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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,399 --> 00:00:04,316 Excuse me, sir. 2 00:00:04,399 --> 00:00:05,761 Do you have a moment to save the children? 3 00:00:05,844 --> 00:00:07,365 I'm sorry, man. I'm-- I'm running late, 4 00:00:07,448 --> 00:00:09,033 and I just don't have time to chat right now, so... 5 00:00:09,116 --> 00:00:10,190 I understand that. I understand that. 6 00:00:10,273 --> 00:00:11,793 It's just that, every minute, another child 7 00:00:11,876 --> 00:00:13,762 dies unnecessarily, a child who could live 8 00:00:13,845 --> 00:00:16,007 a fruitful life with the help of just one small donation. 9 00:00:16,090 --> 00:00:17,610 Yeah, I'm-- I don't have the time. 10 00:00:17,693 --> 00:00:18,856 - I'm sorry. - I understand that. 11 00:00:18,939 --> 00:00:22,539 It's just, all it takes is $1 to save a child. 12 00:00:24,007 --> 00:00:25,784 All right. You know what? 13 00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:27,213 Fine, you're right. Yup. 14 00:00:27,296 --> 00:00:28,851 Who doesn't want to help a child? 15 00:00:29,074 --> 00:00:30,166 Let's save five children. 16 00:00:30,343 --> 00:00:31,578 Tommy! 17 00:00:43,170 --> 00:00:44,087 All right, come on, come on, come on. 18 00:00:44,171 --> 00:00:46,806 One, two, three, four, five. 19 00:00:46,890 --> 00:00:48,835 Not so fast. Just five. 20 00:00:51,199 --> 00:00:52,116 - Thanks a lot, sir. - Help! 21 00:00:52,199 --> 00:00:55,116 Help! Help! 22 00:00:58,951 --> 00:01:00,382 Oh, my God. I have another dollar. 23 00:01:00,601 --> 00:01:02,666 I have another dollar. Sir, I have another dollar. 24 00:01:05,749 --> 00:01:09,031 ♪ 25 00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:24,643 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com 26 00:01:24,727 --> 00:01:26,428 Resync WEB-DL by LeRalouf 27 00:01:29,449 --> 00:01:30,833 Like one time, I was in church, 28 00:01:30,935 --> 00:01:34,178 and I was talking to an elderly friend 29 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,192 of my mother's at the time, 30 00:01:35,276 --> 00:01:38,536 very classy lady, very decorous. 31 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:39,888 - And-- - "Decorous"? 32 00:01:39,972 --> 00:01:41,915 Decorous. It means proper, 33 00:01:41,999 --> 00:01:43,271 a person who does everything proper. 34 00:01:43,354 --> 00:01:44,171 Mm-hmm. I know. 35 00:01:44,255 --> 00:01:45,504 And, um... 36 00:01:46,470 --> 00:01:47,837 I was talking, 37 00:01:48,605 --> 00:01:52,028 and in the middle of a sentence, unbeknownst to me, 38 00:01:52,457 --> 00:01:53,888 I dropped an f-bomb. 39 00:01:54,726 --> 00:01:56,401 In church. In church, 40 00:01:56,487 --> 00:01:58,204 after church, before social period, 41 00:01:58,287 --> 00:02:00,916 we about to go get some coffee and donuts up in this boinks. 42 00:02:00,999 --> 00:02:01,916 I'm talking to my girl. 43 00:02:01,999 --> 00:02:03,382 - What'd you say? - She shall remain name-- 44 00:02:03,465 --> 00:02:04,674 I don't remember. I don't remember. 45 00:02:04,757 --> 00:02:06,155 - I just remember talking about-- - You're just like, 46 00:02:06,238 --> 00:02:08,237 "I'm gonna get some fucking-- fucking communion." 47 00:02:08,323 --> 00:02:10,185 And that's-- 48 00:02:23,604 --> 00:02:25,158 Happy Sunday, Esther. 49 00:02:25,241 --> 00:02:27,659 Happy Sunday, Georgina. 50 00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:29,075 How was your week? 51 00:02:29,158 --> 00:02:31,627 - Oh, the Lord is with me. - Mm-hmm. 52 00:02:31,710 --> 00:02:32,821 But the Devil, 53 00:02:32,950 --> 00:02:35,923 he got his hands on my grandniece Grace. 54 00:02:36,006 --> 00:02:37,565 - Oh, no. - Mm-hmm. 55 00:02:37,676 --> 00:02:41,160 Out there smoking the reefer, doing the hanky-panky with boys. 56 00:02:41,243 --> 00:02:42,436 No, Georgina. 57 00:02:42,519 --> 00:02:44,005 Oh, Esther, you know 58 00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:47,923 that I love all things that are good and holy. 59 00:02:48,006 --> 00:02:50,923 - Mm-hmm. - But if he doesn't let go 60 00:02:51,006 --> 00:02:53,923 of my grandniece Grace, 61 00:02:54,006 --> 00:02:56,358 I'm gonna cut the Devil's dick off 62 00:02:56,441 --> 00:02:57,923 and shove it in his ass. 63 00:02:58,006 --> 00:02:59,902 Mm-hmm. 64 00:03:00,006 --> 00:03:03,241 - With my prayers. - I know you will, Georgina. 65 00:03:03,325 --> 00:03:05,171 I know you will. 66 00:03:05,742 --> 00:03:06,910 How was your week, girl? 67 00:03:06,993 --> 00:03:08,701 Oh, you know me. 68 00:03:08,784 --> 00:03:10,923 I'm blessed and thankful for everything. 69 00:03:11,006 --> 00:03:12,699 Mm-hmm. All right. 70 00:03:12,782 --> 00:03:16,462 But you know my grandson Jason got hisself wrapped up 71 00:03:16,545 --> 00:03:18,823 in the leathery claws of Satan. 72 00:03:19,006 --> 00:03:21,712 - Not Jason. - He got hisself arrested 73 00:03:21,795 --> 00:03:23,839 for the spray-painting and the vandalism. 74 00:03:23,923 --> 00:03:24,922 Oh, Lord. 75 00:03:25,006 --> 00:03:27,492 And I tell you, I never 76 00:03:28,006 --> 00:03:30,416 raise my hand in anger, 77 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:33,664 but if he don't let Jason go, 78 00:03:33,748 --> 00:03:37,554 I'm gonna punch that nigga Satan in the nuts so hard, 79 00:03:37,638 --> 00:03:41,210 it wipe the dick-licking smirk off his horned-ass face. 80 00:03:41,294 --> 00:03:42,293 Mm-hmm. 81 00:03:43,006 --> 00:03:44,344 - With my prayers. - Amen. 82 00:03:44,427 --> 00:03:46,923 I know you will, Esther, I know you will, 83 00:03:47,006 --> 00:03:49,320 but Esther, I gotta tell you something else, now. 84 00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:50,517 Mmm, let it out. 85 00:03:50,610 --> 00:03:51,609 You know, Esther, 86 00:03:51,847 --> 00:03:55,502 that I have found serenity in the glory of Heaven. 87 00:03:55,586 --> 00:03:56,380 Yes. 88 00:03:56,492 --> 00:03:58,918 But my daughter's husband Bernard 89 00:03:59,001 --> 00:04:00,752 has got himself wedged 90 00:04:00,835 --> 00:04:03,607 between the cleft hooves of Lucifer hisself. 91 00:04:03,690 --> 00:04:04,923 - Mmm. - She opened up 92 00:04:05,006 --> 00:04:06,923 his laptop computer 93 00:04:07,006 --> 00:04:08,700 and found the pornography of women. 94 00:04:08,783 --> 00:04:09,923 Not the pornography of women. 95 00:04:10,006 --> 00:04:11,702 Absolutely the pornography of women. 96 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:12,923 Not on the laptop computer. 97 00:04:13,006 --> 00:04:14,923 On the laptop computer found the pornography of women. 98 00:04:15,006 --> 00:04:15,923 Mmm. 99 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,923 I am a pacifist under God's request, 100 00:04:19,006 --> 00:04:20,923 but if he don't let go of Bernard, 101 00:04:21,006 --> 00:04:24,923 I'm gonna sneak up on that bitch-ass Lucifer 102 00:04:25,006 --> 00:04:27,377 right in the midst of his sleep time. 103 00:04:27,461 --> 00:04:28,922 - Oh. - And then I'm gonna sit 104 00:04:29,006 --> 00:04:30,422 on that motherfucker's head, 105 00:04:30,506 --> 00:04:33,923 and I'm gonna spread my booty cheeks on that pig's face, 106 00:04:34,006 --> 00:04:35,923 and I'm gonna just pucker up my stank hole... 107 00:04:36,006 --> 00:04:36,923 Whoo. 108 00:04:37,006 --> 00:04:38,923 And just toops, toops, toops, 109 00:04:39,006 --> 00:04:41,033 scoops, bedoop-scoop-scoop-skedoops 110 00:04:41,117 --> 00:04:43,923 until that nigga got a brown dot on his nose 111 00:04:44,006 --> 00:04:45,923 that I can use for target practice. 112 00:04:46,006 --> 00:04:46,923 Sha-plow! 113 00:04:47,006 --> 00:04:47,923 - Shoot that. - Sha-plow! 114 00:04:48,006 --> 00:04:48,923 - Shoot that! - Sha-plow! 115 00:04:49,006 --> 00:04:52,088 - Whoo, shoot that nigga in the shit-nack. 116 00:04:52,172 --> 00:04:53,392 With my prayers. 117 00:04:53,476 --> 00:04:55,252 With your prayers, of course, of course. 118 00:04:55,335 --> 00:04:57,923 Oh, Georgina, Georgina, Georgina. 119 00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,033 Yup, yup, yup, yup, yup? 120 00:04:59,117 --> 00:05:02,922 Oh, I got nothing but faith in God and Heaven above, 121 00:05:03,006 --> 00:05:05,672 but I tell you, my son's wife Crystal, 122 00:05:05,756 --> 00:05:08,642 she got herself wrapped up in the fiery wings 123 00:05:08,726 --> 00:05:10,181 of Mephistopheles hisself. 124 00:05:10,265 --> 00:05:11,492 Here we go. 125 00:05:11,576 --> 00:05:15,406 You know, she got caught using profanity with her own children. 126 00:05:15,651 --> 00:05:17,265 - What? - At the dinner table. 127 00:05:17,348 --> 00:05:19,923 Oh, Lord, child, child. 128 00:05:20,006 --> 00:05:22,923 Georgina Darlene Martin! 129 00:05:23,006 --> 00:05:28,922 Oh, I have nothing but love for every creature on this planet, 130 00:05:29,006 --> 00:05:31,923 but if he don't let my darling Crystal go, 131 00:05:32,006 --> 00:05:34,489 - I'm gonna flirt with the devil. - Oh. Oh. 132 00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:36,336 Show him a little bit of shoulder. 133 00:05:36,485 --> 00:05:37,607 "How you doin'?" 134 00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:39,810 He gonna start looking away, I'm gonna start twerking. 135 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,923 Start twerking, he gonna be like, "Whoo." 136 00:05:42,006 --> 00:05:43,158 He gonna be, he gonna be drawn in. 137 00:05:43,242 --> 00:05:43,923 Mm-hmm. 138 00:05:44,006 --> 00:05:45,923 Seduce that little motherfucker. 139 00:05:46,006 --> 00:05:47,212 Give him one of these. "Hi." 140 00:05:47,295 --> 00:05:48,923 Batting my eyelashes at him. 141 00:05:49,006 --> 00:05:50,695 Then when he least expects it, 142 00:05:50,779 --> 00:05:54,367 and I got his trust, that's when I'm gonna ride that nigga. 143 00:05:54,451 --> 00:05:56,562 I'm gonna give him the night of his life, 144 00:05:56,646 --> 00:05:58,482 a night he ain't never gonna forget. 145 00:05:58,566 --> 00:05:59,923 - Go get him. - I'm gonna give him this way. 146 00:06:00,006 --> 00:06:01,370 I'm gonna give him that way. 147 00:06:01,453 --> 00:06:03,923 And then, right when he about to climax, 148 00:06:04,006 --> 00:06:07,127 that's when I'm gonna clench up my pussy 149 00:06:07,211 --> 00:06:09,181 on that motherfucker's red dick, 150 00:06:09,265 --> 00:06:11,976 and I'm gonna snap that nigga cock off 151 00:06:12,060 --> 00:06:14,239 with a divine kegel. 152 00:06:14,323 --> 00:06:16,460 Well, you gonna snap that nigga dick off. 153 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,780 - Whoo! - Snap it off! Whoo! 154 00:06:18,864 --> 00:06:19,923 - With my prayers. - With your prayers. 155 00:06:20,006 --> 00:06:20,923 - With your prayers. - With my prayers. 156 00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:22,233 Of course. With the prayers, yeah. 157 00:06:22,317 --> 00:06:23,767 - But that's right, girl. - Yes. 158 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:24,923 - You go get him, Esther! - Yes! 159 00:06:25,006 --> 00:06:26,473 - Fuck Satan! - Fuck him! 160 00:06:26,556 --> 00:06:28,551 - Fuck him in the-- 161 00:06:33,778 --> 00:06:37,344 Wha-- What's happening, Georgina? 162 00:06:37,427 --> 00:06:39,076 Georgina isn't here anymore. 163 00:06:42,006 --> 00:06:44,923 It is I, Satan. 164 00:06:45,006 --> 00:06:45,778 Ah! 165 00:06:49,006 --> 00:06:50,564 Ah! No, Esther! 166 00:06:50,647 --> 00:06:51,833 - I'm in here, though! - Oh! 167 00:06:51,916 --> 00:06:52,923 I'm kicking this nigga's ass. 168 00:06:53,006 --> 00:06:54,923 Yeah! 169 00:06:55,006 --> 00:06:56,923 Oh, help me. Somebody help me. 170 00:06:57,006 --> 00:06:58,423 I ca-- can't get out of this bitch. 171 00:06:58,506 --> 00:07:00,733 Oh, get him, Georgina! Get him! 172 00:07:00,816 --> 00:07:01,923 I stuck a safety pin 173 00:07:02,006 --> 00:07:02,923 in this nigga's urethra. 174 00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,923 - Ooh! - Oww! 175 00:07:05,006 --> 00:07:06,923 Fuck! That hurts! 176 00:07:07,006 --> 00:07:08,218 Right now I got his dick 177 00:07:08,301 --> 00:07:09,923 in my hands like a old rag. 178 00:07:10,006 --> 00:07:12,923 I'm wringing out! I'm wringing it out! 179 00:07:13,006 --> 00:07:14,778 Oh, give me some of that. 180 00:07:14,862 --> 00:07:16,922 I want a piece of him, yes. 181 00:07:17,006 --> 00:07:18,942 Tag me in. 182 00:07:25,006 --> 00:07:26,923 Who is this crazy bitch, now? 183 00:07:27,006 --> 00:07:28,592 Ah, it's me, motherfucker! 184 00:07:28,675 --> 00:07:30,923 Your worst nightmare, bitch! 185 00:07:31,006 --> 00:07:31,923 - Shoot that motherfucker! - That's right. 186 00:07:32,006 --> 00:07:33,923 I'm on top of you. I'm on top of him. 187 00:07:34,006 --> 00:07:35,089 What's going on? 188 00:07:35,172 --> 00:07:37,178 This feels good. Why would you do this to me? 189 00:07:37,261 --> 00:07:38,534 Oh, you'll see in a second, 190 00:07:38,617 --> 00:07:39,923 - motherfucker. - Just wait, motherfucker. 191 00:07:40,006 --> 00:07:41,923 Oh, I'm waiting, but oh, here I cum. 192 00:07:42,006 --> 00:07:42,923 Here I cum. 193 00:07:43,006 --> 00:07:43,754 Here you go, ha! 194 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,922 Grabbed it! Snap! 195 00:07:46,006 --> 00:07:48,692 - Ooh! - Ooh, I got him good. 196 00:07:48,776 --> 00:07:49,923 I'll do anything you say. 197 00:07:50,006 --> 00:07:50,923 I'll do anything you say. 198 00:07:51,006 --> 00:07:52,723 Too late now. Too late now, Satan. 199 00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:53,922 Oh, shh. We should probably go. 200 00:07:54,006 --> 00:07:55,923 Oh, yeah, let's go, let's go. 201 00:07:56,006 --> 00:07:56,923 We don't want to disturb the service. 202 00:07:57,006 --> 00:07:57,923 Ooh, I got a hold of him. 203 00:07:58,006 --> 00:07:59,923 I'm gonna-- We gonna go medieval on his ass. 204 00:08:00,006 --> 00:08:02,923 No, no! Oh, lordy! I can't take it. 205 00:08:03,006 --> 00:08:03,923 I can't take it. 206 00:08:04,006 --> 00:08:05,166 Get over here, mister. 207 00:08:05,249 --> 00:08:06,633 Please, please! 208 00:08:06,716 --> 00:08:09,481 Get these crazy bitches off of me. 209 00:08:10,006 --> 00:08:12,883 Jesus Christ is my personal Lord and savior, I swear. 210 00:08:12,966 --> 00:08:14,176 You're too late for that now. 211 00:08:23,767 --> 00:08:26,299 "Been trying to reach out to you all day. 212 00:08:27,572 --> 00:08:29,192 Are we on for tonight?" 213 00:08:30,954 --> 00:08:32,683 Jeez. 214 00:08:32,767 --> 00:08:34,301 What? You can't catch me. 215 00:08:34,385 --> 00:08:35,384 You can't catch me. 216 00:08:35,594 --> 00:08:37,048 I'm Lance Moore. Touchdown, bitch. 217 00:08:37,132 --> 00:08:38,301 What? Pause. 218 00:08:46,189 --> 00:08:47,742 Oh, shoot. 219 00:08:48,243 --> 00:08:50,151 Keegan's been texting me. 220 00:08:52,088 --> 00:08:54,683 "Sorry, dude, missed your texts. 221 00:08:55,047 --> 00:08:57,248 "I assumed we'd meet at the bar. 222 00:08:58,032 --> 00:08:59,541 "Whatever. I don't care." 223 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,339 "Sorry, dude, missed your texts. 224 00:09:09,422 --> 00:09:11,668 "I assumed we'd meet at the bar. 225 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,687 "Whatever. I don't care." 226 00:09:14,817 --> 00:09:16,665 "Whatever. I don't care"? 227 00:09:18,222 --> 00:09:20,095 What the fuck is his problem? 228 00:09:21,383 --> 00:09:24,339 "Do you even want to hang out?" 229 00:09:24,422 --> 00:09:25,892 "Do you even want to hang out?" 230 00:09:25,976 --> 00:09:27,791 Oh, that's considerate. 231 00:09:30,056 --> 00:09:31,812 "Like I said, whatever." 232 00:09:31,895 --> 00:09:33,881 "Like I said, whatever"? 233 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:35,326 Fuck this guy. 234 00:09:36,168 --> 00:09:37,250 Jesus, "You..." 235 00:09:37,334 --> 00:09:39,283 "...are fucking priceless." 236 00:09:39,455 --> 00:09:42,851 Aww. "You're the..." 237 00:09:42,934 --> 00:09:45,127 "...one who's fucking priceless"? 238 00:09:45,915 --> 00:09:46,816 This m-- 239 00:09:47,845 --> 00:09:49,595 This motherfucker right here. 240 00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:52,335 Oh, he wants to-- okay, mm-hmm. 241 00:09:52,821 --> 00:09:54,361 Mm-hmm. Okay. 242 00:09:55,422 --> 00:09:56,339 "You want to go..." 243 00:09:56,422 --> 00:09:57,339 "right now?" 244 00:09:57,524 --> 00:09:58,459 Hmm. 245 00:09:59,556 --> 00:10:00,875 Guess I could do that. 246 00:10:02,422 --> 00:10:03,402 "Okay..." 247 00:10:03,486 --> 00:10:04,714 "Okay, let's go"? 248 00:10:04,797 --> 00:10:07,668 He said oka-- "Okay, let's go"? 249 00:10:07,752 --> 00:10:09,008 All right, you know what? 250 00:10:09,092 --> 00:10:10,715 You know what? "You want to really..." 251 00:10:10,799 --> 00:10:14,002 "...do this now?" Keegan, you nut. 252 00:10:14,422 --> 00:10:16,041 You're not putting me out. 253 00:10:16,125 --> 00:10:18,339 "Fuck yeah, let's do it"? 254 00:10:18,422 --> 00:10:19,880 Oh, you fucking asshole! 255 00:10:19,963 --> 00:10:21,402 "First round's mine." 256 00:10:21,486 --> 00:10:22,339 Oh, no! Oh, no! 257 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,339 There ain't gonna be no rounds, asshole! 258 00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:26,410 It's gonna be a fucking street fight! 259 00:10:26,494 --> 00:10:27,390 This son of a-- 260 00:10:27,474 --> 00:10:30,339 ♪ 'cause tonight we gonna party and the party don't stop ♪ 261 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:31,339 You! 262 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:32,699 Buddy! 263 00:10:32,783 --> 00:10:34,647 Like I said, first round's mine. 264 00:10:34,730 --> 00:10:37,727 A beer and a gimlet for my partner right-- 265 00:10:39,047 --> 00:10:40,111 What's that? 266 00:10:40,866 --> 00:10:44,728 Uh, I-I got you a baseball bat with nails in it. 267 00:10:47,038 --> 00:10:49,339 For my post-apocalyptic Jackie Robinson costume. 268 00:10:49,422 --> 00:10:50,572 How did you know? 269 00:10:53,397 --> 00:10:54,880 I'm gonna try to freestyle for a second. 270 00:10:54,963 --> 00:10:55,596 Yup, yup. 271 00:10:55,766 --> 00:10:56,765 Off the top of the dome. 272 00:10:56,958 --> 00:10:58,395 Off the top of the dome. Break it down. 273 00:10:59,688 --> 00:11:01,938 ♪ Witness violence every day 274 00:11:02,022 --> 00:11:03,603 ♪ Wake up in the morning 275 00:11:04,627 --> 00:11:06,939 ♪ Bullets flying by my head 276 00:11:07,022 --> 00:11:08,978 ♪ Without any warning 277 00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:13,556 ♪ I live in the pressure cooker the most urbanest of jungles ♪ 278 00:11:16,486 --> 00:11:17,931 ♪ Mr. Bungle 279 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,480 I can't really get Mr. Bungle. 280 00:11:21,564 --> 00:11:22,773 - Let's just stop. - You want to stop? 281 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,892 I shouldn't be saying Mr. Bungle in that. 282 00:11:32,022 --> 00:11:40,022 ♪ 283 00:11:43,022 --> 00:11:45,939 It's Friday night. Make some noise! 284 00:11:47,022 --> 00:11:48,939 Aw, yeah! 285 00:11:49,022 --> 00:11:51,939 Put your motherfucking hands in the air. 286 00:11:52,022 --> 00:11:54,939 Aw, yeah! Put 'em up. 287 00:11:55,022 --> 00:11:57,939 If you cool like a pimp, put your hands up. 288 00:11:58,022 --> 00:12:01,292 If you cool like a pimp, put your hands up. 289 00:12:01,376 --> 00:12:04,702 'Cause you're an actual pimp, put your hands up. 290 00:12:04,786 --> 00:12:07,938 If you own a bunch of women, put your hands up. 291 00:12:08,022 --> 00:12:13,939 ♪ 292 00:12:14,022 --> 00:12:17,577 If you gonna hit it all night, put your hands up. 293 00:12:17,665 --> 00:12:20,152 If you gonna hit it all night, put your hands up. 294 00:12:20,235 --> 00:12:21,233 Yeah, all right. 295 00:12:21,316 --> 00:12:24,344 If you maintain an erection for 12 hours, 296 00:12:24,428 --> 00:12:25,939 put your hands up. 297 00:12:26,022 --> 00:12:27,962 Whoo! 298 00:12:28,045 --> 00:12:30,660 Without the benefit of Viagra, 299 00:12:30,744 --> 00:12:32,776 put your hands up. 300 00:12:32,860 --> 00:12:37,332 ♪ 301 00:12:37,416 --> 00:12:39,939 If you a real-life player, put your hands up. 302 00:12:40,022 --> 00:12:40,939 What? Yeah. 303 00:12:41,022 --> 00:12:44,216 If you abuse women's trust, put your hands up. 304 00:12:44,299 --> 00:12:47,938 If you treat them like objects, put your hands up. 305 00:12:48,022 --> 00:12:53,939 ♪ 306 00:12:54,022 --> 00:12:56,939 If you a real-life gangster, put your hands up. 307 00:12:57,236 --> 00:13:00,678 If you a real-life gangster, put your hands up. 308 00:13:00,762 --> 00:13:03,939 If you kill other people, put your hands up. 309 00:13:04,022 --> 00:13:06,939 ♪ 310 00:13:07,248 --> 00:13:10,901 If you the biggest boss here, put your hands up. 311 00:13:11,022 --> 00:13:13,021 ♪ 312 00:13:13,524 --> 00:13:17,268 If you run an actual drug ring, put your hands up. 313 00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:23,333 If you just realized that you're full of shit, 314 00:13:23,422 --> 00:13:24,939 put your hands up. 315 00:13:31,956 --> 00:13:32,873 All right. 316 00:13:33,339 --> 00:13:34,466 Third time's the charm. 317 00:13:37,956 --> 00:13:42,011 ♪ All of my life, I've crushed dreams and crushed bitches ♪ 318 00:13:43,112 --> 00:13:47,620 ♪ No one ever has come to me without leaving in stitches ♪ 319 00:13:48,066 --> 00:13:50,276 ♪ I'm a monster 320 00:13:50,811 --> 00:13:52,566 ♪ I grant wishes 321 00:13:53,456 --> 00:13:56,170 ♪ Like a genie, I dream of Jeannie ♪ 322 00:13:56,651 --> 00:13:58,229 ♪ I'm a meanie 323 00:13:58,500 --> 00:13:59,568 Why does it always just go-- 324 00:13:59,651 --> 00:14:00,873 I don't know. You keep getting-- 325 00:14:00,956 --> 00:14:02,101 You-- you're doing really well, 326 00:14:02,184 --> 00:14:03,580 and then you get in this TV reference. 327 00:14:03,663 --> 00:14:04,873 Yeah, that's what's doing me. 328 00:14:04,956 --> 00:14:06,261 And it's-- it's the tough part. 329 00:14:12,839 --> 00:14:14,401 Welcome to Papard Mattress Liquidators. 330 00:14:14,484 --> 00:14:15,972 How can I help you today? 331 00:14:16,206 --> 00:14:18,123 I need to buy a new bed. 332 00:14:18,206 --> 00:14:19,135 Okay. Yeah, good, good. 333 00:14:19,218 --> 00:14:20,906 You came to the right place. I'll be more than happy 334 00:14:20,989 --> 00:14:21,957 to help you with that. Uh... 335 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,419 What size you need? A full, queen, king? 336 00:14:24,502 --> 00:14:25,995 - Queen. - Queen, oh. 337 00:14:26,079 --> 00:14:28,175 - We got a big sel-- - And just so you know, 338 00:14:28,928 --> 00:14:30,122 it needs to be sturdy. 339 00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:31,123 All right. 340 00:14:31,354 --> 00:14:34,198 Shit gets kind of crazy in my room. 341 00:14:34,677 --> 00:14:36,792 Oh, okay. 342 00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,827 I got you, brother. 343 00:14:38,910 --> 00:14:39,910 I got you. 344 00:14:43,439 --> 00:14:46,606 Well, this posturepedic mattress we got right here, 345 00:14:46,689 --> 00:14:48,205 this is extremely comfortable 346 00:14:48,450 --> 00:14:50,310 and, uh... durable. 347 00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:52,472 Do you mind if I try it? 348 00:14:52,556 --> 00:14:53,784 No, not at all. Go ahead. 349 00:14:58,487 --> 00:15:02,123 I should also mention, there's 100% money-back guarantee on-- 350 00:15:02,206 --> 00:15:03,427 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 351 00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:04,870 Who got that good "D"? 352 00:15:04,954 --> 00:15:05,925 I got that good "D"! 353 00:15:06,009 --> 00:15:07,214 Yeah! Yeah! 354 00:15:09,761 --> 00:15:11,050 No, it's too hard. 355 00:15:11,927 --> 00:15:14,003 Do you have anything softer? 356 00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:15,925 Um... 357 00:15:16,534 --> 00:15:17,816 Of course. 358 00:15:21,409 --> 00:15:25,593 This-- This is one of our, um, natural latex mattresses. 359 00:15:26,323 --> 00:15:30,575 It's on sale, too, today, at $1,200. 360 00:15:30,807 --> 00:15:31,987 Can I try it? 361 00:15:33,706 --> 00:15:34,534 Sure. 362 00:15:38,206 --> 00:15:39,625 Who got that good "D"? 363 00:15:39,715 --> 00:15:41,123 I got that good "D"! 364 00:15:42,206 --> 00:15:44,526 Who got that good "D"? I got that good "D"! 365 00:15:46,072 --> 00:15:47,746 It seems a little pricey. 366 00:15:47,830 --> 00:15:49,401 Okay. No, it's a little pricey. 367 00:15:49,485 --> 00:15:50,558 I ain't gonna lie to you. 368 00:15:50,642 --> 00:15:53,092 But, uh, no problem. We got other choices. 369 00:15:54,666 --> 00:15:55,665 Um... 370 00:15:56,058 --> 00:15:59,153 This a great memory foam mattress, right here. 371 00:15:59,237 --> 00:16:00,613 It's a little cheaper, and-- 372 00:16:00,701 --> 00:16:02,700 Can I try it out? 373 00:16:03,206 --> 00:16:05,123 Right. Right, yeah. 374 00:16:05,206 --> 00:16:07,081 I mean, of course, of course you want to try. 375 00:16:07,206 --> 00:16:08,878 You know how it goes. 376 00:16:09,003 --> 00:16:10,122 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 377 00:16:10,206 --> 00:16:11,362 Coming up on them late nights. 378 00:16:11,446 --> 00:16:13,761 Aye! Aye! Boom, boom, boom, boom! 379 00:16:13,886 --> 00:16:16,698 "Yes! Si, papi! Si, papi! Si, papi!" 380 00:16:17,206 --> 00:16:19,667 Yeah, man, right. 381 00:16:20,206 --> 00:16:21,933 Yeah, man. Um... 382 00:16:22,487 --> 00:16:23,416 Sex happens. 383 00:16:23,499 --> 00:16:25,151 Yip! 384 00:16:26,827 --> 00:16:28,123 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 385 00:16:28,206 --> 00:16:30,123 Who got that good "D"? I got that good "D"! 386 00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,123 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 387 00:16:31,206 --> 00:16:32,123 Who got that good "D"? 388 00:16:32,206 --> 00:16:33,123 I got that good "D"! 389 00:16:33,206 --> 00:16:34,917 Oh! Oh, here it comes! 390 00:16:35,065 --> 00:16:38,909 Here it comes! Here it comes! 391 00:16:38,993 --> 00:16:41,808 Hoo-ah! 392 00:16:41,971 --> 00:16:43,302 Yup, that's the one. 393 00:16:43,631 --> 00:16:45,503 - I'll take it. - Okay, let me ring you up. 394 00:16:47,534 --> 00:16:50,123 Aye! Aye! Aye! 395 00:16:50,206 --> 00:16:52,123 Who got that good "D"? I got that good "D"! 396 00:16:52,206 --> 00:16:53,123 Aye, papi! 397 00:16:53,206 --> 00:16:55,122 Who got that good "D"? I got that good "D"! 398 00:16:55,206 --> 00:16:56,123 - Si, papi! 399 00:16:56,206 --> 00:16:58,123 Aye! Aye! Aye! Aye! 400 00:16:58,206 --> 00:17:01,534 Who got that good "D"? I got that good "D"! 401 00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:06,823 Thank you. 402 00:17:12,922 --> 00:17:13,839 - Mike. - Brody. 403 00:17:13,922 --> 00:17:15,344 Yeah. Hey, how are you, man? 404 00:17:15,427 --> 00:17:16,569 - What's up, man? - Good to see you. 405 00:17:16,652 --> 00:17:18,003 Hey, I'm glad I ran into you. 406 00:17:18,097 --> 00:17:20,639 What is that joke that you told recently at the office? 407 00:17:20,722 --> 00:17:22,839 Everybody is just, like, giggling about it all the time, 408 00:17:22,922 --> 00:17:23,839 and I haven't heard it yet. 409 00:17:23,922 --> 00:17:24,839 Oh, gosh. 410 00:17:24,922 --> 00:17:26,308 Okay. Um... 411 00:17:26,392 --> 00:17:27,808 - All right, it goes like this. - Yeah. 412 00:17:27,892 --> 00:17:29,099 So, there's this woman, and-- 413 00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:35,838 - Okay. - I'm sorry! 414 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:36,839 Good audience. 415 00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:38,839 Yeah, I'm sorry. I love it already. 416 00:17:38,922 --> 00:17:41,194 I love it already. 417 00:17:41,278 --> 00:17:42,460 Awesome. Okay. 418 00:17:42,543 --> 00:17:44,921 Well, this should go well. Um... 419 00:17:45,248 --> 00:17:49,521 So there's-- there's a woman, and she goes to her doctor. 420 00:17:49,605 --> 00:17:52,839 She goes to her doctor! It's already funny. 421 00:17:52,922 --> 00:17:54,566 It's already funny. 422 00:17:54,649 --> 00:17:56,839 No, I haven't even gotten to the setup yet. 423 00:17:59,698 --> 00:18:02,581 So, she goes to her doctor, and she, um... 424 00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,839 She says to her doctor, "Kiss me." 425 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:07,698 No, that's not it. 426 00:18:07,922 --> 00:18:10,839 That's not it. That-- That's not the punch line. 427 00:18:12,922 --> 00:18:14,839 You got to stop already. 428 00:18:14,922 --> 00:18:16,129 You're killing me over here. 429 00:18:16,212 --> 00:18:17,214 Oh, you-- 430 00:18:17,453 --> 00:18:19,839 I don't know if you think the joke is over, but it's not. 431 00:18:19,922 --> 00:18:21,149 It's actually just starting. 432 00:18:24,922 --> 00:18:26,187 Okay. So I'm gonna-- 433 00:18:26,270 --> 00:18:27,534 I'm just gonna speed up. 434 00:18:27,617 --> 00:18:29,550 So she says to her doctor, "Kiss me," 435 00:18:29,633 --> 00:18:31,839 and he says, "I can't. It would be unprofessional." 436 00:18:31,922 --> 00:18:33,839 No. No, not even close. 437 00:18:33,922 --> 00:18:37,659 She says-- he says, "That would be unprofessional," 438 00:18:37,743 --> 00:18:40,155 and then she says, she keeps asking him, 439 00:18:40,238 --> 00:18:41,698 and he says, "No, no, no." 440 00:18:41,782 --> 00:18:43,378 Happens three times like that. 441 00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,463 Finally, at the end, she says, 442 00:18:46,922 --> 00:18:48,839 "Kiss me," and he says, 443 00:18:48,922 --> 00:18:52,066 "I shouldn't even be having sex with you right now." 444 00:18:55,922 --> 00:18:56,995 Then what happens? 445 00:19:00,391 --> 00:19:02,133 I don't--I don't know. 446 00:19:02,473 --> 00:19:04,839 Then, I guess she-- she probably sued him 447 00:19:04,922 --> 00:19:05,839 for malpractice? 448 00:19:08,850 --> 00:19:11,969 Sued him for malpractice. 449 00:19:15,201 --> 00:19:17,516 So you know that wasn't-- that wasn't the punch line? 450 00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:19,500 That wasn't the punch line? 451 00:19:19,583 --> 00:19:20,839 - No. The punch-- - There's more? 452 00:19:20,922 --> 00:19:22,839 No, there's not. 453 00:19:22,922 --> 00:19:23,839 There's not more. 454 00:19:23,922 --> 00:19:26,033 There's more to the joke? 455 00:19:26,117 --> 00:19:28,155 No, there-- there's actually less. 456 00:19:28,696 --> 00:19:31,360 Well, that's it! You turned it around! 457 00:19:32,784 --> 00:19:34,839 - No, there's-- - You turned it around! 458 00:19:34,922 --> 00:19:36,446 - The joke-- - He said less! 459 00:19:37,055 --> 00:19:38,839 - The joke was-- - There can't be less. 460 00:19:38,922 --> 00:19:41,799 The punch line was the only part that you didn't laugh at. 461 00:19:47,511 --> 00:19:50,670 What the fuck? 462 00:19:51,009 --> 00:19:52,094 - You got me! - You got me. 463 00:19:52,178 --> 00:19:54,839 You were doing a joke the whole time! 464 00:19:54,922 --> 00:19:57,442 You were doing a weird character the whole time. 465 00:19:57,525 --> 00:19:59,459 Oh, my God, yes. Yes. 466 00:19:59,542 --> 00:20:02,092 I love the malpractice stuff. 467 00:20:02,264 --> 00:20:05,117 The malpractice punch line is hilarious. 468 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,839 So you weren't doing a character? 469 00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:09,236 - What charact-- What character? - Okay. 470 00:20:09,319 --> 00:20:11,133 This is some crazy shit. 471 00:20:13,733 --> 00:20:15,190 Hey, yo, did you ever hear my theory 472 00:20:15,273 --> 00:20:16,666 about flying, though? 473 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:17,693 Mm-mm. 474 00:20:17,922 --> 00:20:21,624 The reason you have to jerk off before you fly-- 475 00:20:21,708 --> 00:20:22,943 Who does? What? 476 00:20:24,528 --> 00:20:26,475 Everybody jerks off before they fly. 477 00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:29,839 I think you need to look up the word "everybody." 478 00:20:29,922 --> 00:20:31,076 Well, look. Okay. 479 00:20:31,567 --> 00:20:33,921 Maybe... 480 00:20:34,321 --> 00:20:35,722 you're an exception to the rule, 481 00:20:35,805 --> 00:20:38,450 but I'm fairly certain that everybody else 482 00:20:39,183 --> 00:20:42,120 gets massive boners or whatever and jerks off-- 483 00:20:42,203 --> 00:20:43,839 I'm sorry. Gets massive boners 484 00:20:43,922 --> 00:20:44,978 - before they get on the plane? - Yeah. 485 00:20:45,061 --> 00:20:46,482 I think there's a physiological reason. 486 00:20:46,565 --> 00:20:48,190 You're about to fly. You might die. 487 00:20:48,273 --> 00:20:49,839 Your body knows you might die. 488 00:20:49,922 --> 00:20:51,428 It's like going off to war. 489 00:20:51,672 --> 00:20:53,483 You need to get that sperm out. 490 00:20:54,397 --> 00:20:55,613 Propagate the species. 491 00:20:55,696 --> 00:20:57,152 Just like right before this trip. 492 00:21:00,391 --> 00:21:02,437 ♪ I'm gonna do my one line here ♪ 493 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,922 Oh, yeah. 494 00:21:07,981 --> 00:21:10,898 Comfort of the fiery wingses... 495 00:21:10,981 --> 00:21:13,898 Sss-Mephistopheles. 496 00:21:17,226 --> 00:21:19,226 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com 497 00:21:19,310 --> 00:21:21,011 Resync WEB-DL by LeRalouf 34782

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