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1
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,271
- Sure you don't wanna go to my room?
- No. Why?
2
00:01:12,354 --> 00:01:15,023
My roommate's already moved out.
We'll be all alone.
3
00:01:15,107 --> 00:01:16,691
- all right.
- The door is locked.
4
00:01:16,775 --> 00:01:18,653
- Okay, Jim, relax. Relax.
- Okay, yeah, sure.
5
00:01:18,736 --> 00:01:21,863
No strings attached, okay?
lt's just friendly goodbye sex.
6
00:01:21,946 --> 00:01:24,450
Yeah, right.
Right, right, right, right.
7
00:01:25,535 --> 00:01:28,078
But you see,
it's just that...
8
00:01:28,161 --> 00:01:31,082
we've never even had
friendly hello sex.
9
00:01:31,165 --> 00:01:34,794
- So do you not wanna do this?
- Oh, no, no, no.
10
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,467
Oh, I do. Yeah.
No, I definitely do.
11
00:01:39,256 --> 00:01:41,133
It's just that...
12
00:01:41,218 --> 00:01:43,554
you see, this is actually
my first time.
13
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,723
Well, not my first.
It's my first time...
14
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:49,353
since my first time.
15
00:01:50,437 --> 00:01:52,605
So, technically,
that's my second time.
16
00:01:52,689 --> 00:01:55,859
And I don't...
I don't wanna suck at it.
17
00:01:55,943 --> 00:01:58,361
So if I'm not up to par,
performance-wise...
18
00:01:58,987 --> 00:02:02,116
Jim, this isn't exactly a turn-on.
19
00:02:02,198 --> 00:02:04,910
I mean, girls like a guy
with confidence.
20
00:02:06,329 --> 00:02:07,622
Hey, I'm confident.
21
00:02:07,705 --> 00:02:11,877
Oh, I am... I'm absolutely,
totally confident.
22
00:02:13,337 --> 00:02:15,130
- Let's get naked.
- Okay.
23
00:02:18,132 --> 00:02:21,762
Seems like just yesterday my dad picked
me up after my first year at college.
24
00:02:22,931 --> 00:02:24,974
We popped a couple of beers...
25
00:02:25,058 --> 00:02:27,393
and he said,
''Now, you're a man.''
26
00:02:27,476 --> 00:02:29,813
And today I get to say
the same thing to my son.
27
00:02:29,896 --> 00:02:31,982
Honey, your speeches
embarrass him.
28
00:02:32,066 --> 00:02:35,237
So, try and do what the kids say,
and just be cool.
29
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,947
I think I bring new meaning
to the word ''cool,'' honey.
30
00:02:39,030 --> 00:02:40,699
That's his dormitory up ahead.
31
00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:58,135
Turn over.
32
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:08,064
- Can't bring alcohol in the dorms.
- Good.
33
00:03:08,147 --> 00:03:12,276
Thank you, Matt. I'm just here
to surprise my son Jim.
34
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,487
- Now pin my leg up.
- What?
35
00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:17,072
Pin my leg up, like this.
36
00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:22,913
Maybe you can help
me out, you know.
37
00:03:26,875 --> 00:03:28,461
Is that the one? No.
38
00:03:28,544 --> 00:03:29,461
There!
39
00:03:33,592 --> 00:03:34,927
Now I remember.
40
00:03:37,135 --> 00:03:39,471
I didn't do this for you.
41
00:03:39,555 --> 00:03:41,141
Thanks, dude.
42
00:03:42,684 --> 00:03:45,312
- Where's my big guy?
- Oh, my God!
43
00:03:50,108 --> 00:03:52,696
- Jesus!
- Jim, we got here a little early.
44
00:03:52,779 --> 00:03:54,948
- Dad, get out!
- I'll wait in the car.
45
00:03:55,033 --> 00:03:56,533
Go, Dad!
Oh, my...
46
00:03:58,201 --> 00:03:59,660
- Jeez!
- Was that your dad?
47
00:03:59,953 --> 00:04:02,163
- I'm so sorry.
- For your own edification...
48
00:04:02,247 --> 00:04:03,623
son, I'm not embarrassed.
49
00:04:03,706 --> 00:04:04,750
I am!
50
00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:08,880
It's a perfectly normal thing
for two human beings to do.
51
00:04:08,963 --> 00:04:11,048
This is human nature...
human nature at its best.
52
00:04:11,131 --> 00:04:15,344
Son, everybody does it. Your mother
and I... Well, not so much any more.
53
00:04:15,427 --> 00:04:17,806
Got your favourite.
Oh, my God! They're fucking!
54
00:04:17,889 --> 00:04:21,101
Honey, honey, listen.
I'm gonna take her...
55
00:04:21,185 --> 00:04:23,895
- Please just go!
- Actually, if you wouldn't mind.
56
00:04:23,979 --> 00:04:26,399
Honey...
I'll take her to the car.
57
00:04:28,484 --> 00:04:30,195
- Hi, Mama.
- What?
58
00:04:30,278 --> 00:04:31,530
Natalie!
59
00:04:31,614 --> 00:04:33,032
I'm Jim's dad.
60
00:04:33,116 --> 00:04:34,698
You must be the parents
of this young lady.
61
00:04:35,198 --> 00:04:38,036
I'm sorry I didn't get her name,
but hopefully my son did...
62
00:04:38,454 --> 00:04:40,039
because I have not been
here the whole time.
63
00:04:40,123 --> 00:04:42,333
Natalie, get dressed!
64
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:45,087
- Beer?
- Avert your eyes! Turn around!
65
00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:47,254
- Thanks, Jim. Don't believe in locks?
- Oh, my God!
66
00:05:07,694 --> 00:05:08,987
Hey, fuckface.
67
00:05:09,070 --> 00:05:12,948
- Mornin', dude.
- Come on, Ozzy. It's show time.
68
00:05:15,869 --> 00:05:18,331
Before you go to Ann Arbor
to pick up Heather...
69
00:05:18,415 --> 00:05:20,375
I wanna show you
what you're missing.
70
00:05:22,126 --> 00:05:24,838
See what they are today, dude.
See what they are today.
71
00:05:24,921 --> 00:05:27,174
Okay, here we go.
Moment of truth.
72
00:05:31,304 --> 00:05:33,972
- There's little hearts on her panties!
- Super.
73
00:05:34,055 --> 00:05:36,892
There's little hearts on her panties!
Come on, look, you pussy. Look.
74
00:05:36,976 --> 00:05:39,394
What the fuck, man?
Come on!
75
00:05:39,479 --> 00:05:40,981
I'm disappointed in you.
76
00:05:41,064 --> 00:05:43,985
Here it is, the end of our freshman year
and you screwed one girl.
77
00:05:44,068 --> 00:05:46,152
One.
78
00:05:46,235 --> 00:05:48,154
You're a disgrace
to men everywhere.
79
00:05:48,238 --> 00:05:51,243
Look at the Stifmeister.
I got laid 23 times this year...
80
00:05:51,326 --> 00:05:54,703
and I'm not counting the hummer
I got in the library stacks, baby.
81
00:05:54,787 --> 00:05:57,498
All right, here's a new idea
for you, Stifler, okay?
82
00:05:57,582 --> 00:05:59,750
You find a girl.
You two become best friends.
83
00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:02,713
You don't bother counting how many
times you have sex with each other.
84
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:06,425
- You laugh at the people who do count.
- Here's a new idea for you.
85
00:06:06,509 --> 00:06:08,928
I'll get you a spoon
so you can eat my ass.
86
00:06:13,390 --> 00:06:16,102
I'm never even gonna think
about political science again.
87
00:06:16,185 --> 00:06:18,187
Hey. How'd you do?
88
00:06:18,271 --> 00:06:20,398
- Fine.
- Yeah?
89
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:24,195
Can't believe I'm going abroad for summer.
Last thing I need is more classes.
90
00:06:24,278 --> 00:06:27,198
- You're gonna have a great time.
- Hello, summer!
91
00:06:28,450 --> 00:06:31,201
- Did that exam blow or what?
- Yeah, it sucked.
92
00:06:32,285 --> 00:06:34,163
- Kev, what's up, man? How are you?
- Good.
93
00:06:34,246 --> 00:06:36,416
Put your party hat on.
94
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,960
- We got 12 weeks of immortality ahead.
- Yes, sir!
95
00:06:47,846 --> 00:06:49,389
Weird.
96
00:07:05,906 --> 00:07:08,743
The one that got away, huh, son?
97
00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:17,918
Well, evidently you two...
98
00:07:18,003 --> 00:07:20,589
made quite the handsome couple
on the Internet.
99
00:07:23,592 --> 00:07:25,094
I didn't see it.
100
00:07:25,177 --> 00:07:28,683
It was brought up
at a PTA meeting.
101
00:07:28,766 --> 00:07:31,642
Anyway, my point is...
102
00:07:31,725 --> 00:07:34,562
these little sexual debacles
should not get you down...
103
00:07:34,646 --> 00:07:36,314
because you know what?
104
00:07:36,398 --> 00:07:38,150
It happens to the best of us.
105
00:07:38,234 --> 00:07:40,486
In fact...
106
00:07:40,570 --> 00:07:43,531
the first time
your mother and I...
107
00:07:43,614 --> 00:07:45,283
got together...
108
00:07:45,366 --> 00:07:46,618
I used a condom.
109
00:07:46,702 --> 00:07:50,622
Well, she referred to it
as ''shrink wrapping.''
110
00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,918
But I got over it.
111
00:07:55,002 --> 00:07:57,212
Anyway, keep your chin up.
You keep plugging...
112
00:07:57,295 --> 00:07:59,840
and good things will happen.
113
00:07:59,925 --> 00:08:02,469
Good to have you home, son.
114
00:08:06,348 --> 00:08:08,933
It's good to be home, Dad.
115
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,854
It's gonna be nice to hit Stifler's
tonight after exams.
116
00:08:11,937 --> 00:08:15,190
- Did you get through 'em?
- There's the mystery man!
117
00:08:15,274 --> 00:08:16,942
Finch, how are you?
118
00:08:23,742 --> 00:08:25,160
It's Japanese.
119
00:08:25,244 --> 00:08:28,495
It means ''hello.''
Hello.
120
00:08:28,578 --> 00:08:33,127
- Finch, what happened to Latin?
- Met a Japanese girl at the art museum.
121
00:08:33,210 --> 00:08:35,254
Changed majors.
122
00:08:35,337 --> 00:08:37,507
Wanted to understand
the things she was moaning.
123
00:08:37,591 --> 00:08:40,427
- You got laid in an art museum?
- The Met.
124
00:08:40,510 --> 00:08:43,972
- And the Guggenheim with Francesca.
- The Guggenheim?
125
00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:47,099
And then my social-psych professor
in Baskin-Robbins.
126
00:08:47,183 --> 00:08:48,685
All right, enough.
127
00:08:48,768 --> 00:08:52,690
But I'll tell you,
none of these women even compare to...
128
00:08:52,773 --> 00:08:54,274
Stifler's mom.
129
00:08:55,693 --> 00:08:57,862
Stifler's mom is a goddess.
130
00:09:02,825 --> 00:09:05,746
How about some more of Stifmeister's
collegiate concoction?
131
00:09:05,829 --> 00:09:09,583
This thing is like half alcohol.
You're just trying to get me drunk.
132
00:09:10,543 --> 00:09:13,087
Mary, would I do that?
133
00:09:13,170 --> 00:09:17,717
- My name's Christy.
- Christy, right. Beautiful name.
134
00:09:17,801 --> 00:09:19,261
Like it matters.
135
00:09:19,345 --> 00:09:21,304
Hey, how you doing?
136
00:09:21,388 --> 00:09:23,558
Howdy-howdy, fuckin' partners!
137
00:09:23,641 --> 00:09:26,100
Johnny C., how's it going?
Good to see you.
138
00:09:27,185 --> 00:09:29,313
Looks like someone
gained the freshman 15.
139
00:09:29,396 --> 00:09:31,399
- This'll help.
- You're an asshole.
140
00:09:31,482 --> 00:09:32,733
Missed you too.
141
00:09:32,816 --> 00:09:36,697
All right, everybody
having a good time? Ladies?
142
00:09:37,823 --> 00:09:40,158
Fellas! How's it going?
143
00:09:40,241 --> 00:09:42,786
The keg's back there
as always. Enjoy.
144
00:09:42,871 --> 00:09:48,125
Ladies, I'm Steve Stifler
and I have an 11 -inch penis...
145
00:09:48,209 --> 00:09:50,336
around!
146
00:09:50,419 --> 00:09:53,672
Think about it.
Sherman!
147
00:09:53,756 --> 00:09:56,843
Okay, Stifler, take your shot.
Ha, ha.
148
00:09:56,928 --> 00:09:59,931
Come on, man.
I'm really happy to see you.
149
00:10:01,139 --> 00:10:02,516
All right.
150
00:10:02,599 --> 00:10:04,436
You stupid fuck!
151
00:10:06,227 --> 00:10:09,044
Back at Stifler's.
It's just like old times.
152
00:10:09,128 --> 00:10:12,131
One difference.
We're college men now.
153
00:10:12,214 --> 00:10:14,633
Some of these girls
are from the grade below us.
154
00:10:14,717 --> 00:10:16,886
I might actually have a chance.
155
00:10:17,846 --> 00:10:19,848
Hey, I remember you.
156
00:10:22,268 --> 00:10:23,728
Do you now?
157
00:10:23,812 --> 00:10:26,396
You're that guy who blew
his load on the Internet.
158
00:10:28,231 --> 00:10:31,151
Splat. ''Oh, wait, Nadia,
don't go.'' Splat.
159
00:10:32,987 --> 00:10:34,698
- Pathetic.
- Loser.
160
00:10:35,324 --> 00:10:37,367
It's exactly like old times.
161
00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:42,832
- I'm gonna miss you.
- I'll miss you.
162
00:10:44,832 --> 00:10:46,919
I'll call you
when I get in, okay?
163
00:10:47,003 --> 00:10:48,337
Go have fun.
164
00:10:49,422 --> 00:10:50,840
Bye.
165
00:11:03,645 --> 00:11:05,522
I can't believe
those two girls, Kevin.
166
00:11:05,606 --> 00:11:07,525
Jim, it's not a big deal.
167
00:11:07,608 --> 00:11:10,028
They toyed with my emotions.
168
00:11:11,194 --> 00:11:13,281
- Hello. Hello.
- See? There's other girls.
169
00:11:13,364 --> 00:11:17,244
- How are you?
- You got nothing to worry about, man.
170
00:11:17,327 --> 00:11:19,329
Jessica's here.
171
00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:21,917
With Vicky.
172
00:11:22,585 --> 00:11:26,879
And Vicky got hot!
173
00:11:26,962 --> 00:11:29,549
What's that supposed to mean?
174
00:11:29,632 --> 00:11:30,884
Look at her.
175
00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:34,554
- Yeah, Jim, I see her.
- Hey, Kevin.
176
00:11:35,597 --> 00:11:37,474
I'll be right back.
177
00:11:40,187 --> 00:11:42,813
- Hey, Vic, how are you?
- What's up?
178
00:11:42,896 --> 00:11:44,857
- I'm okay.
- Yeah, I'm good.
179
00:11:44,941 --> 00:11:45,984
That's good.
180
00:11:46,067 --> 00:11:48,278
- It's good to hear.
- Yeah, you too.
181
00:11:49,570 --> 00:11:51,155
Wow.
182
00:11:51,239 --> 00:11:54,035
Well, this is about as comfortable
as a high colonic in Tijuana.
183
00:11:54,118 --> 00:11:57,163
And I would know.
Okay.
184
00:11:57,247 --> 00:12:00,166
- I'm gonna get a drink.
- She's right.
185
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:03,669
- Why is this so weird?
- Actually, I have no idea.
186
00:12:03,752 --> 00:12:07,173
See, I knew it.
I knew you'd be mature about this.
187
00:12:07,257 --> 00:12:09,426
You know, and we could
still be friends, right?
188
00:12:10,510 --> 00:12:12,429
I miss you, Kev.
189
00:12:15,891 --> 00:12:17,018
Whoa.
190
00:12:18,603 --> 00:12:21,190
Friends, right?
191
00:12:21,271 --> 00:12:25,819
Yeah, right. I mean, I know you said
friends and I... I just...
192
00:12:26,695 --> 00:12:29,280
I'm sorry.
I was... It was just...
193
00:12:29,364 --> 00:12:32,201
an old habit...
a friend kiss.
194
00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:33,744
Are you sure?
195
00:12:33,828 --> 00:12:36,538
Vic, why wouldn't I wanna
be friends with you?
196
00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:40,044
Look, we'll...
we'll just do this, okay?
197
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,004
- Friends.
- Friends.
198
00:12:51,117 --> 00:12:53,371
Stifler's mom's room.
199
00:13:08,552 --> 00:13:11,181
How did you do
that magic you did?
200
00:13:29,702 --> 00:13:31,287
Tantra.
201
00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:38,379
What the fuck
are you doin' in here?
202
00:13:39,005 --> 00:13:41,214
- Just relax.
- You get out of my house!
203
00:13:41,297 --> 00:13:43,799
- Jesus Christ!
- Come back here, you little fucker!
204
00:13:43,882 --> 00:13:46,052
Come back here,
you son of a bitch!
205
00:13:47,137 --> 00:13:49,473
Easy! That's enough.
206
00:13:49,556 --> 00:13:52,268
Okay, guys, we went through this
last summer, all right?
207
00:13:52,351 --> 00:13:54,646
Finch got a black eye
and Stifler got six stitches.
208
00:13:54,728 --> 00:13:56,105
'Cause he fuckin' bit me!
209
00:13:56,188 --> 00:13:57,649
You touch me, I bite.
210
00:13:57,733 --> 00:14:01,027
- You two relax and shake hands.
- Shake this.
211
00:14:05,032 --> 00:14:06,449
I need a drink.
212
00:14:06,532 --> 00:14:09,495
Why is everybody
taking a piss right now?
213
00:14:09,578 --> 00:14:13,207
- Line's too long. I ain't gonna make it.
- You'll be okay. Relax.
214
00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:16,837
Hey, bro. Hey, man, you're
the guy who boned Stifler's mom.
215
00:14:16,921 --> 00:14:19,880
- Hey, you are a god.
- Holy shit, dude.
216
00:14:19,963 --> 00:14:23,802
If I didn't have to hold my dick 'cause
I gotta piss, I would shake your hand.
217
00:14:23,885 --> 00:14:26,346
- I'm honoured, guys.
- Don't leave.
218
00:14:26,429 --> 00:14:29,183
You must teach me.
How?
219
00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:30,142
How?
220
00:14:31,935 --> 00:14:34,063
Look what I found, Christy.
221
00:14:35,148 --> 00:14:36,817
What a coincidence.
222
00:14:40,779 --> 00:14:43,908
I've been saving this
for a special occasion...
223
00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:47,285
for a special girl,
just like you.
224
00:14:48,246 --> 00:14:50,790
- You're so sweet.
- That's what they say.
225
00:14:50,873 --> 00:14:52,292
Weird.
226
00:14:53,376 --> 00:14:55,671
- Oh, my God.
- I spilled some on you.
227
00:14:55,754 --> 00:14:58,005
- Maybe I should mop that up.
- Thanks.
228
00:14:58,088 --> 00:14:59,382
No problem.
229
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:01,135
Whoa! Whoa, hey.
230
00:15:01,218 --> 00:15:04,388
- Take it slow. Come on.
- Right.
231
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:07,808
You know, they warn us
about these situations in college.
232
00:15:08,602 --> 00:15:12,898
Now, you may be intoxicated.
233
00:15:12,981 --> 00:15:14,942
Oh, yeah.
234
00:15:15,026 --> 00:15:17,777
Are you certain that you wish
to engage in consenting...
235
00:15:17,860 --> 00:15:20,405
Hey, don't count
your chickens, buster.
236
00:15:20,489 --> 00:15:24,701
- I'm just playing by the rules, baby.
- I make the rules.
237
00:15:24,786 --> 00:15:27,038
That's a pretty good fucking rule.
238
00:15:31,835 --> 00:15:34,589
Dude, the line's too long.
I'll never make it.
239
00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,589
It's gotta happen now.
Get my back.
240
00:15:44,098 --> 00:15:46,017
- Clamp it off.
- Hello.
241
00:15:47,435 --> 00:15:49,771
- How are you?
- Awesome.
242
00:15:50,981 --> 00:15:52,900
- How are you?
- I'm really good.
243
00:15:52,983 --> 00:15:56,445
How 'bout I give you
a little champagne?
244
00:15:56,528 --> 00:15:58,405
Go downstairs and get us some beers?
245
00:15:58,656 --> 00:16:01,827
I've got a surprise for you.
Close your eyes and get ready.
246
00:16:01,909 --> 00:16:03,535
I'm ready.
247
00:16:05,705 --> 00:16:08,209
- You want a beer?
- Yeah, all right.
248
00:16:12,588 --> 00:16:14,048
Okay, go.
249
00:16:17,217 --> 00:16:19,887
This is kind of kinky,
and I like that.
250
00:16:25,477 --> 00:16:28,271
That's it.
Bathe the Stifmeister.
251
00:16:31,901 --> 00:16:33,653
Oh, that's great!
252
00:16:33,737 --> 00:16:35,904
That's great.
253
00:16:35,987 --> 00:16:38,032
How did you get it
so nice and warm?
254
00:16:42,078 --> 00:16:44,164
I can taste the bubbles.
255
00:16:47,334 --> 00:16:48,586
Actually, I can't.
256
00:16:54,048 --> 00:16:55,759
Much better.
257
00:16:58,763 --> 00:17:00,015
Wait a second.
258
00:17:00,099 --> 00:17:02,892
- Let's go.
- Thanks, man.
259
00:17:05,103 --> 00:17:06,771
Christy?
260
00:17:08,983 --> 00:17:10,986
Oh, fuck!
261
00:17:13,051 --> 00:17:14,717
Okay, now...
262
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,262
do these high school kids
think we're cool...
263
00:17:17,345 --> 00:17:19,390
because they're at
a college party...
264
00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:22,643
or are we those weird older guys...
265
00:17:22,727 --> 00:17:25,272
that try to hang out with
high school kids when we come home?
266
00:17:25,355 --> 00:17:28,525
No way. We're definitely
not those guys.
267
00:17:28,608 --> 00:17:29,985
Cops! Cops!
268
00:17:31,446 --> 00:17:33,155
Break it up.
Party's over.
269
00:17:33,947 --> 00:17:35,283
Let's go.
270
00:17:35,366 --> 00:17:37,576
Ostreicher, Myers.
271
00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:39,328
Welcome back.
272
00:17:39,411 --> 00:17:41,622
Where's Steve Stifler?
273
00:17:47,796 --> 00:17:49,757
I got peed on.
274
00:17:51,175 --> 00:17:54,052
No, man,
Stifler's got shut down.
275
00:17:54,135 --> 00:17:56,973
We can't party anywhere any more.
276
00:17:57,056 --> 00:17:59,518
And things are...
277
00:17:59,601 --> 00:18:02,895
- Getting weird?
- Yeah, a little bit.
278
00:18:02,979 --> 00:18:05,398
First summer back from college.
279
00:18:05,482 --> 00:18:08,277
Yep, things are gonna get weirder.
280
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:11,737
- What are you talkin' about?
- Well, times change, people change.
281
00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:13,740
lt's just what happens,
you now.
282
00:18:13,824 --> 00:18:17,412
Kev, listen.
Go into my old room.
283
00:18:17,495 --> 00:18:21,083
My friends and I knew that
it was up to us to stick together.
284
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:24,919
You remember my first college summer?
We rented the lake house in Grand Harbour.
285
00:18:25,002 --> 00:18:28,132
We treated every day out there
lie it was a post-prom party.
286
00:18:28,215 --> 00:18:31,094
Hell of a time. We capped it
all off with a massive blow-out.
287
00:18:31,175 --> 00:18:33,262
Best ever.
it was legendary.
288
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,682
My advice is do that.
By the end of the summer...
289
00:18:35,765 --> 00:18:38,642
you're gonna see the big picture.
290
00:18:53,576 --> 00:18:57,080
- She's on the phone. It's long-distance.
- Who?
291
00:18:57,164 --> 00:18:58,789
- Nadia! Nadia!
- What?
292
00:18:58,873 --> 00:19:02,586
New York. Hello.
Yes, dear, he's right here.
293
00:19:02,669 --> 00:19:04,713
- Here. Wait.
- Now remember...
294
00:19:04,796 --> 00:19:07,968
Yes, I am sure to go see
the Lion King.
295
00:19:08,052 --> 00:19:11,136
Right. and don't ride
the subway after midnight.
296
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:14,974
I know they've done wonderful things
with that city, but, you know, for me...
297
00:19:15,058 --> 00:19:18,186
- Dad!
- He's right... Hang on.
298
00:19:23,442 --> 00:19:26,446
- How was college?
- College was excellent.
299
00:19:26,530 --> 00:19:29,491
Yeah. Yeah, it was...
it was really excellent.
300
00:19:29,573 --> 00:19:32,201
You have not forgotten
about me, have you?
301
00:19:32,286 --> 00:19:35,622
No. I...
Absolutely not.
302
00:19:35,706 --> 00:19:39,001
- l definitely didn't.
- Good, because guess what.
303
00:19:39,085 --> 00:19:41,296
I'm coming to see you
at the end of summer.
304
00:19:41,379 --> 00:19:43,923
l hope you're ready for me...
305
00:19:44,007 --> 00:19:48,637
because l have not forgotten
about you either, you sexy boy.
306
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:51,347
- Shit.
- Jim, you can eat hot dogs tomorrow.
307
00:19:51,431 --> 00:19:54,810
No, Finch,
it's not the hot dogs.
308
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,811
Nadia called me this morning.
309
00:19:56,894 --> 00:20:00,065
She's coming here at the end of
the summer and she wants to see me.
310
00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:03,319
- That's killer.
- Yeah, that's a good thing.
311
00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:06,281
No, not ''good thing.''
Not ''killer.''
312
00:20:06,365 --> 00:20:08,490
I'll never be able to do it.
313
00:20:08,573 --> 00:20:12,453
Nadia is gonna be expecting
filet mignon.
314
00:20:12,537 --> 00:20:17,042
Okay, and all I'm gonna
be able to give her...
315
00:20:17,126 --> 00:20:18,712
is rump roast.
316
00:20:20,463 --> 00:20:22,298
Come on.
317
00:20:22,381 --> 00:20:24,843
Jim, you've had experience
since Nadia.
318
00:20:24,926 --> 00:20:26,846
Ah, yes, you would be
referring to...
319
00:20:26,929 --> 00:20:30,306
the flute-fetish band geek that made me
her bitch, then ditched me after prom.
320
00:20:30,391 --> 00:20:32,476
Yes, that's great experience.
321
00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:36,062
You just gotta
find the right girl, Jimbo.
322
00:20:36,146 --> 00:20:38,149
- Brings it all together.
- I had the right woman.
323
00:20:38,233 --> 00:20:42,321
She just sells her cottage
and takes off to parts unknown.
324
00:20:43,364 --> 00:20:45,991
My romantic life
has passed its peak.
325
00:20:46,074 --> 00:20:48,243
Take me out to the pasture
and shoot me.
326
00:20:48,326 --> 00:20:53,040
Super start to a super summer, fellas.
Welcome home.
327
00:20:54,750 --> 00:20:58,505
Guys, I got it.
Pack your bags.
328
00:20:58,588 --> 00:20:59,840
For what?
329
00:20:59,924 --> 00:21:02,008
We're moving to the lake.
330
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:08,473
We're gonna be the shit.
Everybody on the beach is gonna know us.
331
00:21:08,556 --> 00:21:11,268
Plenty of opportunities
to practise for Nadia.
332
00:21:11,351 --> 00:21:14,606
Throw a huge party at the end
of the summer to cap it all off.
333
00:21:14,689 --> 00:21:18,319
Dude, that's a great idea. That way
we'll be able to welcome Heather back...
334
00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:21,446
and we'll be able to prepare
for Nadia's big arrival.
335
00:21:21,529 --> 00:21:25,159
This is it.
This is my summer of love.
336
00:21:25,243 --> 00:21:27,452
Just thought I'd say
goodbye to you animals.
337
00:21:27,535 --> 00:21:29,789
Hey, Mr Levenstein.
How are you, sir?
338
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:34,126
- All packed up, I see.
- We're all set, Dad.
339
00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:36,713
Don't worry, okay?
I'll be fine.
340
00:21:36,797 --> 00:21:38,758
Come on and give
your old man a hug.
341
00:21:50,478 --> 00:21:52,064
Keep it real, homies.
342
00:21:52,147 --> 00:21:54,356
You too, sir.
Have a good summer.
343
00:21:55,399 --> 00:21:57,653
All right, let's go.
344
00:21:57,736 --> 00:21:59,571
I've been running
these numbers here...
345
00:21:59,654 --> 00:22:02,199
and I don't think the four of us
can afford this place.
346
00:22:02,284 --> 00:22:06,035
- Not on summer jobs.
- Well, I kinda thought of that.
347
00:22:06,703 --> 00:22:10,249
So, I invited someone else.
348
00:22:12,544 --> 00:22:16,465
Oh, yeah! The Stifmeister's
coming back to Grand Harbour!
349
00:22:16,549 --> 00:22:19,050
Deck the halls!
Bye-bye, Great Falls!
350
00:22:19,134 --> 00:22:21,387
Wipe my ass and lick my balls!
351
00:22:21,471 --> 00:22:23,766
It's Stifler time, baby!
352
00:22:37,863 --> 00:22:42,410
Stifler, if you're gonna be living
with us, you gotta behave yourself.
353
00:22:42,494 --> 00:22:46,372
All right, you and Finch
just stay out of each other's way.
354
00:22:46,455 --> 00:22:49,209
Kevin, Stifler's stench
is unavoidable.
355
00:22:49,293 --> 00:22:51,377
Finch, fist yourself.
356
00:22:53,547 --> 00:22:55,632
That's right, baby.
We're here.
357
00:22:56,301 --> 00:22:58,428
Yeah, baby, we're here!
358
00:23:25,707 --> 00:23:28,585
- It's a palace.
- It's a temple.
359
00:23:31,505 --> 00:23:33,424
Isn't this great?
360
00:23:34,509 --> 00:23:36,260
Are you kidding me?
361
00:23:52,570 --> 00:23:54,197
This just won't do.
362
00:24:27,942 --> 00:24:29,401
Guys.
363
00:24:31,863 --> 00:24:34,616
Check this out.
This is it.
364
00:24:45,879 --> 00:24:48,506
Will you idiots tell me
what this fucker's doin'?
365
00:24:55,305 --> 00:24:57,016
Don't touch me
while I'm tantric.
366
00:24:57,099 --> 00:25:00,601
''Tantric?''
What the fuck is tantric?
367
00:25:00,684 --> 00:25:02,353
It's a Buddhist discipline.
368
00:25:02,437 --> 00:25:07,109
You learn to channel
your body's energies... your chakras.
369
00:25:07,193 --> 00:25:11,073
When you can do that, you can have sex
for hours, even days.
370
00:25:11,156 --> 00:25:12,700
And this stuff's for real?
371
00:25:12,783 --> 00:25:15,201
It's been around for centuries.
372
00:25:15,285 --> 00:25:17,663
With tantra you can make
an entire session of sex...
373
00:25:17,746 --> 00:25:20,665
feel like one giant orgasm.
374
00:25:20,750 --> 00:25:24,587
Eventually, you can sustain
that feeling by meditating.
375
00:25:24,670 --> 00:25:27,923
- Maybe you can teach me sometime?
- Very doubtful.
376
00:25:28,007 --> 00:25:30,218
- True.
- Come on, Jim.
377
00:25:30,301 --> 00:25:33,556
- You can't possibly be that bad.
- Oh, no?
378
00:25:33,639 --> 00:25:35,850
No way.
379
00:25:35,933 --> 00:25:39,728
I guess there's only one person
that really knows for sure, huh?
380
00:25:39,811 --> 00:25:42,398
Oh, yeah?
Where is she this summer?
381
00:25:56,290 --> 00:25:59,582
Hey, are you here for
the mid-session performance?
382
00:25:59,665 --> 00:26:01,793
Guests go in the amphitheatre.
You can't be here.
383
00:26:01,877 --> 00:26:03,838
Do you know where I could find
Michele Flaherty?
384
00:26:03,921 --> 00:26:06,925
Guests bring food.
Food attracts animals. This one time...
385
00:26:07,008 --> 00:26:09,387
a bear came, and then the bear
had to be destroyed...
386
00:26:09,471 --> 00:26:12,389
which means they shot it in the head
with a rifle and killed it and it died.
387
00:26:13,140 --> 00:26:15,059
You must know Michele.
388
00:26:15,142 --> 00:26:17,312
One, two, three, four.
389
00:26:35,623 --> 00:26:37,459
That's a lot of flutes.
390
00:26:42,130 --> 00:26:44,217
Good luck. Thanks.
391
00:26:44,299 --> 00:26:47,010
Good job.
Have fun at your next class.
392
00:26:53,184 --> 00:26:55,104
Jim. Holy potatoes!
393
00:26:55,938 --> 00:26:58,397
You're really here?
394
00:26:58,480 --> 00:26:59,607
Oh, shoot!
395
00:26:59,691 --> 00:27:01,776
We're not supposed to
have visitors...
396
00:27:02,528 --> 00:27:05,113
'cause this one time, here...
397
00:27:05,531 --> 00:27:07,409
this kid had these cookies...
398
00:27:07,492 --> 00:27:10,285
Let me guess. A bear came.
399
00:27:10,369 --> 00:27:11,454
Cool.
400
00:27:11,537 --> 00:27:13,790
It's like you know
all our stories.
401
00:27:15,710 --> 00:27:17,669
Was that a question?
402
00:27:17,753 --> 00:27:19,796
I don't know. Maybe.
403
00:27:19,881 --> 00:27:22,132
Do you wanna answer it anyway?
404
00:27:23,466 --> 00:27:27,973
I left you like...
like three messages after prom.
405
00:27:28,056 --> 00:27:29,349
Really?
406
00:27:29,432 --> 00:27:32,185
You didn't think I was weird...
407
00:27:32,269 --> 00:27:34,771
because of the way
I acted that night?
408
00:27:34,855 --> 00:27:37,523
Weird, no.
409
00:27:37,607 --> 00:27:39,694
Surprising, yes.
410
00:27:39,777 --> 00:27:42,155
I get nasty when I'm horny.
411
00:27:42,239 --> 00:27:44,739
That's kind of why I'm here.
412
00:27:46,284 --> 00:27:49,704
You remember,
was I any good that night?
413
00:27:49,787 --> 00:27:52,833
Wow.Jeez.
414
00:27:52,917 --> 00:27:54,669
How could I forget?
415
00:27:54,752 --> 00:27:58,630
You sucked. You didn't know
what the hell you were doing.
416
00:27:58,713 --> 00:28:02,301
But wasn't it fun even though
you were so terrible?
417
00:28:02,384 --> 00:28:05,305
- I'm sorry. ''Terrible?''
- I've had worse.
418
00:28:07,975 --> 00:28:09,100
Sorry.
419
00:28:09,183 --> 00:28:12,396
I could give you
some pointers if you want.
420
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:13,815
Really?
421
00:28:15,606 --> 00:28:19,319
Shoot. Okay, wait here.
I'll meet you in an hour, okay?
422
00:28:19,402 --> 00:28:21,280
- Yeah.
- Wait.
423
00:28:21,364 --> 00:28:23,491
Cool idea.
424
00:28:32,669 --> 00:28:34,961
What are you doing?
425
00:28:37,464 --> 00:28:40,594
You're all right. Here we go. You know
you're not supposed to be here now.
426
00:28:40,677 --> 00:28:44,598
Everyone's supposed to be in
the amphitheatre. All right, come on.
427
00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:47,100
It's piss-poor to be this late.
I'm very angry right now.
428
00:28:47,184 --> 00:28:50,104
You can tell by the tone of my voice
I'm angry. I'm pissed off.
429
00:28:50,187 --> 00:28:52,441
Here they are. Got him home.
430
00:28:52,524 --> 00:28:54,523
Wait a minute.
Are you Petey?
431
00:28:56,318 --> 00:28:57,695
Yeah, sure.
432
00:28:57,779 --> 00:29:00,240
Petey!
Well, that explains everything.
433
00:29:00,324 --> 00:29:02,951
All right. Well, always something
with these kids. Go!
434
00:29:03,034 --> 00:29:07,247
We are just so thrilled to have you.
None of my kids are at your calibre.
435
00:29:07,331 --> 00:29:09,374
But we are just so overjoyed...
436
00:29:09,459 --> 00:29:11,795
to have someone
with your kind of talent here.
437
00:29:11,878 --> 00:29:13,587
Here you go.
438
00:29:13,670 --> 00:29:15,798
Look at this.
Your old best friend.
439
00:29:15,882 --> 00:29:17,759
I know it's not yours...
440
00:29:17,842 --> 00:29:19,928
but you are going to make
beautiful music.
441
00:29:20,011 --> 00:29:22,097
This is fantastic.
I'm very excited.
442
00:29:22,180 --> 00:29:25,559
You just own this
and break a leg.
443
00:29:43,453 --> 00:29:45,331
What was he doing
wandering unsupervised?
444
00:29:45,415 --> 00:29:47,166
Who knows?
445
00:29:47,249 --> 00:29:50,796
I'll tell you something. I'm about
fed up with these Tall Oaks North kids.
446
00:29:57,386 --> 00:30:00,347
Kids, entertain yourselves.
Play along with Petey.
447
00:30:00,430 --> 00:30:03,267
No, no, no, Petey.
Here we go.
448
00:30:03,351 --> 00:30:05,810
All right, all right.
Come on, now. A little encouragement.
449
00:30:08,731 --> 00:30:11,402
Folks, he's just a little nervous.
450
00:30:12,443 --> 00:30:14,279
This isn't right.
451
00:30:14,363 --> 00:30:16,281
Just blow on it, kid.
All right.
452
00:30:16,364 --> 00:30:17,950
Here we go.
453
00:30:29,838 --> 00:30:32,006
Play! Do something.
454
00:30:43,144 --> 00:30:45,146
Special, my ass.
455
00:30:45,230 --> 00:30:47,525
Come on. Give the little guy
some support.
456
00:30:49,903 --> 00:30:52,904
Come on, Petey.
You're doing great, partner.
457
00:30:54,322 --> 00:30:56,450
Come on, honey.
You can do it.
458
00:30:56,534 --> 00:30:58,160
Come on, Petey.
459
00:31:00,246 --> 00:31:01,832
What the hell.
460
00:31:05,919 --> 00:31:07,421
All right!
461
00:31:07,504 --> 00:31:11,466
All right, Petey!
Come on, now! Come on!
462
00:31:12,509 --> 00:31:14,344
Rock and roll!
463
00:31:57,475 --> 00:31:58,393
Thank you!
464
00:32:01,396 --> 00:32:03,315
Thank you, Tall Oaks.
You're beautiful.
465
00:32:08,655 --> 00:32:10,573
My name is Petey!
466
00:32:11,657 --> 00:32:14,119
Thank you!
467
00:32:14,911 --> 00:32:17,122
And I have gigantic balls!
468
00:32:34,849 --> 00:32:36,350
Not now!
Come back later. Go!
469
00:32:40,314 --> 00:32:42,650
Hey, hey, hey.
Come back here!
470
00:32:42,733 --> 00:32:45,987
- I wanna talk to you!
- You are so sweet.
471
00:32:46,071 --> 00:32:48,988
He is special.
472
00:32:49,406 --> 00:32:51,534
He's my bitch.
473
00:32:53,328 --> 00:32:55,705
Well, Michele has confirmed it.
474
00:32:55,788 --> 00:32:59,211
- I suck.
- What?
475
00:32:59,294 --> 00:33:02,087
I gotta get some practice.
476
00:33:02,170 --> 00:33:05,509
Don't worry about it. I mean,
that's why we got the house, Jimbo.
477
00:33:05,592 --> 00:33:09,888
We plop a keg on the deck
and the girls come in off the beach.
478
00:33:09,971 --> 00:33:13,058
It's like a hummingbird feeder.
479
00:33:13,141 --> 00:33:16,061
- You think so?
- I know so.
480
00:33:16,144 --> 00:33:18,064
Guaranteed hotties.
481
00:33:18,439 --> 00:33:20,775
Fellas, nice pad.
482
00:33:20,858 --> 00:33:23,819
Good view, but...
483
00:33:23,904 --> 00:33:27,323
the Sherminator sensors detect
no female life forms in the vicinity.
484
00:33:27,406 --> 00:33:31,745
High likelihood of
a sausage fest in progress.
485
00:33:31,829 --> 00:33:34,206
The girls are coming.
I made some calls.
486
00:33:36,542 --> 00:33:39,795
The Sherminator's got a point, Kev.
487
00:33:39,879 --> 00:33:43,884
Since when do you start listening
to the Sherminator?
488
00:33:43,968 --> 00:33:47,845
Since he made me realize
there's an abundance of wiener here.
489
00:33:47,929 --> 00:33:50,473
I mean, look around, dude.
490
00:33:50,557 --> 00:33:52,767
All right,
now it's your turn.
491
00:33:52,851 --> 00:33:54,812
Come on.
There's nothing to tell.
492
00:33:55,855 --> 00:33:58,400
Hey, what's up?
What are you guys talking about?
493
00:33:58,483 --> 00:34:00,694
You know, we're just trading
war stories about college...
494
00:34:00,777 --> 00:34:03,196
who hooked up with who,
who slept with who...
495
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:05,491
So, Vicky?
496
00:34:05,572 --> 00:34:09,577
Well, there was this one guy.
How 'bout you?
497
00:34:09,661 --> 00:34:12,288
You know, there was
a few girls...
498
00:34:12,371 --> 00:34:13,373
three.
499
00:34:13,456 --> 00:34:16,336
Look at you.
You stud.
500
00:34:17,755 --> 00:34:19,965
All right, Oz. Now that Kevin
told us, what about you?
501
00:34:20,048 --> 00:34:23,511
You haven't had the slightest bit
of attraction to any girl at school?
502
00:34:23,594 --> 00:34:26,471
Don't you fuckin' say no.
I know you did.
503
00:34:27,389 --> 00:34:29,475
Even if I did...
504
00:34:29,558 --> 00:34:32,687
it wouldn't be anything more
than just a momentary thing.
505
00:34:32,770 --> 00:34:35,773
Very uninteresting.
506
00:34:35,857 --> 00:34:38,819
How about you, Jessica? How many chicks
did you sleep with this year?
507
00:34:38,902 --> 00:34:40,738
Gee, wouldn't you like to know.
508
00:34:42,323 --> 00:34:43,783
Fuck yeah, I would.
509
00:34:45,658 --> 00:34:46,993
Come on, Ozzy.
510
00:34:47,077 --> 00:34:49,497
Yeah, man. Ball.
Pool's yours.
511
00:34:49,580 --> 00:34:52,500
- Hey, Vic, you wanna play?
- Yeah, sure. You wanna break?
512
00:34:58,339 --> 00:35:00,509
Where are the fuckin' females?
513
00:35:01,177 --> 00:35:05,305
Jim, can't you leave your shirt on?
You're scaring the chicks away.
514
00:35:05,764 --> 00:35:07,600
Dude, give him a break.
515
00:35:09,351 --> 00:35:10,852
Ozzy, go deep.
516
00:35:10,936 --> 00:35:13,523
- Yeah, bro. You playing?
- No.
517
00:35:15,984 --> 00:35:18,404
No, keep going.
Flank pattern.
518
00:35:18,487 --> 00:35:20,948
- What are you doin'?
- Fishin'.
519
00:35:28,623 --> 00:35:29,999
Are you okay?
520
00:35:31,708 --> 00:35:35,464
- You okay?
- I'm so sorry. Is everybody okay?
521
00:35:42,556 --> 00:35:43,930
Amazing.
522
00:35:46,809 --> 00:35:49,062
The Force is strong
in that one.
523
00:35:50,355 --> 00:35:51,439
Whoa.
524
00:35:52,483 --> 00:35:57,195
The Sherminator detects serious heat
at a distance of two metres.
525
00:35:57,279 --> 00:35:59,240
Preparing to deploy beer.
526
00:36:02,367 --> 00:36:05,914
Dude, let me give you a valuable
piece of advice, okay?
527
00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:07,623
Drop the whole
''Sherminator'' thing.
528
00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:09,834
Please repeat previous statement.
529
00:36:09,917 --> 00:36:12,796
Look, I know your last name
is Sherman, right?
530
00:36:12,921 --> 00:36:15,466
And that rhymes
with The Terminator...
531
00:36:15,549 --> 00:36:17,968
which was a big hit movie
ten years ago.
532
00:36:18,051 --> 00:36:20,888
But you can't tell me
a girl's ever really gone for it.
533
00:36:21,766 --> 00:36:24,976
System overload.
Hasta la vista, Jessica.
534
00:36:28,230 --> 00:36:29,481
Freak.
535
00:36:31,775 --> 00:36:34,654
Vic, hey, you guys are leaving?
536
00:36:34,738 --> 00:36:38,491
You know, we barely had a chance
to hang out, you know, catch up.
537
00:36:38,575 --> 00:36:41,910
- What are you doing this weekend?
- I can get together.
538
00:36:41,994 --> 00:36:44,246
- Cool. Let's hang out.
- All right.
539
00:36:44,330 --> 00:36:46,917
- Bye, Kev.
- See ya, Jess.
540
00:36:50,129 --> 00:36:52,924
No, no, that's all wrong.
541
00:36:53,006 --> 00:36:56,176
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
542
00:36:56,260 --> 00:36:59,180
- So what does he mean, ''meet up''?
- You know, like hang out...
543
00:36:59,264 --> 00:37:00,806
grab lunch, whatever.
544
00:37:00,890 --> 00:37:04,520
I told you, we're just friends now.
And he totally understands.
545
00:37:04,603 --> 00:37:08,231
- I'm sure he understands quite well.
- He does.
546
00:37:08,314 --> 00:37:12,613
Oh, no, sir. These are all
wrong for you. I mean, seriously.
547
00:37:13,946 --> 00:37:15,699
Sure. Well, we're friends.
548
00:37:15,783 --> 00:37:19,286
But it's not like I see her
making plans with anyone else.
549
00:37:19,369 --> 00:37:22,997
I don't see her with a boyfriend.
I think that puts me on deck.
550
00:37:24,124 --> 00:37:27,795
Hey, Vicky only slept with
one guy since we went out.
551
00:37:27,878 --> 00:37:32,300
I mean, that like makes me 50%
of her entire guy-related life.
552
00:37:32,384 --> 00:37:34,344
You dipshit.
553
00:37:34,427 --> 00:37:37,598
She didn't sleep with one guy.
She slept with at least three.
554
00:37:37,681 --> 00:37:39,309
What?
555
00:37:39,392 --> 00:37:41,475
When a girl tells you
how many guys she slept with...
556
00:37:41,559 --> 00:37:43,562
multiply it by three
and that's the real number.
557
00:37:43,645 --> 00:37:46,649
Didn't you fuckers
learn anything at college?
558
00:37:48,129 --> 00:37:52,488
- Kevin did not sleep with three girls.
- Why would he lie to me?
559
00:37:52,696 --> 00:37:55,658
It's not a lie. It's an adjustment.
The rule of three.
560
00:37:56,076 --> 00:37:58,016
- The rule of what?
- Three.
561
00:37:58,121 --> 00:38:01,414
If a guy tells you how many girls he's
been with, it's not even close to that.
562
00:38:01,519 --> 00:38:04,960
Take that number and divide it by three.
Then you get the real total.
563
00:38:05,065 --> 00:38:09,110
So, if Kevin's saying it's been three
girls, it's more like one, or none.
564
00:38:09,216 --> 00:38:11,425
- None?
- Rule of three.
565
00:38:11,531 --> 00:38:14,325
It's an exact science,
consistent as gravity.
566
00:38:27,068 --> 00:38:28,653
Oh, my God!
567
00:38:30,489 --> 00:38:33,451
Guys, check it out.
568
00:38:34,076 --> 00:38:36,496
Lesbians.
569
00:38:36,579 --> 00:38:38,390
Lesbians live here.
570
00:38:38,495 --> 00:38:40,999
You know,
Mr Homophobic Wizard...
571
00:38:41,082 --> 00:38:45,254
that it is possible for women
to hold hands and not be gay.
572
00:38:45,337 --> 00:38:46,923
Friends can hold hands.
573
00:38:47,006 --> 00:38:50,135
Hey, Finch, I don't wanna hear
about you and your boyfriends.
574
00:38:50,218 --> 00:38:53,430
- Go jerk off.
- Unnecessary.
575
00:38:53,514 --> 00:38:55,975
Tantra teaches you to hold
an orgasm over time...
576
00:38:56,059 --> 00:38:58,518
in anticipation
of an ultimate moment...
577
00:38:58,602 --> 00:39:01,022
to release it upon the world.
578
00:39:01,106 --> 00:39:03,357
I'm filling up to the brim.
579
00:39:03,441 --> 00:39:07,862
That's fucking disgusting!
I'm gonna throw up.
580
00:39:15,455 --> 00:39:17,205
Hey, Heather. You're in!
581
00:39:18,582 --> 00:39:20,126
How's the studying going?
582
00:39:20,209 --> 00:39:22,171
I'd hardly call it studying.
583
00:39:22,254 --> 00:39:24,172
I've been going
to the Picasso museum...
584
00:39:24,255 --> 00:39:26,633
hanging out
at Sagrada Familia...
585
00:39:26,716 --> 00:39:29,136
going with Pierre
to the Parc Guell.
586
00:39:29,220 --> 00:39:31,722
- Who's Pierre?
- One of the guys in the programme.
587
00:39:31,806 --> 00:39:34,643
He's got a girlfriend back in France, so
we've kind of got something in common.
588
00:39:34,727 --> 00:39:36,395
That sounds cool.
589
00:39:36,479 --> 00:39:40,732
Yeah, I've overheard them
on the phone at night.
590
00:39:40,815 --> 00:39:44,569
And, well, it made me think.
591
00:39:44,652 --> 00:39:48,532
Hey, Oz, l'm reaching under my shirt
and l'm rubbing myself.
592
00:39:50,284 --> 00:39:53,580
Oz, come on. It's phone sex.
Help me out here.
593
00:39:53,664 --> 00:39:55,123
Okay.
594
00:39:58,042 --> 00:40:01,004
I'm going over to my bed.
595
00:40:02,088 --> 00:40:04,424
and l'm lying down.
596
00:40:04,508 --> 00:40:06,969
And I'm slowly...
597
00:40:07,053 --> 00:40:10,431
reaching downstairs.
598
00:40:10,515 --> 00:40:12,266
Grab it.
Tell me how big it is.
599
00:40:13,644 --> 00:40:16,854
Listen, Heather,
I'm feeling kind of awkward.
600
00:40:16,937 --> 00:40:20,693
If we can't be with each other,
then we have to learn to be more vocal.
601
00:40:20,776 --> 00:40:23,195
- Right?
- Right. Okay.
602
00:40:23,278 --> 00:40:27,951
Okay, here we go.
I'm reaching in my pants now.
603
00:40:28,034 --> 00:40:29,744
And I'm rubbing it
for you, Heather.
604
00:40:29,828 --> 00:40:32,623
And it feels so good.
605
00:40:32,706 --> 00:40:34,998
- Yeah, me too.
- Oh, yeah.
606
00:40:35,081 --> 00:40:36,917
I got...
607
00:40:37,001 --> 00:40:38,211
Call waiting.
608
00:40:39,296 --> 00:40:41,006
Shit. Hello?
609
00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:44,761
Wrong number.
610
00:40:45,887 --> 00:40:47,805
Hey. Hello. Wrong number.
611
00:40:50,182 --> 00:40:53,395
All right, look, man. I got
my hand on my dick right now, okay...
612
00:40:53,479 --> 00:40:55,981
and I'm trying to have sex
with my girlfriend over the phone.
613
00:40:57,023 --> 00:40:58,984
Good for you, man.
614
00:41:03,489 --> 00:41:06,034
Sorry about that.
Where were we?
615
00:41:06,117 --> 00:41:08,453
I think you were
reaching for something.
616
00:41:08,537 --> 00:41:10,621
Oh, yeah.
617
00:41:10,705 --> 00:41:15,668
Oh, yeah, Heather. I'm rubbing it
and it feels so good.
618
00:41:16,629 --> 00:41:20,424
Hey, Oz, I'm touching myself.
What else do you want me to do?
619
00:41:20,508 --> 00:41:22,926
Heather, baby.
620
00:41:23,010 --> 00:41:25,806
Why don't you tell me my dick
is as big as Stifler's.
621
00:41:25,889 --> 00:41:26,973
Stifler, get off!
622
00:41:27,057 --> 00:41:30,228
I am getting off just listening
to the two of you guys.
623
00:41:30,311 --> 00:41:33,106
- Keep going.
- We should try this another time.
624
00:41:33,189 --> 00:41:36,107
Yeah, all right.
Bye. I love you.
625
00:41:36,191 --> 00:41:39,446
- I love you.
- Come on you, guys. I was almost there!
626
00:41:39,529 --> 00:41:42,532
- Nice talking with you, Steven.
- Stifler, man!
627
00:41:44,034 --> 00:41:45,535
Repressed.
628
00:41:55,295 --> 00:41:56,839
Check it out.
629
00:41:56,922 --> 00:41:59,257
Potential lesbians
leaving the building.
630
00:42:07,643 --> 00:42:09,561
All right.
Now is my chance.
631
00:42:09,645 --> 00:42:12,271
I need confirmation.
632
00:42:12,355 --> 00:42:14,441
Stifler. Hey, man,
what are you doing?
633
00:42:15,046 --> 00:42:16,236
Go get him.
634
00:42:16,319 --> 00:42:17,779
You ass.
Stifler, get out.
635
00:42:24,411 --> 00:42:27,999
Shit, dude!
I found a dildo!
636
00:42:29,083 --> 00:42:31,211
Big blue rubber dicks
for everyone!
637
00:42:31,357 --> 00:42:34,714
- The people demand rubber dicks!
- Finch, help.
638
00:42:34,797 --> 00:42:37,259
Dildo, dildo, dildo!
639
00:42:39,177 --> 00:42:42,264
- What are you doing?
- Looking for more lesbian artefacts.
640
00:42:43,641 --> 00:42:45,642
- Where'd you get this?
- Finch's ass.
641
00:42:46,935 --> 00:42:48,855
Shit! Guys, they're back.
642
00:42:51,481 --> 00:42:52,483
Stall 'em!
643
00:42:54,110 --> 00:42:55,444
Come on. Come on!
644
00:42:55,527 --> 00:42:58,531
- Come on. Come on.
- This is awesome!
645
00:42:58,614 --> 00:43:00,868
Danielle, Amber, hi.
646
00:43:00,951 --> 00:43:03,955
Just needed the paper, huh?
647
00:43:06,416 --> 00:43:10,045
- Which room?
- I can't remember. I was too excited.
648
00:43:10,128 --> 00:43:12,671
- I'm in a lesbian stronghold.
- Was it in here?
649
00:43:12,754 --> 00:43:16,093
- Why you asking me so many questions?
- Was it in here?
650
00:43:16,177 --> 00:43:18,886
- Maybe.
- Was it or was it not here?
651
00:43:18,970 --> 00:43:21,807
Happy painting, boys.
652
00:43:23,268 --> 00:43:25,310
You gotta get out of there.
They're inside.
653
00:43:25,395 --> 00:43:26,646
Oh, shit, balls!
654
00:43:32,067 --> 00:43:35,405
- Very original, Steven.
- Don't call me Steven.
655
00:43:48,963 --> 00:43:51,255
I can wear that
little leopard bikini of mine.
656
00:43:51,339 --> 00:43:54,008
I love that one.
It's so cute on you.
657
00:43:54,092 --> 00:43:55,636
Help me zip, please.
658
00:43:58,347 --> 00:44:02,477
- Did I show you my cute pink shoes?
- Does it match your pink bikini?
659
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,521
They're getting naked.
660
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:09,942
- Cute.
- Thank you.
661
00:44:17,743 --> 00:44:19,620
Shit. She's de-pantsing.
662
00:44:19,703 --> 00:44:21,498
Oh, man.
663
00:44:21,581 --> 00:44:25,711
Wait. They can't hear us inside?
We won't cross over their radio?
664
00:44:25,795 --> 00:44:28,963
No, man.
These work on a CB frequency.
665
00:44:29,046 --> 00:44:30,882
This girl is so hot.
666
00:44:35,887 --> 00:44:38,850
Two possible lesbians
in their bras and panties.
667
00:44:38,934 --> 00:44:40,060
Lesbians?
668
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:43,647
Did you say lesbians?
669
00:44:43,730 --> 00:44:45,149
Hot lesbians!
670
00:44:48,380 --> 00:44:50,425
This is not gonna fit.
Look at you and look at me.
671
00:44:50,508 --> 00:44:53,762
- Too big.
- I'll get you the blue stringy number.
672
00:44:56,556 --> 00:44:58,434
Johnny West is missing.
673
00:45:00,019 --> 00:45:02,146
Maybe you kicked it
under the bed.
674
00:45:04,232 --> 00:45:05,566
Okay, let me look.
675
00:45:05,651 --> 00:45:08,485
Wait. Didn't you have it
when we were downstairs?
676
00:45:08,568 --> 00:45:09,987
Maybe.
677
00:45:13,826 --> 00:45:16,912
Guys, get the hell
out of there right now.
678
00:45:18,998 --> 00:45:19,916
Come on!
679
00:45:19,999 --> 00:45:22,418
- It's clear!
- Go, go, go!
680
00:45:28,048 --> 00:45:29,383
They're coming back.
681
00:45:35,140 --> 00:45:38,395
I'm just so glad I found him.
He's my favourite collectible.
682
00:45:38,478 --> 00:45:39,937
I know.
683
00:45:43,065 --> 00:45:45,986
Holy shit!
There's a dildo in my drawer.
684
00:45:46,070 --> 00:45:47,528
Oh, my God!
685
00:45:47,612 --> 00:45:49,740
You could have asked me
if you wanted to borrow it.
686
00:45:50,907 --> 00:45:52,493
Stop it.
687
00:45:54,828 --> 00:45:58,041
- What the hell was that?
- I don't know. Call 9 11 .
688
00:46:01,712 --> 00:46:03,297
- No 9 11 .
- Don't call the police.
689
00:46:03,380 --> 00:46:07,258
- My God, it's the painting kids.
- I'm still calling the cops.
690
00:46:07,342 --> 00:46:09,303
Okay, no, no, no.
This isn't right.
691
00:46:09,386 --> 00:46:12,639
- Look. Stifler did break in here.
- You dick!
692
00:46:12,723 --> 00:46:15,309
But we just followed him in
to get him out.
693
00:46:16,936 --> 00:46:19,605
I just wanted proof that you chicks
are really lesbians.
694
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,279
You wanna mess with 'em?
695
00:46:27,364 --> 00:46:29,283
Yeah, it'll be fun.
696
00:46:29,366 --> 00:46:31,494
Let's do it.
697
00:46:32,536 --> 00:46:34,956
You guys like that?
698
00:46:42,882 --> 00:46:45,634
Ozzy, stand by for confirmation.
699
00:46:47,261 --> 00:46:49,889
That's a big 10-4
on the confirmation.
700
00:46:52,016 --> 00:46:55,061
Sounds like your little friends
outside wanna play too.
701
00:46:59,462 --> 00:47:01,380
You won't be needing this.
702
00:47:02,591 --> 00:47:04,550
Who wants me to touch Amber?
703
00:47:05,864 --> 00:47:07,116
l do, l do.
704
00:47:07,178 --> 00:47:09,703
- Who the hell is that?
- Who's this?
705
00:47:09,786 --> 00:47:13,289
This is John... Smith.
706
00:47:13,372 --> 00:47:17,502
I'm turning off my radio now.
707
00:47:17,586 --> 00:47:21,842
Okay.
Where should I touch Amber?
708
00:47:21,925 --> 00:47:24,300
Ass, baby.
Feel that ass!
709
00:47:29,266 --> 00:47:30,224
That's nice.
710
00:47:33,938 --> 00:47:37,273
I know.
You feel his ass first.
711
00:47:38,651 --> 00:47:39,568
Excuse me?
712
00:47:39,651 --> 00:47:42,489
Yeah, I like that.
That's good.
713
00:47:42,572 --> 00:47:45,824
I got some painting
I should...
714
00:47:45,908 --> 00:47:48,786
Jim, hold on.
I can handle it.
715
00:47:48,870 --> 00:47:51,164
- What?
- I'm comfortable with my sexuality.
716
00:47:51,247 --> 00:47:53,709
And I would love
to see that show.
717
00:47:53,792 --> 00:47:55,962
Bravo!
718
00:47:59,423 --> 00:48:02,219
One finger on the cheek.
719
00:48:02,302 --> 00:48:04,387
We want...
720
00:48:04,470 --> 00:48:07,182
palm grasping.
721
00:48:08,267 --> 00:48:10,268
That's too much.
No, no, no.
722
00:48:10,352 --> 00:48:12,395
You don't touch,
we don't touch.
723
00:48:12,479 --> 00:48:15,941
- Squeeze his ass, son. You'll like it.
- Come on, boys.
724
00:48:16,024 --> 00:48:19,654
- Jesus Christ.
- Oh, shit.
725
00:48:22,075 --> 00:48:24,074
I'm touching his ass.
I'm touching his ass.
726
00:48:25,660 --> 00:48:27,704
Red Leader,
what's your position?
727
00:48:27,788 --> 00:48:30,707
l'm touching his ass.
l'm touching his ass.
728
00:48:30,791 --> 00:48:31,709
Mommy!
729
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:34,086
You can go.
730
00:48:34,170 --> 00:48:36,088
That really wasn't bad.
731
00:48:36,171 --> 00:48:38,675
- I wanna go home.
- That's too bad.
732
00:48:40,511 --> 00:48:43,388
Never mind.
I'm staying.
733
00:48:43,471 --> 00:48:45,932
Danielle is feeling my breasts.
734
00:48:48,518 --> 00:48:50,478
No way, dude!
735
00:48:50,562 --> 00:48:52,273
Her breasts are so luscious.
736
00:48:52,356 --> 00:48:54,859
What a wonderful Christmas gift
you bought the boys.
737
00:48:54,942 --> 00:48:57,403
My nipples are so hard.
738
00:48:58,238 --> 00:49:00,240
I think I can fix these.
739
00:49:06,747 --> 00:49:08,373
Sweet Jesus.
740
00:49:10,500 --> 00:49:11,586
Your turn.
741
00:49:12,795 --> 00:49:14,255
Oh, yeah!
742
00:49:14,339 --> 00:49:15,882
No, no, no.
743
00:49:18,052 --> 00:49:19,095
Him.
744
00:49:23,431 --> 00:49:24,641
Kiss.
745
00:49:24,724 --> 00:49:27,144
Dude, no.
746
00:49:27,227 --> 00:49:30,648
- Wait. What?
- You want more?
747
00:49:30,732 --> 00:49:33,234
We want more.
Go get him, tiger.
748
00:49:33,318 --> 00:49:36,112
- You're gonna love it.
- Do it for us.
749
00:49:39,242 --> 00:49:41,284
Okay, dude.
750
00:49:43,412 --> 00:49:45,372
One, two...
751
00:49:46,748 --> 00:49:48,667
three.
752
00:49:48,918 --> 00:49:51,839
- That doesn't even count.
- That totally counted.
753
00:49:51,922 --> 00:49:54,424
- That's how you kiss your mother.
- Don't you say anything!
754
00:49:54,674 --> 00:49:57,678
Make it real.
You do that...
755
00:49:57,762 --> 00:50:00,012
we'll do anything you want.
756
00:50:00,096 --> 00:50:01,473
Anything?
757
00:50:01,556 --> 00:50:02,975
Anything.
758
00:50:06,145 --> 00:50:08,939
- You better like it.
- Promise.
759
00:50:09,023 --> 00:50:10,943
I wouldn't lie.
760
00:50:17,826 --> 00:50:20,410
That is what I'm talking about.
761
00:50:20,493 --> 00:50:23,372
Kev, you can look.
762
00:50:27,377 --> 00:50:29,255
That's it.
763
00:50:29,338 --> 00:50:31,130
Where's your tongue?
764
00:50:36,763 --> 00:50:38,265
Good boys.
765
00:50:38,348 --> 00:50:41,142
- Very good.
- Dude, you're a fucking lousy kisser.
766
00:50:41,225 --> 00:50:43,185
What? I wasn't trying!
767
00:50:43,269 --> 00:50:45,145
That's not fair!
768
00:50:45,229 --> 00:50:47,231
I wasn't trying there!
769
00:50:47,315 --> 00:50:49,026
No judgment.
770
00:50:49,985 --> 00:50:51,903
Wait a second.
You were trying?
771
00:50:51,988 --> 00:50:54,448
- Fuck no!
- You were trying!
772
00:50:55,783 --> 00:50:59,369
- I kissed Jim!
- Silence!
773
00:50:59,453 --> 00:51:01,581
- Ladies.
- Yes?
774
00:51:01,664 --> 00:51:03,750
As you were.
775
00:51:05,543 --> 00:51:07,503
- Here we go.
- Let's do it.
776
00:51:22,374 --> 00:51:24,919
- Honey, come on. Food's ready.
- I'm not hungry!
777
00:51:27,797 --> 00:51:30,507
- Oh, God.
- It was worth it.
778
00:51:32,344 --> 00:51:35,848
- I want more.
- Hell, yeah. I want more too, baby.
779
00:51:37,724 --> 00:51:41,896
We're gonna get more physical
as soon as we get some...
780
00:51:43,313 --> 00:51:45,733
- Hand jobs.
- Okay!
781
00:51:47,610 --> 00:51:48,946
Hand jobs.
782
00:51:50,864 --> 00:51:54,159
You do him.
We love to watch.
783
00:51:55,411 --> 00:51:56,494
I'm sorry?
784
00:51:56,578 --> 00:51:58,747
- You go.
- We go.
785
00:52:03,544 --> 00:52:05,462
Don't be a wimp.
786
00:52:08,759 --> 00:52:11,219
Okay. It's okay.
787
00:52:11,303 --> 00:52:13,181
I know what I have to do.
788
00:52:13,890 --> 00:52:16,265
I need to keep this party goin'.
789
00:52:17,350 --> 00:52:19,603
I'm takin' one for the team.
790
00:52:20,688 --> 00:52:22,107
Mother of God!
791
00:52:22,190 --> 00:52:23,774
Come on, you pussies!
We had 'em!
792
00:52:23,858 --> 00:52:26,528
- I am not touching that.
- Put that thing away, Stifler.
793
00:52:26,612 --> 00:52:29,864
Why can't you guys
be team players, huh?
794
00:52:29,947 --> 00:52:31,868
I was the one doin'
all the sacrificing'.
795
00:52:32,764 --> 00:52:34,516
Now, wait just a minute.
796
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,519
Stifler wanted to give
you two hand jobs?
797
00:52:37,602 --> 00:52:41,440
No. Stifler wanted one from us.
798
00:52:41,523 --> 00:52:43,441
What? Bullshit.
799
00:52:43,525 --> 00:52:45,319
He did.
And it was horrible.
800
00:52:45,403 --> 00:52:47,114
Very horrible.
801
00:52:47,197 --> 00:52:49,658
You guys, you wanna
play some ''asshole''?
802
00:52:49,741 --> 00:52:52,411
Just watching the game, Kev.
803
00:52:52,494 --> 00:52:54,580
I just wanna
do something together.
804
00:52:54,661 --> 00:52:58,959
We just did something together.
Very together.
805
00:52:59,043 --> 00:53:02,004
Ho, ho, ho.
Stifler Claus is here.
806
00:53:02,087 --> 00:53:04,966
Now, just so there's no confusion...
807
00:53:05,049 --> 00:53:08,469
Santa Porn has just brought us
some heterosexual entertainment.
808
00:53:10,180 --> 00:53:11,098
Here you go.
809
00:53:12,266 --> 00:53:14,103
All right. Here.
810
00:53:14,183 --> 00:53:16,937
And the Stifmeister's provided us
some complimentary lubricant.
811
00:53:17,020 --> 00:53:18,980
Whack away, Jim.
812
00:53:19,064 --> 00:53:20,857
Does this stuff really
make a difference?
813
00:53:20,941 --> 00:53:23,737
- Oh, yeah!
- Really?
814
00:53:29,451 --> 00:53:31,871
Stifmeister's palace of love...
815
00:53:31,954 --> 00:53:33,540
straight love.
816
00:53:34,706 --> 00:53:37,584
Oh, hey.
Yeah, I'm fine.
817
00:53:37,667 --> 00:53:39,378
- How about you?
- That's Stifler's mom.
818
00:53:39,462 --> 00:53:40,879
Silence.
819
00:53:40,963 --> 00:53:42,965
I didn't really think you were gonna be
in Michigan this summer.
820
00:53:43,049 --> 00:53:45,052
Yeah, you're more than welcome
to be here.
821
00:53:45,135 --> 00:53:48,555
Okay, stop by in a couple of weeks.
We're having a big party.
822
00:53:48,639 --> 00:53:50,266
Okay, bye.
823
00:53:50,349 --> 00:53:51,725
Stifler, was that...
824
00:53:55,270 --> 00:53:56,855
She's coming.
825
00:54:01,569 --> 00:54:03,654
Stifler's mom is coming here.
826
00:54:06,741 --> 00:54:08,786
Efforts must be doubled.
827
00:54:10,163 --> 00:54:12,165
''Efforts must be doubled.''
828
00:54:14,541 --> 00:54:15,876
Absolutely.
829
00:54:23,344 --> 00:54:25,262
Jenny, where'd you put
my clarinet?
830
00:54:25,345 --> 00:54:27,848
- I think I shoved it in your box.
- Thanks.
831
00:54:27,932 --> 00:54:31,977
Bad man.
I'm a bad, bad man.
832
00:54:35,816 --> 00:54:37,817
Jim, what are you
doing here?
833
00:54:37,900 --> 00:54:40,361
Well, I thought
you had said...
834
00:54:40,444 --> 00:54:43,365
You can't just
stand out here.
835
00:54:43,448 --> 00:54:47,329
Loo, l need your help.
836
00:54:47,412 --> 00:54:51,540
Nadia's coming back
and I don't...
837
00:54:51,623 --> 00:54:53,709
I don't wanna be this awkward...
838
00:54:53,792 --> 00:54:56,881
bumbling, nervous guy with her.
839
00:54:56,964 --> 00:54:58,548
I don't wanna seem
like a dork.
840
00:54:58,632 --> 00:55:00,842
Well, I know that feeling.
841
00:55:00,926 --> 00:55:03,054
Spend your life playing
in the band...
842
00:55:03,137 --> 00:55:07,183
it doesn't exactly give you
the ultra-cool hipster image.
843
00:55:07,266 --> 00:55:10,936
- I think you're pretty cool.
- Seriously?
844
00:55:15,316 --> 00:55:18,695
Michele, why did you
ditch me after prom?
845
00:55:18,779 --> 00:55:22,783
I didn't ditch you.
I just...
846
00:55:22,867 --> 00:55:24,326
Our date was over.
847
00:55:25,202 --> 00:55:27,455
I mean, did you want some...
848
00:55:27,539 --> 00:55:30,126
funky, weird,
next-morning goodbye?
849
00:55:31,917 --> 00:55:35,546
It's not like I wanted you to pretend
you were in love with me or something.
850
00:55:35,630 --> 00:55:37,507
Why would I pretend that?
851
00:55:37,590 --> 00:55:39,301
Guys do that.
852
00:55:40,636 --> 00:55:44,265
Yeah, well,
I'm not like other guys.
853
00:55:45,308 --> 00:55:47,018
I know.
854
00:55:47,102 --> 00:55:50,228
Okay, I'm gonna help you.
855
00:55:50,312 --> 00:55:52,232
Really?
856
00:55:52,315 --> 00:55:55,027
Yeah, I feel bad
for saying that you sucked...
857
00:55:55,110 --> 00:55:58,155
even though you kind of did.
858
00:56:02,910 --> 00:56:04,829
Let's just get started.
859
00:56:05,914 --> 00:56:08,418
- Now, I'm a hot girl.
- Right.
860
00:56:08,501 --> 00:56:11,419
- Okay, what do you wanna do?
- I wanna feel your boobs.
861
00:56:11,502 --> 00:56:13,547
No, you dingbat.
862
00:56:13,630 --> 00:56:16,008
You don't just go
groping away.
863
00:56:16,550 --> 00:56:19,762
You gotta preheat the oven
before you stick in the turkey.
864
00:56:23,307 --> 00:56:24,851
Kiss me, here.
865
00:56:31,066 --> 00:56:33,109
Good. Okay, now...
866
00:56:33,192 --> 00:56:34,737
the collarbone... kiss.
867
00:56:39,492 --> 00:56:42,078
Good, Jim.
868
00:56:42,161 --> 00:56:43,664
You're making me wet.
869
00:56:43,747 --> 00:56:45,123
Holy shit. Really?
870
00:56:45,207 --> 00:56:47,376
No, I was just saying that
so you could practise.
871
00:56:49,210 --> 00:56:50,712
Of course.
872
00:57:11,318 --> 00:57:15,865
Does direction matter,
like clockwise, counter clockwise?
873
00:57:15,948 --> 00:57:18,410
Okay, Jim,
this is what I'm talking about.
874
00:57:18,493 --> 00:57:22,789
Your main problem is
you're so uptight.
875
00:57:23,999 --> 00:57:27,460
Do I seem uptight
about my sexual stuff? No.
876
00:57:27,544 --> 00:57:30,757
The biggest pointer
I could give you is...
877
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:35,386
you have to feel comfortable
in any situation.
878
00:57:35,469 --> 00:57:36,847
Stand up.
879
00:57:37,764 --> 00:57:38,682
Stand up.
880
00:57:40,059 --> 00:57:43,770
- Now, this is a fucked-up situation.
- What happened to preheating?
881
00:57:43,854 --> 00:57:46,483
- We're skipping a few chapters.
- Oh, okay.
882
00:57:46,566 --> 00:57:50,319
This is good. This is good.
Obviously.
883
00:57:51,821 --> 00:57:55,199
- Gilligan's island, Mr Howell.
- What?
884
00:57:55,282 --> 00:57:59,162
You've got to control yourself
and think of something nonsexual.
885
00:57:59,247 --> 00:58:02,791
I haven't even touched you yet,
and you're turning into the Sears Tower.
886
00:58:02,875 --> 00:58:05,754
I'm sorry.
Yeah, nonsexual.
887
00:58:05,838 --> 00:58:08,463
Right, right.
Okay.
888
00:58:08,547 --> 00:58:11,384
- Chairs.
- Good.
889
00:58:14,220 --> 00:58:15,389
Mastodons.
890
00:58:18,058 --> 00:58:20,310
Cleaning my bathroom.
891
00:58:21,478 --> 00:58:23,523
Dung beetles.
892
00:58:24,023 --> 00:58:26,108
Okay. Now, don't freak out.
893
00:58:26,191 --> 00:58:29,237
I'm gonna do something
to push your threshold.
894
00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:31,156
Oh, that's cold!
What are you doing?
895
00:58:31,823 --> 00:58:34,952
I just shoved a trumpet in your ass.
Aren't instruments fun?
896
00:58:35,411 --> 00:58:38,498
Okay, I think you've just
crossed my threshold.
897
00:58:48,174 --> 00:58:51,928
Call me in two weeks. I'll be home then.
We can finish lessons.
898
00:58:58,435 --> 00:59:00,522
Pointer... less tongue.
899
00:59:08,009 --> 00:59:11,178
- What is it? A guest book?
- Yeah, and look at this entry.
900
00:59:11,262 --> 00:59:13,974
''Best thing was the blow-out
at Tom Myers' place.
901
00:59:14,057 --> 00:59:16,476
- There he is.
- A night not soon to be forgotten.
902
00:59:16,560 --> 00:59:19,187
August '93.''
It's your brother, man. Look.
903
00:59:19,270 --> 00:59:21,148
Yeah, his cottage was
right down on the beach.
904
00:59:21,232 --> 00:59:24,818
Guys, this is what
our party's gotta be.
905
00:59:24,902 --> 00:59:27,655
- Something we'll always remember.
- Yes, definitely.
906
00:59:27,738 --> 00:59:29,324
Absolutely.
907
00:59:30,908 --> 00:59:33,578
- You go fish.
- Finch, we're playing gin.
908
00:59:37,583 --> 00:59:38,584
Gin.
909
01:00:30,097 --> 01:00:31,516
What the fuck?
910
01:01:11,227 --> 01:01:12,186
''Dear Jim.
911
01:01:14,272 --> 01:01:18,026
Chicago is beautiful,
but it would be better if you were here.
912
01:01:18,109 --> 01:01:20,987
I'm counting the days.
Love, Nadia.''
913
01:01:23,907 --> 01:01:26,410
Well, I wish
you were here, Nadia.
914
01:01:54,524 --> 01:01:58,071
- Have you been dirty?
- Oh, yes, baby. I?ve been dirty.
915
01:02:00,154 --> 01:02:02,073
Do you want me to clean you?
916
01:02:02,156 --> 01:02:05,870
''Apply a few drops
to achieve desired lubrication.''
917
01:02:05,954 --> 01:02:07,663
All right.
918
01:02:11,792 --> 01:02:15,338
I that a loofah,
or are you just glad to see me?
919
01:02:15,421 --> 01:02:17,341
What the hell.
920
01:02:36,153 --> 01:02:37,947
Shit.
921
01:02:42,118 --> 01:02:44,454
God!
922
01:02:44,537 --> 01:02:46,622
I been missin' out.
923
01:03:04,975 --> 01:03:06,811
Oh, shit!
924
01:03:12,943 --> 01:03:14,111
Shit!
925
01:03:20,327 --> 01:03:23,078
- Everybody okay?
- I'm fine.
926
01:03:23,163 --> 01:03:24,872
I'm fine.
Everything's fine.
927
01:03:24,955 --> 01:03:27,751
Shut the fuck up or I'll break down
this door and pummel your ass!
928
01:03:27,835 --> 01:03:31,672
No, don't come in here. I'm fine.
I just fell out of the bed.
929
01:03:31,755 --> 01:03:33,674
- You sure?
- Okay, good night, then.
930
01:03:33,758 --> 01:03:35,719
- 'Night.
- We'll see you in the morning.
931
01:03:49,734 --> 01:03:51,068
Oh, shit!
932
01:04:16,261 --> 01:04:18,432
- Poison control.
- Hello?
933
01:04:23,060 --> 01:04:25,272
Yeah, I kind of...
934
01:04:25,355 --> 01:04:27,192
Super Glued myself...
935
01:04:27,275 --> 01:04:30,069
to myself.
936
01:04:30,570 --> 01:04:32,322
No, no!
937
01:04:33,115 --> 01:04:35,075
Don't send an ambulance.
938
01:04:35,158 --> 01:04:39,246
Look, is there anything, you know,
around the house?
939
01:04:42,958 --> 01:04:44,835
Paint thinner.
940
01:05:40,980 --> 01:05:42,273
Shit.
941
01:05:48,823 --> 01:05:51,618
Don't move!
Stay where you are!
942
01:05:51,701 --> 01:05:54,160
Hands where we can see 'em!
943
01:05:54,243 --> 01:05:56,830
Both hands!
Get the other hand up, God damn it!
944
01:05:58,374 --> 01:06:00,793
I can't! I can't!
I'm glued!
945
01:06:00,876 --> 01:06:02,837
I'm glued!
946
01:06:03,421 --> 01:06:04,923
Sorry.
947
01:06:05,008 --> 01:06:07,926
Relax your hands.
948
01:06:08,010 --> 01:06:10,930
I'll take it from here, okay?
949
01:06:11,014 --> 01:06:12,972
Don't worry, Jimbo.
You're gonna be fine, buddy.
950
01:06:13,056 --> 01:06:15,685
Jim, this happens
to the best of us.
951
01:06:20,773 --> 01:06:23,610
Left foot first.
Easy does it. Good.
952
01:06:23,693 --> 01:06:27,365
- Watch your head.
- All right. Take a seat.
953
01:06:29,325 --> 01:06:31,703
Excuse me, sir.
Are you a family member?
954
01:06:31,786 --> 01:06:34,329
Fuck, no!
This is just too good to miss!
955
01:06:34,413 --> 01:06:37,291
Okay, sir, you're just gonna have
to wait here. All right?
956
01:06:44,592 --> 01:06:46,760
This summer's
turned out to be great.
957
01:06:59,773 --> 01:07:02,590
- How you doin', son?
- I've been better.
958
01:07:05,864 --> 01:07:08,451
Boy, that doesn't look
too bad, Jim.
959
01:07:08,534 --> 01:07:10,662
Good job, Doctor.
960
01:07:10,746 --> 01:07:13,957
The swelling should subside
in about eight or nine days.
961
01:07:14,040 --> 01:07:15,667
Eight or nine...
962
01:07:17,169 --> 01:07:20,005
Beach party's in a week.
Nadia's coming.
963
01:07:24,010 --> 01:07:27,680
Doctor, my son has
a party in seven days...
964
01:07:27,764 --> 01:07:29,808
and there's a young lady coming...
965
01:07:29,892 --> 01:07:32,059
that he's been waiting to...
966
01:07:33,894 --> 01:07:36,190
he's been waiting to get with.
967
01:07:36,274 --> 01:07:39,734
I'd tell your son to keep
his pants on during that party.
968
01:07:39,818 --> 01:07:43,698
Oh, yes. Believe me, I will be
doing that. It goes without saying.
969
01:07:43,781 --> 01:07:46,367
But if his pants...
970
01:07:46,451 --> 01:07:48,621
decide to come off
during the party...
971
01:07:48,704 --> 01:07:51,789
could he have
full use of his...
972
01:07:54,459 --> 01:07:55,544
penis?
973
01:07:55,628 --> 01:07:57,212
Okay.
974
01:07:59,883 --> 01:08:02,134
This should shave
a couple of days off.
975
01:08:02,218 --> 01:08:04,846
Oh, good.
976
01:08:04,929 --> 01:08:06,974
Thank you, Doctor.
977
01:08:07,057 --> 01:08:09,435
Jim...
978
01:08:09,519 --> 01:08:12,312
that's good news.
979
01:08:12,395 --> 01:08:15,983
This has been a good-news day, son.
Here. Put this on.
980
01:08:16,067 --> 01:08:17,609
Little chilly out there.
981
01:08:20,029 --> 01:08:22,115
Well, here we are.
982
01:08:22,866 --> 01:08:24,910
You know, Jim...
983
01:08:24,994 --> 01:08:28,706
I think we should keep your mother
in the dark about the incident tonight.
984
01:08:28,789 --> 01:08:32,167
I think the whole glue thing
might get her a little queasy.
985
01:08:32,251 --> 01:08:35,796
I don't know how I get myself
into these things.
986
01:08:39,926 --> 01:08:41,595
But thanks for understanding.
987
01:08:41,678 --> 01:08:44,305
You've been really cool.
988
01:08:44,389 --> 01:08:46,433
I mean, between this and...
989
01:08:46,517 --> 01:08:48,270
you know...
990
01:08:50,353 --> 01:08:54,400
You know, you may be
Jimbo or Jumbo...
991
01:08:54,483 --> 01:08:57,612
or Jimbodinny to these guys
in here, but...
992
01:08:57,695 --> 01:09:00,365
I want you to know
there are two people...
993
01:09:00,448 --> 01:09:03,911
who still remember where
James Emanuel Levenstein came from.
994
01:09:05,787 --> 01:09:08,957
We're awful proud of you, son.
995
01:09:09,041 --> 01:09:10,876
Thanks, Dad.
996
01:09:11,878 --> 01:09:13,504
Don't forget your penis cream.
997
01:09:33,985 --> 01:09:36,112
That was it.
998
01:09:36,195 --> 01:09:40,117
Right there.
That was a pure tantric moment.
999
01:09:40,200 --> 01:09:44,080
The fiicus, the water...
it was all erotic.
1000
01:09:44,164 --> 01:09:48,958
One more stimulant,
I would have had full release.
1001
01:09:49,042 --> 01:09:53,214
Finch, stay the fuck
away from that fiicus.
1002
01:09:53,298 --> 01:09:54,966
That's a jizz-free fiicus.
1003
01:09:57,303 --> 01:10:01,473
There he is. Morning, Jimbo.
How's the twig and giggleberries, man?
1004
01:10:01,557 --> 01:10:04,936
Oh, very colourful.
My dick looks like a paint-by-numbers.
1005
01:10:07,104 --> 01:10:09,941
You're the only guy I know
whose dick needs an instruction manual.
1006
01:10:15,154 --> 01:10:17,032
Casa de Stifler.
1007
01:10:21,412 --> 01:10:24,248
You're here now?
No, that's cool.
1008
01:10:24,332 --> 01:10:26,959
You know, if you want to
hang out with these guys.
1009
01:10:27,042 --> 01:10:29,295
Okay, then.
I'll meet you out front.
1010
01:10:32,381 --> 01:10:35,301
- Hey, Stifler, was that...
- Eat shit, Shitbreak.
1011
01:10:38,807 --> 01:10:39,806
She's here.
1012
01:10:42,185 --> 01:10:44,855
My lady has arrived.
1013
01:10:47,230 --> 01:10:49,943
- I gotta prepare.
- Here we go.
1014
01:10:50,026 --> 01:10:53,196
- Great. Stifler's mom is here?
- This could be a disaster.
1015
01:10:56,493 --> 01:10:59,078
Not unless Stifler's mom
drives a moped.
1016
01:10:59,161 --> 01:11:00,204
Moped?
1017
01:11:03,751 --> 01:11:07,253
Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers.
How you doin', boys?
1018
01:11:07,337 --> 01:11:10,716
- That's Stifler's little brother.
- What are you doing here?
1019
01:11:10,799 --> 01:11:13,302
Pussy, man.
I'm here for the pussy.
1020
01:11:13,385 --> 01:11:15,180
Take a number.
1021
01:11:15,263 --> 01:11:18,808
Gentlemen, why all the noise?
Everybody knows this is my special day.
1022
01:11:18,892 --> 01:11:21,561
- What is that?
- Is that a fuckin' dress?
1023
01:11:21,644 --> 01:11:26,274
- Are you wearing a dress?
- Shitbreak, meet my little brother.
1024
01:11:26,357 --> 01:11:28,109
Little brother, meet Shitbreak.
1025
01:11:29,320 --> 01:11:31,530
- That's your brother?
- Yes.
1026
01:11:34,367 --> 01:11:36,036
My lady's not coming.
1027
01:11:37,954 --> 01:11:42,960
So my entire stockpile
is wasted...
1028
01:11:43,044 --> 01:11:45,378
and I look ridiculous!
1029
01:11:46,880 --> 01:11:48,465
Excuse me.
1030
01:11:53,889 --> 01:11:56,266
- That didn't look too good.
- No.
1031
01:11:56,349 --> 01:12:01,355
- Let's go find your room.
- So, where are the fuckin' females?
1032
01:12:04,232 --> 01:12:06,736
I can't believe
I finally got you alone.
1033
01:12:06,819 --> 01:12:08,904
That only took, what, six weeks?
1034
01:12:10,072 --> 01:12:12,742
So, are you alone too?
1035
01:12:12,826 --> 01:12:15,328
- Yep.
- Good.
1036
01:12:15,412 --> 01:12:19,082
I'm all alone.
1037
01:12:19,165 --> 01:12:21,960
Guess what I had in mind?
1038
01:12:25,214 --> 01:12:27,675
Hey, Marco,
can you get your balls off me?
1039
01:12:28,802 --> 01:12:32,596
- What the hell's going on over there?
- Nothing.
1040
01:12:32,763 --> 01:12:34,933
It's just my flatmates.
1041
01:12:35,017 --> 01:12:36,851
I guess this is kind of
a lost cause, huh?
1042
01:12:36,935 --> 01:12:39,022
- Yeah, I guess so.
- See ya this weekend?
1043
01:12:39,105 --> 01:12:41,191
- I can't wait.
- I can't wait either.
1044
01:12:41,274 --> 01:12:42,440
Bye-bye.
1045
01:12:47,363 --> 01:12:50,116
- Surprise!
- Holy... Nadia!
1046
01:12:50,199 --> 01:12:53,620
You're here? You're here.
What are you doing here?
1047
01:12:53,704 --> 01:12:55,663
Jim, I got so tired
of sightseeing.
1048
01:12:55,746 --> 01:12:58,083
But you're... you're early.
1049
01:12:58,167 --> 01:13:01,920
Okay.
Nice to know you.
1050
01:13:02,004 --> 01:13:04,632
- I will leave.
- No!
1051
01:13:04,715 --> 01:13:08,177
No.
Don't... Don't leave.
1052
01:13:08,260 --> 01:13:10,305
Don't leave.
No leaving.
1053
01:13:13,851 --> 01:13:17,687
It's just,
I'm not gonna be ready...
1054
01:13:17,771 --> 01:13:21,858
I mean, the party won't be
ready until Saturday.
1055
01:13:23,443 --> 01:13:25,905
I can stay here until then?
1056
01:13:25,988 --> 01:13:27,574
Yeah.
1057
01:13:28,741 --> 01:13:30,911
I'm gonna be right back.
Is that okay?
1058
01:13:30,994 --> 01:13:33,581
- Okay.
- Nadia...
1059
01:13:33,665 --> 01:13:37,168
who's in my room.
Now. Holy shit.
1060
01:13:38,503 --> 01:13:40,548
all right, I?ve got a plan.
1061
01:13:40,628 --> 01:13:43,215
Okay.
How about I come back with you...
1062
01:13:43,299 --> 01:13:44,925
and you say...
1063
01:13:45,009 --> 01:13:47,261
''Hello, this is Michele,
my girlfriend.''
1064
01:13:47,345 --> 01:13:50,891
And obviously, Nadia won't
expect you to hop in the sack.
1065
01:13:50,975 --> 01:13:54,561
And then we break up
the day of the party.
1066
01:13:54,644 --> 01:13:56,689
And you're all healed
and back on the market.
1067
01:13:58,107 --> 01:14:00,650
- You're evil.
- No way!
1068
01:14:00,735 --> 01:14:02,863
I'm like Cupid.
1069
01:14:02,946 --> 01:14:05,448
And I know how
to make a girl jealous.
1070
01:14:05,531 --> 01:14:07,325
This is gonna be fun.
1071
01:14:07,617 --> 01:14:09,411
I'm sorry I didn't
tell you sooner...
1072
01:14:09,495 --> 01:14:11,914
but we just started seeing
each other a few weeks ago.
1073
01:14:14,876 --> 01:14:18,130
But I'd really love it
if you stayed here.
1074
01:14:18,213 --> 01:14:21,048
I think you should stay
and have fun at the party.
1075
01:14:21,132 --> 01:14:24,719
Good for you, Jim.
Of course I will stay.
1076
01:14:24,803 --> 01:14:27,764
That's great...
That's my nipples!
1077
01:14:27,847 --> 01:14:30,642
She just loves my nipples.
1078
01:16:04,745 --> 01:16:06,080
- Oh, my God.
- You still broken?
1079
01:16:06,956 --> 01:16:08,125
No.
1080
01:16:08,208 --> 01:16:10,252
I'm fine.
1081
01:16:10,335 --> 01:16:13,588
I might have to
actually go through with this.
1082
01:16:16,675 --> 01:16:19,428
What's the big deal
with Nadia, anyway?
1083
01:16:19,511 --> 01:16:21,348
I mean, okay...
1084
01:16:21,431 --> 01:16:25,143
so she's 50,000 times hotter
than most girls...
1085
01:16:25,226 --> 01:16:27,645
but come on, it's just sex.
1086
01:16:28,438 --> 01:16:29,606
Oh, no.
1087
01:16:29,689 --> 01:16:31,984
You saw the thing on the Internet.
1088
01:16:32,067 --> 01:16:34,321
Did it look like I might have had...
1089
01:16:34,404 --> 01:16:37,072
a slight interest in Nadia then?
1090
01:16:38,824 --> 01:16:40,743
Add another year to that.
1091
01:16:40,826 --> 01:16:42,995
Okay.
1092
01:16:43,079 --> 01:16:46,626
Hey, why don't you bring Nadia
to the concert first?
1093
01:16:46,709 --> 01:16:48,544
It'll be a cool date.
1094
01:16:49,544 --> 01:16:51,463
We'll see how things go.
1095
01:16:56,552 --> 01:17:00,348
Michele, you have been great.
1096
01:17:00,431 --> 01:17:02,140
Thank you.
1097
01:17:02,224 --> 01:17:03,851
Anytime.
1098
01:17:10,943 --> 01:17:12,737
Come on.
1099
01:17:15,781 --> 01:17:17,992
You ready to break up?
1100
01:17:18,075 --> 01:17:20,412
You big, stupid dummy!
1101
01:17:20,496 --> 01:17:22,788
Theatre is so cool!
1102
01:17:22,872 --> 01:17:26,252
I don't care if you are the best lay
I've ever had in my life.
1103
01:17:26,335 --> 01:17:29,463
- I hate your guts anyway.
- Don't say that.
1104
01:17:29,547 --> 01:17:34,634
And I don't care if you did give me
ten orgasms in a row...
1105
01:17:34,718 --> 01:17:36,679
because you smell really bad.
1106
01:17:39,307 --> 01:17:41,058
I smell really bad!
1107
01:17:41,142 --> 01:17:44,688
Because we've been having
so much sex, and...
1108
01:17:44,772 --> 01:17:48,275
and I haven't showered,
and I wanna shower!
1109
01:17:49,861 --> 01:17:53,781
So, don't you go being all
super sexy guy any more...
1110
01:17:53,865 --> 01:17:56,284
because I am now impervious...
1111
01:17:56,367 --> 01:18:00,121
to your unrelenting machismo
and sexual ardour.
1112
01:18:01,038 --> 01:18:04,294
And that includes fucking me
in the ass! So there!
1113
01:18:12,010 --> 01:18:14,095
We had something special.
1114
01:18:55,932 --> 01:18:57,851
Vicki. Hey.
1115
01:18:57,935 --> 01:19:01,314
I'm so glad you came.
You want something to drink or...
1116
01:19:01,397 --> 01:19:03,233
Can I help you?
1117
01:19:04,651 --> 01:19:05,902
- Kevin.
- What?
1118
01:19:05,986 --> 01:19:07,363
That's my date.
1119
01:19:23,005 --> 01:19:25,215
You saved them all.
1120
01:19:25,298 --> 01:19:26,967
How sweet.
1121
01:19:28,052 --> 01:19:29,971
You don't think I'm a dork?
1122
01:19:32,806 --> 01:19:37,228
Whatever you are, Jim,
it is what I like.
1123
01:19:39,063 --> 01:19:41,065
Kevin left.
Didn't look good.
1124
01:19:41,150 --> 01:19:43,235
Kevin left?
1125
01:19:44,069 --> 01:19:45,737
Just wandered down the beach.
1126
01:19:49,951 --> 01:19:51,868
You okay, Kev?
1127
01:19:55,123 --> 01:19:56,998
Wanna tell us what's up?
1128
01:19:58,709 --> 01:20:00,921
Wanna feel Finch's ass?
1129
01:20:04,466 --> 01:20:07,887
No, I went to say hi to Vicky...
1130
01:20:07,970 --> 01:20:10,764
and she was there with a date.
1131
01:20:10,847 --> 01:20:13,392
You hooked up with three girls
this year. You're doing fine.
1132
01:20:13,476 --> 01:20:15,437
Rule of three, Oz.
1133
01:20:21,569 --> 01:20:24,363
I guess I was living in the past...
wanting to party with you guys...
1134
01:20:24,446 --> 01:20:26,991
and be with Vicky,
just like high school.
1135
01:20:27,075 --> 01:20:29,575
You remember
that day after prom?
1136
01:20:29,659 --> 01:20:32,454
You know, we made
a toast to the next step.
1137
01:20:33,748 --> 01:20:36,375
I guess I never took it.
1138
01:20:38,587 --> 01:20:41,966
My brother said that by the end
of the summer I'd see the big picture.
1139
01:20:42,049 --> 01:20:44,051
And I see it.
1140
01:20:44,134 --> 01:20:47,764
No matter what, times change
and things are different.
1141
01:20:47,847 --> 01:20:51,309
The problem is,
I don't want them to be.
1142
01:20:51,392 --> 01:20:53,478
You know, Kevin,
I haven't moved on either.
1143
01:20:53,561 --> 01:20:55,646
I've been obsessed
with the one woman...
1144
01:20:55,729 --> 01:20:57,941
I can't have a real future with...
1145
01:20:58,024 --> 01:21:02,071
other than a very kinky,
extremely warped one.
1146
01:21:03,490 --> 01:21:05,825
I got to find a new goddess.
1147
01:21:07,327 --> 01:21:10,705
It's gonna take patience,
but I've been celibate all summer.
1148
01:21:10,788 --> 01:21:14,876
- You kinda get used to it, though, huh?
- Are you insane?
1149
01:21:17,671 --> 01:21:21,842
Look, Kev, different does not
necessarily mean worse.
1150
01:21:21,926 --> 01:21:24,805
As a matter of fact,
I think things are just getting better.
1151
01:21:25,305 --> 01:21:28,098
Or am I gonna have to drag your ass
back to that party and prove it to you?
1152
01:21:29,349 --> 01:21:30,559
I'll walk.
1153
01:21:47,828 --> 01:21:50,958
You know,
you have beautiful eyes.
1154
01:21:51,041 --> 01:21:55,129
- Oh, you're sweet.
- That's a really nice top.
1155
01:21:55,212 --> 01:21:58,633
- Oh. Thanks.
- You're welcome.
1156
01:21:58,716 --> 01:22:01,970
- Wanna fuck?
- Are you serious?
1157
01:22:02,053 --> 01:22:05,182
Come on, baby.
Give it to the Stifmeister.
1158
01:22:05,265 --> 01:22:08,143
- I think you better...
- Your loss.
1159
01:22:08,226 --> 01:22:11,314
Wow. You know,
you have beautiful eyes.
1160
01:22:11,397 --> 01:22:14,983
Come here, dude.
You're making an ass out of yourself.
1161
01:22:15,066 --> 01:22:18,487
You're ruining my mojo.
And you're not the Stifmeister, okay?
1162
01:22:18,572 --> 01:22:20,949
It takes years to develop
true Stifmeister style.
1163
01:22:21,032 --> 01:22:24,329
Come on, man!
I just wanna see some boobs.
1164
01:22:24,412 --> 01:22:26,203
- Hey, Pop Tart.
- Dream on, midget.
1165
01:22:26,286 --> 01:22:29,749
Excuse him. Come here.
Take this. You're on cop watch.
1166
01:22:29,833 --> 01:22:32,711
Go out in the driveway.
See any cops, call me, okay?
1167
01:22:32,795 --> 01:22:34,588
All right.
1168
01:22:44,684 --> 01:22:48,646
Gentlemen,
this appears to be a party.
1169
01:22:51,566 --> 01:22:55,027
Guys, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go look for Nadia.
1170
01:22:55,111 --> 01:22:56,947
Good luck.
1171
01:23:00,408 --> 01:23:02,535
So what was this year like for you?
1172
01:23:02,620 --> 01:23:04,872
Did you miss high school?
1173
01:23:04,956 --> 01:23:06,956
Well, no.
1174
01:23:07,041 --> 01:23:10,712
When you travel as much as I do,
you get used to moving on.
1175
01:23:12,046 --> 01:23:14,466
But I have great memories.
1176
01:23:18,011 --> 01:23:21,099
- Wow, can we go in there?
- The lighthouse?
1177
01:23:24,311 --> 01:23:26,144
Yes.
1178
01:23:26,228 --> 01:23:27,980
Yes, we can.
1179
01:23:28,063 --> 01:23:29,982
How romantic.
1180
01:23:32,569 --> 01:23:33,904
Jim, come on.
1181
01:23:50,837 --> 01:23:54,093
It's beautiful!
1182
01:23:54,176 --> 01:23:55,845
Cool!
1183
01:23:58,472 --> 01:24:02,852
Jim, I have told you
my memories from high school.
1184
01:24:02,936 --> 01:24:04,687
What are yours?
1185
01:24:10,360 --> 01:24:11,486
You.
1186
01:24:11,569 --> 01:24:13,864
You have not changed.
1187
01:24:18,494 --> 01:24:21,582
Jim, relax.
1188
01:24:21,665 --> 01:24:26,043
We are just, how do you say,
tooting our horns.
1189
01:24:27,170 --> 01:24:29,130
Actually,
that is quite difficult.
1190
01:24:29,214 --> 01:24:30,424
What do you mean?
1191
01:24:31,300 --> 01:24:34,554
Well, this one time
at band camp...
1192
01:24:39,976 --> 01:24:42,104
Holy shit!
1193
01:24:43,396 --> 01:24:45,566
What? Tell me.
1194
01:24:46,899 --> 01:24:50,403
Well, this one time at band camp...
1195
01:24:51,572 --> 01:24:53,658
I got stuck playing this trombone.
1196
01:24:53,741 --> 01:24:56,911
And I can't play anything at all.
So I totally sucked.
1197
01:24:56,994 --> 01:24:58,955
And everyone thought
I was this Petey guy...
1198
01:24:59,038 --> 01:25:01,709
but I didn't know what to think,
so I just kept playing and playing...
1199
01:25:01,792 --> 01:25:03,876
and I didn't know
what I was doing.
1200
01:25:03,960 --> 01:25:05,754
It was so funny!
1201
01:25:07,256 --> 01:25:10,341
- I gotta go.
- What? Why?
1202
01:25:13,221 --> 01:25:15,139
Please don't take this
the wrong way...
1203
01:25:15,222 --> 01:25:17,684
but you're...
1204
01:25:17,767 --> 01:25:20,856
you're everything
that I used to want.
1205
01:25:20,939 --> 01:25:24,024
And as much as I may really...
1206
01:25:24,107 --> 01:25:27,820
really regret
what I'm about to do...
1207
01:25:29,279 --> 01:25:31,199
there's somebody else
I want to be with.
1208
01:25:31,283 --> 01:25:34,327
You want the band geek?
1209
01:25:34,409 --> 01:25:35,620
Nadia...
1210
01:25:36,663 --> 01:25:38,624
I am a band geek.
1211
01:25:40,001 --> 01:25:42,794
I just never joined the band.
1212
01:25:47,549 --> 01:25:49,468
You go get your geek.
1213
01:25:51,137 --> 01:25:52,973
Someday I will find mine.
1214
01:26:11,826 --> 01:26:15,122
Hey. Kevin Myers.
1215
01:26:15,205 --> 01:26:17,416
Hi.
Sorry I was a dick before.
1216
01:26:17,500 --> 01:26:20,334
It's okay, man.
My name's Brett.
1217
01:26:20,418 --> 01:26:23,255
- Can you give us a sec?
- Sure.
1218
01:26:24,674 --> 01:26:26,842
Look, you don't have to do this.
1219
01:26:26,925 --> 01:26:29,429
Maybe I was being selfish...
1220
01:26:29,512 --> 01:26:32,932
in wanting to be your friend.
1221
01:26:33,016 --> 01:26:35,685
Maybe it's just not gonna work.
1222
01:26:35,769 --> 01:26:39,356
I would much rather have you as a friend
than not have you in my life at all.
1223
01:26:52,704 --> 01:26:54,666
Party on!
1224
01:27:00,212 --> 01:27:03,799
- From the lighthouse all the way...
- Hey, handsome.
1225
01:27:10,850 --> 01:27:12,434
What are you doing here?
1226
01:27:12,517 --> 01:27:14,896
I was gonna pick you up
at the airport in two hours.
1227
01:27:14,979 --> 01:27:17,274
I took an earlier flight,
and I thought I'd surprise you.
1228
01:27:17,357 --> 01:27:21,234
- Yeah, you did.
- Kinda weird without the phone, huh?
1229
01:27:21,318 --> 01:27:23,571
We'll get used to it.
1230
01:27:23,655 --> 01:27:26,992
Come on. I wanna hear all about it.
We'll grab you a drink.
1231
01:27:27,910 --> 01:27:30,621
Steve, this cop-watch
thing is horseshit.
1232
01:27:30,704 --> 01:27:32,164
Hello?
1233
01:27:33,958 --> 01:27:36,503
Man, this sucks.
1234
01:27:36,587 --> 01:27:38,420
Who is it out there?
1235
01:27:41,590 --> 01:27:44,260
It's the Stifmeister, baby.
1236
01:27:44,343 --> 01:27:45,971
I that so?
1237
01:27:50,601 --> 01:27:52,979
Life's a bitch, isn't it?
1238
01:27:55,231 --> 01:27:58,526
It's all right.
You don't have to say anything.
1239
01:27:58,609 --> 01:28:01,029
I'm used to girls ignoring me.
1240
01:28:01,113 --> 01:28:03,032
Or making fun of me.
1241
01:28:03,115 --> 01:28:05,199
''Come on, Sherman.
Be the Sherminator.''
1242
01:28:06,868 --> 01:28:09,914
Like the movie.
How clever.
1243
01:28:09,998 --> 01:28:11,958
I get it, okay?
1244
01:28:13,710 --> 01:28:15,171
Maybe I am a geek.
1245
01:28:15,254 --> 01:28:17,796
Whatever.
1246
01:28:19,966 --> 01:28:22,970
Yes! Yes, you are!
1247
01:28:25,472 --> 01:28:27,058
All right.
1248
01:28:29,227 --> 01:28:32,939
I am the Sherminator.
1249
01:28:33,023 --> 01:28:36,525
A sophisticated sex robot
sent back through time...
1250
01:28:36,609 --> 01:28:39,154
to change the future
for one lucky lady.
1251
01:28:40,113 --> 01:28:42,116
I am lucky lady?
1252
01:28:42,199 --> 01:28:44,200
That's right, Nadia.
1253
01:28:44,284 --> 01:28:46,954
You've been targeted
for Shermination.
1254
01:28:47,038 --> 01:28:49,707
Come with me
if you want to live.
1255
01:28:53,294 --> 01:28:54,046
Help!
1256
01:28:58,466 --> 01:29:00,845
- Fuck me, geek!
- Affirmative!
1257
01:29:00,928 --> 01:29:03,388
No fuckin' way!
1258
01:29:09,604 --> 01:29:12,817
- Forget it.
- Like you have a chance.
1259
01:29:28,124 --> 01:29:29,876
Cheers, bud.
1260
01:29:35,590 --> 01:29:38,552
Hey, Steve, look what I found.
1261
01:29:38,635 --> 01:29:41,138
- Dude, don't touch the shirt.
- Just look.
1262
01:29:44,142 --> 01:29:45,102
- Hi.
- Hey, there.
1263
01:29:45,561 --> 01:29:48,396
Brilliant.
You found lesbians.
1264
01:29:49,857 --> 01:29:52,401
Good luck trying to break
through that force field.
1265
01:29:52,484 --> 01:29:55,820
- Lesbians?
- We never said that.
1266
01:30:01,869 --> 01:30:04,456
- What?
- We never said that.
1267
01:30:08,085 --> 01:30:09,796
Oh, man.
1268
01:30:10,880 --> 01:30:14,757
I will do anything... anything...
to sleep with you chicks.
1269
01:30:14,840 --> 01:30:19,305
Okay? I'll grab
every guy's ass in this room.
1270
01:30:19,389 --> 01:30:22,559
I'll caress it, even.
I'll shave some ass if they need it.
1271
01:30:22,642 --> 01:30:24,896
Oh, yeah.
You heard me.
1272
01:30:24,979 --> 01:30:30,026
It's true. I'll kiss everybody here.
Dudes, chicks, everybody.
1273
01:30:30,109 --> 01:30:33,862
Because I am comfortable
with my sexuality.
1274
01:30:33,945 --> 01:30:35,281
Oh, yeah.
1275
01:30:37,324 --> 01:30:39,827
At least have a drink
with the Stifmeister.
1276
01:30:41,287 --> 01:30:43,207
- All right.
- That's fair.
1277
01:30:45,000 --> 01:30:46,627
All right.
1278
01:30:49,171 --> 01:30:51,508
You truly are a Stifmeister.
1279
01:30:51,591 --> 01:30:55,720
- Welcome back to the party.
- Steve, those are my lesbians.
1280
01:30:55,803 --> 01:30:58,640
- Ladies, I am down with the funky shit.
- Like what?
1281
01:30:58,724 --> 01:31:01,059
One time at this party,
I was drinking champagne...
1282
01:31:04,187 --> 01:31:05,856
Thank you. Thank you.
1283
01:31:05,940 --> 01:31:09,320
Our next soloist
will be Michele Flaherty.
1284
01:31:38,182 --> 01:31:40,018
Petey?
1285
01:31:44,440 --> 01:31:46,693
This kid is killing me.
1286
01:31:49,070 --> 01:31:52,343
- You suck, retard.
- I'm not retarded.
1287
01:31:52,489 --> 01:31:54,576
I'm a very special boy.
1288
01:32:11,093 --> 01:32:13,138
How's this
for a band camp story?
1289
01:32:24,400 --> 01:32:28,072
Come on, guys.
Let's hear it for Petey!
1290
01:33:36,500 --> 01:33:38,711
- Good for them.
- It's awesome.
1291
01:33:41,839 --> 01:33:44,425
- Wanna dance?
- Yeah.
1292
01:33:44,509 --> 01:33:47,388
We'll be back.
Come on now, baby.
1293
01:34:31,748 --> 01:34:34,709
You know, there's only one word
for that party.
1294
01:34:35,001 --> 01:34:37,254
- Bitchin'.
- Out of control.
1295
01:34:38,924 --> 01:34:41,133
Am I gonna have a hangover?
'Cause I want one.
1296
01:34:48,683 --> 01:34:49,892
Later.
1297
01:34:50,936 --> 01:34:52,604
- Good-bye.
- See ya.
1298
01:34:52,687 --> 01:34:55,732
- Let's go to our page.
- We have to write about this party.
1299
01:34:55,815 --> 01:34:58,695
This party was crazy!
Look at my date! He's passed out!
1300
01:34:58,778 --> 01:35:01,239
- You drank him under the table.
- He couldn't hack it.
1301
01:35:40,282 --> 01:35:43,577
- Best summer ever, huh, fellas?
- Absolutely.
1302
01:35:43,661 --> 01:35:47,789
- Sorry things didn't work out for you.
- You kiddin'? Things are great.
1303
01:35:48,165 --> 01:35:50,418
I have all the time in the world.
1304
01:35:50,501 --> 01:35:52,586
So, are we gonna
do this every summer?
1305
01:35:52,669 --> 01:35:55,005
- Hell, yeah, we are.
- Of course we are, gentlemen.
1306
01:35:55,089 --> 01:35:56,674
Well, we're gonna try.
1307
01:36:08,062 --> 01:36:10,939
- That's a sweet car.
- It is sweet.
1308
01:36:16,904 --> 01:36:19,240
- Stifler's mom.
- Hey, Finchy.
1309
01:36:19,324 --> 01:36:21,285
How did you know I was here?
1310
01:36:21,368 --> 01:36:23,578
I called a couple of weeks ago.
1311
01:36:23,661 --> 01:36:26,123
Didn't Steven tell you that
I was gonna drop by sometime?
1312
01:36:26,206 --> 01:36:29,001
I guess it slipped his mind.
1313
01:36:30,752 --> 01:36:32,463
What's your name?
1314
01:36:34,633 --> 01:36:35,842
Jeanine.
1315
01:36:38,845 --> 01:36:41,098
Okay, well...
1316
01:36:41,181 --> 01:36:44,434
I've been thinking, and,
you know, I'm 19 years old.
1317
01:36:44,517 --> 01:36:48,649
There's a whole world out there.
I can't be obsessed with one woman.
1318
01:36:48,732 --> 01:36:52,527
- Just can't be.
- I'm glad you're learning, Finchy.
1319
01:36:54,029 --> 01:36:55,822
Good.
1320
01:36:58,993 --> 01:37:02,870
- You want to get it on?
- You better clear your schedule.
1321
01:37:06,375 --> 01:37:08,378
See you guys later.
1322
01:37:08,462 --> 01:37:10,505
Where are you goin', man?
What about Dog Years?
1323
01:37:10,589 --> 01:37:14,385
Give me, like, three days.
1324
01:37:16,303 --> 01:37:18,556
Wait, was that who I think...
1325
01:37:18,640 --> 01:37:21,018
- No.
- Yeah!
1326
01:37:21,101 --> 01:37:23,686
- I think it was.
- I think so too.
1327
01:37:26,731 --> 01:37:28,649
Who the hell was that?
1328
01:37:28,732 --> 01:37:30,234
That was...
1329
01:37:30,318 --> 01:37:31,987
That was... Someone was lost.
1330
01:37:32,071 --> 01:37:36,200
- Lookin' for the lake.
- Yeah, all turned around.
1331
01:37:36,283 --> 01:37:39,496
What a dumb ass.
The lake's right there.
1332
01:37:45,085 --> 01:37:48,838
Incredible.
How does Finch get so lucky?
1333
01:37:48,921 --> 01:37:50,924
What are you worried about?
You got a girlfriend now.
1334
01:37:51,258 --> 01:37:54,178
Everything in. Let's go.
Pony up. Dog Years awaits.
1335
01:37:54,261 --> 01:37:57,348
Yeah, I do.
Yeah, I do.
1336
01:37:57,432 --> 01:37:59,518
- I have a girlfriend now.
- Yeah, you do.
1337
01:37:59,601 --> 01:38:02,061
- She's my girlfriend.
- All right, Jimbo.
1338
01:38:02,144 --> 01:38:04,021
Let's go! Let's go!
1339
01:38:04,105 --> 01:38:05,482
- Where's Shitbreak?
- The movies.
1340
01:38:05,565 --> 01:38:07,316
- Took the bus.
- Coffee.
1341
01:38:07,400 --> 01:38:09,528
Wait a second.
1342
01:38:09,611 --> 01:38:11,948
Who the fuck was in that car?
1343
01:38:18,830 --> 01:38:20,956
Oh, Finchy, I missed you.
1344
01:38:22,501 --> 01:38:25,712
Oh, Jeanine. Jeanine.
1345
01:38:25,795 --> 01:38:27,631
Call me Stifler's mom.
1346
01:38:29,800 --> 01:38:32,804
Oh, Stifler's mom!
99662
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