Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:03,680
Did you sleep OK?
2
00:00:03,820 --> 00:00:05,730
Uhh, yeah, pretty good.
3
00:00:05,910 --> 00:00:08,650
Are you sure?
'Cause I've been told I snore.
4
00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:10,320
Who told you that?
5
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,220
My neighbors.
6
00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:12,990
Excuse me.
7
00:00:13,820 --> 00:00:15,310
Well, there were
a couple of times
8
00:00:15,330 --> 00:00:16,880
I thought I was sleeping
next to a wood chipper
9
00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:19,420
full of croquet balls.
10
00:00:19,860 --> 00:00:21,680
Yeah, I'd use
my sleep apnea machine,
11
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:24,350
but it's got a breathing mask
that I have to put over my face.
12
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:25,660
It's not very sexy.
13
00:00:25,660 --> 00:00:27,500
Wait, you have sleep apnea?
Yeah.
14
00:00:27,510 --> 00:00:29,740
The machine really helps
cut down on the snoring.
15
00:00:29,820 --> 00:00:32,640
For the love of god,
use the machine.
16
00:00:33,010 --> 00:00:35,660
Okay, I'll strap it on tonight.
Good.
17
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,840
Do you, uh, have
any mouthwash?
18
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:39,580
Mm, yeah.
Oh.
19
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,480
There you go.
20
00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:43,520
Oh...
21
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:45,180
That's mouthwash.
22
00:00:45,220 --> 00:00:47,400
I thought it was
wiper fluid.
23
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:49,300
You got a cup, or...
24
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:52,190
you just want to stick
a funnel in my mouth?
25
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,800
Actually, the cap
doubles as a cup.
26
00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:57,230
Allow me to pour you a skosh.
Oh.
27
00:00:57,420 --> 00:00:59,370
By the way, you're, uh,
container of all-in-one
28
00:00:59,390 --> 00:01:02,070
shampoo, conditioner
and body wash is empty.
29
00:01:02,070 --> 00:01:05,540
Yeah, I had to use it last night
to pre-soak the dishes.
30
00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:08,570
I'll pick up another jug
on the way home.
31
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,740
You know, um ... oh ...
32
00:01:10,740 --> 00:01:13,950
Some people buy their
shampoo and conditioner
33
00:01:13,970 --> 00:01:15,370
in separate containers.
34
00:01:15,420 --> 00:01:16,700
I know. Suckers.
35
00:01:16,740 --> 00:01:19,150
Yeah.
36
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,960
Ooh. Uh, hey,
37
00:01:24,020 --> 00:01:25,570
Where do you keep
your hair dryer?
38
00:01:25,660 --> 00:01:27,360
Uh, I don't have one.
39
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:29,280
Usually, I just shake
dry like a labrador.
40
00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:30,960
Just...
41
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:33,770
Ah ..., but I'll tell
you what,
42
00:01:33,770 --> 00:01:36,100
I'll pick you up one
from sam's club today.
43
00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:36,960
Thanks.
44
00:01:37,006 --> 00:01:38,793
Yeah. I saw a demonstration
on one there.
45
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,220
It was huge, like a
sawed-off leaf blower.
46
00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:43,793
Damn near blew a toddler
out of the shopping cart.
47
00:01:44,926 --> 00:01:45,910
That's Carl.
48
00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:49,293
Don't forget to leave the
seat up when you're done.
49
00:01:50,393 --> 00:01:53,320
Oh... dear God,
he's clueless.
50
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:59,810
♪ for the first time
in my life ♪
51
00:01:59,810 --> 00:02:03,060
♪ I see love. ♪
52
00:02:03,260 --> 00:02:08,260
Mike & Molly - Season 01 - Episode 08 - Mike Snores
53
00:02:08,260 --> 00:02:13,260
Synced & corrected by
GhostedNet
54
00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,973
So, has Molly asked you to empty out
one of your dresser drawers
55
00:02:16,990 --> 00:02:19,406
so she could fill it with her feminine doodads?
Nah, she just brings
56
00:02:19,413 --> 00:02:21,540
a little overnight bag
with her stuff in it.
57
00:02:21,566 --> 00:02:23,180
She packs it in
and packs it out,
58
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:26,766
like a cat burglar
that has sex with me.
59
00:02:27,330 --> 00:02:29,400
You haven't found hair curlers
on your toilet tank,
60
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,300
- or a couple of emergency
tampons in your medicine chest?
- Nope. She leaves
61
00:02:32,300 --> 00:02:34,600
the scene of the crime
exactly the way she found it.
62
00:02:34,673 --> 00:02:38,540
And the only fingerprints
are on me.
63
00:02:38,710 --> 00:02:41,840
Nice. But be careful ...
I mean, women are nesters.
64
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,280
Sometimes they bring
something of theirs over
65
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:44,680
and claim it's a gift for you.
66
00:02:45,006 --> 00:02:46,440
I remember once
this woman I was seeing
67
00:02:46,460 --> 00:02:47,950
brought over
a personal vibrator.
68
00:02:48,146 --> 00:02:52,190
Like an idiot, I used it
and started mixing margaritas.
69
00:02:53,573 --> 00:02:54,890
You know, come
to think of it,
70
00:02:54,890 --> 00:02:57,790
Molly recently gave me
an agave scrub sponge.
71
00:02:58,026 --> 00:03:01,093
I'm sorry, a what?
An agave scrub sponge.
72
00:03:01,213 --> 00:03:04,026
What it does is it scrapes
all the dead skin off your body,
73
00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:06,280
leaving your silky smooth ...
feel this.
74
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:08,393
No.
75
00:03:09,306 --> 00:03:11,440
Seriously, it's
like velvet.
76
00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:15,580
Oh, man, that's
really soft.
77
00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:18,150
Samuel,
touch that.
78
00:03:18,473 --> 00:03:20,033
No, I will not
touch your arm,
79
00:03:20,053 --> 00:03:23,080
and I will not pull
your finger. Again.
80
00:03:23,890 --> 00:03:26,520
Taunt the immigrant ...
very funny.
81
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,193
Now, see,
I'm guessing
82
00:03:29,213 --> 00:03:30,260
that's something
she brought over
83
00:03:30,260 --> 00:03:32,230
for herself,
but she's saying it's for you.
84
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:34,020
You think?
Absolutely.
85
00:03:34,053 --> 00:03:35,406
She's starting
to move in.
86
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:37,566
But stay vigilant,
protect your man-cave.
87
00:03:37,700 --> 00:03:41,000
Now, tell me one more time ...
what's the name of that sponge?
88
00:03:46,253 --> 00:03:46,760
Hey.
89
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:48,710
Hey, Mol.
Hey, Mol.
90
00:03:48,710 --> 00:03:50,160
Got enough pizza there?
91
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,766
We figured out if your sister
answers the door topless,
92
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,080
we get it for free.
93
00:03:55,873 --> 00:03:57,920
Happy accident.
94
00:03:58,053 --> 00:03:59,246
When the doorbell rang,
95
00:03:59,286 --> 00:04:02,390
I thought it was
the fedex guy.
96
00:04:04,246 --> 00:04:05,666
You want a slice?
No.
97
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:06,720
I got to get changed,
98
00:04:06,753 --> 00:04:08,320
and then I'm
having dinner at Mike's.
99
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,853
Oh, isn't that nice!
100
00:04:09,930 --> 00:04:11,650
Yeah, he wants
to cook for me.
101
00:04:11,733 --> 00:04:13,593
Probably bought a shipping crate
full of spaghetti
102
00:04:13,613 --> 00:04:15,570
and an oil drum
of marinara.
103
00:04:16,346 --> 00:04:18,470
How come you guys
never stay here?
104
00:04:18,470 --> 00:04:19,520
You mean other
than the fact
105
00:04:19,546 --> 00:04:21,780
that you walk around naked
for free food?
106
00:04:23,653 --> 00:04:24,560
He's a little shy,
107
00:04:24,573 --> 00:04:26,480
and his place is
more private.
108
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,180
He's a screamer, huh?
109
00:04:29,893 --> 00:04:31,990
I hate when guys
scream in your ears.
110
00:04:32,380 --> 00:04:35,860
Trick is, never
let 'em near your ears.
111
00:04:36,166 --> 00:04:38,830
Oh...
Mm-hmm.
112
00:04:43,126 --> 00:04:44,630
Hi. I brought a pizza.
113
00:04:45,233 --> 00:04:46,800
Victoria, it's for you.
114
00:04:48,333 --> 00:04:51,366
I'll get this one, honey ...
you did the last three.
115
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:54,320
Hey. You got garlic
knots in there,
116
00:04:54,346 --> 00:04:57,340
I'll go grab
my jump rope.
117
00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:03,186
Is it my imagination, or are we really
starting to get the hang of this?
118
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,300
Yeah, it was
pretty terrific.
119
00:05:06,413 --> 00:05:07,506
For a while there,
it was like
120
00:05:07,533 --> 00:05:10,120
we were in the zone,
working together as one,
121
00:05:10,260 --> 00:05:12,546
and anticipating
each other's moves ...
122
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:15,360
like the '05 white sox.
123
00:05:15,613 --> 00:05:18,830
Is that why you kept humming
"take me out to the ball game""
124
00:05:18,830 --> 00:05:20,953
I had to, otherwise,
I would've laid down a bunt
125
00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:23,890
before I left the dugout.
126
00:05:25,046 --> 00:05:27,300
Do you mind if I finish up a
little bit of work for tomorrow?
127
00:05:27,540 --> 00:05:28,806
No. By all means,
go ahead.
128
00:05:28,820 --> 00:05:30,540
It's important that
you feel at home here.
129
00:05:30,693 --> 00:05:32,540
Are you sure?
Yeah. We just shared
130
00:05:32,546 --> 00:05:35,060
the most intimate thing
two human beings can share.
131
00:05:35,086 --> 00:05:38,050
At this point, cracking open
your laptop is almost redundant.
132
00:05:38,313 --> 00:05:39,920
Well, thank you.
133
00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:42,570
Good night.
Good night.
134
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:46,120
Sleep tight,
don't let the bedbugs bite.
135
00:05:46,573 --> 00:05:48,873
Which isn't as funny
as it used to be,
136
00:05:48,906 --> 00:05:51,900
'cause I had this kid
in my class that was...
137
00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:53,400
whoa.
138
00:06:00,466 --> 00:06:03,110
If this is a turn-off,
I can do without it.
139
00:06:03,220 --> 00:06:06,473
No, no. I-I was
a little startled,
140
00:06:06,493 --> 00:06:07,853
but it's fine.
141
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:09,940
I know it looks
a little strange,
142
00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:11,840
but it does keep me
from snoring.
143
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,666
Which is what
makes it so hot.
144
00:06:13,690 --> 00:06:16,286
Please leave it on.
145
00:06:16,340 --> 00:06:19,230
Okey-doke. You know, you can get
different-colored head straps.
146
00:06:19,230 --> 00:06:20,590
I went with basic black.
147
00:06:20,766 --> 00:06:23,100
Nice.
Very slimming.
148
00:06:25,286 --> 00:06:26,370
Good night, Molly.
149
00:06:26,693 --> 00:06:28,200
Good night, Mike.
150
00:07:53,260 --> 00:07:54,886
Ah...
151
00:07:55,993 --> 00:07:57,740
Oh, perfect.
152
00:08:03,073 --> 00:08:05,700
The gun was
right there.
153
00:08:07,933 --> 00:08:10,300
And the seat goes
down for my lady.
154
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:12,670
No more splash
landings.
155
00:08:16,286 --> 00:08:17,246
Morning, my little
turtledove.
156
00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:19,400
You making papa bear
a cup of coffee?
157
00:08:19,546 --> 00:08:21,620
Absolutely, papa bear.
158
00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:25,750
Hey, did goldilocks
sleep out here last night?
159
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,650
Yeah, your bed's
a little lumpy.
160
00:08:27,660 --> 00:08:30,760
I guess it would be ...
it was my mom and dad's old bed.
161
00:08:32,733 --> 00:08:34,230
Hey, I got a
surprise for you.
162
00:08:34,230 --> 00:08:36,400
Check this out.
163
00:08:39,446 --> 00:08:41,093
It's got three heat settings.
164
00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:43,670
You could bake a pie
with this thing.
165
00:08:44,430 --> 00:08:45,593
Thank you.
That's very sweet.
166
00:08:45,673 --> 00:08:47,900
I'm gonna go take a shower.
Hey, just to show you
167
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:50,593
I've been paying attention ...
I took your hint
168
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,273
and I bought you
some shampoo and conditioner
169
00:08:52,306 --> 00:08:55,920
in two separate gallon jugs.
170
00:08:56,213 --> 00:08:57,770
Swell.
171
00:08:58,413 --> 00:08:59,526
Peach-apricot.
172
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:00,790
You're gonna smell
like a fruit salad
173
00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,020
all day long!
174
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,473
What's the problem with
the mattress you already have?
175
00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:13,140
Well, it's fine with me,
but I heard my lady
176
00:09:13,146 --> 00:09:15,720
mention the words
"small" and "lumpy."
huh.
177
00:09:15,913 --> 00:09:19,310
You sure she was talking
about your mattress?
178
00:09:19,673 --> 00:09:21,310
What are you
trying to say, Carl?
179
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:23,880
Really? I got to
spell it out for you?
180
00:09:24,466 --> 00:09:26,513
Hey, I'm bringing
my "a" game, pal.
181
00:09:26,540 --> 00:09:28,873
I'm playing it slow and steady,
varying my pitches
182
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,420
just enough
to keep her guessing.
183
00:09:30,420 --> 00:09:32,340
Good, 'cause you don't want her
to look over to the bullpen
184
00:09:32,346 --> 00:09:34,920
and signal to...
bring in the lefty.
185
00:09:35,773 --> 00:09:36,880
Good afternoon,
gentlemen.
186
00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:39,500
Is there a specific type
of mattress I can help you find?
187
00:09:39,686 --> 00:09:43,010
Talk to him ... I'm
strictly a waterbed man.
188
00:09:45,593 --> 00:09:48,280
Well, I'm looking for something
that can accommodate two,
189
00:09:48,286 --> 00:09:50,370
let's say,
larger people, comfortably.
190
00:09:50,370 --> 00:09:54,340
Side by side, but
sometimes stacked.
191
00:09:54,653 --> 00:09:56,670
Are you thinking
conventional mattress
192
00:09:56,670 --> 00:09:58,180
or perhaps memory foam?
193
00:09:58,273 --> 00:10:00,606
Oh, my grandma's got one
of those memory foam beds.
194
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,050
It's like sleeping
on a cloud.
195
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,690
You know, a cloud that remembers
the shape of your ass.
196
00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,890
Everything I sit on
remembers the shape of my ass.
197
00:10:10,730 --> 00:10:12,490
Well, one of our more
popular king-size
198
00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:15,153
is the pillow top, which
combines a posturepedic mattress
199
00:10:15,180 --> 00:10:18,033
with a cozy three-inch
layer of goose down.
200
00:10:18,106 --> 00:10:19,793
Oh, that's nice.
201
00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:22,280
Yeah, it's even softer
than your silky forearm.
202
00:10:23,586 --> 00:10:26,210
I'm going
for a test drive.
203
00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:28,710
Oh...
204
00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:31,100
How is it?
Very cushy.
205
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:34,380
It's what I always imagined
sleeping on you would be like.
206
00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:37,390
Scooch over ...
that's my side.
207
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,520
Oh, you put a mirror on that
ceiling, I could live here.
208
00:10:42,686 --> 00:10:44,980
Show me a casket with
one of these in it,
209
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:47,030
you can kill me right now.
210
00:10:47,273 --> 00:10:50,330
Boy, there'll be no getting you up
in the morning.
211
00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:53,540
You guys known each
other a long time?
212
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,910
We've been partners
for five years.
213
00:11:00,273 --> 00:11:01,540
Turn on your side.
214
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:02,686
Butt-to-butt
or spooning?
215
00:11:02,713 --> 00:11:03,910
Spooning.
216
00:11:07,820 --> 00:11:09,020
Does that feel okay?
217
00:11:09,046 --> 00:11:10,213
Are you comfortable?
218
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:13,046
Yeah, the mattress
is offering support
219
00:11:13,046 --> 00:11:14,920
while hugging the
contours of my body.
220
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:16,033
Switch?
221
00:11:16,053 --> 00:11:18,690
Absolutely.
222
00:11:18,953 --> 00:11:19,786
Oh.
223
00:11:19,833 --> 00:11:21,666
Oh, God, I'm
in heaven.
224
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:24,930
Yup, you're gonna have one happy
girl on your hands tonight.
225
00:11:25,773 --> 00:11:26,470
Well, if you buy
this mattress,
226
00:11:26,470 --> 00:11:29,000
I think both you girls
are gonna be happy.
227
00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:33,480
I'll let you two discuss it.
228
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:40,180
Why is it, at least three times
a week, people think we're gay?
229
00:11:41,906 --> 00:11:43,046
Well, this one I get.
230
00:11:43,060 --> 00:11:44,406
We're snuggling
on a mattress.
231
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:45,700
But when I wipe
mustard off your lip,
232
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:48,590
that's just me
being helpful.
233
00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:54,850
Hey, sweetie,
where you been?
234
00:11:54,850 --> 00:11:56,140
I was starting to get
worried about you.
235
00:11:56,213 --> 00:11:57,980
Sorry, I had to
go home and repack,
236
00:11:58,020 --> 00:12:00,040
and I fell asleep
on the toilet.
237
00:12:00,940 --> 00:12:01,920
You're not
sleeping well?
238
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,353
Because I know how
to fix that.
239
00:12:03,410 --> 00:12:05,233
So do I,
and it's in your holster.
240
00:12:05,273 --> 00:12:07,180
What's that?
241
00:12:07,446 --> 00:12:08,100
Nothing.
242
00:12:08,180 --> 00:12:10,910
Hey, no more restless
nights for my baby.
243
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,110
Come, let me show
you what I got.
244
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:14,993
Please tell me
it's a jug of vodka
245
00:12:15,020 --> 00:12:17,900
and a martini glass
the size of your head.
246
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:21,620
♪ Ta-da! ♪
247
00:12:21,993 --> 00:12:23,630
You got a new bed?
248
00:12:23,630 --> 00:12:25,560
Yeah, and check out
all the pillows.
249
00:12:25,646 --> 00:12:27,466
I was just gonna get two,
but Carl said
250
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:29,846
quantity gives it
an 'arabian nights' type of vibe.
251
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:34,600
Wait a second.
252
00:12:34,613 --> 00:12:36,866
You bought a bed
for us with Carl?
253
00:12:36,933 --> 00:12:39,220
No, I bought a bed
for you with Carl.
254
00:12:39,566 --> 00:12:40,440
Sweetie, sit down.
255
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,730
We need to talk.
256
00:12:41,730 --> 00:12:43,373
Did I do something wrong?
257
00:12:43,393 --> 00:12:44,553
No, no, no.
258
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:47,380
Buying a new bed for me
was very considerate.
259
00:12:47,693 --> 00:12:50,420
Utterly clueless,
but very considerate.
260
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:51,666
I'm not following.
261
00:12:51,693 --> 00:12:53,760
Are you happy,
or are you sad?
262
00:12:54,546 --> 00:12:58,330
Ever since we started sleeping
together, it's been right here.
263
00:12:59,206 --> 00:13:01,460
There was that time
we did it on the couch.
264
00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:03,270
Please, no cute talk right now.
265
00:13:03,453 --> 00:13:06,320
I'll try, but I'm
feeling pretty cute.
266
00:13:06,706 --> 00:13:09,150
Mike,
seriously.
267
00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:12,010
You like me, right?
268
00:13:12,573 --> 00:13:13,473
Are you kidding?
269
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:14,960
I more than like you. I...
270
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,480
...like you a lot.
271
00:13:18,786 --> 00:13:21,050
I'm glad, because
I am dead-ass tired
272
00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:23,846
running back and forth
between my house
273
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:24,950
And your place
every night.
274
00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:28,390
You need to start making my life
a little easier for me.
275
00:13:28,613 --> 00:13:29,990
How?
I'll do anything.
276
00:13:30,306 --> 00:13:31,830
Start spending some nights
at my place.
277
00:13:31,830 --> 00:13:34,060
Almost anything.
278
00:13:34,333 --> 00:13:35,700
Mike.
Aw, come on.
279
00:13:35,706 --> 00:13:37,260
I don't think I can
throw my "a" game
280
00:13:37,286 --> 00:13:38,953
with your mother
and sister around.
281
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:43,000
Hey, I've been doing it on
your mom and dad's old mattress.
282
00:13:45,066 --> 00:13:47,110
Okay.
283
00:13:47,813 --> 00:13:49,640
I'll go pack a
little overnight bag.
284
00:13:50,973 --> 00:13:51,880
Thanks.
285
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:54,850
Hey, should I bring
my agave scrub sponge,
286
00:13:54,850 --> 00:13:56,446
or do you have one
at your place?
287
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,090
Bring it.
That was mine.
288
00:13:58,846 --> 00:14:00,440
Damn it,
Carl was right.
289
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,630
We are still gonna sleep
at my place sometimes...?
290
00:14:05,630 --> 00:14:06,913
Of course.
Good.
291
00:14:06,926 --> 00:14:08,760
'Cause I paid 700 bucks
for that bed,
292
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,100
and I want to lay on it
with someone besides Carl.
293
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:16,720
Oh, guess who decided to
finally sleep in her own bed?
294
00:14:16,893 --> 00:14:18,120
And by sleep, I mean...
295
00:14:18,140 --> 00:14:19,970
Mom.
296
00:14:20,206 --> 00:14:22,640
Good to see you,
Mrs. Flynn. Victoria.
297
00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:24,250
Hey.
Good to see you.
298
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,080
What do you got
in your bag,
299
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,150
golf clubs or an extra
pair of underwear?
300
00:14:29,206 --> 00:14:29,950
Let's just go upstairs.
301
00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:31,520
Sooner the better.
302
00:14:31,893 --> 00:14:34,086
Hey, when I go to bed,
I'll put my headphones on
303
00:14:34,133 --> 00:14:36,093
So you can get as nasty
as you want.
304
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:38,560
Keep moving.
305
00:14:41,020 --> 00:14:42,530
Where's the toothpaste?
306
00:14:42,900 --> 00:14:45,020
The tooth... Oh.
307
00:14:46,770 --> 00:14:48,670
Oh.
308
00:15:18,313 --> 00:15:20,170
I want to go home.
309
00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:56,600
Shake the snake a little
too hard there, fella?
310
00:15:59,166 --> 00:15:59,810
Oh!
311
00:16:01,266 --> 00:16:02,280
Hello, Mrs. Flynn.
312
00:16:02,306 --> 00:16:04,780
No, I thought I noticed
a calcium buildup
313
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:07,006
on your tile grout,
but upon closer surveillance,
314
00:16:07,013 --> 00:16:09,033
you're clean as a whistle,
good to go.
315
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,920
Thanks.
316
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,490
What time's the luau
there, big kahuna?
317
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,966
Ah, yeah.
Apparently, in my haste
318
00:16:18,013 --> 00:16:20,740
to pack, I neglected
to bring pajama bottoms.
319
00:16:20,773 --> 00:16:23,013
Hmm, top, no bottoms.
320
00:16:23,033 --> 00:16:25,600
Around these parts, we
call that porky piggin' it.
321
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,800
Okay, well, uh,
don't worry.
322
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,080
Tomorrow, I will be wearing
pants at breakfast.
323
00:16:32,140 --> 00:16:33,410
Well, that makes
one of us.
324
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,246
- Good night.
- Good night.
325
00:16:37,906 --> 00:16:40,110
Goofy bastard.
326
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:44,420
How did my bottle of vicodin
end up in the crapper?
327
00:16:45,593 --> 00:16:48,460
Oh, God, I could be
in my new bed right now.
328
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,600
I heard you're
a screamer,
329
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:55,086
so I'm wearing
my noise-reduction headphones.
330
00:16:55,346 --> 00:16:56,760
Appreciate it.
Good night.
331
00:16:56,770 --> 00:16:59,100
What did you say?
332
00:16:59,613 --> 00:17:02,140
What did I say?
333
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,310
Can anybody hear me?
334
00:17:05,973 --> 00:17:07,780
What is my sister yelling about?
335
00:17:07,873 --> 00:17:09,640
I have no idea.
336
00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:13,050
Look, I really appreciate
you staying here tonight.
337
00:17:13,786 --> 00:17:15,820
Well, you've been lugging
your stuff back and forth
338
00:17:15,820 --> 00:17:20,820
to my place all week, so,
it's the least I could do.
339
00:17:21,113 --> 00:17:22,990
Well, thank you.
340
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,666
You know,
we should probably wait
341
00:17:26,706 --> 00:17:28,526
till your mom
and sister fall asleep.
342
00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:32,430
Or ... we could just try
to do it really quietly.
343
00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:33,770
Might make it sexier.
344
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:36,206
You think so?
Sure.
345
00:17:36,460 --> 00:17:37,326
Hey, we can pretend
346
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,040
we're two high school kids
trying not to get caught.
347
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,373
Uh ..., I'm not sure
I know how to do that.
348
00:17:42,373 --> 00:17:44,140
I've only played the one
high school kid
349
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,960
trying not to get caught.
350
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:49,740
Oh, my God,
Michael Biggs,
351
00:17:49,746 --> 00:17:51,780
ever since I sat behind
you in homeroom class,
352
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,900
I've been, like, totally
fantasizing about this moment,
353
00:17:55,113 --> 00:17:57,173
and I always hoped
that you'd be my first.
354
00:18:01,966 --> 00:18:02,940
Your first?
355
00:18:02,973 --> 00:18:04,700
Well, I made out with
Mindy Peterson once
356
00:18:04,726 --> 00:18:07,513
after cheerleading practice,
but that was just an experiment.
357
00:18:07,526 --> 00:18:10,010
And I was, like, majorly
thinking about you.
358
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,140
Okay, that got
the home crowd standing.
359
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:21,926
Mike's got the power,
Mike's got the heat,
360
00:18:21,953 --> 00:18:24,950
Mike's got the spirit to
knock you off your feet!
361
00:18:24,950 --> 00:18:27,060
Go... Mikey!
362
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,433
Are they doing it yet?
363
00:18:29,573 --> 00:18:31,160
Good Lord, I hope so.
364
00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:34,160
What?
365
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:37,170
Boy, these things are good.
366
00:18:42,933 --> 00:18:44,230
Mike, come on.
367
00:18:44,613 --> 00:18:46,560
Mike.
368
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:50,260
Stilla good Mom
369
00:18:55,470 --> 00:18:56,790
Morning, Mrs. Flynn.
370
00:18:56,790 --> 00:18:58,010
Morning to you.
371
00:18:58,460 --> 00:18:59,320
How'd you sleep?
372
00:18:59,353 --> 00:19:00,253
Mom.
What?
373
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,210
I'm just asking the man
how he slept.
374
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:04,046
I slept fine,
very restful,
375
00:19:04,073 --> 00:19:05,033
thank you for asking.
376
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:06,453
Glad to hear it.
377
00:19:07,220 --> 00:19:08,400
Can I make you
some breakfast?
378
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,630
No, thanks.
I'm not hungry.
379
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,466
Really? I thought
you'd be starving to death
380
00:19:12,486 --> 00:19:14,060
after winning the big game.
381
00:19:16,786 --> 00:19:17,893
You're excused.
382
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,200
God bless you.
383
00:19:21,566 --> 00:19:24,230
Go... Mikey!
384
00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:29,513
You know,
I got to say,
385
00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:33,270
it's really kind of nice
to have a man in the house.
386
00:19:33,820 --> 00:19:39,613
Synced & corrected by
GhostedNet
27938
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
