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1
00:00:01,169 --> 00:00:02,369
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
2
00:00:02,806 --> 00:00:04,836
♪ Yeeeah ♪
3
00:00:04,910 --> 00:00:07,980
Okay, Kevin.
Ready to hit the next one.
4
00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:10,289
Taylor, baby!
5
00:00:10,354 --> 00:00:12,764
OMG, Coolio!
What are you doing here?
6
00:00:12,826 --> 00:00:14,996
I'm recording down the hall.
What you working on?
7
00:00:15,063 --> 00:00:16,933
Still rerecording
my old albums.
8
00:00:17,001 --> 00:00:18,871
Now I'm hitting some demos.
Really?
9
00:00:18,938 --> 00:00:20,908
Yeah.
They own all my demos, too.
10
00:00:20,975 --> 00:00:23,245
Even songs about exes
I never released.
11
00:00:23,313 --> 00:00:26,693
Some of these were just too raw
and painful at the time,
12
00:00:26,754 --> 00:00:28,264
but I think now I'm ready.
13
00:00:28,323 --> 00:00:30,803
Well, let's hear it then.
Let's see what you got.
14
00:00:30,862 --> 00:00:32,002
Sure. Let's do it.
15
00:00:32,064 --> 00:00:34,774
Kevin,
give me the Guy Fieri track.
16
00:01:06,265 --> 00:01:07,835
You went out with Guy Fieri?
17
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:10,172
Yeah, I was so young back then.
18
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:11,880
I didn't know any better.
19
00:01:11,944 --> 00:01:13,314
How old is Guy Fieri?
20
00:01:13,380 --> 00:01:15,120
He's like your age.
21
00:01:15,183 --> 00:01:17,053
Cool. Cool. Alright.
22
00:01:17,121 --> 00:01:18,191
Hit me with another.
23
00:01:18,256 --> 00:01:20,856
Kevin...Situation.
24
00:01:51,456 --> 00:01:53,056
Okay. Wait, wait. OOkay.
25
00:01:53,126 --> 00:01:56,526
So, you dated "The Situation"
when he wasn't even famous.
26
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,110
You're not jealous, are you?
Pbht! Nah.
27
00:01:59,171 --> 00:02:01,041
I'm just learning so much
about your type.
28
00:02:01,109 --> 00:02:02,809
Because I love our friendship.
29
00:02:02,879 --> 00:02:04,079
Totally. No doubt.
30
00:02:04,148 --> 00:02:05,248
Okay.
31
00:02:05,317 --> 00:02:07,317
Now this one's really personal.
32
00:02:07,387 --> 00:02:08,817
I'll try to get through it.
33
00:02:08,891 --> 00:02:10,901
Kevin, El Chapo, please.
34
00:02:10,962 --> 00:02:12,232
Who?!
35
00:02:50,775 --> 00:02:53,745
Wait, you dated
the international drug lord
36
00:02:53,814 --> 00:02:54,854
El Chapo.
37
00:02:54,916 --> 00:02:56,746
I told you,
I was a lot younger back then.
38
00:02:56,820 --> 00:02:57,390
I didn't know what kind
of a selfcentered jerk he was.
39
00:02:57,454 --> 00:03:03,134
Kevin, let's get to Gritty.
40
00:03:03,199 --> 00:03:03,729
Who's that?!
41
00:03:03,801 --> 00:03:05,971
More of a what, actually.
42
00:03:40,608 --> 00:03:46,618
♪♪
43
00:03:46,687 --> 00:03:49,887
Oh, Mum, I can't believe
we're in California
44
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,360
and still unable to find them.
45
00:03:51,429 --> 00:03:52,669
You know it's Meghan
46
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:55,002
who won't let Harry
give us their address.
47
00:03:55,070 --> 00:03:58,280
I'm afraid all we can do is
keep looking in the areas...
48
00:03:58,343 --> 00:04:00,083
Meghan!
...where someone like Megan
49
00:04:00,146 --> 00:04:01,576
would live.
Meghan!
50
00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:03,390
Excuse me, have you seen Megan?
51
00:04:03,453 --> 00:04:05,193
Meghan Markle?
No?
52
00:04:05,256 --> 00:04:06,056
Pardon me.
53
00:04:06,125 --> 00:04:08,555
Have you seen a woman
of average looks
54
00:04:08,630 --> 00:04:11,600
married to a devastatingly
handsome ginger?
55
00:04:11,670 --> 00:04:14,070
Hello. Do you know where
Harry is being held?
56
00:04:14,141 --> 00:04:17,381
Have you heard of a famous
Black woman named Meghan.
57
00:04:17,447 --> 00:04:19,317
You mean Megan Thee Stallion?
58
00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:22,315
Ooh! She said it, not me.
59
00:04:22,391 --> 00:04:25,001
We're not so naive as to think
that you know Meghan
60
00:04:25,063 --> 00:04:26,433
just because you're black,
61
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:28,669
but perhaps one of your friends
knows her.
62
00:04:28,737 --> 00:04:33,907
If we're quiet enough, perhaps
we can hear her complaining.
63
00:04:33,981 --> 00:04:35,921
Look, Mum, my Google inquiry
64
00:04:35,985 --> 00:04:38,415
reveals that Megan played
the luggage handler
65
00:04:38,489 --> 00:04:41,659
on this television program
"Deal or No Deal,"
66
00:04:41,730 --> 00:04:44,200
which, I suspect,
is where she developed her taste
67
00:04:44,268 --> 00:04:48,338
for suitcases full of money that
didn't rightfully belong to her.
68
00:04:48,409 --> 00:04:51,279
Hello.
Greetings, Mr. Mandel.
69
00:04:51,348 --> 00:04:53,518
Random question.
[ Horns honk in distance ]
70
00:04:53,587 --> 00:04:56,057
Which way to Meghan?
Do you mean Meghan Markle?
71
00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:57,355
She doesn't live there.
72
00:04:57,427 --> 00:05:00,027
Do you know where else
we might find her?
73
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,840
We know not to bother checking
74
00:05:01,903 --> 00:05:06,753
any of the wellregarded
acting classes.
75
00:05:06,813 --> 00:05:08,383
[ Groans ]
76
00:05:08,449 --> 00:05:10,219
Do not fret, dear mother.
77
00:05:10,286 --> 00:05:12,986
Tomorrow's another day.
We shall find them.
78
00:05:13,059 --> 00:05:15,199
Yo, what up?
An intruder?
79
00:05:15,263 --> 00:05:16,133
There's my girl!
80
00:05:16,198 --> 00:05:17,898
We don't want any trouble.
81
00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:19,199
Lay down your weapon,
82
00:05:19,271 --> 00:05:21,541
and I shall crown you
Duke of Westminster.
83
00:05:21,610 --> 00:05:24,210
Relax, Charles.
This is Yeezy.
84
00:05:24,281 --> 00:05:27,021
He's a prominent figure
in the States,
85
00:05:27,087 --> 00:05:29,257
so I granted him a meeting.
86
00:05:29,324 --> 00:05:30,694
Um, Your Majesty,
87
00:05:30,761 --> 00:05:32,731
I want to offer
my deepest condolences
88
00:05:32,798 --> 00:05:35,138
on the untimely passing
of your husband.
89
00:05:35,203 --> 00:05:37,473
Sorry you dead, bro.
Dead?
90
00:05:37,542 --> 00:05:40,852
Look, you're newly single.
I'm newly single.
91
00:05:40,915 --> 00:05:43,245
We would
be the ultimate power couple.
92
00:05:43,319 --> 00:05:46,189
Good God, lad.
This woman is in mourning.
93
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:47,758
Was in mourning.
94
00:05:47,828 --> 00:05:49,728
That's what I'm talkin' about.
Mother...
95
00:05:49,799 --> 00:05:52,399
Charles, think of
the public relations.
96
00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:56,050
A torrid, mutually gratifying
affair with Mr. West
97
00:05:56,111 --> 00:05:59,521
would show the world
that we don't see color.
98
00:05:59,586 --> 00:06:01,156
Oh, dear.
Think about it!
99
00:06:01,222 --> 00:06:02,892
Imagine combining our brands.
100
00:06:02,959 --> 00:06:05,999
The Queen plus Yeezy.
Together, you get queasy.
101
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:09,735
Mumsie, you're not
seriously considering
102
00:06:09,806 --> 00:06:13,906
carrying on with this
this rapper.
103
00:06:13,981 --> 00:06:15,221
Bro!
I apologize.
104
00:06:15,283 --> 00:06:19,393
III shouldn't have assumed
your profession was rapping.
105
00:06:19,458 --> 00:06:21,598
What is it you do?
I'm a rapper.
106
00:06:21,663 --> 00:06:23,733
But I'm also a business genius,
107
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,740
a creative savant,
a designer, an architect,
108
00:06:27,808 --> 00:06:30,148
the Steve Jobs of Picassos...
109
00:06:30,213 --> 00:06:32,923
a night manager at...
110
00:06:32,985 --> 00:06:35,685
an amateur beekeeper,
and most recently,
111
00:06:35,758 --> 00:06:38,228
a world's greatest weekend dad!
112
00:06:38,296 --> 00:06:39,666
Uh, Mumsie.
113
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:42,912
Oh, yes, impressive.
Let's do this.
114
00:06:42,972 --> 00:06:45,542
Ahhh, yeah!
I will not allow it.
115
00:06:45,611 --> 00:06:49,421
Beg your pardon?
Who died and left you king?
116
00:06:49,484 --> 00:06:52,224
[ Chuckles ]
117
00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:53,730
[ Sighs ]
118
00:06:53,794 --> 00:06:55,764
♪♪
119
00:06:55,831 --> 00:06:57,841
Oh, Mother.
120
00:06:57,902 --> 00:07:02,012
♪♪
121
00:07:02,077 --> 00:07:04,747
We bringin' America and England
back together,
122
00:07:04,816 --> 00:07:07,346
just like they were
before the Vietnam War.
123
00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:09,290
Hmm.
She on money, Oprah.
124
00:07:09,358 --> 00:07:11,958
I could pay my alimony
with this face.
125
00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:14,330
What?
126
00:07:14,401 --> 00:07:18,481
♪♪
127
00:07:50,641 --> 00:07:51,981
Hello, Taylor.
128
00:07:52,043 --> 00:07:54,313
What are you doing here,
George?
129
00:07:54,381 --> 00:07:57,591
We couldn't help overhearing
your little diss tracks,
130
00:07:57,655 --> 00:08:00,985
and we thought we were entitled
to have our say.
131
00:08:01,061 --> 00:08:03,501
Sorry. "We"?
132
00:08:05,036 --> 00:08:08,276
Grichard, I thought
we left things in a good place.
133
00:08:08,342 --> 00:08:10,112
Don't let her suck you in,
Gritty.
134
00:08:10,179 --> 00:08:14,619
It's time to give her a taste
of her own medicine.
135
00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:48,489
♪ Ohhhhhh ♪
136
00:08:48,557 --> 00:08:50,087
Sweet!
137
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,670
[ Ding! ]
138
00:08:58,710 --> 00:09:00,080
[ Cellphone rings ]
139
00:09:00,146 --> 00:09:01,316
[ Cellphone chimes ]
140
00:09:01,381 --> 00:09:03,351
Bezos.
Hey, Zuck.
141
00:09:03,419 --> 00:09:05,289
How's it going?
Bad.
142
00:09:05,356 --> 00:09:07,126
Ad revenue's way down
143
00:09:07,193 --> 00:09:10,103
'cause of all the privacy
hysteria in this country.
144
00:09:10,166 --> 00:09:11,336
It's a sickness.
145
00:09:11,401 --> 00:09:13,371
When did everybody
get so paranoid?
146
00:09:13,439 --> 00:09:15,609
And, of course,
Congress jumped on it.
147
00:09:15,677 --> 00:09:16,877
What phonies?
148
00:09:16,946 --> 00:09:18,946
They're the ones
who don't respect privacy.
149
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,887
You know AOC bought
an Amazon pet cam
150
00:09:20,954 --> 00:09:22,664
to watch her dog
when she's at work.
151
00:09:22,725 --> 00:09:25,495
[ Scoffs ] Stay out
of your pet's business.
152
00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:28,474
Why is that so hard?
Right.
153
00:09:28,536 --> 00:09:30,506
And the Republicans
are just as bad.
154
00:09:30,574 --> 00:09:32,684
You know,
Ted Cruz once hovered the cursor
155
00:09:32,745 --> 00:09:35,645
over the like button
for an antiSemitic video,
156
00:09:35,717 --> 00:09:37,957
Didn't press like, but still...
157
00:09:38,022 --> 00:09:40,262
You guys know
when there's a hover.
158
00:09:40,326 --> 00:09:42,196
Yeah.
We do, too.
159
00:09:42,263 --> 00:09:43,933
Hello, dudes.
[ Laughs ]
160
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,710
Surprise!
Damn it, Elon.
161
00:09:46,773 --> 00:09:48,813
I've been listening
to your whole conversation.
162
00:09:48,877 --> 00:09:50,947
I just wanted to say
I totally agree.
163
00:09:51,014 --> 00:09:53,554
This privacy stuff is
a big nothing burger.
164
00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:54,720
Thank you!
165
00:09:54,789 --> 00:09:57,799
People like Nancy Pelosi need
to stop worrying about us
166
00:09:57,861 --> 00:10:01,101
and start working on her own
crumbling marriage.
167
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,968
What do you know, Elon?
168
00:10:03,038 --> 00:10:04,878
Nancy's cheating
on her husband.
169
00:10:04,942 --> 00:10:08,322
We track her Tesla driving
to a hot sheets notell motel
170
00:10:08,382 --> 00:10:11,522
after work every day.
171
00:10:11,589 --> 00:10:13,429
What motel?
172
00:10:13,492 --> 00:10:15,162
[ Crickets chirping ]
173
00:10:15,229 --> 00:10:21,609
♪♪
174
00:10:21,676 --> 00:10:22,606
Shh.
175
00:10:22,678 --> 00:10:23,878
That's her.
176
00:10:23,947 --> 00:10:26,017
[ Car door opens, shuts ]
177
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:31,634
♪♪
178
00:10:31,696 --> 00:10:37,236
♪♪
179
00:10:37,306 --> 00:10:39,176
[ Door creaks ]
180
00:10:39,244 --> 00:10:43,724
♪♪
181
00:10:43,787 --> 00:10:45,787
Voices, more than one.
182
00:10:45,857 --> 00:10:47,057
Caught red handed.
183
00:10:47,126 --> 00:10:49,196
Okay.
Let's confront her.
184
00:10:49,264 --> 00:10:50,974
Bust in there
and tell that twotimer
185
00:10:51,034 --> 00:10:52,814
to get off her high horse.
186
00:10:52,871 --> 00:10:55,441
Don't you dare criticize
our terms of service
187
00:10:55,510 --> 00:11:00,090
when you service men
in no uncertain terms.
188
00:11:02,156 --> 00:11:04,256
Surprise!
189
00:11:04,327 --> 00:11:07,767
Happy birthday!
190
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,805
What the...
How did
191
00:11:09,872 --> 00:11:12,682
How did you know?
Jeff, you were in on this?
192
00:11:12,744 --> 00:11:16,754
Everything that happened today
was all to get you to this room.
193
00:11:16,819 --> 00:11:18,389
Well, not just today.
194
00:11:18,455 --> 00:11:20,625
All those stupid
privacy hearings
195
00:11:20,694 --> 00:11:22,464
we had in Congress last year...
196
00:11:22,531 --> 00:11:25,171
Only had them to start
setting this up, buddy.
197
00:11:25,236 --> 00:11:28,676
So, everyone's been
planning this for months
198
00:11:28,743 --> 00:11:30,083
just to surprise me,
199
00:11:30,145 --> 00:11:32,275
to make my birthday special?
200
00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:34,190
That's right.
Uhhuh.
201
00:11:34,254 --> 00:11:35,464
Uhhuh.
202
00:11:35,523 --> 00:11:37,563
I'm so I'm sorry.
203
00:11:37,628 --> 00:11:40,998
I just I had no idea I was so...
204
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,537
so loved.
205
00:11:42,604 --> 00:11:43,774
[ Chuckles ] Well, you are.
206
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:45,980
And not just in tech
or Washington.
207
00:11:46,044 --> 00:11:47,884
Hollywood loves you, too, Mark!
208
00:11:47,948 --> 00:11:51,318
That goes double for
the music industry.
209
00:11:51,388 --> 00:11:53,258
Zuck rocks!
210
00:11:53,325 --> 00:11:54,825
Here's to Zuck!
211
00:11:54,895 --> 00:11:56,455
[ Indistinct conversations,
laughter ]
212
00:11:56,532 --> 00:11:58,602
Mark, Mark, over here.
213
00:11:58,670 --> 00:12:01,840
Sacha Baron Cohen?
Listen, man.
214
00:12:01,909 --> 00:12:03,949
It sucks I couldn't
be there in person,
215
00:12:04,013 --> 00:12:05,983
but I wanted to apologize
216
00:12:06,051 --> 00:12:08,421
for unfairly
criticizing Facebook.
217
00:12:08,488 --> 00:12:10,128
Yeah.
What's up with that?
218
00:12:10,192 --> 00:12:12,702
Well, [Sighs] it's a bit
embarrassing to admit it,
219
00:12:12,764 --> 00:12:15,704
but basically my shrink
got me to realize
220
00:12:15,770 --> 00:12:17,840
it's all rooted
to jealousy towards you.
221
00:12:17,908 --> 00:12:19,278
I mean,
when you really boil it down
222
00:12:19,344 --> 00:12:21,354
you're a genius
who's shaping the future,
223
00:12:21,414 --> 00:12:24,864
and I'm just a clown
who does just silly accents.
224
00:12:24,922 --> 00:12:26,362
Hey, Sacha,
225
00:12:26,424 --> 00:12:29,674
you know what I think about you
being so honest right now?
226
00:12:29,732 --> 00:12:31,172
What?
227
00:12:31,234 --> 00:12:33,274
Is nice!
228
00:12:33,338 --> 00:12:34,738
[ Laughter ]
229
00:12:34,808 --> 00:12:37,078
Good one, Mark.
230
00:12:37,146 --> 00:12:46,666
♪♪
231
00:12:46,732 --> 00:12:49,372
Get him, Nancy!
Get him, Nancy!
232
00:12:49,437 --> 00:12:50,937
[ Indistinct shouting ]
233
00:12:51,007 --> 00:12:53,077
[ Cheers and applause ]
234
00:12:53,145 --> 00:12:55,915
♪♪
235
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:59,794
You know, if I were
ever to have an affair,
236
00:12:59,858 --> 00:13:01,088
not that I would,
237
00:13:01,161 --> 00:13:03,571
I'd want it to be
with someone smart,
238
00:13:03,633 --> 00:13:06,373
handsome, and sexy
239
00:13:06,438 --> 00:13:09,438
someone like you, Mark.
240
00:13:09,511 --> 00:13:12,751
Well, it would be a shame to let
241
00:13:12,818 --> 00:13:17,228
this $50anight motel room
go to waste.
242
00:13:17,293 --> 00:13:25,883
♪♪
243
00:13:25,944 --> 00:13:27,784
Oh, Nancy.
244
00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,888
[ Moaning ]
245
00:13:31,889 --> 00:13:33,259
Great work, guys.
246
00:13:33,325 --> 00:13:35,525
This Oculus game is
really coming along nicely.
247
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:37,167
I was completely immersed.
248
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:40,243
What other games being made
just for me are almost ready?
249
00:13:40,305 --> 00:13:42,775
Uh...the one where
you hunt Tim Cook
250
00:13:42,844 --> 00:13:45,124
in postapocalyptic
San Francisco
251
00:13:45,182 --> 00:13:47,292
with the chain saw controller.
252
00:13:47,353 --> 00:13:49,193
Oh, nice.
253
00:13:49,257 --> 00:13:50,957
Okay.
Get the hell out of here, guys.
254
00:13:51,027 --> 00:13:53,467
I want to be alone
so I can finish up with Nancy.
255
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,503
[ Moaning ]
256
00:13:57,473 --> 00:14:00,983
What are you going to do to me
with that scarf?
257
00:14:01,047 --> 00:14:03,587
Alright. You got four more
auditions for the wife.
258
00:14:03,653 --> 00:14:05,923
This next one
is a great actress.
259
00:14:05,990 --> 00:14:08,660
She's won an Oscar,
two Tonys, and an Emmy.
260
00:14:08,729 --> 00:14:10,569
How old is she?
55.
261
00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:12,003
Well,
that's the same age as me.
262
00:14:12,069 --> 00:14:14,809
Won't that confuse people?!
What are we, twins?
263
00:14:14,875 --> 00:14:17,005
We talked about
making some changes
264
00:14:17,079 --> 00:14:18,949
for this new show, right?
265
00:14:21,054 --> 00:14:24,564
My name is Viola Davis.
266
00:14:24,628 --> 00:14:26,628
[ Chuckling ] Oh, wow!
267
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,769
I'm Jeff.
268
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,844
A pleasure to meet you,
Miss Davis.
269
00:14:29,905 --> 00:14:32,835
I am auditioning
for the role of Wife.
270
00:14:32,911 --> 00:14:35,251
Yeah.
And you've read the script.
271
00:14:35,315 --> 00:14:36,545
Wonderful.
272
00:14:36,619 --> 00:14:37,819
I see it as a woman
273
00:14:37,887 --> 00:14:40,427
who has been sidelined
her entire life,
274
00:14:40,492 --> 00:14:44,602
finally finding her voice
and taking a stand.
275
00:14:44,668 --> 00:14:45,898
I thought it was brilliant
276
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:48,880
to simply name
the character Wife
277
00:14:48,943 --> 00:14:50,183
to symbolize the fact
278
00:14:50,245 --> 00:14:52,575
that she has lost
her sense of identity.
279
00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:54,191
Well, we haven't really
come up with a name,
280
00:14:54,253 --> 00:14:55,963
but we we were gonna
name her Marsha.
281
00:14:56,024 --> 00:14:59,804
In this first scene,
you are cooking dinner.
282
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:01,535
Kids need help with homework.
283
00:15:01,602 --> 00:15:04,542
And Jeff, naturally,
is watching the Cubs game.
284
00:15:04,608 --> 00:15:06,108
And take it away.
285
00:15:06,177 --> 00:15:08,647
Did you pick up
the hamburger buns
286
00:15:08,716 --> 00:15:10,516
for the barbecue tomorrow?
287
00:15:10,586 --> 00:15:14,286
Your buns are the only ones
I need, honey. [ Laughs ]
288
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,000
I doubt that.
289
00:15:16,064 --> 00:15:19,244
Last time we tried
to check your weight,
290
00:15:19,303 --> 00:15:22,043
the screen on the bathroom scale
291
00:15:22,109 --> 00:15:25,149
just said "ouch."
292
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:27,515
Okay.
Um, let's see here.
293
00:15:27,587 --> 00:15:28,987
I'm sorry. Uh...
294
00:15:29,056 --> 00:15:32,196
Um, honey, it's a tie game.
295
00:15:32,262 --> 00:15:34,872
After this, I'm all yours.
Really?!
296
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:38,435
Can we plan our anniversary trip
for February?
297
00:15:38,509 --> 00:15:43,179
Or does that cut
into your winter hibernation?
298
00:15:43,251 --> 00:15:47,531
Yeah, well, I've got
big plans for February.
299
00:15:47,594 --> 00:15:50,234
For the last time,
300
00:15:50,298 --> 00:15:54,208
taking a shower does not count
301
00:15:54,273 --> 00:15:57,513
as a Valentine's Day present!
302
00:15:57,580 --> 00:16:00,890
Okay.
303
00:16:00,953 --> 00:16:02,563
♪♪
304
00:16:04,861 --> 00:16:06,161
Well, that was a great start.
305
00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:08,570
So why don't we jump to the part
306
00:16:08,636 --> 00:16:12,136
where the attractive nanny
that you hired just left
307
00:16:12,209 --> 00:16:14,919
and Jeff clearly liked her.
308
00:16:14,981 --> 00:16:18,051
And remember,
you're just lightly teasing him.
309
00:16:18,121 --> 00:16:19,521
You're just joking around.
310
00:16:19,591 --> 00:16:20,831
Whenever you're ready.
311
00:16:20,893 --> 00:16:24,633
Hey, she certainly seems
very qualified.
312
00:16:24,701 --> 00:16:28,071
Maybe next time
the nanny comes,
313
00:16:28,141 --> 00:16:30,711
try not to look at her ass
314
00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:33,920
like it's an Italian sub!
315
00:16:33,986 --> 00:16:35,816
Okay. That's
That's not it.
316
00:16:35,890 --> 00:16:38,330
I know you're not
a perfect man, Jeff,
317
00:16:38,394 --> 00:16:42,574
but all I've ever asked for
is loyalty.
318
00:16:42,637 --> 00:16:46,907
But I will never get that
from you, will I?
319
00:16:46,979 --> 00:16:51,049
I will always be invisible
to you!
320
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,990
You're invisible,
321
00:16:53,057 --> 00:16:56,027
unimportant little wife!
322
00:16:56,097 --> 00:17:00,307
Are you even listening to me,
Jeff?!
323
00:17:00,372 --> 00:17:02,582
Are you listening?!
Okay.
324
00:17:02,644 --> 00:17:04,954
That's a real interesting way
to go for it.
325
00:17:05,015 --> 00:17:07,945
The script inspired me
to improvise.
326
00:17:08,021 --> 00:17:09,961
Once again, Viola,
327
00:17:10,025 --> 00:17:12,525
these lines were not meant
to be that serious.
328
00:17:12,597 --> 00:17:15,397
You just a little annoyed
with Jeff,
329
00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:19,108
but he's ultimately
your sweet, dopey husband,
330
00:17:19,176 --> 00:17:21,276
and you love him.
I see.
331
00:17:21,347 --> 00:17:24,217
So, she has Stockholm Syndrome.
332
00:17:24,286 --> 00:17:28,226
So, she can't even see
how hopeless her life is.
333
00:17:28,294 --> 00:17:30,604
Okay.
Page eight.
334
00:17:30,666 --> 00:17:34,766
Your first line is,
"My niece got into college.
335
00:17:34,841 --> 00:17:36,551
You remember college, right?
336
00:17:36,612 --> 00:17:38,822
The best seven years
of your life."
337
00:17:38,882 --> 00:17:42,162
I am a husk of my former self!
338
00:17:42,222 --> 00:17:44,032
No, no, no, no, no.
339
00:17:44,093 --> 00:17:48,903
♪♪
340
00:17:48,969 --> 00:17:51,709
[ Whispering ] Pfizer.
341
00:17:53,478 --> 00:17:57,248
Pfizer.
342
00:17:58,589 --> 00:18:01,999
Efficacy.
343
00:18:02,062 --> 00:18:04,802
Efficacy.
344
00:18:06,037 --> 00:18:10,407
Maaask.
345
00:18:10,478 --> 00:18:16,688
Maaask.
346
00:18:22,970 --> 00:18:25,080
Why don't we do just
one more scene.
347
00:18:25,141 --> 00:18:27,311
It's the last scene
of the episode.
348
00:18:27,379 --> 00:18:29,049
It's been a busy day,
349
00:18:29,116 --> 00:18:31,686
and you finally have some time
to relax.
350
00:18:31,755 --> 00:18:34,325
Your line is,
"Time for some me time,
351
00:18:34,393 --> 00:18:37,603
which is what I call drinking
an entire bottle of Chardonnay
352
00:18:37,667 --> 00:18:40,537
and Googling photos
of Ryan Gosling."
353
00:18:40,606 --> 00:18:43,206
God.
That is so devastating.
354
00:18:43,277 --> 00:18:44,677
Okay, Viola.
355
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:46,148
Whenever you're ready.
356
00:18:46,217 --> 00:18:47,687
Finally.
357
00:18:47,754 --> 00:18:50,164
Time for some me time,
358
00:18:50,225 --> 00:18:52,055
which is what I call...
359
00:18:52,129 --> 00:18:56,039
drinking an entire bottle
of Chardonnay
360
00:18:56,103 --> 00:19:00,183
and Googling photos
of Ryan Gosling.
361
00:19:00,245 --> 00:19:02,445
Drinking to forget
362
00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:05,857
and looking at the photos
to escape.
363
00:19:05,923 --> 00:19:08,803
Trapped within these four walls,
364
00:19:08,862 --> 00:19:11,402
it's the only thing I can do.
365
00:19:11,467 --> 00:19:14,637
Am I even a woman anymore?!
366
00:19:14,707 --> 00:19:16,337
When you look at me,
367
00:19:16,410 --> 00:19:19,620
do I even register as a human?!
368
00:19:19,684 --> 00:19:23,094
Or do you just see
right past me?!
369
00:19:23,157 --> 00:19:25,257
Am I your wife?!
370
00:19:25,328 --> 00:19:28,098
Or merely a shadow?!
371
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,607
Answer me, Jeff!
372
00:19:30,673 --> 00:19:33,383
Look in my eyes!
373
00:19:33,444 --> 00:19:36,724
Look at me!
[ Glass shatters ]
374
00:19:36,785 --> 00:19:41,025
You're right, okay?!
You think this is easy for me?!
375
00:19:41,093 --> 00:19:43,103
[ Sobbing ] Waking up every day,
376
00:19:43,164 --> 00:19:45,904
knowing that I can't
satisfy you,
377
00:19:45,970 --> 00:19:47,840
knowing that
when you look at me,
378
00:19:47,907 --> 00:19:49,737
I'm one big joke.
379
00:19:49,811 --> 00:19:51,821
Do you understand?
380
00:19:51,882 --> 00:19:53,552
[ Sobbing ]
381
00:19:53,619 --> 00:19:56,629
How do we got this way?! How?!
382
00:19:56,691 --> 00:20:00,471
We used to be happy!
We used to be in love!
383
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,672
And I'm not forgetting
Cleveland!
384
00:20:02,737 --> 00:20:06,077
You always throw that
in my face.
385
00:20:06,143 --> 00:20:08,883
How much longer
will you punish me?!
386
00:20:08,949 --> 00:20:11,689
Until I get back the part of me
387
00:20:11,755 --> 00:20:13,555
that you took away!
388
00:20:13,625 --> 00:20:15,925
When I don't look
in the mirror anymore
389
00:20:15,996 --> 00:20:19,766
and see your disappointment!
390
00:20:24,313 --> 00:20:25,623
[ Door slams ]
391
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:26,483
Okay.
392
00:20:26,551 --> 00:20:28,091
Well, I want to thank you
393
00:20:28,154 --> 00:20:31,064
so very much for coming in,
Viola.
394
00:20:31,126 --> 00:20:33,356
Viola...
Okay, Jeff.
395
00:20:33,431 --> 00:20:35,671
Do you want to take a break
before we continue?
396
00:20:35,736 --> 00:20:37,706
No, we're done.
397
00:20:37,773 --> 00:20:40,783
♪♪
398
00:20:43,585 --> 00:20:46,255
So, big day on the podcast.
399
00:20:46,323 --> 00:20:49,503
I'm glad you're here
because it's time, right?
400
00:20:49,564 --> 00:20:51,404
It's time to clear the air.
401
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:52,767
Don't you feel that?
402
00:20:52,837 --> 00:20:56,177
III beg your pardon?
I know you remember.
403
00:20:56,243 --> 00:20:58,823
Okay. 35 years ago,
maybe 40, whatever.
404
00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:01,492
I was in London,
and I went to tour
405
00:21:01,554 --> 00:21:03,394
the Buckingham Palace thing.
406
00:21:03,457 --> 00:21:05,557
I bought a punk rock Tshirt,
407
00:21:05,629 --> 00:21:09,839
had your head and a
and, like, a stripper's body.
408
00:21:09,904 --> 00:21:12,184
Kind of You know,
punk rock. King's Road.
409
00:21:12,242 --> 00:21:15,822
Point being, I notice you two
were looking out the window,
410
00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:16,993
and you clearly saw me.
411
00:21:17,052 --> 00:21:18,322
You saw the Tshirt.
412
00:21:18,387 --> 00:21:19,617
There was a look,
413
00:21:19,690 --> 00:21:21,530
and it's kind of stuck with me,
414
00:21:21,594 --> 00:21:24,204
and I just wanted to apologize.
415
00:21:24,266 --> 00:21:25,936
It's been sitting with me,
and I just
416
00:21:26,003 --> 00:21:28,443
I wanted to make sure that,
you know, we're good.
417
00:21:28,508 --> 00:21:31,508
AAre we are we good?
Can Can we let it go?
418
00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:33,551
[ Whispering ] Who is this man?
419
00:21:33,618 --> 00:21:36,218
[ Whispering ] I don't know.
420
00:21:36,290 --> 00:21:38,160
♪♪
29347
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