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1
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,880
When did I last clean behind there?
2
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,920
Oh!
3
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,200
Bugger.
4
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:18,240
Sorry, Ted.
5
00:01:46,156 --> 00:01:48,156
Sod the housework.
6
00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:52,716
I thought we'd dump the kids off
at my mum's and make a day of it.
7
00:01:52,716 --> 00:01:54,956
We haven't been to Ikea for a while.
8
00:01:54,956 --> 00:01:56,596
We could have meatballs and chips?
9
00:01:56,596 --> 00:01:59,836
As always. Or maybe see
if they fancy a sleepover
10
00:01:59,836 --> 00:02:01,356
and we could have a night out.
11
00:02:01,356 --> 00:02:04,516
Mm. Your Mum would love that!
12
00:02:04,516 --> 00:02:08,236
I'm just, erm, trying to get...
13
00:02:08,236 --> 00:02:11,076
You're not diddly-fiddling
with your photos, are you?
14
00:02:11,076 --> 00:02:13,156
Have I lost you for the weekend now?
15
00:02:13,156 --> 00:02:16,116
I'm just getting these pictures
from the park nice.
16
00:02:16,116 --> 00:02:20,276
Hey, look at this new thing
I've got - the healing brush.
17
00:02:20,276 --> 00:02:22,676
Gets rid of lines and wrinkles.
18
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:25,276
Who the hell's that? Your mum.
19
00:02:25,276 --> 00:02:26,676
She looks like a foetus.
20
00:02:30,476 --> 00:02:31,996
Yeah, maybe.
21
00:02:31,996 --> 00:02:34,876
I tell you what, why don't you
drop the kids off,
22
00:02:34,876 --> 00:02:38,356
then pick me up on the way back
through? I'll be five minutes.
23
00:02:38,356 --> 00:02:42,156
Come on, kids, we're going out.
24
00:02:42,156 --> 00:02:44,476
Liam, will you put some clothes on,
please?
25
00:02:44,476 --> 00:02:46,876
I've seen enough
of your willy for one day!
26
00:02:54,876 --> 00:02:58,036
What are you playing at? Did you
order a cooked breakfast for one?
27
00:02:58,036 --> 00:02:59,916
No. What's going on?
28
00:02:59,916 --> 00:03:02,156
Full English with all the trimmings.
29
00:03:02,156 --> 00:03:05,916
Bacon, egg, beans... Well, spaghetti
hoops, there were no beans.
30
00:03:05,916 --> 00:03:08,756
Tea and toast. Newspaper, ironed.
31
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:11,116
Have you got something to tell me?
32
00:03:11,116 --> 00:03:12,516
Are the police here?
33
00:03:12,516 --> 00:03:15,196
I just wanted to do
something nice for you.
34
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:17,836
And...?
Look, I know it's surprising.
35
00:03:17,836 --> 00:03:22,436
I thought, let's just have
a nice day. Just the two of us.
36
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:25,116
Pfft! What about Snitch and Snatch?
37
00:03:25,116 --> 00:03:26,716
They're off making bombs somewhere.
38
00:03:26,716 --> 00:03:29,716
And where does your mum and Paula
and the von Trapps fit into this?
39
00:03:29,716 --> 00:03:32,356
They don't. This is just about us.
40
00:03:32,356 --> 00:03:34,236
Could be nice.
41
00:03:34,236 --> 00:03:36,836
Mm-hmm. Unusual.
42
00:03:38,756 --> 00:03:41,516
How long before the arsenic
kicks in?
43
00:03:42,916 --> 00:03:46,636
Does Nan know she's looking after us
all day? And night.
44
00:03:46,636 --> 00:03:49,876
Not yet. But she said she'd be in.
45
00:03:49,876 --> 00:03:51,156
She'll be made up.
46
00:03:55,556 --> 00:03:56,876
Coo-ee!
47
00:03:58,676 --> 00:03:59,716
Hiya, Nan!
48
00:04:01,156 --> 00:04:03,716
Oh, she's not here.
49
00:04:06,876 --> 00:04:08,276
Where's Nan?
50
00:04:08,276 --> 00:04:11,316
Have you tried upstairs?
Maybe she's playing hide and seek.
51
00:04:11,316 --> 00:04:14,236
Nan?! Coming, ready or not!
52
00:04:14,236 --> 00:04:15,916
Nan?!
53
00:04:15,916 --> 00:04:17,516
Nan?!
54
00:04:17,516 --> 00:04:19,756
She's hidden well.
55
00:04:24,076 --> 00:04:25,796
Mum?
56
00:04:27,556 --> 00:04:29,356
Aww!
57
00:04:34,996 --> 00:04:36,396
Nan?!
58
00:04:37,876 --> 00:04:39,316
Where is she?
59
00:04:39,316 --> 00:04:41,436
No sign of her, Mum.
60
00:04:41,436 --> 00:04:43,396
Did you do this? No.
61
00:04:43,396 --> 00:04:46,036
She wouldn't go out
leaving it like this.
62
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,196
Mother?!
63
00:04:48,196 --> 00:04:49,276
Nan?
64
00:04:49,276 --> 00:04:52,356
It looks like she left in a hurry.
Or maybe she was disturbed and...
65
00:04:52,356 --> 00:04:53,836
Jack!
66
00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:55,636
Has Nana been abducted?
67
00:04:55,636 --> 00:04:58,196
No. Where did you
hear about abductions?
68
00:04:58,196 --> 00:04:59,676
I saw it on Spooks.
69
00:04:59,676 --> 00:05:02,316
Yeah, well,
you shouldn't be watching that.
70
00:05:02,316 --> 00:05:04,236
It scares the living daylights
out of me.
71
00:05:04,236 --> 00:05:05,836
Why is the holiday album out?
72
00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:07,916
She said she'd be in all day.
73
00:05:07,916 --> 00:05:09,876
And the back door was unlocked.
74
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,436
That's not like her.
75
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,876
Where is she?
76
00:05:40,756 --> 00:05:42,476
Now, what did I say about mobiles?
77
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,516
Whoever's it is, turn it off.
78
00:05:44,516 --> 00:05:46,916
It's not mine. Mine's on silent.
79
00:05:49,196 --> 00:05:51,076
I think it's you, lady.
80
00:05:51,076 --> 00:05:53,396
No, it can't be.
81
00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:54,636
Is it?
82
00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:58,796
Oh, it is. I'm so sorry.
83
00:05:58,796 --> 00:06:02,356
My grandkids have changed
the ringtone AGAIN.
84
00:06:02,356 --> 00:06:05,636
Sorry. I'll put it on silent now.
Sorry, sorry.
85
00:06:05,636 --> 00:06:07,756
Oh, line went dead. Got cut off.
86
00:06:07,756 --> 00:06:10,276
She's been kidnapped. It's al-Qaeda.
87
00:06:10,276 --> 00:06:12,436
Phone her back. Phone her back!
88
00:06:14,756 --> 00:06:18,036
Now it's just ringing. Answerphone.
89
00:06:18,036 --> 00:06:20,356
Mother, it's me. We're at yours.
90
00:06:20,356 --> 00:06:21,796
Where are you?
91
00:06:21,796 --> 00:06:24,916
The back door was open, your stuff's
all over the place, like you've...
92
00:06:24,916 --> 00:06:28,476
Have you been abducted by aliens?
93
00:06:28,476 --> 00:06:30,796
Aliens?! Just joking.
94
00:06:30,796 --> 00:06:34,236
Erm, you're probably down the shops.
Anyway, could you give us a call?
95
00:06:34,236 --> 00:06:36,116
OK, ta-ra.
96
00:06:37,956 --> 00:06:39,436
Will we ever see her again?
97
00:06:39,436 --> 00:06:43,396
Of course we will.
She'll have just popped out.
98
00:06:43,396 --> 00:06:45,516
I'm going to put on CBeebies for you.
99
00:06:45,516 --> 00:06:48,236
Can't we have something else on?
It's for kids, that.
100
00:06:48,236 --> 00:06:50,476
You are kids.
101
00:06:53,716 --> 00:06:56,836
Come on, you just have to trust me.
102
00:06:56,836 --> 00:06:59,876
Are me Mum and Dad
doing kinky stuff?
103
00:06:59,876 --> 00:07:02,076
As if! More like blind man's buff.
104
00:07:02,076 --> 00:07:04,716
Now, you wait there.
105
00:07:08,276 --> 00:07:10,636
Right, take it off.
106
00:07:10,636 --> 00:07:12,556
Ta-da!
107
00:07:12,556 --> 00:07:14,036
Oh.
108
00:07:14,036 --> 00:07:16,516
I thought you might have bought me
a new bathroom suite
109
00:07:16,516 --> 00:07:19,516
and secretly decorated it for me.
I hate this bathroom!
110
00:07:19,516 --> 00:07:22,956
I've got your favourite bubble bath
and everything. "Hello Vera".
111
00:07:22,956 --> 00:07:25,076
I thought we could both get in.
112
00:07:25,076 --> 00:07:27,196
Don't be so ridiculous.
113
00:07:30,196 --> 00:07:32,596
Oh, it's only our Paula.
Right on cue!
114
00:07:32,596 --> 00:07:35,716
I was just about to say
you could have the taps.
115
00:07:43,356 --> 00:07:45,356
You might as well answer it.
116
00:07:45,356 --> 00:07:46,956
It might be important.
117
00:07:46,956 --> 00:07:49,316
Hiya. You all right?
118
00:07:49,316 --> 00:07:51,756
No, I didn't just try
and cut you off!
119
00:07:51,756 --> 00:07:53,716
I went to answer
and pressed the wrong button.
120
00:07:53,716 --> 00:07:56,556
Your family interrupting
our lovemaking, as usual!
121
00:07:56,556 --> 00:07:58,636
No, me Mum's not here.
Not so loud, eh?
122
00:07:58,636 --> 00:08:01,676
No, she wouldn't leave the door
wide open. OK.
123
00:08:01,676 --> 00:08:04,356
OK. Yeah.
124
00:08:04,356 --> 00:08:06,076
Ta-ra.
125
00:08:06,076 --> 00:08:07,396
Me Mum's gone missing.
126
00:08:07,396 --> 00:08:09,196
Oh, here we go!
127
00:08:12,516 --> 00:08:17,276
'The light
from these stars set out on its journey billions of years ago.'
128
00:08:17,276 --> 00:08:19,396
Nearly as old as me!
129
00:08:21,276 --> 00:08:23,156
Midget Gem?
130
00:08:23,156 --> 00:08:26,156
Oh, thanks, love.
131
00:08:29,516 --> 00:08:31,676
The universe is so big.
132
00:08:34,076 --> 00:08:37,396
And we are so small.
133
00:08:43,636 --> 00:08:46,036
Why don't we track
and trace her phone?
134
00:08:46,036 --> 00:08:48,236
Has it got GPS on it? 'GPS?'
135
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:51,796
What do you reckon? She's got
the cheapest, crappiest phone.
136
00:08:51,796 --> 00:08:54,276
She got it free with the Persil.
'OK.'
137
00:08:54,276 --> 00:08:56,276
Well, I'm nearly done here.
138
00:08:56,276 --> 00:09:00,836
But I thought I'd pick out a nice
picture of all the family and get it framed for your mum.
139
00:09:00,836 --> 00:09:04,196
But there isn't one of everyone,
so I might have to Photoshop one.
140
00:09:04,196 --> 00:09:05,796
It'll take no time.
141
00:09:07,476 --> 00:09:11,156
OK, I'll see you later.
142
00:09:11,156 --> 00:09:13,676
Right, only a few to look through.
143
00:09:16,836 --> 00:09:18,876
Only 22,000.
144
00:09:18,876 --> 00:09:21,756
So the back door was wide open?
145
00:09:21,756 --> 00:09:23,556
Well, it was unlocked.
146
00:09:23,556 --> 00:09:27,676
Well, that's completely different.
You said it was wide open. Did I?
147
00:09:27,676 --> 00:09:31,116
Yeah, that's why I'm here.
She probably forgot to lock it. Have you called her?
148
00:09:31,116 --> 00:09:35,196
Yeah. One got cut off and now
it's just ringing out. But look!
149
00:09:37,396 --> 00:09:40,196
Oh. Maybe she just knocked it.
150
00:09:40,196 --> 00:09:43,276
Maybe someone's been through here,
looking for stuff to rob.
151
00:09:43,276 --> 00:09:44,716
Has anything been taken?
152
00:09:44,716 --> 00:09:47,716
I can't tell. Shall we have a look
to see if anything's not here?
153
00:09:47,716 --> 00:09:49,756
I've got a headache now.
154
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,836
'Front sitting room there,
it's got some nice floorboards,
155
00:10:05,836 --> 00:10:07,676
'an open fire, which is good to see.
156
00:10:07,676 --> 00:10:10,276
'Stairs into your bedrooms there.
157
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:13,396
'Through into the rear living room
area. Now, this is nice!'
158
00:10:13,396 --> 00:10:17,516
'And so our journey
comes to an end.'
159
00:10:26,836 --> 00:10:27,996
Hello.
160
00:10:27,996 --> 00:10:31,156
Hiya, Nan. We're in yours.
Where are you?
161
00:10:31,156 --> 00:10:35,356
I'm just worried because she's been
seeming a bit low lately.
162
00:10:35,356 --> 00:10:37,396
What do you think this could mean?
163
00:10:37,396 --> 00:10:39,796
I don't know.
What are you thinking, Miss Marple?
164
00:10:39,796 --> 00:10:42,436
Someone called Gus, and a number.
165
00:10:42,436 --> 00:10:46,236
Who's Gus? And what do you think
the number is? A pin number?
166
00:10:46,236 --> 00:10:47,676
Combination to a safe?
167
00:10:47,676 --> 00:10:51,276
You shouldn't have picked that up in
case they need to dust for prints. Do you think?
168
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,716
No, Of course not!
169
00:10:54,116 --> 00:10:57,516
It's "Gas", not "Gus".
170
00:10:57,516 --> 00:11:00,516
It's the gas meter. She's done
a meter reading, that's all.
171
00:11:00,516 --> 00:11:02,436
Oh-h!
172
00:11:02,436 --> 00:11:03,716
Have you had enough sleep?
173
00:11:03,716 --> 00:11:06,796
Liam got up at half-past five,
Jack at six.
174
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,916
It'll be my bedtime soon.
175
00:11:08,916 --> 00:11:11,236
Yeah, well, this is supposed
to be my bathtime.
176
00:11:11,236 --> 00:11:13,876
She'll have gone to Sainsbury's
and forgot to lock the door.
177
00:11:13,876 --> 00:11:15,156
I'm off.
178
00:11:17,036 --> 00:11:20,556
Turn this off.
We're going to see Nan.
179
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:23,396
I was watching that!
It was Homes Under The Hammer.
180
00:11:23,396 --> 00:11:26,556
But we've got to go. I wanted to see
how much the bungalow goes for!
181
00:11:26,556 --> 00:11:28,996
The last thing I need
is you two fighting.
182
00:11:28,996 --> 00:11:31,156
I was only trying to help!
They built an extension!
183
00:11:31,156 --> 00:11:32,716
I want no more
out of the pair of you.
184
00:11:32,716 --> 00:11:36,596
But Homes Under The Hammer's me
favourite! I've just spoken to... Not another word. Zip it.
185
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,796
Fine. Your loss!
186
00:11:42,316 --> 00:11:44,076
Ah, that's better.
187
00:11:45,476 --> 00:11:50,916
Erm, Mum! Come here, quick!
188
00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:53,116
What is it? I'm in the bath.
189
00:11:53,116 --> 00:11:54,756
It's important!
190
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,756
Oh, it's always important when
I'm trying to get a minute's peace.
191
00:11:57,756 --> 00:11:59,956
Leave me alone! Mum, you've got
to come and see this.
192
00:11:59,956 --> 00:12:02,476
Can't I have a minute's peace?
193
00:12:02,476 --> 00:12:04,236
Can I smell burning?
194
00:12:04,236 --> 00:12:06,876
You see,
I told you it was important!
195
00:12:06,876 --> 00:12:08,396
The shed's on fire.
196
00:12:08,396 --> 00:12:09,836
You what?!
197
00:12:17,356 --> 00:12:20,916
Maybe she's in here somewhere.
It's worth a try.
198
00:12:20,916 --> 00:12:23,076
I can tell you now,
she won't be here.
199
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:26,556
Jack, what have I told you?
I want silence from now.
200
00:12:28,196 --> 00:12:31,876
And me dad's up here somewhere.
201
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:33,916
Is that her there?
202
00:12:33,916 --> 00:12:36,076
Mum! Mother!
203
00:12:36,076 --> 00:12:38,476
I'm not your mother, love.
204
00:12:38,476 --> 00:12:40,036
Sorry, I...
205
00:12:40,036 --> 00:12:42,836
Does your mother come here?
I'd know if she did.
206
00:12:42,836 --> 00:12:44,316
I'm here every day.
207
00:12:44,316 --> 00:12:47,596
From first thing in the morning,
till they shut the gates.
208
00:12:48,956 --> 00:12:51,076
It's what he would've wanted.
209
00:12:51,076 --> 00:12:52,796
It's my Alfie's birthday today.
210
00:12:52,796 --> 00:12:55,956
Oh? 63, he is, or would've been.
211
00:12:55,956 --> 00:12:58,276
Always had a toddy on his birthday.
212
00:12:58,276 --> 00:13:02,436
One for him, one for me.
213
00:13:02,436 --> 00:13:03,956
Do you want a drop?
214
00:13:03,956 --> 00:13:05,716
No, thanks.
215
00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,316
To Alfie.
216
00:13:08,316 --> 00:13:10,716
Happy birthday.
217
00:13:10,716 --> 00:13:12,156
Come on, kids.
218
00:13:13,676 --> 00:13:17,676
? Happy birthday to you... ?
219
00:13:17,676 --> 00:13:21,636
? Happy birthday to you
220
00:13:21,636 --> 00:13:23,836
? Happy birthday...
221
00:13:23,836 --> 00:13:26,196
? Dear Alfie... ?
I was enjoying that!
222
00:13:27,276 --> 00:13:32,876
? Happy birthday to yo-o-o-ou! ?
223
00:13:35,276 --> 00:13:37,076
Ah! It's my mother.
224
00:13:37,076 --> 00:13:38,676
At last!
225
00:13:40,396 --> 00:13:42,676
Mum?
226
00:13:42,676 --> 00:13:44,596
Hello?
227
00:13:44,596 --> 00:13:46,676
Can you hear me?
228
00:13:46,676 --> 00:13:48,076
She's not speaking.
229
00:13:48,076 --> 00:13:51,836
Maybe she's in trouble
and trying to secretly ring us!
230
00:13:51,836 --> 00:13:53,076
Mother?
231
00:13:55,036 --> 00:13:57,556
I can hear her.
She's saying something ...
232
00:13:57,556 --> 00:14:00,996
What? I can't make it out. Wait.
233
00:14:00,996 --> 00:14:04,236
She's telling someone...
234
00:14:04,236 --> 00:14:05,996
a recipe for flapjacks.
235
00:14:05,996 --> 00:14:07,636
She's phoned me from her bag again.
236
00:14:07,636 --> 00:14:09,196
She's sat on her phone!
237
00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:10,436
Mother!
238
00:14:10,436 --> 00:14:12,676
'Can you hear us?
Where are you?'
239
00:14:12,676 --> 00:14:16,156
Dead easy to make. I had all
the stuff in, so I rustled them together last night.
240
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:19,316
Chucked them in me bag
in case I felt peckish.
241
00:14:21,956 --> 00:14:24,276
Would you like one of these?
Oh, go on. Yeah.
242
00:14:24,276 --> 00:14:26,836
'Mum! Mum!
243
00:14:26,836 --> 00:14:29,516
'Mother!' Is that a wasp?
244
00:14:29,516 --> 00:14:32,396
Where is she?
245
00:14:32,396 --> 00:14:35,556
Nan's at the World Museum
in Liverpool.
246
00:14:35,556 --> 00:14:36,916
How do you know?
247
00:14:36,916 --> 00:14:38,716
She told me she'd gone there.
248
00:14:38,716 --> 00:14:40,836
I called her from the house phone
in the hall.
249
00:14:40,836 --> 00:14:42,836
Well, why didn't you say something?
250
00:14:42,836 --> 00:14:46,636
I tried to, but you said I wasn't
allowed to say another word!
251
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,236
Come on!
252
00:15:11,236 --> 00:15:13,036
Hurry, or we'll miss it!
253
00:15:26,156 --> 00:15:29,476
Oh! That's a nice one of Eileen.
254
00:15:29,476 --> 00:15:31,236
I'll have that.
255
00:15:34,916 --> 00:15:36,356
Oh, that looks quite nice.
256
00:15:36,356 --> 00:15:37,676
They're nice, them.
257
00:15:37,676 --> 00:15:40,036
Oh, right!
258
00:15:40,036 --> 00:15:43,236
One of me favourites.
Lovely with a few peas on the side.
259
00:15:43,236 --> 00:15:45,076
You can't go wrong with peas. Yeah!
260
00:15:45,076 --> 00:15:48,596
Just pop, pop, pop, pop
in the microwave and you're done.
261
00:15:48,596 --> 00:15:50,956
I like to eat them out the packet.
262
00:15:50,956 --> 00:15:53,476
No cleaning.
You spend your life cleaning.
263
00:15:53,476 --> 00:15:55,716
Oh, yeah, tell me about it!
264
00:15:55,716 --> 00:15:58,716
Meals for one, eh?
265
00:15:58,716 --> 00:16:00,636
Eh?
266
00:16:02,316 --> 00:16:03,476
Well, yeah.
267
00:16:03,476 --> 00:16:05,236
Just you on your lonesome, is it?
268
00:16:05,236 --> 00:16:06,756
I wouldn't put it quite like that.
269
00:16:06,756 --> 00:16:08,716
Nothing to be ashamed of,
living alone.
270
00:16:08,716 --> 00:16:10,076
I'm not ashamed. It's just...
271
00:16:10,076 --> 00:16:11,876
It comes to us all. Well...
272
00:16:11,876 --> 00:16:15,716
You start out part of a big,
jolly family, surrounded by
273
00:16:15,716 --> 00:16:19,236
all these happy people,
and then they all disappear and die.
274
00:16:19,236 --> 00:16:23,156
Till it's just you,
the remote control,
275
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:27,116
a single bar on the fire,
meal for one.
276
00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:28,716
Crying yourself to sleep.
277
00:16:28,716 --> 00:16:30,836
Comes to us all.
278
00:16:33,636 --> 00:16:36,236
And I'll tell you something else -
279
00:16:36,236 --> 00:16:39,756
that's lovely with a sticky
toffee pudding for afters.
280
00:16:39,756 --> 00:16:41,076
Nice meeting you.
281
00:16:44,556 --> 00:16:46,556
Thanks for that!
282
00:16:51,916 --> 00:16:53,356
Sod that.
283
00:17:00,036 --> 00:17:02,556
How is them setting fire
to the shed my fault?
284
00:17:02,556 --> 00:17:05,476
If I hadn't have been in the bath,
I'd have known what they were up to!
285
00:17:05,476 --> 00:17:09,636
And if you hadn't been gallivanting
with the Addams Family, you'd have been here to stop 'em.
286
00:17:09,636 --> 00:17:11,436
Just so I know.
287
00:17:11,436 --> 00:17:14,076
Aren't you cold like that?
288
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:18,556
No. Luckily, I've had a burning
shed to keep me warm!
289
00:17:18,556 --> 00:17:20,516
Oh, here, look... Forget it.
290
00:17:22,116 --> 00:17:24,596
Shut up, you.
291
00:17:24,596 --> 00:17:27,716
Be careful with that, please.
I'll take them back to the shop!
292
00:17:31,556 --> 00:17:36,116
Mother! Thank God.
I've been ringing you all day.
293
00:17:36,116 --> 00:17:37,476
Where are you?
294
00:17:37,476 --> 00:17:39,596
I'm on the sofa, having a cuppa.
295
00:17:39,596 --> 00:17:41,676
You are joking?
296
00:17:41,676 --> 00:17:44,356
Where are you?
At the World Museum!
297
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:47,796
No! I was there earlier. I know!
298
00:17:47,796 --> 00:17:49,756
What a shame we missed each other.
299
00:17:49,756 --> 00:17:52,036
The reason we're here...
300
00:17:53,836 --> 00:17:55,356
I give up.
301
00:17:55,356 --> 00:17:58,156
Do you want to come round for
your teas? I'm doing a barbecue.
302
00:17:58,156 --> 00:18:00,956
I've got loads of sausages
and some burgers,
303
00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:03,116
so bring anything
you want to chuck on.
304
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:05,916
OK. See you in a bit. 'See you!'
305
00:18:07,996 --> 00:18:11,196
A barbecue.
In the middle of winter...
306
00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:14,276
Not smiling.
307
00:18:15,436 --> 00:18:16,716
Not smiling.
308
00:18:18,116 --> 00:18:19,356
Not smiling.
309
00:18:21,436 --> 00:18:24,596
There's got to be one.
310
00:18:47,116 --> 00:18:50,316
That's all that's left, I'm afraid.
Safe to go back in the house.
311
00:18:50,316 --> 00:18:52,116
How the hell did this happen?
312
00:18:52,116 --> 00:18:54,476
It was her fault. She made me do it.
313
00:18:54,476 --> 00:18:57,196
I only said I'd give you 50p
if you set something on fire!
314
00:18:57,196 --> 00:18:58,956
I was thinking more of a newspaper.
315
00:18:58,956 --> 00:19:00,876
And where's me 50p?
316
00:19:00,876 --> 00:19:02,756
Don't be a moron. You're the moron.
317
00:19:02,756 --> 00:19:06,516
Enough. You're both grounded.
Now go to your rooms.
318
00:19:06,516 --> 00:19:09,076
You hated that shed anyway.
It was full of crap.
319
00:19:09,076 --> 00:19:10,996
It'll save you a trip to the dump.
320
00:19:12,516 --> 00:19:14,876
It's me mum. Course it is!
321
00:19:14,876 --> 00:19:16,876
Hiya, Mum, are you all right?
322
00:19:18,956 --> 00:19:20,676
Have you been in here all day?
323
00:19:20,676 --> 00:19:24,316
It smells like a teenage boy's
bedroom. All boffs and BO!
324
00:19:24,316 --> 00:19:28,156
I've nearly done a photo of us
all together.
325
00:19:28,156 --> 00:19:31,036
I'm a bit shaky.
There's too much coffee.
326
00:19:31,036 --> 00:19:32,956
You look like a smackhead.
327
00:19:32,956 --> 00:19:35,356
Come on,
we're going to me mum's for tea.
328
00:19:35,356 --> 00:19:37,636
You found her, then? Not really.
329
00:19:37,636 --> 00:19:42,196
The main problem was Mandy.
There aren't any of her smiling.
330
00:19:42,196 --> 00:19:43,516
Oh, there's a surprise!
331
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,316
I did find one eventually, though.
332
00:19:45,316 --> 00:19:49,636
So I've morphed her smiling head
onto this photo with everyone else.
333
00:19:49,636 --> 00:19:51,036
What do you think?
334
00:19:52,876 --> 00:19:54,436
I think you need some fresh air.
335
00:19:54,436 --> 00:19:57,436
No, no, no, I haven't finished yet.
Don't judge me on that!
336
00:19:57,436 --> 00:20:00,876
You've lost the plot. Why has
Mandy got a white cowboy hat on?
337
00:20:00,876 --> 00:20:04,476
The only photo of Mandy smiling
is from that fancy dress party
338
00:20:04,476 --> 00:20:06,596
she went to years ago
as Dolly Parton.
339
00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:09,516
Hey, what are you doing...?!
Get dressed!
340
00:20:33,596 --> 00:20:35,396
Me mum's fine,
you'll be glad to know.
341
00:20:35,396 --> 00:20:37,836
Panic over.
She's invited us for tea.
342
00:20:37,836 --> 00:20:39,276
And before you say anything,
343
00:20:39,276 --> 00:20:41,756
it'll save you getting reacquainted
with the microwave.
344
00:20:41,756 --> 00:20:45,036
Ah, sound!
Mum's cooking tastes like puke.
345
00:20:45,036 --> 00:20:46,596
And not even fresh puke.
346
00:20:46,596 --> 00:20:49,156
You two are meant to be
under house arrest.
347
00:20:49,156 --> 00:20:51,876
Go on then. I can't be arsed seeing
what's in me chest freezers.
348
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:54,476
I need to get away from the
smell of smoke. What are we having?
349
00:20:54,476 --> 00:20:56,716
Barbecue. Oh, great!
350
00:20:58,756 --> 00:21:00,596
Wow!
351
00:21:00,596 --> 00:21:03,916
Found you at last!
No thanks to this lot.
352
00:21:03,916 --> 00:21:06,076
It's all magic-ness.
353
00:21:06,076 --> 00:21:07,836
Oh, thank you!
354
00:21:07,836 --> 00:21:10,676
I thought we'd have
a winter stars and moon party.
355
00:21:10,676 --> 00:21:13,756
Really? Got you some sausages.
356
00:21:13,756 --> 00:21:15,196
Oh, thank you.
357
00:21:15,196 --> 00:21:18,516
I bought a telescope from Argos
so we can look at the stars.
358
00:21:18,516 --> 00:21:21,996
There's an app you can get
where you hold your phone up
359
00:21:21,996 --> 00:21:24,076
and the GPS tells you where
all the stars are.
360
00:21:24,076 --> 00:21:26,156
See, if you got one of these,
Eileen...
361
00:21:26,156 --> 00:21:28,956
Let's just make do with the
telescope tonight. But thanks, Ray.
362
00:21:28,956 --> 00:21:30,996
What stars can you see, kids?
363
00:21:30,996 --> 00:21:33,876
None. It's all cloudy.
364
00:21:33,876 --> 00:21:37,156
Oh, never mind! Your dad will fix
that with his iPhone.
365
00:21:37,156 --> 00:21:38,436
We're here!
366
00:21:38,436 --> 00:21:40,876
Let's get this party started.
367
00:21:40,876 --> 00:21:42,916
Oh, lovely red flames!
368
00:21:42,916 --> 00:21:44,596
It needs a bit more coal.
369
00:21:44,596 --> 00:21:46,996
We've had enough of that
for one day, firestarter.
370
00:21:46,996 --> 00:21:50,276
Here you are. Mandy's got tons of
them. Gets them cheap from work.
371
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:52,556
It's the only perk
of working at Iceland.
372
00:21:52,556 --> 00:21:55,636
I've got some fresh food here,
if anyone fancies it.
373
00:21:55,636 --> 00:21:57,636
You're only going to set fire to it.
374
00:21:57,636 --> 00:22:00,996
I don't like the smoke.
Has anyone got a gas mask?
375
00:22:09,076 --> 00:22:12,436
Aren't you coming out?
It's freezing out there.
376
00:22:12,436 --> 00:22:14,276
What do you think all this is about?
377
00:22:14,276 --> 00:22:16,876
She's just enjoying herself.
I think it's great.
378
00:22:16,876 --> 00:22:18,396
I love a barbie any time of year.
379
00:22:18,396 --> 00:22:20,836
Do you think she's all right?
Healthy?
380
00:22:20,836 --> 00:22:22,356
What do you mean?
381
00:22:22,356 --> 00:22:25,356
You hear of parents acting strangely
when they get older
382
00:22:25,356 --> 00:22:29,276
and it's turns out it's
the beginning of, you know ...
383
00:22:29,276 --> 00:22:30,756
Shall we ask her?
384
00:22:30,756 --> 00:22:32,716
"Hey, Mum,
are you going fruit-loop?"
385
00:22:32,716 --> 00:22:34,116
I'm just concerned.
386
00:22:34,116 --> 00:22:36,116
She has lost her husband, you know.
387
00:22:36,116 --> 00:22:37,996
We can allow her to be
a bit off-kilter.
388
00:22:37,996 --> 00:22:40,756
I know it's early days,
but what will people think?
389
00:22:40,756 --> 00:22:43,596
Who cares what people think,
as long as she's happy.
390
00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:46,836
Where's the ketchup? I don't know
what my dad would have made of this.
391
00:22:46,836 --> 00:22:49,076
It's exactly the sort of thing
he'd have done.
392
00:22:49,076 --> 00:22:50,876
He loved a burnt banger.
393
00:22:50,876 --> 00:22:53,676
In August, maybe!
394
00:22:53,676 --> 00:22:55,196
Here you are, boys.
395
00:22:55,196 --> 00:22:58,116
My Very Energetic Mother
Just Served Us Noodles.
396
00:22:59,476 --> 00:23:00,836
You've lost me now.
397
00:23:00,836 --> 00:23:02,836
It's how you learn all the planets.
398
00:23:02,836 --> 00:23:07,116
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars,
Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune.
399
00:23:07,116 --> 00:23:09,396
Isn't that clever?
400
00:23:09,396 --> 00:23:10,756
Where's Pluto?
401
00:23:10,756 --> 00:23:14,356
Pluto's a moon, not a planet.
There's Pluto here. Of course he is.
402
00:23:14,356 --> 00:23:16,636
Oh, I better get that.
403
00:23:16,636 --> 00:23:18,636
It's going to be burnt to buggery!
404
00:23:20,676 --> 00:23:22,156
Here you are, Mum.
405
00:23:22,156 --> 00:23:24,476
Oh, thanks, love.
406
00:23:24,476 --> 00:23:26,436
Where did you get them?
407
00:23:26,436 --> 00:23:28,556
Upstairs in the drawer.
They were mine.
408
00:23:28,556 --> 00:23:31,876
30 years ago. Suits you.
409
00:23:31,876 --> 00:23:33,156
Melissa...
410
00:23:33,156 --> 00:23:37,156
I didn't quite understand
why you went to the museum today.
411
00:23:37,156 --> 00:23:38,636
I just felt like it.
412
00:23:38,636 --> 00:23:42,956
We were just worried,
the way stuff was left. The mess.
413
00:23:42,956 --> 00:23:45,156
And the back door was unlocked.
414
00:23:45,156 --> 00:23:47,396
Oh, was it?
Well, there's nothing to rob.
415
00:23:47,396 --> 00:23:50,236
My Dad's picture all smashed.
416
00:23:50,236 --> 00:23:52,516
Oh, I know.
It fell when I moved the cupboard.
417
00:23:52,516 --> 00:23:54,996
But I've got a new one now.
It's much better.
418
00:23:54,996 --> 00:23:57,316
And then I came across
the holiday photos.
419
00:23:57,316 --> 00:23:58,996
Took me right back.
420
00:23:58,996 --> 00:24:00,676
That was ages ago.
421
00:24:00,676 --> 00:24:03,476
I know. Some wonderful
ones of the Northern Lights.
422
00:24:03,476 --> 00:24:05,796
So, I thought, sod it.
423
00:24:05,796 --> 00:24:09,036
I left everything
and went to look at more stars.
424
00:24:09,036 --> 00:24:12,436
Even went up the cemetery
to look for you.
425
00:24:13,436 --> 00:24:15,516
Really?
426
00:24:15,516 --> 00:24:17,076
Is that where you think I should be?
427
00:24:17,076 --> 00:24:19,516
No!
428
00:24:19,516 --> 00:24:22,276
But some people go there a lot.
429
00:24:22,276 --> 00:24:24,116
You hardly go, do you?
430
00:24:26,596 --> 00:24:29,476
I just thought you might have...
431
00:24:31,636 --> 00:24:33,116
I don't know.
432
00:24:33,116 --> 00:24:36,556
Your dad wouldn't want me
sitting up there all day long.
433
00:24:36,556 --> 00:24:40,356
The last thing he'd want is me
moping about and missing him.
434
00:24:40,356 --> 00:24:43,116
And I do miss him.
435
00:24:43,116 --> 00:24:48,116
But I just want to try
and live my life.
436
00:24:49,316 --> 00:24:51,196
Well, that's me told.
437
00:24:52,716 --> 00:24:57,196
I can't sit in the corner
wearing black like me Nin did
438
00:24:57,196 --> 00:25:00,316
when me Granddad died,
and wait for the end.
439
00:25:01,676 --> 00:25:05,356
I don't know what's going to happen,
and I am scared...
440
00:25:06,916 --> 00:25:10,116
..but I'm excited.
441
00:25:10,116 --> 00:25:12,876
Sorry, Mum.
442
00:25:14,636 --> 00:25:16,076
You'll be all right.
443
00:25:16,076 --> 00:25:17,756
I can see something!
444
00:25:17,756 --> 00:25:20,156
Oh, can you see the stars now?
445
00:25:20,156 --> 00:25:22,316
I can see a funny-looking man
watching us.
446
00:25:22,316 --> 00:25:25,876
Oh, that's weird Steve next door.
Give him a wave, kids.
447
00:25:25,876 --> 00:25:28,476
Hello!
448
00:25:28,476 --> 00:25:32,396
Hey, we've got everyone here.
Why don't I do a photo now?
449
00:25:32,396 --> 00:25:34,036
Oh, leave it, Ray!
450
00:25:34,036 --> 00:25:35,396
What are you talking about?
451
00:25:35,396 --> 00:25:38,756
I was going through me photos
on me computer. All 40,000 of them.
452
00:25:38,756 --> 00:25:41,036
And there isn't one
of us all together.
453
00:25:41,036 --> 00:25:43,436
Can you believe that? No.
I did Photoshop one...
454
00:25:43,436 --> 00:25:45,276
Which was crap!
455
00:25:45,276 --> 00:25:48,356
That's because you wouldn't let me
finish it off! I wasn't finished!
456
00:25:48,356 --> 00:25:50,956
So why don't I take one now?
457
00:25:50,956 --> 00:25:52,476
Can we? Can we?
458
00:25:52,476 --> 00:25:55,236
Well, yeah, why not? All right, OK.
459
00:25:55,236 --> 00:25:57,036
Everyone, get in a line.
460
00:25:57,036 --> 00:26:00,916
I'll balance it on a wheelie bin
and then run into shot.
461
00:26:00,916 --> 00:26:05,316
Oh, get the brown one,
the garden waste. It's the biggest.
462
00:26:05,316 --> 00:26:08,076
Right, kids in front.
You in the middle, Mum. OK.
463
00:26:15,716 --> 00:26:18,076
Ethan!
Well, get off me foot!
464
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:21,756
I'm not on your foot, you imbecile.
Do you even know what that means?
465
00:26:21,756 --> 00:26:22,996
Yeah, it's you!
466
00:26:22,996 --> 00:26:25,476
Do I have to split youse two up?
Can we just get on with it?
467
00:26:25,476 --> 00:26:26,796
Right, smile.
468
00:26:26,796 --> 00:26:28,956
That's good, everyone.
469
00:26:28,956 --> 00:26:31,356
Liam, take your hands
from over your eyes.
470
00:26:31,356 --> 00:26:33,956
I don't like the flash.
It can blind me for life.
471
00:26:33,956 --> 00:26:35,796
Don't be daft!
472
00:26:35,796 --> 00:26:38,636
This is nice, us all together. Aw!
473
00:26:38,636 --> 00:26:41,476
You're not getting
all emotional, are you?
474
00:26:41,476 --> 00:26:43,796
No! It's that burger
repeating on me.
475
00:26:43,796 --> 00:26:46,396
They were cooked through. I checked.
Mine was burnt.
476
00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:48,436
It's me own fault.
I ate it too quickly.
477
00:26:48,436 --> 00:26:51,636
All right, here we go.
478
00:26:51,636 --> 00:26:52,796
Come on.
479
00:27:04,596 --> 00:27:07,276
Have you done it right?
Yeah, keep smiling.
480
00:27:08,556 --> 00:27:10,036
Oh, for crying out loud!
481
00:27:10,036 --> 00:27:12,556
I can't keep this rictus grin.
482
00:27:12,556 --> 00:27:13,916
It's going to go.
483
00:27:15,556 --> 00:27:18,156
Oh, would you look at that?
484
00:27:20,356 --> 00:27:22,236
Oh!
485
00:27:25,956 --> 00:27:28,116
Maybe it's not...
486
00:28:16,841 --> 00:28:21,391
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