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1
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- Subs by kinglouisxx -
for www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:03,952 --> 00:00:05,476
Make room on the couch.
3
00:00:05,555 --> 00:00:08,212
Grandpa! You got us a dog?!
4
00:00:08,292 --> 00:00:09,956
Oh, my God, finally!
5
00:00:09,994 --> 00:00:11,715
Something I can love around here!
6
00:00:11,795 --> 00:00:14,139
- What's with all the squealing?
- Oh!
7
00:00:14,164 --> 00:00:15,518
This is Lollipop,
8
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:17,555
and someone dropped him off
at Neville's clinic.
9
00:00:17,635 --> 00:00:19,489
He needs a foster family
10
00:00:19,569 --> 00:00:21,492
until they can find him
a permanent home,
11
00:00:21,572 --> 00:00:24,361
and I said, "Hold on,
we're technically a family."
12
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:28,032
Well, I think it's great that
we're fostering a senior dog,
13
00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:30,867
and while we have him,
Beverly Rose and I can take him
14
00:00:30,947 --> 00:00:33,838
out on long, slow walks
in the cool night air.
15
00:00:33,918 --> 00:00:37,040
He's 11, and he can't walk
because of seizures,
16
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,274
but you can be the one that carries him
17
00:00:38,354 --> 00:00:39,543
in and out to do his business.
18
00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:41,592
Mary, you have a doggie!
19
00:00:44,262 --> 00:00:47,150
Since when are you the
patron saint of abandoned dogs?
20
00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:49,753
Since Neville's clinic
pays 100 bucks a week
21
00:00:49,833 --> 00:00:51,222
to foster animals.
22
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:53,057
I need the money to pay the mortgage.
23
00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:56,027
Hoarding old dogs is a solid plan...
24
00:00:56,107 --> 00:00:57,961
or you could just apologize to Ben
25
00:00:58,041 --> 00:00:59,763
and go back to work
at the hardware store.
26
00:00:59,843 --> 00:01:01,332
Apologize for what?
27
00:01:01,412 --> 00:01:05,168
Asking for 25% of a business
where I do 70% of the work?
28
00:01:05,248 --> 00:01:08,338
You need this job, and I want
my boyfriend to come home.
29
00:01:08,418 --> 00:01:10,941
I got enough stress in my life
without worrying about
30
00:01:11,021 --> 00:01:12,843
what this is doing to our relationship.
31
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I hear what you're saying.
32
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There's not a lot of people
who will tolerate you,
33
00:01:16,759 --> 00:01:19,196
and you don't want to
jeopardize your last shot.
34
00:01:20,831 --> 00:01:22,453
Not only was I not saying that,
35
00:01:22,533 --> 00:01:24,989
I'm not too happy
that you were saying it.
36
00:01:25,069 --> 00:01:26,423
Okay.
37
00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,325
I don't want to make things
harder on you.
38
00:01:28,405 --> 00:01:30,494
I'm not going back in...
39
00:01:30,574 --> 00:01:32,328
but he can still live here.
40
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Thank you.
41
00:01:34,578 --> 00:01:37,402
And until you're working again,
42
00:01:37,482 --> 00:01:40,137
maybe Becky and I can chip in
a little extra money this month.
43
00:01:40,217 --> 00:01:43,474
Hey! Stay out of my pockets.
44
00:01:43,554 --> 00:01:45,176
I'm using the money
from my double shifts
45
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to pay for some business classes
at the community college.
46
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:49,647
Wait, you're going back to school?
47
00:01:49,727 --> 00:01:51,182
That's great!
48
00:01:51,262 --> 00:01:52,983
Congratulations, honey.
49
00:01:53,063 --> 00:01:55,385
I figure if I'm ever
gonna get out of factory work,
50
00:01:55,465 --> 00:01:56,754
I'm gonna need a degree.
51
00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:58,054
Does it have something to do
52
00:01:58,134 --> 00:02:00,123
with you pretending to be
successful the other night?
53
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:01,492
Yeah.
54
00:02:01,572 --> 00:02:03,060
When I was having dinner with Mikey,
55
00:02:03,140 --> 00:02:05,962
I was so impressed
by the me I made up for him,
56
00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:07,878
I want to be just like her.
57
00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:14,409
3x15 - An Old Dog, New Tricks
And A Ticket To Ride
58
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,807
Well, I set him down,
he bumped into a tree,
59
00:02:49,887 --> 00:02:52,743
did his business, and fell asleep in it.
60
00:02:52,823 --> 00:02:54,278
Good thing the dog is blind,
61
00:02:54,358 --> 00:02:57,781
so he can't see the looks
of pity from the chickens.
62
00:02:57,861 --> 00:03:00,249
You might want to put a sign
on that box.
63
00:03:00,329 --> 00:03:02,386
"Dog. Do not throw away."
64
00:03:03,466 --> 00:03:06,422
Hey, downer!
65
00:03:06,502 --> 00:03:10,027
Wow. You're awfully chipper for
someone who worked all night.
66
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,328
I don't know how you're doing it.
67
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:14,130
I got a goal...
and so much caffeine in me
68
00:03:14,210 --> 00:03:17,334
that I got out at
the last stoplight and danced.
69
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:19,554
A UPS guy got out and danced with me,
70
00:03:19,587 --> 00:03:21,710
but then it got weird and I came home.
71
00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:23,222
You're out of your mind.
72
00:03:23,302 --> 00:03:24,857
You know, you gotta sleep,
at some point.
73
00:03:24,937 --> 00:03:27,325
I'm going to.
74
00:03:27,405 --> 00:03:28,693
But first, I gotta do some stuff
75
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,697
for when Emilio brings
Beverly Rose over tonight.
76
00:03:31,777 --> 00:03:36,133
I have a big girls' night
planned for just the two of us.
77
00:03:36,213 --> 00:03:38,168
I've been working
so much these past few weeks,
78
00:03:38,248 --> 00:03:39,805
I barely see her.
79
00:03:39,885 --> 00:03:41,539
Ah, I'm sure she's fine.
80
00:03:41,619 --> 00:03:43,208
Babies can't tell time.
81
00:03:43,288 --> 00:03:46,043
It's either a quarter to hungry
or 30 minutes past hungry.
82
00:03:46,123 --> 00:03:48,312
They're actually pretty stupid.
83
00:03:48,392 --> 00:03:51,250
We're gonna do all the things she loves.
84
00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:53,785
I'm gonna warm her up
with "Tickle Monster,"
85
00:03:53,865 --> 00:03:56,822
and then I'm gonna read her
"The Very Hungry Caterpillar."
86
00:03:56,902 --> 00:03:59,924
I play all the parts.
It's pretty compelling.
87
00:04:00,004 --> 00:04:01,859
Yeah, I've seen your caterpillar.
88
00:04:01,939 --> 00:04:03,274
I wasn't transported.
89
00:04:05,309 --> 00:04:07,365
So, I called you over here...
90
00:04:07,445 --> 00:04:09,501
...because I have got some good news.
91
00:04:09,581 --> 00:04:11,936
- Oh.
- You don't have to live like a drifter
92
00:04:12,016 --> 00:04:13,537
in the back of
the hardware store anymore.
93
00:04:13,617 --> 00:04:15,974
My dad said it's okay
for you to move back in.
94
00:04:16,054 --> 00:04:18,410
So let's go grab your stuff.
95
00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:22,715
Darlene, I am not moving back
into your childhood bedroom.
96
00:04:22,795 --> 00:04:24,083
Oh, come on.
97
00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:26,251
And I-I'll let you take down
my Alice in Chains poster
98
00:04:26,331 --> 00:04:28,200
and put up some of
your Grateful Dead nonsense.
99
00:04:29,802 --> 00:04:32,157
First of all, it's not nonsense.
100
00:04:32,237 --> 00:04:35,594
You're just too uptight
to understand them.
101
00:04:35,674 --> 00:04:38,395
And this isn't about
your dad kicking me out anymore.
102
00:04:38,475 --> 00:04:42,934
This is about you choosing me
for once over your family.
103
00:04:43,014 --> 00:04:44,635
But my dad backed down.
104
00:04:44,715 --> 00:04:46,671
He's not making me choose
between you and him.
105
00:04:46,751 --> 00:04:48,474
Why do you have to?
106
00:04:48,554 --> 00:04:51,075
Look, can't we just go back
to the way things were
107
00:04:51,155 --> 00:04:52,210
until we figure things out?
108
00:04:52,290 --> 00:04:53,845
No. No.
109
00:04:53,925 --> 00:04:56,280
Look, if we are ever
going to live together again,
110
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,264
it has gotta be in our own place.
111
00:04:59,631 --> 00:05:00,852
But I miss you.
112
00:05:00,932 --> 00:05:03,735
Well, look, I miss you, too.
113
00:05:05,403 --> 00:05:08,307
Just don't make me
miss you for too long.
114
00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:15,165
I am sorry... it's just that saying
115
00:05:15,245 --> 00:05:17,268
the screw is as big as your thumb...
116
00:05:17,348 --> 00:05:19,837
doesn't really help me out.
117
00:05:19,917 --> 00:05:21,472
Thanks.
118
00:05:21,497 --> 00:05:23,787
Hey, Jackie.
119
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,087
You look swamped.
120
00:05:25,167 --> 00:05:26,256
Yeah.
121
00:05:26,336 --> 00:05:28,157
I'm a little short-handed
since Dan quit.
122
00:05:29,571 --> 00:05:31,260
So, what can I do for you?
123
00:05:31,340 --> 00:05:34,897
Well, I'm looking for red light bulbs.
124
00:05:34,977 --> 00:05:36,633
I didn't know you were into photography.
125
00:05:36,713 --> 00:05:37,933
Is this for a darkroom?
126
00:05:38,013 --> 00:05:41,638
No, actually, uh,
Neville is kind of a prude,
127
00:05:41,718 --> 00:05:43,171
so I'm just...
128
00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:47,223
just trying to ease him
into the freaky thing.
129
00:05:52,662 --> 00:05:54,316
Oh, is there somebody here?
130
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:55,885
Yeah, he's in the back. He'll be...
131
00:05:55,965 --> 00:05:58,054
Oh, my God, Molly?
132
00:05:58,134 --> 00:06:00,256
Molly Tilden, is that you?
133
00:06:00,336 --> 00:06:01,624
Do I know you?
134
00:06:01,704 --> 00:06:04,826
I'm Darlene Conner's Aunt Jackie
from next door!
135
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,029
Oh, wow!
136
00:06:07,109 --> 00:06:09,366
Oh, I haven't seen you in years!
137
00:06:09,446 --> 00:06:10,767
What are you doing now?
138
00:06:10,847 --> 00:06:13,669
Last I remember, you were
working at The Lunch Box.
139
00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:14,871
Still am.
140
00:06:14,951 --> 00:06:17,207
- Oh, are you married?
- Nope.
141
00:06:17,287 --> 00:06:19,676
You still have that mom
you were always fighting with?
142
00:06:19,756 --> 00:06:21,277
Let's cut to the chase.
143
00:06:21,357 --> 00:06:22,277
Nothing's changed.
144
00:06:22,357 --> 00:06:24,681
27 years... zippo.
145
00:06:24,761 --> 00:06:27,349
- What've you been doing?
- Oh, God. Where... Where would I start?
146
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:31,220
Um, I moved away, and I got
married a couple times.
147
00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:33,088
Oh.
148
00:06:33,168 --> 00:06:35,624
And now I'm, uh... I'm...
I'm taking some time off work
149
00:06:35,704 --> 00:06:36,758
back visiting my folks.
150
00:06:36,838 --> 00:06:38,393
Does Darlene know that you're back?
151
00:06:38,473 --> 00:06:40,429
We haven't really stayed in touch.
152
00:06:40,509 --> 00:06:42,832
Oh, right. I forgot about that.
153
00:06:42,912 --> 00:06:44,267
The David thing.
154
00:06:44,347 --> 00:06:46,001
Yeah.
155
00:06:46,081 --> 00:06:48,638
- What do you have against me?
- Nothing.
156
00:06:48,718 --> 00:06:50,873
I just feel that we're at that
point in our friendship
157
00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:53,909
where you should realize
that we don't have one.
158
00:06:53,989 --> 00:06:56,279
I mean it. What did I ever do to you?
159
00:06:56,359 --> 00:06:58,215
Is this because David flirts with me?
160
00:06:58,295 --> 00:07:00,450
I think you have that backwards.
161
00:07:00,530 --> 00:07:02,518
You're the one always
pulling the touchy-feely routine
162
00:07:02,598 --> 00:07:03,619
every time he's around.
163
00:07:03,699 --> 00:07:05,154
Look, I was just trying to be nice!
164
00:07:05,234 --> 00:07:08,191
Well, he's not used to being
treated that way, okay?
165
00:07:08,271 --> 00:07:11,059
All right, look, maybe I came on
a little strong the other day,
166
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,294
but I was mad at you.
167
00:07:12,381 --> 00:07:14,403
Just trust me...
I'm not interested in David, okay?
168
00:07:14,427 --> 00:07:15,943
Yeah, right.
169
00:07:15,944 --> 00:07:17,833
And I'm sure David doesn't like me.
170
00:07:17,913 --> 00:07:19,869
I know that. I didn't say he liked you.
171
00:07:19,949 --> 00:07:21,470
I said cut the boy-toy crap.
172
00:07:21,495 --> 00:07:22,371
Okay.
173
00:07:24,948 --> 00:07:26,876
So, whatever happened
with Darlene and David?
174
00:07:26,956 --> 00:07:28,114
I mean, are they still together?
175
00:07:28,177 --> 00:07:29,866
Nope, they got divorced.
176
00:07:29,938 --> 00:07:31,360
She's with a real solid guy now.
177
00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,161
Real piece of man-candy
from what I hear.
178
00:07:33,249 --> 00:07:36,071
Molly, this is Ben, Darlene's boyfriend.
179
00:07:36,143 --> 00:07:39,334
Hi. Do you prefer "Ben" or "Mr. Candy"?
180
00:07:42,351 --> 00:07:44,639
Uh, Ben, this is Molly.
181
00:07:44,719 --> 00:07:46,274
She and Darlene
went to high school together.
182
00:07:46,354 --> 00:07:48,175
Oh! So, how can I help you?
183
00:07:48,255 --> 00:07:49,745
Do you have outdoor speakers?
184
00:07:49,825 --> 00:07:50,978
I'm laying out in my folks' yard.
185
00:07:51,058 --> 00:07:52,048
I would like some music.
186
00:07:52,128 --> 00:07:53,348
I've got a few. Let me show you.
187
00:07:53,428 --> 00:07:55,384
Cool. It was so good seeing you again.
188
00:07:55,464 --> 00:07:56,665
Yeah, okay!
189
00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:02,490
Darlene? I'm at the hardware store.
190
00:08:02,570 --> 00:08:05,508
Molly Tilden, back in Lanford,
hitting on Ben.
191
00:08:06,609 --> 00:08:09,365
No, the bitch is still adorable.
192
00:08:17,385 --> 00:08:20,341
- Hello, Becky.
- Hi, guys!
193
00:08:20,421 --> 00:08:22,111
You remember my cousin Lupe?
194
00:08:22,191 --> 00:08:23,678
She's been helping me with the baby,
195
00:08:23,758 --> 00:08:25,247
so I'm taking her to dinner tonight.
196
00:08:25,327 --> 00:08:28,317
Oh, thank you so much for
helping Emilio out with the baby
197
00:08:28,397 --> 00:08:29,517
while I've been working.
198
00:08:29,597 --> 00:08:32,286
There's my big girl.
199
00:08:32,366 --> 00:08:34,156
- Come here.
- Mama.
200
00:08:34,236 --> 00:08:35,424
- Oh!
- Mama!
201
00:08:35,504 --> 00:08:36,324
What?
202
00:08:36,404 --> 00:08:37,892
Are you hungry?
203
00:08:37,972 --> 00:08:40,628
- Mama!
- I got some Go-Gurt in the fridge.
204
00:08:40,708 --> 00:08:42,196
Aww, she just ate.
205
00:08:42,276 --> 00:08:43,498
- Oh, okay.
- Mama!
206
00:08:43,578 --> 00:08:45,066
She must be overly tired.
207
00:08:45,146 --> 00:08:46,667
She slept on the way over here.
208
00:08:46,747 --> 00:08:48,603
She was driving, so I was concerned.
209
00:08:48,683 --> 00:08:49,838
Oh!
210
00:08:49,918 --> 00:08:51,406
Hey, hey, it's Mommy.
211
00:08:51,486 --> 00:08:54,108
It's Mommy. Remember me?
212
00:08:54,188 --> 00:08:55,444
- Shh.
- Oh.
213
00:08:55,524 --> 00:08:57,179
It's okay, Beverly Rose.
214
00:08:57,259 --> 00:09:00,147
Y-Y... No, m-my hands must be cold.
215
00:09:00,227 --> 00:09:01,650
Here, come here.
216
00:09:01,730 --> 00:09:03,151
Oh.
217
00:09:03,231 --> 00:09:05,020
Oh, mm.
218
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:06,286
Oh.
219
00:09:07,669 --> 00:09:10,036
Can you take the baby out for a walk?
220
00:09:10,052 --> 00:09:11,755
Sure. Thank you, Lupe.
221
00:09:18,428 --> 00:09:21,117
She doesn't want to be with me.
222
00:09:21,197 --> 00:09:23,453
She's calling Lupe "Mama."
223
00:09:23,533 --> 00:09:26,456
Eh, let her settle down a little bit,
224
00:09:26,536 --> 00:09:27,957
and we'll try again.
225
00:09:28,037 --> 00:09:29,058
It'll be fine.
226
00:09:29,138 --> 00:09:31,629
No, she's too upset.
227
00:09:31,709 --> 00:09:32,996
I don't want to put her through that.
228
00:09:33,076 --> 00:09:35,546
Just take her back to your place.
229
00:09:36,513 --> 00:09:37,601
Are you sure?
230
00:09:37,681 --> 00:09:39,602
I got stuff to do.
231
00:09:39,682 --> 00:09:42,206
I gotta take my duvet to the Laundromat.
232
00:09:42,286 --> 00:09:43,808
It's too big for our machine.
233
00:09:43,888 --> 00:09:45,756
Okay.
234
00:09:47,356 --> 00:09:49,712
We'll see you tomorrow.
235
00:09:49,792 --> 00:09:50,827
'Night.
236
00:10:09,646 --> 00:10:11,300
Oh. Hi, Darlene.
237
00:10:11,380 --> 00:10:13,602
Is Mr. Tilden playing the TV too loud?
238
00:10:13,682 --> 00:10:15,271
He can't hear a thing anymore.
239
00:10:15,351 --> 00:10:16,941
Hi, Mrs. Tilden. Uh, no.
240
00:10:17,021 --> 00:10:19,809
- Is Molly home?
- Yeah, sure. Hold on.
241
00:10:19,889 --> 00:10:23,580
Molly! One of your little
friends is here to see you.
242
00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:25,814
Uh, I'm 44 years old and I've got kids,
243
00:10:25,894 --> 00:10:27,832
- but, yeah, it's fine.
- Hmm.
244
00:10:30,466 --> 00:10:32,688
Hey, Darlene.
245
00:10:32,768 --> 00:10:34,569
This is so cool.
246
00:10:34,604 --> 00:10:36,793
Did your aunt tell you
that I saw her today?
247
00:10:36,873 --> 00:10:38,495
Yeah, she did.
248
00:10:38,575 --> 00:10:40,563
She also told me you were
hitting on my boyfriend.
249
00:10:40,643 --> 00:10:43,298
Are you kidding me?
250
00:10:43,378 --> 00:10:44,635
It's been 30 years
251
00:10:44,715 --> 00:10:48,038
and you're still
an insecure little teenage girl?
252
00:10:48,118 --> 00:10:50,039
I don't have time for this.
253
00:10:50,119 --> 00:10:51,308
Wait.
254
00:10:51,388 --> 00:10:53,510
Wait. So you didn't flirt with him?
255
00:10:53,590 --> 00:10:56,045
No, you psycho.
256
00:10:56,125 --> 00:10:58,082
Whatever your aunt saw,
257
00:10:58,162 --> 00:11:00,484
that's just how I am with everybody.
258
00:11:00,564 --> 00:11:02,318
I am a people person.
259
00:11:02,398 --> 00:11:03,854
Uh, no.
260
00:11:03,934 --> 00:11:05,456
To be fair, you were always
261
00:11:05,536 --> 00:11:08,759
a "having sex with
other people's person" person.
262
00:11:08,839 --> 00:11:10,827
I was 14.
263
00:11:10,907 --> 00:11:13,563
Geez, Darlene. I wouldn't do that.
264
00:11:13,643 --> 00:11:16,833
I've had a couple of husbands
who have cheated on me,
265
00:11:16,913 --> 00:11:19,503
so I know how that hurts.
266
00:11:19,583 --> 00:11:22,639
All right, yeah. Sorry. Um.
267
00:11:22,719 --> 00:11:23,907
Uh, maybe I overreacted.
268
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,756
Okay, let's start again.
269
00:11:27,157 --> 00:11:28,345
How are you, Darlene?
270
00:11:28,425 --> 00:11:31,114
Fine, Molly.
271
00:11:31,194 --> 00:11:32,949
Hear you've been married a couple times.
272
00:11:33,029 --> 00:11:34,550
Yeah.
273
00:11:34,630 --> 00:11:36,253
Well, the first one was a mistake,
274
00:11:36,333 --> 00:11:38,989
and I repeated it just to make sure.
275
00:11:39,069 --> 00:11:40,890
Yeah, I did it a little differently.
276
00:11:40,970 --> 00:11:44,160
Uh, I took my first mistake
and just stretched it out
277
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,163
so it was one really long mistake.
278
00:11:46,243 --> 00:11:48,432
I heard.
279
00:11:48,512 --> 00:11:50,134
So, how is it with Ben?
280
00:11:50,214 --> 00:11:52,836
Oh, great, actually.
Yeah, couldn't be better.
281
00:11:52,916 --> 00:11:55,871
Well, if it's so great, how come
you came charging over here
282
00:11:55,951 --> 00:11:59,875
acting all like, "You're
stealing my man, Jolene"?
283
00:11:59,955 --> 00:12:03,179
Well, you know, even when things
are good, stuff can happen.
284
00:12:03,259 --> 00:12:05,948
Come on. I've made all the
mistakes you can make with men.
285
00:12:06,028 --> 00:12:08,018
I've been too clingy.
I've been too independent.
286
00:12:08,098 --> 00:12:11,101
Birthday present threesome, you name it.
287
00:12:12,603 --> 00:12:16,159
Well, uh, Ben was living
at the house with me,
288
00:12:16,239 --> 00:12:17,873
and he and my dad had got in a fight.
289
00:12:18,008 --> 00:12:19,763
And now he won't come home.
290
00:12:19,843 --> 00:12:21,398
Threesome, huh?
291
00:12:21,478 --> 00:12:24,134
For Ben's birthday, I got him
a reusable metal straw.
292
00:12:24,214 --> 00:12:26,303
He told me he loved it.
293
00:12:26,383 --> 00:12:29,139
So, are you worried
that he's not gonna come back?
294
00:12:29,219 --> 00:12:31,421
Um...
295
00:12:35,792 --> 00:12:38,981
Guess I'm just feeling
a bit overwhelmed.
296
00:12:39,061 --> 00:12:41,951
I, uh... I have a new job,
and I've got kids,
297
00:12:42,031 --> 00:12:43,986
and my dad needs help,
298
00:12:44,066 --> 00:12:46,128
and now I gotta worry about me and Ben.
299
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:48,239
You don't have to worry.
300
00:12:48,311 --> 00:12:51,981
I realized a while ago
that it doesn't change anything.
301
00:12:53,290 --> 00:12:54,813
Well, if I don't worry,
302
00:12:54,893 --> 00:12:56,713
then I have to
lean on my negative outlook.
303
00:12:56,793 --> 00:13:00,484
Those are really the only
two personality traits I have.
304
00:13:00,564 --> 00:13:02,800
When's the last time you had fun?
305
00:13:04,336 --> 00:13:05,457
How far am I allowed to go back?
306
00:13:07,005 --> 00:13:08,859
Here's what we're gonna do.
307
00:13:08,939 --> 00:13:10,228
We're gonna get dressed up,
308
00:13:10,308 --> 00:13:11,762
we're gonna hit Einen Biergarten,
309
00:13:11,842 --> 00:13:13,998
and we're gonna get white-girl wasted.
310
00:13:14,078 --> 00:13:17,234
Yeah, that sounds
really good right now, but...
311
00:13:17,314 --> 00:13:18,237
Yeah, I don't know.
312
00:13:18,317 --> 00:13:20,003
Oh, come on.
313
00:13:20,083 --> 00:13:22,707
Maybe give Ben a reason
to worry for once.
314
00:13:22,787 --> 00:13:25,042
All right, now, you're gonna go.
315
00:13:25,122 --> 00:13:28,646
You're gonna put on your best
"going out on the town,"
316
00:13:28,726 --> 00:13:33,551
low-cut flannel shirt,
and let's do this.
317
00:13:33,631 --> 00:13:37,088
I do have some Doc Martens that
make my butt look really good.
318
00:13:40,370 --> 00:13:43,261
♪ I'm too sexy for this
shirt, too sexy for this shirt ♪
319
00:13:43,341 --> 00:13:45,805
That's a lot of beer
for a little thing like you.
320
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,212
Oh, no. I'm not alone.
321
00:13:47,278 --> 00:13:49,000
I'm here trying
to get my depressed girlfriend
322
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:50,268
out of her head.
323
00:13:50,355 --> 00:13:51,724
Oh, yeah? Which one's your friend?
324
00:13:51,756 --> 00:13:53,009
Over there.
325
00:13:53,097 --> 00:13:55,487
♪ Love's going to leave me ♪
326
00:13:55,567 --> 00:13:58,290
♪ I'm too sexy for my love ♪
327
00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:00,059
♪ Too sexy for my love ♪
328
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:03,462
♪ Love's going to leave me ♪
329
00:14:03,542 --> 00:14:06,332
♪ And I'm too sexy for this song ♪
330
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:08,032
- Whoo-hoo!
- Whoo!
331
00:14:08,112 --> 00:14:10,236
Too sexy! I'm too sexy!
332
00:14:10,316 --> 00:14:13,006
Hey! Look at you!
333
00:14:13,086 --> 00:14:15,341
Are we having fun yet?!
334
00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:16,809
Yeah, I think I am.
335
00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:18,209
Does it... Does it look like I am?
336
00:14:18,289 --> 00:14:19,277
Yeah, here! Get up here with me.
337
00:14:19,357 --> 00:14:20,880
Come on, come on, come on.
338
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,116
Yeah! Now you do!
339
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,984
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
340
00:14:26,064 --> 00:14:28,621
Hey, look at us.
341
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,488
We're wearing the same shirt.
342
00:14:30,568 --> 00:14:33,125
Oh, yeah. It's a man's shirt.
343
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,240
What are you doing wearing it?
344
00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:37,096
Can I buy you a giant pretzel?
345
00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:38,798
Oh, wow. A whole pretzel.
346
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,532
You don't even know where this is going.
347
00:14:40,612 --> 00:14:43,669
Wow!
348
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:46,472
- What?
- You're flirting!
349
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:47,573
- I am?
- Yeah.
350
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,342
Oh, I was trying to humiliate him.
351
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,510
Oh, my God, that means
I flirt with men all the time.
352
00:14:53,558 --> 00:14:54,780
Thank you so much...
353
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:55,814
...for getting me out.
354
00:14:55,894 --> 00:14:57,516
I didn't know how badly I needed this.
355
00:14:57,596 --> 00:15:00,786
Well, you're 44 years old.
356
00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:04,290
How much longer are you gonna
wait to enjoy your life?
357
00:15:04,370 --> 00:15:05,939
- ♪ Come on, Eileen ♪
- Didn't know it was an option.
358
00:15:05,964 --> 00:15:07,081
♪ Oh, I swear what he means ♪
359
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:11,971
♪ At this moment, you mean everything ♪
360
00:15:12,043 --> 00:15:13,199
♪ You in that dress ♪
361
00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:14,266
It's Ben.
362
00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:15,800
Just say hi and get rid of him.
363
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,435
Make sure he knows you're having fun.
364
00:15:17,515 --> 00:15:19,104
Hello?
365
00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:20,939
Darlene?
366
00:15:21,019 --> 00:15:22,641
Uh, who is this?
367
00:15:22,721 --> 00:15:26,112
I can't hear you over
all the fun I'm having.
368
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:28,113
It's Ben.
369
00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:30,583
Where are you?
When are you gonna be home?
370
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:33,886
Oh, you mean, when
am I coming home to my home,
371
00:15:33,966 --> 00:15:39,123
where you... whoever you are...
no longer want to live?
372
00:15:39,148 --> 00:15:40,429
We need to talk.
373
00:15:40,492 --> 00:15:43,581
Well, I'd love to, but I have to
tell Eileen to come on.
374
00:15:43,661 --> 00:15:45,316
You know, "too-ra-loo-ra-yay"?
375
00:15:45,396 --> 00:15:46,819
All right, sorry, gotta go.
376
00:15:46,899 --> 00:15:48,421
- ♪ Come on, Eileen ♪
- Yes!
377
00:15:48,501 --> 00:15:49,922
♪ Oh, I swear, what he means ♪
378
00:15:50,009 --> 00:15:51,743
♪ At this moment... ♪
379
00:16:03,116 --> 00:16:05,671
So...
380
00:16:05,751 --> 00:16:07,038
what's your story?
381
00:16:07,118 --> 00:16:08,907
Somebody remember your birthday,
382
00:16:08,987 --> 00:16:11,042
forget your anniversary... what?
383
00:16:11,122 --> 00:16:13,611
Worse. It's just Wednesday.
384
00:16:13,691 --> 00:16:16,648
I've been there.
385
00:16:16,728 --> 00:16:18,215
As a matter of fact,
I'm there right now.
386
00:16:18,295 --> 00:16:19,851
Are you drinking that?
387
00:16:19,931 --> 00:16:22,455
Not yet.
388
00:16:22,535 --> 00:16:26,591
Well, now that we're friends,
would you mind if I took a pull?
389
00:16:26,671 --> 00:16:29,360
Sorry. COVID.
390
00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,964
And vodka's just short
of the 70% alcohol
391
00:16:32,044 --> 00:16:34,231
the CDC recommends to kill the bug.
392
00:16:34,311 --> 00:16:37,949
Lucky for me, got my own cup.
393
00:16:39,785 --> 00:16:43,075
Small load, medium load, or large load?
394
00:16:43,155 --> 00:16:44,677
How about a medium load?
395
00:16:44,757 --> 00:16:47,660
Anything more than that, I'll
want to make love to my husband.
396
00:16:54,867 --> 00:16:55,787
You got kids?
397
00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:58,489
I'm drinking in a Laundromat.
398
00:16:58,569 --> 00:17:00,325
What do you think?
399
00:17:00,405 --> 00:17:03,529
Mine's a baby, and I love her,
400
00:17:03,609 --> 00:17:05,697
but I've been working double shifts,
401
00:17:05,777 --> 00:17:08,199
and I hardly get to see her.
402
00:17:08,279 --> 00:17:11,369
And when I go back to school,
it's only gonna get worse.
403
00:17:11,449 --> 00:17:13,104
That's a tough one.
404
00:17:13,184 --> 00:17:15,907
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
405
00:17:15,987 --> 00:17:19,844
If I don't, I'm not able to
give her a better life.
406
00:17:22,527 --> 00:17:25,850
But I don't want to lose her
in the process.
407
00:17:25,930 --> 00:17:28,553
I feel like I'm drowning.
408
00:17:30,001 --> 00:17:32,958
You know, when I was in high school,
409
00:17:32,983 --> 00:17:35,806
I thought I was gonna be
running the world.
410
00:17:35,859 --> 00:17:38,114
What did you think
you were gonna be doing?
411
00:17:38,201 --> 00:17:39,815
Drinking.
412
00:17:41,165 --> 00:17:43,589
So, that worked out for you.
413
00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:45,160
Congratulations.
414
00:17:55,511 --> 00:17:56,700
- Oh, you know...
- Aah!
415
00:17:56,780 --> 00:17:58,768
...I never felt
totally safe in this house.
416
00:17:58,848 --> 00:18:02,272
It's about time
they got a security guard.
417
00:18:02,352 --> 00:18:04,240
Darlene said you weren't moving back in.
418
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:05,374
What are you doing here?
419
00:18:05,454 --> 00:18:07,310
I came to talk to her, but evidently,
420
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:10,114
she's out on the town
living her best life.
421
00:18:10,194 --> 00:18:11,748
What's with the outfit?
422
00:18:11,828 --> 00:18:15,652
Oh, I picked up the graveyard
shift at the city impound lot.
423
00:18:15,732 --> 00:18:17,054
It's not bad.
424
00:18:17,134 --> 00:18:19,589
There's a pack of pitbulls
that do most of the work.
425
00:18:19,669 --> 00:18:22,092
So, you're sitting outside
in the freezing cold all night?
426
00:18:22,172 --> 00:18:23,460
For what? Huh?
427
00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:25,127
Just 'cause I won't give you
a part of my business?
428
00:18:25,207 --> 00:18:27,029
You don't think
I'm worth sharing the profits
429
00:18:27,109 --> 00:18:28,698
for all that I bring to the table.
430
00:18:28,778 --> 00:18:30,166
That's insulting, man.
431
00:18:30,246 --> 00:18:31,968
My father gave this to me.
432
00:18:32,048 --> 00:18:36,707
It was important to him,
and 25 percent's just too much.
433
00:18:36,787 --> 00:18:40,044
Is there a percent that isn't too much?
434
00:18:40,124 --> 00:18:43,512
I mean, I think 10%
is a pretty good amount
435
00:18:43,592 --> 00:18:46,616
for a guy who was
previously a security guard.
436
00:18:46,696 --> 00:18:48,485
Deal.
437
00:18:48,565 --> 00:18:49,920
Well...
438
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,135
It's...
439
00:18:55,571 --> 00:18:57,060
Hey.
440
00:18:57,140 --> 00:19:00,463
- Hey.
- Oh, somebody had fun.
441
00:19:00,543 --> 00:19:01,998
You're drenched in sweat.
442
00:19:02,078 --> 00:19:03,467
Women don't sweat.
443
00:19:03,547 --> 00:19:06,617
We glow with beer that we can't
process through our kidneys.
444
00:19:08,085 --> 00:19:09,239
What are you doing here?
445
00:19:09,319 --> 00:19:11,307
Well, I was a little worried
by our phone call,
446
00:19:11,387 --> 00:19:12,942
and you sounded
like you were having fun,
447
00:19:13,022 --> 00:19:14,845
so I knew something wasn't right.
448
00:19:14,925 --> 00:19:17,847
No, no, it's actually really right.
449
00:19:17,927 --> 00:19:20,450
Look, I know you're worried
about your dad's money problems,
450
00:19:20,530 --> 00:19:23,620
but I did something that I think'll help
451
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,395
that situation down the road
a little bit.
452
00:19:26,434 --> 00:19:28,355
I gave your dad 10% of the business.
453
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:32,386
My God, that's amazing.
454
00:19:32,411 --> 00:19:34,493
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.
455
00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:36,663
Well, I figure in six months,
456
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:40,567
he should make enough money to
pay the mortgage without you.
457
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:42,903
And so, if you don't want to
move out with me then,
458
00:19:42,983 --> 00:19:44,404
I'm gonna have to assume
that you don't want us
459
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:45,940
to have a future.
460
00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:47,107
Okay.
461
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:49,423
"Okay"? That's it?
462
00:19:50,591 --> 00:19:52,011
Let's talk in six months.
463
00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:54,414
I can't keep worrying all the
time about what's gonna happen,
464
00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:57,017
so I'm taking Molly's advice
and I'm going with the flow.
465
00:19:57,097 --> 00:19:58,786
What does that mean?
466
00:19:58,866 --> 00:20:01,754
It means I'm gonna go make
some toast to soak up this beer.
467
00:20:01,834 --> 00:20:03,857
So why don't you go back
to the hardware store,
468
00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:05,358
and maybe tomorrow,
469
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,108
I will come by and sleep with you.
470
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,331
Well...
471
00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:13,300
what time tomorrow?
472
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,735
When I'm naked in your cot,
473
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:18,384
it will be shortly after that.
474
00:20:22,022 --> 00:20:23,108
- Hey.
- Hey.
475
00:20:23,188 --> 00:20:25,212
Ooh, you're up early!
476
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:26,613
Did you have "Come On Eileen"
477
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:28,581
stuck in your head all night, too?
478
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,085
No. Just the look on Ben's face
479
00:20:31,165 --> 00:20:32,551
when I told him I wasn't gonna worry
480
00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:34,000
about our relationship anymore.
481
00:20:36,003 --> 00:20:36,924
What's this?
482
00:20:37,004 --> 00:20:38,259
Open it.
483
00:20:38,339 --> 00:20:39,707
Okay.
484
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,065
A first-class ticket to Hawaii?
485
00:20:45,145 --> 00:20:47,600
Mm-hmm. What do you say? Come with me.
486
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,536
All right, well, what about work?
487
00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:50,936
And, I mean, who's gonna watch my kids?
488
00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:52,638
You'll miss two days.
489
00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:54,774
And one of the other 50 people
490
00:20:54,799 --> 00:20:55,797
who live in this house
491
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,577
can watch your kids.
492
00:20:57,657 --> 00:20:59,011
It's so expensive.
493
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:00,246
No, not for me.
494
00:21:00,326 --> 00:21:01,882
My ex pays my credit card,
495
00:21:01,962 --> 00:21:04,084
and I abuse it
to get frequent flier miles.
496
00:21:04,164 --> 00:21:06,019
I don't know.
497
00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:09,155
Well, I mean, I have always
wanted to go to Hawaii.
498
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:10,424
Actually, I've always
wanted to go anywhere.
499
00:21:10,504 --> 00:21:12,893
Yes! So, let's do it.
500
00:21:12,973 --> 00:21:15,395
Okay, I'm definitely gonna consider it.
501
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,163
It would be really fun
502
00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:18,831
to see that village
where all the settlers
503
00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,934
got wiped out by that volcano.
504
00:21:21,014 --> 00:21:24,485
I'm gonna have to keep you drunk
the whole time.
36367
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