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00:00:07,968 --> 00:00:12,227
♪ Some people seem so
obsessed with the morning
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00:00:12,228 --> 00:00:16,228
♪ Get up early just to
watch the sun rise
3
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:21,707
♪ Some people like it more
when there's fire in the sky
4
00:00:21,708 --> 00:00:24,908
♪ Worship the sun when it's high
5
00:00:26,508 --> 00:00:30,237
♪ Some people go
for those sultry evenings
6
00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:34,397
♪ Sipping cocktails in the
blue, red and grey
7
00:00:34,398 --> 00:00:37,998
♪ But I like every minute
of the day
8
00:00:44,268 --> 00:00:49,368
♪ I like every second,
so long as you are on my mind
9
00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:56,997
♪ Every moment
has its special charm
10
00:00:56,998 --> 00:01:01,898
♪ It's all right when you're around,
rain or shine
11
00:01:04,188 --> 00:01:08,027
♪ The people on the hill,
they say I'm lazy
12
00:01:08,028 --> 00:01:11,828
♪ But when they sleep,
I sing and dance
13
00:01:13,118 --> 00:01:16,837
♪ Some people have to have
the sultry evenings
14
00:01:16,838 --> 00:01:20,438
♪ Cocktails in the
blue, red and grey
15
00:01:20,928 --> 00:01:24,707
♪ But I like every minute
of the day... ♪
16
00:01:53,988 --> 00:01:56,767
What did I tell you about
air raids not killing people?
17
00:01:56,768 --> 00:01:59,077
My bed simply
went through the floor,
18
00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:01,067
and Plon-Plon and I went on it.
19
00:02:01,068 --> 00:02:03,268
Perfectly comfortable!
20
00:02:03,878 --> 00:02:08,678
Linda Radlett was not only
my favourite cousin...
21
00:02:09,188 --> 00:02:14,788
...but then, and for many years,
my favourite human being.
22
00:02:22,498 --> 00:02:24,598
Don't pity me, Fanny.
23
00:02:28,258 --> 00:02:33,758
I've had five months of perfect
and unalloyed happiness.
24
00:02:34,468 --> 00:02:38,027
Very few people can say that in the
course of long lives, I imagine.
25
00:02:38,028 --> 00:02:39,108
Very few.
26
00:02:41,638 --> 00:02:44,317
As we turned down the drive
at Alconleigh,
27
00:02:44,318 --> 00:02:48,107
I asked myself if Linda's five
months of perfect happiness
28
00:02:48,108 --> 00:02:53,347
were quite worth all the chaos and
confusion of the other 29 years.
29
00:02:53,348 --> 00:02:58,547
But I often thought about
things like that with Linda.
30
00:02:58,548 --> 00:03:02,848
It always feels like Christmas,
coming home.
31
00:03:03,398 --> 00:03:04,398
I know.
32
00:03:07,358 --> 00:03:09,537
Ever since I was a small child,
33
00:03:09,538 --> 00:03:12,357
I was sent to spend
the Christmas holidays with Linda
34
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:18,958
in a large, ugly, north-facing house
high on a hill in Oxfordshire.
35
00:03:19,008 --> 00:03:23,507
Most of these Christmases
were marked with violence.
36
00:03:23,508 --> 00:03:26,117
There was the time Linda's pony
lay on her in the brook
37
00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:28,418
and nearly drowned her.
38
00:03:28,548 --> 00:03:31,677
The time she tried to kill herself
in an attempt to rejoin
39
00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:36,157
a smelly old Border terrier
which Uncle Matthew had put down.
40
00:03:36,158 --> 00:03:38,147
The time she decided to tell
41
00:03:38,148 --> 00:03:41,917
the daughters of some
neighbours the facts of life...
42
00:03:41,918 --> 00:03:47,037
...resulting in dreadful
beatings from Uncle Matthew...
43
00:03:47,038 --> 00:03:51,038
...and luncheon alone
for two whole weeks.
44
00:03:51,718 --> 00:03:54,118
Linda hated to be alone.
45
00:03:55,618 --> 00:03:57,947
She was a wild
and nervous creature,
46
00:03:57,948 --> 00:04:00,748
full of passion and longing.
47
00:04:12,838 --> 00:04:14,947
But of all the Christmases,
48
00:04:14,948 --> 00:04:18,717
the Christmas I remember
the most was when we were 17,
49
00:04:18,718 --> 00:04:23,118
and Linda decided that her
life had to begin.
50
00:05:06,278 --> 00:05:09,347
No, you can't give the dog a cake
before you give me a piece!
51
00:05:09,348 --> 00:05:10,787
That's not fair!
52
00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:13,377
I stumbled into the hall
and found Linda's mother,
53
00:05:13,378 --> 00:05:16,637
my Aunt Sadie, and the children
having tea as they always did,
54
00:05:16,638 --> 00:05:19,717
in front of the fireplace, over
which hung, as it always had,
55
00:05:19,718 --> 00:05:21,587
the entrenching tool
Uncle Matthew had used
56
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:28,227
to whack to death eight Germans as
they crawled out of a dugout in 1915.
57
00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:30,347
Linda's father, my Uncle Matthew,
58
00:05:30,348 --> 00:05:31,427
knew no middle course.
59
00:05:31,428 --> 00:05:34,117
He either loved or he hated,
60
00:05:34,118 --> 00:05:37,117
and, generally,
it must be said, he hated.
61
00:05:37,118 --> 00:05:41,018
I hate Huns, Frogs,
Americans, Catholics
62
00:05:41,218 --> 00:05:45,507
and all other foreigners,
but above all, I hate children!
63
00:05:45,508 --> 00:05:47,937
He had four beautiful bloodhounds,
64
00:05:47,938 --> 00:05:49,347
with which, every Christmas,
65
00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:52,097
he would hunt his children,
and a pair of stock whips
66
00:05:52,098 --> 00:05:54,827
he cracked on the lawn
every morning at dawn.
67
00:05:54,828 --> 00:05:56,837
Had the Radletts been poor,
68
00:05:56,838 --> 00:05:59,517
he no doubt would have been
sent to prison for beating
69
00:05:59,518 --> 00:06:02,418
and refusing to educate them.
70
00:06:02,598 --> 00:06:06,237
Uncle Matthew loathed
educated females...
71
00:06:06,238 --> 00:06:08,038
...particularly me.
72
00:06:10,188 --> 00:06:11,868
Fanny!
73
00:06:12,708 --> 00:06:14,508
- Fanny!
- You're here!
74
00:06:15,138 --> 00:06:18,347
Fanny, welcome.
You must be exhausted.
75
00:06:18,348 --> 00:06:20,517
Come and have a cup of tea.
How was your journey?
76
00:06:20,518 --> 00:06:22,307
Come and sit in Jassy's chair.
77
00:06:22,308 --> 00:06:24,947
As always, Linda was the most
pleased to see me,
78
00:06:24,948 --> 00:06:26,148
but determined not to show it.
79
00:06:26,149 --> 00:06:27,149
Linda?
80
00:06:27,748 --> 00:06:29,157
Fanny's here.
81
00:06:29,158 --> 00:06:30,947
Would you like a cup of tea?
82
00:06:30,948 --> 00:06:32,388
Yes, please.
83
00:06:36,898 --> 00:06:37,898
Hello.
84
00:06:40,228 --> 00:06:42,128
Where's your mouse?
85
00:06:42,148 --> 00:06:45,157
Oh, she got a sore back and died.
86
00:06:45,158 --> 00:06:47,027
Had you been riding it?
87
00:06:47,028 --> 00:06:50,147
Nobody cried so much
or so often as Linda.
88
00:06:50,148 --> 00:06:52,787
That's how they always die.
It's some sort of urinary disease.
89
00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:59,037
Anything, but especially anything
about animals, would set her off.
90
00:06:59,038 --> 00:07:01,857
Her emotions were
on no ordinary plane.
91
00:07:01,858 --> 00:07:03,907
She loved or she loathed.
92
00:07:03,908 --> 00:07:05,637
She laughed or she cried.
93
00:07:05,638 --> 00:07:09,238
She lived in
a world of superlatives.
94
00:07:14,988 --> 00:07:19,267
Linda was the chairman of a secret
club called the Hons Society.
95
00:07:19,268 --> 00:07:22,787
Its headquarters was a linen
cupboard at the top of the house.
96
00:07:22,788 --> 00:07:23,788
- Six.
- OK.
97
00:07:24,228 --> 00:07:25,597
That's great.
98
00:07:25,598 --> 00:07:27,587
Three-quarters. Well done.
99
00:07:27,588 --> 00:07:29,697
The dead mouse was
quickly forgotten.
100
00:07:29,698 --> 00:07:31,427
Even smaller than last year.
101
00:07:31,428 --> 00:07:34,367
- Your hair's got long.
- Neck, tummy.
102
00:07:34,368 --> 00:07:35,368
One...
103
00:07:36,798 --> 00:07:38,598
Seven and a third.
104
00:07:39,428 --> 00:07:43,128
So I win on arms, eyes,
waist, ankles,
105
00:07:43,138 --> 00:07:46,147
- and you win on bust.
- Hmm. I hate bust.
106
00:07:46,148 --> 00:07:48,048
Farmers love busts!
107
00:07:49,028 --> 00:07:52,067
Linda and I were both in love
with people we had never met,
108
00:07:52,068 --> 00:07:53,987
I with a fat, red-faced
109
00:07:53,988 --> 00:07:55,677
middle-aged farmer I sometimes saw
110
00:07:55,678 --> 00:07:57,537
riding through the village,
111
00:07:57,538 --> 00:08:00,357
and Linda with
the Prince of Wales.
112
00:08:00,358 --> 00:08:02,787
Why can't your prince
and my farmer
113
00:08:02,788 --> 00:08:04,197
be invited to Louisa's ball?
114
00:08:04,198 --> 00:08:07,007
Because Matthew won't let
anyone fanciable
115
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:08,797
within 50 miles of the house.
116
00:08:08,798 --> 00:08:10,917
A coming-out ball was planned
that Christmas
117
00:08:10,918 --> 00:08:12,517
for Linda's older sister, Louisa.
118
00:08:12,518 --> 00:08:13,797
We're trapped!
119
00:08:13,798 --> 00:08:17,187
Our only hope is the Prince
breaking down in his motor car.
120
00:08:17,188 --> 00:08:22,117
"Pray, who is
that beautiful young lady?
121
00:08:22,118 --> 00:08:23,327
"I wish to marry her."
122
00:08:23,328 --> 00:08:26,207
"Well, you can't!
She's here under lock and key!
123
00:08:26,208 --> 00:08:28,577
"I killed 15 Germans
with an entrenching tool!
124
00:08:28,578 --> 00:08:30,117
"I can certainly kill you!"
125
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,667
"He must have your daughter, sir.
126
00:08:31,668 --> 00:08:34,017
"His happiness depends on it,
and subsequently,
127
00:08:34,018 --> 00:08:37,518
"so does the happiness
of England."
128
00:08:38,148 --> 00:08:40,997
Even then, Linda's fantasies were
altogether more ambitious
129
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:43,237
and dangerous than mine.
130
00:08:43,238 --> 00:08:45,027
I want to sit next to Fanny!
131
00:08:45,028 --> 00:08:46,687
Oh, you took your time!
132
00:08:46,688 --> 00:08:48,607
- This better be good, Linda.
- It is.
133
00:08:48,608 --> 00:08:51,107
It's so hot in here.
Talk about back to the womb!
134
00:08:51,108 --> 00:08:53,667
It's more welcoming than
my mother's womb, I imagine.
135
00:08:53,668 --> 00:08:56,037
Fanny, it is unfair that you
have wicked parents and not me.
136
00:08:56,038 --> 00:08:58,917
So you aspire to being wicked
and adulterous, do you, Linda?
137
00:08:58,918 --> 00:09:00,837
No. I aspire to true love.
138
00:09:00,838 --> 00:09:03,717
The kind of which only comes once
in a lifetime and lasts for ever.
139
00:09:06,398 --> 00:09:09,667
The news I have for the Hons today,
while of considerable Hon interest,
140
00:09:09,668 --> 00:09:12,867
generally particularly concerns...
141
00:09:12,868 --> 00:09:14,188
- ...Fanny!
- Oh!
142
00:09:16,318 --> 00:09:18,518
Aunt Emily is engaged.
143
00:09:20,798 --> 00:09:22,717
No, Linda, you're making it up.
144
00:09:22,718 --> 00:09:26,518
I found proof.
"My dear sister Sadie...
145
00:09:27,228 --> 00:09:30,277
"..not to tell the children
we're engaged.
146
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:33,347
"The captain and I will arrive
late on Christmas Eve
147
00:09:33,348 --> 00:09:35,837
"and stay in time for Louisa's
party, of course.
148
00:09:35,838 --> 00:09:38,038
"All love from Emily."
149
00:09:38,148 --> 00:09:39,997
Why would she want
to get married, anyway?
150
00:09:39,998 --> 00:09:41,347
She can't love him.
151
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,717
- He's 40.
- He must be ancient.
152
00:09:43,718 --> 00:09:45,587
Maybe he'll fall in love
with Fanny.
153
00:09:45,588 --> 00:09:48,957
Aunt Emily had brought me up
ever since I was a baby.
154
00:09:48,958 --> 00:09:52,097
It had always been
just her and me.
155
00:09:52,098 --> 00:09:54,717
Aunt Sadie had two sisters -
156
00:09:54,718 --> 00:09:56,897
my mother and Aunt Emily.
157
00:09:56,898 --> 00:09:59,647
At the age of 19, my mother,
158
00:09:59,648 --> 00:10:02,277
feeling herself too
beautiful and gay to be
159
00:10:02,278 --> 00:10:04,517
burdened with a baby,
left my father for another man,
160
00:10:04,518 --> 00:10:08,218
and gave me to Aunt Emily
to bring up.
161
00:10:10,788 --> 00:10:12,127
Goodbye, darling!
162
00:10:12,128 --> 00:10:14,437
My impetuous mother
subsequently ran away so often
163
00:10:14,438 --> 00:10:16,307
and with so many different men
164
00:10:16,308 --> 00:10:22,608
that she became known to her family
and friends as "The Bolter".
165
00:10:23,908 --> 00:10:25,567
There you are, darling...
166
00:10:25,568 --> 00:10:27,997
Occasionally she would reappear
like a meteor,
167
00:10:27,998 --> 00:10:30,307
showering me
with her extravagance,
168
00:10:30,308 --> 00:10:33,057
and I would long to be caught
up in her fiery trails
169
00:10:33,058 --> 00:10:35,258
and be carried away...
170
00:10:36,388 --> 00:10:41,688
...but she would always vanish
off again to a new man.
171
00:10:49,318 --> 00:10:51,997
And in my heart,
I knew how lucky I was
172
00:10:51,998 --> 00:10:55,898
to have safe, reliable,
kind Aunt Emily.
173
00:11:17,408 --> 00:11:18,627
Come on, Fanny!
174
00:11:18,628 --> 00:11:20,928
Get dressed, lazybones!
175
00:11:28,358 --> 00:11:30,597
The Radletts loved animals,
176
00:11:30,598 --> 00:11:32,867
but more than anything
in the world,
177
00:11:32,868 --> 00:11:35,587
they loved to hunt foxes.
178
00:11:35,588 --> 00:11:36,668
All away!
179
00:12:07,458 --> 00:12:08,458
Oh!
180
00:12:16,998 --> 00:12:21,227
Where is her Ladyship, your
mother, hunting this Christmas?
181
00:12:21,228 --> 00:12:23,027
She's in Paris, Josh.
182
00:12:23,028 --> 00:12:26,277
No human being like her Ladyship
I ever saw on a horse.
183
00:12:26,278 --> 00:12:27,877
And look at you.
184
00:12:27,878 --> 00:12:29,917
Jostling about in that saddle.
185
00:12:29,918 --> 00:12:34,337
Miss Linda takes after her Ladyship,
your mother, something wonderful.
186
00:12:34,338 --> 00:12:35,877
Why is that good?
187
00:12:35,878 --> 00:12:40,178
Isn't my mother supposed to
be wicked, Josh?
188
00:12:41,508 --> 00:12:43,308
Here's Fanny!
189
00:12:44,988 --> 00:12:47,627
Darling, may I introduce you
to Captain Warbeck?
190
00:12:47,628 --> 00:12:50,728
Please only ever call me Davey.
191
00:12:51,108 --> 00:12:53,667
He looked different
with his clothes on.
192
00:12:53,668 --> 00:13:00,468
You must find it a terrible joke,
old people like us getting married.
193
00:13:01,598 --> 00:13:03,398
No, of course not.
194
00:13:09,478 --> 00:13:11,678
Captain David Warbeck.
195
00:13:14,078 --> 00:13:15,997
He doesn't look much like
a military man.
196
00:13:15,998 --> 00:13:18,467
Or a marrying one,
for that matter.
197
00:13:18,468 --> 00:13:21,587
Can't see him killing any Germans
with an entrenching tool.
198
00:13:21,588 --> 00:13:22,588
Hm.
199
00:13:26,878 --> 00:13:27,878
Ah...
200
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:29,898
Ooh.
201
00:13:31,108 --> 00:13:35,397
Matthew is frightening,
and I disapprove of him so,
202
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:40,898
but in a way I feel he sets
the bar for English manhood.
203
00:13:41,218 --> 00:13:42,778
Don't be sad.
204
00:13:42,878 --> 00:13:45,377
Yeah, but it's always been
just me and Emily.
205
00:13:45,378 --> 00:13:48,678
You'll always have boring old me!
206
00:13:56,068 --> 00:14:01,547
Did you know that ducks can only
copulate in running water?
207
00:14:01,548 --> 00:14:02,548
No.
208
00:14:02,788 --> 00:14:04,577
Good luck to them.
209
00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:07,837
Aunt Emily
copulated last night.
210
00:14:07,838 --> 00:14:10,307
They were all twisted around
each other
211
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,747
when I went in there this morning.
212
00:14:11,748 --> 00:14:12,748
Really?!
213
00:14:14,388 --> 00:14:17,888
Oh, God! How?
Show me! Show me how!
214
00:14:18,398 --> 00:14:21,027
- You're sex obsessed.
- I know, it's true.
215
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:24,707
I masturbate every time I
think about Lady Jane Grey.
216
00:14:24,708 --> 00:14:26,717
And I think about her
all the time!
217
00:14:26,718 --> 00:14:28,618
Fanny!
218
00:14:33,118 --> 00:14:36,018
Davey! You are a clever cove!
219
00:14:37,278 --> 00:14:39,907
He says these Charles II
salt-shakers
220
00:14:39,908 --> 00:14:42,147
we thought we'd had
in the family for 300 years
221
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:44,767
are really Georgian imitations,
not valuable at all!
222
00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:50,888
Children, you are so lucky
223
00:14:50,988 --> 00:14:53,917
to be related to this
extraordinary fellow.
224
00:14:53,918 --> 00:14:56,418
Yes, he's a terrific Hon.
225
00:14:56,998 --> 00:15:00,517
Oh, um, well, we have
a Hons Society.
226
00:15:00,518 --> 00:15:03,347
If you're a member,
you're honourable,
227
00:15:03,348 --> 00:15:05,187
and our enemies are
Counter Hons.
228
00:15:05,188 --> 00:15:07,688
I'm honoured to be a Hon!
229
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:13,957
Davey, maybe you can influence Emily
on the subject of female education.
230
00:15:13,958 --> 00:15:17,917
It's done Fanny absolutely no good
whatsoever, as far as I can tell.
231
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:19,717
She's picked up some dreadful
expressions
232
00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:21,057
from that school of hers.
233
00:15:21,058 --> 00:15:22,467
Very likely she did.
234
00:15:22,468 --> 00:15:25,797
Awful words like "mantelpiece"
and "notepaper"
235
00:15:25,798 --> 00:15:28,227
keep coming out of her mouth,
and her poor husband,
236
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:30,147
if she ever gets one...
237
00:15:30,148 --> 00:15:31,937
A lot of men would find it
more irritating
238
00:15:31,938 --> 00:15:34,437
to have a wife who'd never
heard of George III,
239
00:15:34,438 --> 00:15:37,117
or been allowed off their
family premises to pursue
240
00:15:37,118 --> 00:15:39,037
any sort of normal life.
241
00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:42,117
They have absolutely everything
they will ever need here!
242
00:15:42,118 --> 00:15:44,157
Church, stables, tennis court.
243
00:15:44,158 --> 00:15:46,467
Why would they ever want to leave?
244
00:15:46,468 --> 00:15:49,217
You don't have to go to some awful
middle-class establishment
245
00:15:49,218 --> 00:15:51,347
to learn who George III was.
246
00:15:51,348 --> 00:15:54,348
- Anyway, who was he, Fanny?
- Hmm?
247
00:15:58,628 --> 00:16:00,068
He was King.
248
00:16:01,568 --> 00:16:03,768
And he went mad and...
249
00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:09,768
Most illuminating.
250
00:16:10,078 --> 00:16:12,897
Well worth losing every ounce
of feminine charm
251
00:16:12,898 --> 00:16:15,587
to learn that, I must say, Fanny.
252
00:16:15,588 --> 00:16:17,827
Thighs like gateposts from
playing hockey,
253
00:16:17,828 --> 00:16:20,517
and the worst seat on a horse
of any woman I've ever seen.
254
00:16:20,518 --> 00:16:24,018
Linda, you're uneducated,
thank God.
255
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:28,108
What do you have to say
about George III?
256
00:16:28,318 --> 00:16:32,218
Well, he was the son
of poor Fred and...
257
00:16:32,268 --> 00:16:34,787
...oh, he was the father
of Beau Brummell's fat friend.
258
00:16:34,788 --> 00:16:38,627
Oh, and he was one of those
vacillators, you know?
259
00:16:38,628 --> 00:16:41,437
I am his Highness's dog at Kew
260
00:16:41,438 --> 00:16:43,617
Pray tell me, sir, whose dog
are you?
261
00:16:43,618 --> 00:16:45,298
Ooh! How sweet!
262
00:16:47,518 --> 00:16:50,597
Oh... No, and Fanny doesn't
have thighs like gateposts.
263
00:16:50,598 --> 00:16:52,898
Her thighs are perfect.
264
00:16:56,998 --> 00:16:58,787
I'd like to go to school.
265
00:16:58,788 --> 00:17:00,468
Oh, do shut up!
266
00:17:03,138 --> 00:17:06,017
Matthew's trapped
his daughters here.
267
00:17:06,018 --> 00:17:08,517
They manage to bridge
gulfs of ignorance
268
00:17:08,518 --> 00:17:10,787
with charm and high spirits
269
00:17:10,788 --> 00:17:14,077
and odds and ends of knowledge
they've picked up.
270
00:17:14,078 --> 00:17:16,957
You're better off
not being like Linda.
271
00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:19,397
She lacks all discipline.
272
00:17:19,398 --> 00:17:22,207
Could easily come to nothing.
273
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:25,067
She does remind me of The Bolter.
274
00:17:25,068 --> 00:17:28,668
I don't want her
to come to nothing.
275
00:17:29,028 --> 00:17:30,028
No.
276
00:18:29,388 --> 00:18:32,097
Please don't bolt.
Don't ever leave me.
277
00:18:32,098 --> 00:18:35,357
Why would I bolt when I'm going
to marry the Prince of Wales?
278
00:18:35,358 --> 00:18:38,358
And have a train 40 feet long.
279
00:18:38,758 --> 00:18:40,438
12 bridesmaids.
280
00:18:40,608 --> 00:18:42,467
And you'll be the chief one.
281
00:18:42,468 --> 00:18:44,197
What happens then?
282
00:18:44,198 --> 00:18:46,557
You'll be happily ever after,
and what about me?
283
00:18:46,558 --> 00:18:48,358
You'll be with me.
284
00:18:50,078 --> 00:18:52,957
Chatting and having baths,
like always,
285
00:18:52,958 --> 00:18:56,677
and being wise and clever
and funny and kind
286
00:18:56,678 --> 00:18:58,717
and the best thing there is,
287
00:18:58,718 --> 00:19:02,418
because you know I'm lost
without you.
288
00:19:02,878 --> 00:19:04,547
What if you die?
289
00:19:04,548 --> 00:19:05,988
I won't die!
290
00:19:07,068 --> 00:19:09,868
I'm not that sort of person.
291
00:19:13,828 --> 00:19:15,508
Darling Linda,
292
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:19,007
I'm going to drag you
out of this place for ever
293
00:19:19,008 --> 00:19:22,397
and copulate with you in running
water like a divine duck,
294
00:19:22,398 --> 00:19:25,087
and my goodness,
how you'll live!
295
00:19:25,088 --> 00:19:28,797
We don't want strangers here,
anyway, stinking the place up.
296
00:19:28,798 --> 00:19:30,527
Well, you'll have to do something,
297
00:19:30,528 --> 00:19:33,667
or there'll be no men at all at your
oldest daughter's coming-out ball.
298
00:19:33,668 --> 00:19:35,907
Oh, shut up!
There's Josh the groom!
299
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:37,907
And I've plenty of friends
in the House of Lords
300
00:19:37,908 --> 00:19:40,957
who'll be happy to come
if I promise them a shoot.
301
00:19:44,628 --> 00:19:46,917
Despite his suspicion
of strangers,
302
00:19:46,918 --> 00:19:49,307
Uncle Matthew couldn't do
anything to stop
303
00:19:49,308 --> 00:19:50,687
the day of Louisa's ball arriving.
304
00:20:04,708 --> 00:20:07,197
As promised,
Louisa's dance partners
305
00:20:07,198 --> 00:20:12,598
were Uncle Matthew's friends
from the House of Lords...
306
00:20:16,038 --> 00:20:18,138
...and Josh the groom.
307
00:20:21,348 --> 00:20:22,348
Ow!
308
00:20:22,368 --> 00:20:24,227
- Oh, so sorry.
- Oh, no, no, it's fine.
309
00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:34,667
You're very patient.
310
00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:35,868
Thank you.
311
00:20:45,598 --> 00:20:47,798
All so small and ugly.
312
00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:50,558
Old and ugly!
313
00:21:00,838 --> 00:21:07,638
The evening was saved from utter
disillusionment by a late arrival...
314
00:21:08,148 --> 00:21:10,787
...Alconleigh's nearest neighbour.
315
00:21:10,788 --> 00:21:12,468
♪ Pawn of none
316
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:16,788
♪ Born with steel reins
on the heart
317
00:21:17,348 --> 00:21:19,048
♪ Of the sun... ♪
318
00:21:19,308 --> 00:21:22,908
Lord Merlin was an artist,
a musician
319
00:21:23,358 --> 00:21:25,347
and a patron of all the young.
320
00:21:25,348 --> 00:21:28,948
♪ Exalted companion
of cocaine nights
321
00:21:30,468 --> 00:21:34,068
♪ Cos he's a Dandy
in the Underworld
322
00:21:34,498 --> 00:21:37,498
♪ Dandy in the Underworld... ♪
323
00:21:38,598 --> 00:21:39,918
What a set!
324
00:21:42,438 --> 00:21:44,547
It was rumoured he had
two black whippets
325
00:21:44,548 --> 00:21:47,877
who wore diamond necklaces,
and a playhouse in the garden
326
00:21:47,878 --> 00:21:51,227
where he put on such extravagances
as Dada plays from Paris
327
00:21:51,228 --> 00:21:54,028
and jazz poetry from Harlem.
328
00:21:55,748 --> 00:21:58,348
Uncle Matthew loathed him.
329
00:21:59,328 --> 00:22:02,328
There's a man carrying a comb!
330
00:22:03,468 --> 00:22:04,468
Davey!
331
00:22:04,958 --> 00:22:07,358
♪ To destruction he fell
332
00:22:07,428 --> 00:22:12,528
♪ Now he forever stalks
the ancient mansions of hell
333
00:22:12,898 --> 00:22:16,498
♪ Cos he's a Dandy
in the Underworld
334
00:22:16,928 --> 00:22:19,428
♪ Dandy in the Underworld
335
00:22:19,808 --> 00:22:23,108
♪ When will he come up for air? ♪
336
00:22:23,908 --> 00:22:26,277
I can introduce you, if you like.
337
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:27,478
No, Davey.
338
00:22:28,318 --> 00:22:30,718
Our dresses are too bad.
339
00:22:32,388 --> 00:22:34,388
♪ Sha-la shoo-be-doo
340
00:22:35,038 --> 00:22:36,938
♪ Sha-la
shoo-be-doo
341
00:22:38,178 --> 00:22:40,978
♪ Sha-la shoo-be-doo, ahh! ♪
342
00:22:41,508 --> 00:22:43,557
I'm going to the cupboard.
343
00:22:43,558 --> 00:22:44,837
Yes, me too.
344
00:22:44,838 --> 00:22:46,838
♪ Sha-la shoo-be-doo
345
00:22:47,198 --> 00:22:49,098
♪ Sha-la
shoo-be-doo
346
00:22:50,078 --> 00:22:52,678
♪ Sha-la shoo-be-doo, ahh!
347
00:22:55,308 --> 00:22:58,787
♪ Cos he's a Dandy
in the Underworld
348
00:22:58,788 --> 00:23:01,288
♪ Dandy in the Underworld
349
00:23:02,048 --> 00:23:05,148
♪ When will he come up for air?
350
00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:09,368
♪ Oh, will anybody ever care?
351
00:23:12,998 --> 00:23:16,598
♪ Cos he's a Dandy
in the Underworld
352
00:23:16,708 --> 00:23:19,708
♪ Dandy in the Underworld... ♪
353
00:23:34,878 --> 00:23:37,907
I'm officially renouncing
His Royal Highness.
354
00:23:37,908 --> 00:23:39,587
From now on I will devote myself
355
00:23:39,588 --> 00:23:43,517
to being one of those bright
young things of Merlin's.
356
00:23:43,518 --> 00:23:47,747
Merlin's friends are more
in my mother's... orbit.
357
00:23:47,748 --> 00:23:51,948
Oh, they're so beautiful
and sophisticated.
358
00:23:54,468 --> 00:23:56,897
Don't you just...
359
00:23:56,898 --> 00:24:00,227
...ache for life
to be exciting, like this?
360
00:24:00,228 --> 00:24:03,827
Hm. I think I'd like to
observe exciting things.
361
00:24:05,028 --> 00:24:07,457
If only there were
exciting things!
362
00:24:07,458 --> 00:24:08,458
You!
363
00:24:08,478 --> 00:24:10,978
You're an exciting thing!
364
00:24:11,108 --> 00:24:13,108
You are!
365
00:24:15,468 --> 00:24:16,468
We are.
366
00:24:22,498 --> 00:24:25,098
We do everything together.
367
00:24:27,108 --> 00:24:29,508
I'd be lost without you.
368
00:24:35,298 --> 00:24:38,237
But the brief appearance
of Lord Merlin's house party
369
00:24:38,238 --> 00:24:42,227
only made the walls of Linda's
fortress appear higher than ever.
370
00:24:42,228 --> 00:24:45,667
She became paralysed in
her longing for life and love,
371
00:24:45,668 --> 00:24:49,117
and all she could do
was lie about waiting for it.
372
00:24:52,518 --> 00:24:54,757
- What's the time, darling?
- Guess.
373
00:24:54,758 --> 00:24:57,467
- Quarter to six.
- Better than that.
374
00:24:57,468 --> 00:24:59,357
- Six.
- Not quite so good.
375
00:24:59,358 --> 00:25:00,798
- Five to.
- Yes!
376
00:25:00,958 --> 00:25:04,058
It's forever until we come out!
377
00:25:04,548 --> 00:25:06,467
I can't live that long!
378
00:25:06,468 --> 00:25:08,837
"As long as she thinks of a man,
379
00:25:08,838 --> 00:25:10,667
"nobody objects to a woman
thinking."
380
00:25:10,668 --> 00:25:13,117
That's what Virginia Woolf
has to say.
381
00:25:13,118 --> 00:25:15,707
Well, then, no-one will object,
cos I only think about men.
382
00:25:15,708 --> 00:25:18,117
Maybe that's because you
haven't been educated properly.
383
00:25:18,118 --> 00:25:20,507
Or maybe it's because
everything else is boring!
384
00:25:20,508 --> 00:25:22,787
What is it you actually want?
385
00:25:22,788 --> 00:25:25,388
I want to escape!
386
00:25:27,108 --> 00:25:32,308
And have fun and wear high heels
and go to the cinema
387
00:25:32,768 --> 00:25:37,637
and have sex and be adored
by a man and be in love!
388
00:25:37,638 --> 00:25:39,338
What do you want?
389
00:25:45,468 --> 00:25:47,868
Is life only about love?
390
00:25:48,128 --> 00:25:49,128
- Oh.
- Yes!
391
00:25:56,518 --> 00:26:00,418
Louisa's dance had
an unexpected sequel.
392
00:26:10,148 --> 00:26:15,248
I don't know why you'd
want to marry someone so old.
393
00:26:16,228 --> 00:26:18,467
Louisa, half his hair
has slipped off his head,
394
00:26:18,468 --> 00:26:20,067
like an eiderdown off the bed!
395
00:26:20,068 --> 00:26:22,768
- He's only 45.
- And you're 18!
396
00:26:22,788 --> 00:26:24,947
If he was a dog,
you'd have to put him down.
397
00:26:24,948 --> 00:26:27,827
I'm happy for
the first time in my life!
398
00:26:27,828 --> 00:26:29,507
I'm getting out... for ever.
399
00:26:29,508 --> 00:26:31,307
And you're going to be
stuck here, Linda,
400
00:26:31,308 --> 00:26:33,247
hunting and walking the
dogs with Fa.
401
00:26:33,248 --> 00:26:35,115
That's what comes
of being the favourite.
402
00:26:35,116 --> 00:26:35,830
Shut up!
403
00:26:35,832 --> 00:26:38,825
Don't you think you're a bit too old
to be sitting in a cupboard?
404
00:26:38,827 --> 00:26:40,192
No, not really.
405
00:26:42,278 --> 00:26:44,267
I'm not having any bridesmaids,
by the way,
406
00:26:44,268 --> 00:26:46,117
so don't worry about your dresses.
407
00:26:46,118 --> 00:26:47,118
What?
408
00:26:47,588 --> 00:26:50,397
I'm not going to be upstaged on my
wedding day, thank you very much!
409
00:26:50,398 --> 00:26:53,627
Ohh! You're not having any
bridesmaids?
410
00:26:53,635 --> 00:26:54,527
No.
411
00:26:54,529 --> 00:26:58,849
You can't think how stupid
you're going to look from behind!
412
00:27:01,158 --> 00:27:02,158
Oh.
413
00:27:02,878 --> 00:27:05,878
Linda was really very jealous.
414
00:27:11,718 --> 00:27:15,518
- Shall we go, then, Papa?
- Yes, let's go.
415
00:27:17,598 --> 00:27:21,637
She looks like the eldest and
ugliest of the Bronte sisters.
416
00:27:21,638 --> 00:27:22,917
At that moment,
417
00:27:22,918 --> 00:27:25,667
I think Linda would have gladly
changed places with Louisa,
418
00:27:25,668 --> 00:27:27,267
even at the very heavy cost
419
00:27:27,268 --> 00:27:30,147
of living happily ever after with
John Fort-William.
420
00:27:30,148 --> 00:27:31,557
I want to die!
421
00:27:31,558 --> 00:27:36,677
Unless life begins absolutely
right now, I want to die!
422
00:27:36,678 --> 00:27:38,077
Push me, will you?
423
00:27:38,078 --> 00:27:41,027
Can you please...? Can you get
down, Linda, it's really high.
424
00:27:46,428 --> 00:27:48,767
If only it weren't such
a difficult thing to do.
425
00:27:50,438 --> 00:27:52,737
It's hard enough to kill
a rabbit, let alone oneself.
426
00:27:54,278 --> 00:27:56,147
It's that hog Merlin!
427
00:27:56,148 --> 00:28:00,037
I won't have my home filled
with Merlin's dago friends!
428
00:28:00,038 --> 00:28:02,077
I hear he has Frogs there too!
429
00:28:02,078 --> 00:28:04,517
I won't have Frogs or dagos
under any circumstances!
430
00:28:04,518 --> 00:28:05,917
Hello, Merlin.
431
00:28:05,918 --> 00:28:08,518
Oh, lunch would be lovely.
432
00:28:19,558 --> 00:28:21,597
What sort of birds are they?
433
00:28:21,598 --> 00:28:23,747
Just ordinary pigeons.
434
00:28:23,748 --> 00:28:27,037
Where do you get them that colour?
435
00:28:27,038 --> 00:28:29,277
I dye them. Every year.
436
00:28:29,278 --> 00:28:31,077
Dry them in the linen cupboard.
437
00:28:31,078 --> 00:28:33,507
- Isn't that frightfully cruel?
- Oh, no, they love it.
438
00:28:33,508 --> 00:28:35,997
They love it. It makes them
so pretty for each other.
439
00:28:35,998 --> 00:28:40,907
- What about their poor little eyes?
- Oh, they soon learn to shut them.
440
00:28:40,908 --> 00:28:46,067
I see you're taken with my silly
old Romantic Antoine Watteaus.
441
00:28:46,068 --> 00:28:47,747
Love isn't silly.
442
00:28:47,748 --> 00:28:49,637
- Linda!
- It's my religion.
443
00:28:52,668 --> 00:28:54,228
Is it really?
444
00:28:54,308 --> 00:28:57,117
That's all she can think about.
It's really rather alarming.
445
00:28:57,118 --> 00:28:58,678
Oh!
446
00:28:58,788 --> 00:29:01,597
Gertie, leave her alone.
I'm so sorry.
447
00:29:01,598 --> 00:29:04,798
No, um...
I try to tell the girls
448
00:29:05,268 --> 00:29:07,677
that they've got to consider
practicalities.
449
00:29:07,678 --> 00:29:12,157
They've got to write down how they'd
run a household on £200 a year.
450
00:29:12,158 --> 00:29:15,427
Linda always just puts
"£199 - flowers".
451
00:29:17,408 --> 00:29:20,108
What lessons are you doing?
452
00:29:22,078 --> 00:29:23,518
None at all.
453
00:29:24,638 --> 00:29:27,227
Pa thinks that girls get fat
thighs from playing hockey
454
00:29:27,228 --> 00:29:29,637
if they go to school, but not that
Fanny has fat thighs.
455
00:29:29,638 --> 00:29:30,977
Hers are perfect.
456
00:29:30,978 --> 00:29:33,778
No, no, no, no, no. Linda...
457
00:29:34,878 --> 00:29:36,438
...you need...
458
00:29:36,948 --> 00:29:38,388
...educating.
459
00:29:38,598 --> 00:29:40,707
Yeah, that's what I said,
460
00:29:40,708 --> 00:29:43,608
but she doesn't listen to me.
461
00:30:40,998 --> 00:30:44,957
You have an intensely
romantic character.
462
00:30:44,958 --> 00:30:45,958
Hm.
463
00:30:45,988 --> 00:30:47,988
I see trouble ahead.
464
00:30:51,038 --> 00:30:53,157
I urge upon you the necessity
465
00:30:53,158 --> 00:30:56,858
for an intellectual background,
Linda.
466
00:30:57,378 --> 00:30:58,378
Hm!
467
00:30:58,788 --> 00:31:00,588
Although I fear...
468
00:31:01,548 --> 00:31:04,448
...it may already be too late.
469
00:31:14,918 --> 00:31:16,598
Come on, then.
470
00:31:23,038 --> 00:31:26,947
For a while, Linda followed his
advice, finding comfort in books
471
00:31:26,948 --> 00:31:31,067
and things other than
the desperate pursuit of love,
472
00:31:31,068 --> 00:31:33,227
But finally, inevitably,
473
00:31:33,228 --> 00:31:35,907
the minutes turned to hours,
the hours to weeks,
474
00:31:35,908 --> 00:31:37,437
the weeks to months,
475
00:31:37,438 --> 00:31:40,238
and the impossible happened.
476
00:32:02,598 --> 00:32:07,998
We'd attained the great golden
goal of every childhood.
477
00:32:08,038 --> 00:32:09,718
We'd grown up.
478
00:32:55,198 --> 00:32:57,598
Would you like to dance?
479
00:32:58,848 --> 00:33:00,408
Yes, I would.
480
00:33:13,118 --> 00:33:17,667
Tony Kroesig - in his last year at
Oxford, a member of the Bullingdon.
481
00:33:17,668 --> 00:33:19,967
A splendid young man
with plenty of beautiful horses
482
00:33:19,968 --> 00:33:21,757
and exquisite clothes,
483
00:33:21,758 --> 00:33:24,257
he had already
a strong air of pomposity,
484
00:33:24,258 --> 00:33:26,307
a thing which Linda had never
come across before...
485
00:33:26,308 --> 00:33:27,952
It's awfully muddy
where you live.
486
00:33:28,053 --> 00:33:28,677
Hm!
487
00:33:28,678 --> 00:33:31,937
I hope your chauffeur knows
how to park a Rolls-Royce!
488
00:33:34,118 --> 00:33:35,118
Yes.
489
00:33:35,838 --> 00:33:39,638
...and which she found
not unattractive.
490
00:33:54,718 --> 00:33:57,518
Who's that sewer with Linda?
491
00:33:58,368 --> 00:34:02,397
Kroesig. Governor of
the Bank of England - his son.
492
00:34:02,398 --> 00:34:03,478
Kroesig?!
493
00:34:04,448 --> 00:34:05,528
Good God!
494
00:34:07,308 --> 00:34:10,597
Never expected to be harbouring
a full-blooded Hun in the house!
495
00:34:10,598 --> 00:34:14,557
Matthew, dear, don't get excited.
The Kroesigs aren't Huns.
496
00:34:14,558 --> 00:34:16,867
They're a highly respected
family of bankers.
497
00:34:16,868 --> 00:34:18,827
They've been over here
for generations.
498
00:34:18,828 --> 00:34:20,317
Once a Hun, always a Hun.
499
00:34:20,318 --> 00:34:21,398
Good God!
500
00:34:23,748 --> 00:34:25,757
Does he know I still have
an entrenching tool
501
00:34:25,758 --> 00:34:27,707
I used to whack eight
of his countrymen to death?
502
00:34:27,708 --> 00:34:30,108
I don't suppose he does.
503
00:34:33,708 --> 00:34:37,217
I always said Merlin would bring
foreigners here eventually.
504
00:34:37,218 --> 00:34:42,218
I never thought he'd land us
with an actual German!
505
00:35:10,948 --> 00:35:13,948
Oh, no, look! The poor rabbit!
506
00:35:30,978 --> 00:35:31,978
Oh!
507
00:35:36,708 --> 00:35:39,487
This was the one romantic
gesture of Tony's life.
508
00:35:42,368 --> 00:35:44,037
Tony went back to Oxford,
509
00:35:44,038 --> 00:35:48,707
and Linda sat about waiting
for the telephone bell.
510
00:35:48,708 --> 00:35:50,708
If this comes out...
511
00:35:51,718 --> 00:35:53,918
...he'll ring tomorrow.
512
00:35:57,798 --> 00:35:59,798
If this comes out...
513
00:36:01,188 --> 00:36:02,867
...he'll be at the meet.
514
00:36:04,668 --> 00:36:06,117
If this comes out...
515
00:36:06,118 --> 00:36:08,387
...he's thinking of me
at this very minute.
516
00:36:15,468 --> 00:36:16,468
Hello.
517
00:36:17,118 --> 00:36:19,218
Hello. Is that Linda?
518
00:36:20,068 --> 00:36:21,827
It's Tony Kroesig here.
519
00:36:21,828 --> 00:36:23,268
Hello, Tony.
520
00:36:23,718 --> 00:36:25,317
Listen, will you come to lunch?
521
00:36:25,318 --> 00:36:27,427
Christchurch, next Thursday,
one o'clock?
522
00:36:27,428 --> 00:36:31,077
Oh, but... Fa doesn't let us alone
with young men unchaperoned.
523
00:36:31,078 --> 00:36:33,187
He doesn't really let us out,
full stop.
524
00:36:33,188 --> 00:36:34,868
Really?
525
00:36:35,168 --> 00:36:37,027
You seem too old
for that sort of restriction.
526
00:36:37,028 --> 00:36:39,837
Um... Bring your cousin
if you like.
527
00:36:39,838 --> 00:36:41,038
All right!
528
00:36:41,638 --> 00:36:43,487
That'd be lovely.
529
00:36:43,488 --> 00:36:44,928
- Bye.
- Goodbye.
530
00:36:45,348 --> 00:36:48,477
You can't go, because Matthew
will throttle you.
531
00:36:48,478 --> 00:36:50,627
I will actually die if I don't go,
532
00:36:50,628 --> 00:36:54,128
so, you see,
I'd be dead either way.
533
00:36:54,558 --> 00:36:56,867
We have to escape
the fortress, Fanny.
534
00:36:56,868 --> 00:37:00,197
There was only one way
we could devise to escape,
535
00:37:00,198 --> 00:37:01,427
and it was full of risk.
536
00:37:01,428 --> 00:37:04,067
A very dull girl
of exactly our age
537
00:37:04,068 --> 00:37:05,757
called Lavender Davis
538
00:37:05,758 --> 00:37:09,277
lived with her very dull parents
about five miles away.
539
00:37:09,278 --> 00:37:12,867
Once in a blue moon, Linda,
complaining vociferously,
540
00:37:12,868 --> 00:37:15,827
was sent over to
luncheon with them,
541
00:37:15,828 --> 00:37:19,528
driving herself in
Sadie's little car.
542
00:37:20,678 --> 00:37:23,107
Why are you two dressed up
for breakfast?
543
00:37:23,108 --> 00:37:25,597
Lavender Davis wants us
to go over to lunch there.
544
00:37:25,598 --> 00:37:27,837
Oh, duck, you can't have
the car, I'm afraid.
545
00:37:27,838 --> 00:37:29,307
Perkins is going to wash it.
546
00:37:29,308 --> 00:37:31,667
But, Mummy, you don't...
you don't understand.
547
00:37:31,668 --> 00:37:35,517
The whole point is that a man's
coming who brought up a baby badger.
548
00:37:35,518 --> 00:37:37,377
And I do so want to meet him.
549
00:37:37,378 --> 00:37:39,677
When we go to London
for the season,
550
00:37:39,678 --> 00:37:42,117
you'll barely have
time for a badger.
551
00:37:42,118 --> 00:37:46,277
Badgers are nocturnal anyway,
so you wouldn't even see it.
552
00:37:46,278 --> 00:37:47,677
Good point...
553
00:37:47,678 --> 00:37:51,587
Darling Jassy, lend me
your running-away money.
554
00:37:51,588 --> 00:37:52,668
What? No.
555
00:37:53,568 --> 00:37:56,837
I've saved and scraped
ever since I was seven
556
00:37:56,838 --> 00:37:58,877
for when I plan to
run away myself.
557
00:37:58,878 --> 00:38:01,317
I've no education or training,
so I'll need every penny.
558
00:38:01,318 --> 00:38:04,387
Just enough for a couple of
train tickets to Oxford.
559
00:38:04,388 --> 00:38:06,557
Darling, I'll give it all back.
560
00:38:06,558 --> 00:38:07,758
Tony will.
561
00:38:07,838 --> 00:38:09,158
I know men.
562
00:38:10,278 --> 00:38:11,747
Who has a badger?
563
00:38:11,748 --> 00:38:13,477
Last time,
you said you didn't mind
564
00:38:13,478 --> 00:38:15,947
if you never saw the Davises
again in your whole life!
565
00:38:15,948 --> 00:38:17,028
Oh, dear.
566
00:38:17,508 --> 00:38:20,197
You said you wanted to bash
Lavender Davis's face in
567
00:38:20,198 --> 00:38:21,277
with a mallet.
568
00:38:21,278 --> 00:38:22,947
Yes, she did say that.
569
00:38:22,948 --> 00:38:24,827
Come on, Fanny. Let's go!
570
00:38:24,828 --> 00:38:27,877
It's barely nine o'clock
in the morning! Girls!
571
00:38:29,748 --> 00:38:32,648
Deceptacon by Le Tigre
572
00:38:39,268 --> 00:38:41,368
♪ Every day and night
573
00:38:42,468 --> 00:38:44,568
♪ Every day and night
574
00:38:45,348 --> 00:38:48,587
♪ I can see your disco disco dick
575
00:38:48,588 --> 00:38:51,237
♪ Is sucking my heart
out of my mind
576
00:38:51,238 --> 00:38:54,117
♪ I'm outta time,
I'm outta fucking time
577
00:38:54,118 --> 00:38:57,247
♪ I'm a gasoline gut with
a vaseline mind
578
00:38:57,248 --> 00:39:00,637
♪ Wanna disco?
Wanna see me disco...? ♪
579
00:39:02,878 --> 00:39:05,178
♪ One, two, three, four
580
00:39:06,278 --> 00:39:08,747
♪ You got what you been asking for
581
00:39:08,748 --> 00:39:10,367
♪ You're so policy free and
582
00:39:10,368 --> 00:39:12,997
♪ Your fantasy wheels
and everything you think
583
00:39:12,998 --> 00:39:14,627
♪ And everything you feel
584
00:39:14,628 --> 00:39:17,917
♪ Is all right, all right,
all right, all... ♪
585
00:39:19,908 --> 00:39:24,197
They're so serious.
It's like church.
586
00:39:24,198 --> 00:39:26,147
Do you think that we
would be as clever?
587
00:39:26,148 --> 00:39:29,057
If you evened it all out, I mean.
588
00:39:29,058 --> 00:39:31,237
Bath time!
589
00:39:40,198 --> 00:39:42,398
Last one in's a sissy!
590
00:39:44,678 --> 00:39:46,917
We must keep our ends up, Fanny.
591
00:39:46,918 --> 00:39:50,418
I think I'm happy
with my end down.
592
00:40:06,438 --> 00:40:08,747
Come on, let's do it.
We'd look so chic.
593
00:40:12,838 --> 00:40:15,197
Davey says it's deadly
to talk about hunting.
594
00:40:15,198 --> 00:40:19,617
Of course I won't!
They're intellectuals.
595
00:40:19,618 --> 00:40:20,618
Hello.
596
00:40:20,768 --> 00:40:22,768
Been hunting at all?
597
00:40:24,108 --> 00:40:26,337
Yes, actually.
We were out yesterday.
598
00:40:26,338 --> 00:40:28,018
- Good day?
- Great.
599
00:40:28,388 --> 00:40:30,068
Actually very.
600
00:40:30,178 --> 00:40:35,357
We found at once and we had a
five-mile point and then we...
601
00:40:35,358 --> 00:40:37,477
- That's marvellous.
- Yes!
602
00:40:37,478 --> 00:40:39,587
Yeah. Well, we had a good
day yesterday too.
603
00:40:39,588 --> 00:40:41,757
Then my first horse went lame.
604
00:40:41,758 --> 00:40:43,958
- Terrible shame.
- Ah, no.
605
00:40:44,028 --> 00:40:47,077
He'd been looking
awfully good all year.
606
00:40:47,078 --> 00:40:48,398
- Come on!
- Mm!
607
00:40:49,118 --> 00:40:50,507
Here they are!
608
00:40:50,508 --> 00:40:53,157
About time! I said one o'clock,
not five past.
609
00:40:57,118 --> 00:41:00,317
Go and have some of that
cheese. Mummy sent this up.
610
00:41:03,518 --> 00:41:05,218
Talk to that man.
611
00:41:05,318 --> 00:41:07,107
Say something clever.
612
00:41:08,638 --> 00:41:09,638
Oh...
613
00:41:09,988 --> 00:41:11,428
- Hello!
- Hello.
614
00:41:12,158 --> 00:41:15,107
I'm a big fan
of Virginia Woolf.
615
00:41:15,108 --> 00:41:17,507
Have you read Orlando? You look
rather like The Bolter.
616
00:41:17,508 --> 00:41:19,967
A sort of Home Counties version.
617
00:41:19,968 --> 00:41:21,668
That's my mother.
618
00:41:22,598 --> 00:41:24,067
I shouldn't think so.
619
00:41:24,068 --> 00:41:26,437
You're much too old to be
a child of The Bolter.
620
00:41:26,438 --> 00:41:29,117
Is she still with
her white hunter?
621
00:41:29,118 --> 00:41:32,418
What's all that hair
on your nose?
622
00:41:35,268 --> 00:41:37,317
- Oh, my goodness.
- Fanny, is there a hair...?
623
00:41:50,028 --> 00:41:51,028
Yes!
624
00:41:51,518 --> 00:41:53,567
You got away lightly.
625
00:41:55,488 --> 00:41:56,928
To the King.
626
00:41:59,588 --> 00:42:01,117
Drink it all!
627
00:42:01,118 --> 00:42:02,798
Oh... Two! Whoo!
628
00:42:03,748 --> 00:42:06,548
This isn't really enjoyable.
629
00:42:09,508 --> 00:42:11,557
A ghastly feeling of guilt is
beginning to give me
630
00:42:11,558 --> 00:42:13,427
a pain rather like indigestion.
631
00:42:13,428 --> 00:42:15,837
Yes, me too. Every time
the door opens,
632
00:42:15,838 --> 00:42:18,467
I'm sure Uncle Matthew's going
to be there cracking his whip.
633
00:42:18,468 --> 00:42:19,468
OK...
634
00:42:21,948 --> 00:42:23,747
I think we'd better go.
635
00:42:23,748 --> 00:42:24,748
Yes.
636
00:42:28,708 --> 00:42:30,497
- Shall... shall we?
- Yes, I know.
637
00:42:30,498 --> 00:42:32,398
Come on, baby.
638
00:42:32,928 --> 00:42:34,608
- Going to go?
- Yes.
639
00:42:35,108 --> 00:42:37,477
FANNY: Oh, shush now.
640
00:42:37,478 --> 00:42:38,987
You poor darling.
641
00:42:38,988 --> 00:42:42,147
But you know that you have to
kiss a lot of frogs
642
00:42:42,148 --> 00:42:44,067
before you find your prince...
643
00:42:44,068 --> 00:42:45,388
...of Wales!
644
00:42:50,078 --> 00:42:51,518
Oh, Fanny...
645
00:42:51,708 --> 00:42:53,148
Fanny, help.
646
00:42:55,198 --> 00:42:59,698
Love has increased threefold
in one short day.
647
00:43:02,758 --> 00:43:03,758
But why?
648
00:43:04,428 --> 00:43:06,328
I love him!
649
00:43:06,718 --> 00:43:08,398
Oh, Linda, why?
650
00:43:10,438 --> 00:43:11,998
Linda! Linda!
651
00:43:14,918 --> 00:43:16,918
Linda!
652
00:43:18,948 --> 00:43:19,948
Linda!
653
00:43:38,748 --> 00:43:41,848
I have received a phone call...
654
00:43:47,268 --> 00:43:48,948
...telling me...
655
00:43:50,048 --> 00:43:51,907
...that someone has left a scarf
656
00:43:51,908 --> 00:43:55,308
in Tony Kroesig's rooms at Oxford.
657
00:44:00,038 --> 00:44:03,838
Now we know -
you're not to be trusted.
658
00:44:04,318 --> 00:44:06,347
So we'll have to take
certain steps.
659
00:44:06,348 --> 00:44:07,907
Fanny, you will go
straight home.
660
00:44:07,908 --> 00:44:10,977
Emily can... try to control you
in the future, if she can.
661
00:44:10,978 --> 00:44:13,217
But you'll go the same way
as your mother The Bolter,
662
00:44:13,218 --> 00:44:14,589
as sure as eggs is eggs.
663
00:44:14,591 --> 00:44:16,394
Fa, you can't keep us
locked up forever -
664
00:44:16,395 --> 00:44:18,017
we're practically
middle-aged women!
665
00:44:18,018 --> 00:44:20,338
- Don't interrupt your father.
- Fanny is a scarlet woman -
666
00:44:20,339 --> 00:44:22,557
that's what we'd have
called her in the old days.
667
00:44:22,558 --> 00:44:24,997
- I didn't even want to go.
- And as for you, miss!
668
00:44:24,998 --> 00:44:27,237
You're worse, worse than
The Bolter, imagine that!
669
00:44:27,238 --> 00:44:28,907
Please stop it
about The Bolter.
670
00:44:28,908 --> 00:44:30,707
- No-one here is like her.
- It's all unfair
671
00:44:30,708 --> 00:44:32,757
because I always feel
like I'm the terrible person,
672
00:44:32,758 --> 00:44:34,397
and then Linda always
seems so innocent.
673
00:44:34,398 --> 00:44:36,837
I blame that depraved sewer Merlin.
674
00:44:36,838 --> 00:44:38,437
Merlin's not depraved!
675
00:44:38,438 --> 00:44:41,887
He travels abroad and reads books
and is sophisticated.
676
00:44:41,888 --> 00:44:44,317
- Travels abroad?
- Yes, and his house
677
00:44:44,318 --> 00:44:46,187
is beautiful and comfortable
and warm,
678
00:44:46,188 --> 00:44:48,797
a place to live in, and not
some freezing medieval fortress
679
00:44:48,798 --> 00:44:50,627
to rush out from
and kill things all day.
680
00:44:50,628 --> 00:44:53,087
I can't sit in a cupboard with
Fanny for the rest of my life!
681
00:44:53,088 --> 00:44:56,037
Well, you won't have to, cos Fanny's
never coming back here again!
682
00:44:56,038 --> 00:44:58,079
And there can be no
question of a London season now.
683
00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:58,838
- Fa, please!
- No!
684
00:44:58,839 --> 00:45:01,239
We shall have to watch you every
minute of the day in future.
685
00:45:01,240 --> 00:45:04,797
You're damn lucky
not to get a thrashing.
686
00:45:04,798 --> 00:45:06,717
Now go to your rooms, both of you.
687
00:45:06,718 --> 00:45:09,947
And you're not to speak
to each other before Fanny leaves!
688
00:45:09,948 --> 00:45:12,227
Luckily, no-one will give them
a second glance now
689
00:45:12,228 --> 00:45:14,628
with that dreadful hair.
690
00:45:25,798 --> 00:45:28,198
Goodbye, Fanny! Goodbye!
691
00:45:28,358 --> 00:45:30,038
Goodbye, Linda.
692
00:45:31,238 --> 00:45:33,027
Oh, we are unlucky to be us!
693
00:45:33,028 --> 00:45:34,588
Bye, darling!
694
00:45:34,908 --> 00:45:39,808
Of course,
we were allowed a London season.
695
00:45:41,988 --> 00:45:44,037
♪ Give my love to London
696
00:45:44,038 --> 00:45:46,438
♪ Say I'll be there soon
697
00:45:46,668 --> 00:45:48,968
♪ Meet me in Piccadilly
698
00:45:49,308 --> 00:45:51,587
♪ And we'll dance by the light
of the moon... ♪
699
00:45:51,588 --> 00:45:54,467
The English upper-class
version of the puberty ritual
700
00:45:54,468 --> 00:45:56,168
finally happened.
701
00:45:56,198 --> 00:45:58,437
Isn't it lovely to be lovely us?
702
00:45:58,438 --> 00:46:00,477
We came out into the world -
703
00:46:00,478 --> 00:46:03,947
18 years old
and ready for a husband.
704
00:46:03,948 --> 00:46:05,917
Do you get up to Scotland much?
705
00:46:05,918 --> 00:46:07,587
Care for nightclubs?
706
00:46:07,588 --> 00:46:10,088
I say, have you come far?
707
00:46:10,468 --> 00:46:12,837
We met last night
at William Stonor's.
708
00:46:12,838 --> 00:46:14,117
Don't you remember?
709
00:46:14,118 --> 00:46:15,118
No.
710
00:46:15,718 --> 00:46:16,718
Uh...
711
00:46:19,558 --> 00:46:22,947
But Linda was still
in her dream of love for Tony.
712
00:46:22,948 --> 00:46:26,148
And Tony was nowhere to be seen.
713
00:46:27,948 --> 00:46:30,048
Oh, what's the point?
714
00:46:30,948 --> 00:46:34,648
I missed my only chance
for happiness.
715
00:46:34,788 --> 00:46:36,587
I'm going to be a sour,
716
00:46:36,588 --> 00:46:39,588
wizened up, toothless old maid
717
00:46:39,968 --> 00:46:41,768
and die in a hole.
718
00:46:43,358 --> 00:46:44,358
Me too.
719
00:46:45,408 --> 00:46:49,808
We'll have each other
to dribble on at least.
720
00:47:00,518 --> 00:47:02,078
Hello, Linda.
721
00:47:02,178 --> 00:47:04,067
I've been looking
everywhere for you.
722
00:47:04,068 --> 00:47:05,068
Really?
723
00:47:05,698 --> 00:47:07,747
Shall I show you the balcony?
724
00:47:07,748 --> 00:47:08,748
Yes.
725
00:47:26,268 --> 00:47:28,477
Hello, darling!
726
00:47:28,478 --> 00:47:30,378
You've got so tall!
727
00:47:30,918 --> 00:47:32,197
Hello, Bolter.
728
00:47:32,198 --> 00:47:33,198
Mummy.
729
00:47:33,858 --> 00:47:35,538
I'm your mummy!
730
00:47:37,668 --> 00:47:40,197
Was that Linda
I just saw you with?
731
00:47:40,198 --> 00:47:41,198
Yes.
732
00:47:41,628 --> 00:47:44,037
Oh, no, it's such a mistake
to be friends with girls
733
00:47:44,038 --> 00:47:45,887
who are more beautiful
than one is, darling.
734
00:47:45,888 --> 00:47:48,107
It's too dispiriting.
Who was she with?
735
00:47:48,108 --> 00:47:49,668
Tony Kroesig.
736
00:47:49,728 --> 00:47:50,928
Tony?! Oh.
737
00:47:51,398 --> 00:47:53,078
That won't last.
738
00:47:56,268 --> 00:47:59,147
I want you to meet
my friend, Colin.
739
00:47:59,148 --> 00:48:00,708
He's so nice!
740
00:48:00,868 --> 00:48:02,868
He's here somewhere.
741
00:48:02,918 --> 00:48:04,837
What happened
to your white hunter?
742
00:48:04,838 --> 00:48:09,638
Dead. Shot in the head
during a safari - too sad.
743
00:48:10,468 --> 00:48:12,517
Oh, well, at least
you didn't have to bolt.
744
00:48:14,178 --> 00:48:17,147
Yeah, no. Yes, for once!
745
00:48:17,148 --> 00:48:20,957
First one I lost respectably -
to death.
746
00:48:20,958 --> 00:48:24,458
Oh, Fanny, dear,
you're very funny.
747
00:48:26,278 --> 00:48:31,678
I'm going to go and fetch
lovely Colin for you to meet.
748
00:48:36,518 --> 00:48:40,357
♪ D'ye ken John Peel
with his coat so gay?
749
00:48:40,358 --> 00:48:44,067
♪ D'ye ken John Peel
at the break o' the day
750
00:48:44,068 --> 00:48:46,627
♪ D'ye ken John Peel
when he's far, far away... ♪
751
00:48:46,628 --> 00:48:49,697
Oh, darling Colin,
everything about you is heaven.
752
00:48:49,698 --> 00:48:51,617
I just want to spend
the whole night with you!
753
00:48:51,618 --> 00:48:52,957
Goodness, let's!
754
00:48:52,958 --> 00:48:54,757
♪ For the sound of his horn... ♪
755
00:48:54,758 --> 00:48:56,157
Come, let's get out of here.
756
00:48:56,158 --> 00:48:59,427
♪ And the cry of his hounds
which he oft times led
757
00:48:59,428 --> 00:49:02,877
♪ Peel's "View, Halloo!"
could awaken the dead
758
00:49:02,878 --> 00:49:06,827
♪ Or the fox from his lair
in the morning
759
00:49:06,828 --> 00:49:10,328
♪ Yes, I ken John Peel
and Ruby too
760
00:49:10,558 --> 00:49:13,827
♪ Ranter and Royal
and Bellman so true
761
00:49:13,828 --> 00:49:15,877
♪ From the drag to the chase
762
00:49:15,878 --> 00:49:18,117
♪ From the chase to the view
763
00:49:18,118 --> 00:49:22,418
♪ From a view to the death
in the morning. ♪
764
00:49:31,618 --> 00:49:35,118
"Darling, I'm your mummy."
765
00:49:41,478 --> 00:49:45,178
"Darling, I'm your mummy."
766
00:49:54,918 --> 00:49:58,557
That bloody Hun
Kroesig has just telephoned.
767
00:49:58,558 --> 00:50:01,117
He wanted to speak to you, Linda.
768
00:50:01,118 --> 00:50:02,917
I told him to get
the hell out of here -
769
00:50:02,918 --> 00:50:04,837
I don't want you mixed up
with any Germans,
770
00:50:04,838 --> 00:50:06,638
do you understand?
771
00:50:07,548 --> 00:50:09,748
Well, I am "mixed up".
772
00:50:11,748 --> 00:50:13,797
As it happens,
I'm engaged to him.
773
00:50:20,898 --> 00:50:22,907
What did you...? Come here!
774
00:50:22,908 --> 00:50:24,827
What did you...?
Come here, you!
775
00:50:24,828 --> 00:50:26,028
Come here!
776
00:50:28,198 --> 00:50:29,627
What did you say?
777
00:50:29,628 --> 00:50:32,728
How dare you! What did you say?
778
00:50:34,308 --> 00:50:36,957
What are you doing?
She just said she's engaged!
779
00:50:56,038 --> 00:51:00,197
It wasn't just Uncle Matthew
who opposed the engagement.
780
00:51:00,198 --> 00:51:04,307
Tony is Bottom
to Linda's Titania, isn't he?
781
00:51:04,308 --> 00:51:06,017
He's ghastly.
782
00:51:06,018 --> 00:51:08,197
A frightful Counter Hon.
783
00:51:08,198 --> 00:51:10,437
Nothing will wake her up.
784
00:51:10,438 --> 00:51:13,317
No. Not before it's too late.
785
00:51:13,318 --> 00:51:14,638
Poor Linda.
786
00:51:16,068 --> 00:51:18,587
She has an intensely
romantic character,
787
00:51:18,588 --> 00:51:21,288
which is fatal for a woman.
788
00:51:21,638 --> 00:51:25,667
And also what makes her
so completely irresistible.
789
00:51:25,668 --> 00:51:28,547
Fortunately, most women
are madly matter-of-fact.
790
00:51:28,548 --> 00:51:32,637
Otherwise, the world
could hardly carry on.
791
00:51:32,638 --> 00:51:34,338
What am I, Davey?
792
00:51:36,798 --> 00:51:38,598
You're you, Fanny.
793
00:51:40,068 --> 00:51:42,068
You'll be all right.
794
00:51:42,758 --> 00:51:43,758
Hm.
795
00:51:45,588 --> 00:51:47,767
Lord Merlin was braver
than the rest of us.
796
00:51:47,768 --> 00:51:49,555
Are you pleased
about my engagement?
797
00:51:49,556 --> 00:51:51,689
No, of course not.
Why are you doing it?
798
00:51:53,118 --> 00:51:54,717
We're in love.
799
00:51:54,718 --> 00:51:56,197
And what makes you think so?
800
00:51:56,198 --> 00:51:59,267
One doesn't think,
one knows.
801
00:51:59,268 --> 00:52:00,968
Oh, fiddlesticks!
802
00:52:05,918 --> 00:52:06,918
Well!
803
00:52:07,718 --> 00:52:11,557
You evidently don't
understand a thing about love.
804
00:52:11,558 --> 00:52:14,557
So what's the use
in talking to you?
805
00:52:14,558 --> 00:52:18,277
Love is for grown-ups,
as you'll discover one day.
806
00:52:18,278 --> 00:52:19,427
You'll also discover
807
00:52:19,428 --> 00:52:21,157
that it's got nothing to do
with marriage.
808
00:52:21,158 --> 00:52:23,867
I'm all in favour
of you marrying, if you so wish,
809
00:52:23,868 --> 00:52:28,667
but for God's sake, not to a bore
like Tony Kroesig!
810
00:52:28,668 --> 00:52:30,307
He's your friend.
811
00:52:30,308 --> 00:52:32,548
If he's such a bore, why would
you bring him to my party?
812
00:52:32,549 --> 00:52:34,717
I can't guess that you'll go
and marry every stopgap
813
00:52:34,718 --> 00:52:37,597
that comes to stay at my house!
814
00:52:49,188 --> 00:52:52,547
Can't think why Merlin
says he's such a bore.
815
00:52:52,548 --> 00:52:54,748
Tony knows everything.
816
00:52:55,908 --> 00:52:58,917
Well, yes, that's exactly
it, he does.
817
00:52:58,918 --> 00:53:01,618
At least he thinks he does.
818
00:53:13,958 --> 00:53:15,237
Oh, bother Merlin.
819
00:53:15,238 --> 00:53:16,787
You know, I'm starting to think
820
00:53:16,788 --> 00:53:19,267
that Fa was right about
him all along.
821
00:53:19,268 --> 00:53:21,668
He is a little depraved.
822
00:53:24,708 --> 00:53:26,388
Don't you think?
823
00:53:39,468 --> 00:53:44,417
I'm afraid I have to make Lavender
Davis chief bridesmaid.
824
00:53:44,418 --> 00:53:46,518
But you'll be second.
825
00:53:47,298 --> 00:53:49,298
She's Tony's cousin.
826
00:53:49,918 --> 00:53:53,267
And she is responsible for us
getting together, after all.
827
00:53:53,268 --> 00:53:55,427
Well, only most unwittingly.
828
00:53:55,428 --> 00:53:59,928
Unwittingly or wittingly,
what does it matter?
829
00:54:22,758 --> 00:54:23,758
Um...
830
00:54:24,828 --> 00:54:26,507
Would you take my flowers
for me?
831
00:54:26,508 --> 00:54:30,208
Take my flowers for me,
would you? Oh!
832
00:54:31,968 --> 00:54:34,427
- Oh, hello, Fanny, darling.
- Come and have a champagne!
833
00:54:34,428 --> 00:54:35,627
Oh, I'm so sorry!
834
00:54:35,628 --> 00:54:39,828
- Excuse me. Sorry.
- No, I'm sorry. Excuse me.
835
00:54:43,748 --> 00:54:44,987
- This...
- There you are.
836
00:54:44,988 --> 00:54:48,588
- Yes, thank you.
- That's all right.I...
837
00:54:48,828 --> 00:54:51,467
Are you one of those
bright young things?
838
00:54:51,468 --> 00:54:53,667
Oh, I don't know.
Would you like me to be?
839
00:54:53,668 --> 00:54:55,368
Not particularly.
840
00:54:57,758 --> 00:54:59,438
- So, uh...
- Fanny!
841
00:54:59,998 --> 00:55:01,667
- Yes?
- Let's talk about...
842
00:55:01,668 --> 00:55:03,647
It's time,
everyone's sitting down.
843
00:55:04,868 --> 00:55:07,187
Yes, can we just, um, chat, Fanny?
844
00:55:07,188 --> 00:55:09,537
Well, we will later - you have
to say hello to everyone.
845
00:55:13,318 --> 00:55:14,318
Come on!
846
00:55:16,838 --> 00:55:17,838
Get in!
847
00:55:22,368 --> 00:55:24,798
Well... What do you think?
848
00:55:24,800 --> 00:55:26,419
It's better than Louisa's,
isn't it?
849
00:55:26,439 --> 00:55:27,669
There's that at least.
850
00:55:27,670 --> 00:55:29,289
I say, has anyone seen Linda?
851
00:55:29,290 --> 00:55:32,141
- Shh, shh, shh!
- I need to start my speech.
852
00:55:32,328 --> 00:55:35,012
Darling, you'd better
get out and be the bride.
853
00:55:35,013 --> 00:55:36,156
I know, I know.
854
00:55:36,158 --> 00:55:38,147
Can we just stay
for a second longer
855
00:55:38,148 --> 00:55:40,637
and just... chat and catch up?
856
00:55:40,638 --> 00:55:42,237
Your train's poking out -
857
00:55:42,238 --> 00:55:44,592
it's going to be quite
obvious you're in here.
858
00:55:44,593 --> 00:55:45,377
Darling,
859
00:55:45,378 --> 00:55:49,278
in my bitter determination
to grow up...
860
00:55:49,918 --> 00:55:53,027
...I'd forgotten we'd have
to stop being children.
861
00:55:53,028 --> 00:55:54,277
Yes, there is that.
862
00:55:54,278 --> 00:55:56,867
Can we still be toothless
old maids together?
863
00:55:56,868 --> 00:55:58,667
Not really -
you just got married!
864
00:56:01,318 --> 00:56:04,387
Oh, dear. I'm feeling a bit lost.
865
00:56:04,388 --> 00:56:05,388
Oh.
866
00:56:05,628 --> 00:56:08,037
Are there really
to be no more Christmases
867
00:56:08,038 --> 00:56:09,437
at Alconleigh?
868
00:56:09,438 --> 00:56:11,138
Linda!
869
00:56:16,478 --> 00:56:18,978
Get out of there at once!
870
00:56:20,068 --> 00:56:23,268
Tony's about to make his speech.
871
00:57:01,918 --> 00:57:05,518
Ah, there she is.
Speak of the devil.
872
00:57:07,998 --> 00:57:09,347
Come on, girl, get over here.
873
00:57:09,348 --> 00:57:11,148
♪ My baby loves me
874
00:57:11,628 --> 00:57:13,247
♪ I'm so happy
875
00:57:13,248 --> 00:57:16,248
♪ Happy makes me a modern girl
876
00:57:16,708 --> 00:57:18,388
♪ Took my money
877
00:57:18,948 --> 00:57:22,397
♪ And bought a TV... ♪
Go on.
878
00:57:22,398 --> 00:57:24,498
I love you.
879
00:57:25,478 --> 00:57:28,178
Er, when I first met Linda,
880
00:57:28,678 --> 00:57:31,787
she told me she was
an Honourable,
881
00:57:31,788 --> 00:57:33,537
the daughter of a baron,
882
00:57:33,538 --> 00:57:35,738
spoke fluent French...
883
00:57:39,468 --> 00:57:43,268
...and rode to hounds
with the Bicester.
884
00:57:47,878 --> 00:57:49,797
And I knew, right off the bat,
885
00:57:49,798 --> 00:57:51,587
she was hellbent on marrying me.
886
00:57:53,758 --> 00:57:56,197
Despite all that, I still
managed to fall for her!
887
00:57:57,988 --> 00:58:00,357
Erm, you see, I think what...
888
00:58:00,358 --> 00:58:04,067
...what sealed the deal,
as we say in banking...
889
00:58:06,758 --> 00:58:08,438
♪ I'm so happy
890
00:58:08,678 --> 00:58:10,358
♪ Happy makes me
891
00:58:10,398 --> 00:58:12,078
♪ A modern girl
892
00:58:12,128 --> 00:58:13,808
♪ Took my money
893
00:58:13,918 --> 00:58:16,218
♪ And bought a doughnut
894
00:58:16,428 --> 00:58:19,487
♪ The hole's the size of
this entire world
895
00:58:19,488 --> 00:58:21,168
♪ My whole life
896
00:58:23,518 --> 00:58:26,917
♪ Was like a picture
of a sunny day
897
00:58:26,918 --> 00:58:28,598
♪ My whole life
898
00:58:30,828 --> 00:58:34,728
♪ Looked like the picture
of a sunny day
899
00:58:49,378 --> 00:58:51,178
♪ My baby loves me
900
00:58:51,358 --> 00:58:53,038
♪ I'm so angry
901
00:58:53,388 --> 00:58:56,388
♪ Anger makes me a modern girl
902
00:58:56,748 --> 00:58:58,428
♪ Took my money
903
00:58:58,668 --> 00:59:00,837
♪ I couldn't buy nothin'
904
00:59:00,838 --> 00:59:04,238
♪ I'm sick of this brave new world
905
00:59:04,358 --> 00:59:06,038
♪ My whole life
906
00:59:08,028 --> 00:59:11,517
♪ Was like the picture
of a sunny day
907
00:59:11,518 --> 00:59:13,198
♪ My whole life
908
00:59:15,358 --> 00:59:19,558
♪ Looked like the picture
of a sunny day. ♪
67263
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