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♪ Hello ♪
2
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♪ I don't even know your name ♪
3
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♪ But I'm hoping all the same ♪
4
00:02:23,378 --> 00:02:28,817
♪ This is more than just a simple hello ♪
5
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♪ Hello ♪
6
00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:34,879
♪ Do I smile and look away ♪
7
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♪ No, I think I'll smile and stay ♪
8
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♪ To see where this might go ♪
9
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♪ 'Cause the last time I felt like this ♪
10
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♪ I was falling in love ♪
11
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♪ Falling and feeling ♪
12
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♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪
13
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♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪
14
00:03:03,585 --> 00:03:07,317
♪ Was long before I knew ♪
15
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:11,052
♪ What I'm feeling now ♪
16
00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:18,225
♪ With you ♪
17
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,427
♪ Hello ♪
18
00:03:20,502 --> 00:03:24,598
♪ I can't wait till we're alone ♪
19
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♪ Somewhere quiet on our own ♪
20
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♪ So that we can fall ♪
21
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♪ The rest of the way ♪
22
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♪ I know ♪
23
00:03:35,917 --> 00:03:39,410
♪ That before the night is through ♪
24
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♪ I'll be talking love to you ♪
25
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♪ Meaning every word ♪
26
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♪ I say ♪
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00:03:48,530 --> 00:03:53,332
♪ Oh, the last time I felt like this ♪
28
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:57,600
♪ I was falling in love ♪
29
00:03:57,672 --> 00:04:00,574
♪ Falling and feeling ♪
30
00:04:00,642 --> 00:04:03,544
♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪
31
00:04:03,611 --> 00:04:08,174
♪ Yes, the last time I felt like
this ♪ ♪ The very last time ♪
32
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,184
♪ Was long before I knew ♪
33
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:15,656
What I'm feeling now ♪
34
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♪ With you♪♪
35
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Ondertitels door Mister Bee
Bart Besems
36
00:05:36,571 --> 00:05:38,699
Come on, damn it.
37
00:05:47,482 --> 00:05:49,417
Hi.
38
00:05:49,484 --> 00:05:52,454
Uh... hello.
39
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,922
That's a real sharp-lookin' outfit.
40
00:05:57,291 --> 00:06:00,193
What time is it? My
watch is on the bed table.
41
00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:06,232
- Ten to 12:00?
- No, no, it's 8:25.
42
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,235
The stem is broken.
43
00:06:08,302 --> 00:06:11,204
It's three hours and 25 minutes fast.
44
00:06:11,272 --> 00:06:13,503
Why don't you get it fixed?
45
00:06:14,876 --> 00:06:17,869
I was going to, but I got used to it.
46
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,938
Doesn't it mix you up?
47
00:06:21,015 --> 00:06:25,111
No, I'm very quick with figures. Oh.
48
00:06:25,186 --> 00:06:28,088
Why are you looking at me like that?
49
00:06:28,156 --> 00:06:30,819
Why do you have to look so luminous?
50
00:06:30,892 --> 00:06:33,885
It would make things easier if
you woke up with puffy eyes...
51
00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:37,523
and blotchy skin like everyone else.
52
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:41,057
I guess God just figured that
chubby thighs were enough.
53
00:06:41,135 --> 00:06:44,765
Look, this isn't gonna just go
away. We have to talk about this.
54
00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:46,831
Okay.
55
00:06:50,812 --> 00:06:53,043
Where you going? I wanna brush my teeth.
56
00:06:53,114 --> 00:06:55,049
Dorothy, sit down.
57
00:06:55,116 --> 00:06:58,814
Oh, by the way... No, please, sit.
58
00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:00,821
Dorothy, in the first place,
59
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:03,858
I want you to know that what happened
last night was the most beautiful,
60
00:07:03,925 --> 00:07:06,156
wonderful, crazy thing
that's ever happened to me,
61
00:07:06,227 --> 00:07:08,162
and I'll never forget it or you.
62
00:07:08,229 --> 00:07:10,721
Doris.
63
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:14,326
What? My name is Doris.
64
00:07:17,405 --> 00:07:19,897
Your name is Doris? Yes.
65
00:07:21,342 --> 00:07:24,403
I've been calling you
Dorothy all night. I know.
66
00:07:24,479 --> 00:07:29,383
Why didn't you tell me earlier? I
didn't know we were gonna end up...
67
00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,579
And then I did try and tell
you, but you weren't listening.
68
00:07:34,355 --> 00:07:37,223
When?
69
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:40,557
It was right in the middle of everything.
70
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:44,326
It was incredible, wasn't it?
71
00:07:44,398 --> 00:07:47,857
It was... nice.
72
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:51,633
I mean, especially the last time.
73
00:07:53,274 --> 00:07:55,937
I know, I'm an animal.
74
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,479
I don't know what came over me.
75
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:03,541
I mean, I was... what... Wait, what
was wrong with the first two times?
76
00:08:03,618 --> 00:08:07,385
Well, the first time was a little fast.
77
00:08:07,455 --> 00:08:12,826
And, um, the second time...
78
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,992
Listen, I really feel
funny talking about this.
79
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:20,967
It was a very beautiful thing, Doris.
80
00:08:21,035 --> 00:08:24,528
There was nothing ugly or
disgusting about what we did.
81
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,268
Then how come you look
so down in the dumps?
82
00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:30,277
Because my wife is going to kill me.
83
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:34,042
Well, how's she gonna
find out? She knows already.
84
00:08:34,115 --> 00:08:37,677
- You said she was in New Jersey.
- It doesn't matter. She knows.
85
00:08:37,752 --> 00:08:40,847
How?
86
00:08:40,922 --> 00:08:43,482
Was it as incredible
for you as it was for me?
87
00:08:43,558 --> 00:08:47,893
Do all men like to talk
about it a lot afterwards?
88
00:08:49,297 --> 00:08:51,766
Why? You think I'm some
kind of a pervert or something?
89
00:08:51,833 --> 00:08:53,768
Oh, no! I was just curious.
90
00:08:53,835 --> 00:08:58,102
See, I was a virgin when I got
married. Well, at least sort of.
91
00:08:59,941 --> 00:09:02,001
Sort of?
92
00:09:02,076 --> 00:09:05,513
Well, I was pregnant,
but I don't count that.
93
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:07,981
Doris, that counts!
94
00:09:08,049 --> 00:09:11,645
No, I mean it was by the man
that I married. Oh, I see. I'm sorry.
95
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:15,349
Oh, that's all right. See, Harry and
me were gonna get married anyway.
96
00:09:15,423 --> 00:09:18,825
That just speeded things up a little bit.
97
00:09:18,893 --> 00:09:23,888
It turns out I get pregnant if
we drink out of the same cup.
98
00:09:23,965 --> 00:09:26,366
What's the matter?
99
00:09:26,434 --> 00:09:28,960
Nothing. I-I-I-I'm fine.
100
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:30,971
I'm all right.
101
00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,473
Doris? What?
102
00:09:35,276 --> 00:09:38,007
I think I'm in love with you.
103
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:46,214
I mean, it's crazy. It's really crazy.
104
00:09:46,287 --> 00:09:48,984
I don't even know if you've
read Catcher in the Rye.
105
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:52,515
Oh, no, I didn't even finish
high school. There. You see?
106
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:56,587
I don't even care, and I'm
really a snob about education.
107
00:09:58,366 --> 00:10:00,995
Of course, I should have
known this would happen.
108
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:04,561
When it comes to life, I have a
brown thumb. What do you mean?
109
00:10:04,639 --> 00:10:08,371
I mean nothing I ever do turns out right.
110
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:11,708
First time... First time I
had sex, I was 18 years old.
111
00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:15,341
We were in the back seat of
a parked 1938 Dodge sedan.
112
00:10:15,416 --> 00:10:18,318
Right in the middle of
it, we were rear-ended.
113
00:10:18,386 --> 00:10:21,185
Oh. And you didn't have any insurance?
114
00:10:21,255 --> 00:10:23,918
No, that's not exactly
what I mean. I mean...
115
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:26,187
Oh. Look, take last night.
116
00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:29,094
You know what the radio was
playing while we were making love?
117
00:10:29,163 --> 00:10:31,997
No. "If I Knew You Were
Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake."
118
00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:34,695
So? So that's gonna be our song.
119
00:10:34,769 --> 00:10:36,704
Is it? No.
120
00:10:36,771 --> 00:10:40,765
I mean, other people would have gotten
"Be My Love" or "Some Enchanted Evening."
121
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:45,245
Me, I get "If I Knew You Were
Coming, I'd Have Baked A Cake."
122
00:10:53,521 --> 00:10:55,649
What is it?
123
00:10:55,723 --> 00:10:59,023
I really want to take a bath now.
124
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:01,221
Oh, I'm so... Oh, I see. I'm sorry.
125
00:11:01,295 --> 00:11:03,287
It's okay.
126
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:09,200
Yeah. Okay. Oh, sure.
I'll... I'll wait out... I'll be out...
127
00:11:44,305 --> 00:11:47,332
Wow!
128
00:11:47,408 --> 00:11:49,400
We're in big trouble, Doris. Huh?
129
00:11:49,477 --> 00:11:52,379
I really think I've
fallen in love with you.
130
00:11:52,446 --> 00:11:55,006
- You wanna know what kind of luck I have?
- Yeah.
131
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:57,881
I'm happily married!
132
00:11:57,952 --> 00:11:59,944
Are you Jewish?
133
00:12:00,021 --> 00:12:02,217
No.
134
00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:05,555
Then how come you feel so
guilty? Don't you feel guilty?
135
00:12:05,626 --> 00:12:10,564
You kidding? Half my
high school became nuns.
136
00:12:10,631 --> 00:12:13,465
I guess the Catholics have
rules about this sort of thing.
137
00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:16,504
Oh, yeah, we have rules about everything.
138
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,062
That's what's so great
about being Catholic.
139
00:12:19,140 --> 00:12:21,336
You always know where you stand.
140
00:12:21,409 --> 00:12:24,470
I tell you, Doris, I feel
like slitting my wrists.
141
00:12:24,545 --> 00:12:28,038
- Are you Italian?
- What's with you and nationalities?
142
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:31,210
Nothing. You're just so emotional.
143
00:12:31,285 --> 00:12:34,084
I happen to be a C.P.A. Oh?
144
00:12:34,155 --> 00:12:38,388
I could be as logical
as the next person. Oh.
145
00:12:38,459 --> 00:12:41,190
Well, you don't strike me
as the accountant type.
146
00:12:41,262 --> 00:12:44,130
It's very simple. My
whole life has been a mess.
147
00:12:44,198 --> 00:12:46,758
Figures always come out right.
148
00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:49,770
What are you? Oh, I'm Irish.
149
00:12:49,837 --> 00:12:53,433
Well, they're emotional. Why aren't
you yelling or crying or something?
150
00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:56,306
I did all of that before in the bathroom.
151
00:12:56,377 --> 00:12:59,711
Crying? Nope. Yelling.
152
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:04,047
I didn't hear you. I stuffed
a towel in my mouth.
153
00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:06,917
I'm sorry. It's all right.
154
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:09,582
No sense crying over spilt milk.
155
00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:12,593
Yeah, you're right.
156
00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:15,960
How come we feel so terrible?
157
00:13:16,030 --> 00:13:19,865
Because we're two decent, honest
people, and this thing is tearing us apart.
158
00:13:19,934 --> 00:13:22,733
I mean, I know it
wasn't our fault, but I...
159
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:26,604
I keep seeing the faces of my children
and the look of betrayal in their eyes.
160
00:13:26,674 --> 00:13:29,337
I keep thinking about my marriage vows,
161
00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:32,380
the trust my wife has placed in me...
162
00:13:32,446 --> 00:13:36,406
and all the experiences
we've shared together.
163
00:13:36,484 --> 00:13:38,715
And you know the worst part of it all?
164
00:13:38,786 --> 00:13:40,948
What?
165
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:45,516
While I'm thinking all this,
166
00:13:45,593 --> 00:13:48,188
I have this fantastic hard-on.
167
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:55,500
I really wish you hadn't said that.
168
00:13:55,569 --> 00:13:58,334
I'm sorry. I think we should be
totally honest with each other.
169
00:13:58,405 --> 00:14:01,569
It's not that. It's that I
have to go to confession.
170
00:14:08,549 --> 00:14:10,541
You know...
171
00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:14,714
W-We're both crazy.
You know that, don't you?
172
00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:19,692
I mean, this sort of thing happens
every day to millions of people.
173
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:24,755
You don't use actual names
in confession, do you? No.
174
00:14:34,942 --> 00:14:37,036
Doris, may I ask you something?
175
00:14:37,111 --> 00:14:40,081
Sure.
176
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:42,776
Would you go to bed with me again?
177
00:14:42,850 --> 00:14:45,183
Oh, George, I can't.
178
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:48,245
Why not? 'Cause we'd
just feel worse afterwards.
179
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:51,383
Oh, no. I'm over that now. I
just remembered something.
180
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,950
What? The Russians have the bomb.
181
00:14:54,028 --> 00:14:56,395
We could all be dead tomorrow.
182
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:59,262
George, I think you're clutching at straws.
183
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:02,132
Doris, don't you understand? No.
184
00:15:02,203 --> 00:15:05,002
We're two grown-up people.
185
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:09,442
We have absolutely nothing
to be ashamed or afraid of.
186
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:18,252
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
187
00:15:18,319 --> 00:15:20,948
What are we gonna do?
188
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,616
What are we gonna do?
189
00:15:23,691 --> 00:15:25,887
Uh... Coming! My hat. My bag.
190
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,259
What? My hat! My bag!
191
00:15:30,064 --> 00:15:32,056
Be right there.
192
00:15:33,968 --> 00:15:36,233
Wait a minute! Wait a
minute! Where are you going?
193
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,075
Okay.
194
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:44,941
- Don't go in the bathroom.
- Why not?
195
00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:48,244
That's the first place they'd look.
196
00:15:48,315 --> 00:15:50,307
Oh!
197
00:15:57,191 --> 00:15:59,990
Oh, hello. Oh, good morning, Mr. Peters.
198
00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:02,746
I've got your breakfast.
Did you have a good night?
199
00:16:02,770 --> 00:16:03,690
Yes. Fine, fine.
200
00:16:03,764 --> 00:16:07,758
Uh, y-you know, I think
I heard an owl out here.
201
00:16:22,616 --> 00:16:27,054
I'm a C. P.A. When you work hard
all year, it's great to get back to nature.
202
00:16:27,121 --> 00:16:29,784
I really loved it. That's right.
203
00:16:29,857 --> 00:16:33,385
Well, thank you,
Mr. Chalmers. You're welcome.
204
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:35,554
Have a nice day, now. Thank you. You too.
205
00:16:35,629 --> 00:16:38,861
- Enjoy the view.
- Yes, I will. I'll just - wander around by myself.
206
00:16:44,538 --> 00:16:46,473
Doris?
207
00:16:50,911 --> 00:16:52,903
Doris?
208
00:16:56,884 --> 00:16:59,285
Have you got a woman in there?
209
00:17:01,088 --> 00:17:04,525
It's okay. It was old
Mr. Chalmers with my breakfast.
210
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:08,358
I was very calm. He didn't suspect a
thing. He didn't ask about the girdle.
211
00:17:08,429 --> 00:17:11,399
- What?
- Girdle.
212
00:17:13,734 --> 00:17:15,669
Oh, great!
213
00:17:15,736 --> 00:17:18,205
Now he probably thinks
I'm a homo. Oh, well.
214
00:17:18,272 --> 00:17:21,538
What do you care? I stay here every year.
215
00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:24,009
Oh, yeah? How come?
216
00:17:24,078 --> 00:17:26,877
I have a friend who went into
the wine business near here.
217
00:17:26,947 --> 00:17:31,282
I fly out the same weekend every
year to do his books. From New Jersey?
218
00:17:31,352 --> 00:17:34,049
He was my first client. It's
sort of a sentimental thing.
219
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:36,113
Oh, I see.
220
00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:42,624
Uh, Doris, I'd like to tell
you something. Okay.
221
00:17:42,696 --> 00:17:45,632
You probably think I do
this sort of thing all the time.
222
00:17:45,699 --> 00:17:49,397
I know I must appear very
smooth and glib and sexual.
223
00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:53,566
But since I've been married, this
is the very first time I've done this.
224
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:58,635
Ah, sure. Don't worry. I could tell.
225
00:17:58,712 --> 00:18:02,308
Listen, would you mind if I
had a little of your breakfast?
226
00:18:02,383 --> 00:18:05,285
Sure. I'm not hungry. Thank you.
227
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:09,881
Even when I was single, I was
no good at quick, superficial affairs.
228
00:18:09,957 --> 00:18:12,859
I always had to like the person...
What do you mean, you could tell?
229
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:16,419
In what way could you tell? - What? Oh.
230
00:18:16,497 --> 00:18:18,693
Uh, well, it was just little things,
231
00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:22,100
you know, like when you tried to
take your pants off over your shoes...
232
00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:25,936
and t... tripped and hit your
head on the coffee table.
233
00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:28,805
Just little things like that.
234
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,471
It's great to be totally honest
with another person, isn't it?
235
00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,847
It sure is.
236
00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:39,978
Doris, I haven't been totally
honest with you. You haven't?
237
00:18:41,889 --> 00:18:45,985
- I told you I was a married man with two children.
- You're not?
238
00:18:47,461 --> 00:18:49,987
I'm a married man with three children.
239
00:18:52,633 --> 00:18:55,831
I thought it would make
me seem less married.
240
00:18:55,903 --> 00:18:59,499
All right, I didn't think
it through, all right?
241
00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:03,408
There's been like a lead
weight inside me all morning.
242
00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:06,743
I mean, denying little Debbie like that!
243
00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:13,016
I was under a certain stress
or I wouldn't have done it.
244
00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:16,784
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Y-You understand?
245
00:19:16,857 --> 00:19:20,885
Sure. We all do dopey things sometimes.
246
00:19:25,866 --> 00:19:28,859
Well...
247
00:19:28,936 --> 00:19:31,701
I really should be going.
248
00:19:31,772 --> 00:19:34,708
The nuns are gonna be
wondering what happened to me.
249
00:19:39,413 --> 00:19:43,316
Nuns? Did you say nuns?
250
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,945
Yeah, somehow it just didn't
seem right to bring up last night,
251
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:51,151
but I was on my way to retreat.
252
00:19:51,225 --> 00:19:53,319
Retreat? Yeah.
253
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:55,328
See, it's right near here.
254
00:19:55,395 --> 00:19:59,059
I go every year at this time when
Harry takes the kids to Bakersfield.
255
00:19:59,132 --> 00:20:01,397
What's in Bakersfield? His mother.
256
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:03,403
It's her birthday.
257
00:20:03,470 --> 00:20:07,202
Doesn't she mind that you
don't go? No, she hates me.
258
00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:10,972
'Cause I got pregnant. Her son
had something to do with that.
259
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:14,037
Yeah, she blocks that out of her mind.
260
00:20:14,114 --> 00:20:16,606
See, he was in his first
year of dental college...
261
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:20,814
and he had to quit and take a
job selling waterless cooking.
262
00:20:20,888 --> 00:20:24,256
So now every year on her
birthday, I just go on retreat.
263
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,259
To think about God?
264
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:29,660
Well, him too, sure,
but also about myself...
265
00:20:29,730 --> 00:20:33,633
'cause, see, I got
pregnant when I was just 18,
266
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:37,296
so I've never really had
any time to just think.
267
00:20:37,371 --> 00:20:40,102
You know, I mean, about,
268
00:20:40,173 --> 00:20:43,143
well, what I think about.
269
00:20:44,478 --> 00:20:47,243
Never mind. I don't know
what I'm trying to say.
270
00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:50,876
Sometimes I think I'm crazy. Why?
271
00:20:50,951 --> 00:20:54,388
Oh. Well,
272
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,923
okay, like, take my life.
273
00:20:56,990 --> 00:21:01,724
Now, we live in a two-bedroom
duplex in downtown Oakland,
274
00:21:01,795 --> 00:21:05,232
and we have a 1948 Studebaker,
275
00:21:05,299 --> 00:21:07,894
a blond, three-piece dinette set,
276
00:21:07,968 --> 00:21:09,903
Motorola TV.
277
00:21:09,970 --> 00:21:12,530
We go bowling at least once a week.
278
00:21:12,606 --> 00:21:15,633
I mean, what more could anyone ask for?
279
00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:18,770
But sometimes...
280
00:21:18,845 --> 00:21:20,905
things get me down.
281
00:21:20,981 --> 00:21:24,145
Oh, I don't know. It's dumb.
282
00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:29,820
I don't think it's dumb.
283
00:21:29,890 --> 00:21:32,325
You don't? No.
284
00:21:35,095 --> 00:21:39,430
You know, I can really talk to you.
285
00:21:39,499 --> 00:21:41,434
It's just amazing.
286
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:45,666
I find myself saying things to you
that I didn't even know I thought.
287
00:21:45,739 --> 00:21:48,937
I noticed that yesterday right
after we met in the restaurant.
288
00:21:49,009 --> 00:21:51,501
We had instant rapport.
Did you notice that too?
289
00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:55,572
No, but I know we really hit it off.
290
00:21:55,649 --> 00:21:59,279
See, Harry's not much
of a talker, you know.
291
00:21:59,353 --> 00:22:02,619
How 'bout your wife? Do
you two get to talk a lot?
292
00:22:05,459 --> 00:22:08,224
Uh... Uh, Doris, it's only natural...
293
00:22:08,295 --> 00:22:11,288
that we should be curious about
each other's husband and wife,
294
00:22:11,365 --> 00:22:14,460
but-but rather than dwelling on
it and letting it spoil everything,
295
00:22:14,534 --> 00:22:16,696
why... why don't we...
Why don't we do this?
296
00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:19,001
I'll tell you two stories about my wife...
297
00:22:19,072 --> 00:22:22,065
One showing the worst side of her,
the other showing the best side of her.
298
00:22:22,142 --> 00:22:24,782
You do the same thing about
your husband, and then let's forget it.
299
00:22:24,811 --> 00:22:26,905
Okay. I'll go first.
300
00:22:26,980 --> 00:22:28,972
I'll start with the worst side. Okay.
301
00:22:29,049 --> 00:22:33,316
Phyllis knows about us. Oh, you
said that before. How could she know?
302
00:22:33,387 --> 00:22:36,983
She's got this thing in
her head! Like a plate?
303
00:22:37,057 --> 00:22:41,654
A plate? Oh, my uncle has one of those.
304
00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:43,754
He was wounded in the war,
305
00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:46,664
and they put this steel plate in his head.
306
00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:51,068
Now he says he can always
tell when it's going to rain.
307
00:22:54,007 --> 00:22:56,476
I'm in big trouble, Doris. Why?
308
00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:59,877
Because I find everything
you say absolutely fascinating.
309
00:22:59,946 --> 00:23:03,644
Come on! Tell me about
your wife's steel plate.
310
00:23:03,717 --> 00:23:08,280
No, no, it's not a plate.
It's more like a bell. A bell.
311
00:23:08,355 --> 00:23:10,137
I could be a million miles away. If I look
312
00:23:10,161 --> 00:23:12,053
at another woman, it
goes off like an alarm.
313
00:23:12,125 --> 00:23:14,060
Oh, I see.
314
00:23:14,127 --> 00:23:18,758
I just know that last night at exactly
1:22 a.m., she sat bolt upright in bed...
315
00:23:18,832 --> 00:23:22,599
with her head going ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!
316
00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:24,604
How do you know it was 1:22?
317
00:23:24,671 --> 00:23:27,607
Because I have peripheral vision,
and I noticed my watch said 4:47.
318
00:23:27,674 --> 00:23:30,576
Oh.
319
00:23:30,644 --> 00:23:34,775
Well, okay, now, tell me,
um, something nice about her.
320
00:23:38,618 --> 00:23:41,611
Well... she made me believe in myself.
321
00:23:43,523 --> 00:23:47,517
It's probably hard for you to imagine this,
but there was a time I was very insecure.
322
00:23:47,594 --> 00:23:52,032
How did she do that...
make you believe in yourself?
323
00:23:52,099 --> 00:23:54,034
She married me.
324
00:23:54,101 --> 00:23:57,230
Oh. Yes, well, that was very nice of her.
325
00:23:57,304 --> 00:24:00,536
Oh, no, no, no. I meant bolstering
you up and all, you know?
326
00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:04,009
Okay, your turn. Tell
me the worst story first.
327
00:24:04,077 --> 00:24:06,069
Okay. Um...
328
00:24:08,749 --> 00:24:11,082
Ooh, this is hard. To pick one?
329
00:24:11,151 --> 00:24:13,177
No, to think of one.
330
00:24:13,253 --> 00:24:16,621
See, Harry's the salt of the
earth. Everybody says so.
331
00:24:16,690 --> 00:24:19,683
Look, you owe me at least one rotten story.
332
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,752
Oh, okay.
333
00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:25,230
Uh...
334
00:24:25,298 --> 00:24:29,394
Well, I don't know. This
isn't really rotten, but... Okay?
335
00:24:29,469 --> 00:24:31,461
All right.
336
00:24:31,538 --> 00:24:34,702
Now, this was on our fourth anniversary.
337
00:24:34,775 --> 00:24:37,973
We decided that we'd have
some people over to help celebrate.
338
00:24:38,044 --> 00:24:41,014
So Harry doesn't usually drink,
339
00:24:41,081 --> 00:24:45,075
but that night he had three beers.
340
00:24:45,152 --> 00:24:47,815
It was after the Gillette fights.
341
00:24:49,990 --> 00:24:53,154
Well, I just overheard him
talking to some of the guys,
342
00:24:53,226 --> 00:24:55,286
and he said that his...
343
00:24:55,362 --> 00:24:58,560
His time in the army were
the best years of his life.
344
00:24:58,632 --> 00:25:03,730
What's wrong with that? A lot of
guys feel that way about the service.
345
00:25:03,804 --> 00:25:05,739
Harry was in the army for four years,
346
00:25:05,806 --> 00:25:09,208
and three of 'em were spent
in a Japanese prison camp!
347
00:25:12,946 --> 00:25:15,939
Okay. Now do you want to hear
the story about the good side of him?
348
00:25:16,016 --> 00:25:18,247
Not particularly. Aw, come on. You have to.
349
00:25:18,318 --> 00:25:21,311
I don't want you to get the wrong
impression of him. Okay, if you insist.
350
00:25:21,388 --> 00:25:24,381
I do. Okay.
351
00:25:24,457 --> 00:25:27,655
Harry's this, like, big, heavyset
kind of guy, you know...
352
00:25:27,727 --> 00:25:30,492
I really wish you hadn't told me that. Why?
353
00:25:30,564 --> 00:25:34,126
Oh! No, don't worry.
He's gentle as a puppy.
354
00:25:34,201 --> 00:25:37,365
Anyway, uh, last year
he got this great idea...
355
00:25:37,437 --> 00:25:39,929
that he'd take Tony out to fly a kite.
356
00:25:40,006 --> 00:25:41,941
See, Tony's our four-year-old.
357
00:25:42,008 --> 00:25:45,536
And so they went out to the park to
fly a kite, but there wasn't any wind.
358
00:25:45,612 --> 00:25:49,777
So it's about an hour later, and I was
on my way home from the laundromat.
359
00:25:49,850 --> 00:25:51,785
I passed by...
360
00:25:51,852 --> 00:25:55,016
and I see Tony sound asleep in the car.
361
00:25:55,088 --> 00:25:57,114
I look out in the park.
362
00:25:57,190 --> 00:25:59,921
There's Harry all alone in the park,
363
00:25:59,993 --> 00:26:02,360
all red in the face and out of breath,
364
00:26:02,429 --> 00:26:04,989
and he's just pounding up and down...
365
00:26:05,065 --> 00:26:09,696
with this huge kite dragging
on the ground behind him.
366
00:26:11,605 --> 00:26:15,167
Oh, I don't know. It just really got to me.
367
00:26:15,876 --> 00:26:17,469
Yeah, I know.
368
00:26:17,544 --> 00:26:20,810
Helen has some nice
qualities too. Who's Helen?
369
00:26:20,881 --> 00:26:22,873
My wife.
370
00:26:22,949 --> 00:26:25,783
You said her name was Phyllis.
371
00:26:28,121 --> 00:26:31,148
I know. I lied.
372
00:26:31,224 --> 00:26:34,388
Phyllis! Helen! What's
the difference? I'm married!
373
00:26:34,461 --> 00:26:37,727
Look, I was nervous. I was afraid
you'd try to look me up or something.
374
00:26:37,797 --> 00:26:41,131
I didn't want to leave any clues.
375
00:26:41,201 --> 00:26:45,036
Is your name really
George? Well, of course it is.
376
00:26:45,105 --> 00:26:48,269
You think I'd lie about my own name?
377
00:26:48,341 --> 00:26:51,971
Yes. That would be crazy!
378
00:26:53,013 --> 00:26:56,006
Well, you're pretty crazy.
379
00:27:00,754 --> 00:27:02,746
It's funny, isn't it?
380
00:27:04,257 --> 00:27:07,785
Here we are in a hotel room,
gazing into each other's eyes.
381
00:27:07,861 --> 00:27:12,526
We're both married, and
we have six kids between us.
382
00:27:12,599 --> 00:27:15,763
Do you have any pictures?
383
00:27:17,170 --> 00:27:19,162
What? Pictures of your kids.
384
00:27:19,239 --> 00:27:22,141
Yeah, but I don't think
this is the time or place.
385
00:27:22,208 --> 00:27:25,940
Come on, come on. If you show
me yours, I'll show you mine.
386
00:27:26,012 --> 00:27:29,972
I keep mine in this little
folder we got free from Kodak.
387
00:27:30,050 --> 00:27:33,316
Where's yours? You have
to take the whole wallet.
388
00:27:40,026 --> 00:27:42,086
Ahh!
389
00:27:42,162 --> 00:27:44,563
Ohh.
390
00:27:44,631 --> 00:27:47,965
Is that the oldest one with
the glasses and baggy tights?
391
00:27:48,034 --> 00:27:51,027
Yeah, that's Michael.
Funny-looking kid, isn't he?
392
00:27:51,104 --> 00:27:54,336
No. What does he wanna be, Superman?
393
00:27:54,407 --> 00:27:56,501
No, Peter Pan.
394
00:27:56,576 --> 00:27:58,568
I'm kinda worried about him.
395
00:28:01,147 --> 00:28:03,582
Why is this one's face all scrunched up?
396
00:28:03,650 --> 00:28:06,142
That's Paul. That was
taken on a roller coaster.
397
00:28:06,219 --> 00:28:08,313
Isn't it natural looking?
398
00:28:08,388 --> 00:28:11,586
Right after that he threw up.
399
00:28:11,658 --> 00:28:14,822
Yeah, he's really, um...
400
00:28:14,894 --> 00:28:18,331
I guess he... I guess he takes after Harry.
401
00:28:18,398 --> 00:28:20,333
No, both of us, really.
402
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:23,734
What's your little girl's name? Debbie.
403
00:28:23,803 --> 00:28:27,083
That was on her second birthday. We were
trying to get her to blow out the candles.
404
00:28:27,107 --> 00:28:32,102
She's got her hand in the
cake. Neat is not her strong suit.
405
00:28:34,047 --> 00:28:35,982
Ohh.
406
00:28:36,049 --> 00:28:38,712
You have great-looking kids, George.
407
00:28:38,785 --> 00:28:40,777
Thank you. So do you.
408
00:28:40,854 --> 00:28:42,846
Thank you.
409
00:29:24,264 --> 00:29:28,258
Okay, but this is the last time.
410
00:29:36,609 --> 00:29:38,771
♪ Hello ♪
411
00:29:38,845 --> 00:29:42,782
♪ The seasons have come and gone ♪
412
00:29:42,849 --> 00:29:46,752
♪ And the world goes tumbling on ♪
413
00:29:46,820 --> 00:29:52,452
♪ Look what's happened
since I last saw your smile ♪
414
00:29:52,525 --> 00:29:54,551
♪ Hello ♪
415
00:29:54,627 --> 00:29:58,723
♪ Love's invited us back here ♪
416
00:29:58,798 --> 00:30:02,565
♪ The same as she did last year ♪
417
00:30:02,635 --> 00:30:04,900
♪ To come and spend ♪
418
00:30:04,971 --> 00:30:07,736
♪ A while ♪
419
00:30:07,807 --> 00:30:12,768
♪ And the last time I felt like
this ♪ ♪ The very last time ♪
420
00:30:12,846 --> 00:30:15,008
♪ I was falling in love ♪
421
00:30:15,081 --> 00:30:17,312
♪ I was falling ♪
422
00:30:17,383 --> 00:30:19,545
Falling and feeling ♪
423
00:30:19,619 --> 00:30:23,181
♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪
424
00:30:23,256 --> 00:30:27,921
♪ Yes, the last time I felt like
this ♪ ♪ The very last time ♪
425
00:30:27,994 --> 00:30:30,259
♪ Was long before I knew ♪
426
00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:33,198
♪ What I'm feeling ♪
427
00:30:34,300 --> 00:30:39,000
♪ What I'm feeling now with you♪♪
428
00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:42,601
Be sure and tell me before you come out.
429
00:30:42,675 --> 00:30:44,667
Right now. Wait a minute. Not yet.
430
00:30:46,913 --> 00:30:50,748
I'm getting bored. Okay, come on out.
431
00:30:50,817 --> 00:30:54,413
♪♪ ♪ If I knew you were
coming I'd have baked a cake ♪
432
00:30:54,487 --> 00:30:57,013
♪ Baked a cake Baked a cake ♪
433
00:30:57,090 --> 00:30:59,525
♪ If I knew you were coming
I'd have baked a cake ♪
434
00:30:59,592 --> 00:31:02,027
♪ How do you do How
do you do How do you do♪♪
435
00:31:02,095 --> 00:31:05,088
That's wonderful.
436
00:31:05,165 --> 00:31:08,067
Happy anniversary, darling.
437
00:31:15,475 --> 00:31:19,037
Blow out the candles
and make a wish. All right.
438
00:31:21,281 --> 00:31:25,048
What'd you wish? I only have one wish.
439
00:31:25,118 --> 00:31:28,088
What? That you keep on
showing up here every year.
440
00:31:30,757 --> 00:31:33,249
What? You hate my hair, don't you?
441
00:31:33,326 --> 00:31:35,795
I told you, I love your hair. Really?
442
00:31:35,862 --> 00:31:40,596
I don't know. Next time I'm going
to go into the city to get it done.
443
00:31:40,667 --> 00:31:44,160
How are the suburbs? Oh, muddy, mostly.
444
00:31:44,237 --> 00:31:48,038
Right now everyone's very excited.
445
00:31:48,107 --> 00:31:51,771
Next week they're gonna connect the sewers.
446
00:31:56,349 --> 00:32:01,151
It's not exactly the life of Scott
and Zelda, but we're surviving.
447
00:32:01,221 --> 00:32:03,713
Uh, let's go over there.
448
00:32:03,790 --> 00:32:06,954
Scott and Zelda, huh? You started reading.
449
00:32:07,026 --> 00:32:09,188
Oh, you don't know the half of it.
450
00:32:09,262 --> 00:32:12,096
I've joined the Book of the
Month Club. Good for you!
451
00:32:12,165 --> 00:32:15,499
Sometimes I even take
the alternate selections.
452
00:32:15,568 --> 00:32:19,232
Thank you.
453
00:32:19,305 --> 00:32:21,399
Good evening, Mr. Peters, ma'am.
454
00:32:21,474 --> 00:32:23,443
Hello, Mr. Chalmers. Nice to see you again.
455
00:32:23,509 --> 00:32:25,501
Good to be back.
456
00:32:30,950 --> 00:32:33,749
Well, how 'bout you? Are
you still in New Jersey?
457
00:32:33,820 --> 00:32:35,755
No. We moved to Connecticut. Really?
458
00:32:35,822 --> 00:32:39,418
We bought a barn and
converted it. Oh, what's it like?
459
00:32:39,492 --> 00:32:42,223
Drafty.
460
00:32:42,295 --> 00:32:45,288
Helen's got the decorating bug now.
461
00:32:45,365 --> 00:32:48,028
I have this mental picture
of her at my funeral,
462
00:32:48,101 --> 00:32:51,094
as they're closing the lid to my
coffin, throwing in two fabric swatches...
463
00:32:51,170 --> 00:32:55,938
and yelling out, "Which one do you like?"
464
00:32:56,009 --> 00:32:59,946
That's the bad story about
her. What else is new?
465
00:33:00,013 --> 00:33:01,948
Oh, how's Michael?
466
00:33:02,015 --> 00:33:05,349
Crazy as ever.
467
00:33:05,418 --> 00:33:09,082
He had this homework assignment to write
about what he did on his summer vacation.
468
00:33:09,155 --> 00:33:11,852
Trouble was, he wrote
what he actually did. What?
469
00:33:11,924 --> 00:33:14,052
Tried to get laid.
470
00:33:14,127 --> 00:33:18,292
He wrote in great comic detail
about his unfortunate tendency...
471
00:33:18,364 --> 00:33:22,859
to get an erection on all
forms of public transportation.
472
00:33:22,935 --> 00:33:25,666
The school almost suspended him.
473
00:33:25,738 --> 00:33:28,037
You're crazy about him, aren't you?
474
00:33:28,107 --> 00:33:31,566
He's a very weird kid, Doris.
475
00:33:31,644 --> 00:33:35,581
You know what? I think
that one really gets to you.
476
00:33:35,648 --> 00:33:38,584
Come on, now. Admit it.
477
00:33:41,387 --> 00:33:44,186
All right, I admit it. He's a nice kid.
478
00:33:44,257 --> 00:33:47,250
There. Was that so hard?
479
00:33:52,298 --> 00:33:55,291
Mmm. What was that for?
480
00:33:57,737 --> 00:34:00,366
For everything.
481
00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:03,501
For this.
482
00:34:03,576 --> 00:34:06,740
For one beautiful weekend
every year with no cares,
483
00:34:06,813 --> 00:34:09,078
no ties,
484
00:34:09,148 --> 00:34:11,208
no responsibilities.
485
00:34:16,789 --> 00:34:18,917
Thank you, Doris.
486
00:34:37,343 --> 00:34:39,278
Doris.
487
00:34:45,017 --> 00:34:48,647
Gee, and I just got all dressed up.
488
00:35:05,405 --> 00:35:07,397
Mmm.
489
00:35:10,376 --> 00:35:14,609
Oh, somebody has a rotten sense of timing.
490
00:35:17,350 --> 00:35:19,342
Damn.
491
00:35:24,791 --> 00:35:26,760
Hello?
492
00:35:26,826 --> 00:35:29,853
Yes, this is Daddy!
493
00:35:29,929 --> 00:35:32,330
Is there anything wrong?
494
00:35:32,398 --> 00:35:34,333
Funny?
495
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:38,428
That's probably because
Daddy was just, uh, uh...
496
00:35:38,504 --> 00:35:42,407
I have a frog in my throat, sweetheart.
497
00:35:42,475 --> 00:35:44,876
Uh... wh...
498
00:35:44,944 --> 00:35:47,140
Oh, it came out, huh?
499
00:35:48,514 --> 00:35:53,350
Ohh. Well, of course
the tooth fairy will come.
500
00:35:54,554 --> 00:35:57,149
Well, tonight, of course.
501
00:35:57,223 --> 00:36:00,216
Well, sweetheart, I wish
Daddy could find it for you,
502
00:36:00,293 --> 00:36:03,695
but I'm, uh... I'm working.
503
00:36:05,598 --> 00:36:08,591
Honey, does Mommy know you called?
504
00:36:10,102 --> 00:36:13,231
Oh, I'll try. Yes, I love
you too, sweetheart.
505
00:36:13,306 --> 00:36:15,434
Yes, I do!
506
00:36:15,508 --> 00:36:17,500
Very much! Ye...
507
00:36:17,577 --> 00:36:20,069
Okay.
508
00:36:22,615 --> 00:36:25,084
Okay, bye.
509
00:36:25,151 --> 00:36:28,417
Oh, God, I feel so guilty!
510
00:36:28,488 --> 00:36:30,650
Was that Debbie?
511
00:36:30,723 --> 00:36:33,215
Her tooth came out, and she can't find it,
512
00:36:33,292 --> 00:36:35,784
and she's afraid the
tooth fairy won't know.
513
00:36:35,862 --> 00:36:39,822
Oh, God, that thin, reedy little
voice! You know what that does to me?
514
00:36:39,899 --> 00:36:43,563
Sure, that cheerful look on your
face doesn't fool me for a minute.
515
00:36:43,636 --> 00:36:46,071
You think this is funny?
516
00:36:46,138 --> 00:36:48,937
Doris, my little girl,
said, "I love you, Daddy,"
517
00:36:49,008 --> 00:36:52,308
and I answered her in a
voice still hoarse with passion.
518
00:36:52,378 --> 00:36:55,712
I get the picture, George.
519
00:36:55,781 --> 00:36:58,273
Don't you ever feel guilty?
520
00:36:58,351 --> 00:37:00,843
Sometimes. Well, you never say anything.
521
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:04,687
Well, I just handle it in
a different way. How?
522
00:37:04,757 --> 00:37:06,692
Privately.
523
00:37:06,759 --> 00:37:10,093
Boy, something like this
really brings you up short.
524
00:37:10,162 --> 00:37:13,963
I mean, look at this. Look at me. Look.
525
00:37:14,033 --> 00:37:18,027
I tell you, Doris, when she
started talking about the tooth fairy,
526
00:37:18,104 --> 00:37:21,165
that affected me in a very profound manner.
527
00:37:21,240 --> 00:37:25,405
On top of which, I have
indigestion you won't believe.
528
00:37:25,478 --> 00:37:27,640
It hit me that hard, you know?
529
00:37:27,713 --> 00:37:31,377
I have three children
too, you know, George?
530
00:37:31,450 --> 00:37:33,385
What do you want me to do?
531
00:37:33,452 --> 00:37:36,820
It would be terrific if you
stopped talking about it.
532
00:37:36,889 --> 00:37:40,291
It is only making you feel
worse. I can't feel worse!
533
00:37:40,359 --> 00:37:42,885
That pure little voice...
No, you're right. Oh!
534
00:37:42,962 --> 00:37:45,955
No, forget it. Change the subject.
535
00:37:46,032 --> 00:37:49,366
So t-tell me about the
good story about Harry.
536
00:37:49,435 --> 00:37:51,427
He went bankrupt.
537
00:37:53,005 --> 00:37:56,635
How can you go bankrupt selling TV sets?
538
00:37:56,709 --> 00:38:00,043
Harry has one little failing as a salesman.
539
00:38:00,112 --> 00:38:04,948
It's a compulsion to talk people out
of things that they can't really afford.
540
00:38:05,017 --> 00:38:07,282
He kind of lacks the killer instinct.
541
00:38:07,353 --> 00:38:12,189
Actually, it's one of the
things about him that I like best.
542
00:38:12,258 --> 00:38:14,420
Oh, listen. Something just occurred to me.
543
00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:18,157
Instead of my leaving at my usual time,
would you mind if I left a little earlier?
544
00:38:18,230 --> 00:38:22,133
When did you have in mind?
There's a plane in half an hour.
545
00:38:24,503 --> 00:38:28,372
You want to leave 23 hours early?
546
00:38:28,441 --> 00:38:31,434
There's a connecting flight
from San Francisco in 90 minutes.
547
00:38:31,510 --> 00:38:33,445
I know how you feel. Really, I do.
548
00:38:33,512 --> 00:38:37,347
I wouldn't suggest it if you weren't
a mother and didn't understand.
549
00:38:37,416 --> 00:38:40,284
It wouldn't even occur to me
if-if this crisis hadn't come up.
550
00:38:40,353 --> 00:38:43,790
I don't mean just the tooth fairy.
551
00:38:43,856 --> 00:38:46,758
She could have swallowed the tooth.
552
00:38:46,826 --> 00:38:50,820
It could be lodged God knows where.
553
00:38:50,896 --> 00:38:54,856
Uh... have you seen my hairbrush?
554
00:38:54,934 --> 00:38:57,199
Doris, I'm probably doing you a big favor.
555
00:38:57,269 --> 00:39:01,297
If I did stay, I probably wouldn't be very
good company. I'm thinking of you too.
556
00:39:01,374 --> 00:39:04,970
With the way I'm feeling...
You probably understand.
557
00:39:19,592 --> 00:39:22,357
You feel somewhat rejected, right?
558
00:39:24,563 --> 00:39:27,556
I understand. Really, I do.
559
00:39:27,633 --> 00:39:32,799
I just want you to know that my leaving
has nothing to do with you and me.
560
00:39:32,872 --> 00:39:36,707
This is an emergency! I
have a sick child at home!
561
00:39:36,776 --> 00:39:38,938
Will you stop?
562
00:39:39,011 --> 00:39:43,847
This has nothing to do
with the goddamn tooth fairy!
563
00:39:43,916 --> 00:39:45,851
You are simply feeling guilty,
564
00:39:45,918 --> 00:39:49,878
and you wanna get as
far from me as possible.
565
00:39:49,955 --> 00:39:52,618
All right! I feel guilty, yes!
566
00:39:52,692 --> 00:39:54,627
Is that so strange?
567
00:39:54,694 --> 00:39:56,720
Doris, we're cheating.
568
00:39:56,796 --> 00:39:59,322
Once a year we lie to our families...
569
00:39:59,398 --> 00:40:01,890
and sneak off to a hotel in California...
570
00:40:01,967 --> 00:40:04,334
and commit adultery!
571
00:40:04,403 --> 00:40:07,567
Not that I want to stop doing it.
572
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:11,600
But yes, I feel guilty. I admit it.
573
00:40:11,677 --> 00:40:13,612
You admit it?
574
00:40:13,679 --> 00:40:16,114
You take out ads.
575
00:40:16,182 --> 00:40:19,175
I'll bet you stop strangers on the street!
576
00:40:19,251 --> 00:40:23,154
Y-You probably have a
scarlet "A" embroidered...
577
00:40:23,222 --> 00:40:25,214
on your jockey shorts.
578
00:40:25,291 --> 00:40:27,658
You go around like an open nerve saying,
579
00:40:27,727 --> 00:40:30,856
"Yes, I'm cheating, but
look how guilty I feel,
580
00:40:30,930 --> 00:40:33,661
so I must really be a nice guy."
581
00:40:33,733 --> 00:40:38,501
Then... Then to top it all, you
have the incredible arrogance...
582
00:40:38,571 --> 00:40:41,700
of thinking you're the only person
in the world with a conscience.
583
00:40:41,774 --> 00:40:44,334
Well, that doesn't make
you a nice guy, George!
584
00:40:44,410 --> 00:40:48,347
You know what that
makes you? A horse's ass!
585
00:40:59,091 --> 00:41:03,461
I liked you a lot better before you
joined the Book of the Month Club.
586
00:41:03,529 --> 00:41:05,725
Yes, I'll just bet you did.
587
00:41:05,798 --> 00:41:09,633
- Look, can we discuss this in the car?
- The car?
588
00:41:09,702 --> 00:41:13,195
I really hate to ask you, Doris,
but I need a lift to the airport.
589
00:41:40,833 --> 00:41:45,066
Cheer up, Doris. It's not the end of the
world. I'm not leaving you permanently.
590
00:41:45,137 --> 00:41:47,766
I'll see you next year.
591
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:49,809
No, I don't think you will.
592
00:41:49,875 --> 00:41:52,538
Just because I have
to leave early one year,
593
00:41:52,611 --> 00:41:55,775
you're willing to throw
away a lifetime of weekends?
594
00:41:55,848 --> 00:41:57,783
How can you be so casual?
595
00:41:57,850 --> 00:42:01,252
I don't see any point in
going on. Don't do that to me.
596
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,915
Don't try to manipulate me.
I get enough of that at home.
597
00:42:03,989 --> 00:42:08,723
What's the sense of meeting in guilt and
remorse, huh? What joy is there in that?
598
00:42:08,794 --> 00:42:13,664
Look, I have a commitment
there. And you have none here?
599
00:42:13,732 --> 00:42:17,169
Here? I thought our only commitment
here was to show up every year.
600
00:42:17,236 --> 00:42:19,171
Nice and tidy, huh?
601
00:42:19,238 --> 00:42:24,074
Just two friendly sex partners that
meet every year and touch and let go.
602
00:42:24,143 --> 00:42:27,079
Is that it? So maybe I was kidding myself.
603
00:42:27,146 --> 00:42:30,014
- I'm human.
- So am I.
604
00:42:30,082 --> 00:42:33,484
But you're different. You're stronger.
605
00:42:33,552 --> 00:42:35,612
Y-You seem able to take care of yourself.
606
00:42:35,688 --> 00:42:38,123
Listen, I'm gonna tell you something.
607
00:42:38,190 --> 00:42:42,355
In the past year, I've picked up
the phone to call you 10 times.
608
00:42:42,428 --> 00:42:44,761
I couldn't stop thinking about you.
609
00:42:44,830 --> 00:42:49,200
You kept slipping over into my real
life, and it scared the hell out of me.
610
00:42:49,268 --> 00:42:52,295
More to the point, I felt guilty.
611
00:42:52,371 --> 00:42:55,364
So I decided that we shouldn't
see each other anymore.
612
00:42:55,441 --> 00:42:59,139
I wasn't even going to come, but I
thought at least I owed you an explanation,
613
00:42:59,211 --> 00:43:01,373
so I came.
614
00:43:01,447 --> 00:43:04,849
When you walked through the door,
I knew I couldn't go through with it,
615
00:43:04,917 --> 00:43:07,216
that no matter what the price,
616
00:43:07,286 --> 00:43:09,221
I was willing to pay it.
617
00:43:09,288 --> 00:43:13,282
You better get on your plane.
618
00:44:06,879 --> 00:44:09,872
I love you, Doris. I'm an idiot.
619
00:44:09,949 --> 00:44:12,714
I suspect I'm deeply
neurotic and I'm no bargain,
620
00:44:12,785 --> 00:44:14,879
but I do love you.
621
00:44:14,954 --> 00:44:17,287
Will you let me stay?
622
00:44:20,359 --> 00:44:25,354
♪ Oh, the last time I felt like this ♪
623
00:44:25,431 --> 00:44:29,869
♪ I was falling in love ♪
624
00:44:29,935 --> 00:44:32,234
♪ Falling and feeling ♪
625
00:44:32,304 --> 00:44:35,706
♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪
626
00:44:35,774 --> 00:44:40,508
♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪
627
00:44:40,579 --> 00:44:43,515
♪ Was long before I knew ♪
628
00:44:43,582 --> 00:44:47,383
What I'm feeling now ♪
629
00:44:47,453 --> 00:44:51,151
♪ With you ♪
630
00:44:51,223 --> 00:44:56,753
♪ What I'm feeling now ♪
631
00:44:56,829 --> 00:44:59,458
♪ With ♪
632
00:44:59,531 --> 00:45:04,799
♪ You♪♪
633
00:45:13,212 --> 00:45:17,707
No, of course I haven't left Helen.
634
00:45:17,783 --> 00:45:20,014
I'm on a business trip.
635
00:45:20,085 --> 00:45:22,418
I come up here every year.
636
00:45:24,690 --> 00:45:28,183
I am not running away from the problem.
637
00:45:28,260 --> 00:45:30,820
Of course I know it's serious.
638
00:45:30,896 --> 00:45:34,890
I still don't think that's any reason
to call me long distance and try...
639
00:45:36,502 --> 00:45:39,336
Yes, I saw a doctor.
640
00:45:39,405 --> 00:45:42,068
He said... He said it's no big deal.
641
00:45:42,141 --> 00:45:45,873
He said every man has this
problem at one time or another and...
642
00:45:47,813 --> 00:45:51,409
Look, if we have to discuss this, you might
as well learn to pronounce it correctly.
643
00:45:51,483 --> 00:45:55,318
It's impotence, not im-po-tence.
644
00:45:59,825 --> 00:46:04,627
It is not something you
have to nip in the bud!
645
00:46:04,696 --> 00:46:07,689
Yes, of... of course I'm gonna
try to do something about it.
646
00:46:07,766 --> 00:46:11,601
Would you let me handle this in
my own way? Would you pl... May I...
647
00:46:11,670 --> 00:46:14,333
I... I'm gonna be fine, all right?
648
00:46:14,406 --> 00:46:18,309
I'm gonna... I'm gonna be
okay. I can feel it. I know it.
649
00:46:20,412 --> 00:46:22,847
I'm seeing someone
out here who's an expert.
650
00:46:32,991 --> 00:46:35,654
I'm gonna hang up now!
651
00:46:35,727 --> 00:46:37,719
Good-bye, Mother!
652
00:46:42,367 --> 00:46:44,962
Hello, Mr. Chalmers. Afternoon, ma'am.
653
00:46:57,649 --> 00:46:59,584
George?
654
00:46:59,651 --> 00:47:01,813
Be right out, darling.
655
00:47:27,779 --> 00:47:31,113
♪♪
656
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:38,880
♪♪
657
00:47:38,957 --> 00:47:41,517
♪♪
658
00:47:41,593 --> 00:47:43,926
How are you, lover?
659
00:47:52,771 --> 00:47:54,763
Guess what.
660
00:47:57,142 --> 00:47:59,270
Oh, my God!
661
00:48:03,715 --> 00:48:06,275
What did you do to yourself?
662
00:48:06,351 --> 00:48:08,684
Well, I can't take all the credit.
663
00:48:08,754 --> 00:48:11,883
It was sort of a mutual effort.
664
00:48:14,426 --> 00:48:17,362
George, when you haven't
seen an old friend in a whole year,
665
00:48:17,429 --> 00:48:21,196
isn't it customary to give
'em a kiss hello? What?
666
00:48:21,266 --> 00:48:23,258
A kiss?
667
00:48:24,536 --> 00:48:27,404
Kiss?
668
00:48:27,472 --> 00:48:30,067
Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry.
669
00:48:30,142 --> 00:48:32,805
Oh. Ohh.
670
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:36,672
You okay, pal? Oh, I'm fine.
671
00:48:36,748 --> 00:48:40,549
I'm fine. I'm just a little
surprised. You're surprised.
672
00:48:40,619 --> 00:48:44,112
I insisted upon visiting
the dead rabbit's grave.
673
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:52,855
George, how come you're wearing
your robe and pajamas in the afternoon?
674
00:48:55,968 --> 00:48:59,132
I'm rehearsing a Noël Coward play.
675
00:49:02,541 --> 00:49:05,602
Is there something on your mind?
676
00:49:05,677 --> 00:49:08,670
Uh, no, not anymore. No.
677
00:49:12,251 --> 00:49:14,652
You must be eight months pregnant.
678
00:49:14,720 --> 00:49:16,848
Exactly.
679
00:49:16,922 --> 00:49:19,414
Oh, come on! It's not all that tragic.
680
00:49:19,491 --> 00:49:24,156
We can find some other way
to communicate. Great. Great.
681
00:49:25,831 --> 00:49:27,766
You got any ideas?
682
00:49:27,833 --> 00:49:30,667
Is there something else bothering you?
683
00:49:30,736 --> 00:49:34,036
No. Mm-mmm. No.
684
00:49:36,108 --> 00:49:39,704
Well, you know, every year
it is always a little awkward...
685
00:49:39,778 --> 00:49:41,713
when we first meet.
686
00:49:41,780 --> 00:49:46,514
We manage to take care of that with a
lot of heavy breathing between the sheets.
687
00:49:46,585 --> 00:49:48,781
Uh, Doris, uh...
688
00:49:48,854 --> 00:49:51,847
If we're not gonna do it, do
you mind if we don't talk about it?
689
00:49:51,923 --> 00:49:55,189
No, I just meant maybe we need
something else to help break the ice.
690
00:49:55,260 --> 00:49:58,719
Well, I'm wide open to suggestions. Okay.
691
00:49:58,797 --> 00:50:00,789
How 'bout this?
692
00:50:00,866 --> 00:50:04,564
How about if, uh, if I tell you some
deep, dark secret about myself...
693
00:50:04,636 --> 00:50:06,628
that I've never told anyone before,
694
00:50:06,705 --> 00:50:10,540
and then you tell me
some secret about yourself.
695
00:50:10,609 --> 00:50:13,738
- I've had enough surprises.
- You're gonna like this one.
696
00:50:13,812 --> 00:50:16,338
I've been having sex dreams about you.
697
00:50:16,415 --> 00:50:19,681
Oh, yeah? Almost every night too.
698
00:50:19,751 --> 00:50:23,518
What kind of sex dreams?
That's what's so strange.
699
00:50:23,588 --> 00:50:25,580
They're always the same.
700
00:50:25,657 --> 00:50:30,118
I mean, we're making love,
but it's always underwater.
701
00:50:31,229 --> 00:50:33,789
It's in caves, grottos, swimming pools,
702
00:50:33,865 --> 00:50:35,925
but always underwater.
703
00:50:36,001 --> 00:50:37,936
Isn't that weird?
704
00:50:38,003 --> 00:50:40,996
I think it probably has something
to do with my being pregnant.
705
00:50:41,073 --> 00:50:43,372
Always underwater, huh? Come on.
706
00:50:43,442 --> 00:50:46,173
You tell me some deep,
dark secret about yourself.
707
00:50:46,244 --> 00:50:48,236
I can't swim.
708
00:50:51,683 --> 00:50:53,231
I'll start with the good story about her.
709
00:50:53,251 --> 00:50:55,914
You've never done that
before. You must be mellowing.
710
00:50:55,987 --> 00:50:59,480
Doris, do you mind? No, I don't mind.
711
00:50:59,558 --> 00:51:01,550
We went to London,
712
00:51:01,626 --> 00:51:03,959
and as we were checking into the hotel,
713
00:51:04,029 --> 00:51:06,931
there was a man in a formal
coat and striped pants...
714
00:51:06,998 --> 00:51:10,662
standing at the front
entrance of the hotel.
715
00:51:10,736 --> 00:51:14,195
Helen handed him her suitcase
and breezed into the lobby.
716
00:51:14,272 --> 00:51:16,580
The man followed her
in and politely explained
717
00:51:16,604 --> 00:51:18,733
that not only didn't he work at the hotel,
718
00:51:18,810 --> 00:51:22,611
but that he was the Danish ambassador.
719
00:51:22,681 --> 00:51:25,674
And without batting an eye, Helen said,
720
00:51:25,751 --> 00:51:31,122
"Well, that's marvelous! You can tell us
the good places to eat in Copenhagen."
721
00:51:31,189 --> 00:51:33,181
And he did!
722
00:51:34,626 --> 00:51:37,391
The point is, it doesn't
bother her at all...
723
00:51:37,462 --> 00:51:41,024
if she makes a total ass of herself.
724
00:51:41,099 --> 00:51:43,659
I really admire that.
725
00:51:46,838 --> 00:51:50,434
And what is it that you don't admire?
726
00:51:50,509 --> 00:51:53,638
It's that damn sense of humor of hers.
727
00:51:53,712 --> 00:51:57,376
Good. These are always
the stories I like best.
728
00:52:01,753 --> 00:52:04,120
We'd been to a party,
729
00:52:04,189 --> 00:52:07,159
and we'd had a few drinks.
730
00:52:07,225 --> 00:52:11,219
So we went to bed and
we started making love,
731
00:52:11,296 --> 00:52:14,061
and nothing happened.
732
00:52:14,132 --> 00:52:16,692
I mean, for me.
733
00:52:16,768 --> 00:52:18,703
I mean, I couldn't...
734
00:52:18,770 --> 00:52:21,535
Well, you get the picture.
Yeah. It was no big deal.
735
00:52:21,606 --> 00:52:24,235
I mean, we laughed about it.
736
00:52:24,309 --> 00:52:28,713
Then about a half hour later,
just as I was going to sleep,
737
00:52:28,780 --> 00:52:31,215
Helen turned to me and said, "It's funny.
738
00:52:31,283 --> 00:52:36,278
When I married a C.P.A., I always thought
it would be his eyes that would go first."
739
00:52:47,432 --> 00:52:51,597
Well... she was just trying
to make you feel better.
740
00:52:51,670 --> 00:52:54,663
Well, it didn't. Some things aren't funny.
741
00:52:57,809 --> 00:53:01,644
What I'm trying to say is the thing
that bugs me the most about Helen...
742
00:53:01,713 --> 00:53:03,875
is that she broke my pecker.
743
00:53:09,688 --> 00:53:12,624
- You're impotent.
- Slightly.
744
00:53:13,859 --> 00:53:15,851
That's five people who know.
745
00:53:15,927 --> 00:53:20,058
You, me, Helen and her
mother. Who's the fifth?
746
00:53:20,131 --> 00:53:25,399
Chet Huntley. I'm sure her mother has
given him the bulletin for the 6:00 news.
747
00:53:25,470 --> 00:53:28,736
Honey, when did this happen? Happen?
748
00:53:28,807 --> 00:53:32,266
Doris, we're not talking
about a throughway accident.
749
00:53:32,344 --> 00:53:34,931
You don't wake up one
morning and say, "Shoot,
750
00:53:34,955 --> 00:53:37,339
the family jewels have gone on the blink."
751
00:53:38,750 --> 00:53:41,117
It's a gradual thing.
752
00:53:41,186 --> 00:53:44,020
And how's Helen reacting to it?
753
00:53:44,089 --> 00:53:46,081
We haven't discussed it much.
754
00:53:46,157 --> 00:53:50,288
I got the impression she regards it
as a lapse in one's social responsibility.
755
00:53:50,362 --> 00:53:54,561
Rather like letting your partner down
in tennis by not holding your serve.
756
00:53:56,268 --> 00:53:58,931
I'll be all right.
757
00:53:59,004 --> 00:54:02,964
The patient's not dead, just resting.
758
00:54:03,041 --> 00:54:06,705
Doris, that statement hardly
calls for congratulations.
759
00:54:06,778 --> 00:54:09,270
No, I need help getting up.
760
00:54:26,197 --> 00:54:29,497
Is there anything I can say that
would make you feel any better?
761
00:54:29,568 --> 00:54:32,902
You can say anything you want
except, "It's all in your head."
762
00:54:32,971 --> 00:54:36,669
I'm no doctor, but I have
a great sense of direction.
763
00:54:38,276 --> 00:54:40,245
What shall we talk about?
764
00:54:40,312 --> 00:54:42,747
Anything but sex.
765
00:54:42,814 --> 00:54:45,113
How do you feel being pregnant?
766
00:54:45,183 --> 00:54:47,846
Oh, catatonic,
767
00:54:47,919 --> 00:54:50,252
incredulous,
768
00:54:50,322 --> 00:54:52,951
angry,
769
00:54:53,024 --> 00:54:56,256
pragmatic and...
770
00:54:56,328 --> 00:54:58,422
finally maternal.
771
00:54:58,496 --> 00:55:01,489
Pretty much in that order.
Your vocabulary is improving.
772
00:55:01,566 --> 00:55:03,501
Oh, you don't know.
773
00:55:03,568 --> 00:55:06,060
You happen to be speaking
to a high school graduate.
774
00:55:06,137 --> 00:55:08,106
No kidding. How come?
775
00:55:08,173 --> 00:55:12,304
I was confined to my bed for the
first three months of my pregnancy,
776
00:55:12,377 --> 00:55:15,609
so it shouldn't be a total loss, I
took a correspondence course.
777
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:18,013
You're really something, you know that?
778
00:55:18,083 --> 00:55:22,214
- There's kind of an - ironic twist to all this.
- What?
779
00:55:22,287 --> 00:55:26,224
I didn't graduate from high school
the first time because I got pregnant.
780
00:55:26,291 --> 00:55:30,661
Now I did graduate from high
school because I got pregnant.
781
00:55:30,729 --> 00:55:34,825
I don't know. That kind of
appeals to my sense of order.
782
00:55:34,899 --> 00:55:36,993
Harry still selling real estate?
783
00:55:37,068 --> 00:55:39,162
No. Insurance.
784
00:55:39,237 --> 00:55:41,138
He likes it, though.
785
00:55:41,206 --> 00:55:45,200
Gives him a chance to look
up all his old army buddies.
786
00:55:46,611 --> 00:55:49,103
Are you comfortable in that position?
787
00:55:49,180 --> 00:55:52,514
When you're in my condition,
you're not comfortable in any position.
788
00:55:52,584 --> 00:55:54,712
Come on. Sit over here.
789
00:56:05,997 --> 00:56:08,262
Oh, that's good.
790
00:56:09,668 --> 00:56:11,728
Now, tell me, how are the kids?
791
00:56:11,803 --> 00:56:15,365
They're fine. Michael just got
a job with the Associated Press.
792
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:18,103
Really? Oh, that's
terrific! Isn't that great?
793
00:56:18,176 --> 00:56:21,169
Gee, I feel so proud of him.
794
00:56:31,122 --> 00:56:33,956
What?
795
00:56:34,025 --> 00:56:37,359
George, why are you
looking at me like that?
796
00:56:39,197 --> 00:56:41,689
No reason.
797
00:56:41,766 --> 00:56:44,292
I ju... It's too... I was won... uh...
798
00:56:44,369 --> 00:56:47,032
Fir-First I was try...
Nothing! Forget it. It's all right.
799
00:56:47,105 --> 00:56:50,872
Just, uh, tell me the... tell
me the other story about Harry.
800
00:56:50,942 --> 00:56:53,810
You know.
801
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:59,176
George, what is it? You're still doing it.
802
00:56:59,250 --> 00:57:01,776
It's obscene! What is?
803
00:57:01,853 --> 00:57:06,587
When I touched you just
now, I started to get excited.
804
00:57:06,658 --> 00:57:09,594
What kind of a pervert am I?
805
00:57:09,661 --> 00:57:14,429
Staring at a 200-pound pregnant
woman, and I'm getting hot.
806
00:57:14,499 --> 00:57:17,128
Well, I'll tell you something.
807
00:57:17,202 --> 00:57:21,537
That is about the nicest thing
anybody's said to me in months.
808
00:57:21,606 --> 00:57:24,542
It's not funny, Doris.
809
00:57:24,609 --> 00:57:27,169
I really got to ya, huh, fella?
810
00:57:29,881 --> 00:57:32,874
Uh, would you excuse me?
811
00:57:34,953 --> 00:57:38,253
♪♪
812
00:57:54,506 --> 00:57:58,375
That's incredible! Are you
as good as I think you are?
813
00:57:58,443 --> 00:58:00,412
How good do you think I am? Sensational.
814
00:58:00,478 --> 00:58:02,743
I'm not as good as you think I am.
815
00:58:02,814 --> 00:58:06,751
But that piano's been sitting here for
10 years, and you've hardly touched it.
816
00:58:06,818 --> 00:58:10,016
Why tonight? It beats a cold shower.
817
00:58:10,088 --> 00:58:13,388
You mean, you play to
relieve sexual tension?
818
00:58:13,458 --> 00:58:16,223
You don't even get this
good without a lot of practice.
819
00:58:18,530 --> 00:58:21,728
You're gonna be exhausted. That's the idea.
820
00:58:26,404 --> 00:58:28,839
I've got a better idea. Come on.
821
00:58:28,907 --> 00:58:32,969
Doris... Come on. It's
all right. It'll be okay.
822
00:58:33,044 --> 00:58:35,172
But... But you can't...
823
00:58:35,446 --> 00:58:38,883
Well, I know that. Well, then how...
824
00:58:38,950 --> 00:58:43,285
Well, we can work something out, can't we?
825
00:58:46,224 --> 00:58:48,318
Oh. What... What is it?
826
00:58:48,393 --> 00:58:52,057
Aah! For God's sake, what is it?
827
00:58:52,130 --> 00:58:56,568
Doris, what the hell is the matter?
828
00:58:56,634 --> 00:59:00,765
If memory serves me
correctly, I just had a labor pain.
829
00:59:00,839 --> 00:59:04,674
You can't have. It must be
indigestion. No. There's a difference.
830
00:59:04,742 --> 00:59:07,940
Indigestion doesn't make your eyes bug out.
831
00:59:09,681 --> 00:59:12,310
You can't be in labor.
When... When's the baby due?
832
00:59:12,383 --> 00:59:15,444
Not for another month, but...
833
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:19,423
Oh! Oh, my God! What have I done?
834
00:59:19,490 --> 00:59:22,858
What have you done? I brought
this on with my selfishness.
835
00:59:22,927 --> 00:59:25,897
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
You had nothing to do with it.
836
00:59:25,964 --> 00:59:29,765
Doris, don't treat me like a child.
Will you stop getting excited?
837
00:59:29,834 --> 00:59:33,601
Excited? I thought I had
problems with my sex life before.
838
00:59:33,671 --> 00:59:38,200
Can you imagine what this is
gonna do to it? Just... Will you just...
839
00:59:38,276 --> 00:59:40,905
Ohh. Oh, I think I'd better lie down.
840
00:59:40,979 --> 00:59:44,313
What kind of a man am I? What kind
of a man would do a thing like this?
841
00:59:44,382 --> 00:59:47,113
May I say something? Doris, I
appreciate what you're trying to do,
842
00:59:47,185 --> 00:59:49,313
but nothing you can say
would make me feel any better.
843
00:59:49,387 --> 00:59:53,825
I'm not trying to make you feel
any better. I'm gonna have a baby.
844
00:59:53,892 --> 00:59:58,057
I know that. No. I mean now.
845
00:59:58,129 --> 01:00:01,759
I have a history of short labor.
846
01:00:01,833 --> 01:00:04,098
Oh, no! No, no, no!
847
01:00:04,168 --> 01:00:07,696
No, no, no, no! Oh, no! No!
848
01:00:15,213 --> 01:00:18,240
How do you feel?
849
01:00:20,818 --> 01:00:23,549
Like I'm gonna have a baby.
850
01:00:23,755 --> 01:00:27,631
Maybe it's a false alarm.
It's a false alarm. That's all.
851
01:00:27,655 --> 01:00:28,250
No. No.
852
01:00:28,326 --> 01:00:32,093
No. Now, just get a hold of yourself,
honey, and get on the phone...
853
01:00:32,163 --> 01:00:35,930
and find out where the nearest hospital is.
854
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:39,198
Hospital? You wanna go to a hospital?
855
01:00:40,838 --> 01:00:44,673
George, like it or not,
856
01:00:44,742 --> 01:00:48,577
I am going to have a baby!
857
01:00:48,646 --> 01:00:52,447
But we're not married.
That's going to look odd.
858
01:00:54,452 --> 01:00:58,446
Will you get on the phone, please,
859
01:00:58,523 --> 01:01:02,619
and find out where the hospital is!
860
01:01:05,797 --> 01:01:08,665
- Well, where are you going?
- To the bathroom!
861
01:01:08,733 --> 01:01:10,759
Why?
862
01:01:11,803 --> 01:01:14,773
It's hard to explain.
863
01:01:14,839 --> 01:01:18,298
Hello. Mr. Chalmers, this is George.
864
01:01:18,376 --> 01:01:21,403
Uh, where's the nearest hospital?
865
01:01:21,479 --> 01:01:26,782
Uh, well, it's... it's my wife.
Something unexpected came up.
866
01:01:26,851 --> 01:01:30,913
She got pregnant, and now
she's gonna have the baby.
867
01:01:30,989 --> 01:01:33,288
That far?
868
01:01:33,358 --> 01:01:36,226
All right. Look. Get him on
the phone right away, will ya?
869
01:01:36,294 --> 01:01:39,287
Doris, are you all right?
870
01:01:39,364 --> 01:01:42,994
Doris? Doris, answer me!
871
01:01:43,067 --> 01:01:47,061
I'm busy! Oh, Jesus!
872
01:01:47,138 --> 01:01:52,042
Hello? Yes, yes! Uh, hello. Uh... hello.
873
01:01:52,110 --> 01:01:57,947
Um, I'm here at the Sea Shadows
Inn just outside of Mendocino.
874
01:01:58,016 --> 01:02:03,853
I was in my room before, and I
heard this groaning from the next room.
875
01:02:03,921 --> 01:02:08,655
And, um, well, I knock on the door,
876
01:02:08,726 --> 01:02:13,664
and I found this lady... who
I've never seen before in my life...
877
01:02:13,731 --> 01:02:16,792
Uh, in labor.
878
01:02:19,804 --> 01:02:22,899
Do you have to know that?
879
01:02:25,276 --> 01:02:29,577
George Peters. So... George Peters. Peters.
880
01:02:31,716 --> 01:02:34,652
I don't know. I didn't time them.
Three or four minutes apart, I guess.
881
01:02:34,719 --> 01:02:36,915
I don't know.
882
01:02:36,988 --> 01:02:39,514
All right. Uh... Uh, hold on.
883
01:02:39,590 --> 01:02:42,389
Doris? Doris, who's your doctor?
884
01:02:42,460 --> 01:02:44,929
Joseph Harrington. Uh, Joseph Harrington.
885
01:02:44,996 --> 01:02:47,295
In Oakland. In, uh... in Oakland.
886
01:02:47,365 --> 01:02:52,633
534-0711. 534-0711.
887
01:02:52,703 --> 01:02:58,233
Um... Yes, uh, I-I have a car.
I'd be glad to take her over there.
888
01:02:58,309 --> 01:03:02,542
Sure. Uh, could you... could
you just answer one question?
889
01:03:02,613 --> 01:03:07,142
Would... Would erotic contact
in the last stages of pregnancy...
890
01:03:07,218 --> 01:03:10,677
bring on premature...
891
01:03:10,755 --> 01:03:14,248
No reason. Just
interested. Just, you know...
892
01:03:14,325 --> 01:03:18,285
Okay. I'll get her right
over there. Okay. Bye.
893
01:03:18,362 --> 01:03:20,898
All right. It's okay.
They're gonna call your
894
01:03:20,922 --> 01:03:23,596
doctor, and he's gonna
meet us at the hospital.
895
01:03:23,668 --> 01:03:28,936
We're not gonna make it to
the hospital. My water just broke.
896
01:03:29,006 --> 01:03:33,706
Oh, my God! We're gonna
have to find a doctor in the area.
897
01:03:33,778 --> 01:03:37,977
Oh, my... Ohh, my God. You look awful!
898
01:03:38,049 --> 01:03:41,486
What if we can't find one?
You're not gonna faint, are you?
899
01:03:41,552 --> 01:03:45,956
Doris, I'm not a cabdriver! I
don't know how to deliver babies!
900
01:03:46,023 --> 01:03:50,927
George, this is no time to start
acting like Butterfly McQueen.
901
01:03:50,995 --> 01:03:53,897
Now, you just get on the
phone and find a doctor.
902
01:04:01,539 --> 01:04:04,031
Ohh.
903
01:04:04,108 --> 01:04:08,637
Hello. Uh, Mr. Chalmers,
where's the nearest doctor?
904
01:04:08,713 --> 01:04:12,206
Well, get... Look. Get him
on the phone for me, will you?
905
01:04:12,283 --> 01:04:14,218
This is an emergency.
906
01:04:14,285 --> 01:04:18,916
It's all right. It's okay. Hold on.
Hold on. It's okay, baby. No! No!
907
01:04:18,990 --> 01:04:20,938
This will teach you to fool around with a
908
01:04:20,962 --> 01:04:23,223
married woman! Shh!
What's the matter with you?
909
01:04:23,294 --> 01:04:26,196
Get that down! Get down!
Get down! Put that down!
910
01:04:26,264 --> 01:04:30,725
Calm down. Relax. Just
keep that down. Hel...
911
01:04:30,801 --> 01:04:33,635
What do you mean, his answering service?
912
01:04:33,704 --> 01:04:37,141
W... No, no. Wait. Wait a
second. You don't understand.
913
01:04:37,208 --> 01:04:41,009
This is an emergency. She's
in the last stages of labor!
914
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:48,519
Well, get in your car and drive
down to the goddamn pier and get him!
915
01:04:48,586 --> 01:04:52,079
Just get him! It's okay. It's all right.
916
01:04:52,156 --> 01:04:54,853
Relax.
917
01:04:54,926 --> 01:04:58,988
He's... The doctor's on his boat,
but he's just down... down the road,
918
01:04:59,063 --> 01:05:03,728
and, uh... and, uh... Chalmers
is gonna drive down there in his...
919
01:05:03,801 --> 01:05:06,134
God... in his car and get him.
920
01:05:06,204 --> 01:05:08,696
He'll be right here.
921
01:05:08,773 --> 01:05:10,833
What?
922
01:05:10,908 --> 01:05:13,673
What? What? What? What?
923
01:05:13,744 --> 01:05:17,442
I feel the baby! No!
924
01:05:20,518 --> 01:05:23,352
George, I'm scared.
925
01:05:24,922 --> 01:05:28,791
Honey, do something.
926
01:05:31,429 --> 01:05:34,331
- I'll be right back.
- George, don't leave me.
927
01:05:34,398 --> 01:05:37,368
- I'm right here, baby. I'm right here.
- George!
928
01:05:37,435 --> 01:05:41,395
What are those for?
We're gonna have a baby.
929
01:05:41,472 --> 01:05:44,271
- "We"?
- Yeah, but I'm gonna need your help.
930
01:05:44,342 --> 01:05:50,009
Give me your hand. Look into my eyes.
931
01:05:50,081 --> 01:05:53,609
You're gonna be fine.
932
01:05:53,684 --> 01:05:58,247
There's nothing to worry
about. We're together. Okay.
933
01:05:58,322 --> 01:06:01,520
You think I play the piano well? Yeah.
934
01:06:01,592 --> 01:06:05,256
Wait till you see the way I deliver babies.
935
01:07:22,707 --> 01:07:25,609
Hey, man. What do ya say?
936
01:07:40,524 --> 01:07:44,291
Mmm. So... wanna fuck?
937
01:07:47,765 --> 01:07:52,726
What? You didn't understand the question?
938
01:07:52,803 --> 01:07:57,605
Of course I did. I just think it's a
damned odd way to start a conversation.
939
01:07:57,675 --> 01:08:01,771
Oh. Gee, I thought it was
a great little icebreaker.
940
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:07,279
Aren't you horny after your long flight?
941
01:08:07,351 --> 01:08:11,015
I didn't fly. I drove. From Connecticut?
942
01:08:11,088 --> 01:08:14,456
No. From Los Angeles. We moved
to Beverly Hills about six months ago.
943
01:08:14,525 --> 01:08:16,926
Ohh. How come?
944
01:08:16,994 --> 01:08:20,260
A number of reasons. I got tired of
standing knee-deep in the snow...
945
01:08:20,331 --> 01:08:25,133
trying to scrape the ice off my
windshield with a credit card.
946
01:08:25,202 --> 01:08:28,695
Besides, there are people here with a lot
of money who don't know what to do with it.
947
01:08:28,773 --> 01:08:32,733
And you tell 'em? I'm what
they call a business manager.
948
01:08:32,810 --> 01:08:37,976
- How's it goin'?
- Can't complain. Why?
949
01:08:38,048 --> 01:08:41,075
You look kind of shitty.
950
01:08:41,152 --> 01:08:45,021
Is everything all right?
951
01:08:45,089 --> 01:08:47,478
When did you start dressing like an Indian?
952
01:08:47,502 --> 01:08:50,084
You look like a refugee
from the Sunset Strip.
953
01:08:50,161 --> 01:08:53,529
Oh, no. I've gone back
to school... Berkeley.
954
01:08:53,597 --> 01:08:56,658
Why? Why?
955
01:08:56,734 --> 01:08:59,465
You mean, what do I
want to be when I grow up?
956
01:08:59,537 --> 01:09:02,530
Well, you have to admit it's a bit
odd becoming a schoolgirl at your age.
957
01:09:02,606 --> 01:09:07,510
Hey, listen. You think it's easy being
the only one in your class with clear skin?
958
01:09:07,578 --> 01:09:12,482
What made you do it? Actually, it
was a dinner party that made me decide.
959
01:09:12,550 --> 01:09:16,783
Harry's boss invited us over for
dinner, and I just freaked. Why?
960
01:09:16,854 --> 01:09:21,087
Well, I'd spent so much time at home
with the kids that I really wasn't sure...
961
01:09:21,158 --> 01:09:23,339
I was capable of carrying on an intelligent
962
01:09:23,363 --> 01:09:25,721
conversation with
anyone over the age of five.
963
01:09:25,796 --> 01:09:30,393
So, anyway, we went, and I
got seated right next to the boss.
964
01:09:30,468 --> 01:09:33,961
But, you know, I surprised myself.
I mean, he talked and I talked.
965
01:09:34,038 --> 01:09:36,530
It was just like a regular conversation.
966
01:09:36,607 --> 01:09:38,599
I thought everything was cool,
967
01:09:38,676 --> 01:09:41,908
till I noticed that he was looking
at me in kind of a weird way.
968
01:09:41,979 --> 01:09:45,882
I looked down at his plate and discovered
that all the time we had been talking,
969
01:09:45,950 --> 01:09:49,910
I'd been cutting up his meat for him.
970
01:09:53,424 --> 01:09:56,622
That's when I decided that
I'd better get out of the house.
971
01:09:56,694 --> 01:09:58,925
Yeah, but why school? Oh, I don't know.
972
01:09:58,996 --> 01:10:04,367
I felt restless and undirected, and I
thought school would give me some answers.
973
01:10:04,435 --> 01:10:09,464
What sort of answers? You
know, like where it's really at.
974
01:10:09,540 --> 01:10:13,102
Jesus. What?
975
01:10:13,177 --> 01:10:15,408
That expression.
976
01:10:15,479 --> 01:10:18,449
Okay. I wanted to find
out who the hell I am.
977
01:10:18,516 --> 01:10:21,315
You don't get answers
like that from the classroom.
978
01:10:21,385 --> 01:10:23,854
Well, I'm not in a classroom all the time.
979
01:10:23,921 --> 01:10:26,447
I'll tell ya, the protests
and demonstrations...
980
01:10:26,524 --> 01:10:30,484
are a learning experience in themselves.
981
01:10:30,561 --> 01:10:34,498
Protests against what?
982
01:10:34,565 --> 01:10:38,832
The war. Didn't you hear
about it? It was in all the papers.
983
01:10:38,903 --> 01:10:43,068
Demonstrations aren't gonna stop the war.
984
01:10:43,140 --> 01:10:47,840
Oh, really? Have you got a better idea?
985
01:10:51,115 --> 01:10:54,950
Look, I didn't drive all the
way up here to discuss politics.
986
01:10:58,222 --> 01:11:03,058
Well, so far you've turned
down sex and politics.
987
01:11:03,127 --> 01:11:06,655
Would you like to try religion?
988
01:11:06,730 --> 01:11:10,064
I think I'll try a Librium.
989
01:11:32,022 --> 01:11:34,582
Jesus.
990
01:11:34,658 --> 01:11:40,097
Ohh. Honey, why are you so uptight?
991
01:11:40,164 --> 01:11:43,225
That's another expression
I hate. "Uptight"?
992
01:11:43,300 --> 01:11:48,238
There's no such word. You
remind me of my mother.
993
01:11:48,305 --> 01:11:51,002
When I was nine, I asked
her what "fuck" meant.
994
01:11:51,075 --> 01:11:55,012
You know what she said?
"There's no such word."
995
01:11:55,079 --> 01:11:56,754
And now you know there is, you feel
996
01:11:56,778 --> 01:11:58,914
compelled to use it in
every other sentence?
997
01:12:00,551 --> 01:12:04,647
What is bugging you? "Bugging"
me? I'll tell you what's bugging me.
998
01:12:04,722 --> 01:12:07,590
The blacks are burning down the cities.
999
01:12:07,658 --> 01:12:10,474
There's a Harvard professor telling
my kids the only way to happiness...
1000
01:12:10,494 --> 01:12:13,328
is to become doped-up zombies.
1001
01:12:13,397 --> 01:12:16,265
And I have a teenage son with
hair so long that from the back,
1002
01:12:16,333 --> 01:12:20,998
he looks exactly like Yvonne De Carlo.
1003
01:12:21,071 --> 01:12:25,668
You know that's a sign of
age, don't you? What is?
1004
01:12:25,743 --> 01:12:29,874
When you start worrying about
the declining morality of the young.
1005
01:12:29,947 --> 01:12:33,042
Besides, there is nothing
you can do about it.
1006
01:12:33,117 --> 01:12:35,985
We can start setting some examples.
1007
01:12:36,053 --> 01:12:40,115
As I recall, when you
were a little younger,
1008
01:12:40,190 --> 01:12:42,921
you were not exactly a
monk about that sort of thing.
1009
01:12:42,993 --> 01:12:45,724
That was different.
1010
01:12:45,796 --> 01:12:49,460
Our relationship is not based
on a casual one-night stand.
1011
01:12:49,533 --> 01:12:52,196
No. It's been 15 one-night stands.
1012
01:12:54,171 --> 01:12:58,108
It's not the same. We shared things.
1013
01:12:58,175 --> 01:13:01,077
My God. I helped deliver
your child. Remember?
1014
01:13:01,145 --> 01:13:04,274
Remember?
1015
01:13:04,348 --> 01:13:08,342
I consider that our finest hour.
1016
01:13:14,058 --> 01:13:17,517
- How is she?
- Georgette?
1017
01:13:17,594 --> 01:13:21,998
Ooh, she's very healthy,
very noisy and very spoiled.
1018
01:13:22,066 --> 01:13:24,865
Don't you feel guilty leaving
her alone when you go to school?
1019
01:13:24,935 --> 01:13:26,927
No. Harry's home a lot.
1020
01:13:27,004 --> 01:13:29,701
How does Harry feel about all this? Oh.
1021
01:13:29,773 --> 01:13:32,868
When I told him I wanted to go
back to school to get some identity,
1022
01:13:32,943 --> 01:13:37,244
he said to me, "You want identity,
go build a bridge, invent penicillin.
1023
01:13:37,314 --> 01:13:39,749
Just get off my back."
1024
01:13:39,817 --> 01:13:43,652
I always said Harry had a
good head on his shoulders.
1025
01:13:43,721 --> 01:13:47,817
That was supposed to
be the bad story about him.
1026
01:13:48,992 --> 01:13:51,518
How's Helen?
1027
01:13:51,595 --> 01:13:54,463
Helen's fine, just fine.
1028
01:13:54,531 --> 01:13:59,970
Hmm. Why don't you tell me a story
that shows how really rotten she can be?
1029
01:14:01,271 --> 01:14:03,331
That's not like you.
1030
01:14:03,407 --> 01:14:06,502
I know, but it seems like we need
something to bring us together.
1031
01:14:06,577 --> 01:14:11,709
I thought a really lousy story about
Helen would make you appreciate me more.
1032
01:14:13,851 --> 01:14:18,619
Okay. As you know, she
has this funny sense of humor.
1033
01:14:18,689 --> 01:14:21,249
By funny, I take it you
mean peculiar. Right.
1034
01:14:21,325 --> 01:14:24,762
And it comes out at the
most inappropriate times.
1035
01:14:24,828 --> 01:14:29,823
I had just signed this client...
very proper, very old money.
1036
01:14:29,900 --> 01:14:34,065
Helen and I were invited to his house
for cocktails with him and his wife.
1037
01:14:34,138 --> 01:14:36,733
Well, it was all pretty awkward,
1038
01:14:36,807 --> 01:14:40,209
but we managed to get
through the drinks all right.
1039
01:14:40,277 --> 01:14:44,305
Then, as we were leaving,
instead of walking out the front door,
1040
01:14:44,381 --> 01:14:47,715
I walked into the hall closet.
1041
01:14:47,785 --> 01:14:51,984
Well, that wasn't so bad.
Anybody could've done that.
1042
01:14:52,055 --> 01:14:55,651
My mistake was I stayed in there.
1043
01:14:56,660 --> 01:15:00,461
You stayed in the closet?
1044
01:15:00,531 --> 01:15:03,524
I wasn't sure anybody
had seen me go in. Aha.
1045
01:15:03,600 --> 01:15:07,162
I guess I figured I'd stay in
there until they'd all gone away.
1046
01:15:07,237 --> 01:15:11,038
All right. Maybe I didn't
think things through.
1047
01:15:11,108 --> 01:15:15,739
I was there a minute before I realized
I had probably misjudged the situation.
1048
01:15:15,813 --> 01:15:19,773
And then when I came out, the
three of them were just staring at me.
1049
01:15:19,850 --> 01:15:25,016
Well, it was pretty awkward, but I probably
could've carried it off except for Helen.
1050
01:15:25,088 --> 01:15:28,923
- You know what she did?
- What?
1051
01:15:30,127 --> 01:15:33,894
She peed on the carpet.
1052
01:15:36,633 --> 01:15:40,536
She did what? Well, not right away.
1053
01:15:40,604 --> 01:15:43,403
First, she started to laugh.
1054
01:15:43,473 --> 01:15:46,932
Her face was all screwed
up. She was holding her sides.
1055
01:15:47,010 --> 01:15:51,971
Tears were streaming down her cheeks.
And then she peed all over the carpet.
1056
01:15:53,283 --> 01:15:56,117
What did you say?
1057
01:15:56,186 --> 01:15:58,178
I said, "You'll have to excuse my wife.
1058
01:15:58,255 --> 01:16:01,054
Ever since her last pregnancy,
she's had a problem."
1059
01:16:01,124 --> 01:16:03,821
Then I offered to have the rug cleaned.
1060
01:16:03,894 --> 01:16:09,231
- Did that help?
- No. They said they had a maid, and it wouldn't be necessary.
1061
01:16:17,507 --> 01:16:20,671
You think this is funny? Listen.
1062
01:16:20,744 --> 01:16:25,409
I've been meaning to tell
you this for a long time.
1063
01:16:25,482 --> 01:16:29,078
I just love Helen.
1064
01:16:31,989 --> 01:16:35,448
Would she come off any worse
if I told you I lost the account?
1065
01:16:35,525 --> 01:16:39,462
Oh, George, when did you get so stuffy?
1066
01:16:39,529 --> 01:16:43,489
Stuffy? Yeah.
1067
01:16:43,567 --> 01:16:47,937
Am I stuffy because I don't like my
wife to urinate on my client's carpet?
1068
01:16:49,473 --> 01:16:52,568
Well, I didn't mean
just that, honey, but...
1069
01:16:52,643 --> 01:16:57,047
Well, look at you. You
just scream establishment.
1070
01:16:57,114 --> 01:17:00,642
I am not a faddist.
1071
01:17:00,717 --> 01:17:04,950
- What do you mean?
- I mean I have no desire to - be those middle-aged idiots...
1072
01:17:05,022 --> 01:17:07,862
who walk around in bell-bottomed
trousers and Prince Valiant haircuts...
1073
01:17:07,925 --> 01:17:10,326
saying "ciao."
1074
01:17:10,394 --> 01:17:15,526
Well, I wasn't just talking about fashion.
I was talking about your attitudes.
1075
01:17:15,599 --> 01:17:18,831
My attitudes are the same as they
always were. I haven't changed at all.
1076
01:17:18,902 --> 01:17:23,340
Oh, yes, you have. You used to
be kind of, well, crazy and insecure...
1077
01:17:23,407 --> 01:17:27,640
and a terrible liar, but awfully human.
1078
01:17:27,711 --> 01:17:31,546
Now you... I don't know. You
just seem so sure of yourself.
1079
01:17:36,086 --> 01:17:40,251
- That's the last thing I am.
- Oh, yeah?
1080
01:17:40,324 --> 01:17:43,440
I picked up one of Helen's magazines the
other day, and there was this article...
1081
01:17:43,460 --> 01:17:47,761
telling women what sort of
orgasms they should have.
1082
01:17:47,831 --> 01:17:51,268
It was called "The Big 'O.'"
1083
01:17:51,335 --> 01:17:54,100
You know what really got me about that?
1084
01:17:54,171 --> 01:17:58,040
This was a magazine my mother
used to buy for its fruitcake recipes.
1085
01:17:58,108 --> 01:18:01,840
Well, the times, in fact,
are a-changing, darling.
1086
01:18:01,912 --> 01:18:04,677
Too fast.
1087
01:18:06,750 --> 01:18:11,188
I don't know. Twenty, thirty
years ago, we had standards.
1088
01:18:11,254 --> 01:18:14,622
Maybe they were black and white,
but at least they were standards.
1089
01:18:14,691 --> 01:18:16,922
Now...
1090
01:18:18,962 --> 01:18:21,864
It's so confusing.
1091
01:18:25,369 --> 01:18:27,361
Well...
1092
01:18:27,437 --> 01:18:31,568
That's at least a step
in the right direction.
1093
01:18:33,243 --> 01:18:36,179
When did I suddenly become so appealing?
1094
01:18:36,246 --> 01:18:40,308
When you went from pompous to confused.
1095
01:18:44,888 --> 01:18:48,689
All right. Now, tell me, sir.
1096
01:18:48,759 --> 01:18:51,058
What's your pleasure?
1097
01:18:51,128 --> 01:18:54,656
A walk by the ocean...
1098
01:18:54,731 --> 01:18:58,327
or a good book...
1099
01:18:58,402 --> 01:19:00,394
or...
1100
01:19:02,005 --> 01:19:04,099
me?
1101
01:19:05,342 --> 01:19:10,076
You. Oh, I thought you'd never ask.
1102
01:19:16,119 --> 01:19:18,384
What?
1103
01:19:18,455 --> 01:19:22,756
Doris, you're not wearing a bra.
1104
01:19:22,826 --> 01:19:27,355
George, you're so 40s.
1105
01:19:27,431 --> 01:19:29,832
I'm a very old-fashioned man.
1106
01:19:29,900 --> 01:19:34,065
Next, you'll be telling me
you voted for Goldwater.
1107
01:19:34,137 --> 01:19:36,197
I did.
1108
01:19:37,307 --> 01:19:39,833
You're putting me on.
1109
01:19:39,910 --> 01:19:43,312
No. Of course not.
1110
01:19:43,380 --> 01:19:45,315
What are you doing?
1111
01:19:45,382 --> 01:19:49,547
If you think I'm going to bed with any
son of a bitch who voted for Goldwater,
1112
01:19:49,619 --> 01:19:51,645
you're crazy.
1113
01:19:51,721 --> 01:19:54,748
Doris, don't do this to me. Not now.
1114
01:19:54,825 --> 01:19:59,024
How could you vote for
a man like that? Yuck!
1115
01:19:59,096 --> 01:20:02,863
Can we discuss this later?
No. We'll discuss it right now.
1116
01:20:02,933 --> 01:20:07,769
- Why did you vote for him?
- Because I have a son who wants to be a rock musician.
1117
01:20:07,838 --> 01:20:11,866
What kind of reason is that? The best
one I can come up within my condition.
1118
01:20:11,942 --> 01:20:15,003
I'm sorry, George, you're gonna
have to do a whole lot better than that.
1119
01:20:15,078 --> 01:20:19,072
All right. He wanted to end the war,
okay? Sure, by destroying the country.
1120
01:20:19,149 --> 01:20:22,176
He never said that. That's the trouble
with you people. You never listen.
1121
01:20:22,252 --> 01:20:25,279
It's a civil war. We have no
right being there in the first place.
1122
01:20:25,355 --> 01:20:27,915
Oh, I'm so sick of
hearing that liberal crap.
1123
01:20:27,991 --> 01:20:31,359
We have the bomb. Why don't
we use it? Are you serious?
1124
01:20:31,428 --> 01:20:36,025
You're damned right I am. Wipe the
sons of bitches off the face of the earth.
1125
01:20:36,099 --> 01:20:40,264
Oh, my God! I don't
know anything about you!
1126
01:20:40,337 --> 01:20:44,331
- What kind of man are you?
- Right now, a very frustrated one.
1127
01:20:44,407 --> 01:20:48,708
All this time, I thought I was
going to bed with a liberal Democrat.
1128
01:20:48,778 --> 01:20:51,577
Wait a minute. You told me
you worked for Stevenson.
1129
01:20:51,648 --> 01:20:54,812
That was years ago. So what
happened? What changed you?
1130
01:20:54,885 --> 01:20:57,855
I grew up. Oh, yeah? Well,
as far as I'm concerned,
1131
01:20:57,921 --> 01:21:01,119
you didn't turn out too hot.
1132
01:21:06,897 --> 01:21:10,299
Let's just forget it, huh?
Oh, I'm not gonna forget it!
1133
01:21:10,367 --> 01:21:14,930
I mean, being stuffy and old-fashioned is
one thing, but being a fascist is another.
1134
01:21:15,005 --> 01:21:18,567
I am not a fascist! Well,
you're advocating mass murder!
1135
01:21:18,642 --> 01:21:22,170
Let's just drop it. No, I'm
not... I'm not going to drop it.
1136
01:21:22,245 --> 01:21:24,237
You stand for everything that I'm against.
1137
01:21:24,314 --> 01:21:28,046
Maybe you're against the wrong
things. But you used to believe as I do.
1138
01:21:28,118 --> 01:21:30,053
Now, what happened? I changed!
1139
01:21:30,120 --> 01:21:34,319
But why? Because Michael was killed!
1140
01:21:41,198 --> 01:21:43,326
How?
1141
01:21:47,604 --> 01:21:52,599
He was helping a wounded man onto a Red
Cross helicopter, and a sniper killed him.
1142
01:21:57,347 --> 01:22:00,613
When?
1143
01:22:05,922 --> 01:22:09,791
We got word during a Fourth of July party.
1144
01:22:13,897 --> 01:22:18,198
Helen went completely to pieces.
1145
01:22:28,144 --> 01:22:33,412
I thought I was in shock and
that I'd feel it later, you know?
1146
01:22:37,654 --> 01:22:40,556
I never did.
1147
01:22:45,662 --> 01:22:49,224
I've never shed a tear.
1148
01:22:52,068 --> 01:22:56,096
All I've ever been able
to feel is blind anger.
1149
01:22:57,774 --> 01:23:02,269
I never shed a tear.
1150
01:23:02,345 --> 01:23:05,315
Isn't that something?
1151
01:23:07,817 --> 01:23:12,881
He was my son. I love him.
1152
01:23:15,025 --> 01:23:19,121
And for the life of me...
1153
01:23:22,599 --> 01:23:25,228
I can't seem to cry for him.
1154
01:23:25,302 --> 01:23:27,237
Oh.
1155
01:23:40,784 --> 01:23:44,221
Doris, I'm sorry. No.
1156
01:23:46,056 --> 01:23:49,288
About... About everything.
1157
01:23:54,064 --> 01:23:58,502
I've been a bit on edge lately.
1158
01:24:00,103 --> 01:24:03,835
Just seems to be one damn...
1159
01:24:31,501 --> 01:24:35,495
♪ Dreams make promises ♪
1160
01:24:35,572 --> 01:24:38,599
♪ They can't keep ♪
1161
01:24:38,675 --> 01:24:41,110
♪ They can swindle you ♪
1162
01:24:41,177 --> 01:24:45,046
♪ While you sleep ♪
1163
01:24:45,115 --> 01:24:49,678
♪ And the morning finds you ♪
1164
01:24:49,753 --> 01:24:54,282
♪ Wondering why ♪
1165
01:24:54,357 --> 01:24:56,952
♪ It seems ♪
1166
01:24:57,026 --> 01:25:02,226
♪ When we're young in dreams we trust ♪
1167
01:25:02,298 --> 01:25:05,063
♪ Maybe growing up is just ♪
1168
01:25:07,937 --> 01:25:11,499
♪ Kissing certain dreams ♪
1169
01:25:11,574 --> 01:25:15,978
♪ Good-bye♪♪
1170
01:25:16,045 --> 01:25:21,848
You know, it's amazing how good
it can be after 21 years, isn't it?
1171
01:25:23,887 --> 01:25:29,485
Well, if you add up all the times
we actually made it together,
1172
01:25:30,560 --> 01:25:33,530
we're still on our honeymoon.
1173
01:25:35,598 --> 01:25:39,797
Did I tell you I'm a grandmother? No.
1174
01:25:39,869 --> 01:25:42,703
But I think you picked a
weird time to announce it.
1175
01:25:46,009 --> 01:25:49,241
Congratulations. Thank you.
1176
01:25:49,312 --> 01:25:51,325
Anyway, you're the youngest-looking
1177
01:25:51,349 --> 01:25:53,909
grandmother I've had
a peak experience with.
1178
01:25:53,983 --> 01:25:57,784
Well, my mother thanks
you. My father thanks you.
1179
01:25:57,854 --> 01:26:02,485
My hairdresser thanks you. And
my plastic surgeon thanks you.
1180
01:26:04,427 --> 01:26:10,367
When Harry says, "You're not the girl I
married," he doesn't know how right he is.
1181
01:26:10,433 --> 01:26:16,373
Didn't Harry like your old nose?
Harry thinks this is my old nose.
1182
01:26:16,439 --> 01:26:19,273
He never noticed? No. Isn't that pathetic?
1183
01:26:19,342 --> 01:26:23,780
I mean, a new dress or something, I
could understand, but a whole nose?
1184
01:26:23,847 --> 01:26:27,113
Well, to be totally honest, I
don't see any difference either.
1185
01:26:27,183 --> 01:26:31,177
Well, I don't care. It's
sure different from my side.
1186
01:26:31,254 --> 01:26:34,816
Makes me feel more attractive.
1187
01:26:34,891 --> 01:26:38,089
Anyway, that's this year's
bad story about Harry.
1188
01:26:38,161 --> 01:26:40,960
Have you got one about Helen?
1189
01:26:41,030 --> 01:26:45,024
Well, there was this loud party next door.
1190
01:26:45,101 --> 01:26:48,128
Helen couldn't sleep.
1191
01:26:48,204 --> 01:26:52,039
And, uh, she didn't
wanna take a sleeping pill...
1192
01:26:52,108 --> 01:26:57,274
because she had to get
up at 6:00 in the morning.
1193
01:26:57,347 --> 01:27:01,409
So she took a couple of pills
and stuffed them in her ears.
1194
01:27:01,484 --> 01:27:04,079
What?
1195
01:27:04,153 --> 01:27:07,214
During the night, the pills melted.
1196
01:27:07,290 --> 01:27:10,624
Then the next day, while the doctor
was digging the stuff out of her ears,
1197
01:27:10,693 --> 01:27:14,892
he said, "You know,
these can be taken orally."
1198
01:27:16,799 --> 01:27:20,497
Helen just laughed. She didn't care.
1199
01:27:20,570 --> 01:27:24,200
I'll tell you something. If that's the
worst story you can tell about your wife,
1200
01:27:24,274 --> 01:27:26,505
you must be a very happy man.
1201
01:27:26,576 --> 01:27:29,637
Well, let's just say I've discovered
the potential for happiness.
1202
01:27:38,555 --> 01:27:41,389
Yes, Liz?
1203
01:27:43,726 --> 01:27:47,720
No, honey. It's 60 guests, not 16.
1204
01:27:49,899 --> 01:27:54,496
There's no problem. We've catered
parties for her lots of times. It...
1205
01:27:54,571 --> 01:27:57,336
I know, but she puts little
tables around her swimming pool,
1206
01:27:57,407 --> 01:28:00,639
and then there's room
on the patio for the buffet.
1207
01:28:00,710 --> 01:28:03,874
Right. It's a brunch.
1208
01:28:03,947 --> 01:28:07,975
Right. That's okay. Sure.
1209
01:28:08,051 --> 01:28:10,850
Uh, Liz, did Harry call?
1210
01:28:15,658 --> 01:28:19,060
Okay. You know where to reach me, huh?
1211
01:28:22,865 --> 01:28:26,734
I'm sorry. It was a busy weekend,
and I had to leave a number.
1212
01:28:26,803 --> 01:28:31,639
Does Harry know you're here?
No. Harry still thinks I go on retreat.
1213
01:28:31,708 --> 01:28:33,643
Don't worry.
1214
01:28:33,710 --> 01:28:37,272
I'm not worried. Yeah?
Then why are you frowning?
1215
01:28:37,347 --> 01:28:40,875
I'm getting bad vibes again. Again?
1216
01:28:40,950 --> 01:28:46,218
Yeah. When you first walked in, I
picked up on your high tension level.
1217
01:28:46,289 --> 01:28:49,350
Then after we made love, I
sensed a certain anxiety reduction,
1218
01:28:49,425 --> 01:28:54,830
but, uh, now I'm getting
definite negative feedback.
1219
01:28:54,897 --> 01:28:56,889
When did you go into analysis?
1220
01:28:56,966 --> 01:29:01,233
- How did you know I was in analysis?
- Just a wild guess.
1221
01:29:01,304 --> 01:29:04,468
What made you start?
1222
01:29:04,540 --> 01:29:09,001
My value system changed. One day,
I took a look at my $150,000 house...
1223
01:29:09,078 --> 01:29:14,517
and the three cars in the garage and
the swimming pool and the gardeners,
1224
01:29:14,584 --> 01:29:17,986
and I asked myself, "Why?"
1225
01:29:18,054 --> 01:29:21,752
I mean, did I really want
the whole status trip?
1226
01:29:21,824 --> 01:29:26,421
So I decided to try to find out
what I did want and who I was.
1227
01:29:26,496 --> 01:29:29,989
So you went from analysis
to Esalen to Gestalt...
1228
01:29:30,066 --> 01:29:34,504
to encounter groups to
transactional to nirvana, huh?
1229
01:29:34,570 --> 01:29:37,836
Just because some people are trying
to widen their emotional horizons...
1230
01:29:37,907 --> 01:29:40,433
doesn't make the experience any less valid.
1231
01:29:40,510 --> 01:29:43,537
I've learned a lot. So I've noticed.
1232
01:29:43,613 --> 01:29:46,663
For one thing, you've learned to talk as
though you're reasoning with somebody...
1233
01:29:46,683 --> 01:29:49,847
about to jump from a high ledge.
1234
01:29:49,919 --> 01:29:54,880
Okay, okay. I know sometimes I tend
to overcompensate for my emotionalism.
1235
01:29:56,793 --> 01:30:00,491
Occasionally, there's a loss of
spontaneity. I'm working on that.
1236
01:30:00,563 --> 01:30:04,796
Well, I'm glad to hear it.
What else have you learned?
1237
01:30:07,036 --> 01:30:10,336
That behind the walls
I've built around myself,
1238
01:30:10,406 --> 01:30:14,104
I'm a warm, caring, loving human being.
1239
01:30:14,177 --> 01:30:17,739
Well, I could've told
you that 20 years ago.
1240
01:30:19,749 --> 01:30:23,982
Tell me. How's Helen reacting
to your voyage of self-discovery?
1241
01:30:24,053 --> 01:30:27,421
Well, at first, she tended to
overreact. Oh, yeah? In what way?
1242
01:30:27,490 --> 01:30:30,892
She threw a grapefruit
at me in the supermarket.
1243
01:30:30,960 --> 01:30:33,513
Listen. It's only natural that there'd be
1244
01:30:33,537 --> 01:30:36,365
some interpersonal
conflicts to work through,
1245
01:30:36,432 --> 01:30:39,527
but now it's cool.
1246
01:30:39,602 --> 01:30:43,664
- Helen's into pottery.
- Oh. And what are you doing for a living?
1247
01:30:43,740 --> 01:30:46,801
♪♪ We live very simply, Doris.
1248
01:30:46,876 --> 01:30:52,645
We don't need much. What bread we do need,
I can provide by simple, honest labor.
1249
01:30:52,715 --> 01:30:56,152
Like what? I play cocktail piano
in a singles bar in the Valley.
1250
01:31:06,162 --> 01:31:08,791
Yes, Liz?
1251
01:31:12,902 --> 01:31:17,169
No. No. Tell 'em that's our final offer.
1252
01:31:17,240 --> 01:31:19,869
Oh, that's a lot of bull. I know
it's a good piece of property,
1253
01:31:19,942 --> 01:31:23,902
but he needs us more than we need him.
1254
01:31:23,980 --> 01:31:28,475
Well, if he doesn't like it, tell him to
shove it. And don't worry. He won't.
1255
01:31:30,586 --> 01:31:34,216
Okay, hon. Thanks. Anything else?
1256
01:31:34,290 --> 01:31:37,385
All right. Well, I'll be at this number.
1257
01:31:37,460 --> 01:31:39,759
Okay.
1258
01:31:41,097 --> 01:31:44,431
I'm buying another store. Why?
1259
01:31:44,500 --> 01:31:48,665
- Money.
- Is that why you went into business? To make money?
1260
01:31:48,738 --> 01:31:53,733
No. I wanted power too. I take it
you are for women's liberation?
1261
01:31:53,810 --> 01:31:57,770
- Hey, I'm for any kind - of liberation.
- That's a cop-out.
1262
01:31:57,847 --> 01:32:01,545
Women have always been
exploited by men, and you know it.
1263
01:32:01,617 --> 01:32:07,454
Doris, we've all been shafted,
and by the same things.
1264
01:32:07,523 --> 01:32:11,927
Look. Let me lay this on
you. I go to a woman doctor.
1265
01:32:11,994 --> 01:32:15,192
Oh, yeah? First time she
gave me a rectal examination,
1266
01:32:15,264 --> 01:32:19,599
she said, "Am I hurting
you or are you tense?"
1267
01:32:19,669 --> 01:32:24,039
I said, "I'm tense." She said, "Are
you tense because I'm a woman?"
1268
01:32:24,106 --> 01:32:28,305
I said, "No. I get tense when
anybody does that to me."
1269
01:32:28,377 --> 01:32:31,506
See what I mean? Well,
I don't know about that,
1270
01:32:31,581 --> 01:32:34,710
but I do know in this country,
nobody takes a woman seriously...
1271
01:32:34,784 --> 01:32:37,777
until she has enough
money to back up her mouth.
1272
01:32:37,854 --> 01:32:40,824
Hey, I think it's great to have a hobby.
1273
01:32:40,890 --> 01:32:43,826
A hobby?
1274
01:32:43,893 --> 01:32:47,455
We grossed a half million the first year.
1275
01:32:47,530 --> 01:32:52,093
Doris, don't misunderstand me. If that's
what you want, I'm very happy for you.
1276
01:32:53,336 --> 01:32:56,397
I'm just not into the money thing anymore.
1277
01:32:57,740 --> 01:33:01,108
Do you ever get the
feeling we're drifting apart?
1278
01:33:01,177 --> 01:33:04,477
No. In many ways, I've
never felt closer to you.
1279
01:33:04,547 --> 01:33:10,384
I don't know. Somehow it seems
to me our lives are out of sync.
1280
01:33:10,453 --> 01:33:15,084
Look. We all realize our potential
in different ways at different times.
1281
01:33:15,157 --> 01:33:18,150
The important thing is, does what
you do give you a sense of fulfillment?
1282
01:33:18,227 --> 01:33:22,028
Well, I'm working on it. And
you have everything you want?
1283
01:33:22,098 --> 01:33:25,034
With one minor exception.
1284
01:33:25,101 --> 01:33:29,801
Somewhere along the way, I
seem to have lost my husband.
1285
01:33:29,872 --> 01:33:34,333
- Lost him?
- Well, I don't know if I lost him...
1286
01:33:34,410 --> 01:33:36,675
or I simply misplaced him.
1287
01:33:36,746 --> 01:33:41,207
He left home four days ago,
and I haven't heard from him since.
1288
01:33:41,284 --> 01:33:45,585
How do you feel about
that? George, do me a favor.
1289
01:33:45,655 --> 01:33:48,388
Stop talking as though
you're leading a human
1290
01:33:48,412 --> 01:33:50,923
potential group. It really pisses me off.
1291
01:33:50,993 --> 01:33:53,792
That's cool. What's cool?
1292
01:33:53,863 --> 01:33:58,028
For you to transfer your feelings of
hostility and aggression from Harry to me.
1293
01:33:58,100 --> 01:34:01,366
As long as you know that's what
you're doing. You know something?
1294
01:34:01,437 --> 01:34:04,271
You're really beginning
to get on my nerves.
1295
01:34:04,340 --> 01:34:07,504
That's cool too. Jesus.
1296
01:34:07,576 --> 01:34:13,538
I mean it. At least it's honest. Total
honesty is the key to everything.
1297
01:34:13,616 --> 01:34:15,949
Really? Are you being
totally honest with Helen?
1298
01:34:16,018 --> 01:34:20,456
- I'm trying.
- Oh, yeah? Have you told her about us?
1299
01:34:20,523 --> 01:34:23,687
No, but I could. I think today
she's mature enough to handle it.
1300
01:34:23,759 --> 01:34:26,092
George, you're full of shit.
1301
01:34:30,599 --> 01:34:33,763
I can buy that.
1302
01:34:33,836 --> 01:34:37,500
I mean, if you're being totally honest.
1303
01:34:37,573 --> 01:34:41,533
Believe me. I am being totally honest.
1304
01:34:43,813 --> 01:34:46,681
Well, at least it's a start.
1305
01:34:46,749 --> 01:34:49,810
And what about all that other garbage?
1306
01:34:49,885 --> 01:34:53,583
"I don't know if I lost him
or simply misplaced him."
1307
01:34:53,656 --> 01:34:58,720
What kind of crap is that?
All right. You've got a point.
1308
01:34:58,794 --> 01:35:02,561
So how do you feel about
all this? You're doing it again!
1309
01:35:02,631 --> 01:35:06,898
Okay. I think... Don't
tell me how you think.
1310
01:35:06,969 --> 01:35:10,906
Tell me how you feel.
1311
01:35:10,973 --> 01:35:14,137
Like I've been kicked in the stomach.
1312
01:35:14,210 --> 01:35:16,475
What else?
1313
01:35:17,880 --> 01:35:23,751
Angry. Hurt. Betrayed.
1314
01:35:23,819 --> 01:35:27,119
And, okay, a little guilty.
But I'll tell you something.
1315
01:35:27,189 --> 01:35:30,250
I really resent the fact that
he's making me feel guilty.
1316
01:35:30,326 --> 01:35:32,693
Why do you feel resentment?
1317
01:35:32,762 --> 01:35:36,790
Well, look. I didn't marry Harry
because he had a good head for business.
1318
01:35:36,866 --> 01:35:41,167
Okay. So it turns out that I do, or
maybe I was lucky. I don't know.
1319
01:35:41,237 --> 01:35:47,108
The point is, I don't love him any less
just 'cause he's a failure as a provider,
1320
01:35:47,176 --> 01:35:51,705
so why should he love me
less just 'cause I'm a success?
1321
01:35:51,781 --> 01:35:54,842
Have you told him you
still love him? Love him.
1322
01:35:56,485 --> 01:36:00,149
What's he think I've been
hanging around for 27 years for?
1323
01:36:00,222 --> 01:36:03,681
Would it be so hard to let him
know you understand how he feels?
1324
01:36:03,759 --> 01:36:06,786
Right now it would, yes.
1325
01:36:06,862 --> 01:36:09,263
Do you want him back?
1326
01:36:10,766 --> 01:36:14,100
I don't know.
1327
01:36:14,170 --> 01:36:18,369
But ask me again tomorrow, and I'll
probably give you a different answer.
1328
01:36:18,441 --> 01:36:20,376
Why?
1329
01:36:22,678 --> 01:36:25,978
Because tomorrow I won't have you.
1330
01:36:32,321 --> 01:36:37,055
- I'm always with you in spirit.
- Thanks a lot.
1331
01:36:37,126 --> 01:36:41,427
It's kind of difficult to put your
cold feet on somebody's spirit,
1332
01:36:41,497 --> 01:36:44,626
especially when they're 400 miles away.
1333
01:36:49,472 --> 01:36:53,842
Is that a proposal, Doris?
1334
01:36:53,909 --> 01:36:58,472
Are you interested? Are you?
1335
01:37:01,283 --> 01:37:04,253
I've always thought
we'd make a nice couple.
1336
01:37:05,688 --> 01:37:07,919
You didn't answer the question.
1337
01:37:07,990 --> 01:37:11,483
I was the one who proposed.
1338
01:37:14,497 --> 01:37:17,399
Well, don't look so panicky, George.
1339
01:37:17,466 --> 01:37:21,267
I was only three-quarters serious.
1340
01:37:25,641 --> 01:37:29,237
Well, when you're completely
serious, ask me again.
1341
01:37:29,311 --> 01:37:33,373
I bet you say that to all the girls.
1342
01:37:33,449 --> 01:37:35,441
No.
1343
01:37:40,589 --> 01:37:44,390
Thank you. You hungry?
1344
01:37:44,460 --> 01:37:47,692
Yes. Well, you're in luck.
1345
01:37:47,763 --> 01:37:52,394
Because today, your lunch is
being catered by the chicest,
1346
01:37:52,468 --> 01:37:56,269
most expensive French
delicatessen in all of San Francisco.
1347
01:37:56,338 --> 01:38:00,207
How did we swing that?
The owner's got a thing for ya.
1348
01:38:00,276 --> 01:38:03,041
It's out in the trunk
of my car. Can I help?
1349
01:38:03,112 --> 01:38:06,276
Why, you could set the table
and turn on some nice music...
1350
01:38:06,348 --> 01:38:08,340
and when I come back, make me laugh, huh?
1351
01:38:08,417 --> 01:38:11,148
I'll try. Don't worry.
1352
01:38:11,220 --> 01:38:15,157
If you can't make me
laugh, just hold my hand.
1353
01:38:37,079 --> 01:38:39,571
Hello?
1354
01:38:39,648 --> 01:38:43,483
Uh, no, she's not here
right now. Who's this?
1355
01:38:45,988 --> 01:38:48,822
Harry? Um...
1356
01:38:48,891 --> 01:38:53,852
Uh, would you... would you
just hold on for a minute, please?
1357
01:39:07,743 --> 01:39:09,735
Hello?
1358
01:39:11,447 --> 01:39:15,646
Harry, we're two mature adult human
beings, and I've decided to be honest.
1359
01:39:17,753 --> 01:39:21,690
No. Doris is not here right
now, but I'd like to talk to you.
1360
01:39:23,592 --> 01:39:25,606
Because I know that you and Doris are
1361
01:39:25,630 --> 01:39:28,053
having a pretty rough
time right now, and...
1362
01:39:30,332 --> 01:39:33,632
Uh, we're very close friends.
1363
01:39:33,702 --> 01:39:37,969
I've known Doris for 20 years, and
I feel that through her, I know you.
1364
01:39:41,477 --> 01:39:45,141
We've been meeting this
same weekend for 20 years.
1365
01:39:48,951 --> 01:39:52,718
The retreat? Uh, yeah.
1366
01:39:52,788 --> 01:39:56,987
I'll, uh... I'll get to that
in a minute, but, um,
1367
01:39:57,059 --> 01:40:00,188
first I'd like to tell
you something, Harry.
1368
01:40:00,262 --> 01:40:03,061
She loves you.
1369
01:40:03,132 --> 01:40:08,366
Well, I just know. Look. Maybe if I
told you a story she told me this morning,
1370
01:40:08,437 --> 01:40:11,134
maybe it would help you understand.
1371
01:40:11,206 --> 01:40:16,509
Uh, a few months ago, Doris was
supposed to act as den mother...
1372
01:40:16,578 --> 01:40:20,982
for your 10-year-old daughter
and her Indian Guide group.
1373
01:40:21,050 --> 01:40:25,317
And Doris was a little late.
She was hung up at the store,
1374
01:40:25,387 --> 01:40:27,879
and she got home about two hours late.
1375
01:40:27,956 --> 01:40:30,591
When she walked into
the house, she looked in
1376
01:40:30,615 --> 01:40:33,156
the living room, and you know what she saw?
1377
01:40:33,228 --> 01:40:37,393
A rather overweight, balding, middle-aged
man with a feather on his head...
1378
01:40:37,466 --> 01:40:41,562
sitting cross-legged on the
floor, very gravely and gently...
1379
01:40:41,637 --> 01:40:45,301
telling a circle of totally
absorbed girls what it was like...
1380
01:40:45,374 --> 01:40:49,402
to be in a World War II
Japanese prison camp.
1381
01:40:51,347 --> 01:40:55,512
And she turned around and
went outside and got in her car...
1382
01:40:55,584 --> 01:40:59,578
and thanked God for being
married to a man like you.
1383
01:41:04,593 --> 01:41:08,030
Are you still there, Harry?
1384
01:41:09,965 --> 01:41:15,836
Yeah, well, look. Sometimes married
people get into an emotional straitjacket,
1385
01:41:15,904 --> 01:41:20,672
and it's kind of hard for them to express
how they truly feel about each other.
1386
01:41:26,482 --> 01:41:30,715
Total honesty is the key.
1387
01:41:30,786 --> 01:41:33,449
Yes, I've known Doris for 20 years,
1388
01:41:33,522 --> 01:41:36,356
and I'm not ashamed to admit that
it's been one of the most intimate,
1389
01:41:36,425 --> 01:41:40,590
satisfying experiences of my life.
1390
01:41:41,697 --> 01:41:43,859
My name?
1391
01:41:48,103 --> 01:41:52,404
My name is Father Michael O'Herlihy.
1392
01:41:52,474 --> 01:41:56,969
Right. Oh.
1393
01:42:50,699 --> 01:42:53,999
It never changes, does it?
About the only thing that doesn't.
1394
01:42:54,069 --> 01:42:57,506
I find that comforting.
1395
01:42:57,573 --> 01:43:00,338
Even old Chalmers hasn't changed.
1396
01:43:00,409 --> 01:43:03,811
He must be 75 by now.
1397
01:43:03,879 --> 01:43:09,375
You remember when we first met?
Even then, we called him old Chalmers.
1398
01:43:09,451 --> 01:43:12,216
He must've been the same
age then that we are now.
1399
01:43:12,287 --> 01:43:15,951
That I don't find so comforting.
1400
01:43:16,024 --> 01:43:18,789
We were very young. Yeah.
1401
01:43:18,861 --> 01:43:22,923
Have we changed much? Oh, sure we have.
1402
01:43:22,998 --> 01:43:27,299
I grew up with you. Remember
all those dumb lies I used to tell?
1403
01:43:27,369 --> 01:43:31,306
Yeah. How about me? Have I grown up too?
1404
01:43:31,373 --> 01:43:35,538
I had the feeling you were
already grown up when we met.
1405
01:43:39,848 --> 01:43:42,841
Why is it every time I look at you, I
want to put my hands all over you?
1406
01:43:42,918 --> 01:43:47,913
That's another thing that hasn't
changed. You always were a sex maniac.
1407
01:43:53,061 --> 01:43:56,554
I'll start a fire. Okay.
1408
01:43:56,632 --> 01:43:59,101
You know, I figured out with
the cost of firewood today,
1409
01:43:59,167 --> 01:44:03,935
it's cheaper to buy furniture,
break it up and burn it.
1410
01:44:04,006 --> 01:44:07,909
Are things that tight? No. I'm okay.
1411
01:44:07,976 --> 01:44:11,105
I've been doing some
teaching at U.C.L.A. Ah.
1412
01:44:11,179 --> 01:44:15,207
What? Music? Accounting.
1413
01:44:15,284 --> 01:44:17,549
With the way things
are happening out there,
1414
01:44:17,619 --> 01:44:21,420
it seems that figures are still
the only things that don't lie.
1415
01:44:24,560 --> 01:44:26,222
Doris, why'd you sell your business?
1416
01:44:27,596 --> 01:44:31,328
How did you know about
that? I'll tell you later.
1417
01:44:31,400 --> 01:44:35,804
What made you do it? A chain bought me out.
1418
01:44:35,871 --> 01:44:39,137
It was just the right
offer at the right time.
1419
01:44:39,207 --> 01:44:44,942
But what do you do with yourself
now? Oh, I read and watch TV...
1420
01:44:45,013 --> 01:44:49,747
and visit my grandchildren,
play a little golf.
1421
01:44:49,818 --> 01:44:53,482
You know, all the jet set stuff.
1422
01:44:53,555 --> 01:44:56,286
I thought you loved working.
1423
01:44:56,358 --> 01:44:59,453
Well, there was another factor.
1424
01:44:59,528 --> 01:45:02,862
Harry had a heart attack. It
turned out to be a mild one,
1425
01:45:02,931 --> 01:45:06,197
but he needed me at the time, so...
1426
01:45:06,268 --> 01:45:09,602
Besides, it's not like I'm
in permanent retirement.
1427
01:45:09,671 --> 01:45:14,234
There's a local election in a couple of
months, and I've been approached to run.
1428
01:45:14,309 --> 01:45:17,507
On what ticket? Independent.
1429
01:45:17,579 --> 01:45:19,946
Figures.
1430
01:45:20,015 --> 01:45:22,507
Harry's okay now? Oh, yeah.
1431
01:45:22,584 --> 01:45:26,885
He runs four miles a day
and has a body like Mark Spitz.
1432
01:45:26,955 --> 01:45:31,984
Unfortunately, he still has a
face like Ernest Borgnine, but...
1433
01:45:35,197 --> 01:45:40,158
How's everything with
you and Harry emotionally?
1434
01:45:43,839 --> 01:45:46,707
Comfortable. Comfortable?
1435
01:45:46,775 --> 01:45:49,711
Well, that's not such a bad state to be in.
1436
01:45:49,778 --> 01:45:53,772
That word's been given a
bad reputation by the young.
1437
01:45:55,684 --> 01:45:59,451
Where's your luggage? Still in the car?
1438
01:45:59,521 --> 01:46:03,185
I didn't bring any. I can't stay.
1439
01:46:04,860 --> 01:46:07,796
Why not? Look, I have a lot to say...
1440
01:46:07,863 --> 01:46:13,063
and a very short time to
say it, so I'd better start.
1441
01:46:13,135 --> 01:46:16,230
In the first place, it turns out that...
1442
01:46:16,304 --> 01:46:19,297
Helen found out about us 10 years ago.
1443
01:46:24,980 --> 01:46:29,418
When did you learn that? Two months ago.
1444
01:46:31,019 --> 01:46:33,955
And she never confronted
you with it before?
1445
01:46:34,022 --> 01:46:37,789
No. What made her tell you now?
1446
01:46:37,859 --> 01:46:41,921
She didn't. We have a
very close friend, Connie.
1447
01:46:41,997 --> 01:46:45,297
Did... Have I ever mentioned her? - No.
1448
01:46:45,367 --> 01:46:47,927
Well, Connie told me.
1449
01:46:48,003 --> 01:46:52,668
All those years, and she
never even hinted that she knew.
1450
01:46:57,179 --> 01:47:00,343
I guess that's the nicest
story I've ever told about her.
1451
01:47:00,415 --> 01:47:05,444
- Your wife is an amazing woman.
- She passed away, Doris.
1452
01:47:11,293 --> 01:47:14,957
I lost her six months ago.
1453
01:47:16,732 --> 01:47:19,827
It was very fast.
1454
01:47:23,839 --> 01:47:25,998
I'm sorry to blurt it out like that. I
1455
01:47:26,022 --> 01:47:28,607
couldn't think of a
graceful way to tell you.
1456
01:47:30,078 --> 01:47:32,877
It's so strange.
1457
01:47:32,948 --> 01:47:38,046
I never even met Helen, and I
feel like I've just lost my best friend.
1458
01:47:41,623 --> 01:47:44,957
Are the kids okay? The kids
are great. If it weren't for them,
1459
01:47:45,026 --> 01:47:48,690
I don't know if I'd have
gotten through this whole thing.
1460
01:47:48,764 --> 01:47:51,529
I wish you'd tried to
reach me. Well, I did.
1461
01:47:51,600 --> 01:47:54,570
That's how I found
out you'd sold the store.
1462
01:47:54,636 --> 01:47:58,164
They gave me your home number, and I...
1463
01:47:58,240 --> 01:48:02,177
I let the phone ring four
times, and then I hung up.
1464
01:48:02,244 --> 01:48:04,907
But I felt better knowing you
were there if I needed you.
1465
01:48:04,980 --> 01:48:10,544
Oh, I wish you'd spoken to
me. Well, I didn't want to intrude.
1466
01:48:10,619 --> 01:48:14,078
I didn't think I had the right.
1467
01:48:16,258 --> 01:48:19,057
That's just terrible. We
should've been together.
1468
01:48:21,229 --> 01:48:24,927
You know, I've been
thinking about us a lot lately,
1469
01:48:26,535 --> 01:48:31,337
everything we've been through
together, things we've shared,
1470
01:48:31,406 --> 01:48:34,672
times we've helped each other.
1471
01:48:34,743 --> 01:48:38,180
Did you know we made love 113 times? What?
1472
01:48:38,246 --> 01:48:43,742
I figured that out on my Bomar calculator.
1473
01:48:43,819 --> 01:48:47,915
I think it's wonderful when
people know each other that well.
1474
01:48:47,989 --> 01:48:50,891
You know, there's nothing
about you I don't know.
1475
01:48:50,959 --> 01:48:54,123
You take two sugars, right? No. One.
1476
01:48:54,196 --> 01:48:56,995
Okay. Uh...
1477
01:48:57,065 --> 01:49:01,161
Oh, well, okay. Maybe I don't
know everything about you.
1478
01:49:02,938 --> 01:49:06,238
You know, I don't know who
your favorite movie stars are.
1479
01:49:06,308 --> 01:49:09,301
And I couldn't remember the
name of your favorite perfume.
1480
01:49:09,377 --> 01:49:13,109
- I racked my brain, and I couldn't think of it.
- That's funny.
1481
01:49:13,181 --> 01:49:15,241
It's My Sin.
1482
01:49:20,488 --> 01:49:24,721
But I do know that in 26 years,
I've never been out of love with you.
1483
01:49:26,428 --> 01:49:29,921
I think that's incredible.
1484
01:49:31,833 --> 01:49:35,793
- So what do you say, Doris?
- You wanna get married?
1485
01:49:35,871 --> 01:49:39,638
Married? We shouldn't even be doing this.
1486
01:49:39,708 --> 01:49:42,473
I'm serious.
1487
01:49:46,414 --> 01:49:50,249
Oh, my God. You are.
1488
01:49:50,318 --> 01:49:54,949
Well, what'd you think I
was, just a summer romance?
1489
01:49:57,826 --> 01:50:01,263
A simple yes will do.
1490
01:50:02,530 --> 01:50:06,365
There is no such thing, my love.
1491
01:50:09,671 --> 01:50:12,698
What is it?
1492
01:50:12,774 --> 01:50:17,269
I was just thinking of how many times
I've dreamed of your asking me this.
1493
01:50:17,345 --> 01:50:22,977
You know, that's pulled me through a lot
of bad times. I wanna thank you for that.
1494
01:50:23,051 --> 01:50:26,215
What did you say those other times?
1495
01:50:27,455 --> 01:50:30,391
I always said yes.
1496
01:50:30,458 --> 01:50:34,759
Why are you hesitating now? Do you
realize I'm offering you the opportunity...
1497
01:50:34,829 --> 01:50:37,765
to marry a man who has
known you for 26 years...
1498
01:50:37,832 --> 01:50:41,428
and can't walk by you without
wanting to grab your ass?
1499
01:50:41,503 --> 01:50:43,870
You always were a sweet talker.
1500
01:50:45,440 --> 01:50:47,500
Doris, will you marry me?
1501
01:50:51,513 --> 01:50:53,846
I can't.
1502
01:50:54,916 --> 01:50:57,249
Why not?
1503
01:51:00,221 --> 01:51:02,747
I'm already married.
1504
01:51:02,824 --> 01:51:06,226
You feel you have to stay
with him because he needs you?
1505
01:51:06,294 --> 01:51:11,289
No. No. It's a lot of things.
1506
01:51:12,467 --> 01:51:15,301
Affection.
1507
01:51:15,370 --> 01:51:17,839
Respect.
1508
01:51:17,906 --> 01:51:20,933
And a sense of continuity.
1509
01:51:21,009 --> 01:51:24,502
I mean, we share all the same memories.
1510
01:51:25,714 --> 01:51:28,809
It's comfortable.
1511
01:51:28,883 --> 01:51:34,652
Goddamn it. I was the one who
brought you back together six years ago.
1512
01:51:34,723 --> 01:51:38,160
Why did I do such a stupid
thing? Why was I so generous?
1513
01:51:38,226 --> 01:51:42,630
Because you felt the same way then about
Helen as I do now about Harry, that's why.
1514
01:51:42,697 --> 01:51:45,462
And besides, if you hadn't, you
might've been stuck with me for good,
1515
01:51:45,533 --> 01:51:48,697
and that idea scared you to death.
1516
01:51:52,540 --> 01:51:55,908
You always could see
through me, couldn't you?
1517
01:51:55,977 --> 01:51:58,970
But that's okay, 'cause...
1518
01:52:00,415 --> 01:52:03,408
I've always loved what I've seen.
1519
01:52:05,420 --> 01:52:08,686
Well, I want you now.
1520
01:52:10,992 --> 01:52:15,157
You can still have me once a
year, same time, same place.
1521
01:52:15,230 --> 01:52:18,223
Doris, I need a wife.
1522
01:52:19,768 --> 01:52:23,170
I'm just not the kind of
man who can live alone.
1523
01:52:23,238 --> 01:52:28,370
What I'm trying to say is that without
you, I'll probably end up with Connie.
1524
01:52:31,079 --> 01:52:34,982
Look, she knows all about us, and,
uh, she's not the kind of person...
1525
01:52:35,050 --> 01:52:38,817
who would go along with it.
1526
01:52:38,887 --> 01:52:42,324
I guess what I'm trying to say is that...
1527
01:52:44,626 --> 01:52:47,653
we'll never see each other again.
1528
01:53:01,910 --> 01:53:05,142
Doris, for God's sake, marry me.
1529
01:53:14,923 --> 01:53:17,290
I can't.
1530
01:53:25,700 --> 01:53:29,000
I wish there were something I
could say that would make you...
1531
01:53:29,070 --> 01:53:32,666
burst into tears and run away with me.
1532
01:53:36,578 --> 01:53:41,346
Well, you know us Irish. We never cry.
1533
01:53:44,252 --> 01:53:47,381
Yeah, well...
1534
01:53:50,692 --> 01:53:54,390
I have to catch a plane.
1535
01:54:06,007 --> 01:54:08,067
Who were your favorite movie stars?
1536
01:54:12,147 --> 01:54:15,049
Laurence Olivier.
1537
01:54:15,116 --> 01:54:17,915
Marlon Brando.
1538
01:54:17,986 --> 01:54:20,421
Cary Grant.
1539
01:54:22,924 --> 01:54:25,257
Lon McCallister.
1540
01:56:01,623 --> 01:56:05,822
Okay. I'm back, goddamn it.
1541
01:56:07,562 --> 01:56:11,465
- What about Connie?
- Connie is 87 years old.
1542
01:56:11,532 --> 01:56:14,593
What? Look. I wanted you to marry me,
1543
01:56:14,669 --> 01:56:18,401
and I figured if you thought somebody
else wanted me, I'd stand a better chance.
1544
01:56:18,473 --> 01:56:22,342
Okay. Maybe I didn't think things through.
1545
01:56:22,410 --> 01:56:25,471
I was desperate, okay?
1546
01:56:25,546 --> 01:56:28,630
Look. I don't even wanna discuss it. I'm
back, and I'm gonna keep coming back...
1547
01:56:28,650 --> 01:56:32,143
every year until our bones
are too brittle to risk contact.
1548
01:56:47,669 --> 01:56:49,695
♪ Hello ♪
1549
01:56:49,771 --> 01:56:54,038
♪ It all started with hello ♪
1550
01:56:54,108 --> 01:56:58,341
♪ On an evening long ago ♪
1551
01:56:58,413 --> 01:57:01,872
♪ When an unexpected smile ♪
1552
01:57:01,949 --> 01:57:04,214
♪ Caught my eye ♪
1553
01:57:04,285 --> 01:57:06,413
♪ Hello ♪
1554
01:57:06,487 --> 01:57:10,424
♪ If I'd smiled and looked away ♪
1555
01:57:10,491 --> 01:57:14,587
♪ We would not be here today ♪
1556
01:57:14,662 --> 01:57:19,862
♪ To never say good-bye ♪
1557
01:57:19,934 --> 01:57:24,929
♪ For the last time I felt like this ♪
1558
01:57:25,006 --> 01:57:29,410
♪ I was falling in love ♪
♪ I was falling ♪
1559
01:57:29,477 --> 01:57:35,178
♪ Falling and feeling I'd
never fall in love again ♪
1560
01:57:35,249 --> 01:57:39,880
♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪
1561
01:57:39,954 --> 01:57:42,014
♪ Was long before I knew ♪
1562
01:57:42,090 --> 01:57:46,824
What I'm feeling now ♪
1563
01:57:46,894 --> 01:57:49,955
♪ With you ♪
1564
01:57:50,031 --> 01:57:55,095
♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪
1565
01:57:55,169 --> 01:57:59,300
♪ I was falling in love ♪
♪ I was falling ♪
1566
01:57:59,374 --> 01:58:01,366
♪ Falling and feeling ♪
1567
01:58:01,442 --> 01:58:05,140
♪ I'd never fall in love again ♪
1568
01:58:05,213 --> 01:58:09,878
♪ Yes, the last time I felt like this ♪
1569
01:58:09,951 --> 01:58:12,443
♪ Was long before I knew ♪
1570
01:58:12,520 --> 01:58:17,424
What I'm feeling now ♪
1571
01:58:17,492 --> 01:58:25,492
♪ With you♪♪
1572
01:58:26,305 --> 01:59:26,401
Ondertitels door Mister Bee
Bart Besems
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