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1
00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:09,200
- Guess how fast we're going now.
- I don't care, I'm having a baby!
2
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:12,400
Hundred and five miles an hour,
you believe that?
3
00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:20,400
Reese, you just passed the hospital!
4
00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,300
- The baby's coming, he's coming now!
- All right, all right, hold on.
5
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:28,400
- Okay, but I think he might be stuck.
- Grab onto something. Ready?
6
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:30,600
One, two, three!
7
00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:39,400
It's a baby boy.
8
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,600
I'm happy that Waffle House
was okay with me coming here...
9
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,900
...to talk to y'all about
my day-to-day.
10
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,900
And, y'all, that's pretty much,
in a shell...
11
00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,400
...what it's like to manage
a Waffle House.
12
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,000
Ma'am, I don't know what else
you want me to say to them.
13
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:57,600
And I'm also gonna need to know
where your commode's at.
14
00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,500
Okay, let's give him a round
of applause. Thank you.
15
00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:04,500
Okay, next up is Ricky Bobby.
Ricky, is your father here?
16
00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,000
No, ma'am.
I haven't seen my daddy in years.
17
00:02:08,300 --> 00:02:10,400
But my mama say he's out
racing cars...
18
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,800
...and, well, dipping his wick
in anything that moves.
19
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:17,500
Okay, kids, that's enough.
We're gonna move on to Brennan.
20
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,500
Don't pay them no mind, Ricky.
21
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,100
Thanks, Cal. Shake and Bake.
You'll be my best friend forever.
22
00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:25,000
- His job is like as a prison guard.
23
00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:28,100
Excuse me, darling.
I'm Reese Bobby.
24
00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:30,600
I'm here for career day
with my son, Ricky.
25
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,400
- Dad!
- Hey there, boy!
26
00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:36,500
Man, you got big. How long's it been?
Three, four months?
27
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,600
- Ten years.
- Ten years?
28
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,000
Man, I gotta lay off the peyote.
29
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:42,800
Mr. Bobby,
there's no smoking in here.
30
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,800
It's all right, I'm a volunteer fireman.
31
00:02:45,100 --> 00:02:48,700
Okay, I am a semi-professional
racecar driver...
32
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,500
...and an amateur tattoo artist.
33
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,800
And the first thing you gotta learn
if you're gonna be a racecar driver...
34
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,400
...is you don't listen to losers...
35
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:02,000
...like your know-it-all teacher here.
- Okay, I think that's enough.
36
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:05,200
Your teacher wants you to go slow,
and she's wrong...
37
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,900
...because it's the fastest who gets paid
and it's the fastest who gets laid.
38
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,500
Oh, yeah.
You know what I'm talking about.
39
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,200
You people are in the wrong
on this one!
40
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,400
So in the wrong!
41
00:03:18,700 --> 00:03:22,400
This is egregious,
do you hear me? Egregious!
42
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,000
We were cellmates together, Andy.
You got payback coming!
43
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:32,600
Dad!
44
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,300
Don't listen to these people, Ricky.
You're a winner.
45
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:40,400
You got the gift. Always remember,
if you ain't first, you're last.
46
00:03:43,500 --> 00:03:47,200
If you ain't first, you're last.
47
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,400
- See you when you're grown up.
- Dad! Come back, Dad!
48
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,200
It's a hot one here in Talladega...
49
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:10,000
...and this crowd of over 180,000
is enjoying one heck of a day.
50
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:27,700
Yo, Terry. Terry, we got the caution.
Bring it in for a pit. Let's work on it.
51
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,300
All right, fellas, let's go.
52
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,000
Looking good. Yes, come on.
53
00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:45,400
Keep it up, baby.
54
00:04:46,500 --> 00:04:48,800
- All right, way to go.
- Go, way to go.
55
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,500
Nice jack work, Ricky.
56
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:52,500
Hey, Shake and Bake, Cal.
57
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:55,700
- Shake and Bake!
- Terry, it's all on you, bro. You go.
58
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,100
Go, baby, go.
Wait, what are you doing?
59
00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:01,000
- I gotta take a piss.
- Go, go, go!
60
00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:03,800
It doesn't matter, Lucius.
We're in last place. Relax.
61
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,800
Jeez, I gotta go take a whiz.
Get off my ass.
62
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,900
You see,
this is what I'm talking about.
63
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:12,600
That's why this group right here
is the laughingstock of NASCAR.
64
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,500
Face it, we suck.
65
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:18,400
It's not always bad to be in last place.
Here's some things we can focus on:
66
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:21,600
One, we tried hard.
And two, we're still dear friends.
67
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:23,200
Glenn, shut up.
68
00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:26,000
I see Terry.
He's having a chicken sandwich.
69
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:31,000
Hey, fellas! These are really good.
You should try one.
70
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,000
That place actually makes
a nice sauce.
71
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,400
Let me eat this,
then I gotta make a phone call...
72
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:38,400
...then I'm coming back, all right?
- This is the bottom line.
73
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,400
If we don't get that car
back on the track...
74
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,200
...our sponsors are gonna
shit a chicken.
75
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:48,400
Now, is there anyone out there
who wants to go fast? Anybody?
76
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,600
I wanna go fast.
77
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,500
Hey, get him a suit. Hurry up,
make it snappy. Let's go.
78
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:57,900
- Hustle up, hustle up.
- Hey, man!
79
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,600
Remember when we got kicked out of
biology for playing with Matchbox cars?
80
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,300
- Yeah!
- Who's retarded now?
81
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,600
- Yeah.
- Hey, what are you doing after this?
82
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,200
- After the race?
- Yeah.
83
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,400
I don't know, but it feels like
we're wasting a lot of time.
84
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:14,600
No, I know, I know.
I'm just excited, man!
85
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:18,200
- Yeah, I know. Yeah.
- Hey! I love you!
86
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:19,900
- What?
- Nothing.
87
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:22,900
Shake and Bake! Get some!
88
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,300
You're my best friend!
You're my best friend!
89
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,200
- Okay, then!
- I'm in there with you!
90
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,200
- I gotta get going!
- Go, go!
91
00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:38,500
- Yeah!
- That's Ricky, baby!
92
00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:40,000
That's my boy, Ricky!
93
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,500
Hey, Ricky,
just remember one thing:
94
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,700
If you wreck that car,
that's 200 grand out of your pocket...
95
00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:51,900
...so let's take it nice and slow, okay?
96
00:06:52,100 --> 00:06:55,800
With all due respect, Lucius,
I'm gonna do some driving.
97
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:00,600
Excuse me, coming through.
98
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:06,000
Apparently, we've got a situation for
the Laughing Clown, number 26 car.
99
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,000
Terry Cheveaux is refusing to drive.
One of his crew members...
100
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,500
...has taken the wheel.
101
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:13,800
Hey, just wanted to share a little piece
of personal information with you.
102
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,300
I got a chubby right now...
103
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,600
...because this is one of the most
awesome experiences of my life...
104
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,400
...because I'm getting to
drive a racecar!
105
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,200
I can't believe it! Oh, my God!
106
00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:42,600
Wow, that was cool.
107
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:44,700
Come on, come on.
108
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:54,500
The big story from Talladega:
109
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:58,000
Little-known jack-man Ricky Bobby
places third in the Dennit machine.
110
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:01,400
Ricky, first of all,
where did you learn to drive like that?
111
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:05,600
In a car.
Car handle really good. Yeah.
112
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,600
Can you speak up, Ricky?
113
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,600
A car.
It handled real good.
114
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:12,200
So, what do you think, Mr. Dennit?
He sure can drive.
115
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,800
He's got guts.
Dennit Racing needs a racer like him.
116
00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:17,800
Come on, Dad.
He's just a stupid cowboy.
117
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,500
Look how bad he is
in that interview.
118
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:23,500
Junior, driving has got nothing
to do with interviews.
119
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,600
I just wish to hell you had
a little more stupid cowboy in you.
120
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:30,400
I felt like I was on a spaceship and...
121
00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:33,100
I'm not sure
what to do with my hands.
122
00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:35,200
Be good to hold them down
by your side.
123
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:39,400
We're really happy
with what was going on.
124
00:08:39,700 --> 00:08:44,500
And at the end of the day, you know,
you gotta be happy.
125
00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:48,600
- What did you say his name was again?
- His name is Ricky. Ricky Bobby.
126
00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:51,500
Ricky Bobby?
He's got two first names.
127
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,600
Whatever his name is,
let's get him over here.
128
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,000
Everything ended up fine.
129
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,400
Yeah, okay, everything was fine.
Thanks, thanks. Great job in the car.
130
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,900
Ricky Bobby, a force to be
reckoned with, possibly...
131
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:04,400
...in the near future.
132
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,600
Ricky Bobby with yet another
impressive win.
133
00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:08,500
He is dominating NAS CAR.
134
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,400
First or last, baby, you know it!
135
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,400
I've never seen a driver who
wants to win more than this guy.
136
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,000
I could get used to
this winning thing!
137
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:35,800
Dennit Racing Incorporated
has decided to field an additional car.
138
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,900
And, at the urging of Ricky Bobby...
139
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:43,200
...who's been like a son to me,
only better...
140
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,800
...I'm naming Cal Naughton Jr.
As the driver.
141
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,400
All right.
142
00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:52,400
- Cal Naughton.
- Hey...
143
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:55,200
...we just want to say to all
you other drivers out there...
144
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:58,500
...if you smell a delicious,
crispy smell after the race...
145
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:01,800
...it's not your tailpipe,
it's a little bit...
146
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,500
...of shake...
147
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:06,000
And then bake.
148
00:10:06,300 --> 00:10:07,500
Shake and Bake!
149
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:10,300
- That's our nickname.
- Get used to hearing it.
150
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,300
And Ricky Bobby wins...
151
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,800
...with Cal Naughton Jr.
Finishing second.
152
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,300
- Yeah!
- Hey, man!
153
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,700
- Shake...
- And bake!
154
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:25,400
Hey, driver! Drive these.
155
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,400
Please be 18.
156
00:10:40,900 --> 00:10:43,800
You want to make this out
to Charlotte?
157
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,500
Hey, excuse me, Ricky.
158
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,600
- Hey, Dale.
- Hey, can I get your autograph?
159
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,800
- Sure. Who do I make this out to?
- It's for me. I think you're awesome.
160
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,400
- Don't tell the other drivers.
- I'm not gonna tell anyone.
161
00:10:53,700 --> 00:10:55,000
I'll see you out there.
162
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,200
Absolutely, ma'am,
I'd love to sign your baby.
163
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,400
You're not gonna wanna wash
that forehead.
164
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:03,400
- That's right, Powerade's number one.
- Not just for hydration, for vitamin.
165
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,000
No, it's me,
it's me, Susan, your assistant.
166
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:08,300
Gotta watch it when I get into
autograph mode.
167
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:11,400
I know, I'm sorry. It's my fault,
I shouldn't have been standing.
168
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,100
I'm Ricky Bobby.
Christmas is right around the corner...
169
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,300
...and what better gift
to give a loved one...
170
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,100
...than the Jackhawk 9000?
171
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:19,600
Available at Wal-Mart.
172
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,200
When you work on
your mysterious lady-part stuff...
173
00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:25,800
...you should have the right tools too.
So that's why you should use...
174
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,900
...Maypax, the official tampon
of NASCAR.
175
00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:30,800
I'm Ricky Bobby.
176
00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:34,300
If you don't chew Big Red,
then f*** you.
177
00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:39,900
Prune candy.
178
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,500
- You happy?
- I'm very happy.
179
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:46,200
- Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby.
- And I'm Cal Naughton Jr.
180
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,600
Urging you never to travel
to Tijuana.
181
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:50,600
Ricky! Ricky! Ricky!
182
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,900
Okay, I'm starting to get sick.
183
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:56,800
Dick Berggren in Las Vegas,
Victory Lane, for Fox Television.
184
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,900
Ricky Bobby, today's big winner.
Heck of a win for you today...
185
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:04,200
...but it seems as if you either win
or crash the car trying to win.
186
00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,500
Well, Dick, here's the deal.
I'm the best there is, plain and simple.
187
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,000
I mean, I wake up in the morning
and I piss excellence.
188
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,200
And nobody can hang with my stuff.
189
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,500
You know, I'm just a big, hairy,
American winning machine.
190
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:18,600
If you ain't first, you're last.
You know what I'm talking about?
191
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:20,200
That phrase is trademarked...
192
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,800
...not to be used without permission
of Ricky Bobby Inc.
193
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:33,400
Supper's ready! Come on, y'all!
I've been slaving over this for hours!
194
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,500
Dear Lord baby Jesus...
195
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:41,100
...or as our brothers
to the south call you, Jesus...
196
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:47,400
...we thank you so much for this
bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC...
197
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,501
...and the always delicious Taco Bell.
198
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,500
I just want to take time to say
thank you for my family...
199
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:57,200
...my two beautiful, beautiful,
handsome, striking sons...
200
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,800
...Walker and Texas Ranger...
201
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,000
...or T.R., as we call him...
202
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:05,000
...and of course,
my red-hot smoking wife, Carley...
203
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,000
...who is a stone-cold fox.
204
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:10,800
Who if you were to rate her ass
on 100, it would easily be a 94.
205
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,400
Also wanna thank you for
my best friend, Cal Naughton Jr...
206
00:13:14,500 --> 00:13:16,400
...who's got my back
no matter what.
207
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:18,600
Shake and Bake.
208
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,900
Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also
thank you for my wife's father, Chip.
209
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,400
We hope that you can use
your baby Jesus powers...
210
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:27,400
...to heal him and his horrible leg.
211
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:31,200
And it smells terrible and
the dogs are always bothering with it.
212
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,000
Dear tiny infant Jesus, we...
213
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,000
Hey, you know, sweetie...
214
00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:37,400
...Jesus did grow up.
215
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,600
You don't always have to
call him "baby."
216
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,400
It's odd and off-putting
to pray to a baby.
217
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:44,500
Well, I like the Christmas Jesus best
and I'm saying grace.
218
00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,300
When you say grace, say it to
grownup Jesus, teenage Jesus...
219
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,000
...bearded Jesus,
whoever you want.
220
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,500
You know what I want?
221
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:55,200
I want you to do this grace good,
so that God will let us win tomorrow.
222
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,200
Dear tiny Jesus...
223
00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:02,200
...in your golden-fleece diapers,
with your tiny, little, fat, balled-up fists...
224
00:14:02,500 --> 00:14:04,800
...pawing at the air...
- He was a man. He had a beard.
225
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:07,400
Look, I like the baby version the best,
do you hear me?
226
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:09,400
I win the races and I get the money.
227
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:13,200
Ricky, finish the damn grace.
228
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:16,200
I like to picture Jesus
in a tuxedo T-shirt...
229
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:19,000
...because it says, like,
"I wanna be formal...
230
00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:21,000
- Right.
...but I'm here to party too."
231
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,500
Because I like to party,
so I like my Jesus to party.
232
00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:27,300
I like to picture Jesus as a ninja
fighting off evil samurai.
233
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,400
I like to think of Jesus,
like, with giant eagle's wings.
234
00:14:31,500 --> 00:14:34,600
And singing lead vocals
for Lynyrd Skynyrd...
235
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,600
...with, like, a angel band.
236
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,500
And I'm in the front row,
and I'm hammered drunk.
237
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:41,500
Hey, Cal?
Why don't you just shut up?
238
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:43,600
- Yes, ma'am.
- Okay.
239
00:14:43,900 --> 00:14:49,300
Dear 8-pound, 6-ounce,
newborn infant Jesus...
240
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:51,400
...don't even know a word yet...
241
00:14:51,700 --> 00:14:55,600
...just a little infant and so cuddly,
but still omnipotent...
242
00:14:55,900 --> 00:15:00,400
...we just thank you for all the races
I've won and the 21.2 million dollars...
243
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,300
Love that money!
244
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,900
- That I have accrued
over this past season.
245
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,300
Also, due to a binding
endorsement contract...
246
00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:11,900
...that stipulates I mention
Powerade at each grace...
247
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,400
...I just wanna say that
Powerade is delicious...
248
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,700
...and it cools you off
on a hot summer day.
249
00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:22,600
And we look forward to Powerade's
release of Mystic Mountain Blueberry.
250
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,200
Thank you for all your power
and your grace, dear baby God. Amen.
251
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,500
- Amen.
- Amen.
252
00:15:27,700 --> 00:15:29,000
Let's dig in!
253
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,200
That was a hell of a grace, man.
You nailed that like a split hog!
254
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:34,200
I'm not gonna lie to you, it felt good.
255
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,100
Dad, you made that grace your bitch.
256
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,600
Hey, boys, I wanna see
some napkins in the lap.
257
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,200
Boys, how was school today?
258
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,400
I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's
war medals off the bridge.
259
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:47,000
Sounds like a good day.
Texas Ranger, how about you?
260
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,500
Well, the teacher asked me what
was the capital of North Carolina.
261
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,600
I said, "Washington, D.C."
262
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:53,600
- Bingo.
- Nice.
263
00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:57,800
She said, "No, you're wrong."
I said, "You got a lumpy butt."
264
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,400
She got mad at me and yelled at me
and I pissed in my pants.
265
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:04,400
And I never did change
my pee pants all day.
266
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,600
I'm still sitting in my dirty pee pants.
267
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,100
I wet my bed until I was 19.
There's no shame in that.
268
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:14,700
I get emotional because
you guys are working so hard.
269
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,900
I'm just so proud of you.
You remind me of me...
270
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,700
...precocious and full of wonderment.
271
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,800
Tell you what, Ricky,
you are truly blessed.
272
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,400
- These two are two in a million.
- I am.
273
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:26,600
Just like Carley's tatas.
274
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,900
You won't find another rack like that,
I guarantee.
275
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,800
Thank you, Cal.
276
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,500
That's real sweet of you, Cal.
277
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,500
That's real nice. That's one of
the nicest things you've ever said.
278
00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:38,300
- Well, I mean it.
- Stop, you're gonna make me cry.
279
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:40,200
It comes from my heart, that's why.
280
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,400
I can't hold my tongue.
281
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:46,000
These kids are my grandchildren,
and you are raising them wrong.
282
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,500
They are terrible boys.
283
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:50,300
Shut up, Chip,
or I'll go ape-shit on your ass!
284
00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:53,000
I'm gonna scissor-kick you
in the back of the head.
285
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,100
- Yeah!
- Yeah. Turn up the heat.
286
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:56,800
Go on and get some, boys.
287
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,400
I'm 10 years old,
but I'll beat your ass.
288
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,100
Chip, I'm gonna come at you
like a spider monkey.
289
00:17:02,300 --> 00:17:04,000
Like a spider monkey! Go on.
290
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,400
Chip, you brought this on.
291
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,400
The greatest generation, my ass.
292
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:09,200
Tom Brokaw is a punk.
293
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,400
What is wrong with you?
294
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,700
Chip, I'm all jacked up
on Mountain Dew.
295
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,600
I love that.
296
00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:21,500
I sure as hell am, Chip.
I love the way they're talking to you.
297
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,500
They're winners.
Winners get to do what they want.
298
00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:26,200
Hell, you're just a bag of bones.
299
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:29,100
Only thing you ever done with your life
is make a hot daughter.
300
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,300
That's it. That is it!
301
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:32,600
We wanted us some wussies...
302
00:17:32,900 --> 00:17:35,600
...we would've named them Dr. Quinn
and Medicine Woman, okay?
303
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,900
I work too hard for your bull, Chip.
304
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,900
Come here.
You make me hot. Come here.
305
00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:42,400
Everyone just keep eating.
306
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,100
- It's on.
- Come here. Come here.
307
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,900
All right.
308
00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:51,500
I'll hold your hair.
309
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:05,500
- Hey, Stephen.
- Hey, Ricky.
310
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,500
Got those two tickets
for my special friend?
311
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:11,400
Yeah, sure do. You know I do, Ricky.
Got them right here, buddy.
312
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,800
Great. Hey,
how's your mama's hip?
313
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,100
She's gonna be all right,
thank you for asking.
314
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,400
- Appreciate it. Hey, good luck today.
- Thanks.
315
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,900
That's the saddest thing
I've ever seen in my life.
316
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,800
That boy leaves two tickets
for his daddy at every race...
317
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,400
...and he never shows up.
318
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,300
That's a shame.
319
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,500
The human heart is such a mystery.
320
00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:34,000
- Let's sell these bitches, huh?
- Hell, yeah.
321
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,000
- Beer money, huh?
- There you go. Yes.
322
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,600
As the laps wind down,
Jamie McMurray is the leader.
323
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:43,900
Cal Naughton in second.
Ricky Bobby in third.
324
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,600
What's up, Cal? You ready
for a little Shake-and-Bake-age?
325
00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,600
- Hey, buddy.
- Naughton Jr. Is letting Ricky Bobby...
326
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:53,400
...draft up to him to make
that slingshot move past McMurray.
327
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,200
Can you believe that he would do that
for his teammate?
328
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,000
Set him up that way?
329
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,200
Slingshot, engage.
330
00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,400
And there goes Ricky Bobby
on the outside!
331
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,600
That's how we do it.
332
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,400
Makes his move.
Naughton's giving him plenty of room.
333
00:19:09,400 --> 00:19:12,100
What in the hell is he doing, guys?
Get him off of me.
334
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,400
They touch! They spin!
335
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:16,700
Snap!
336
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:19,700
Come on, man!
337
00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:25,800
See you, wouldn't wanna be you.
338
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:40,100
Look at that! Ricky Bobby's gonna
try to win the race in reverse.
339
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:42,000
Man, he wants this win bad!
340
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,800
Ricky Bobby wins it in reverse!
341
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,800
Unbelievable!
I love that! That is cool!
342
00:19:48,100 --> 00:19:53,000
Jamie, losing's never fun, but here's
something to pick your spirits up.
343
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,800
It's real nice.
I got it at Target. It's on sale.
344
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,100
Yeah!
345
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,200
- That's it. Another one. Another one.
- All right, man. We did it!
346
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,800
I don't wanna be raining on
your parade, but I gotta tell you...
347
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:20,000
...that was some of the dumbest driving
I have ever seen in my life.
348
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,200
- Thank you.
- And I know you won the race...
349
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:23,900
...but you're not gonna live forever.
350
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,900
I'm not stupid, Lucius.
No one lives forever. No one.
351
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:31,200
But with advances in modern science
and my high level of income...
352
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:35,000
...I mean, it's not crazy to think
I can't live to be 245, maybe 300.
353
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,600
I just read in the newspaper they
put a pig heart in some Russian guy.
354
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:41,200
Know what...? I mean,
do you know what that means?
355
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,000
No, I don't know what that means.
I guess, longer life.
356
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,000
- Well, no, he didn't live.
- He didn't live?
357
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,800
No. It's just exciting
that we're trying things like that.
358
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,600
- Ricky?
- Hey, Mr. Dennit.
359
00:20:51,900 --> 00:20:53,900
- Cheers.
- Yeah.
360
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,500
- She already wasted?
- Celebrating.
361
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,800
She's celebrating.
You feel pretty good today, huh?
362
00:20:59,100 --> 00:21:01,000
Look, Ricky,
early word out of NASCAR...
363
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:04,000
...is your little obscene gesture's
gonna cost you 100 points.
364
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,500
You know how much that costs us
in sponsorship dollars?
365
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:08,400
With all due respect, Mr. Dennit...
366
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:13,600
...I had no idea you had experimental
surgery to have your balls removed.
367
00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:15,800
What did you say?
What was that?
368
00:21:16,100 --> 00:21:17,900
Well, what?
I said, "With all due respect."
369
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,800
That doesn't mean you get to say
whatever you wanna say to me.
370
00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:22,700
- It sure as heck does.
- No, it doesn't.
371
00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:24,500
It's in the Geneva Convention.
Look it up.
372
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,900
I remember your daddy
used to love it.
373
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:31,800
- This is not my dad... This is my team...
- Used to love it when I used to win.
374
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,500
Now, I suggest you and your wife,
Mrs. Jim Beam...
375
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,700
...you guys go take a chill pill.
Enjoy the win!
376
00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:38,600
- Come on, man!
- Yeah, Ricky. Okay.
377
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,500
Baby, photo op, photo op.
Come on.
378
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,400
Come on, number one.
379
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,400
Hold my hand, baby.
380
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:56,600
I'll tell you what, though, guys,
that was a hell of a race today.
381
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:59,500
- Shake and Bake in full effect.
- It's always been like that.
382
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,400
Me and Ricky,
since we were little kids, man.
383
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:06,800
We go together like Chinese food
and chocolate pudding. Let's face it.
384
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,600
Yeah, but those are two things
that don't really go together.
385
00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:12,400
We go together
like cocaine and waffles.
386
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,300
No, like, for instance,
if I say peanut butter and...
387
00:22:15,900 --> 00:22:17,800
- Ladies, right?
- Yep.
388
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,200
- No, jelly.
- Am I right?
389
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,500
- Jelly?
- You like to put jelly on a lady?
390
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,600
I'm gonna settle this thing.
Let's just get ourselves...
391
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,600
...a whole mess of cocktails,
get drunk and work this thing out.
392
00:22:28,900 --> 00:22:30,500
- Work this thing out.
- That's right.
393
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:35,400
So I was talking to Nana on Saturday,
and her birthday's coming up...
394
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,800
...but I don't know what to get her.
She's gonna be 88.
395
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,600
Get her a coffin.
396
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:49,500
Hey, Cal, I'm sorry
about wrecking you today.
397
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:53,600
- I mean, but that was for the team.
- No, that's cool. That's cool, I know.
398
00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,200
I was thinking, though, one time...
399
00:22:56,400 --> 00:23:01,000
...it would be really awesome if, like,
you could slingshot me in for a win.
400
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,700
Yeah, but... Okay, but if you won...
401
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,300
...how am I gonna win?
- Yeah.
402
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,000
- Think about it.
- No, I was thinking about it.
403
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:11,400
I mean, it's not like
you're finishing 18th.
404
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:14,500
- There's nothing wrong with silver.
- Nothing wrong with silver at all.
405
00:23:14,700 --> 00:23:17,000
I'm just kidding you, man.
I don't wanna win.
406
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,800
I'll just bury it down inside.
407
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:23,700
Bury it deep down in there,
and never bring it up again.
408
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,200
It's painful, and I love you!
409
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:28,200
Get her a gigolo.
410
00:23:28,500 --> 00:23:31,100
- What?
- A guy to have sex with her.
411
00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:33,200
No, she's gonna be 88 and...
412
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,000
You don't stop liking sex
when you're old.
413
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:40,400
Well, I was thinking
more along the line of...
414
00:23:40,700 --> 00:23:45,200
- Like, she likes afghans and quilts.
- She's probably got a million of those.
415
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,400
How many dudes does she have
coming over to have sex with her?
416
00:23:48,900 --> 00:23:51,700
- None.
- Exactly.
417
00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:54,100
Be thoughtful, Glenn.
418
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,000
Don't stop.
419
00:24:03,900 --> 00:24:04,800
What is that?
420
00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:07,600
Someone made a tape of
something dying or something.
421
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:09,600
Hey, turn that crap off.
What's going on?
422
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,700
I want this music out of my head.
423
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,500
Hey, turn that off!
424
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,900
Turn that off right now!
425
00:24:21,500 --> 00:24:24,200
Why did you stop the jazz music?
426
00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:28,200
Was it not pleasant for you?
427
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,300
No one plays jazz here
at The Pit Stop, okay?
428
00:24:31,500 --> 00:24:33,900
So why is the song on the jukebox?
429
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,400
We keep it on there
for profiling purposes.
430
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,500
We also got
the Pet Shop Boys and Seal.
431
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,300
My name is Jean Girard...
432
00:24:44,500 --> 00:24:48,000
...and I am a racing-car driver
just like you...
433
00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:51,300
...except I am from Formula Un.
434
00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:55,800
I am the greatest one
in the whole world.
435
00:24:56,000 --> 00:25:01,400
I have been following your career
with great interest, Monsieur Bobby.
436
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:04,200
I can't understand a word
you've said the whole time.
437
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,200
Did you eat peanut butter
or something?
438
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,400
You sound like a dog with peanut butter
on the roof of your mouth.
439
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:13,100
I think what you are hearing
is my accent.
440
00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:15,800
I am French.
441
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,500
You say you're French?
442
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,500
We? No, we are not French.
443
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,900
We're American,
because you're in America, okay?
444
00:25:25,100 --> 00:25:26,600
Greatest country on the planet.
445
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,600
Well, what have you
given the world...
446
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:32,800
...apart from George Bush, Cheerios,
and the ThighMaster?
447
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,000
- Chinese food?
- Chinese food.
448
00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:36,600
That's from China.
449
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,800
- Pizza.
- Italy.
450
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,400
- Chimichanga.
- Mexican.
451
00:25:41,700 --> 00:25:44,400
Really, smarty-pants?
What did French land give us?
452
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:48,700
We invented democracy,
existentialism...
453
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,200
...and the blowjob.
454
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,300
- Those are three pretty good things.
- Hey.
455
00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:55,000
Well, that last one's pretty cool.
456
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,900
You know, the 69 with
the head near the... That bit.
457
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,400
We came up with it.
458
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,900
We created the missionary position.
459
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,700
- You're welcome.
- Ricky Bobby...
460
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,000
...I have come here to defeat you.
461
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:14,000
Oh, well, there's strikes two and three
right there.
462
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,200
Did you hear what he just said?
463
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,700
Well, welcome to America, amigo.
464
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,800
You are fast, Ricky Bobby...
465
00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,200
...but I am faster.
466
00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:34,100
All right, you let go of me,
you Formula One jazz nutjob!
467
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:36,800
Like the frightened baby chipmunk...
468
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,800
...you are scared by anything
that is different.
469
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,400
I will let you go, Ricky...
470
00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:46,800
...but first I want you to say:
471
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,700
"I love crepes."
472
00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:55,500
Don't you say it, Ricky.
These colors don't run.
473
00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:57,300
- I'm not gonna say it.
- Good.
474
00:26:57,500 --> 00:26:59,500
Hey, look, Frenchy,
I thought about it.
475
00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:02,000
So why don't you go ahead
and break my arm?
476
00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:05,400
I do not want to break your arm,
Monsieur Bobby...
477
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,100
...but I am a man of my word.
478
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,400
Here's the deal.
He's not gonna break it...
479
00:27:09,500 --> 00:27:12,000
...because I'm gonna slip
out of it right now. Houdini.
480
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:13,500
Get down, you little pancake.
481
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,200
Someone get me a beer
while I'm here.
482
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,500
But you have forced me to do this.
483
00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,500
You are now mocking me
and making me look ridiculous.
484
00:27:20,700 --> 00:27:22,500
Just say, "I love crepes."
485
00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:26,400
You know, just to put this in there, I had
a whole mess of crepes this morning.
486
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,600
They're like pancakes,
maybe even better.
487
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,500
- Are they the really thin pancakes?
- Yeah.
488
00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:34,500
They are the really thin pancakes.
It's just a French word for them.
489
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,400
- My God, I love those.
- Put any syrups you want on them.
490
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,400
- I'm saying, think about it.
- They come with cheese sometimes?
491
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,300
Yes, of course,
a fromage-crepe.
492
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:44,400
Well, why didn't someone
yell that right away?
493
00:27:44,700 --> 00:27:46,400
You know what's in
the crepe suzette?
494
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,600
- Oh, I love the crepe suzette.
- With the sugar...
495
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,400
...and lemon juice, Grand Marnier.
- Sugar and lemon juice.
496
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,200
I wish I could crawl into
one of those right now.
497
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:58,000
- I'd eat my way out from the inside.
- They are tasty.
498
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,600
Either way this goes, could we
get some after we're done?
499
00:28:00,900 --> 00:28:03,500
- Absolutely. We're gonna do that.
- So, what if you just said:
500
00:28:03,700 --> 00:28:08,000
"I love really thin pancakes"?
That is a fair compromise, no?
501
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,400
- That is a fair compromise.
- Very fair, actually.
502
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,300
No! Because then everyone
would know I really meant crepes.
503
00:28:13,500 --> 00:28:15,000
That's a pretty good compromise.
504
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:18,100
Why do you want me
to break your arm so badly?
505
00:28:18,300 --> 00:28:21,400
You don't understand
because you don't understand liberty.
506
00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:23,500
You don't understand freedom.
507
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:27,400
So you put a crack in my arm
like the crack in the Liberty Bell.
508
00:28:27,700 --> 00:28:30,500
Hey. This is just
between you and me, okay?
509
00:28:30,700 --> 00:28:32,900
I mean, forget all these other guys.
510
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,800
But he did give you a pretty
decent out. But it's your call.
511
00:28:36,100 --> 00:28:37,700
What do you think?
512
00:28:38,500 --> 00:28:40,400
- Don't say it.
- Yeah. I'm not gonna say it.
513
00:28:40,500 --> 00:28:42,000
Break it, Pepe Le Pew.
514
00:28:42,500 --> 00:28:43,600
As you wish.
515
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,800
- He actually did it!
- All right. You did it. Back off.
516
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,000
- I didn't say it!
- No, you did not.
517
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:56,600
Your injury is one
of ignorance and pride.
518
00:28:58,900 --> 00:29:01,500
Hold it right there,
Mr. Fancy Pants Foreigner.
519
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,100
You just broke my bro's arm.
520
00:29:03,300 --> 00:29:04,800
Now you're about to get Tasered.
521
00:29:06,300 --> 00:29:09,000
- Say hello to Dr. Watts.
- Get him, Cal.
522
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:13,400
I need you all to step away...
523
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:14,800
...from my driver.
524
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,000
The hell you talking about, "my driver"?
What are you doing with a gun?
525
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,600
Don't you worry about my gun, Ricky.
526
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,700
Jean Girard is my new boy
at Dennit Racing. He's here to win us...
527
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,600
...an overall-points championship,
something you apparently...
528
00:29:26,900 --> 00:29:29,600
...have no interest in.
He's gonna usher in a new era.
529
00:29:29,600 --> 00:29:31,400
Mr. Dennit, with all due respect...
530
00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:33,800
And remember,
I'm saying, "with all due respect."
531
00:29:34,100 --> 00:29:38,500
- That idea ain't worth a velvet painting
of a whale and a dolphin getting it on.
532
00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:41,800
That's good. That's good fun.
That's good fun, Ricky...
533
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,900
...but that doesn't bother me anymore
because Jean is the future...
534
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,400
...Ricky, the past.
535
00:29:46,700 --> 00:29:48,900
So, Jean, introduce me
to your new teammates.
536
00:29:49,500 --> 00:29:53,500
Everybody,
this is my husband, Gregory.
537
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,500
What?
538
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,200
See you at the track.
539
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:00,300
Did he just say "husband"?
540
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:04,900
Sweet Lord. Dennit hired a gay
Frenchman as your teammate.
541
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,500
The room's starting to spin real fast.
542
00:30:08,300 --> 00:30:11,000
Because of gayness.
543
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:16,000
- Cal, I love you.
- Ricky? Ricky! Oh, God!
544
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:30,000
Fans and NASCAR, everyone is talking
about this new driver, Jean Girard.
545
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,600
Let's find out a little bit more about him
from our reporter, Davey Wesling.
546
00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:37,500
Talented. Eccentric. Dominating.
547
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:41,200
These are the words
that define Jean Girard.
548
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:46,300
Before each race, Jean Girard spends
time with his world-class horses...
549
00:30:46,500 --> 00:30:48,600
...who are also gay.
550
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,200
Jean's days are filled
with sun-drenched walks...
551
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,400
...with his beloved husband, Gregory.
552
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,300
Though Gregory is
no stay-at-home spouse.
553
00:30:57,500 --> 00:31:00,400
He's a world-class trainer
of German shepherds.
554
00:31:00,500 --> 00:31:02,800
Rolfe, the Nazi boyfriend.
Up on top!
555
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:07,400
Very nice. Very nice.
556
00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:11,600
Only time will tell if Jean's foray
into NAS CAR...
557
00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,900
...will end up in Victory Lane.
558
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,800
Well, kiss my ass on Sunday.
559
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,000
- Lucius, what the hell is going on?
- The man can drive.
560
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,000
And check out his crew chief
over there.
561
00:31:42,300 --> 00:31:44,500
Won the Nobel Prize
for physics back in '93.
562
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:47,600
Ladies and gentlemen,
that is a new track record.
563
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:51,500
As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting
on the pole, which is, of course...
564
00:31:51,500 --> 00:31:53,800
...a statement of fact
and in no way a comment...
565
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:55,800
...on the driver's sexual orientation.
566
00:31:56,100 --> 00:31:58,800
Put a smile on your face?
That's the future of Dennit Racing.
567
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,500
- That make you happy?
- I'm just thrilled, Mr. Dennit.
568
00:32:01,500 --> 00:32:03,600
I love seeing some French guy
break my record...
569
00:32:03,900 --> 00:32:06,700
...while I got my arm wrapped up
like a fricking gordita.
570
00:32:06,900 --> 00:32:08,400
Hello, Ricky Bobby.
571
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:13,900
What happened last week was
very regrettable and unfortunate...
572
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,700
...and, as a gesture, I would like to...
573
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,500
...sign your cast, please.
574
00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:22,300
Hell, you know what,
get my car off the trailer, guys.
575
00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:24,100
Baby! That's my baby!
576
00:32:24,300 --> 00:32:27,500
Hold on, Ricky. Ricky, Ricky, Rick.
What are you talking about?
577
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:31,300
Look. I wanna drive. My arm's fine.
So let's get the car off the trailer.
578
00:32:31,500 --> 00:32:33,400
Don't look at me.
Get it off the trailer!
579
00:32:33,700 --> 00:32:37,700
Even with a healthy arm, you don't
have a chance against Jean Girard.
580
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,900
All right, fellas. You heard the man.
Get the car off. Let's go.
581
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,600
You guys heard it.
582
00:32:43,300 --> 00:32:46,400
- What's going on?
- Soon you will know what it is like...
583
00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:51,100
...to be defeated by the hands of
somebody who is truly better than you.
584
00:32:52,900 --> 00:32:56,700
As William Blake wrote,
"The cut worm forgives the plow."
585
00:32:56,900 --> 00:32:59,800
Well, let me just quote the late,
great Colonel Sanders...
586
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,500
...who said,
"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken."
587
00:33:03,700 --> 00:33:05,600
What's that got to do with this?
588
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:09,400
I got a message for all of them.
Ready? Shake and Bake!
589
00:33:09,700 --> 00:33:13,200
What does that do? Does that
blow your mind? That just happened!
590
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:16,600
What is that, a catch phrase
or is that epilepsy?
591
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,400
- Shake and Bake. Shake and Bake.
- What?
592
00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:24,300
Listen, you better be careful because
tomorrow you're going to get beaten.
593
00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,500
Beaten real bad, cowboy.
594
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:28,200
- Really?
- Yes!
595
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,400
- I don't want to know.
- That's news to me.
596
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:34,000
- Tomorrow you'll be in trouble.
- I'll rip you a new one.
597
00:33:34,500 --> 00:33:37,500
There's going to be a croissant
I'm going to take away.
598
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:38,800
I play for keeps!
599
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,200
I give you one option,
Monsieur Bobby.
600
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,400
As a sign of humility,
if you kiss me on the lips now...
601
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:49,400
...I will return to Paris and you will
never see me again in NASCAR.
602
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:50,900
The answer is never!
603
00:33:51,100 --> 00:33:53,700
- I close my...
- Do you hear me? Never ever!
604
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,600
- Well, yes or no?
- That's sick.
605
00:33:59,500 --> 00:34:02,600
Let me tell you, hold on.
Shake and Bake.
606
00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:03,900
Yeah!
607
00:34:04,100 --> 00:34:05,900
What does that mean?
It makes no sense!
608
00:34:06,100 --> 00:34:07,800
This "Shake and Bake,"
it's nonsense.
609
00:34:08,100 --> 00:34:11,400
- Hey, baby. You guys are so smooth.
- Thanks, darling.
610
00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:14,500
Cal, you could say that 10,000 times
and it still wouldn't be enough.
611
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,000
- It fires me up.
- I love it. Say it one more time.
612
00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,200
- Shake and Bake!
- Doesn't that feel good?
613
00:34:19,400 --> 00:34:23,400
Yeah! It rhymes,
they're both verbs. It's awesome.
614
00:34:46,300 --> 00:34:49,000
NAS CAR on Fox welcomes you
to Lowe's Motor Speedway...
615
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,600
...where tonight we'll go 500 miles.
616
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:56,200
The big stories tonight
are at both ends of the grid.
617
00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:00,400
Up front, Larry, the surprising French
Formula One driver, Jean Girard.
618
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:05,100
And at the opposite end of the grid,
Darrell, Ricky Bobby.
619
00:35:05,300 --> 00:35:08,400
I saw Ricky Bobby last night walking
around with a cast on his arm.
620
00:35:08,500 --> 00:35:11,600
Now, I don't know who he conned
into letting him start this race.
621
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,400
Just keep a camera on him
all night long.
622
00:35:15,100 --> 00:35:16,600
I am so excited.
623
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:19,400
This is a new era
for Dennit Racing, huh?
624
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:24,400
So serious all the time
about your big race team.
625
00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:28,100
- Who cares?
- But this is my life. This is my life.
626
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,800
You know what? There's only one
good thing about coming to the races...
627
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:35,800
...and that is
the vibrations from the cars.
628
00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:39,900
Oh, I love when them cars whiz by.
629
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,600
Can feel the motor...
630
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,100
...running up my legs.
631
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:51,200
Ricky Bobby, who never met
a sponsor he wouldn't push...
632
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,400
...has a Fig Newton sticker
on his windshield.
633
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,400
Think NAS CAR will
black-flag him for that.
634
00:35:55,500 --> 00:35:56,900
He sold the windshield!
635
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,800
This sticker is dangerous and
inconvenient, but I love Fig Newtons.
636
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:04,500
Ricky Bobby started this race
in the back...
637
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,000
...but he's making no friends
on the way to the front.
638
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,800
I'm all about getting to the front tonight,
Lucius. Let's go! Let's move it!
639
00:36:11,100 --> 00:36:13,000
Well, he's driving
like a man possessed.
640
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:17,000
I'm not even sure he realizes how
much damage he's doing to his car.
641
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:24,200
Hey, Ricky. You know you're driving
like a pissed-off teenager, okay?
642
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:26,100
Where is that Frenchy?
643
00:36:30,500 --> 00:36:32,300
I got you, Pepe Le Bitch.
644
00:36:33,900 --> 00:36:35,600
Oh, Ricky Bobby.
645
00:36:37,500 --> 00:36:39,500
Hey, it's me, America.
646
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,100
Yeah, I'm here.
647
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,700
You have spilled my macchiato.
648
00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:50,700
Look at Girard in the 55.
649
00:36:50,900 --> 00:36:54,800
He's made that car three lanes wide,
but he's still fast.
650
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:58,700
No, no, no, my friend.
This way also closed. Not this way.
651
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:02,600
Lucius, what's he doing?
He's everywhere at once.
652
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,100
Guy's dangerous, Ricky.
He's like a cobra. Back off!
653
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:07,400
Where's Cal?
I need a little support here!
654
00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:11,000
Tell Ricky I'm on my way.
655
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:18,200
Damn it!
656
00:37:18,500 --> 00:37:20,100
Hey, Ricky, listen.
657
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:26,200
Cal blew out his engine.
You have no backup. Back off!
658
00:37:26,500 --> 00:37:29,500
I ain't backing off.
I'm Ricky Bobby, I'm the best there is.
659
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,400
He's too good, Ricky. Lay off!
660
00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:35,500
Bobby's boxed in.
There's nowhere to go there.
661
00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:41,400
He's gonna try the outside move again.
I don't know if it's gonna work.
662
00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:43,200
Come on, Daddy!
663
00:37:43,500 --> 00:37:45,100
Come on, Daddy! Whoop his butt!
664
00:37:45,300 --> 00:37:47,800
Send that weird man
back to Indonesia.
665
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,500
- Come on!
- Bobby moves to the outside.
666
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,500
Not a lot of room. He's in the wall!
667
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,800
Bobby is sliding,
slamming into the wall.
668
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,800
He's airborne!
669
00:38:07,700 --> 00:38:10,400
Yep. I'm flying through the air.
This is not good.
670
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,200
- Ricky!
- Cool!
671
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:24,100
Ricky!
672
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:32,500
Peaches and cream!
673
00:38:36,100 --> 00:38:38,600
The car comes to rest
in a big cloud of smoke.
674
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,700
Ricky Bobby appears to be okay...
675
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,400
...but that Wonder Bread car is toast.
676
00:38:43,500 --> 00:38:45,300
Fantastic.
677
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,100
Oh, my God! Ricky!
678
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,400
Hakuna matata, bitches.
679
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,900
It's okay, guys, it's just a wreck.
Ricky can handle it.
680
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,500
Now, that's one of the nastiest wrecks
you'll ever see.
681
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,800
Oh, no, no, no.
682
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,000
It's all right. You're safe.
683
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,100
- You're safe.
- We got you. We're here.
684
00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:12,600
I'm on fire.
685
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,100
It's all right.
It's all right, you're not on fire!
686
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:19,100
- You're lying! I'm on fire!
- There is no fire.
687
00:39:19,300 --> 00:39:21,800
- I'm on fire. I don't wanna die.
- Come back here.
688
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:25,600
But something looks wrong. I mean,
he's running around like he's on fire.
689
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:29,500
Oh, my God! Help me!
I don't wanna die! Stop, drop, and roll!
690
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:33,200
- You're not on fire, Ricky Bobby!
- I'm on fire!
691
00:39:33,500 --> 00:39:34,800
You're not on fire.
692
00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:38,300
But I'm not even sure he even knows
where he's at right now.
693
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:43,400
This makes us all realize the kind
of pressure these drivers are under.
694
00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:45,000
Mr. Bobby, come on down here.
695
00:39:45,300 --> 00:39:48,800
Help me, Jesus!
Help me, Jewish God!
696
00:39:49,100 --> 00:39:50,600
Help me, Allah!
697
00:39:52,100 --> 00:39:53,400
Help me, Tom Cruise!
698
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,100
But how did he get down
to his underwear that fast?
699
00:39:56,400 --> 00:39:59,600
Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me
to get the fire off me!
700
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:01,000
Look. Here, help's coming.
701
00:40:01,300 --> 00:40:03,000
- Wait a minute!
- It's Cal Naughton.
702
00:40:04,100 --> 00:40:07,400
Oh, God! Please don't let
the invisible fire burn my friend!
703
00:40:08,500 --> 00:40:12,000
I got you!
I got you, man! I'll help you!
704
00:40:12,300 --> 00:40:16,000
He's jumping on Ricky, trying
to put the nonexistent fire out.
705
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:17,700
Now, that's a teammate right there.
706
00:40:17,900 --> 00:40:19,500
This is going downhill fast.
707
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,500
It would be a great time
to go to commercial break.
708
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:24,800
Help me, Oprah Winfrey!
709
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:30,600
You know, Larry, there's good days
in racing, and there's bad days.
710
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:34,100
Ricky Bobby just had himself
a bad day.
711
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:44,100
He's suffering from catatonic shock.
712
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:47,800
His injuries are minor, but right now he
can't deal with the trauma of the wreck.
713
00:40:48,100 --> 00:40:51,200
Golly, this is a hard decision.
714
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:56,300
But I have thought about it,
and I want the plug pulled.
715
00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:57,800
Yeah.
716
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,300
Ma'am, your husband's not dying.
717
00:41:00,600 --> 00:41:02,700
He's just taking a nap.
718
00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,200
- Just look at him.
- No, I'm not lying.
719
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,600
I've never seen him
make that noise. Ever.
720
00:41:09,100 --> 00:41:11,300
Got more plugs in him
than a Circuit City.
721
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:16,200
Oh, baby.
Mama loves you so much.
722
00:41:16,900 --> 00:41:20,400
Hey, Ricky. It's me, Cal.
723
00:41:20,700 --> 00:41:25,000
Just want you to know,
I got your back, bro. No matter what.
724
00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:28,400
There's something
I want to get off my chest...
725
00:41:28,500 --> 00:41:32,500
...and it's about that summer when
you went away to community college.
726
00:41:32,500 --> 00:41:36,200
I got a offer to do Playgirl magazine...
727
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,800
...and I did it.
728
00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:42,200
I did a full spread
for Playgirl magazine.
729
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:46,600
I mean spread, man.
I pulled my butt apart and stuff...
730
00:41:47,300 --> 00:41:51,200
...and I was totally nude,
and it was weird.
731
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,100
You probably didn't hear about it...
732
00:41:53,300 --> 00:41:55,500
...because I went under the name
of Mike Honcho.
733
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:57,400
But I just wanted you to know that.
734
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:01,400
If you could hear me,
if it got into your brain somehow...
735
00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:03,800
...that I spread my butt cheeks
as Mike Honcho.
736
00:42:04,100 --> 00:42:06,900
"Are you there, God?
It's me, Margaret.
737
00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:11,000
Gretchen, my friend, got her period.
I'm so jealous, God.
738
00:42:11,300 --> 00:42:14,200
I hate myself for being so jealous,
but I am.
739
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:16,500
I wish you'd help me just a little.
740
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:21,300
Nancy's sure she's going to
get it soon too. And if I'm last..."
741
00:42:21,700 --> 00:42:24,500
Hey, Ricky. Ricky!
742
00:42:24,900 --> 00:42:26,700
Come on, man, wake up.
743
00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:28,600
Are you faking it?
744
00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:35,400
Are you faking it? Fake it!
745
00:42:39,900 --> 00:42:43,400
I don't know how much longer
I can take seeing you like this.
746
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:48,000
I am not gonna let you die here...
747
00:42:48,300 --> 00:42:50,200
...like some kind of vegetable.
748
00:42:50,500 --> 00:42:52,600
I'm gonna put an end to this
right now.
749
00:42:52,900 --> 00:42:54,500
Get all this crap off you.
750
00:42:54,800 --> 00:42:56,800
You don't need any of this crap.
751
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:02,200
This is it. This is how it ends.
752
00:43:02,500 --> 00:43:03,900
This is how Shake and Bake ends.
753
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,800
It's shadow time, buddy.
754
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:11,800
It's time to go home to Jesus.
755
00:43:12,700 --> 00:43:14,600
Goodbye, buddy.
756
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,500
Oh, wow, you definitely...
757
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:23,100
You definitely
still got some fight in you.
758
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:27,600
Okay, maybe we give this
another day.
759
00:43:28,500 --> 00:43:31,400
Middle. I'll go up to the middle.
Let's play some defense!
760
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,400
I just wanna say thanks, doc,
for taking care of our boy here.
761
00:43:36,700 --> 00:43:39,800
- Oh, shit.
- That's a foul! That's a foul!
762
00:43:40,100 --> 00:43:41,500
Doc, give it to me straight.
763
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:43,900
Is he ever gonna be able
to walk again?
764
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:47,000
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought someone
had told you. He's fine.
765
00:43:47,200 --> 00:43:48,900
He found that wheelchair
in the hallway.
766
00:43:49,100 --> 00:43:52,000
His paralysis is
entirely psychosomatic.
767
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:55,800
But we all need to go along with this,
because he's in a delicate state.
768
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:59,400
So when you say psychosomatic,
you mean, like...
769
00:43:59,700 --> 00:44:02,200
...he could start a fire
with his thoughts?
770
00:44:02,400 --> 00:44:04,400
No, not at all.
It means it's all in his mind.
771
00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:08,300
I'm saying, sometimes you get a knock
on the head, you get special powers.
772
00:44:08,500 --> 00:44:10,800
It happens all the time.
Read a comic book, okay?
773
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:12,600
Everyone's real friendly.
774
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,600
It doesn't hurt being Ricky Bobby.
I'm not gonna lie to you.
775
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:17,400
So how's the physical therapy going?
776
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:20,500
Oh, I gave that up.
Yeah, I gave that up...
777
00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:23,800
...after maybe the first day.
Within the first hour, I gave that up.
778
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,100
I'm through lying to myself,
you know?
779
00:44:26,300 --> 00:44:29,700
It's time to be mature about this
and just face facts.
780
00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:32,400
I bought myself
a hundred-thousand-dollar...
781
00:44:32,500 --> 00:44:33,900
...handicap-accessible van...
782
00:44:34,100 --> 00:44:37,800
...with the captain's chairs and the DVD
plasma screens in the back for the kids.
783
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,400
- You all paid up on that?
- Yeah. That's all paid in full.
784
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,600
It's parked out there.
And then the next thing I gotta do...
785
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,800
...is I just gotta have a sit-down
with Carley and just let her know...
786
00:44:49,300 --> 00:44:54,000
...that it's okay for her to seek
the comfort of other men.
787
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:58,300
Because she's gotta run wild. You
can't keep something like that back.
788
00:44:58,400 --> 00:44:59,800
Hold on, man. Hold...
789
00:45:00,500 --> 00:45:02,300
- We gotta tell him.
- Now?
790
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:05,300
No, I don't care what the doctor said,
we gotta tell him now.
791
00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,000
Ricky, the doctor told us...
792
00:45:07,300 --> 00:45:10,000
...that we should let you work it out
in your own sweet time...
793
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:11,400
...but, Ricky, you can walk.
794
00:45:11,700 --> 00:45:13,500
What did you just say?
795
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:16,700
He's telling you the truth, man.
It's all in your head.
796
00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:22,400
You sick sons of bitches!
797
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:24,400
I mean, you walk in that door...
798
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:28,100
...on your two legs,
all fat and cocky...
799
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:32,800
...and looking at me in my chair,
and you tell me it's all in my head?
800
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,000
I hope that both of you have sons.
801
00:45:35,300 --> 00:45:40,200
Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons
who are talented and star athletes...
802
00:45:40,500 --> 00:45:42,300
...and they have their legs
taken away!
803
00:45:42,500 --> 00:45:44,400
I pray you know
that pain and that hurt.
804
00:45:44,500 --> 00:45:46,800
Don't you put that evil on me,
Ricky Bobby!
805
00:45:47,100 --> 00:45:51,500
Don't you put that on us!
You are not paralyzed!
806
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:53,400
I am so paralyzed!
807
00:45:53,500 --> 00:45:57,000
- No, no, no! No, he needs to know!
- Getting a little rough on him.
808
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,500
- He's always crying!
- Tough love, it is. Tough love.
809
00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:02,600
- Wake up, idiot!
- You wanna know what I am?!
810
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:05,100
You wanna see what my life is?!
811
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:06,400
Don't do it.
812
00:46:06,700 --> 00:46:10,700
- You wanna see what's going on here?
- Don't you stick that knife in your leg.
813
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:22,000
- Man!
- Hold on, hold on.
814
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,600
- Hold on, now. Walk it off.
- Oh, that hurts.
815
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:27,000
- Oh, my...!
- Walk it off.
816
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,000
Stretch, stretch. Stretch it out.
817
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,600
Hey, man.
You can walk! You can walk!
818
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:33,500
I can walk!
819
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,600
- I think I touched a nerve.
- Right there.
820
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:39,500
All right, we got it, we got it.
Hold it right there.
821
00:46:39,500 --> 00:46:40,900
Maybe don't touch it.
822
00:46:41,100 --> 00:46:43,000
- Can you feel it?
- I can!
823
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:45,500
We'll use this knife to pry it out.
We'll pull it out.
824
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:48,400
- Now we got two in there.
- Just don't think about it.
825
00:46:48,500 --> 00:46:50,800
- We're going down a bad path.
- Cut around the meat.
826
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:52,700
I'll cut right here.
Stretch it out.
827
00:46:52,900 --> 00:46:55,200
Just take out a plug of meat.
Just like a deer.
828
00:46:55,500 --> 00:46:58,200
We gotta wiggle it a little bit. That's it.
Can you feel that?
829
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,200
- Yeah, I feel that.
- You are back!
830
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:01,900
I love you guys!
831
00:47:02,500 --> 00:47:06,300
Hey, I'm sorry, guys. I mean,
I hope your boys don't lose their legs.
832
00:47:06,500 --> 00:47:09,600
- Thanks, buddy.
- So when do I get to drive again?
833
00:47:09,900 --> 00:47:12,900
Well, that's the thing. The doctor
said you suffered major trauma...
834
00:47:13,100 --> 00:47:15,500
...and he thinks you should
take it slow for a while.
835
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:19,400
Yeah, so, I was thinking, like,
while you're resting up and stuff...
836
00:47:19,500 --> 00:47:22,400
...maybe you could let me win a few.
- Well, there you go.
837
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:24,400
Yeah, that ain't gonna happen.
838
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:28,000
Yeah. I'm Ricky Bobby.
I mean, you know how I play it.
839
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,400
- Yeah.
- First or last, right, baby?
840
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:32,900
- Don't know what I was thinking.
- Besides...
841
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:36,000
...Dennit Jr. Must be freaking out.
All the money he's losing?
842
00:47:36,200 --> 00:47:37,700
Without me on the track?
843
00:47:37,900 --> 00:47:39,200
I mean, I just laugh...
844
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:42,300
...thinking about him whining
all the time, bitching and moaning:
845
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:44,400
"Damn, I wish Ricky was here."
846
00:47:44,600 --> 00:47:46,200
You know what I mean?
847
00:47:50,100 --> 00:47:52,100
What?
848
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:54,700
Frenchy can drive.
849
00:47:58,400 --> 00:47:59,800
Oh, no.
850
00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:29,400
Very good.
851
00:48:29,700 --> 00:48:31,800
C'est la vie and que sera, sera.
852
00:48:32,100 --> 00:48:35,100
It looks like the NASCAR
has gone French.
853
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:37,000
Well, in other news, Ricky Bobby...
854
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:40,300
...is going to be running some test laps
this weekend at Rockingham...
855
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,700
...in an attempt to come back
from his grisly crash.
856
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:46,400
It's one of the hardest things
to do in racing.
857
00:48:46,500 --> 00:48:49,300
To try to bounce back after
a devastating, violent wreck.
858
00:48:49,500 --> 00:48:51,800
Ricky Bobby was traumatized
during the incident.
859
00:48:52,100 --> 00:48:53,400
All right, baby.
Come on, now.
860
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:56,800
But today he gets to strap back into
a racecar for the first time since...
861
00:48:57,100 --> 00:48:59,200
...to try to show he can still
get the job done.
862
00:48:59,500 --> 00:49:02,600
- He's gonna be great. Yep.
- He's gonna be great, sure.
863
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:05,500
Would you stop staring at me like that,
Susan? I swear...
864
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:08,300
...you are the weirdest little girl
I've ever seen.
865
00:49:08,600 --> 00:49:11,200
Okay, I'm really gonna open it up!
866
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:17,500
I missed you, Mama Speed.
Ricky Bobby's back.
867
00:49:17,500 --> 00:49:19,400
Wait, how fast is he going?
868
00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,100
Twenty-six miles an hour.
869
00:49:23,500 --> 00:49:26,900
What were those things?
Were those the other cars?
870
00:49:32,500 --> 00:49:34,900
Oh, God. So fast.
871
00:49:35,100 --> 00:49:36,800
Go, baby! There you are.
872
00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:38,800
Am I on fire? I'm on fire.
873
00:49:39,000 --> 00:49:41,000
- No, no, you're not on fire.
- Stretch it out.
874
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:42,700
- It's okay, baby.
- Take it easy.
875
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:47,000
- Oh, God, I'm gonna get sick.
- Oh, God.
876
00:49:47,300 --> 00:49:51,000
- Oh, he's in his underwear again.
- Ricky! Please put your clothes on.
877
00:49:51,300 --> 00:49:53,400
He's in his underwear again.
Go get him, fellas.
878
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:54,900
Oh, Lord.
879
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:58,000
You know who's gonna be
number one at Dennit Racing?
880
00:49:58,700 --> 00:50:01,600
- Not Ricky?
- I'm gonna windmill you.
881
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:04,500
Mr. Cal Naughton Jr.
882
00:50:04,700 --> 00:50:07,400
- Come back at him. It's the only way.
- Who are you?
883
00:50:07,500 --> 00:50:09,200
- Number one.
- No.
884
00:50:09,500 --> 00:50:12,800
- Oh, yes, ma'am.
- Ricky! Come on, man!
885
00:50:13,100 --> 00:50:14,600
It's embarrassing.
886
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:18,400
The ninjas are trying to get me.
The ninjas are trying to get me.
887
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:20,500
- Oh, my God.
- What happened?
888
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:23,000
What happened? He's done.
He's done.
889
00:50:23,300 --> 00:50:25,700
That's what's happened.
It's over. He's finished.
890
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:27,500
What's gonna happen to me?
891
00:50:27,700 --> 00:50:30,700
I feel like I was riding inside
an asteroid or a comet or something.
892
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,000
Yeah, you were going fast.
893
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:35,300
- Look at that.
- What are we gonna do?
894
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:38,000
This is ugly.
This is bad for all of us. Look at that.
895
00:50:38,300 --> 00:50:41,200
- I gotta go check on cuckoo bird.
- No, cuckoo's okay.
896
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:44,100
Why don't you get over there
and settle down Carley for me?
897
00:50:44,300 --> 00:50:46,400
- Could you do that for me?
- Yes, sir.
898
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:48,000
There you go.
899
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:51,400
What began as a day
of hope and optimism...
900
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:54,800
...for Ricky Bobby and his race team
has ended here in sad disappointment.
901
00:50:55,000 --> 00:50:56,300
There we go, boy.
902
00:50:56,500 --> 00:50:58,400
- I lost all muscle control.
- Yeah, you did.
903
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:01,900
- He just lost his muscle control is all.
- I lost my muscle control.
904
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:05,600
He's fine.
He just can't control the muscles.
905
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,500
- Thanks for the lift, Hershell.
- Yeah, no problem.
906
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:24,600
Jenga!
907
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:27,900
I love you, Cal.
908
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:31,700
- Good one, kiddo.
- What the hell's going on?
909
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,100
Hey, Ricky, nice of you
to stop by for a visit.
910
00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:37,100
What do you mean, a visit?
This is my house.
911
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:38,800
Baby...
912
00:51:39,000 --> 00:51:41,200
...shoot. I'm so sorry.
913
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,500
I really...
I didn't want it to be this way.
914
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:46,200
Hey, what happened
to the family portrait?
915
00:51:46,900 --> 00:51:49,100
You just crudely pasted
your face over mine.
916
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:51,200
We're getting married, Ricky.
917
00:51:51,400 --> 00:51:53,800
And we're getting matching
leprechaun tattoos.
918
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:55,900
Isn't that cute?
With a little pot of gold.
919
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,400
Is this some kind of joke?
You guys putting me on?
920
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:02,400
I was gone three hours.
Dennit just fired me from the team.
921
00:52:03,300 --> 00:52:04,600
Ricky, you and I...
922
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:08,500
...we both know that this marriage
has been over for a long, long time.
923
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:11,400
No! I honestly did not know that!
924
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:16,300
Ricky, you can't race no more.
925
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:21,400
I'm not going back to being poor
and dancing at the Wizard's Den.
926
00:52:21,500 --> 00:52:23,400
You know, my old boyfriend Greg?
927
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,600
He still works there
and he was crazy.
928
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:27,800
Baby, stop.
929
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:32,400
Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Just a second.
Let me make sure I got this straight.
930
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:35,100
Are you asking me for a divorce?
931
00:52:35,300 --> 00:52:37,800
- Yay! Two Christmases!
- Yay! Two Christmases!
932
00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:39,800
Cal?
933
00:52:40,100 --> 00:52:41,900
How could you do this to me, man?
934
00:52:42,100 --> 00:52:45,600
Ricky, your marriage was
a hollow shell.
935
00:52:45,900 --> 00:52:47,500
It was a cruel charade.
936
00:52:47,700 --> 00:52:49,800
She just gave me the 411
on the whole deal.
937
00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:53,500
And you know what else?
You never let me win one time.
938
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:56,000
I thought we had a good thing going.
Shake and Bake.
939
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,900
You're doing great.
You just keep it up. Keep it up.
940
00:52:59,100 --> 00:53:02,100
And Mr. Dennit told me
that it's my time now.
941
00:53:02,300 --> 00:53:04,400
- Oh, really?
- That Shake and Bake is dead.
942
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:07,000
And we just came up
with a new nickname.
943
00:53:07,300 --> 00:53:09,600
- It's so good. It's so good.
- I got a new nickname.
944
00:53:09,900 --> 00:53:12,700
The Magic Man.
Now you see me...
945
00:53:13,600 --> 00:53:15,100
...now you don't.
946
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:17,600
That is the stupidest nickname
I've ever heard.
947
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:19,400
Is it, Ricky?
948
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:21,800
Because I think
you wish you thought of it.
949
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,500
All right. You got me.
That's an awesome nickname.
950
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:28,700
I've always had a lot of great ideas.
951
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:32,900
I also think I might design a car
that's in the shape of a rabbit.
952
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:36,700
It might poop out little real rabbits out
the back that'll run around the track.
953
00:53:37,000 --> 00:53:39,300
You have live rabbits
being pooped out onto a track?
954
00:53:39,500 --> 00:53:42,200
If I win, I might do a special thing
with David Copperfield...
955
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:44,600
...where he hides in my car
in the passenger seat...
956
00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:47,100
...and he just flings magic stuff
out the window.
957
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,200
Did you run any of this
by NASCAR?
958
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:53,000
Watch the mail for that invitation to
the wedding, because I want you there.
959
00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:54,500
- What?!
- I know it...
960
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:57,500
...that some bad stuff happened
just now, but in time...
961
00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:59,500
The wedding's not for
a couple of weeks.
962
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:01,400
Why would I come
to your guys' wedding?
963
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:03,600
- You're gonna get over it
and be my best man.
964
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:05,300
I'm not gonna be your best man!
965
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:07,500
Baby, he's not gonna come
to the wedding.
966
00:54:07,500 --> 00:54:11,500
Cal, do you realize the implications
of your actions right now?
967
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:13,200
What's "implication" mean?
968
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:14,700
We are no longer friends.
969
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:17,600
- Why?
- What do you mean, "Why?"
970
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:19,900
You're wrecking my life!
971
00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:22,800
You just lost your wife.
You just lost your job.
972
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:25,600
Don't throw out your best friend
because of your anger.
973
00:54:26,300 --> 00:54:29,400
- That's absolutely ridiculous, man.
- Ricky...
974
00:54:29,500 --> 00:54:34,400
...remember, the field mouse is fast,
but the owl sees at night.
975
00:54:38,300 --> 00:54:40,000
That's kind of creepy, ain't it?
976
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:46,600
- Hey, Ricky, I'll call you tomorrow.
- Shut up.
977
00:54:46,600 --> 00:54:49,400
- Bye, kids. I'll see you next weekend.
- Bye.
978
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:57,700
Ricky! Boys! Is everything all right?
979
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:01,600
Mama, we got nowhere to go.
Carley and Cal took everything.
980
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:03,800
Well, you're home now,
and you got your mama.
981
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,200
Get in here, boys. Come on.
982
00:55:05,500 --> 00:55:08,100
Come on. Get in this house.
983
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:17,200
Hey, Ricky. Are you on fire?
984
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:21,300
- Nice denim shorts, dude.
- Hey, shut up, man.
985
00:55:33,800 --> 00:55:35,300
Hump me!
986
00:55:39,300 --> 00:55:41,200
Now, you watch yourself.
987
00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:44,600
Yes, sir. I'm sorry.
I promise it won't happen again.
988
00:55:51,500 --> 00:55:53,000
Hey, sorry, man.
989
00:56:02,000 --> 00:56:03,400
Hey.
990
00:56:03,700 --> 00:56:05,600
I lost my license.
991
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:07,900
That's why I'm on the bus.
I'm delivering pizzas.
992
00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,400
Motherfucker,
what makes you think I care?
993
00:56:10,700 --> 00:56:13,500
Shut the fuck up!
994
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:16,200
I was just telling you that because...
995
00:56:16,500 --> 00:56:19,600
Like I said, I lost my license. I've
been having a lot of problems lately.
996
00:56:19,900 --> 00:56:22,400
Problems? I don't wanna hear about
your damn problems.
997
00:56:22,600 --> 00:56:24,200
Everybody got problems.
998
00:56:24,500 --> 00:56:26,600
My mama got problems.
She just lost her leg.
999
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:30,400
My cousin Pookie just lost a testicle.
My dog threw up somebody's finger.
1000
00:56:30,700 --> 00:56:32,200
That's a problem.
1001
00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:35,300
I really regret opening my mouth
and talking to you.
1002
00:56:37,500 --> 00:56:40,200
- Sorry. Sorry.
- Get out of the road!
1003
00:56:40,500 --> 00:56:43,400
Hey, come on, man.
I'm on a bike. Relax.
1004
00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:45,800
- Hey, shut up!
- Idiot!
1005
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:51,400
It's open.
1006
00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:55,400
Hugalo's Pizza. We are pizza.
1007
00:56:57,500 --> 00:57:00,500
- You are pizza?
- Yeah, we are pizza. I gotta say it.
1008
00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:06,100
Either close the door or come in.
I got weed in here, cowboy.
1009
00:57:12,100 --> 00:57:15,200
You got three pizzas that haven't
been eaten just sitting over there.
1010
00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:18,100
I know. I've been calling them
all day trying to get you...
1011
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,600
...but they keep sending me
different delivery people.
1012
00:57:20,900 --> 00:57:22,600
Trying to get me? Why?
1013
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:24,400
Because I'm your daddy, that's why.
1014
00:57:26,200 --> 00:57:29,300
- What did you just say?
- I said, I'm your daddy.
1015
00:57:29,500 --> 00:57:31,000
I'm Reese Bobby.
1016
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:36,000
Me and your mama did it in a Rustler
Steak House bathroom when I was 17.
1017
00:57:36,200 --> 00:57:38,000
And then you showed up.
1018
00:57:44,700 --> 00:57:46,600
Hey, son.
1019
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:50,200
- Son! Son, did this go good?
- No!
1020
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:53,400
- Seems to me like it went pretty good.
- You're not my dad.
1021
00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:55,800
- It got a little heated, but...
- Stop talking to me!
1022
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:59,100
Hey, is that a Huffy?
That's a nice-looking bike, boy.
1023
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,100
I can't believe it!
1024
00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:04,500
I mean, he's been
blowing me off for 25 years...
1025
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:07,200
...and now he wants
to get to know me?
1026
00:58:07,500 --> 00:58:09,300
How the hell did he even find me?
1027
00:58:09,500 --> 00:58:10,700
I called him.
1028
00:58:10,900 --> 00:58:13,800
Are you kidding me?
Mama, why did you go do that?
1029
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,700
Son, you need help.
1030
00:58:15,900 --> 00:58:18,500
- I know he's a son of a bitch.
- He's scary.
1031
00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:22,500
But you're a grown man.
You're delivering pizzas on a bike.
1032
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:25,400
How'd you even get hooked up
with him in the first place?
1033
00:58:25,700 --> 00:58:28,400
You probably couldn't tell
by looking at him now...
1034
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:31,200
...but your daddy used to be
a real charmer.
1035
00:58:31,500 --> 00:58:36,300
And that night in the ladies' room of
the Rustler Steak House, he chose me.
1036
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:41,100
- In a ladies' room?
- Shut up in here! I'm trying to sleep!
1037
00:58:41,300 --> 00:58:44,200
One of you turds is about
to get smacked in the mouth!
1038
00:58:44,400 --> 00:58:47,700
Hey, stop yelling at me, okay?
I'm your dad. You're 7 years old.
1039
00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:49,600
Don't talk like that.
1040
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:53,400
Hey. Hey there, Lucy.
1041
00:58:53,700 --> 00:58:55,500
How you doing?
1042
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:59,400
Oh, hey there, Ricky. Look, son...
1043
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:02,600
...I know you don't
want me to be here...
1044
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:06,800
...but I saw what happened to you
on the television. You saw the fear.
1045
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,000
- I can help you with that, son.
- Really?
1046
00:59:09,200 --> 00:59:12,400
What do you care about me or us?
You never even met your grandkids.
1047
00:59:12,600 --> 00:59:15,800
- What are you looking at, Popeye?
- Shut up, you little pot-licker.
1048
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:17,400
I'll put you in a microwave.
1049
00:59:17,500 --> 00:59:19,200
Now, you show me the DNA test...
1050
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:22,400
...and then maybe I'll say hello
to these swamp rats.
1051
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:27,300
You people shut the hell up! I got
a wife in an oxygen tent trying to sleep.
1052
00:59:27,500 --> 00:59:30,500
You better shut up or I'll come
over there and rip a hole in that tent.
1053
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:32,000
Yeah, shut up, Frank!
1054
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:34,600
Go shave your balls,
you dusty old fart!
1055
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:37,300
Okay, I guess they are my grandkids.
1056
00:59:39,500 --> 00:59:42,400
I know you, son. I know you well.
1057
00:59:42,700 --> 00:59:45,900
You're just like me. Talladega's
coming up in a couple of weeks...
1058
00:59:46,100 --> 00:59:48,800
...and I know you wanna win that thing.
- No, I don't.
1059
00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:51,100
Listen, Ricky.
1060
00:59:51,300 --> 00:59:55,200
I'm 55 years old
and all I got to my name is a car...
1061
00:59:55,500 --> 00:59:59,300
...and a duffle bag full of underwear,
and sweet, stinky weed.
1062
00:59:59,500 --> 01:00:01,500
How much you selling that weed for,
old man?
1063
01:00:01,700 --> 01:00:04,100
I know I screwed up
raising you as a boy...
1064
01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:06,400
...but just let me help you as a man.
1065
01:00:07,600 --> 01:00:11,100
- Do it, Dad. Get your balls back.
- Go fast again.
1066
01:00:12,500 --> 01:00:14,400
Fine. I'll do it.
1067
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:18,800
- But I ain't calling you Daddy.
- Well, what you gonna call me?
1068
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:21,700
All right, Professor Dickweed.
What's the plan?
1069
01:00:21,900 --> 01:00:25,000
Well, basically, what happened to you
is that you saw the fear.
1070
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:28,500
So before you can even think
about any real driving...
1071
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:32,500
...you gotta make friends with that fear.
So get in the car.
1072
01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:42,000
What the hell?!
There's a goddamn cougar in the car!
1073
01:00:42,300 --> 01:00:44,300
I know there's a cougar,
I put it in there.
1074
01:00:44,600 --> 01:00:47,500
You gotta learn to drive
with the fear.
1075
01:00:47,500 --> 01:00:51,400
Ain't nothing more damn frightening
than driving with a cougar in the car.
1076
01:00:51,400 --> 01:00:53,500
- God, where'd you get that thing?
- I trapped it.
1077
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:56,600
Been keeping it in my bathroom
at the motel, feeding it old pizza.
1078
01:00:56,900 --> 01:01:00,100
- Now get back in that car, you hear me?
- No, I'm not getting in that car.
1079
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:05,100
Hey, listen to me. If you're calm,
that wondrous big cat will be calm too.
1080
01:01:05,300 --> 01:01:06,700
But if you're scared...
1081
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:10,500
...that beautiful death machine
will do what God made it to do...
1082
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:13,400
...namely, eat you
with a smile on its face.
1083
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:15,600
God, he's just following me
wherever I go.
1084
01:01:15,900 --> 01:01:17,300
Well, he's just looking at you.
1085
01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:20,100
You're saying if I just calm down,
the cougar will be okay?
1086
01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:23,600
- You got it.
- Damn it. Okay.
1087
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:25,600
Come on, son.
You can do it. Come on.
1088
01:01:25,900 --> 01:01:27,400
Oh, come on.
1089
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:29,600
That's it.
1090
01:01:30,500 --> 01:01:34,400
- And no sudden moves.
- Like, is this too fast? Oh, man. See?
1091
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:36,600
- That's a little quick.
- You see what he did?
1092
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:39,100
You gotta be a little more deliberate
in your movement.
1093
01:01:39,300 --> 01:01:41,900
I'm just gonna get in there.
I'm just gonna grab the handle.
1094
01:01:42,200 --> 01:01:44,600
I'm gonna get in and drive that car.
I'm gonna do it calm.
1095
01:01:44,900 --> 01:01:48,400
- Calm. Piece of cake.
- I was just trying to stay calm.
1096
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:53,000
- Oh, man!
- Sometime today, son.
1097
01:01:53,200 --> 01:01:55,600
Okay, here we go. I'm getting in.
1098
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:57,400
Oh, God, help me!
1099
01:01:58,500 --> 01:02:00,900
- Ricky! Control your heart rate.
- Oh, my God!
1100
01:02:03,100 --> 01:02:04,500
Hey, Mama.
1101
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:09,000
Well, hey there, Ricky. How'd it go?
1102
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:11,600
Well, I was mauled by a cougar...
1103
01:02:11,800 --> 01:02:15,000
...learned nothing about driving,
and my Crystal Gayle shirt was ruined.
1104
01:02:15,300 --> 01:02:17,000
But other than that, it went fine.
1105
01:02:17,300 --> 01:02:18,400
Where are the boys at?
1106
01:02:18,700 --> 01:02:22,100
I dropped them off at Sunday school
at my church about 10 minutes ago.
1107
01:02:22,300 --> 01:02:23,400
Anarchy!
1108
01:02:23,700 --> 01:02:26,800
- Anarchy! Anarchy!
- Anarchy!
1109
01:02:27,100 --> 01:02:30,500
- There they are.
- What in tarnation?
1110
01:02:30,600 --> 01:02:33,800
- Anarchy!
- I don't even know what that means...
1111
01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,200
...but I love it!
1112
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:40,200
- What in the hell?
- That is it!
1113
01:02:40,400 --> 01:02:43,100
That puts the lid right on the jar!
1114
01:02:43,800 --> 01:02:45,200
- Mama! Mama!
- No, Ricky, no.
1115
01:02:45,500 --> 01:02:48,800
I will not have my grandbabies
acting like shiftless, wild hobos.
1116
01:02:49,100 --> 01:02:52,000
All right, now, you boys listen up,
and you listen good.
1117
01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:55,600
Now, I am declaring Granny Law.
1118
01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:59,600
And if you do not obey Granny Law...
1119
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:02,200
...I will paint your back porch red.
1120
01:03:02,500 --> 01:03:04,600
Sorry, Granny,
but you're shit out of luck.
1121
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:07,200
We make the rules, not you.
1122
01:03:08,500 --> 01:03:10,400
Hey!
1123
01:03:11,600 --> 01:03:14,300
You're gonna break us
like wild horses, ain't you?
1124
01:03:14,800 --> 01:03:17,600
It's the beginning of a new age.
1125
01:03:19,600 --> 01:03:21,600
Hey, Derek, it's Ricky.
1126
01:03:21,600 --> 01:03:24,100
Just wondering
if you can ditch school...
1127
01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:27,100
...and take over my shift
at the pizza place...
1128
01:03:27,400 --> 01:03:29,500
...because I got strep throat.
1129
01:03:29,600 --> 01:03:32,200
And it's bad. I don't wanna
give it to everyone else.
1130
01:03:32,500 --> 01:03:34,600
So call me back.
You know the number.
1131
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:37,000
Hello.
1132
01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:40,300
Hey, man. How's it going?
You wanna come over and party?
1133
01:03:40,600 --> 01:03:41,900
Did you just say "party"?
1134
01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:44,600
You know what? No.
Because I still hate you, okay?
1135
01:03:44,900 --> 01:03:47,900
- What are you so mad about?
- What do you think I'm mad about?
1136
01:03:48,100 --> 01:03:50,400
Come on, man, that was last week.
1137
01:03:50,700 --> 01:03:53,200
What about the time you ran over
my leg with a car?
1138
01:03:53,500 --> 01:03:57,100
- I let that go that day.
- Yeah, I remember.
1139
01:03:57,600 --> 01:03:59,100
Wind is kicking up.
1140
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:01,600
Are you in the hot tub?
1141
01:04:01,800 --> 01:04:04,800
Answer me this:
When you're in spa mode...
1142
01:04:05,500 --> 01:04:08,200
...how come the water level
drops in the spa?
1143
01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:11,900
Are you pressing the buttons
in the back panel or in the kitchen?
1144
01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:15,400
- I just started pressing stuff.
- Hey, don't press all those buttons.
1145
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:19,100
I'm getting bored. You wanna
come over and play G.I. Joes?
1146
01:04:19,300 --> 01:04:20,900
I would love to. No!
1147
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:24,100
Come on. You know what?
Screw you, man.
1148
01:04:24,300 --> 01:04:27,000
Ricky, man, you gotta
cross over the anger bridge.
1149
01:04:27,200 --> 01:04:29,100
Come back to the friendship shore.
1150
01:04:29,400 --> 01:04:32,900
- "Cross over the anger bridge"?
- Yeah, that's where you're at.
1151
01:04:33,200 --> 01:04:34,800
You're stuck on an anger bridge.
1152
01:04:35,100 --> 01:04:37,800
Can you not see why
I'm stuck on the anger bridge?
1153
01:04:38,300 --> 01:04:41,500
Look, I don't know why I'm talking
to you, okay? What is it?
1154
01:04:41,600 --> 01:04:45,100
They got bottomless nachos
at Bennigan's.
1155
01:04:45,700 --> 01:04:48,000
God, a whole mess of nachos
sounds good right now.
1156
01:04:48,300 --> 01:04:50,600
I don't have a car no more.
Can you come get me?
1157
01:04:50,800 --> 01:04:54,500
I'll get you. Which one of your cars do
you miss the most? I'll bring that one.
1158
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:56,800
- I miss the Hummer.
- I'm coming in the Hummer.
1159
01:04:57,000 --> 01:04:58,500
- Are you ready?
- Yeah. No, wait.
1160
01:04:58,800 --> 01:05:01,200
Okay. Our friendship is done.
All right?
1161
01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:03,400
- You hear?
- You wanna hang out in your house.
1162
01:05:03,500 --> 01:05:05,600
- Come on.
- Screw you, dude. I'm hanging up.
1163
01:05:05,900 --> 01:05:07,700
Okay, that's it. Bye.
1164
01:05:08,400 --> 01:05:12,200
Oh, man, this is absolutely crazy.
I mean, this is borderline reckless.
1165
01:05:12,400 --> 01:05:16,000
Don't you get it? You don't drive with
your eyes, you drive with your heart.
1166
01:05:16,300 --> 01:05:18,100
This is just dumb.
I can't see a thing.
1167
01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:22,200
You gotta feel the road.
You gotta let it live inside you.
1168
01:05:22,500 --> 01:05:25,000
- Are you feeling anything now?
- I'm feeling a little bit.
1169
01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:27,200
What do you feel?
Tell me what you're feeling.
1170
01:05:27,400 --> 01:05:30,400
I'm feeling the worn wood
of the steering wheel.
1171
01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:32,500
- Yeah. What else?
- A little bit of heat.
1172
01:05:32,600 --> 01:05:35,000
That's you and the car
melded together.
1173
01:05:35,200 --> 01:05:38,600
Yeah, now I'm really feeling it.
I feel like the car could drive itself.
1174
01:05:38,900 --> 01:05:40,700
I bet it could. Start her up.
1175
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:42,900
I'm gonna start this car up.
1176
01:05:43,200 --> 01:05:45,400
Attaboy. All right, son.
1177
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:47,400
Drive.
1178
01:06:04,900 --> 01:06:07,300
I'm embarrassed.
I really thought I could feel it.
1179
01:06:07,500 --> 01:06:10,600
You know what? We better hightail it
out of here. Frank's gonna be pissed.
1180
01:06:10,900 --> 01:06:12,500
All right.
1181
01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:15,100
No, no, Ricky. No blindfold.
1182
01:06:17,100 --> 01:06:19,500
Get this highway clean, come on.
1183
01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:22,500
I gotta tell you, Granny, this blows.
1184
01:06:22,600 --> 01:06:25,100
- How much more of this?
- I don't know.
1185
01:06:25,300 --> 01:06:29,000
How many more times are you gonna
toss me the radio in the bathtub?
1186
01:06:38,700 --> 01:06:40,800
- Hello?
- Hey, man. You up?
1187
01:06:41,100 --> 01:06:43,400
- No.
- Wake up. I need to talk to you.
1188
01:06:43,700 --> 01:06:45,300
I think your house is haunted.
1189
01:06:45,400 --> 01:06:47,600
Hey, come on.
It's 2:30 in the morning.
1190
01:06:47,600 --> 01:06:51,300
I can't sleep in here, man.
I'm scared.
1191
01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:54,100
Look, there's nothing to be scared of.
It's a new house...
1192
01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:56,600
...there's a lot of creaks and moans
and groans in it.
1193
01:06:56,800 --> 01:07:00,700
- Put on... You got your TV on?
- Well, yeah, I fell asleep with it on.
1194
01:07:01,300 --> 01:07:04,700
- Turn on channel 42.
- Forty-two?
1195
01:07:04,900 --> 01:07:08,200
- Look at them buns.
- Well, that is a set of buns.
1196
01:07:08,600 --> 01:07:10,200
And down, and down, and...
1197
01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:12,800
What's she doing exercising
at 2:30 in the morning?
1198
01:07:13,000 --> 01:07:14,900
Oh, yeah, that's a really good point.
1199
01:07:15,100 --> 01:07:18,500
I don't know why I'm talking to you.
Do you remember that I hate you?
1200
01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:21,200
Hey, man, you know what
I was thinking?
1201
01:07:21,600 --> 01:07:24,000
- You're lucky.
- I'm lucky?
1202
01:07:24,200 --> 01:07:26,100
- How so?
- Well, check it out.
1203
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:30,900
I'm sitting here in this enormous
haunted mansion, can't sleep.
1204
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:33,400
You're hanging out at your mom's.
That's awesome.
1205
01:07:33,400 --> 01:07:37,400
- That's, like, the opposite of awesome.
- Well, this is like a hotel room...
1206
01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:39,300
...with someone else's junk in it.
1207
01:07:39,500 --> 01:07:43,800
Okay, yeah, well, that someone else's
junk, that used to be my stuff.
1208
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:47,600
I'm just having a hard time, man.
I'm just calling up for some support.
1209
01:07:47,600 --> 01:07:50,700
Do you...? Do you know
how crazy that sounds?
1210
01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:52,600
- Hey, one more thing.
- Yeah?
1211
01:07:52,900 --> 01:07:57,200
When you have the stereo on
at the same time as the TV...
1212
01:07:57,500 --> 01:07:59,400
...how do you control the volume
on the TV?
1213
01:07:59,700 --> 01:08:02,300
Why do you want to listen to the TV
with the stereo on?
1214
01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:04,300
Because I like to party.
1215
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,400
Why am I still talking to you?
1216
01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:08,400
Come on.
We were doing good there, man.
1217
01:08:08,500 --> 01:08:10,700
I'm taking care of your house good.
1218
01:08:11,000 --> 01:08:14,200
I keep snapping back into it.
It's like a trick you're pulling on me.
1219
01:08:14,500 --> 01:08:18,500
- All right. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
- All right, man. Talk to you tomorrow.
1220
01:08:21,500 --> 01:08:23,500
Shit.
1221
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:26,400
Get out.
1222
01:08:33,600 --> 01:08:35,400
Where did stock-car racing
come from?
1223
01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:36,600
What?
1224
01:08:37,600 --> 01:08:40,900
- Hey, stop doing that.
- How did stock-car racing get its start?
1225
01:08:41,200 --> 01:08:44,800
Bootleggers in Prohibition had to have
cars fast enough to outrun the Feds...
1226
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,700
...then they started racing each other.
- That's right.
1227
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:51,100
If I was right, why'd you throw
another bucket on me?
1228
01:08:51,400 --> 01:08:55,100
I filled up three. Now, there's nothing
like driving to avoid jail.
1229
01:08:55,400 --> 01:08:58,900
Nothing hones your mind
and your instincts like necessity.
1230
01:08:59,200 --> 01:09:02,400
So I taped a kilo of cocaine underneath
the car and called the boys in blue.
1231
01:09:02,600 --> 01:09:05,400
Now, the way I figure it,
you got about two minutes...
1232
01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:09,100
...before they show up
and you do five to 10.
1233
01:09:09,300 --> 01:09:13,100
So, what's it gonna be?
Fear or prison?
1234
01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:16,600
- What the hell are you talking about?
- Real simple, son.
1235
01:09:16,600 --> 01:09:17,900
Cops are coming.
1236
01:09:18,100 --> 01:09:23,200
There's a kilo of Colombian bam-bam
under the car. Time to be a man.
1237
01:09:23,500 --> 01:09:27,400
- You got hair on your peaches or what?
- You're not kidding, are you? Man.
1238
01:09:28,800 --> 01:09:30,800
You crazy creep!
1239
01:09:38,200 --> 01:09:40,100
Come on, son.
What's it gonna be?
1240
01:09:40,400 --> 01:09:42,000
Speed or jail?
1241
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:54,100
Grandpa, would you like
to take us fishing...
1242
01:09:54,400 --> 01:09:57,600
...and tell us life lessons and stories
about your childhood?
1243
01:09:57,900 --> 01:09:59,200
I got a better idea.
1244
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:02,200
Why don't you boys go dig a hole
and I'll get another beer?
1245
01:10:02,500 --> 01:10:06,500
Someone didn't love you enough
when you were little, did they?
1246
01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:09,500
Good call.
Here, that's worth a nickel.
1247
01:10:09,600 --> 01:10:10,800
Tragic.
1248
01:10:17,500 --> 01:10:19,800
Son of a bitch, son of a bitch,
son of a bitch.
1249
01:10:21,200 --> 01:10:23,200
Oh, man. Oh, man!
1250
01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:28,400
One-sixteen. One-sixteen!
1251
01:10:28,700 --> 01:10:31,100
I'm going fast again!
1252
01:10:50,900 --> 01:10:52,500
Pull over! Pull over!
1253
01:10:52,700 --> 01:10:56,500
Pull over?
I'll pull over for you. How about this?
1254
01:11:31,600 --> 01:11:33,600
Where are you?
1255
01:11:37,200 --> 01:11:39,000
Gotcha.
1256
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:51,300
"Feels good going fast, doesn't it?
1257
01:11:51,500 --> 01:11:56,400
By the way, don't try and snort
these Lucky Charms. Reese."
1258
01:11:58,400 --> 01:12:00,000
Okay.
1259
01:12:01,100 --> 01:12:02,500
Okay.
1260
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:16,500
There you go, little man.
1261
01:12:27,400 --> 01:12:28,800
Hey, Ricky!
1262
01:12:29,000 --> 01:12:30,400
How you doing?
1263
01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:38,400
- Oh, Nana, not my prison shank.
- In the can.
1264
01:12:47,400 --> 01:12:50,200
There's your
mother-flipping driving test.
1265
01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:53,300
Mr. Bobby, you are magnificent.
1266
01:12:55,200 --> 01:12:59,200
Down, Karen! Get down!
Get down, Karen!
1267
01:12:59,400 --> 01:13:01,100
It's all right. It's gonna be okay.
1268
01:13:09,900 --> 01:13:13,400
Well, son, you are looking good
behind that wheel.
1269
01:13:13,600 --> 01:13:17,400
Thanks, Daddy. I gotta tell you,
I feel good. Heck, you know what?
1270
01:13:17,700 --> 01:13:20,400
Let's go out tonight, you know,
the whole family.
1271
01:13:20,900 --> 01:13:23,800
I'm talking about sitting down,
enjoying a gourmet meal...
1272
01:13:24,100 --> 01:13:26,400
...at a place that's real special.
1273
01:13:26,500 --> 01:13:29,800
- Hi. Those plates are hot. Enjoy.
- You got your own skillet.
1274
01:13:30,100 --> 01:13:32,500
- Be back to check on you in a minute.
- Thank you.
1275
01:13:32,600 --> 01:13:34,900
Oh, gooder than grits.
1276
01:13:35,100 --> 01:13:36,500
Let us pray.
1277
01:13:38,400 --> 01:13:40,200
Dear Lord baby Jesus...
1278
01:13:40,400 --> 01:13:43,400
...lying there
in your little ghost manger...
1279
01:13:43,400 --> 01:13:46,900
...just looking at your Baby Einstein
developmental videos...
1280
01:13:47,200 --> 01:13:49,200
...learning about shapes
and colors and...
1281
01:13:49,500 --> 01:13:51,800
We just have so much
to be thankful for.
1282
01:13:52,000 --> 01:13:54,400
First off, my sons no longer act...
1283
01:13:54,400 --> 01:13:56,700
...like retarded gangbangers.
- Amen.
1284
01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:59,500
Also, I got my balls back
behind the wheel of a car.
1285
01:13:59,500 --> 01:14:01,700
And most importantly,
we thank you...
1286
01:14:02,000 --> 01:14:05,900
...for bringing back our nasty,
delinquent, pot-dealing daddy to us.
1287
01:14:06,100 --> 01:14:09,100
For he was lost,
but now he is found. Amen.
1288
01:14:09,400 --> 01:14:11,500
- Amen.
- Amen.
1289
01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:13,200
Son, that was lovely.
1290
01:14:13,500 --> 01:14:15,200
- What a lovely meal.
- It sure is.
1291
01:14:15,500 --> 01:14:17,500
It certainly does look delicious.
1292
01:14:17,800 --> 01:14:20,800
I gotta tell you, this is about
a damn perfect evening right now.
1293
01:14:21,100 --> 01:14:23,600
It is, isn't it?
1294
01:14:23,900 --> 01:14:25,800
You know what we should do?
1295
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:29,000
Every week, we should come back
to this Applebee's...
1296
01:14:29,300 --> 01:14:32,500
...and sit at this table,
and have a family meal.
1297
01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:35,000
- That's a great idea, Mama.
- And order the same stuff.
1298
01:14:35,300 --> 01:14:38,200
- That would be great.
- And I would be delighted, Reese...
1299
01:14:38,400 --> 01:14:42,400
...if you would accompany me to
ballroom dancing on Tuesday nights.
1300
01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:44,500
- Tuesday night?
- It's a lot of fun.
1301
01:14:44,500 --> 01:14:47,300
- I think you'd have a good time.
- How's everybody doing here?
1302
01:14:47,600 --> 01:14:50,500
- Dolly, it's so good.
- Oh, it's really, really good.
1303
01:14:50,600 --> 01:14:55,100
You know, I just...
I hate to be a pain, darling...
1304
01:14:57,900 --> 01:15:00,600
...but I asked for no onions
on my Bourbon Steak.
1305
01:15:01,000 --> 01:15:03,100
I am so sorry.
I thought you asked for onions...
1306
01:15:03,400 --> 01:15:05,200
Okay, okay,
maybe don't interrupt me.
1307
01:15:05,400 --> 01:15:08,500
- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
- Yeah, well, I think you did mean to...
1308
01:15:08,600 --> 01:15:12,600
...and I also think that you meant
to put the damn onions on my steak.
1309
01:15:13,100 --> 01:15:14,800
- Okay, Reese.
- Grandfather...
1310
01:15:15,000 --> 01:15:18,000
...can't we resolve
this conflict without anger?
1311
01:15:19,500 --> 01:15:22,600
- I'm a veteran and a diabetic!
- Dad!
1312
01:15:23,200 --> 01:15:26,800
- Dad! Why are you doing this?
- Applebee's has rats!
1313
01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:29,200
I found a whole rat
in my Cobb salad!
1314
01:15:29,500 --> 01:15:30,700
Dad, where are you going?
1315
01:15:30,900 --> 01:15:33,200
Come on, frat boy, you wanna go?
1316
01:15:33,400 --> 01:15:36,700
- What's going on, man?
- Ricky, let him go!
1317
01:15:37,000 --> 01:15:40,400
- Things were going good, weren't they?
- That's exactly why I had to blow it up.
1318
01:15:40,700 --> 01:15:42,500
I don't know what organ or bone
people have...
1319
01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:45,600
...that makes them act right,
but I was born without it. I'm no good.
1320
01:15:45,800 --> 01:15:50,300
All those races I won,
that was for you, you know that?
1321
01:15:50,600 --> 01:15:55,200
I did just like you told me:
"If you ain't first, you're last."
1322
01:15:55,500 --> 01:15:57,100
What the hell are you talking about?
1323
01:15:57,300 --> 01:15:59,900
What you told me
that day at school for career day.
1324
01:16:01,800 --> 01:16:05,400
You came in and you said,
"If you ain't first, you're last."
1325
01:16:07,200 --> 01:16:10,200
Oh, hell, Ricky,
I was high when I said that.
1326
01:16:10,400 --> 01:16:12,100
That doesn't make any sense at all.
1327
01:16:12,400 --> 01:16:16,300
"You're first or last." You can
be second, you can be third, fourth.
1328
01:16:16,500 --> 01:16:18,300
Hell, you can even be fifth.
1329
01:16:18,500 --> 01:16:23,000
What are you talking about?
I lived my whole life based on that.
1330
01:16:23,500 --> 01:16:25,400
Well, now what the hell
am I supposed to do?
1331
01:16:27,400 --> 01:16:30,700
Well, that's the million-dollar question,
isn't it?
1332
01:16:34,400 --> 01:16:36,400
Good luck to you, son.
1333
01:16:37,400 --> 01:16:38,900
Hey, Dad!
1334
01:16:40,400 --> 01:16:41,700
Where are you going?
1335
01:16:42,700 --> 01:16:44,600
Does it matter?
1336
01:17:15,700 --> 01:17:17,100
Here we go.
1337
01:17:19,100 --> 01:17:20,400
Hey, don't bump me.
1338
01:17:21,700 --> 01:17:24,000
Oh, man, I'm flying.
1339
01:17:28,600 --> 01:17:31,500
Game over. Come on, reset.
1340
01:17:31,600 --> 01:17:34,400
Boy, you are a terrible driver, no?
1341
01:17:34,400 --> 01:17:36,300
How'd you get on a video game
so fast?
1342
01:17:36,500 --> 01:17:40,200
Is your name, by chance,
Ricky Bobby?
1343
01:17:40,400 --> 01:17:43,500
Hey, screw you, man!
I got nothing because of you!
1344
01:17:46,400 --> 01:17:48,800
- I hate you!
- Hey, Ricky.
1345
01:17:49,000 --> 01:17:52,000
I am on fire. I am on fire.
1346
01:17:52,800 --> 01:17:54,000
Susan?
1347
01:17:54,200 --> 01:17:57,100
And so then I got a marketing
job with NASCAR.
1348
01:17:57,400 --> 01:18:00,300
- Really?
- Yeah, it's great. It's great.
1349
01:18:00,600 --> 01:18:04,100
Well, gosh, you look fantastic.
1350
01:18:04,400 --> 01:18:07,700
- Thank you.
- I mean, you've always looked good.
1351
01:18:08,800 --> 01:18:12,500
I mean, I'm just... I'm happy for you.
1352
01:18:13,400 --> 01:18:14,700
Thank you.
1353
01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:17,600
But what about you?
1354
01:18:17,600 --> 01:18:19,800
How have you been?
What have you been doing?
1355
01:18:20,000 --> 01:18:23,700
Well, they want me to race at Talladega
next weekend, but I'm not gonna do it.
1356
01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:26,500
Because I'm done.
I'm done with the racing, with driving.
1357
01:18:26,800 --> 01:18:29,600
- Why would you do that?
- Because I've really moved on.
1358
01:18:29,700 --> 01:18:32,200
I've sent in my application to
The Real World...
1359
01:18:32,400 --> 01:18:33,800
...so I'm hoping to hear back.
1360
01:18:34,100 --> 01:18:37,600
I'm putting a lot of my eggs into
that basket, the MTV basket.
1361
01:18:37,600 --> 01:18:41,000
I'm also thinking about getting a gun
and dealing crack.
1362
01:18:41,200 --> 01:18:45,000
Being a crack dealer, but not like
a mean crack dealer, but like a...
1363
01:18:45,200 --> 01:18:47,300
You know, like a nice one.
1364
01:18:47,600 --> 01:18:49,600
Just kind of friendly, like, "Hey...
1365
01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:52,000
...what's up, guys?
You want some crack?"
1366
01:18:52,200 --> 01:18:55,500
I'm just waiting on those two things
to kind of flesh themselves out.
1367
01:18:55,600 --> 01:18:56,600
You know what, Ricky?
1368
01:18:56,800 --> 01:19:00,800
I have kept my mouth shut
for a really, really long time.
1369
01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:03,500
And I just don't think that I can
keep it shut anymore.
1370
01:19:03,600 --> 01:19:06,500
I just have to tell you that I think
you are making a big mistake.
1371
01:19:06,700 --> 01:19:08,500
- Really?
- Yes.
1372
01:19:08,500 --> 01:19:12,100
Why is it that you always fall
for people who leave you?
1373
01:19:12,400 --> 01:19:14,200
Have you noticed that?
1374
01:19:14,400 --> 01:19:19,500
Like Carley and your dad
and your sponsors.
1375
01:19:19,800 --> 01:19:23,300
And you always have
to prove yourself. Wh...?
1376
01:19:24,800 --> 01:19:27,600
Well, you gotta listen
to me here, okay?
1377
01:19:27,600 --> 01:19:31,600
You gotta win to get love.
Everyone knows that.
1378
01:19:32,100 --> 01:19:34,400
I mean, that's just life.
1379
01:19:37,300 --> 01:19:40,500
Look at Don Shula,
legendary coach.
1380
01:19:40,500 --> 01:19:44,000
Look at that Asian guy
who holds the world record...
1381
01:19:44,200 --> 01:19:46,100
...for eating all those hot dogs
in a row.
1382
01:19:46,400 --> 01:19:50,000
Look at Rue McClanahan
from The Golden Girls.
1383
01:19:50,900 --> 01:19:54,200
All three people,
all great champions, all loved.
1384
01:19:54,500 --> 01:19:56,900
Do you wanna know why I think
that you should race again?
1385
01:19:58,000 --> 01:19:59,200
Sure. Why?
1386
01:19:59,400 --> 01:20:03,400
Okay. It's because
it's what you love, Ricky.
1387
01:20:04,100 --> 01:20:06,800
It is who you were born to be.
1388
01:20:07,000 --> 01:20:10,400
And here you sit, thinking.
1389
01:20:10,400 --> 01:20:15,500
Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker.
Ricky Bobby is a driver.
1390
01:20:15,700 --> 01:20:18,100
He is a doer.
And that's what you need to do.
1391
01:20:18,400 --> 01:20:20,200
You don't need to think,
you need to drive.
1392
01:20:20,400 --> 01:20:24,200
You need speed. You need to go out
there, and you need to rev your engine.
1393
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:25,500
You need to fire it up.
1394
01:20:25,500 --> 01:20:28,400
You need to grab hold of the line
between speed and chaos...
1395
01:20:28,400 --> 01:20:31,300
...and you need to wrestle it
to the ground like a demon cobra.
1396
01:20:31,600 --> 01:20:34,300
And then, when that fear rises up
in your belly, you use it...
1397
01:20:34,600 --> 01:20:37,400
...and you know that fear is powerful
because it has been there...
1398
01:20:37,500 --> 01:20:41,500
...for billions of years! And it is good,
and you use it, and you ride it.
1399
01:20:41,800 --> 01:20:44,600
You ride it like a skeleton horse
through the gates of hell...
1400
01:20:44,800 --> 01:20:46,400
...and then you win! You win!
1401
01:20:46,400 --> 01:20:49,300
You don't win for anybody else,
you win for you. You know why?
1402
01:20:49,500 --> 01:20:51,600
Because a man takes what he wants,
he takes it all.
1403
01:20:51,800 --> 01:20:54,400
And you're a man, aren't you?
Aren't you?
1404
01:20:55,500 --> 01:20:57,400
Susan, I've never heard you
talk like that.
1405
01:21:00,900 --> 01:21:02,800
Are we about to get it on?
1406
01:21:03,100 --> 01:21:05,800
Because I'm as hard as a diamond
in an ice storm right now.
1407
01:21:09,600 --> 01:21:11,600
- This is awesome.
- Yes, it is.
1408
01:21:11,800 --> 01:21:14,700
- Are you climbing on the table now?
- Yes, sir.
1409
01:21:20,300 --> 01:21:22,600
I can't believe this.
1410
01:21:22,800 --> 01:21:28,600
This is like that Whitesnake video
where the girl crawls on...
1411
01:21:28,800 --> 01:21:31,700
Yeah. Just like that.
What's her name?
1412
01:21:31,900 --> 01:21:34,000
Tawny Kitaen. She's really good.
1413
01:21:34,200 --> 01:21:36,200
- She's great.
- She's fantastic.
1414
01:21:37,400 --> 01:21:38,900
Everyone, turn away.
1415
01:21:39,100 --> 01:21:43,100
Things are gonna get crazy.
We're gonna make animal noises.
1416
01:22:18,500 --> 01:22:20,600
- Looks good, damn good.
- Yeah. That's good, guys.
1417
01:22:20,900 --> 01:22:23,600
Yeah, Ricky, it's good to be back.
1418
01:22:23,600 --> 01:22:25,400
- Talladega.
- Talladega.
1419
01:22:25,600 --> 01:22:27,600
I missed you dudes.
1420
01:22:27,800 --> 01:22:29,100
Even you too, Glenn.
1421
01:22:30,800 --> 01:22:35,900
I didn't have a whole lot of money left,
but what I did I put into the car.
1422
01:22:36,100 --> 01:22:39,000
We got some lower-end sponsors,
so it's nothing to shout about...
1423
01:22:39,200 --> 01:22:41,400
...but at least we got
something to run in.
1424
01:22:41,600 --> 01:22:42,900
Let's see what we got, guys.
1425
01:22:44,500 --> 01:22:47,500
What are we looking at?
"Julio's thongs for men"?
1426
01:22:47,500 --> 01:22:49,700
Come on, what kind of dude
wears a thong?
1427
01:22:49,900 --> 01:22:51,900
Yeah, that's messed up.
1428
01:22:52,400 --> 01:22:53,500
Perverts, you know?
1429
01:22:55,200 --> 01:22:56,500
It's not the best car, but it'll move.
1430
01:22:57,900 --> 01:23:01,500
Hold on, now, baby. Let's just see
what this thing's got under the hood.
1431
01:23:03,500 --> 01:23:06,300
- There she is.
- Looks like the Pep Boys threw up.
1432
01:23:06,600 --> 01:23:08,300
- Damn.
- Like I said, work in progress.
1433
01:23:08,600 --> 01:23:12,100
All right, I tell you what we gotta do.
Since we got no corporate money...
1434
01:23:12,400 --> 01:23:14,200
...we have to build this
engine ourselves.
1435
01:23:14,400 --> 01:23:18,400
I want you to hit up every independent
driver out there for spare parts.
1436
01:23:18,600 --> 01:23:20,600
Yeah, Lucius, that's crazy.
1437
01:23:20,800 --> 01:23:24,100
Well, crazy is all we got
right now, okay? So do it.
1438
01:23:24,400 --> 01:23:25,400
Now, where you going?
1439
01:23:25,700 --> 01:23:28,000
I wanna tell Gerard Depardieu
we're coming for him.
1440
01:23:28,200 --> 01:23:30,800
There you go, baby. Give him hell.
1441
01:23:31,100 --> 01:23:34,400
Get this engine built. Get it built.
1442
01:23:40,800 --> 01:23:42,700
I have not finished.
1443
01:23:50,600 --> 01:23:54,400
Monsieur Girard,
Ricky Bobby is here to see you.
1444
01:23:54,400 --> 01:23:58,400
This is the one I was talking about,
Ricky Bobby.
1445
01:23:59,700 --> 01:24:02,200
Thank you, Bacco. Go.
1446
01:24:02,900 --> 01:24:05,300
You're a tough man to find.
You know that, buster?
1447
01:24:05,500 --> 01:24:08,000
I prefer solitude
the day before a race.
1448
01:24:08,300 --> 01:24:11,200
I am being so incredibly rude,
Monsieur Bobby.
1449
01:24:11,500 --> 01:24:13,800
Let me introduce you
to my lunch guests.
1450
01:24:14,000 --> 01:24:17,400
This is my dear old friend
Elvis Costello.
1451
01:24:17,400 --> 01:24:21,300
Delightful to meet you, Mr. Robert.
I thought you were dead.
1452
01:24:21,800 --> 01:24:28,000
And next to him is hip-hop artist,
poet and my brother-in-law, Mos Def.
1453
01:24:28,300 --> 01:24:30,900
I like your driving style.
I'm more of a Tony Stewart man...
1454
01:24:31,200 --> 01:24:32,600
...number 20 car, myself.
1455
01:24:32,900 --> 01:24:34,800
How he gets into
those straightaways.
1456
01:24:35,100 --> 01:24:36,500
Gets it in the paint. Get her done!
1457
01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:39,500
And across from Monsieur Def...
1458
01:24:40,600 --> 01:24:41,800
...is Breeze.
1459
01:24:42,100 --> 01:24:45,200
Hey. You're Breeze or you're Breeze?
Which one of you is Breeze?
1460
01:24:45,500 --> 01:24:47,800
Together we are Breeze.
1461
01:24:48,100 --> 01:24:51,800
They are like twins,
born from different wombs.
1462
01:24:52,400 --> 01:24:53,700
- Right.
- They are God's most...
1463
01:24:53,900 --> 01:24:56,200
...beautiful mistake.
1464
01:24:56,500 --> 01:25:00,000
They do everything together.
Everything.
1465
01:25:00,300 --> 01:25:02,500
They read the same books.
1466
01:25:02,800 --> 01:25:06,600
They do Pilates together.
1467
01:25:07,600 --> 01:25:10,000
They walk, talk, sleep...
1468
01:25:10,400 --> 01:25:12,200
...even go make toilet.
1469
01:25:12,400 --> 01:25:14,300
Okay, you're starting
to creep me out, man.
1470
01:25:14,600 --> 01:25:16,000
A single plop.
1471
01:25:16,300 --> 01:25:17,800
One single plop.
1472
01:25:19,700 --> 01:25:21,400
I don't need to hear about
doing a toilet.
1473
01:25:21,700 --> 01:25:23,200
You want more examples?
1474
01:25:23,400 --> 01:25:26,400
- No, you listed like 8000.
- Less than that.
1475
01:25:26,600 --> 01:25:28,500
- It's none of my business.
- More like...
1476
01:25:28,700 --> 01:25:30,500
...I don't know, between five and 10.
1477
01:25:30,500 --> 01:25:32,600
Look, I need to talk to you.
1478
01:25:33,000 --> 01:25:34,500
Walk with me, Ricky Bobby.
1479
01:25:34,800 --> 01:25:37,000
- You have a good lunch.
- Take care, man.
1480
01:25:37,700 --> 01:25:39,800
- Goodbye, Ricky.
- Goodbye.
1481
01:25:40,100 --> 01:25:42,900
Holding hands with a man
makes me terribly uncomfortable.
1482
01:25:43,100 --> 01:25:46,200
It is a sign of friendship
in many countries.
1483
01:25:46,500 --> 01:25:48,100
Well, not in ours.
1484
01:25:48,400 --> 01:25:50,900
There's nothing sexual about it.
1485
01:25:51,200 --> 01:25:53,400
Please don't be worried at the fact
I have an erection.
1486
01:25:53,700 --> 01:25:56,400
- It has nothing to do with you.
- Hey, come on.
1487
01:25:56,700 --> 01:26:01,500
Look. Here's the deal.
I came here to tell you one thing.
1488
01:26:01,600 --> 01:26:04,400
All right?
Tomorrow, I'm coming for you.
1489
01:26:04,500 --> 01:26:07,500
Do you know why I came to America,
Ricky Bobby?
1490
01:26:08,300 --> 01:26:11,400
Public schools, health-care system,
giant water parks.
1491
01:26:11,500 --> 01:26:13,700
I mean, the same reason
anyone comes to America.
1492
01:26:15,100 --> 01:26:18,400
I came here for you to beat me.
1493
01:26:19,000 --> 01:26:22,000
- What the hell are you talking about?
- My husband, Gregory, and I...
1494
01:26:22,200 --> 01:26:26,000
...wish only for that
which every other couple wishes for:
1495
01:26:26,200 --> 01:26:30,200
To tame Komodo dragons
in Sri Lanka...
1496
01:26:30,400 --> 01:26:33,500
...and teach them
to perform Hamlet.
1497
01:26:33,600 --> 01:26:35,200
But before I can do that...
1498
01:26:35,400 --> 01:26:37,900
- That's dumb.
- It's not dumb.
1499
01:26:38,200 --> 01:26:40,000
- It is dumb.
- Why is it dumb?
1500
01:26:40,200 --> 01:26:42,100
- I don't know.
- But before I can do that...
1501
01:26:42,400 --> 01:26:46,400
...I must be beaten by a driver
who's truly better than me.
1502
01:26:46,900 --> 01:26:49,100
So you're gonna lose to me
on purpose?
1503
01:26:49,400 --> 01:26:51,000
- No.
- No?
1504
01:26:51,300 --> 01:26:52,400
No!
1505
01:26:53,600 --> 01:26:56,300
I will battle you with the entirety
of my heart.
1506
01:26:56,500 --> 01:26:58,300
And you will probably lose.
1507
01:26:58,900 --> 01:27:03,300
But maybe, just maybe...
1508
01:27:04,000 --> 01:27:06,300
...you might challenge me.
1509
01:27:06,600 --> 01:27:08,000
God needs the devil.
1510
01:27:08,300 --> 01:27:11,200
The Beatles needed
the Rolling Stones.
1511
01:27:11,400 --> 01:27:14,800
Even Diane Sawyer
needed Katie Couric.
1512
01:27:16,000 --> 01:27:18,800
Will you be my Katie Couric?
1513
01:27:21,300 --> 01:27:23,500
I feel like I'm in Highlander.
1514
01:27:26,600 --> 01:27:28,200
What's the Highlander?
1515
01:27:28,500 --> 01:27:29,500
It's a movie.
1516
01:27:29,800 --> 01:27:31,600
- Any good?
- Very good.
1517
01:27:31,800 --> 01:27:33,800
- It won the Academy Award.
- Oh, for what?
1518
01:27:34,000 --> 01:27:35,600
For best movie ever made.
1519
01:27:35,800 --> 01:27:39,000
I just want you to know I came here
today to tell you one thing.
1520
01:27:39,200 --> 01:27:42,000
That come race time tomorrow,
I'm coming for you, all right?
1521
01:27:43,000 --> 01:27:45,100
- May God be with you.
- Yeah.
1522
01:27:45,400 --> 01:27:48,400
Because although
today I am friendly...
1523
01:27:49,400 --> 01:27:54,000
...tomorrow will be war!
1524
01:27:55,000 --> 01:27:56,000
All right.
1525
01:28:01,300 --> 01:28:04,900
Ladies and gentlemen, pull up a chair,
drop the kids off with their aunt...
1526
01:28:05,100 --> 01:28:07,900
...and take the phone off the hook
because it's race day here...
1527
01:28:08,100 --> 01:28:10,300
...at the Talladega Superspeedway.
1528
01:28:20,500 --> 01:28:22,500
Hey, guys.
1529
01:28:24,900 --> 01:28:26,800
- Why so down?
- Ricky...
1530
01:28:27,100 --> 01:28:29,500
...we were up all night
working on the car.
1531
01:28:29,800 --> 01:28:31,800
And then something happened.
There was a fire.
1532
01:28:32,100 --> 01:28:33,500
Did you say "fire"?
1533
01:28:33,600 --> 01:28:35,100
Glenn is dead, Ricky.
1534
01:28:36,200 --> 01:28:39,500
I mean,
he died last night in my arms...
1535
01:28:39,500 --> 01:28:41,200
...as I held him.
- Oh, man.
1536
01:28:41,400 --> 01:28:44,000
He was so scared,
because you know how little he is.
1537
01:28:44,200 --> 01:28:46,500
And death was coming for him,
and he stood there...
1538
01:28:46,500 --> 01:28:50,200
...and with a tear coming out his eyes,
he said, "Tell Ricky, win for me."
1539
01:28:50,400 --> 01:28:53,100
That's all that little bastard wanted,
was for you to win.
1540
01:28:53,400 --> 01:28:54,500
I wish you could've seen him.
1541
01:28:54,700 --> 01:28:57,400
I wish you could've felt
his little heart fluttering.
1542
01:28:57,500 --> 01:28:58,900
Sweet Jesus.
1543
01:28:59,400 --> 01:29:01,400
Poor Glenn.
1544
01:29:03,600 --> 01:29:06,600
Hey, what the hell, man.
Hey, Glenn. Glenn!
1545
01:29:08,900 --> 01:29:12,300
- I see you.
- Glenn, what did I say?
1546
01:29:12,600 --> 01:29:15,100
- I said, "Wait till after the race."
- Was he crying?
1547
01:29:15,300 --> 01:29:18,700
I'm sorry, Ricky. We were just trying to
give you a little extra motivation.
1548
01:29:18,900 --> 01:29:21,700
Well, that is just sick, guys.
1549
01:29:22,000 --> 01:29:24,900
It's okay, Susie.
I appreciate it, guys.
1550
01:29:25,200 --> 01:29:26,600
Just trying to help out...
1551
01:29:26,600 --> 01:29:29,500
...even though
it was weird and perverse.
1552
01:29:29,600 --> 01:29:32,000
They're just trying to help, Ricky.
We're a team here.
1553
01:29:32,300 --> 01:29:34,500
- I appreciate it.
- Let's see what's under the hood.
1554
01:29:34,600 --> 01:29:36,700
All right, let's have a look.
1555
01:29:42,500 --> 01:29:45,700
Hot dog. I mean, that's like looking up
Bridgette Wilson-Sampras' skirt.
1556
01:29:45,900 --> 01:29:49,300
We were up all night working on it.
Like I said, a lot of teams gave parts.
1557
01:29:49,500 --> 01:29:50,600
Nice work, guys.
1558
01:29:50,800 --> 01:29:54,500
And your sponsors weren't doing
very much, so...
1559
01:29:54,500 --> 01:29:56,500
...well, we repainted the car.
1560
01:29:56,700 --> 01:29:59,000
Well, take a look. Come on, guys.
1561
01:30:01,800 --> 01:30:05,100
Well, I like the cougar,
but what company is "M.E."?
1562
01:30:05,400 --> 01:30:07,500
"Me" is you...
1563
01:30:07,800 --> 01:30:09,500
...because it's just you out there.
1564
01:30:09,600 --> 01:30:12,600
We don't have
any corporate sponsors.
1565
01:30:12,600 --> 01:30:14,800
We don't have
any fancy team owners.
1566
01:30:15,100 --> 01:30:16,600
We have you...
1567
01:30:16,800 --> 01:30:19,700
...and this car, and this cougar...
1568
01:30:20,000 --> 01:30:22,800
...which symbolizes the fear
that you have overcome.
1569
01:30:23,000 --> 01:30:24,800
It's all there for you.
1570
01:30:25,300 --> 01:30:30,400
Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur,
the mighty sword King Arthur used...
1571
01:30:30,500 --> 01:30:33,000
...to bring together
the Knights of the Round Table...
1572
01:30:33,200 --> 01:30:37,900
...until Lancelot betrayed him by laying
with his queen, in the biblical sense.
1573
01:30:38,200 --> 01:30:39,700
Okay, Glenn.
1574
01:30:40,000 --> 01:30:43,000
Everything cool that Susan said,
you wrecked it.
1575
01:30:44,700 --> 01:30:46,900
Guys, let's go win ourselves
a race, all right?
1576
01:30:47,100 --> 01:30:49,200
- There you go. Yeah!
- Right?
1577
01:30:49,400 --> 01:30:51,700
Let's get out there and win a race.
1578
01:31:05,900 --> 01:31:07,400
From Provence, France...
1579
01:31:07,500 --> 01:31:11,200
...driver of the number 55
Perrier car...
1580
01:31:11,500 --> 01:31:14,500
...Jean Girard.
1581
01:31:21,900 --> 01:31:24,400
From West River, North Carolina...
1582
01:31:24,500 --> 01:31:27,700
...driver of the number 47
Old Spice car...
1583
01:31:28,000 --> 01:31:31,200
...Cal Naughton Jr.
1584
01:31:40,300 --> 01:31:42,100
Hey, Carley.
1585
01:31:42,300 --> 01:31:45,800
- Hey, Ricky.
- Carley! Hey, baby.
1586
01:31:47,800 --> 01:31:49,400
Baby.
1587
01:31:49,500 --> 01:31:51,400
Oh, hey, Ricky.
1588
01:31:51,700 --> 01:31:54,400
Hey, man.
We missed you at the wedding.
1589
01:31:54,400 --> 01:31:57,400
- You missed me at the wedding?
- Oh, man, it was so classy.
1590
01:31:57,600 --> 01:32:01,100
We had a Styx cover band
and a nacho fountain.
1591
01:32:01,300 --> 01:32:04,300
Check it, it was a nacho fountain
with six kinds of cheese on it.
1592
01:32:04,500 --> 01:32:07,600
- Liquid cheese? It cascaded down?
- Yeah.
1593
01:32:07,800 --> 01:32:10,000
- Are you serious?
- Amazing. Six different kinds.
1594
01:32:10,200 --> 01:32:11,600
Swiss, Havarti.
What was the other one?
1595
01:32:11,900 --> 01:32:13,000
- Gouda.
- Cheddar, Gouda.
1596
01:32:13,200 --> 01:32:15,100
That's the greatest thing
I ever heard of.
1597
01:32:15,400 --> 01:32:17,200
Bean buffet in front of it.
It was awesome.
1598
01:32:17,400 --> 01:32:20,600
Don't listen to him. And remember
one thing, he's the competition.
1599
01:32:20,800 --> 01:32:23,600
You're not very focused right now.
I need you to focus.
1600
01:32:23,900 --> 01:32:25,300
- Hey.
- What?
1601
01:32:25,500 --> 01:32:27,600
- I'm the Magic Man now. Okay?
- Yeah, I know.
1602
01:32:27,900 --> 01:32:30,800
So get ready for some tricks up
these sleeves, all right?
1603
01:32:31,100 --> 01:32:32,400
Watch your buns, pal.
1604
01:32:32,400 --> 01:32:35,400
Baby, that is real good talk.
Like we practiced last night.
1605
01:32:35,400 --> 01:32:37,900
I got something to tell you,
you mangy piece of trash.
1606
01:32:38,100 --> 01:32:40,700
- What?
- I'm sorry.
1607
01:32:42,900 --> 01:32:46,400
I took you for granted, Cal, and you
were a really good friend to me...
1608
01:32:46,600 --> 01:32:49,800
...and I never gave you your due.
It was my fault.
1609
01:32:51,000 --> 01:32:54,400
I'll tell you the truth.
I'm a little confused by your tactics.
1610
01:32:54,500 --> 01:32:57,500
- Tactics?
- Yeah. I'm gonna keep acting tough...
1611
01:32:57,500 --> 01:32:59,700
...until I figure it out. All right?
1612
01:33:00,500 --> 01:33:02,200
See you on the track.
1613
01:33:02,400 --> 01:33:04,700
- Come on, baby.
- I love you.
1614
01:33:04,900 --> 01:33:06,500
I love you too. Come on.
1615
01:33:06,800 --> 01:33:08,700
Abracadabra, homes.
1616
01:33:12,800 --> 01:33:15,500
Hi, Bill Weber, along with
Wally Dallenbach and Benny Parsons.
1617
01:33:15,800 --> 01:33:19,500
Thanks for having us. Today,
Talladega, NASCAR's biggest track...
1618
01:33:19,600 --> 01:33:21,500
...where the big concern
is the big wreck.
1619
01:33:21,600 --> 01:33:23,700
And it's not if it happens,
it's where and when.
1620
01:33:23,900 --> 01:33:27,100
We have a guy in the race today
that'll probably cause it, Ricky Bobby.
1621
01:33:27,400 --> 01:33:29,400
Starting in the rear of the field,
underfunded...
1622
01:33:29,500 --> 01:33:32,100
...and the last time we saw him,
he caused a big crash.
1623
01:33:32,400 --> 01:33:35,700
A lot of big stories and some
big questions here at Talladega.
1624
01:33:48,500 --> 01:33:50,700
All right, go get them.
1625
01:34:04,800 --> 01:34:06,700
You must decide, Ricky Bobby.
1626
01:34:07,000 --> 01:34:10,600
Is it foolish pride,
or is it greatness for you?
1627
01:34:18,800 --> 01:34:21,500
- Hey, Jarvis!
- Go ahead, Cal.
1628
01:34:21,800 --> 01:34:24,900
If you slept with
your best friend's wife...
1629
01:34:25,100 --> 01:34:28,700
...why would he apologize to you?
- Yeah, I know. That's weird.
1630
01:34:29,000 --> 01:34:32,600
That's what I'm saying.
My head's all tied up like a pretzel.
1631
01:34:32,900 --> 01:34:34,400
I got a pretzel in my head.
1632
01:34:39,400 --> 01:34:40,700
- Ricky!
- Come on, Dad!
1633
01:35:07,600 --> 01:35:09,500
I've got some big investors
coming by.
1634
01:35:09,600 --> 01:35:11,600
These guys are
big-money power players.
1635
01:35:11,600 --> 01:35:15,000
If things go right, they could have us
owning half the cars in NASCAR.
1636
01:35:15,200 --> 01:35:17,000
So I want you...
No, I want you to behave.
1637
01:35:17,200 --> 01:35:18,500
- Oh, really?
- Quiet.
1638
01:35:18,500 --> 01:35:20,900
Should I not tell them
after 14 years of marriage...
1639
01:35:21,100 --> 01:35:23,200
...you're still afraid
to let me see you naked?
1640
01:35:23,400 --> 01:35:25,400
That's not a fear thing,
it's a trust thing.
1641
01:35:25,900 --> 01:35:28,800
Hey! I was wondering
where you guys got off to.
1642
01:35:29,100 --> 01:35:31,200
Baby, this is Ted Beamen
from Halliburton.
1643
01:35:31,400 --> 01:35:33,500
- Nice to meet you.
- Over here...
1644
01:35:33,500 --> 01:35:36,500
...is Dick Tangfield
from Dynacorp.
1645
01:35:36,500 --> 01:35:38,500
- Back there is...
- You have beautiful teeth.
1646
01:35:38,800 --> 01:35:40,600
Yes, he does.
Get yourselves down there.
1647
01:35:40,600 --> 01:35:42,400
- Adorable.
- Make yourselves at home...
1648
01:35:42,500 --> 01:35:46,000
...grab something to eat, over here...
- Sweetheart, sweetheart.
1649
01:35:46,200 --> 01:35:47,600
You're a sweetie pie.
1650
01:35:47,800 --> 01:35:50,500
She's very affectionate.
She suffered a recent loss...
1651
01:35:50,800 --> 01:35:52,100
You taste good too.
1652
01:35:52,400 --> 01:35:54,200
- So she's a little emotional.
1653
01:35:54,400 --> 01:35:58,400
Okay, that's fine. Go ahead, find a seat.
Can we get these guys something?
1654
01:35:58,800 --> 01:36:02,100
Jean Girard started from the pole
and is out to a big lead.
1655
01:36:02,400 --> 01:36:04,600
As you know, Bill,
he's been doing that all year.
1656
01:36:07,100 --> 01:36:11,700
Where are you, Ricky Bobby?
Come face your destroyer!
1657
01:36:12,000 --> 01:36:14,500
"Come face your destroyer"?
Listen to how I sound.
1658
01:36:14,600 --> 01:36:16,400
I sound like a massive prick.
1659
01:36:18,600 --> 01:36:20,200
Come on, baby! Yeah, that's it.
1660
01:36:20,500 --> 01:36:23,300
All right, Lucius.
Time to let the cougar loose.
1661
01:36:25,600 --> 01:36:27,400
Here we go, boys.
1662
01:36:35,200 --> 01:36:37,600
Ricky Bobby, in the 62 car,
on the move.
1663
01:36:37,800 --> 01:36:40,000
He's gone from 26th to 18th place.
1664
01:36:40,300 --> 01:36:43,800
Now let's go to John Hannafin, in the
stands with a country-music legend.
1665
01:36:44,100 --> 01:36:47,300
Thank you, Sean. I'm here with one
of the greatest country-music stars...
1666
01:36:47,400 --> 01:36:49,200
...of all time, Kenny Rogers.
1667
01:36:49,500 --> 01:36:53,400
- What do you think of the race so far?
- It's good. They're going really fast.
1668
01:36:53,500 --> 01:36:55,600
John, that's not Kenny Rogers.
1669
01:36:55,800 --> 01:36:58,400
In the song "The Gambler,"
you sang:
1670
01:36:58,400 --> 01:37:01,600
"You gotta know when to walk away
and know when to run."
1671
01:37:01,800 --> 01:37:04,400
Should Ricky Bobby have
stayed away from racing?
1672
01:37:04,400 --> 01:37:09,600
Mr. Bobby's very competitive.
If he wants to race, he should race.
1673
01:37:10,000 --> 01:37:13,800
Well, this is John Hannafin with Kenny
Rogers. And now back to you, Bill.
1674
01:37:14,000 --> 01:37:15,900
Well, that, of course,
was not Kenny Rogers.
1675
01:37:16,200 --> 01:37:17,100
Not even close.
1676
01:37:18,200 --> 01:37:20,300
Ricky, you've got Brian Wavecrest...
1677
01:37:20,400 --> 01:37:22,900
...the guy that replaced you
at Dennit, dead ahead.
1678
01:37:23,200 --> 01:37:25,800
Bobby working really hard to pass
the Wonder Bread car.
1679
01:37:26,000 --> 01:37:27,800
That's his old ride, of course.
1680
01:37:34,400 --> 01:37:36,700
We've passed the halfway mark
with Ricky Bobby...
1681
01:37:37,000 --> 01:37:40,000
...now three car lengths
behind the leader.
1682
01:37:40,200 --> 01:37:43,400
Maybe subconsciously
you slept with Ricky's wife...
1683
01:37:43,500 --> 01:37:45,300
...as a way of getting back at him...
1684
01:37:45,600 --> 01:37:48,300
...for making you
come in second all those years.
1685
01:37:48,600 --> 01:37:52,600
I know one thing, Carley was definitely
unconscious every time we had sex.
1686
01:37:54,400 --> 01:37:56,600
Lucius, I got Cal Naughton
dead ahead of me.
1687
01:37:59,900 --> 01:38:02,600
Hey, Cal, you should pay attention.
I think he's passing you.
1688
01:38:02,800 --> 01:38:05,000
Is Ricky passing me
in my subconscious?
1689
01:38:05,300 --> 01:38:08,100
No, he's actually passing you.
That's happening right now.
1690
01:38:08,500 --> 01:38:10,800
Go, Ricky! Go!
1691
01:38:11,000 --> 01:38:12,500
Let's go back to our
John Hannafin...
1692
01:38:12,800 --> 01:38:16,300
...who's in the stands
with an NBA legend, Larry Bird.
1693
01:38:16,600 --> 01:38:18,900
Folks, I'm here with one of the great
NBA superstars...
1694
01:38:19,100 --> 01:38:20,800
...a real legend, Larry Bird.
1695
01:38:21,000 --> 01:38:24,200
I almost didn't recognize you with
the sunglasses. What are you up to?
1696
01:38:24,500 --> 01:38:26,000
Come on, John, pay attention.
1697
01:38:26,300 --> 01:38:28,400
I'm concerned.
He might have had a stroke.
1698
01:38:28,500 --> 01:38:31,100
Didn't Ricky Bobby used to
drive for you?
1699
01:38:31,400 --> 01:38:33,300
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- He's doing quite well.
1700
01:38:33,500 --> 01:38:36,500
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Richard!
1701
01:38:37,400 --> 01:38:39,700
Get Cal Naughton's crew chief
on the radio right away.
1702
01:38:41,500 --> 01:38:45,500
I believe you have some tickets waiting
for me. My name's Reese Bobby.
1703
01:38:46,000 --> 01:38:47,400
Reese Bobby.
1704
01:38:49,000 --> 01:38:52,500
Mister, these tickets have been waiting
for you for a long time.
1705
01:38:59,500 --> 01:39:01,800
Who needs two? I got tickets!
1706
01:39:02,100 --> 01:39:04,200
Tickets, right here, 60 bucks a pop.
1707
01:39:11,500 --> 01:39:15,500
All right, Girard, I found you.
Now let's see where this goes.
1708
01:39:16,000 --> 01:39:17,600
Bobby's gotten around Naughton...
1709
01:39:17,600 --> 01:39:21,300
...and now he's right behind Girard,
but Girard's gonna block the track.
1710
01:39:21,500 --> 01:39:23,600
Man, he's scary good.
1711
01:39:23,600 --> 01:39:25,800
Ah, Ricky Bobby.
1712
01:39:26,000 --> 01:39:30,500
Now we shall dance,
and yes, it will be a slow jam.
1713
01:39:36,800 --> 01:39:39,200
Damn it. Come on, man.
1714
01:39:42,100 --> 01:39:44,600
I was wrong about you, Ricky Bobby.
1715
01:39:44,600 --> 01:39:47,100
You are not the one to defeat me.
1716
01:39:50,900 --> 01:39:52,300
I can't get around him, man.
1717
01:39:56,400 --> 01:39:58,900
You tell Cal Naughton
to take Ricky Bobby out.
1718
01:39:59,200 --> 01:40:03,200
Hey, Cal, listen. I hate to add
to your tremendous moral confusion...
1719
01:40:03,400 --> 01:40:04,700
...but I just heard from Dennit.
1720
01:40:05,000 --> 01:40:08,000
He said to take Ricky Bobby
out of the race or you're fired, buddy.
1721
01:40:08,300 --> 01:40:09,600
What are you talking about?
1722
01:40:09,800 --> 01:40:13,400
Tell him if he doesn't do it, he's done.
That's right, he'll be driving a tour bus.
1723
01:40:13,700 --> 01:40:18,200
Well, you tell Mr. Dennit that
Ricky Bobby is my best friend.
1724
01:40:18,400 --> 01:40:21,200
- And it's Shake and Bake time.
- Cal, I don't like the way...
1725
01:40:21,400 --> 01:40:24,800
...you're talking out there.
- Damn the torpedoes!
1726
01:40:33,000 --> 01:40:37,000
Come on, man, slingshot it.
Slingshot, come on.
1727
01:40:37,400 --> 01:40:40,400
I can't believe it.
If it isn't Mike Honcho himself.
1728
01:40:40,700 --> 01:40:42,100
Shake and Bake, buddy!
1729
01:40:42,400 --> 01:40:44,200
Shake it before you bake it.
1730
01:40:45,100 --> 01:40:48,600
Here I come. Slingshot engaged.
1731
01:40:51,700 --> 01:40:53,400
Yeah!
1732
01:40:54,200 --> 01:40:55,600
I love you, Cal!
1733
01:40:55,900 --> 01:40:58,600
- What are you doing?
- Can't believe it. Now I've seen it all.
1734
01:40:58,900 --> 01:41:03,600
Cal Naughton from Dennit Racing just
helped a rival driver pass a teammate.
1735
01:41:05,600 --> 01:41:09,900
Darrell, you tell Brian Wavecrest
to take out Cal Naughton right now.
1736
01:41:10,100 --> 01:41:12,400
Right now, you do it. You do it!
1737
01:41:13,300 --> 01:41:14,400
Yes, sir.
1738
01:41:22,200 --> 01:41:25,200
And the 26 car just ran Naughton
into the wall.
1739
01:41:31,300 --> 01:41:32,700
Oh, man.
1740
01:41:38,600 --> 01:41:40,600
Damn you, Wavecrest!
1741
01:41:44,200 --> 01:41:48,200
The entire field was in that wreck,
and we've only got six laps to go.
1742
01:41:48,500 --> 01:41:51,500
Only Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard
got away clean.
1743
01:41:54,000 --> 01:41:56,500
It's just Jean and Ricky.
1744
01:42:00,800 --> 01:42:05,500
And now the matador shall dance
with the blind shoemaker.
1745
01:42:07,500 --> 01:42:10,600
Race officials have completed
an extensive cleanup of the track.
1746
01:42:10,900 --> 01:42:12,500
We're ready to get back to racing.
1747
01:42:12,500 --> 01:42:16,000
The 200,000 fans are on their feet,
and the green flag is in the air.
1748
01:42:25,400 --> 01:42:27,800
Bobby and Girard are
dueling each other for the lead.
1749
01:42:28,100 --> 01:42:30,400
No one seems to have the edge.
1750
01:42:30,500 --> 01:42:32,600
Go, go, go! Come on, come on, go!
1751
01:42:32,800 --> 01:42:35,600
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is the final lap.
1752
01:42:38,700 --> 01:42:42,500
By the way, Ricky,
I watched the Highlander movie.
1753
01:42:42,800 --> 01:42:44,200
It was shit.
1754
01:42:46,000 --> 01:42:48,400
Hang on, baby Jesus,
this is gonna get bumpy.
1755
01:43:15,300 --> 01:43:17,300
I've seen a lot of big crashes
at Talladega...
1756
01:43:17,600 --> 01:43:19,400
...but this is the longest one
I've ever seen.
1757
01:43:19,600 --> 01:43:22,400
Let's take a quick commercial break
and we'll be right back.
1758
01:43:22,500 --> 01:43:24,500
Hungry for both steak and shrimp?
1759
01:43:32,400 --> 01:43:36,200
Welcome back to Talladega,
where the long one continues.
1760
01:43:43,600 --> 01:43:47,500
No, no! Jean Girard and Ricky Bobby
have wrecked in the last lap...
1761
01:43:47,800 --> 01:43:49,500
...on the straightaway.
What a shame.
1762
01:43:49,700 --> 01:43:51,500
Oh, God.
1763
01:43:52,600 --> 01:43:56,500
It looks like neither Girard or Bobby
will finish this race.
1764
01:43:56,500 --> 01:43:59,800
We'd like to thank you for joining us
for NBC's coverage of NAS CAR.
1765
01:44:00,000 --> 01:44:03,000
Coming up next,
it's Ice Dancing to the Hits of Motown.
1766
01:44:22,600 --> 01:44:25,400
Wait a minute, there's something
going on on the track down there.
1767
01:44:25,700 --> 01:44:27,900
Oh, my God,
they're racing each other on foot.
1768
01:44:28,200 --> 01:44:29,400
These men will not quit.
1769
01:44:29,700 --> 01:44:31,800
Go! Go!
1770
01:44:34,400 --> 01:44:37,100
Ricky, Ricky. He's going,
he's going, he's going. Look!
1771
01:45:14,600 --> 01:45:16,400
He did it!
1772
01:45:23,000 --> 01:45:25,100
Well, I'll be damned.
1773
01:45:26,500 --> 01:45:28,500
Good for you, Ricky Bobby.
1774
01:45:34,500 --> 01:45:36,600
Yeah! Yeah!
1775
01:45:36,800 --> 01:45:38,200
Ricky Bobby wins!
1776
01:45:38,400 --> 01:45:40,900
You'll never see anything like that
in a hundred lifetimes.
1777
01:45:41,200 --> 01:45:44,700
It was completely illegal and in no way
will count, but that was something.
1778
01:45:45,000 --> 01:45:47,400
It was. That was really good.
1779
01:45:49,900 --> 01:45:53,600
Monsieur Bobby,
by defeating me today...
1780
01:45:53,600 --> 01:45:56,200
...you have set me free.
1781
01:45:56,400 --> 01:45:58,800
And for that, I thank you.
1782
01:46:00,800 --> 01:46:04,400
I will never shake your hand, ever.
1783
01:46:06,400 --> 01:46:08,500
But I will give you this.
1784
01:46:29,800 --> 01:46:34,600
Sir, you taste of America.
1785
01:46:35,900 --> 01:46:37,800
Thank you.
1786
01:46:42,800 --> 01:46:45,900
No, once was good. Once was good.
1787
01:46:50,400 --> 01:46:53,300
Boy, that Halliburton.
Halliburton's taken off, haven't they?
1788
01:46:53,500 --> 01:46:54,800
Yeah, yeah, we're doing well.
1789
01:46:55,000 --> 01:46:57,700
Now there's some stock
I'd like to get my hands on.
1790
01:46:58,000 --> 01:47:00,000
Ladies and gentlemen,
NASCAR fans...
1791
01:47:00,200 --> 01:47:02,700
...your eyes on Talladega's
famed Victory Lane...
1792
01:47:03,000 --> 01:47:04,800
...as we get ready
for trophy time here...
1793
01:47:05,000 --> 01:47:08,200
...following an exciting running
of the Talladega 500.
1794
01:47:08,400 --> 01:47:10,600
First, a very brief explanation.
1795
01:47:10,800 --> 01:47:15,400
Because the drivers that finished
first and second got out of their cars...
1796
01:47:15,400 --> 01:47:18,000
...they have officially
been disqualified.
1797
01:47:18,200 --> 01:47:21,900
So now the winner, he was third,
he's now number one:
1798
01:47:22,600 --> 01:47:26,000
Cal Naughton Jr.!
1799
01:47:27,200 --> 01:47:28,800
Yeah, come on, guys!
1800
01:47:31,500 --> 01:47:34,500
- Give me that thing.
- Cal, you're number one!
1801
01:47:34,500 --> 01:47:37,200
I've been waiting a long time for you
to say my name, man.
1802
01:47:37,400 --> 01:47:40,400
I know it's a technicality,
but I tell you what...
1803
01:47:40,600 --> 01:47:43,900
...you try to take this away from me,
I'll sock you in the face.
1804
01:47:44,200 --> 01:47:45,900
Ricky.
1805
01:47:46,200 --> 01:47:47,800
Give me that thing.
1806
01:47:50,600 --> 01:47:53,800
I can't believe it. I can't believe it!
1807
01:47:54,400 --> 01:47:57,400
- Cal!
- Put me down.
1808
01:47:57,500 --> 01:47:59,200
I'm proud of you!
1809
01:47:59,400 --> 01:48:02,900
Get up here, man.
No, you come up here.
1810
01:48:03,200 --> 01:48:04,400
You come up here.
1811
01:48:07,700 --> 01:48:10,100
- Cal Naughton! Cal Naughton.
- Oh, my God.
1812
01:48:10,400 --> 01:48:13,200
For this to happen...
Am I dead, man?
1813
01:48:13,500 --> 01:48:15,600
You won the Talladega 500,
all right?
1814
01:48:17,200 --> 01:48:18,600
I owe you an apology.
1815
01:48:19,200 --> 01:48:21,500
- Come on.
- Man, I'm sorry about Carley.
1816
01:48:21,800 --> 01:48:24,600
She walked straight up to me
and grabbed me in the crotch.
1817
01:48:24,900 --> 01:48:28,400
- It's like a tractor beam of hotness.
- I know.
1818
01:48:29,700 --> 01:48:31,600
Shake and Bake?
1819
01:48:33,000 --> 01:48:36,200
No. Never again.
1820
01:48:38,200 --> 01:48:42,200
You're right.
I was a total dick, man.
1821
01:48:42,600 --> 01:48:44,700
From now on...
1822
01:48:46,000 --> 01:48:48,200
...it's Magic Man...
1823
01:48:48,400 --> 01:48:49,800
...and El Diablo.
1824
01:48:50,800 --> 01:48:52,500
What's "Diablo" mean?
1825
01:48:52,700 --> 01:48:54,000
It's like, you know...
1826
01:48:54,200 --> 01:48:56,400
It's like Spanish for,
like, a fighting chicken.
1827
01:48:56,500 --> 01:48:58,000
- That's awesome.
- I know.
1828
01:48:58,200 --> 01:49:01,300
- With the claws.
- With the claws and the beak.
1829
01:49:01,600 --> 01:49:02,800
Where did you think of that?
1830
01:49:03,100 --> 01:49:04,600
You just... Sometimes things click.
1831
01:49:05,400 --> 01:49:07,700
- I love you, bro.
- I love you too.
1832
01:49:09,400 --> 01:49:13,200
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, I can't believe it!
1833
01:49:14,000 --> 01:49:17,500
Excuse me, guys. Nice job.
1834
01:49:17,500 --> 01:49:19,000
Hey, Ricky.
1835
01:49:19,600 --> 01:49:20,700
Hey, Carley.
1836
01:49:21,000 --> 01:49:24,600
I've decided I can love you again.
You're a winner.
1837
01:49:25,200 --> 01:49:27,500
- Yeah, I don't think so.
- Really?
1838
01:49:27,600 --> 01:49:32,600
Are you prepared to walk away
from these pearls...
1839
01:49:33,900 --> 01:49:35,200
...of delight?
1840
01:49:39,600 --> 01:49:43,300
Well... Yeah, this is tough.
How would it work?
1841
01:49:43,600 --> 01:49:45,200
- Would Cal move out?
- Yep, gone.
1842
01:49:45,500 --> 01:49:47,400
Kids move back in?
1843
01:49:47,600 --> 01:49:50,800
- Can I just have a little refresher?
- Of course, baby.
1844
01:49:52,400 --> 01:49:54,400
This is why you fell in love,
don't forget.
1845
01:49:54,400 --> 01:49:56,800
Yeah, I'm in.
I'm moving in right now.
1846
01:49:57,000 --> 01:49:58,900
I'll drive 100 miles an hour
to your house.
1847
01:49:59,100 --> 01:50:00,800
- Our house. Our house.
- Our house, yeah.
1848
01:50:01,000 --> 01:50:03,400
No, I'm not. Come on.
It's gonna be awkward.
1849
01:50:03,400 --> 01:50:05,100
- Hey, baby.
- Hey.
1850
01:50:07,300 --> 01:50:09,000
Wait a minute.
1851
01:50:09,300 --> 01:50:12,500
You are ready to walk away...
1852
01:50:12,600 --> 01:50:16,300
...from FHM magazine's
number seven hottest ass...
1853
01:50:16,600 --> 01:50:20,300
...for the girl who forgets
to get your dry cleaning?
1854
01:50:20,600 --> 01:50:21,900
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
1855
01:50:22,300 --> 01:50:24,800
- Yeah.
- Good luck, weirdoes.
1856
01:50:25,100 --> 01:50:26,800
- Carley, come back here.
- Yes, Susie Q?
1857
01:50:27,000 --> 01:50:30,000
There's something I've wanted
to tell you for a really long time.
1858
01:50:31,300 --> 01:50:34,500
Thank you. Maybe one together?
1859
01:50:35,400 --> 01:50:38,400
- Susie Q, are those real?
- Yeah.
1860
01:50:38,600 --> 01:50:41,500
Well, girl, you got some game.
1861
01:50:43,400 --> 01:50:45,400
- We'll see you on down the road.
- Yeah.
1862
01:50:45,400 --> 01:50:47,400
- You seen Cal?
- He's somewhere around here.
1863
01:50:47,400 --> 01:50:50,500
Hey, Cal! Baby, I'm coming.
Thanks, baby.
1864
01:50:51,500 --> 01:50:54,200
- Maybe one more?
- Oh, boys.
1865
01:50:54,400 --> 01:50:55,800
- She's crazy.
- Oh, thank you.
1866
01:50:56,200 --> 01:50:57,600
- You did good.
- Thanks, Mama.
1867
01:50:57,900 --> 01:50:59,400
He's amazing.
1868
01:50:59,400 --> 01:51:01,500
That was one heck of a day,
I gotta say.
1869
01:51:01,800 --> 01:51:04,500
That's some nice driving there,
cowboy.
1870
01:51:04,800 --> 01:51:07,500
- Hey, Daddy.
- Well, hello, Reese.
1871
01:51:07,700 --> 01:51:12,400
Well, if it isn't our old
mangy, transient grandfather.
1872
01:51:12,700 --> 01:51:15,500
Well said, grandson.
Take that as a compliment.
1873
01:51:15,600 --> 01:51:18,700
Hey, Ricky,
let me ask you a question.
1874
01:51:21,700 --> 01:51:23,500
Who did you win that race for?
1875
01:51:23,600 --> 01:51:25,700
Well, I sure as hell didn't
win it for you.
1876
01:51:26,400 --> 01:51:27,800
I like hearing that.
1877
01:51:28,900 --> 01:51:31,500
I guess if I really gotta think about it...
1878
01:51:31,900 --> 01:51:34,500
...I just went out there and drove.
1879
01:51:34,800 --> 01:51:37,000
And knew that no matter
what happened...
1880
01:51:37,600 --> 01:51:43,200
...my boys, my mama,
and my lady would love me.
1881
01:51:44,500 --> 01:51:47,500
Hi, I'm his lady, I'm Susan.
1882
01:51:47,600 --> 01:51:50,400
I painted the car, I...
We had sex.
1883
01:51:50,500 --> 01:51:52,400
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
1884
01:51:52,600 --> 01:51:54,600
Well, I wish I could've
been there for that.
1885
01:51:54,800 --> 01:51:57,400
Son, I'm proud of you.
1886
01:51:58,800 --> 01:52:03,300
Yep. Yeah, I think...
I guess things are...
1887
01:52:04,400 --> 01:52:06,400
...just pretty much perfect right now.
1888
01:52:08,500 --> 01:52:10,500
It's making me a little itchy.
1889
01:52:12,300 --> 01:52:15,400
Well, what do you say
we get thrown out of an Applebee's?
1890
01:52:15,700 --> 01:52:18,100
- That sound like a good idea?
- You read my mind, son.
1891
01:52:18,400 --> 01:52:20,800
- You can cuss at Applebee's.
- Everybody pile in.
1892
01:52:21,000 --> 01:52:22,800
How does one get thrown out
of Applebee's?
1893
01:52:23,000 --> 01:52:25,400
- You're about to find out.
- Okay.
1894
01:52:25,700 --> 01:52:27,600
Watch, the doors actually open.
1895
01:52:59,000 --> 01:53:01,400
- Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby.
- And I'm Cal Naughton Jr.
1896
01:53:01,700 --> 01:53:05,000
We just want to take a moment to talk
to you about snow blindness in cats.
1897
01:53:05,300 --> 01:53:07,400
It's affecting more and more cats
every year.
1898
01:53:07,600 --> 01:53:10,300
And it scares the living shit out of us.
1899
01:53:11,500 --> 01:53:14,400
Ninety-eight percent of us will die
at some point in our lives.
1900
01:53:14,400 --> 01:53:17,500
The darkness is creeping towards you,
whether you know it or not.
1901
01:53:17,500 --> 01:53:19,200
A little planning can go a long way.
1902
01:53:19,500 --> 01:53:21,400
Listen, leaving
your big old corpse behind...
1903
01:53:21,500 --> 01:53:23,600
...for your loved ones to deal with
ain't cool.
1904
01:53:23,800 --> 01:53:26,300
That's why you should call
McCreedy Funeral Service.
1905
01:53:26,500 --> 01:53:30,300
McCreedy's.
They'll find the hole and build the box.
1906
01:53:30,600 --> 01:53:33,800
Bodies that look so good,
you're gonna wanna talk to it.
1907
01:53:37,500 --> 01:53:39,600
We like to have a lot of laughs
on the racetrack...
1908
01:53:39,800 --> 01:53:42,200
...but today we wanna talk
about something serious:
1909
01:53:42,400 --> 01:53:46,400
Packs of stray dogs that control
most of the major cities.
1910
01:53:48,600 --> 01:53:52,600
That's packs of wild, vicious dogs
that are controlling most of...
1911
01:53:52,600 --> 01:53:53,600
Sorry.
1912
01:53:54,200 --> 01:53:57,200
I like to picture Jesus
like a mischievous badger.
1913
01:53:57,500 --> 01:53:59,500
Like a muscular trapeze artist.
1914
01:53:59,700 --> 01:54:03,100
Like a shapeshifter or a changeling,
like that guy.
1915
01:54:03,300 --> 01:54:04,900
You ever hear of
that TV show Manimal?
1916
01:54:05,200 --> 01:54:08,200
I like to think of Jesus
as a figure skater...
1917
01:54:08,500 --> 01:54:10,100
...who wears, like, a white outfit...
1918
01:54:10,300 --> 01:54:13,700
...and he does interpretive ice dances
of my life's journey.
1919
01:54:14,000 --> 01:54:15,900
Like a dirty old bum.
1920
01:54:16,100 --> 01:54:19,400
He comes up to me, I'm about to sock
him one because he's a dirty old bum.
1921
01:54:19,500 --> 01:54:22,000
Then I said, "Wait a minute,
I better not sock this guy.
1922
01:54:22,200 --> 01:54:23,600
Something special about him."
1923
01:54:23,600 --> 01:54:26,000
- Yeah, and it turns out it's Jesus.
- Yeah.
1924
01:54:26,500 --> 01:54:28,400
One, two... Oh, God.
1925
01:54:28,700 --> 01:54:32,100
- Not again! No go. No go!
- It's stuck. It's stuck.
1926
01:54:32,600 --> 01:54:34,200
We got two knives in my leg.
1927
01:54:34,500 --> 01:54:37,700
I know, but one is a safety knife.
One is a safety.
1928
01:54:40,000 --> 01:54:41,600
It's coming out.
It's coming out.
1929
01:54:41,600 --> 01:54:43,100
I'm choking on my own spit.
1930
01:54:43,400 --> 01:54:45,800
It hurts so bad
I'm choking on my own spit.
1931
01:54:46,200 --> 01:54:48,400
Good night, guys.
I'm losing a lot of blood.
1932
01:54:48,600 --> 01:54:50,400
- Just relax, man.
- Good night.
1933
01:54:50,600 --> 01:54:53,300
Ricky! Wake...
1934
01:54:54,900 --> 01:54:59,900
Sometimes, when it's late at night,
I dress up like Donna Summers.
1935
01:55:00,200 --> 01:55:04,700
You know, I put on the skirt
and the four-inch heels, man.
1936
01:55:05,000 --> 01:55:06,400
I love it.
1937
01:55:16,100 --> 01:55:17,900
Sorry. Sorry.
1938
01:55:19,500 --> 01:55:22,800
I would be honored if you would
let me sign your cast.
1939
01:55:23,000 --> 01:55:25,400
And I would be honored
if you'd sign my balls.
1940
01:55:25,700 --> 01:55:28,200
- Oh, baby, that is a good one.
- Hey, what are you doing?
1941
02:00:45,600 --> 02:00:49,000
"Don't touch a one of them.
They're mine."
1942
02:00:51,600 --> 02:00:54,500
So, what do you think
that story was about?
1943
02:00:54,800 --> 02:00:57,500
Doesn't the bear symbolize
the old South...
1944
02:00:57,800 --> 02:01:01,800
...and the new dog, the encroaching
industrialization of the North?
1945
02:01:02,100 --> 02:01:07,000
Duh. But the question is, should
the reader feel relief or sadness...
1946
02:01:07,200 --> 02:01:08,800
...at the passing of the old South?
1947
02:01:09,000 --> 02:01:10,600
Well, how about both?
1948
02:01:10,800 --> 02:01:13,800
Oh, I get it. Moral ambiguity.
1949
02:01:14,100 --> 02:01:18,500
The hallmark of all early
20th-century American fiction.
1950
02:01:18,500 --> 02:01:21,600
- Great analysis, Walker.
- Thank you.
161723
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