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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:13,001 --> 00:02:15,129 ♪ Hello ♪ 2 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:18,799 ♪ I don't even know your name ♪ 3 00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:23,311 ♪ But I'm hoping all the same ♪ 4 00:02:23,378 --> 00:02:28,817 ♪ This is more than just a simple hello ♪ 5 00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:30,818 ♪ Hello ♪ 6 00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:34,879 ♪ Do I smile and look away ♪ 7 00:02:34,956 --> 00:02:38,950 ♪ No, I think I'll smile and stay ♪ 8 00:02:39,027 --> 00:02:44,091 ♪ To see where this might go ♪ 9 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:49,126 ♪ 'Cause the last time I felt like this ♪ 10 00:02:49,204 --> 00:02:53,539 ♪ I was falling in love ♪ 11 00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,770 ♪ Falling and feeling ♪ 12 00:02:55,844 --> 00:02:59,406 ♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪ 13 00:02:59,481 --> 00:03:03,509 ♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪ 14 00:03:03,585 --> 00:03:07,317 ♪ Was long before I knew ♪ 15 00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:11,052 ♪ What I'm feeling now ♪ 16 00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:18,225 ♪ With you ♪ 17 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,427 ♪ Hello ♪ 18 00:03:20,502 --> 00:03:24,598 ♪ I can't wait till we're alone ♪ 19 00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:28,302 ♪ Somewhere quiet on our own ♪ 20 00:03:28,376 --> 00:03:30,345 ♪ So that we can fall ♪ 21 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:33,813 ♪ The rest of the way ♪ 22 00:03:33,882 --> 00:03:35,851 ♪ I know ♪ 23 00:03:35,917 --> 00:03:39,410 ♪ That before the night is through ♪ 24 00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:43,322 ♪ I'll be talking love to you ♪ 25 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:45,860 ♪ Meaning every word ♪ 26 00:03:45,927 --> 00:03:48,453 ♪ I say ♪ 27 00:03:48,530 --> 00:03:53,332 ♪ Oh, the last time I felt like this ♪ 28 00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:57,600 ♪ I was falling in love ♪ 29 00:03:57,672 --> 00:04:00,574 ♪ Falling and feeling ♪ 30 00:04:00,642 --> 00:04:03,544 ♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪ 31 00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:08,174 ♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪ ♪ The very last time ♪ 32 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,184 ♪ Was long before I knew ♪ 33 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:15,656 What I'm feeling now ♪ 34 00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:22,755 ♪ With you♪♪ 35 00:04:22,756 --> 00:04:23,756 Ondertitels door Mister Bee Bart Besems 36 00:05:36,571 --> 00:05:38,699 Come on, damn it. 37 00:05:47,482 --> 00:05:49,417 Hi. 38 00:05:49,484 --> 00:05:52,454 Uh... hello. 39 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,922 That's a real sharp-lookin' outfit. 40 00:05:57,291 --> 00:06:00,193 What time is it? My watch is on the bed table. 41 00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:06,232 - Ten to 12:00? - No, no, it's 8:25. 42 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,235 The stem is broken. 43 00:06:08,302 --> 00:06:11,204 It's three hours and 25 minutes fast. 44 00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:13,503 Why don't you get it fixed? 45 00:06:14,876 --> 00:06:17,869 I was going to, but I got used to it. 46 00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,938 Doesn't it mix you up? 47 00:06:21,015 --> 00:06:25,111 No, I'm very quick with figures. Oh. 48 00:06:25,186 --> 00:06:28,088 Why are you looking at me like that? 49 00:06:28,156 --> 00:06:30,819 Why do you have to look so luminous? 50 00:06:30,892 --> 00:06:33,885 It would make things easier if you woke up with puffy eyes... 51 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:37,523 and blotchy skin like everyone else. 52 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:41,057 I guess God just figured that chubby thighs were enough. 53 00:06:41,135 --> 00:06:44,765 Look, this isn't gonna just go away. We have to talk about this. 54 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:46,831 Okay. 55 00:06:50,812 --> 00:06:53,043 Where you going? I wanna brush my teeth. 56 00:06:53,114 --> 00:06:55,049 Dorothy, sit down. 57 00:06:55,116 --> 00:06:58,814 Oh, by the way... No, please, sit. 58 00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:00,821 Dorothy, in the first place, 59 00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:03,858 I want you to know that what happened last night was the most beautiful, 60 00:07:03,925 --> 00:07:06,156 wonderful, crazy thing that's ever happened to me, 61 00:07:06,227 --> 00:07:08,162 and I'll never forget it or you. 62 00:07:08,229 --> 00:07:10,721 Doris. 63 00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:14,326 What? My name is Doris. 64 00:07:17,405 --> 00:07:19,897 Your name is Doris? Yes. 65 00:07:21,342 --> 00:07:24,403 I've been calling you Dorothy all night. I know. 66 00:07:24,479 --> 00:07:29,383 Why didn't you tell me earlier? I didn't know we were gonna end up... 67 00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,579 And then I did try and tell you, but you weren't listening. 68 00:07:34,355 --> 00:07:37,223 When? 69 00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:40,557 It was right in the middle of everything. 70 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:44,326 It was incredible, wasn't it? 71 00:07:44,398 --> 00:07:47,857 It was... nice. 72 00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:51,633 I mean, especially the last time. 73 00:07:53,274 --> 00:07:55,937 I know, I'm an animal. 74 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,479 I don't know what came over me. 75 00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:03,541 I mean, I was... what... Wait, what was wrong with the first two times? 76 00:08:03,618 --> 00:08:07,385 Well, the first time was a little fast. 77 00:08:07,455 --> 00:08:12,826 And, um, the second time... 78 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,992 Listen, I really feel funny talking about this. 79 00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:20,967 It was a very beautiful thing, Doris. 80 00:08:21,035 --> 00:08:24,528 There was nothing ugly or disgusting about what we did. 81 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,268 Then how come you look so down in the dumps? 82 00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:30,277 Because my wife is going to kill me. 83 00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:34,042 Well, how's she gonna find out? She knows already. 84 00:08:34,115 --> 00:08:37,677 - You said she was in New Jersey. - It doesn't matter. She knows. 85 00:08:37,752 --> 00:08:40,847 How? 86 00:08:40,922 --> 00:08:43,482 Was it as incredible for you as it was for me? 87 00:08:43,558 --> 00:08:47,893 Do all men like to talk about it a lot afterwards? 88 00:08:49,297 --> 00:08:51,766 Why? You think I'm some kind of a pervert or something? 89 00:08:51,833 --> 00:08:53,768 Oh, no! I was just curious. 90 00:08:53,835 --> 00:08:58,102 See, I was a virgin when I got married. Well, at least sort of. 91 00:08:59,941 --> 00:09:02,001 Sort of? 92 00:09:02,076 --> 00:09:05,513 Well, I was pregnant, but I don't count that. 93 00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:07,981 Doris, that counts! 94 00:09:08,049 --> 00:09:11,645 No, I mean it was by the man that I married. Oh, I see. I'm sorry. 95 00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:15,349 Oh, that's all right. See, Harry and me were gonna get married anyway. 96 00:09:15,423 --> 00:09:18,825 That just speeded things up a little bit. 97 00:09:18,893 --> 00:09:23,888 It turns out I get pregnant if we drink out of the same cup. 98 00:09:23,965 --> 00:09:26,366 What's the matter? 99 00:09:26,434 --> 00:09:28,960 Nothing. I-I-I-I'm fine. 100 00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,971 I'm all right. 101 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,473 Doris? What? 102 00:09:35,276 --> 00:09:38,007 I think I'm in love with you. 103 00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:46,214 I mean, it's crazy. It's really crazy. 104 00:09:46,287 --> 00:09:48,984 I don't even know if you've read Catcher in the Rye. 105 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:52,515 Oh, no, I didn't even finish high school. There. You see? 106 00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:56,587 I don't even care, and I'm really a snob about education. 107 00:09:58,366 --> 00:10:00,995 Of course, I should have known this would happen. 108 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:04,561 When it comes to life, I have a brown thumb. What do you mean? 109 00:10:04,639 --> 00:10:08,371 I mean nothing I ever do turns out right. 110 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:11,708 First time... First time I had sex, I was 18 years old. 111 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:15,341 We were in the back seat of a parked 1938 Dodge sedan. 112 00:10:15,416 --> 00:10:18,318 Right in the middle of it, we were rear-ended. 113 00:10:18,386 --> 00:10:21,185 Oh. And you didn't have any insurance? 114 00:10:21,255 --> 00:10:23,918 No, that's not exactly what I mean. I mean... 115 00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:26,187 Oh. Look, take last night. 116 00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:29,094 You know what the radio was playing while we were making love? 117 00:10:29,163 --> 00:10:31,997 No. "If I Knew You Were Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake." 118 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:34,695 So? So that's gonna be our song. 119 00:10:34,769 --> 00:10:36,704 Is it? No. 120 00:10:36,771 --> 00:10:40,765 I mean, other people would have gotten "Be My Love" or "Some Enchanted Evening." 121 00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:45,245 Me, I get "If I Knew You Were Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake." 122 00:10:53,521 --> 00:10:55,649 What is it? 123 00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:59,023 I really want to take a bath now. 124 00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:01,221 Oh, I'm so... Oh, I see. I'm sorry. 125 00:11:01,295 --> 00:11:03,287 It's okay. 126 00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:09,200 Yeah. Okay. Oh, sure. I'll... I'll wait out... I'll be out... 127 00:11:44,305 --> 00:11:47,332 Wow! 128 00:11:47,408 --> 00:11:49,400 We're in big trouble, Doris. Huh? 129 00:11:49,477 --> 00:11:52,379 I really think I've fallen in love with you. 130 00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:55,006 - You wanna know what kind of luck I have? - Yeah. 131 00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:57,881 I'm happily married! 132 00:11:57,952 --> 00:11:59,944 Are you Jewish? 133 00:12:00,021 --> 00:12:02,217 No. 134 00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:05,555 Then how come you feel so guilty? Don't you feel guilty? 135 00:12:05,626 --> 00:12:10,564 You kidding? Half my high school became nuns. 136 00:12:10,631 --> 00:12:13,465 I guess the Catholics have rules about this sort of thing. 137 00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:16,504 Oh, yeah, we have rules about everything. 138 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,062 That's what's so great about being Catholic. 139 00:12:19,140 --> 00:12:21,336 You always know where you stand. 140 00:12:21,409 --> 00:12:24,470 I tell you, Doris, I feel like slitting my wrists. 141 00:12:24,545 --> 00:12:28,038 - Are you Italian? - What's with you and nationalities? 142 00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:31,210 Nothing. You're just so emotional. 143 00:12:31,285 --> 00:12:34,084 I happen to be a C.P.A. Oh? 144 00:12:34,155 --> 00:12:38,388 I could be as logical as the next person. Oh. 145 00:12:38,459 --> 00:12:41,190 Well, you don't strike me as the accountant type. 146 00:12:41,262 --> 00:12:44,130 It's very simple. My whole life has been a mess. 147 00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:46,758 Figures always come out right. 148 00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:49,770 What are you? Oh, I'm Irish. 149 00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:53,433 Well, they're emotional. Why aren't you yelling or crying or something? 150 00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:56,306 I did all of that before in the bathroom. 151 00:12:56,377 --> 00:12:59,711 Crying? Nope. Yelling. 152 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:04,047 I didn't hear you. I stuffed a towel in my mouth. 153 00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:06,917 I'm sorry. It's all right. 154 00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:09,582 No sense crying over spilt milk. 155 00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:12,593 Yeah, you're right. 156 00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:15,960 How come we feel so terrible? 157 00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:19,865 Because we're two decent, honest people, and this thing is tearing us apart. 158 00:13:19,934 --> 00:13:22,733 I mean, I know it wasn't our fault, but I... 159 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:26,604 I keep seeing the faces of my children and the look of betrayal in their eyes. 160 00:13:26,674 --> 00:13:29,337 I keep thinking about my marriage vows, 161 00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:32,380 the trust my wife has placed in me... 162 00:13:32,446 --> 00:13:36,406 and all the experiences we've shared together. 163 00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:38,715 And you know the worst part of it all? 164 00:13:38,786 --> 00:13:40,948 What? 165 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:45,516 While I'm thinking all this, 166 00:13:45,593 --> 00:13:48,188 I have this fantastic hard-on. 167 00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:55,500 I really wish you hadn't said that. 168 00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:58,334 I'm sorry. I think we should be totally honest with each other. 169 00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:01,569 It's not that. It's that I have to go to confession. 170 00:14:08,549 --> 00:14:10,541 You know... 171 00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:14,714 W-We're both crazy. You know that, don't you? 172 00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:19,692 I mean, this sort of thing happens every day to millions of people. 173 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:24,755 You don't use actual names in confession, do you? No. 174 00:14:34,942 --> 00:14:37,036 Doris, may I ask you something? 175 00:14:37,111 --> 00:14:40,081 Sure. 176 00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:42,776 Would you go to bed with me again? 177 00:14:42,850 --> 00:14:45,183 Oh, George, I can't. 178 00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:48,245 Why not? 'Cause we'd just feel worse afterwards. 179 00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:51,383 Oh, no. I'm over that now. I just remembered something. 180 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,950 What? The Russians have the bomb. 181 00:14:54,028 --> 00:14:56,395 We could all be dead tomorrow. 182 00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:59,262 George, I think you're clutching at straws. 183 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,132 Doris, don't you understand? No. 184 00:15:02,203 --> 00:15:05,002 We're two grown-up people. 185 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:09,442 We have absolutely nothing to be ashamed or afraid of. 186 00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:18,252 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 187 00:15:18,319 --> 00:15:20,948 What are we gonna do? 188 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,616 What are we gonna do? 189 00:15:23,691 --> 00:15:25,887 Uh... Coming! My hat. My bag. 190 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,259 What? My hat! My bag! 191 00:15:30,064 --> 00:15:32,056 Be right there. 192 00:15:33,968 --> 00:15:36,233 Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Where are you going? 193 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,075 Okay. 194 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:44,941 - Don't go in the bathroom. - Why not? 195 00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:48,244 That's the first place they'd look. 196 00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,307 Oh! 197 00:15:57,191 --> 00:15:59,990 Oh, hello. Oh, good morning, Mr. Peters. 198 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:02,746 I've got your breakfast. Did you have a good night? 199 00:16:02,770 --> 00:16:03,690 Yes. Fine, fine. 200 00:16:03,764 --> 00:16:07,758 Uh, y-you know, I think I heard an owl out here. 201 00:16:22,616 --> 00:16:27,054 I'm a C. P.A. When you work hard all year, it's great to get back to nature. 202 00:16:27,121 --> 00:16:29,784 I really loved it. That's right. 203 00:16:29,857 --> 00:16:33,385 Well, thank you, Mr. Chalmers. You're welcome. 204 00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,554 Have a nice day, now. Thank you. You too. 205 00:16:35,629 --> 00:16:38,861 - Enjoy the view. - Yes, I will. I'll just - wander around by myself. 206 00:16:44,538 --> 00:16:46,473 Doris? 207 00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:52,903 Doris? 208 00:16:56,884 --> 00:16:59,285 Have you got a woman in there? 209 00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:04,525 It's okay. It was old Mr. Chalmers with my breakfast. 210 00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:08,358 I was very calm. He didn't suspect a thing. He didn't ask about the girdle. 211 00:17:08,429 --> 00:17:11,399 - What? - Girdle. 212 00:17:13,734 --> 00:17:15,669 Oh, great! 213 00:17:15,736 --> 00:17:18,205 Now he probably thinks I'm a homo. Oh, well. 214 00:17:18,272 --> 00:17:21,538 What do you care? I stay here every year. 215 00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:24,009 Oh, yeah? How come? 216 00:17:24,078 --> 00:17:26,877 I have a friend who went into the wine business near here. 217 00:17:26,947 --> 00:17:31,282 I fly out the same weekend every year to do his books. From New Jersey? 218 00:17:31,352 --> 00:17:34,049 He was my first client. It's sort of a sentimental thing. 219 00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:36,113 Oh, I see. 220 00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:42,624 Uh, Doris, I'd like to tell you something. Okay. 221 00:17:42,696 --> 00:17:45,632 You probably think I do this sort of thing all the time. 222 00:17:45,699 --> 00:17:49,397 I know I must appear very smooth and glib and sexual. 223 00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:53,566 But since I've been married, this is the very first time I've done this. 224 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:58,635 Ah, sure. Don't worry. I could tell. 225 00:17:58,712 --> 00:18:02,308 Listen, would you mind if I had a little of your breakfast? 226 00:18:02,383 --> 00:18:05,285 Sure. I'm not hungry. Thank you. 227 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:09,881 Even when I was single, I was no good at quick, superficial affairs. 228 00:18:09,957 --> 00:18:12,859 I always had to like the person... What do you mean, you could tell? 229 00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:16,419 In what way could you tell? - What? Oh. 230 00:18:16,497 --> 00:18:18,693 Uh, well, it was just little things, 231 00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:22,100 you know, like when you tried to take your pants off over your shoes... 232 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:25,936 and t... tripped and hit your head on the coffee table. 233 00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:28,805 Just little things like that. 234 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,471 It's great to be totally honest with another person, isn't it? 235 00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,847 It sure is. 236 00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:39,978 Doris, I haven't been totally honest with you. You haven't? 237 00:18:41,889 --> 00:18:45,985 - I told you I was a married man with two children. - You're not? 238 00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:49,987 I'm a married man with three children. 239 00:18:52,633 --> 00:18:55,831 I thought it would make me seem less married. 240 00:18:55,903 --> 00:18:59,499 All right, I didn't think it through, all right? 241 00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:03,408 There's been like a lead weight inside me all morning. 242 00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:06,743 I mean, denying little Debbie like that! 243 00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:13,016 I was under a certain stress or I wouldn't have done it. 244 00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:16,784 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Y-You understand? 245 00:19:16,857 --> 00:19:20,885 Sure. We all do dopey things sometimes. 246 00:19:25,866 --> 00:19:28,859 Well... 247 00:19:28,936 --> 00:19:31,701 I really should be going. 248 00:19:31,772 --> 00:19:34,708 The nuns are gonna be wondering what happened to me. 249 00:19:39,413 --> 00:19:43,316 Nuns? Did you say nuns? 250 00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,945 Yeah, somehow it just didn't seem right to bring up last night, 251 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:51,151 but I was on my way to retreat. 252 00:19:51,225 --> 00:19:53,319 Retreat? Yeah. 253 00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:55,328 See, it's right near here. 254 00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:59,059 I go every year at this time when Harry takes the kids to Bakersfield. 255 00:19:59,132 --> 00:20:01,397 What's in Bakersfield? His mother. 256 00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:03,403 It's her birthday. 257 00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:07,202 Doesn't she mind that you don't go? No, she hates me. 258 00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:10,972 'Cause I got pregnant. Her son had something to do with that. 259 00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:14,037 Yeah, she blocks that out of her mind. 260 00:20:14,114 --> 00:20:16,606 See, he was in his first year of dental college... 261 00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:20,814 and he had to quit and take a job selling waterless cooking. 262 00:20:20,888 --> 00:20:24,256 So now every year on her birthday, I just go on retreat. 263 00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,259 To think about God? 264 00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:29,660 Well, him too, sure, but also about myself... 265 00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:33,633 'cause, see, I got pregnant when I was just 18, 266 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:37,296 so I've never really had any time to just think. 267 00:20:37,371 --> 00:20:40,102 You know, I mean, about, 268 00:20:40,173 --> 00:20:43,143 well, what I think about. 269 00:20:44,478 --> 00:20:47,243 Never mind. I don't know what I'm trying to say. 270 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:50,876 Sometimes I think I'm crazy. Why? 271 00:20:50,951 --> 00:20:54,388 Oh. Well, 272 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,923 okay, like, take my life. 273 00:20:56,990 --> 00:21:01,724 Now, we live in a two-bedroom duplex in downtown Oakland, 274 00:21:01,795 --> 00:21:05,232 and we have a 1948 Studebaker, 275 00:21:05,299 --> 00:21:07,894 a blond, three-piece dinette set, 276 00:21:07,968 --> 00:21:09,903 Motorola TV. 277 00:21:09,970 --> 00:21:12,530 We go bowling at least once a week. 278 00:21:12,606 --> 00:21:15,633 I mean, what more could anyone ask for? 279 00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:18,770 But sometimes... 280 00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,905 things get me down. 281 00:21:20,981 --> 00:21:24,145 Oh, I don't know. It's dumb. 282 00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:29,820 I don't think it's dumb. 283 00:21:29,890 --> 00:21:32,325 You don't? No. 284 00:21:35,095 --> 00:21:39,430 You know, I can really talk to you. 285 00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:41,434 It's just amazing. 286 00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:45,666 I find myself saying things to you that I didn't even know I thought. 287 00:21:45,739 --> 00:21:48,937 I noticed that yesterday right after we met in the restaurant. 288 00:21:49,009 --> 00:21:51,501 We had instant rapport. Did you notice that too? 289 00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:55,572 No, but I know we really hit it off. 290 00:21:55,649 --> 00:21:59,279 See, Harry's not much of a talker, you know. 291 00:21:59,353 --> 00:22:02,619 How 'bout your wife? Do you two get to talk a lot? 292 00:22:05,459 --> 00:22:08,224 Uh... Uh, Doris, it's only natural... 293 00:22:08,295 --> 00:22:11,288 that we should be curious about each other's husband and wife, 294 00:22:11,365 --> 00:22:14,460 but-but rather than dwelling on it and letting it spoil everything, 295 00:22:14,534 --> 00:22:16,696 why... why don't we... Why don't we do this? 296 00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:19,001 I'll tell you two stories about my wife... 297 00:22:19,072 --> 00:22:22,065 One showing the worst side of her, the other showing the best side of her. 298 00:22:22,142 --> 00:22:24,782 You do the same thing about your husband, and then let's forget it. 299 00:22:24,811 --> 00:22:26,905 Okay. I'll go first. 300 00:22:26,980 --> 00:22:28,972 I'll start with the worst side. Okay. 301 00:22:29,049 --> 00:22:33,316 Phyllis knows about us. Oh, you said that before. How could she know? 302 00:22:33,387 --> 00:22:36,983 She's got this thing in her head! Like a plate? 303 00:22:37,057 --> 00:22:41,654 A plate? Oh, my uncle has one of those. 304 00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:43,754 He was wounded in the war, 305 00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:46,664 and they put this steel plate in his head. 306 00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:51,068 Now he says he can always tell when it's going to rain. 307 00:22:54,007 --> 00:22:56,476 I'm in big trouble, Doris. Why? 308 00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:59,877 Because I find everything you say absolutely fascinating. 309 00:22:59,946 --> 00:23:03,644 Come on! Tell me about your wife's steel plate. 310 00:23:03,717 --> 00:23:08,280 No, no, it's not a plate. It's more like a bell. A bell. 311 00:23:08,355 --> 00:23:10,137 I could be a million miles away. If I look 312 00:23:10,161 --> 00:23:12,053 at another woman, it goes off like an alarm. 313 00:23:12,125 --> 00:23:14,060 Oh, I see. 314 00:23:14,127 --> 00:23:18,758 I just know that last night at exactly 1:22 a.m., she sat bolt upright in bed... 315 00:23:18,832 --> 00:23:22,599 with her head going ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! 316 00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:24,604 How do you know it was 1:22? 317 00:23:24,671 --> 00:23:27,607 Because I have peripheral vision, and I noticed my watch said 4:47. 318 00:23:27,674 --> 00:23:30,576 Oh. 319 00:23:30,644 --> 00:23:34,775 Well, okay, now, tell me, um, something nice about her. 320 00:23:38,618 --> 00:23:41,611 Well... she made me believe in myself. 321 00:23:43,523 --> 00:23:47,517 It's probably hard for you to imagine this, but there was a time I was very insecure. 322 00:23:47,594 --> 00:23:52,032 How did she do that... make you believe in yourself? 323 00:23:52,099 --> 00:23:54,034 She married me. 324 00:23:54,101 --> 00:23:57,230 Oh. Yes, well, that was very nice of her. 325 00:23:57,304 --> 00:24:00,536 Oh, no, no, no. I meant bolstering you up and all, you know? 326 00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:04,009 Okay, your turn. Tell me the worst story first. 327 00:24:04,077 --> 00:24:06,069 Okay. Um... 328 00:24:08,749 --> 00:24:11,082 Ooh, this is hard. To pick one? 329 00:24:11,151 --> 00:24:13,177 No, to think of one. 330 00:24:13,253 --> 00:24:16,621 See, Harry's the salt of the earth. Everybody says so. 331 00:24:16,690 --> 00:24:19,683 Look, you owe me at least one rotten story. 332 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,752 Oh, okay. 333 00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:25,230 Uh... 334 00:24:25,298 --> 00:24:29,394 Well, I don't know. This isn't really rotten, but... Okay? 335 00:24:29,469 --> 00:24:31,461 All right. 336 00:24:31,538 --> 00:24:34,702 Now, this was on our fourth anniversary. 337 00:24:34,775 --> 00:24:37,973 We decided that we'd have some people over to help celebrate. 338 00:24:38,044 --> 00:24:41,014 So Harry doesn't usually drink, 339 00:24:41,081 --> 00:24:45,075 but that night he had three beers. 340 00:24:45,152 --> 00:24:47,815 It was after the Gillette fights. 341 00:24:49,990 --> 00:24:53,154 Well, I just overheard him talking to some of the guys, 342 00:24:53,226 --> 00:24:55,286 and he said that his... 343 00:24:55,362 --> 00:24:58,560 His time in the army were the best years of his life. 344 00:24:58,632 --> 00:25:03,730 What's wrong with that? A lot of guys feel that way about the service. 345 00:25:03,804 --> 00:25:05,739 Harry was in the army for four years, 346 00:25:05,806 --> 00:25:09,208 and three of 'em were spent in a Japanese prison camp! 347 00:25:12,946 --> 00:25:15,939 Okay. Now do you want to hear the story about the good side of him? 348 00:25:16,016 --> 00:25:18,247 Not particularly. Aw, come on. You have to. 349 00:25:18,318 --> 00:25:21,311 I don't want you to get the wrong impression of him. Okay, if you insist. 350 00:25:21,388 --> 00:25:24,381 I do. Okay. 351 00:25:24,457 --> 00:25:27,655 Harry's this, like, big, heavyset kind of guy, you know... 352 00:25:27,727 --> 00:25:30,492 I really wish you hadn't told me that. Why? 353 00:25:30,564 --> 00:25:34,126 Oh! No, don't worry. He's gentle as a puppy. 354 00:25:34,201 --> 00:25:37,365 Anyway, uh, last year he got this great idea... 355 00:25:37,437 --> 00:25:39,929 that he'd take Tony out to fly a kite. 356 00:25:40,006 --> 00:25:41,941 See, Tony's our four-year-old. 357 00:25:42,008 --> 00:25:45,536 And so they went out to the park to fly a kite, but there wasn't any wind. 358 00:25:45,612 --> 00:25:49,777 So it's about an hour later, and I was on my way home from the laundromat. 359 00:25:49,850 --> 00:25:51,785 I passed by... 360 00:25:51,852 --> 00:25:55,016 and I see Tony sound asleep in the car. 361 00:25:55,088 --> 00:25:57,114 I look out in the park. 362 00:25:57,190 --> 00:25:59,921 There's Harry all alone in the park, 363 00:25:59,993 --> 00:26:02,360 all red in the face and out of breath, 364 00:26:02,429 --> 00:26:04,989 and he's just pounding up and down... 365 00:26:05,065 --> 00:26:09,696 with this huge kite dragging on the ground behind him. 366 00:26:11,605 --> 00:26:15,167 Oh, I don't know. It just really got to me. 367 00:26:15,876 --> 00:26:17,469 Yeah, I know. 368 00:26:17,544 --> 00:26:20,810 Helen has some nice qualities too. Who's Helen? 369 00:26:20,881 --> 00:26:22,873 My wife. 370 00:26:22,949 --> 00:26:25,783 You said her name was Phyllis. 371 00:26:28,121 --> 00:26:31,148 I know. I lied. 372 00:26:31,224 --> 00:26:34,388 Phyllis! Helen! What's the difference? I'm married! 373 00:26:34,461 --> 00:26:37,727 Look, I was nervous. I was afraid you'd try to look me up or something. 374 00:26:37,797 --> 00:26:41,131 I didn't want to leave any clues. 375 00:26:41,201 --> 00:26:45,036 Is your name really George? Well, of course it is. 376 00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:48,269 You think I'd lie about my own name? 377 00:26:48,341 --> 00:26:51,971 Yes. That would be crazy! 378 00:26:53,013 --> 00:26:56,006 Well, you're pretty crazy. 379 00:27:00,754 --> 00:27:02,746 It's funny, isn't it? 380 00:27:04,257 --> 00:27:07,785 Here we are in a hotel room, gazing into each other's eyes. 381 00:27:07,861 --> 00:27:12,526 We're both married, and we have six kids between us. 382 00:27:12,599 --> 00:27:15,763 Do you have any pictures? 383 00:27:17,170 --> 00:27:19,162 What? Pictures of your kids. 384 00:27:19,239 --> 00:27:22,141 Yeah, but I don't think this is the time or place. 385 00:27:22,208 --> 00:27:25,940 Come on, come on. If you show me yours, I'll show you mine. 386 00:27:26,012 --> 00:27:29,972 I keep mine in this little folder we got free from Kodak. 387 00:27:30,050 --> 00:27:33,316 Where's yours? You have to take the whole wallet. 388 00:27:40,026 --> 00:27:42,086 Ahh! 389 00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:44,563 Ohh. 390 00:27:44,631 --> 00:27:47,965 Is that the oldest one with the glasses and baggy tights? 391 00:27:48,034 --> 00:27:51,027 Yeah, that's Michael. Funny-looking kid, isn't he? 392 00:27:51,104 --> 00:27:54,336 No. What does he wanna be, Superman? 393 00:27:54,407 --> 00:27:56,501 No, Peter Pan. 394 00:27:56,576 --> 00:27:58,568 I'm kinda worried about him. 395 00:28:01,147 --> 00:28:03,582 Why is this one's face all scrunched up? 396 00:28:03,650 --> 00:28:06,142 That's Paul. That was taken on a roller coaster. 397 00:28:06,219 --> 00:28:08,313 Isn't it natural looking? 398 00:28:08,388 --> 00:28:11,586 Right after that he threw up. 399 00:28:11,658 --> 00:28:14,822 Yeah, he's really, um... 400 00:28:14,894 --> 00:28:18,331 I guess he... I guess he takes after Harry. 401 00:28:18,398 --> 00:28:20,333 No, both of us, really. 402 00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:23,734 What's your little girl's name? Debbie. 403 00:28:23,803 --> 00:28:27,083 That was on her second birthday. We were trying to get her to blow out the candles. 404 00:28:27,107 --> 00:28:32,102 She's got her hand in the cake. Neat is not her strong suit. 405 00:28:34,047 --> 00:28:35,982 Ohh. 406 00:28:36,049 --> 00:28:38,712 You have great-looking kids, George. 407 00:28:38,785 --> 00:28:40,777 Thank you. So do you. 408 00:28:40,854 --> 00:28:42,846 Thank you. 409 00:29:24,264 --> 00:29:28,258 Okay, but this is the last time. 410 00:29:36,609 --> 00:29:38,771 ♪ Hello ♪ 411 00:29:38,845 --> 00:29:42,782 ♪ The seasons have come and gone ♪ 412 00:29:42,849 --> 00:29:46,752 ♪ And the world goes tumbling on ♪ 413 00:29:46,820 --> 00:29:52,452 ♪ Look what's happened since I last saw your smile ♪ 414 00:29:52,525 --> 00:29:54,551 ♪ Hello ♪ 415 00:29:54,627 --> 00:29:58,723 ♪ Love's invited us back here ♪ 416 00:29:58,798 --> 00:30:02,565 ♪ The same as she did last year ♪ 417 00:30:02,635 --> 00:30:04,900 ♪ To come and spend ♪ 418 00:30:04,971 --> 00:30:07,736 ♪ A while ♪ 419 00:30:07,807 --> 00:30:12,768 ♪ And the last time I felt like this ♪ ♪ The very last time ♪ 420 00:30:12,846 --> 00:30:15,008 ♪ I was falling in love ♪ 421 00:30:15,081 --> 00:30:17,312 ♪ I was falling ♪ 422 00:30:17,383 --> 00:30:19,545 Falling and feeling ♪ 423 00:30:19,619 --> 00:30:23,181 ♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪ 424 00:30:23,256 --> 00:30:27,921 ♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪ ♪ The very last time ♪ 425 00:30:27,994 --> 00:30:30,259 ♪ Was long before I knew ♪ 426 00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:33,198 ♪ What I'm feeling ♪ 427 00:30:34,300 --> 00:30:39,000 ♪ What I'm feeling now with you♪♪ 428 00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:42,601 Be sure and tell me before you come out. 429 00:30:42,675 --> 00:30:44,667 Right now. Wait a minute. Not yet. 430 00:30:46,913 --> 00:30:50,748 I'm getting bored. Okay, come on out. 431 00:30:50,817 --> 00:30:54,413 ♪♪ ♪ If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake ♪ 432 00:30:54,487 --> 00:30:57,013 ♪ Baked a cake Baked a cake ♪ 433 00:30:57,090 --> 00:30:59,525 ♪ If I knew you were coming I'd have baked a cake ♪ 434 00:30:59,592 --> 00:31:02,027 ♪ How do you do How do you do How do you do♪♪ 435 00:31:02,095 --> 00:31:05,088 That's wonderful. 436 00:31:05,165 --> 00:31:08,067 Happy anniversary, darling. 437 00:31:15,475 --> 00:31:19,037 Blow out the candles and make a wish. All right. 438 00:31:21,281 --> 00:31:25,048 What'd you wish? I only have one wish. 439 00:31:25,118 --> 00:31:28,088 What? That you keep on showing up here every year. 440 00:31:30,757 --> 00:31:33,249 What? You hate my hair, don't you? 441 00:31:33,326 --> 00:31:35,795 I told you, I love your hair. Really? 442 00:31:35,862 --> 00:31:40,596 I don't know. Next time I'm going to go into the city to get it done. 443 00:31:40,667 --> 00:31:44,160 How are the suburbs? Oh, muddy, mostly. 444 00:31:44,237 --> 00:31:48,038 Right now everyone's very excited. 445 00:31:48,107 --> 00:31:51,771 Next week they're gonna connect the sewers. 446 00:31:56,349 --> 00:32:01,151 It's not exactly the life of Scott and Zelda, but we're surviving. 447 00:32:01,221 --> 00:32:03,713 Uh, let's go over there. 448 00:32:03,790 --> 00:32:06,954 Scott and Zelda, huh? You started reading. 449 00:32:07,026 --> 00:32:09,188 Oh, you don't know the half of it. 450 00:32:09,262 --> 00:32:12,096 I've joined the Book of the Month Club. Good for you! 451 00:32:12,165 --> 00:32:15,499 Sometimes I even take the alternate selections. 452 00:32:15,568 --> 00:32:19,232 Thank you. 453 00:32:19,305 --> 00:32:21,399 Good evening, Mr. Peters, ma'am. 454 00:32:21,474 --> 00:32:23,443 Hello, Mr. Chalmers. Nice to see you again. 455 00:32:23,509 --> 00:32:25,501 Good to be back. 456 00:32:30,950 --> 00:32:33,749 Well, how 'bout you? Are you still in New Jersey? 457 00:32:33,820 --> 00:32:35,755 No. We moved to Connecticut. Really? 458 00:32:35,822 --> 00:32:39,418 We bought a barn and converted it. Oh, what's it like? 459 00:32:39,492 --> 00:32:42,223 Drafty. 460 00:32:42,295 --> 00:32:45,288 Helen's got the decorating bug now. 461 00:32:45,365 --> 00:32:48,028 I have this mental picture of her at my funeral, 462 00:32:48,101 --> 00:32:51,094 as they're closing the lid to my coffin, throwing in two fabric swatches... 463 00:32:51,170 --> 00:32:55,938 and yelling out, "Which one do you like?" 464 00:32:56,009 --> 00:32:59,946 That's the bad story about her. What else is new? 465 00:33:00,013 --> 00:33:01,948 Oh, how's Michael? 466 00:33:02,015 --> 00:33:05,349 Crazy as ever. 467 00:33:05,418 --> 00:33:09,082 He had this homework assignment to write about what he did on his summer vacation. 468 00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:11,852 Trouble was, he wrote what he actually did. What? 469 00:33:11,924 --> 00:33:14,052 Tried to get laid. 470 00:33:14,127 --> 00:33:18,292 He wrote in great comic detail about his unfortunate tendency... 471 00:33:18,364 --> 00:33:22,859 to get an erection on all forms of public transportation. 472 00:33:22,935 --> 00:33:25,666 The school almost suspended him. 473 00:33:25,738 --> 00:33:28,037 You're crazy about him, aren't you? 474 00:33:28,107 --> 00:33:31,566 He's a very weird kid, Doris. 475 00:33:31,644 --> 00:33:35,581 You know what? I think that one really gets to you. 476 00:33:35,648 --> 00:33:38,584 Come on, now. Admit it. 477 00:33:41,387 --> 00:33:44,186 All right, I admit it. He's a nice kid. 478 00:33:44,257 --> 00:33:47,250 There. Was that so hard? 479 00:33:52,298 --> 00:33:55,291 Mmm. What was that for? 480 00:33:57,737 --> 00:34:00,366 For everything. 481 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:03,501 For this. 482 00:34:03,576 --> 00:34:06,740 For one beautiful weekend every year with no cares, 483 00:34:06,813 --> 00:34:09,078 no ties, 484 00:34:09,148 --> 00:34:11,208 no responsibilities. 485 00:34:16,789 --> 00:34:18,917 Thank you, Doris. 486 00:34:37,343 --> 00:34:39,278 Doris. 487 00:34:45,017 --> 00:34:48,647 Gee, and I just got all dressed up. 488 00:35:05,405 --> 00:35:07,397 Mmm. 489 00:35:10,376 --> 00:35:14,609 Oh, somebody has a rotten sense of timing. 490 00:35:17,350 --> 00:35:19,342 Damn. 491 00:35:24,791 --> 00:35:26,760 Hello? 492 00:35:26,826 --> 00:35:29,853 Yes, this is Daddy! 493 00:35:29,929 --> 00:35:32,330 Is there anything wrong? 494 00:35:32,398 --> 00:35:34,333 Funny? 495 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:38,428 That's probably because Daddy was just, uh, uh... 496 00:35:38,504 --> 00:35:42,407 I have a frog in my throat, sweetheart. 497 00:35:42,475 --> 00:35:44,876 Uh... wh... 498 00:35:44,944 --> 00:35:47,140 Oh, it came out, huh? 499 00:35:48,514 --> 00:35:53,350 Ohh. Well, of course the tooth fairy will come. 500 00:35:54,554 --> 00:35:57,149 Well, tonight, of course. 501 00:35:57,223 --> 00:36:00,216 Well, sweetheart, I wish Daddy could find it for you, 502 00:36:00,293 --> 00:36:03,695 but I'm, uh... I'm working. 503 00:36:05,598 --> 00:36:08,591 Honey, does Mommy know you called? 504 00:36:10,102 --> 00:36:13,231 Oh, I'll try. Yes, I love you too, sweetheart. 505 00:36:13,306 --> 00:36:15,434 Yes, I do! 506 00:36:15,508 --> 00:36:17,500 Very much! Ye... 507 00:36:17,577 --> 00:36:20,069 Okay. 508 00:36:22,615 --> 00:36:25,084 Okay, bye. 509 00:36:25,151 --> 00:36:28,417 Oh, God, I feel so guilty! 510 00:36:28,488 --> 00:36:30,650 Was that Debbie? 511 00:36:30,723 --> 00:36:33,215 Her tooth came out, and she can't find it, 512 00:36:33,292 --> 00:36:35,784 and she's afraid the tooth fairy won't know. 513 00:36:35,862 --> 00:36:39,822 Oh, God, that thin, reedy little voice! You know what that does to me? 514 00:36:39,899 --> 00:36:43,563 Sure, that cheerful look on your face doesn't fool me for a minute. 515 00:36:43,636 --> 00:36:46,071 You think this is funny? 516 00:36:46,138 --> 00:36:48,937 Doris, my little girl, said, "I love you, Daddy," 517 00:36:49,008 --> 00:36:52,308 and I answered her in a voice still hoarse with passion. 518 00:36:52,378 --> 00:36:55,712 I get the picture, George. 519 00:36:55,781 --> 00:36:58,273 Don't you ever feel guilty? 520 00:36:58,351 --> 00:37:00,843 Sometimes. Well, you never say anything. 521 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:04,687 Well, I just handle it in a different way. How? 522 00:37:04,757 --> 00:37:06,692 Privately. 523 00:37:06,759 --> 00:37:10,093 Boy, something like this really brings you up short. 524 00:37:10,162 --> 00:37:13,963 I mean, look at this. Look at me. Look. 525 00:37:14,033 --> 00:37:18,027 I tell you, Doris, when she started talking about the tooth fairy, 526 00:37:18,104 --> 00:37:21,165 that affected me in a very profound manner. 527 00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:25,405 On top of which, I have indigestion you won't believe. 528 00:37:25,478 --> 00:37:27,640 It hit me that hard, you know? 529 00:37:27,713 --> 00:37:31,377 I have three children too, you know, George? 530 00:37:31,450 --> 00:37:33,385 What do you want me to do? 531 00:37:33,452 --> 00:37:36,820 It would be terrific if you stopped talking about it. 532 00:37:36,889 --> 00:37:40,291 It is only making you feel worse. I can't feel worse! 533 00:37:40,359 --> 00:37:42,885 That pure little voice... No, you're right. Oh! 534 00:37:42,962 --> 00:37:45,955 No, forget it. Change the subject. 535 00:37:46,032 --> 00:37:49,366 So t-tell me about the good story about Harry. 536 00:37:49,435 --> 00:37:51,427 He went bankrupt. 537 00:37:53,005 --> 00:37:56,635 How can you go bankrupt selling TV sets? 538 00:37:56,709 --> 00:38:00,043 Harry has one little failing as a salesman. 539 00:38:00,112 --> 00:38:04,948 It's a compulsion to talk people out of things that they can't really afford. 540 00:38:05,017 --> 00:38:07,282 He kind of lacks the killer instinct. 541 00:38:07,353 --> 00:38:12,189 Actually, it's one of the things about him that I like best. 542 00:38:12,258 --> 00:38:14,420 Oh, listen. Something just occurred to me. 543 00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:18,157 Instead of my leaving at my usual time, would you mind if I left a little earlier? 544 00:38:18,230 --> 00:38:22,133 When did you have in mind? There's a plane in half an hour. 545 00:38:24,503 --> 00:38:28,372 You want to leave 23 hours early? 546 00:38:28,441 --> 00:38:31,434 There's a connecting flight from San Francisco in 90 minutes. 547 00:38:31,510 --> 00:38:33,445 I know how you feel. Really, I do. 548 00:38:33,512 --> 00:38:37,347 I wouldn't suggest it if you weren't a mother and didn't understand. 549 00:38:37,416 --> 00:38:40,284 It wouldn't even occur to me if-if this crisis hadn't come up. 550 00:38:40,353 --> 00:38:43,790 I don't mean just the tooth fairy. 551 00:38:43,856 --> 00:38:46,758 She could have swallowed the tooth. 552 00:38:46,826 --> 00:38:50,820 It could be lodged God knows where. 553 00:38:50,896 --> 00:38:54,856 Uh... have you seen my hairbrush? 554 00:38:54,934 --> 00:38:57,199 Doris, I'm probably doing you a big favor. 555 00:38:57,269 --> 00:39:01,297 If I did stay, I probably wouldn't be very good company. I'm thinking of you too. 556 00:39:01,374 --> 00:39:04,970 With the way I'm feeling... You probably understand. 557 00:39:19,592 --> 00:39:22,357 You feel somewhat rejected, right? 558 00:39:24,563 --> 00:39:27,556 I understand. Really, I do. 559 00:39:27,633 --> 00:39:32,799 I just want you to know that my leaving has nothing to do with you and me. 560 00:39:32,872 --> 00:39:36,707 This is an emergency! I have a sick child at home! 561 00:39:36,776 --> 00:39:38,938 Will you stop? 562 00:39:39,011 --> 00:39:43,847 This has nothing to do with the goddamn tooth fairy! 563 00:39:43,916 --> 00:39:45,851 You are simply feeling guilty, 564 00:39:45,918 --> 00:39:49,878 and you wanna get as far from me as possible. 565 00:39:49,955 --> 00:39:52,618 All right! I feel guilty, yes! 566 00:39:52,692 --> 00:39:54,627 Is that so strange? 567 00:39:54,694 --> 00:39:56,720 Doris, we're cheating. 568 00:39:56,796 --> 00:39:59,322 Once a year we lie to our families... 569 00:39:59,398 --> 00:40:01,890 and sneak off to a hotel in California... 570 00:40:01,967 --> 00:40:04,334 and commit adultery! 571 00:40:04,403 --> 00:40:07,567 Not that I want to stop doing it. 572 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:11,600 But yes, I feel guilty. I admit it. 573 00:40:11,677 --> 00:40:13,612 You admit it? 574 00:40:13,679 --> 00:40:16,114 You take out ads. 575 00:40:16,182 --> 00:40:19,175 I'll bet you stop strangers on the street! 576 00:40:19,251 --> 00:40:23,154 Y-You probably have a scarlet "A" embroidered... 577 00:40:23,222 --> 00:40:25,214 on your jockey shorts. 578 00:40:25,291 --> 00:40:27,658 You go around like an open nerve saying, 579 00:40:27,727 --> 00:40:30,856 "Yes, I'm cheating, but look how guilty I feel, 580 00:40:30,930 --> 00:40:33,661 so I must really be a nice guy." 581 00:40:33,733 --> 00:40:38,501 Then... Then to top it all, you have the incredible arrogance... 582 00:40:38,571 --> 00:40:41,700 of thinking you're the only person in the world with a conscience. 583 00:40:41,774 --> 00:40:44,334 Well, that doesn't make you a nice guy, George! 584 00:40:44,410 --> 00:40:48,347 You know what that makes you? A horse's ass! 585 00:40:59,091 --> 00:41:03,461 I liked you a lot better before you joined the Book of the Month Club. 586 00:41:03,529 --> 00:41:05,725 Yes, I'll just bet you did. 587 00:41:05,798 --> 00:41:09,633 - Look, can we discuss this in the car? - The car? 588 00:41:09,702 --> 00:41:13,195 I really hate to ask you, Doris, but I need a lift to the airport. 589 00:41:40,833 --> 00:41:45,066 Cheer up, Doris. It's not the end of the world. I'm not leaving you permanently. 590 00:41:45,137 --> 00:41:47,766 I'll see you next year. 591 00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:49,809 No, I don't think you will. 592 00:41:49,875 --> 00:41:52,538 Just because I have to leave early one year, 593 00:41:52,611 --> 00:41:55,775 you're willing to throw away a lifetime of weekends? 594 00:41:55,848 --> 00:41:57,783 How can you be so casual? 595 00:41:57,850 --> 00:42:01,252 I don't see any point in going on. Don't do that to me. 596 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,915 Don't try to manipulate me. I get enough of that at home. 597 00:42:03,989 --> 00:42:08,723 What's the sense of meeting in guilt and remorse, huh? What joy is there in that? 598 00:42:08,794 --> 00:42:13,664 Look, I have a commitment there. And you have none here? 599 00:42:13,732 --> 00:42:17,169 Here? I thought our only commitment here was to show up every year. 600 00:42:17,236 --> 00:42:19,171 Nice and tidy, huh? 601 00:42:19,238 --> 00:42:24,074 Just two friendly sex partners that meet every year and touch and let go. 602 00:42:24,143 --> 00:42:27,079 Is that it? So maybe I was kidding myself. 603 00:42:27,146 --> 00:42:30,014 - I'm human. - So am I. 604 00:42:30,082 --> 00:42:33,484 But you're different. You're stronger. 605 00:42:33,552 --> 00:42:35,612 Y-You seem able to take care of yourself. 606 00:42:35,688 --> 00:42:38,123 Listen, I'm gonna tell you something. 607 00:42:38,190 --> 00:42:42,355 In the past year, I've picked up the phone to call you 10 times. 608 00:42:42,428 --> 00:42:44,761 I couldn't stop thinking about you. 609 00:42:44,830 --> 00:42:49,200 You kept slipping over into my real life, and it scared the hell out of me. 610 00:42:49,268 --> 00:42:52,295 More to the point, I felt guilty. 611 00:42:52,371 --> 00:42:55,364 So I decided that we shouldn't see each other anymore. 612 00:42:55,441 --> 00:42:59,139 I wasn't even going to come, but I thought at least I owed you an explanation, 613 00:42:59,211 --> 00:43:01,373 so I came. 614 00:43:01,447 --> 00:43:04,849 When you walked through the door, I knew I couldn't go through with it, 615 00:43:04,917 --> 00:43:07,216 that no matter what the price, 616 00:43:07,286 --> 00:43:09,221 I was willing to pay it. 617 00:43:09,288 --> 00:43:13,282 You better get on your plane. 618 00:44:06,879 --> 00:44:09,872 I love you, Doris. I'm an idiot. 619 00:44:09,949 --> 00:44:12,714 I suspect I'm deeply neurotic and I'm no bargain, 620 00:44:12,785 --> 00:44:14,879 but I do love you. 621 00:44:14,954 --> 00:44:17,287 Will you let me stay? 622 00:44:20,359 --> 00:44:25,354 ♪ Oh, the last time I felt like this ♪ 623 00:44:25,431 --> 00:44:29,869 ♪ I was falling in love ♪ 624 00:44:29,935 --> 00:44:32,234 ♪ Falling and feeling ♪ 625 00:44:32,304 --> 00:44:35,706 ♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪ 626 00:44:35,774 --> 00:44:40,508 ♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪ 627 00:44:40,579 --> 00:44:43,515 ♪ Was long before I knew ♪ 628 00:44:43,582 --> 00:44:47,383 What I'm feeling now ♪ 629 00:44:47,453 --> 00:44:51,151 ♪ With you ♪ 630 00:44:51,223 --> 00:44:56,753 ♪ What I'm feeling now ♪ 631 00:44:56,829 --> 00:44:59,458 ♪ With ♪ 632 00:44:59,531 --> 00:45:04,799 ♪ You♪♪ 633 00:45:13,212 --> 00:45:17,707 No, of course I haven't left Helen. 634 00:45:17,783 --> 00:45:20,014 I'm on a business trip. 635 00:45:20,085 --> 00:45:22,418 I come up here every year. 636 00:45:24,690 --> 00:45:28,183 I am not running away from the problem. 637 00:45:28,260 --> 00:45:30,820 Of course I know it's serious. 638 00:45:30,896 --> 00:45:34,890 I still don't think that's any reason to call me long distance and try... 639 00:45:36,502 --> 00:45:39,336 Yes, I saw a doctor. 640 00:45:39,405 --> 00:45:42,068 He said... He said it's no big deal. 641 00:45:42,141 --> 00:45:45,873 He said every man has this problem at one time or another and... 642 00:45:47,813 --> 00:45:51,409 Look, if we have to discuss this, you might as well learn to pronounce it correctly. 643 00:45:51,483 --> 00:45:55,318 It's impotence, not im-po-tence. 644 00:45:59,825 --> 00:46:04,627 It is not something you have to nip in the bud! 645 00:46:04,696 --> 00:46:07,689 Yes, of... of course I'm gonna try to do something about it. 646 00:46:07,766 --> 00:46:11,601 Would you let me handle this in my own way? Would you pl... May I... 647 00:46:11,670 --> 00:46:14,333 I... I'm gonna be fine, all right? 648 00:46:14,406 --> 00:46:18,309 I'm gonna... I'm gonna be okay. I can feel it. I know it. 649 00:46:20,412 --> 00:46:22,847 I'm seeing someone out here who's an expert. 650 00:46:32,991 --> 00:46:35,654 I'm gonna hang up now! 651 00:46:35,727 --> 00:46:37,719 Good-bye, Mother! 652 00:46:42,367 --> 00:46:44,962 Hello, Mr. Chalmers. Afternoon, ma'am. 653 00:46:57,649 --> 00:46:59,584 George? 654 00:46:59,651 --> 00:47:01,813 Be right out, darling. 655 00:47:27,779 --> 00:47:31,113 ♪♪ 656 00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:38,880 ♪♪ 657 00:47:38,957 --> 00:47:41,517 ♪♪ 658 00:47:41,593 --> 00:47:43,926 How are you, lover? 659 00:47:52,771 --> 00:47:54,763 Guess what. 660 00:47:57,142 --> 00:47:59,270 Oh, my God! 661 00:48:03,715 --> 00:48:06,275 What did you do to yourself? 662 00:48:06,351 --> 00:48:08,684 Well, I can't take all the credit. 663 00:48:08,754 --> 00:48:11,883 It was sort of a mutual effort. 664 00:48:14,426 --> 00:48:17,362 George, when you haven't seen an old friend in a whole year, 665 00:48:17,429 --> 00:48:21,196 isn't it customary to give 'em a kiss hello? What? 666 00:48:21,266 --> 00:48:23,258 A kiss? 667 00:48:24,536 --> 00:48:27,404 Kiss? 668 00:48:27,472 --> 00:48:30,067 Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. 669 00:48:30,142 --> 00:48:32,805 Oh. Ohh. 670 00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:36,672 You okay, pal? Oh, I'm fine. 671 00:48:36,748 --> 00:48:40,549 I'm fine. I'm just a little surprised. You're surprised. 672 00:48:40,619 --> 00:48:44,112 I insisted upon visiting the dead rabbit's grave. 673 00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:52,855 George, how come you're wearing your robe and pajamas in the afternoon? 674 00:48:55,968 --> 00:48:59,132 I'm rehearsing a Noël Coward play. 675 00:49:02,541 --> 00:49:05,602 Is there something on your mind? 676 00:49:05,677 --> 00:49:08,670 Uh, no, not anymore. No. 677 00:49:12,251 --> 00:49:14,652 You must be eight months pregnant. 678 00:49:14,720 --> 00:49:16,848 Exactly. 679 00:49:16,922 --> 00:49:19,414 Oh, come on! It's not all that tragic. 680 00:49:19,491 --> 00:49:24,156 We can find some other way to communicate. Great. Great. 681 00:49:25,831 --> 00:49:27,766 You got any ideas? 682 00:49:27,833 --> 00:49:30,667 Is there something else bothering you? 683 00:49:30,736 --> 00:49:34,036 No. Mm-mmm. No. 684 00:49:36,108 --> 00:49:39,704 Well, you know, every year it is always a little awkward... 685 00:49:39,778 --> 00:49:41,713 when we first meet. 686 00:49:41,780 --> 00:49:46,514 We manage to take care of that with a lot of heavy breathing between the sheets. 687 00:49:46,585 --> 00:49:48,781 Uh, Doris, uh... 688 00:49:48,854 --> 00:49:51,847 If we're not gonna do it, do you mind if we don't talk about it? 689 00:49:51,923 --> 00:49:55,189 No, I just meant maybe we need something else to help break the ice. 690 00:49:55,260 --> 00:49:58,719 Well, I'm wide open to suggestions. Okay. 691 00:49:58,797 --> 00:50:00,789 How 'bout this? 692 00:50:00,866 --> 00:50:04,564 How about if, uh, if I tell you some deep, dark secret about myself... 693 00:50:04,636 --> 00:50:06,628 that I've never told anyone before, 694 00:50:06,705 --> 00:50:10,540 and then you tell me some secret about yourself. 695 00:50:10,609 --> 00:50:13,738 - I've had enough surprises. - You're gonna like this one. 696 00:50:13,812 --> 00:50:16,338 I've been having sex dreams about you. 697 00:50:16,415 --> 00:50:19,681 Oh, yeah? Almost every night too. 698 00:50:19,751 --> 00:50:23,518 What kind of sex dreams? That's what's so strange. 699 00:50:23,588 --> 00:50:25,580 They're always the same. 700 00:50:25,657 --> 00:50:30,118 I mean, we're making love, but it's always underwater. 701 00:50:31,229 --> 00:50:33,789 It's in caves, grottos, swimming pools, 702 00:50:33,865 --> 00:50:35,925 but always underwater. 703 00:50:36,001 --> 00:50:37,936 Isn't that weird? 704 00:50:38,003 --> 00:50:40,996 I think it probably has something to do with my being pregnant. 705 00:50:41,073 --> 00:50:43,372 Always underwater, huh? Come on. 706 00:50:43,442 --> 00:50:46,173 You tell me some deep, dark secret about yourself. 707 00:50:46,244 --> 00:50:48,236 I can't swim. 708 00:50:51,683 --> 00:50:53,231 I'll start with the good story about her. 709 00:50:53,251 --> 00:50:55,914 You've never done that before. You must be mellowing. 710 00:50:55,987 --> 00:50:59,480 Doris, do you mind? No, I don't mind. 711 00:50:59,558 --> 00:51:01,550 We went to London, 712 00:51:01,626 --> 00:51:03,959 and as we were checking into the hotel, 713 00:51:04,029 --> 00:51:06,931 there was a man in a formal coat and striped pants... 714 00:51:06,998 --> 00:51:10,662 standing at the front entrance of the hotel. 715 00:51:10,736 --> 00:51:14,195 Helen handed him her suitcase and breezed into the lobby. 716 00:51:14,272 --> 00:51:16,580 The man followed her in and politely explained 717 00:51:16,604 --> 00:51:18,733 that not only didn't he work at the hotel, 718 00:51:18,810 --> 00:51:22,611 but that he was the Danish ambassador. 719 00:51:22,681 --> 00:51:25,674 And without batting an eye, Helen said, 720 00:51:25,751 --> 00:51:31,122 "Well, that's marvelous! You can tell us the good places to eat in Copenhagen." 721 00:51:31,189 --> 00:51:33,181 And he did! 722 00:51:34,626 --> 00:51:37,391 The point is, it doesn't bother her at all... 723 00:51:37,462 --> 00:51:41,024 if she makes a total ass of herself. 724 00:51:41,099 --> 00:51:43,659 I really admire that. 725 00:51:46,838 --> 00:51:50,434 And what is it that you don't admire? 726 00:51:50,509 --> 00:51:53,638 It's that damn sense of humor of hers. 727 00:51:53,712 --> 00:51:57,376 Good. These are always the stories I like best. 728 00:52:01,753 --> 00:52:04,120 We'd been to a party, 729 00:52:04,189 --> 00:52:07,159 and we'd had a few drinks. 730 00:52:07,225 --> 00:52:11,219 So we went to bed and we started making love, 731 00:52:11,296 --> 00:52:14,061 and nothing happened. 732 00:52:14,132 --> 00:52:16,692 I mean, for me. 733 00:52:16,768 --> 00:52:18,703 I mean, I couldn't... 734 00:52:18,770 --> 00:52:21,535 Well, you get the picture. Yeah. It was no big deal. 735 00:52:21,606 --> 00:52:24,235 I mean, we laughed about it. 736 00:52:24,309 --> 00:52:28,713 Then about a half hour later, just as I was going to sleep, 737 00:52:28,780 --> 00:52:31,215 Helen turned to me and said, "It's funny. 738 00:52:31,283 --> 00:52:36,278 When I married a C.P.A., I always thought it would be his eyes that would go first." 739 00:52:47,432 --> 00:52:51,597 Well... she was just trying to make you feel better. 740 00:52:51,670 --> 00:52:54,663 Well, it didn't. Some things aren't funny. 741 00:52:57,809 --> 00:53:01,644 What I'm trying to say is the thing that bugs me the most about Helen... 742 00:53:01,713 --> 00:53:03,875 is that she broke my pecker. 743 00:53:09,688 --> 00:53:12,624 - You're impotent. - Slightly. 744 00:53:13,859 --> 00:53:15,851 That's five people who know. 745 00:53:15,927 --> 00:53:20,058 You, me, Helen and her mother. Who's the fifth? 746 00:53:20,131 --> 00:53:25,399 Chet Huntley. I'm sure her mother has given him the bulletin for the 6:00 news. 747 00:53:25,470 --> 00:53:28,736 Honey, when did this happen? Happen? 748 00:53:28,807 --> 00:53:32,266 Doris, we're not talking about a throughway accident. 749 00:53:32,344 --> 00:53:34,931 You don't wake up one morning and say, "Shoot, 750 00:53:34,955 --> 00:53:37,339 the family jewels have gone on the blink." 751 00:53:38,750 --> 00:53:41,117 It's a gradual thing. 752 00:53:41,186 --> 00:53:44,020 And how's Helen reacting to it? 753 00:53:44,089 --> 00:53:46,081 We haven't discussed it much. 754 00:53:46,157 --> 00:53:50,288 I got the impression she regards it as a lapse in one's social responsibility. 755 00:53:50,362 --> 00:53:54,561 Rather like letting your partner down in tennis by not holding your serve. 756 00:53:56,268 --> 00:53:58,931 I'll be all right. 757 00:53:59,004 --> 00:54:02,964 The patient's not dead, just resting. 758 00:54:03,041 --> 00:54:06,705 Doris, that statement hardly calls for congratulations. 759 00:54:06,778 --> 00:54:09,270 No, I need help getting up. 760 00:54:26,197 --> 00:54:29,497 Is there anything I can say that would make you feel any better? 761 00:54:29,568 --> 00:54:32,902 You can say anything you want except, "It's all in your head." 762 00:54:32,971 --> 00:54:36,669 I'm no doctor, but I have a great sense of direction. 763 00:54:38,276 --> 00:54:40,245 What shall we talk about? 764 00:54:40,312 --> 00:54:42,747 Anything but sex. 765 00:54:42,814 --> 00:54:45,113 How do you feel being pregnant? 766 00:54:45,183 --> 00:54:47,846 Oh, catatonic, 767 00:54:47,919 --> 00:54:50,252 incredulous, 768 00:54:50,322 --> 00:54:52,951 angry, 769 00:54:53,024 --> 00:54:56,256 pragmatic and... 770 00:54:56,328 --> 00:54:58,422 finally maternal. 771 00:54:58,496 --> 00:55:01,489 Pretty much in that order. Your vocabulary is improving. 772 00:55:01,566 --> 00:55:03,501 Oh, you don't know. 773 00:55:03,568 --> 00:55:06,060 You happen to be speaking to a high school graduate. 774 00:55:06,137 --> 00:55:08,106 No kidding. How come? 775 00:55:08,173 --> 00:55:12,304 I was confined to my bed for the first three months of my pregnancy, 776 00:55:12,377 --> 00:55:15,609 so it shouldn't be a total loss, I took a correspondence course. 777 00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:18,013 You're really something, you know that? 778 00:55:18,083 --> 00:55:22,214 - There's kind of an - ironic twist to all this. - What? 779 00:55:22,287 --> 00:55:26,224 I didn't graduate from high school the first time because I got pregnant. 780 00:55:26,291 --> 00:55:30,661 Now I did graduate from high school because I got pregnant. 781 00:55:30,729 --> 00:55:34,825 I don't know. That kind of appeals to my sense of order. 782 00:55:34,899 --> 00:55:36,993 Harry still selling real estate? 783 00:55:37,068 --> 00:55:39,162 No. Insurance. 784 00:55:39,237 --> 00:55:41,138 He likes it, though. 785 00:55:41,206 --> 00:55:45,200 Gives him a chance to look up all his old army buddies. 786 00:55:46,611 --> 00:55:49,103 Are you comfortable in that position? 787 00:55:49,180 --> 00:55:52,514 When you're in my condition, you're not comfortable in any position. 788 00:55:52,584 --> 00:55:54,712 Come on. Sit over here. 789 00:56:05,997 --> 00:56:08,262 Oh, that's good. 790 00:56:09,668 --> 00:56:11,728 Now, tell me, how are the kids? 791 00:56:11,803 --> 00:56:15,365 They're fine. Michael just got a job with the Associated Press. 792 00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:18,103 Really? Oh, that's terrific! Isn't that great? 793 00:56:18,176 --> 00:56:21,169 Gee, I feel so proud of him. 794 00:56:31,122 --> 00:56:33,956 What? 795 00:56:34,025 --> 00:56:37,359 George, why are you looking at me like that? 796 00:56:39,197 --> 00:56:41,689 No reason. 797 00:56:41,766 --> 00:56:44,292 I ju... It's too... I was won... uh... 798 00:56:44,369 --> 00:56:47,032 Fir-First I was try... Nothing! Forget it. It's all right. 799 00:56:47,105 --> 00:56:50,872 Just, uh, tell me the... tell me the other story about Harry. 800 00:56:50,942 --> 00:56:53,810 You know. 801 00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:59,176 George, what is it? You're still doing it. 802 00:56:59,250 --> 00:57:01,776 It's obscene! What is? 803 00:57:01,853 --> 00:57:06,587 When I touched you just now, I started to get excited. 804 00:57:06,658 --> 00:57:09,594 What kind of a pervert am I? 805 00:57:09,661 --> 00:57:14,429 Staring at a 200-pound pregnant woman, and I'm getting hot. 806 00:57:14,499 --> 00:57:17,128 Well, I'll tell you something. 807 00:57:17,202 --> 00:57:21,537 That is about the nicest thing anybody's said to me in months. 808 00:57:21,606 --> 00:57:24,542 It's not funny, Doris. 809 00:57:24,609 --> 00:57:27,169 I really got to ya, huh, fella? 810 00:57:29,881 --> 00:57:32,874 Uh, would you excuse me? 811 00:57:34,953 --> 00:57:38,253 ♪♪ 812 00:57:54,506 --> 00:57:58,375 That's incredible! Are you as good as I think you are? 813 00:57:58,443 --> 00:58:00,412 How good do you think I am? Sensational. 814 00:58:00,478 --> 00:58:02,743 I'm not as good as you think I am. 815 00:58:02,814 --> 00:58:06,751 But that piano's been sitting here for 10 years, and you've hardly touched it. 816 00:58:06,818 --> 00:58:10,016 Why tonight? It beats a cold shower. 817 00:58:10,088 --> 00:58:13,388 You mean, you play to relieve sexual tension? 818 00:58:13,458 --> 00:58:16,223 You don't even get this good without a lot of practice. 819 00:58:18,530 --> 00:58:21,728 You're gonna be exhausted. That's the idea. 820 00:58:26,404 --> 00:58:28,839 I've got a better idea. Come on. 821 00:58:28,907 --> 00:58:32,969 Doris... Come on. It's all right. It'll be okay. 822 00:58:33,044 --> 00:58:35,172 But... But you can't... 823 00:58:35,446 --> 00:58:38,883 Well, I know that. Well, then how... 824 00:58:38,950 --> 00:58:43,285 Well, we can work something out, can't we? 825 00:58:46,224 --> 00:58:48,318 Oh. What... What is it? 826 00:58:48,393 --> 00:58:52,057 Aah! For God's sake, what is it? 827 00:58:52,130 --> 00:58:56,568 Doris, what the hell is the matter? 828 00:58:56,634 --> 00:59:00,765 If memory serves me correctly, I just had a labor pain. 829 00:59:00,839 --> 00:59:04,674 You can't have. It must be indigestion. No. There's a difference. 830 00:59:04,742 --> 00:59:07,940 Indigestion doesn't make your eyes bug out. 831 00:59:09,681 --> 00:59:12,310 You can't be in labor. When... When's the baby due? 832 00:59:12,383 --> 00:59:15,444 Not for another month, but... 833 00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:19,423 Oh! Oh, my God! What have I done? 834 00:59:19,490 --> 00:59:22,858 What have you done? I brought this on with my selfishness. 835 00:59:22,927 --> 00:59:25,897 Oh, don't be ridiculous. You had nothing to do with it. 836 00:59:25,964 --> 00:59:29,765 Doris, don't treat me like a child. Will you stop getting excited? 837 00:59:29,834 --> 00:59:33,601 Excited? I thought I had problems with my sex life before. 838 00:59:33,671 --> 00:59:38,200 Can you imagine what this is gonna do to it? Just... Will you just... 839 00:59:38,276 --> 00:59:40,905 Ohh. Oh, I think I'd better lie down. 840 00:59:40,979 --> 00:59:44,313 What kind of a man am I? What kind of a man would do a thing like this? 841 00:59:44,382 --> 00:59:47,113 May I say something? Doris, I appreciate what you're trying to do, 842 00:59:47,185 --> 00:59:49,313 but nothing you can say would make me feel any better. 843 00:59:49,387 --> 00:59:53,825 I'm not trying to make you feel any better. I'm gonna have a baby. 844 00:59:53,892 --> 00:59:58,057 I know that. No. I mean now. 845 00:59:58,129 --> 01:00:01,759 I have a history of short labor. 846 01:00:01,833 --> 01:00:04,098 Oh, no! No, no, no! 847 01:00:04,168 --> 01:00:07,696 No, no, no, no! Oh, no! No! 848 01:00:15,213 --> 01:00:18,240 How do you feel? 849 01:00:20,818 --> 01:00:23,549 Like I'm gonna have a baby. 850 01:00:23,755 --> 01:00:27,631 Maybe it's a false alarm. It's a false alarm. That's all. 851 01:00:27,655 --> 01:00:28,250 No. No. 852 01:00:28,326 --> 01:00:32,093 No. Now, just get a hold of yourself, honey, and get on the phone... 853 01:00:32,163 --> 01:00:35,930 and find out where the nearest hospital is. 854 01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:39,198 Hospital? You wanna go to a hospital? 855 01:00:40,838 --> 01:00:44,673 George, like it or not, 856 01:00:44,742 --> 01:00:48,577 I am going to have a baby! 857 01:00:48,646 --> 01:00:52,447 But we're not married. That's going to look odd. 858 01:00:54,452 --> 01:00:58,446 Will you get on the phone, please, 859 01:00:58,523 --> 01:01:02,619 and find out where the hospital is! 860 01:01:05,797 --> 01:01:08,665 - Well, where are you going? - To the bathroom! 861 01:01:08,733 --> 01:01:10,759 Why? 862 01:01:11,803 --> 01:01:14,773 It's hard to explain. 863 01:01:14,839 --> 01:01:18,298 Hello. Mr. Chalmers, this is George. 864 01:01:18,376 --> 01:01:21,403 Uh, where's the nearest hospital? 865 01:01:21,479 --> 01:01:26,782 Uh, well, it's... it's my wife. Something unexpected came up. 866 01:01:26,851 --> 01:01:30,913 She got pregnant, and now she's gonna have the baby. 867 01:01:30,989 --> 01:01:33,288 That far? 868 01:01:33,358 --> 01:01:36,226 All right. Look. Get him on the phone right away, will ya? 869 01:01:36,294 --> 01:01:39,287 Doris, are you all right? 870 01:01:39,364 --> 01:01:42,994 Doris? Doris, answer me! 871 01:01:43,067 --> 01:01:47,061 I'm busy! Oh, Jesus! 872 01:01:47,138 --> 01:01:52,042 Hello? Yes, yes! Uh, hello. Uh... hello. 873 01:01:52,110 --> 01:01:57,947 Um, I'm here at the Sea Shadows Inn just outside of Mendocino. 874 01:01:58,016 --> 01:02:03,853 I was in my room before, and I heard this groaning from the next room. 875 01:02:03,921 --> 01:02:08,655 And, um, well, I knock on the door, 876 01:02:08,726 --> 01:02:13,664 and I found this lady... who I've never seen before in my life... 877 01:02:13,731 --> 01:02:16,792 Uh, in labor. 878 01:02:19,804 --> 01:02:22,899 Do you have to know that? 879 01:02:25,276 --> 01:02:29,577 George Peters. So... George Peters. Peters. 880 01:02:31,716 --> 01:02:34,652 I don't know. I didn't time them. Three or four minutes apart, I guess. 881 01:02:34,719 --> 01:02:36,915 I don't know. 882 01:02:36,988 --> 01:02:39,514 All right. Uh... Uh, hold on. 883 01:02:39,590 --> 01:02:42,389 Doris? Doris, who's your doctor? 884 01:02:42,460 --> 01:02:44,929 Joseph Harrington. Uh, Joseph Harrington. 885 01:02:44,996 --> 01:02:47,295 In Oakland. In, uh... in Oakland. 886 01:02:47,365 --> 01:02:52,633 534-0711. 534-0711. 887 01:02:52,703 --> 01:02:58,233 Um... Yes, uh, I-I have a car. I'd be glad to take her over there. 888 01:02:58,309 --> 01:03:02,542 Sure. Uh, could you... could you just answer one question? 889 01:03:02,613 --> 01:03:07,142 Would... Would erotic contact in the last stages of pregnancy... 890 01:03:07,218 --> 01:03:10,677 bring on premature... 891 01:03:10,755 --> 01:03:14,248 No reason. Just interested. Just, you know... 892 01:03:14,325 --> 01:03:18,285 Okay. I'll get her right over there. Okay. Bye. 893 01:03:18,362 --> 01:03:20,898 All right. It's okay. They're gonna call your 894 01:03:20,922 --> 01:03:23,596 doctor, and he's gonna meet us at the hospital. 895 01:03:23,668 --> 01:03:28,936 We're not gonna make it to the hospital. My water just broke. 896 01:03:29,006 --> 01:03:33,706 Oh, my God! We're gonna have to find a doctor in the area. 897 01:03:33,778 --> 01:03:37,977 Oh, my... Ohh, my God. You look awful! 898 01:03:38,049 --> 01:03:41,486 What if we can't find one? You're not gonna faint, are you? 899 01:03:41,552 --> 01:03:45,956 Doris, I'm not a cabdriver! I don't know how to deliver babies! 900 01:03:46,023 --> 01:03:50,927 George, this is no time to start acting like Butterfly McQueen. 901 01:03:50,995 --> 01:03:53,897 Now, you just get on the phone and find a doctor. 902 01:04:01,539 --> 01:04:04,031 Ohh. 903 01:04:04,108 --> 01:04:08,637 Hello. Uh, Mr. Chalmers, where's the nearest doctor? 904 01:04:08,713 --> 01:04:12,206 Well, get... Look. Get him on the phone for me, will you? 905 01:04:12,283 --> 01:04:14,218 This is an emergency. 906 01:04:14,285 --> 01:04:18,916 It's all right. It's okay. Hold on. Hold on. It's okay, baby. No! No! 907 01:04:18,990 --> 01:04:20,938 This will teach you to fool around with a 908 01:04:20,962 --> 01:04:23,223 married woman! Shh! What's the matter with you? 909 01:04:23,294 --> 01:04:26,196 Get that down! Get down! Get down! Put that down! 910 01:04:26,264 --> 01:04:30,725 Calm down. Relax. Just keep that down. Hel... 911 01:04:30,801 --> 01:04:33,635 What do you mean, his answering service? 912 01:04:33,704 --> 01:04:37,141 W... No, no. Wait. Wait a second. You don't understand. 913 01:04:37,208 --> 01:04:41,009 This is an emergency. She's in the last stages of labor! 914 01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:48,519 Well, get in your car and drive down to the goddamn pier and get him! 915 01:04:48,586 --> 01:04:52,079 Just get him! It's okay. It's all right. 916 01:04:52,156 --> 01:04:54,853 Relax. 917 01:04:54,926 --> 01:04:58,988 He's... The doctor's on his boat, but he's just down... down the road, 918 01:04:59,063 --> 01:05:03,728 and, uh... and, uh... Chalmers is gonna drive down there in his... 919 01:05:03,801 --> 01:05:06,134 God... in his car and get him. 920 01:05:06,204 --> 01:05:08,696 He'll be right here. 921 01:05:08,773 --> 01:05:10,833 What? 922 01:05:10,908 --> 01:05:13,673 What? What? What? What? 923 01:05:13,744 --> 01:05:17,442 I feel the baby! No! 924 01:05:20,518 --> 01:05:23,352 George, I'm scared. 925 01:05:24,922 --> 01:05:28,791 Honey, do something. 926 01:05:31,429 --> 01:05:34,331 - I'll be right back. - George, don't leave me. 927 01:05:34,398 --> 01:05:37,368 - I'm right here, baby. I'm right here. - George! 928 01:05:37,435 --> 01:05:41,395 What are those for? We're gonna have a baby. 929 01:05:41,472 --> 01:05:44,271 - "We"? - Yeah, but I'm gonna need your help. 930 01:05:44,342 --> 01:05:50,009 Give me your hand. Look into my eyes. 931 01:05:50,081 --> 01:05:53,609 You're gonna be fine. 932 01:05:53,684 --> 01:05:58,247 There's nothing to worry about. We're together. Okay. 933 01:05:58,322 --> 01:06:01,520 You think I play the piano well? Yeah. 934 01:06:01,592 --> 01:06:05,256 Wait till you see the way I deliver babies. 935 01:07:22,707 --> 01:07:25,609 Hey, man. What do ya say? 936 01:07:40,524 --> 01:07:44,291 Mmm. So... wanna fuck? 937 01:07:47,765 --> 01:07:52,726 What? You didn't understand the question? 938 01:07:52,803 --> 01:07:57,605 Of course I did. I just think it's a damned odd way to start a conversation. 939 01:07:57,675 --> 01:08:01,771 Oh. Gee, I thought it was a great little icebreaker. 940 01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:07,279 Aren't you horny after your long flight? 941 01:08:07,351 --> 01:08:11,015 I didn't fly. I drove. From Connecticut? 942 01:08:11,088 --> 01:08:14,456 No. From Los Angeles. We moved to Beverly Hills about six months ago. 943 01:08:14,525 --> 01:08:16,926 Ohh. How come? 944 01:08:16,994 --> 01:08:20,260 A number of reasons. I got tired of standing knee-deep in the snow... 945 01:08:20,331 --> 01:08:25,133 trying to scrape the ice off my windshield with a credit card. 946 01:08:25,202 --> 01:08:28,695 Besides, there are people here with a lot of money who don't know what to do with it. 947 01:08:28,773 --> 01:08:32,733 And you tell 'em? I'm what they call a business manager. 948 01:08:32,810 --> 01:08:37,976 - How's it goin'? - Can't complain. Why? 949 01:08:38,048 --> 01:08:41,075 You look kind of shitty. 950 01:08:41,152 --> 01:08:45,021 Is everything all right? 951 01:08:45,089 --> 01:08:47,478 When did you start dressing like an Indian? 952 01:08:47,502 --> 01:08:50,084 You look like a refugee from the Sunset Strip. 953 01:08:50,161 --> 01:08:53,529 Oh, no. I've gone back to school... Berkeley. 954 01:08:53,597 --> 01:08:56,658 Why? Why? 955 01:08:56,734 --> 01:08:59,465 You mean, what do I want to be when I grow up? 956 01:08:59,537 --> 01:09:02,530 Well, you have to admit it's a bit odd becoming a schoolgirl at your age. 957 01:09:02,606 --> 01:09:07,510 Hey, listen. You think it's easy being the only one in your class with clear skin? 958 01:09:07,578 --> 01:09:12,482 What made you do it? Actually, it was a dinner party that made me decide. 959 01:09:12,550 --> 01:09:16,783 Harry's boss invited us over for dinner, and I just freaked. Why? 960 01:09:16,854 --> 01:09:21,087 Well, I'd spent so much time at home with the kids that I really wasn't sure... 961 01:09:21,158 --> 01:09:23,339 I was capable of carrying on an intelligent 962 01:09:23,363 --> 01:09:25,721 conversation with anyone over the age of five. 963 01:09:25,796 --> 01:09:30,393 So, anyway, we went, and I got seated right next to the boss. 964 01:09:30,468 --> 01:09:33,961 But, you know, I surprised myself. I mean, he talked and I talked. 965 01:09:34,038 --> 01:09:36,530 It was just like a regular conversation. 966 01:09:36,607 --> 01:09:38,599 I thought everything was cool, 967 01:09:38,676 --> 01:09:41,908 till I noticed that he was looking at me in kind of a weird way. 968 01:09:41,979 --> 01:09:45,882 I looked down at his plate and discovered that all the time we had been talking, 969 01:09:45,950 --> 01:09:49,910 I'd been cutting up his meat for him. 970 01:09:53,424 --> 01:09:56,622 That's when I decided that I'd better get out of the house. 971 01:09:56,694 --> 01:09:58,925 Yeah, but why school? Oh, I don't know. 972 01:09:58,996 --> 01:10:04,367 I felt restless and undirected, and I thought school would give me some answers. 973 01:10:04,435 --> 01:10:09,464 What sort of answers? You know, like where it's really at. 974 01:10:09,540 --> 01:10:13,102 Jesus. What? 975 01:10:13,177 --> 01:10:15,408 That expression. 976 01:10:15,479 --> 01:10:18,449 Okay. I wanted to find out who the hell I am. 977 01:10:18,516 --> 01:10:21,315 You don't get answers like that from the classroom. 978 01:10:21,385 --> 01:10:23,854 Well, I'm not in a classroom all the time. 979 01:10:23,921 --> 01:10:26,447 I'll tell ya, the protests and demonstrations... 980 01:10:26,524 --> 01:10:30,484 are a learning experience in themselves. 981 01:10:30,561 --> 01:10:34,498 Protests against what? 982 01:10:34,565 --> 01:10:38,832 The war. Didn't you hear about it? It was in all the papers. 983 01:10:38,903 --> 01:10:43,068 Demonstrations aren't gonna stop the war. 984 01:10:43,140 --> 01:10:47,840 Oh, really? Have you got a better idea? 985 01:10:51,115 --> 01:10:54,950 Look, I didn't drive all the way up here to discuss politics. 986 01:10:58,222 --> 01:11:03,058 Well, so far you've turned down sex and politics. 987 01:11:03,127 --> 01:11:06,655 Would you like to try religion? 988 01:11:06,730 --> 01:11:10,064 I think I'll try a Librium. 989 01:11:32,022 --> 01:11:34,582 Jesus. 990 01:11:34,658 --> 01:11:40,097 Ohh. Honey, why are you so uptight? 991 01:11:40,164 --> 01:11:43,225 That's another expression I hate. "Uptight"? 992 01:11:43,300 --> 01:11:48,238 There's no such word. You remind me of my mother. 993 01:11:48,305 --> 01:11:51,002 When I was nine, I asked her what "fuck" meant. 994 01:11:51,075 --> 01:11:55,012 You know what she said? "There's no such word." 995 01:11:55,079 --> 01:11:56,754 And now you know there is, you feel 996 01:11:56,778 --> 01:11:58,914 compelled to use it in every other sentence? 997 01:12:00,551 --> 01:12:04,647 What is bugging you? "Bugging" me? I'll tell you what's bugging me. 998 01:12:04,722 --> 01:12:07,590 The blacks are burning down the cities. 999 01:12:07,658 --> 01:12:10,474 There's a Harvard professor telling my kids the only way to happiness... 1000 01:12:10,494 --> 01:12:13,328 is to become doped-up zombies. 1001 01:12:13,397 --> 01:12:16,265 And I have a teenage son with hair so long that from the back, 1002 01:12:16,333 --> 01:12:20,998 he looks exactly like Yvonne De Carlo. 1003 01:12:21,071 --> 01:12:25,668 You know that's a sign of age, don't you? What is? 1004 01:12:25,743 --> 01:12:29,874 When you start worrying about the declining morality of the young. 1005 01:12:29,947 --> 01:12:33,042 Besides, there is nothing you can do about it. 1006 01:12:33,117 --> 01:12:35,985 We can start setting some examples. 1007 01:12:36,053 --> 01:12:40,115 As I recall, when you were a little younger, 1008 01:12:40,190 --> 01:12:42,921 you were not exactly a monk about that sort of thing. 1009 01:12:42,993 --> 01:12:45,724 That was different. 1010 01:12:45,796 --> 01:12:49,460 Our relationship is not based on a casual one-night stand. 1011 01:12:49,533 --> 01:12:52,196 No. It's been 15 one-night stands. 1012 01:12:54,171 --> 01:12:58,108 It's not the same. We shared things. 1013 01:12:58,175 --> 01:13:01,077 My God. I helped deliver your child. Remember? 1014 01:13:01,145 --> 01:13:04,274 Remember? 1015 01:13:04,348 --> 01:13:08,342 I consider that our finest hour. 1016 01:13:14,058 --> 01:13:17,517 - How is she? - Georgette? 1017 01:13:17,594 --> 01:13:21,998 Ooh, she's very healthy, very noisy and very spoiled. 1018 01:13:22,066 --> 01:13:24,865 Don't you feel guilty leaving her alone when you go to school? 1019 01:13:24,935 --> 01:13:26,927 No. Harry's home a lot. 1020 01:13:27,004 --> 01:13:29,701 How does Harry feel about all this? Oh. 1021 01:13:29,773 --> 01:13:32,868 When I told him I wanted to go back to school to get some identity, 1022 01:13:32,943 --> 01:13:37,244 he said to me, "You want identity, go build a bridge, invent penicillin. 1023 01:13:37,314 --> 01:13:39,749 Just get off my back." 1024 01:13:39,817 --> 01:13:43,652 I always said Harry had a good head on his shoulders. 1025 01:13:43,721 --> 01:13:47,817 That was supposed to be the bad story about him. 1026 01:13:48,992 --> 01:13:51,518 How's Helen? 1027 01:13:51,595 --> 01:13:54,463 Helen's fine, just fine. 1028 01:13:54,531 --> 01:13:59,970 Hmm. Why don't you tell me a story that shows how really rotten she can be? 1029 01:14:01,271 --> 01:14:03,331 That's not like you. 1030 01:14:03,407 --> 01:14:06,502 I know, but it seems like we need something to bring us together. 1031 01:14:06,577 --> 01:14:11,709 I thought a really lousy story about Helen would make you appreciate me more. 1032 01:14:13,851 --> 01:14:18,619 Okay. As you know, she has this funny sense of humor. 1033 01:14:18,689 --> 01:14:21,249 By funny, I take it you mean peculiar. Right. 1034 01:14:21,325 --> 01:14:24,762 And it comes out at the most inappropriate times. 1035 01:14:24,828 --> 01:14:29,823 I had just signed this client... very proper, very old money. 1036 01:14:29,900 --> 01:14:34,065 Helen and I were invited to his house for cocktails with him and his wife. 1037 01:14:34,138 --> 01:14:36,733 Well, it was all pretty awkward, 1038 01:14:36,807 --> 01:14:40,209 but we managed to get through the drinks all right. 1039 01:14:40,277 --> 01:14:44,305 Then, as we were leaving, instead of walking out the front door, 1040 01:14:44,381 --> 01:14:47,715 I walked into the hall closet. 1041 01:14:47,785 --> 01:14:51,984 Well, that wasn't so bad. Anybody could've done that. 1042 01:14:52,055 --> 01:14:55,651 My mistake was I stayed in there. 1043 01:14:56,660 --> 01:15:00,461 You stayed in the closet? 1044 01:15:00,531 --> 01:15:03,524 I wasn't sure anybody had seen me go in. Aha. 1045 01:15:03,600 --> 01:15:07,162 I guess I figured I'd stay in there until they'd all gone away. 1046 01:15:07,237 --> 01:15:11,038 All right. Maybe I didn't think things through. 1047 01:15:11,108 --> 01:15:15,739 I was there a minute before I realized I had probably misjudged the situation. 1048 01:15:15,813 --> 01:15:19,773 And then when I came out, the three of them were just staring at me. 1049 01:15:19,850 --> 01:15:25,016 Well, it was pretty awkward, but I probably could've carried it off except for Helen. 1050 01:15:25,088 --> 01:15:28,923 - You know what she did? - What? 1051 01:15:30,127 --> 01:15:33,894 She peed on the carpet. 1052 01:15:36,633 --> 01:15:40,536 She did what? Well, not right away. 1053 01:15:40,604 --> 01:15:43,403 First, she started to laugh. 1054 01:15:43,473 --> 01:15:46,932 Her face was all screwed up. She was holding her sides. 1055 01:15:47,010 --> 01:15:51,971 Tears were streaming down her cheeks. And then she peed all over the carpet. 1056 01:15:53,283 --> 01:15:56,117 What did you say? 1057 01:15:56,186 --> 01:15:58,178 I said, "You'll have to excuse my wife. 1058 01:15:58,255 --> 01:16:01,054 Ever since her last pregnancy, she's had a problem." 1059 01:16:01,124 --> 01:16:03,821 Then I offered to have the rug cleaned. 1060 01:16:03,894 --> 01:16:09,231 - Did that help? - No. They said they had a maid, and it wouldn't be necessary. 1061 01:16:17,507 --> 01:16:20,671 You think this is funny? Listen. 1062 01:16:20,744 --> 01:16:25,409 I've been meaning to tell you this for a long time. 1063 01:16:25,482 --> 01:16:29,078 I just love Helen. 1064 01:16:31,989 --> 01:16:35,448 Would she come off any worse if I told you I lost the account? 1065 01:16:35,525 --> 01:16:39,462 Oh, George, when did you get so stuffy? 1066 01:16:39,529 --> 01:16:43,489 Stuffy? Yeah. 1067 01:16:43,567 --> 01:16:47,937 Am I stuffy because I don't like my wife to urinate on my client's carpet? 1068 01:16:49,473 --> 01:16:52,568 Well, I didn't mean just that, honey, but... 1069 01:16:52,643 --> 01:16:57,047 Well, look at you. You just scream establishment. 1070 01:16:57,114 --> 01:17:00,642 I am not a faddist. 1071 01:17:00,717 --> 01:17:04,950 - What do you mean? - I mean I have no desire to - be those middle-aged idiots... 1072 01:17:05,022 --> 01:17:07,862 who walk around in bell-bottomed trousers and Prince Valiant haircuts... 1073 01:17:07,925 --> 01:17:10,326 saying "ciao." 1074 01:17:10,394 --> 01:17:15,526 Well, I wasn't just talking about fashion. I was talking about your attitudes. 1075 01:17:15,599 --> 01:17:18,831 My attitudes are the same as they always were. I haven't changed at all. 1076 01:17:18,902 --> 01:17:23,340 Oh, yes, you have. You used to be kind of, well, crazy and insecure... 1077 01:17:23,407 --> 01:17:27,640 and a terrible liar, but awfully human. 1078 01:17:27,711 --> 01:17:31,546 Now you... I don't know. You just seem so sure of yourself. 1079 01:17:36,086 --> 01:17:40,251 - That's the last thing I am. - Oh, yeah? 1080 01:17:40,324 --> 01:17:43,440 I picked up one of Helen's magazines the other day, and there was this article... 1081 01:17:43,460 --> 01:17:47,761 telling women what sort of orgasms they should have. 1082 01:17:47,831 --> 01:17:51,268 It was called "The Big 'O.'" 1083 01:17:51,335 --> 01:17:54,100 You know what really got me about that? 1084 01:17:54,171 --> 01:17:58,040 This was a magazine my mother used to buy for its fruitcake recipes. 1085 01:17:58,108 --> 01:18:01,840 Well, the times, in fact, are a-changing, darling. 1086 01:18:01,912 --> 01:18:04,677 Too fast. 1087 01:18:06,750 --> 01:18:11,188 I don't know. Twenty, thirty years ago, we had standards. 1088 01:18:11,254 --> 01:18:14,622 Maybe they were black and white, but at least they were standards. 1089 01:18:14,691 --> 01:18:16,922 Now... 1090 01:18:18,962 --> 01:18:21,864 It's so confusing. 1091 01:18:25,369 --> 01:18:27,361 Well... 1092 01:18:27,437 --> 01:18:31,568 That's at least a step in the right direction. 1093 01:18:33,243 --> 01:18:36,179 When did I suddenly become so appealing? 1094 01:18:36,246 --> 01:18:40,308 When you went from pompous to confused. 1095 01:18:44,888 --> 01:18:48,689 All right. Now, tell me, sir. 1096 01:18:48,759 --> 01:18:51,058 What's your pleasure? 1097 01:18:51,128 --> 01:18:54,656 A walk by the ocean... 1098 01:18:54,731 --> 01:18:58,327 or a good book... 1099 01:18:58,402 --> 01:19:00,394 or... 1100 01:19:02,005 --> 01:19:04,099 me? 1101 01:19:05,342 --> 01:19:10,076 You. Oh, I thought you'd never ask. 1102 01:19:16,119 --> 01:19:18,384 What? 1103 01:19:18,455 --> 01:19:22,756 Doris, you're not wearing a bra. 1104 01:19:22,826 --> 01:19:27,355 George, you're so 40s. 1105 01:19:27,431 --> 01:19:29,832 I'm a very old-fashioned man. 1106 01:19:29,900 --> 01:19:34,065 Next, you'll be telling me you voted for Goldwater. 1107 01:19:34,137 --> 01:19:36,197 I did. 1108 01:19:37,307 --> 01:19:39,833 You're putting me on. 1109 01:19:39,910 --> 01:19:43,312 No. Of course not. 1110 01:19:43,380 --> 01:19:45,315 What are you doing? 1111 01:19:45,382 --> 01:19:49,547 If you think I'm going to bed with any son of a bitch who voted for Goldwater, 1112 01:19:49,619 --> 01:19:51,645 you're crazy. 1113 01:19:51,721 --> 01:19:54,748 Doris, don't do this to me. Not now. 1114 01:19:54,825 --> 01:19:59,024 How could you vote for a man like that? Yuck! 1115 01:19:59,096 --> 01:20:02,863 Can we discuss this later? No. We'll discuss it right now. 1116 01:20:02,933 --> 01:20:07,769 - Why did you vote for him? - Because I have a son who wants to be a rock musician. 1117 01:20:07,838 --> 01:20:11,866 What kind of reason is that? The best one I can come up within my condition. 1118 01:20:11,942 --> 01:20:15,003 I'm sorry, George, you're gonna have to do a whole lot better than that. 1119 01:20:15,078 --> 01:20:19,072 All right. He wanted to end the war, okay? Sure, by destroying the country. 1120 01:20:19,149 --> 01:20:22,176 He never said that. That's the trouble with you people. You never listen. 1121 01:20:22,252 --> 01:20:25,279 It's a civil war. We have no right being there in the first place. 1122 01:20:25,355 --> 01:20:27,915 Oh, I'm so sick of hearing that liberal crap. 1123 01:20:27,991 --> 01:20:31,359 We have the bomb. Why don't we use it? Are you serious? 1124 01:20:31,428 --> 01:20:36,025 You're damned right I am. Wipe the sons of bitches off the face of the earth. 1125 01:20:36,099 --> 01:20:40,264 Oh, my God! I don't know anything about you! 1126 01:20:40,337 --> 01:20:44,331 - What kind of man are you? - Right now, a very frustrated one. 1127 01:20:44,407 --> 01:20:48,708 All this time, I thought I was going to bed with a liberal Democrat. 1128 01:20:48,778 --> 01:20:51,577 Wait a minute. You told me you worked for Stevenson. 1129 01:20:51,648 --> 01:20:54,812 That was years ago. So what happened? What changed you? 1130 01:20:54,885 --> 01:20:57,855 I grew up. Oh, yeah? Well, as far as I'm concerned, 1131 01:20:57,921 --> 01:21:01,119 you didn't turn out too hot. 1132 01:21:06,897 --> 01:21:10,299 Let's just forget it, huh? Oh, I'm not gonna forget it! 1133 01:21:10,367 --> 01:21:14,930 I mean, being stuffy and old-fashioned is one thing, but being a fascist is another. 1134 01:21:15,005 --> 01:21:18,567 I am not a fascist! Well, you're advocating mass murder! 1135 01:21:18,642 --> 01:21:22,170 Let's just drop it. No, I'm not... I'm not going to drop it. 1136 01:21:22,245 --> 01:21:24,237 You stand for everything that I'm against. 1137 01:21:24,314 --> 01:21:28,046 Maybe you're against the wrong things. But you used to believe as I do. 1138 01:21:28,118 --> 01:21:30,053 Now, what happened? I changed! 1139 01:21:30,120 --> 01:21:34,319 But why? Because Michael was killed! 1140 01:21:41,198 --> 01:21:43,326 How? 1141 01:21:47,604 --> 01:21:52,599 He was helping a wounded man onto a Red Cross helicopter, and a sniper killed him. 1142 01:21:57,347 --> 01:22:00,613 When? 1143 01:22:05,922 --> 01:22:09,791 We got word during a Fourth of July party. 1144 01:22:13,897 --> 01:22:18,198 Helen went completely to pieces. 1145 01:22:28,144 --> 01:22:33,412 I thought I was in shock and that I'd feel it later, you know? 1146 01:22:37,654 --> 01:22:40,556 I never did. 1147 01:22:45,662 --> 01:22:49,224 I've never shed a tear. 1148 01:22:52,068 --> 01:22:56,096 All I've ever been able to feel is blind anger. 1149 01:22:57,774 --> 01:23:02,269 I never shed a tear. 1150 01:23:02,345 --> 01:23:05,315 Isn't that something? 1151 01:23:07,817 --> 01:23:12,881 He was my son. I love him. 1152 01:23:15,025 --> 01:23:19,121 And for the life of me... 1153 01:23:22,599 --> 01:23:25,228 I can't seem to cry for him. 1154 01:23:25,302 --> 01:23:27,237 Oh. 1155 01:23:40,784 --> 01:23:44,221 Doris, I'm sorry. No. 1156 01:23:46,056 --> 01:23:49,288 About... About everything. 1157 01:23:54,064 --> 01:23:58,502 I've been a bit on edge lately. 1158 01:24:00,103 --> 01:24:03,835 Just seems to be one damn... 1159 01:24:31,501 --> 01:24:35,495 ♪ Dreams make promises ♪ 1160 01:24:35,572 --> 01:24:38,599 ♪ They can't keep ♪ 1161 01:24:38,675 --> 01:24:41,110 ♪ They can swindle you ♪ 1162 01:24:41,177 --> 01:24:45,046 ♪ While you sleep ♪ 1163 01:24:45,115 --> 01:24:49,678 ♪ And the morning finds you ♪ 1164 01:24:49,753 --> 01:24:54,282 ♪ Wondering why ♪ 1165 01:24:54,357 --> 01:24:56,952 ♪ It seems ♪ 1166 01:24:57,026 --> 01:25:02,226 ♪ When we're young in dreams we trust ♪ 1167 01:25:02,298 --> 01:25:05,063 ♪ Maybe growing up is just ♪ 1168 01:25:07,937 --> 01:25:11,499 ♪ Kissing certain dreams ♪ 1169 01:25:11,574 --> 01:25:15,978 ♪ Good-bye♪♪ 1170 01:25:16,045 --> 01:25:21,848 You know, it's amazing how good it can be after 21 years, isn't it? 1171 01:25:23,887 --> 01:25:29,485 Well, if you add up all the times we actually made it together, 1172 01:25:30,560 --> 01:25:33,530 we're still on our honeymoon. 1173 01:25:35,598 --> 01:25:39,797 Did I tell you I'm a grandmother? No. 1174 01:25:39,869 --> 01:25:42,703 But I think you picked a weird time to announce it. 1175 01:25:46,009 --> 01:25:49,241 Congratulations. Thank you. 1176 01:25:49,312 --> 01:25:51,325 Anyway, you're the youngest-looking 1177 01:25:51,349 --> 01:25:53,909 grandmother I've had a peak experience with. 1178 01:25:53,983 --> 01:25:57,784 Well, my mother thanks you. My father thanks you. 1179 01:25:57,854 --> 01:26:02,485 My hairdresser thanks you. And my plastic surgeon thanks you. 1180 01:26:04,427 --> 01:26:10,367 When Harry says, "You're not the girl I married," he doesn't know how right he is. 1181 01:26:10,433 --> 01:26:16,373 Didn't Harry like your old nose? Harry thinks this is my old nose. 1182 01:26:16,439 --> 01:26:19,273 He never noticed? No. Isn't that pathetic? 1183 01:26:19,342 --> 01:26:23,780 I mean, a new dress or something, I could understand, but a whole nose? 1184 01:26:23,847 --> 01:26:27,113 Well, to be totally honest, I don't see any difference either. 1185 01:26:27,183 --> 01:26:31,177 Well, I don't care. It's sure different from my side. 1186 01:26:31,254 --> 01:26:34,816 Makes me feel more attractive. 1187 01:26:34,891 --> 01:26:38,089 Anyway, that's this year's bad story about Harry. 1188 01:26:38,161 --> 01:26:40,960 Have you got one about Helen? 1189 01:26:41,030 --> 01:26:45,024 Well, there was this loud party next door. 1190 01:26:45,101 --> 01:26:48,128 Helen couldn't sleep. 1191 01:26:48,204 --> 01:26:52,039 And, uh, she didn't wanna take a sleeping pill... 1192 01:26:52,108 --> 01:26:57,274 because she had to get up at 6:00 in the morning. 1193 01:26:57,347 --> 01:27:01,409 So she took a couple of pills and stuffed them in her ears. 1194 01:27:01,484 --> 01:27:04,079 What? 1195 01:27:04,153 --> 01:27:07,214 During the night, the pills melted. 1196 01:27:07,290 --> 01:27:10,624 Then the next day, while the doctor was digging the stuff out of her ears, 1197 01:27:10,693 --> 01:27:14,892 he said, "You know, these can be taken orally." 1198 01:27:16,799 --> 01:27:20,497 Helen just laughed. She didn't care. 1199 01:27:20,570 --> 01:27:24,200 I'll tell you something. If that's the worst story you can tell about your wife, 1200 01:27:24,274 --> 01:27:26,505 you must be a very happy man. 1201 01:27:26,576 --> 01:27:29,637 Well, let's just say I've discovered the potential for happiness. 1202 01:27:38,555 --> 01:27:41,389 Yes, Liz? 1203 01:27:43,726 --> 01:27:47,720 No, honey. It's 60 guests, not 16. 1204 01:27:49,899 --> 01:27:54,496 There's no problem. We've catered parties for her lots of times. It... 1205 01:27:54,571 --> 01:27:57,336 I know, but she puts little tables around her swimming pool, 1206 01:27:57,407 --> 01:28:00,639 and then there's room on the patio for the buffet. 1207 01:28:00,710 --> 01:28:03,874 Right. It's a brunch. 1208 01:28:03,947 --> 01:28:07,975 Right. That's okay. Sure. 1209 01:28:08,051 --> 01:28:10,850 Uh, Liz, did Harry call? 1210 01:28:15,658 --> 01:28:19,060 Okay. You know where to reach me, huh? 1211 01:28:22,865 --> 01:28:26,734 I'm sorry. It was a busy weekend, and I had to leave a number. 1212 01:28:26,803 --> 01:28:31,639 Does Harry know you're here? No. Harry still thinks I go on retreat. 1213 01:28:31,708 --> 01:28:33,643 Don't worry. 1214 01:28:33,710 --> 01:28:37,272 I'm not worried. Yeah? Then why are you frowning? 1215 01:28:37,347 --> 01:28:40,875 I'm getting bad vibes again. Again? 1216 01:28:40,950 --> 01:28:46,218 Yeah. When you first walked in, I picked up on your high tension level. 1217 01:28:46,289 --> 01:28:49,350 Then after we made love, I sensed a certain anxiety reduction, 1218 01:28:49,425 --> 01:28:54,830 but, uh, now I'm getting definite negative feedback. 1219 01:28:54,897 --> 01:28:56,889 When did you go into analysis? 1220 01:28:56,966 --> 01:29:01,233 - How did you know I was in analysis? - Just a wild guess. 1221 01:29:01,304 --> 01:29:04,468 What made you start? 1222 01:29:04,540 --> 01:29:09,001 My value system changed. One day, I took a look at my $150,000 house... 1223 01:29:09,078 --> 01:29:14,517 and the three cars in the garage and the swimming pool and the gardeners, 1224 01:29:14,584 --> 01:29:17,986 and I asked myself, "Why?" 1225 01:29:18,054 --> 01:29:21,752 I mean, did I really want the whole status trip? 1226 01:29:21,824 --> 01:29:26,421 So I decided to try to find out what I did want and who I was. 1227 01:29:26,496 --> 01:29:29,989 So you went from analysis to Esalen to Gestalt... 1228 01:29:30,066 --> 01:29:34,504 to encounter groups to transactional to nirvana, huh? 1229 01:29:34,570 --> 01:29:37,836 Just because some people are trying to widen their emotional horizons... 1230 01:29:37,907 --> 01:29:40,433 doesn't make the experience any less valid. 1231 01:29:40,510 --> 01:29:43,537 I've learned a lot. So I've noticed. 1232 01:29:43,613 --> 01:29:46,663 For one thing, you've learned to talk as though you're reasoning with somebody... 1233 01:29:46,683 --> 01:29:49,847 about to jump from a high ledge. 1234 01:29:49,919 --> 01:29:54,880 Okay, okay. I know sometimes I tend to overcompensate for my emotionalism. 1235 01:29:56,793 --> 01:30:00,491 Occasionally, there's a loss of spontaneity. I'm working on that. 1236 01:30:00,563 --> 01:30:04,796 Well, I'm glad to hear it. What else have you learned? 1237 01:30:07,036 --> 01:30:10,336 That behind the walls I've built around myself, 1238 01:30:10,406 --> 01:30:14,104 I'm a warm, caring, loving human being. 1239 01:30:14,177 --> 01:30:17,739 Well, I could've told you that 20 years ago. 1240 01:30:19,749 --> 01:30:23,982 Tell me. How's Helen reacting to your voyage of self-discovery? 1241 01:30:24,053 --> 01:30:27,421 Well, at first, she tended to overreact. Oh, yeah? In what way? 1242 01:30:27,490 --> 01:30:30,892 She threw a grapefruit at me in the supermarket. 1243 01:30:30,960 --> 01:30:33,513 Listen. It's only natural that there'd be 1244 01:30:33,537 --> 01:30:36,365 some interpersonal conflicts to work through, 1245 01:30:36,432 --> 01:30:39,527 but now it's cool. 1246 01:30:39,602 --> 01:30:43,664 - Helen's into pottery. - Oh. And what are you doing for a living? 1247 01:30:43,740 --> 01:30:46,801 ♪♪ We live very simply, Doris. 1248 01:30:46,876 --> 01:30:52,645 We don't need much. What bread we do need, I can provide by simple, honest labor. 1249 01:30:52,715 --> 01:30:56,152 Like what? I play cocktail piano in a singles bar in the Valley. 1250 01:31:06,162 --> 01:31:08,791 Yes, Liz? 1251 01:31:12,902 --> 01:31:17,169 No. No. Tell 'em that's our final offer. 1252 01:31:17,240 --> 01:31:19,869 Oh, that's a lot of bull. I know it's a good piece of property, 1253 01:31:19,942 --> 01:31:23,902 but he needs us more than we need him. 1254 01:31:23,980 --> 01:31:28,475 Well, if he doesn't like it, tell him to shove it. And don't worry. He won't. 1255 01:31:30,586 --> 01:31:34,216 Okay, hon. Thanks. Anything else? 1256 01:31:34,290 --> 01:31:37,385 All right. Well, I'll be at this number. 1257 01:31:37,460 --> 01:31:39,759 Okay. 1258 01:31:41,097 --> 01:31:44,431 I'm buying another store. Why? 1259 01:31:44,500 --> 01:31:48,665 - Money. - Is that why you went into business? To make money? 1260 01:31:48,738 --> 01:31:53,733 No. I wanted power too. I take it you are for women's liberation? 1261 01:31:53,810 --> 01:31:57,770 - Hey, I'm for any kind - of liberation. - That's a cop-out. 1262 01:31:57,847 --> 01:32:01,545 Women have always been exploited by men, and you know it. 1263 01:32:01,617 --> 01:32:07,454 Doris, we've all been shafted, and by the same things. 1264 01:32:07,523 --> 01:32:11,927 Look. Let me lay this on you. I go to a woman doctor. 1265 01:32:11,994 --> 01:32:15,192 Oh, yeah? First time she gave me a rectal examination, 1266 01:32:15,264 --> 01:32:19,599 she said, "Am I hurting you or are you tense?" 1267 01:32:19,669 --> 01:32:24,039 I said, "I'm tense." She said, "Are you tense because I'm a woman?" 1268 01:32:24,106 --> 01:32:28,305 I said, "No. I get tense when anybody does that to me." 1269 01:32:28,377 --> 01:32:31,506 See what I mean? Well, I don't know about that, 1270 01:32:31,581 --> 01:32:34,710 but I do know in this country, nobody takes a woman seriously... 1271 01:32:34,784 --> 01:32:37,777 until she has enough money to back up her mouth. 1272 01:32:37,854 --> 01:32:40,824 Hey, I think it's great to have a hobby. 1273 01:32:40,890 --> 01:32:43,826 A hobby? 1274 01:32:43,893 --> 01:32:47,455 We grossed a half million the first year. 1275 01:32:47,530 --> 01:32:52,093 Doris, don't misunderstand me. If that's what you want, I'm very happy for you. 1276 01:32:53,336 --> 01:32:56,397 I'm just not into the money thing anymore. 1277 01:32:57,740 --> 01:33:01,108 Do you ever get the feeling we're drifting apart? 1278 01:33:01,177 --> 01:33:04,477 No. In many ways, I've never felt closer to you. 1279 01:33:04,547 --> 01:33:10,384 I don't know. Somehow it seems to me our lives are out of sync. 1280 01:33:10,453 --> 01:33:15,084 Look. We all realize our potential in different ways at different times. 1281 01:33:15,157 --> 01:33:18,150 The important thing is, does what you do give you a sense of fulfillment? 1282 01:33:18,227 --> 01:33:22,028 Well, I'm working on it. And you have everything you want? 1283 01:33:22,098 --> 01:33:25,034 With one minor exception. 1284 01:33:25,101 --> 01:33:29,801 Somewhere along the way, I seem to have lost my husband. 1285 01:33:29,872 --> 01:33:34,333 - Lost him? - Well, I don't know if I lost him... 1286 01:33:34,410 --> 01:33:36,675 or I simply misplaced him. 1287 01:33:36,746 --> 01:33:41,207 He left home four days ago, and I haven't heard from him since. 1288 01:33:41,284 --> 01:33:45,585 How do you feel about that? George, do me a favor. 1289 01:33:45,655 --> 01:33:48,388 Stop talking as though you're leading a human 1290 01:33:48,412 --> 01:33:50,923 potential group. It really pisses me off. 1291 01:33:50,993 --> 01:33:53,792 That's cool. What's cool? 1292 01:33:53,863 --> 01:33:58,028 For you to transfer your feelings of hostility and aggression from Harry to me. 1293 01:33:58,100 --> 01:34:01,366 As long as you know that's what you're doing. You know something? 1294 01:34:01,437 --> 01:34:04,271 You're really beginning to get on my nerves. 1295 01:34:04,340 --> 01:34:07,504 That's cool too. Jesus. 1296 01:34:07,576 --> 01:34:13,538 I mean it. At least it's honest. Total honesty is the key to everything. 1297 01:34:13,616 --> 01:34:15,949 Really? Are you being totally honest with Helen? 1298 01:34:16,018 --> 01:34:20,456 - I'm trying. - Oh, yeah? Have you told her about us? 1299 01:34:20,523 --> 01:34:23,687 No, but I could. I think today she's mature enough to handle it. 1300 01:34:23,759 --> 01:34:26,092 George, you're full of shit. 1301 01:34:30,599 --> 01:34:33,763 I can buy that. 1302 01:34:33,836 --> 01:34:37,500 I mean, if you're being totally honest. 1303 01:34:37,573 --> 01:34:41,533 Believe me. I am being totally honest. 1304 01:34:43,813 --> 01:34:46,681 Well, at least it's a start. 1305 01:34:46,749 --> 01:34:49,810 And what about all that other garbage? 1306 01:34:49,885 --> 01:34:53,583 "I don't know if I lost him or simply misplaced him." 1307 01:34:53,656 --> 01:34:58,720 What kind of crap is that? All right. You've got a point. 1308 01:34:58,794 --> 01:35:02,561 So how do you feel about all this? You're doing it again! 1309 01:35:02,631 --> 01:35:06,898 Okay. I think... Don't tell me how you think. 1310 01:35:06,969 --> 01:35:10,906 Tell me how you feel. 1311 01:35:10,973 --> 01:35:14,137 Like I've been kicked in the stomach. 1312 01:35:14,210 --> 01:35:16,475 What else? 1313 01:35:17,880 --> 01:35:23,751 Angry. Hurt. Betrayed. 1314 01:35:23,819 --> 01:35:27,119 And, okay, a little guilty. But I'll tell you something. 1315 01:35:27,189 --> 01:35:30,250 I really resent the fact that he's making me feel guilty. 1316 01:35:30,326 --> 01:35:32,693 Why do you feel resentment? 1317 01:35:32,762 --> 01:35:36,790 Well, look. I didn't marry Harry because he had a good head for business. 1318 01:35:36,866 --> 01:35:41,167 Okay. So it turns out that I do, or maybe I was lucky. I don't know. 1319 01:35:41,237 --> 01:35:47,108 The point is, I don't love him any less just 'cause he's a failure as a provider, 1320 01:35:47,176 --> 01:35:51,705 so why should he love me less just 'cause I'm a success? 1321 01:35:51,781 --> 01:35:54,842 Have you told him you still love him? Love him. 1322 01:35:56,485 --> 01:36:00,149 What's he think I've been hanging around for 27 years for? 1323 01:36:00,222 --> 01:36:03,681 Would it be so hard to let him know you understand how he feels? 1324 01:36:03,759 --> 01:36:06,786 Right now it would, yes. 1325 01:36:06,862 --> 01:36:09,263 Do you want him back? 1326 01:36:10,766 --> 01:36:14,100 I don't know. 1327 01:36:14,170 --> 01:36:18,369 But ask me again tomorrow, and I'll probably give you a different answer. 1328 01:36:18,441 --> 01:36:20,376 Why? 1329 01:36:22,678 --> 01:36:25,978 Because tomorrow I won't have you. 1330 01:36:32,321 --> 01:36:37,055 - I'm always with you in spirit. - Thanks a lot. 1331 01:36:37,126 --> 01:36:41,427 It's kind of difficult to put your cold feet on somebody's spirit, 1332 01:36:41,497 --> 01:36:44,626 especially when they're 400 miles away. 1333 01:36:49,472 --> 01:36:53,842 Is that a proposal, Doris? 1334 01:36:53,909 --> 01:36:58,472 Are you interested? Are you? 1335 01:37:01,283 --> 01:37:04,253 I've always thought we'd make a nice couple. 1336 01:37:05,688 --> 01:37:07,919 You didn't answer the question. 1337 01:37:07,990 --> 01:37:11,483 I was the one who proposed. 1338 01:37:14,497 --> 01:37:17,399 Well, don't look so panicky, George. 1339 01:37:17,466 --> 01:37:21,267 I was only three-quarters serious. 1340 01:37:25,641 --> 01:37:29,237 Well, when you're completely serious, ask me again. 1341 01:37:29,311 --> 01:37:33,373 I bet you say that to all the girls. 1342 01:37:33,449 --> 01:37:35,441 No. 1343 01:37:40,589 --> 01:37:44,390 Thank you. You hungry? 1344 01:37:44,460 --> 01:37:47,692 Yes. Well, you're in luck. 1345 01:37:47,763 --> 01:37:52,394 Because today, your lunch is being catered by the chicest, 1346 01:37:52,468 --> 01:37:56,269 most expensive French delicatessen in all of San Francisco. 1347 01:37:56,338 --> 01:38:00,207 How did we swing that? The owner's got a thing for ya. 1348 01:38:00,276 --> 01:38:03,041 It's out in the trunk of my car. Can I help? 1349 01:38:03,112 --> 01:38:06,276 Why, you could set the table and turn on some nice music... 1350 01:38:06,348 --> 01:38:08,340 and when I come back, make me laugh, huh? 1351 01:38:08,417 --> 01:38:11,148 I'll try. Don't worry. 1352 01:38:11,220 --> 01:38:15,157 If you can't make me laugh, just hold my hand. 1353 01:38:37,079 --> 01:38:39,571 Hello? 1354 01:38:39,648 --> 01:38:43,483 Uh, no, she's not here right now. Who's this? 1355 01:38:45,988 --> 01:38:48,822 Harry? Um... 1356 01:38:48,891 --> 01:38:53,852 Uh, would you... would you just hold on for a minute, please? 1357 01:39:07,743 --> 01:39:09,735 Hello? 1358 01:39:11,447 --> 01:39:15,646 Harry, we're two mature adult human beings, and I've decided to be honest. 1359 01:39:17,753 --> 01:39:21,690 No. Doris is not here right now, but I'd like to talk to you. 1360 01:39:23,592 --> 01:39:25,606 Because I know that you and Doris are 1361 01:39:25,630 --> 01:39:28,053 having a pretty rough time right now, and... 1362 01:39:30,332 --> 01:39:33,632 Uh, we're very close friends. 1363 01:39:33,702 --> 01:39:37,969 I've known Doris for 20 years, and I feel that through her, I know you. 1364 01:39:41,477 --> 01:39:45,141 We've been meeting this same weekend for 20 years. 1365 01:39:48,951 --> 01:39:52,718 The retreat? Uh, yeah. 1366 01:39:52,788 --> 01:39:56,987 I'll, uh... I'll get to that in a minute, but, um, 1367 01:39:57,059 --> 01:40:00,188 first I'd like to tell you something, Harry. 1368 01:40:00,262 --> 01:40:03,061 She loves you. 1369 01:40:03,132 --> 01:40:08,366 Well, I just know. Look. Maybe if I told you a story she told me this morning, 1370 01:40:08,437 --> 01:40:11,134 maybe it would help you understand. 1371 01:40:11,206 --> 01:40:16,509 Uh, a few months ago, Doris was supposed to act as den mother... 1372 01:40:16,578 --> 01:40:20,982 for your 10-year-old daughter and her Indian Guide group. 1373 01:40:21,050 --> 01:40:25,317 And Doris was a little late. She was hung up at the store, 1374 01:40:25,387 --> 01:40:27,879 and she got home about two hours late. 1375 01:40:27,956 --> 01:40:30,591 When she walked into the house, she looked in 1376 01:40:30,615 --> 01:40:33,156 the living room, and you know what she saw? 1377 01:40:33,228 --> 01:40:37,393 A rather overweight, balding, middle-aged man with a feather on his head... 1378 01:40:37,466 --> 01:40:41,562 sitting cross-legged on the floor, very gravely and gently... 1379 01:40:41,637 --> 01:40:45,301 telling a circle of totally absorbed girls what it was like... 1380 01:40:45,374 --> 01:40:49,402 to be in a World War II Japanese prison camp. 1381 01:40:51,347 --> 01:40:55,512 And she turned around and went outside and got in her car... 1382 01:40:55,584 --> 01:40:59,578 and thanked God for being married to a man like you. 1383 01:41:04,593 --> 01:41:08,030 Are you still there, Harry? 1384 01:41:09,965 --> 01:41:15,836 Yeah, well, look. Sometimes married people get into an emotional straitjacket, 1385 01:41:15,904 --> 01:41:20,672 and it's kind of hard for them to express how they truly feel about each other. 1386 01:41:26,482 --> 01:41:30,715 Total honesty is the key. 1387 01:41:30,786 --> 01:41:33,449 Yes, I've known Doris for 20 years, 1388 01:41:33,522 --> 01:41:36,356 and I'm not ashamed to admit that it's been one of the most intimate, 1389 01:41:36,425 --> 01:41:40,590 satisfying experiences of my life. 1390 01:41:41,697 --> 01:41:43,859 My name? 1391 01:41:48,103 --> 01:41:52,404 My name is Father Michael O'Herlihy. 1392 01:41:52,474 --> 01:41:56,969 Right. Oh. 1393 01:42:50,699 --> 01:42:53,999 It never changes, does it? About the only thing that doesn't. 1394 01:42:54,069 --> 01:42:57,506 I find that comforting. 1395 01:42:57,573 --> 01:43:00,338 Even old Chalmers hasn't changed. 1396 01:43:00,409 --> 01:43:03,811 He must be 75 by now. 1397 01:43:03,879 --> 01:43:09,375 You remember when we first met? Even then, we called him old Chalmers. 1398 01:43:09,451 --> 01:43:12,216 He must've been the same age then that we are now. 1399 01:43:12,287 --> 01:43:15,951 That I don't find so comforting. 1400 01:43:16,024 --> 01:43:18,789 We were very young. Yeah. 1401 01:43:18,861 --> 01:43:22,923 Have we changed much? Oh, sure we have. 1402 01:43:22,998 --> 01:43:27,299 I grew up with you. Remember all those dumb lies I used to tell? 1403 01:43:27,369 --> 01:43:31,306 Yeah. How about me? Have I grown up too? 1404 01:43:31,373 --> 01:43:35,538 I had the feeling you were already grown up when we met. 1405 01:43:39,848 --> 01:43:42,841 Why is it every time I look at you, I want to put my hands all over you? 1406 01:43:42,918 --> 01:43:47,913 That's another thing that hasn't changed. You always were a sex maniac. 1407 01:43:53,061 --> 01:43:56,554 I'll start a fire. Okay. 1408 01:43:56,632 --> 01:43:59,101 You know, I figured out with the cost of firewood today, 1409 01:43:59,167 --> 01:44:03,935 it's cheaper to buy furniture, break it up and burn it. 1410 01:44:04,006 --> 01:44:07,909 Are things that tight? No. I'm okay. 1411 01:44:07,976 --> 01:44:11,105 I've been doing some teaching at U.C.L.A. Ah. 1412 01:44:11,179 --> 01:44:15,207 What? Music? Accounting. 1413 01:44:15,284 --> 01:44:17,549 With the way things are happening out there, 1414 01:44:17,619 --> 01:44:21,420 it seems that figures are still the only things that don't lie. 1415 01:44:24,560 --> 01:44:26,222 Doris, why'd you sell your business? 1416 01:44:27,596 --> 01:44:31,328 How did you know about that? I'll tell you later. 1417 01:44:31,400 --> 01:44:35,804 What made you do it? A chain bought me out. 1418 01:44:35,871 --> 01:44:39,137 It was just the right offer at the right time. 1419 01:44:39,207 --> 01:44:44,942 But what do you do with yourself now? Oh, I read and watch TV... 1420 01:44:45,013 --> 01:44:49,747 and visit my grandchildren, play a little golf. 1421 01:44:49,818 --> 01:44:53,482 You know, all the jet set stuff. 1422 01:44:53,555 --> 01:44:56,286 I thought you loved working. 1423 01:44:56,358 --> 01:44:59,453 Well, there was another factor. 1424 01:44:59,528 --> 01:45:02,862 Harry had a heart attack. It turned out to be a mild one, 1425 01:45:02,931 --> 01:45:06,197 but he needed me at the time, so... 1426 01:45:06,268 --> 01:45:09,602 Besides, it's not like I'm in permanent retirement. 1427 01:45:09,671 --> 01:45:14,234 There's a local election in a couple of months, and I've been approached to run. 1428 01:45:14,309 --> 01:45:17,507 On what ticket? Independent. 1429 01:45:17,579 --> 01:45:19,946 Figures. 1430 01:45:20,015 --> 01:45:22,507 Harry's okay now? Oh, yeah. 1431 01:45:22,584 --> 01:45:26,885 He runs four miles a day and has a body like Mark Spitz. 1432 01:45:26,955 --> 01:45:31,984 Unfortunately, he still has a face like Ernest Borgnine, but... 1433 01:45:35,197 --> 01:45:40,158 How's everything with you and Harry emotionally? 1434 01:45:43,839 --> 01:45:46,707 Comfortable. Comfortable? 1435 01:45:46,775 --> 01:45:49,711 Well, that's not such a bad state to be in. 1436 01:45:49,778 --> 01:45:53,772 That word's been given a bad reputation by the young. 1437 01:45:55,684 --> 01:45:59,451 Where's your luggage? Still in the car? 1438 01:45:59,521 --> 01:46:03,185 I didn't bring any. I can't stay. 1439 01:46:04,860 --> 01:46:07,796 Why not? Look, I have a lot to say... 1440 01:46:07,863 --> 01:46:13,063 and a very short time to say it, so I'd better start. 1441 01:46:13,135 --> 01:46:16,230 In the first place, it turns out that... 1442 01:46:16,304 --> 01:46:19,297 Helen found out about us 10 years ago. 1443 01:46:24,980 --> 01:46:29,418 When did you learn that? Two months ago. 1444 01:46:31,019 --> 01:46:33,955 And she never confronted you with it before? 1445 01:46:34,022 --> 01:46:37,789 No. What made her tell you now? 1446 01:46:37,859 --> 01:46:41,921 She didn't. We have a very close friend, Connie. 1447 01:46:41,997 --> 01:46:45,297 Did... Have I ever mentioned her? - No. 1448 01:46:45,367 --> 01:46:47,927 Well, Connie told me. 1449 01:46:48,003 --> 01:46:52,668 All those years, and she never even hinted that she knew. 1450 01:46:57,179 --> 01:47:00,343 I guess that's the nicest story I've ever told about her. 1451 01:47:00,415 --> 01:47:05,444 - Your wife is an amazing woman. - She passed away, Doris. 1452 01:47:11,293 --> 01:47:14,957 I lost her six months ago. 1453 01:47:16,732 --> 01:47:19,827 It was very fast. 1454 01:47:23,839 --> 01:47:25,998 I'm sorry to blurt it out like that. I 1455 01:47:26,022 --> 01:47:28,607 couldn't think of a graceful way to tell you. 1456 01:47:30,078 --> 01:47:32,877 It's so strange. 1457 01:47:32,948 --> 01:47:38,046 I never even met Helen, and I feel like I've just lost my best friend. 1458 01:47:41,623 --> 01:47:44,957 Are the kids okay? The kids are great. If it weren't for them, 1459 01:47:45,026 --> 01:47:48,690 I don't know if I'd have gotten through this whole thing. 1460 01:47:48,764 --> 01:47:51,529 I wish you'd tried to reach me. Well, I did. 1461 01:47:51,600 --> 01:47:54,570 That's how I found out you'd sold the store. 1462 01:47:54,636 --> 01:47:58,164 They gave me your home number, and I... 1463 01:47:58,240 --> 01:48:02,177 I let the phone ring four times, and then I hung up. 1464 01:48:02,244 --> 01:48:04,907 But I felt better knowing you were there if I needed you. 1465 01:48:04,980 --> 01:48:10,544 Oh, I wish you'd spoken to me. Well, I didn't want to intrude. 1466 01:48:10,619 --> 01:48:14,078 I didn't think I had the right. 1467 01:48:16,258 --> 01:48:19,057 That's just terrible. We should've been together. 1468 01:48:21,229 --> 01:48:24,927 You know, I've been thinking about us a lot lately, 1469 01:48:26,535 --> 01:48:31,337 everything we've been through together, things we've shared, 1470 01:48:31,406 --> 01:48:34,672 times we've helped each other. 1471 01:48:34,743 --> 01:48:38,180 Did you know we made love 113 times? What? 1472 01:48:38,246 --> 01:48:43,742 I figured that out on my Bomar calculator. 1473 01:48:43,819 --> 01:48:47,915 I think it's wonderful when people know each other that well. 1474 01:48:47,989 --> 01:48:50,891 You know, there's nothing about you I don't know. 1475 01:48:50,959 --> 01:48:54,123 You take two sugars, right? No. One. 1476 01:48:54,196 --> 01:48:56,995 Okay. Uh... 1477 01:48:57,065 --> 01:49:01,161 Oh, well, okay. Maybe I don't know everything about you. 1478 01:49:02,938 --> 01:49:06,238 You know, I don't know who your favorite movie stars are. 1479 01:49:06,308 --> 01:49:09,301 And I couldn't remember the name of your favorite perfume. 1480 01:49:09,377 --> 01:49:13,109 - I racked my brain, and I couldn't think of it. - That's funny. 1481 01:49:13,181 --> 01:49:15,241 It's My Sin. 1482 01:49:20,488 --> 01:49:24,721 But I do know that in 26 years, I've never been out of love with you. 1483 01:49:26,428 --> 01:49:29,921 I think that's incredible. 1484 01:49:31,833 --> 01:49:35,793 - So what do you say, Doris? - You wanna get married? 1485 01:49:35,871 --> 01:49:39,638 Married? We shouldn't even be doing this. 1486 01:49:39,708 --> 01:49:42,473 I'm serious. 1487 01:49:46,414 --> 01:49:50,249 Oh, my God. You are. 1488 01:49:50,318 --> 01:49:54,949 Well, what'd you think I was, just a summer romance? 1489 01:49:57,826 --> 01:50:01,263 A simple yes will do. 1490 01:50:02,530 --> 01:50:06,365 There is no such thing, my love. 1491 01:50:09,671 --> 01:50:12,698 What is it? 1492 01:50:12,774 --> 01:50:17,269 I was just thinking of how many times I've dreamed of your asking me this. 1493 01:50:17,345 --> 01:50:22,977 You know, that's pulled me through a lot of bad times. I wanna thank you for that. 1494 01:50:23,051 --> 01:50:26,215 What did you say those other times? 1495 01:50:27,455 --> 01:50:30,391 I always said yes. 1496 01:50:30,458 --> 01:50:34,759 Why are you hesitating now? Do you realize I'm offering you the opportunity... 1497 01:50:34,829 --> 01:50:37,765 to marry a man who has known you for 26 years... 1498 01:50:37,832 --> 01:50:41,428 and can't walk by you without wanting to grab your ass? 1499 01:50:41,503 --> 01:50:43,870 You always were a sweet talker. 1500 01:50:45,440 --> 01:50:47,500 Doris, will you marry me? 1501 01:50:51,513 --> 01:50:53,846 I can't. 1502 01:50:54,916 --> 01:50:57,249 Why not? 1503 01:51:00,221 --> 01:51:02,747 I'm already married. 1504 01:51:02,824 --> 01:51:06,226 You feel you have to stay with him because he needs you? 1505 01:51:06,294 --> 01:51:11,289 No. No. It's a lot of things. 1506 01:51:12,467 --> 01:51:15,301 Affection. 1507 01:51:15,370 --> 01:51:17,839 Respect. 1508 01:51:17,906 --> 01:51:20,933 And a sense of continuity. 1509 01:51:21,009 --> 01:51:24,502 I mean, we share all the same memories. 1510 01:51:25,714 --> 01:51:28,809 It's comfortable. 1511 01:51:28,883 --> 01:51:34,652 Goddamn it. I was the one who brought you back together six years ago. 1512 01:51:34,723 --> 01:51:38,160 Why did I do such a stupid thing? Why was I so generous? 1513 01:51:38,226 --> 01:51:42,630 Because you felt the same way then about Helen as I do now about Harry, that's why. 1514 01:51:42,697 --> 01:51:45,462 And besides, if you hadn't, you might've been stuck with me for good, 1515 01:51:45,533 --> 01:51:48,697 and that idea scared you to death. 1516 01:51:52,540 --> 01:51:55,908 You always could see through me, couldn't you? 1517 01:51:55,977 --> 01:51:58,970 But that's okay, 'cause... 1518 01:52:00,415 --> 01:52:03,408 I've always loved what I've seen. 1519 01:52:05,420 --> 01:52:08,686 Well, I want you now. 1520 01:52:10,992 --> 01:52:15,157 You can still have me once a year, same time, same place. 1521 01:52:15,230 --> 01:52:18,223 Doris, I need a wife. 1522 01:52:19,768 --> 01:52:23,170 I'm just not the kind of man who can live alone. 1523 01:52:23,238 --> 01:52:28,370 What I'm trying to say is that without you, I'll probably end up with Connie. 1524 01:52:31,079 --> 01:52:34,982 Look, she knows all about us, and, uh, she's not the kind of person... 1525 01:52:35,050 --> 01:52:38,817 who would go along with it. 1526 01:52:38,887 --> 01:52:42,324 I guess what I'm trying to say is that... 1527 01:52:44,626 --> 01:52:47,653 we'll never see each other again. 1528 01:53:01,910 --> 01:53:05,142 Doris, for God's sake, marry me. 1529 01:53:14,923 --> 01:53:17,290 I can't. 1530 01:53:25,700 --> 01:53:29,000 I wish there were something I could say that would make you... 1531 01:53:29,070 --> 01:53:32,666 burst into tears and run away with me. 1532 01:53:36,578 --> 01:53:41,346 Well, you know us Irish. We never cry. 1533 01:53:44,252 --> 01:53:47,381 Yeah, well... 1534 01:53:50,692 --> 01:53:54,390 I have to catch a plane. 1535 01:54:06,007 --> 01:54:08,067 Who were your favorite movie stars? 1536 01:54:12,147 --> 01:54:15,049 Laurence Olivier. 1537 01:54:15,116 --> 01:54:17,915 Marlon Brando. 1538 01:54:17,986 --> 01:54:20,421 Cary Grant. 1539 01:54:22,924 --> 01:54:25,257 Lon McCallister. 1540 01:56:01,623 --> 01:56:05,822 Okay. I'm back, goddamn it. 1541 01:56:07,562 --> 01:56:11,465 - What about Connie? - Connie is 87 years old. 1542 01:56:11,532 --> 01:56:14,593 What? Look. I wanted you to marry me, 1543 01:56:14,669 --> 01:56:18,401 and I figured if you thought somebody else wanted me, I'd stand a better chance. 1544 01:56:18,473 --> 01:56:22,342 Okay. Maybe I didn't think things through. 1545 01:56:22,410 --> 01:56:25,471 I was desperate, okay? 1546 01:56:25,546 --> 01:56:28,630 Look. I don't even wanna discuss it. I'm back, and I'm gonna keep coming back... 1547 01:56:28,650 --> 01:56:32,143 every year until our bones are too brittle to risk contact. 1548 01:56:47,669 --> 01:56:49,695 ♪ Hello ♪ 1549 01:56:49,771 --> 01:56:54,038 ♪ It all started with hello ♪ 1550 01:56:54,108 --> 01:56:58,341 ♪ On an evening long ago ♪ 1551 01:56:58,413 --> 01:57:01,872 ♪ When an unexpected smile ♪ 1552 01:57:01,949 --> 01:57:04,214 ♪ Caught my eye ♪ 1553 01:57:04,285 --> 01:57:06,413 ♪ Hello ♪ 1554 01:57:06,487 --> 01:57:10,424 ♪ If I'd smiled and looked away ♪ 1555 01:57:10,491 --> 01:57:14,587 ♪ We would not be here today ♪ 1556 01:57:14,662 --> 01:57:19,862 ♪ To never say good-bye ♪ 1557 01:57:19,934 --> 01:57:24,929 ♪ For the last time I felt like this ♪ 1558 01:57:25,006 --> 01:57:29,410 ♪ I was falling in love ♪ ♪ I was falling ♪ 1559 01:57:29,477 --> 01:57:35,178 ♪ Falling and feeling I'd never fall in love again ♪ 1560 01:57:35,249 --> 01:57:39,880 ♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪ 1561 01:57:39,954 --> 01:57:42,014 ♪ Was long before I knew ♪ 1562 01:57:42,090 --> 01:57:46,824 What I'm feeling now ♪ 1563 01:57:46,894 --> 01:57:49,955 ♪ With you ♪ 1564 01:57:50,031 --> 01:57:55,095 ♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪ 1565 01:57:55,169 --> 01:57:59,300 ♪ I was falling in love ♪ ♪ I was falling ♪ 1566 01:57:59,374 --> 01:58:01,366 ♪ Falling and feeling ♪ 1567 01:58:01,442 --> 01:58:05,140 ♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪ 1568 01:58:05,213 --> 01:58:09,878 ♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪ 1569 01:58:09,951 --> 01:58:12,443 ♪ Was long before I knew ♪ 1570 01:58:12,520 --> 01:58:17,424 What I'm feeling now ♪ 1571 01:58:17,492 --> 01:58:25,492 ♪ With you♪♪ 1572 01:58:26,305 --> 01:59:26,401 Ondertitels door Mister Bee Bart Besems 129485

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