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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:43,923 It's 2:18 in the morning in the middle of February. 2 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,809 I've been sitting on a park bench for almost four hours. 3 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,483 I'm fucking freezing. 4 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,483 Why am I sitting here? 5 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,166 Why am I still sitting on this bench? 6 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,401 You know, it's probably best if I rewind. 7 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:04,006 If I back up and explain. 8 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,486 Every relationship arrives at a critical moment, 9 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,446 a juncture, 10 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,524 between moving forward and moving on. 11 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,000 I call that moment the "so." 12 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:17,321 So... 13 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:20,042 Where is this going, then? 14 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:23,602 I think you're a... Like... I think you're amazing. 15 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:25,284 I think you're an amazing girl. I... 16 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:30,806 - I think you're an amazing person. - No. 17 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,450 I'm breaking up with you. 18 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,321 - I have to. - You're breaking up? 19 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,489 I'm sorry, Jason, I need somebody who's ready. 20 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:41,042 I need somebody who doesn't drink coffee out of a cereal bowl. 21 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,845 - What? - And has a bed frame. 22 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,204 I wasn't confused because she was breaking up with me. 23 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:48,691 I'm so late for work. 24 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:53,081 I was confused because I had no idea we were dating. 25 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,806 I'm not even close to the guy you need. 26 00:01:57,880 --> 00:01:59,644 The guy you deserve. 27 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,406 Like... I'm... 28 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,042 And I'm so sorry that I can't be that guy. 29 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:07,966 In her defense, we'd been having sex, like, once a week for six weeks. 30 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,729 I'm so late for work. 31 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,886 But in my defense, that's a hookup approaching the seeing stage. 32 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,610 I'm sorry, Jason. 33 00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:18,690 No. I understand. 34 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,641 I understand. 35 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,087 And what I understood was, at that moment, 36 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,766 we were definitely not dating. 37 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,047 - Dude, did you get my message? - Man, I left, like, 10 minutes ago... 38 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,461 Come on, man. You're late. Look, what have you been doing? 39 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,006 What have I been doing? Christy just broke up with me. 40 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,606 Oh, man. Who's Christy? 41 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:58,764 Vera, you home? 42 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,762 I didn't know we had company. 43 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:05,727 You're home early. 44 00:03:05,800 --> 00:03:07,450 Yeah, I skipped the gym. 45 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,289 This is my lawyer. 46 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:11,600 Oh, your lawyer. 47 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:14,643 Actually, he's a very good lawyer. 48 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,411 Is everything okay? 49 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,807 So your wife said that she was having intense sex? 50 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:20,961 Yes, intense. 51 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,087 I can't believe she said, "intense." 52 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,685 That's what she said. With a guy named Harold. 53 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,604 And while she said this, her lawyer was just sitting there? 54 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:27,966 He looked like Morris Chestnut. 55 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,651 Who the fuck is Morris Chestnut? 56 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:31,721 From Boyz n the Hood. 57 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:32,881 - Ricky? - Yeah. 58 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,610 Dude, I love Ricky. 59 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:36,650 Not anymore. 60 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:37,846 Who the fuck looks like Morris Chestnut? 61 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,410 - Yeah. That's not a strong look. - Her lawyer. 62 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,482 Her lawyer looks like Morris Chestnut. 63 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,164 Okay, and he was just sitting there on the couch? 64 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,402 Yeah, why was he just sitting there on the couch? 65 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,402 'Cause she wants a divorce. 66 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:53,487 - That's... - Fuck, man. 67 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,164 - Are you kidding me? - I'm sorry. 68 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,527 And here's the kicker, her lawyer, the guy sitting there, 69 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:01,082 the guy that looks like Morris Chestnut, is the guy she's having sex with. 70 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:02,446 - Harold? - Harold! 71 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,329 Fuck Harold. 72 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:05,967 Oh, man. 73 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,883 Did... Did he say anything? 74 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:10,406 He said he liked my shoes. 75 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:12,205 - What? - He said what? 76 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,602 He said he liked my shoes. 77 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,286 Well... 78 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:22,567 He's not wrong. They're cool shoes. 79 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,042 What the fuck, man? I don't deserve this. 80 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,447 I don't know what we're going to do, man. 81 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:30,931 We need to get him a hooker. 82 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,041 We can't afford a hooker. 83 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:33,690 Yeah, we can use a coupon. Get him a cheap hooker. It's Mikey. 84 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:35,410 - No, we're not. - Look. "East Village girls for hire." 85 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:36,447 - No. - Right there. 86 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:37,567 - No. - Yeah. 87 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:38,607 According to this article, 88 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,648 most of the bars on the East Side are filled with hookers. 89 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:41,767 You know what I love about you 90 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:44,525 is that you literally believe every single thing that you read. 91 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,762 - No, I don't. - Yes, you do. 92 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:47,921 It's like you're nine years old. 93 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,764 No, no. They're like young, cool hookers. 94 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,080 They dress like hipsters and shit. 95 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,050 And I'm telling you that I highly doubt that that is the case. 96 00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,121 Then why would it be in a magazine? 97 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,281 I don't know. 98 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:57,765 Read it. 99 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,881 "She dresses like any other pretty young thing, 100 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,327 "knee-high boots strewn about the floor, 101 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,607 "and a drawer filled to the hilt with condoms 102 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,881 "seemed the only indication of her sideline occupation." 103 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:08,967 How awesome is that? 104 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,122 Hey guys. It's Fred. 105 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,201 Hey, Fred. 106 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,322 You know it's not a phone. Right? 107 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,806 You're actually here, Fred. We can see you. 108 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:19,921 Totally. 109 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:26,247 So you're due to present on the Silverman book. 110 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,245 So... 111 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,686 You guys are prepared? Right? 112 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,410 We'll be in there. 113 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:38,966 That's a blank board. 114 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,085 That's a gold mine. 115 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:45,525 I mean, we gave you stacks of examples. 116 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,921 You mean these. Right? 117 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,368 What you're seeing there is exactly what you're gonna see everywhere else. 118 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:52,521 And we can deliver that. 119 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:55,843 But when we're talking about The Unexpectable Princess... 120 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,207 - Which is a great title. - It's a wonderful, wonderful title. 121 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:02,490 But still, it's drowning in a sea of boring pastel. 122 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:03,607 That's not what you want. 123 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,284 And that's not what you need. 124 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:06,407 I think I know what you need. 125 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:07,527 I think he does. 126 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,523 A book's cover should hint at the story. 127 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,125 But not give away too much. 128 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,611 This is about wish fulfillment. 129 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:18,323 Black and white. Cool and spare. 130 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:22,089 Now, a recent study using MRIs 131 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,606 showed that women's brains lit up like fireworks 132 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,170 when they were showed pictures of... 133 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:27,281 A penis. 134 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:28,521 What? 135 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:33,081 - No. No. - No. 136 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:34,241 - No. - No. 137 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,090 No. 138 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,401 Women's brains lit up like fireworks 139 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,086 when they were showed pictures of 140 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,404 - shoes. - Shoes. 141 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:47,090 Shoes. 142 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:51,927 And nothing says wish fulfillment like Christian Louboutin. 143 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:55,643 Ask any girl in the room. 144 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:00,321 I love it. 145 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:03,890 Dude, are you taking a shit in there? 146 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:04,927 Absolutely not. 147 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,889 Every time you come over, you take a shit in there. 148 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,440 I'm not taking a shit. I'm using self-tanner. 149 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:10,487 Self-tanner? 150 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,848 Yeah. I told that assistant at Vogue I couldn't hang out 'cause I was in Toulon. 151 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,161 Trying to phase her out of my roster. 152 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,163 Also, I am taking a shit. 153 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,891 Every time. 154 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,486 You did the retrieve? Huh? 155 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,403 I just grabbed whatever I could. 156 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,089 - Yo, Mikey! - Were you taking a shit in there? 157 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,083 - Yep. - Jesus! Every time. 158 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:34,804 - We're going the fuck out. - Is that ice cream? 159 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:36,291 You bought ice cream, Mike? Come on. 160 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:37,566 Yeah. It's peanut butter chocolate. 161 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:38,971 That's a great flavor. Let me see it. 162 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,724 - Hey. We're going out. No ice cream. - No. No. 163 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,802 You see, whiskey doesn't mix well with ice cream. 164 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,405 - I need it. - You need it? 165 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,483 - Yes. - You need it? What're you, a fat teenage girl? 166 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:47,641 - What're you, Bridget Jones? - Really? 167 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,290 - Name calling? Is that what we're doing? - Yeah. 168 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:50,520 - Give me the ice cream. - No. 169 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,324 - Give me the ice cream. - I know that look. Get away from me. 170 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,401 - Give me the ice cream. - Back up, little man. 171 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,289 - Give me the ice cream. - Get off, man. 172 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,362 Nobody gets ice cream! 173 00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:58,441 That was awesome. 174 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,600 - Did you throw it out the window? - We're going out. 175 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:04,050 I mean, I bet you thought you were never going feel this again, man. 176 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:06,646 The excitement. The energy. You don't get this in relationships. 177 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:09,610 I've been out of the game so long I forgot how much I miss this. 178 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,648 You were never in the game. You were a married doctor. 179 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,250 - Whatever. - Hey, do you guys want a mint? 180 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:15,482 - Yeah. - Here we go. That's for you. 181 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:16,607 That's for you. 182 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:17,720 That's a weird mint, dude. 183 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,444 Yeah, I know. It's Viagra. 184 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,881 You've got four hours to drink like Keith Richards and still get hard. 185 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,770 Every good action movie has a ticking clock. Right? 186 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:26,926 Fucking idiots. 187 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,601 Idiots. 188 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,726 I know! 189 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,089 I'm fucking drunk right now. 190 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,201 Yeah, that's right. 191 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,685 I can't wait to get drunk. 192 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,444 I can't do this. I can't do this. 193 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,045 Hey, come here. Yes, you can. 194 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,283 Yes, you can. You just need to be like, "Hey! I'm a good-looking doctor." 195 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,691 No, it would work for me, Mikey. 196 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,046 - Would it? - Yeah, it would. 197 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,804 That would totally work for me. 198 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,530 Hey! Chels! 199 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:59,650 Oh, my God! I love your shoes! I've been looking for those. 200 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:00,881 Thank you! 201 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,883 Wow! You are beautiful. 202 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,566 This is my friend, Daniel. He's amazing. 203 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,449 But he's a virgin. 204 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:09,931 There's always a catch. 205 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,243 I'm just trying to get laid before I graduate high school. 206 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:14,890 Hi, I'm Sophie. 207 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,485 I know you are. 208 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,560 - Whiskey... - Yeah. 209 00:09:27,640 --> 00:09:29,600 - I love you. - We're doing it... I love you, too. 210 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,642 I've never met that guy before. 211 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,601 What's up, buddy? How's it going? 212 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:45,681 Well, 213 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:48,240 I'm drinking alone in a bar full of assholes. 214 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:50,766 And all these girls, they seem to like the assholes more. 215 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,764 Dude, do you remember when for, like, two years in college, 216 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,923 every single girl that I liked liked you? 217 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,002 - Rebecca Daniels... - Yeah. Rebecca Daniels. 218 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,809 - She was hot. - She was. 219 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,325 She was all right. 220 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,528 Where's the Mikey that got her? 221 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:09,048 Because that guy was fucking awesome. 222 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,289 That girl's staring at you at the end of the bar. 223 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,086 - Should I look? - No, not yet. 224 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:19,607 - Now. - No. 225 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,324 Yeah, go ahead and look. 226 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:32,851 Night away? 227 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,763 Yeah. She was fucking Harold. 228 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,804 There's always a Harold. 229 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,325 There's always a Harold. 230 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:45,491 When I was a kid, I used to open all the windows in my bedroom 231 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:49,167 when it was freezing, and just lay on top of the covers. 232 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:50,647 Why? 233 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,564 I wanted to understand what it felt like to be homeless. 234 00:10:54,560 --> 00:10:56,562 Do you understand that feeling? 235 00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,922 Just needing to know? 236 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,361 Wow. 237 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,010 I know. 238 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,162 He fucking looked like Morris Chestnut. 239 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:07,651 Who looks like Morris Chestnut? 240 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:09,802 It is not a good look. Nobody should look like Morris Chestnut. 241 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,121 Okay, who is Morris Chestnut? 242 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:14,202 Apparently, he's a great lawyer. 243 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,444 Well, I wrote my number on this. 244 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,488 Use it when you're ready. 245 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:24,641 Look, is this the part where we go home? 246 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:26,091 'Cause I'm not really in the mood. 247 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:28,288 You're sitting on my coat. 248 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,320 I am. 249 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,201 I'm sorry about that. 250 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,362 It's okay. Thanks. 251 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:39,283 - Good night. - Good night. 252 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:44,321 Hey. 253 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:45,845 I'm gonna get a drink. You want a drink? 254 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:46,887 - No. I'm good. - Let me get you a drink. 255 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,200 - What, a vodka soda? - No, no, no. 256 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:49,611 - My man. - No. 257 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,081 - Come on. It's just a drink. - Oh, no. I'm good. Thank you. 258 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:53,525 I need a drink, too. I'll get you a drink. 259 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:57,400 Honestly, what if I enjoy the drink? What happens then? 260 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:59,801 I'd love to hear what you think happens then. 261 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:02,445 I'll tell you what happens. 262 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,921 We go play beer pong with your two roommates 263 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,287 until I end up back at yours in Murray Hill? 264 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,850 Yeah, that's right. How did you know that? 265 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,605 And then we'll have to listen to your roommate have sex with Hilary 266 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:14,729 or Emily or whatever the girl's name is until we fall asleep. 267 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,087 And then a year later, we're still playing beer pong 268 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:18,650 in the same bars with your friends. 269 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,405 Except now you feel pressure to get married and have kids 270 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,562 'cause you think that's what I want. 271 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:26,047 Then in the summers, drive up to the Hamptons to meet his parents, 272 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,487 wondering the whole ride if they're going to think you're pretty enough. 273 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:29,647 - Smart. - Wondering the whole ride, 274 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:30,881 if they're going to think you're smart enough. 275 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,247 Because no one is. And then we have to drink shitty chardonnay. 276 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,446 At a shitty garden party. 277 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,681 - And have shitty conversations. - About shitty people. 278 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,051 With his shitty mother. 279 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,724 Who, let's face it, doesn't think you're smart enough. 280 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:40,767 Pretty. 281 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,047 Who, let's face it, doesn't think you're pretty enough. 282 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:44,884 Because no one is. 283 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,849 No one ever will be. 284 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,768 What was all that shit? Look, I'm just talking about a drink. 285 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,765 Yeah, but it wasn't just a drink, though, was it? 286 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,524 It was a marriage proposal. 287 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:58,161 Marriage. No, I was... 288 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,364 Just a vodka soda. 289 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,086 Fuck you guys. I'm... 290 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:05,766 - Drink? - Yeah. 291 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,201 You're amazing. 292 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,084 Let's get out of here. 293 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:27,970 You like that? 294 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,608 You're sitting on my coat. 295 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,562 I have to use your bathroom. 296 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:06,921 Fuck. Pick up. 297 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,411 Pick up. Pick up your phone! 298 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,720 Dude, I have a serious problem. 299 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,406 You got a problem. I got a problem. I gotta take a leak right now. 300 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,721 And my boner looks like that thing on The Price Is Right. 301 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:15,761 Bob Barker? 302 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:16,841 Yeah, my dick looks like Bob Barker. 303 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,088 No, you asshole, that thing that stops the wheel. 304 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,049 - What? - I think I took too much Viagra. 305 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,201 I just really got to take a leak. 306 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,090 You have to just get horizontal. 307 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,924 Get horizontal? What the... 308 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,206 You need to be horizontal. 309 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,203 - Me or the boner? - Both. 310 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,884 I can't. My boner is perpendicular to my body. 311 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,007 Just try it, man. 312 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,560 This is the stupidest idea I've ever heard of. What the... 313 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:36,846 This isn't... 314 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:39,366 Wait, bro, it's actually working. 315 00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:40,891 Of course it is, but, dude, listen to me. 316 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,850 I think the girl that I just had sex with is a hooker. 317 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,001 What? That's awesome. 318 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,606 No! It's not awesome, man. What if she makes me pay? 319 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:48,806 I don't have hooker money. 320 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,370 - You definitely don't have hooker money. - Dude. 321 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,965 I don't know what to do, man. You gotta help me. 322 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:53,690 Okay, well, you know what? If she asks for cash, 323 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:57,048 you could pretend that you're a hooker, too, and maybe the rates would balance out. 324 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,088 You are so fucking useless. Do you know that? 325 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,440 Is your dick touching the water? 326 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:01,801 Fuck you. 327 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,331 Which one of you divas uses self-tanner? 328 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,684 I do. Why? 329 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,665 Because I beat off with it last night. 330 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,762 Why... Why didn't you even read the bottle? 331 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:25,887 I was a little drunk. 332 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,371 - What? - What? 333 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:28,965 My shit is orange. 334 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,528 - Look at this! - Oh, my God. 335 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:32,601 Oh, no. 336 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,364 Who knew that could even happen to you? 337 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,162 I didn't know you could change colors. 338 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,004 - Stop. - Your dick looks like a yam. 339 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,809 - Your dick looks like a traffic cone. - Just stop. 340 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,247 Your dick looks like a can of cheddar Pringles. 341 00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:45,287 That's fucked up. 342 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,010 You dick looks like Spike Lee at a Knicks game. 343 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,323 If your dick was jumping over the river, it would be the General Lee. 344 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:54,040 All right! All right! What happened to you two idiots last night? 345 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,531 I freaked out and left. I didn't know what to do. 346 00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,369 It's her bread and butter. It's how she keeps the lights on. 347 00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:58,441 You basically robbed a hooker. 348 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:00,130 I didn't rob her. 349 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,281 Yes, you did. You robbed this hooker, man. 350 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,124 - You're like the opposite of Robin Hood. - I didn't rob her. 351 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,044 And that's the thing. I mean, everything else about her was perfect. 352 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,804 I mean, she was smart. She was funny. 353 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,928 She was the kind of girl I would date. 354 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,810 If she didn't, you know, happen to fuck random guys for money. 355 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,644 - Yeah. - That's really the only thing 356 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,165 that's getting in the way of that relationship. 357 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,366 Fuck you guys. 358 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,283 Did you friend that girl yet, Mikey? The glasses girl? 359 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,120 No. I mean, can you even do that that fast? 360 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,009 Dude! You've gotta make her laugh. Get a rapport going. 361 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:24,081 - Yeah, man. - Give me your phone real quick. 362 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,162 Give him your phone. We live in an extremely efficient world. 363 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,004 Somebody else could be sealing the deal right now. 364 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:31,482 Listen, last night was amazing. Okay? I had a great time. 365 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,085 - You guys were awesome. - Thank you. 366 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,926 All right? But I'm gonna call Vera. We've got things that we need to work on. 367 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,320 - No. That's a bad move. - Come on. 368 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:39,481 - You don't wanna do that. - Horrible move. 369 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:40,965 - We had so much fun last night. - Yeah. 370 00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,007 Wow. 371 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,320 What? 372 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:44,447 She... 373 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,006 She changed it. 374 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,206 - What? - What? 375 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,486 What are you talking about? 376 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,725 Vera. 377 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,041 It used to say, "married," and now it says... 378 00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,485 It says nothing. 379 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:06,449 All right, I married a smart girl. I married the right girl. Right? 380 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,568 I went to med school right after college. 381 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,688 I did what I was supposed to do. 382 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:14,724 I checked the boxes. 383 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,449 But maybe what you did didn't check hers. 384 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:21,010 We had the same boxes. 385 00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:22,525 Did you have the same boxes? 386 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,045 Maybe you need a little more experience with boxes. 387 00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:26,168 Yeah, maybe we should lead you down the path to better boxes. 388 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:27,651 Look, guys. I don't need that. All right? 389 00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,722 I need to call Vera and I need to work this shit out. 390 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,211 That's what I'm going to do. I need to call her, okay? 391 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:33,084 I need to call Vera. I need to work this shit out. 392 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,640 - It kills me to see you like this. - Yeah. 393 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:37,601 Hey. 394 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,682 It's an opportunity to have some fun. 395 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,889 Man, this is about all of us, man. This is about all of us being together. 396 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,485 When are we all gonna be unattached? 397 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,403 In our 30s we're gonna settle down with kids. 398 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,881 We're gonna live a boring life. It's about us right now. 399 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,001 I don't know. 400 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,003 - We're staying single with you, man. - I just don't know. 401 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,162 We're staying single with you. 402 00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:58,524 We're gonna keep last night alive as long as humanly possible. 403 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,045 Nobody gets in a relationship. 404 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,482 Nobody changes their status. 405 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:04,651 Right? 406 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,322 I'm in. 407 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:15,091 - Come on! - Come on! 408 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,365 Michael? Are you in? 409 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,240 Fuck it. I'm in. 410 00:18:28,720 --> 00:18:30,529 - So, we going for this? - Yeah. 411 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,082 I mean, it's a pretty bleak ending to a book, 412 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,481 so shouldn't we leave people with some hope? 413 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,767 From where in the Midwest did this one wash up? 414 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:42,683 Fresh off her master's from Chicago. 415 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,842 Master's in what? Sentimentality? 416 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:46,729 I don't think so. 417 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,680 I just think you have to believe in possibility. 418 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,569 Sweetie. Welcome to New York. 419 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,405 You're young and you're pretty and the world is yours. 420 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,968 But you're nobody's first wife yet. 421 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:01,724 Well, we're all pretty... 422 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,406 - Look who's here. - Hi. 423 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,721 - Glad you could make it. - Yeah. 424 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,690 I gotta tell you I'm really excited about this cover, guys. 425 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,000 Hey. 426 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:11,605 - Here you go. - Okay. 427 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,326 Hey. 428 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,084 Holy shit. 429 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,771 Everyone. How's it going? 430 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,366 Good, good. 431 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:33,922 So, do you want to tell us a little bit about your approach with this cover? 432 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,805 Yeah. I'd love a little explanation. 433 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:50,691 It... 434 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,683 It is what it is. 435 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,125 "It is what it is"? 436 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,248 That's what you say when you get a parking ticket. 437 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,446 I know. 438 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,205 It looks to me like the guy here wants to escape. 439 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:02,885 Does he? 440 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:06,442 And we want him to stay. That's the fantasy of men in the city. 441 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,887 It seems like she'll bring him home in the bag, 442 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,850 totally trusting him and then after they sleep together, 443 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,809 he'll prove to be too much of an asshole 444 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,406 to actually stick around for a couple of hours. 445 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:22,123 So tell me, Jason. Why wouldn't the guy stay? 446 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,444 I thought you were a hooker. 447 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,962 - What? - A hooker. 448 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,242 - Why? - There were hooker signs. 449 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:33,367 What's a hooker sign? 450 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,044 - You had on hooker boots. - Lots of people have them. 451 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,087 There were tons of condoms. 452 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,207 Did you ever think they might be there 453 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:38,361 because I'm not having a ton of sex? 454 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:39,965 No! I thought they were a hooker sign! 455 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,087 What's a hooker sign? 456 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:42,605 What about The Story of O? 457 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:44,245 That was research for a book. 458 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,765 There were envelopes full of cash. 459 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:49,481 I pay my landlord in cash so that he can commit tax fraud. 460 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,841 How long have you lived in New York? 461 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,251 Man, not long enough. 462 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,765 Yeah. 463 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:57,808 Wait. Can I make it up to you? 464 00:20:58,240 --> 00:20:59,730 Let me make it up to you. 465 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,002 You wanna make it up to me? 466 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:05,327 Can I? 467 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,560 I don't know. 468 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:15,851 You can have my number. 469 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:18,525 And... 470 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,362 Maybe you can. 471 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,605 Yeah, dude. Everybody knows you can't call a girl a hooker. 472 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,270 Even hookers hate being called hookers. 473 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:45,691 I'm gonna bring Ellie around. 474 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,842 No, you're not! No, you're not. 475 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,001 I'm gonna get her on the roster. 476 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:50,201 Wait. A roster? 477 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,281 Yeah. A roster. 478 00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:52,521 It's a group of girls that you're hooking up with 479 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:53,840 that keeps you from sending the wrong message. 480 00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:55,649 - Which is what? - That you wanna date one of them. 481 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:57,245 You gotta start building a roster. 482 00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:58,651 Yeah. It'll help ease the transition a little. 483 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:00,840 - No, no. I do not need a roster. Okay? - Yes, you do. 484 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:01,881 I can't keep one girl. 485 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,166 What makes you think I can handle a bunch of them? 486 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,969 You just keep a bunch of them for a short period of time 487 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,530 and then you send them out into the world to flourish. 488 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:07,806 - Like college kids. - Yes. 489 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,120 Or like capitalism. 490 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:10,486 And then you replenish the team. 491 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,040 Think of a roster like a spiritual and physical... 492 00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:14,201 Mostly physical. 493 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,850 ...rejuvenation of the male soul. 494 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,600 Which you guys clearly don't fucking have. 495 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:18,801 Think of it like a spa. 496 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:20,211 A spa for your cock. 497 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,009 - A cock spa. - Yep. 498 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:25,129 You just got to use whatever skills that you have available to you. 499 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:26,929 Girls love personalization. 500 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,001 You guys are idiots. 501 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,081 You're an idiot. 502 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:34,526 Vera! 503 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,688 Look, I'm... I'm sorry to barge in on you. 504 00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:39,125 What are you doing here? 505 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:41,800 Okay, look. 506 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:46,169 I know that this is an awkward thing to do, but... 507 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,887 I have been having some pain. 508 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,808 And I just... 509 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,604 I don't know. 510 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,890 You came because you needed my help. 511 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,564 I came to apologize. I did. 512 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,504 - You came because you needed my help. - Mikey. 513 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,723 I just... I've been thinking about you. 514 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:05,966 It really was just a simple misunderstanding. 515 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:07,280 Yeah, it was like, "What kind of girl would I be 516 00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:09,124 "if I didn't eventually find it funny?" 517 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,727 You'd be probably every other girl in the world. I think. 518 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:15,846 I'm really sorry. 519 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,648 But I'm not every other girl in the world. 520 00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:19,801 No. 521 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,161 I guess you're not. 522 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,846 And then I kind of developed my own style, I guess. 523 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,490 And now you... 524 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,164 Design book covers. 525 00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:28,685 Amongst other things. 526 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,967 Well, I guess you get people to believe in something enough 527 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,326 to want to buy it. 528 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,641 I get people to believe in the surface. 529 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,610 To do the one thing your parents told you not to do. 530 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,603 To judge a book by its cover. 531 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:40,846 Exactly. 532 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,006 - We weren't supposed to do that. - You weren't supposed to do that. 533 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,082 See? I was encouraged. 534 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,640 Another example of just plain awful parenting. 535 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,446 But, like, the job that you have right now, 536 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,809 like, is it something that you actually want to be doing? 537 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,844 You know what? It can be fun. 538 00:24:57,920 --> 00:24:59,604 But do I love it? 539 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:00,886 - You don't. - No. 540 00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:02,644 Don't you want to love something? 541 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:06,602 What? Do you love what you do? 542 00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,762 I started this new lecture series. 543 00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,286 And authors can come along and they can talk about their work. 544 00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:12,486 - That's awesome. - Yes. So great. 545 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,005 - And people come? - No. 546 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:15,605 - No? - No. 547 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,321 But I... 548 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,926 It's okay. I mean, I figure that if I keep doing It, 549 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,764 it could be a really, really amazing thing. 550 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,962 You should come along to one of them if you're around. 551 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:29,041 I don't know. 552 00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:31,441 I can't really tell if it's important to you. 553 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,327 I'm sorry. That's a weird laugh. 554 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,801 This is my favorite place in the city. 555 00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:50,005 Yeah. It's beautiful. 556 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:56,005 I know that I'm romanticizing the idea, 557 00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:58,651 but come on. 558 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:03,285 That's kind of my dream. To have the key to Gramercy Park. 559 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:08,926 New York's charm is you're surrounded by things you can't have. 560 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:14,045 New York's charm is it makes you think you can have them. 561 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:25,240 You know, I'd love to look inside before we buy. 562 00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:27,285 Me, too. 563 00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:30,443 In the meantime, we can go back to my place. 564 00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:32,727 It's very similar, actually. 565 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,849 Except for everything about it. 566 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:38,365 I gotta get home. 567 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:39,805 Okay. Yours, it is. 568 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:41,480 You're one hell of a negotiator. 569 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:45,127 This kind of stuff just rolls off your tongue doesn't it? 570 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,407 I'm just trying to make you laugh. 571 00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:01,246 I don't like how well it's working. 572 00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:08,801 Fuck... 573 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,768 Wait, so you guys still haven't gotten Mikey laid? 574 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:15,807 - No. - What's wrong with you? 575 00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:16,881 You're like the worst wingman ever. 576 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,803 Are you kidding me, Chelsea? I'm an incredible wingman. 577 00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:20,006 I know, but, like, nothing? 578 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:21,161 It's just harder than you think with him. 579 00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:22,207 Like, what about a blowjob? 580 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,720 I'm good right now, but thank you. Maybe in, like, 10 minutes? 581 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:25,967 Maybe after this beer? 582 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:27,081 Sorry, I'm just making a mental list 583 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,049 of all the things I'd like to do before giving you a blowjob. 584 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:30,360 Wow. Really? 585 00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:32,890 Kill myself is number one. 586 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,440 Are you serious? Jesus. What's number two? 587 00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,204 Just, like, awaiting trial in Guantanamo. 588 00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:38,850 - Yup. - Yeah. 589 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:42,208 Come on, man. The blues? Are you fucking serious? 590 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:46,001 What the fuck does Captain Attractive have to be so sad about? 591 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:47,491 I don't know. 592 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:52,208 I think he's going for brooding and dark, mysterious. 593 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:53,427 It's kind of working for me. 594 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:54,646 - That is working? - Yes. 595 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:57,166 You cannot be that attractive and have a skill. That's bullshit. 596 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,083 Well, I'm gonna play, so you're wrong. 597 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,049 Then somebody's in trouble. 598 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:03,168 Cheer up, asshole. You're the guy. 599 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:05,526 Buckle up. 600 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:07,443 Hey, excuse me? I just wanted to tell you great job. 601 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:08,931 I almost cried right there. 602 00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:10,650 It was really some powerful stuff. 603 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,609 Yeah. It was brooding, dark, and mysterious, apparently. 604 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:14,521 - Yeah. - Thanks. That's what I was going for. 605 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:15,886 Told you. 606 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:16,927 This is my friend, Chelsea. 607 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:19,571 She's not much to look at, but wait till you hear her play the piano. 608 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,041 - Really good. - I can't wait. I'm Diego. 609 00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:23,881 I know you are. 610 00:28:23,960 --> 00:28:26,611 I warn you, though. She can be really aggressive sometimes. 611 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:27,727 Is that right? 612 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,928 But you can tame her with tequila and compliments. 613 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,047 - Yeah. - So... 614 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:32,610 - Super aggressive. - Yeah? 615 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,207 - Hey, are you home? - No. I'm at the hospital. Where are you? 616 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,486 I'm headed back. 617 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:37,721 All right. So? 618 00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:38,767 How was it? 619 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:40,888 It was amazing, man. She was amazing. 620 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:42,680 So is she coming back to the house or what? 621 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:44,731 Not exactly. 622 00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,531 - Hey. - After midnight? Really? 623 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:28,284 I couldn't sleep. 624 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:32,683 It's good to see you. 625 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,767 So what happened with you and the piano man? Rodrigo? 626 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:10,365 - Diego? - Diego. 627 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:11,487 I don't know. 628 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,369 I don't want to date a guy that's prettier than me. You know? 629 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,090 Yeah. Me neither. 630 00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:16,400 Plus, he works out. 631 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:17,720 I don't want a man that works out. 632 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,565 Yeah. I worked out once. 2004. 633 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,449 Got on the 15 dumbbells. 634 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:24,443 I was like, "Those are way too light, let me go to the 30s." 635 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:25,487 - Nice. - And if you feel it... 636 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:26,607 Don't. I don't wanna touch it. 637 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:27,846 And then I hit the hammies. 638 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,685 - Some quads. And if you feel that. - You definitely got the lingo down. 639 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:31,807 - Do you see that? - No. 640 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:33,291 - Well... - Fat. 641 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,806 That's what happens when you work out 642 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:37,405 once. 643 00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:40,411 What are you doing here anyway? 644 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:41,561 - What do you mean? - I don't know. 645 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,086 Weren't you supposed to hang out with that girl from Trinity? 646 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:49,445 Yeah. I had to tell her I wasn't looking for anything too serious. 647 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:53,611 'Cause if it ever stopped being fun for you guys, you'd want to just call it off? 648 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,045 - That's... Yeah. - I know. 649 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:56,121 You got it down. 650 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:57,201 - Brother. I know the spiel. - Brother. 651 00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:58,520 Yeah. 652 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:00,285 I don't know. I just thought you liked her. 653 00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:01,441 I did like her. 654 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:04,091 She was cool, really smart, funny, well-read. 655 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:05,889 - Great family. - Love it 656 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:07,883 And gave the best blowjob in recorded history. 657 00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:11,123 I feel like every blowjob you get, you think is the best in recorded history... 658 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,966 Well, if you look at the common variable across all encounters, you'll find that it's me. 659 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,283 So maybe I'm the best in recorded history at receiving blowjobs. 660 00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:19,600 - Bam. - Bam. 661 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,205 - Think about that. - Don't want to. 662 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,568 Cheers to me getting awesome blowjobs and just being good at it. 663 00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:25,801 You're such an idiot. 664 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:07,089 So? Jason, where is this going? 665 00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:09,321 Fuck. 666 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:15,365 Look, I think you're an amazing girl. 667 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,490 And if I was in a different place, maybe, 668 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,723 but, I mean, you know that I'm not really looking for anything serious. 669 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:26,088 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. As soon as this stops being fun for one of us. 670 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,931 Hey, J-Go! How'd it go with that hooker? 671 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,485 Did you just call me a hooker? 672 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:43,289 No, I meant the other... 673 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:46,045 Yeah. I just said the wrong thing just now. 674 00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:47,526 You think? 675 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:49,369 Yes. 676 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:51,970 Hey, Mikey? 677 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:55,921 Mikey? 678 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:57,923 - Can you shut the door? - Shit. 679 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,323 Okay. I'd like to apologize. 680 00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:05,401 Don't worry about it. 681 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:06,607 Caffeine? 682 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:09,282 No, thanks. I gotta run. 683 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:11,931 But at least he offers. 684 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,001 I offer. 685 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:14,081 You've never offered. 686 00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,003 For the record. I'm sorry for anything I said. 687 00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:18,481 Am saying. And might say in the future. 688 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,762 An apology. So sweet. 689 00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:22,842 I like him better than you. For the record. 690 00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:24,922 For the record, he is better than me. 691 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,331 This is true. 692 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:27,646 Bye. 693 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:32,165 - So you went out with... - Ellie. 694 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,487 - Then you came home and had sex with... - Alana. 695 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:35,721 Jesus! 696 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:37,609 - I did that for you. - You did it for me? 697 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:39,364 - Yeah. - You had sex with a beautiful woman for me? 698 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:40,441 Yeah. For you. 699 00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:41,760 Thank you. Thank you. 700 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,286 If I need anything else, I'll be sure to let you know. 701 00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:45,681 I'm just building my roster, man. 702 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:47,165 - Roster? - Yeah, my roster. 703 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:48,207 Ellie's on the way in. 704 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:49,611 Alana just gave me the "so." 705 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:50,841 The "so"? 706 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:51,887 Yeah, the "so.". 707 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:55,089 When it comes to girls, nothing good ever follows the word "so." 708 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:56,924 "So," where is this going? 709 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,490 "So," what're we doing? 710 00:33:58,560 --> 00:33:59,721 And you just got the "so"? 711 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:01,245 Yeah, I just got the "so." 712 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:02,731 So that's when you get out. 713 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:04,962 - Always? - Always. 714 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,090 You're a fucking idiot. 715 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:21,042 So Chelsea worked her magic again? 716 00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:23,128 - Yeah, yeah. In a sense, yeah. - Really? 717 00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:24,929 So, is she, like, hot. She smart, cool? 718 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:26,644 Yeah. Yeah, all of the above. 719 00:34:26,720 --> 00:34:27,881 Wow, really? 720 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:29,286 Yeah. I'm not gonna date her. 721 00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:31,249 She's not datable if that's what you're getting at, okay? 722 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:33,049 So let's just calm down. 723 00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,005 What about you? Did you see what's-her-name? 724 00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:36,127 - Ellie? - Yeah. 725 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:38,009 Yeah. We, like, went to the park. We hung out. 726 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:39,241 Went to the park, hung out? 727 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:41,766 You liked this girl when you thought she was a hooker. 728 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:43,925 - Are you falling in love? - No, man. 729 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,082 I think you are. I can hear it in your voice. 730 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:47,764 I had sex with Alana. 731 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:49,330 - You had sex with both of them? - No. 732 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:50,885 You fucking double gophered? 733 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:52,291 - I didn't. - Sorry, sorry, sorry. 734 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,243 You double gophered? I love that. 735 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:55,771 You had sex with both of them. That's awesome. 736 00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,207 No, I didn't. Ellie went home. Alana came over. 737 00:34:58,280 --> 00:34:59,440 That's what I love about you. 738 00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:00,606 Like, you never push too hard. 739 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:02,045 - You always have a backup. - Yeah. 740 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:04,208 You're like Judge Reinhold in Beverly Hills Cop. 741 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:06,800 - I'm not getting in a relationship. - Except you're an asshole. 742 00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:16,645 Hello. This is Ellie. 743 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:17,841 Hey. 744 00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:19,160 It's Jason. 745 00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:21,004 All right, we're going on a date tomorrow. 746 00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:23,526 Gramercy Park. Dress nicely. 747 00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:24,846 No questions. 748 00:35:25,240 --> 00:35:26,571 You in? 749 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:31,681 Yeah. 750 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:33,091 Vera, we have to talk. 751 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:34,889 Mikey, did you call the glasses girl, yet? 752 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:37,327 Can you come see me tonight? It's important. 753 00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:38,925 Dude. Tell us how the call went. 754 00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:40,729 - Nope. I'm not pissing. - Okay. 755 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:42,086 - Come on in. - First of all, 756 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:43,440 - your dick looks like it found Nemo. - Stop. 757 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:45,321 Second of all, are you gonna see glasses girl? 758 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:46,361 She gonna come see me tonight. 759 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:50,126 First of all, I think your dick looks like a snowman's nose. 760 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:51,690 - Can you stop? - Second of all, 761 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:52,966 I thought you worked tonight? 762 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:54,371 - She might come by the hospital. - No. 763 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:56,329 Mikey, I love your thinking on this, man. 764 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:57,845 The work-date combination. 765 00:35:57,920 --> 00:35:59,001 - It's very impressive. - Yeah. 766 00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:01,162 - I'm just thinking on my toes. - He knows shit, man. 767 00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:04,801 It's casual. It's innovative. I love your work, man. 768 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,645 I love that jacket. Where are you going tonight? 769 00:36:07,720 --> 00:36:08,801 I have a pretty big night ahead of me. 770 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:12,009 I'm playing the incredibly wealthy Mr. Von Ferrington. 771 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:13,570 That's so awesome! 772 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:14,971 You're role playing. You're committing. 773 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,088 - Exactly. What are you doing? - I'm going to meet up with Chelsea 774 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:18,161 and see what we can make happen. 775 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:19,281 Again? 776 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:20,441 Why is she always hooking you up with girls? 777 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:21,885 Have you looked in the mirror? Have you looked at me? 778 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:23,610 I'm the most attractive. So it's the easiest. 779 00:36:23,720 --> 00:36:25,165 - Come on. - Yeah! That's why. 780 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,601 Guys, in high school, I was voted most likely to have the best eyes. 781 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:29,330 - That's just not true. - So... 782 00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:30,401 Yeah, right. 783 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:32,406 You idiot. 784 00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,486 Do you know that James Harper lived here? 785 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:43,510 - Really? - He used to be the mayor of New York. 786 00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:47,529 You've really chosen a wonderful property to look at Mr. Von... 787 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:48,687 - Ferrington. - Ferrington. 788 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,364 - Von Ferrington. - Von Ferrington. 789 00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:53,808 I mean, this is one of the finest properties in the city. 790 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:55,888 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 791 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,331 Look at the parquet floors that are all inlaid and original. 792 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:02,845 And this. 793 00:37:02,920 --> 00:37:04,968 Let me show you this. 794 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,409 Unfettered access to the private park is, 795 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:13,563 of course, one of the finest things about living on Gramercy. 796 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:16,120 - Unfettered? - Unfettered. 797 00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:21,770 And now further, I'd like you to take a look at this wrought iron. 798 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:24,730 - Lattice wrought iron which is the original. - Original? 799 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:28,202 And we have in here a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful chandelier, 800 00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:29,770 which is cut crystal. 801 00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:32,764 You'll notice all of the detail on the ceiling. 802 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:36,606 Now the Obasan rug is original of the period. 803 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,490 And we have over there a stained glass window. 804 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,368 - Let's go. - Why? 805 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:44,928 Look at the detail on this poster here. 806 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,890 Let's go, let's go, let's go! I'll explain later. 807 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,088 Here, the kitchen. 808 00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:51,685 Quick! The old woman's coming! 809 00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:54,046 Hello? 810 00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:55,887 Won't we get caught? 811 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,490 I don't think so. Let's go. 812 00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:58,925 Hello? 813 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,923 Mr. Ferrington? 814 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:02,001 Hello? 815 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:05,368 Slow down. Slow down. Just walk normal. 816 00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:06,487 What do you mean walk... 817 00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,483 - You're walking like a criminal. - What? This is how I walk. 818 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:09,641 I'm not a criminal. 819 00:38:09,720 --> 00:38:11,245 But I am. 820 00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:14,444 We have to go. Let's go! 821 00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:15,925 Hello? 822 00:38:16,720 --> 00:38:17,721 Hello? 823 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,646 Okay. You said we need to talk. 824 00:38:22,720 --> 00:38:24,882 Nobody says, "We need to talk," unless it's really bad news, right? 825 00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,088 - No, no, no. - And my grandmother had ovarian cancer. 826 00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:29,168 No, no, no. You're fine, you're fine, you're fine! 827 00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:31,322 The tests they ran indicated nothing out of the ordinary. 828 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:32,526 - I have all the symptoms. - Baby, you're fine. 829 00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:33,647 You're fine. You're okay. 830 00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:34,687 - Come here. - What was that message then? 831 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:36,410 Come here. No, no. Come here. 832 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,091 Okay. I am sorry. I just wanted to talk. 833 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,522 Oh, my God. You are such an idiot. 834 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,367 - You are such an idiot. - Yes. 835 00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,920 Just... Just... Just come sit down. Okay? 836 00:38:48,720 --> 00:38:50,085 Oh, God. 837 00:38:51,480 --> 00:38:53,289 Breathe. Breathe. 838 00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,408 Oh, God, I thought I was dying. 839 00:39:01,000 --> 00:39:03,367 Yeah. You thought you were dying. 840 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:04,771 That was me. 841 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:14,370 Where did we go wrong? 842 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:19,081 Like, what happened? 843 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:20,201 What happened to us? 844 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:23,845 What happened? I... 845 00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:27,249 I mean, we got married at 23 years old, 846 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,324 I just don't think at that point you are ready for a life 847 00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,801 without excitement or spontaneity. 848 00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:34,531 Spontaneity? 849 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,001 I mean, I'm spontaneous. 850 00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:41,041 We didn't have sex for almost six months. 851 00:39:41,720 --> 00:39:43,245 You want spontaneous? 852 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:53,407 - Hey. - Hi. 853 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:55,084 - Are you sick or something? - No. 854 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:56,571 Those aren't going out clothes. 855 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:58,051 Well, who's going out? 856 00:39:58,120 --> 00:39:59,884 I thought we were going out. 857 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,002 That was pretty badass. 858 00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:07,650 I can get fired for that shit. 859 00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:40,126 You know, when I was a kid, I used to love going to parks. 860 00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:45,161 And my grandfather used to take me every Sunday. 861 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,203 But my ex hated parks. 862 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,921 He thought they were like too public or something. 863 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,889 He sounds like a real dick. 864 00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:55,121 What? My ex? 865 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:56,770 Your grandfather. 866 00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:00,441 So what happened between the two of you? 867 00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:04,641 Well, I graduated from school and I moved to New York. 868 00:41:04,720 --> 00:41:07,121 And he took a job in Chicago. 869 00:41:07,200 --> 00:41:12,240 And it was sort of like a focus-on-your-work-life-first sort of thing. 870 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:15,482 They call us the selfish generation. 871 00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:19,805 What about you? 872 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:25,842 Who's the one that got you? 873 00:41:27,720 --> 00:41:31,645 How dare you assume that I have any emotional capacity whatsoever? 874 00:41:31,720 --> 00:41:33,245 - Get out of my park. - No. 875 00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:34,890 - Get out. - No. 876 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:37,888 It's okay. You can come back. 877 00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:51,410 Damn it! 878 00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:53,171 I was so not gonna do that. 879 00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:54,441 I was gonna hold out. 880 00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,841 I was gonna make you wait, like, 40 days or something. 881 00:41:56,920 --> 00:42:01,608 I was gonna make you wait, too, but then I realized, "I'm a dude." 882 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:19,767 Hey, guys. It's Fred. 883 00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:23,884 Jesus! Fred, you're like Reverse Elvis, you know. 884 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:25,371 Fred, you entered the building. 885 00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:28,130 I love Elvis. 886 00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:33,804 "Thank you, very much." 887 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:37,881 What's up, Fred? 888 00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:42,090 Well, Ellie from Simon just sent over the Matterhorn book cover. 889 00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:44,247 And she wants us to do it? 890 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:45,526 Specifically. 891 00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:47,841 - Specifically? - Specifically. 892 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,129 I'll get in on that. 893 00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:55,200 Right. 894 00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:01,006 Come on. 895 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:03,606 - Thanks, Fred. - Yeah. 896 00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:05,682 - All right. - Gonna do it! 897 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:10,721 Wait, okay, so let me get this straight. 898 00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:13,087 You have sex with this girl. We get a job out of it? 899 00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:14,241 Certainly seems that way. 900 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:17,682 And to think this whole time, we thought that poor girl was a hooker. 901 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:19,445 Well, yeah. 902 00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:23,570 But in reality, the only prostitute here is you. 903 00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:37,804 No one came again. 904 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,360 Again? Why don't you get better authors? 905 00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:43,201 You know, I never even thought of that. 906 00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,726 Yes, I've tried that. I've been trying. 907 00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:47,609 Well, come by my place after for a drink. 908 00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:49,011 I'll come by after. 909 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,480 I don't understand why you won't tell me. Just tell me where you did it. 910 00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:54,000 I'm not telling you, so stop asking. 911 00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:55,804 Why? You know you're gonna tell me. You tell me everything. 912 00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:57,291 I do. But I'm not telling you this right now. 913 00:43:57,360 --> 00:43:58,850 - Why? - 'Cause I'm whupping your ass. 914 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:00,331 You get all precious with this stuff and you throw down, 915 00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:01,526 and slap me in the mouth. 916 00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:02,840 Whenever you start losing, you just get upset. 917 00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:04,649 Dude, did you just take another shit in there? 918 00:44:04,720 --> 00:44:06,165 - No, I'm not. - Every time. 919 00:44:06,240 --> 00:44:07,685 Why do you care so much about what I'm doing in there? 920 00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:08,761 I wasn't taking a shit. 921 00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,285 You're so disgusting. Dude. 922 00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,761 Why do you guys care so much what I do in the bathroom? 923 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:13,807 And I wasn't taking a shit. 924 00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:14,960 - Every time. - Yes, you... 925 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:16,411 Have a little faith. What are you guys talking about? 926 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:17,606 Mikey won't tell me where he had sex last night. 927 00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:18,681 Mikey, where did you have sex last night? 928 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:20,086 Why do you care so much about where I had sex? 929 00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:21,161 'Cause we're your friends. We wanna know. 930 00:44:21,240 --> 00:44:24,001 - Where'd you have sex, Mikey? - The hospital. 931 00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:25,411 - With the glasses girl? - Are you serious? 932 00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:28,165 Oh, my God! You Grey's Anatomy motherfucker! 933 00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:29,765 Mikey, that is awesome. 934 00:44:29,880 --> 00:44:31,325 Dude, your wife never would've had sex in the hospital. 935 00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:33,323 - She's too uptight. - Not in a million years. 936 00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:35,761 I'm fucking proud of you. Really am proud of you. 937 00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,524 What is that? 938 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:39,286 I don't know. 939 00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:41,647 - You order food? - I mean, we're all here. 940 00:44:41,720 --> 00:44:43,663 - I didn't order food. Did you order food? - No. 941 00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:46,606 So. It's Ellie. 942 00:44:47,720 --> 00:44:50,200 What the fuck? Are you serious, dude? 943 00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,408 Jason, this is a den of testosterone, man. 944 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:53,845 - This is a pre-game. - This is my apartment. 945 00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:55,041 That's a good point. 946 00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:57,726 It's not a good point. First of all, guys, I just took a shit in there. 947 00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:59,046 - I knew it. - It's every time. 948 00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:00,246 Why don't you take a shit at your own apartment? 949 00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:02,721 You can't invite a girl to a place like this. 950 00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:04,450 - I didn't invite her. - You didn't invite her? 951 00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:05,806 - No. - That's worse. 952 00:45:05,880 --> 00:45:07,530 That's some girlfriend shit. 953 00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:09,130 Some I-have-a-girlfriend shit. 954 00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:11,370 Okay, well, I'm gonna buzz her in. 955 00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:12,805 - Don't buzz her. - Don't buzz her in. 956 00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:14,803 - I'm gonna buzz her in. - Jason, don't buzz her in. 957 00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:15,927 - Don't buzz... - Don't buzz her in, man. 958 00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,048 - We're having such good guy time right now. - Oh, shit. 959 00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:19,121 I just buzzed her in. 960 00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:21,328 - He fucking buzzed her in. Okay. - He buzzed her in. 961 00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:22,401 - Really? - Okay. 962 00:45:22,480 --> 00:45:23,925 Both you guys need to calm down. 963 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,321 We're not supposed to see them more than twice in one week, all right? 964 00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:28,209 And you're seeing this chick twice in one day. 965 00:45:28,280 --> 00:45:29,645 Dude. Relax. 966 00:45:29,720 --> 00:45:30,801 Invite her up then, man! 967 00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:32,245 She's not gonna wanna talk about Xbox. 968 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,688 So, I'm gonna be sitting here being like, "I have to fart but maybe I can't right now." 969 00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:38,047 She better have some hot friends. Dude, you're pissing me off. 970 00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:41,010 Open the door. I don't care. I'm getting wasted. 971 00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,287 - Hey. I hope I'm not interrupting. - Hi. 972 00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,966 No. You're not interrupting. You're not interrupting anything. 973 00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:49,522 So this is this is Daniel. This is Mikey. We went to college together. 974 00:45:49,640 --> 00:45:50,926 Guys, Ellie. 975 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,843 Daniel is a manipulative idiot. 976 00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:55,048 - And Mikey has an orange dick. - Hi. 977 00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:56,246 Really, dude? 978 00:45:56,320 --> 00:45:57,765 That's really good to know. 979 00:45:57,840 --> 00:46:00,525 I brought scotch. I don't know if you guys drink scotch. 980 00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:02,086 She brought scotch? 981 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:03,161 You should try it. 982 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,001 Let's try it. 983 00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:06,650 What are you guys playing? 984 00:46:06,720 --> 00:46:08,722 - A little Xbox. - Can I play? 985 00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:16,201 Yeah. 986 00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:46,728 Apparently, her ex-boyfriend played a lot of Halo. 987 00:46:48,240 --> 00:46:51,050 You know what? It's late. I gotta go. I gotta go to West Side. 988 00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:53,640 No, you're not. We're not letting you. No. We're not letting you go. 989 00:46:53,720 --> 00:46:55,324 I promise you we get funnier. 990 00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,529 But tonight is Mikey's night. You know, I can feel it. 991 00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:01,200 - I pray to God it is. - That's what I was telling you, too, baby. 992 00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:04,011 I forgot to tell you, it's my birthday coming up soon. 993 00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:05,127 Really? 994 00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:07,521 Usually people are more subtle about this. 995 00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:10,206 No, not like that. 996 00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:13,329 I'm going to throw myself a surprise birthday party. 997 00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:15,289 - You're throwing yourself a surprise party? - Yeah. 998 00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:16,407 - Well, I'm surprised. - Yeah, 999 00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:18,921 everybody's gonna get dressed up and decked out. 1000 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,001 And you should do the same. 1001 00:47:20,080 --> 00:47:21,809 - It's a dress-up party? - Absolutely, yeah. 1002 00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:23,922 - I'm so in. I love getting dressed up. - Sweet. 1003 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:25,365 He's actually giving her eye contact? 1004 00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:26,521 He's engaged. 1005 00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:27,806 - Bye. - Bye. 1006 00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:29,763 That's a great painting, by the way. 1007 00:47:29,840 --> 00:47:30,921 Thank you. 1008 00:47:40,800 --> 00:47:42,564 That's nice. it was beautiful, man. 1009 00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:44,449 - That was really nice. - That was quite nice. 1010 00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:46,325 And I do love her. I do. 1011 00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:47,771 I really like her. 1012 00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:50,525 I really liked it when she came by without telling anybody. 1013 00:47:50,600 --> 00:47:52,967 I really liked it when she kissed you on the cheek. 1014 00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:56,601 And I really like that you're about to lose this bet. 1015 00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:57,681 - Yep. - Jason, do you remember 1016 00:47:57,760 --> 00:47:59,400 when we said we're all gonna stay single? 1017 00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:00,970 Yeah, well, it looks like you're fucked. 1018 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:02,041 I'm not fucked. 1019 00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:03,121 You are so fucked! 1020 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:04,725 I'm not fucked. Let's go out. 1021 00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:12,643 - Hey, Chels! - Hey. Sorry, guys. 1022 00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:13,960 Can we get tequila shots, please? 1023 00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:15,121 Sotheby's kept me late. 1024 00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:16,440 Then they can take care of these drinks. 1025 00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:17,726 - They will? - Hey. 1026 00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:19,723 - It's good to see you. - You, too. 1027 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,368 - I'm still going. - That's not cool. 1028 00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:24,209 - All right cheers! - Cheers! 1029 00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:30,325 Chels, you're up. 1030 00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:32,326 Get it. 1031 00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:37,250 Oh, my God, I love your shoes. 1032 00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,800 Thank you. That's so sweet. 1033 00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:42,931 - That should've been me. - This is my friend, Daniel. 1034 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,844 Hi. 1035 00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:53,524 Nice to meet you. 1036 00:48:58,920 --> 00:49:00,081 Okay. 1037 00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:01,851 Okay. 1038 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,681 - What... - The fuck was that? 1039 00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:07,765 Seriously. That was god-awful. 1040 00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:08,961 That was horrendous. 1041 00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:10,087 I got nothing... I don't know. 1042 00:49:10,160 --> 00:49:12,367 Are you serious right now? You just dropped the ball. Seriously. 1043 00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:14,169 You just dropped the ball big time. 1044 00:49:14,240 --> 00:49:15,526 I'm having an off night. I don't know. 1045 00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:16,687 Having an off night? 1046 00:49:16,760 --> 00:49:18,250 Even Jordan has off nights. 1047 00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:21,050 Very ambitious. 1048 00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:50,890 What? What's wrong? 1049 00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:52,485 That teddy bear. 1050 00:49:52,560 --> 00:49:53,641 Mr. Wiggles? 1051 00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,524 Fuck, Mr. Wiggles. Yeah, Mr. Wiggles. 1052 00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:56,886 Because, I know, 1053 00:49:57,840 --> 00:49:59,560 your ex-boyfriend gave you that teddy bear. 1054 00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:01,728 And I said he was a pussy, which he was. 1055 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:03,040 And then you broke up with him. 1056 00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:05,162 But I was thinking about you guys together. 1057 00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:07,208 And him having sex with you. And then I thought about him naked. 1058 00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:09,248 - And you know. And all that stuff. - Oh, really? Yeah. 1059 00:50:09,360 --> 00:50:12,443 And my boner just started to wilt like warm lettuce. 1060 00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:15,161 - I'm gonna get rid of the teddy bear! - Thank you. 1061 00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:20,003 - Creeped me out. - Yeah. 1062 00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:23,807 Chelsea, I just really want you to know something. 1063 00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:25,370 And I wanted to be very clear. 1064 00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:28,523 You're not looking for anything serious right now? 1065 00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:33,442 Look, Daniel, this thing doesn't have to be a thing. 1066 00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:38,126 And if you want to go back to being friends, we can go back to being friends. 1067 00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:39,929 I don't want to go back to anything. 1068 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:41,843 That's what I was going to tell you. 1069 00:50:43,240 --> 00:50:45,242 I really like being here. 1070 00:50:49,720 --> 00:50:51,643 That's what I was going to say. 1071 00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:00,330 You working this weekend? 1072 00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:04,169 You should come by the hospital. 1073 00:51:04,240 --> 00:51:06,242 - Again. - Yeah. Again. 1074 00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:07,446 You'd like that, wouldn't you? 1075 00:51:07,520 --> 00:51:08,851 Yeah, I would. 1076 00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:12,009 Come by again and again and again. 1077 00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:16,921 Check this one out. 1078 00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:18,520 - That's impressive. - Very impressive. 1079 00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:19,846 Something for the two of you? 1080 00:51:20,160 --> 00:51:21,400 What's up, man? 1081 00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:22,891 Something for the two of you? 1082 00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:26,760 Oh, no, no, no. We're not gay, man. 1083 00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:28,649 - And we're just... - We just need a giant strap-on dildo. 1084 00:51:28,720 --> 00:51:31,405 Which I know sounds a little gay. But it's for a costume. 1085 00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:34,811 It's right here. Right in front of you. 1086 00:51:35,360 --> 00:51:37,203 - Wait. I have a serious question for you. - Yeah. 1087 00:51:37,320 --> 00:51:38,606 Think. 1088 00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,762 If you were gay, would you date me? 1089 00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:42,080 Definitely not. 1090 00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:43,361 - What? - What? 1091 00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:44,965 I would not date you, Jason. 1092 00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:47,845 - Why? - Because you're not my type. 1093 00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:49,080 What the fuck does that mean? 1094 00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:50,201 What? Are you offended? 1095 00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:51,520 I'm completely offended. 1096 00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:52,886 Deal with it. 1097 00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:56,328 You'd gay date me. You know you would. 1098 00:51:56,400 --> 00:51:58,528 Honestly, if were to have sex with you, Jason, 1099 00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:00,284 which apparently you really want, 1100 00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:02,567 you would probably be like top three hottest chicks 1101 00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:03,727 I've ever had sex with. 1102 00:52:03,800 --> 00:52:05,450 That's actually true. 1103 00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:06,851 Man, how much are these? 1104 00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:08,763 For you? $75. 1105 00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,241 For me? 'Cause we're such good friends? 1106 00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:14,448 These are all dishwasher safe. 1107 00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:16,330 I don't think you should go to this party, man. 1108 00:52:16,400 --> 00:52:18,289 Dude, I can go to the party. It's gonna be fun. 1109 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:19,361 $65. 1110 00:52:19,440 --> 00:52:21,920 Dude, who the fuck are you negotiating with right now? 1111 00:52:23,240 --> 00:52:24,446 $60. 1112 00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:28,840 Okay. Look. I'm telling you, man. This party is a road to a relationship. 1113 00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:32,168 And that road is paved with responsibility and lack of selfishness. 1114 00:52:32,240 --> 00:52:34,402 And what the fuck am I holding right now? What is this? 1115 00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:35,606 I have no idea. 1116 00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:39,521 Clever. 1117 00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:42,244 It comes with an extra balloon. 1118 00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:43,685 Why would I need an extra balloon? 1119 00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:45,444 - In case it pops. - Why would it pop? 1120 00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:48,130 If you try too hard. 1121 00:52:50,240 --> 00:52:51,401 What? 1122 00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:19,205 Sick cock, bro. 1123 00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:20,646 Thanks. 1124 00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:24,407 What's up? 1125 00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:32,161 - Hey. - Yeah. 1126 00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:33,805 Happy birthday! 1127 00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:37,206 Jason? What are you wearing? 1128 00:53:37,280 --> 00:53:39,647 Rock out with my cock out. 1129 00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:42,482 It's not my real cock, though. 1130 00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,448 - Clearly. - Yeah. 1131 00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:48,849 So it's a different kind of dress-up party? 1132 00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:49,887 Yeah. 1133 00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:54,329 This is a classic case of miscommunication. 1134 00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:56,761 - It's really... It's just a classic. - Yeah. 1135 00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:06,684 These are my parents. 1136 00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:09,521 My mom, Jodie, and my dad, Bill. 1137 00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:10,766 Holy shit. 1138 00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:12,161 This is Jason. 1139 00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:14,610 I'm sorry. Hi. 1140 00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:16,444 I'm just gonna pretend that this isn't happening. Hi. 1141 00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:17,931 - Hello. - Hi. I'm Jason. 1142 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:18,967 Hi. 1143 00:54:19,040 --> 00:54:20,371 - Bill. - Jason. Nice to meet you. 1144 00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:22,522 - Oh, goodness. - That should not have happened. 1145 00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,165 That shouldn't have happened. 1146 00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:25,321 Yeah. 1147 00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:29,445 It's a cocktail. 1148 00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:33,045 Shouldn't have said that. 1149 00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:40,004 I'm just gonna go and check the... 1150 00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:44,804 You know what? Just excuse me one sec. 1151 00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:13,765 Cheers! 1152 00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:22,251 No. I got to hand it to you, man. 1153 00:55:22,320 --> 00:55:23,651 I'm impressed by the way you hung in there. 1154 00:55:23,720 --> 00:55:26,007 I should have left. I definitely should have left. 1155 00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:27,844 I guess I'm a sucker for abuse. 1156 00:55:27,920 --> 00:55:29,285 You must be. 1157 00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:31,488 You know the hardest part about this costume? 1158 00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:34,689 It was seeing this thing next to my actual dick. 1159 00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:35,886 I can only imagine. 1160 00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:39,043 I didn't know whether to cry or go kill myself. 1161 00:55:39,520 --> 00:55:41,682 What are you laughing at, Bill? 1162 00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:44,764 I like this guy, Ell. 1163 00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:47,010 I like this guy. 1164 00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:50,284 Don't encourage him, Dad. 1165 00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:52,771 Don't encourage him. 1166 00:55:58,200 --> 00:55:59,611 So? 1167 00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:04,280 So? 1168 00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:09,966 What do Jason and Mikey think about this? 1169 00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:14,280 What do you mean? 1170 00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:17,280 Well, I mean, like, whatever we're doing. 1171 00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:19,851 What have you told them? 1172 00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:24,807 I mean, I told them everything. 1173 00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:27,450 Yeah. They're really happy for you. 1174 00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:30,806 - Sorry. They're happy for me? - They're happy for both of us. 1175 00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:33,645 They're just so happy for the two of us. 1176 00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:36,641 That's what they... Yeah, they're just really happy. 1177 00:56:36,720 --> 00:56:38,802 And Jason's taking it okay? 1178 00:56:39,240 --> 00:56:42,722 Yeah. I mean, he was a little angry at first, 1179 00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:45,883 but now he's in the fourth stage of grieving. 1180 00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:47,281 Denial? 1181 00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:49,010 Masturbation. 1182 00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:51,489 You know what's so cool? 1183 00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:53,927 When I'm being really serious and you're like, 1184 00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:56,401 "Hey, I'm Daniel. I'm, like, really funny." 1185 00:56:56,480 --> 00:56:58,921 - I don't sound anything like that. - You sound exactly like that. 1186 00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:00,525 "Hey, I'm Daniel." 1187 00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:02,284 You sound like you have peanut butter in your mouth. 1188 00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:04,124 - No. - What do you want me to say? 1189 00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:06,487 They think it's cool that I'm slumming it? 1190 00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:10,121 Slumdogging? 1191 00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:15,561 No. Honestly, I'm just happy you told them. 1192 00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:18,881 I know how you are with girls. 1193 00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:21,205 Or at least how you've been. 1194 00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:31,051 You know what? 1195 00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:32,885 Your dad... 1196 00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:35,800 Awesome. 1197 00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:40,881 Well, he likes you, too, even though you had that thing on. 1198 00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:43,804 Maybe that's why he liked me. 1199 00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:48,722 You know you don't have to clear up anything. 1200 00:57:48,800 --> 00:57:49,881 You don't have to help. 1201 00:57:49,960 --> 00:57:51,291 No, I want to. 1202 00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:53,721 You can't wake up to this. It's disgusting. 1203 00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:55,643 The apartment or you? 1204 00:57:57,360 --> 00:57:58,885 You've always hated me. 1205 00:57:58,960 --> 00:58:00,371 Just stop talking for one minute. 1206 00:58:00,440 --> 00:58:02,886 I know it's really hard, but you can just try. 1207 00:58:03,200 --> 00:58:04,531 You've always hated me. 1208 00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:42,011 I'm gonna take a shower. 1209 00:58:42,120 --> 00:58:43,645 - Okay. - Okay. 1210 00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:46,610 Last night was amazing. 1211 00:58:48,280 --> 00:58:49,611 And this morning. 1212 00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:53,603 Do you think you could grow old in New York? 1213 00:58:54,040 --> 00:58:56,008 I'm not gonna get old. 1214 00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:57,809 Getting old looks so tiring. 1215 00:58:57,880 --> 00:59:00,360 I know. You just, like, wake up in the morning 1216 00:59:00,440 --> 00:59:03,046 and have to figure out what to do in between meals. 1217 00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:04,485 I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. 1218 00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:08,650 I'm gonna get an old Jaguar XK-E, completely restored. 1219 00:59:08,720 --> 00:59:10,722 And then I'm gonna eat a ton of acid. 1220 00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:14,250 Like, so much acid that if you went to go see Cirque du Soleil, 1221 00:59:14,360 --> 00:59:16,328 you'd think you were in Connecticut. 1222 00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,280 And then I'm gonna speed up the West Side Highway, 1223 00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:23,563 as fast as a car can go, crash through the divider, 1224 00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:25,722 and careen off into the Hudson. 1225 00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:27,529 In slow-motion, of course. 1226 00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:29,011 Of course. 1227 00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:30,570 And that would be it. 1228 00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:33,007 My death, premeditated. 1229 00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:34,961 Okay. 1230 00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:37,042 I mean, here's what's actually gonna happen. 1231 00:59:37,160 --> 00:59:38,810 What? 1232 00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:41,167 You'll be 70 years old. 1233 00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:43,163 So you'll think you're going 150, 1234 00:59:43,240 --> 00:59:45,607 but actually you're going 25 at best, 15 at worst. 1235 00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:48,729 You can't see, so the acid you think you're eating 1236 00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:50,450 will actually be an errant Lipitor. 1237 00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:53,000 You're going to forget what you were doing in the car in the first place, 1238 00:59:53,080 --> 00:59:55,082 bump into the divider, wet yourself, ruin the car, 1239 00:59:55,160 --> 00:59:57,447 lose your license, and your dignity in one fell swoop. 1240 00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:00,205 And then you're gonna be ushered off into some rest home, 1241 01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:01,281 where you have to wake up in the mornings, 1242 01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:04,011 and figure out what the hell to do in between meals. 1243 01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:09,002 You know, you don't have to be right about everything all the time? 1244 01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:20,006 How's Ellie? 1245 01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:24,440 What do you mean? 1246 01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:25,521 What do you mean what do I mean? 1247 01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:27,642 Nothing. What are you talking about? 1248 01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:30,722 What are you talking about? So? What's up? 1249 01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:32,131 Nothing. Where's Chelsea? 1250 01:00:32,880 --> 01:00:33,927 What do you mean? 1251 01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,810 I mean, where is Chelsea is what I mean. 1252 01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:40,970 I gotta talk to you about Chelsea. 1253 01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:45,241 What's going on? 1254 01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:48,204 - Why are you so happy? - Yeah? 1255 01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:50,123 I can't be happy to see my two best friends? 1256 01:00:50,200 --> 01:00:51,804 That's not a happy-to-see-your-Mo-best-friends face. 1257 01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:53,086 No? 1258 01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:55,001 What is going on? 1259 01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:56,570 You're girl happy. 1260 01:00:56,640 --> 01:00:58,642 Look at me. Did you bone again? 1261 01:00:58,720 --> 01:00:59,926 You boned again, didn't you? 1262 01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:01,001 - No. What are you... - Did you? 1263 01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:03,481 No. That's ridiculous. Can you stop looking at me like that? 1264 01:01:03,560 --> 01:01:05,164 - You're a fucking animal! Yes, you did! - Did you? 1265 01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:06,605 Did you? 1266 01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:08,682 - Who was it? Glasses girl? - Was it? 1267 01:01:08,760 --> 01:01:10,250 - Glasses girl. - Was it? 1268 01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:14,325 Wow. Mikey. 1269 01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:16,320 It's the beginning of a beautiful roster, buddy. 1270 01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:17,686 - Yeah, man. - I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. 1271 01:01:17,760 --> 01:01:19,000 - Thank you. - I'm also proud of you. 1272 01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:20,605 Your phone is ringing. 1273 01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:24,809 - Are you going to answer that? - No. 1274 01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:27,531 You should. It might be a hot lonely girl looking to talk to me, 1275 01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:29,090 but she has your number. 1276 01:01:29,160 --> 01:01:30,446 - No. It's Ellie. - No, it's not. 1277 01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:33,603 I can read it. It's right there on the bar. It says, "Ellie." See that? 1278 01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:35,807 I'll get it later. 1279 01:01:35,920 --> 01:01:37,046 That's real mature. 1280 01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:39,401 Yeah. You should answer it, because she's your girlfriend. 1281 01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:41,761 It's... Yeah. My girlfriend. 1282 01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:42,966 Shit. She's calling again. 1283 01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:44,041 Back to back? 1284 01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:46,726 Answer that phone! She might need you to pick up diapers! 1285 01:01:46,800 --> 01:01:48,131 Or, like, tampons, or something like that. 1286 01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:49,770 I'm out with you guys. I'm not fucking answering it. 1287 01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:51,001 - Well, I'm gonna answer it. - I wish I wasn't. 1288 01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:54,721 Hey, Ellie! What's up? No, it's Daniel. It's Jason's best man. 1289 01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:56,211 - He just crossed a line. - It's his best man friend. 1290 01:01:56,280 --> 01:01:57,770 - Best man? What are you talking about? - Yeah. 1291 01:01:57,840 --> 01:01:59,604 All right. Here he is. Here he is. 1292 01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:01,170 - Hi. - Hi. 1293 01:02:01,240 --> 01:02:03,083 - Hello. - All strong arm-y. You wanna strong arm me? 1294 01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:04,491 He gets so angry. 1295 01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:06,651 Yeah. Hello? 1296 01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:08,320 I can hear you. 1297 01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:13,846 Ellie? 1298 01:02:16,320 --> 01:02:18,243 - Oh, my God. - What? What's up? 1299 01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:20,129 Her dad just died. 1300 01:02:21,880 --> 01:02:23,041 Her dad died. 1301 01:02:36,680 --> 01:02:38,762 You have to. It's not even a question. 1302 01:02:38,840 --> 01:02:39,921 You have to show up at that funeral. 1303 01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:42,048 If I set foot anywhere near that funeral, then we're dating. 1304 01:02:42,120 --> 01:02:43,087 Then don't go, dude. 1305 01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:45,561 What the fuck are you talking about? 1306 01:02:45,640 --> 01:02:48,086 If he doesn't want to go to the funeral, why should he go to the funeral? 1307 01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:50,328 Are you not a human being? Do you not have a soul? 1308 01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:51,811 Technically, she didn't even invite me. 1309 01:02:51,880 --> 01:02:54,565 Technically? She has to invite you to a funeral? 1310 01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:56,768 Yeah. What, he's supposed to show up and say, 1311 01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:59,764 "Hey. I'm Jason. I'm actually fucking the dead guy's daughter"? 1312 01:02:59,880 --> 01:03:02,770 - What're you talking about? - If anything, I'm just gonna be a distraction. 1313 01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:05,167 - It's like... - It's better than being an asshole. Okay? 1314 01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:06,601 It's better than being an asshole. 1315 01:03:16,720 --> 01:03:18,722 I know. I wish I could be home, too. 1316 01:03:19,880 --> 01:03:22,645 Next year. I promise. But happy Thanksgiving. 1317 01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:30,091 I miss you, too. 1318 01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,002 Tell Dad I say hello. 1319 01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:36,241 I love you, too. 1320 01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:39,651 Yeah, no. Take your time. Take your time. 1321 01:03:39,720 --> 01:03:43,611 I'll be here. Finishing up. Yeah. 1322 01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:48,529 Here. That's set. 1323 01:04:13,520 --> 01:04:14,521 Hey. 1324 01:04:14,600 --> 01:04:15,840 I'm so glad you came. 1325 01:04:15,920 --> 01:04:17,251 You look great. 1326 01:04:17,320 --> 01:04:19,084 You look great. Nice flowers. 1327 01:04:19,160 --> 01:04:21,731 Thank you. They're not for you. They're for your grandma. 1328 01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:23,643 - Grandma. - There you go. 1329 01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:26,326 I picked them myself on the way over. No big deal. 1330 01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:28,209 God. She is so sweet. 1331 01:04:28,280 --> 01:04:29,486 I see where you get your looks from. 1332 01:04:29,560 --> 01:04:30,600 - Shameless of you. - Yeah. 1333 01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:32,085 What? I'm not trying to have sex with your grandma. 1334 01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:33,161 Gross. 1335 01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:34,685 Unless you think she's into it. 1336 01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:36,364 - Don't think she's... - Then maybe I will. Grandma! 1337 01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:37,851 - Don't... He may be into it. - I'm just kidding. 1338 01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:38,887 All right. I'm just saying. 1339 01:04:38,960 --> 01:04:41,566 Like, in two generations I could be responsible for making you again. 1340 01:04:41,640 --> 01:04:42,880 - Okay. - It's called science. 1341 01:04:42,960 --> 01:04:44,450 It's called disgusting. 1342 01:04:45,960 --> 01:04:48,122 So are Mikey and Jason coming? 1343 01:04:48,200 --> 01:04:50,806 No, I don't think they're gonna make it this year. 1344 01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:57,168 Babe, I'm so sorry. I know I'm late. 1345 01:04:57,480 --> 01:04:59,608 - Traffic was awful. - It's a holiday. 1346 01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:00,841 Hi. 1347 01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:06,361 The turkey looks beautiful! 1348 01:05:06,440 --> 01:05:08,329 And you got the red I like. 1349 01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:10,764 I made everything just how you like it. 1350 01:05:10,840 --> 01:05:12,251 I know you did. 1351 01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:15,447 This red is so smooth. 1352 01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:18,091 I don't know. It feels a little off balance to me. 1353 01:05:18,160 --> 01:05:19,650 Yeah? What do you mean? 1354 01:05:20,560 --> 01:05:22,847 I don't know. Like something doesn't belong. 1355 01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:26,602 Maybe it needs to breathe a little. 1356 01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:28,045 It has, like, a chocolate undertone. 1357 01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:30,407 Maybe you're just reacting to that flavor. 1358 01:05:31,080 --> 01:05:34,482 Or maybe 'cause you're still fucking Harold. I can't tell. 1359 01:05:35,840 --> 01:05:37,604 You know his jacket is still in the closet? 1360 01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:39,523 It's a great jacket. Why's it in the fucking closet? 1361 01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:41,090 Can we please just enjoy this? 1362 01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:43,288 I've been trying to pretend that things haven't changed. 1363 01:05:43,360 --> 01:05:44,407 Things have changed. 1364 01:05:44,480 --> 01:05:45,925 Then what are we doing? 1365 01:05:47,040 --> 01:05:48,405 What are we doing? 1366 01:05:51,360 --> 01:05:53,442 We're having fun. I don't know. 1367 01:05:53,520 --> 01:05:54,885 "I don't know"? 1368 01:05:57,080 --> 01:05:58,081 That's it? 1369 01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:00,610 "I don't know"? 1370 01:06:02,360 --> 01:06:03,885 We had everything we wanted. 1371 01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:05,485 A great apartment. A great job. 1372 01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:07,210 You're making partner in a year. I'm in the ER. 1373 01:06:07,280 --> 01:06:08,406 We checked each other's boxes! 1374 01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:10,164 Why didn't we ever talk about kids? 1375 01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:16,521 It's because neither of us saw that future and you know that's true. 1376 01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:27,211 Maybe I should go. 1377 01:06:50,160 --> 01:06:51,924 I just need to hear you say it. 1378 01:06:53,640 --> 01:06:54,926 Just say it. 1379 01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:05,602 I don't love you anymore. 1380 01:07:28,160 --> 01:07:30,766 So, I said to Paul, after our first lunch downtown, 1381 01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:33,286 I thought you two would be perfect for one another. 1382 01:07:33,400 --> 01:07:34,401 Mom. 1383 01:07:34,480 --> 01:07:36,323 Susan, to be honest, I feel like I'd be perfect with anybody. 1384 01:07:36,400 --> 01:07:38,801 You know, for your daughter, it was just right place at the right time. 1385 01:07:38,880 --> 01:07:40,609 You know, like working at Google. 1386 01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:42,405 You've got a job at Google? 1387 01:07:42,640 --> 01:07:44,768 No. I was just... You know, that's not... 1388 01:07:44,840 --> 01:07:46,171 - Possible. - Right. 1389 01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:49,722 Daddy, Daniel was actually just telling Mom that he was too good for me. 1390 01:07:50,160 --> 01:07:51,924 - No. Daniel wasn't. - Was that right? 1391 01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:54,082 Now there, you're... Well, you're taking it out of context, sir. 1392 01:07:54,160 --> 01:07:56,208 It's the other way around. I'm very lucky. 1393 01:07:56,400 --> 01:08:00,200 Calm down, Daniel. We know you're not too good for Chelsea. 1394 01:08:00,840 --> 01:08:02,365 - Paul? - Dad? 1395 01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:04,727 And well, we are very happy to have you here. 1396 01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:07,610 I've got 3 grand on the Cowboys. I could use a drinking buddy. 1397 01:08:07,920 --> 01:08:09,490 Yeah, I'd love a drink right now. 1398 01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:11,765 - Let's get a drink! - Okay, great. 1399 01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:14,685 You scared them away. 1400 01:08:45,280 --> 01:08:46,406 Thanks. 1401 01:09:08,760 --> 01:09:09,886 What? 1402 01:09:24,240 --> 01:09:28,165 I have wanted to rip your clothes off ever since you walked into this party. 1403 01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:31,562 Oh, my God, Grandma! Your hands smell like stuffing! 1404 01:09:36,840 --> 01:09:39,411 Wait, wait. I don't know. Should we do this right now? 1405 01:09:39,480 --> 01:09:40,811 What, you're gonna say no to sex? 1406 01:09:40,880 --> 01:09:42,320 No. I love sex. I love sex with you. 1407 01:09:42,360 --> 01:09:45,523 But I'm saying, like, 'cause your family's out there and stuff. 1408 01:09:45,600 --> 01:09:46,840 And your dad is kind of... 1409 01:09:46,920 --> 01:09:50,163 You know what? Maybe stop being such a pussy. 1410 01:09:52,120 --> 01:09:53,360 Okay. 1411 01:10:20,680 --> 01:10:22,364 Did you lock the door? 1412 01:10:22,480 --> 01:10:23,811 I think so. 1413 01:10:24,680 --> 01:10:26,489 You think so or you know so? 1414 01:10:26,560 --> 01:10:28,244 You came in after me. You should have locked it. 1415 01:10:28,320 --> 01:10:29,401 Quiet. 1416 01:10:33,360 --> 01:10:36,011 I think it's your grandma. She's coming for me. 1417 01:10:37,680 --> 01:10:39,728 I knew I shouldn't have given her those flowers. 1418 01:10:39,800 --> 01:10:41,484 She's coming for me. 1419 01:10:53,360 --> 01:10:55,044 Jesus. What the fuck? 1420 01:10:55,120 --> 01:10:56,121 - Okay. Hey. - Oh, my God! 1421 01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:58,441 - Hey, dude. - What the fuck are you doing in here? 1422 01:10:58,520 --> 01:10:59,601 Don't look at my fucking dick, man! 1423 01:10:59,680 --> 01:11:01,409 Oh, my God. You guys are fucking? 1424 01:11:01,480 --> 01:11:02,527 It doesn't mean what you think it means. 1425 01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:03,640 - It doesn't? - It doesn't? 1426 01:11:03,680 --> 01:11:04,920 No. It doesn't mean that. 1427 01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:06,968 What does our relationship mean to you, Daniel? 1428 01:11:07,040 --> 01:11:09,168 Relationship? You guys are in a relationship? 1429 01:11:09,240 --> 01:11:10,480 You didn't tell him? 1430 01:11:10,560 --> 01:11:12,289 You told me you told him! You fucking lied to me. 1431 01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:16,251 What I should have said in this situation was that I didn't. 1432 01:11:16,320 --> 01:11:17,446 - Of course. - I didn't tell him. 1433 01:11:17,520 --> 01:11:19,761 - Jesus Christ, Daniel. - We're not dating, okay? If that's what... 1434 01:11:19,840 --> 01:11:21,604 Oh, my God. Fuck you. 1435 01:11:22,200 --> 01:11:23,281 What the fuck? 1436 01:11:23,360 --> 01:11:24,441 - What the fuck? - What the fuck? 1437 01:11:24,520 --> 01:11:26,045 What the fuck is right! What are you doing here? 1438 01:11:26,120 --> 01:11:27,645 Jesus! Does no one in this house lock a door? 1439 01:11:27,760 --> 01:11:29,728 - Where are you coming from? - I was with Vera. 1440 01:11:29,840 --> 01:11:31,120 - What the fuck? - What the fuck? 1441 01:11:31,160 --> 01:11:32,127 Your ex-wife? 1442 01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:34,885 - Why were you with Vera? - 'Cause I was trying to work it out. 1443 01:11:34,960 --> 01:11:36,166 But it's over now. 1444 01:11:36,600 --> 01:11:37,965 - Oh, my God. - Hey, man. 1445 01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:39,885 - Do not hug me with no pants on. - Bring it here. 1446 01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:41,291 Do not hug me with no pants on. 1447 01:11:41,400 --> 01:11:43,004 You're right. Respect. Respect. 1448 01:11:43,080 --> 01:11:44,730 What were you doing trying to work it out with Vera? 1449 01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:47,326 Because that's what I do, Jason. I try to make things work. 1450 01:11:47,400 --> 01:11:48,640 But you wouldn't know anything about that 1451 01:11:48,720 --> 01:11:49,846 'cause you always playing shit safe. 1452 01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:51,046 No. Because we had a deal. 1453 01:11:51,160 --> 01:11:52,924 - We were staying single. - Wait. Single? 1454 01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:54,126 It's a long story. We'll talk about it later. 1455 01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:55,884 I didn't go to a funeral. You both lied to me 1456 01:11:55,960 --> 01:11:58,201 I did that for you. I did that for both of you. 1457 01:11:58,280 --> 01:12:00,328 Wait, wait, wait. You didn't do any of this shit for us. 1458 01:12:00,400 --> 01:12:01,765 You do everything for you. 1459 01:12:01,920 --> 01:12:03,604 You want us to be just like Jason. 1460 01:12:03,680 --> 01:12:06,809 And I can't think of anything I want more than to be nothing like you. 1461 01:12:06,880 --> 01:12:09,326 Your wife fucked some other dude and you're mad at me. 1462 01:12:09,400 --> 01:12:11,562 - Man. - You wanna say that again? 1463 01:12:11,680 --> 01:12:13,489 She might still be fucking this dude. 1464 01:12:13,720 --> 01:12:16,200 Stop it. You guys, stop it! Get the fuck out! 1465 01:12:16,280 --> 01:12:17,281 Stop. Come on, man. 1466 01:12:17,400 --> 01:12:18,845 - Your dick is touching me, man! - I'm sorry. 1467 01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:20,729 You know what? Fuck you guys! 1468 01:12:20,800 --> 01:12:23,644 I can go back to my life! My roster, my fun! 1469 01:12:23,720 --> 01:12:25,927 All my shit! And do it without you! 1470 01:12:26,000 --> 01:12:29,163 Okay? We weren't getting into relationships! That was the deal! 1471 01:12:30,080 --> 01:12:31,366 It really wasn't about anything other than 1472 01:12:31,440 --> 01:12:34,171 having my two best friends and I back together again. 1473 01:12:34,240 --> 01:12:35,401 That was it. 1474 01:12:35,480 --> 01:12:37,323 Now look at the shit you guys are in! 1475 01:12:37,680 --> 01:12:39,125 You're a sad man. 1476 01:12:40,120 --> 01:12:42,122 Yeah. Fuck you, Mikey. 1477 01:12:44,520 --> 01:12:45,521 Wow. 1478 01:12:47,720 --> 01:12:49,324 Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. 1479 01:12:49,400 --> 01:12:51,289 Such a special time of year. 1480 01:14:15,600 --> 01:14:16,726 Ellie? 1481 01:14:17,200 --> 01:14:19,601 Hey. 1482 01:14:20,720 --> 01:14:22,051 Hey, look, I'd love to. 1483 01:14:22,120 --> 01:14:23,121 Love to what? 1484 01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:25,487 Get a coffee. Talk for a few hours. 1485 01:14:25,560 --> 01:14:27,801 - Get a drink after. Maybe some tequila? - Jason. 1486 01:14:27,880 --> 01:14:28,847 What? Is that not what you just said? 1487 01:14:28,920 --> 01:14:30,763 I could have sworn I just heard you say that you wanted to... 1488 01:14:30,840 --> 01:14:31,887 Jason. 1489 01:14:31,960 --> 01:14:33,041 What? 1490 01:14:41,800 --> 01:14:43,802 You weren't there for me. 1491 01:14:45,240 --> 01:14:48,403 On a day when I really, really needed you. 1492 01:14:52,360 --> 01:14:55,170 And being there for someone when they need you? 1493 01:14:55,240 --> 01:15:00,121 That's all relationships are, Jason. 1494 01:15:04,080 --> 01:15:05,411 That's all they are. 1495 01:16:13,400 --> 01:16:14,845 You Okay? 1496 01:16:17,160 --> 01:16:18,400 Yeah, I'm fine. 1497 01:16:26,480 --> 01:16:28,209 I just can't... 1498 01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:32,607 Can't stop thinking about what she's doing. 1499 01:16:33,520 --> 01:16:34,965 Like, when I'm not there. 1500 01:16:38,520 --> 01:16:40,921 I know what the couch looks like at her place. 1501 01:16:43,720 --> 01:16:49,204 I just can't stop imagining the different people that are all sitting on it. 1502 01:16:50,480 --> 01:16:51,811 A guy. 1503 01:16:53,040 --> 01:16:54,371 A different guy. 1504 01:16:55,120 --> 01:16:56,360 A new guy. 1505 01:16:58,440 --> 01:17:00,124 Just every guy but me. 1506 01:17:01,280 --> 01:17:02,964 Sitting on that couch. 1507 01:17:10,040 --> 01:17:13,123 Well, it sounds to me like you just need to get laid. 1508 01:17:21,880 --> 01:17:23,325 I know this is gonna sound crazy. 1509 01:17:23,400 --> 01:17:24,526 - Then don't say it. - No. 1510 01:17:24,600 --> 01:17:28,650 This is gonna sound even more crazy, given the new information. 1511 01:17:28,720 --> 01:17:29,960 No, listen. 1512 01:17:33,720 --> 01:17:35,051 I'm sorry. I can't do this. 1513 01:17:35,120 --> 01:17:36,451 Wow. What? 1514 01:17:39,920 --> 01:17:42,526 I'm just still getting over someone. 1515 01:17:42,920 --> 01:17:45,321 Come on. You're gonna go full-girl with it? 1516 01:17:46,320 --> 01:17:49,767 I think I made a terrible mistake. 1517 01:17:51,360 --> 01:17:55,331 I know I can be selfish, arrogant, distant and emotionally retarded. 1518 01:17:55,440 --> 01:17:56,965 I'm just gonna stop you right there because 1519 01:17:57,040 --> 01:18:01,045 whatever it is that you're doing right now is not what we do. 1520 01:18:01,120 --> 01:18:03,691 I just needed somebody to talk to. 1521 01:18:03,760 --> 01:18:05,000 Jason? 1522 01:18:05,440 --> 01:18:07,488 Don't you have any friends? 1523 01:18:39,280 --> 01:18:40,884 These actually do go together. 1524 01:18:41,960 --> 01:18:43,485 Didn't see that coming. 1525 01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:47,640 I'm sorry. 1526 01:18:48,720 --> 01:18:49,801 I know. 1527 01:18:55,960 --> 01:18:57,007 I just... 1528 01:18:57,080 --> 01:18:59,560 I don't know, to be honest, I'm having so much fun hanging out, you know, 1529 01:18:59,640 --> 01:19:02,166 and chasing girls. And doing the thing and... 1530 01:19:02,920 --> 01:19:04,365 - "Doing the thing"? - Yeah, I miss that. 1531 01:19:04,440 --> 01:19:06,204 And I'm not gonna be able to do that if I'm with Chelsea. 1532 01:19:06,280 --> 01:19:07,441 You know that. 1533 01:19:07,600 --> 01:19:08,761 I know. 1534 01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:10,086 Okay. 1535 01:19:12,400 --> 01:19:13,925 Go tell her how you feel. 1536 01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:16,207 - Go make a scene. - Yeah. 1537 01:19:16,280 --> 01:19:18,044 - Make a public spectacle. - Yeah. 1538 01:19:18,120 --> 01:19:20,088 Dude. Go big. Do it like the movies. 1539 01:19:20,160 --> 01:19:21,161 Like the movies. Yeah. 1540 01:19:21,240 --> 01:19:22,480 - Like Jerry Maguire. - I love that movie. 1541 01:19:22,560 --> 01:19:23,971 - I love that movie, man! - So good. 1542 01:19:24,040 --> 01:19:25,371 - "You had me at hello." - What? 1543 01:19:25,440 --> 01:19:26,885 - Don't ever do that again. Okay? - Sorry. 1544 01:19:26,960 --> 01:19:28,371 But tell me what you love about her, man! 1545 01:19:28,440 --> 01:19:29,965 - What do you love about her? - I love the way she laughs. 1546 01:19:30,040 --> 01:19:32,566 I like the way she fake laughs when she knows that I need it. 1547 01:19:32,640 --> 01:19:34,881 - Yes. - I love the way we fit together in bed. 1548 01:19:34,960 --> 01:19:37,008 Because we're the same height, our crotches line up perfectly. 1549 01:19:37,080 --> 01:19:38,081 That's really good. 1550 01:19:38,160 --> 01:19:39,400 I love that about it! 1551 01:19:39,480 --> 01:19:40,606 I mean, what are the chances, right? 1552 01:19:40,680 --> 01:19:43,923 I love the way that she looks in the morning. 1553 01:19:44,000 --> 01:19:45,809 Like at that exact moment when she wakes up, 1554 01:19:45,880 --> 01:19:47,803 and her eyes just open like two little butterflies. 1555 01:19:47,880 --> 01:19:49,166 - Two little... - I love that! 1556 01:19:49,240 --> 01:19:50,287 I love that! 1557 01:19:50,360 --> 01:19:51,646 - Yeah, man. - But I wouldn't go there. 1558 01:19:51,720 --> 01:19:53,290 - Yeah, I wouldn't do that. - Okay. 1559 01:19:53,360 --> 01:19:54,441 - So run and tell her that. - I'm gonna go. 1560 01:19:54,560 --> 01:19:56,130 Don't go all Notebook with it. But run and tell her that. 1561 01:19:56,200 --> 01:19:57,406 - I'm doing it. - Do it. 1562 01:19:57,520 --> 01:19:58,521 - I'm doing it. - Do it, man. 1563 01:19:58,600 --> 01:19:59,726 - I'm going. - Let's do it. 1564 01:19:59,800 --> 01:20:01,802 - I'm gonna do it! - Man, you're doing it! 1565 01:20:02,520 --> 01:20:04,090 Oh, shit! 1566 01:20:04,160 --> 01:20:05,844 Oh, my God! 1567 01:20:06,320 --> 01:20:07,845 - Dude? - Someone call 911! 1568 01:20:10,800 --> 01:20:14,407 You took, like, four bags of fluid. You were severely dehydrated. 1569 01:20:15,920 --> 01:20:17,729 You need to be housebroken. 1570 01:20:20,360 --> 01:20:23,489 I mean, what the hell were you doing? 1571 01:20:23,560 --> 01:20:24,766 I was running. 1572 01:20:24,880 --> 01:20:25,927 Why? 1573 01:20:26,000 --> 01:20:27,240 Because I... 1574 01:20:28,400 --> 01:20:29,561 I'm sorry. 1575 01:20:29,640 --> 01:20:32,281 I'm really, really sorry. I was running to tell you that I'm sorry. 1576 01:20:34,840 --> 01:20:37,320 And I should have told these guys that we were dating. 1577 01:20:39,120 --> 01:20:42,249 - From the beginning, I told him that. - We tried to convince him the whole time. 1578 01:20:42,320 --> 01:20:44,607 I want to date you, Chels. 1579 01:20:46,080 --> 01:20:48,560 Like... Like, really date you. 1580 01:20:50,280 --> 01:20:51,884 I want that, too. 1581 01:20:57,520 --> 01:20:59,124 You're such an idiot. 1582 01:21:08,520 --> 01:21:10,045 I'm out. 1583 01:21:17,800 --> 01:21:19,689 I was wondering if you'd call. 1584 01:21:19,760 --> 01:21:20,727 So? 1585 01:21:20,800 --> 01:21:22,484 I'd love to see you. 1586 01:21:22,560 --> 01:21:24,528 No, seriously, that took forever. 1587 01:21:26,720 --> 01:21:28,609 I'd love to see you again. 1588 01:21:29,800 --> 01:21:31,040 That's what I'm talking about. 1589 01:21:31,120 --> 01:21:33,282 Honestly? Who waits that long? 1590 01:21:33,360 --> 01:21:34,964 Yeah, that was my fault. 1591 01:22:01,880 --> 01:22:04,929 Fucking guy in the red hat. 1592 01:22:05,000 --> 01:22:06,650 Who the fuck are you? 1593 01:22:09,800 --> 01:22:11,848 Let's find more pictures of you. 1594 01:22:18,600 --> 01:22:19,647 Bingo. 1595 01:22:22,240 --> 01:22:24,208 Let's fucking look you up. 1596 01:22:26,240 --> 01:22:27,446 Bill. 1597 01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:31,924 What? William Matherson, restaurateur. 1598 01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:34,002 What a piece of shit this guy is. 1599 01:22:38,040 --> 01:22:40,088 Oh, my God. Dude. 1600 01:22:59,840 --> 01:23:01,600 I mean, honestly, I just find it disgusting. 1601 01:23:01,640 --> 01:23:03,449 The way that you guys embrace the single life. 1602 01:23:03,520 --> 01:23:05,010 The women? The carousing? 1603 01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:07,003 Carousing? Who are you? Cary Grant? 1604 01:23:07,080 --> 01:23:08,366 You've been in a relationship all of two minutes. 1605 01:23:08,440 --> 01:23:10,283 And he is already a righteous asshole. 1606 01:23:10,480 --> 01:23:12,050 Guys, look, I'm just in love and shit. 1607 01:23:12,120 --> 01:23:16,842 And I've had a lot of time to sit and realize how disgusting both of you are. 1608 01:23:16,920 --> 01:23:18,570 - Mostly you, Jason. - What about me? 1609 01:23:18,680 --> 01:23:20,364 You're the worst. You're pretty disgusting, too. 1610 01:23:20,440 --> 01:23:21,930 - You're gross. - I'm a killer. 1611 01:23:22,120 --> 01:23:24,168 What the... Did you... 1612 01:23:25,240 --> 01:23:27,971 - Did you post a funny video on Ellie's wall? - No. 1613 01:23:28,040 --> 01:23:31,567 Yes, you did, because I'm looking at it right now, Jason! 1614 01:23:31,640 --> 01:23:33,768 What is it, funny cute? Or is it just funny? 1615 01:23:33,840 --> 01:23:37,003 It is funny cute! Jason, you pussy! 1616 01:23:37,080 --> 01:23:38,764 You funny cute videoed her? 1617 01:23:38,840 --> 01:23:42,970 I... Yes. I guess. I don't freaking know... I don't know what I'm doing, man. 1618 01:23:43,080 --> 01:23:45,048 Hey, man. I think he loves her. 1619 01:23:45,120 --> 01:23:47,327 - I think that's love! - It sounds like love to me. 1620 01:23:47,400 --> 01:23:50,728 - I don't know, man. I don't know. Maybe I do. - What do you mean, you don't know? 1621 01:23:53,440 --> 01:23:54,885 - Well, then you have to tell her. - You have to. 1622 01:23:54,960 --> 01:23:56,405 - It'll be funny cute. - Maybe I should tell her. 1623 01:23:56,480 --> 01:23:59,484 Which is right up your alley. You love that shit. 1624 01:23:59,560 --> 01:24:00,800 Asshole. 1625 01:24:01,280 --> 01:24:03,009 I don't even know where to... 1626 01:24:03,080 --> 01:24:05,367 What's she doing? Let's stop by her place. Where's she at right now? 1627 01:24:05,440 --> 01:24:07,681 Third Tuesday of the month. She's at one of her readings. 1628 01:24:09,080 --> 01:24:10,764 That... That was some stalker shit. 1629 01:24:10,840 --> 01:24:12,046 That's creepy. 1630 01:24:12,120 --> 01:24:13,406 It's creepy that you know that. 1631 01:24:13,480 --> 01:24:16,051 - I mean, does anybody go? - No! Nobody ever goes. 1632 01:24:16,120 --> 01:24:17,406 - Nobody ever shows up? - Nobody. 1633 01:24:17,480 --> 01:24:19,801 Well, then, you are going to be the guy 1634 01:24:21,320 --> 01:24:23,209 who shows up. 1635 01:24:24,120 --> 01:24:27,727 "We pounded along, my father's hand on top of the wheel." 1636 01:24:28,600 --> 01:24:29,840 Nobody ever shows up. 1637 01:24:30,120 --> 01:24:31,121 Yeah. 1638 01:24:31,280 --> 01:24:34,204 "I watched the bats crackle and plunge against the sky. 1639 01:24:34,440 --> 01:24:35,930 "They never knew here. 1640 01:24:36,360 --> 01:24:39,125 "They only knew the echo of there." 1641 01:24:39,720 --> 01:24:40,721 Thank you. 1642 01:24:49,000 --> 01:24:50,525 Thank you, Ray Floreson. 1643 01:24:50,680 --> 01:24:51,681 I have to do something. 1644 01:24:51,760 --> 01:24:53,040 Does anybody have any questions? 1645 01:24:56,160 --> 01:24:57,844 - What should I do? - Something. 1646 01:25:00,080 --> 01:25:02,526 Yeah. I have something that I would like to read. 1647 01:25:04,880 --> 01:25:06,120 From my novel. 1648 01:25:06,440 --> 01:25:08,886 It's not really the kind of place where you can share from your own work. 1649 01:25:09,040 --> 01:25:11,202 Thank you very much. Honor to be here. 1650 01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:12,840 This is good. 1651 01:25:15,760 --> 01:25:16,886 Tough act to follow. 1652 01:25:17,560 --> 01:25:19,050 Then don't. 1653 01:25:20,280 --> 01:25:21,441 I'm a big fan of your work. 1654 01:25:21,600 --> 01:25:23,204 I'm so sorry. I... 1655 01:25:23,720 --> 01:25:24,960 No. Please. 1656 01:25:40,040 --> 01:25:42,646 And then the other guy asked to buy her a drink, 1657 01:25:42,800 --> 01:25:44,325 right as Jason walked up. 1658 01:25:44,840 --> 01:25:46,080 And so she asked that guy, 1659 01:25:47,400 --> 01:25:49,323 "What happens if I enjoy the drink? 1660 01:25:50,040 --> 01:25:51,246 "What happens then?" 1661 01:25:52,880 --> 01:25:55,804 And he pretended not to know the answer. So she told him. 1662 01:25:56,760 --> 01:25:58,762 She asked if they would play beer pong 1663 01:25:58,960 --> 01:26:00,371 in that shitty bar with his friends 1664 01:26:00,520 --> 01:26:03,205 until they headed back to his place in Murray Hill. 1665 01:26:03,920 --> 01:26:06,491 She asked if they'd have to listen to his roommate 1666 01:26:06,560 --> 01:26:09,769 fuck Hilary or Emily, or whatever her name was 1667 01:26:10,080 --> 01:26:11,445 till they fell asleep. 1668 01:26:12,600 --> 01:26:16,571 And she asked him if a year later, they'd still be there in that bar. 1669 01:26:17,920 --> 01:26:21,606 The only difference being that now he feels pressure to get married 1670 01:26:22,120 --> 01:26:25,488 and have kids, because he thinks that that's what she wants. 1671 01:26:27,280 --> 01:26:28,805 And then in the summers, 1672 01:26:29,280 --> 01:26:31,123 they would drive up to the shitty Hamptons. 1673 01:26:32,800 --> 01:26:35,087 To meet his shitty parents. 1674 01:26:35,360 --> 01:26:38,125 Wondering the entire ride if they'd think that she was pretty enough. 1675 01:26:39,280 --> 01:26:40,361 Smart. 1676 01:26:40,640 --> 01:26:43,166 Wondering the entire ride if they think she's smart enough. 1677 01:26:44,160 --> 01:26:45,366 Because no one was. 1678 01:26:45,520 --> 01:26:47,363 And no one ever will be. 1679 01:26:53,680 --> 01:26:55,364 And Jason knew that now. 1680 01:26:57,280 --> 01:27:01,490 And he would give anything to go back to that moment. 1681 01:27:03,560 --> 01:27:07,406 The moment where they first met. Before anything went wrong. 1682 01:27:08,720 --> 01:27:13,886 Before he didn't show up for her when she needed him most. 1683 01:27:15,000 --> 01:27:17,082 Before he understood that being there for somebody 1684 01:27:17,240 --> 01:27:20,608 when it's most difficult is really all that relationships are. 1685 01:27:22,320 --> 01:27:23,845 Jason knew that now. 1686 01:27:25,880 --> 01:27:30,010 And he was so sorry for what he had done. 1687 01:27:35,240 --> 01:27:37,561 But Jason also realized that in that moment, 1688 01:27:38,240 --> 01:27:41,403 he wasn't afraid, because he 1689 01:27:43,640 --> 01:27:45,483 thought she wasn't the one. 1690 01:27:47,840 --> 01:27:51,322 He was absolutely terrified, because he knew she was. 1691 01:27:55,560 --> 01:27:58,882 And if she could give him just one more chance, 1692 01:28:01,720 --> 01:28:03,563 just one more chance, 1693 01:28:06,320 --> 01:28:07,924 she knew where to find him. 1694 01:28:42,840 --> 01:28:46,003 It's 2:18 in the morning in the middle of February. 1695 01:28:46,840 --> 01:28:49,844 I've been sitting on a park bench for almost four hours. 1696 01:28:52,160 --> 01:28:54,401 I'm fucking freezing. 1697 01:28:55,920 --> 01:28:57,684 Why am I sitting here? 1698 01:28:58,840 --> 01:29:01,207 Why am I still sitting on this bench? 1699 01:29:37,160 --> 01:29:38,969 So? 1700 01:29:51,800 --> 01:29:53,802 I didn't know you could change colors! 1701 01:29:53,920 --> 01:29:54,921 Just stop. 1702 01:29:55,000 --> 01:29:57,048 Your dick looks like a sad giraffe. 1703 01:29:57,280 --> 01:29:59,203 - Your dick looks like a shaved hamster. - Stop. 1704 01:29:59,280 --> 01:30:00,281 Can you guys stop? 1705 01:30:00,600 --> 01:30:04,127 Your dick looks like my dick 1706 01:30:04,480 --> 01:30:08,007 if it were bigger and blacker. 1707 01:30:11,280 --> 01:30:12,281 Cut! 1708 01:30:13,200 --> 01:30:16,522 Did you friend that girl yet, Mikey? 1709 01:30:21,360 --> 01:30:22,691 Yeah. I told that assistant at Vogue 1710 01:30:22,760 --> 01:30:25,525 I couldn't hang out with her 'cause I was taking a shit. 1711 01:30:26,160 --> 01:30:28,845 Whoa. Look at that fucking crazy bruise on my arm. 1712 01:30:29,000 --> 01:30:30,490 You see that bruise? 1713 01:30:32,160 --> 01:30:33,810 It's from fucking acting, bro. 1714 01:30:33,880 --> 01:30:34,881 Yeah. 1715 01:30:35,000 --> 01:30:36,081 Fuck you up. 1716 01:30:36,320 --> 01:30:39,290 Wait, I'm fucking this up. Can we just do this one more time? 1717 01:30:39,840 --> 01:30:40,841 Let it go. 1718 01:30:41,000 --> 01:30:42,923 It's 'cause you're holding your imaginary dick the whole time. 1719 01:30:43,040 --> 01:30:45,088 That might be it. Can I just whip it out? 1720 01:30:45,160 --> 01:30:47,481 Mike, we all know you're a two-hander. So just, you know... 1721 01:30:47,560 --> 01:30:49,767 Oh, shit. He knows me. 1722 01:30:50,280 --> 01:30:53,284 That's not a nipple. That's not my... That's a fake. 1723 01:30:53,360 --> 01:30:54,805 That's a sticker. I don't have nipples like that. 1724 01:30:55,120 --> 01:30:57,930 So maybe I'm the best ever receiving blowjob... Ever. 1725 01:30:58,080 --> 01:31:00,731 At receiving. Fucking mother sucker. 1726 01:31:00,960 --> 01:31:04,009 So maybe I'm the best ever at receiving blow... 1727 01:31:04,400 --> 01:31:06,482 - There are no "evers" in the whole thing. - What? 1728 01:31:06,640 --> 01:31:08,290 Can we just write it on her fucking head? 1729 01:31:08,400 --> 01:31:09,970 Maybe I'm the best ever. 1730 01:31:10,040 --> 01:31:11,041 No. No "ever." 1731 01:31:11,160 --> 01:31:17,645 Probably gave me the best blowjob ever, in the recorded history of blowjobs. 1732 01:31:19,640 --> 01:31:22,644 "And she gave me perhaps the best blowjob in recorded history." 1733 01:31:22,920 --> 01:31:24,570 There's no "ever." 1734 01:31:27,080 --> 01:31:28,320 What are you doing? 1735 01:31:28,400 --> 01:31:29,890 I ain't doing nothing. 1736 01:31:30,000 --> 01:31:31,001 Yes, you are. 1737 01:31:31,080 --> 01:31:34,209 I promise. I'm acting satisfied. Okay? Jeez. 1738 01:31:34,360 --> 01:31:35,521 Oh, God. 1739 01:31:36,000 --> 01:31:37,001 "Doing the thing"? 1740 01:31:37,080 --> 01:31:39,686 Yeah, I miss that. And I'm not gonna be able to do that if I'm with Chelsea. 1741 01:31:39,760 --> 01:31:42,604 I'm gonna miss, like, sharing a mouth with you. 1742 01:31:45,160 --> 01:31:46,730 I miss that so much, man. 1743 01:31:49,440 --> 01:31:51,124 There's the paparazzi! 1744 01:31:51,320 --> 01:31:52,367 No way! 1745 01:31:53,840 --> 01:31:56,684 Oh, my God! They're not even pointed at Miles! 1746 01:31:56,920 --> 01:31:57,967 Asshole! 1747 01:31:58,120 --> 01:31:59,690 Nobody cares about me, bro! 1748 01:32:01,640 --> 01:32:03,961 I might be really fucked up. 1749 01:32:04,640 --> 01:32:08,690 But I think Omar from The Wire is sitting on our couch. 1750 01:32:13,240 --> 01:32:15,163 It's him! It's him! 1751 01:32:20,880 --> 01:32:21,881 Yes! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.moviesubtitles.org 130968

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