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1
00:00:02,263 --> 00:00:04,047
Reheating instructions?
2
00:00:04,221 --> 00:00:06,354
"Please do not microwave
our food."
3
00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:09,444
I paid. I tipped.
I'll nuke it if I want to.
4
00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:11,489
You're not the boss of me,
Sage L.A. Café.
5
00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:14,275
Mm.
6
00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:17,104
Ah, that's such a fun way
to say "shut up."Mm.
7
00:00:17,278 --> 00:00:19,106
Jean, I want to make sure
I'm reading tonight correctly.
8
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,760
Are we --I washed my sheets
and shaved my legs.
9
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,371
Oh.
Above the knee.
10
00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:24,850
I'm doing something
to someone tonight.
11
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,375
[ Both chuckle ][ Sighs ]
12
00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:29,203
So...
So...
13
00:00:29,377 --> 00:00:30,682
Oh, my God,
I forgot to buy condoms.
14
00:00:30,856 --> 00:00:32,858
I'm such an idiot.
15
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,034
I know you're too old
to get pregnant.
16
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:36,079
Well,
you say words funny.
17
00:00:36,253 --> 00:00:37,950
No, I didn't mean it
as an insult.
18
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,127
It's just that you're not
only sleeping with me.
19
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:42,651
You'd be sleeping with all the
men my wife cheated on me with.Oh.
20
00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:44,348
And I'd be sleeping with all
the men that you've slept with.
21
00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:45,871
Oh, you don't have to worry
about them.
22
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,873
[ Chuckles ]
Either of them.
23
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,094
[ Sighs ] Danny,
you don't have to be nervous.
24
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,618
I think I do.
I-I met Cheryl when I was 19.
25
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:56,012
One or two girls before her,
and that's it.
26
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:57,883
I mean, two-and-a-half
if I'm being generous.
27
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:58,754
And lying.
It was just two.
28
00:00:58,928 --> 00:01:00,234
Mm.
29
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:01,844
It's just that
I've been picturing this
30
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:03,280
for such a long while,
you know?
31
00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:04,760
I just don't want to
disappoint you.
32
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,327
Not possible.
33
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:09,504
[ Sighs ]
Mm.
34
00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:12,202
So, what exactly
have you been picturing?
35
00:01:12,376 --> 00:01:14,857
Well, I can show you the doodles
in my patient notes,
36
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:16,772
but I'd have to black out
their names.
37
00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:18,904
I mean, would you describe
yourself as "flexible"?
38
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,906
Uh, look, Danny,
39
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,995
this is gonna be different
for both of us. Yeah.
40
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:25,302
We can't expect it
to be like when we were kids.Mm.
41
00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:27,739
I'm vetoing shower sex
right now.
42
00:01:27,913 --> 00:01:30,873
Also, no kitchen counters
or cars or upside-down stuff.
43
00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:32,875
I get lightheaded.
44
00:01:33,049 --> 00:01:35,269
Those are some of my best
doodles, but that's okay.
45
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:37,184
Um, I've just got
one thing.
46
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:38,924
You can't call me
by another name.
47
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,404
Cheryl used to
call me Pete,
48
00:01:40,578 --> 00:01:42,537
and I didn't hate it
until I met Pete.
49
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,843
Deal. Okay.
Let's do this. Oh.
50
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,323
I think that counted
as foreplay.You're the perfect woman.
51
00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:48,673
[ Chuckles ]
Mm.
52
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,414
Freddie.
53
00:01:50,588 --> 00:01:53,069
I just said don't call me
by another...name.
54
00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:54,549
What up?
55
00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:55,767
What are you
doing here?
56
00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:57,856
Weird energy.
57
00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:02,034
Celia's in Arizona
taking a picture
58
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,775
in front of some magic rock
or something, so I need food.
59
00:02:03,949 --> 00:02:05,995
I had to leave my place
because Lane has Victor over.
60
00:02:06,169 --> 00:02:08,519
My noise-canceling
headphones died
61
00:02:08,693 --> 00:02:10,782
and Lane's door broke --
as did his headboard.
62
00:02:10,956 --> 00:02:12,871
Go Victor.
63
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:14,525
You guys want to watch
the new season of "Murderous Lovers"?
64
00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:16,440
I'd love to --
tomorrow.
65
00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,094
No, no, I'll see spoilers
if we wait.
66
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:19,356
Can you give me
a scooch here, man?
67
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:21,141
There's a lot of couch.
68
00:02:21,315 --> 00:02:22,142
Wait, if we're watching this,
I call middle.
69
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:23,708
I get scared.
70
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:25,275
[ Grunts ]
I hear this is the episode
71
00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,147
where the gardener
kills his wife
72
00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:29,453
and then mulches his garden
with her bones.
73
00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:31,629
[ Gasps ]I frickin' love this show.
74
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:39,289
♪♪♪
75
00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:44,599
♪♪♪
76
00:02:52,128 --> 00:02:53,608
Morning.
Jean: Hey.
77
00:02:53,782 --> 00:02:55,740
[ Door closes ]Sorry about yesterday.
78
00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:57,046
Oh, it's okay.
79
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,656
Maybe we were ruining it
80
00:02:58,830 --> 00:02:59,179
with all our talking about it,
anyway.
81
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,832
Yeah, that's true.
82
00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:01,746
Those things are best
when they're spontaneous.
83
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,008
Hm.
84
00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:07,839
[ Moaning ][ Ripper barks ]
85
00:03:08,013 --> 00:03:09,754
Oh, Ripper, down.
86
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:11,452
Down, down.
87
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:12,496
He, uh --
He gets a little jealous.
88
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,803
Oh, that's so cute.
[ Chuckles ]
89
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:16,979
Uh...hey.
90
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:18,763
[ Ripper barks ]Oh.
91
00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:20,025
-[ Chuckles ]
-Yes.
92
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,766
[ Both moaning ][ Door opens ]
93
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,464
Jeannie, I need you.
94
00:03:23,638 --> 00:03:26,423
We have got to start
locking that door.
95
00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:28,077
I just got a call
from Ted Jr.
96
00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,600
I've got to go back
to Iowa.
97
00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:32,124
What? Why?
Is he okay?
98
00:03:32,299 --> 00:03:33,996
He's fine.
99
00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:35,519
That horrible wife of his
said he can't cat-sit
100
00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:37,304
for Tuna Fey anymore.
101
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,567
[ Sighs ]Says she's allergic
to cats.
102
00:03:39,741 --> 00:03:40,959
I hate her, Jean.
103
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:42,134
I hate her so much.
104
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:44,572
Oh, I hate her, too.
105
00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,748
I booked a flight first thing
in the morning.
106
00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:48,271
I got to go pack.
107
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,404
Oh, and you're out
of conditioner, Danny.
108
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:52,057
Nice try. There was half
a bottle there this morning.
109
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,451
This isn't like a hotel.I'll put it back.
110
00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:55,583
I'm not out of bourbon,
either.
111
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:57,541
I'll put it back.
112
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,893
Oh, God.
So unfair.
113
00:04:02,067 --> 00:04:03,808
We don't get to celebrate
Sharon's birthday,
114
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,681
and now the mood is ruined again
for our...celebration.
115
00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:07,638
Mm.
116
00:04:07,812 --> 00:04:09,901
Hey.
117
00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:11,512
Should we go to Iowa?
118
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:13,427
What would we do
in Iowa?
119
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:15,342
Each other.
120
00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:17,213
Then maybe a birthday party
for Sharon.
121
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:18,475
Then maybe
the tractor museum.
122
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:20,608
And then maybe
each other again.
123
00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,914
Jean, I can't just pack up
and fly to Iowa.
124
00:04:23,088 --> 00:04:25,352
I'm -- I-I'm running a
seminar on abandonment issues on Monday.
125
00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:27,049
I don't think they'll find
the irony funny.
126
00:04:27,223 --> 00:04:29,921
Well, we could just go
for the weekend.
127
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:32,533
I know it's impulsive, but think
about how great it would be.
128
00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:35,100
You said yourself our first time
should be special.Mm.
129
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,494
I've got an empty house
where nobody will bother us.
130
00:04:37,668 --> 00:04:39,148
Well, now
if I say yes,
131
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,280
it'll seem like
I'm just in it for the sex.
132
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:41,498
I'm okay with that.
133
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:44,849
♪♪♪
134
00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:46,155
Jackie, sit down.
135
00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:48,288
Good.
136
00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,115
Mom called.
137
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:53,118
She and Danny are going on
a romantic getaway to Iowa.
138
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,295
I know. Danny asked me
to check on the house.
139
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:56,383
And you're fine
with it?
140
00:04:56,557 --> 00:04:57,688
[ Scoffs ]
I'm just glad
141
00:04:57,862 --> 00:04:58,776
they're going anywhere
to do anything,
142
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:00,387
because that whole
143
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:01,518
will-they, won't-they
was exhausting.
144
00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,651
Well -- Well,
I think it's way too fast.
145
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,783
It's weird.
Don't you think it's weird?
146
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:07,394
It's weird.
147
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:09,570
I'm gonna call Mom
and tell her it's weird.
148
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,180
Something's
definitely weird.
149
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,703
I don't even hear it
anymore.
150
00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:16,141
♪♪♪
151
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:20,363
Oh, it smells like home.
152
00:05:20,537 --> 00:05:21,799
Oh, I didn't realize
how good it would feel
153
00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:24,193
to be in my own house
again.
154
00:05:24,367 --> 00:05:25,803
Good God, Jean,
were you burglarized?
155
00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:27,631
What? No.
156
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:29,546
L.A. was
an impulsive trip.
157
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,548
Half a glass of wine,
couple of bras,
158
00:05:31,722 --> 00:05:33,898
unfinished jigsaw puzzle.
159
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:35,204
This must be what it felt like
to discover Pompeii.
160
00:05:37,989 --> 00:05:41,123
"Sex For One: Discovering
the 'I' in Widow."
161
00:05:41,297 --> 00:05:42,951
Oh,
that was a gag gift.
162
00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:44,648
There's a bookmark
in it.[ Both moan ]
163
00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:48,783
That isa fun way
to say "shut up."
164
00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:51,307
You know, there's other fun
we could have.
165
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:52,526
The kind we haven't had
for months
166
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:53,483
that we finally
get to have.
167
00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:56,573
Mm.
[ Chuckles ]
168
00:05:56,747 --> 00:05:58,749
[ Sighs ] Oh, that
would have been so sexy
169
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:01,012
if one of those things
hadn't been yogurt.
170
00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:03,450
[ Chuckles ] Now, take me to bed
or lose me forever!
171
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:04,712
I love a sexy threat.
172
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:05,887
[ Giggles ]
173
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:08,106
[ Both moaning ]
174
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,373
What's wrong?
175
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,940
Is there a wet spot
from the yogurt?
176
00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:19,640
Is this Mike?
177
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:22,730
Oh, God, Danny.
I'm so sorry.
178
00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:25,210
Obviously,
I wasn't [sighs]
179
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,474
planning on bringing a man back
when I left.
180
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:29,867
Please, Jean.
I-I know you were married.
181
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,260
I just, uh -- It just caught me
off guard, that's all.
182
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:32,653
I'm good. I'm good.
183
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:34,394
You want me
to turn it around?
184
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:35,525
Please.Okay, yeah.
185
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:36,831
Yep.
[ Clears throat ]
186
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:38,136
Oh, you have a dog?
187
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:40,138
Had.
188
00:06:40,312 --> 00:06:42,097
Lucy.
Hmm.
189
00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:45,796
You okay now?One more question.
190
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,798
Is that anyone?
191
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,147
Oh, no.
That's just a vase.
192
00:06:49,321 --> 00:06:50,192
Then I'm good.
Okay.
193
00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:52,107
[ Both moan ]
194
00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,719
H-He already shot her.
195
00:06:55,893 --> 00:06:58,026
Why does he need to
run her over with his car?
196
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,377
Mm, he has to break her
bones so she's easier to stuff in a shed.
197
00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:03,379
It's always a shed.Always a shed.
198
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:10,255
What the hell
are we watching?
199
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,866
"Murderous Lovers."
200
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,302
[ Scoffs ]
But why are we watching it?
201
00:07:13,476 --> 00:07:14,825
This show is horrible.
202
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:17,001
This is not the way
the world should be.
203
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:18,655
Why would he kill
that poor girl?
204
00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:19,917
They were engaged.
205
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:22,398
I think
that's why he did it.
206
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:24,835
Running someone over
four times is easier than just breaking up.
207
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:27,011
Chips?How can you eat?
208
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:28,665
You people are broken.
209
00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:31,886
You guys, you really
don't think it's weird
210
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,627
that Mom skipped town
with Danny like that?
211
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:35,237
I mean, I haven't even been
to the Valley with Celia,
212
00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:36,151
and we're getting married.
213
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,502
Do you think
they're gonna get married?
214
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:42,244
Would -- Would Danny
a-adopt us?
215
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,028
What? I'd be --
216
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:46,466
I'd be Freddie,
uh...
217
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,119
What -- Wait,
what's Danny's last name?
218
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,295
[ Scoffs ] How can you
not know Danny's last name?
219
00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:54,386
It's...
220
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,737
Lane, you listen when Mom talks.
What's Danny's last name?
221
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:58,478
Okay, first of all,
I listen when everybody talks
222
00:07:58,652 --> 00:07:59,609
because
I'm a people-person.
223
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:01,132
That's what
people-people do.
224
00:08:01,306 --> 00:08:03,831
Second of all,
it's, um...
225
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,223
Jackman?
226
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,660
Kidman?
227
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:07,704
Hemsworth?
228
00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:10,707
So you don't know,
either?
229
00:08:10,881 --> 00:08:13,101
So none of us know anything
about this guy.
230
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:15,059
I think it's because
231
00:08:15,233 --> 00:08:16,800
he always turns
the conversation back on me.
232
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:17,932
I really like that
about him.
233
00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:19,673
But why does he do that?
234
00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:20,151
I always thought
that was the therapist in him.
235
00:08:20,325 --> 00:08:22,371
Yeah.
236
00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:23,503
Maybe it's the killer
in him.
237
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:25,069
So you think
Danny's a killer
238
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:26,462
because you're
too self-absorbed
239
00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:27,811
to ask about
his personal life?
240
00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:31,336
I'm just saying, a dude
whose name we don't know
241
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,077
got our mom to skip town
with him
242
00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:35,558
after dating her
for like an hour.
243
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,342
Okay, you're starting
to sound like the people on this show.
244
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,954
The show where people
get murdered
245
00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:41,521
because they skip town
with guys
246
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:43,871
they've only dated
for like an hour?
247
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:45,002
[ Music plays
on television ]
248
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:46,743
[ Gasps ][ Screams ]
249
00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,398
Yeah.
Phew.
250
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:54,882
Hey,
did you miss me?
251
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:57,798
Hey,
did you miss me?
252
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:02,150
Hey!
Oh.
253
00:09:02,324 --> 00:09:03,891
Sorry, my -- my ears haven't
popped since the plane.
254
00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:05,849
Oh, wow.
255
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:06,937
You look beautiful.
256
00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:09,157
[ Breathes deeply ]
257
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:10,419
Do you want another glass
of champagne?
258
00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:11,855
Do you want to go
upstairs
259
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:12,900
and see what's under
this nightgown?
260
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:14,292
More than anything
in the world.
261
00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:16,381
[ Giggles ]
262
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,731
Ooh.
263
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,386
[ Sighs ]
That was the perfect night.
264
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,258
Uh, can I get you
some breakfast?
265
00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:25,782
Ooh, no time. [ Chuckles ]
It's Sharon's birthday.
266
00:09:25,956 --> 00:09:27,349
I've got a thousand errands
to run.
267
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:29,090
Oh, you're dressed.
268
00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:30,613
Okay, um, I'll get dressed
and come with you.
269
00:09:30,787 --> 00:09:32,223
Hey, maybe we can swing by
the tractor museum.
270
00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:35,618
Danny, you can't just swing by
the tractor museum.
271
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,577
I mean, the evolution
from horse-drawn
272
00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:39,448
to horse-powered
doesn't happen overnight.
273
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:41,798
[ Chuckles ]
It's better if I go by myself.
274
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:44,671
Jean, is everything okay?
275
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,108
Yeah, yeah, fine.
Finish the puzzle.
276
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:49,763
Make yourself at home.
I'll see you later.
277
00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:52,113
♪♪♪
278
00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:59,033
I-I did all this.
What is her problem?
279
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:00,861
Hey-hey!
280
00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:04,516
The birthday girl is here,
and she is ready to part-ay!
281
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,693
[ Laughs ]
You guys had sex.
282
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:08,564
How did you...
283
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,305
I can always tell.
284
00:10:10,479 --> 00:10:11,393
It's my superpower.
285
00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:14,222
So how was it?
286
00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:17,442
Uh, Sharon, a gentleman never,
uh -- never tells.
287
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,053
Oh, come on.
You can tell me.
288
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:20,097
I'm your best friend.
289
00:10:20,271 --> 00:10:21,664
No, you're not.
290
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,666
It's my birthday.Okay, fine.
291
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:24,972
You're my best friend,
but that's your gift.
292
00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:28,497
So, it's just...
Jean and I finally --
293
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:30,020
You plowed her
like a corn field.
294
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:32,806
That's one way
I-I would never say it.
295
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:34,634
So we did that.
296
00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:36,636
And then, she couldn't get
out of here fast enough.
297
00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:39,726
Oh.
298
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,510
Well, maybe it was bad.
299
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:42,467
I don't think it was bad.
300
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,513
The guy never does.
301
00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:45,340
But she would say something
if she thought it was bad.
302
00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:46,733
The girl never does.
303
00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:49,736
Oh, God.
304
00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:51,868
You're right.
It was bad.
305
00:10:52,042 --> 00:10:53,914
Oh, it was such a build-up,
and now she's disappointed.
306
00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:55,611
I mean, that's why she took off
out of here so fast.
307
00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:56,656
She couldn't bear
to look at me.
308
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:58,658
Wh-- Why would I try
new moves?
309
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,442
I barely have old moves.
310
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,226
Just tell me
what you did,
311
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,141
and I'll tell you
if you did it right or wrong.
312
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:05,447
M-Maybe show me.
313
00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,318
Here.
314
00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:08,842
This pillow is her head.
315
00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:12,541
And if you don't know
what this pillow is,
316
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:13,498
then you definitely
did it wrong.
317
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,239
[ Door opens ]
318
00:11:15,413 --> 00:11:16,850
Sharon.
319
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,678
What are you doing here
early?
320
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:20,114
I don't have
anything ready.
321
00:11:20,288 --> 00:11:23,030
You're not born for another
2 hours and 27 minutes.
322
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,075
Okay, well,
I'll come back when I'm born
323
00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:25,946
and leave you two alone.
324
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:28,122
Give it another go.
325
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:29,689
And remember --
326
00:11:29,863 --> 00:11:31,429
the top pillow
is just as important
327
00:11:31,603 --> 00:11:32,561
as the bottom pillow.
328
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:35,129
You got it.
329
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:38,567
Sorry that took me
so long.
330
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:40,090
[ Door closes ]I hit the bakery
331
00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:41,657
and got cornered by
Andrea Decker.
332
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:43,050
Apparently,
they lost committee members
333
00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:45,356
for the
Annual Spring Fling.
334
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:48,098
She completely roped me into
hosting the planning meeting.
335
00:11:48,272 --> 00:11:49,360
What do you mean?
When's that happening?
336
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,972
Uh, Thursday.
It's just a coffee/donut social,
337
00:11:52,146 --> 00:11:53,800
but still,
it's like 40 people.
338
00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:55,236
But we're flying back
to L.A. tomorrow.
339
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:57,107
Oh, well, actually,
340
00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,370
I was thinking maybe
I would stay a little longer.
341
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,938
Oh, but, Jean, uh, remember,
I have that seminar Monday.
342
00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:03,679
Oh, I know,
but I don't have anything,
343
00:12:03,853 --> 00:12:06,769
and like I said, it's so nice
to be home, seeing old friends.
344
00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,902
So I thought maybe I would,
you know, stay a little longer.
345
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:12,166
Was the sex bad?
346
00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:14,385
What?
347
00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,301
Because I told you I haven't
done the sex since Cheryl.
348
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:19,390
Did I not do
the sex well?
349
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,479
Okay, first of all,
the sex wasn't bad.
350
00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:24,004
And second of all,
please don't call it "the sex,"
351
00:12:24,178 --> 00:12:26,789
or I don't know if I can have
"the sex" with you again.
352
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:28,835
Well, if it wasn't bad,
I'm confused.
353
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:31,185
You ran out of here,
you left me alone all day,
354
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:32,752
and now you're making plans
to stay longer?
355
00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:34,057
Well, so what?
356
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,755
Like I said,
it's nice to be home.
357
00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:36,625
I thought L.A.
was your home.
358
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:38,453
Well,
I can have two homes.
359
00:12:38,627 --> 00:12:40,281
Rich people do it
all the time.
360
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:42,587
Ellen DeGeneres has a house
just for her dogs.
361
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,372
What, do you mean
like a doghouse,
362
00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:45,895
or like a big, people house
that dogs live in --
363
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:48,463
No, I'm not getting
sucked in.
364
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:50,508
I thought sleeping together
meant that we were ready
365
00:12:50,682 --> 00:12:52,075
to commit to something
with each other.
366
00:12:52,249 --> 00:12:54,034
And I didn't think
that sleeping together
367
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,819
meant I had to give up
everything.
368
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,995
My whole life was just decided
in seven minutes?
369
00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:00,127
Oh, well, thank you
for including the time
370
00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:01,868
it took me
to take off your bra.
371
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:05,045
I-I don't see what's wrong
with wanting my life here.
372
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,177
This place
is a part of me.The oldpart.
373
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:09,136
I'm not just gonna
give up my old life
374
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,007
to start something new
with you.
375
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:13,096
Okay, and what am I
supposed to do
376
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:14,924
while you're in Iowa
planning the Spring Fling?
377
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:16,578
I don't know, Danny.
378
00:13:16,752 --> 00:13:18,188
I guess you should just do
whatever you want.
379
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:19,799
Stay, go --
it's your call.
380
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,019
I guess I'll go.
381
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,980
Tell Sharon
happy birthday.
382
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,161
[ Door handle rattles ]
383
00:13:34,335 --> 00:13:35,292
You have to lift up
and pull.
384
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:36,816
You know what?
385
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:37,991
I didn't need your help
with the bra,
386
00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:39,166
and I don't need it
with the door.
387
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:44,824
[ Door closes ]
388
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,610
[ Sighs ]
389
00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:51,787
[ Sighs ] I can't believe
you broke that.
390
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,397
I was just trying to see
if it was a real diploma
391
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:54,921
or something he ordered
off the Internet.
392
00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:56,444
At least we know
his last name now.
393
00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:57,619
And for the record,
I was right.
394
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,012
Hemsworth.
395
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,883
Must be like Smith
over there.
396
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:02,145
You guys, we have to get rid
of the broken glass
397
00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:03,451
and put it back up
on the wall.
398
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:05,932
Jackie, relax.
399
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:07,629
I'm just gonna put it in
the bottom of a garbage can.
400
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:09,370
He'll never know
it was us.
401
00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:11,720
[ Gasps ][ Gasps ]
402
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,722
It's always a shed.
403
00:14:13,896 --> 00:14:15,332
[ Eerie music plays ]
404
00:14:17,117 --> 00:14:18,683
So, the birthday bonanza
starts
405
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,990
at Otis and Henry's
for some apps.
406
00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:22,905
Then Hickory House
for dinner. Mm-hmm.
407
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:24,820
And then,
when we're good and drunk,
408
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:26,604
we're gonna sneak into
Andrea Decker's garden
409
00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:27,692
and steal
heirloom tomatoes.
410
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,304
[ Laughs ]
411
00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:32,262
Jean, are you sure
you're up for this?
412
00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:33,960
Danny just left.
413
00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,265
You must be --
414
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:37,659
What? [ Chuckles ]
I'm what?
415
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:39,530
Happy to be spending
your birthday with you?
416
00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:41,271
Glad to be back
in Waterloo?
417
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:44,535
[ Sighs ]Okay, you're right.
418
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:47,321
And I only have so
much time with you before you go back.
419
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:49,149
Well, actually,
I-I was thinking
420
00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:51,325
maybe I'd stay around
for a bit.
421
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:53,022
Really? How long?
422
00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:55,285
I don't know,
maybe open-ended.
423
00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:58,332
You saw what it was like in
L.A. -- all fancy and weird.
424
00:14:58,506 --> 00:15:01,465
With their valet parking
and vegan dog food.
425
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:03,337
[ Chuckles ]
426
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:04,642
Yeah, but the kids
are back there.
427
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,384
Yeah, I know.
428
00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:09,517
But is it really healthy
for me to live so close?
429
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:11,127
I'm worried
about stifling them.
430
00:15:11,301 --> 00:15:12,476
They're grown.
431
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,304
Kids need room
to blossom.
432
00:15:14,478 --> 00:15:17,742
"Stifling."
"Blossom."
433
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,570
Jean, you'd wear those kids
as a backpack if you could.
434
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,137
Meh. [ Chuckles ]
435
00:15:21,311 --> 00:15:23,139
Jackie's on the mend,
436
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:26,099
and Freddie's found a wonderful
girl to spend his life with.
437
00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:28,275
I think it's time I step aside
and let Celia be
438
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:29,841
the most important woman
in Freddie's life.
439
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:33,236
Okay, enough.
440
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,456
[ Sighs ]
Jean, what are you doing?
441
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,545
You've been waiting for months
to get together with Danny.
442
00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:39,851
And I did.
Now, let's call a stripper.
443
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:41,288
[ Chuckles ]
444
00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,594
Okay, stop.
445
00:15:43,768 --> 00:15:46,858
Whatever went wrong,
I'm sure you can get past it.
446
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:48,948
I don't know if I can.
447
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:52,908
Honey, you got everything
you want in L.A.
448
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:54,127
Why are you running away?
449
00:15:54,301 --> 00:15:56,738
I'm not running away.
450
00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:59,697
I just decided
to stay with you.
451
00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:00,307
[ Voice breaking ]
I want you.
452
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,441
Why are you ruining
your birthday for me?
453
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:05,834
Aww.
454
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,879
[ Crying ]
455
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:10,926
[ Eerie music playing ]
456
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,884
[ Gasps ]
457
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,061
Oh, thank God!
458
00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,237
Danny's a drag queen.
459
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:20,109
Oh, Lane.
To be that naive.
460
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:22,024
If only Danny
was a drag queen.
461
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:24,113
These obviously belong
to the women that he killed.
462
00:16:24,287 --> 00:16:27,029
[ Sighs ]I like this for you,
Jackie.
463
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:28,596
You're contaminating
the scene.
464
00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:30,598
Yeah, Lane. We have to
bag-and-tag for the cops.
465
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:32,469
But since
you already touched it,
466
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:34,210
you may as well touch
those matching shoes.
467
00:16:34,384 --> 00:16:36,473
[ Chuckles ]Stop victim-shopping.
468
00:16:36,647 --> 00:16:38,562
[ Gasps ]
469
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:39,999
What the hell's
going on?
470
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:42,218
Yeah, that's right, bud.
We found it.
471
00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:43,915
We found all of it.
472
00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:47,267
Where's my mom, Danny?
473
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,095
Ourmom.Where's their mom,
Danny?
474
00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:51,488
She's back in Iowa.
475
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:52,881
What are you doing
with Cheryl's clothes?
476
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:56,928
Cheryl's clothes?
As in, Cheryl, your ex-wife?
477
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,365
Ohhhhhh.Ohhhhhh.
478
00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:00,715
Yeah.
That makes sense.
479
00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:02,238
Yeah,
after the divorce,
480
00:17:02,412 --> 00:17:04,066
I wanted her clothes
out of the house.
481
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:05,807
But, uh, she didn't
have room for everything in her new place,
482
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,374
so I let her store them
here in the shed
483
00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:08,375
while she got
her closets redone.
484
00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:12,031
See? I told you
he was normal, you idiot.
485
00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:13,684
You're the one
who said we had to
486
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,295
"bag-and-tag" these
for the cops.The cops?
487
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:16,818
-They thought you murdered Jean.
-Lane.
488
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:18,646
-Okay.
-And multiple other women.
489
00:17:18,820 --> 00:17:20,039
There's this whole theory
about how you lure them
490
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:21,170
into your guest house
with your low rates.
491
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:22,563
I thought
you were a drag queen.
492
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:23,607
He doesn't need to know
all this.
493
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:25,044
We're sorry.
494
00:17:25,218 --> 00:17:26,393
We were watching
our murder show,
495
00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:28,612
and we started talking about
you and Mom.
496
00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:30,527
We realized we didn't know
anything about you,
497
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:32,921
so we started digging,
and it got out of hand.
498
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:35,402
If you want to know
something about me, just ask.
499
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,230
I'll tell you anything.
500
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:39,319
I was born in Canberra,
I came to America for school,
501
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:41,669
and I manage a "Lord of
the Rings" fan-fiction website.
502
00:17:41,843 --> 00:17:43,540
See?
503
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:44,976
He's not a killer.
504
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:47,892
He's just boring.
505
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:48,893
None of these are yours?
506
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,939
I'm sorry.
507
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,462
Hey, listen, uh,
I've been on a plane all day.
508
00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:53,855
I'm really tired.
509
00:17:54,029 --> 00:17:55,378
Um, let's just go inside,
have a beer.
510
00:17:55,552 --> 00:17:56,510
We can talk about
whatever you want.
511
00:17:56,684 --> 00:17:58,860
Actually,
I amcurious.
512
00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:00,731
I found a box in
your hall closet that had two locks on it.
513
00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:02,124
What's in there?
514
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:03,038
That's none
of your damn business.
515
00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:08,609
♪♪♪
516
00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:14,354
It wasthe sex.
517
00:18:16,225 --> 00:18:17,531
You flew back
to tell me
518
00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:19,359
the sex was so bad
you had to move?
519
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:20,534
That is a text, Jean.
520
00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:22,231
No.
521
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,233
The sex was incredible.
522
00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,148
Go on.
523
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:29,456
I-I just assumed
that our first time
524
00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:31,545
would be,
you know, so-so.
525
00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:34,200
Just like
every other first time.
526
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:37,159
We'd both be uncomfortable,
out of sync.
527
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:38,421
I'd accidentally
call you Pete.
528
00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:39,683
Because once you asked me
not to,
529
00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:40,380
it was all
I could think about.
530
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:44,514
But it wasn't like that.
531
00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:47,126
It was just
instantly right.
532
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,563
Like everything else
about us.
533
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,522
We traveled well together.
534
00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:54,350
You gave me your little
bready-stick things
535
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:56,309
from the snack mix
on the plane.
536
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:57,397
You love
those bready-stick things.I know.
537
00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:03,403
And a-as soon as we had sex
in Iowa
538
00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:05,187
and I was surrounded
by the memories
539
00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:08,451
of everything I lost before,
540
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:11,280
I realized
I could lose you, too.
541
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,239
And it was too much.
542
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:16,633
So, to be clear,
you sent me away
543
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:18,722
because what we have
is too great.
544
00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:20,289
[ Sighs ]
545
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,813
And, just for me,
the topper is,
546
00:19:22,987 --> 00:19:24,163
I was toogood in bed.
547
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:36,392
[ Breathes deeply ]
It's scary for me, too.
548
00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:50,928
Mom!
You're alive!
549
00:19:51,102 --> 00:19:52,626
What?[ Chuckles ]
550
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,585
Oh, well, it's a long story,
but we missed you.
551
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,761
Aww, you missed me?
552
00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:00,155
Aww, that's such a sweet thing
to come home to.
553
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,766
So, you arehome?
554
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,333
Yeah.
555
00:20:04,507 --> 00:20:06,335
I've got everything
I want here.
556
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:07,684
My kids are here.
My boyfriend's here.
557
00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:08,250
What else do I need?
558
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,646
Uh, I'll see you guys
tomorrow.
559
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:13,864
Oh, no -- But -- No!
What -- What about --
560
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:16,084
Real quick --
I -- Ah!
561
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:18,695
[ Door handle rattles ]Hey, since when
does this door lock?
562
00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:21,045
Jean: I love you guys,
but if I can hear you,
563
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:22,656
you'll be able to hear me!
564
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:24,266
[ Chuckles ]
And Danny!
565
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,702
Ugh, God. Ugh.Okay, we're going.
566
00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:34,233
[ Sighs ] Why did I talk you
into moving back to L.A.?
567
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:37,148
Because you're a good friend
who wants me to be happy.
568
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:39,063
You left a couple things.
569
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,674
Oh, I did it
so I'd have to come back.
570
00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:42,893
And I'm bringing Tuna Fey
next time.
571
00:20:43,067 --> 00:20:44,460
I promised I'd show her
the ocean before she dies.
572
00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:49,248
Just go and enjoy L.A.
573
00:20:49,422 --> 00:20:50,597
I love you, Jeannie.
574
00:20:50,771 --> 00:20:52,251
I love you, too.
575
00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:56,864
[ Smooches ][ Tablet bloops ]
576
00:20:57,038 --> 00:20:59,127
[ Sighs ]
577
00:20:59,301 --> 00:21:05,525
♪♪♪
578
00:21:05,699 --> 00:21:11,879
♪♪♪
579
00:21:12,053 --> 00:21:14,011
Mm.
580
00:21:14,185 --> 00:21:21,845
♪♪♪
581
00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:29,940
♪♪♪
582
00:21:29,990 --> 00:21:34,540
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