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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:20,000 ® Arun's collections ® 1 00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:51,213 Narrator : There was a time, a time before cable, 2 00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:56,079 when the local anchorman reigned supreme, 3 00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:03,028 when people believed everything they heard on TV. 4 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:07,159 This was an age when only men were allowed to read the news. 5 00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:13,632 And in San Diego, one anchorman was more man than the rest. 6 00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:15,766 His name was Ron Burgundy. 7 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,911 He was like a god walking amongst mere mortals. 8 00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:25,316 He had a voice that could make a wolverine purr, 9 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:28,250 and suits so fine 10 00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,756 they made Sinatra look like a hobo. 11 00:01:30,790 --> 00:01:35,784 In other words, Ron Burgundy was the balls. 12 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:40,260 Mmm. I look good. 13 00:01:41,334 --> 00:01:44,235 I mean, really good. 14 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:48,969 Hey, everyone! Come and see how good I look! 15 00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:55,070 (vocalizing) 16 00:01:57,183 --> 00:02:00,619 Mm, ehh, mm. 17 00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:04,248 Ribs. I had ribs for lunch. That's why I'm doing this. 18 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:07,885 How now brown cow. How now brown cow. 19 00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:09,417 How now brown cow. 20 00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:13,023 How are you? You look awfully nice tonight. Hmm? 21 00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,227 Maybe don't wear a bra next time. 22 00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:20,763 No, I was talking to you. No, not her. 23 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,173 I don't know her name. What is it? 24 00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,700 Lanolin? 25 00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,539 La-lanolin? Like sheep's wool? 26 00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:32,676 Unique New York. 27 00:02:32,719 --> 00:02:34,550 Unique New York. 28 00:02:34,587 --> 00:02:36,555 Mm, I love Scotch. 29 00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:39,023 I love Scotch. Scotchy, Scotch, Scotch. 30 00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:40,548 Here it goes down. 31 00:02:40,593 --> 00:02:43,027 Down into my belly. Mm-mm-mm. 32 00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:45,326 The arsonist has oddly shaped feet. 33 00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:49,324 How much time? 30? 30 seconds? 34 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:52,600 - Man :You are on. - I'm on right now? 35 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,436 I don't believe you. 36 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:57,409 - ♪ Doo doo doo. ♪ - Ron! 37 00:02:57,443 --> 00:02:59,536 Oh, come on. Audrey. 38 00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:02,343 I look like hell. I got bags under my eyes. 39 00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:04,475 What's that? If you were a man, 40 00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,382 I'd punch you right in the mouth. 41 00:03:06,419 --> 00:03:08,353 That's bush. Bush league. 42 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:11,721 The human torch was denied a bank loan. 43 00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:15,489 You hear me? Audrey, look at me! 44 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:16,893 I'm sorry. 45 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,693 All right? I'm sorry. 46 00:03:18,731 --> 00:03:22,064 Ha ha! Ha ha ha ho! 47 00:03:22,101 --> 00:03:23,693 Ha ha ho. 48 00:03:23,736 --> 00:03:25,203 Ha oh! 49 00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,229 (Ron yelling) 50 00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:29,571 All right, we're on. 51 00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:31,543 Ready, Phil. 52 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,409 We're on in five, four... 53 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,607 Narrator : When the clock struck 6:00, 54 00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:38,549 it meant one thing for Ron Burgundy 55 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:41,053 and his news team: Go time. 56 00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:41,221 Announcer: Channel 4 News, 57 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,246 Announcer: Channel 4 News, 58 00:03:43,289 --> 00:03:46,122 with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor 59 00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,888 Ron Burgundy. 60 00:03:47,927 --> 00:03:49,656 Champ Kind, sports. 61 00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:50,890 Ooh! Hoo-hoo! 62 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:54,533 Brick Tamland, weather. 63 00:03:56,869 --> 00:03:59,702 And your reporter in the field, Brian Fantana. 64 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:06,003 It's Channel 4 News at 6:00. 65 00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:11,473 Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy, 66 00:04:11,517 --> 00:04:13,883 and this is what's happening in your world tonight. 67 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,356 A La Jolla man clings to life at a university hospital 68 00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:20,723 after being viciously attacked by a pack of wild dogs 69 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,455 in an abandoned pool. 70 00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:27,125 Hey, everybody! Shut the hell up! Ron Burgundy's on! 71 00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:30,067 Authorities are still uncertain as to why the man 72 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,628 - was loitering... - Ron Burgundy. 73 00:04:32,672 --> 00:04:34,731 Oh, my gosh! She said her first words! 74 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,743 Right now it's 82° in our fair city, 75 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:41,679 and compare that to 48° in the upper Northwest 76 00:04:41,714 --> 00:04:44,683 and 38° in the Middle East. 77 00:04:44,717 --> 00:04:47,117 Off the coast of Tampa Bay yesterday, 78 00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,553 one lucky cameraman happened to catch 79 00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:52,183 an unusual aquatic daredevil. 80 00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:55,854 What you're about to see is a Channel 4 News exclusive. 81 00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:58,659 His name is Nutty the Squirrel, 82 00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:00,757 and he's three years old. 83 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,167 How 'bout that? (laughing) 84 00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:08,037 That squirrel can water-ski. 85 00:05:09,542 --> 00:05:12,602 - Man, that's hilarious. - Yeah, that's good. 86 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,273 For all of us here at News Center 4, 87 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,782 I'm Ron Burgundy. 88 00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,681 You stay classy, San Diego. 89 00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:23,178 ALL : You stay classy, San Diego. 90 00:05:23,222 --> 00:05:26,282 Listen up. The ratings just came in for last month. 91 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,489 We are number one. We just grabbed every key demographic. 92 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,656 - Super-duper, gang! - Yeah! Yeah! 93 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:33,723 Super-duper! That's nice! 94 00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:35,358 Way to go! Neat-o, gang. 95 00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:37,096 - Brian :Yes! - Ron :Boy, Ed. 96 00:05:37,136 --> 00:05:39,331 That is good news. I gotta be honest. 97 00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:42,102 - Congrats, congrats. - That is good news! 98 00:05:42,141 --> 00:05:43,768 - Brian :All right! - Stick around. 99 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,005 Make sure these guys don't party too much. 100 00:05:46,045 --> 00:05:48,775 - They don't really ever listen to me. - Just get it done. 101 00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:48,881 Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention? 102 00:05:48,881 --> 00:05:52,749 Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention? 103 00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:55,117 I've just been handed an urgent 104 00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:58,123 and horrifying news story. 105 00:05:58,157 --> 00:06:01,126 I need all of you to stop what you're doing 106 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,559 and listen. 107 00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,825 Cannonball! 108 00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:08,600 (cheering) 109 00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:11,694 Narrator : Yes, these fellas were a real news team. 110 00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:15,401 Burgundy, of course, was the foundation, the rock. 111 00:06:15,441 --> 00:06:19,571 But each member brought their own special something to the equation. 112 00:06:19,612 --> 00:06:21,807 People call me the Bri-man. 113 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:24,214 I'm the stylish one of the group. 114 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,241 I know what you're asking yourself, 115 00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:29,550 and the answer is yes, I have a nickname for my penis. 116 00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,557 It's called the Octagon. 117 00:06:31,591 --> 00:06:33,559 But I also nicknamed my testes. 118 00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,561 My left one is James Westfall, 119 00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:38,223 and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. 120 00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:41,961 You ladies play your cards right, you might get to meet the whole gang. 121 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:44,231 Bang, boom, they were showing lasers 122 00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:46,670 every Friday night. 123 00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:50,107 Champ here. I'm all about havin' fun. 124 00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,976 You know, get a couple of cocktails in me, 125 00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:55,071 start a fire in someone's kitchen. 126 00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:57,639 Maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off. 127 00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,651 Anyway, I've become kind of famous 128 00:06:59,685 --> 00:07:02,677 for my signature catchphrase, "Whammy!" 129 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:05,953 As in, "Gene Tenace at the plate... 130 00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,927 and whammy!" 131 00:07:08,961 --> 00:07:10,292 Whammy! 132 00:07:15,668 --> 00:07:17,499 (sniffs) 133 00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:18,902 I'm Brick Tamland. 134 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,463 People seem to like me because I am polite 135 00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,372 and I'm rarely late. 136 00:07:23,409 --> 00:07:25,377 I like to eat ice cream, 137 00:07:25,411 --> 00:07:28,608 and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. 138 00:07:28,648 --> 00:07:30,912 Years later, a doctor will tell me 139 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,714 that I have an IQ of 48 140 00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:35,812 and am what some people call 141 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,823 "mentally retarded." 142 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,449 Ron :Hello! 143 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:42,154 - Whoo! Marco! - Polo! 144 00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:45,460 - Brian. - You having a good time? 145 00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:47,898 - I'm having a great time. - That makes two of us. 146 00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:49,629 You've gotta meet this girl. 147 00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:52,832 She used to be a Charger cheerleader, but she broke her pelvis. 148 00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:55,204 Sherri, meet Ron Burgundy. 149 00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:57,368 - Hey, Ron. - Hello. 150 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,708 - I've got a big story for you. - Mm-hmm. 151 00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:01,508 And it's right here. 152 00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:03,344 Well, hello. 153 00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:07,385 You pointed to your boobies. 154 00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,513 Oh, my God, you did! 155 00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:13,689 - Ron Burgundy? - Yes? 156 00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:17,218 I have had a crush on you since I was a little girl. 157 00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:18,821 Let's go somewhere. 158 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:22,028 I'm telling you, it don't get no better than this. 159 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:24,764 We've been coming to the same party for 12 years, 160 00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,897 and in no way is that depressing. 161 00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:31,573 Ahh. 162 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:33,772 ♪ Gonna make our own lightning ♪ 163 00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:37,271 ♪ Yeah, she got the way to move me, Cherry ♪ 164 00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,307 ♪ She got the way to groove me ♪ 165 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,580 ♪ Cherry, baby ♪ 166 00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:43,248 ♪ She got the way to move me ♪ 167 00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,450 ♪ She got the way to groove me... ♪ 168 00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:51,059 By the beard of Zeus! 169 00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:57,059 Excuse me. 170 00:08:58,838 --> 00:09:02,604 Ron, where you going? What, are you crazy? Ron! 171 00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:06,510 If you're coming down the baseline, you gotta take home plate from me! 172 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:10,038 So there I go, head first, boom! 173 00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:15,317 I've lost her. 174 00:09:25,331 --> 00:09:26,821 Ohh. 175 00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:35,333 Hello. 176 00:09:37,176 --> 00:09:38,302 Hello. 177 00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:41,871 Hope I'm not disturbing you, but, uh, 178 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,883 I saw you from across the party, and, uh, 179 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:48,546 I don't usually do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. 180 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:52,521 You have... 181 00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:55,049 an absolutely breathtaking... 182 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:56,493 heinie. 183 00:09:57,697 --> 00:09:59,892 I mean, that thing is good. 184 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,162 I want to be friends with it. 185 00:10:03,469 --> 00:10:06,495 Well, you certainly know how to compliment a woman. 186 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,507 Now, if you'll excuse me. 187 00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,736 Do you know who I am? 188 00:10:12,478 --> 00:10:14,503 No, I can't say that I do. 189 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:18,483 I don't know how to put this, 190 00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:21,680 but I'm kind of a big deal. 191 00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:23,154 Really? 192 00:10:23,189 --> 00:10:25,350 People know me. 193 00:10:25,391 --> 00:10:27,359 I've very happy for you. 194 00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:28,860 I'm very important. 195 00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:30,725 I have... 196 00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:32,958 many leather-bound books, 197 00:10:32,999 --> 00:10:35,433 and my apartment 198 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,868 smells of rich mahogany. 199 00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:41,737 L... I'm friends with Merlin Olsen, too. 200 00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:45,210 He comes over on occasion. 201 00:10:45,244 --> 00:10:47,576 That's stupid. 202 00:10:48,681 --> 00:10:52,117 No, no, that's... very exciting. 203 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:54,278 Listen, can l... 204 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,447 can I start over again? 205 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,457 Sure. 206 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,551 I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there. 207 00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,494 If you like it, you can take it. 208 00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:05,121 If you don't, send it right back. 209 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,189 Mm-hmm. 210 00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:09,201 I wanna be on you. 211 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:14,029 Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 212 00:11:14,073 --> 00:11:15,563 L... 213 00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:21,972 I wanna be on you. 214 00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:33,716 (humming) 215 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,996 Yoo-hoo! (clears throat) 216 00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,021 Baxter! 217 00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,624 Papa's home. 218 00:11:41,667 --> 00:11:43,760 There he is. There's my little man. 219 00:11:43,803 --> 00:11:46,067 - You're okay? - (barking) 220 00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:48,437 Of course I met a lady tonight. 221 00:11:48,474 --> 00:11:50,339 (growls) 222 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,503 This one was different. I have to be honest. 223 00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:55,043 Quite different. 224 00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:57,777 - (barking) - What... 225 00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:00,115 I'm lonely? I'm not lonely! 226 00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:03,588 I'm beloved by everyone in San Diego. 227 00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:09,755 Wow. 228 00:12:09,795 --> 00:12:12,730 You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. 229 00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:15,529 - (growls) - You're so wise. 230 00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:19,397 You're like a miniature Buddha 231 00:12:19,438 --> 00:12:21,167 covered in hair. 232 00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:23,368 - (barks) - Come again? 233 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,274 (barking) 234 00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:28,246 You know I don't speak Spanish. In English, please. 235 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,339 - (barks) - Huh? 236 00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:33,215 - (growling) - You pooped in the refrigerator? 237 00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:37,245 - (sneezes) - And you ate a whole wheel of cheese? 238 00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:39,154 How'd you do that? 239 00:12:39,191 --> 00:12:41,625 I'm not even mad. That's amazing. 240 00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:45,255 (laughing) I forgive you. 241 00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:48,027 What do you say we get you in your pj's and hit the hay? 242 00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:51,901 Bedtime. Okay, come on. Let's go. Come on. 243 00:13:03,048 --> 00:13:06,882 (snoring) 244 00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:09,217 Oh, that was one crazy party. 245 00:13:09,255 --> 00:13:12,019 I am hung over. 246 00:13:12,057 --> 00:13:14,719 Tell me about it. 247 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,921 I woke up this morning 248 00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,089 and I shit a squirrel. 249 00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:20,894 I mean it. Literally. 250 00:13:20,933 --> 00:13:24,494 Hell of it is, damn thing's still alive. 251 00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:28,699 So I got this shit-covered squirrel 252 00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:30,504 down there in the office. 253 00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:31,942 Don't know what to name it. 254 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:33,842 I'm sorry, Champ. 255 00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:35,710 I think I ate your chocolate squirrel. 256 00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:38,148 All right, guys. Let's focus up. 257 00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:40,709 Morning, everyone. 258 00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:43,483 Here are the stories we're going to be chasing today. 259 00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:45,149 It looks like Ling Wong, 260 00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:48,126 the rare panda at the San Diego Zoo, is pregnant. 261 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,787 This is a big one. 262 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,662 This could be the big story of the summer. 263 00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:55,531 Network is gonna be wanting plenty of coverage. 264 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:58,298 And speaking of network, word on the street is 265 00:13:58,337 --> 00:14:00,305 they're looking for a new anchor. 266 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,307 - So, Ron... - Huh? Network? 267 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,831 Are they here? 268 00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:11,747 A lot of you have been hearing the affiliates complaining 269 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:14,617 about a lack of diversity on the news team. 270 00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:23,223 What in the hell's diversity? 271 00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:25,594 (clears throat) Well, I could be wrong, 272 00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:29,123 but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship 273 00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:32,501 that was used during the Civil War era. 274 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:35,200 I would be surprised if the affiliates were concerned 275 00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:37,402 about the lack of an old wooden ship, 276 00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:39,707 but nice try. 277 00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:42,373 Diversity means that times are changing, 278 00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:44,644 and with that in mind... 279 00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:47,652 - Ron, are you paying attention? - Nope. 280 00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:49,813 - This concerns all of us. - Okay. 281 00:14:49,855 --> 00:14:53,586 Keeping that in mind, I'd like to introduce the latest addition 282 00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:55,787 to the KVWN News Team, 283 00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:58,490 directly from WYPN 284 00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:01,693 in Asheville, North Carolina, 285 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,726 Ms. Veronica Corningstone. 286 00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:07,739 - ♪ Who's that lady? ♪ - Hello. 287 00:15:07,773 --> 00:15:10,241 - ♪ Who's that lady... ♪ - Hello, everyone. 288 00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:12,710 - Oh! - I just want you all to know 289 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,975 that I look forward to contributing 290 00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:18,177 to this news station's already sterling reputation. 291 00:15:20,819 --> 00:15:23,185 I mean, come on, Ed! It's bullcrap! 292 00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:25,588 Don't get me wrong. I love the ladies. 293 00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:29,025 They rev my engine, but they don't belong in the newsroom! 294 00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:32,394 It is anchorman, not anchorlady! 295 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:35,958 - And that is a scientific fact! - Brian :Uh-huh. 296 00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:39,164 I don't know what we're yelling about! 297 00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:42,035 Ron, what do you think? 298 00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:44,099 She... sh... it's terrible! 299 00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:47,078 She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon! 300 00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:48,374 Mm-hmm. 301 00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:50,314 Loud noises! 302 00:15:51,417 --> 00:15:55,114 All right, everyone relax. She's not gonna take anyone's airtime. 303 00:15:55,154 --> 00:15:58,715 I read somewhere that their periods attract bears. 304 00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:01,521 Bears can smell the menstruation. 305 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:05,121 Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed? 306 00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:08,099 Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy. 307 00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,658 I will say one thing for her, Ed, 308 00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:13,797 she does have a nice, big old behind. 309 00:16:13,839 --> 00:16:17,036 I'd like to put some barbecue sauce on that butt 310 00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:19,704 and just bite, bite, bite, bite, munch, munch, munch! 311 00:16:19,745 --> 00:16:22,305 - Ah-whoo! - Stop it! Oh, Jeez. 312 00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:25,215 (barking, howling) 313 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:28,481 Look at the full-moon butt! (yapping) 314 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,488 Champ! Champ! Champ, Champ! 315 00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:34,116 Mr. Harken, I was just wondering 316 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,150 if you knew when my office would be ready. 317 00:16:36,195 --> 00:16:38,254 Well, that might take some time. 318 00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:41,562 For now, why don't you just grab a desk in the bullpen? 319 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,728 You can use my office! Then afterwards maybe we can go to lunch! 320 00:16:46,038 --> 00:16:47,505 Lower your voice, Ron. 321 00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:49,507 Mm-hmm! 322 00:16:49,541 --> 00:16:52,635 All right. Thank you, Mr. Harken. 323 00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:55,545 I'll go get my desk set up. 324 00:16:58,784 --> 00:17:00,342 (neck cracking) 325 00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:06,149 Oh, she is a saucy mama! I mean, I would... 326 00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,920 (Champ continues, indistinct) 327 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,326 (Veronica sighs) Here we go again. 328 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:12,353 Every station it's the same. 329 00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:14,958 Women ask me how I put up with it. 330 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:17,594 Well, the truth is, I don't really have a choice. 331 00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:19,536 This is definitely a man's world. 332 00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:21,801 But while they're laughing and grab-assing, 333 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,467 I'm chasing down leads 334 00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:26,205 and practicing my nonregional diction. 335 00:17:26,245 --> 00:17:29,214 Because the only way to win is to be the best. 336 00:17:29,248 --> 00:17:30,909 The very best. 337 00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:35,978 Ron: Touchy situation. 338 00:17:36,021 --> 00:17:39,457 I think the best thing to do with this Corningstone, 339 00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:42,119 to keep her in line, is bed her quick. 340 00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:45,562 Oh, that behind is driving me loco! 341 00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:48,088 I'm like a night wolf. (howling) 342 00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:50,567 Guys, take it easy. Just take it easy! 343 00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:54,163 - She's got feelings, too. - Oh, my God! 344 00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:55,696 Listen to Burgundy. 345 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,767 He's gone soft on us, like some schoolboy bitch. 346 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,779 You sound like a gay. 347 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:03,247 (laughing) 348 00:18:03,282 --> 00:18:04,806 Hey! Come on! 349 00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:07,683 It's me, Papa Burgundy, all right? 350 00:18:07,719 --> 00:18:11,314 As far as I'm concerned, Corningstone's fair game. 351 00:18:11,356 --> 00:18:14,018 Huh? Let the games begin! 352 00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:16,186 Hi-ohhh! 353 00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:18,662 There he is. There he is. 354 00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:20,688 I'm very aroused. 355 00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:26,168 (Champ laughing) What's this? 356 00:18:27,473 --> 00:18:29,464 Well, well, well. 357 00:18:31,710 --> 00:18:35,271 Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team. 358 00:18:35,314 --> 00:18:37,407 Hello, Wes Mantooth. 359 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:39,246 Hello, Evening News Team. 360 00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:40,774 Nice clothes, gentlemen. 361 00:18:40,819 --> 00:18:43,481 I didn't know the Salvation Army was having a sale. 362 00:18:43,522 --> 00:18:45,956 (laughs) 363 00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:48,152 Am I right? Look at these guys. 364 00:18:50,662 --> 00:18:54,063 Hey, where did you get those clothes? 365 00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:56,124 At the toilet store? 366 00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:01,870 What are you doing on our station's turg, Burgundy? 367 00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:04,341 You're about to get a serious beat-down. 368 00:19:04,376 --> 00:19:07,812 I will smash your face into a car windshield 369 00:19:07,846 --> 00:19:10,041 and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth, 370 00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:14,576 out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again! 371 00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:17,453 Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! You understand me? 372 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,980 - Dorothy Mantooth is a saint! - Ron :Hey. 373 00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:22,687 Leave the mothers out of this, all right? 374 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,155 It's unnecessary. 375 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,597 Besides, I'm sure Wes here 376 00:19:31,637 --> 00:19:36,097 is just upset over finishing second in the ratings again. 377 00:19:36,141 --> 00:19:37,904 Ooh! 378 00:19:37,943 --> 00:19:40,411 That's completely uncalled for, Burgundy. 379 00:19:40,445 --> 00:19:42,572 You know those rating systems are flawed. 380 00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:44,809 They don't take into account houses that have 381 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:48,445 more than two television sets and other things of that nature. 382 00:19:48,487 --> 00:19:51,786 I guess I have to take you at your word, 383 00:19:51,823 --> 00:19:53,313 Number Two. 384 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:55,053 (laughing) 385 00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:58,791 You have a great day, fellas. 386 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:00,559 We'll see you around the bend. 387 00:20:03,435 --> 00:20:05,528 Son of a bitch! 388 00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:08,699 Brian: Excusez-moi, Numero Two. 389 00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:13,406 Hey, Burgundy. 390 00:20:13,445 --> 00:20:15,936 You know those sample audiences aren't big enough! 391 00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:19,473 Stop hiding behind those phony numbers, Burgundy! I'm coming after you! 392 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:24,114 I hate you, Ron Burgundy. I hate you! 393 00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:27,284 You can't say one word? 394 00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:29,419 Even the guy who can't think says something! 395 00:20:29,461 --> 00:20:32,089 You guys just stand there? Come on! 396 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:37,425 Right, but I think my son is just going through a phase. 397 00:20:38,604 --> 00:20:40,299 I have no idea where 398 00:20:40,339 --> 00:20:43,172 he would have gotten ahold of German pornography. 399 00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,301 But you and I are mature adults. 400 00:20:45,344 --> 00:20:48,677 We've both seen our share of pornographic materials. 401 00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:50,181 Oh, you never have? 402 00:20:50,215 --> 00:20:52,911 Of course you haven't, how stupid of me. Neither have I. 403 00:20:52,951 --> 00:20:55,249 I was just speaking in generalities. 404 00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:59,656 I'll stop by the school a little later, Sister Margaret. Bye. 405 00:20:59,691 --> 00:21:02,660 Ed, she insisted on coming in. 406 00:21:02,694 --> 00:21:04,321 Mr. Harken, sir, 407 00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:07,332 I will not have my first story at this news station 408 00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:09,334 be about a cat fashion show. 409 00:21:09,368 --> 00:21:11,962 Miss Corningstone, ma'am, 410 00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:15,201 you will do the stories to which you are assigned. 411 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,107 Mr. Harken, I am a damn good journalist, 412 00:21:18,143 --> 00:21:21,340 and this cat show thing is grade-A baloney. 413 00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:24,372 It is not baloney. Now, go do your job, missy! 414 00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:26,646 It is baloney! 415 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:33,489 Hey, Ron, 416 00:21:33,525 --> 00:21:35,925 I'm gonna take a run at the new girl. 417 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,020 Let the games begin. (howls) 418 00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:41,191 Oh, Champ, Champ, we're not really gonna actually do that. 419 00:21:41,233 --> 00:21:43,428 - We were just flapping our gums. - Oh, yeah. 420 00:21:43,468 --> 00:21:44,765 You kill me, Burgundy. 421 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:49,900 Let me just grab this. Oh, sorry about that. 422 00:21:49,941 --> 00:21:52,136 - Whammy. - Hmm. 423 00:21:52,177 --> 00:21:54,475 - Uh, Champ? - Yeah. 424 00:21:54,513 --> 00:21:57,073 You're trying to touch my breasts, aren't you? 425 00:21:57,115 --> 00:22:00,846 What can I say? I like the way you're put together. 426 00:22:00,886 --> 00:22:03,514 What do you say we go out on a date? 427 00:22:03,555 --> 00:22:06,023 Have some chicken, maybe some sex. 428 00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:07,719 You know, see what happens? 429 00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:10,660 Oh, let me get this over here. 430 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,995 - (groans) - Sorry. 431 00:22:14,032 --> 00:22:16,398 Oh, there it is. 432 00:22:16,435 --> 00:22:18,630 I'll give this little cookie an hour 433 00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,729 before we're doing the no-pants dance. 434 00:22:20,772 --> 00:22:23,036 - (chuckles) - Time to musk up. 435 00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:27,276 Ron :Wow. 436 00:22:27,312 --> 00:22:30,179 It never ceases to amaze me. 437 00:22:30,215 --> 00:22:32,410 What cologne you gonna go with? 438 00:22:32,451 --> 00:22:34,009 London Gentleman, or... 439 00:22:34,052 --> 00:22:37,215 wait. No, no, no. Hold on. 440 00:22:37,255 --> 00:22:38,916 Blackbeard's Delight. 441 00:22:38,957 --> 00:22:41,687 No, she gets a special cologne. 442 00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:45,658 It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. 443 00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:49,656 - (snarling) - It's illegal in nine countries. 444 00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:52,169 Yep, it's made with bits of real panther. 445 00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:55,002 - So you know it's good. - It's quite pungent. 446 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,337 Oh yeah. 447 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,366 It's a formidable scent. 448 00:22:58,410 --> 00:23:01,504 It stings the nostrils. 449 00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,446 - In a good way. - Yep. 450 00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:06,280 I'll be honest with you. That smells like pure gasoline. 451 00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:08,718 They've done studies, you know. 452 00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:12,520 60% of the time, it works every time. 453 00:23:12,557 --> 00:23:14,491 That doesn't make sense. 454 00:23:14,526 --> 00:23:16,960 Well... 455 00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:19,395 let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr. 456 00:23:19,431 --> 00:23:21,160 (snarls) 457 00:23:24,569 --> 00:23:28,130 Hey, sweet cheeks. Got an invite I'd like to extend your way. 458 00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:33,537 My God. 459 00:23:33,578 --> 00:23:35,546 (sniffs) What is that smell? 460 00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:36,842 - (man coughs) - Oh! 461 00:23:36,882 --> 00:23:39,077 That's the smell of desire, milady. 462 00:23:39,117 --> 00:23:41,210 God, no, it smells like... 463 00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:44,552 like a used diaper filled with Indian food. 464 00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:46,557 Oh! Excuse me. 465 00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:48,559 Desire smells like that to some people. 466 00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:52,427 What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair! 467 00:23:52,464 --> 00:23:54,659 - (groaning) - (retching) 468 00:23:54,699 --> 00:23:56,826 - (woman shrieks) - (man yelling) 469 00:23:56,868 --> 00:23:58,961 It smells like Bigfoot's dick! 470 00:23:59,004 --> 00:24:00,972 - (woman screams) - Oh. 471 00:24:01,006 --> 00:24:02,871 Man: Oh, hell, that's rank! 472 00:24:02,908 --> 00:24:05,308 (fire alarm ringing) 473 00:24:05,343 --> 00:24:07,334 Oh, what's that smell? 474 00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:15,049 This is worse than the time the raccoon got in the copier. 475 00:24:15,086 --> 00:24:16,519 Yeah. 476 00:24:16,555 --> 00:24:18,182 It's very distracting. 477 00:24:18,223 --> 00:24:21,090 - When we get to the pet shop... - Cough! 478 00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:22,650 Look over here. 479 00:24:22,694 --> 00:24:24,594 Excuse me, Veronica. 480 00:24:24,629 --> 00:24:27,359 Yes, what is it, Brick? 481 00:24:27,399 --> 00:24:29,367 I would like to extend to you 482 00:24:29,401 --> 00:24:31,562 an invitation to the pants party. 483 00:24:32,604 --> 00:24:33,866 Excuse me? 484 00:24:33,905 --> 00:24:36,703 The party. The pants... 485 00:24:36,741 --> 00:24:39,574 With the pants. Party with pants? 486 00:24:39,611 --> 00:24:40,976 Brick, are you saying 487 00:24:41,012 --> 00:24:43,572 that there's a party in your pants and I'm invited? 488 00:24:43,615 --> 00:24:45,207 That's it. 489 00:24:45,250 --> 00:24:48,117 Hmm. Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick? 490 00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:50,053 No... yes, he did. 491 00:24:50,088 --> 00:24:54,752 Okay. No, I don't want to go to a party in your pants. 492 00:24:54,793 --> 00:24:56,454 Very well. Lan? 493 00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:58,463 Would you like to go to a party in my pants? 494 00:24:58,497 --> 00:25:00,328 No, Brick. 495 00:25:00,365 --> 00:25:02,356 All right. Let's go! 496 00:25:04,569 --> 00:25:08,673 - All right, now... - (loud crash) 497 00:25:08,673 --> 00:25:11,836 I'm telling you, she is a real ball-buster. 498 00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:13,970 A real ice queen. 499 00:25:14,012 --> 00:25:17,311 Mm. I just burned my tongue. 500 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,613 The only way to bag a classy lady 501 00:25:19,651 --> 00:25:22,484 is to give her two tickets to the gun show... 502 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:27,492 and see if she likes the goods. 503 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,619 (Ron grunts) 504 00:25:29,661 --> 00:25:31,652 1,001. 505 00:25:31,696 --> 00:25:35,655 1,002. (grunts) 506 00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,861 - Uh, Mr. Burgundy? - 1,003. 507 00:25:37,903 --> 00:25:40,269 Helen said that you needed to see me? 508 00:25:40,305 --> 00:25:41,636 Oh, Miss Corningstone. 509 00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:44,699 (grunts) I wasn't expecting company. 510 00:25:44,743 --> 00:25:47,837 (grunting) 511 00:25:47,879 --> 00:25:50,109 Just doing my workout. 512 00:25:50,148 --> 00:25:52,048 Tuesday's arms and back. 513 00:25:52,083 --> 00:25:55,314 - You asked me to come by, sir. - Oh, did I? 514 00:25:55,353 --> 00:25:56,786 Yes. 515 00:25:56,821 --> 00:25:58,652 (grunting) 516 00:25:58,690 --> 00:26:00,920 Oh, it's the deep burn! 517 00:26:00,959 --> 00:26:04,053 Oh, it's so deep. (grunts) 518 00:26:04,095 --> 00:26:07,121 I can barely lift my right arm 'cause I did so many. 519 00:26:07,165 --> 00:26:10,794 I don't know if you heard me counting. I did over 1,000. 520 00:26:10,835 --> 00:26:12,803 You have your ubulus muscle 521 00:26:12,837 --> 00:26:15,635 that connects to the upper dorsinus. 522 00:26:15,674 --> 00:26:17,972 It's boring, but it's part of my life. 523 00:26:18,009 --> 00:26:20,807 I'm just gonna grab this shirt, if you don't mind. 524 00:26:20,845 --> 00:26:24,178 Just watch out for the guns. They'll get you. 525 00:26:24,215 --> 00:26:25,876 You are pathetic. 526 00:26:25,917 --> 00:26:28,442 This has to be the feeblest 527 00:26:28,486 --> 00:26:31,046 pickup attempt that I have ever encountered. 528 00:26:31,089 --> 00:26:34,991 I expected it from the rest of them, Mr. Burgundy, but not from you. 529 00:26:35,026 --> 00:26:37,392 Wait a minute! L... pickup attempt? 530 00:26:37,429 --> 00:26:38,896 I'm offended. 531 00:26:38,930 --> 00:26:41,364 I have little time to get to the gym, 532 00:26:41,399 --> 00:26:43,959 so I have to sculpt my guns at the office. 533 00:26:44,002 --> 00:26:46,937 Oh, stop calling your arms "guns." 534 00:26:46,972 --> 00:26:48,940 Look. 535 00:26:48,974 --> 00:26:51,169 My plan was to ask you 536 00:26:51,209 --> 00:26:53,837 if I could squire you about town 537 00:26:53,878 --> 00:26:56,472 as one professional helping another professional, 538 00:26:56,514 --> 00:26:59,574 because I know what it's like to be lonely in a new city. 539 00:27:01,953 --> 00:27:04,012 - Really? - Yes. 540 00:27:04,055 --> 00:27:06,615 But now I am too hurt. 541 00:27:06,658 --> 00:27:09,320 And shocked and offended 542 00:27:09,361 --> 00:27:10,692 and... and hurt. 543 00:27:10,729 --> 00:27:12,594 I could do that. 544 00:27:12,631 --> 00:27:13,859 Really? 545 00:27:13,898 --> 00:27:15,763 Well, yes. 546 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,768 As a journalist, I should get to know 547 00:27:17,802 --> 00:27:19,736 the city that I'm covering. 548 00:27:19,771 --> 00:27:22,740 - But this is not a date. - No, of course not. 549 00:27:22,774 --> 00:27:25,470 - Strictly professional. - Wonderful. 550 00:27:25,510 --> 00:27:27,876 - Hmm. - Great. 551 00:27:29,681 --> 00:27:31,171 Shall I pick you up 552 00:27:31,216 --> 00:27:32,615 8:00? 553 00:27:34,886 --> 00:27:36,376 Mm, 9:00. 554 00:27:36,421 --> 00:27:38,082 (clears throat) 555 00:27:38,123 --> 00:27:39,556 Downstairs? 556 00:27:39,591 --> 00:27:42,560 Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection. 557 00:27:42,594 --> 00:27:44,585 Really? (laughs) 558 00:27:46,031 --> 00:27:48,556 Yes, I do. Um... 559 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,296 I'm sorry, it's the... 560 00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:53,702 - it's the pleats. - Mm. 561 00:27:53,738 --> 00:27:56,002 It's actually an optical illusion. 562 00:27:56,041 --> 00:27:58,009 It's the pattern on the pants. 563 00:27:58,043 --> 00:28:01,444 It's not flattering in the crotchal region. 564 00:28:01,479 --> 00:28:03,538 I'm actually taking them back right now. 565 00:28:03,581 --> 00:28:06,550 Taking them back to the pants store. 566 00:28:07,552 --> 00:28:09,850 Oh, this is awkward. 567 00:28:09,888 --> 00:28:11,583 I'm gonna walk... 568 00:28:11,623 --> 00:28:13,318 I'm gonna walk this situation off 569 00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:16,225 and I will see you later. Nothing to look at. 570 00:28:16,261 --> 00:28:18,286 Go back to work, everyone. 571 00:28:18,329 --> 00:28:20,297 Don't act like you're not impressed. 572 00:28:20,331 --> 00:28:21,923 Don't look at me right now. 573 00:28:21,966 --> 00:28:24,764 I'm walking around the office. 574 00:28:24,803 --> 00:28:26,771 My new walk. 575 00:28:26,805 --> 00:28:29,467 I have a situation right now I'm trying to walk off. 576 00:28:29,507 --> 00:28:31,338 Frame up two. 577 00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:34,311 - Let's go to Brian Fantana live... - Gimme a tighter one on two. 578 00:28:34,345 --> 00:28:36,711 ...with a Channel 4 News exclusive. 579 00:28:36,748 --> 00:28:38,079 Brian? 580 00:28:38,116 --> 00:28:40,482 Panda watch. The mood is tense. 581 00:28:40,518 --> 00:28:43,146 I have been on some serious, serious reports, 582 00:28:43,188 --> 00:28:44,815 but nothing like this. 583 00:28:44,856 --> 00:28:47,882 L... l... Ching... King is inside now. 584 00:28:47,926 --> 00:28:50,952 I tried to get an interview, but they said, "You can't. 585 00:28:50,995 --> 00:28:53,759 He's a live bear. He will literally rip your face off." 586 00:28:53,798 --> 00:28:56,790 Hey! You're making me look stupid! 587 00:28:56,835 --> 00:28:59,702 Get out here! Panda jerk! 588 00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:02,400 Great story. Compelling and rich. 589 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,305 (theme music plays) 590 00:29:04,342 --> 00:29:06,674 That's gonna do it for all of us at Channel 4 News. 591 00:29:06,711 --> 00:29:09,009 You stay classy, San Diego. 592 00:29:09,047 --> 00:29:11,038 I'm Ron Burgundy? 593 00:29:12,217 --> 00:29:15,948 Damn it! Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter? 594 00:29:15,987 --> 00:29:19,320 For the last time, anything you put on that prompter, 595 00:29:19,357 --> 00:29:20,722 Burgundy will read. 596 00:29:23,628 --> 00:29:26,290 Oh, God, this is a mistake. 597 00:29:26,331 --> 00:29:28,196 This is a mistake. 598 00:29:28,233 --> 00:29:31,361 He's very cute. Very cute. No, he's not. He's hairy. 599 00:29:31,402 --> 00:29:33,802 There she is! Veronica! 600 00:29:33,838 --> 00:29:36,306 My little China doll. 601 00:29:36,341 --> 00:29:38,241 I am full of it tonight. 602 00:29:38,276 --> 00:29:40,767 Oh, silly. Hi. 603 00:29:40,812 --> 00:29:42,871 You look ravishing. 604 00:29:42,914 --> 00:29:45,906 It truly is beauty and the beast. 605 00:29:45,950 --> 00:29:47,417 (chuckles) 606 00:29:47,452 --> 00:29:49,317 I might add a handsome beast at that. 607 00:29:49,354 --> 00:29:51,083 Are you ready for our rendezvous? 608 00:29:51,122 --> 00:29:52,749 It's not a date. 609 00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:55,419 No, strictly professional. 610 00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:58,020 Doesn't mean we can't have fun. 611 00:29:58,062 --> 00:29:59,757 - Shall we? - Yes. 612 00:30:04,402 --> 00:30:06,427 San Diego. 613 00:30:07,472 --> 00:30:09,440 Mm! Drink it in. 614 00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:11,442 It always goes down smooth. 615 00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:13,671 (both chuckle) 616 00:30:13,711 --> 00:30:15,679 What a beautiful view, Mr. Burgundy. 617 00:30:15,713 --> 00:30:19,114 I know. I love this city. It's a... 618 00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:20,811 it's a fact. 619 00:30:20,852 --> 00:30:23,150 It's the greatest city in the history of mankind. 620 00:30:23,188 --> 00:30:24,815 (laughs) 621 00:30:24,856 --> 00:30:28,223 Discovered by the Germans in 1904. 622 00:30:28,259 --> 00:30:31,422 They named it San Diago, 623 00:30:31,462 --> 00:30:35,523 which of course in German means a whale's vagina. 624 00:30:37,769 --> 00:30:40,670 N... no, there's no way that's correct. 625 00:30:45,109 --> 00:30:47,942 I'm sorry. I was trying to impress you. 626 00:30:47,979 --> 00:30:49,742 Oh. 627 00:30:49,781 --> 00:30:52,477 I don't know what it means. 628 00:30:52,517 --> 00:30:55,486 I'll be honest. I don't think anyone knows what it means anymore. 629 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:57,886 Scholars maintain that the translation was lost 630 00:30:57,922 --> 00:30:59,890 hundreds of years ago. 631 00:30:59,924 --> 00:31:02,324 Doesn't it mean Saint Diego? 632 00:31:03,461 --> 00:31:06,225 No. No. 633 00:31:06,264 --> 00:31:08,789 No, that's... that's what it means. 634 00:31:08,833 --> 00:31:10,164 Really. 635 00:31:10,201 --> 00:31:12,726 Well, agree to disagree. 636 00:31:17,108 --> 00:31:19,008 May I take your order? 637 00:31:19,043 --> 00:31:22,444 Yes, I am going to have three fingers of Glenlivet 638 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:25,347 with a little bit of pepper, and, uh, some cheese. 639 00:31:25,383 --> 00:31:27,283 Very good. 640 00:31:27,318 --> 00:31:29,183 A Manhattan, and kick the vermouth 641 00:31:29,220 --> 00:31:31,347 in the side with a pair of steel-toed boots. 642 00:31:31,389 --> 00:31:33,220 - Certainly. - Thank you, Scott. 643 00:31:33,258 --> 00:31:35,249 Thank you. 644 00:31:35,293 --> 00:31:37,887 Wow. Quite a drink order. 645 00:31:37,929 --> 00:31:41,126 Oh, well, when in Rome. (chuckles) 646 00:31:41,165 --> 00:31:42,689 Yes? 647 00:31:42,734 --> 00:31:44,599 Please, go on. 648 00:31:44,636 --> 00:31:48,128 Uh, do as the Romans do? 649 00:31:48,172 --> 00:31:49,867 It's an old expression. 650 00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:52,138 Oh! I've never heard of it. 651 00:31:52,176 --> 00:31:53,905 - Oh. - It's wonderful, though. 652 00:31:53,945 --> 00:31:56,209 (chuckling) Mr. Burgundy. 653 00:31:56,247 --> 00:31:58,647 - Tino! How are you? - So good to see you. 654 00:31:58,683 --> 00:32:00,310 You're looking fantastic. 655 00:32:00,351 --> 00:32:02,319 Tino, Veronica. 656 00:32:02,353 --> 00:32:04,947 Veronica. What a pretty girlfriend. 657 00:32:04,989 --> 00:32:06,957 - Drinks are on Tino tonight. - No, no, no. 658 00:32:06,991 --> 00:32:09,482 We're work associates. I work at the station. 659 00:32:09,527 --> 00:32:12,621 - I'm a journalist. - Oh, okay. This is a good guy. 660 00:32:12,664 --> 00:32:14,791 Tino's the finest club owner in the city. 661 00:32:14,832 --> 00:32:16,390 - My best friend, right? - Yes. 662 00:32:16,434 --> 00:32:19,562 Yes, we have a saying in my country about people like him. 663 00:32:19,604 --> 00:32:22,129 "The coyote of the desert 664 00:32:22,173 --> 00:32:24,403 always likes to eat the heart of the young, 665 00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:28,139 where the blood drips down to children for breakfast, lunch and dinner, 666 00:32:28,179 --> 00:32:30,977 - only the ribs will be broken in two." - Tino. 667 00:32:31,015 --> 00:32:33,779 Okay. Well, Mr. Burgundy, we will be honored 668 00:32:33,818 --> 00:32:36,548 if you will play "yazz" flute for us. 669 00:32:36,587 --> 00:32:38,418 - I can't. - Please. 670 00:32:38,456 --> 00:32:40,686 - (sighs) - You play jazz flute? 671 00:32:40,725 --> 00:32:42,852 - I dabble. - Oh. 672 00:32:42,894 --> 00:32:45,988 Would everyone love to hear Ron Burgundy play "yazz" flute? 673 00:32:46,030 --> 00:32:49,295 - Man :Get it goin', Ronnie! - TRINO : Yes! Please. 674 00:32:49,334 --> 00:32:50,528 You, on stage now. 675 00:32:50,568 --> 00:32:53,332 Okay, I guess I can play a little ditty. 676 00:32:53,371 --> 00:32:55,100 - Honestly, I'm... - Come on. 677 00:32:55,139 --> 00:32:58,802 - Give him a hand. - I'm not prepared. Not at all. 678 00:32:58,843 --> 00:33:01,676 - Yeah! - This is a surprise, I'll tell you. 679 00:33:01,713 --> 00:33:03,078 (chuckles) 680 00:33:03,114 --> 00:33:05,742 Guys, "East Harlem Shakedown," E flat? 681 00:33:05,783 --> 00:33:07,375 Keep the cymbals splashy, 682 00:33:07,418 --> 00:33:09,545 and, Jay, let's take the bass line for a walk. 683 00:33:13,191 --> 00:33:15,182 (sputtering) Hold on. 684 00:33:15,226 --> 00:33:18,093 I'm not hearing it right. Hold on. 685 00:33:18,129 --> 00:33:21,530 (playing) 686 00:33:25,436 --> 00:33:27,495 We got it now. It's all right. 687 00:33:27,538 --> 00:33:29,062 Woman: Fire up, Ronnie! 688 00:33:31,275 --> 00:33:34,802 Little "Ham and Eggs" comin' at you. Hope you got your griddles. 689 00:33:36,681 --> 00:33:38,546 (grunts) 690 00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:40,050 (grunts) 691 00:33:41,519 --> 00:33:43,919 That's baby-makin' music, that's what that is. 692 00:33:49,961 --> 00:33:52,361 - Let's go! - (microphone feedback) 693 00:34:28,566 --> 00:34:30,033 (gasps) 694 00:34:32,136 --> 00:34:34,263 (plays "Aqualung" riff) 695 00:34:34,305 --> 00:34:36,364 Hey, Aqualung! 696 00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:48,810 (cheering) 697 00:34:48,853 --> 00:34:50,013 Thank you. 698 00:34:50,054 --> 00:34:51,954 Thank you! 699 00:34:56,027 --> 00:34:58,518 (laughing) 700 00:34:58,563 --> 00:35:01,123 You were amazing. 701 00:35:01,165 --> 00:35:02,962 Mm. Thank you. 702 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,161 Where did you learn to play like that? 703 00:35:05,203 --> 00:35:06,864 Well, jazz flute 704 00:35:06,904 --> 00:35:09,964 has always been a small passion of mine. 705 00:35:10,007 --> 00:35:12,976 So what other passions do you have, Mr. Burgundy? 706 00:35:13,010 --> 00:35:17,777 Well, I have one great passion that... 707 00:35:17,815 --> 00:35:22,275 that lives deep within my loins, like a... 708 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:26,347 like a flaming golden hawk: 709 00:35:26,390 --> 00:35:29,484 To one day become a network anchor. 710 00:35:29,527 --> 00:35:32,621 Well, believe it or not, 711 00:35:32,663 --> 00:35:34,654 we share the same dream. 712 00:35:35,700 --> 00:35:37,691 I too want to be an network anchor. 713 00:35:39,537 --> 00:35:41,664 God, you are so beautiful. 714 00:35:41,706 --> 00:35:45,005 - (upholstery squeaks) - (Veronica pants) 715 00:35:46,310 --> 00:35:48,403 We really should be going. 716 00:35:48,446 --> 00:35:51,506 I swore that I would never get involved with a coworker. 717 00:35:53,217 --> 00:35:55,208 Wait. 718 00:35:57,321 --> 00:36:00,347 What if, just for tonight, we weren't coworkers? 719 00:36:00,391 --> 00:36:03,121 We were co-people? 720 00:36:04,195 --> 00:36:06,220 - I don't... - Shh. 721 00:36:07,532 --> 00:36:09,625 You be a woman. 722 00:36:09,667 --> 00:36:12,033 I'll be a man. 723 00:36:12,069 --> 00:36:13,559 That's all. 724 00:36:14,805 --> 00:36:16,329 Oh. 725 00:36:16,374 --> 00:36:19,537 You continue to surprise me, Mr. Burgundy. 726 00:36:37,995 --> 00:36:40,054 (moaning) 727 00:36:40,097 --> 00:36:43,464 Oh, I'm storming your castle on my steed, milady. 728 00:36:43,501 --> 00:36:46,026 (moaning) 729 00:36:46,070 --> 00:36:48,095 (both moaning) 730 00:36:48,139 --> 00:36:50,937 Oh, mi corazón es en fuego! 731 00:36:50,975 --> 00:36:53,239 Julio, fuego, fuego, fuego! 732 00:36:53,277 --> 00:36:55,609 Wait, stop. Stop talking like that. 733 00:36:55,646 --> 00:36:58,114 - I can't understand you. - Sorry. 734 00:36:58,149 --> 00:37:00,743 (barks) 735 00:37:02,587 --> 00:37:04,555 Take me to Pleasure Town! 736 00:37:04,589 --> 00:37:06,614 - Oh, we're going there! - Oh! 737 00:37:10,494 --> 00:37:13,895 ♪ Love is like candy on a shelf ♪ 738 00:37:15,366 --> 00:37:19,302 ♪ You want to taste and help yourself... ♪ 739 00:37:19,337 --> 00:37:21,897 I friggin' love you! 740 00:37:21,939 --> 00:37:23,930 I friggin' love you back! 741 00:37:23,975 --> 00:37:26,443 ♪ Help yourself, take a few ♪ 742 00:37:26,477 --> 00:37:29,344 ♪ That's what I want you to do... ♪ 743 00:37:29,380 --> 00:37:32,349 Look! The most glorious rainbow ever! 744 00:37:32,383 --> 00:37:34,146 Oh, do me on it! 745 00:37:34,185 --> 00:37:37,245 ♪ Just say the word and they are yours... ♪ 746 00:37:37,288 --> 00:37:41,190 - (horses whinny) - Whee! 747 00:37:41,225 --> 00:37:46,128 ♪ In my heart your smile has opened up the door ♪ 748 00:37:46,163 --> 00:37:50,099 ♪ The greatest wealth that exists in the world. ♪ 749 00:37:50,134 --> 00:37:52,193 Mmm. 750 00:37:52,236 --> 00:37:54,261 Well done, sir. 751 00:37:55,506 --> 00:37:58,771 (both sigh) 752 00:37:58,809 --> 00:38:01,539 Tip of the cap to you as well, Miss Corningstone. 753 00:38:01,579 --> 00:38:03,740 (snickers) 754 00:38:04,782 --> 00:38:06,750 (growls) 755 00:38:08,185 --> 00:38:10,779 I'm having very strong feelings for you, Mr. Burgundy. 756 00:38:10,821 --> 00:38:12,311 Mm. 757 00:38:12,356 --> 00:38:15,792 But it's very important to me that I be viewed as a professional. 758 00:38:15,826 --> 00:38:17,794 - Right. - Hmm. 759 00:38:17,828 --> 00:38:20,626 When in Rome. 760 00:38:20,665 --> 00:38:21,996 Yeah. 761 00:38:22,033 --> 00:38:23,933 That, uh, expression 762 00:38:23,968 --> 00:38:26,459 doesn't really apply to what I'm talking about. 763 00:38:26,504 --> 00:38:28,529 - Oh, I'm... - What I was saying. 764 00:38:28,572 --> 00:38:31,541 I still don't quite understand what it means. 765 00:38:31,575 --> 00:38:33,805 Oh, no. You'll find it. 766 00:38:33,844 --> 00:38:36,176 (both chuckle) 767 00:38:36,213 --> 00:38:38,204 No, I was saying that, 768 00:38:38,249 --> 00:38:40,308 if we continue seeing each other, 769 00:38:40,351 --> 00:38:44,082 that we should keep it relatively quiet around the station. 770 00:38:44,121 --> 00:38:45,850 Absolutely, 771 00:38:45,890 --> 00:38:48,586 my wild love tigress. 772 00:38:48,626 --> 00:38:51,823 (both growl) 773 00:38:51,862 --> 00:38:53,989 Tasteful discretion is the name of the game. 774 00:38:54,031 --> 00:38:55,225 Mm-hmm. 775 00:38:58,469 --> 00:39:01,404 Veronica Corningstone and I had sex, 776 00:39:01,439 --> 00:39:04,636 and now we are in love! 777 00:39:05,676 --> 00:39:07,871 Did I say that loud? 778 00:39:07,912 --> 00:39:10,176 Yeah, you pretty much yelled it. 779 00:39:10,214 --> 00:39:12,273 Well, I can't help it. 780 00:39:12,316 --> 00:39:13,840 It's fantastic! 781 00:39:13,884 --> 00:39:17,012 - What's it like, Ron? - The intimate times? 782 00:39:17,054 --> 00:39:19,522 Outta sight, my man! 783 00:39:20,958 --> 00:39:24,325 No. The other thing. 784 00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:25,886 Love. 785 00:39:25,930 --> 00:39:28,558 Yeah. What is that? 786 00:39:28,599 --> 00:39:32,433 Well, it's tough to explain. 787 00:39:32,470 --> 00:39:36,338 - I think I was in love once. - Really, what was her name? 788 00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:37,739 I don't remember. 789 00:39:37,775 --> 00:39:40,744 That's not a good start, but keep going. 790 00:39:40,778 --> 00:39:42,803 She was Brazilian. 791 00:39:42,847 --> 00:39:45,315 Or Chinese, or something weird. 792 00:39:45,349 --> 00:39:48,318 I met her in the bathroom of a K-mart, 793 00:39:48,352 --> 00:39:50,513 and we made out for hours. 794 00:39:50,554 --> 00:39:53,921 Then we parted ways, never to see each other again. 795 00:39:53,958 --> 00:39:56,449 I'm pretty sure that's not love. 796 00:39:56,494 --> 00:39:57,825 Damn it! 797 00:39:57,862 --> 00:39:59,830 I love... 798 00:40:01,232 --> 00:40:02,927 carpet. 799 00:40:05,102 --> 00:40:07,832 I love desk. 800 00:40:07,872 --> 00:40:11,672 Are you just looking at things in the office and saying you love them? 801 00:40:11,709 --> 00:40:13,506 I love lamp. 802 00:40:13,544 --> 00:40:17,310 Do you really love the lamp, or are you saying it because you saw it? 803 00:40:17,348 --> 00:40:21,045 I love lamp! I love lamp. 804 00:40:21,085 --> 00:40:23,280 You really want to know what love is? 805 00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:25,584 - Yeah. - Yes, tell us. 806 00:40:25,623 --> 00:40:27,420 More than anything in the world. 807 00:40:28,592 --> 00:40:31,527 Well, it's really quite simple. 808 00:40:33,097 --> 00:40:35,156 It's kind of like... 809 00:40:36,734 --> 00:40:39,828 ♪ Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight ♪ 810 00:40:39,870 --> 00:40:43,328 ♪ Gonna grab some afternoon delight ♪ 811 00:40:43,374 --> 00:40:46,343 ♪ My motto's always been "When it's right, it's right" ♪ 812 00:40:46,377 --> 00:40:49,938 ♪ Why wait until the middle of a cold, dark night ♪ 813 00:40:49,980 --> 00:40:56,180 ♪ When everything's a little clearer in the light of day ♪ 814 00:40:56,220 --> 00:40:58,552 ♪ And we know the night ♪ 815 00:40:58,589 --> 00:41:02,958 ♪ Is always gonna be there anyway? ♪ 816 00:41:02,993 --> 00:41:05,860 ♪ Thinkin' of you's working up my appetite ♪ 817 00:41:05,896 --> 00:41:08,660 ♪ Lookin' forward to a little afternoon delight ♪ 818 00:41:08,699 --> 00:41:11,668 ♪ Rubbin' sticks and stones together make the sparks ignite ♪ 819 00:41:11,702 --> 00:41:15,160 ♪ And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting ♪ 820 00:41:15,206 --> 00:41:17,071 ♪ Sky rockets in flight ♪ 821 00:41:17,107 --> 00:41:20,042 - ♪ Boo! ♪ - ♪ Afternoon delight... ♪ 822 00:41:20,077 --> 00:41:22,807 - Whoop! - You guys have it, I think. 823 00:41:22,847 --> 00:41:26,044 ♪ Afternoon delight. ♪ 824 00:41:26,083 --> 00:41:29,985 I don't know, Ron. That sounds kinda crazy. 825 00:41:30,020 --> 00:41:32,250 Sounds like you have mental problems, man. 826 00:41:32,289 --> 00:41:34,985 - Yeah, you got mental problems, man. - Yeah, he really does. 827 00:41:35,025 --> 00:41:36,219 Man. 828 00:41:36,260 --> 00:41:39,058 ♪ Afternoon delight. ♪ 829 00:41:39,096 --> 00:41:41,360 - Wanna make a phone call. - Freshen this up. 830 00:41:49,740 --> 00:41:53,471 Oh, look out. Next up, it's Whiskerus Maximus. 831 00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:55,536 He's ready to do battle in the arena 832 00:41:55,579 --> 00:41:58,377 against the tiniest lion you've ever imagined. 833 00:41:58,415 --> 00:42:00,246 (laughing) 834 00:42:00,284 --> 00:42:02,809 I'm getting some great stuff, Miss Corningstone. 835 00:42:02,853 --> 00:42:05,048 Shut up. 836 00:42:05,089 --> 00:42:06,886 Oh, I hate cats. 837 00:42:06,924 --> 00:42:09,518 Let's just do my sign-off and get outta here. 838 00:42:10,761 --> 00:42:13,389 It was quite a show down here at the Pet Shack. 839 00:42:13,430 --> 00:42:17,594 Just for today, fashion curiosity did not kill the cat. 840 00:42:17,635 --> 00:42:21,127 I'm Veronica Corningstone for Channel 4 News. 841 00:42:21,171 --> 00:42:24,766 That was our newest reporter, Veronica Corningstone. 842 00:42:24,808 --> 00:42:26,435 She's really great. 843 00:42:26,477 --> 00:42:29,674 I'd also like to share with you that we are currently dating 844 00:42:29,713 --> 00:42:32,443 and that she is quite a handful in the bedroom. 845 00:42:32,483 --> 00:42:34,246 - (theme music plays) - Uh... 846 00:42:34,285 --> 00:42:36,947 That's gonna do it for all of us here at 6:00. 847 00:42:36,987 --> 00:42:39,683 For the Channel 4 News Team, I'm Ron Burgundy. 848 00:42:39,723 --> 00:42:41,691 You stay classy, San Diego. 849 00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:44,785 Man :All clear. 850 00:42:44,828 --> 00:42:46,853 Ron :Uh-oh. 851 00:42:46,897 --> 00:42:49,627 I might be in trouble on that one. 852 00:42:49,667 --> 00:42:53,535 I can't believe that you said that we were dating on the air. 853 00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:57,234 Mmm! Mmm. That is good fondue. 854 00:42:57,274 --> 00:43:00,607 Don't you get it, Ron? I wanna be an anchor. 855 00:43:00,644 --> 00:43:03,135 That is never gonna happen if everyone in San Diego 856 00:43:03,180 --> 00:43:05,148 thinks that I'm your bimbo gal pal. 857 00:43:05,182 --> 00:43:07,150 I don't know what to say. 858 00:43:07,184 --> 00:43:09,744 I just... I got excited. 859 00:43:09,787 --> 00:43:13,985 I just wanted to shout it from on top of a mountain. 860 00:43:14,024 --> 00:43:17,221 But I didn't have a mountain. I had a newsroom and a camera. 861 00:43:17,261 --> 00:43:18,728 (sighs) Look. 862 00:43:18,762 --> 00:43:20,730 I report the news. That's what I do. 863 00:43:20,764 --> 00:43:25,167 And today's top story, in Ron Burgundy's world, 864 00:43:25,202 --> 00:43:27,432 read something like this: 865 00:43:27,471 --> 00:43:29,905 I love Veronica Corningstone. 866 00:43:34,044 --> 00:43:35,978 Oh, Ron. 867 00:43:40,517 --> 00:43:42,485 Ron: This is nice, gang, sittin' here. 868 00:43:42,519 --> 00:43:44,919 - Brian :Oh, yeah. - Ron :Brown baggin' it. 869 00:43:44,955 --> 00:43:48,413 The team pancake breakfast is tomorrow morning at 9:00 instead of 8:00. 870 00:43:48,459 --> 00:43:50,427 Oh! Almost forgot. 871 00:43:50,461 --> 00:43:52,793 I won't be able to make it, fellas. 872 00:43:52,830 --> 00:43:55,196 Veronica and I are trying this new fad called, 873 00:43:55,232 --> 00:43:57,097 uh, jogging. 874 00:43:57,134 --> 00:44:00,592 I believe it's jogging or yogging. It might be a soft "J." 875 00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:03,334 I'm not sure, but apparently you just run 876 00:44:03,374 --> 00:44:05,501 for an extended period of time. 877 00:44:05,542 --> 00:44:08,067 - It's supposed to be wild. - So Ron's not coming? 878 00:44:08,112 --> 00:44:09,704 No, Ron's coming. 879 00:44:09,747 --> 00:44:12,807 It's the pancake breakfast. We do it every month. 880 00:44:12,850 --> 00:44:14,715 I realize that. 881 00:44:14,752 --> 00:44:18,415 Sometimes you gotta look yourself in the mirror and say, "When in Rome." 882 00:44:18,455 --> 00:44:20,548 The bottom line is, 883 00:44:20,591 --> 00:44:23,617 you've been spending a lot of time with this lady. 884 00:44:23,661 --> 00:44:27,563 You're a member of the Channel 4 News Team. 885 00:44:27,598 --> 00:44:30,032 - That's a given. - We need you. 886 00:44:31,502 --> 00:44:33,527 Hell, I need you. 887 00:44:34,838 --> 00:44:37,033 I'm a mess without ya. 888 00:44:37,074 --> 00:44:39,508 I miss you so damn much. 889 00:44:39,543 --> 00:44:42,273 I miss being with you. 890 00:44:42,312 --> 00:44:45,941 I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. 891 00:44:45,983 --> 00:44:47,974 (anguished laugh) 892 00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:51,415 (chuckles) 893 00:44:51,455 --> 00:44:53,616 I miss... I miss your scent. 894 00:44:53,657 --> 00:44:56,285 (sniffing) I miss your musk. 895 00:44:58,829 --> 00:45:01,354 - (clears throat) - When this all gets sorted out, 896 00:45:01,398 --> 00:45:04,424 I think you and me should get an apartment together. 897 00:45:06,437 --> 00:45:08,905 Just take it easy, Champ. 898 00:45:08,939 --> 00:45:11,407 Why don't you stop talking for a while? 899 00:45:11,442 --> 00:45:13,637 Maybe sit the next couple of plays out. 900 00:45:13,677 --> 00:45:15,201 You know what I mean? 901 00:45:15,245 --> 00:45:17,213 Yeah, I'm gonna quit sayin' things 902 00:45:17,247 --> 00:45:19,613 when they crop up in the ol' skull, huh? 903 00:45:19,650 --> 00:45:22,551 See what it's like when you're not here? 904 00:45:22,586 --> 00:45:25,612 You're our leader. Look what you're doing to the group. 905 00:45:25,656 --> 00:45:27,988 Champ's been a mess. Brick can't sleep at night. 906 00:45:28,025 --> 00:45:30,186 - (chuckles) - Here's the thing, 907 00:45:30,227 --> 00:45:32,024 I don't trust this chick. 908 00:45:32,062 --> 00:45:34,792 We need you around, and she is just using you. 909 00:45:34,832 --> 00:45:36,993 Everyone, just relax. All right? 910 00:45:37,034 --> 00:45:41,130 Believe me, if there's one thing Ron Burgundy knows, it's women. 911 00:45:41,171 --> 00:45:44,265 Okay, and Veronica Corningstone, she's just... 912 00:45:44,308 --> 00:45:46,105 she's just dying to quit her job 913 00:45:46,143 --> 00:45:49,010 so that she can take care of me and have babies. 914 00:45:50,547 --> 00:45:52,538 (door opening, closing) 915 00:45:55,185 --> 00:45:57,210 Hey, gang. 916 00:45:57,254 --> 00:45:59,779 Papa's home. 917 00:45:59,823 --> 00:46:02,155 Oh, honey. 918 00:46:02,192 --> 00:46:04,717 I am so glad you're home. 919 00:46:04,762 --> 00:46:08,198 My alabaster doll. 920 00:46:08,232 --> 00:46:09,859 Gentlemen. 921 00:46:09,900 --> 00:46:11,800 You look great. 922 00:46:11,835 --> 00:46:15,464 No eye contact! 923 00:46:15,506 --> 00:46:17,133 (laughs) 924 00:46:17,174 --> 00:46:19,369 Oh, darling. 925 00:46:19,409 --> 00:46:22,537 I've spent all day cleaning your Emmys 926 00:46:22,579 --> 00:46:24,809 and preparing dinner in the nude. 927 00:46:24,848 --> 00:46:26,611 Oh, let's make whoopie. 928 00:46:26,650 --> 00:46:30,108 And then I'm going to go drinking with the news team for two days. 929 00:46:30,154 --> 00:46:32,748 Wonderful. Wonderful! 930 00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:34,815 Ow! 931 00:46:34,858 --> 00:46:36,951 Bite it! Bite it! 932 00:46:36,994 --> 00:46:40,088 - Oh, yes! - Oh, yeah! 933 00:46:40,130 --> 00:46:42,496 You are a bad boy. 934 00:46:42,533 --> 00:46:44,967 I'm bad. I need to go to the principal's office. 935 00:46:45,002 --> 00:46:46,799 I love my life. 936 00:46:48,806 --> 00:46:51,070 I don't know, Ron. 937 00:46:51,108 --> 00:46:53,338 Guess what. I do. 938 00:46:53,377 --> 00:46:56,744 I know that one day, Veronica and I are gonna get married 939 00:46:56,780 --> 00:46:59,146 on top of a mountain. 940 00:46:59,183 --> 00:47:01,276 And there's going to be flutes playing 941 00:47:01,318 --> 00:47:04,185 and trombones and flowers 942 00:47:04,221 --> 00:47:06,781 and garlands of fresh herbs. 943 00:47:08,125 --> 00:47:11,390 And we will dance till the sun rises. 944 00:47:11,428 --> 00:47:14,226 And then our children will form a family band. 945 00:47:14,264 --> 00:47:16,232 And we will tour the countryside, 946 00:47:16,266 --> 00:47:17,927 and you won't be invited! 947 00:47:21,271 --> 00:47:24,968 I'm telling you, this lady has really crawled into Ron's head. 948 00:47:25,008 --> 00:47:28,409 (wheezing laugh) 949 00:47:28,445 --> 00:47:31,642 Good. Good one! 950 00:47:31,682 --> 00:47:33,547 Oh, okay. I understand. 951 00:47:33,584 --> 00:47:36,519 You have a nice day, sir. Bye. 952 00:47:36,553 --> 00:47:39,317 Um, I could come back later, Mr. Harken. 953 00:47:39,356 --> 00:47:40,755 No, no, no. 954 00:47:40,791 --> 00:47:42,486 It's just parent stuff. 955 00:47:42,526 --> 00:47:45,154 It seems that our youngest, Chris, was 956 00:47:45,195 --> 00:47:46,992 on something called acid 957 00:47:47,030 --> 00:47:49,624 and was firing a bow and arrow into a crowd. 958 00:47:49,666 --> 00:47:51,759 - Mm. - You know how kids are. 959 00:47:51,802 --> 00:47:53,633 Oh. Right. 960 00:47:53,670 --> 00:47:56,332 Anyhoo, what can I do you for? 961 00:47:56,373 --> 00:47:57,670 Well, Mr. Harken, 962 00:47:57,708 --> 00:48:00,734 I feel like I have proven myself as a journalist 963 00:48:00,777 --> 00:48:02,745 and that I deserve the opportunity 964 00:48:02,779 --> 00:48:04,940 to take on more challenging stories. 965 00:48:04,982 --> 00:48:07,109 Well, ask and you shall receive. 966 00:48:07,150 --> 00:48:10,415 Ah, yes, this just came across my desk. 967 00:48:10,454 --> 00:48:12,888 Here is a story of a 103-year-old woman 968 00:48:12,923 --> 00:48:16,723 who claims to have a recipe for the world's greatest meat loaf. 969 00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:18,887 Ooh, now that's a hot lead. 970 00:48:18,929 --> 00:48:22,228 Narrator : It was very hard for Veronica. 971 00:48:22,266 --> 00:48:24,928 But she was a pro and hung tough. 972 00:48:24,968 --> 00:48:28,335 But soon, with a simple act of littering, 973 00:48:28,372 --> 00:48:30,863 everyone's life would change forever. 974 00:48:30,908 --> 00:48:32,637 Ron: ♪ La la la la la. ♪ 975 00:48:32,676 --> 00:48:32,743 (humming) 976 00:48:32,743 --> 00:48:34,870 (humming) 977 00:48:36,146 --> 00:48:39,582 ♪ Oh, Baxter, you are my little gentleman ♪ 978 00:48:39,616 --> 00:48:41,607 ♪ I'll take you to foggy London Town ♪ 979 00:48:41,652 --> 00:48:43,085 ♪ Because you are what? ♪ 980 00:48:43,120 --> 00:48:45,918 ♪ My little gentleman. ♪ 981 00:48:45,956 --> 00:48:48,891 This burrito is delicious, but it is filling. 982 00:48:48,926 --> 00:48:51,224 - (tires screeching) - Ron :Whoa! 983 00:48:52,629 --> 00:48:54,062 Antony and Cleopatra! 984 00:48:56,366 --> 00:48:58,994 (groaning) 985 00:48:59,036 --> 00:49:01,334 (groaning continues) 986 00:49:01,371 --> 00:49:03,635 Goddamn son of... 987 00:49:05,042 --> 00:49:06,566 What the hell, bro'? 988 00:49:06,610 --> 00:49:08,874 Hello, neighbor. 989 00:49:08,912 --> 00:49:11,107 Did you just throw a burrito out your window? 990 00:49:11,148 --> 00:49:12,308 I believe I did. 991 00:49:12,349 --> 00:49:15,318 Are you high or something? Did you see what happened? 992 00:49:15,352 --> 00:49:18,185 I did. That was a terrific spill. That's quite a raspberry. 993 00:49:18,221 --> 00:49:20,917 That's my chopper you just thrashed, Broseph. 994 00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:24,519 Easy, compadre. I'm your friend out here, all right? 995 00:49:24,561 --> 00:49:27,962 I want you to fix my chopper before I stomp your goofy ass! 996 00:49:27,998 --> 00:49:29,989 If you want to throw down, fine. 997 00:49:30,033 --> 00:49:33,469 I've got Jack Johnson and Tom O'Leary waiting for you. 998 00:49:33,503 --> 00:49:35,801 You destroyed the only thing I love. 999 00:49:35,839 --> 00:49:38,967 All right? There it is. What do you love? 1000 00:49:39,009 --> 00:49:41,068 I love poetry. 1001 00:49:41,111 --> 00:49:43,409 And a glass of Scotch. 1002 00:49:43,447 --> 00:49:46,211 And, of course, my friend Baxter here. 1003 00:49:46,249 --> 00:49:48,945 Well, guess what. Now this is happenin'. 1004 00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:52,012 Excuse me. Excuse me. What are you doing? 1005 00:49:54,691 --> 00:49:57,182 - (splashes) - That's how I roll. 1006 00:49:58,295 --> 00:50:01,196 Baxter! (gasps) 1007 00:50:01,231 --> 00:50:05,065 No! 1008 00:50:06,837 --> 00:50:09,101 - Where the hell is he? - He'll be here. 1009 00:50:10,807 --> 00:50:13,640 - I thought he was Mr. Dependable. - It's not like Ron. 1010 00:50:13,677 --> 00:50:17,306 I'd put Brick on, but unless he's tracking a storm front, he's useless. 1011 00:50:17,347 --> 00:50:19,144 - Excuse me, gentlemen. - Oh. Hello. 1012 00:50:19,182 --> 00:50:22,549 Just want you to know if Ron does not show up, I am ready to go on. 1013 00:50:22,586 --> 00:50:24,952 You and I have had this discussion a million times. 1014 00:50:24,988 --> 00:50:26,717 There's never been a woman anchor. 1015 00:50:26,757 --> 00:50:28,224 Mr. Harken, 1016 00:50:28,258 --> 00:50:31,227 - this city needs its news. - Oh. 1017 00:50:31,261 --> 00:50:34,389 You're gonna deprive them of that because I have breasts? 1018 00:50:34,431 --> 00:50:35,898 Exquisite breasts? 1019 00:50:35,932 --> 00:50:40,335 I am gonna go on, and if you want to stop me, bring it on. 1020 00:50:40,370 --> 00:50:42,463 Because I am good at three things: 1021 00:50:42,506 --> 00:50:44,804 Fighting, screwing and reading the news. 1022 00:50:44,841 --> 00:50:48,572 I've already done one of those today, so what's the other one gonna be? 1023 00:50:50,814 --> 00:50:52,111 Uh... 1024 00:50:52,149 --> 00:50:53,411 Screwing? 1025 00:50:55,452 --> 00:50:57,249 (grunts) 1026 00:50:57,287 --> 00:51:00,222 I will be in makeup. 1027 00:51:01,625 --> 00:51:03,786 Jesus, she's terrifying! 1028 00:51:03,827 --> 00:51:07,285 - Fantana. - (wailing) 1029 00:51:08,398 --> 00:51:09,695 Ron, are you okay? 1030 00:51:09,733 --> 00:51:11,792 The man punted Baxter! 1031 00:51:11,835 --> 00:51:13,894 - (wailing) - Calm down. 1032 00:51:13,937 --> 00:51:15,632 Breathe, Ron, breathe. 1033 00:51:15,672 --> 00:51:18,163 The man that loved the motorcycle! 1034 00:51:18,208 --> 00:51:20,005 What did the bad man do? 1035 00:51:20,043 --> 00:51:24,207 The motorcycle on the bridge! I hit him with a burrito! 1036 00:51:24,247 --> 00:51:25,509 - Ron! - He took him! 1037 00:51:25,549 --> 00:51:28,882 He took him with his foot and he kicked him! 1038 00:51:28,919 --> 00:51:30,352 That's what he did! 1039 00:51:30,387 --> 00:51:31,684 Someone punted him? 1040 00:51:31,721 --> 00:51:34,451 No, wait. Wait. Let me say something. 1041 00:51:34,491 --> 00:51:39,861 Let me say something. (wailing) 1042 00:51:39,896 --> 00:51:42,888 - What? - (wailing) 1043 00:51:45,702 --> 00:51:48,830 L... I don't... I didn't understand one word you said. 1044 00:51:48,872 --> 00:51:51,238 Ron, are you okay? Ron? 1045 00:51:51,274 --> 00:51:53,265 (wailing) 1046 00:51:57,614 --> 00:51:59,878 Ron. Where are you? 1047 00:51:59,916 --> 00:52:03,545 I'm in a glass case of emotion! 1048 00:52:03,587 --> 00:52:05,612 He's gonna put Corningstone on. 1049 00:52:05,655 --> 00:52:08,180 He's gonna put Corningstone on! 1050 00:52:10,227 --> 00:52:12,286 I've got to do the news! 1051 00:52:20,237 --> 00:52:22,068 (Ed snickers) 1052 00:52:22,105 --> 00:52:23,197 (clears throat) 1053 00:52:26,009 --> 00:52:27,840 You're not Ron. 1054 00:52:29,713 --> 00:52:32,409 We're on in 10. Good luck, lady. 1055 00:52:32,449 --> 00:52:34,178 Ready the announce. 1056 00:52:34,217 --> 00:52:36,276 (clears throat) 1057 00:52:38,355 --> 00:52:40,585 - Power. - Roll in. 1058 00:52:40,624 --> 00:52:42,615 Power. Power. 1059 00:52:46,863 --> 00:52:49,127 One slip, 1060 00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:51,634 and you're gone. Whammy. 1061 00:52:51,668 --> 00:52:54,034 Announcer: And your reporter in the field, 1062 00:52:54,070 --> 00:52:55,401 Brian Fantana. 1063 00:52:55,438 --> 00:52:58,305 It's Channel 4 News at 6:00. 1064 00:52:58,341 --> 00:53:00,104 (clears throat) 1065 00:53:00,143 --> 00:53:02,703 Good evening. Ron Burgundy is off tonight. 1066 00:53:04,114 --> 00:53:06,582 I'm Veronica Corningstone. 1067 00:53:06,616 --> 00:53:08,106 Tonight's top story: 1068 00:53:08,151 --> 00:53:10,619 - Okay, we're off and running. - Three armed men 1069 00:53:10,654 --> 00:53:14,351 wearing ski masks made off with over $20,000 from an area bank 1070 00:53:14,391 --> 00:53:16,382 in a daring early morning robbery. 1071 00:53:21,498 --> 00:53:22,863 Hey! 1072 00:53:22,899 --> 00:53:26,062 And the winner of the frog-leaping contest was Hoppy, 1073 00:53:26,102 --> 00:53:29,037 with a jump of seven feet, 10 inches. 1074 00:53:29,072 --> 00:53:30,903 Hmm. 1075 00:53:30,941 --> 00:53:35,105 I used to date a guy named Hoppy down in Alabama. He was quite a jumper, too. 1076 00:53:35,145 --> 00:53:37,079 (laughing) 1077 00:53:37,113 --> 00:53:39,343 That will do it for us at 6:00. 1078 00:53:39,382 --> 00:53:41,942 From all of us here at Channel 4 News, 1079 00:53:41,985 --> 00:53:44,180 I'm Veronica Corningstone, 1080 00:53:44,221 --> 00:53:47,349 and thanks for stopping by, San Diego. 1081 00:53:47,390 --> 00:53:48,687 - (applause) - All clear! 1082 00:53:48,725 --> 00:53:51,523 Yes! Yes! 1083 00:53:52,629 --> 00:53:54,824 Lady! Lady! 1084 00:53:54,864 --> 00:53:57,731 Not bad, Miss Corningstone. Not bad at all. 1085 00:53:57,767 --> 00:53:59,894 Thank you, Mr. Harken. That felt good. 1086 00:53:59,936 --> 00:54:02,871 - That felt really good. - I liked your sign-off line, too. 1087 00:54:02,906 --> 00:54:05,875 You did? It just came through me. It was so organic. 1088 00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:07,706 Veronica: Thank you. 1089 00:54:07,744 --> 00:54:09,473 (grunting) 1090 00:54:09,512 --> 00:54:11,480 Oh, Ron! Ron! Ron, darling! 1091 00:54:11,514 --> 00:54:14,176 I'm so glad you're all right. Oh, God. 1092 00:54:14,217 --> 00:54:16,082 I have something magnificent to tell you. 1093 00:54:16,119 --> 00:54:18,587 I'm here. We can do the news now. 1094 00:54:18,622 --> 00:54:21,489 It's all right, everyone! We can do the news. 1095 00:54:21,524 --> 00:54:24,322 Hold on. Why are we all standing around? Let's go! 1096 00:54:24,361 --> 00:54:27,421 Ron, we did it. Veronica filled in for you. 1097 00:54:27,464 --> 00:54:28,829 What? 1098 00:54:28,865 --> 00:54:30,924 Sweetheart, we were so worried about you, 1099 00:54:30,967 --> 00:54:33,800 and we waited as long as we could, but... 1100 00:54:33,837 --> 00:54:37,830 Darling, I did the news, and I nailed it. I nailed it. 1101 00:54:37,874 --> 00:54:42,436 Wait, wait! Veronica, please, tell me this is some kind 1102 00:54:42,479 --> 00:54:45,004 of sick, tasteless joke. 1103 00:54:45,048 --> 00:54:47,346 You weren't here. Why are you being this way? 1104 00:54:47,384 --> 00:54:49,352 Why can't you be proud of me 1105 00:54:49,386 --> 00:54:52,150 as a peer and as my gentleman lover? 1106 00:54:52,188 --> 00:54:53,678 Oh, Jeez. 1107 00:54:53,723 --> 00:54:56,556 I can't believe you did this to me! 1108 00:54:56,593 --> 00:54:58,561 You read my news! 1109 00:54:58,595 --> 00:55:01,621 I told you that I wanted to be an anchor. 1110 00:55:01,665 --> 00:55:03,223 I told you that. 1111 00:55:03,266 --> 00:55:05,666 I thought you were kidding! 1112 00:55:05,702 --> 00:55:07,670 I thought it was a joke! 1113 00:55:07,704 --> 00:55:10,002 I even wrote it down in my diary! 1114 00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:13,305 "Veronica had a very funny joke today." 1115 00:55:13,343 --> 00:55:15,334 I laughed at it later that night! 1116 00:55:15,378 --> 00:55:17,710 I can't believe that I cared for you. 1117 00:55:17,747 --> 00:55:19,715 Get out! Just go! 1118 00:55:19,749 --> 00:55:22,547 We are through! Through! 1119 00:55:22,585 --> 00:55:25,554 Because of your actions, you scorpion woman! 1120 00:55:25,588 --> 00:55:28,455 You have broken my heart, Mr. Burgundy. 1121 00:55:28,491 --> 00:55:30,618 You have broken my heart. 1122 00:55:34,931 --> 00:55:36,626 Narrator : From there on out, 1123 00:55:36,666 --> 00:55:39,226 things just got worse for Ron Burgundy. 1124 00:55:39,269 --> 00:55:41,294 Corningstone was a star, 1125 00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:44,239 and everything started to move awfully fast 1126 00:55:44,274 --> 00:55:46,902 - after her big break. - Where's Ian? Ian! 1127 00:55:46,943 --> 00:55:49,411 Ed: All right, I got a call from network. 1128 00:55:49,446 --> 00:55:51,812 It looks like our broadcast last night 1129 00:55:51,848 --> 00:55:54,874 received a two-point ratings boost, 1130 00:55:54,918 --> 00:55:57,352 and the decision has been passed down 1131 00:55:57,387 --> 00:56:00,185 to make Veronica our co-anchor. 1132 00:56:00,223 --> 00:56:02,248 - What? - No. No! 1133 00:56:02,292 --> 00:56:04,351 No! 1134 00:56:04,394 --> 00:56:06,055 - No! - No! 1135 00:56:06,096 --> 00:56:07,529 - No! - This is wonderful. 1136 00:56:07,564 --> 00:56:11,056 Ed, come here, you big silly man. You big silly man. 1137 00:56:11,101 --> 00:56:14,036 - We did it. - What is this, amateur hour? 1138 00:56:17,407 --> 00:56:20,069 - That's great. - Thank you. 1139 00:56:20,110 --> 00:56:22,044 - ♪ Sunshine, go away today... ♪ - Damn it! 1140 00:56:22,078 --> 00:56:26,447 ♪ I don't feel much like dancing ♪ 1141 00:56:26,483 --> 00:56:29,646 ♪ Some man's gone, he's trying to run my life ♪ 1142 00:56:29,686 --> 00:56:33,850 ♪ Don't know what he's asking ♪ 1143 00:56:35,658 --> 00:56:39,424 ♪ When he tells me I better get in line ♪ 1144 00:56:39,462 --> 00:56:43,125 ♪ I can't hear what he's sayin' ♪ 1145 00:56:43,166 --> 00:56:47,068 ♪ When I grow up I'm gonna make it mine ♪ 1146 00:56:47,103 --> 00:56:48,229 ♪ These ain't dues... ♪ 1147 00:56:48,271 --> 00:56:50,068 What Brian didn't tell you 1148 00:56:50,106 --> 00:56:53,098 was that those were not real pirates. 1149 00:56:53,143 --> 00:56:55,611 - They looked convincing, though. - Oh, yes. 1150 00:56:55,645 --> 00:56:58,239 Well, for all of us here at Channel 4 News, 1151 00:56:58,281 --> 00:56:59,612 I'm Ron Burgundy. 1152 00:56:59,649 --> 00:57:01,617 You stay classy, San Diego. 1153 00:57:01,651 --> 00:57:03,676 And thanks for stopping by. 1154 00:57:03,720 --> 00:57:05,711 But mainly stay classy. 1155 00:57:05,755 --> 00:57:08,519 - Thanks for stopping by. - Stay classy, I'm Ron Burgundy. 1156 00:57:08,558 --> 00:57:10,355 - Thanks for stopping by. - Stay classy. 1157 00:57:10,393 --> 00:57:12,987 - Ron Burgundy. - (clears throat) 1158 00:57:15,331 --> 00:57:18,391 You are a real hooker, and I'm gonna slap you in public. 1159 00:57:18,435 --> 00:57:20,062 (chuckles) 1160 00:57:20,103 --> 00:57:22,367 You have way too much pubic hair. 1161 00:57:22,405 --> 00:57:24,305 Actually, that's a point of pride. 1162 00:57:24,340 --> 00:57:27,173 I'm very proud of my mane of pubic hair, so thank you. 1163 00:57:30,647 --> 00:57:33,878 You have man boobs. (chuckling) 1164 00:57:33,917 --> 00:57:36,283 You've got a dirty, whorish mouth. 1165 00:57:40,623 --> 00:57:42,989 I'm gonna punch you in the ovary. 1166 00:57:43,026 --> 00:57:45,221 - A straight shot. - Ooh, ow. 1167 00:57:45,261 --> 00:57:47,252 Right to the baby-maker. 1168 00:57:47,297 --> 00:57:50,391 Ah, jazz flute is for little fairy boys. 1169 00:57:50,433 --> 00:57:52,526 Okay, you know what? That's uncalled for. 1170 00:57:52,569 --> 00:57:54,764 I can't work with this woman. It's terrible. 1171 00:57:56,439 --> 00:57:59,374 - (phone ringing) - It's ringing. 1172 00:58:00,710 --> 00:58:02,541 Veronica Corningstone. 1173 00:58:02,579 --> 00:58:05,605 Hello, Veronica, this is Mike Rithjin 1174 00:58:05,648 --> 00:58:07,946 from the network. You've just been promoted. 1175 00:58:07,984 --> 00:58:10,111 You're gonna need to move to Moscow. 1176 00:58:10,153 --> 00:58:11,916 Start cleaning up your desk. 1177 00:58:11,955 --> 00:58:14,287 See you in the morning. We'll pick you up in a van. 1178 00:58:14,324 --> 00:58:15,916 What did you say your name was? 1179 00:58:15,959 --> 00:58:18,154 Mike Ritnitjun. It's not important. 1180 00:58:18,194 --> 00:58:19,684 Start cleaning your desk, 1181 00:58:19,729 --> 00:58:22,197 and we'll pick you up in the morning. 1182 00:58:22,232 --> 00:58:24,530 Tell her she might want to get a coat. 1183 00:58:24,567 --> 00:58:27,195 Hold on. Veronica? What was it? 1184 00:58:27,237 --> 00:58:28,727 Champ : Tell her to get a coat. 1185 00:58:28,771 --> 00:58:31,934 Also, I don't know if you know Moscow. It's pretty cold. 1186 00:58:31,975 --> 00:58:33,465 You might want to buy a coat. 1187 00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:35,808 Are you and Champ having a good time, Ron? 1188 00:58:35,845 --> 00:58:36,937 Are we what? 1189 00:58:36,980 --> 00:58:39,141 I can see you, Ron. 1190 00:58:39,182 --> 00:58:40,547 What? 1191 00:58:40,583 --> 00:58:43,575 I can see you. 1192 00:58:43,620 --> 00:58:45,986 Okay. Bye-bye. 1193 00:58:46,022 --> 00:58:47,956 - What happened? - She knew it was me. 1194 00:58:51,961 --> 00:58:54,361 Announcer: You're watching Channel 4 News 1195 00:58:54,397 --> 00:58:56,729 with five-time Emmy award-winning anchor 1196 00:58:56,766 --> 00:58:58,791 Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee. 1197 00:59:00,270 --> 00:59:03,171 Good evening, San Diego. I'm Veronica Corningstone. 1198 00:59:03,206 --> 00:59:05,197 Tits McGee is on vacation. 1199 00:59:08,611 --> 00:59:10,602 And I'm Tits... I'm Ron Burgundy. 1200 00:59:10,647 --> 00:59:12,046 (clears throat) 1201 00:59:12,081 --> 00:59:14,208 (phone rings) 1202 00:59:14,250 --> 00:59:16,775 - Veronica Corningstone. - This is your doctor. 1203 00:59:16,819 --> 00:59:19,982 I have your pregnancy report here, and guess what. 1204 00:59:20,023 --> 00:59:23,254 You got knocked up. You should probably get out of news. 1205 00:59:23,293 --> 00:59:25,784 - Who is this? - This is Dr. Chim. 1206 00:59:25,828 --> 00:59:29,286 - Dr. Chim Richalds. - Ron, is this you? 1207 00:59:29,332 --> 00:59:31,562 - (laughing) - I'm a professional doctor. 1208 00:59:31,601 --> 00:59:34,161 You saw me. You don't remember. 1209 00:59:34,203 --> 00:59:37,195 - We... you should move. - (Champ laughing) 1210 00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,435 - Get out of the business. - This is pathetic. 1211 00:59:39,475 --> 00:59:41,568 You're pathetic. 1212 00:59:41,611 --> 00:59:43,238 What'd she say? 1213 00:59:43,279 --> 00:59:45,713 She... I don't... I think she bought it. 1214 00:59:45,748 --> 00:59:48,182 Champ : She's looking this way. 1215 00:59:48,217 --> 00:59:51,345 - Oh, uh-oh. Whoa! - Here she comes. 1216 00:59:55,558 --> 00:59:58,026 Ron :I'll tell you what, it's just not working. 1217 00:59:58,061 --> 01:00:00,427 She's making us look like a bunch of fools. 1218 01:00:00,463 --> 01:00:03,523 - Ellen, where's the party? - (sighs) 1219 01:00:04,667 --> 01:00:07,329 Children, grow up. 1220 01:00:08,404 --> 01:00:10,372 Son of a bee sting. 1221 01:00:10,406 --> 01:00:12,533 She's turning the entire office against us. 1222 01:00:12,575 --> 01:00:15,203 - This is grim. Real grim. - What are we gonna do? 1223 01:00:15,244 --> 01:00:17,474 There's only one thing a man can do 1224 01:00:17,513 --> 01:00:21,472 when he's suffering from a spiritual and existential funk. 1225 01:00:21,517 --> 01:00:23,712 Go to the zoo, flip off the monkeys? 1226 01:00:23,753 --> 01:00:26,381 No. Buy new suits. 1227 01:00:26,422 --> 01:00:28,151 ALL : Yea! 1228 01:00:28,191 --> 01:00:30,352 ♪ That girl ♪ 1229 01:00:32,595 --> 01:00:35,063 ♪ I'm gonna make her mine if it takes all night ♪ 1230 01:00:35,098 --> 01:00:36,622 ♪ Can you dig it? Can you dig it? ♪ 1231 01:00:36,666 --> 01:00:38,361 ♪ Can you dig it? Can you dig it? ♪ 1232 01:00:38,401 --> 01:00:38,468 Where's the suit store? We've been walking for 45 minutes. 1233 01:00:38,468 --> 01:00:41,528 Where's the suit store? We've been walking for 45 minutes. 1234 01:00:41,571 --> 01:00:43,971 Brick, I thought you said this was a shortcut. 1235 01:00:44,007 --> 01:00:45,269 Fantastic. 1236 01:00:45,308 --> 01:00:47,833 - Is it a shortcut or not? - Okay. 1237 01:00:48,945 --> 01:00:50,913 Jeez. 1238 01:00:50,947 --> 01:00:53,643 (bell jingles) 1239 01:00:53,683 --> 01:00:55,514 Hey. 1240 01:00:55,551 --> 01:00:59,180 Uh-oh. Here comes trouble. 1241 01:00:59,222 --> 01:01:01,554 (hooting, laughing) 1242 01:01:01,591 --> 01:01:04,287 Burgundy and the ladies went out for a stroll, huh? 1243 01:01:04,327 --> 01:01:05,760 (wolf whistle, catcalls) 1244 01:01:05,795 --> 01:01:08,764 You boys walkin' around and talkin' things through? 1245 01:01:08,798 --> 01:01:10,459 Keep a tight perimeter. 1246 01:01:12,635 --> 01:01:14,535 Yes, sirree. 1247 01:01:15,571 --> 01:01:16,902 Well, well, well. 1248 01:01:18,608 --> 01:01:20,542 Ron Burgundy 1249 01:01:20,576 --> 01:01:22,510 and the Channel 4 News Team. 1250 01:01:22,545 --> 01:01:24,513 Where's your mommy? 1251 01:01:24,547 --> 01:01:27,015 You back off, Evening News Team. 1252 01:01:31,821 --> 01:01:34,016 You know, I understand that, uh, 1253 01:01:34,057 --> 01:01:36,582 they had to bring a female in. 1254 01:01:37,627 --> 01:01:39,254 Change your diapers. 1255 01:01:39,295 --> 01:01:41,820 Wipe the dribble away from your bubblin' lips. 1256 01:01:43,533 --> 01:01:45,398 Rub Vaseline all over your heinie 1257 01:01:45,435 --> 01:01:48,734 and tell you that it's special and different from everyone else's. 1258 01:01:48,771 --> 01:01:50,636 (laughing) 1259 01:01:50,673 --> 01:01:52,868 He said "heinie"! 1260 01:01:52,909 --> 01:01:54,604 Brick, get back over here! 1261 01:01:54,644 --> 01:01:56,043 Heinie! 1262 01:01:56,079 --> 01:01:58,070 Does she tuck you in, Ronnie? 1263 01:01:59,215 --> 01:02:01,581 Give you a little kiss on your forehead? 1264 01:02:01,617 --> 01:02:03,482 Tell you everything's gonna be okay? 1265 01:02:03,519 --> 01:02:05,783 I've had enough of you, Mantooth. 1266 01:02:05,822 --> 01:02:08,814 This is gonna end right here, right now. 1267 01:02:08,858 --> 01:02:10,655 Let's dance, dickweed. 1268 01:02:10,693 --> 01:02:12,786 You wanna dance, Ronnie? 1269 01:02:16,132 --> 01:02:17,827 I wanna polka. 1270 01:02:26,476 --> 01:02:28,967 Come get a taste. 1271 01:02:32,715 --> 01:02:34,706 Brick, where'd you get a hand grenade? 1272 01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:36,616 I don't know. 1273 01:02:37,754 --> 01:02:40,814 All right. Let's do this! 1274 01:02:42,024 --> 01:02:43,821 Hey! 1275 01:02:46,796 --> 01:02:48,764 If you're gonna have a fight, 1276 01:02:48,798 --> 01:02:51,198 then don't forget Channel 2 News with me, 1277 01:02:51,234 --> 01:02:53,464 lead anchor Frank Vitchard. 1278 01:02:53,503 --> 01:02:56,802 You dirtbags have been in third place for five years. 1279 01:02:56,839 --> 01:03:00,673 Yeah? Well, you're about to be in dead place. 1280 01:03:06,382 --> 01:03:10,409 Not so fast, you ingrates! 1281 01:03:10,453 --> 01:03:13,547 Public News Team is taking a break from its pledge drive 1282 01:03:13,589 --> 01:03:15,216 to kick some ass. 1283 01:03:15,258 --> 01:03:17,453 No commercials! No mercy! 1284 01:03:17,493 --> 01:03:19,290 (yelling) 1285 01:03:24,066 --> 01:03:25,897 (rattling) 1286 01:03:30,706 --> 01:03:32,697 Cómo están, pinches! 1287 01:03:32,742 --> 01:03:34,801 Spanish Language News is here. 1288 01:03:34,844 --> 01:03:36,209 Tonight's top story: 1289 01:03:36,245 --> 01:03:39,681 The sewers run red with Burgundy's blood. 1290 01:03:39,715 --> 01:03:41,512 Hyah! Hyah! 1291 01:03:41,551 --> 01:03:44,145 (whooping) 1292 01:03:48,124 --> 01:03:51,457 Well looks like we got ourselves a bilingual bloodfest. 1293 01:03:58,301 --> 01:04:02,067 Now, before we do this, let's go over the ground rules. 1294 01:04:02,104 --> 01:04:04,299 (snarling) 1295 01:04:04,340 --> 01:04:06,570 Rule number one: 1296 01:04:06,609 --> 01:04:09,305 No touching of the hair or face. 1297 01:04:10,346 --> 01:04:11,506 Of course. 1298 01:04:11,547 --> 01:04:13,742 And that's it! 1299 01:04:13,783 --> 01:04:16,013 Now let's do this! 1300 01:04:24,160 --> 01:04:26,720 - Begin! - (shouting) 1301 01:04:32,768 --> 01:04:34,759 (screaming) 1302 01:05:00,296 --> 01:05:02,924 - (screams) - (chuckles) 1303 01:05:04,433 --> 01:05:06,833 I'm gonna straight-up murder your ass! 1304 01:05:06,869 --> 01:05:08,928 - Blade! - Here you go, mate! 1305 01:05:08,971 --> 01:05:11,030 Ahh! God! 1306 01:05:11,073 --> 01:05:13,667 Oh! I did not see that coming! 1307 01:05:17,380 --> 01:05:19,405 Oh! Aaah! 1308 01:05:19,448 --> 01:05:22,679 - Now I'll be number one. - No, you won't! 1309 01:05:24,820 --> 01:05:27,687 - (sirens wailing) - Policía! 1310 01:05:41,070 --> 01:05:44,062 Boy, that escalated quickly. 1311 01:05:44,106 --> 01:05:47,075 I mean, that really got out of hand fast. 1312 01:05:47,109 --> 01:05:49,703 - It jumped up a notch. - It did, didn't it? 1313 01:05:49,745 --> 01:05:52,179 Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart. 1314 01:05:52,214 --> 01:05:55,741 I saw that. Brick killed a guy. 1315 01:05:55,785 --> 01:05:57,980 - Did you throw a trident? - Yeah. 1316 01:05:58,020 --> 01:06:01,387 There were horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident. 1317 01:06:01,424 --> 01:06:03,722 I've been meaning to talk to you about that. 1318 01:06:03,759 --> 01:06:06,592 Find yourself a safe house or a relative close by. 1319 01:06:06,629 --> 01:06:10,793 Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder. 1320 01:06:10,833 --> 01:06:12,323 I'm proud of you fellas. 1321 01:06:12,368 --> 01:06:14,097 You kept your head on a swivel. 1322 01:06:14,136 --> 01:06:17,105 That's what you gotta do when you're in a vicious cockfight. 1323 01:06:17,139 --> 01:06:19,937 Can you believe Mantooth and the Channel 9 Evening News Team? 1324 01:06:19,976 --> 01:06:22,444 "Where's your mommy? Someone's gotta change your diapers." 1325 01:06:22,478 --> 01:06:25,174 This Corningstone business is really hurting our rep. 1326 01:06:25,214 --> 01:06:27,182 I know exactly what you mean, Brian. 1327 01:06:27,216 --> 01:06:29,684 Every newsman in this city's laughing at us. 1328 01:06:29,719 --> 01:06:33,485 - And I don't like it. - I don't like the put-downs. 1329 01:06:33,522 --> 01:06:35,285 We're gonna do something about it. 1330 01:06:35,324 --> 01:06:37,918 It is time to put an end to this! 1331 01:06:37,960 --> 01:06:41,293 Last time I looked, my name's Ron Burgundy. What's your name? 1332 01:06:41,330 --> 01:06:42,888 - Brian Fantana. - Champ Kind. 1333 01:06:42,932 --> 01:06:44,559 - Brian Fantana. - No, you're Brick. 1334 01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:45,760 - Brian. - I'm Brian. 1335 01:06:45,801 --> 01:06:47,370 Veronica. 1336 01:06:47,370 --> 01:06:50,737 Ron on TV: And I've shown you, old man! 1337 01:06:50,773 --> 01:06:53,936 Garth, I need to look at these tapes for a potential lead. 1338 01:06:53,976 --> 01:06:55,739 Ron's using the machine 1339 01:06:55,778 --> 01:06:58,508 to play his local Emmy acceptance speech from last year. 1340 01:06:58,547 --> 01:07:00,412 I tried to ask her out on a date. 1341 01:07:00,449 --> 01:07:04,146 Turn the music off! I'm still talking! 1342 01:07:04,186 --> 01:07:06,711 - This is ridiculous! - I don't remember doing it. 1343 01:07:06,756 --> 01:07:08,986 - Excuse me. - What are you doing? 1344 01:07:09,025 --> 01:07:12,358 I need this machine so I can watch a tape for a story. 1345 01:07:12,395 --> 01:07:14,454 I'm using the tape. 1346 01:07:14,497 --> 01:07:16,556 I'm showing Jeffrey my Emmy tape. 1347 01:07:16,599 --> 01:07:18,191 We are watching history. 1348 01:07:18,234 --> 01:07:20,794 Mr. Burgundy, I'm a professional, 1349 01:07:20,836 --> 01:07:24,363 and I would like to be able to do my job. 1350 01:07:24,407 --> 01:07:26,602 Big deal! I am very professional! 1351 01:07:26,642 --> 01:07:29,167 Mr. Burgundy, you are acting like a baby. 1352 01:07:29,211 --> 01:07:32,942 I'm not a baby, I am a man. I am an anchorman! 1353 01:07:32,982 --> 01:07:35,849 You are not a man. You are a big fat joke! 1354 01:07:35,885 --> 01:07:37,819 I'm a man who discovered the wheel 1355 01:07:37,853 --> 01:07:41,118 and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. 1356 01:07:41,157 --> 01:07:42,886 That's what kind of man I am. 1357 01:07:42,925 --> 01:07:45,587 You're just a woman with a small brain. 1358 01:07:45,628 --> 01:07:49,496 With a brain a third the size of us. It's science. 1359 01:07:49,532 --> 01:07:52,433 I will have you know that I have more talent 1360 01:07:52,468 --> 01:07:54,868 and more intelligence in my little finger 1361 01:07:54,904 --> 01:07:57,395 than you do in your entire body, sir! 1362 01:07:57,440 --> 01:07:59,908 You are a smelly pirate hooker! 1363 01:07:59,942 --> 01:08:02,240 You look like a blueberry. 1364 01:08:02,278 --> 01:08:05,372 Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island? 1365 01:08:05,414 --> 01:08:08,679 Well, you have bad hair. 1366 01:08:08,717 --> 01:08:10,947 (onlookers gasp) 1367 01:08:10,986 --> 01:08:12,977 What did you say? 1368 01:08:13,022 --> 01:08:14,785 I said 1369 01:08:14,824 --> 01:08:16,519 your hair 1370 01:08:16,559 --> 01:08:19,323 looks stupid. 1371 01:08:21,664 --> 01:08:23,894 (screaming) 1372 01:08:26,202 --> 01:08:29,467 - Let 'em work it out! - It's between the two of them! 1373 01:08:39,882 --> 01:08:41,941 (screaming) 1374 01:08:41,984 --> 01:08:44,509 They're just talking. Just talking. 1375 01:08:44,553 --> 01:08:47,044 - I hate you! - I hate you more! 1376 01:08:50,693 --> 01:08:53,218 (screaming) 1377 01:08:57,099 --> 01:08:58,726 (Veronica yells) 1378 01:08:58,767 --> 01:09:00,291 Ow! 1379 01:09:00,336 --> 01:09:02,896 - (screaming) - Shut up! Shut up! 1380 01:09:06,942 --> 01:09:08,341 All right, stop! 1381 01:09:08,377 --> 01:09:10,345 Stop what you're doing right now! 1382 01:09:10,379 --> 01:09:13,405 I will not have my newsroom be divided. 1383 01:09:14,950 --> 01:09:17,282 Ah! Knights of Columbus, that hurts! 1384 01:09:19,488 --> 01:09:21,456 Veronica: I was like, "Who is that guy?" 1385 01:09:21,490 --> 01:09:25,256 (laughing) 1386 01:09:25,294 --> 01:09:28,286 I just can't believe what Ron did to you. 1387 01:09:28,330 --> 01:09:30,764 It is so awful. 1388 01:09:30,799 --> 01:09:32,790 Yes. 1389 01:09:32,835 --> 01:09:36,032 Have you ever thought about fighting fire 1390 01:09:36,071 --> 01:09:38,437 with fire? 1391 01:09:39,608 --> 01:09:41,439 What do you mean? 1392 01:09:41,477 --> 01:09:45,573 I have some information that you can choose to use or not use. 1393 01:09:45,614 --> 01:09:47,013 Up to you. 1394 01:09:47,049 --> 01:09:49,279 Ron Burgundy 1395 01:09:49,318 --> 01:09:52,776 will read anything that is put on that Teleprompter. 1396 01:09:52,821 --> 01:09:54,789 And when I say anything, 1397 01:09:54,823 --> 01:09:57,291 I mean an-y-thing. 1398 01:10:06,035 --> 01:10:07,297 Arnold, cue one. 1399 01:10:07,336 --> 01:10:09,395 After the FotoMat was destroyed, 1400 01:10:09,438 --> 01:10:12,202 the bear scampered back into the woods. 1401 01:10:12,241 --> 01:10:15,142 Apparently he wasn't too happy with his color prints. 1402 01:10:15,177 --> 01:10:16,508 - Oh. - (chuckles) 1403 01:10:18,147 --> 01:10:20,115 From the entire Channel 4 News Team, 1404 01:10:20,149 --> 01:10:21,878 I'm Veronica Corningstone. 1405 01:10:21,917 --> 01:10:23,282 And I'm Ron Burgundy. 1406 01:10:23,319 --> 01:10:25,913 Go fuck yourself, San Diego. 1407 01:10:27,056 --> 01:10:28,387 (shrieks) 1408 01:10:28,424 --> 01:10:30,722 - (cup clatters) - (gasps) 1409 01:10:31,927 --> 01:10:34,418 What in the name... 1410 01:10:34,463 --> 01:10:36,397 No! 1411 01:10:36,432 --> 01:10:38,696 Nobody talks about my city that way! 1412 01:10:38,734 --> 01:10:40,793 Ron Burgundy's ass is grass! 1413 01:10:40,836 --> 01:10:43,532 (humming) 1414 01:10:43,572 --> 01:10:46,507 Nice work, everyone. Sharp broadcast. 1415 01:10:46,542 --> 01:10:48,908 Really good. Everyone on the floor as well. 1416 01:10:48,944 --> 01:10:50,969 Really a lot of hustle. I liked it. 1417 01:10:52,014 --> 01:10:54,209 - (phone ringing) - Dump out! Dump out! 1418 01:10:54,250 --> 01:10:56,377 (humming) Hello, Edward. 1419 01:10:56,418 --> 01:10:59,216 - Ron, I've got to fire you. - I've got to fire you. 1420 01:10:59,255 --> 01:11:01,246 Bing, bong, bong. You're fired, Ed. 1421 01:11:01,290 --> 01:11:04,350 Do you even know what you just said? 1422 01:11:04,393 --> 01:11:07,658 (gasps) Great Odin's raven! 1423 01:11:07,696 --> 01:11:09,687 Are you happy, Ron? 1424 01:11:09,732 --> 01:11:12,667 Veronica. She put that in the Teleprompter. 1425 01:11:12,701 --> 01:11:16,967 You're probably right, but this is bad, Ron. Real bad. 1426 01:11:17,006 --> 01:11:19,031 My hands are tied. L... 1427 01:11:19,074 --> 01:11:20,837 I gotta fire you. 1428 01:11:20,876 --> 01:11:23,344 Ed, let's hold on. Let's count to 10. 1429 01:11:23,379 --> 01:11:27,110 That's a rash decision. Is this about something else? 1430 01:11:27,149 --> 01:11:31,518 Ed, there's 300 very angry San Diego-ites. 1431 01:11:31,553 --> 01:11:34,044 San Diego-ins. San Diego-uns. 1432 01:11:34,089 --> 01:11:36,387 - San Dieg-ons. - San Diegans. 1433 01:11:36,425 --> 01:11:38,620 San Diegans out in front of the station. 1434 01:11:38,661 --> 01:11:40,424 They want Ron's blood. 1435 01:11:40,462 --> 01:11:41,861 They want to hurt you. 1436 01:11:41,897 --> 01:11:45,196 Why did you say that? Why? 1437 01:11:45,234 --> 01:11:47,725 (sobbing) Why, Ron? Why? 1438 01:11:47,770 --> 01:11:50,102 You're my hero, Ron. 1439 01:11:50,139 --> 01:11:51,504 Garth, l... 1440 01:11:51,540 --> 01:11:55,533 And you come out with stink like that poop! 1441 01:11:55,577 --> 01:12:00,344 You poop mouth! Get all the poop out of your mouth! 1442 01:12:00,382 --> 01:12:04,284 If I were to give you money out of my wallet, would that ease the pain? 1443 01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:07,483 I hate you, Ron Burgundy! I hate you! 1444 01:12:13,295 --> 01:12:16,662 Ron? Ron! I never wanted it to be like this. 1445 01:12:16,699 --> 01:12:20,157 I can't believe you did this to me! Are you happy? 1446 01:12:20,202 --> 01:12:23,899 No, Ron, I'm not! It was supposed to be a joke. 1447 01:12:23,939 --> 01:12:26,533 I mean, it's still kind of funny. 1448 01:12:26,575 --> 01:12:27,974 But it's not. 1449 01:12:28,010 --> 01:12:30,171 I have nothing left! Nothing! 1450 01:12:30,212 --> 01:12:32,407 I've been reduced to rubble! 1451 01:12:32,448 --> 01:12:35,679 Don't you know I would never say the word fuck? 1452 01:12:35,718 --> 01:12:38,278 I would never fucking ever fucking say that! 1453 01:12:38,320 --> 01:12:39,947 Ever! 1454 01:12:39,988 --> 01:12:42,286 Let's go. These people are about to pull you apart. 1455 01:12:42,324 --> 01:12:46,420 I'm sorry. Get your hands off him, you bastards! 1456 01:12:46,462 --> 01:12:48,487 Don't you know I would never say fuck? 1457 01:12:48,530 --> 01:12:50,623 - Fuck! - Move. 1458 01:12:50,666 --> 01:12:53,965 No! No! 1459 01:13:06,515 --> 01:13:08,881 Mr. Burgundy, you should be ashamed of yourself. 1460 01:13:08,917 --> 01:13:11,852 - Please, l... - You're an awful man! 1461 01:13:11,887 --> 01:13:15,721 You are truly a disappointment to us all, Mr. Burgundy! 1462 01:13:17,693 --> 01:13:19,490 Narrator : Bob Dylan once wrote, 1463 01:13:19,528 --> 01:13:21,519 "The times, they are a-changin'." 1464 01:13:21,563 --> 01:13:23,997 Ron Burgundy had never heard that song. 1465 01:13:24,032 --> 01:13:28,093 So when he fell, he fell hard. 1466 01:13:31,407 --> 01:13:35,537 Announcer: It's Channel 4 News at 6:00! 1467 01:13:35,577 --> 01:13:37,169 Good evening, San Diego. 1468 01:13:37,212 --> 01:13:40,807 I'm lead anchor Veronica Corningstone. 1469 01:13:40,849 --> 01:13:43,909 Tonight's top story: An ultrasound of Ling Wong, 1470 01:13:43,952 --> 01:13:46,147 the most famous panda in the world, 1471 01:13:46,188 --> 01:13:48,986 shows that her baby is doing quite well. 1472 01:13:49,024 --> 01:13:52,118 - No! - (ringing) 1473 01:13:57,299 --> 01:13:59,494 Ron Burgundy, stay classy. (clears throat) 1474 01:13:59,535 --> 01:14:01,833 Hello, this is Ron. 1475 01:14:01,870 --> 01:14:03,098 Hello. 1476 01:14:03,138 --> 01:14:05,936 Who's there? I'm talking. Hello. 1477 01:14:05,974 --> 01:14:07,635 Who is this? 1478 01:14:07,676 --> 01:14:10,270 Baxter, is that you? 1479 01:14:10,312 --> 01:14:11,711 Baxter! 1480 01:14:11,747 --> 01:14:13,738 Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee. 1481 01:14:14,850 --> 01:14:16,841 Is this Wilt Chamberlain? 1482 01:14:16,885 --> 01:14:19,979 Have the courage to say something. Hello! 1483 01:14:22,257 --> 01:14:23,417 Hello! 1484 01:14:26,295 --> 01:14:27,853 (yells) 1485 01:14:30,732 --> 01:14:33,200 Oh, Tino, thank you for letting me come in here. 1486 01:14:33,235 --> 01:14:35,066 I'm glad I can still get a good meal. 1487 01:14:35,103 --> 01:14:39,369 Yeah sure. Here you are, the chef made this special for you. 1488 01:14:41,777 --> 01:14:44,109 You eat that for the way you talk about my city. 1489 01:14:44,146 --> 01:14:46,080 I will not eat that. 1490 01:14:46,114 --> 01:14:48,105 You're going to eat that cat poo. 1491 01:14:48,150 --> 01:14:50,209 I will not eat cat poop. 1492 01:14:50,252 --> 01:14:53,483 - You will eat cat poo. - Ron Burgundy says no! 1493 01:14:53,522 --> 01:14:56,116 You make a fool of me and everyone here. 1494 01:14:56,158 --> 01:14:58,718 You put that cat poo in your mouth. 1495 01:14:58,760 --> 01:15:01,251 - No! - Yes! 1496 01:15:01,296 --> 01:15:03,992 - No! - Sí! 1497 01:15:04,032 --> 01:15:07,092 - I will not eat cat poop. - You will do it immediately! 1498 01:15:07,135 --> 01:15:08,966 - No! - You will! 1499 01:15:09,004 --> 01:15:12,201 - Fine, I'll try to eat one... - Get in there. 1500 01:15:12,241 --> 01:15:14,209 If I take one bite will you get me a steak? 1501 01:15:14,243 --> 01:15:17,076 If I take one bite of shit will you bring me a steak? 1502 01:15:17,112 --> 01:15:18,579 I'll think about it. 1503 01:15:18,614 --> 01:15:20,605 Yeah, get in there. 1504 01:15:20,649 --> 01:15:23,277 - Yeah, start with the end. - I am so hungry. 1505 01:15:23,318 --> 01:15:26,481 - There. - Oh God! 1506 01:15:26,522 --> 01:15:30,151 A steak. A big steak for him, please. 1507 01:15:30,192 --> 01:15:32,922 No! I had one bite. 1508 01:15:32,961 --> 01:15:35,156 - That's not enough. - Son of a bitch. 1509 01:15:35,197 --> 01:15:37,461 - You like this? - (Ron crying) 1510 01:15:37,499 --> 01:15:39,490 Oh, don't cry. Don't cry. 1511 01:15:39,535 --> 01:15:41,628 He's not crying. He's not crying. 1512 01:15:41,670 --> 01:15:45,003 - Don't cry in my... - I'll eat the shit. I don't care. 1513 01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:47,838 I'll eat the entire hunk of shit. 1514 01:15:47,876 --> 01:15:49,673 Okay, just finish it up. 1515 01:15:49,711 --> 01:15:51,178 Don't you feel better now? 1516 01:15:53,248 --> 01:15:55,876 Hey, you watch yourself, mister. 1517 01:15:55,918 --> 01:15:58,648 Hey, lady in the red hat. Yeah. 1518 01:15:58,687 --> 01:16:00,052 You smell. 1519 01:16:01,189 --> 01:16:03,157 (groaning) 1520 01:16:03,191 --> 01:16:06,524 Guys. Guys, it's me, Ron. 1521 01:16:06,562 --> 01:16:08,029 Fellas! 1522 01:16:08,063 --> 01:16:10,554 Harken said he'd fire us if we talked to you. 1523 01:16:10,599 --> 01:16:14,000 - What? - I'm sorry. 1524 01:16:14,036 --> 01:16:16,402 L... Brian! 1525 01:16:16,438 --> 01:16:18,565 - It's Ronnie! - Ron! 1526 01:16:18,607 --> 01:16:20,700 - Champ! - Ron! 1527 01:16:20,742 --> 01:16:22,733 Champ, come on. Come on! 1528 01:16:22,778 --> 01:16:24,143 Go, Brick. 1529 01:16:24,179 --> 01:16:26,340 My sweet Brick. 1530 01:16:26,381 --> 01:16:29,441 Brick, come hug me. I know you want to. 1531 01:16:31,053 --> 01:16:34,318 Ron :I am completely miserable, San Diego! 1532 01:16:37,659 --> 01:16:39,650 It's so damn hot! 1533 01:16:42,531 --> 01:16:44,522 Milk was a bad choice! 1534 01:16:51,873 --> 01:16:53,841 Yes, yes. Chris, listen to me. 1535 01:16:53,875 --> 01:16:57,174 Put down the gun and let the marching band go. 1536 01:16:57,212 --> 01:16:59,646 - We'll play it off as a prank. - (phone ringing) 1537 01:16:59,681 --> 01:17:02,479 We'll straighten it out later. I'm getting another call. 1538 01:17:02,517 --> 01:17:04,485 Ed Harken. 1539 01:17:04,519 --> 01:17:06,612 What? Oh, my God! 1540 01:17:06,655 --> 01:17:11,285 Listen, everybody, Ling Wong the panda is giving birth! 1541 01:17:11,326 --> 01:17:14,318 Get Corningstone over there right away! 1542 01:17:14,363 --> 01:17:16,354 The network is picking up the feed. 1543 01:17:16,398 --> 01:17:19,390 I want a shot of that panda being born! 1544 01:17:26,108 --> 01:17:28,599 This is Ted Nightingale, Channel 6 News Los Angeles, 1545 01:17:28,644 --> 01:17:30,271 reporting from the San Diego Zoo. 1546 01:17:30,312 --> 01:17:32,007 And this is the moment 1547 01:17:32,047 --> 01:17:34,607 the entire world has been waiting for. 1548 01:17:34,650 --> 01:17:37,881 I can only speculate as to the sex of the panda, 1549 01:17:37,919 --> 01:17:40,979 but if I had to guess, I'd say female. 1550 01:17:41,023 --> 01:17:43,287 - Excuse me. Press. - Hey, lady, watch it. 1551 01:17:43,325 --> 01:17:45,816 Excuse me, I'm press. Thank you. What do you got? 1552 01:17:45,861 --> 01:17:48,159 Nothing. All I can see is a blue curtain. 1553 01:17:48,196 --> 01:17:50,255 Veronica: Oh, damn it. 1554 01:17:50,298 --> 01:17:54,758 Go over there and see if you can get a shot. I'll go this way. 1555 01:17:54,803 --> 01:17:57,829 Hey, lady, why don't you go fetch me a sandwich? 1556 01:17:57,873 --> 01:18:00,467 - (laughing) - Okay, I'll go get your sandwich. 1557 01:18:00,509 --> 01:18:03,672 Then I'll show you the ratings where you're number two to a woman. 1558 01:18:03,712 --> 01:18:06,545 Ouch. Don't lose any more hair over it. 1559 01:18:07,783 --> 01:18:09,910 - Whatever. - We're live, Mr. Mantooth. 1560 01:18:11,787 --> 01:18:13,846 Good afternoon, San Diego. 1561 01:18:13,889 --> 01:18:16,517 We're here today to celebrate the birth of a panda. 1562 01:18:16,558 --> 01:18:19,322 ♪ Sky rockets in flight ♪ 1563 01:18:20,395 --> 01:18:24,764 ♪ Afternoon delight ♪ 1564 01:18:24,800 --> 01:18:27,234 ♪ Af... ♪ (raspberry) 1565 01:18:27,269 --> 01:18:30,500 ♪ I make fart noises with my mouth ♪ 1566 01:18:30,539 --> 01:18:31,836 (raspberry) 1567 01:18:31,873 --> 01:18:34,103 - ♪ And I like to cut... ♪ - Hey, nut job! 1568 01:18:34,142 --> 01:18:35,700 Quit the singin'! 1569 01:18:35,744 --> 01:18:37,803 Creeping out all the regulars. 1570 01:18:37,846 --> 01:18:41,976 I'm expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song! 1571 01:18:42,017 --> 01:18:45,077 Look, drunkie, you been coming in here every day, 1572 01:18:45,120 --> 01:18:47,247 stinking up the joint with your craziness. 1573 01:18:47,289 --> 01:18:49,280 Now, what the hell is wrong with you? 1574 01:18:49,324 --> 01:18:51,292 I got no heart! 1575 01:18:51,326 --> 01:18:53,624 Because a she-devil stole it! 1576 01:18:53,662 --> 01:18:56,222 You know what the worst part about it is? 1577 01:18:58,333 --> 01:19:00,324 She's better than me! 1578 01:19:01,903 --> 01:19:03,894 She's better than me. 1579 01:19:05,140 --> 01:19:07,131 You know, times are changing. 1580 01:19:08,376 --> 01:19:10,674 Ladies can do stuff now. 1581 01:19:10,712 --> 01:19:13,510 You're gonna have to learn how to deal with that. 1582 01:19:13,548 --> 01:19:16,039 What? Were you saying something? 1583 01:19:16,084 --> 01:19:18,382 Look, I don't speak Spanish. 1584 01:19:18,420 --> 01:19:20,479 Ah. 1585 01:19:29,731 --> 01:19:31,028 Scotty. 1586 01:19:31,066 --> 01:19:33,660 Scotty, I have the shot. 1587 01:19:33,702 --> 01:19:35,693 Scotty. Scotty! 1588 01:19:35,737 --> 01:19:37,705 (clear throat) Hey, uh, 1589 01:19:37,739 --> 01:19:40,708 that is some fantastic shot you got there. 1590 01:19:40,742 --> 01:19:44,143 The kind of shot that gets you to the top of network news. 1591 01:19:44,179 --> 01:19:47,580 - Oh, well, we hope. - We at public television, 1592 01:19:47,616 --> 01:19:52,053 we're really down with the woman's lib thing. 1593 01:19:52,087 --> 01:19:54,419 That is so refreshing to me. 1594 01:19:54,456 --> 01:19:56,924 Because the struggle I've... (screams) 1595 01:20:00,162 --> 01:20:03,461 - Howie, we have the shot. - (Veronica grunts) 1596 01:20:03,498 --> 01:20:05,466 Up a little. Up, up. 1597 01:20:05,500 --> 01:20:07,627 Oh. You son of a bitch! 1598 01:20:07,669 --> 01:20:09,660 Shh! 1599 01:20:09,704 --> 01:20:11,797 Don't want to wake up your friends. 1600 01:20:11,840 --> 01:20:13,535 (Veronica groaning) 1601 01:20:13,575 --> 01:20:16,339 (grunts, shrieks) 1602 01:20:17,913 --> 01:20:20,507 (snoring) 1603 01:20:22,751 --> 01:20:24,048 (hushed) Help! 1604 01:20:24,085 --> 01:20:26,679 - Simply vanished. - How do you lose your lead anchor? 1605 01:20:26,721 --> 01:20:29,212 - I can't find Corningstone. - Where the hell is she? 1606 01:20:29,257 --> 01:20:31,225 - No one's seen her. - I can't believe this. 1607 01:20:31,259 --> 01:20:34,751 Every news outlet in the world is looking for coverage on this. 1608 01:20:34,796 --> 01:20:37,822 I've got no damn lead anchor! 1609 01:20:37,866 --> 01:20:40,357 Damn it! Get me a phone. 1610 01:20:40,402 --> 01:20:42,734 I can't believe I'm about to do this. 1611 01:20:42,771 --> 01:20:44,329 (phone rings) 1612 01:20:45,607 --> 01:20:47,404 Rocky's, bar, grill, fine dining. 1613 01:20:47,442 --> 01:20:50,411 - Is there an anchorman there? - Hold on. 1614 01:20:50,445 --> 01:20:53,175 This is killing me. I'd rather slit my throat. 1615 01:20:53,215 --> 01:20:55,809 - Hello? - Hello? 1616 01:20:55,851 --> 01:20:57,819 - Is this Ron? - Who is this? 1617 01:20:57,853 --> 01:20:59,821 - It's me. Ed. - Who? 1618 01:20:59,855 --> 01:21:02,380 - Ed Harken. - I don't know a Ned. 1619 01:21:02,424 --> 01:21:04,688 - Ed Harken! - Ed! 1620 01:21:04,726 --> 01:21:06,990 - Ed, hello. - Listen, Ron. 1621 01:21:07,028 --> 01:21:10,862 Corningstone disappeared in the midst of the biggest story of the year. 1622 01:21:10,899 --> 01:21:12,958 We need you down here right away. 1623 01:21:13,001 --> 01:21:14,628 Wait, Ed. 1624 01:21:14,669 --> 01:21:17,866 Does this mean you're asking me to report the news again? 1625 01:21:19,574 --> 01:21:21,565 - Yes. - Ed! 1626 01:21:21,610 --> 01:21:23,737 That's wonderful! Thank you! 1627 01:21:23,778 --> 01:21:26,144 Ed, hold on. I want to say a few words. 1628 01:21:26,181 --> 01:21:29,480 - You have always been a good friend! - Right. 1629 01:21:29,517 --> 01:21:30,984 - Always! - Right. 1630 01:21:31,019 --> 01:21:33,544 (blubbering) 1631 01:21:33,588 --> 01:21:36,079 Get down here as quickly as you can. 1632 01:21:36,124 --> 01:21:38,115 Ed, I'll be down there. 1633 01:21:39,294 --> 01:21:41,922 And I'm going to look good. 1634 01:21:51,606 --> 01:21:55,042 Good evening. I'm Ron Burgundy. 1635 01:21:55,076 --> 01:21:57,442 Damn! That dude cleans up good! 1636 01:21:57,479 --> 01:22:01,677 If I'm gonna do this, I'll need my news team at my side. 1637 01:22:01,716 --> 01:22:04,184 (breathing deep) 1638 01:22:04,219 --> 01:22:06,346 (resounding) 1639 01:22:09,391 --> 01:22:11,382 Ron: News team! 1640 01:22:11,426 --> 01:22:14,020 Assemble! 1641 01:22:15,030 --> 01:22:16,964 (horn echoing) 1642 01:22:21,136 --> 01:22:24,663 News team, assemble! 1643 01:22:24,706 --> 01:22:26,537 (echoing) 1644 01:22:26,574 --> 01:22:28,439 Hey, Ron. 1645 01:22:28,476 --> 01:22:30,103 What's up? 1646 01:22:30,145 --> 01:22:31,635 Oh. 1647 01:22:31,680 --> 01:22:33,910 Hi. Didn't see you there. 1648 01:22:33,949 --> 01:22:37,350 We've been here literally the entire time you have. 1649 01:22:37,385 --> 01:22:40,252 I'm a little embarrassed. 1650 01:22:40,288 --> 01:22:42,415 (sighs) Look. 1651 01:22:42,457 --> 01:22:46,723 I just got the call from Harken. He wants me back. 1652 01:22:46,761 --> 01:22:49,059 But I can't do this without my news team. 1653 01:22:49,097 --> 01:22:50,724 I don't know, Ron. 1654 01:22:50,765 --> 01:22:53,461 That was half a lifetime ago. We're different people now. 1655 01:22:53,501 --> 01:22:55,469 When you left, the hurt was so deep. 1656 01:22:55,503 --> 01:22:58,097 I don't know if I can go through that again. 1657 01:22:58,139 --> 01:23:00,107 Think about what you're asking. 1658 01:23:00,141 --> 01:23:02,109 (babbles) Man. 1659 01:23:02,143 --> 01:23:03,804 Gentlemen, 1660 01:23:05,213 --> 01:23:07,511 there was a time 1661 01:23:07,549 --> 01:23:10,541 when you called me your lead anchor. 1662 01:23:13,722 --> 01:23:15,952 Will you follow me again? 1663 01:23:17,859 --> 01:23:20,054 I'm gettin' too old for this shit. 1664 01:23:20,095 --> 01:23:22,063 To the news van! 1665 01:23:22,097 --> 01:23:24,793 - To the news van! - Okay! 1666 01:23:34,442 --> 01:23:36,808 Ahh! 1667 01:23:36,845 --> 01:23:38,972 Well, I'll be. Ron Burgundy. 1668 01:23:39,014 --> 01:23:40,709 He's back! 1669 01:23:40,749 --> 01:23:43,718 Gentlemen, let's try to get in a good position for the story. 1670 01:23:43,752 --> 01:23:45,686 - How does the hair look? - Magnificent. 1671 01:23:45,720 --> 01:23:47,847 Champ : You have hair like an angel. 1672 01:23:47,889 --> 01:23:50,790 Oh, whoa, whoa. Network talent scout. 1673 01:23:50,825 --> 01:23:54,261 - Champ : This is a hot one. - Ron :I'm actually nervous. 1674 01:23:54,295 --> 01:23:56,354 - Let's go get 'em. - (Veronica whimpering) 1675 01:23:56,398 --> 01:23:58,298 Wait! Did you just hear something? 1676 01:23:58,333 --> 01:24:01,097 - (growling) - Help. 1677 01:24:01,136 --> 01:24:03,570 - Ron, help! - Veronica! 1678 01:24:03,605 --> 01:24:05,800 - Are you okay? - Shh! 1679 01:24:05,840 --> 01:24:07,467 How did you get down there? 1680 01:24:07,509 --> 01:24:09,534 Just go get someone. Please. 1681 01:24:09,577 --> 01:24:11,977 Hold on. Hold on! 1682 01:24:12,013 --> 01:24:13,605 (growling) 1683 01:24:15,150 --> 01:24:16,913 We've got to do something. 1684 01:24:16,951 --> 01:24:19,419 Whoa, Ron, I don't want to sound cruel, but... 1685 01:24:19,454 --> 01:24:21,786 There's a network talent scout over there. 1686 01:24:21,823 --> 01:24:23,916 This is a tough decision. 1687 01:24:23,958 --> 01:24:26,586 So much to think about. 1688 01:24:26,628 --> 01:24:29,096 Basically the biggest story of my career, 1689 01:24:29,130 --> 01:24:32,930 launching me to a level I've never known before, 1690 01:24:32,967 --> 01:24:34,434 or saving the woman 1691 01:24:34,469 --> 01:24:37,768 I used to have familiar relations with. 1692 01:24:37,806 --> 01:24:40,502 This is hard! 1693 01:24:40,542 --> 01:24:43,136 I am in a pickle! 1694 01:24:43,178 --> 01:24:45,544 Ron, I know it sounds harsh, 1695 01:24:45,580 --> 01:24:48,071 but God does not want her to live. 1696 01:24:48,116 --> 01:24:50,141 No. Hold on. 1697 01:24:51,519 --> 01:24:53,510 It's clear now. 1698 01:24:55,590 --> 01:24:57,581 We go into the bear pit. 1699 01:24:59,027 --> 01:25:00,016 Ron, don't. 1700 01:25:00,061 --> 01:25:01,790 (yelling) 1701 01:25:03,098 --> 01:25:05,191 (grunts) Oh! 1702 01:25:05,233 --> 01:25:07,292 (growling) 1703 01:25:07,335 --> 01:25:10,270 I immediately regret this decision. 1704 01:25:10,305 --> 01:25:12,830 What are you doing? Why didn't you get help? 1705 01:25:12,874 --> 01:25:15,274 Ron: These bears are massive! 1706 01:25:15,310 --> 01:25:17,972 They looked a lot smaller from up there. 1707 01:25:18,012 --> 01:25:20,845 Fan out. Let's go find Harken. 1708 01:25:20,882 --> 01:25:23,510 Stay calm. 1709 01:25:25,553 --> 01:25:28,886 It's all right. I think it's all right, my sweet chinchilla. 1710 01:25:28,923 --> 01:25:31,016 - Oh, Ron. - Yes, yes. 1711 01:25:31,059 --> 01:25:33,186 In case we die here today, 1712 01:25:33,228 --> 01:25:36,095 there's something that you should know. 1713 01:25:36,131 --> 01:25:39,157 That dirty trick with the Teleprompter, it wasn't... 1714 01:25:39,200 --> 01:25:42,658 Sweet Eli Whitney's nose! It wasn't you, was it? 1715 01:25:42,704 --> 01:25:45,070 It was Wes Mantooth. 1716 01:25:45,106 --> 01:25:48,041 - Oh, I should have known. - No, no. 1717 01:25:48,076 --> 01:25:50,408 - No, I did it. - You bitch! 1718 01:25:50,445 --> 01:25:53,539 - Shh! - (bellowing) 1719 01:25:54,716 --> 01:25:57,014 You woke the bears. Why did you do that? 1720 01:25:58,520 --> 01:26:00,078 (screaming) 1721 01:26:00,121 --> 01:26:03,716 There's somebody in the bear pit! 1722 01:26:03,758 --> 01:26:06,226 (roaring) 1723 01:26:06,261 --> 01:26:09,162 It took my impending death 1724 01:26:09,197 --> 01:26:11,859 for me to realize how much I need you. 1725 01:26:11,900 --> 01:26:14,232 Oh, Ron. 1726 01:26:17,539 --> 01:26:19,507 Those bears are gonna hurt them! 1727 01:26:19,541 --> 01:26:22,374 News team, let's hunt. 1728 01:26:23,811 --> 01:26:25,335 News team! 1729 01:26:28,883 --> 01:26:30,282 ALL : Bear fight! 1730 01:26:33,221 --> 01:26:35,781 Come on. Come on! 1731 01:26:38,660 --> 01:26:42,289 (screaming) 1732 01:26:42,330 --> 01:26:43,695 Damn! 1733 01:26:43,731 --> 01:26:45,722 Hit 'em in the uvula! 1734 01:26:46,734 --> 01:26:48,065 Hey, Ron! 1735 01:26:48,102 --> 01:26:50,093 I'm riding a furry tractor! 1736 01:26:51,105 --> 01:26:53,505 The bears have descended on the news team 1737 01:26:53,541 --> 01:26:55,168 and it's not going well. 1738 01:26:55,210 --> 01:26:58,236 Clearly, after today, I will no longer... 1739 01:26:58,279 --> 01:27:00,907 Come on! Oh, God! 1740 01:27:00,949 --> 01:27:03,383 It's getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous! 1741 01:27:03,418 --> 01:27:05,045 (growling) 1742 01:27:05,086 --> 01:27:06,485 Oh, no. 1743 01:27:06,521 --> 01:27:09,615 We woke up the mama. 1744 01:27:09,657 --> 01:27:12,148 (roaring) 1745 01:27:12,193 --> 01:27:13,683 Oh, God! 1746 01:27:15,163 --> 01:27:17,597 I don't wanna die. 1747 01:27:17,632 --> 01:27:19,293 (barking) 1748 01:27:23,304 --> 01:27:27,468 - Ron :Baxter! - (barking) 1749 01:28:02,043 --> 01:28:03,635 (onlookers gasping) 1750 01:28:03,678 --> 01:28:05,669 (cheering) 1751 01:28:05,713 --> 01:28:08,181 Veronica: Look! They're following their mother! 1752 01:28:08,216 --> 01:28:09,547 Ron: It's instinct. 1753 01:28:09,584 --> 01:28:11,882 Oh, Baxter! 1754 01:28:11,919 --> 01:28:16,288 Oh! Oh, Baxter, you're still alive! 1755 01:28:16,324 --> 01:28:19,725 Oh, I'm so happy! 1756 01:28:19,761 --> 01:28:23,390 I'm so happy! You are alive! 1757 01:28:23,431 --> 01:28:26,059 I'm so happy! 1758 01:28:26,100 --> 01:28:29,263 (crying) 1759 01:28:32,407 --> 01:28:33,874 I will lick you! 1760 01:28:33,908 --> 01:28:37,002 I will lick you in front of everyone to show my joy. 1761 01:28:37,045 --> 01:28:39,070 Oh. Ohhh! 1762 01:28:39,113 --> 01:28:42,207 Boy, he really likes that dog. 1763 01:28:42,250 --> 01:28:44,650 Burgundy! Burgundy! 1764 01:28:44,686 --> 01:28:47,086 Burgundy! Burgundy! 1765 01:28:47,121 --> 01:28:49,715 Burgundy! Burgundy! 1766 01:28:49,757 --> 01:28:52,055 Hi, Ron. 1767 01:28:52,093 --> 01:28:55,221 It's always a long fall from the top, isn't it? 1768 01:28:55,263 --> 01:28:56,662 Easy, Wes. 1769 01:28:56,698 --> 01:29:00,134 I've been waiting to say this to you for a long time. 1770 01:29:00,168 --> 01:29:02,534 - All right. - Deep down in my stomach, 1771 01:29:02,570 --> 01:29:04,231 with every inch of me, 1772 01:29:04,272 --> 01:29:07,070 I pure, straight 1773 01:29:07,108 --> 01:29:08,700 hate you! 1774 01:29:10,144 --> 01:29:12,544 (onlookers gasp) 1775 01:29:13,915 --> 01:29:16,281 But, God damn it, do I respect you! 1776 01:29:17,418 --> 01:29:19,409 (onlookers sigh) 1777 01:29:24,959 --> 01:29:27,951 (cheering) 1778 01:29:29,330 --> 01:29:30,797 Thank you, 1779 01:29:30,832 --> 01:29:32,322 brother. 1780 01:29:34,502 --> 01:29:37,767 Burgundy! Burgundy! 1781 01:29:37,805 --> 01:29:40,239 Today we spell redemption 1782 01:29:40,274 --> 01:29:42,265 R-O-N. 1783 01:29:42,310 --> 01:29:45,143 Burgundy! Burgundy! 1784 01:29:45,179 --> 01:29:47,010 Woman: Ron, you're my hero! 1785 01:29:47,048 --> 01:29:50,848 Ron, I think you've got a story to report. 1786 01:29:52,920 --> 01:29:54,410 Are you sure, Ed? 1787 01:29:55,456 --> 01:29:57,321 Do it. 1788 01:29:57,358 --> 01:29:59,952 It's the story you were born to tell. 1789 01:30:04,999 --> 01:30:07,490 San Diego's waiting. Go get 'em. 1790 01:30:07,535 --> 01:30:09,059 Make way! 1791 01:30:09,103 --> 01:30:12,129 Ron Burgundy's about to report on pandas! 1792 01:30:14,609 --> 01:30:16,167 Count me down. Three. 1793 01:30:16,210 --> 01:30:18,235 Scotty: You're live, Mr. Burgundy. 1794 01:30:18,279 --> 01:30:20,270 This is Ron Burgundy, 1795 01:30:20,314 --> 01:30:24,182 proudly reporting once again for Channel 4 News. 1796 01:30:24,218 --> 01:30:28,052 Today's story is one of the more remarkable things 1797 01:30:28,089 --> 01:30:31,183 ever to happen to San Diago 1798 01:30:31,225 --> 01:30:32,954 or even the world. 1799 01:30:32,994 --> 01:30:35,963 But in order to properly retell it, 1800 01:30:35,997 --> 01:30:38,329 I'm going to need some help 1801 01:30:38,366 --> 01:30:40,698 from my co-anchor, 1802 01:30:41,903 --> 01:30:43,962 Miss Veronica Corningstone. 1803 01:30:44,005 --> 01:30:46,064 (onlookers cheering) 1804 01:30:46,107 --> 01:30:48,803 - High-pressure system... - No, no, no, no, Brick. 1805 01:30:48,843 --> 01:30:50,902 - High-pressure system... - Go stand over there. 1806 01:30:50,945 --> 01:30:53,607 (cheering, applause) 1807 01:30:54,882 --> 01:30:56,281 Oh, Ron. 1808 01:30:56,317 --> 01:30:58,683 Ron, there are literally thousands of men 1809 01:30:58,719 --> 01:31:00,311 that I should be with instead, 1810 01:31:00,354 --> 01:31:03,448 but I am 72% sure that I love you. 1811 01:31:07,495 --> 01:31:10,658 (cheering) 1812 01:31:10,698 --> 01:31:13,861 Narrator : Yes, redemption was sweet for Ron Burgundy. 1813 01:31:13,901 --> 01:31:16,597 Yes! Ron! 1814 01:31:16,637 --> 01:31:20,266 - As for the news team: - Stop it! Ron! 1815 01:31:20,308 --> 01:31:23,744 Champ Kind went on to become a commentator for the NFL, 1816 01:31:23,778 --> 01:31:26,303 but was later fired after being accused 1817 01:31:26,347 --> 01:31:30,044 of sexual harassment by Terry Bradshaw. 1818 01:31:30,084 --> 01:31:32,075 Excuse me. 1819 01:31:32,119 --> 01:31:34,679 Is that Sex Panther you're wearing? 1820 01:31:34,722 --> 01:31:36,952 (howls) 1821 01:31:36,991 --> 01:31:39,516 Brian Fantana went on to have great success 1822 01:31:39,560 --> 01:31:42,085 as the host of the hit reality TV show 1823 01:31:42,129 --> 01:31:44,962 "Intercourse Island" on the Fox Network. 1824 01:31:44,999 --> 01:31:47,729 Anyone seen Brick? 1825 01:31:47,768 --> 01:31:49,759 - Brick? - Don't! That tickles! 1826 01:31:49,804 --> 01:31:53,001 No, that tickles me! Come on! 1827 01:31:53,040 --> 01:31:56,009 Brick Tamland is married with 11 children 1828 01:31:56,043 --> 01:31:58,273 and is one of the top political advisors 1829 01:31:58,312 --> 01:32:00,007 to the Bush White House. 1830 01:32:00,047 --> 01:32:02,743 I'm gonna get you! I'm gonna get you! 1831 01:32:02,783 --> 01:32:04,910 (cheering continues) 1832 01:32:13,294 --> 01:32:16,457 And Ron and Veronica didn't stay in San Diego long. 1833 01:32:20,368 --> 01:32:22,495 I chose them as my replacement, 1834 01:32:22,537 --> 01:32:25,973 and they became the first mixed-gender network news team, 1835 01:32:26,007 --> 01:32:28,271 and they're still doing it today. 1836 01:32:28,309 --> 01:32:31,403 From all of us here at the World News Center, 1837 01:32:31,445 --> 01:32:33,174 I'm Veronica Corningstone. 1838 01:32:33,214 --> 01:32:35,045 And I'm Ron Burgundy. 1839 01:32:35,082 --> 01:32:37,710 You stay classy, planet Earth. 1840 01:32:40,988 --> 01:32:44,924 ♪ Carry on, my wayward son ♪ 1841 01:32:44,959 --> 01:32:48,986 ♪ There'll be peace when you are done ♪ 1842 01:32:49,030 --> 01:32:53,262 ♪ Lay your weary head to rest ♪ 1843 01:32:53,301 --> 01:32:55,428 ♪ Don't you cry no more... ♪ 1844 01:32:55,469 --> 01:32:58,734 Oh! Great Odin's raven! 1845 01:32:58,773 --> 01:33:02,231 Oh! By the hammer of Thor! 1846 01:33:02,276 --> 01:33:05,905 Oh! Saint Damien's beard! 1847 01:33:05,947 --> 01:33:08,472 Sweet grandmother's spatula! 1848 01:33:08,516 --> 01:33:11,314 Oh! Hot pot of coffee! 1849 01:33:11,352 --> 01:33:14,788 Uncle Jonathan's corncob pipe! 1850 01:33:17,425 --> 01:33:20,326 I'm gonna shoot you with a BB gun when you're not looking. 1851 01:33:20,361 --> 01:33:22,329 In the back of the head. 1852 01:33:22,363 --> 01:33:24,854 - I'm sorry. - (crew laughing) 1853 01:33:26,367 --> 01:33:28,597 You're not very bright. You know that, right? 1854 01:33:28,636 --> 01:33:30,331 You're actually quite a dullard. 1855 01:33:30,371 --> 01:33:32,737 Everyone here knows it. 1856 01:33:32,773 --> 01:33:36,903 If I'm a dullard, you're the, uh, the dull... 1857 01:33:36,944 --> 01:33:40,175 Oh! Can't think of anything to say, can you? 1858 01:33:40,214 --> 01:33:43,183 Yes, I can. I can think of a lot of things to say. 1859 01:33:43,217 --> 01:33:45,276 Like, you're a dirty bitch. 1860 01:33:48,155 --> 01:33:50,521 Well, Ron, I'm gonna put poison... 1861 01:33:50,558 --> 01:33:52,617 (laughs) Oh, my God! 1862 01:33:52,660 --> 01:33:56,061 (crew laughing) 1863 01:33:57,098 --> 01:34:00,295 I drank a lava lamp. It wasn't lava. 1864 01:34:00,334 --> 01:34:02,734 I ate a whole bunch of fiberglass insulation. 1865 01:34:02,770 --> 01:34:07,207 It wasn't cotton candy like that guy said. 1866 01:34:07,241 --> 01:34:08,799 My stomach's itchy. 1867 01:34:08,843 --> 01:34:10,037 I pooped a hammer. 1868 01:34:10,077 --> 01:34:12,238 I pooped a tape recorder. 1869 01:34:12,279 --> 01:34:14,304 I pooped a Cornish game hen. 1870 01:34:16,984 --> 01:34:18,884 Uh... 1871 01:34:18,919 --> 01:34:20,910 (laughs) Nope. 1872 01:34:21,956 --> 01:34:23,947 You do not take a tone with me, 1873 01:34:23,991 --> 01:34:27,256 'cause I will give you a rap right on the Jack Johnson! 1874 01:34:27,294 --> 01:34:28,761 - Okay. - Yes. 1875 01:34:28,796 --> 01:34:30,559 Now this is happenin'. 1876 01:34:30,598 --> 01:34:32,225 What are you doing? 1877 01:34:32,266 --> 01:34:34,359 - Hah! - What are you doing? 1878 01:34:34,402 --> 01:34:35,801 What are you... 1879 01:34:40,741 --> 01:34:41,901 Action. 1880 01:34:41,942 --> 01:34:44,035 We'll go back to doing what I do best... 1881 01:34:44,078 --> 01:34:46,842 I guess we'll go back to doing what I do best, show off. 1882 01:34:46,881 --> 01:34:48,815 When do we get started? 1883 01:34:48,849 --> 01:34:50,578 When do we get started? 1884 01:34:50,618 --> 01:34:52,586 - That's my line. - When do we get started? 1885 01:34:52,620 --> 01:34:54,588 You say, "Whenever you like." 1886 01:34:54,622 --> 01:34:56,283 - Whenever you like. - (laughs) 1887 01:34:56,323 --> 01:34:58,348 Keep it rollin'. This is good stuff. 1888 01:34:59,393 --> 01:35:02,260 ...an area bank in a daring... 1889 01:35:02,296 --> 01:35:05,493 Probably not the same one. Probably not the same guy. 1890 01:35:13,274 --> 01:35:15,265 Ron: Brick, before I let you go, 1891 01:35:15,309 --> 01:35:17,869 are you still having your celebrity golf tournament this summer? 1892 01:35:17,912 --> 01:35:19,880 No, too many people died last year. 1893 01:35:19,914 --> 01:35:22,144 So we're not gonna do... (laughs) 1894 01:35:22,183 --> 01:35:23,912 Sorry. Sorry. 1895 01:35:24,952 --> 01:35:28,251 They named it San Diego. 1896 01:35:28,289 --> 01:35:32,020 Which in German means, "a whale's vagina." 1897 01:35:32,059 --> 01:35:34,755 (laughing) 1898 01:35:38,599 --> 01:35:41,124 This is the most ridiculous thing ever. 1899 01:36:02,223 --> 01:36:05,852 ♪ Carry on, my wayward son ♪ 1900 01:36:05,893 --> 01:36:09,624 ♪ There'll be peace when you are done ♪ 1901 01:36:09,663 --> 01:36:13,360 ♪ Lay your weary head to rest ♪ 1902 01:36:13,400 --> 01:36:14,492 ♪ Don't you cry ♪ 1903 01:36:14,535 --> 01:36:17,504 ♪ Don't you cry no more ♪ 1904 01:36:32,720 --> 01:36:34,688 (all laughing) 1905 01:36:34,722 --> 01:36:36,952 Way to handle him. That was nice. 1906 01:36:36,991 --> 01:36:38,856 It sure is good to be number one. 1907 01:36:38,893 --> 01:36:41,555 It sure beats the hell out of number two. 1908 01:36:42,963 --> 01:36:45,329 We are laughing! 1909 01:36:45,366 --> 01:36:47,732 And we are very good friends. 1910 01:36:47,768 --> 01:36:50,737 Good buddies sharing a special moment. 1911 01:36:50,771 --> 01:36:53,569 Don't say anything, Ron. Just let it happen. 1912 01:36:53,607 --> 01:36:56,633 We're laughing, enjoying our friendship. 1913 01:36:56,677 --> 01:37:00,169 And someday we'll look back on this with much fondness. 1914 01:37:01,248 --> 01:37:04,376 Yeah. (sighs) 1915 01:37:04,418 --> 01:37:05,908 (laughs) 1916 01:37:07,655 --> 01:37:09,020 Yeah. 1917 01:37:09,620 --> 01:38:09,020 ® Arun's collections ®144891