled.
410
00:18:18,201 --> 00:18:22,370
That woman is the worst waitress
in the world.
411
00:18:22,371 --> 00:18:23,805
Who cares? Look at her.
412
00:18:23,806 --> 00:18:26,341
She could bring me a urinal cake
and I'd eat it.
413
00:18:29,145 --> 00:18:31,780
Hey, Samuel.
What are you doing here?
414
00:18:31,781 --> 00:18:33,215
Abe called me out of the blue
415
00:18:33,216 --> 00:18:35,851
and offered me my job back
with the raise he promised.
416
00:18:35,852 --> 00:18:38,053
I told you, man.
You stayed strong and you won.
417
00:18:38,054 --> 00:18:40,455
I know, Carl. I'm so glad
I listened to you.
418
00:18:40,456 --> 00:18:42,724
You are clearly
the brains of the team.
419
00:18:44,794 --> 00:18:46,862
Well, next time you could
crash at his place.
420
00:18:46,863 --> 00:18:48,296
I hope you like the top bunk,
421
00:18:48,297 --> 00:18:50,899
and waking up
to a faceful of model airplane.
422
00:18:50,900 --> 00:18:53,401
Don't worry. I'll be
out of your home as soon as
423
00:18:53,402 --> 00:18:55,871
I can put together enough for
first and last months' rent,
424
00:18:55,872 --> 00:18:58,206
security deposit, and the
premium cable package.
425
00:18:59,575 --> 00:19:01,343
I'm afraid you've spoiled me.
426
00:19:01,344 --> 00:19:04,079
Oh, Samuel. Samuel.
427
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,080
Welcome back.
428
00:19:05,081 --> 00:19:06,548
You and me are good, right?
429
00:19:06,549 --> 00:19:07,549
Yeah, we're good.
430
00:19:07,550 --> 00:19:11,753
All right. Your first job:
Go fire my wife.
431
00:19:13,890 --> 00:19:18,226
Okay. So, 50 cent an hour raise
makes $20 a week.
432
00:19:18,227 --> 00:19:21,129
This should cover till
the end of the month.
433
00:19:21,130 --> 00:19:25,066
Nice when payoff go
the other way, huh, Serpico?
434
00:19:28,204 --> 00:19:29,471
What's going on?
435
00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:30,906
You covering Samuel's raise?
436
00:19:30,907 --> 00:19:33,608
I'd have paid twice as much
to get him out of my apartment.
437
00:19:33,609 --> 00:19:34,743
Although I got to admit,
438
00:19:34,744 --> 00:19:36,745
he did a nice job
redecorating the place.
439
00:19:36,746 --> 00:19:39,080
I know. I saw it the other night
when I went to his party.
440
00:19:39,081 --> 00:19:40,548
Party?
441
00:19:40,549 --> 00:19:44,049
Sync and corrected by dr.jackson
for www.addic7ed.com
33224
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