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- Subs by kinglouisxx -
for www.addic7ed.com
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00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:05,422
This is cool.
3
00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:06,798
I didn't know there
was a book of hundreds
4
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:08,550
of tattoos you could pick from.
5
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,303
I want a tattoo of all the boys in BTS.
6
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:14,640
Well, there's seven of them.
You'd need two more arms.
7
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:16,975
What if you do four of them on
Mark and then three on me?
8
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,894
And we can walk around
with our sleeves rolled up
9
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,480
and put our arms together
to show people.
10
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,649
Yes, and then we can beat each other up
11
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,901
to save the bullies a lot of time.
12
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,819
Okay, neither of you
are getting a tattoo.
13
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,404
It's illegal until you're 18.
14
00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,535
Oh, perfect timing. Love you. Bye.
15
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:38,330
Hey, Mom, you remember how
you said you would do anything
16
00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:40,123
to help my career as a tattoo artist?
17
00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:42,417
Oh, yeah. I was lying.
18
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:43,919
Come on. Let me give you a tattoo.
19
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,004
I'll never get a part-time chair
unless I have
20
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:48,131
a tattoo to show
the lead artist by this weekend.
21
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,217
I might be in Hawaii this weekend.
22
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:51,343
What?
23
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:52,553
Ben said he didn't want to go
24
00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,179
and you said you'd sell the tickets.
25
00:00:54,304 --> 00:00:57,015
Yeah, I know.
People keep pointing that out.
26
00:00:57,140 --> 00:01:00,269
I'm still thinking about going
by myself, if I have to.
27
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:03,188
Mm, well, I think you deserve it.
28
00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,691
And when you get back,
I'll give you a great tattoo
29
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:08,527
in exchange for my silence.
30
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Wish it was that easy.
31
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,531
How can I go without telling Ben?
32
00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:14,825
Yeah, I know. It'd be lying.
33
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:18,579
No, I'm asking. How do I do
this without telling Ben?
34
00:01:18,704 --> 00:01:20,539
Wow, you're not giving this up.
35
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,874
It must really bug you that
Ben doesn't want to go.
36
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,209
It more than bugs me.
37
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,503
It's made me question
the whole relationship.
38
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,755
Damn. Don't get between you and a luau.
39
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,551
Uh, somebody left the back door open,
40
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,553
and I just saw a stranger run out
41
00:01:34,678 --> 00:01:35,971
with the last beer in the fridge.
42
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:40,517
Now, it all happened so fast
that I couldn't get a clear ID.
43
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,771
So, uh, you avoiding me?
44
00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:48,066
You haven't returned my calls in a week.
45
00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:51,445
Is this 'cause you're mad that
my mom talked to your dad?
46
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:52,738
She didn't talk to him.
47
00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:53,989
She ambushed him,
48
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,490
and you didn't do a thing about it
49
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,701
even though you know
what a monster she can be.
50
00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,077
Yes.
51
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,580
But, in this case,
52
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:04,791
Godzilla finally stepped on
the right villager.
53
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,628
I think she did the right thing.
54
00:02:07,753 --> 00:02:09,421
Telling my dad to sell his house
55
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'cause he's trapping his kids here?
56
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,466
And she only did it
57
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,760
to make up for what a terrible
mom she's been to you.
58
00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:17,429
This is better than her helping
my sixth-grade girlfriend
59
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,264
write me an incredibly specific
60
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,099
"I'm breaking up with you" note.
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00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,935
My mom thought Lisa could do better.
62
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:27,189
Certainly hasn't had that talk with me.
63
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:31,193
Okay, look, I know my mom
did it the wrong way,
64
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:34,488
but she's just trying to
get us together.
65
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,782
Oh, well, if she could
get us on vacation together,
66
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:37,824
that'd be better.
67
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,451
Are you still on that?!
68
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:40,952
I... I don't even know what to say
69
00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:42,496
if you can't get the bigger picture.
70
00:02:42,621 --> 00:02:43,955
I don't even want to talk
about this anymore.
71
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,290
I don't want to talk about it
anymore, either.
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00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,125
- Fine!
- Fine! Bye!
73
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,461
Okay, well, I guess I'll hear from you
74
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:52,130
when I hear from you.
75
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:55,092
Next thing you're gonna hear
from me is "aloha."
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00:02:56,635 --> 00:03:01,890
3x19 - Jeopardé, Sobrieté, and Infidelité
77
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:34,840
We were really worried
when you had COVID.
78
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,466
It's so great that you're back here now.
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00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:37,968
Aww, I missed you guys, too.
80
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:39,428
Yeah, we were worried that if you died,
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00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:40,929
we'd never eat good again.
82
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:44,766
Oh, Mark! Mary! Dinner!
83
00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,560
Oh, my God, Jackie,
84
00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,937
your episode of "Jeopardy"
is on tomorrow.
85
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,064
Now can you tell us what happened?
86
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,191
Nope, not fair to the rest of America.
87
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,944
The agreement said
not till the show airs.
88
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,613
Well, your heel's still
duct-taped to your shoe,
89
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:00,157
so I'm guessing you didn't crush it.
90
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:01,616
Well, you don't know that.
91
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,243
Why do you think lottery winners
92
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,953
keep it secret when they win?
93
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,288
They're not worried about criminals.
94
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,831
They're worried about family.
95
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:11,209
The menace within.
96
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,712
- Hey!
- Hey!
97
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,046
You got out of rehab!
98
00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,798
I thought that was tomorrow morning.
99
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,884
Yeah, but I wanted to
sleep in my own bed tonight
100
00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:21,636
so I could cuddle up with
Beverly Rose in the morning.
101
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,221
You should have told us
you were getting out early.
102
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,223
I was gonna wait outside
the walls of the joint
103
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,476
with a cheap suit and 50 bucks.
104
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,645
Actually, there wasn't much
of a goodbye, um,
105
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,940
but they gave me this plant to
see if I could keep it alive...
106
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:37,319
which isn't very reassuring
when you already have a kid.
107
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:39,571
Oh, well, should I schedule you for
108
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:40,781
a double shift tomorrow?
109
00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:42,491
Nope. No more double shifts,
110
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,451
and school is on the back burner.
111
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:45,577
Oh, wow.
112
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:48,163
So, all your motivation
was in the booze, huh?
113
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:51,082
You're missing the point,
my tiny terror.
114
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:56,046
I'm prioritizing spending
more time with Beverly Rose,
115
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:59,132
working normal hours,
and living a healthy life,
116
00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:02,177
and helping everyone around me
do the same.
117
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,596
Oh, I get it. Life before dreams.
118
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:07,933
See that right there?
You always go negative, Darlene.
119
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:10,268
You say "dreams" like
I'm giving something up
120
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:12,854
instead of "good for you,"
like Dad always says.
121
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,898
I'm positive.
122
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,609
In rehab, we'd call you a "filterer,"
123
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,110
and I'm supposed to avoid you.
124
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,154
Oh, hey, your rehab
was good for me, too.
125
00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,365
Sounds like your head's
on straight, Beck.
126
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,576
Really, Dad? Another beer?
127
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:28,703
What's in that can?
128
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,039
Is it the foamy head of regret?
129
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,417
Is it the cool,
clean taste of paths not taken
130
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:36,378
with bubbles of guilt?
131
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,172
Based on the river it's from...
132
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,966
I'm gonna say bear pee and slugs,
133
00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:42,425
but I'm just trying to get a buzz.
134
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:46,680
That is the classic laugh of an enabler.
135
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:49,808
Oh, wasn't that one of
Batman's villains?
136
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,476
The Enabler?
137
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,228
He wasn't violent, but he would support
138
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,689
people's bad habits until it killed 'em.
139
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,402
Dan, you probably shouldn't
drink in front of Becky.
140
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:03,321
She just got here.
I can't ask her to leave.
141
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,991
So, uh, Louise and I will eat
142
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,451
and drink out in the garage.
143
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:09,828
I'll join you when I'm done.
144
00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,746
You know, it only takes a few people
145
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,415
to start an AA meeting.
146
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,041
Oh, you might have to push a little hard
147
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,334
on the garage door.
148
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:19,004
Sometimes it sticks when
it's double-bolted and locked.
149
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,507
Wow. Good for you, Aunt Becky.
150
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,343
I'm doing a presentation on
addiction in Health Sciences,
151
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,596
and I'm going to add in
family influence.
152
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,848
Why don't you just bring me in?
153
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,350
Part of my rehab is being
of service to others.
154
00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:35,395
W-Well, I was gonna do
a graph with a beer bottle
155
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,397
to show how your life
goes down along with
156
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,858
the level of beer in
the bottle, so I don't know.
157
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:43,653
That's a B-minus, maybe a C-plus.
158
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:47,365
You have a real-life
alcoholic in your home,
159
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,784
and what does "alcoholism" start with?
160
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,202
An "A"!
161
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,291
Hey.
162
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,876
Hey.
163
00:06:58,001 --> 00:07:01,338
My, uh, sister's coming back
to work tomorrow from rehab.
164
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,298
Spoiler alert... she's high on life,
165
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,550
and it's gonna make you want to drink.
166
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,052
Not me.
167
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,888
I don't need alcohol to feel
good about the world.
168
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:13,516
There's mushrooms, peyote,
those frogs you can lick.
169
00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:16,728
So, um...
170
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,064
I don't know what
you're doing this weekend,
171
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:22,484
but how would you like to go to Hawaii?
172
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:25,695
Are you serious?
173
00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:26,780
Pff.
174
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,823
Hell, yeah.
175
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,075
So, uh, what?
176
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,993
You couldn't change
your boyfriend's mind, huh?
177
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:35,914
Uh, no. I... I didn't ask him again.
178
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:37,332
Ah.
179
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:40,919
You know what? Good for you.
180
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,629
You don't need a man to tell you
181
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,255
to go have fun with another man.
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00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,259
Great relationship advice
for any situation.
183
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,302
Thank you.
184
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:51,262
You're gonna love Hawaii. It's amazing.
185
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,931
I know so many cool things to do.
186
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,933
There's this one place
where you can zip line
187
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:57,268
over an active volcano.
188
00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:58,603
Oh, great.
189
00:07:58,728 --> 00:07:59,938
You do that, and I'll be swimming
190
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,356
in a crystal clear lagoon.
191
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,025
If the volcano doesn't roast you
like a pig, we'll have lunch.
192
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,364
Ah, crap.
193
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,450
"Crap," what?
That's not your boyfriend, is it?
194
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,536
I already booked us a shark dive.
195
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,246
No.
196
00:08:16,371 --> 00:08:18,289
It's his mom. She wants to have dinner.
197
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:20,291
I'd rather do the shark dive
198
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:23,211
wearing a dress
made out of bloody seals.
199
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,422
Don't book that. I'm kidding, you know?
200
00:08:29,345 --> 00:08:32,554
Your brain isn't fully
developed until you're 25,
201
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,390
and drinking can interfere with that.
202
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:39,144
Throw in you being on
social media 11 hours a day,
203
00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:43,023
and you're gonna end up
a generation of morons.
204
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,734
So, get it together, kids.
205
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:49,654
Uh, we still have a half-hour.
Anybody have any questions?
206
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,823
So, it's okay to drink
as much as you want
207
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,992
after you turn 25?
208
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:55,744
It's a slippery slope.
209
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,662
First, you take a drink.
210
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,164
Then your drink takes a drink.
211
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,833
Then your drink orders 10 tequila shots,
212
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,918
and you end up having
unprotected sex in a freezer
213
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,588
with a total stranger.
214
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,965
My story.
215
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,717
What a good answer.
216
00:09:10,842 --> 00:09:12,510
So, thanks for coming by, Aunt Becky,
217
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,262
and I'll see you at home.
218
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,681
How do you know if you're
gonna be an addict
219
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,725
and not just a person
who drinks once in a while?
220
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,518
Well, I don't know about anybody else,
221
00:09:20,643 --> 00:09:22,812
but I can tell you about you.
222
00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:26,024
You've been chewing on
that pencil pretty good.
223
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,485
That's an early indication of anxiety.
224
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:30,737
If you don't get to the bottom of that,
225
00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:32,781
you're gonna end up
doing nitrous poppers
226
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,075
under a bridge with
some deranged dentist.
227
00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:39,954
My mom says I just need
to play outside more.
228
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,083
Mark, why don't you
help your aunt out to her car?
229
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,375
Come on, Aunt Becky.
230
00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:46,544
We're cutting into time for
our chapter on domestic abuse.
231
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:50,423
Ooh! A lot of domestic abuse
is alcohol-related.
232
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:54,219
One of the women in my group
set her husband on fire.
233
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,097
It's okay! He lived!
234
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,351
You have the board, Jackie.
235
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:02,977
"Her-story" for $2,000, Aaron.
236
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,396
She led the French against the English
237
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:06,898
in the Hundred Years' War.
238
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:07,816
Jackie?
239
00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:09,234
Who is Edith Piaf?
240
00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,028
No.
241
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,154
Maryann or Brock?
242
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:15,949
We were looking for Joan of Arc.
243
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:18,535
Well, there are two
correct answers, then.
244
00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,663
Edith Piaf, "La Vie En Rose,"
War of the Roses.
245
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,748
I'm sure the judges would accept either.
246
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,834
No, Edith Piaf is a French singer,
247
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,002
and those are two
entirely different wars.
248
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,089
I know the histoire de la guerre.
249
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:33,341
Uh, we're really gonna do this?
250
00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:35,385
That's the end of Double Jeopardy!,
251
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,929
and, Jackie, I am sorry,
but you're in the negative,
252
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,348
and you're not gonna be around
to play Final Jeopardy!
253
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:43,351
Great news for Maryann
and Brock... you will be.
254
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,937
And tonight, our category is...
255
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,605
Famous Cats.
256
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,190
Make your wagers, players.
257
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,525
And we will be right...
258
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,532
Well, you were on "Jeopardy!"
259
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,033
They can't take that away from you.
260
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,786
No. No, sir, they cannot.
261
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:04,122
The important thing is you had fun.
262
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,124
You had fun, right?
263
00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,042
Fun? What are you talking about?
264
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,128
She just exploded all over
national television.
265
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,881
I think I saw little bits of her
on the camera lens.
266
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,632
Oop.
267
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:18,803
Well, hold on, because you
don't know the whole story.
268
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:20,430
Oh, hi, Mom.
269
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,640
Why did you think you had
to go on a show
270
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,392
where you have to know things?
271
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,644
Why couldn't you just go on a show
272
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:29,397
where you have to be naked and afraid?
273
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,900
What's the name of that show?
274
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,776
"Naked and Afraid"?
275
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:35,153
That's the one.
276
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,655
You'd think by now you'd know
you can't do anything
277
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,782
you set your mind to.
278
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,911
Yeah, I still have that
pencil case you wrote that on.
279
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,955
You're a small person.
Live a small life.
280
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,834
That way, no one else knows
when you're failing.
281
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,421
It's like passing gas in the bathtub.
282
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,423
You should be taking showers, Mom.
283
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,175
It's easier to slip that way.
284
00:11:57,300 --> 00:12:00,470
But, um, just for your information,
285
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:02,096
I was about to tell everybody here
286
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,182
that right when they went to commercial,
287
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,017
they realized that my buzzer was broken,
288
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,894
so they're bringing me back
to be on a future show
289
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,229
to make up for their mistake.
290
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:10,188
- Oh.
- Hey.
291
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,065
It's your decision, dear.
292
00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:15,777
All I'm saying is,
if at first you don't succeed,
293
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,196
get the message.
294
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,781
You're a failure.
295
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,326
All right, then. I love you.
296
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,702
Bye!
297
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,294
I'm... I'm Ben's mother, Barb.
298
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,295
Oh.
299
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,297
You must be Dan Conner's girlfriend.
300
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,757
Yes, I am.
301
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,051
You're riding that rock 'n' roll horse
302
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:43,096
till it drops, aren't you?
303
00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:45,723
Well, aren't you a sassy old bitch.
304
00:12:45,848 --> 00:12:46,933
Thank you.
305
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:48,893
I think... I think
it's a crime that people
306
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,770
aren't more honest with each other.
307
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:52,480
Yeah, and I think it's
a crime we're not allowed
308
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,191
to hit our customers, but here we are.
309
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,279
Oh, Barb, this is Louise.
310
00:12:59,404 --> 00:13:01,572
I see you've danced with the cobra.
311
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,741
Just give us a minute
to look at the menu.
312
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,118
I'll give you till tomorrow.
313
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,494
That's my day off.
314
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,331
Must be a burden being liked
by everyone.
315
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:14,168
Look, I-I should just say
that it was not my intention
316
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,587
to create problems between you and Ben.
317
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:19,340
What I was trying to do
was create problems
318
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,801
between you and your father.
319
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,261
Oh, well, the important thing is,
320
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,596
you were trying to create problems.
321
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,098
You know what?
322
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,767
This is gonna go a lot better
if I have something to drink,
323
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,562
and since Louise is wisely
never coming back,
324
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:33,813
can I get you something?
325
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:36,441
Yeah, a margarita, frozen, no salt,
326
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:39,027
slice of lime, brandy floater.
327
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:40,945
You'll get what you get.
328
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,968
What the hell are you doing?
329
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:05,136
Don't be rude.
330
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,305
I'm just trying to read your texts.
331
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,975
It's from someone named Jeff
who is talking about
332
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,269
the two of you going to Hawaii.
333
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,522
I-I thought you sold those tickets.
334
00:14:16,647 --> 00:14:18,066
That's what Ben said.
335
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,484
Uh, well, I didn't.
336
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:22,945
And, yes, I-I'm going
to Hawaii with Jefflene.
337
00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,658
Am I supposed to believe
that's a girl's name?
338
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,827
Nobody does.
That's why she goes by "Jeff."
339
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,749
So, you're going to Hawaii
with another guy?
340
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:38,002
All right, look,
it's completely platonic,
341
00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:40,296
and I begged Ben to go with me.
342
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,090
Is that supposed to excuse it?
343
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:45,093
Well, four days in Hawaii
is not gonna hurt anybody.
344
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,594
Then why are you sneaking?
345
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:50,348
Because Ben wants me to sell
the tickets to pay for bills.
346
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:51,349
He doesn't get it.
347
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:52,850
I'm trying to live in the moment,
348
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,352
and now you're gonna tell Ben,
349
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,229
and it's all gonna get
blown out of proportion.
350
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:57,605
No, no.
351
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,190
I'm not going to tell Ben
352
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:02,860
because I'm hoping that
you will do the right thing.
353
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:05,113
You're looking at someone
who made a mistake
354
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,865
under the guise of living in the moment.
355
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:12,036
It wrecked my relationship
with my husband and with my son,
356
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,872
and it ruined my life.
357
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:17,583
Is that what you want?
358
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:20,962
Look, my friend died,
and it made me realize
359
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:24,465
that we have like 15 minutes
on this planet.
360
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:27,552
At the end, she was just trying
to live her life to the fullest,
361
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,512
and that's all I'm trying to do.
362
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:32,056
Yeah, well, Ben is spending
his 15 minutes
363
00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:35,476
living in the hardware store
to try to make this work.
364
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:39,272
How do you define "living life
to the fullest," Darlene?
365
00:15:39,397 --> 00:15:43,276
Four days in Hawaii,
or sacrificing something...
366
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,903
like he is... to be with someone
367
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:48,948
who's going to love you
for the rest of your life?
368
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,744
Well, if I say Hawaii now,
it's gonna look bad.
369
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,419
Penny for your thoughts?
370
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,254
I lied, Neville.
371
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:05,840
"Jeopardy!" isn't actually
bringing me back.
372
00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:09,594
Here's what happened.
373
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,596
And we are clear.
374
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:13,264
Hey. Get the...
375
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,725
Aaron, I have to talk to you.
376
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:19,854
I mean, I'm sorry, but I really
should be advancing, too.
377
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,314
I had every right answer.
378
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:22,607
Yeah, but you said it after you heard
379
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,525
one of the other contestants
say it first.
380
00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,277
I... It's... Okay, I think that there's
381
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:27,570
something wrong with the buzzer.
382
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,780
Could it be possible
that maybe you were just
383
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,282
pressing it a little bit late?
384
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,619
Well, then, how do you explain this?
385
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,037
Oh, yeah, su...
386
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,706
Well, now that it's not costing
you a dime, it works great.
387
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,625
Look, the rules are the rules,
and I'm sorry,
388
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,251
but you're not gonna advance
to Final Jeopardy!
389
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,086
Just t-this.
390
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:46,589
I've been feeling this all game.
391
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:47,590
I understand.
392
00:16:47,715 --> 00:16:48,799
I know you have to be hard on me
393
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:49,967
because you're feeling guilty
394
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,969
about the obvious chemistry here.
395
00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:54,430
Between who and who?
396
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:56,140
In the meantime, why don't you throw
397
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,392
a couple thousand bucks into my account
398
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,353
'cause of the faulty buzzer,
and then, uh,
399
00:17:00,478 --> 00:17:03,147
we can play ourselves
some Final Jeopardy!
400
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:05,483
- Uh...
- Come on, man.
401
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,151
Man, ple...
402
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,986
My mother's gonna be watching this,
403
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:12,073
and I really don't want to
disappoint her again.
404
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,991
How about, instead,
I just walk you to your car,
405
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:15,701
and we'll make a little video
for your mother.
406
00:17:15,826 --> 00:17:18,829
Yeah, that'd be so helpful.
407
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:19,830
Okay.
408
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,333
Uh, she's not really a sports person,
409
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:25,962
so if you could just say
you're Jon Hamm.
410
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:28,506
Sure, you got it.
411
00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:30,841
Look, just meet me outside,
and, uh, you know,
412
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,301
I'll be right there
after Final Jeopardy!
413
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:33,886
Thank you, "Jon."
414
00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,682
He was full of crap.
415
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:41,227
They had me in handcuffs the
second I hit the parking lot.
416
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:44,021
I should have told everybody
the truth, but I was so ashamed.
417
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,274
And now I'm just gonna have
to fess up and be the failure
418
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,484
my mother always told me
that I would be.
419
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:51,696
No. Not this time.
I know just what to do.
420
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,739
Okay, text your mother this. Trust me.
421
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,199
Okay.
422
00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:57,618
"To my lifelong adversary.
423
00:17:57,743 --> 00:18:01,872
I am going to turn this failure
into a success so big
424
00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,416
that you will choke on it."
425
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,501
"And finally be dead"?
426
00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,378
No, we're taking the high ground.
427
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:08,462
Send it.
428
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,216
Oh, wow. This is amazing.
429
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:13,467
So, what's the plan?
430
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,552
I have no idea.
431
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,387
What? I sent it already.
432
00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:17,763
- What do we do now?
- I-I don't know.
433
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:19,223
I mean, I came up with the text plan.
434
00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:20,182
Now you do something.
435
00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:21,767
But you don't even have an idea?
436
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,728
We'll come up with something.
437
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,813
Imagine how embarrassed
you'll be if we don't.
438
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,735
Okay, she's here.
439
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,573
Hey.
440
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:36,907
What's going on?
441
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:41,287
Becky, uh, everybody
here wants the best for you,
442
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:43,414
but you're hurting
the people that you love.
443
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,082
This is an intervention.
444
00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:46,667
What? I'm not drinking.
445
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,919
That's the problem.
446
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,422
So, you want me to start drinking?
447
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,090
No, no, of course not.
448
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:55,760
We're all very proud of what
you've accomplished.
449
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,846
We just want you to shut up about it.
450
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,098
Oh, I get it.
451
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:03,768
They warned me in rehab that
you guys wouldn't be as healthy
452
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:06,228
as I am and there'd be push-back.
453
00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:10,149
So, I'm just gonna have to be
really patient with all of you,
454
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:13,152
and then you can come to me
when your lives fall apart.
455
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,695
That's all we're asking for.
456
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:17,823
Uh, oh, you know what?
457
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,367
Could you all stay here for a second?
458
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,911
I'd like to say something,
and I'd like y'all to hear it.
459
00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:29,335
So, I need to confess something to Ben.
460
00:19:30,461 --> 00:19:34,006
I didn't sell the Hawaii tickets
when I told you that I did,
461
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:36,634
and I feel terrible.
462
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:40,471
But Molly died, and I was
thinking about my mortality,
463
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,057
and that can make you do
really stupid things.
464
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:45,017
But I've sold the tickets now,
465
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:47,978
and I'm putting the money
towards my dad's mortgage,
466
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:51,482
and I cannot wait to move in together,
467
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,692
and I love you.
468
00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:56,737
Well, thank you for those
very private thoughts
469
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:59,573
in front of your entire family.
470
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,325
I'm happy to hear that you can't wait
471
00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,786
to move in with me for
the fourth or fifth time.
472
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:06,497
And, uh, thank you,
once again, for saying
473
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:09,500
that you won't lie to me
right after you do.
474
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:13,546
It's been a long journey back
to where I thought we were,
475
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,923
but by God, we're there.
476
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,386
Uh, okay, I deserved that,
477
00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:24,223
but I have one more thing
to show you how much I care.
478
00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,976
Please, everybody,
step into the kitchen.
479
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:34,692
It's poker night with
the newest member of our family,
480
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,610
Barb Olinsky!
481
00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:42,199
What do you say, Dan?
Let bygones be bygones?
482
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:44,910
Sure! Nice watch, Barb.
483
00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:46,912
Thanks, Dan. It's a woman's watch.
484
00:20:47,037 --> 00:20:48,706
Won't be when it's on my wrist, Barb.
485
00:20:51,906 --> 00:20:54,378
- I bet 25.
- Hmm.
486
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:57,047
Saw you on "Jeopardy!," Jackie.
487
00:20:57,173 --> 00:21:00,009
Hope you don't fold here
the way you folded there.
488
00:21:00,134 --> 00:21:01,385
Oh, Mom.
489
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,888
Don't bite, Jackie.
She's just baiting you.
490
00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,306
She doesn't scare me.
491
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,725
All in.
492
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:10,311
- Oh!
- Oh!
493
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,354
Three queens. Sweet.
494
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:16,233
Yeah, the full Edith Piaf!
495
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,904
Wrong answer again!
496
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:20,946
Three aces.
497
00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:24,116
Hey, Becky.
498
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,327
Barb's on her third glass of wine.
499
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:27,536
Get her.
37414
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