All language subtitles for Mike & Molly - 01x21 - Samuel Gets Fired.hdtv.xvid-f.English.HI.C.edit.Addic7ed.com

I noticed you been eating
a lot of oatmeal lately.

Yeah, it's nutritious,

filling, and the extra fiber

helps keep the intestinal train
running on time.

Mmm.

Well, I hope today
we're near a gas station

when the Mike Biggs choo-choo
comes clickety-clacking through town.

squeezing into that
construction site porta-potty

would not have been
my first choice either.

I will say that's the fastest

I've ever seen you
go over a fence.

30 seconds later, you would've
seen me go through a fence.

If I cannot pay my rent,
I will have no place to live!

You are killing me!

- Samuel?
- What?!

Could I get just a smidge more
Brown sugar for my oatmeal?

Abe has promised me a raise
every month for two years.

But do I ever see an extra
dollar in my paycheck?

No, I do not!

That's rough.

Could you also grab me
a handful of raisins?

Hang on, Mike. I think we got
a brother in distress here.

I guess we know which one of you

will be the first
to make detective.

Carl, stay out of it.

What's the problem, man?

The landlord has
increased my rent,

and I'm going to be evicted

if I don't get the raise
I was promised!

You need me to have a
word with your boss?

Carl...

What? I can talk
to these fat cats.

Remember, I was our precinct's

union representative
for two years running.

Yes, but it was supposed
to be a four-year term.

And thanks to me, there are now
new rules in place

about the early removal
of a union rep.

Go tell Abe I need
to talk to him.

Samuel, I implore you.

Do not let Carl
speak on your behalf.

What's the big deal? I'm just
going to reason with him.

Go get Abe.

Carl, you're my best friend
in the world,

but you're a hothead
and a loudmouth.

That's just when we have
to play "good cop, bad cop."

It's actually more
"embarrassed cop

and source of
embarrassment cop."

What's the problem?

Something wrong
with your free food?

Listen, Abe, I think you and
Samuel need to talk, you know?

Create an open dialogue.

Is this in any way
to be considered

official police business?

No, just helping out a friend.

Then bye-bye, Johnny law.

You going to be a troublemaker?

'Cause I don't need
a troublemaker.

Hey, he's just a working man
standing up for his rights.

I wait tables, I wash dishes,
I take out the trash.

And all I want in return

is the salary increase
that you promised me.

Economic climate
was much different

when I make that promise.

Market crash! Financial
world go topsy-turvy.

This is not Morgan Stanley,
this is bacon and eggs!

I don't have time
for this nonsense.

- You go bus tables.
- Don't you move.

All right, all right.
Everybody just calm down.

Oh, oh.

Now you going to get
in my face, too, huh, big boy?

Never pay for one meal,
now you're going to tell me

how to run my business?

Hey, if you want me to pay
for my food, I'm happy to.

Oh, sure. Now.

Nothing but oatmeal
and a dinner salad.

Pay for days before diet.

The three milkshake,
pork chop, apple pie days.

Carl, this is none
of our business.

All Sammy wants
is a little bit of a raise

so he can pay his rent.

This is a tough economic times.

Every American
must tighten belt.

Good luck to you.

He's not asking for a handout.

- He just wants the raise he was promised.
- Walk away.

You send the goons with the
guns to threaten me, huh?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's not what we're doing.

You are bad news.

Guess what? You don't
work here anymore.

- You're firing me?
- You can't do that.

I can, and I did.

You poke stick at cobra,
you get the fangs!

(Hisses)

And your days of free
breakfasts are over,

Crockett and tubbs.

Oh, wonderful.
No job, no home.

I'm sorry, man.

I'd invite you to stay
at my place, but...

Grandma doesn't let me
have sleepovers.

Oh, man,
I just wanted some oatmeal.

♪ For the first time
in my life ♪

♪ I see love. ♪

Sync and corrected by dr.jackson
for www.addic7ed.com

All right, the couch is yours
till you get your own place.

Thank you.

Not a lot of rules here.

I'd appreciate you wearing
flip-flops in the shower

so we don't swap each
other's foot fungus.

Got it.

Also, the bathroom sink
is not a drinking fountain.

There is a cup in the holder,

which I would prefer
that you didn't drink from.

Anyway, make yourself at home.

I'm headed over to
Molly's for dinner.

Tell her hello for me.

Will do.

Help yourself to whatever's
in the fridge.

Just steer clear
of the frozen Milky Way

I got hid behind the ice trays.

I'm not going to eat it,
but I like knowing it's there.

Mike, I'm sorry I didn't
take your advice today.

Yeah, well, I told you
not to listen to Carl.

I know.
He talks a good game,

but you are clearly
the brains of the team.

Forgive me for not
seeing it sooner.

Aw, don't beat yourself
up about it.

We've all taken his bad advice
from time to time.

There was a two-week period
where I had spiky blond hair

and a soul patch.

Well, have a nice time tonight.

You deserve an evening of
friends and good food.

Plus it will give me the
opportunity to sit here alone,

contemplating where my life
went so horribly wrong.

Everybody could use
a little "me" time.

(Sighs heavily)

Samuel, would you...

I'll get my coat.
Okay.

Did you get enough
to eat, Samuel?

I am perfectly satiated.
Dinner was delightful.

What did you call
that dish again?

Pot roast. You serve it at
Abe's. I had it Wednesday.

Listen, I know things
seem pretty grim right now,

but I'm sure something
will turn up.

You know, when I first graduated
from cosmetology school,

there were no jobs anywhere.

And I thought, "oh, my God.

I just wasted three weeks
of my life."

So how did you find work?

Two words:
Right place, right time.

That's actually four words...

You know what? Just...

Anyway,

I was dating this funeral
director, and one day

I was taking a little "disco
nap" in a empty casket.

You know, like you...
like you do.

Uh-huh.

And a client came in and thought
I looked very natural,

and asked who did my makeup.

I popped up and said,
"that would be me, hon."

Well, before that woman came to,

I was embarking on
an exciting new career...

Cosmetician to
the recently deceased.

See? Is those kinds
of inspirational stories

that brought me to this country.

That one made it all
the way to Africa, huh?

Can I get you another
glass of wine?

Well, how could I say no
to a woman as beautiful as you?

Oh, my God, you're so charming.

I can't believe you're
unemployed and homeless.

I know you'll find a job,

and I know Mike is happy to
have you stay at his place

until you get back on your feet.

Well, hopefully I can accomplish
that in the next 48 hours.

You said hit the bricks
in two days, right?

Mike?

I'm just trying to keep
a fire lit under his ass.

Oh...

He's here most
of the time anyway,

so you can have his place
as long as you need it.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's
not get carried away.

(Laughs)

Oh, really?
You're giving me that face?

(Giggles)

Samuel,

you're welcome to stay at my
place for as long as you need.

Thank you, Mike.

You know, sometimes
I think your body is so big

just to accommodate
the size of your heart.

Oh, what a beautiful way
to say "you're fat."

So...

What is the deal
with Molly's sister?

Hands off. She's already got
a boyfriend without a job.

Well, I just thought, if she's
half as wonderful as Molly is...

All right, look.
I'm onto you, pal.

I see the little game
you're playing.

What game, Mike?

I'm simply commenting
on what a lucky man you are.

Yeah, I get it.

(Imitating Samuel): I have so
much, and you have so little.

Is that supposed to be me?

(Imitating Samuel):
Yes, it is.

(Normal voice): And don't
pretend like that accent

doesn't thicken up like gravy
when there are women around.

You know, perhaps it is better

if I just wander
the streets till morning.

Abe's opens at 5:00.

Oh, wait.
I can't go there anymore.

Look, I'm dropping you off
at my place,

but we're stopping at the
7-Eleven and getting a newspaper

so you can start looking for a
job first thing in the morning.

Of course.

And you're filling out an
application at the 7-Eleven.

Absolutely.

And listen, Mike,

I cannot thank you enough
for your generosity.

In my homeland, you would be
revered as a king.

There would be a festival
in your honor.

Women would name their children
after you.

Your picture would be on money.

All right,
what do you want now, my car?

Only when you're not using it.

So is Samuel still crashing
at your place?

Yep. Meanwhile,
I'm stuck at Molly's,

with her recycling rules

and clipping my toenails
over the toilet.

I don't know how much
longer I can take it, Carl.

Yep. Man's got to
have his own space.

I tell you, if I didn't have
my lawn chair in the garage,

cohabitation with my grandma
would be an impossibility.

Abe:
Hey.

Why you flatfoots
still come back here?

I told you before,
no more free lunch.

Abe, come on. Things got a
little heated the other day

but Samuel's a really good kid,
and he really needs this job.

Is too late. Position has
already been filled.

Soo-Jin! Customer!

She very good worker.

And since she my wife,
it don't cost me one sweet dime.

What is it now?

I am watching Oprah,
waiting for

my "ah-ha" moment,
and you not it.

Darling,

please bring coffee
to these two gentlemen.

(Speaking Korean)

She'll be right back
with your beverage.

Hang on. Are you telling me

that pretty young
thing is your wife?

Abe: Why not?
I'm a successful, good-looking man.

She's the big winner here.

So you can cover her fingers
in diamonds,

but you can't give Samuel
a 50-cent raise?

Samuel don't dress up
like catholic schoolgirl

and call me "sweet papa."

Oh, thank you, baby.

Two large grapefruit juice.

We wanted coffee.

I wanted Ben Affleck,
but I get him.

What the hell have you done
with my apartment,

and why are you wearing
my drapes?

Oh. Mike. I didn't know
you were stopping by.

I need to grab some clean
clothes before I go to Molly's.

What is that smell?

I'm preparing a
traditional African meal.

What is that, two missionaries
in a crock-pot?

Very funny.

Anyway, I would invite you
to stay, but

I have a lady friend
coming over.

Please tell me
it's not Molly's sister.

Oh, no, no, no,
she gave me a fake number.

So hang on.

You don't have a job yet, but
you've managed to find a date.

It's amazing what women
will overlook

if you have your own apartment.

But who am I talking to?

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, who told you you could
move my furniture around?

I was doing you a favor.

The Feng Shui in
here was atrocious.

When I open the front door,

I like to feel
invited into the room.

Yeah, I get that about you.

How's the job hunt going?

I am weighing a few options.

I don't want to rush into

a career path
I'm not comfortable with.

Repeat after me:

"Paper or plastic?"

"Would you like fries
with that?"

"Knock me in the water
and win a stuffed bear!"

Can we table this discussion?

My lady friend
will be here momentarily.

Look, Samuel,

you need to find a job so
you can get an apartment

of your own and I can
have my place back.

Hey, maybe your
evening will go well,

and you can move in
with your new girlfriend.

Oh, I don't think
that's a good idea.

I believe it's important
for a man

to have his own space,
don't you?

You know, I'm starting to think

you didn't leave
Africa willingly.

You got kicked out.

Hey. I was a political refugee.

You don't know the torment
and struggle it took

for me to get to America,

where I can cherish the freedoms
that you take for granted.

The fact that they kicked me out
is beside the point.

Man, I can't find anything
in this dump.

And by "dump," do you mean
the house I grew up in

that my dead father built?

I'm sorry, it's just that I
hate living out of a suitcase.

You don't have to.
I cleared out some closet space

and a couple of drawers for you.

No, no point in me settling in.

As soon as Samuel's out of
there, I'm back to my place.

Yeah, but that could be a couple
of weeks, maybe a month.

And whose fault is that?

Judging from your tone,
I guess you think it's mine?

Look, Molly.

I know what's going on here.

It's in every gal's
nature to want to nest

with an Alpha male.

Really? Let's... go on.

Well, as much as I hope one day

we'll be living
under the same roof,

I'm just not ready
for that right now.

Oh, I get it.

You're like a wild,
untamed stallion

and here I am, trying to
hook you up to a plow.

I said it's not your fault.

It's your womanly instincts.

I'm not quite following you,

but that's probably
just because

I'm burdened with this
crazy lady brain.

You know... (Blathers)

(Giggles)

Look, I'm not saying
you're trying to trap me

as much as... reel me in.

I see. Less horse, more fish.

'Cause you know what, if I
really wanted to trap you,

I'd dig a really big
hole in the backyard

and cover it with moon pies.

See, you're getting angry.

I told you.
I don't blame you.

It's your DNA.

(Snoring)

Looks like one of those
giant manatees,

sunning itself on a big rock.

(Snores)

You know, that's
where the legends

of the mermaids come from.

Sailors would often
mistake them for women.

Well, to me that just
sounds like a lame excuse

for some bad behavior.

(Snorts)

Whoa, where am I?

It would appear the doghouse.

I don't know what you did
to pee on her parade,

but if you slept on the couch,

you're still in midstream.

Morning, mom. Vince.

- Morning.
- Good morning.

Morning.

I'm guessing time
has not healed these wounds.

Yeah, I picked up on that, too.

I-I'd wait till
she had her coffee.

Otherwise
she's a real ball-buster.

Molly:
I heard that!

It's true!

Got a crick in my neck

from camping out on
the sofa last night.

Oh, no. What a shame.

Poor thing.

You look very pretty
this morning. Well-rested.

Well, it's easy to sleep when
you've got nothing on your mind

but lipstick and man-trapping.

Okay, look,
I never said "trap."

But I am sorry for, you know.

Acting like an ass?

Well, I wouldn't
necessarily say "ass." Oh,

big baby,
thoughtless moron, uh...

Let's just go with "ass."

You know, I was trying
to be nice and accommodating

to you and your friend,
and what do I get in return?

Accusations that I'm trying
to trap you.

Joyce:
Let her drink her coffee.

Stay out of it, mom!

I understand you wanting
your own space, believe me.

Having the bed to myself last
night was like a mini-vacation.

I could stretch out.

I didn't have to worry about
your arm slamming down

on my head
like a giant meat log.

I'm sorry, Molly.

It's not that I don't want
to stay with you.

I just like having my apartment
as kind of a safety net.

So do I. I'm not ready
for us to live together.

Well, good.

Because even if I don't use it,
I like knowing it's there.

Yeah.

Kinda like the Milky Way

you keep hidden
behind your ice trays.

You know about that.

I've replaced it three times.

I've replaced it four times.

Hey, you don't keep one here,
do you?

No. Joyce: In the
vegetable crisper!

Mom!

I'm sorry, I asked for
scrambled... this is over easy.

Now scrambled.

That woman is the worst waitress
in the world.

Who cares? Look at her.

She could bring me a urinal cake
and I'd eat it.

Hey, Samuel.
What are you doing here?

Abe called me out of the blue

and offered me my job back
with the raise he promised.

I told you, man.
You stayed strong and you won.

I know, Carl. I'm so glad
I listened to you.

You are clearly
the brains of the team.

Well, next time you could
crash at his place.

I hope you like the top bunk,

and waking up
to a faceful of model airplane.

Don't worry. I'll be
out of your home as soon as

I can put together enough for
first and last months' rent,

security deposit, and the
premium cable package.

I'm afraid you've spoiled me.

Oh, Samuel. Samuel.

Welcome back.

You and me are good, right?

Yeah, we're good.

All right. Your first job:
Go fire my wife.

Okay. So, 50 cent an hour raise
makes $20 a week.

This should cover till
the end of the month.

Nice when payoff go
the other way, huh, Serpico?

What's going on?

You covering Samuel's raise?

I'd have paid twice as much
to get him out of my apartment.

Although I got to admit,

he did a nice job
redecorating the place.

I know. I saw it the other night
when I went to his party.

Party?

Sync and corrected by dr.jackson
for www.addic7ed.com