All language subtitles for Fat Pizza 2003

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:03,160 ترجمة هشام لهمامي 2 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:05,240 Come on! Spin it! Come on! 3 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:07,080 Come on! Spin it! Spin it! 4 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:11,280 Come on, Sleeky. Spin it! Spin it! 5 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,760 6 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,760 The cops are coming! The cops! 7 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:17,040 The cops! The cops! The cops! 8 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,520 ( GLASS SHATTERS 3 9 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,520 10 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:24,520 11 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:27,512 12 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:36,520 Hello. I'm Pauly. 13 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,720 Um, now, the following story it's all true 14 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,280 and we didn't even change any of the names 15 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:43,760 to protect innocent or guilty, 16 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,440 'cause it's, like, true and that. 17 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,432 18 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,919 19 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,399 20 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:56,633 21 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:01,520 22 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,120 Doughnuts! 23 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:06,954 24 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,272 25 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,680 (TECHNO MUSIC) 26 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:19,876 27 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,552 28 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,480 29 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,640 MAN: Hey, mate, are you disabled in there? 30 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,760 Uh, yes, I am. 31 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:40,320 I have jiggly legs and my throat has the shingles. 32 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,277 I can't talk anymore. Stop arggh! 33 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,200 Oh, he's f—--ing lying! 34 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,000 I saw that able-bodied f--- walk in there. 35 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,080 36 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:52,760 You f—--ing p----. 37 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:55,080 38 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,080 39 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:58,559 40 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,952 41 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,400 42 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,080 What's with this tricky door? 43 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,280 We're sick of f—--s like you using our toilet, p----! 44 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:16,080 Hey, look, come on, man. I'm late for work. 45 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:19,680 Yeah! What part of disabled don't you understand, s---head? 46 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,672 47 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:26,669 48 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,480 Open the door! 49 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,040 Ah, sucked in, mate! 50 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,320 Come on! 51 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,440 I wish I could see your face. 52 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:43,432 53 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,153 54 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:50,558 55 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:53,439 56 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:57,240 57 00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:59,960 Arggh! 58 00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,680 59 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,120 (CLA'I'I'ERING) 60 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:07,636 61 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,032 62 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,040 63 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:33,360 Mate, them disabled have chips on their shoulders! 64 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:36,000 That's the last time I'm giving to charity, mate. 65 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,992 66 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,480 67 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,600 (Man sings) ♪ Yeah ♪ Pizza...oh, yeah 68 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,238 (Both sing) ♪ Chicks! Chicks! Chicks! ♪ 69 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,800 Hello? Pauly! 70 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,680 Habib, man. How's it going, mate? 71 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:50,680 72 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,960 I'm in Sleeky's car with Rocky and some chick he picked up. 73 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:55,960 Pauly, you should see her arse, mate. 74 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,960 It's beautiful it's like a smooth peach. 75 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,440 Like a watermelon. 76 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,280 Hey, tell me about the system I got ya. Is it sick or what? 77 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,960 Look, Habib, the stereo, it's not bad, alright? 78 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:08,680 But come on, man! Iasked for bloody 12 subwoofers. 79 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:10,160 You only put seven in! 80 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,360 And what's with this on board computer, Habib, man? 81 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:13,840 It's just too complicated! 82 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:15,720 COMPUTER: You are exceeding the speed limit. 83 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,200 Shut up! 84 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,440 Mate, I can't find the button to switch off the voice talking. 85 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,120 Habib, man, give me that phone. 86 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:25,400 Pauly, bro, try the turbo button on the stereo. 87 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:26,400 88 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,800 I haven't tried it. I'll give it a go. 89 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,400 SONG: ♪ Subwoofer! Sick, mate, sick! 90 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,357 ♪ Subwoofer! Subwoofer! ♪ 91 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,039 What about those subwoofers, huh? 92 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,520 Yeah, alright, it's not bad, you know. Not bad. 93 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:45,720 Ooh! Habib! You should see what I can see, man. 94 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,760 It's this sexy pants chick. 95 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,040 She's wearing, like, tight little zip pants. 96 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,600 She's on a motorbike. 97 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,200 She's got boots and, oh... It's Puss in Boots, mate. 98 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,320 Oh, my God, stop it! You're making me horny. 99 00:04:58,320 --> 00:04:59,560 100 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,320 Oh, look at that... Pauly... 101 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,720 Hey, hold on. I've got a call. 102 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,200 Hello? 103 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,600 You're a minute late for work, Pauly. 104 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,280 Oh, come on, Bobo, man! 105 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,440 Where are ya? What's going on? 106 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:15,080 Why do you think I'm late? I picked up your wedding ring. 107 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,151 Shut up! Get in here! 108 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,720 Oh, what an arse! I have to get this chick's number. 109 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,599 110 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,240 111 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:33,720 Arggh! 112 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,200 (TYRES SQUEAL) 113 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,760 (Screams indistinctly) A transtesticle! 114 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,760 (ITALIAN MUSIC) 115 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,797 (PHONE RINGS) 116 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:46,040 Fat Pizza pizzas. They're big and they're cheesy. 117 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,999 I just want to check what's on a ham and pineapple, mate? 118 00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:00,792 Pauly, this is the new worker Davo. 119 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,960 Alright, today's your first day. 120 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,440 I hope Bobo's told you about this job. 121 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:12,080 Delivering pizzas! I've got the hot bag and the burn bag. 122 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,680 Man, don't be so ignorant. 123 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,760 You are dealing with the public! 124 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,229 Pizza delivery is a dangerous business. 125 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,160 Now, to stay alive, man, 126 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,040 you're gonna have to follow three simple rules. 127 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,800 Listen, 'cause I'm not saying them again, alright? 128 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,880 Number one if the customer, like, invites you inside, 129 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,560 never go in, mate never! 130 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:38,920 Do come in! I have a nice hot tip waiting for you. 131 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:39,960 (ALARM BLARES ) 132 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:44,160 Mate, rule number two man, get a fake licence from Habib. 133 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,280 (TYRES SQUEAL) 134 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,360 Can I see your licence, please, sir? 135 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:50,560 Of course. I mean, it's required by law. 136 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,480 My name is Jerry MacFetus, 137 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,320 with the Scottish pronunciation Mac, 138 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,960 'cause that's my background. 139 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,080 (BAGPIPES PLAY) (Screams) 140 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,600 I love them haggis. 141 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,750 Now, the third rule is... 142 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,400 Is them thongs? 143 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,118 They're not thongs, they're cross-trainers! 144 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,000 Yes, they are. 145 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:15,320 Look, the third rule is Bobo's mad and he's a tight-arse 146 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,800 and, like, worst of all, 147 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,000 if you see him coming with the chainsaw... 148 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,480 Arggh! 149 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,756 Run, mate! Arggh! 150 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,840 See, Bobo, man, he's a 40-year-old virgin. 151 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,600 Don't tell him I told ya. 152 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:32,150 Mate, that's why he's violent, man. He's horny all the time. 153 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,320 And the bloke still lives with his mama. 154 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:36,800 Do you believe that? 155 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,160 (ACCORDION MUSIC) 156 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,071 You're telling me he's never had sex? 157 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:43,639 There was one time. 158 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,800 But the woman had a penis. 159 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,920 (Woman sings) ♪ I'm fascinated by your love, boy 160 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:53,320 ♪ I'm fascinated by your love toy 161 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,800 ♪ I'm fascinated by... ♪ 162 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,758 Are you a real woman? (Laughs) 163 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,520 And, mate, Bobo's particularly stressed today 164 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,000 because, man, tomorrow 165 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,280 he's meant to get married to, like, a mail-order chick. 166 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,272 (ROMANTIC MUSIC SWELLS) 167 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,960 Bobo! 168 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,640 (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) Mama! 169 00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:25,560 Can I have the credit card? (MODEM BEEPS) 170 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:29,440 The bloke is such a cheap-arse, what he's done 171 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:33,360 he's making her sneak into the country, mate, like a refugee 172 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,240 in one of them, what, them little putt-putt boats, 173 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,440 with a small engine. 174 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,432 (ORIENTAL MUSIC) 175 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:47,600 (Man sings) ♪ Where you walk Flowers bloom 176 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,840 ♪ When you smile, all the gloom 177 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:53,600 ♪ Turns to sunshine 178 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:58,800 ♪ And my heart opens wide 179 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,160 ♪ When you're gone it fades... ♪ 180 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,640 Bobo, why do you want to get married 181 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,916 when you can live with your mama?! 182 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,634 (ITALIAN MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY ) 183 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,473 What are you bludgers lookin' at?! 184 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,040 Any orders, Bobo? 185 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:19,240 Shut up! 186 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,280 MAN: Stop! You cannot enter Australia illegally. 187 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,680 (EXCITED HUBBUB) 188 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,239 (Speaks foreign language) 189 00:09:30,360 --> 00:09:31,600 Get 'em! Get 'em! 190 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,000 Who are these guys? 191 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,992 (JAUNTY MUSIC) 192 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,880 Mate, this is the former employee hall of shame. 193 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,040 Now, you see this bloke here? Now, this is Dougie, mate. 194 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,160 He was the guy on them TV Pizza Shack commercials. 195 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:48,640 Yeah, right. 196 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,120 After he got busted for drugs that big scandal 197 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,600 he couldn't get a job nowhere else but here, 198 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:55,360 actually working in pizzas. 199 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,400 That'll be $12.95, thanks. 200 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:58,600 (SCARY MUSIC) 201 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,800 Killed by a serial killer, mate. 202 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,480 Shit! 203 00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:03,800 (UNEARTHLY SCREAMING) 204 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:05,360 What happened to this guy? 205 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,920 That's Lachlan, the apprentice chef. 206 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:10,440 He suffered, like, an industrialised accident. 207 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,000 Unlucky. 208 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,080 Bludger! Arggh! 209 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,840 I won't spend over two minutes in the toilet again. 210 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,640 Arggh! Bobo! 211 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:19,640 Arggh! 212 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,360 Now, this bloke here, he's still alive. 213 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,880 Man, he was the biggest stooge of a pizza guy you've ever seen. 214 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,520 You know? He was too polite! 215 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,000 Excuse me, sir. 216 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,480 (Screams) 217 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,840 How many times did I tell him, man? 218 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,440 These people here, they're bums. 219 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,114 There's no room for etiquette in this area. 220 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,600 (Indian accent) Excuse me, madam. 221 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,400 Would you be so kind as to tell me 222 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,680 where is the Punt Road, please? 223 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,400 This f—--ing wog... 224 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,320 ...is trying to rape me, kids. 225 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:54,840 And the f---ing b------ didn't even offer me a f-----g beer. 226 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,720 Let's f—--ing get the f -----! 227 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,520 (ANGRY SHOUTING) 228 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,840 Basically, man, he had no chocky toughness, mate. 229 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,320 You need that. 230 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,800 Cheeky. What's that? 231 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,440 Well, chockoness, man. It's like the opposite of anglicised. 232 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,720 Like, you would be anglicised. 233 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,080 I would be chocko. 234 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,920 I'm very sorry, sir, but I cannot deliver this pizza. 235 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,400 (Growls) 236 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,880 You see, I am Hindu 237 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,360 and this pizza has beef all over it, sir! 238 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,120 I'm sorry, but I cannot deliver such a thing, sir. 239 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:29,000 From now on I only deliver the vegetarian pizzas, huh? 240 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,479 OK? 241 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,640 Now, this is your prime example 242 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,280 of a bloke not suited to pizzas, mate. 243 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,191 Look at him. Look at his head. 244 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,480 And, man, this is another bloke who ignored the first rule. 245 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:46,520 Look, don't go into these houses, man please! 246 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:50,640 (Screams) 247 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,520 Man, this India, he hates Bobo that bad, 248 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,480 what he's done him and his cousins, 249 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,200 they set up their own shop, 250 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,240 like a dodgy version of Fat Pizza. 251 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,160 (PHONE RINGS) 252 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:04,240 Hello, Phat Pizzas. 253 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,680 They are big, and we also have small. 254 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:09,360 You know, these Indians, man. 255 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,800 Like, what, they talk big, but they're pussies, you know? 256 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,000 Like, have you heard of this Gandhi that they all talk about? 257 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,200 The bald guy with the dress and the nappy-looking thing? 258 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,680 Yeah, that's him. 259 00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:22,520 World famous, he is. Why? 260 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,000 'Cause my grandfather Nino Falzoni 261 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,200 mate, he was the one who, like, did the whole thing 262 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,793 to get him into peace. 263 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,360 NEWSREEL: It's 1929 264 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,120 and the middleweight world championship 265 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,040 is being contested by Alfredo Falzoni from Malta 266 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,440 and Mahatma Gandhi from India. 267 00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,600 I'm gonna shove a cow down your throat 268 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,240 and make you s--- beef burgers! 269 00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:46,000 (EXCITED HUBBUB) 270 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,480 He bit off my ear! 271 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,560 You are my bitch! Arggh! 272 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,120 My bitch! Come here, my bitch! 273 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,160 And after what can only be described 274 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,160 as silly buggers at the weigh-in, 275 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:57,640 the fight begins. 276 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,280 Gandhi starts show-boating for the crowd. 277 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,080 Gandhi tags Falzoni with a short left... 278 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:06,040 I'm the greatest fighter in the world! (Laughs) 279 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,840 But here comes Falzoni with a series of uppercuts 280 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,520 and a huge right hook. 281 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,477 Oh! He's got Gandhi on the ropes. 282 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,472 ('UN BEL DI' FROM 'MADAM BUTTERFLY' PLAYS ) 283 00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:25,560 Arggh! 284 00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:29,240 (CROWD CHEERS) 285 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,320 I can see it now! 286 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,240 I was wrong! 287 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,880 Violence is not the way! 288 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,160 Peace is the only way! 289 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:41,280 Someone please change my nappy. 290 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,760 Far out! 291 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,840 My grandfather met the Queen when she came in the 705. 292 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,320 (JAUNTY MUSIC) 293 00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:48,913 He worked at the Opera House. 294 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:57,200 Excuse me, but what is the big deal about that story? 295 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,000 We“, he {med her'.! 296 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,560 (JAUNTY MUSIC) 297 00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:03,600 NEWSREEL: And a splendid day for Australia 298 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,440 as Queen Elizabeth, monarch of the English Empire, 299 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,960 visits lowly Australians in Sydney 300 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,793 for the opening of this strange ethnic-looking building. 301 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:24,320 And here's the Queen in all her splendour 302 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,039 getting a private tour of the Opera House. 303 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,640 ...show you some of the innovations 304 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,120 we put into place here. 305 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:38,320 Extraordinary. What are all these things here? 306 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:40,120 They're called lamps, your highness. 307 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:44,840 Oh! Oh! Do me like a corgi! Come on! Yeah! 308 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,040 Bark for me! Ruff! Ruff! 309 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,998 Pauly, where's the wedding ring? 310 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:56,320 ('WEDDING MARCH' PLAYS) 311 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,360 Don't lose it. 312 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,560 Relax, Bobo. It's safe, mate. Alright? 313 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,800 Now, look, man, I'm getting low on petrol, 314 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:06,320 like, driving around to get these rings and that. 315 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:07,960 I need a few bucks... No! 316 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,200 Just two bucks. No! 317 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,240 50 cents. No! 318 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:13,000 Can I just get a drink... No! 319 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,150 Can I use the toilet for free? No! 320 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,680 (Screams) 321 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:19,520 Where's Sleek? 322 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,880 Who? 323 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,880 (Raps) ♪ Sleek the elite I come through in the Bad Wog 324 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,320 ♪ Girls on my knob Because I do a good job 325 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,040 ♪ Habib-bibie The drug-maker, the drug-taker 326 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:32,160 ♪ The supplier That can fly ya 327 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,320 ♪ My man, Rocky He is rather stocky 328 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:35,840 ♪ Got a girl in stockings 329 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,560 ♪ And gave it to her to pursue her 330 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,920 ♪ Yeah, she smells like a sewer Oh, yeah... ♪ 331 00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,720 (Rocky gasps and groans) 332 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,960 I swear, man. These cops are always hassling us, man. 333 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,160 Why? We're just like normal people, man. 334 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:51,320 We do normal things, mate. We eat kebabs, we have weapons. 335 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:52,840 What's wrong with these things? 336 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,400 (SIREN WAILS) 337 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:57,560 Habib, man, hide the drugs. It's cops! 338 00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:01,474 The cops?! I'm not holding it! 339 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,113 Hide this up your nose! 340 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:11,590 (ENGINE REVS) 341 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:18,360 (DANCE MUSIC) 342 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,960 COMPUTER: Do not engage in unsafe driving. 343 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,200 Slow down. 344 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,840 Where do you switch this off, mate?! 345 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,280 Stop hitting me. Shut up, mate! 346 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,800 Stop. Shut up! Shut up! 347 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:33,480 (CRASH!) 348 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,440 Wanker. Man. 349 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,239 (ALARM WAILS ) 350 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,960 You malaka. Look what you did to my McCar. 351 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,320 You McF---ed it. 352 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,440 What are you supposed to be, mate? What? Ronnie Mcdoggle? 353 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,120 Mate, what's with the ethnic accent? 354 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,520 Everyone knows he's a Scottish-American, man. 355 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,280 Why do you think I have 356 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,120 the most successful franchise in the world, you sucker? 357 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,160 Oh, tell me, McStooge. 358 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:04,080 Because I'm a Greek, and Greeks are the champions of takeaway. 359 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:07,160 What do you think I'm gonna call the business McSpiro's? 360 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,440 (Laughs) Oh, stop! 361 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,320 Oh, you want to laugh? No, no. I'm cracking up. 362 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,153 (Laughs) You're giving me a McStitch. 363 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,592 (FAST-PACED MUSIC) 364 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,433 Whaa! 365 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:29,952 You want fries with that? (Laughs) 366 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,869 (SHOUTING) 367 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,080 Let's kick his McF---ing arse! 368 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,072 (All shout) 369 00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:49,270 Oh, you're thick-shaking now, aren't ya? 370 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,719 Jesus Fries! 371 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,680 (All laugh) 372 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:00,637 McSuck on these. 373 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,239 Oh, hey, come on! 374 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:09,550 Oh, you spastic. Come on, you guys are McShit. 375 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,400 (All gasp) 376 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,240 Give him the two-piece combo! 377 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:17,232 (All cheer) 378 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,280 (Grunts) 379 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,759 Not a malaka. 380 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,120 (All gasp) 381 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,200 (All whimper) 382 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,160 Sorry, man. Hey, it's cool. 383 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,520 I've got full comprehensive McSurance. 384 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,720 Yeah? (All gasp) 385 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,280 That's right in the McNuggets, mate. 386 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,159 SONG: ♪ Sick, mate! Sick! Subwoofer! ♪ 387 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:46,800 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 388 00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:49,280 (Rocky gasps) 389 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,840 Ooh, ooh, oh, yes! 390 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,520 I swear to God I got no drugs. 391 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:03,200 (Rocky screams and moans) 392 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,320 Um, what seems to be the problem, officer? 393 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,040 Sir, at that last stop sign, 394 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,440 you failed to come to a complete stop. 395 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,360 I'll have to issue you a ticket. 396 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,400 Come on, bro, I stopped, man. 397 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,320 I swear to God I stopped, Officer. 398 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:17,800 You slowed down, sir, 399 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:21,000 but you did not come to a complete stop. 400 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,200 Excuse me, sir, but I almost came to a complete stop, 401 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,480 and then I just accelerated I'm just quick. 402 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,920 What's the difference between coming to a complete stop 403 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,400 and almost stopping? 404 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,280 There's no difference, take it from me, 405 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:33,880 'cause I'm a top driver, mate. 406 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,760 (Girl squeals) 407 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,752 (Squeals and screams) 408 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,600 (Screams) 409 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:45,080 Now, sir, would you like me to slow down 410 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:47,440 or come to a complete stop? 411 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,120 (Screams) 412 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,720 This one's for September 11. 413 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,720 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 414 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:54,880 Hello. Fat Pizza pizzas. 415 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:56,560 They're big and they're cheesy. 416 00:19:56,560 --> 00:20:00,640 Hey, mate, we ordered pizzas 50 f—--ing minutes ago, 417 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:03,200 so where's the f—--ing food? 418 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,240 (All talk and swear) 419 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,440 Look, I'm really sorry. I've just started a new worker today. 420 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,320 He should be on his way. 421 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,920 SONG: ♪ Smoke more cones ♪ Smoke more cones... ♪ 422 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,400 ♪ Smoke more cones... ♪ 423 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,200 Oh, not the last mushroom! 424 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,600 ♪ Smoke more cones ♪ I said smoke more cones... ♪ 425 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,520 (DISTORTED MUSIC) 426 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,512 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC) 427 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,792 (GRUNGE MUSIC) 428 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,440 Ooh! Ooh! 429 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,432 ( ROMANTIC ITALIAN MUSIC) 430 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,680 (MUSIC STOPS) (Laughs) 431 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,911 Hey! Excuse me, buddy. 432 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:02,880 We're here looking for a little aggressive McBIoke 433 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,480 who wears a red McHat 434 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,840 and gives me the McF---ing shits. 435 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,911 Now does he work here? 436 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,796 (CHAINSAW ROARS ) 437 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,238 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 438 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,160 Yep? Hey, it's me, Ronnie. 439 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:24,160 Yep? 440 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,760 I want you to come around and McF--- up a little smart-arse 441 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:29,400 that insulted my franchise. 442 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,400 Yep. 443 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,560 Hey! I pay you a lot of money. I expect results. 444 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,198 What's the address? 445 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,912 (FUNKY MUSIC) 446 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,680 Poor Uncle Shiba. 447 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,600 Reduced to living at the drive-in 448 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,080 'cause he can't afford rent. 449 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,680 He has to go by the nightly ticket price 450 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,273 in his hokey motorhome, mate. 451 00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:55,240 I tell you what, Pauly. Very impressive diamond. 452 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,440 Is this real? Come on, it's from Bobo. 453 00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,640 It's gotta be fake. Oh, I thought so. 454 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,680 But it'll be safe with me, so don't worry. 455 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,240 Well, Shiba, you've 456 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,710 you know, you've done a top job decorating this van. 457 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:10,520 It mightn't look like it, 458 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,040 but I want you to know I'm very happy. 459 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:16,760 She got the house... she got the car... 460 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:19,520 Oh, yes! Yes! 461 00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:21,360 But she didn't get my pride. 462 00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:22,840 And guess what? 463 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,920 She didn't get the apple of my eye little Lino, your cousin. 464 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,560 (Cries) 465 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:33,920 Time flies. He's 2.5 now 2.5. 466 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,600 Oh! Oh, he's got an upset tummy. 467 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,840 I'll have to take you to the doctor's. 468 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,800 Shiba, mate, I'm low on petrol. Can I bludge some money? 469 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,120 Money? I've got no money, mate. I'm broke. 470 00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:46,880 But I tell you what, if you want some fuel, 471 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,400 why don't you siphon some out of the tank? 472 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,392 (FUNKY MUSIC) 473 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,320 Pauly, you idiot! What are you doing? 474 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,840 (Gasps) 475 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,639 That's not the fuel tank, that's the sewer tank! 476 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,280 (TYRES SQUEAL) 477 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,960 (Girl squeals) 478 00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,952 (ROMANTIC MUSIC) 479 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,070 Bobo, man, please stop looking at me like you want to root me. 480 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:39,080 Bobo, bro, man, I'm sorry I'm late, but the reason is... 481 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,560 Shut up! 482 00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,552 (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) 483 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,753 (MUSIC REACHES CRESCENDO) 484 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:52,911 (Girl whimpers and squeals) 485 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,552 (ROCK MUSIC ROARS) 486 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,640 Pizza! 487 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,480 Hello. 488 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,720 Hello! 489 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,199 Pizza! 490 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,079 Hello! Pizza! 491 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,840 Pizza! 492 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,600 SONG: ♪ Roots man at the control 493 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,680 ♪ Take me home 494 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,718 ♪ To where I belong 495 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,149 ♪ Where the roots man goes... ♪ 496 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,280 Shiba, mate, you were married. 497 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:50,280 What's a good wedding present for under 10 bucks? 498 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,396 I've got the perfect present, Pauly. 499 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,880 Get yourself a pouf. 500 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,320 Are you being serious, Shiba? 501 00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,200 A pouf, as in the gay people, like, funny-bunnies? 502 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:03,560 Oh, Pauly. No, a pouf is something you put your feet on. 503 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:05,040 It's a footstool. 504 00:25:05,040 --> 00:25:08,280 (JAUNTY MUSIC) 505 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:09,920 They call it a pouf. 506 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,399 A pouf'? 507 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:14,560 (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) 508 00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,440 (Man and woman moan and yell) 509 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:17,920 Who is it? Your lady? 510 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:19,520 Man, it's them fat chicks. 511 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,000 They keep stalking me, mate. 512 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,760 Which fat chicks? 513 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,240 Bro, I told you, man. 514 00:25:24,240 --> 00:25:25,720 To get the glamours, 515 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,240 I make friends with their fat-chick friends. 516 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:31,080 'Cause glamours always have fat-chick friends. 517 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:34,600 Then the fat-chick friends tell their friends, the glamours, 518 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,360 that I'm a top bloke. 519 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,520 Mate, I got the enemy working for me. 520 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,480 The trouble is, Habib, the fat chicks, 521 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,440 they still want to be friends, man. 522 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,280 But Sleekism's standards are too high. 523 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:48,600 In other words, if you're over 50 kilo, you gotta go. 524 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,080 Give me the number, yulla. 525 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,760 My standards start at 50kg. I'll give it to 'em. 526 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,239 (Knocks) Hello? 527 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,073 Pizza! 528 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:00,559 (BUBBLING NOISE) 529 00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:03,800 F---! 530 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:07,640 (HEAVY ROCK MUSIC) 531 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:11,640 SONG: ♪ Just tell me you're a doctor 532 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,234 ♪ 'Cause that's what I need 533 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,598 ♪ I'll give you some of my medicine 534 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,673 ♪ There are many, understand 535 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,400 ♪ If you call me the doctor... ♪ 536 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,200 Hey. (NEEDLE SCRATCHES RECORD) 537 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:35,192 (ROCK MUSIC) 538 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:42,833 (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) 539 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:45,920 Hello? Man, it's Pauly. 540 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:47,800 Now, listen... Er, excuse me, mate. 541 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:49,280 Hold on. Sorry. 542 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:50,873 I've got to get some change. 543 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,880 Yeah, um, now, tonight 544 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,040 Habib and me have organised a stripper for Bobo. 545 00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,000 So, what you're gonna have to do, man, is turn up. 546 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,160 You will have to pay lots of money 547 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:03,640 because you're the new bloke. 548 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,440 So don't forget that bring cash. 549 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:07,200 Actually, bring a credit card too, 550 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,960 because we might want these strippers 551 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,720 to do, like, extras and that. 552 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,320 I believe they have EFTPOS with them. 553 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,470 Anyway, I'll see you back at the shop. 554 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,269 What do you reckon we should do with him? 555 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,878 We kill him, I reckon. 556 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,360 Excuse me. 557 00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:30,600 Hi. 558 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:32,080 Mr Cones won't be long, 559 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,680 but would you like to wait in our office? 560 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,720 (Thinks) Hey, Pauly, remember rule number one, man 561 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,400 never go inside. 562 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:43,920 But come on, man, these are greenies they're into peace. 563 00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:46,320 Look. Look at that chick. Just look at her. 564 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,640 Look how good-looking she is. 565 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,480 Oh, we must go inside. 566 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,438 Yes, I would love to come inside. 567 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:57,512 (THRASH MUSIC) 568 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:19,950 (ENGINE REVS) 'Bye! 569 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,040 Ooh. 570 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:24,519 'Bye! 571 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,276 We'll find that p----. 572 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:34,396 Oh, sorry about the mess. We've just moved offices. 573 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,960 Hey, um, what kind of animal is this? 574 00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:41,880 Oh. Oh, that's the horner's rodent. 575 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:45,160 We thought it was extinct, but we found the last one. 576 00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:49,040 And now we're gonna clone it and revive the species. 577 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,920 That's interesting. Can't wait. 578 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,920 (Squeaks) 579 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:55,480 (Woman laughs) 580 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:57,720 I think he likes you. 581 00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:00,473 You have no idea how much I love the animals. 582 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:04,880 Oh, when they grow back, I might get one as a pet. 583 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:06,359 Oh. 584 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:31,040 (Rodent squeaks) 585 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,360 I know I should not have been looking, 586 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:36,520 but, man, it was like an eclipse of the sun. 587 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,272 It's bad for you to look... 588 00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:41,280 ...but you must keep looking. 589 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,759 (Rodent squeaks) 590 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,120 Arggh! 591 00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,600 (Yells and grunts) 592 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,080 (Gasps) 593 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,840 Arggh! 594 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:53,320 Stop it! 595 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:55,240 (Rodent squeaks) 596 00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:56,878 Oh, no. 597 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,360 Don't! 598 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:01,840 (Grunts) You idiot! 599 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,319 Arggh! 600 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:07,880 (Rodent squeaks) (Screams) 601 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,359 (Rodent squeaks) 602 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:13,639 (Gasps) 603 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:19,360 No! 604 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,880 (Screams) (Rodent squeaks) 605 00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:23,960 (Woman grunts) Go, Rocky. 606 00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:26,640 Yes! Yes! Give me some of the action. 607 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,200 Hi, Sleek. How are you? 608 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,040 How come you don't call us anymore for coffee? 609 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:34,440 Look, baby, please, I'm flat out. I'm really busy. 610 00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:36,680 Oh, come on, Sleek. 611 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:40,160 We only ordered this pizza 'cause we wanted to see you. 612 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:41,840 Why don't you call us anymore? 613 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,800 I swear to God, I will take you out one night. 614 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,280 I promise yulla, bro. 615 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,600 But what you gotta do is pay me, 616 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,320 'cause Habib's in the car waiting. 617 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:52,920 Sleeky, set me up, yulla. Set me up. 618 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:54,400 His grandmother's sick, man. 619 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,640 Like, she's about to die. We gotta take her to emergency. 620 00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,120 I've got a fat, yulla. A big fat. 621 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,960 Her insides have just fallen out or something. I swear. 622 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,439 (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) 623 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,560 Sleekism. 624 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,440 Ask her if she wants a root. 625 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,840 (TECHNO MUSIC) 626 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:14,720 SONG: ♪ Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat 627 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:15,120 ♪ Yeah, pizza... ♪ 628 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:16,360 ♪ Yeah, pizza... ♪ 629 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:17,960 (TRADITIONAL FOLK MUSIC) 630 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,032 ( VELCRO RIPS INCESSANTLY) 631 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:26,320 Hey, Bobo, I'm back. 632 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:28,720 You got any more pizzas for me to deliver? 633 00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,080 People love it. I'm ready to go, Bobo. 634 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,280 I can't hear you over this music. You got any more pizzas? 635 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:37,272 (GENTLE TRADITIONAL MUSIC CONTINUES ) 636 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:45,959 (TYRES SQUEAL) 637 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,798 That's my kind of worker. 638 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,600 Look, I was not calling you a poof. 639 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,360 You better keep walking, you homophobic little p----. 640 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,240 I was just buying a wedding present. 641 00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,040 Save your bulls---. I've been told they're poufs. 642 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:01,520 You little p----. 643 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,480 I'm not a homostobic, mate. Get out. 644 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,472 (FUNKY MUSIC) 645 00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:08,680 Ooh! 646 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:12,080 Oh, mate, I'm sorry. Are you alright? 647 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,040 Help me. He's trying to bushwhack me. 648 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:15,720 Untrue. I'm just getting a pouf. 649 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,480 Help! Relax. Relax. 650 00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:18,960 He's trying to kill me. 651 00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:20,439 Relax, mate. Urgh! 652 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,320 You low-life junkie piece of filth. 653 00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,000 You think you're tough trying to rob an old man. 654 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:27,920 You ain't getting my pension cheque. 655 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:29,800 Watch out, he's a homophobe. 656 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:33,760 Excuse me, I saw it all. He tried to steal his bag. 657 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,400 He doesn't even have a bag. 658 00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,560 What's this hokey festival here? 659 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:39,233 (Groans exaggeratedly) 660 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:47,880 Get out of here. Help! Help! 661 00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,359 You like buckets, do ya?! 662 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:55,760 There he is. 663 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:57,640 He's bashing someone DRESSED like an animal! 664 00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:01,000 He hates gay people. He hates sperm. 665 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:02,000 (Groans) 666 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,160 (All shout) 667 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:08,000 What the f--- is going on? I bought this stupid footstool. 668 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,720 Hey! 669 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,712 (ROCK MUSIC BLARES) 670 00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:18,400 SONG: ♪ He loves to dance and play those funny games 671 00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:21,320 ♪ Out of the rights of life whispering your name 672 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,880 ♪ Putting the smile away It's not a happy day 673 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:27,720 ♪ This is the way it goes It's just the way it goes 674 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,240 ♪ He's so happy 675 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,320 ♪ But that's not funny 676 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:36,320 ♪ Sodom the clown 677 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,960 ♪ Tries to bring us down 678 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:42,720 ♪ We laugh, we cry When it hurts we don't ask why 679 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:44,360 ♪ We laugh, we cry 680 00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,240 ♪ 'Cause our hearts don't want to die 681 00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:48,880 ♪ We laugh, we cry When it hurts we don't ask why 682 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:50,360 ♪ We laugh, we cry 683 00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,760 ♪ 'Cause our hearts don't want to die... ♪ 684 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,637 Oh. 685 00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:58,600 (DING!) 686 00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,600 Thanks, mate. 687 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:01,360 Hi, I'm Claudia Macpherson, supermodel, 688 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,760 Hi, I'm Claudia Macpherson, supermodel, 689 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:05,720 and this here is my new Abstiffy. 690 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,120 If you try it for one second a day, 691 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,240 you too will have abs like mine. 692 00:34:10,240 --> 00:34:13,440 Well, probably not. But let's give it a whirl anyway, shall we? 693 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:14,920 Oh, yes. 694 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,400 (Gasps) One... 695 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:18,879 ...and two... 696 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:21,999 ...and three... 697 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:25,999 ...and... 698 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,840 I've got a pizza here for David Cockerfield. 699 00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,520 David, the pizza's here. Can you deal with it? 700 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,400 I have to go to the bathroom. 701 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,392 (SPOOKY MUSIC) 702 00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:57,480 That's 13 bucks, thanks, mate. 703 00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,472 (MAGICAL MUSIC) 704 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:06,320 Are you that magician on TV David Cockerfield? 705 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,312 (MAGICAL MUSIC) 706 00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:17,960 (Gasps) 707 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:20,120 How many f—--ing times have I said 708 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:22,509 not to use those stupid magic tricks on me? 709 00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,039 Wanker. 710 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:33,600 I slowed down put the music on now. 711 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,320 Slow down... Shut up! 712 00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:36,320 ...wanker. 713 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,920 Give me the music. Slow down. 714 00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:39,399 Shut up! (CRASH! ) 715 00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:44,880 Emergency airbag initiated. 716 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:48,080 I knew I shouldn't have got Habib to put the airbags in. 717 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:49,639 I don't want these bags. 718 00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:58,280 Are you...are youse OK? 719 00:35:58,280 --> 00:35:59,760 Yeah. 720 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,880 I think we're OK. 721 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:03,520 Just remember, this was your fault, 722 00:36:03,520 --> 00:36:06,000 'cause youse run out clearly onto the road, 723 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,200 and cars have the right of way, mate. 724 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,431 That's alright, brother. We forgive you. 725 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,400 Jesus forgives you. 726 00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:15,880 Yeah? 727 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,040 Well, that's good, because, like, er, 728 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,440 I mean, God would know I have no insurance, 729 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,720 so, um, I'll leave youse to it. 730 00:36:22,720 --> 00:36:24,880 See you later, God and all that. Bye. 731 00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:26,360 Hey. 732 00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,200 It would be great if you could make a donation. 733 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,560 We've got a portable electronic swiper. 734 00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:35,315 We take MasterCard, Visa, and, of course, American Express. 735 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,240 Would youse take this as a donation? 736 00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:41,760 I mean, it's gotta keep you off the kids. It's good. 737 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:44,720 (FUNKY MUSIC) 738 00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:47,920 Get out of here, will ya? Go back to Boganville. 739 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,440 Sleeky, we gotta go, man. We gotta do that thing for Bobo. 740 00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:54,000 No worries, Habib. Yulla. 'Bye. 741 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:55,560 Hey, bro. Hey, bro. 742 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:58,400 Yeah, I'm Dave. Dave D'mkum. 743 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:01,880 Fair dinkum. I'm Sleek. 744 00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:03,880 Did you say Slick? 745 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:06,280 Nah, Sleek. It's my rap name. 746 00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,400 I'm a rapper, man. Ah, rap's cool. 747 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:09,880 Why Sleek? 748 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:13,440 Because I'm slicker than slick and very quick and full of sick. 749 00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:14,920 Oh, fully? 750 00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,196 Sick. The sickest, actually, man. 751 00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:25,712 (TANGO MUSIC) 752 00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,391 SLEEK: Bobo, any orders, bro? 753 00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:45,199 Hey, Bobo! 754 00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,039 Shut up! 755 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:57,920 And fight fans eager for the so-called Thriller in St Kilda. 756 00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,400 Heavyweight champion Lennox Blewis 757 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:04,120 will take on underdog Rocky Ramboa. 758 00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,520 I'm gonna win, do you know what I mean? 759 00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:08,680 I'm gonna probably put him down in two. 760 00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:12,040 You know, Rocky...he ain't gonna win, you know what I mean? 761 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:13,920 Yeah? You know what I mean? Yeah? 762 00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:18,720 (Speaks indistinctly) 763 00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:20,200 (Switches channel) 764 00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:21,680 CLAUDIA: And one... 765 00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:23,160 Oh, yes. 766 00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,520 ...and two... 767 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,400 ...and three. 768 00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:29,640 I did it. Three! 769 00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:31,119 Oh, baby. 770 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:35,312 The Claudia Macpherson Abstiffy. Have you got one yet? 771 00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:37,953 Habib, yulla, man. Shh. 772 00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,520 Habib, they're blacker than my soot, man. 773 00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:48,033 That's true. 774 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:04,560 Far out. Did you know there's a platypus on our 20 cent piece? 775 00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,800 Platypus? Mate, don't worry about that, bro. 776 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,920 Real pussy, you get that doing pizza deliveries, mate. 777 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:13,160 (Screams) (Yells indistinctly) 778 00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,320 Yes! Yes! 779 00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,320 (Moans) Tell me I'm good, baby. 780 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,720 You're so good. Yeah, I know. 781 00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:21,200 Yeah! 782 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,000 And my favourite, Daniel, is Lisa the Lebbo. 783 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:27,680 Bro, when I give it to her, it's like a war in Lebanon. 784 00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:29,080 (Screams) 785 00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:32,360 But don't ever tell her brothers, man. They'd kill me. 786 00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,200 It's a Lebanese thing, bro. 787 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,360 Aussies don't understand. 788 00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,520 Youse think it's alright to root each other's sisters. 789 00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:41,480 Oh, yeah! (Gasps) 790 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:42,960 And get this, man. 791 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:45,920 My mate Habib, he videotapes all the sex that I perform 792 00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:49,120 the girls don't even know and he puts it on the Internet. 793 00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:51,200 (Whoops) 794 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:54,192 (TRADITIONAL FOLK MUSIC) 795 00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:04,000 Hey, Bobo. 796 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:07,120 Man, has your mail orgy bride got off the boat yet? 797 00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,600 I bet those stamps are the first thing you' ve licked in a while. 798 00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:12,560 (Dave and Sleek laugh) 799 00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:15,160 (Both scream) 800 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:16,640 (HORN SOUNDS) 801 00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:20,918 (Man rants indistinctly) 802 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:23,593 Come back here, you mongrels. 803 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:28,839 Psst. Psst. Yulla. 804 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,120 Come on. Shh. 805 00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:36,840 SONG: ♪ It's the gangster here 806 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,200 ♪ Gangster. What? What? Gangster here 807 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:44,320 ♪ Banging in my ride On the west side 808 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,160 ♪ It's the gangster here 809 00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,480 ♪ Gangster. What? What? Gangster here 810 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:53,760 ♪ Banging in my ride On the west side 811 00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:56,000 ♪ Let me say what you are 812 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,280 ♪ Let me see what you are 813 00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:00,440 ♪ See what, see what See what... ♪ 814 00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,840 Oh my God, he's got a prostitute. 815 00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,240 SONG: ♪ Gee, what? Gee, what? Gee, what? 816 00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:07,629 ♪ Let me say what you are... ♪ 817 00:41:08,720 --> 00:41:10,440 One more time. 818 00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:11,920 Oh, yes. Again. 819 00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:13,797 And one more time. Come on. Ooh. 820 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:16,520 That is it. 821 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,880 Do you think this is gonna work, man? 822 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:21,240 Of course it's gonna work. 823 00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:24,320 This camera, mate, it's gonna send pictures to the Internet 824 00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:27,000 so Bobo can see what these guys are up to. 825 00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:28,480 What a top idea, huh? 826 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:29,960 Baby, this is it. 827 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:31,440 He's coming. This is it. 828 00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,114 I want you to stand over here for me, please. 829 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:36,799 Turn it off. Shh. 830 00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:40,920 ( CRACK! ) OK, baby, listen. 831 00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:42,400 It's all your fault. 832 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,000 You hit me. You hit me. 833 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:45,480 Shut up. Why hit me? 834 00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:47,400 You dropped it. But why hit me? 835 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:48,880 Don't talk back. 836 00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:50,800 And maybe even say the word 'pussy'. 837 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,160 I love the word 'pussy'. Fabulous word, 'pussy'. 838 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,600 Better than 'piss', 's---' and 'arse'. 839 00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:59,680 'Pussy' is the best word. Pussy. Pussy, pussy, pussy. 840 00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:01,680 It excites me. Very, very exciting. 841 00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:03,840 What are you doing? What are you doing? 842 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,520 All this talk of pussy, I want to touch one. 843 00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:08,000 'Pussy' that's the word. 844 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:09,480 Come on, have some pizza. 845 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,280 Look, mate, I'll do what you f—--ing want, 846 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,560 but this f—--ing pizza's making me sick. 847 00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,200 Just eat it. Eat it. 848 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:17,720 It's the best. 849 00:42:17,720 --> 00:42:20,838 Hey, bro. What did you do before pizzas? 850 00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:25,558 Well, before this... (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) 851 00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:29,840 Fat chicks. 852 00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:31,560 Sorry, man, where were you? 853 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:33,040 Well, before this 854 00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:36,080 I was pretty much into drugs for a long time. 855 00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:39,240 Nothing hard. Pot, mainly. 856 00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:42,840 SONG: ♪ Yeah The smoke was mean at Engadine 857 00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,400 ♪ And the smoke was good at Rivenlvood... ♪ 858 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:50,240 Then I got into religion just to get off the gear. 859 00:42:50,240 --> 00:42:53,800 (All) Shari Krishna. Shari Krishna. 860 00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,480 It was a bad idea. 861 00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:58,040 (EASTERN MUSIC) 862 00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:00,120 (AIR HORN PLAYS TUNE) 863 00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:01,599 (Laughs) 864 00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,480 Well, then I got back into pot. 865 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,400 I was so disillusioned with the Sharis. 866 00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,080 They were so...disillusioning. 867 00:43:12,080 --> 00:43:14,310 Alright, junkies, nobody move. 868 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:17,320 I said, no-one move. 869 00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:19,914 Thommo, relax. They're not moving. 870 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:25,200 For the heinous crime 871 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,840 of possessing the narcotic, cannabis, 872 00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:33,080 I sentence you to six years detention. 873 00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:36,080 But due to overcrowding in the jails, 874 00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,520 you may serve your time on work release. 875 00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:44,280 So they put me on work release here, for the next six years. 876 00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:45,920 That's tough, bro. 877 00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:49,360 Man, if you ever need anything to help you through the stress, 878 00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:51,760 my mate Habib, he's got the sickest buds, man. 879 00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:53,558 He'll hook you up, mate. Sick. 880 00:43:54,560 --> 00:43:57,320 Leave her. Let me have just one touch. 881 00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:59,240 Oh, my God, I can't control myself. 882 00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:00,880 Let me have a look, man. 883 00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:03,040 Have a look, but don't touch. 884 00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,360 That f—--ing pizza's making me sick. 885 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,520 No way. No way. 886 00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:10,040 It's definitely not my nutritious tandoori pizza. 887 00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:11,520 No bloody way. 888 00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:14,120 Now, come on, say the word 'pussy' again. 889 00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,077 (Farts loudly) 890 00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:20,240 Eugh! What the f---? (Both groan) 891 00:44:20,240 --> 00:44:22,960 (Speaks indistinctly) 892 00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:25,640 It tastes like an off kebab. I'm out of here. 893 00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,640 SONG: ♪ Sick, mate, sick! Subwoofer! 894 00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:30,160 ♪ Sick, mate, sick! 895 00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:31,640 ♪ Subwoofer! ♪ 896 00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:34,632 (TRADITIONAL FOLK MUSIC) 897 00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,480 Hey, what time are we going to surprise Bobo 898 00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:39,960 with the stripper tonight? 899 00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,560 Pauly, bro, I don't know if I'm going yet. 900 00:44:42,560 --> 00:44:44,440 Habib always gets them fat strippers, mate. 901 00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,238 Remember Rocky's 21st? 902 00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,871 SONG: ♪ Well, my fate... ♪ 903 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:56,119 (All scream) 904 00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:58,520 Arggh! 905 00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,160 Sleek, you have to come, mate. 906 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,040 You're the only groomsman. 907 00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:06,000 I only said I would do it in the first place 908 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,440 because Bobo said I could have a day off. 909 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:09,920 Look, man, can you please 910 00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:11,840 just get into this wedding thing properly? 911 00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,520 Look, I know you're a funny-bunny and it's hard, 912 00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:16,400 but this is a heterosexual tradition, mate. 913 00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:17,879 This is what we do. 914 00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,400 Sleek, what are you doing, man? 915 00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:36,240 Dave, I just wanted to let you know, mate, a small warning. 916 00:45:36,240 --> 00:45:39,760 Beware of Sleek. He's one of them both-a-sexuals. 917 00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:42,360 He likes to do it with men and women. 918 00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:44,200 But he won't admit it, mate. 919 00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,400 Come on, man. As if I'm gay, bro. 920 00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,800 Oh, well, let me refresh your memory, Sleek, 921 00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,280 to that time we played tackle football 922 00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:53,320 and you turned it into touch. 923 00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:56,278 Get up. What are you doing? 924 00:45:57,640 --> 00:45:59,472 Get up. (All shout) 925 00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:03,160 Hey! 926 00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:06,240 I'm not paying you bludgers three bucks an hour 927 00:46:06,240 --> 00:46:08,400 to sit on your arses! 928 00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:11,560 (OPERATIC MUSIC) 929 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,040 (All shout) 930 00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:16,032 (OPERATIC MUSIC CONTINUES) 931 00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,677 Bugger. (Woman screams) 932 00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:27,069 Oh, double bugger. Hey, mate. Mate. 933 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:31,120 You haven't seen a bunch of slope-eyed reffos, have you? 934 00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:32,720 They just stole me ute. 935 00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:36,395 F---! Just what we need more f—--ing Asian drivers! 936 00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:39,400 (Sighs) What the f--- happened to you? 937 00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:40,880 Kangaroo, mate. 938 00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:42,560 Yeah. Well, that happens, doesn't it? 939 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:44,039 Fair enough. 940 00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:45,679 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 941 00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:49,720 Fat Pizza pizzas. They're big and they're cheesy. 942 00:46:49,720 --> 00:46:52,120 (SIREN WAILS) Bobo, I found phone. 943 00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:55,078 It's me, Lin Chow. I come your house. 944 00:46:56,320 --> 00:46:59,000 Hello! Kiss-kiss, love-love. 945 00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:05,235 SONG: ♪ Enchanted I'm caught by surprise 946 00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:10,911 ♪ Watching the light in your eyes 947 00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:15,240 ♪ You smile and heaven must be... ♪ 948 00:47:15,240 --> 00:47:16,799 Arggh! 949 00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:20,800 (Screams repeatedly) 950 00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,360 She's coming. 951 00:47:23,360 --> 00:47:24,839 I've wanted to see you. 952 00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:27,956 Hey, excuse me, Sleek. 953 00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:31,080 (Cries) 954 00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:36,880 ♪ The thrill of your fingers in mine... ♪ 955 00:47:36,880 --> 00:47:40,236 (Growls ferociously) 956 00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:43,999 Arggh! Arggh! 957 00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,040 (Dog whimpers) 958 00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:50,032 (CONFUSED HUBBUB) 959 00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:54,080 (Rings doorbell) 960 00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:56,360 Aha! 961 00:47:56,360 --> 00:48:03,391 ♪ To find your soul in a kiss... ♪ 962 00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:07,872 (CONFUSED HUBBUB CONTINUES) 963 00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:13,040 ♪ That's said and yet somehow not heard... ♪ 964 00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:15,240 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 965 00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:18,160 Fat Pizza pizzas. They're big and they're cheesy. 966 00:48:18,160 --> 00:48:22,080 Please don't marry this Chinesie. 967 00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:26,040 Let me get you a good Italian girl. 968 00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:29,720 Mama, I love you, but all the Italian girls you got me, 969 00:48:29,720 --> 00:48:31,280 they were no good. 970 00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:36,160 ♪ La, la, la, la, la... ♪ 971 00:48:36,160 --> 00:48:37,800 (WARNING BELLS RING) 972 00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:39,720 Mama, listen. 973 00:48:39,720 --> 00:48:41,400 I'm closing the shop early tonight, 974 00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:44,760 so that I can get it nice and clean for Lin Chow. 975 00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:46,240 She's gonna work here too. 976 00:48:46,240 --> 00:48:49,471 Now, Mama, promise me you'll be nice when she gets there. 977 00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:52,120 You bitch! 978 00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:54,320 (Screams) 979 00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,400 Puttana! 980 00:48:56,400 --> 00:49:00,155 You give me my Bobo back! (Screams) 981 00:49:02,720 --> 00:49:05,600 (Thinks) I hope Lin Chow's beautiful in person, 982 00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:07,800 just like Claudia. 983 00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:10,080 (DISCO MUSIC) Oh, yeah! 984 00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:13,280 Oh, yeah! 985 00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:15,120 Yeah! 986 00:49:15,120 --> 00:49:19,040 (DREAMY MUSIC) 987 00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:22,032 (RAUNCHY MUSIC) 988 00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:34,520 No more orders today. We're closing early. 989 00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:36,400 What's going on? 990 00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:39,480 Lin Chow's off the boat. 991 00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:40,960 I'm getting married. 992 00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:43,360 Look, Bobo, man, I'm very glad for you, 993 00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:45,720 with your wedding being organised now that's good. 994 00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:47,440 But we've got a problem. 995 00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,640 We went to lots of trouble for tonight. 996 00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:51,240 You can't close the shop, man. 997 00:49:51,240 --> 00:49:54,200 We've got chicks coming. We've got a buck's party for you. 998 00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,680 Don't want one. You're joking. 999 00:49:56,680 --> 00:49:59,080 Bobo, I know it's just my first day here, 1000 00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:01,760 but it's your last few hours as a free man. 1001 00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:05,040 It'd be wrong not to get pissed with naked chicks. 1002 00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:06,080 Shut up! 1003 00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:08,560 Very un-Australian of you, mate.Very un-Australian. 1004 00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:11,000 I'm very disappointed...mate. Shut up! 1005 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:13,960 Look, the only reason I did your whole best man thing 1006 00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:16,920 was to get to the buck's party for the nude chicks. 1007 00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:19,320 If that's out, mate, then, look, I'm not involved. 1008 00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:21,920 We're not working. I'm making a strike, mate. 1009 00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:25,080 No work, nothing! I want to see the nude chicks, man. 1010 00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:27,400 Bobo, bro, you better see some pussy 1011 00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:28,880 before you get married, mate. 1012 00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:31,600 You don't even know what it looks, or smells, like, 1013 00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:34,760 and take it from me, man it's a jungle down there. 1014 00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:38,400 Um, excuse me, who is the owner of this very establishment? 1015 00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:40,120 I am. 1016 00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,320 Who wants to know? 1017 00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:44,000 I'm from the Department of Health. 1018 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:45,920 We call this a 'spot check'. 1019 00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:48,520 Bobo, I gotta use the toilet, man. 1020 00:50:48,520 --> 00:50:52,280 Any paper you use, Sleek, you pay for it. 1021 00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:56,120 Yeah, I know. $1 a sheet. Go on. 1022 00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,589 (CHIRPING) 1023 00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:04,240 Foreign articles in prepared food. 1024 00:51:04,240 --> 00:51:05,840 That's eight demerit points. 1025 00:51:05,840 --> 00:51:07,680 How long is this gonna take? 1026 00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:09,320 Statistically speaking, 1027 00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:11,400 the mean average for any atypical inspection 1028 00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:13,720 is around five to six hours. 1029 00:51:13,720 --> 00:51:15,400 But this one could take longer. 1030 00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:17,720 Hey, Bobo, how 'bout this... this bloke 1031 00:51:17,720 --> 00:51:19,760 finishes all the inspectionalising, 1032 00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,000 then we get the strippers in 1033 00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:25,277 and then, like, it's the nipples...you know? 1034 00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:29,680 Hey, Sleek, man, you gonna come out with us for some drinks 1035 00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:31,160 before the strippers later? 1036 00:51:31,160 --> 00:51:32,880 Yeah, Pauly, but, hey, man, 1037 00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:35,440 only if we go to the Falgudo Club, bro. 1038 00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:37,880 (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) 1039 00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:39,440 Lebanese lover. 1040 00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:41,360 Hey, Tina, how are you, baby? 1041 00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:44,800 You know I love you, heaps. (Farts) 1042 00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:47,000 Yeah, I'm thinking about you right now, babe. 1043 00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:49,760 Right now, as we speak. (Farts noisily) 1044 00:51:49,760 --> 00:51:52,320 Oh, God. 1045 00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:55,160 I have put the camera in the wrong position. 1046 00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:58,360 This tells us nothing about their business activities. 1047 00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:00,000 (Farts) 1048 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,960 Oh, shut up! 1049 00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,240 SONG: ♪ Oh, yeah, babe ♪ Come on 1050 00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:06,440 ♪ I know what you want ♪ Give it to me 1051 00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:07,840 ♪ Just dial my number 1052 00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,120 ♪ I'm the pizza man ♪ Come on 1053 00:52:10,120 --> 00:52:12,040 ♪ Call that pizza ♪ Call me 1054 00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:14,680 ♪ Call that pizza man ♪ He's the man 1055 00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:16,680 ♪ Call that pizza 1056 00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:19,120 ♪ 'Cause I'm in demand ♪ Give it up 1057 00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:23,360 ♪ Call that pizza Call that pizza man 1058 00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:25,840 ♪ Come on, call that pizza 1059 00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:27,480 ♪ 'Cause I'm in demand 1060 00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:30,360 ♪ I'll give it to you hot and piping, quick like lightning 1061 00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:33,120 ♪ Banging on your door like it's so frightening 1062 00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:34,600 ♪ You want the lot, rely on me 1063 00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,240 ♪ I'm right on time with the delivery 1064 00:52:37,240 --> 00:52:39,360 ♪ On the phone to Uncle What will it be? 1065 00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:41,640 ♪ Get it fresh That's work from AB 1066 00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:43,600 ♪ How much you want? Quick to the spot 1067 00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:45,840 ♪ Whether you want a little Whether you want a lot 1068 00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:47,760 ♪ It's me... ♪ 1069 00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,560 We are not stooges anymore. 1070 00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:53,360 J" Pump the juice, push flavour It's me they want 1071 00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:55,080 ♪ Pizza boy, no front 1072 00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:57,520 ♪ I got the hot box 1073 00:52:57,520 --> 00:52:59,720 ♪ Let me give it up ♪ You gotta give it up, baby 1074 00:52:59,720 --> 00:53:02,000 ♪ I want your hot box 1075 00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,280 ♪ Let me give it up 1076 00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,520 ♪ Call that pizza 1077 00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:08,800 ♪ Call that pizza man ♪ Call me up 1078 00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:11,040 ♪ Call that pizza 1079 00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:14,000 ♪ 'Cause I'm in demand... ♪ (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) 1080 00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:16,760 Habib, man, what is it, bro? I'm in the shower. 1081 00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,760 Guess what I put the condom on nice and early 1082 00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,440 just in case I get some action with the chicks. 1083 00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:24,000 Hey, these are really good. 1084 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:25,480 I've been reading the packet. 1085 00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:29,440 It says here it stops dick and pussy diseases. 1086 00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:31,000 SONG: ♪ Sick, mate, sick! ♪ 1087 00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:33,000 (DOORBELL RINGS) 1088 00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:34,480 (Sobs) 1089 00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:37,472 (FOREBODING MUSIC) 1090 00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,080 We look for Bobo. 1091 00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:44,994 (JAUNTY MUSIC) 1092 00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:47,200 SONG: ♪ Where's the chicks? Where's the chicks? 1093 00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:48,400 ♪ Where's the chicks? 1094 00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:50,640 (Women sing) ♪ Here we are! Here we are! ♪ 1095 00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:52,600 Chicks, chicks, chicks! Chicks! Chicks! 1096 00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:55,560 (All shout) 1097 00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:57,040 ♪ Here we are! Here we are! ♪ 1098 00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:59,000 Oh, yeah! 1099 00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,160 ♪ We might be so good together, boy 1100 00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:04,320 ♪ Don't make me wait forever... ♪ 1101 00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:05,800 Oh, my God! 1102 00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:09,120 ♪ I don't know what you've been hearing, boy... ♪ 1103 00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:10,554 That's bullshit! 1104 00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:15,840 No, no, mate! 1105 00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:17,920 Don't give him any money. No, mate! 1106 00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:20,560 (All shout) Go get him, man! 1107 00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:23,280 Mate, you stooge. We said no! Come here, man! 1108 00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:24,920 We don't want it, mate! 1109 00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:27,150 (All shout) 1110 00:54:29,720 --> 00:54:32,000 (All laugh) 1111 00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:33,911 One more? ALL: Yeah! 1112 00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:37,080 (All cheer) 1113 00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:40,120 SONG: ♪ Chicks, chicks, chicks Chicks, chicks, chicks 1114 00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:41,760 ♪ Chick, chicks, chicks... ♪ 1115 00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:43,831 Hey, wait a minute. 1116 00:54:45,720 --> 00:54:47,720 (All cheer) ( BELL RINGS ) 1117 00:54:47,720 --> 00:54:49,279 (All gasp) 1118 00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:52,200 SONG: ♪ Chicks, chicks Chicks... ♪ 1119 00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:53,680 (Mumbles) 1120 00:54:53,680 --> 00:54:56,320 (Mumbles) Come on, man. What are you doing? 1121 00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:57,800 Idiot! 1122 00:54:57,800 --> 00:55:01,236 ( ROMANTIC ITALIAN MUSIC) 1123 00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:04,880 The placing of used contraceptive devices 1124 00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:07,480 in prepared food is expressly forbidden. 1125 00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,869 That's 50 demerit points. (TELEPHONE RINGS) 1126 00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:13,000 We're closed. 1127 00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:15,320 Bobo, you listen to your mama. 1128 00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:18,440 Your Chinesie is here, and you know something? 1129 00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:22,640 She bring the whole bloody country with her. 1130 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:24,680 (DANCE MUSIC) 1131 00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:27,360 Hey, no smoking in this club, mate. 1132 00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:31,240 They're not smokes, man. They're condoms. 1133 00:55:31,240 --> 00:55:32,958 I'm getting ready for the chicks. 1134 00:55:33,960 --> 00:55:35,473 Yeah, yeah, alright. Go on. 1135 00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:39,115 Uh-uh. No hats allowed in this club. 1136 00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,080 Oh, come on, man. 1137 00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:45,120 Look, there was two of 'em just walked in wearing hats. 1138 00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:46,600 Yeah, alright. You're too short. 1139 00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:51,240 And you're...you're an Aussie. Oh... 1140 00:55:51,240 --> 00:55:53,231 Get. Get! 1141 00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,352 (DANCE MUSIC) 1142 00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:09,120 (Man sings) ♪ Bass 1143 00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:16,473 ♪ Bass 1144 00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:22,473 ♪ Touch the sky Bass 1145 00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:28,320 ♪ I don't know why Bass... ♪ 1146 00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:29,833 (DOG BARKS) 1147 00:56:33,240 --> 00:56:34,720 ♪ Touch the sky Bass 1148 00:56:34,720 --> 00:56:37,200 ♪ I don't know why sometimes you don't want to touch the sky 1149 00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:38,200 ♪ Bass 1150 00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:41,680 ♪ I don't know why sometimes you don't want to touch the sky 1151 00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:43,920 ♪ I don't know why sometimes you don't want to touch the sky 1152 00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:44,920 ♪ Bass 1153 00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:47,960 ♪ I don't know why sometimes you don't want to touch the sky 1154 00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:49,837 ♪ Bass... ♪ 1155 00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:55,560 (Dog whimpers) 1156 00:56:55,560 --> 00:56:59,235 (Dog whimpers and growls) 1157 00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:03,800 Look, don't even worry about that Falgudo Club, man. 1158 00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:05,680 There's too many guys in there anyway. 1159 00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:07,880 Look, what we need is a top club 1160 00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:11,400 with a ratio of, what, you know, three chicks to every one guy, 1161 00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:13,360 and chicks that like short and tall. 1162 00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:14,840 What about this place? 1163 00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:17,992 (JAUNTY MUSIC) 1164 00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,597 I just like chicks. Is that wrong? 1165 00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,920 Sorry, boys, it's short night tonight. 1166 00:57:59,920 --> 00:58:05,040 Oh, well, look, you know, he's tall, definitely, but I'm short. 1167 00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:08,080 Yeah, sorry, mate, not short enough. 1168 00:58:08,080 --> 00:58:11,072 (TECHNO MUSIC) 1169 00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:18,679 Arggh! 1170 00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:24,560 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 1171 00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:26,040 I couldn't help wondering 1172 00:58:26,040 --> 00:58:28,480 do you ever get any negative feedback from customers? 1173 00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:29,959 (Shouts) No! 1174 00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:33,480 We're closed. 1175 00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:34,959 (Speaks foreign language) 1176 00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:49,792 (CHAINSAW ROARS ) 1177 00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:55,120 Eh? 1178 00:58:55,120 --> 00:58:57,560 Insensitivity to the culinary tastes 1179 00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:00,080 of ethnic and/or religious groups. 1180 00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:01,680 That's eight demerit points. 1181 00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:04,000 You're not travelling too well here. 1182 00:59:04,000 --> 00:59:06,960 I swear, the midgets, they were much stronger than they looked. 1183 00:59:06,960 --> 00:59:08,439 Hey! 1184 00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:12,840 Must be one of them, like, celebrity parties and that. 1185 00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:14,680 (All shout) 1186 00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:17,399 Hey, look at this, who's getting out of that car. 1187 00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:22,080 Mate, it's that magician, David Cockerfield. 1188 00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:24,280 I know. I took him a pizza today. 1189 00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:25,920 You delivered it to him? Seriously? 1190 00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:27,800 Yeah, and his girlfriend Claudia, the supermodel. 1191 00:59:27,800 --> 00:59:30,320 He's not going out with Claudia, is he?! 1192 00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:33,120 How do these magicians get the good-looking chicks? 1193 00:59:33,120 --> 00:59:36,600 Alright, they got hocus-pocus, but basically, they're nerds. 1194 00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:40,480 Look at him. You're a nerd, Cockerfield! 1195 00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:43,560 Yeah, come on, mate, do magic on me. 1196 00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:46,240 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 1197 00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:48,320 You're a nerd, mate. 1198 00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:51,312 (DANCE MUSIC) 1199 00:59:54,680 --> 00:59:56,800 (FARTING NOISE) 1200 00:59:56,800 --> 01:00:00,920 Oh, yeah! Oh! Oh, yeah. 1201 01:00:00,920 --> 01:00:03,240 (Farts) Habib, what do you want, man?! 1202 01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:04,913 F--- off! (Farts) Piss off! 1203 01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:09,434 Yulla! Give it to me, yeah! 1204 01:00:10,480 --> 01:00:13,560 (Woman gasps) Habib, how are you, bro? 1205 01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:15,600 Go for it, Sleeky, go for it. 1206 01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:19,400 Any hole's a goal, Habib. Give her one for me. Slam her. 1207 01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:21,640 Habib, f--- off, man, or you'll get wet. 1208 01:00:21,640 --> 01:00:22,880 (Both gasp) 1209 01:00:22,880 --> 01:00:26,480 Alright, what we do, we just go in, act important, alright? 1210 01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:28,320 Important. Like celebrities. 1211 01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:29,799 Let's go. 1212 01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:35,440 MAN: Who have we got here? (All chatter) 1213 01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:37,200 MAN: I think that's Jeff Fenech. 1214 01:00:37,200 --> 01:00:39,960 Can I have your names, please? 1215 01:00:39,960 --> 01:00:43,440 Um, yes, we are on the list. We are famous boxers. (Stammers) 1216 01:00:43,440 --> 01:00:46,360 This is champion from Sweden, Hans, 1217 01:00:46,360 --> 01:00:50,480 and I am Jeff Fenech, five, um and er, world times, 1218 01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,357 um and er, Aussie champion. 1219 01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:56,471 Hey, you're Jeff Fenech? 1220 01:00:57,880 --> 01:01:00,440 I love youse all...um and er. 1221 01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:03,160 SONG: ♪ Sick, mate, sick! Subwoofer! ♪ 1222 01:01:03,160 --> 01:01:07,840 OK, come on. What's the word? The very special word? 1223 01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:12,000 My favourite word, it's... pussy. 1224 01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:13,480 (Both gasp) 1225 01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:16,760 That's the word, pussy. Whoo! 1226 01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:18,720 Say it in any style, it's pussy. 1227 01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:20,160 (Both gasp) 1228 01:01:20,160 --> 01:01:22,600 Because we are the masters, the masters of... 1229 01:01:22,600 --> 01:01:26,120 (Both gasp and squeal) Pussy. Pussy, pussy, pussy. 1230 01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:27,600 (Squeals) Oh, yeah. 1231 01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:30,640 (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) 1232 01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:34,000 (Squeals) Lebanese lover. 1233 01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,200 Hello, Sleek. Hi. 1234 01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:38,960 (Squeals) Who was that? My grandmother. 1235 01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:42,000 She just got back from Lebanon I gotta pick her up, 1236 01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:44,680 so, babe, sorry, but we gotta make this a quickie. 1237 01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:47,760 (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) Hello! 1238 01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:50,840 Pauly! It's Habib. Are you there? Where are you? 1239 01:01:50,840 --> 01:01:54,040 Yeah, I don't know. Where are we, man? There's a building. 1240 01:01:54,040 --> 01:01:57,880 Um, there's a bar. Pauly, man, hey! 1241 01:01:57,880 --> 01:02:01,840 Habib, what was going on with this Falgudo Club, man? 1242 01:02:01,840 --> 01:02:04,560 Don't worry about the Falgudo Club, man, it's shit. 1243 01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:06,280 There's cops, there's dogs, 1244 01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:09,320 and Rocky and Sleeky, they're rooting glamours, mate. 1245 01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:10,880 (Screams) 1246 01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:12,440 (Shouts) Sucked in, Habib! 1247 01:02:12,440 --> 01:02:14,680 I know a place with heaps of chicks. 1248 01:02:14,680 --> 01:02:16,159 Do they root? 1249 01:02:17,840 --> 01:02:20,719 (FUNKY MUSIC) 1250 01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:29,480 Wrestler's Arms, thanks, mate. 1251 01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:32,280 Wicked cab. It's a made-to-score cab, man. 1252 01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:35,240 Pauly, this taxi's unbelievable. 1253 01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:37,920 We should stay here, man, it's better than a nightclub. 1254 01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:41,640 Come on, man, no, I want to go somewhere where there's chicks. 1255 01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:43,800 I'm sick of the chicks in the city. 1256 01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:46,000 I want to go back to Surfers Paradise. 1257 01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:49,640 That was a top trip. I loved it. It was a top trip. 1258 01:02:49,640 --> 01:02:51,160 (Girls gasp) You're so good. 1259 01:02:51,160 --> 01:02:53,400 Sleek, come on, man, let me in. 1260 01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:57,189 Come on. I swear to God I won't premature ejaculate this time. 1261 01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:01,040 Look what the chicks are doing to Sleeky. 1262 01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:03,960 (SQUIRT! ) I think I've come. 1263 01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:06,520 Yeah, I never made it as far as Surfers. 1264 01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:08,840 Nimbin was wicked, though. Phwoar. 1265 01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:11,840 (LAIDBACK MUSIC) 1266 01:03:11,840 --> 01:03:13,717 How good is this? 1267 01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:18,520 Well, I'm glad youse have all had a good time 1268 01:03:18,520 --> 01:03:20,000 with the Queensland's chicks, 1269 01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:23,000 because I wanted to go and have a good time too, 1270 01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:25,520 but who stooged me, Habib? 1271 01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:27,720 Paulie, that's the gap there, man. 1272 01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:29,360 You gotta go through 1273 01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:32,320 and pretend you belong there, alright? 1274 01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:35,440 It's a top scam, I swear. I'll see you in Surfers. 1275 01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:39,120 (ACTION MUSIC) 1276 01:03:39,120 --> 01:03:41,520 Habib told me it was the first-class door 1277 01:03:41,520 --> 01:03:44,400 I just had to walk in and I'd get upgraded. 1278 01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:46,640 So, man, I snuck in, I tried it, 1279 01:03:46,640 --> 01:03:49,792 and I have to admit, at first, I thought it worked. 1280 01:03:51,120 --> 01:03:54,590 Excuse me, sir. Would you like some champagne? 1281 01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:03,320 Oh, that's good. More, please. 1282 01:04:03,320 --> 01:04:05,840 But after four hours, mate, I'm thinking to myself, 1283 01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:09,040 “Hey, it doesn't take this long to get to Surfers, man.” 1284 01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:10,520 And I was worried too 1285 01:04:10,520 --> 01:04:14,080 about getting that deep vein thrombonis, like, in the penis, 1286 01:04:14,080 --> 01:04:16,000 'cause that happens, mate, you know. 1287 01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:17,600 So I went into the toilet, 1288 01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:20,280 'cause you must let the veins breathe in them cases. 1289 01:04:20,280 --> 01:04:22,400 You must give it air. 1290 01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:25,680 Next thing I know, the plane gets a bit of that turbulence, 1291 01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:28,640 and, you know, my clothes, they get sucked down the toilet. 1292 01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:31,160 (TECHNO MUSIC) 1293 01:04:31,160 --> 01:04:33,840 Hey, Habib, where did the plane take me, mate, hey? 1294 01:04:33,840 --> 01:04:34,960 Where? 1295 01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:37,840 It was the bumpkin lands, 1296 01:04:37,840 --> 01:04:40,320 full of people with big heads and big ears, 1297 01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:41,800 in the Northern Territories. 1298 01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:44,040 Man, I think it was called Alice Darwins. 1299 01:04:44,040 --> 01:04:48,520 Excuse me, matey. Are you an Australian? 1300 01:04:48,520 --> 01:04:50,720 I don't know what the communication problem was, 1301 01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:52,920 but they thought I was an illegal refugee. 1302 01:04:52,920 --> 01:04:55,160 With my good English, I couldn't believe it. 1303 01:04:55,160 --> 01:05:00,280 (Slowly) Do you have a passport? 1304 01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:02,680 Officers, I don't need a passport. 1305 01:05:02,680 --> 01:05:05,680 I'm 100% dinkus di Australian, man. 1306 01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:08,000 (Laughs hysterically) 1307 01:05:08,000 --> 01:05:11,595 They stuck me in one of them detention centres, Woomerus. 1308 01:05:11,720 --> 01:05:15,111 (ROCK MUSIC) 1309 01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:19,680 Oh, mate, youse can't expect us to eat this. 1310 01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:21,840 What the hell are these? Plastic chips, mate! 1311 01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:24,760 And what's this? Don't youse have a cappuccino machine here? 1312 01:05:24,760 --> 01:05:27,280 I thought this camp was for chockos! 1313 01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:30,160 The thing is with refugees, they're not very smart. 1314 01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:33,120 So it's very easy to convince 'em to do things. 1315 01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:36,760 Let's do a riot, mate! (All shout) 1316 01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:39,752 (EXCITING MUSIC) 1317 01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:42,920 Stop, stop, stop! 1318 01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:45,280 Look, youse refugees stick out like dogs' balls. 1319 01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:48,400 We're gonna get caught. Go that way, to Mecca. Go! 1320 01:05:48,400 --> 01:05:51,200 And youse, there's money in them bushes, money. 1321 01:05:51,200 --> 01:05:53,360 (All shout) Stooges. 1322 01:05:53,360 --> 01:05:56,239 (COMICAL CHASE MUSIC) 1323 01:06:02,720 --> 01:06:05,712 (TRICKLING) 1324 01:06:06,880 --> 01:06:09,880 (MUSIC RESUMES) 1325 01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:12,640 Man, I'm starving! 1326 01:06:12,640 --> 01:06:16,000 This hokey desert, there's not even one bush animal to eat. 1327 01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:18,800 Hey! It's a tent. 1328 01:06:18,800 --> 01:06:21,080 There's food in tents. 1329 01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:22,560 Lucky. 1330 01:06:22,560 --> 01:06:25,552 (EXCITING MUSIC) 1331 01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:32,991 That...that feels like a chicken. 1332 01:06:35,960 --> 01:06:37,359 (Gurgles) 1333 01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:44,520 Ooh, it's a dingo. 1334 01:06:44,520 --> 01:06:47,240 These things, they're just like Lassie. 1335 01:06:47,240 --> 01:06:48,920 I'll give you back to him, 1336 01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:50,800 he'll take you back to your mother. 1337 01:06:50,800 --> 01:06:52,916 (Whimpers) Dingo, take it back, mate. 1338 01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:57,480 (EERIE HOWLING) 1339 01:06:57,480 --> 01:06:59,630 The dingo stole my baby! 1340 01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:02,920 That'll be $45 now, man. 1341 01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:04,480 Quick, lads do a runner! 1342 01:07:04,480 --> 01:07:07,438 Run! Run! Run! (All shout) 1343 01:07:08,480 --> 01:07:10,440 Pauly, Pauly, man! What? What? What? 1344 01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:12,640 How did you get back from the desert? 1345 01:07:12,640 --> 01:07:14,120 Man, I was lucky. 1346 01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:18,160 This top bloke just pulled up and gave me a lift. 1347 01:07:18,160 --> 01:07:21,080 G'day, I'm Ivan. This is Heidi and Inga. 1348 01:07:21,080 --> 01:07:23,680 (Both speak in Swedish accent) Hello! We are backpacking! 1349 01:07:23,680 --> 01:07:27,400 (Sings) ♪ Four little backpackers sitting on the wall 1350 01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:29,360 ♪ And if one little backpacker 1351 01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:31,000 ♪ Should accidentally get slaughtered 1352 01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:33,080 ♪ There'd be three little backpackers... ♪ 1353 01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:35,800 Hey, that's you, the backpackers What a top song. 1354 01:07:35,800 --> 01:07:37,400 ♪ Three little backpackers sitting... ♪ 1355 01:07:37,400 --> 01:07:39,760 It's a good song. 1356 01:07:39,760 --> 01:07:42,480 After this, I want to do 'I Spy'. Know that? 1357 01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:45,800 And this Ivan, mate, he was a gentleman. 1358 01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:49,040 These chicks wanted to go camping in the Belanglo Forest. 1359 01:07:49,040 --> 01:07:51,360 Ivan gets out and builds them 1360 01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:55,280 their own special backpacker hostel, mate, out of wood. 1361 01:07:55,280 --> 01:07:57,880 Yeah, I'll just wait here. 1362 01:07:57,880 --> 01:08:00,320 I mean, it must've taken him a long time 1363 01:08:00,320 --> 01:08:02,200 because he was gone during the night. 1364 01:08:02,200 --> 01:08:04,080 ( DOOR OPENS) 1365 01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:07,720 Job's done, Pauly. Let's go. What's all the blood, man? 1366 01:08:07,720 --> 01:08:09,393 Kangaroo, mate. 1367 01:08:10,600 --> 01:08:12,160 Mate, what a top guy. 1368 01:08:12,160 --> 01:08:14,640 Not only does he build shelter for these chicks, 1369 01:08:14,640 --> 01:08:17,240 he cooks and kills their own food for them. 1370 01:08:17,240 --> 01:08:19,595 You're tiptop, Ivan. 1371 01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:22,000 Mate, lucky I survived that whole desert thing. 1372 01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:25,600 But, man, I was not lucky to end up at this...this pub 1373 01:08:25,600 --> 01:08:27,320 that Dave took us to, mate. 1374 01:08:27,320 --> 01:08:28,800 The grunge pub, man. 1375 01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:31,792 (GRUNGE MUSIC) 1376 01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:36,636 How good's this place? It's wicked! 1377 01:08:42,600 --> 01:08:45,920 These people don't wash their hair. It stinks in here. 1378 01:08:45,920 --> 01:08:47,640 Where's all the chicks? 1379 01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:50,680 (Screams) This place is a shocker. 1380 01:08:50,680 --> 01:08:52,159 Hey! Look at that! 1381 01:08:53,680 --> 01:08:55,880 That chickjust gave me the look, mate. 1382 01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:58,000 (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) 1383 01:08:58,000 --> 01:08:59,480 Hello? 1384 01:08:59,480 --> 01:09:01,280 Pauly, it's Sleekray. 1385 01:09:01,280 --> 01:09:03,840 Have you seen Habib? Is he with you, man? 1386 01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:06,280 We're at this pub. Come down. 1387 01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:08,520 Man, I might stay here for a while. 1388 01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:10,760 I'll catch up with you later. 1389 01:09:10,760 --> 01:09:12,680 SONG: J'I 1390 01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:16,120 ♪ I'm fascinated by your love, boy 1391 01:09:16,120 --> 01:09:19,000 ♪ I'm fascinated by your love toy... ♪ 1392 01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:20,880 Sleek! 1393 01:09:20,880 --> 01:09:22,518 I'm going, man. You coming? 1394 01:09:23,760 --> 01:09:26,400 What, man? 1395 01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:29,560 ♪ I'm fascinated by your love, boy 1396 01:09:29,560 --> 01:09:31,440 ♪ I'm fascinated by your... ♪ 1397 01:09:31,440 --> 01:09:33,400 Hi, Sleek. How are you? 1398 01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:36,000 Yeah, good. Who are you? 1399 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:39,720 Toula! Remember? You're going out with my friend, Lisa. 1400 01:09:39,720 --> 01:09:41,472 Not anymore. 1401 01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:46,120 Hey, Sleek, you look all hot and sweaty 1402 01:09:46,120 --> 01:09:48,360 so I got you a drink. 1403 01:09:48,360 --> 01:09:49,839 Yeah, good. Thanks. 1404 01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:54,832 (MUSIC DISTORTS) 1405 01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:06,440 (BEEP!) 1406 01:10:06,440 --> 01:10:08,680 Hello, boss. It's me. 1407 01:10:08,680 --> 01:10:11,040 Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. 1408 01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:13,800 (BIG BAND MUSIC) 1409 01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:15,320 I'd like you to explain 1410 01:10:15,320 --> 01:10:18,600 how this possum got into the filter of your coffee machine. 1411 01:10:18,600 --> 01:10:20,680 Don't recall it being there this morning. 1412 01:10:20,680 --> 01:10:22,920 Hello, sir. I'm back. 1413 01:10:22,920 --> 01:10:25,760 I have cut all the phone lines and rewired them 1414 01:10:25,760 --> 01:10:28,520 so that all Bobo's orders come to our shop, sir. 1415 01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:31,240 Bobo will be f—--ed up very badly with this. 1416 01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:33,120 It was a very good idea, sir. 1417 01:10:33,120 --> 01:10:35,080 I know. 1418 01:10:35,080 --> 01:10:37,151 It was...MY idea. 1419 01:10:39,560 --> 01:10:42,000 (PHONE RINGS) 1420 01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:43,720 Phat Pizza. 1421 01:10:43,720 --> 01:10:45,840 They're cheesy and big. 1422 01:10:45,840 --> 01:10:47,640 Er, is this Fat Pizza? 1423 01:10:47,640 --> 01:10:51,200 This is the original Phat Pizza. Why? 1424 01:10:51,200 --> 01:10:53,800 Well, your voice sounds a little bit different, mate. 1425 01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:57,600 But anyway, we've been ordering pizzas off you for a long time. 1426 01:10:57,600 --> 01:11:00,200 We'd like to come down and thank you personally. 1427 01:11:00,200 --> 01:11:02,920 So, er, what's the address down there, sport? 1428 01:11:02,920 --> 01:11:05,000 Dave'.! 1429 01:11:05,000 --> 01:11:07,200 This pub is bullshit, mate. 1430 01:11:07,200 --> 01:11:09,714 The chicks are too choosy. You can't pick up. 1431 01:11:11,040 --> 01:11:12,520 Pauly's doing alright. 1432 01:11:12,520 --> 01:11:15,512 (THRASH MUSIC) 1433 01:11:17,240 --> 01:11:20,790 What am I doing wrong? I've tried my best pick-up lines. 1434 01:11:22,240 --> 01:11:24,040 Do you like chocolates? 1435 01:11:24,040 --> 01:11:25,633 Because I got half a bar. 1436 01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:30,479 Full cream dairy milk. 1437 01:11:31,680 --> 01:11:32,670 Arggh! 1438 01:11:33,640 --> 01:11:37,080 Habib, you sell drugs. These chicks LOVE drugs. 1439 01:11:37,080 --> 01:11:39,240 They live at home with their rich parents. 1440 01:11:39,240 --> 01:11:40,753 Offer them some pills, mate. 1441 01:11:41,880 --> 01:11:44,156 What a top idea, yulla. Good work. 1442 01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:50,520 Hey, girls. I've got the pills. 1443 01:11:50,520 --> 01:11:52,158 That's right the pills. 1444 01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:56,880 I can't believe it. I'm here in a threesome. 1445 01:11:56,880 --> 01:12:00,077 I'll meet you at Bobo's for the stripper. Let's go. 1446 01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:03,113 (HORN HONKS) 1447 01:12:04,120 --> 01:12:05,960 Oh, is that him? 1448 01:12:05,960 --> 01:12:07,840 It's hard to tell. It's pretty dark. 1449 01:12:07,840 --> 01:12:11,160 He's wearing the same hat and the same clothes. Must be him. 1450 01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:14,560 (All laugh maniacally) 1451 01:12:14,560 --> 01:12:16,039 (All shout) 1452 01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:21,320 SONG: ♪ Chick, chick, chick 1453 01:12:21,320 --> 01:12:22,880 ♪ Chick, chick, chick 1454 01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:24,632 ♪ Chicks, chicks, chicks... ♪ 1455 01:12:26,720 --> 01:12:28,200 Hey, what are you...? 1456 01:12:28,200 --> 01:12:31,320 Rocky, what are you doing, mate? What are YOU doing? 1457 01:12:31,320 --> 01:12:32,360 Hey. 1458 01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:34,520 What do you think I'm doing? You stay. 1459 01:12:34,520 --> 01:12:37,480 This is Candice, this chick I just met. This is Rocky. 1460 01:12:37,480 --> 01:12:39,000 Hello. Yeah, hi. 1461 01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:40,880 Get out of it. F--- off, man. 1462 01:12:40,880 --> 01:12:43,280 What are you doing? Go. What are YOU doing? 1463 01:12:43,280 --> 01:12:44,320 Go. (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) 1464 01:12:44,320 --> 01:12:44,798 Go. (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) 1465 01:12:46,280 --> 01:12:47,759 Hello. Lebanese Rambo. 1466 01:12:47,920 --> 01:12:49,480 Rocky, man. I'm spewing, man. 1467 01:12:49,480 --> 01:12:51,520 I finally got a threesome, 1468 01:12:51,520 --> 01:12:53,680 but instead of giving the chicks some eckies, 1469 01:12:53,680 --> 01:12:55,320 I gave them some sleeping tablets. 1470 01:12:55,320 --> 01:12:57,760 Oh, my God, they're out cold. 1471 01:12:57,760 --> 01:13:00,718 Hey, do you reckon I should give it to 'em anyway? 1472 01:13:03,600 --> 01:13:04,960 SONG: ♪ Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat 1473 01:13:04,960 --> 01:13:07,031 ♪ Yeah, pizza Oh, yeah... ♪ 1474 01:13:08,120 --> 01:13:10,920 Do you take bribes? 1475 01:13:10,920 --> 01:13:13,840 Normally, yes. But in your case, no. 1476 01:13:13,840 --> 01:13:17,071 Absolutely, totally and absolutely no. 1477 01:13:18,600 --> 01:13:21,440 Look, there's gotta be something we can do. 1478 01:13:21,440 --> 01:13:26,480 If you close this shop, Mama's gonna kill me. 1479 01:13:26,480 --> 01:13:29,480 Look, I couldn't give a rat's ear lobe about your mother. 1480 01:13:29,480 --> 01:13:32,040 I'm very sensitive about Mama. 1481 01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:34,680 (Man grunts) 1482 01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:36,159 200 demerit points. 1483 01:13:38,120 --> 01:13:39,600 Burn! 1484 01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:41,760 Sleek... 1485 01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:43,440 ...you're awake. 1486 01:13:43,440 --> 01:13:46,432 (FUNKY MUSIC) 1487 01:13:47,920 --> 01:13:49,720 (some!) 1488 01:13:49,720 --> 01:13:51,200 What's going on here? 1489 01:13:51,200 --> 01:13:56,560 Well, Sleek, we're sick of guys like you using us big girls 1490 01:13:56,560 --> 01:13:59,440 just to get to our good-looking friends. 1491 01:13:59,440 --> 01:14:02,240 We drugged you with Rohypnol to get you here, 1492 01:14:02,240 --> 01:14:07,400 then we fed you half a bottle of that Viagras. 1493 01:14:07,400 --> 01:14:11,314 So, tonight we get our revenge. 1494 01:14:13,960 --> 01:14:15,600 Arggh! 1495 01:14:15,600 --> 01:14:18,120 (Both moan) 1496 01:14:18,120 --> 01:14:20,600 Hey, um, what is...what is this thing? 1497 01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:22,240 That's my nipple piercing. 1498 01:14:22,240 --> 01:14:23,840 But what's this? 1499 01:14:23,840 --> 01:14:25,400 That's my other nipple piercing. 1500 01:14:25,400 --> 01:14:29,120 OK. What's that down near my thing? Arggh! 1501 01:14:29,120 --> 01:14:33,800 What is it? You're hooked... Arggh, don't mo... It's cut me. 1502 01:14:33,800 --> 01:14:36,679 Arggh! It's cut me. Arggh! 1503 01:14:37,800 --> 01:14:40,320 (Knocks at door and mouths) 1504 01:14:40,320 --> 01:14:43,312 (TRADITIONAL FOLK MUSIC) 1505 01:14:50,240 --> 01:14:52,560 Hey, Bobo. Where are the strippers? 1506 01:14:52,560 --> 01:14:54,040 Shut up. 1507 01:14:54,040 --> 01:14:58,160 Take that out the back and don't look inside. 1508 01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:00,080 Where's Pauly? 1509 01:15:00,080 --> 01:15:02,240 I thought he was coming. 1510 01:15:02,240 --> 01:15:05,360 I have to admit, this next part of the story, 1511 01:15:05,360 --> 01:15:07,040 it was a little bit embarrassing. 1512 01:15:07,040 --> 01:15:08,519 (Gasps) 1513 01:15:10,240 --> 01:15:13,000 Oh, stop moving so much, Pauly. You're hurting me. 1514 01:15:13,000 --> 01:15:14,480 You never told me 1515 01:15:14,480 --> 01:15:16,760 you had the genitals piercings before, did you? 1516 01:15:16,760 --> 01:15:20,037 It was all fun and games then. Look now. 1517 01:15:21,560 --> 01:15:23,040 Arggh. 1518 01:15:23,040 --> 01:15:24,360 Arggh! 1519 01:15:24,440 --> 01:15:26,280 Hmm. 1520 01:15:26,280 --> 01:15:28,640 These piercings are surgical steel. 1521 01:15:28,640 --> 01:15:30,400 It's not going to be easy. 1522 01:15:30,400 --> 01:15:34,040 Oh, come on, man. There's no way that's a surgical instrument. 1523 01:15:34,040 --> 01:15:36,840 Oh, stop moving. You're quite right, it's not. 1524 01:15:36,840 --> 01:15:40,600 But we're a public hospital, so there's been a lot of cutbacks. 1525 01:15:40,600 --> 01:15:43,200 What's this needle for, hmm? 1526 01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:45,040 Arggh! 1527 01:15:45,040 --> 01:15:46,840 That's for tetanus. For your, um... 1528 01:15:46,840 --> 01:15:48,360 Oh, that's the scrotus. Ow! 1529 01:15:48,360 --> 01:15:49,839 Now, don't breathe. 1530 01:15:52,000 --> 01:15:53,479 (Both scream) 1531 01:15:55,360 --> 01:15:57,160 Hey, Bobo. 1532 01:15:57,160 --> 01:15:59,960 Congratulations, mate. 1533 01:15:59,960 --> 01:16:02,400 (Man groans) What do you want? 1534 01:16:02,400 --> 01:16:05,160 Take it easy, Bobo, f—--ing tight-arse. 1535 01:16:05,160 --> 01:16:08,440 Relax, mate. Smile a bit. F---ing zib. 1536 01:16:08,440 --> 01:16:13,160 Where's Sleek? He's a groomsman. He should be here. 1537 01:16:13,160 --> 01:16:15,320 (All scream) 1538 01:16:15,320 --> 01:16:16,993 (Screams) 1539 01:16:20,360 --> 01:16:25,800 Here's to Bobo, my new boss, and his mail-order bride. 1540 01:16:25,800 --> 01:16:27,473 ALL: Yeah! 1541 01:16:30,400 --> 01:16:33,392 (TANGO MUSIC) 1542 01:16:41,160 --> 01:16:43,720 Oh, my God. Bobo. 1543 01:16:43,720 --> 01:16:46,640 Oh, it's been, like, a year, hasn't it? 1544 01:16:46,640 --> 01:16:48,800 Oh, they tell me it's your bucks night. 1545 01:16:48,800 --> 01:16:51,120 Honey, I am gonna give you a strip 1546 01:16:51,120 --> 01:16:53,400 that you ain't never gonna forget. 1547 01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:58,680 And for 20 bucks extra, I give you a special service. 1548 01:16:58,680 --> 01:17:00,193 (Moans seductively) 1549 01:17:02,360 --> 01:17:05,320 Wait a minute, Rocky. This time I didn't stuff up, alright? 1550 01:17:05,320 --> 01:17:07,240 Because I booked two different strippers 1551 01:17:07,240 --> 01:17:10,200 from two different places just in case. 1552 01:17:10,200 --> 01:17:11,679 (POUNDING) 1553 01:17:16,000 --> 01:17:17,479 (ROCK MUSIC) 1554 01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:23,709 Habib! That's that fat bush pig from my 21st, man. 1555 01:17:26,240 --> 01:17:27,913 At least it's a chick. 1556 01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:32,600 (GUNSHOTS) 1557 01:17:32,600 --> 01:17:34,079 (Screams) 1558 01:17:35,640 --> 01:17:39,440 ( MUZAK PLAYS ) 1559 01:17:39,440 --> 01:17:40,920 (Yells) 1560 01:17:40,920 --> 01:17:43,912 (MUZAK CONTINUES) 1561 01:18:15,400 --> 01:18:18,392 (MUZAK CONCLUDES) 1562 01:18:20,640 --> 01:18:21,630 Bobo. 1563 01:18:24,480 --> 01:18:26,080 (WHIP CRACKS) Oh, yeah. 1564 01:18:26,080 --> 01:18:27,680 Oh, yeah. (WHIP CRACKS) 1565 01:18:27,680 --> 01:18:28,960 Mmm. 1566 01:18:28,960 --> 01:18:32,000 (Moans) Bobo have big pizza. 1567 01:18:32,000 --> 01:18:35,200 Oh, yeah. Big pizza, Bobo. 1568 01:18:35,200 --> 01:18:36,800 Oh, yeah. 1569 01:18:36,800 --> 01:18:39,120 Bobo! Bobo! 1570 01:18:39,120 --> 01:18:40,599 Bobo! 1571 01:18:41,640 --> 01:18:45,120 (CLASSICAL MUSIC) 1572 01:18:45,120 --> 01:18:46,680 Mama, what? 1573 01:18:46,680 --> 01:18:49,720 Bobo, you make-a dirty thoughts, 1574 01:18:49,720 --> 01:18:52,109 even on your wedding day. 1575 01:18:53,320 --> 01:18:56,000 Arggh! Arggh! Arggh! (Rants indistinctly) 1576 01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:57,480 Help! 1577 01:18:57,480 --> 01:18:59,471 (Bobo screams) 1578 01:19:02,920 --> 01:19:05,150 Mama... (SLAP!) 1579 01:19:08,080 --> 01:19:11,160 (Thinks) Oh, man, I'm covered in their fat whale oil 1580 01:19:11,160 --> 01:19:12,920 and it just won't come off. 1581 01:19:12,920 --> 01:19:14,400 (All shout) 1582 01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:17,920 This thing with the fat chicks, bro, it was a wake-up call. 1583 01:19:17,920 --> 01:19:19,400 (Screams) 1584 01:19:19,400 --> 01:19:21,920 From now on, you have to be good. 1585 01:19:21,920 --> 01:19:24,760 Sleeky, your days of threesomes are over. 1586 01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:28,600 Yep, it's time to concentrate on rapping, not rooting. 1587 01:19:28,600 --> 01:19:32,520 No drugs, hard work and a little bit less pussy. 1588 01:19:32,520 --> 01:19:34,796 The new happy days. Yeah. 1589 01:19:36,120 --> 01:19:38,600 MAN: OK. They're all here? Good. 1590 01:19:38,600 --> 01:19:40,120 I introduce. 1591 01:19:40,120 --> 01:19:42,640 Over here is Mr Fung Wah, 1592 01:19:42,640 --> 01:19:46,040 boss of Vietnamese Big Bang Bang Gang. 1593 01:19:46,040 --> 01:19:49,000 Over here is Mr Fartintino, 1594 01:19:49,000 --> 01:19:51,240 Italian Mafia boss. 1595 01:19:51,240 --> 01:19:55,600 And I am Dimitri, Russian crime family boss. 1596 01:19:55,600 --> 01:19:59,760 Now, we are all making peace between ourselves temporarily 1597 01:19:59,760 --> 01:20:05,280 because this f—--ing Lebanese piece of s--- poofter b ------ 1598 01:20:05,280 --> 01:20:07,760 is rooting all our daughters 1599 01:20:07,760 --> 01:20:11,800 and putting filthy videos on the f—--ing Internet! 1600 01:20:11,800 --> 01:20:14,792 (TECHNO MUSIC) 1601 01:20:18,920 --> 01:20:20,840 We should cut his balls off! 1602 01:20:20,840 --> 01:20:23,400 I want him dead! 1603 01:20:23,400 --> 01:20:26,920 Give me chopstick, I stick it in his eye, you know. 1604 01:20:26,920 --> 01:20:28,560 Take his eye, I eat it. 1605 01:20:28,560 --> 01:20:31,880 I want to kill him then resuscitate him again. 1606 01:20:31,880 --> 01:20:35,680 You know, like, CPR, and then I want to kill him again! 1607 01:20:35,680 --> 01:20:37,160 (All shout) 1608 01:20:37,160 --> 01:20:39,160 ( ROOSTER CROWS ) 1609 01:20:39,160 --> 01:20:41,080 (ALARM RINGS) 1610 01:20:41,080 --> 01:20:42,960 SONG: ♪ Smoke more cones 1611 01:20:42,960 --> 01:20:44,680 ♪ Smoke more cones 1612 01:20:44,680 --> 01:20:46,680 ♪ Smoke more cones 1613 01:20:46,680 --> 01:20:48,160 ♪ Smoke more cones 1614 01:20:48,160 --> 01:20:49,880 ♪ Smoke more cones 1615 01:20:49,880 --> 01:20:51,640 ♪ Smoke more cones 1616 01:20:51,640 --> 01:20:53,920 ♪ I said, smoke more cones 1617 01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:55,400 ♪ Smoke more cones 1618 01:20:55,400 --> 01:20:56,880 ♪ Smoke more cones... ♪ 1619 01:20:56,880 --> 01:20:59,080 (Retches) 1620 01:20:59,080 --> 01:21:00,559 (Spits) 1621 01:21:02,400 --> 01:21:05,360 SONG: ♪ Hey, I was stoned as a crow at Altamont 1622 01:21:05,360 --> 01:21:07,749 ♪ Well, I was stoned as a boot... ♪ 1623 01:21:10,520 --> 01:21:11,999 ( ROOSTER CROWS ) 1624 01:21:13,200 --> 01:21:16,192 (ROCK MUSIC ROARS) 1625 01:21:18,680 --> 01:21:20,040 (RINGING TONE) 1626 01:21:20,040 --> 01:21:21,519 (All shout) 1627 01:21:22,600 --> 01:21:24,800 PAU LY: You have called Pauly's message thing. 1628 01:21:24,800 --> 01:21:27,800 I'm doing things that stop me from answering. 1629 01:21:27,800 --> 01:21:30,553 Leave a message after the beep, you stooge. 1630 01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:33,199 (BEEP!) 1631 01:21:34,920 --> 01:21:37,520 Where is he? He's got the ring! 1632 01:21:37,520 --> 01:21:39,920 What do you mean, the kid swallowed the ring? 1633 01:21:39,920 --> 01:21:42,594 Come on, Pauly, relax. He's gonna bring it up eventually. 1634 01:21:44,080 --> 01:21:45,920 (Baby cries) 1635 01:21:45,920 --> 01:21:48,600 I told you so. There y'are, there's your ring back. 1636 01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:49,600 Lucky. 1637 01:21:49,600 --> 01:21:51,079 Bobo! Photo! Photo! 1638 01:21:53,880 --> 01:21:55,359 (All cheer) 1639 01:21:57,680 --> 01:21:59,159 (All speak Vietnamese) 1640 01:22:04,360 --> 01:22:07,352 (CLASSICAL MUSIC) 1641 01:22:24,680 --> 01:22:26,320 (HORN HONKS) 1642 01:22:26,320 --> 01:22:27,800 WOMAN: Stop fighting! 1643 01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:30,792 (ROCK MUSIC) 1644 01:22:32,720 --> 01:22:34,360 Oh, f—--ing hell. 1645 01:22:34,360 --> 01:22:35,960 (Raps) ♪ Yeah, Sleek the Elite 1646 01:22:35,960 --> 01:22:37,560 ♪ I'm going to Bobo's wedding 1647 01:22:37,560 --> 01:22:39,480 ♪ And I'm betting that it won't last 1648 01:22:39,480 --> 01:22:41,880 ♪ I think he's gonna get the arse, of course 1649 01:22:41,880 --> 01:22:43,360 ♪ Man, look at his girl 1650 01:22:43,360 --> 01:22:45,078 ♪ She looks like a horse Oh, yeah... ♪ 1651 01:22:46,600 --> 01:22:49,280 Man, what's with these vans? They keep following me, mate. 1652 01:22:49,280 --> 01:22:50,760 What's going on? 1653 01:22:50,760 --> 01:22:53,752 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 1654 01:22:58,080 --> 01:22:59,559 (PHONE RINGS) 1655 01:23:00,760 --> 01:23:02,240 Hello. 1656 01:23:02,240 --> 01:23:04,920 Habib, man, call all the cousins all of them. 1657 01:23:04,920 --> 01:23:06,840 There's these blokes with guns. 1658 01:23:06,840 --> 01:23:08,440 Man, guns! 1659 01:23:08,440 --> 01:23:09,920 (PHONE RINGS) 1660 01:23:09,920 --> 01:23:12,080 (Woman gasps) More, Rocky, please! 1661 01:23:12,080 --> 01:23:14,920 (PHONE RINGS) I'm being called on the phone. 1662 01:23:14,920 --> 01:23:16,400 F---. Hello. 1663 01:23:16,400 --> 01:23:18,920 What do you want, Habib? What?! Sleek's in trouble? 1664 01:23:18,920 --> 01:23:20,560 Where the f--- is he? 1665 01:23:20,560 --> 01:23:22,039 (All shout) 1666 01:23:25,320 --> 01:23:26,800 (All shout) 1667 01:23:26,800 --> 01:23:29,792 (TECHNO MUSIC) 1668 01:23:35,120 --> 01:23:38,080 We f—--ing booked this church f—--ing three weeks ago! 1669 01:23:38,080 --> 01:23:39,840 I know we f—--ing did 1670 01:23:39,840 --> 01:23:43,120 because we booked when I found out I was f—--ing pregnant 1671 01:23:43,120 --> 01:23:44,880 with our seventh f—--ing kid. 1672 01:23:44,880 --> 01:23:47,400 I booked it four weeks ago. 1673 01:23:47,400 --> 01:23:49,800 Dazza goes back inside tomorrow, you f---wit! 1674 01:23:49,800 --> 01:23:53,320 Look, let's all calm down and we can work this out. 1675 01:23:53,320 --> 01:23:56,840 I don't wanna be f—--ing calm! I wanna be f—--ing married! 1676 01:23:56,840 --> 01:23:58,320 Hey, Bobo, what's going on? 1677 01:23:58,320 --> 01:23:59,800 Shut up! 1678 01:23:59,800 --> 01:24:01,760 Help me get these refugees inside. 1679 01:24:01,760 --> 01:24:03,240 What's going on here? 1680 01:24:03,240 --> 01:24:04,800 Come on, guys. Come in. 1681 01:24:04,800 --> 01:24:06,640 This dumb f ------ priest 1682 01:24:06,640 --> 01:24:09,520 has double-booked the f—--ing church. 1683 01:24:09,520 --> 01:24:12,160 Hey, Dimitri, what the hell's going on around here? 1684 01:24:12,160 --> 01:24:15,080 (Speaks Greek) They booked the f—--ing church. 1685 01:24:15,080 --> 01:24:17,680 I'm gonna...|'m gonna f—--ing kill someone, 1686 01:24:17,680 --> 01:24:19,560 that's what I'm gonna do, you know! 1687 01:24:19,560 --> 01:24:21,840 I'm gonna kick someone's arse around the church! 1688 01:24:21,840 --> 01:24:23,320 Now stop yelling! 1689 01:24:23,320 --> 01:24:26,720 (Speaks apologetically in Greek) 1690 01:24:26,720 --> 01:24:28,200 ALL: Ohh. 1691 01:24:28,200 --> 01:24:30,680 DAVO: Hurry up. Come on, hurry up. 1692 01:24:30,680 --> 01:24:32,160 For God's sakes, hurry up. 1693 01:24:32,160 --> 01:24:36,074 Are you stoned or something, you idiots? You sitty there. 1694 01:24:37,160 --> 01:24:39,280 I give you video. 1695 01:24:39,280 --> 01:24:40,760 (Screams) 1696 01:24:40,760 --> 01:24:42,240 Camera boy. Video boy, eh? 1697 01:24:42,240 --> 01:24:44,834 I will kill you like a dog. Grab him! 1698 01:24:46,160 --> 01:24:47,200 (Screams) 1699 01:24:47,200 --> 01:24:49,640 We're gonna cut your pene off. 1700 01:24:49,640 --> 01:24:52,960 (TECHNO MUSIC) 1701 01:24:52,960 --> 01:24:54,439 (All shout) 1702 01:24:56,120 --> 01:25:00,600 Oi! No-one f—--s with my second cousin, alright? 1703 01:25:00,600 --> 01:25:02,079 (All cheer) 1704 01:25:10,040 --> 01:25:12,600 Alright, if we're all ready. 1705 01:25:12,600 --> 01:25:15,592 Bobo, do... (Davo sniggers) 1706 01:25:18,120 --> 01:25:19,599 (Sniggers) 1707 01:25:23,800 --> 01:25:24,960 Sorry. 1708 01:25:24,960 --> 01:25:26,080 (Groans) 1709 01:25:26,080 --> 01:25:28,400 You big fat wog! 1710 01:25:28,400 --> 01:25:29,879 (All shout) 1711 01:25:30,920 --> 01:25:32,680 Hey, bro, what's happening here? 1712 01:25:32,680 --> 01:25:34,600 My cousin's supposed to be getting married. 1713 01:25:34,600 --> 01:25:38,600 Oh, the d--khead priest f—--ing triple-booked the church. 1714 01:25:38,600 --> 01:25:40,680 And he's locked us out. C---. 1715 01:25:40,680 --> 01:25:43,000 Bobo, do you take Lin Chow Bang 1716 01:25:43,000 --> 01:25:45,680 to be your lawfully wedded mail-order wife? 1717 01:25:45,680 --> 01:25:47,200 I do. 1718 01:25:47,200 --> 01:25:48,880 And do you, Lin Chow Bang, 1719 01:25:48,880 --> 01:25:51,120 take Bobo to be your lawfully wedded husband? 1720 01:25:51,120 --> 01:25:52,758 No speak English. 1721 01:25:59,440 --> 01:26:02,920 (DANCE MUSIC) 1722 01:26:02,920 --> 01:26:04,400 You see this b ------. 1723 01:26:04,400 --> 01:26:07,200 He is rooting all girl and putting on the Internet. 1724 01:26:07,200 --> 01:26:08,720 Even yours. 1725 01:26:08,720 --> 01:26:10,760 Sleek, I can't believe it, bro. 1726 01:26:10,760 --> 01:26:13,040 What are you doing rooting my sister Lisa? 1727 01:26:13,040 --> 01:26:16,040 And you too, Habib. I can't believe you filming it, bro. 1728 01:26:16,040 --> 01:26:18,880 You're f—--ing dead, mate. I'm gonna kill you! 1729 01:26:18,880 --> 01:26:21,400 Yeah, but I never wanked over the pictures. 1730 01:26:21,400 --> 01:26:22,879 (All shout) 1731 01:26:25,320 --> 01:26:26,800 (HORN HONKS) 1732 01:26:26,800 --> 01:26:28,280 Open the f—--ing door! 1733 01:26:28,280 --> 01:26:30,160 (Crowd outside shouts) 1734 01:26:30,160 --> 01:26:31,639 Look... 1735 01:26:36,040 --> 01:26:37,519 (Mouths) 1736 01:26:39,720 --> 01:26:42,400 Look, we really can't wait any longer for the ring. 1737 01:26:42,400 --> 01:26:43,880 (All shout) 1738 01:26:43,880 --> 01:26:46,480 (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) 1739 01:26:46,480 --> 01:26:47,960 Hello. 1740 01:26:47,960 --> 01:26:51,720 I'm at the side door. Let me in. I can't get in the front. 1741 01:26:51,720 --> 01:26:53,440 There's all these nuts out there. 1742 01:26:53,440 --> 01:26:54,919 (Crowd outside shouts) 1743 01:26:56,680 --> 01:26:58,160 (All cheer) 1744 01:26:58,160 --> 01:26:59,639 (BUBBLING NOISE) 1745 01:27:01,560 --> 01:27:03,710 Come on, man, no hangs in the church. 1746 01:27:06,840 --> 01:27:08,800 Where have you been? 1747 01:27:08,800 --> 01:27:11,240 Alright, I'll admit, it probably wasn't a good idea, 1748 01:27:11,240 --> 01:27:14,360 dropping in at the boxing on the way to a wedding. 1749 01:27:14,360 --> 01:27:16,320 What boxing? 1750 01:27:16,320 --> 01:27:19,000 And I'll admit that maybe trying to clean the ring 1751 01:27:19,000 --> 01:27:22,200 from the spew from the kid was not a good idea, like, 1752 01:27:22,200 --> 01:27:23,680 with them blokes bumping me. 1753 01:27:23,680 --> 01:27:25,160 (Crowd roars) 1754 01:27:25,160 --> 01:27:28,152 (TECHNO MUSIC) 1755 01:27:32,120 --> 01:27:33,720 But, man, I won't admit 1756 01:27:33,720 --> 01:27:36,240 that being late was, like, purely my fault. 1757 01:27:36,240 --> 01:27:38,160 There was other stooges involved. 1758 01:27:38,160 --> 01:27:41,152 (TECHNO MUSIC) 1759 01:27:44,720 --> 01:27:46,199 (MYSTICAL MUSIC) 1760 01:27:48,480 --> 01:27:49,959 (MYSTICAL MUSIC) 1761 01:27:51,600 --> 01:27:53,079 (Screams) 1762 01:27:54,120 --> 01:27:56,440 Oh, come on, mate. You're a nerd! 1763 01:27:56,440 --> 01:27:59,920 So, then, Mrs Giglioti, what happens is the magician... 1764 01:27:59,920 --> 01:28:01,880 ( FANFARE) 1765 01:28:01,880 --> 01:28:05,360 ...he has magicked the ring into the ring. 1766 01:28:05,360 --> 01:28:08,360 (TECHNO MUSIC) 1767 01:28:08,360 --> 01:28:09,839 (CROWD ROARS) 1768 01:28:14,280 --> 01:28:15,793 Take it easy, mate, alright? 1769 01:28:16,800 --> 01:28:20,320 So, you know, I knew I'd never beat these two with boxing, 1770 01:28:20,320 --> 01:28:21,800 'cause they was too big, 1771 01:28:21,800 --> 01:28:25,760 so what I had to do was use, like, wrestling...tricks. 1772 01:28:25,760 --> 01:28:27,240 (BELL RINGS) 1773 01:28:27,240 --> 01:28:30,232 (TECHNO MUSIC) 1774 01:28:32,800 --> 01:28:34,960 You wanna mess with the little guy, huh?! 1775 01:28:34,960 --> 01:28:36,560 This is what you get, mate! 1776 01:28:36,560 --> 01:28:38,320 This is what you get! 1777 01:28:38,320 --> 01:28:39,799 (CROWD ROARS) 1778 01:28:44,680 --> 01:28:47,360 This is fake like your stupid magic tricks, isn't it? 1779 01:28:47,360 --> 01:28:49,000 The champion is here! 1780 01:28:49,000 --> 01:28:52,400 Oh, no. (All heckle) 1781 01:28:52,400 --> 01:28:55,920 The champ! The champ! I am the ch... Ow! 1782 01:28:55,920 --> 01:28:57,400 (Crowd cheers) 1783 01:28:57,400 --> 01:28:59,320 I'm the champ! 1784 01:28:59,320 --> 01:29:02,312 (TECHNO MUSIC) 1785 01:29:04,280 --> 01:29:05,760 (BELL RINGS) 1786 01:29:05,760 --> 01:29:09,230 Look, can we just f—--ing get on with this f—--ing wedding?! 1787 01:29:11,800 --> 01:29:13,520 Well, can we?! 1788 01:29:13,520 --> 01:29:14,999 F---ing open it. 1789 01:29:16,320 --> 01:29:18,516 Now, you, put the ring on her finger. 1790 01:29:21,000 --> 01:29:22,877 Go on, put it on her finger. 1791 01:29:24,280 --> 01:29:26,440 (Stammers) Yes. Yes, that's it. 1792 01:29:26,440 --> 01:29:28,078 Right, you're married. 1793 01:29:30,480 --> 01:29:32,073 Good f—--ing luck to you. 1794 01:29:33,160 --> 01:29:34,639 (All shout) 1795 01:29:35,800 --> 01:29:37,920 (Screams) What about us?! 1796 01:29:37,920 --> 01:29:41,120 You stupid f—--ing priest! 1797 01:29:41,120 --> 01:29:44,160 What do you think you're doing, you dumb c--- priest?! 1798 01:29:44,160 --> 01:29:46,360 Can you make this marrying s--- any quicker? 1799 01:29:46,360 --> 01:29:47,953 I gotta get down the pub. 1800 01:29:49,360 --> 01:29:50,840 Alright. 1801 01:29:50,840 --> 01:29:52,319 You wanna get married?! 1802 01:29:54,640 --> 01:29:56,120 Fine. 1803 01:29:56,120 --> 01:29:58,157 You're married. 1804 01:30:01,320 --> 01:30:02,993 You're married. 1805 01:30:04,360 --> 01:30:10,360 You're f—--ing married. Now everyone's f—--ing married! 1806 01:30:10,360 --> 01:30:11,840 (Guests cheer) 1807 01:30:11,840 --> 01:30:14,832 ('WEDDING MARCH' PLAYS) 1808 01:30:16,160 --> 01:30:17,640 And at this point, 1809 01:30:17,640 --> 01:30:21,480 all there was left to do was go and get pissed. 1810 01:30:21,480 --> 01:30:22,959 (Wedding guests shout) 1811 01:30:26,840 --> 01:30:29,280 Rocky, I didn't bring any rice, man. 1812 01:30:29,280 --> 01:30:31,960 What are we gonna throw? Habib, don't worry about rice. 1813 01:30:31,960 --> 01:30:33,640 I got eckies instead. 1814 01:30:33,640 --> 01:30:38,157 Eckies? My God, weddings can be so expensive. 1815 01:30:40,240 --> 01:30:42,920 Hey, Bobo, I was on the way to your wedding. 1816 01:30:42,920 --> 01:30:45,400 I think that means I can get workers' conversation. 1817 01:30:45,400 --> 01:30:46,880 Sleek, you're fired. 1818 01:30:46,880 --> 01:30:49,880 ( 'THAT'S AMORE' PLAYS ) 1819 01:30:49,880 --> 01:30:52,320 (Sings) ♪ When you try to get in 1820 01:30:52,320 --> 01:30:54,520 ♪ But your thongs are too thin 1821 01:30:54,520 --> 01:30:56,352 ♪ That's a Maori 1822 01:30:59,200 --> 01:31:01,680 ♪ Then we both get chucked out 1823 01:31:01,680 --> 01:31:03,920 ♪ 'Cause I got me c--k out 1824 01:31:03,920 --> 01:31:06,196 ♪ That's a Maori... ♪ 1825 01:31:08,360 --> 01:31:10,760 (Sings flatly) ♪ Bells will ring, ting-a-ling 1826 01:31:10,760 --> 01:31:13,200 ♪ Ting, ting-a-ling Ting-a-ling 1827 01:31:13,200 --> 01:31:14,679 ♪ Ting-a-ling... ♪ 1828 01:31:17,640 --> 01:31:20,320 (Sings badly) ♪ When the stars make you drool 1829 01:31:20,320 --> 01:31:22,600 ♪ Just like pasta 1830 01:31:22,600 --> 01:31:25,240 ♪ That's amore... ♪ 1831 01:31:25,240 --> 01:31:26,840 Who's this? 1832 01:31:26,840 --> 01:31:29,000 (Raps) ♪ Ring-a-ling-a-ling I pick up the phone 1833 01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:31,080 ♪ There's nobody there So I'm at home... ♪ 1834 01:31:31,080 --> 01:31:34,320 That's Sleek's cousin. His name's Slick. 1835 01:31:34,320 --> 01:31:36,240 Slick? Yeah. 1836 01:31:36,240 --> 01:31:37,913 He's slicker than Sleek. 1837 01:31:39,240 --> 01:31:41,680 Oh, my God. 1838 01:31:41,680 --> 01:31:43,640 SONG: ♪ Where's the chicks? Where's the chicks? 1839 01:31:43,640 --> 01:31:45,120 ♪ Where's the chicks? 1840 01:31:45,120 --> 01:31:46,640 ♪ Here we are Here we are 1841 01:31:46,640 --> 01:31:49,040 ♪ Oh, yeah 1842 01:31:49,040 --> 01:31:50,920 ♪ Where's the chicks? Where's the chicks? 1843 01:31:50,920 --> 01:31:52,080 ♪ Where's the chicks? 1844 01:31:52,080 --> 01:31:53,600 ♪ Here we are Here we are 1845 01:31:53,600 --> 01:31:55,079 ♪ Oh, yeah... ♪ 1846 01:31:56,520 --> 01:31:58,397 I f—--ing love you. 1847 01:32:00,000 --> 01:32:03,391 I love you, too, Dazz. Aw, you little beauty. 1848 01:32:04,640 --> 01:32:07,632 (DANCE MUSIC) 1849 01:32:08,680 --> 01:32:10,159 (Laughs) 1850 01:32:14,600 --> 01:32:16,080 (SIREN BLURTS) 1851 01:32:16,080 --> 01:32:18,520 Alright, everyone. We're the immigration police. 1852 01:32:18,520 --> 01:32:20,000 (All scream) 1853 01:32:20,000 --> 01:32:22,760 Now, I know that most of youse b ------- here 1854 01:32:22,760 --> 01:32:24,480 are bloody illegal immigrants. 1855 01:32:24,480 --> 01:32:27,440 Who would call the immigration on a day like today, mate? 1856 01:32:27,440 --> 01:32:29,600 (Laughs) 1857 01:32:29,600 --> 01:32:31,080 Salute. 1858 01:32:31,080 --> 01:32:33,480 ...detained and deported back to your country of origin. 1859 01:32:33,480 --> 01:32:35,680 (All shout) 1860 01:32:35,680 --> 01:32:37,160 Habib, shoot him. Come on. 1861 01:32:37,160 --> 01:32:40,840 One phone call, mate, and this is what will happen to you. 1862 01:32:40,840 --> 01:32:42,360 I'm f—--ing Australian! 1863 01:32:42,360 --> 01:32:44,200 (All shout) 1864 01:32:44,200 --> 01:32:46,360 The lot of youse, get out of here! 1865 01:32:46,360 --> 01:32:47,839 Quiet! 1866 01:32:50,000 --> 01:32:54,720 Now that I have your attention, do you understand this 1867 01:32:54,720 --> 01:32:56,240 we take bribes! 1868 01:32:56,240 --> 01:32:58,240 (APPLAUSE ) Youse are all fine. 1869 01:32:58,240 --> 01:33:01,240 We take; br'mey-bflbey. 1870 01:33:01,240 --> 01:33:02,719 (GUNS COCK) 1871 01:33:04,280 --> 01:33:07,480 Why...are people so unkind? 1872 01:33:07,480 --> 01:33:08,959 (GUNHRE) 132299

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