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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,751 --> 00:00:04,129 - Subs by kinglouisxx - for www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:05,422 This is cool. 3 00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:06,798 I didn't know there was a book of hundreds 4 00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:08,550 of tattoos you could pick from. 5 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,303 I want a tattoo of all the boys in BTS. 6 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:14,640 Well, there's seven of them. You'd need two more arms. 7 00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,975 What if you do four of them on Mark and then three on me? 8 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,894 And we can walk around with our sleeves rolled up 9 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,480 and put our arms together to show people. 10 00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,649 Yes, and then we can beat each other up 11 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,901 to save the bullies a lot of time. 12 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,819 Okay, neither of you are getting a tattoo. 13 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,404 It's illegal until you're 18. 14 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,535 Oh, perfect timing. Love you. Bye. 15 00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:38,330 Hey, Mom, you remember how you said you would do anything 16 00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,123 to help my career as a tattoo artist? 17 00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:42,417 Oh, yeah. I was lying. 18 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:43,919 Come on. Let me give you a tattoo. 19 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,004 I'll never get a part-time chair unless I have 20 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:48,131 a tattoo to show the lead artist by this weekend. 21 00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,217 I might be in Hawaii this weekend. 22 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:51,343 What? 23 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:52,553 Ben said he didn't want to go 24 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,179 and you said you'd sell the tickets. 25 00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:57,015 Yeah, I know. People keep pointing that out. 26 00:00:57,140 --> 00:01:00,269 I'm still thinking about going by myself, if I have to. 27 00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:03,188 Mm, well, I think you deserve it. 28 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,691 And when you get back, I'll give you a great tattoo 29 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:08,527 in exchange for my silence. 30 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,195 Wish it was that easy. 31 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,531 How can I go without telling Ben? 32 00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:14,825 Yeah, I know. It'd be lying. 33 00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:18,579 No, I'm asking. How do I do this without telling Ben? 34 00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,539 Wow, you're not giving this up. 35 00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,874 It must really bug you that Ben doesn't want to go. 36 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,209 It more than bugs me. 37 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,503 It's made me question the whole relationship. 38 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,755 Damn. Don't get between you and a luau. 39 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,551 Uh, somebody left the back door open, 40 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,553 and I just saw a stranger run out 41 00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:35,971 with the last beer in the fridge. 42 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:40,517 Now, it all happened so fast that I couldn't get a clear ID. 43 00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,771 So, uh, you avoiding me? 44 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:48,066 You haven't returned my calls in a week. 45 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:51,445 Is this 'cause you're mad that my mom talked to your dad? 46 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,738 She didn't talk to him. 47 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:53,989 She ambushed him, 48 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,490 and you didn't do a thing about it 49 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,701 even though you know what a monster she can be. 50 00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,077 Yes. 51 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,580 But, in this case, 52 00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:04,791 Godzilla finally stepped on the right villager. 53 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,628 I think she did the right thing. 54 00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,421 Telling my dad to sell his house 55 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,006 'cause he's trapping his kids here? 56 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,466 And she only did it 57 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,760 to make up for what a terrible mom she's been to you. 58 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:17,429 This is better than her helping my sixth-grade girlfriend 59 00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,264 write me an incredibly specific 60 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,099 "I'm breaking up with you" note. 61 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,935 My mom thought Lisa could do better. 62 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:27,189 Certainly hasn't had that talk with me. 63 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:31,193 Okay, look, I know my mom did it the wrong way, 64 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:34,488 but she's just trying to get us together. 65 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,782 Oh, well, if she could get us on vacation together, 66 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:37,824 that'd be better. 67 00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,451 Are you still on that?! 68 00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:40,952 I... I don't even know what to say 69 00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:42,496 if you can't get the bigger picture. 70 00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:43,955 I don't even want to talk about this anymore. 71 00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,290 I don't want to talk about it anymore, either. 72 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,125 - Fine! - Fine! Bye! 73 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,461 Okay, well, I guess I'll hear from you 74 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:52,130 when I hear from you. 75 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:55,092 Next thing you're gonna hear from me is "aloha." 76 00:02:56,635 --> 00:03:01,890 3x19 - Jeopardé, Sobrieté, and Infidelité 77 00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,840 We were really worried when you had COVID. 78 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,466 It's so great that you're back here now. 79 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:37,968 Aww, I missed you guys, too. 80 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,428 Yeah, we were worried that if you died, 81 00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:40,929 we'd never eat good again. 82 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:44,766 Oh, Mark! Mary! Dinner! 83 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,560 Oh, my God, Jackie, 84 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,937 your episode of "Jeopardy" is on tomorrow. 85 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,064 Now can you tell us what happened? 86 00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,191 Nope, not fair to the rest of America. 87 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,944 The agreement said not till the show airs. 88 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,613 Well, your heel's still duct-taped to your shoe, 89 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,157 so I'm guessing you didn't crush it. 90 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:01,616 Well, you don't know that. 91 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,243 Why do you think lottery winners 92 00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,953 keep it secret when they win? 93 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,288 They're not worried about criminals. 94 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,831 They're worried about family. 95 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:11,209 The menace within. 96 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,712 - Hey! - Hey! 97 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,046 You got out of rehab! 98 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,798 I thought that was tomorrow morning. 99 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,884 Yeah, but I wanted to sleep in my own bed tonight 100 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:21,636 so I could cuddle up with Beverly Rose in the morning. 101 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,221 You should have told us you were getting out early. 102 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,223 I was gonna wait outside the walls of the joint 103 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,476 with a cheap suit and 50 bucks. 104 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,645 Actually, there wasn't much of a goodbye, um, 105 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,940 but they gave me this plant to see if I could keep it alive... 106 00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:37,319 which isn't very reassuring when you already have a kid. 107 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,571 Oh, well, should I schedule you for 108 00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:40,781 a double shift tomorrow? 109 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:42,491 Nope. No more double shifts, 110 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,451 and school is on the back burner. 111 00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:45,577 Oh, wow. 112 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,163 So, all your motivation was in the booze, huh? 113 00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:51,082 You're missing the point, my tiny terror. 114 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:56,046 I'm prioritizing spending more time with Beverly Rose, 115 00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:59,132 working normal hours, and living a healthy life, 116 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:02,177 and helping everyone around me do the same. 117 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,596 Oh, I get it. Life before dreams. 118 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,933 See that right there? You always go negative, Darlene. 119 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:10,268 You say "dreams" like I'm giving something up 120 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,854 instead of "good for you," like Dad always says. 121 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,898 I'm positive. 122 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,609 In rehab, we'd call you a "filterer," 123 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,110 and I'm supposed to avoid you. 124 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,154 Oh, hey, your rehab was good for me, too. 125 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,365 Sounds like your head's on straight, Beck. 126 00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,576 Really, Dad? Another beer? 127 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:28,703 What's in that can? 128 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,039 Is it the foamy head of regret? 129 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,417 Is it the cool, clean taste of paths not taken 130 00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:36,378 with bubbles of guilt? 131 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,172 Based on the river it's from... 132 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,966 I'm gonna say bear pee and slugs, 133 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,425 but I'm just trying to get a buzz. 134 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:46,680 That is the classic laugh of an enabler. 135 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:49,808 Oh, wasn't that one of Batman's villains? 136 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,476 The Enabler? 137 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,228 He wasn't violent, but he would support 138 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,689 people's bad habits until it killed 'em. 139 00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,402 Dan, you probably shouldn't drink in front of Becky. 140 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:03,321 She just got here. I can't ask her to leave. 141 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,991 So, uh, Louise and I will eat 142 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,451 and drink out in the garage. 143 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:09,828 I'll join you when I'm done. 144 00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,746 You know, it only takes a few people 145 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,415 to start an AA meeting. 146 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,041 Oh, you might have to push a little hard 147 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,334 on the garage door. 148 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:19,004 Sometimes it sticks when it's double-bolted and locked. 149 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,507 Wow. Good for you, Aunt Becky. 150 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,343 I'm doing a presentation on addiction in Health Sciences, 151 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,596 and I'm going to add in family influence. 152 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,848 Why don't you just bring me in? 153 00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,350 Part of my rehab is being of service to others. 154 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:35,395 W-Well, I was gonna do a graph with a beer bottle 155 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,397 to show how your life goes down along with 156 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,858 the level of beer in the bottle, so I don't know. 157 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:43,653 That's a B-minus, maybe a C-plus. 158 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:47,365 You have a real-life alcoholic in your home, 159 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,784 and what does "alcoholism" start with? 160 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,202 An "A"! 161 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,291 Hey. 162 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,876 Hey. 163 00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:01,338 My, uh, sister's coming back to work tomorrow from rehab. 164 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,298 Spoiler alert... she's high on life, 165 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,550 and it's gonna make you want to drink. 166 00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,052 Not me. 167 00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,888 I don't need alcohol to feel good about the world. 168 00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:13,516 There's mushrooms, peyote, those frogs you can lick. 169 00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:16,728 So, um... 170 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,064 I don't know what you're doing this weekend, 171 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:22,484 but how would you like to go to Hawaii? 172 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,695 Are you serious? 173 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:26,780 Pff. 174 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,823 Hell, yeah. 175 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,075 So, uh, what? 176 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,993 You couldn't change your boyfriend's mind, huh? 177 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,914 Uh, no. I... I didn't ask him again. 178 00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,332 Ah. 179 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,919 You know what? Good for you. 180 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,629 You don't need a man to tell you 181 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,255 to go have fun with another man. 182 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,259 Great relationship advice for any situation. 183 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,302 Thank you. 184 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,262 You're gonna love Hawaii. It's amazing. 185 00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,931 I know so many cool things to do. 186 00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,933 There's this one place where you can zip line 187 00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:57,268 over an active volcano. 188 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:58,603 Oh, great. 189 00:07:58,728 --> 00:07:59,938 You do that, and I'll be swimming 190 00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,356 in a crystal clear lagoon. 191 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,025 If the volcano doesn't roast you like a pig, we'll have lunch. 192 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,364 Ah, crap. 193 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,450 "Crap," what? That's not your boyfriend, is it? 194 00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,536 I already booked us a shark dive. 195 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,246 No. 196 00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,289 It's his mom. She wants to have dinner. 197 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,291 I'd rather do the shark dive 198 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:23,211 wearing a dress made out of bloody seals. 199 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,422 Don't book that. I'm kidding, you know? 200 00:08:29,345 --> 00:08:32,554 Your brain isn't fully developed until you're 25, 201 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,390 and drinking can interfere with that. 202 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:39,144 Throw in you being on social media 11 hours a day, 203 00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:43,023 and you're gonna end up a generation of morons. 204 00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,734 So, get it together, kids. 205 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:49,654 Uh, we still have a half-hour. Anybody have any questions? 206 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,823 So, it's okay to drink as much as you want 207 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,992 after you turn 25? 208 00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,744 It's a slippery slope. 209 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,662 First, you take a drink. 210 00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,164 Then your drink takes a drink. 211 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,833 Then your drink orders 10 tequila shots, 212 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,918 and you end up having unprotected sex in a freezer 213 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,588 with a total stranger. 214 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,965 My story. 215 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,717 What a good answer. 216 00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,510 So, thanks for coming by, Aunt Becky, 217 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,262 and I'll see you at home. 218 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,681 How do you know if you're gonna be an addict 219 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,725 and not just a person who drinks once in a while? 220 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,518 Well, I don't know about anybody else, 221 00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,812 but I can tell you about you. 222 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:26,024 You've been chewing on that pencil pretty good. 223 00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,485 That's an early indication of anxiety. 224 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,737 If you don't get to the bottom of that, 225 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,781 you're gonna end up doing nitrous poppers 226 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,075 under a bridge with some deranged dentist. 227 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:39,954 My mom says I just need to play outside more. 228 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,083 Mark, why don't you help your aunt out to her car? 229 00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,375 Come on, Aunt Becky. 230 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,544 We're cutting into time for our chapter on domestic abuse. 231 00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:50,423 Ooh! A lot of domestic abuse is alcohol-related. 232 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:54,219 One of the women in my group set her husband on fire. 233 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,097 It's okay! He lived! 234 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,351 You have the board, Jackie. 235 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:02,977 "Her-story" for $2,000, Aaron. 236 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,396 She led the French against the English 237 00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:06,898 in the Hundred Years' War. 238 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:07,816 Jackie? 239 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,234 Who is Edith Piaf? 240 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,028 No. 241 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,154 Maryann or Brock? 242 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:15,949 We were looking for Joan of Arc. 243 00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:18,535 Well, there are two correct answers, then. 244 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,663 Edith Piaf, "La Vie En Rose," War of the Roses. 245 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,748 I'm sure the judges would accept either. 246 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,834 No, Edith Piaf is a French singer, 247 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,002 and those are two entirely different wars. 248 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,089 I know the histoire de la guerre. 249 00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:33,341 Uh, we're really gonna do this? 250 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,385 That's the end of Double Jeopardy!, 251 00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,929 and, Jackie, I am sorry, but you're in the negative, 252 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,348 and you're not gonna be around to play Final Jeopardy! 253 00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:43,351 Great news for Maryann and Brock... you will be. 254 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,937 And tonight, our category is... 255 00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,605 Famous Cats. 256 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,190 Make your wagers, players. 257 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,525 And we will be right... 258 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,532 Well, you were on "Jeopardy!" 259 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,033 They can't take that away from you. 260 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,786 No. No, sir, they cannot. 261 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:04,122 The important thing is you had fun. 262 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,124 You had fun, right? 263 00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,042 Fun? What are you talking about? 264 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,128 She just exploded all over national television. 265 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,881 I think I saw little bits of her on the camera lens. 266 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,632 Oop. 267 00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:18,803 Well, hold on, because you don't know the whole story. 268 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,430 Oh, hi, Mom. 269 00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,640 Why did you think you had to go on a show 270 00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,392 where you have to know things? 271 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,644 Why couldn't you just go on a show 272 00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:29,397 where you have to be naked and afraid? 273 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,900 What's the name of that show? 274 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,776 "Naked and Afraid"? 275 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:35,153 That's the one. 276 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,655 You'd think by now you'd know you can't do anything 277 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,782 you set your mind to. 278 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,911 Yeah, I still have that pencil case you wrote that on. 279 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,955 You're a small person. Live a small life. 280 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,834 That way, no one else knows when you're failing. 281 00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,421 It's like passing gas in the bathtub. 282 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,423 You should be taking showers, Mom. 283 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,175 It's easier to slip that way. 284 00:11:57,300 --> 00:12:00,470 But, um, just for your information, 285 00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,096 I was about to tell everybody here 286 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,182 that right when they went to commercial, 287 00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,017 they realized that my buzzer was broken, 288 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,894 so they're bringing me back to be on a future show 289 00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,229 to make up for their mistake. 290 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:10,188 - Oh. - Hey. 291 00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,065 It's your decision, dear. 292 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:15,777 All I'm saying is, if at first you don't succeed, 293 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,196 get the message. 294 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,781 You're a failure. 295 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,326 All right, then. I love you. 296 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,702 Bye! 297 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,294 I'm... I'm Ben's mother, Barb. 298 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,295 Oh. 299 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,297 You must be Dan Conner's girlfriend. 300 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,757 Yes, I am. 301 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,051 You're riding that rock 'n' roll horse 302 00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:43,096 till it drops, aren't you? 303 00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,723 Well, aren't you a sassy old bitch. 304 00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:46,933 Thank you. 305 00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:48,893 I think... I think it's a crime that people 306 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,770 aren't more honest with each other. 307 00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,480 Yeah, and I think it's a crime we're not allowed 308 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,191 to hit our customers, but here we are. 309 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,279 Oh, Barb, this is Louise. 310 00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,572 I see you've danced with the cobra. 311 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,741 Just give us a minute to look at the menu. 312 00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,118 I'll give you till tomorrow. 313 00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,494 That's my day off. 314 00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,331 Must be a burden being liked by everyone. 315 00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:14,168 Look, I-I should just say that it was not my intention 316 00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,587 to create problems between you and Ben. 317 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:19,340 What I was trying to do was create problems 318 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,801 between you and your father. 319 00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,261 Oh, well, the important thing is, 320 00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,596 you were trying to create problems. 321 00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,098 You know what? 322 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,767 This is gonna go a lot better if I have something to drink, 323 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,562 and since Louise is wisely never coming back, 324 00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:33,813 can I get you something? 325 00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:36,441 Yeah, a margarita, frozen, no salt, 326 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,027 slice of lime, brandy floater. 327 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,945 You'll get what you get. 328 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,968 What the hell are you doing? 329 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:05,136 Don't be rude. 330 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,305 I'm just trying to read your texts. 331 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,975 It's from someone named Jeff who is talking about 332 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,269 the two of you going to Hawaii. 333 00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,522 I-I thought you sold those tickets. 334 00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,066 That's what Ben said. 335 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,484 Uh, well, I didn't. 336 00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:22,945 And, yes, I-I'm going to Hawaii with Jefflene. 337 00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,658 Am I supposed to believe that's a girl's name? 338 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,827 Nobody does. That's why she goes by "Jeff." 339 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,749 So, you're going to Hawaii with another guy? 340 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:38,002 All right, look, it's completely platonic, 341 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:40,296 and I begged Ben to go with me. 342 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,090 Is that supposed to excuse it? 343 00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:45,093 Well, four days in Hawaii is not gonna hurt anybody. 344 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,594 Then why are you sneaking? 345 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:50,348 Because Ben wants me to sell the tickets to pay for bills. 346 00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:51,349 He doesn't get it. 347 00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,850 I'm trying to live in the moment, 348 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,352 and now you're gonna tell Ben, 349 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,229 and it's all gonna get blown out of proportion. 350 00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:57,605 No, no. 351 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,190 I'm not going to tell Ben 352 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,860 because I'm hoping that you will do the right thing. 353 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:05,113 You're looking at someone who made a mistake 354 00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,865 under the guise of living in the moment. 355 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:12,036 It wrecked my relationship with my husband and with my son, 356 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,872 and it ruined my life. 357 00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,583 Is that what you want? 358 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,962 Look, my friend died, and it made me realize 359 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:24,465 that we have like 15 minutes on this planet. 360 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:27,552 At the end, she was just trying to live her life to the fullest, 361 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,512 and that's all I'm trying to do. 362 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:32,056 Yeah, well, Ben is spending his 15 minutes 363 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:35,476 living in the hardware store to try to make this work. 364 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:39,272 How do you define "living life to the fullest," Darlene? 365 00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:43,276 Four days in Hawaii, or sacrificing something... 366 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,903 like he is... to be with someone 367 00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:48,948 who's going to love you for the rest of your life? 368 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,744 Well, if I say Hawaii now, it's gonna look bad. 369 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,419 Penny for your thoughts? 370 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,254 I lied, Neville. 371 00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,840 "Jeopardy!" isn't actually bringing me back. 372 00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,594 Here's what happened. 373 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,596 And we are clear. 374 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:13,264 Hey. Get the... 375 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,725 Aaron, I have to talk to you. 376 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:19,854 I mean, I'm sorry, but I really should be advancing, too. 377 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,314 I had every right answer. 378 00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:22,607 Yeah, but you said it after you heard 379 00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,525 one of the other contestants say it first. 380 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,277 I... It's... Okay, I think that there's 381 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:27,570 something wrong with the buzzer. 382 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,780 Could it be possible that maybe you were just 383 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,282 pressing it a little bit late? 384 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,619 Well, then, how do you explain this? 385 00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,037 Oh, yeah, su... 386 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,706 Well, now that it's not costing you a dime, it works great. 387 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,625 Look, the rules are the rules, and I'm sorry, 388 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,251 but you're not gonna advance to Final Jeopardy! 389 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,086 Just t-this. 390 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:46,589 I've been feeling this all game. 391 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:47,590 I understand. 392 00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:48,799 I know you have to be hard on me 393 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:49,967 because you're feeling guilty 394 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,969 about the obvious chemistry here. 395 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,430 Between who and who? 396 00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:56,140 In the meantime, why don't you throw 397 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,392 a couple thousand bucks into my account 398 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,353 'cause of the faulty buzzer, and then, uh, 399 00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:03,147 we can play ourselves some Final Jeopardy! 400 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:05,483 - Uh... - Come on, man. 401 00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,151 Man, ple... 402 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,986 My mother's gonna be watching this, 403 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:12,073 and I really don't want to disappoint her again. 404 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,991 How about, instead, I just walk you to your car, 405 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,701 and we'll make a little video for your mother. 406 00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,829 Yeah, that'd be so helpful. 407 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:19,830 Okay. 408 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,333 Uh, she's not really a sports person, 409 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,962 so if you could just say you're Jon Hamm. 410 00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:28,506 Sure, you got it. 411 00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:30,841 Look, just meet me outside, and, uh, you know, 412 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,301 I'll be right there after Final Jeopardy! 413 00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:33,886 Thank you, "Jon." 414 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,682 He was full of crap. 415 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:41,227 They had me in handcuffs the second I hit the parking lot. 416 00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:44,021 I should have told everybody the truth, but I was so ashamed. 417 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,274 And now I'm just gonna have to fess up and be the failure 418 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,484 my mother always told me that I would be. 419 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,696 No. Not this time. I know just what to do. 420 00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,739 Okay, text your mother this. Trust me. 421 00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,199 Okay. 422 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,618 "To my lifelong adversary. 423 00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:01,872 I am going to turn this failure into a success so big 424 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,416 that you will choke on it." 425 00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,501 "And finally be dead"? 426 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,378 No, we're taking the high ground. 427 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:08,462 Send it. 428 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,216 Oh, wow. This is amazing. 429 00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:13,467 So, what's the plan? 430 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,552 I have no idea. 431 00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,387 What? I sent it already. 432 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,763 - What do we do now? - I-I don't know. 433 00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:19,223 I mean, I came up with the text plan. 434 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,182 Now you do something. 435 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:21,767 But you don't even have an idea? 436 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,728 We'll come up with something. 437 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,813 Imagine how embarrassed you'll be if we don't. 438 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,735 Okay, she's here. 439 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,573 Hey. 440 00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:36,907 What's going on? 441 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:41,287 Becky, uh, everybody here wants the best for you, 442 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,414 but you're hurting the people that you love. 443 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,082 This is an intervention. 444 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:46,667 What? I'm not drinking. 445 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,919 That's the problem. 446 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,422 So, you want me to start drinking? 447 00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,090 No, no, of course not. 448 00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,760 We're all very proud of what you've accomplished. 449 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,846 We just want you to shut up about it. 450 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,098 Oh, I get it. 451 00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:03,768 They warned me in rehab that you guys wouldn't be as healthy 452 00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:06,228 as I am and there'd be push-back. 453 00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:10,149 So, I'm just gonna have to be really patient with all of you, 454 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:13,152 and then you can come to me when your lives fall apart. 455 00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,695 That's all we're asking for. 456 00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:17,823 Uh, oh, you know what? 457 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,367 Could you all stay here for a second? 458 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,911 I'd like to say something, and I'd like y'all to hear it. 459 00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:29,335 So, I need to confess something to Ben. 460 00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:34,006 I didn't sell the Hawaii tickets when I told you that I did, 461 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:36,634 and I feel terrible. 462 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:40,471 But Molly died, and I was thinking about my mortality, 463 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,057 and that can make you do really stupid things. 464 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,017 But I've sold the tickets now, 465 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:47,978 and I'm putting the money towards my dad's mortgage, 466 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:51,482 and I cannot wait to move in together, 467 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,692 and I love you. 468 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:56,737 Well, thank you for those very private thoughts 469 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,573 in front of your entire family. 470 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,325 I'm happy to hear that you can't wait 471 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,786 to move in with me for the fourth or fifth time. 472 00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:06,497 And, uh, thank you, once again, for saying 473 00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:09,500 that you won't lie to me right after you do. 474 00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,546 It's been a long journey back to where I thought we were, 475 00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,923 but by God, we're there. 476 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,386 Uh, okay, I deserved that, 477 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:24,223 but I have one more thing to show you how much I care. 478 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,976 Please, everybody, step into the kitchen. 479 00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:34,692 It's poker night with the newest member of our family, 480 00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,610 Barb Olinsky! 481 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:42,199 What do you say, Dan? Let bygones be bygones? 482 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,910 Sure! Nice watch, Barb. 483 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:46,912 Thanks, Dan. It's a woman's watch. 484 00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,706 Won't be when it's on my wrist, Barb. 485 00:20:51,906 --> 00:20:54,378 - I bet 25. - Hmm. 486 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:57,047 Saw you on "Jeopardy!," Jackie. 487 00:20:57,173 --> 00:21:00,009 Hope you don't fold here the way you folded there. 488 00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:01,385 Oh, Mom. 489 00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,888 Don't bite, Jackie. She's just baiting you. 490 00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,306 She doesn't scare me. 491 00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,725 All in. 492 00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:10,311 - Oh! - Oh! 493 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,354 Three queens. Sweet. 494 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:16,233 Yeah, the full Edith Piaf! 495 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,904 Wrong answer again! 496 00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:20,946 Three aces. 497 00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:24,116 Hey, Becky. 498 00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,327 Barb's on her third glass of wine. 499 00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:27,536 Get her. 37414

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