All language subtitles for American.Pie.2.2001.720p.Br.x264.YIFY-English

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,271 - Sure you don't wanna go to my room? - No. Why? 2 00:01:12,354 --> 00:01:15,023 My roommate's already moved out. We'll be all alone. 3 00:01:15,107 --> 00:01:16,691 - all right. - The door is locked. 4 00:01:16,775 --> 00:01:18,653 - Okay, Jim, relax. Relax. - Okay, yeah, sure. 5 00:01:18,736 --> 00:01:21,863 No strings attached, okay? lt's just friendly goodbye sex. 6 00:01:21,946 --> 00:01:24,450 Yeah, right. Right, right, right, right. 7 00:01:25,535 --> 00:01:28,078 But you see, it's just that... 8 00:01:28,161 --> 00:01:31,082 we've never even had friendly hello sex. 9 00:01:31,165 --> 00:01:34,794 - So do you not wanna do this? - Oh, no, no, no. 10 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,467 Oh, I do. Yeah. No, I definitely do. 11 00:01:39,256 --> 00:01:41,133 It's just that... 12 00:01:41,218 --> 00:01:43,554 you see, this is actually my first time. 13 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,723 Well, not my first. It's my first time... 14 00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:49,353 since my first time. 15 00:01:50,437 --> 00:01:52,605 So, technically, that's my second time. 16 00:01:52,689 --> 00:01:55,859 And I don't... I don't wanna suck at it. 17 00:01:55,943 --> 00:01:58,361 So if I'm not up to par, performance-wise... 18 00:01:58,987 --> 00:02:02,116 Jim, this isn't exactly a turn-on. 19 00:02:02,198 --> 00:02:04,910 I mean, girls like a guy with confidence. 20 00:02:06,329 --> 00:02:07,622 Hey, I'm confident. 21 00:02:07,705 --> 00:02:11,877 Oh, I am... I'm absolutely, totally confident. 22 00:02:13,337 --> 00:02:15,130 - Let's get naked. - Okay. 23 00:02:18,132 --> 00:02:21,762 Seems like just yesterday my dad picked me up after my first year at college. 24 00:02:22,931 --> 00:02:24,974 We popped a couple of beers... 25 00:02:25,058 --> 00:02:27,393 and he said, ''Now, you're a man.'' 26 00:02:27,476 --> 00:02:29,813 And today I get to say the same thing to my son. 27 00:02:29,896 --> 00:02:31,982 Honey, your speeches embarrass him. 28 00:02:32,066 --> 00:02:35,237 So, try and do what the kids say, and just be cool. 29 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,947 I think I bring new meaning to the word ''cool,'' honey. 30 00:02:39,030 --> 00:02:40,699 That's his dormitory up ahead. 31 00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:58,135 Turn over. 32 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,064 - Can't bring alcohol in the dorms. - Good. 33 00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:12,276 Thank you, Matt. I'm just here to surprise my son Jim. 34 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,487 - Now pin my leg up. - What? 35 00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:17,072 Pin my leg up, like this. 36 00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:22,913 Maybe you can help me out, you know. 37 00:03:26,875 --> 00:03:28,461 Is that the one? No. 38 00:03:28,544 --> 00:03:29,461 There! 39 00:03:33,592 --> 00:03:34,927 Now I remember. 40 00:03:37,135 --> 00:03:39,471 I didn't do this for you. 41 00:03:39,555 --> 00:03:41,141 Thanks, dude. 42 00:03:42,684 --> 00:03:45,312 - Where's my big guy? - Oh, my God! 43 00:03:50,108 --> 00:03:52,696 - Jesus! - Jim, we got here a little early. 44 00:03:52,779 --> 00:03:54,948 - Dad, get out! - I'll wait in the car. 45 00:03:55,033 --> 00:03:56,533 Go, Dad! Oh, my... 46 00:03:58,201 --> 00:03:59,660 - Jeez! - Was that your dad? 47 00:03:59,953 --> 00:04:02,163 - I'm so sorry. - For your own edification... 48 00:04:02,247 --> 00:04:03,623 son, I'm not embarrassed. 49 00:04:03,706 --> 00:04:04,750 I am! 50 00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:08,880 It's a perfectly normal thing for two human beings to do. 51 00:04:08,963 --> 00:04:11,048 This is human nature... human nature at its best. 52 00:04:11,131 --> 00:04:15,344 Son, everybody does it. Your mother and I... Well, not so much any more. 53 00:04:15,427 --> 00:04:17,806 Got your favourite. Oh, my God! They're fucking! 54 00:04:17,889 --> 00:04:21,101 Honey, honey, listen. I'm gonna take her... 55 00:04:21,185 --> 00:04:23,895 - Please just go! - Actually, if you wouldn't mind. 56 00:04:23,979 --> 00:04:26,399 Honey... I'll take her to the car. 57 00:04:28,484 --> 00:04:30,195 - Hi, Mama. - What? 58 00:04:30,278 --> 00:04:31,530 Natalie! 59 00:04:31,614 --> 00:04:33,032 I'm Jim's dad. 60 00:04:33,116 --> 00:04:34,698 You must be the parents of this young lady. 61 00:04:35,198 --> 00:04:38,036 I'm sorry I didn't get her name, but hopefully my son did... 62 00:04:38,454 --> 00:04:40,039 because I have not been here the whole time. 63 00:04:40,123 --> 00:04:42,333 Natalie, get dressed! 64 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,087 - Beer? - Avert your eyes! Turn around! 65 00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:47,254 - Thanks, Jim. Don't believe in locks? - Oh, my God! 66 00:05:07,694 --> 00:05:08,987 Hey, fuckface. 67 00:05:09,070 --> 00:05:12,948 - Mornin', dude. - Come on, Ozzy. It's show time. 68 00:05:15,869 --> 00:05:18,331 Before you go to Ann Arbor to pick up Heather... 69 00:05:18,415 --> 00:05:20,375 I wanna show you what you're missing. 70 00:05:22,126 --> 00:05:24,838 See what they are today, dude. See what they are today. 71 00:05:24,921 --> 00:05:27,174 Okay, here we go. Moment of truth. 72 00:05:31,304 --> 00:05:33,972 - There's little hearts on her panties! - Super. 73 00:05:34,055 --> 00:05:36,892 There's little hearts on her panties! Come on, look, you pussy. Look. 74 00:05:36,976 --> 00:05:39,394 What the fuck, man? Come on! 75 00:05:39,479 --> 00:05:40,981 I'm disappointed in you. 76 00:05:41,064 --> 00:05:43,985 Here it is, the end of our freshman year and you screwed one girl. 77 00:05:44,068 --> 00:05:46,152 One. 78 00:05:46,235 --> 00:05:48,154 You're a disgrace to men everywhere. 79 00:05:48,238 --> 00:05:51,243 Look at the Stifmeister. I got laid 23 times this year... 80 00:05:51,326 --> 00:05:54,703 and I'm not counting the hummer I got in the library stacks, baby. 81 00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:57,498 All right, here's a new idea for you, Stifler, okay? 82 00:05:57,582 --> 00:05:59,750 You find a girl. You two become best friends. 83 00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:02,713 You don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other. 84 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:06,425 - You laugh at the people who do count. - Here's a new idea for you. 85 00:06:06,509 --> 00:06:08,928 I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass. 86 00:06:13,390 --> 00:06:16,102 I'm never even gonna think about political science again. 87 00:06:16,185 --> 00:06:18,187 Hey. How'd you do? 88 00:06:18,271 --> 00:06:20,398 - Fine. - Yeah? 89 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:24,195 Can't believe I'm going abroad for summer. Last thing I need is more classes. 90 00:06:24,278 --> 00:06:27,198 - You're gonna have a great time. - Hello, summer! 91 00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:31,201 - Did that exam blow or what? - Yeah, it sucked. 92 00:06:32,285 --> 00:06:34,163 - Kev, what's up, man? How are you? - Good. 93 00:06:34,246 --> 00:06:36,416 Put your party hat on. 94 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,960 - We got 12 weeks of immortality ahead. - Yes, sir! 95 00:06:47,846 --> 00:06:49,389 Weird. 96 00:07:05,906 --> 00:07:08,743 The one that got away, huh, son? 97 00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:17,918 Well, evidently you two... 98 00:07:18,003 --> 00:07:20,589 made quite the handsome couple on the Internet. 99 00:07:23,592 --> 00:07:25,094 I didn't see it. 100 00:07:25,177 --> 00:07:28,683 It was brought up at a PTA meeting. 101 00:07:28,766 --> 00:07:31,642 Anyway, my point is... 102 00:07:31,725 --> 00:07:34,562 these little sexual debacles should not get you down... 103 00:07:34,646 --> 00:07:36,314 because you know what? 104 00:07:36,398 --> 00:07:38,150 It happens to the best of us. 105 00:07:38,234 --> 00:07:40,486 In fact... 106 00:07:40,570 --> 00:07:43,531 the first time your mother and I... 107 00:07:43,614 --> 00:07:45,283 got together... 108 00:07:45,366 --> 00:07:46,618 I used a condom. 109 00:07:46,702 --> 00:07:50,622 Well, she referred to it as ''shrink wrapping.'' 110 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,918 But I got over it. 111 00:07:55,002 --> 00:07:57,212 Anyway, keep your chin up. You keep plugging... 112 00:07:57,295 --> 00:07:59,840 and good things will happen. 113 00:07:59,925 --> 00:08:02,469 Good to have you home, son. 114 00:08:06,348 --> 00:08:08,933 It's good to be home, Dad. 115 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,854 It's gonna be nice to hit Stifler's tonight after exams. 116 00:08:11,937 --> 00:08:15,190 - Did you get through 'em? - There's the mystery man! 117 00:08:15,274 --> 00:08:16,942 Finch, how are you? 118 00:08:23,742 --> 00:08:25,160 It's Japanese. 119 00:08:25,244 --> 00:08:28,495 It means ''hello.'' Hello. 120 00:08:28,578 --> 00:08:33,127 - Finch, what happened to Latin? - Met a Japanese girl at the art museum. 121 00:08:33,210 --> 00:08:35,254 Changed majors. 122 00:08:35,337 --> 00:08:37,507 Wanted to understand the things she was moaning. 123 00:08:37,591 --> 00:08:40,427 - You got laid in an art museum? - The Met. 124 00:08:40,510 --> 00:08:43,972 - And the Guggenheim with Francesca. - The Guggenheim? 125 00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:47,099 And then my social-psych professor in Baskin-Robbins. 126 00:08:47,183 --> 00:08:48,685 All right, enough. 127 00:08:48,768 --> 00:08:52,690 But I'll tell you, none of these women even compare to... 128 00:08:52,773 --> 00:08:54,274 Stifler's mom. 129 00:08:55,693 --> 00:08:57,862 Stifler's mom is a goddess. 130 00:09:02,825 --> 00:09:05,746 How about some more of Stifmeister's collegiate concoction? 131 00:09:05,829 --> 00:09:09,583 This thing is like half alcohol. You're just trying to get me drunk. 132 00:09:10,543 --> 00:09:13,087 Mary, would I do that? 133 00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:17,717 - My name's Christy. - Christy, right. Beautiful name. 134 00:09:17,801 --> 00:09:19,261 Like it matters. 135 00:09:19,345 --> 00:09:21,304 Hey, how you doing? 136 00:09:21,388 --> 00:09:23,558 Howdy-howdy, fuckin' partners! 137 00:09:23,641 --> 00:09:26,100 Johnny C., how's it going? Good to see you. 138 00:09:27,185 --> 00:09:29,313 Looks like someone gained the freshman 15. 139 00:09:29,396 --> 00:09:31,399 - This'll help. - You're an asshole. 140 00:09:31,482 --> 00:09:32,733 Missed you too. 141 00:09:32,816 --> 00:09:36,697 All right, everybody having a good time? Ladies? 142 00:09:37,823 --> 00:09:40,158 Fellas! How's it going? 143 00:09:40,241 --> 00:09:42,786 The keg's back there as always. Enjoy. 144 00:09:42,871 --> 00:09:48,125 Ladies, I'm Steve Stifler and I have an 11 -inch penis... 145 00:09:48,209 --> 00:09:50,336 around! 146 00:09:50,419 --> 00:09:53,672 Think about it. Sherman! 147 00:09:53,756 --> 00:09:56,843 Okay, Stifler, take your shot. Ha, ha. 148 00:09:56,928 --> 00:09:59,931 Come on, man. I'm really happy to see you. 149 00:10:01,139 --> 00:10:02,516 All right. 150 00:10:02,599 --> 00:10:04,436 You stupid fuck! 151 00:10:06,227 --> 00:10:09,044 Back at Stifler's. It's just like old times. 152 00:10:09,128 --> 00:10:12,131 One difference. We're college men now. 153 00:10:12,214 --> 00:10:14,633 Some of these girls are from the grade below us. 154 00:10:14,717 --> 00:10:16,886 I might actually have a chance. 155 00:10:17,846 --> 00:10:19,848 Hey, I remember you. 156 00:10:22,268 --> 00:10:23,728 Do you now? 157 00:10:23,812 --> 00:10:26,396 You're that guy who blew his load on the Internet. 158 00:10:28,231 --> 00:10:31,151 Splat. ''Oh, wait, Nadia, don't go.'' Splat. 159 00:10:32,987 --> 00:10:34,698 - Pathetic. - Loser. 160 00:10:35,324 --> 00:10:37,367 It's exactly like old times. 161 00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:42,832 - I'm gonna miss you. - I'll miss you. 162 00:10:44,832 --> 00:10:46,919 I'll call you when I get in, okay? 163 00:10:47,003 --> 00:10:48,337 Go have fun. 164 00:10:49,422 --> 00:10:50,840 Bye. 165 00:11:03,645 --> 00:11:05,522 I can't believe those two girls, Kevin. 166 00:11:05,606 --> 00:11:07,525 Jim, it's not a big deal. 167 00:11:07,608 --> 00:11:10,028 They toyed with my emotions. 168 00:11:11,194 --> 00:11:13,281 - Hello. Hello. - See? There's other girls. 169 00:11:13,364 --> 00:11:17,244 - How are you? - You got nothing to worry about, man. 170 00:11:17,327 --> 00:11:19,329 Jessica's here. 171 00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:21,917 With Vicky. 172 00:11:22,585 --> 00:11:26,879 And Vicky got hot! 173 00:11:26,962 --> 00:11:29,549 What's that supposed to mean? 174 00:11:29,632 --> 00:11:30,884 Look at her. 175 00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:34,554 - Yeah, Jim, I see her. - Hey, Kevin. 176 00:11:35,597 --> 00:11:37,474 I'll be right back. 177 00:11:40,187 --> 00:11:42,813 - Hey, Vic, how are you? - What's up? 178 00:11:42,896 --> 00:11:44,857 - I'm okay. - Yeah, I'm good. 179 00:11:44,941 --> 00:11:45,984 That's good. 180 00:11:46,067 --> 00:11:48,278 - It's good to hear. - Yeah, you too. 181 00:11:49,570 --> 00:11:51,155 Wow. 182 00:11:51,239 --> 00:11:54,035 Well, this is about as comfortable as a high colonic in Tijuana. 183 00:11:54,118 --> 00:11:57,163 And I would know. Okay. 184 00:11:57,247 --> 00:12:00,166 - I'm gonna get a drink. - She's right. 185 00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:03,669 - Why is this so weird? - Actually, I have no idea. 186 00:12:03,752 --> 00:12:07,173 See, I knew it. I knew you'd be mature about this. 187 00:12:07,257 --> 00:12:09,426 You know, and we could still be friends, right? 188 00:12:10,510 --> 00:12:12,429 I miss you, Kev. 189 00:12:15,891 --> 00:12:17,018 Whoa. 190 00:12:18,603 --> 00:12:21,190 Friends, right? 191 00:12:21,271 --> 00:12:25,819 Yeah, right. I mean, I know you said friends and I... I just... 192 00:12:26,695 --> 00:12:29,280 I'm sorry. I was... It was just... 193 00:12:29,364 --> 00:12:32,201 an old habit... a friend kiss. 194 00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:33,744 Are you sure? 195 00:12:33,828 --> 00:12:36,538 Vic, why wouldn't I wanna be friends with you? 196 00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:40,044 Look, we'll... we'll just do this, okay? 197 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,004 - Friends. - Friends. 198 00:12:51,117 --> 00:12:53,371 Stifler's mom's room. 199 00:13:08,552 --> 00:13:11,181 How did you do that magic you did? 200 00:13:29,702 --> 00:13:31,287 Tantra. 201 00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:38,379 What the fuck are you doin' in here? 202 00:13:39,005 --> 00:13:41,214 - Just relax. - You get out of my house! 203 00:13:41,297 --> 00:13:43,799 - Jesus Christ! - Come back here, you little fucker! 204 00:13:43,882 --> 00:13:46,052 Come back here, you son of a bitch! 205 00:13:47,137 --> 00:13:49,473 Easy! That's enough. 206 00:13:49,556 --> 00:13:52,268 Okay, guys, we went through this last summer, all right? 207 00:13:52,351 --> 00:13:54,646 Finch got a black eye and Stifler got six stitches. 208 00:13:54,728 --> 00:13:56,105 'Cause he fuckin' bit me! 209 00:13:56,188 --> 00:13:57,649 You touch me, I bite. 210 00:13:57,733 --> 00:14:01,027 - You two relax and shake hands. - Shake this. 211 00:14:05,032 --> 00:14:06,449 I need a drink. 212 00:14:06,532 --> 00:14:09,495 Why is everybody taking a piss right now? 213 00:14:09,578 --> 00:14:13,207 - Line's too long. I ain't gonna make it. - You'll be okay. Relax. 214 00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:16,837 Hey, bro. Hey, man, you're the guy who boned Stifler's mom. 215 00:14:16,921 --> 00:14:19,880 - Hey, you are a god. - Holy shit, dude. 216 00:14:19,963 --> 00:14:23,802 If I didn't have to hold my dick 'cause I gotta piss, I would shake your hand. 217 00:14:23,885 --> 00:14:26,346 - I'm honoured, guys. - Don't leave. 218 00:14:26,429 --> 00:14:29,183 You must teach me. How? 219 00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:30,142 How? 220 00:14:31,935 --> 00:14:34,063 Look what I found, Christy. 221 00:14:35,148 --> 00:14:36,817 What a coincidence. 222 00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:43,908 I've been saving this for a special occasion... 223 00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:47,285 for a special girl, just like you. 224 00:14:48,246 --> 00:14:50,790 - You're so sweet. - That's what they say. 225 00:14:50,873 --> 00:14:52,292 Weird. 226 00:14:53,376 --> 00:14:55,671 - Oh, my God. - I spilled some on you. 227 00:14:55,754 --> 00:14:58,005 - Maybe I should mop that up. - Thanks. 228 00:14:58,088 --> 00:14:59,382 No problem. 229 00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:01,135 Whoa! Whoa, hey. 230 00:15:01,218 --> 00:15:04,388 - Take it slow. Come on. - Right. 231 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,808 You know, they warn us about these situations in college. 232 00:15:08,602 --> 00:15:12,898 Now, you may be intoxicated. 233 00:15:12,981 --> 00:15:14,942 Oh, yeah. 234 00:15:15,026 --> 00:15:17,777 Are you certain that you wish to engage in consenting... 235 00:15:17,860 --> 00:15:20,405 Hey, don't count your chickens, buster. 236 00:15:20,489 --> 00:15:24,701 - I'm just playing by the rules, baby. - I make the rules. 237 00:15:24,786 --> 00:15:27,038 That's a pretty good fucking rule. 238 00:15:31,835 --> 00:15:34,589 Dude, the line's too long. I'll never make it. 239 00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,589 It's gotta happen now. Get my back. 240 00:15:44,098 --> 00:15:46,017 - Clamp it off. - Hello. 241 00:15:47,435 --> 00:15:49,771 - How are you? - Awesome. 242 00:15:50,981 --> 00:15:52,900 - How are you? - I'm really good. 243 00:15:52,983 --> 00:15:56,445 How 'bout I give you a little champagne? 244 00:15:56,528 --> 00:15:58,405 Go downstairs and get us some beers? 245 00:15:58,656 --> 00:16:01,827 I've got a surprise for you. Close your eyes and get ready. 246 00:16:01,909 --> 00:16:03,535 I'm ready. 247 00:16:05,705 --> 00:16:08,209 - You want a beer? - Yeah, all right. 248 00:16:12,588 --> 00:16:14,048 Okay, go. 249 00:16:17,217 --> 00:16:19,887 This is kind of kinky, and I like that. 250 00:16:25,477 --> 00:16:28,271 That's it. Bathe the Stifmeister. 251 00:16:31,901 --> 00:16:33,653 Oh, that's great! 252 00:16:33,737 --> 00:16:35,904 That's great. 253 00:16:35,987 --> 00:16:38,032 How did you get it so nice and warm? 254 00:16:42,078 --> 00:16:44,164 I can taste the bubbles. 255 00:16:47,334 --> 00:16:48,586 Actually, I can't. 256 00:16:54,048 --> 00:16:55,759 Much better. 257 00:16:58,763 --> 00:17:00,015 Wait a second. 258 00:17:00,099 --> 00:17:02,892 - Let's go. - Thanks, man. 259 00:17:05,103 --> 00:17:06,771 Christy? 260 00:17:08,983 --> 00:17:10,986 Oh, fuck! 261 00:17:13,051 --> 00:17:14,717 Okay, now... 262 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,262 do these high school kids think we're cool... 263 00:17:17,345 --> 00:17:19,390 because they're at a college party... 264 00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:22,643 or are we those weird older guys... 265 00:17:22,727 --> 00:17:25,272 that try to hang out with high school kids when we come home? 266 00:17:25,355 --> 00:17:28,525 No way. We're definitely not those guys. 267 00:17:28,608 --> 00:17:29,985 Cops! Cops! 268 00:17:31,446 --> 00:17:33,155 Break it up. Party's over. 269 00:17:33,947 --> 00:17:35,283 Let's go. 270 00:17:35,366 --> 00:17:37,576 Ostreicher, Myers. 271 00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:39,328 Welcome back. 272 00:17:39,411 --> 00:17:41,622 Where's Steve Stifler? 273 00:17:47,796 --> 00:17:49,757 I got peed on. 274 00:17:51,175 --> 00:17:54,052 No, man, Stifler's got shut down. 275 00:17:54,135 --> 00:17:56,973 We can't party anywhere any more. 276 00:17:57,056 --> 00:17:59,518 And things are... 277 00:17:59,601 --> 00:18:02,895 - Getting weird? - Yeah, a little bit. 278 00:18:02,979 --> 00:18:05,398 First summer back from college. 279 00:18:05,482 --> 00:18:08,277 Yep, things are gonna get weirder. 280 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:11,737 - What are you talkin' about? - Well, times change, people change. 281 00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:13,740 lt's just what happens, you now. 282 00:18:13,824 --> 00:18:17,412 Kev, listen. Go into my old room. 283 00:18:17,495 --> 00:18:21,083 My friends and I knew that it was up to us to stick together. 284 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:24,919 You remember my first college summer? We rented the lake house in Grand Harbour. 285 00:18:25,002 --> 00:18:28,132 We treated every day out there lie it was a post-prom party. 286 00:18:28,215 --> 00:18:31,094 Hell of a time. We capped it all off with a massive blow-out. 287 00:18:31,175 --> 00:18:33,262 Best ever. it was legendary. 288 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,682 My advice is do that. By the end of the summer... 289 00:18:35,765 --> 00:18:38,642 you're gonna see the big picture. 290 00:18:53,576 --> 00:18:57,080 - She's on the phone. It's long-distance. - Who? 291 00:18:57,164 --> 00:18:58,789 - Nadia! Nadia! - What? 292 00:18:58,873 --> 00:19:02,586 New York. Hello. Yes, dear, he's right here. 293 00:19:02,669 --> 00:19:04,713 - Here. Wait. - Now remember... 294 00:19:04,796 --> 00:19:07,968 Yes, I am sure to go see the Lion King. 295 00:19:08,052 --> 00:19:11,136 Right. and don't ride the subway after midnight. 296 00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:14,974 I know they've done wonderful things with that city, but, you know, for me... 297 00:19:15,058 --> 00:19:18,186 - Dad! - He's right... Hang on. 298 00:19:23,442 --> 00:19:26,446 - How was college? - College was excellent. 299 00:19:26,530 --> 00:19:29,491 Yeah. Yeah, it was... it was really excellent. 300 00:19:29,573 --> 00:19:32,201 You have not forgotten about me, have you? 301 00:19:32,286 --> 00:19:35,622 No. I... Absolutely not. 302 00:19:35,706 --> 00:19:39,001 - l definitely didn't. - Good, because guess what. 303 00:19:39,085 --> 00:19:41,296 I'm coming to see you at the end of summer. 304 00:19:41,379 --> 00:19:43,923 l hope you're ready for me... 305 00:19:44,007 --> 00:19:48,637 because l have not forgotten about you either, you sexy boy. 306 00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:51,347 - Shit. - Jim, you can eat hot dogs tomorrow. 307 00:19:51,431 --> 00:19:54,810 No, Finch, it's not the hot dogs. 308 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,811 Nadia called me this morning. 309 00:19:56,894 --> 00:20:00,065 She's coming here at the end of the summer and she wants to see me. 310 00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:03,319 - That's killer. - Yeah, that's a good thing. 311 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:06,281 No, not ''good thing.'' Not ''killer.'' 312 00:20:06,365 --> 00:20:08,490 I'll never be able to do it. 313 00:20:08,573 --> 00:20:12,453 Nadia is gonna be expecting filet mignon. 314 00:20:12,537 --> 00:20:17,042 Okay, and all I'm gonna be able to give her... 315 00:20:17,126 --> 00:20:18,712 is rump roast. 316 00:20:20,463 --> 00:20:22,298 Come on. 317 00:20:22,381 --> 00:20:24,843 Jim, you've had experience since Nadia. 318 00:20:24,926 --> 00:20:26,846 Ah, yes, you would be referring to... 319 00:20:26,929 --> 00:20:30,306 the flute-fetish band geek that made me her bitch, then ditched me after prom. 320 00:20:30,391 --> 00:20:32,476 Yes, that's great experience. 321 00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:36,062 You just gotta find the right girl, Jimbo. 322 00:20:36,146 --> 00:20:38,149 - Brings it all together. - I had the right woman. 323 00:20:38,233 --> 00:20:42,321 She just sells her cottage and takes off to parts unknown. 324 00:20:43,364 --> 00:20:45,991 My romantic life has passed its peak. 325 00:20:46,074 --> 00:20:48,243 Take me out to the pasture and shoot me. 326 00:20:48,326 --> 00:20:53,040 Super start to a super summer, fellas. Welcome home. 327 00:20:54,750 --> 00:20:58,505 Guys, I got it. Pack your bags. 328 00:20:58,588 --> 00:20:59,840 For what? 329 00:20:59,924 --> 00:21:02,008 We're moving to the lake. 330 00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:08,473 We're gonna be the shit. Everybody on the beach is gonna know us. 331 00:21:08,556 --> 00:21:11,268 Plenty of opportunities to practise for Nadia. 332 00:21:11,351 --> 00:21:14,606 Throw a huge party at the end of the summer to cap it all off. 333 00:21:14,689 --> 00:21:18,319 Dude, that's a great idea. That way we'll be able to welcome Heather back... 334 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:21,446 and we'll be able to prepare for Nadia's big arrival. 335 00:21:21,529 --> 00:21:25,159 This is it. This is my summer of love. 336 00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,452 Just thought I'd say goodbye to you animals. 337 00:21:27,535 --> 00:21:29,789 Hey, Mr Levenstein. How are you, sir? 338 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:34,126 - All packed up, I see. - We're all set, Dad. 339 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:36,713 Don't worry, okay? I'll be fine. 340 00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:38,758 Come on and give your old man a hug. 341 00:21:50,478 --> 00:21:52,064 Keep it real, homies. 342 00:21:52,147 --> 00:21:54,356 You too, sir. Have a good summer. 343 00:21:55,399 --> 00:21:57,653 All right, let's go. 344 00:21:57,736 --> 00:21:59,571 I've been running these numbers here... 345 00:21:59,654 --> 00:22:02,199 and I don't think the four of us can afford this place. 346 00:22:02,284 --> 00:22:06,035 - Not on summer jobs. - Well, I kinda thought of that. 347 00:22:06,703 --> 00:22:10,249 So, I invited someone else. 348 00:22:12,544 --> 00:22:16,465 Oh, yeah! The Stifmeister's coming back to Grand Harbour! 349 00:22:16,549 --> 00:22:19,050 Deck the halls! Bye-bye, Great Falls! 350 00:22:19,134 --> 00:22:21,387 Wipe my ass and lick my balls! 351 00:22:21,471 --> 00:22:23,766 It's Stifler time, baby! 352 00:22:37,863 --> 00:22:42,410 Stifler, if you're gonna be living with us, you gotta behave yourself. 353 00:22:42,494 --> 00:22:46,372 All right, you and Finch just stay out of each other's way. 354 00:22:46,455 --> 00:22:49,209 Kevin, Stifler's stench is unavoidable. 355 00:22:49,293 --> 00:22:51,377 Finch, fist yourself. 356 00:22:53,547 --> 00:22:55,632 That's right, baby. We're here. 357 00:22:56,301 --> 00:22:58,428 Yeah, baby, we're here! 358 00:23:25,707 --> 00:23:28,585 - It's a palace. - It's a temple. 359 00:23:31,505 --> 00:23:33,424 Isn't this great? 360 00:23:34,509 --> 00:23:36,260 Are you kidding me? 361 00:23:52,570 --> 00:23:54,197 This just won't do. 362 00:24:27,942 --> 00:24:29,401 Guys. 363 00:24:31,863 --> 00:24:34,616 Check this out. This is it. 364 00:24:45,879 --> 00:24:48,506 Will you idiots tell me what this fucker's doin'? 365 00:24:55,305 --> 00:24:57,016 Don't touch me while I'm tantric. 366 00:24:57,099 --> 00:25:00,601 ''Tantric?'' What the fuck is tantric? 367 00:25:00,684 --> 00:25:02,353 It's a Buddhist discipline. 368 00:25:02,437 --> 00:25:07,109 You learn to channel your body's energies... your chakras. 369 00:25:07,193 --> 00:25:11,073 When you can do that, you can have sex for hours, even days. 370 00:25:11,156 --> 00:25:12,700 And this stuff's for real? 371 00:25:12,783 --> 00:25:15,201 It's been around for centuries. 372 00:25:15,285 --> 00:25:17,663 With tantra you can make an entire session of sex... 373 00:25:17,746 --> 00:25:20,665 feel like one giant orgasm. 374 00:25:20,750 --> 00:25:24,587 Eventually, you can sustain that feeling by meditating. 375 00:25:24,670 --> 00:25:27,923 - Maybe you can teach me sometime? - Very doubtful. 376 00:25:28,007 --> 00:25:30,218 - True. - Come on, Jim. 377 00:25:30,301 --> 00:25:33,556 - You can't possibly be that bad. - Oh, no? 378 00:25:33,639 --> 00:25:35,850 No way. 379 00:25:35,933 --> 00:25:39,728 I guess there's only one person that really knows for sure, huh? 380 00:25:39,811 --> 00:25:42,398 Oh, yeah? Where is she this summer? 381 00:25:56,290 --> 00:25:59,582 Hey, are you here for the mid-session performance? 382 00:25:59,665 --> 00:26:01,793 Guests go in the amphitheatre. You can't be here. 383 00:26:01,877 --> 00:26:03,838 Do you know where I could find Michele Flaherty? 384 00:26:03,921 --> 00:26:06,925 Guests bring food. Food attracts animals. This one time... 385 00:26:07,008 --> 00:26:09,387 a bear came, and then the bear had to be destroyed... 386 00:26:09,471 --> 00:26:12,389 which means they shot it in the head with a rifle and killed it and it died. 387 00:26:13,140 --> 00:26:15,059 You must know Michele. 388 00:26:15,142 --> 00:26:17,312 One, two, three, four. 389 00:26:35,623 --> 00:26:37,459 That's a lot of flutes. 390 00:26:42,130 --> 00:26:44,217 Good luck. Thanks. 391 00:26:44,299 --> 00:26:47,010 Good job. Have fun at your next class. 392 00:26:53,184 --> 00:26:55,104 Jim. Holy potatoes! 393 00:26:55,938 --> 00:26:58,397 You're really here? 394 00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,607 Oh, shoot! 395 00:26:59,691 --> 00:27:01,776 We're not supposed to have visitors... 396 00:27:02,528 --> 00:27:05,113 'cause this one time, here... 397 00:27:05,531 --> 00:27:07,409 this kid had these cookies... 398 00:27:07,492 --> 00:27:10,285 Let me guess. A bear came. 399 00:27:10,369 --> 00:27:11,454 Cool. 400 00:27:11,537 --> 00:27:13,790 It's like you know all our stories. 401 00:27:15,710 --> 00:27:17,669 Was that a question? 402 00:27:17,753 --> 00:27:19,796 I don't know. Maybe. 403 00:27:19,881 --> 00:27:22,132 Do you wanna answer it anyway? 404 00:27:23,466 --> 00:27:27,973 I left you like... like three messages after prom. 405 00:27:28,056 --> 00:27:29,349 Really? 406 00:27:29,432 --> 00:27:32,185 You didn't think I was weird... 407 00:27:32,269 --> 00:27:34,771 because of the way I acted that night? 408 00:27:34,855 --> 00:27:37,523 Weird, no. 409 00:27:37,607 --> 00:27:39,694 Surprising, yes. 410 00:27:39,777 --> 00:27:42,155 I get nasty when I'm horny. 411 00:27:42,239 --> 00:27:44,739 That's kind of why I'm here. 412 00:27:46,284 --> 00:27:49,704 You remember, was I any good that night? 413 00:27:49,787 --> 00:27:52,833 Wow.Jeez. 414 00:27:52,917 --> 00:27:54,669 How could I forget? 415 00:27:54,752 --> 00:27:58,630 You sucked. You didn't know what the hell you were doing. 416 00:27:58,713 --> 00:28:02,301 But wasn't it fun even though you were so terrible? 417 00:28:02,384 --> 00:28:05,305 - I'm sorry. ''Terrible?'' - I've had worse. 418 00:28:07,975 --> 00:28:09,100 Sorry. 419 00:28:09,183 --> 00:28:12,396 I could give you some pointers if you want. 420 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:13,815 Really? 421 00:28:15,606 --> 00:28:19,319 Shoot. Okay, wait here. I'll meet you in an hour, okay? 422 00:28:19,402 --> 00:28:21,280 - Yeah. - Wait. 423 00:28:21,364 --> 00:28:23,491 Cool idea. 424 00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:34,961 What are you doing? 425 00:28:37,464 --> 00:28:40,594 You're all right. Here we go. You know you're not supposed to be here now. 426 00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:44,598 Everyone's supposed to be in the amphitheatre. All right, come on. 427 00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:47,100 It's piss-poor to be this late. I'm very angry right now. 428 00:28:47,184 --> 00:28:50,104 You can tell by the tone of my voice I'm angry. I'm pissed off. 429 00:28:50,187 --> 00:28:52,441 Here they are. Got him home. 430 00:28:52,524 --> 00:28:54,523 Wait a minute. Are you Petey? 431 00:28:56,318 --> 00:28:57,695 Yeah, sure. 432 00:28:57,779 --> 00:29:00,240 Petey! Well, that explains everything. 433 00:29:00,324 --> 00:29:02,951 All right. Well, always something with these kids. Go! 434 00:29:03,034 --> 00:29:07,247 We are just so thrilled to have you. None of my kids are at your calibre. 435 00:29:07,331 --> 00:29:09,374 But we are just so overjoyed... 436 00:29:09,459 --> 00:29:11,795 to have someone with your kind of talent here. 437 00:29:11,878 --> 00:29:13,587 Here you go. 438 00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:15,798 Look at this. Your old best friend. 439 00:29:15,882 --> 00:29:17,759 I know it's not yours... 440 00:29:17,842 --> 00:29:19,928 but you are going to make beautiful music. 441 00:29:20,011 --> 00:29:22,097 This is fantastic. I'm very excited. 442 00:29:22,180 --> 00:29:25,559 You just own this and break a leg. 443 00:29:43,453 --> 00:29:45,331 What was he doing wandering unsupervised? 444 00:29:45,415 --> 00:29:47,166 Who knows? 445 00:29:47,249 --> 00:29:50,796 I'll tell you something. I'm about fed up with these Tall Oaks North kids. 446 00:29:57,386 --> 00:30:00,347 Kids, entertain yourselves. Play along with Petey. 447 00:30:00,430 --> 00:30:03,267 No, no, no, Petey. Here we go. 448 00:30:03,351 --> 00:30:05,810 All right, all right. Come on, now. A little encouragement. 449 00:30:08,731 --> 00:30:11,402 Folks, he's just a little nervous. 450 00:30:12,443 --> 00:30:14,279 This isn't right. 451 00:30:14,363 --> 00:30:16,281 Just blow on it, kid. All right. 452 00:30:16,364 --> 00:30:17,950 Here we go. 453 00:30:29,838 --> 00:30:32,006 Play! Do something. 454 00:30:43,144 --> 00:30:45,146 Special, my ass. 455 00:30:45,230 --> 00:30:47,525 Come on. Give the little guy some support. 456 00:30:49,903 --> 00:30:52,904 Come on, Petey. You're doing great, partner. 457 00:30:54,322 --> 00:30:56,450 Come on, honey. You can do it. 458 00:30:56,534 --> 00:30:58,160 Come on, Petey. 459 00:31:00,246 --> 00:31:01,832 What the hell. 460 00:31:05,919 --> 00:31:07,421 All right! 461 00:31:07,504 --> 00:31:11,466 All right, Petey! Come on, now! Come on! 462 00:31:12,509 --> 00:31:14,344 Rock and roll! 463 00:31:57,475 --> 00:31:58,393 Thank you! 464 00:32:01,396 --> 00:32:03,315 Thank you, Tall Oaks. You're beautiful. 465 00:32:08,655 --> 00:32:10,573 My name is Petey! 466 00:32:11,657 --> 00:32:14,119 Thank you! 467 00:32:14,911 --> 00:32:17,122 And I have gigantic balls! 468 00:32:34,849 --> 00:32:36,350 Not now! Come back later. Go! 469 00:32:40,314 --> 00:32:42,650 Hey, hey, hey. Come back here! 470 00:32:42,733 --> 00:32:45,987 - I wanna talk to you! - You are so sweet. 471 00:32:46,071 --> 00:32:48,988 He is special. 472 00:32:49,406 --> 00:32:51,534 He's my bitch. 473 00:32:53,328 --> 00:32:55,705 Well, Michele has confirmed it. 474 00:32:55,788 --> 00:32:59,211 - I suck. - What? 475 00:32:59,294 --> 00:33:02,087 I gotta get some practice. 476 00:33:02,170 --> 00:33:05,509 Don't worry about it. I mean, that's why we got the house, Jimbo. 477 00:33:05,592 --> 00:33:09,888 We plop a keg on the deck and the girls come in off the beach. 478 00:33:09,971 --> 00:33:13,058 It's like a hummingbird feeder. 479 00:33:13,141 --> 00:33:16,061 - You think so? - I know so. 480 00:33:16,144 --> 00:33:18,064 Guaranteed hotties. 481 00:33:18,439 --> 00:33:20,775 Fellas, nice pad. 482 00:33:20,858 --> 00:33:23,819 Good view, but... 483 00:33:23,904 --> 00:33:27,323 the Sherminator sensors detect no female life forms in the vicinity. 484 00:33:27,406 --> 00:33:31,745 High likelihood of a sausage fest in progress. 485 00:33:31,829 --> 00:33:34,206 The girls are coming. I made some calls. 486 00:33:36,542 --> 00:33:39,795 The Sherminator's got a point, Kev. 487 00:33:39,879 --> 00:33:43,884 Since when do you start listening to the Sherminator? 488 00:33:43,968 --> 00:33:47,845 Since he made me realize there's an abundance of wiener here. 489 00:33:47,929 --> 00:33:50,473 I mean, look around, dude. 490 00:33:50,557 --> 00:33:52,767 All right, now it's your turn. 491 00:33:52,851 --> 00:33:54,812 Come on. There's nothing to tell. 492 00:33:55,855 --> 00:33:58,400 Hey, what's up? What are you guys talking about? 493 00:33:58,483 --> 00:34:00,694 You know, we're just trading war stories about college... 494 00:34:00,777 --> 00:34:03,196 who hooked up with who, who slept with who... 495 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,491 So, Vicky? 496 00:34:05,572 --> 00:34:09,577 Well, there was this one guy. How 'bout you? 497 00:34:09,661 --> 00:34:12,288 You know, there was a few girls... 498 00:34:12,371 --> 00:34:13,373 three. 499 00:34:13,456 --> 00:34:16,336 Look at you. You stud. 500 00:34:17,755 --> 00:34:19,965 All right, Oz. Now that Kevin told us, what about you? 501 00:34:20,048 --> 00:34:23,511 You haven't had the slightest bit of attraction to any girl at school? 502 00:34:23,594 --> 00:34:26,471 Don't you fuckin' say no. I know you did. 503 00:34:27,389 --> 00:34:29,475 Even if I did... 504 00:34:29,558 --> 00:34:32,687 it wouldn't be anything more than just a momentary thing. 505 00:34:32,770 --> 00:34:35,773 Very uninteresting. 506 00:34:35,857 --> 00:34:38,819 How about you, Jessica? How many chicks did you sleep with this year? 507 00:34:38,902 --> 00:34:40,738 Gee, wouldn't you like to know. 508 00:34:42,323 --> 00:34:43,783 Fuck yeah, I would. 509 00:34:45,658 --> 00:34:46,993 Come on, Ozzy. 510 00:34:47,077 --> 00:34:49,497 Yeah, man. Ball. Pool's yours. 511 00:34:49,580 --> 00:34:52,500 - Hey, Vic, you wanna play? - Yeah, sure. You wanna break? 512 00:34:58,339 --> 00:35:00,509 Where are the fuckin' females? 513 00:35:01,177 --> 00:35:05,305 Jim, can't you leave your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away. 514 00:35:05,764 --> 00:35:07,600 Dude, give him a break. 515 00:35:09,351 --> 00:35:10,852 Ozzy, go deep. 516 00:35:10,936 --> 00:35:13,523 - Yeah, bro. You playing? - No. 517 00:35:15,984 --> 00:35:18,404 No, keep going. Flank pattern. 518 00:35:18,487 --> 00:35:20,948 - What are you doin'? - Fishin'. 519 00:35:28,623 --> 00:35:29,999 Are you okay? 520 00:35:31,708 --> 00:35:35,464 - You okay? - I'm so sorry. Is everybody okay? 521 00:35:42,556 --> 00:35:43,930 Amazing. 522 00:35:46,809 --> 00:35:49,062 The Force is strong in that one. 523 00:35:50,355 --> 00:35:51,439 Whoa. 524 00:35:52,483 --> 00:35:57,195 The Sherminator detects serious heat at a distance of two metres. 525 00:35:57,279 --> 00:35:59,240 Preparing to deploy beer. 526 00:36:02,367 --> 00:36:05,914 Dude, let me give you a valuable piece of advice, okay? 527 00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:07,623 Drop the whole ''Sherminator'' thing. 528 00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:09,834 Please repeat previous statement. 529 00:36:09,917 --> 00:36:12,796 Look, I know your last name is Sherman, right? 530 00:36:12,921 --> 00:36:15,466 And that rhymes with The Terminator... 531 00:36:15,549 --> 00:36:17,968 which was a big hit movie ten years ago. 532 00:36:18,051 --> 00:36:20,888 But you can't tell me a girl's ever really gone for it. 533 00:36:21,766 --> 00:36:24,976 System overload. Hasta la vista, Jessica. 534 00:36:28,230 --> 00:36:29,481 Freak. 535 00:36:31,775 --> 00:36:34,654 Vic, hey, you guys are leaving? 536 00:36:34,738 --> 00:36:38,491 You know, we barely had a chance to hang out, you know, catch up. 537 00:36:38,575 --> 00:36:41,910 - What are you doing this weekend? - I can get together. 538 00:36:41,994 --> 00:36:44,246 - Cool. Let's hang out. - All right. 539 00:36:44,330 --> 00:36:46,917 - Bye, Kev. - See ya, Jess. 540 00:36:50,129 --> 00:36:52,924 No, no, that's all wrong. 541 00:36:53,006 --> 00:36:56,176 Thank you. Have a nice day. 542 00:36:56,260 --> 00:36:59,180 - So what does he mean, ''meet up''? - You know, like hang out... 543 00:36:59,264 --> 00:37:00,806 grab lunch, whatever. 544 00:37:00,890 --> 00:37:04,520 I told you, we're just friends now. And he totally understands. 545 00:37:04,603 --> 00:37:08,231 - I'm sure he understands quite well. - He does. 546 00:37:08,314 --> 00:37:12,613 Oh, no, sir. These are all wrong for you. I mean, seriously. 547 00:37:13,946 --> 00:37:15,699 Sure. Well, we're friends. 548 00:37:15,783 --> 00:37:19,286 But it's not like I see her making plans with anyone else. 549 00:37:19,369 --> 00:37:22,997 I don't see her with a boyfriend. I think that puts me on deck. 550 00:37:24,124 --> 00:37:27,795 Hey, Vicky only slept with one guy since we went out. 551 00:37:27,878 --> 00:37:32,300 I mean, that like makes me 50% of her entire guy-related life. 552 00:37:32,384 --> 00:37:34,344 You dipshit. 553 00:37:34,427 --> 00:37:37,598 She didn't sleep with one guy. She slept with at least three. 554 00:37:37,681 --> 00:37:39,309 What? 555 00:37:39,392 --> 00:37:41,475 When a girl tells you how many guys she slept with... 556 00:37:41,559 --> 00:37:43,562 multiply it by three and that's the real number. 557 00:37:43,645 --> 00:37:46,649 Didn't you fuckers learn anything at college? 558 00:37:48,129 --> 00:37:52,488 - Kevin did not sleep with three girls. - Why would he lie to me? 559 00:37:52,696 --> 00:37:55,658 It's not a lie. It's an adjustment. The rule of three. 560 00:37:56,076 --> 00:37:58,016 - The rule of what? - Three. 561 00:37:58,121 --> 00:38:01,414 If a guy tells you how many girls he's been with, it's not even close to that. 562 00:38:01,519 --> 00:38:04,960 Take that number and divide it by three. Then you get the real total. 563 00:38:05,065 --> 00:38:09,110 So, if Kevin's saying it's been three girls, it's more like one, or none. 564 00:38:09,216 --> 00:38:11,425 - None? - Rule of three. 565 00:38:11,531 --> 00:38:14,325 It's an exact science, consistent as gravity. 566 00:38:27,068 --> 00:38:28,653 Oh, my God! 567 00:38:30,489 --> 00:38:33,451 Guys, check it out. 568 00:38:34,076 --> 00:38:36,496 Lesbians. 569 00:38:36,579 --> 00:38:38,390 Lesbians live here. 570 00:38:38,495 --> 00:38:40,999 You know, Mr Homophobic Wizard... 571 00:38:41,082 --> 00:38:45,254 that it is possible for women to hold hands and not be gay. 572 00:38:45,337 --> 00:38:46,923 Friends can hold hands. 573 00:38:47,006 --> 00:38:50,135 Hey, Finch, I don't wanna hear about you and your boyfriends. 574 00:38:50,218 --> 00:38:53,430 - Go jerk off. - Unnecessary. 575 00:38:53,514 --> 00:38:55,975 Tantra teaches you to hold an orgasm over time... 576 00:38:56,059 --> 00:38:58,518 in anticipation of an ultimate moment... 577 00:38:58,602 --> 00:39:01,022 to release it upon the world. 578 00:39:01,106 --> 00:39:03,357 I'm filling up to the brim. 579 00:39:03,441 --> 00:39:07,862 That's fucking disgusting! I'm gonna throw up. 580 00:39:15,455 --> 00:39:17,205 Hey, Heather. You're in! 581 00:39:18,582 --> 00:39:20,126 How's the studying going? 582 00:39:20,209 --> 00:39:22,171 I'd hardly call it studying. 583 00:39:22,254 --> 00:39:24,172 I've been going to the Picasso museum... 584 00:39:24,255 --> 00:39:26,633 hanging out at Sagrada Familia... 585 00:39:26,716 --> 00:39:29,136 going with Pierre to the Parc Guell. 586 00:39:29,220 --> 00:39:31,722 - Who's Pierre? - One of the guys in the programme. 587 00:39:31,806 --> 00:39:34,643 He's got a girlfriend back in France, so we've kind of got something in common. 588 00:39:34,727 --> 00:39:36,395 That sounds cool. 589 00:39:36,479 --> 00:39:40,732 Yeah, I've overheard them on the phone at night. 590 00:39:40,815 --> 00:39:44,569 And, well, it made me think. 591 00:39:44,652 --> 00:39:48,532 Hey, Oz, l'm reaching under my shirt and l'm rubbing myself. 592 00:39:50,284 --> 00:39:53,580 Oz, come on. It's phone sex. Help me out here. 593 00:39:53,664 --> 00:39:55,123 Okay. 594 00:39:58,042 --> 00:40:01,004 I'm going over to my bed. 595 00:40:02,088 --> 00:40:04,424 and l'm lying down. 596 00:40:04,508 --> 00:40:06,969 And I'm slowly... 597 00:40:07,053 --> 00:40:10,431 reaching downstairs. 598 00:40:10,515 --> 00:40:12,266 Grab it. Tell me how big it is. 599 00:40:13,644 --> 00:40:16,854 Listen, Heather, I'm feeling kind of awkward. 600 00:40:16,937 --> 00:40:20,693 If we can't be with each other, then we have to learn to be more vocal. 601 00:40:20,776 --> 00:40:23,195 - Right? - Right. Okay. 602 00:40:23,278 --> 00:40:27,951 Okay, here we go. I'm reaching in my pants now. 603 00:40:28,034 --> 00:40:29,744 And I'm rubbing it for you, Heather. 604 00:40:29,828 --> 00:40:32,623 And it feels so good. 605 00:40:32,706 --> 00:40:34,998 - Yeah, me too. - Oh, yeah. 606 00:40:35,081 --> 00:40:36,917 I got... 607 00:40:37,001 --> 00:40:38,211 Call waiting. 608 00:40:39,296 --> 00:40:41,006 Shit. Hello? 609 00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:44,761 Wrong number. 610 00:40:45,887 --> 00:40:47,805 Hey. Hello. Wrong number. 611 00:40:50,182 --> 00:40:53,395 All right, look, man. I got my hand on my dick right now, okay... 612 00:40:53,479 --> 00:40:55,981 and I'm trying to have sex with my girlfriend over the phone. 613 00:40:57,023 --> 00:40:58,984 Good for you, man. 614 00:41:03,489 --> 00:41:06,034 Sorry about that. Where were we? 615 00:41:06,117 --> 00:41:08,453 I think you were reaching for something. 616 00:41:08,537 --> 00:41:10,621 Oh, yeah. 617 00:41:10,705 --> 00:41:15,668 Oh, yeah, Heather. I'm rubbing it and it feels so good. 618 00:41:16,629 --> 00:41:20,424 Hey, Oz, I'm touching myself. What else do you want me to do? 619 00:41:20,508 --> 00:41:22,926 Heather, baby. 620 00:41:23,010 --> 00:41:25,806 Why don't you tell me my dick is as big as Stifler's. 621 00:41:25,889 --> 00:41:26,973 Stifler, get off! 622 00:41:27,057 --> 00:41:30,228 I am getting off just listening to the two of you guys. 623 00:41:30,311 --> 00:41:33,106 - Keep going. - We should try this another time. 624 00:41:33,189 --> 00:41:36,107 Yeah, all right. Bye. I love you. 625 00:41:36,191 --> 00:41:39,446 - I love you. - Come on you, guys. I was almost there! 626 00:41:39,529 --> 00:41:42,532 - Nice talking with you, Steven. - Stifler, man! 627 00:41:44,034 --> 00:41:45,535 Repressed. 628 00:41:55,295 --> 00:41:56,839 Check it out. 629 00:41:56,922 --> 00:41:59,257 Potential lesbians leaving the building. 630 00:42:07,643 --> 00:42:09,561 All right. Now is my chance. 631 00:42:09,645 --> 00:42:12,271 I need confirmation. 632 00:42:12,355 --> 00:42:14,441 Stifler. Hey, man, what are you doing? 633 00:42:15,046 --> 00:42:16,236 Go get him. 634 00:42:16,319 --> 00:42:17,779 You ass. Stifler, get out. 635 00:42:24,411 --> 00:42:27,999 Shit, dude! I found a dildo! 636 00:42:29,083 --> 00:42:31,211 Big blue rubber dicks for everyone! 637 00:42:31,357 --> 00:42:34,714 - The people demand rubber dicks! - Finch, help. 638 00:42:34,797 --> 00:42:37,259 Dildo, dildo, dildo! 639 00:42:39,177 --> 00:42:42,264 - What are you doing? - Looking for more lesbian artefacts. 640 00:42:43,641 --> 00:42:45,642 - Where'd you get this? - Finch's ass. 641 00:42:46,935 --> 00:42:48,855 Shit! Guys, they're back. 642 00:42:51,481 --> 00:42:52,483 Stall 'em! 643 00:42:54,110 --> 00:42:55,444 Come on. Come on! 644 00:42:55,527 --> 00:42:58,531 - Come on. Come on. - This is awesome! 645 00:42:58,614 --> 00:43:00,868 Danielle, Amber, hi. 646 00:43:00,951 --> 00:43:03,955 Just needed the paper, huh? 647 00:43:06,416 --> 00:43:10,045 - Which room? - I can't remember. I was too excited. 648 00:43:10,128 --> 00:43:12,671 - I'm in a lesbian stronghold. - Was it in here? 649 00:43:12,754 --> 00:43:16,093 - Why you asking me so many questions? - Was it in here? 650 00:43:16,177 --> 00:43:18,886 - Maybe. - Was it or was it not here? 651 00:43:18,970 --> 00:43:21,807 Happy painting, boys. 652 00:43:23,268 --> 00:43:25,310 You gotta get out of there. They're inside. 653 00:43:25,395 --> 00:43:26,646 Oh, shit, balls! 654 00:43:32,067 --> 00:43:35,405 - Very original, Steven. - Don't call me Steven. 655 00:43:48,963 --> 00:43:51,255 I can wear that little leopard bikini of mine. 656 00:43:51,339 --> 00:43:54,008 I love that one. It's so cute on you. 657 00:43:54,092 --> 00:43:55,636 Help me zip, please. 658 00:43:58,347 --> 00:44:02,477 - Did I show you my cute pink shoes? - Does it match your pink bikini? 659 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,521 They're getting naked. 660 00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:09,942 - Cute. - Thank you. 661 00:44:17,743 --> 00:44:19,620 Shit. She's de-pantsing. 662 00:44:19,703 --> 00:44:21,498 Oh, man. 663 00:44:21,581 --> 00:44:25,711 Wait. They can't hear us inside? We won't cross over their radio? 664 00:44:25,795 --> 00:44:28,963 No, man. These work on a CB frequency. 665 00:44:29,046 --> 00:44:30,882 This girl is so hot. 666 00:44:35,887 --> 00:44:38,850 Two possible lesbians in their bras and panties. 667 00:44:38,934 --> 00:44:40,060 Lesbians? 668 00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:43,647 Did you say lesbians? 669 00:44:43,730 --> 00:44:45,149 Hot lesbians! 670 00:44:48,380 --> 00:44:50,425 This is not gonna fit. Look at you and look at me. 671 00:44:50,508 --> 00:44:53,762 - Too big. - I'll get you the blue stringy number. 672 00:44:56,556 --> 00:44:58,434 Johnny West is missing. 673 00:45:00,019 --> 00:45:02,146 Maybe you kicked it under the bed. 674 00:45:04,232 --> 00:45:05,566 Okay, let me look. 675 00:45:05,651 --> 00:45:08,485 Wait. Didn't you have it when we were downstairs? 676 00:45:08,568 --> 00:45:09,987 Maybe. 677 00:45:13,826 --> 00:45:16,912 Guys, get the hell out of there right now. 678 00:45:18,998 --> 00:45:19,916 Come on! 679 00:45:19,999 --> 00:45:22,418 - It's clear! - Go, go, go! 680 00:45:28,048 --> 00:45:29,383 They're coming back. 681 00:45:35,140 --> 00:45:38,395 I'm just so glad I found him. He's my favourite collectible. 682 00:45:38,478 --> 00:45:39,937 I know. 683 00:45:43,065 --> 00:45:45,986 Holy shit! There's a dildo in my drawer. 684 00:45:46,070 --> 00:45:47,528 Oh, my God! 685 00:45:47,612 --> 00:45:49,740 You could have asked me if you wanted to borrow it. 686 00:45:50,907 --> 00:45:52,493 Stop it. 687 00:45:54,828 --> 00:45:58,041 - What the hell was that? - I don't know. Call 9 11 . 688 00:46:01,712 --> 00:46:03,297 - No 9 11 . - Don't call the police. 689 00:46:03,380 --> 00:46:07,258 - My God, it's the painting kids. - I'm still calling the cops. 690 00:46:07,342 --> 00:46:09,303 Okay, no, no, no. This isn't right. 691 00:46:09,386 --> 00:46:12,639 - Look. Stifler did break in here. - You dick! 692 00:46:12,723 --> 00:46:15,309 But we just followed him in to get him out. 693 00:46:16,936 --> 00:46:19,605 I just wanted proof that you chicks are really lesbians. 694 00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,279 You wanna mess with 'em? 695 00:46:27,364 --> 00:46:29,283 Yeah, it'll be fun. 696 00:46:29,366 --> 00:46:31,494 Let's do it. 697 00:46:32,536 --> 00:46:34,956 You guys like that? 698 00:46:42,882 --> 00:46:45,634 Ozzy, stand by for confirmation. 699 00:46:47,261 --> 00:46:49,889 That's a big 10-4 on the confirmation. 700 00:46:52,016 --> 00:46:55,061 Sounds like your little friends outside wanna play too. 701 00:46:59,462 --> 00:47:01,380 You won't be needing this. 702 00:47:02,591 --> 00:47:04,550 Who wants me to touch Amber? 703 00:47:05,864 --> 00:47:07,116 l do, l do. 704 00:47:07,178 --> 00:47:09,703 - Who the hell is that? - Who's this? 705 00:47:09,786 --> 00:47:13,289 This is John... Smith. 706 00:47:13,372 --> 00:47:17,502 I'm turning off my radio now. 707 00:47:17,586 --> 00:47:21,842 Okay. Where should I touch Amber? 708 00:47:21,925 --> 00:47:24,300 Ass, baby. Feel that ass! 709 00:47:29,266 --> 00:47:30,224 That's nice. 710 00:47:33,938 --> 00:47:37,273 I know. You feel his ass first. 711 00:47:38,651 --> 00:47:39,568 Excuse me? 712 00:47:39,651 --> 00:47:42,489 Yeah, I like that. That's good. 713 00:47:42,572 --> 00:47:45,824 I got some painting I should... 714 00:47:45,908 --> 00:47:48,786 Jim, hold on. I can handle it. 715 00:47:48,870 --> 00:47:51,164 - What? - I'm comfortable with my sexuality. 716 00:47:51,247 --> 00:47:53,709 And I would love to see that show. 717 00:47:53,792 --> 00:47:55,962 Bravo! 718 00:47:59,423 --> 00:48:02,219 One finger on the cheek. 719 00:48:02,302 --> 00:48:04,387 We want... 720 00:48:04,470 --> 00:48:07,182 palm grasping. 721 00:48:08,267 --> 00:48:10,268 That's too much. No, no, no. 722 00:48:10,352 --> 00:48:12,395 You don't touch, we don't touch. 723 00:48:12,479 --> 00:48:15,941 - Squeeze his ass, son. You'll like it. - Come on, boys. 724 00:48:16,024 --> 00:48:19,654 - Jesus Christ. - Oh, shit. 725 00:48:22,075 --> 00:48:24,074 I'm touching his ass. I'm touching his ass. 726 00:48:25,660 --> 00:48:27,704 Red Leader, what's your position? 727 00:48:27,788 --> 00:48:30,707 l'm touching his ass. l'm touching his ass. 728 00:48:30,791 --> 00:48:31,709 Mommy! 729 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,086 You can go. 730 00:48:34,170 --> 00:48:36,088 That really wasn't bad. 731 00:48:36,171 --> 00:48:38,675 - I wanna go home. - That's too bad. 732 00:48:40,511 --> 00:48:43,388 Never mind. I'm staying. 733 00:48:43,471 --> 00:48:45,932 Danielle is feeling my breasts. 734 00:48:48,518 --> 00:48:50,478 No way, dude! 735 00:48:50,562 --> 00:48:52,273 Her breasts are so luscious. 736 00:48:52,356 --> 00:48:54,859 What a wonderful Christmas gift you bought the boys. 737 00:48:54,942 --> 00:48:57,403 My nipples are so hard. 738 00:48:58,238 --> 00:49:00,240 I think I can fix these. 739 00:49:06,747 --> 00:49:08,373 Sweet Jesus. 740 00:49:10,500 --> 00:49:11,586 Your turn. 741 00:49:12,795 --> 00:49:14,255 Oh, yeah! 742 00:49:14,339 --> 00:49:15,882 No, no, no. 743 00:49:18,052 --> 00:49:19,095 Him. 744 00:49:23,431 --> 00:49:24,641 Kiss. 745 00:49:24,724 --> 00:49:27,144 Dude, no. 746 00:49:27,227 --> 00:49:30,648 - Wait. What? - You want more? 747 00:49:30,732 --> 00:49:33,234 We want more. Go get him, tiger. 748 00:49:33,318 --> 00:49:36,112 - You're gonna love it. - Do it for us. 749 00:49:39,242 --> 00:49:41,284 Okay, dude. 750 00:49:43,412 --> 00:49:45,372 One, two... 751 00:49:46,748 --> 00:49:48,667 three. 752 00:49:48,918 --> 00:49:51,839 - That doesn't even count. - That totally counted. 753 00:49:51,922 --> 00:49:54,424 - That's how you kiss your mother. - Don't you say anything! 754 00:49:54,674 --> 00:49:57,678 Make it real. You do that... 755 00:49:57,762 --> 00:50:00,012 we'll do anything you want. 756 00:50:00,096 --> 00:50:01,473 Anything? 757 00:50:01,556 --> 00:50:02,975 Anything. 758 00:50:06,145 --> 00:50:08,939 - You better like it. - Promise. 759 00:50:09,023 --> 00:50:10,943 I wouldn't lie. 760 00:50:17,826 --> 00:50:20,410 That is what I'm talking about. 761 00:50:20,493 --> 00:50:23,372 Kev, you can look. 762 00:50:27,377 --> 00:50:29,255 That's it. 763 00:50:29,338 --> 00:50:31,130 Where's your tongue? 764 00:50:36,763 --> 00:50:38,265 Good boys. 765 00:50:38,348 --> 00:50:41,142 - Very good. - Dude, you're a fucking lousy kisser. 766 00:50:41,225 --> 00:50:43,185 What? I wasn't trying! 767 00:50:43,269 --> 00:50:45,145 That's not fair! 768 00:50:45,229 --> 00:50:47,231 I wasn't trying there! 769 00:50:47,315 --> 00:50:49,026 No judgment. 770 00:50:49,985 --> 00:50:51,903 Wait a second. You were trying? 771 00:50:51,988 --> 00:50:54,448 - Fuck no! - You were trying! 772 00:50:55,783 --> 00:50:59,369 - I kissed Jim! - Silence! 773 00:50:59,453 --> 00:51:01,581 - Ladies. - Yes? 774 00:51:01,664 --> 00:51:03,750 As you were. 775 00:51:05,543 --> 00:51:07,503 - Here we go. - Let's do it. 776 00:51:22,374 --> 00:51:24,919 - Honey, come on. Food's ready. - I'm not hungry! 777 00:51:27,797 --> 00:51:30,507 - Oh, God. - It was worth it. 778 00:51:32,344 --> 00:51:35,848 - I want more. - Hell, yeah. I want more too, baby. 779 00:51:37,724 --> 00:51:41,896 We're gonna get more physical as soon as we get some... 780 00:51:43,313 --> 00:51:45,733 - Hand jobs. - Okay! 781 00:51:47,610 --> 00:51:48,946 Hand jobs. 782 00:51:50,864 --> 00:51:54,159 You do him. We love to watch. 783 00:51:55,411 --> 00:51:56,494 I'm sorry? 784 00:51:56,578 --> 00:51:58,747 - You go. - We go. 785 00:52:03,544 --> 00:52:05,462 Don't be a wimp. 786 00:52:08,759 --> 00:52:11,219 Okay. It's okay. 787 00:52:11,303 --> 00:52:13,181 I know what I have to do. 788 00:52:13,890 --> 00:52:16,265 I need to keep this party goin'. 789 00:52:17,350 --> 00:52:19,603 I'm takin' one for the team. 790 00:52:20,688 --> 00:52:22,107 Mother of God! 791 00:52:22,190 --> 00:52:23,774 Come on, you pussies! We had 'em! 792 00:52:23,858 --> 00:52:26,528 - I am not touching that. - Put that thing away, Stifler. 793 00:52:26,612 --> 00:52:29,864 Why can't you guys be team players, huh? 794 00:52:29,947 --> 00:52:31,868 I was the one doin' all the sacrificing'. 795 00:52:32,764 --> 00:52:34,516 Now, wait just a minute. 796 00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,519 Stifler wanted to give you two hand jobs? 797 00:52:37,602 --> 00:52:41,440 No. Stifler wanted one from us. 798 00:52:41,523 --> 00:52:43,441 What? Bullshit. 799 00:52:43,525 --> 00:52:45,319 He did. And it was horrible. 800 00:52:45,403 --> 00:52:47,114 Very horrible. 801 00:52:47,197 --> 00:52:49,658 You guys, you wanna play some ''asshole''? 802 00:52:49,741 --> 00:52:52,411 Just watching the game, Kev. 803 00:52:52,494 --> 00:52:54,580 I just wanna do something together. 804 00:52:54,661 --> 00:52:58,959 We just did something together. Very together. 805 00:52:59,043 --> 00:53:02,004 Ho, ho, ho. Stifler Claus is here. 806 00:53:02,087 --> 00:53:04,966 Now, just so there's no confusion... 807 00:53:05,049 --> 00:53:08,469 Santa Porn has just brought us some heterosexual entertainment. 808 00:53:10,180 --> 00:53:11,098 Here you go. 809 00:53:12,266 --> 00:53:14,103 All right. Here. 810 00:53:14,183 --> 00:53:16,937 And the Stifmeister's provided us some complimentary lubricant. 811 00:53:17,020 --> 00:53:18,980 Whack away, Jim. 812 00:53:19,064 --> 00:53:20,857 Does this stuff really make a difference? 813 00:53:20,941 --> 00:53:23,737 - Oh, yeah! - Really? 814 00:53:29,451 --> 00:53:31,871 Stifmeister's palace of love... 815 00:53:31,954 --> 00:53:33,540 straight love. 816 00:53:34,706 --> 00:53:37,584 Oh, hey. Yeah, I'm fine. 817 00:53:37,667 --> 00:53:39,378 - How about you? - That's Stifler's mom. 818 00:53:39,462 --> 00:53:40,879 Silence. 819 00:53:40,963 --> 00:53:42,965 I didn't really think you were gonna be in Michigan this summer. 820 00:53:43,049 --> 00:53:45,052 Yeah, you're more than welcome to be here. 821 00:53:45,135 --> 00:53:48,555 Okay, stop by in a couple of weeks. We're having a big party. 822 00:53:48,639 --> 00:53:50,266 Okay, bye. 823 00:53:50,349 --> 00:53:51,725 Stifler, was that... 824 00:53:55,270 --> 00:53:56,855 She's coming. 825 00:54:01,569 --> 00:54:03,654 Stifler's mom is coming here. 826 00:54:06,741 --> 00:54:08,786 Efforts must be doubled. 827 00:54:10,163 --> 00:54:12,165 ''Efforts must be doubled.'' 828 00:54:14,541 --> 00:54:15,876 Absolutely. 829 00:54:23,344 --> 00:54:25,262 Jenny, where'd you put my clarinet? 830 00:54:25,345 --> 00:54:27,848 - I think I shoved it in your box. - Thanks. 831 00:54:27,932 --> 00:54:31,977 Bad man. I'm a bad, bad man. 832 00:54:35,816 --> 00:54:37,817 Jim, what are you doing here? 833 00:54:37,900 --> 00:54:40,361 Well, I thought you had said... 834 00:54:40,444 --> 00:54:43,365 You can't just stand out here. 835 00:54:43,448 --> 00:54:47,329 Loo, l need your help. 836 00:54:47,412 --> 00:54:51,540 Nadia's coming back and I don't... 837 00:54:51,623 --> 00:54:53,709 I don't wanna be this awkward... 838 00:54:53,792 --> 00:54:56,881 bumbling, nervous guy with her. 839 00:54:56,964 --> 00:54:58,548 I don't wanna seem like a dork. 840 00:54:58,632 --> 00:55:00,842 Well, I know that feeling. 841 00:55:00,926 --> 00:55:03,054 Spend your life playing in the band... 842 00:55:03,137 --> 00:55:07,183 it doesn't exactly give you the ultra-cool hipster image. 843 00:55:07,266 --> 00:55:10,936 - I think you're pretty cool. - Seriously? 844 00:55:15,316 --> 00:55:18,695 Michele, why did you ditch me after prom? 845 00:55:18,779 --> 00:55:22,783 I didn't ditch you. I just... 846 00:55:22,867 --> 00:55:24,326 Our date was over. 847 00:55:25,202 --> 00:55:27,455 I mean, did you want some... 848 00:55:27,539 --> 00:55:30,126 funky, weird, next-morning goodbye? 849 00:55:31,917 --> 00:55:35,546 It's not like I wanted you to pretend you were in love with me or something. 850 00:55:35,630 --> 00:55:37,507 Why would I pretend that? 851 00:55:37,590 --> 00:55:39,301 Guys do that. 852 00:55:40,636 --> 00:55:44,265 Yeah, well, I'm not like other guys. 853 00:55:45,308 --> 00:55:47,018 I know. 854 00:55:47,102 --> 00:55:50,228 Okay, I'm gonna help you. 855 00:55:50,312 --> 00:55:52,232 Really? 856 00:55:52,315 --> 00:55:55,027 Yeah, I feel bad for saying that you sucked... 857 00:55:55,110 --> 00:55:58,155 even though you kind of did. 858 00:56:02,910 --> 00:56:04,829 Let's just get started. 859 00:56:05,914 --> 00:56:08,418 - Now, I'm a hot girl. - Right. 860 00:56:08,501 --> 00:56:11,419 - Okay, what do you wanna do? - I wanna feel your boobs. 861 00:56:11,502 --> 00:56:13,547 No, you dingbat. 862 00:56:13,630 --> 00:56:16,008 You don't just go groping away. 863 00:56:16,550 --> 00:56:19,762 You gotta preheat the oven before you stick in the turkey. 864 00:56:23,307 --> 00:56:24,851 Kiss me, here. 865 00:56:31,066 --> 00:56:33,109 Good. Okay, now... 866 00:56:33,192 --> 00:56:34,737 the collarbone... kiss. 867 00:56:39,492 --> 00:56:42,078 Good, Jim. 868 00:56:42,161 --> 00:56:43,664 You're making me wet. 869 00:56:43,747 --> 00:56:45,123 Holy shit. Really? 870 00:56:45,207 --> 00:56:47,376 No, I was just saying that so you could practise. 871 00:56:49,210 --> 00:56:50,712 Of course. 872 00:57:11,318 --> 00:57:15,865 Does direction matter, like clockwise, counter clockwise? 873 00:57:15,948 --> 00:57:18,410 Okay, Jim, this is what I'm talking about. 874 00:57:18,493 --> 00:57:22,789 Your main problem is you're so uptight. 875 00:57:23,999 --> 00:57:27,460 Do I seem uptight about my sexual stuff? No. 876 00:57:27,544 --> 00:57:30,757 The biggest pointer I could give you is... 877 00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:35,386 you have to feel comfortable in any situation. 878 00:57:35,469 --> 00:57:36,847 Stand up. 879 00:57:37,764 --> 00:57:38,682 Stand up. 880 00:57:40,059 --> 00:57:43,770 - Now, this is a fucked-up situation. - What happened to preheating? 881 00:57:43,854 --> 00:57:46,483 - We're skipping a few chapters. - Oh, okay. 882 00:57:46,566 --> 00:57:50,319 This is good. This is good. Obviously. 883 00:57:51,821 --> 00:57:55,199 - Gilligan's island, Mr Howell. - What? 884 00:57:55,282 --> 00:57:59,162 You've got to control yourself and think of something nonsexual. 885 00:57:59,247 --> 00:58:02,791 I haven't even touched you yet, and you're turning into the Sears Tower. 886 00:58:02,875 --> 00:58:05,754 I'm sorry. Yeah, nonsexual. 887 00:58:05,838 --> 00:58:08,463 Right, right. Okay. 888 00:58:08,547 --> 00:58:11,384 - Chairs. - Good. 889 00:58:14,220 --> 00:58:15,389 Mastodons. 890 00:58:18,058 --> 00:58:20,310 Cleaning my bathroom. 891 00:58:21,478 --> 00:58:23,523 Dung beetles. 892 00:58:24,023 --> 00:58:26,108 Okay. Now, don't freak out. 893 00:58:26,191 --> 00:58:29,237 I'm gonna do something to push your threshold. 894 00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:31,156 Oh, that's cold! What are you doing? 895 00:58:31,823 --> 00:58:34,952 I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren't instruments fun? 896 00:58:35,411 --> 00:58:38,498 Okay, I think you've just crossed my threshold. 897 00:58:48,174 --> 00:58:51,928 Call me in two weeks. I'll be home then. We can finish lessons. 898 00:58:58,435 --> 00:59:00,522 Pointer... less tongue. 899 00:59:08,009 --> 00:59:11,178 - What is it? A guest book? - Yeah, and look at this entry. 900 00:59:11,262 --> 00:59:13,974 ''Best thing was the blow-out at Tom Myers' place. 901 00:59:14,057 --> 00:59:16,476 - There he is. - A night not soon to be forgotten. 902 00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:19,187 August '93.'' It's your brother, man. Look. 903 00:59:19,270 --> 00:59:21,148 Yeah, his cottage was right down on the beach. 904 00:59:21,232 --> 00:59:24,818 Guys, this is what our party's gotta be. 905 00:59:24,902 --> 00:59:27,655 - Something we'll always remember. - Yes, definitely. 906 00:59:27,738 --> 00:59:29,324 Absolutely. 907 00:59:30,908 --> 00:59:33,578 - You go fish. - Finch, we're playing gin. 908 00:59:37,583 --> 00:59:38,584 Gin. 909 01:00:30,097 --> 01:00:31,516 What the fuck? 910 01:01:11,227 --> 01:01:12,186 ''Dear Jim. 911 01:01:14,272 --> 01:01:18,026 Chicago is beautiful, but it would be better if you were here. 912 01:01:18,109 --> 01:01:20,987 I'm counting the days. Love, Nadia.'' 913 01:01:23,907 --> 01:01:26,410 Well, I wish you were here, Nadia. 914 01:01:54,524 --> 01:01:58,071 - Have you been dirty? - Oh, yes, baby. I?ve been dirty. 915 01:02:00,154 --> 01:02:02,073 Do you want me to clean you? 916 01:02:02,156 --> 01:02:05,870 ''Apply a few drops to achieve desired lubrication.'' 917 01:02:05,954 --> 01:02:07,663 All right. 918 01:02:11,792 --> 01:02:15,338 I that a loofah, or are you just glad to see me? 919 01:02:15,421 --> 01:02:17,341 What the hell. 920 01:02:36,153 --> 01:02:37,947 Shit. 921 01:02:42,118 --> 01:02:44,454 God! 922 01:02:44,537 --> 01:02:46,622 I been missin' out. 923 01:03:04,975 --> 01:03:06,811 Oh, shit! 924 01:03:12,943 --> 01:03:14,111 Shit! 925 01:03:20,327 --> 01:03:23,078 - Everybody okay? - I'm fine. 926 01:03:23,163 --> 01:03:24,872 I'm fine. Everything's fine. 927 01:03:24,955 --> 01:03:27,751 Shut the fuck up or I'll break down this door and pummel your ass! 928 01:03:27,835 --> 01:03:31,672 No, don't come in here. I'm fine. I just fell out of the bed. 929 01:03:31,755 --> 01:03:33,674 - You sure? - Okay, good night, then. 930 01:03:33,758 --> 01:03:35,719 - 'Night. - We'll see you in the morning. 931 01:03:49,734 --> 01:03:51,068 Oh, shit! 932 01:04:16,261 --> 01:04:18,432 - Poison control. - Hello? 933 01:04:23,060 --> 01:04:25,272 Yeah, I kind of... 934 01:04:25,355 --> 01:04:27,192 Super Glued myself... 935 01:04:27,275 --> 01:04:30,069 to myself. 936 01:04:30,570 --> 01:04:32,322 No, no! 937 01:04:33,115 --> 01:04:35,075 Don't send an ambulance. 938 01:04:35,158 --> 01:04:39,246 Look, is there anything, you know, around the house? 939 01:04:42,958 --> 01:04:44,835 Paint thinner. 940 01:05:40,980 --> 01:05:42,273 Shit. 941 01:05:48,823 --> 01:05:51,618 Don't move! Stay where you are! 942 01:05:51,701 --> 01:05:54,160 Hands where we can see 'em! 943 01:05:54,243 --> 01:05:56,830 Both hands! Get the other hand up, God damn it! 944 01:05:58,374 --> 01:06:00,793 I can't! I can't! I'm glued! 945 01:06:00,876 --> 01:06:02,837 I'm glued! 946 01:06:03,421 --> 01:06:04,923 Sorry. 947 01:06:05,008 --> 01:06:07,926 Relax your hands. 948 01:06:08,010 --> 01:06:10,930 I'll take it from here, okay? 949 01:06:11,014 --> 01:06:12,972 Don't worry, Jimbo. You're gonna be fine, buddy. 950 01:06:13,056 --> 01:06:15,685 Jim, this happens to the best of us. 951 01:06:20,773 --> 01:06:23,610 Left foot first. Easy does it. Good. 952 01:06:23,693 --> 01:06:27,365 - Watch your head. - All right. Take a seat. 953 01:06:29,325 --> 01:06:31,703 Excuse me, sir. Are you a family member? 954 01:06:31,786 --> 01:06:34,329 Fuck, no! This is just too good to miss! 955 01:06:34,413 --> 01:06:37,291 Okay, sir, you're just gonna have to wait here. All right? 956 01:06:44,592 --> 01:06:46,760 This summer's turned out to be great. 957 01:06:59,773 --> 01:07:02,590 - How you doin', son? - I've been better. 958 01:07:05,864 --> 01:07:08,451 Boy, that doesn't look too bad, Jim. 959 01:07:08,534 --> 01:07:10,662 Good job, Doctor. 960 01:07:10,746 --> 01:07:13,957 The swelling should subside in about eight or nine days. 961 01:07:14,040 --> 01:07:15,667 Eight or nine... 962 01:07:17,169 --> 01:07:20,005 Beach party's in a week. Nadia's coming. 963 01:07:24,010 --> 01:07:27,680 Doctor, my son has a party in seven days... 964 01:07:27,764 --> 01:07:29,808 and there's a young lady coming... 965 01:07:29,892 --> 01:07:32,059 that he's been waiting to... 966 01:07:33,894 --> 01:07:36,190 he's been waiting to get with. 967 01:07:36,274 --> 01:07:39,734 I'd tell your son to keep his pants on during that party. 968 01:07:39,818 --> 01:07:43,698 Oh, yes. Believe me, I will be doing that. It goes without saying. 969 01:07:43,781 --> 01:07:46,367 But if his pants... 970 01:07:46,451 --> 01:07:48,621 decide to come off during the party... 971 01:07:48,704 --> 01:07:51,789 could he have full use of his... 972 01:07:54,459 --> 01:07:55,544 penis? 973 01:07:55,628 --> 01:07:57,212 Okay. 974 01:07:59,883 --> 01:08:02,134 This should shave a couple of days off. 975 01:08:02,218 --> 01:08:04,846 Oh, good. 976 01:08:04,929 --> 01:08:06,974 Thank you, Doctor. 977 01:08:07,057 --> 01:08:09,435 Jim... 978 01:08:09,519 --> 01:08:12,312 that's good news. 979 01:08:12,395 --> 01:08:15,983 This has been a good-news day, son. Here. Put this on. 980 01:08:16,067 --> 01:08:17,609 Little chilly out there. 981 01:08:20,029 --> 01:08:22,115 Well, here we are. 982 01:08:22,866 --> 01:08:24,910 You know, Jim... 983 01:08:24,994 --> 01:08:28,706 I think we should keep your mother in the dark about the incident tonight. 984 01:08:28,789 --> 01:08:32,167 I think the whole glue thing might get her a little queasy. 985 01:08:32,251 --> 01:08:35,796 I don't know how I get myself into these things. 986 01:08:39,926 --> 01:08:41,595 But thanks for understanding. 987 01:08:41,678 --> 01:08:44,305 You've been really cool. 988 01:08:44,389 --> 01:08:46,433 I mean, between this and... 989 01:08:46,517 --> 01:08:48,270 you know... 990 01:08:50,353 --> 01:08:54,400 You know, you may be Jimbo or Jumbo... 991 01:08:54,483 --> 01:08:57,612 or Jimbodinny to these guys in here, but... 992 01:08:57,695 --> 01:09:00,365 I want you to know there are two people... 993 01:09:00,448 --> 01:09:03,911 who still remember where James Emanuel Levenstein came from. 994 01:09:05,787 --> 01:09:08,957 We're awful proud of you, son. 995 01:09:09,041 --> 01:09:10,876 Thanks, Dad. 996 01:09:11,878 --> 01:09:13,504 Don't forget your penis cream. 997 01:09:33,985 --> 01:09:36,112 That was it. 998 01:09:36,195 --> 01:09:40,117 Right there. That was a pure tantric moment. 999 01:09:40,200 --> 01:09:44,080 The fiicus, the water... it was all erotic. 1000 01:09:44,164 --> 01:09:48,958 One more stimulant, I would have had full release. 1001 01:09:49,042 --> 01:09:53,214 Finch, stay the fuck away from that fiicus. 1002 01:09:53,298 --> 01:09:54,966 That's a jizz-free fiicus. 1003 01:09:57,303 --> 01:10:01,473 There he is. Morning, Jimbo. How's the twig and giggleberries, man? 1004 01:10:01,557 --> 01:10:04,936 Oh, very colourful. My dick looks like a paint-by-numbers. 1005 01:10:07,104 --> 01:10:09,941 You're the only guy I know whose dick needs an instruction manual. 1006 01:10:15,154 --> 01:10:17,032 Casa de Stifler. 1007 01:10:21,412 --> 01:10:24,248 You're here now? No, that's cool. 1008 01:10:24,332 --> 01:10:26,959 You know, if you want to hang out with these guys. 1009 01:10:27,042 --> 01:10:29,295 Okay, then. I'll meet you out front. 1010 01:10:32,381 --> 01:10:35,301 - Hey, Stifler, was that... - Eat shit, Shitbreak. 1011 01:10:38,807 --> 01:10:39,806 She's here. 1012 01:10:42,185 --> 01:10:44,855 My lady has arrived. 1013 01:10:47,230 --> 01:10:49,943 - I gotta prepare. - Here we go. 1014 01:10:50,026 --> 01:10:53,196 - Great. Stifler's mom is here? - This could be a disaster. 1015 01:10:56,493 --> 01:10:59,078 Not unless Stifler's mom drives a moped. 1016 01:10:59,161 --> 01:11:00,204 Moped? 1017 01:11:03,751 --> 01:11:07,253 Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers. How you doin', boys? 1018 01:11:07,337 --> 01:11:10,716 - That's Stifler's little brother. - What are you doing here? 1019 01:11:10,799 --> 01:11:13,302 Pussy, man. I'm here for the pussy. 1020 01:11:13,385 --> 01:11:15,180 Take a number. 1021 01:11:15,263 --> 01:11:18,808 Gentlemen, why all the noise? Everybody knows this is my special day. 1022 01:11:18,892 --> 01:11:21,561 - What is that? - Is that a fuckin' dress? 1023 01:11:21,644 --> 01:11:26,274 - Are you wearing a dress? - Shitbreak, meet my little brother. 1024 01:11:26,357 --> 01:11:28,109 Little brother, meet Shitbreak. 1025 01:11:29,320 --> 01:11:31,530 - That's your brother? - Yes. 1026 01:11:34,367 --> 01:11:36,036 My lady's not coming. 1027 01:11:37,954 --> 01:11:42,960 So my entire stockpile is wasted... 1028 01:11:43,044 --> 01:11:45,378 and I look ridiculous! 1029 01:11:46,880 --> 01:11:48,465 Excuse me. 1030 01:11:53,889 --> 01:11:56,266 - That didn't look too good. - No. 1031 01:11:56,349 --> 01:12:01,355 - Let's go find your room. - So, where are the fuckin' females? 1032 01:12:04,232 --> 01:12:06,736 I can't believe I finally got you alone. 1033 01:12:06,819 --> 01:12:08,904 That only took, what, six weeks? 1034 01:12:10,072 --> 01:12:12,742 So, are you alone too? 1035 01:12:12,826 --> 01:12:15,328 - Yep. - Good. 1036 01:12:15,412 --> 01:12:19,082 I'm all alone. 1037 01:12:19,165 --> 01:12:21,960 Guess what I had in mind? 1038 01:12:25,214 --> 01:12:27,675 Hey, Marco, can you get your balls off me? 1039 01:12:28,802 --> 01:12:32,596 - What the hell's going on over there? - Nothing. 1040 01:12:32,763 --> 01:12:34,933 It's just my flatmates. 1041 01:12:35,017 --> 01:12:36,851 I guess this is kind of a lost cause, huh? 1042 01:12:36,935 --> 01:12:39,022 - Yeah, I guess so. - See ya this weekend? 1043 01:12:39,105 --> 01:12:41,191 - I can't wait. - I can't wait either. 1044 01:12:41,274 --> 01:12:42,440 Bye-bye. 1045 01:12:47,363 --> 01:12:50,116 - Surprise! - Holy... Nadia! 1046 01:12:50,199 --> 01:12:53,620 You're here? You're here. What are you doing here? 1047 01:12:53,704 --> 01:12:55,663 Jim, I got so tired of sightseeing. 1048 01:12:55,746 --> 01:12:58,083 But you're... you're early. 1049 01:12:58,167 --> 01:13:01,920 Okay. Nice to know you. 1050 01:13:02,004 --> 01:13:04,632 - I will leave. - No! 1051 01:13:04,715 --> 01:13:08,177 No. Don't... Don't leave. 1052 01:13:08,260 --> 01:13:10,305 Don't leave. No leaving. 1053 01:13:13,851 --> 01:13:17,687 It's just, I'm not gonna be ready... 1054 01:13:17,771 --> 01:13:21,858 I mean, the party won't be ready until Saturday. 1055 01:13:23,443 --> 01:13:25,905 I can stay here until then? 1056 01:13:25,988 --> 01:13:27,574 Yeah. 1057 01:13:28,741 --> 01:13:30,911 I'm gonna be right back. Is that okay? 1058 01:13:30,994 --> 01:13:33,581 - Okay. - Nadia... 1059 01:13:33,665 --> 01:13:37,168 who's in my room. Now. Holy shit. 1060 01:13:38,503 --> 01:13:40,548 all right, I?ve got a plan. 1061 01:13:40,628 --> 01:13:43,215 Okay. How about I come back with you... 1062 01:13:43,299 --> 01:13:44,925 and you say... 1063 01:13:45,009 --> 01:13:47,261 ''Hello, this is Michele, my girlfriend.'' 1064 01:13:47,345 --> 01:13:50,891 And obviously, Nadia won't expect you to hop in the sack. 1065 01:13:50,975 --> 01:13:54,561 And then we break up the day of the party. 1066 01:13:54,644 --> 01:13:56,689 And you're all healed and back on the market. 1067 01:13:58,107 --> 01:14:00,650 - You're evil. - No way! 1068 01:14:00,735 --> 01:14:02,863 I'm like Cupid. 1069 01:14:02,946 --> 01:14:05,448 And I know how to make a girl jealous. 1070 01:14:05,531 --> 01:14:07,325 This is gonna be fun. 1071 01:14:07,617 --> 01:14:09,411 I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner... 1072 01:14:09,495 --> 01:14:11,914 but we just started seeing each other a few weeks ago. 1073 01:14:14,876 --> 01:14:18,130 But I'd really love it if you stayed here. 1074 01:14:18,213 --> 01:14:21,048 I think you should stay and have fun at the party. 1075 01:14:21,132 --> 01:14:24,719 Good for you, Jim. Of course I will stay. 1076 01:14:24,803 --> 01:14:27,764 That's great... That's my nipples! 1077 01:14:27,847 --> 01:14:30,642 She just loves my nipples. 1078 01:16:04,745 --> 01:16:06,080 - Oh, my God. - You still broken? 1079 01:16:06,956 --> 01:16:08,125 No. 1080 01:16:08,208 --> 01:16:10,252 I'm fine. 1081 01:16:10,335 --> 01:16:13,588 I might have to actually go through with this. 1082 01:16:16,675 --> 01:16:19,428 What's the big deal with Nadia, anyway? 1083 01:16:19,511 --> 01:16:21,348 I mean, okay... 1084 01:16:21,431 --> 01:16:25,143 so she's 50,000 times hotter than most girls... 1085 01:16:25,226 --> 01:16:27,645 but come on, it's just sex. 1086 01:16:28,438 --> 01:16:29,606 Oh, no. 1087 01:16:29,689 --> 01:16:31,984 You saw the thing on the Internet. 1088 01:16:32,067 --> 01:16:34,321 Did it look like I might have had... 1089 01:16:34,404 --> 01:16:37,072 a slight interest in Nadia then? 1090 01:16:38,824 --> 01:16:40,743 Add another year to that. 1091 01:16:40,826 --> 01:16:42,995 Okay. 1092 01:16:43,079 --> 01:16:46,626 Hey, why don't you bring Nadia to the concert first? 1093 01:16:46,709 --> 01:16:48,544 It'll be a cool date. 1094 01:16:49,544 --> 01:16:51,463 We'll see how things go. 1095 01:16:56,552 --> 01:17:00,348 Michele, you have been great. 1096 01:17:00,431 --> 01:17:02,140 Thank you. 1097 01:17:02,224 --> 01:17:03,851 Anytime. 1098 01:17:10,943 --> 01:17:12,737 Come on. 1099 01:17:15,781 --> 01:17:17,992 You ready to break up? 1100 01:17:18,075 --> 01:17:20,412 You big, stupid dummy! 1101 01:17:20,496 --> 01:17:22,788 Theatre is so cool! 1102 01:17:22,872 --> 01:17:26,252 I don't care if you are the best lay I've ever had in my life. 1103 01:17:26,335 --> 01:17:29,463 - I hate your guts anyway. - Don't say that. 1104 01:17:29,547 --> 01:17:34,634 And I don't care if you did give me ten orgasms in a row... 1105 01:17:34,718 --> 01:17:36,679 because you smell really bad. 1106 01:17:39,307 --> 01:17:41,058 I smell really bad! 1107 01:17:41,142 --> 01:17:44,688 Because we've been having so much sex, and... 1108 01:17:44,772 --> 01:17:48,275 and I haven't showered, and I wanna shower! 1109 01:17:49,861 --> 01:17:53,781 So, don't you go being all super sexy guy any more... 1110 01:17:53,865 --> 01:17:56,284 because I am now impervious... 1111 01:17:56,367 --> 01:18:00,121 to your unrelenting machismo and sexual ardour. 1112 01:18:01,038 --> 01:18:04,294 And that includes fucking me in the ass! So there! 1113 01:18:12,010 --> 01:18:14,095 We had something special. 1114 01:18:55,932 --> 01:18:57,851 Vicki. Hey. 1115 01:18:57,935 --> 01:19:01,314 I'm so glad you came. You want something to drink or... 1116 01:19:01,397 --> 01:19:03,233 Can I help you? 1117 01:19:04,651 --> 01:19:05,902 - Kevin. - What? 1118 01:19:05,986 --> 01:19:07,363 That's my date. 1119 01:19:23,005 --> 01:19:25,215 You saved them all. 1120 01:19:25,298 --> 01:19:26,967 How sweet. 1121 01:19:28,052 --> 01:19:29,971 You don't think I'm a dork? 1122 01:19:32,806 --> 01:19:37,228 Whatever you are, Jim, it is what I like. 1123 01:19:39,063 --> 01:19:41,065 Kevin left. Didn't look good. 1124 01:19:41,150 --> 01:19:43,235 Kevin left? 1125 01:19:44,069 --> 01:19:45,737 Just wandered down the beach. 1126 01:19:49,951 --> 01:19:51,868 You okay, Kev? 1127 01:19:55,123 --> 01:19:56,998 Wanna tell us what's up? 1128 01:19:58,709 --> 01:20:00,921 Wanna feel Finch's ass? 1129 01:20:04,466 --> 01:20:07,887 No, I went to say hi to Vicky... 1130 01:20:07,970 --> 01:20:10,764 and she was there with a date. 1131 01:20:10,847 --> 01:20:13,392 You hooked up with three girls this year. You're doing fine. 1132 01:20:13,476 --> 01:20:15,437 Rule of three, Oz. 1133 01:20:21,569 --> 01:20:24,363 I guess I was living in the past... wanting to party with you guys... 1134 01:20:24,446 --> 01:20:26,991 and be with Vicky, just like high school. 1135 01:20:27,075 --> 01:20:29,575 You remember that day after prom? 1136 01:20:29,659 --> 01:20:32,454 You know, we made a toast to the next step. 1137 01:20:33,748 --> 01:20:36,375 I guess I never took it. 1138 01:20:38,587 --> 01:20:41,966 My brother said that by the end of the summer I'd see the big picture. 1139 01:20:42,049 --> 01:20:44,051 And I see it. 1140 01:20:44,134 --> 01:20:47,764 No matter what, times change and things are different. 1141 01:20:47,847 --> 01:20:51,309 The problem is, I don't want them to be. 1142 01:20:51,392 --> 01:20:53,478 You know, Kevin, I haven't moved on either. 1143 01:20:53,561 --> 01:20:55,646 I've been obsessed with the one woman... 1144 01:20:55,729 --> 01:20:57,941 I can't have a real future with... 1145 01:20:58,024 --> 01:21:02,071 other than a very kinky, extremely warped one. 1146 01:21:03,490 --> 01:21:05,825 I got to find a new goddess. 1147 01:21:07,327 --> 01:21:10,705 It's gonna take patience, but I've been celibate all summer. 1148 01:21:10,788 --> 01:21:14,876 - You kinda get used to it, though, huh? - Are you insane? 1149 01:21:17,671 --> 01:21:21,842 Look, Kev, different does not necessarily mean worse. 1150 01:21:21,926 --> 01:21:24,805 As a matter of fact, I think things are just getting better. 1151 01:21:25,305 --> 01:21:28,098 Or am I gonna have to drag your ass back to that party and prove it to you? 1152 01:21:29,349 --> 01:21:30,559 I'll walk. 1153 01:21:47,828 --> 01:21:50,958 You know, you have beautiful eyes. 1154 01:21:51,041 --> 01:21:55,129 - Oh, you're sweet. - That's a really nice top. 1155 01:21:55,212 --> 01:21:58,633 - Oh. Thanks. - You're welcome. 1156 01:21:58,716 --> 01:22:01,970 - Wanna fuck? - Are you serious? 1157 01:22:02,053 --> 01:22:05,182 Come on, baby. Give it to the Stifmeister. 1158 01:22:05,265 --> 01:22:08,143 - I think you better... - Your loss. 1159 01:22:08,226 --> 01:22:11,314 Wow. You know, you have beautiful eyes. 1160 01:22:11,397 --> 01:22:14,983 Come here, dude. You're making an ass out of yourself. 1161 01:22:15,066 --> 01:22:18,487 You're ruining my mojo. And you're not the Stifmeister, okay? 1162 01:22:18,572 --> 01:22:20,949 It takes years to develop true Stifmeister style. 1163 01:22:21,032 --> 01:22:24,329 Come on, man! I just wanna see some boobs. 1164 01:22:24,412 --> 01:22:26,203 - Hey, Pop Tart. - Dream on, midget. 1165 01:22:26,286 --> 01:22:29,749 Excuse him. Come here. Take this. You're on cop watch. 1166 01:22:29,833 --> 01:22:32,711 Go out in the driveway. See any cops, call me, okay? 1167 01:22:32,795 --> 01:22:34,588 All right. 1168 01:22:44,684 --> 01:22:48,646 Gentlemen, this appears to be a party. 1169 01:22:51,566 --> 01:22:55,027 Guys, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go look for Nadia. 1170 01:22:55,111 --> 01:22:56,947 Good luck. 1171 01:23:00,408 --> 01:23:02,535 So what was this year like for you? 1172 01:23:02,620 --> 01:23:04,872 Did you miss high school? 1173 01:23:04,956 --> 01:23:06,956 Well, no. 1174 01:23:07,041 --> 01:23:10,712 When you travel as much as I do, you get used to moving on. 1175 01:23:12,046 --> 01:23:14,466 But I have great memories. 1176 01:23:18,011 --> 01:23:21,099 - Wow, can we go in there? - The lighthouse? 1177 01:23:24,311 --> 01:23:26,144 Yes. 1178 01:23:26,228 --> 01:23:27,980 Yes, we can. 1179 01:23:28,063 --> 01:23:29,982 How romantic. 1180 01:23:32,569 --> 01:23:33,904 Jim, come on. 1181 01:23:50,837 --> 01:23:54,093 It's beautiful! 1182 01:23:54,176 --> 01:23:55,845 Cool! 1183 01:23:58,472 --> 01:24:02,852 Jim, I have told you my memories from high school. 1184 01:24:02,936 --> 01:24:04,687 What are yours? 1185 01:24:10,360 --> 01:24:11,486 You. 1186 01:24:11,569 --> 01:24:13,864 You have not changed. 1187 01:24:18,494 --> 01:24:21,582 Jim, relax. 1188 01:24:21,665 --> 01:24:26,043 We are just, how do you say, tooting our horns. 1189 01:24:27,170 --> 01:24:29,130 Actually, that is quite difficult. 1190 01:24:29,214 --> 01:24:30,424 What do you mean? 1191 01:24:31,300 --> 01:24:34,554 Well, this one time at band camp... 1192 01:24:39,976 --> 01:24:42,104 Holy shit! 1193 01:24:43,396 --> 01:24:45,566 What? Tell me. 1194 01:24:46,899 --> 01:24:50,403 Well, this one time at band camp... 1195 01:24:51,572 --> 01:24:53,658 I got stuck playing this trombone. 1196 01:24:53,741 --> 01:24:56,911 And I can't play anything at all. So I totally sucked. 1197 01:24:56,994 --> 01:24:58,955 And everyone thought I was this Petey guy... 1198 01:24:59,038 --> 01:25:01,709 but I didn't know what to think, so I just kept playing and playing... 1199 01:25:01,792 --> 01:25:03,876 and I didn't know what I was doing. 1200 01:25:03,960 --> 01:25:05,754 It was so funny! 1201 01:25:07,256 --> 01:25:10,341 - I gotta go. - What? Why? 1202 01:25:13,221 --> 01:25:15,139 Please don't take this the wrong way... 1203 01:25:15,222 --> 01:25:17,684 but you're... 1204 01:25:17,767 --> 01:25:20,856 you're everything that I used to want. 1205 01:25:20,939 --> 01:25:24,024 And as much as I may really... 1206 01:25:24,107 --> 01:25:27,820 really regret what I'm about to do... 1207 01:25:29,279 --> 01:25:31,199 there's somebody else I want to be with. 1208 01:25:31,283 --> 01:25:34,327 You want the band geek? 1209 01:25:34,409 --> 01:25:35,620 Nadia... 1210 01:25:36,663 --> 01:25:38,624 I am a band geek. 1211 01:25:40,001 --> 01:25:42,794 I just never joined the band. 1212 01:25:47,549 --> 01:25:49,468 You go get your geek. 1213 01:25:51,137 --> 01:25:52,973 Someday I will find mine. 1214 01:26:11,826 --> 01:26:15,122 Hey. Kevin Myers. 1215 01:26:15,205 --> 01:26:17,416 Hi. Sorry I was a dick before. 1216 01:26:17,500 --> 01:26:20,334 It's okay, man. My name's Brett. 1217 01:26:20,418 --> 01:26:23,255 - Can you give us a sec? - Sure. 1218 01:26:24,674 --> 01:26:26,842 Look, you don't have to do this. 1219 01:26:26,925 --> 01:26:29,429 Maybe I was being selfish... 1220 01:26:29,512 --> 01:26:32,932 in wanting to be your friend. 1221 01:26:33,016 --> 01:26:35,685 Maybe it's just not gonna work. 1222 01:26:35,769 --> 01:26:39,356 I would much rather have you as a friend than not have you in my life at all. 1223 01:26:52,704 --> 01:26:54,666 Party on! 1224 01:27:00,212 --> 01:27:03,799 - From the lighthouse all the way... - Hey, handsome. 1225 01:27:10,850 --> 01:27:12,434 What are you doing here? 1226 01:27:12,517 --> 01:27:14,896 I was gonna pick you up at the airport in two hours. 1227 01:27:14,979 --> 01:27:17,274 I took an earlier flight, and I thought I'd surprise you. 1228 01:27:17,357 --> 01:27:21,234 - Yeah, you did. - Kinda weird without the phone, huh? 1229 01:27:21,318 --> 01:27:23,571 We'll get used to it. 1230 01:27:23,655 --> 01:27:26,992 Come on. I wanna hear all about it. We'll grab you a drink. 1231 01:27:27,910 --> 01:27:30,621 Steve, this cop-watch thing is horseshit. 1232 01:27:30,704 --> 01:27:32,164 Hello? 1233 01:27:33,958 --> 01:27:36,503 Man, this sucks. 1234 01:27:36,587 --> 01:27:38,420 Who is it out there? 1235 01:27:41,590 --> 01:27:44,260 It's the Stifmeister, baby. 1236 01:27:44,343 --> 01:27:45,971 I that so? 1237 01:27:50,601 --> 01:27:52,979 Life's a bitch, isn't it? 1238 01:27:55,231 --> 01:27:58,526 It's all right. You don't have to say anything. 1239 01:27:58,609 --> 01:28:01,029 I'm used to girls ignoring me. 1240 01:28:01,113 --> 01:28:03,032 Or making fun of me. 1241 01:28:03,115 --> 01:28:05,199 ''Come on, Sherman. Be the Sherminator.'' 1242 01:28:06,868 --> 01:28:09,914 Like the movie. How clever. 1243 01:28:09,998 --> 01:28:11,958 I get it, okay? 1244 01:28:13,710 --> 01:28:15,171 Maybe I am a geek. 1245 01:28:15,254 --> 01:28:17,796 Whatever. 1246 01:28:19,966 --> 01:28:22,970 Yes! Yes, you are! 1247 01:28:25,472 --> 01:28:27,058 All right. 1248 01:28:29,227 --> 01:28:32,939 I am the Sherminator. 1249 01:28:33,023 --> 01:28:36,525 A sophisticated sex robot sent back through time... 1250 01:28:36,609 --> 01:28:39,154 to change the future for one lucky lady. 1251 01:28:40,113 --> 01:28:42,116 I am lucky lady? 1252 01:28:42,199 --> 01:28:44,200 That's right, Nadia. 1253 01:28:44,284 --> 01:28:46,954 You've been targeted for Shermination. 1254 01:28:47,038 --> 01:28:49,707 Come with me if you want to live. 1255 01:28:53,294 --> 01:28:54,046 Help! 1256 01:28:58,466 --> 01:29:00,845 - Fuck me, geek! - Affirmative! 1257 01:29:00,928 --> 01:29:03,388 No fuckin' way! 1258 01:29:09,604 --> 01:29:12,817 - Forget it. - Like you have a chance. 1259 01:29:28,124 --> 01:29:29,876 Cheers, bud. 1260 01:29:35,590 --> 01:29:38,552 Hey, Steve, look what I found. 1261 01:29:38,635 --> 01:29:41,138 - Dude, don't touch the shirt. - Just look. 1262 01:29:44,142 --> 01:29:45,102 - Hi. - Hey, there. 1263 01:29:45,561 --> 01:29:48,396 Brilliant. You found lesbians. 1264 01:29:49,857 --> 01:29:52,401 Good luck trying to break through that force field. 1265 01:29:52,484 --> 01:29:55,820 - Lesbians? - We never said that. 1266 01:30:01,869 --> 01:30:04,456 - What? - We never said that. 1267 01:30:08,085 --> 01:30:09,796 Oh, man. 1268 01:30:10,880 --> 01:30:14,757 I will do anything... anything... to sleep with you chicks. 1269 01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:19,305 Okay? I'll grab every guy's ass in this room. 1270 01:30:19,389 --> 01:30:22,559 I'll caress it, even. I'll shave some ass if they need it. 1271 01:30:22,642 --> 01:30:24,896 Oh, yeah. You heard me. 1272 01:30:24,979 --> 01:30:30,026 It's true. I'll kiss everybody here. Dudes, chicks, everybody. 1273 01:30:30,109 --> 01:30:33,862 Because I am comfortable with my sexuality. 1274 01:30:33,945 --> 01:30:35,281 Oh, yeah. 1275 01:30:37,324 --> 01:30:39,827 At least have a drink with the Stifmeister. 1276 01:30:41,287 --> 01:30:43,207 - All right. - That's fair. 1277 01:30:45,000 --> 01:30:46,627 All right. 1278 01:30:49,171 --> 01:30:51,508 You truly are a Stifmeister. 1279 01:30:51,591 --> 01:30:55,720 - Welcome back to the party. - Steve, those are my lesbians. 1280 01:30:55,803 --> 01:30:58,640 - Ladies, I am down with the funky shit. - Like what? 1281 01:30:58,724 --> 01:31:01,059 One time at this party, I was drinking champagne... 1282 01:31:04,187 --> 01:31:05,856 Thank you. Thank you. 1283 01:31:05,940 --> 01:31:09,320 Our next soloist will be Michele Flaherty. 1284 01:31:38,182 --> 01:31:40,018 Petey? 1285 01:31:44,440 --> 01:31:46,693 This kid is killing me. 1286 01:31:49,070 --> 01:31:52,343 - You suck, retard. - I'm not retarded. 1287 01:31:52,489 --> 01:31:54,576 I'm a very special boy. 1288 01:32:11,093 --> 01:32:13,138 How's this for a band camp story? 1289 01:32:24,400 --> 01:32:28,072 Come on, guys. Let's hear it for Petey! 1290 01:33:36,500 --> 01:33:38,711 - Good for them. - It's awesome. 1291 01:33:41,839 --> 01:33:44,425 - Wanna dance? - Yeah. 1292 01:33:44,509 --> 01:33:47,388 We'll be back. Come on now, baby. 1293 01:34:31,748 --> 01:34:34,709 You know, there's only one word for that party. 1294 01:34:35,001 --> 01:34:37,254 - Bitchin'. - Out of control. 1295 01:34:38,924 --> 01:34:41,133 Am I gonna have a hangover? 'Cause I want one. 1296 01:34:48,683 --> 01:34:49,892 Later. 1297 01:34:50,936 --> 01:34:52,604 - Good-bye. - See ya. 1298 01:34:52,687 --> 01:34:55,732 - Let's go to our page. - We have to write about this party. 1299 01:34:55,815 --> 01:34:58,695 This party was crazy! Look at my date! He's passed out! 1300 01:34:58,778 --> 01:35:01,239 - You drank him under the table. - He couldn't hack it. 1301 01:35:40,282 --> 01:35:43,577 - Best summer ever, huh, fellas? - Absolutely. 1302 01:35:43,661 --> 01:35:47,789 - Sorry things didn't work out for you. - You kiddin'? Things are great. 1303 01:35:48,165 --> 01:35:50,418 I have all the time in the world. 1304 01:35:50,501 --> 01:35:52,586 So, are we gonna do this every summer? 1305 01:35:52,669 --> 01:35:55,005 - Hell, yeah, we are. - Of course we are, gentlemen. 1306 01:35:55,089 --> 01:35:56,674 Well, we're gonna try. 1307 01:36:08,062 --> 01:36:10,939 - That's a sweet car. - It is sweet. 1308 01:36:16,904 --> 01:36:19,240 - Stifler's mom. - Hey, Finchy. 1309 01:36:19,324 --> 01:36:21,285 How did you know I was here? 1310 01:36:21,368 --> 01:36:23,578 I called a couple of weeks ago. 1311 01:36:23,661 --> 01:36:26,123 Didn't Steven tell you that I was gonna drop by sometime? 1312 01:36:26,206 --> 01:36:29,001 I guess it slipped his mind. 1313 01:36:30,752 --> 01:36:32,463 What's your name? 1314 01:36:34,633 --> 01:36:35,842 Jeanine. 1315 01:36:38,845 --> 01:36:41,098 Okay, well... 1316 01:36:41,181 --> 01:36:44,434 I've been thinking, and, you know, I'm 19 years old. 1317 01:36:44,517 --> 01:36:48,649 There's a whole world out there. I can't be obsessed with one woman. 1318 01:36:48,732 --> 01:36:52,527 - Just can't be. - I'm glad you're learning, Finchy. 1319 01:36:54,029 --> 01:36:55,822 Good. 1320 01:36:58,993 --> 01:37:02,870 - You want to get it on? - You better clear your schedule. 1321 01:37:06,375 --> 01:37:08,378 See you guys later. 1322 01:37:08,462 --> 01:37:10,505 Where are you goin', man? What about Dog Years? 1323 01:37:10,589 --> 01:37:14,385 Give me, like, three days. 1324 01:37:16,303 --> 01:37:18,556 Wait, was that who I think... 1325 01:37:18,640 --> 01:37:21,018 - No. - Yeah! 1326 01:37:21,101 --> 01:37:23,686 - I think it was. - I think so too. 1327 01:37:26,731 --> 01:37:28,649 Who the hell was that? 1328 01:37:28,732 --> 01:37:30,234 That was... 1329 01:37:30,318 --> 01:37:31,987 That was... Someone was lost. 1330 01:37:32,071 --> 01:37:36,200 - Lookin' for the lake. - Yeah, all turned around. 1331 01:37:36,283 --> 01:37:39,496 What a dumb ass. The lake's right there. 1332 01:37:45,085 --> 01:37:48,838 Incredible. How does Finch get so lucky? 1333 01:37:48,921 --> 01:37:50,924 What are you worried about? You got a girlfriend now. 1334 01:37:51,258 --> 01:37:54,178 Everything in. Let's go. Pony up. Dog Years awaits. 1335 01:37:54,261 --> 01:37:57,348 Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. 1336 01:37:57,432 --> 01:37:59,518 - I have a girlfriend now. - Yeah, you do. 1337 01:37:59,601 --> 01:38:02,061 - She's my girlfriend. - All right, Jimbo. 1338 01:38:02,144 --> 01:38:04,021 Let's go! Let's go! 1339 01:38:04,105 --> 01:38:05,482 - Where's Shitbreak? - The movies. 1340 01:38:05,565 --> 01:38:07,316 - Took the bus. - Coffee. 1341 01:38:07,400 --> 01:38:09,528 Wait a second. 1342 01:38:09,611 --> 01:38:11,948 Who the fuck was in that car? 1343 01:38:18,830 --> 01:38:20,956 Oh, Finchy, I missed you. 1344 01:38:22,501 --> 01:38:25,712 Oh, Jeanine. Jeanine. 1345 01:38:25,795 --> 01:38:27,631 Call me Stifler's mom. 1346 01:38:29,800 --> 01:38:32,804 Oh, Stifler's mom! 99662

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.