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1
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I sent you 63 good people.
You have to choose.
2
00:00:04,290 --> 00:00:06,080
They have
to meet our rigorous standards.
3
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,120
I mean, look at the three
we've already hired.
4
00:00:08,790 --> 00:00:10,250
Stallions.
5
00:00:11,460 --> 00:00:14,250
Hooli is the future,
and your future is...
6
00:00:14,670 --> 00:00:17,460
The Box 2.
Are there any questions?
7
00:00:17,460 --> 00:00:19,750
Everything you're doing here
is antiquated.
8
00:00:20,290 --> 00:00:22,120
Fuck you guys.
Get out of here.
9
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:25,960
You wish to acquire
a company called Sliceline?
10
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,500
I will be taking on a total
engineering team of about 50.
11
00:00:29,790 --> 00:00:31,460
Um... Wha...
12
00:00:35,420 --> 00:00:37,710
- Don't tell anyone, okay?
- Um...
13
00:00:47,670 --> 00:00:49,330
My Tesla finally came.
14
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,420
Was that a wise purchase?
15
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:53,750
Considering Richard just
16
00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:57,290
obliterated Pied Piper's runway
hiring all those coders?
17
00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,540
I ordered it a month ago.
18
00:00:59,540 --> 00:01:02,250
But still, it's an investment.
19
00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:03,540
As I understand,
20
00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:05,210
cars depreciate
10 percent
21
00:01:05,210 --> 00:01:06,670
as soon as they
fall off the truck.
22
00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:09,040
Like that.
23
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,710
So if the car costs $100,
24
00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:14,710
well you just lost $10.
25
00:01:14,710 --> 00:01:16,540
Did it cost $100?
26
00:01:17,670 --> 00:01:19,040
Or more?
27
00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:20,670
It's not about the money.
28
00:01:20,670 --> 00:01:23,620
I, my friend, am now part
29
00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:25,210
of the green revolution.
30
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,540
Are you?
31
00:01:26,540 --> 00:01:27,960
Most electricity
still comes from
32
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,080
gas plants and
coal-burning smoke stacks.
33
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,710
Do you know where
your electricity comes from?
34
00:01:32,710 --> 00:01:34,580
No.
Mm-hmm.
35
00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,250
Look how shiny it is.
36
00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:40,040
Plus, it has a frunk...
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00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,420
a front trunk.
38
00:01:41,420 --> 00:01:43,750
Here, hop in, let me
give you a ride to work.
39
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,670
Dinesh,
40
00:01:51,670 --> 00:01:52,710
you like this?
41
00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:56,120
Jesus fucking Christ!
42
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,710
Is that a dead pig?
Yes.
43
00:01:58,710 --> 00:02:01,040
It's just like Errich.
44
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,460
My corrupt uncle
45
00:02:02,460 --> 00:02:04,250
sent a death certificate
46
00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:05,210
from China
47
00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:08,420
but to send body
is too expensive.
48
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:10,120
So...
49
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,120
I cremate a pig
50
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,290
because a pig is
most like a fat human.
51
00:02:16,710 --> 00:02:17,870
I gotta get to work.
52
00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,040
Dinesh...
53
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,750
can you take
pig to backyard?
54
00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:24,420
I need to burn it.
55
00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:25,580
No.
56
00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:34,670
That's odd.
57
00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:35,960
You left before me.
58
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,080
How was I able
to park before you?
59
00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,790
I guess all 50
of the new employees
60
00:02:39,790 --> 00:02:41,250
decided to show up
bright and early
61
00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:43,460
for the fucking
all-hands meeting.
62
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,290
I had to park on level five.
63
00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,330
Huh! So unlike you,
64
00:02:47,330 --> 00:02:48,620
the world understands
65
00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:50,370
that I'm saving the planet
66
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,040
and has rewarded me with...
67
00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,000
primo spot.
68
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,370
Congratulations.
69
00:02:55,370 --> 00:02:57,210
You've finally taken
your rightful spot
70
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,790
amongst the handicapped.
71
00:03:12,870 --> 00:03:14,000
Is it broken?
72
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:17,000
Uh, no.
I think I'm okay.
73
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,580
One question,
what the fuck happened?
74
00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:22,170
'Cause... you were
doing your speech
75
00:03:22,170 --> 00:03:24,170
right there in front
of the whole company,
76
00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:25,170
and then...
77
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,330
Wow.
78
00:03:27,330 --> 00:03:28,830
Well...
79
00:03:28,830 --> 00:03:31,330
uh, my speech was going poorly.
80
00:03:31,330 --> 00:03:32,500
Agreed.
Yeah.
81
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,170
And I started to panic.
82
00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:35,210
With good reason.
83
00:03:35,210 --> 00:03:37,000
And then...
84
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,790
all of a sudden, I...
85
00:03:38,790 --> 00:03:40,330
I thought I had
to shit my pants, okay?
86
00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:41,830
And that's why you jumped
87
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:44,540
face first into
a glass wall?
88
00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:46,170
No, it all happened so fast,
89
00:03:46,170 --> 00:03:48,870
but... essentially, I thought,
90
00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:51,420
if it was gonna happen,
I didn't want to be standing.
91
00:03:51,420 --> 00:03:53,540
So, I crouched, because...
92
00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:54,580
If you wanna
shit yourself,
93
00:03:54,580 --> 00:03:56,460
you'd rather be
crouching than standing?
94
00:03:56,460 --> 00:03:58,710
Yes. I mean, if you had to.
95
00:03:58,710 --> 00:04:02,040
I hate to say this,
but I follow you.
96
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:05,040
The thing is, when I
crouched, I had to burp.
97
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,830
But since I was all,
you know, tucked up,
98
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,210
I actually
vomited a little.
99
00:04:09,210 --> 00:04:12,710
And then, that's when my
fight-or-flight reflex kicked in.
100
00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,830
Do you ever fight?
101
00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:18,920
Okay, fine, then my "or flight"
reflex kicked in and I just...
102
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:21,500
Pow.
Yeah.
103
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:25,170
Okay. Well, what we saw
was a very oily man
104
00:04:25,170 --> 00:04:27,170
in mid-sentence dip down,
105
00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:30,710
vomit, and then
thrust himself violently
106
00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:33,830
face first into
a glass wall.
107
00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:35,460
But I guess it's a lot
less embarrassing
108
00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:36,580
the way you explain it.
109
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,750
Richard, what about...
110
00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:40,790
Did you evacuate
in your pants?
111
00:04:40,790 --> 00:04:42,250
Oh, no, uh, good news.
112
00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:44,420
I think what happened
when I hit the glass,
113
00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:45,830
I sort of shocked myself.
114
00:04:45,830 --> 00:04:47,040
Now, I don't have to.
115
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,500
That's actually
kind of disappointing,
116
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:51,250
because, like,
no closure.
117
00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,420
Well, on the bright side,
it'll be that much easier
118
00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:55,080
to get you cleaned up
and back out there.
119
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,420
What? I have you scheduled for
three more days of orientation.
120
00:04:58,420 --> 00:05:00,080
No way. Cancel them.
121
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,540
There's no way
I'm going back out there.
122
00:05:01,540 --> 00:05:03,750
Especially after knowing
what they saw.
123
00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:06,500
No, fuck it. Plus, I'm...
I'm way too busy, so.
124
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:09,040
Gentlemen, could we
have the room please?
125
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,620
So we can leave?
Sweet.
126
00:05:12,170 --> 00:05:14,210
Richard,
look out there.
127
00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:17,620
There's Optimoji and Sliceline
t-shirts left and right.
128
00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:20,920
These are conquered soldiers
still in their old uniforms.
129
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,460
But we need everyone here
to be Pied Pipers.
130
00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:25,460
I mean, you're asking them
131
00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:28,000
to spend the primes
of their lives on your vision.
132
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,330
Right? And you need to go
out there and lead them.
133
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,460
They're... they're yearning
for inspiration.
134
00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:34,370
I can't do inspiration.
135
00:05:34,370 --> 00:05:35,920
I'm a coder.
136
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,500
Look there,
the new Internet.
137
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:39,000
That's inspiration.
Use that.
138
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,960
Richard, this is all an idea.
139
00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,370
And people don't
wanna follow an idea,
140
00:05:42,370 --> 00:05:43,960
they wanna follow a leader.
141
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,250
Look at the last guy
to create a new Internet.
142
00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:47,250
Al Gore.
143
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,790
His ideas were excellent,
144
00:05:48,790 --> 00:05:51,620
but he talked like a
narcoleptic plantation owner,
145
00:05:51,620 --> 00:05:53,830
so he lost the presidency
to a fake cowboy
146
00:05:53,830 --> 00:05:55,420
and now he makes
apocalypse porn.
147
00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:57,750
Look, the point is, you
need to lead with passion.
148
00:05:57,750 --> 00:05:59,210
When you set your mind to it,
149
00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:01,670
you're one of the most charismatic
people I've ever met.
150
00:06:01,670 --> 00:06:03,250
And I have met Ira Glass.
151
00:06:03,250 --> 00:06:05,210
I know it's three days
we could be working,
152
00:06:05,210 --> 00:06:09,080
but ultimately, a unified team
will save us time in the end.
153
00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,620
You wanna save time?
154
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,870
If you wanna save time,
here's what you do.
155
00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:15,120
You said it yourself,
okay, the Optimoji guys
156
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,120
and the Sliceline guys
are separate,
157
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,620
with their own
separate histories,
158
00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:20,370
their own separate
shorthands,
159
00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:21,580
so let's use that.
160
00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:23,830
Let's give the scheduler
to the Optimoji guys,
161
00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:26,250
and the server-less runtime
to the Sliceline guys.
162
00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:29,500
Then we have Dinesh and Gilfoyle and the
Stallions, they do the integration.
163
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,250
Boom, we're off and running.
How about that?
164
00:06:31,250 --> 00:06:34,670
That way, no one has to
shit or burp or puke
165
00:06:34,670 --> 00:06:37,250
or get a nosebleed
in front of anyone.
166
00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:39,960
Sco As for the bezel design,
our young aesthete, Dang,
167
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,580
has once again spun gold.
168
00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:42,710
Let's see it.
169
00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:49,040
Wait, my signature's not on it?
170
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:53,040
How could it be the Gavin
Belson Signature Box III
171
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,580
without Gavin Belson's
signature on it?
172
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,750
Well, the word "signature"
has a handwritten feel to it.
173
00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:00,670
Why is my signature
not on this?
174
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,870
Gavin, there was a slight
issue with your signature.
175
00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:05,500
What issue?
176
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,040
Do you have a mock-up?
Pull it up.
177
00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:10,920
Ah, yes! There.
178
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,370
What's wrong with that?
179
00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:17,210
Well, reactions to this from
our testing groups were mixed,
180
00:07:17,210 --> 00:07:20,920
so we contacted
a handwriting expert.
181
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,750
And, uh, well...
182
00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:24,460
Jean, do you
have the report?
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00:07:24,460 --> 00:07:25,620
Absolutely.
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00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:28,040
Pleasure to be on your team, Gavin.
Here it is.
185
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,250
"The signature
displayed troubling traits.
186
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,710
"Left of upright slant,
187
00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:34,250
"narrow angles,
tense strokes,
188
00:07:34,250 --> 00:07:37,420
conclusively indicative
of sociopathic tendencies."
189
00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:38,960
What?
"Characterized by
190
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,620
"a lack of empathy
and need to dominate,
191
00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:43,750
"a willingness to hurt others
to achieve one's goals.
192
00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,460
Inability to accept bad news..."
193
00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:46,710
- Hoover?
- Sir?
194
00:07:46,710 --> 00:07:49,920
Get this horrible women
the fuck out of my office, now.
195
00:07:57,750 --> 00:07:59,080
What the fuck is that?
196
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,460
It's the cheapest thing
I could find
197
00:08:00,460 --> 00:08:02,330
that qualified
as an electric vehicle.
198
00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:03,960
I found it on Craigslist.
199
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,460
Now you get to park
on the fifth floor.
200
00:08:06,460 --> 00:08:07,580
Enjoy the drive.
201
00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:09,330
Oh, and you were right...
202
00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:12,540
it does feel good to be
a part of the green revolution.
203
00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:16,170
Oh, yeah? Well, does that
"vehicle" have "Insane Mode"?
204
00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:17,580
One press of a button
205
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:21,120
and I go zero to 60
in 3.2...
206
00:08:22,830 --> 00:08:24,500
What a day.
207
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,040
See, we'd still be
finishing up orientation,
208
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,830
singing Kumbayas
and doing trust falls.
209
00:08:29,830 --> 00:08:31,000
But instead,
210
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,330
both our Optimoji
and Sliceline teams
211
00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:38,750
have gone through
their first code review.
212
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:41,620
Well, to be fair, I never
would've scheduled trust falls.
213
00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:44,040
I mean, you do one of those,
you're so jacked up on adrenaline,
214
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,620
the rest of the day
is basically shot.
215
00:08:45,620 --> 00:08:49,080
We were gonna have a noncompetitive
talent show with no losers.
216
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,080
Not possible.
217
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,290
Dick, I just got in
and checked the commits.
218
00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:54,830
Are you aware
that the Sliceline guys
219
00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:56,830
have been encoding time
in nanoseconds,
220
00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:58,040
as we usually do,
221
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,620
but the Optimoji guys
have been using milliseconds?
222
00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:03,330
What?
223
00:09:03,330 --> 00:09:05,210
Just the fact that
we're still calling them
224
00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:07,290
Sliceline guys
and Optimoji guys
225
00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:08,960
is sending up
all sorts of red flags.
226
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,620
And I don't even
mean the word "guys,"
227
00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:12,250
which I just learned
is a micro-aggression.
228
00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,830
It's fine, "guys."
229
00:09:14,830 --> 00:09:16,670
I will get them
to re-factor their code.
230
00:09:16,670 --> 00:09:19,170
We're still ahead
of where we'd be
231
00:09:19,170 --> 00:09:21,000
if we were doing
some kind of talent show.
232
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,170
Richard? Gilfoyle parked
his electric pile of trash
233
00:09:24,170 --> 00:09:25,750
in my Tesla's spot.
234
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:26,960
Do you think that's fair?
235
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,460
Not now, Dinesh.
236
00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:30,290
Why can't you guys
switch to milliseconds?
237
00:09:30,290 --> 00:09:31,540
Why do we have to change?
238
00:09:31,540 --> 00:09:34,870
Sorry, well, our entire
code base uses nanoseconds.
239
00:09:34,870 --> 00:09:37,960
And you didn't think it was
important to tell us this?
240
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,500
No, well, I mean, it was...
241
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:42,960
it was part of the orientation
that was scheduled,
242
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,250
which had to be,
243
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,210
for numerous reasons,
uh, canceled.
244
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:49,040
And I'm sorry about that,
I know it sucks.
245
00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,420
If I could make it
suck less, I would, but...
246
00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:53,540
You could get some
decent coffee in here.
247
00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:55,330
What? What's wrong with...
248
00:09:55,330 --> 00:09:57,620
Philz Coffee?
That's high-end joe, bro.
249
00:09:57,620 --> 00:10:00,370
At Optimoji, we had Stumptown
brought in every day.
250
00:10:01,540 --> 00:10:04,040
So that would inspire you?
Different coffee?
251
00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:04,960
Inspire us?
252
00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,290
You know what?
Bup, bup, bup!
253
00:10:06,290 --> 00:10:07,670
Stumptown it is.
You got it.
254
00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:10,290
And you'll tell your guys
about the nanoseconds?
255
00:10:10,290 --> 00:10:11,870
Yeah.
Unless you wanna
256
00:10:11,870 --> 00:10:13,750
get up in front of everyone
and announce it yourself.
257
00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,120
No, no, no,
I'd rather you...
258
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,330
That was a joke.
259
00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:17,620
Your speech was a disaster.
260
00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,790
Oh.
Yeah.
261
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,080
You know. Yeah.
262
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,250
It was really bad.
263
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,250
I know.
264
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:30,460
Okay, Mr. Jian, you have
petitioned this court
265
00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:31,920
to become the sole executor
266
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,870
of the estate of Erlich Bachman,
is that correct?
267
00:10:34,870 --> 00:10:36,080
Yes.
268
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,920
I see you've got
all the paperwork, here.
269
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:41,790
Yes. Errich Bachman
is dead.
270
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:44,750
Oh! Um...
271
00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:46,670
Mr. Jian, there's
absolutely no need
272
00:10:46,670 --> 00:10:49,040
to display
the deceased remains.
273
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,750
You can put that away.
274
00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:53,460
I have it.
Yes.
275
00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:54,750
Please put it down.
276
00:10:57,830 --> 00:11:01,620
Errich Bachman
is cremated...
277
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:02,960
into ashes.
278
00:11:04,370 --> 00:11:05,960
And I put it in bucket.
279
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,620
Put it down, sir.
280
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,920
Now, have you determined
281
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:15,540
to a reasonable
degree of certainty
282
00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:18,120
that Mr. Bachman has
no living next of kin?
283
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,580
No wife,
children, parents,
284
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:21,790
no brothers, sisters,
285
00:11:21,790 --> 00:11:23,290
nieces, nephews,
grandparents,
286
00:11:23,290 --> 00:11:24,960
children from
a predeceased spouse
287
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:25,960
or domestic partnership?
288
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:28,210
No.
289
00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:29,460
He died alone.
290
00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:32,290
He's a very sad man.
291
00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:34,250
So, I have a...
292
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,670
a house
and a 10% Pied Piper.
293
00:11:36,670 --> 00:11:39,500
In the absence
of any next of kin,
294
00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:42,330
I will approve you
as the sole beneficiary
295
00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:45,170
and the official executor
of Mr. Bachman's estate.
296
00:11:45,170 --> 00:11:48,210
But, before you can distribute
any of his assets
297
00:11:48,210 --> 00:11:49,710
into your personal possession,
298
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:53,330
you are required to settle all
claims against the estate.
299
00:11:53,330 --> 00:11:54,500
Do you understand?
300
00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:58,500
So I get a house
and a 10% Pied Piper?
301
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:01,540
You need to pay all
of his outstanding bills.
302
00:12:01,540 --> 00:12:04,120
How much do I have to pay?
303
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:07,960
Well, these debts can
sometimes be substantial.
304
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,710
Would you
characterize Mr. Bachman
305
00:12:09,710 --> 00:12:11,830
as a financially
responsible man?
306
00:12:16,790 --> 00:12:20,420
Hey, Sliceline guys,
what's up? Heh.
307
00:12:20,420 --> 00:12:21,960
So...
308
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,750
wanted to talk to
you guys about something.
309
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:25,870
Past couple days,
310
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:29,000
the Optimoji guys have really
stepped up their game,
311
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,580
but, um, you guys...
312
00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:34,710
have kind of been flagging.
313
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:37,040
I'm just wondering if
everything's all right.
314
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,120
Yeah. Great.
315
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,960
Just nice to know
where we stand.
316
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,460
Sorry?
We get it.
317
00:12:43,460 --> 00:12:45,960
You only acquired Sliceline
because you wanted Optimoji.
318
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,920
What?
319
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,210
No, wrong.
320
00:12:49,210 --> 00:12:51,210
Uh, why would you say that?
321
00:12:51,210 --> 00:12:52,750
I didn't. You did,
322
00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:54,540
when you chose
their coffee over ours.
323
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,420
It's bad enough
we can't have Slice here.
324
00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:58,420
Slice?
325
00:12:58,420 --> 00:12:59,420
The beverage?
326
00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:01,420
No, no. Slice was our mascot.
327
00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:03,750
He's really smart.
328
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,120
Okay, well...
329
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,460
Bring the little guy in.
330
00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:08,120
What about the no dog policy?
331
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,040
What no dog policy, huh?
332
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,040
Really? Are you sure you don't
need to check with Optimoji?
333
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,040
I'm pretty sure,
but, uh...
334
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,120
Danny? Dan man?
335
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,210
Uh, I just was wondering
336
00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:23,330
if you're cool
if the Sliceline guys
337
00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:25,420
brought in their dog.
He's really smart.
338
00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:28,370
Well at Optimoji,
we had a no dog policy.
339
00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:31,040
Come on.
Don't be such a dork.
340
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,580
Let 'em have it.
It's just a dog.
341
00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:35,370
Sure. Fine.
342
00:13:35,370 --> 00:13:36,420
You're the CEO.
343
00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:38,170
Yes, I am.
344
00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:39,210
All right.
345
00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:41,170
And from this point on,
346
00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:44,830
CEO stands for
Canine Endorsement...
347
00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:48,330
Oh... yeah.
348
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,830
All right.
349
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:58,040
Hey, look at you
and your 10-speed.
350
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,920
Aw, you got up early 'cause you
thought you could take my space.
351
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,250
That's cute.
352
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,120
Almost as cute as your bike.
353
00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:08,330
Yeah, I guess
this is a bike, isn't it?
354
00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:11,960
So I get to use the bike lane.
355
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,290
See you later.
356
00:14:14,290 --> 00:14:17,120
No, bikes still have
to follow traffic laws!
357
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:18,290
That's not fair!
358
00:14:19,870 --> 00:14:21,370
All right.
You wanna get insane?
359
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,120
Let's get insane.
360
00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:28,000
Whoa!
361
00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:31,790
Fuck you, Gilfoyle!
362
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:45,170
Something's wrong
with your frunk.
363
00:14:45,170 --> 00:14:46,580
It's all frucked up.
364
00:14:46,580 --> 00:14:47,960
Hey, Tesla!
365
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,710
You know where Pied Piper is?
366
00:14:54,670 --> 00:14:55,710
Right here, guys.
367
00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,000
What the fuck?
368
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,000
Dick?
369
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,000
Hey, uh...
370
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,580
Explain.
Okay, uh...
371
00:15:06,580 --> 00:15:10,040
So, Optimoji had
a no dog policy
372
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,000
and apparently that's because
every single one of 'em
373
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,540
have a fucking dog.
374
00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:15,080
And when we waived our
no dog policy...
375
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,790
You waived our no dog policy?
376
00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:19,290
I had Jared put that in there
for a reason, Richard!
377
00:15:19,290 --> 00:15:22,210
In Pakistan,
dogs are not pets, okay?
378
00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:23,540
They're vicious beasts
379
00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:25,040
and they chase you
down the street
380
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,170
and they bite you.
381
00:15:26,170 --> 00:15:28,250
My cousin Eftahar
lost an ear.
382
00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:30,210
Our mayor was
very corrupt.
383
00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:32,330
But he put poison pills
in chicken meat
384
00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:34,040
to take care
of the dog problem.
385
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:35,210
We hailed him as a hero.
386
00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:36,870
We put up statues
of him everywhere.
387
00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:38,540
He's gonna be okay.
388
00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:40,290
Who's gonna be okay?
389
00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:42,170
What? Stallion down?
390
00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:43,830
He's violently
allergic to dogs.
391
00:15:43,830 --> 00:15:46,790
It's another reason for our
iron-clad no dog policy.
392
00:15:46,790 --> 00:15:49,330
Jared, when were you planning
on telling me all of this?
393
00:15:49,330 --> 00:15:51,080
Day two of orientation.
394
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,750
Right after safe space charades.
395
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:56,330
So look, we'll pay for your
entire medical bill, obviously.
396
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,540
So, you're good.
397
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,460
You're covering
his deductible?
398
00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:01,210
Then you have
to cover ours, right?
399
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,000
And what about the dogs?
They're people, too.
400
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,710
They're literally not.
401
00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:06,080
They're dogs!
402
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,920
Hold strong.
403
00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:13,080
Fuck you!
404
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,500
Oh.
So...
405
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:22,670
Jared, uh, you wanted me
to unite the teams and I have.
406
00:16:22,670 --> 00:16:24,620
They are united against me.
407
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:28,080
Even the dogs,
apparently.
408
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,830
I wish they had
your fecal fortitude.
409
00:16:30,830 --> 00:16:32,540
Hey, do me a favor and...
410
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,920
just take care of all the dogs.
411
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,670
And then call an all-hands.
412
00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:42,790
I've clearly gotta
say words.
413
00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,080
Ooh, okay.
414
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:50,960
Really didn't wanna
be back up here, again.
415
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,580
And I think we all
remember why, you know?
416
00:16:52,580 --> 00:16:55,210
But you probably don't know
this, but I almost sh...
417
00:16:55,210 --> 00:16:56,290
They don't need to...
418
00:16:56,290 --> 00:16:57,750
Farted. Yeah.
419
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:00,920
Which would be embarrassing.
420
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,870
Anyway, look, uh...
421
00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:04,580
I know I...
422
00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:08,000
should be the inspiration
for you guys,
423
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,170
but to be honest,
that's not really who I am.
424
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:14,210
And if this company
lives or dies
425
00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:16,290
by all the flowery
things I say,
426
00:17:16,290 --> 00:17:18,170
well then, to be honest,
we're fucked. Ha.
427
00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,540
They say that...
428
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,790
people don't follow ideas.
429
00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:26,870
But I think in this case,
you guys should.
430
00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:28,620
Because...
431
00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:31,040
the idea of creating
a new Internet,
432
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:33,330
that's special.
433
00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:35,580
Right? And we've been
given the opportunity
434
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:37,750
to rewrite...
435
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:42,290
the most important thing
in human history.
436
00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:44,080
And we can build it
437
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,580
the way it should've
been made all along.
438
00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:50,870
You know, not this
shitty, addictive parasite
439
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:53,920
that companies like
Hooli use to spy on us
440
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,870
and exploit us.
441
00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:56,870
Okay?
442
00:17:57,790 --> 00:17:59,710
There.
That's your inspiration.
443
00:17:59,710 --> 00:18:00,870
Not me.
444
00:18:00,870 --> 00:18:03,580
Not coffee. Not dogs. So...
445
00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:07,670
if I'm not inspirational
enough for you,
446
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,120
and if you don't
wanna be here,
447
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,120
well, then,
there's the door.
448
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:12,710
And we'll give you
enough severance
449
00:18:12,710 --> 00:18:14,330
to cover you to your next job.
450
00:18:14,330 --> 00:18:17,500
But if you wanna stick around
and build this thing,
451
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,920
then we've got work to do.
452
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:27,580
Great job.
453
00:18:27,580 --> 00:18:28,920
So what's going on?
I hear footsteps.
454
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,170
Are... are people
sitting back down, or...?
455
00:18:31,170 --> 00:18:33,040
Okay, they're picking
up their bags.
456
00:18:34,670 --> 00:18:35,960
That could be good.
457
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,040
Okay. So, what,
they're leaving, or...?
458
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,460
A few are.
459
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:42,170
Okay, what's a few?
460
00:18:42,170 --> 00:18:44,420
It's more than a few.
461
00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:47,040
What's that mean? Like,
what's more than a few, five?
462
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,250
Double digits?
463
00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:50,830
It might be easier to say
how many are staying.
464
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,710
It's, uh...
465
00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:54,040
It's two.
466
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,250
What?
467
00:18:57,750 --> 00:18:58,790
Okay.
468
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,080
So, uh,
469
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,830
Richard, what...
what do you wanna do here?
470
00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:07,540
What are you talking about?
I'm doing it.
471
00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:09,750
Sorry?
I'm a coder, Jared.
472
00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:11,170
So I'm gonna code.
473
00:19:11,170 --> 00:19:13,500
And if I have to build my entire
new fucking internet by myself,
474
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,500
I'll do that, so...
475
00:19:18,330 --> 00:19:19,790
Oh, dear.
476
00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:22,330
I like it.
477
00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:24,420
It's just so edgy.
478
00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:26,670
Banksy is a very
edgy artist.
479
00:19:26,670 --> 00:19:27,830
The edgiest.
480
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:30,790
What is this?
481
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:35,790
Banksy is insisting his
signature be on his work.
482
00:19:35,790 --> 00:19:37,790
This is supposed
to be my signature.
483
00:19:37,790 --> 00:19:41,460
On what planet does a signature
have a signature on it?
484
00:19:43,420 --> 00:19:45,170
I'm afraid it's
non-negotiable.
485
00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:47,920
The fucking balls
on this egomaniac.
486
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,710
You know what?
Fuck Banksy.
487
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:52,460
We're on a campus
full of literally thousands
488
00:19:52,460 --> 00:19:55,000
of the greatest
creative minds in the world.
489
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,580
Let's just crowd source it with our
employees. We'll make it a contest.
490
00:19:57,580 --> 00:19:59,620
People will feel empowered
and part of the team.
491
00:19:59,620 --> 00:20:01,250
And it won't cost us shit.
492
00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:03,920
You see? This is what
a benevolent leader does.
493
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:04,960
Make it happen.
494
00:20:08,870 --> 00:20:09,870
Sir, is this a good time?
495
00:20:09,870 --> 00:20:11,920
It's a great time.
I just fired Banksy.
496
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,080
Banksy, the vandal?
497
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,000
The very one. Now,
what do you have for me?
498
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,080
Good news.
499
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,420
I'm hearing that Pied Piper
is in a free-fall.
500
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:23,080
From whom? All I can say
without implicating you
501
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,960
is that I've instituted
an operation
502
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,080
to safeguard our interests.
503
00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,620
I'm calling it
"Project Washburn."
504
00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:30,920
What I'm planning to...
505
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,040
Hoover, you're
implicating me.
506
00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:41,540
Are we bad people for leaving
Richard there to work by himself?
507
00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:43,960
We've been coding
for 48 hours straight.
508
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:47,000
I could give a shit about
deontological ethics.
509
00:20:48,670 --> 00:20:49,580
Yang.
510
00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:52,420
There better not be
a Chinaman in my bed.
511
00:20:52,420 --> 00:20:54,210
That is racist.
512
00:20:54,210 --> 00:20:55,210
Yes.
513
00:20:56,210 --> 00:20:57,370
I am racist.
514
00:21:02,290 --> 00:21:03,500
Stupid Errich.
515
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,540
Big mortgage.
516
00:21:05,540 --> 00:21:07,040
Seven credit cards.
517
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,120
Not even one with miles.
518
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:11,540
Fucking loser.
519
00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:15,710
It almost not worth
to take his house from him.
520
00:21:15,710 --> 00:21:16,790
Fat fuck.
521
00:21:16,790 --> 00:21:18,080
Speaking of crazy bills,
522
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,580
you know how much it's going
to cost to fix my Tesla?
523
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,420
$17,000.
524
00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:23,870
I can't afford to pay that.
525
00:21:26,330 --> 00:21:28,210
But I can't afford
not to pay it.
526
00:21:28,210 --> 00:21:29,670
If I don't fix my Tesla,
527
00:21:29,670 --> 00:21:30,960
Gilfoyle wins.
528
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,250
And I need to really
shove it up his ass.
529
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,830
Wait.
530
00:21:34,830 --> 00:21:36,420
Do I really hate
someone so much
531
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,580
that defeating them
is worth more than money?
532
00:21:39,580 --> 00:21:41,210
Is that really
what I've become?
533
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,080
Yeah, it is.
534
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:45,710
I'm gonna pay it.
535
00:21:45,710 --> 00:21:46,790
Thanks, Jian-Yang.
536
00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:52,620
I'll pay, too.
537
00:21:55,870 --> 00:21:57,250
Fuck you, Errich.
538
00:21:57,250 --> 00:21:59,790
You can't just
leave your bike-car
539
00:21:59,790 --> 00:22:01,420
in my Tesla's spot
and Uber home.
540
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:02,790
That's not fair, Gilfoyle.
541
00:22:02,790 --> 00:22:05,580
Mmm, you don't seem
to understand.
542
00:22:05,580 --> 00:22:07,290
It's my spot now.
543
00:22:10,710 --> 00:22:11,750
What are they doing back?
544
00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:13,790
Hey. Where have you been?
545
00:22:13,790 --> 00:22:15,250
Sleeping.
546
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,960
What? All night?
547
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,620
We assumed you guys were right behind us.
What's happening?
548
00:22:20,620 --> 00:22:21,790
Oh!
549
00:22:22,790 --> 00:22:23,960
Something.
550
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,620
Something is happening.
551
00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:27,120
When you left,
I thought he was fried.
552
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,790
Okay? Because his shoulders
were all tight,
553
00:22:29,790 --> 00:22:31,670
and he wouldn't answer
to his name,
554
00:22:31,670 --> 00:22:32,870
and his eyes went dead,
555
00:22:32,870 --> 00:22:34,000
like when I tell him
I love him.
556
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,210
But then, he just got stronger
557
00:22:36,210 --> 00:22:37,420
and he started
picking up speed,
558
00:22:37,420 --> 00:22:39,710
so I texted a few
of the Sliceline guys
559
00:22:39,710 --> 00:22:42,080
and then they texted
some of the Optimoji guys,
560
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,500
and they all
wanted to see it.
561
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:46,000
Richard has finished
the scheduler
562
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,290
and is almost
ready to merge
563
00:22:47,290 --> 00:22:48,870
the server-less runtime.
Look, look!
564
00:22:48,870 --> 00:22:50,830
He implemented
all those tasks?
565
00:22:50,830 --> 00:22:52,500
By himself?
566
00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:54,670
That was supposed to take
the whole team four days.
567
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,670
It's amazing.
I mean, I feel...
568
00:22:57,670 --> 00:23:00,000
I feel like Mary Magdalene
on resurrection day.
569
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,500
And that's not
the greatest miracle of all.
570
00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:04,870
Look. Look at the coders.
571
00:23:04,870 --> 00:23:07,000
They're all wearing
Pied Piper hoodies.
572
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,540
He pushed another commit.
573
00:23:08,540 --> 00:23:09,620
What the fuck?
574
00:23:09,620 --> 00:23:11,330
Flawless. Right?
575
00:23:11,330 --> 00:23:14,460
Um, it takes a while
to read a whole commit.
576
00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:16,540
They've been cheering
after every commit.
577
00:23:16,540 --> 00:23:18,330
I mean, they haven't,
but it's...
578
00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:19,460
it's great.
579
00:23:26,370 --> 00:23:28,040
I thought I had
to shit my pants.
580
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,670
So, I crouched.
581
00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:32,870
I actually vomited.
582
00:23:34,870 --> 00:23:37,750
Fight-or-flight reflex
kicked in and I just...
583
00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:42,120
Richard!
584
00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:43,710
Richard?
585
00:23:43,710 --> 00:23:45,210
Richard?
586
00:23:45,210 --> 00:23:46,620
Hey, buddy boy.
587
00:23:46,620 --> 00:23:50,000
Oh, there he is.
588
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,370
What's... what's going on?
589
00:23:52,370 --> 00:23:53,870
Don't flip out, okay?
590
00:23:53,870 --> 00:23:57,250
But you have been
in a coma for four years.
591
00:23:57,250 --> 00:23:58,330
What?
592
00:23:58,330 --> 00:23:59,870
That's correct.
593
00:23:59,870 --> 00:24:02,040
In fact,
I'm a robot.
594
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,920
The real Dr. Crawford
died heroically
595
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,790
in the water wars of 2020.
596
00:24:08,540 --> 00:24:11,000
Jokes, Richard!
597
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,370
I'm just joking around.
598
00:24:12,370 --> 00:24:14,120
What, did you sell
your sense of humor?
599
00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,330
You've just been out
for about six hours.
600
00:24:18,330 --> 00:24:20,670
You were not even unconscious,
really just asleep.
601
00:24:20,670 --> 00:24:22,670
But you did lose
a whole lot of blood.
602
00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:24,750
I just hope they
put the right kind back in.
603
00:24:26,250 --> 00:24:28,580
Wait, are you
still riffing?
604
00:24:29,750 --> 00:24:31,250
I don't know.
605
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:33,920
Richard, here's the bad news,
606
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,580
your arms and your torso
607
00:24:35,580 --> 00:24:37,210
took the brunt of the glass.
608
00:24:37,210 --> 00:24:38,580
If you'd cut your face up some,
609
00:24:38,580 --> 00:24:41,080
we could've gotten insurance
to pay for a whole remodel.
610
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,120
Gotta, you know...
611
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:43,920
give the old schnozzle
a much-needed trim,
612
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:45,370
you know
what I'm talking about.
613
00:24:45,370 --> 00:24:47,500
You gotta hate it
as much as everybody else.
614
00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:49,870
So what happened?
What were you,
615
00:24:49,870 --> 00:24:51,420
trying to ride one
of those hover boards
616
00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:53,170
around your office
like a nincompoop?
617
00:24:53,170 --> 00:24:54,960
Um, no.
618
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,500
I... I guess I just got
a little lost in the work.
619
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:01,920
All right.
Hop in, Frankenstein.
620
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,250
Let's get you out of here.
621
00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:05,080
Oh, uh...
622
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,000
I think what
you're trying to say is
623
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,290
Frankenstein's monster.
624
00:25:08,290 --> 00:25:09,580
What?
625
00:25:09,580 --> 00:25:11,750
I think you mean to call me
Frankenstein's monster
626
00:25:11,750 --> 00:25:12,750
'cause Frankenstein is the...
627
00:25:12,750 --> 00:25:14,040
Oh, you're one
of those guys, huh?
628
00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,330
No, I'm just... the doctor's
name is Frankenstein...
629
00:25:16,330 --> 00:25:18,290
I know. It's just an
annoying thing to point out.
630
00:25:18,290 --> 00:25:20,670
If you want
people to like you,
631
00:25:20,670 --> 00:25:22,330
just go along with what
they say and have fun.
632
00:25:26,830 --> 00:25:28,120
What?
633
00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:29,250
Richard!
634
00:25:29,250 --> 00:25:31,870
You should've called.
I would've picked you up.
635
00:25:31,870 --> 00:25:33,580
What's everybody doing here?
636
00:25:33,580 --> 00:25:34,960
The fuck does it look like?
637
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:35,960
We're working.
638
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,170
Look at 'em all, Richard.
639
00:25:37,170 --> 00:25:39,670
I mean, sure,
a three-day orientation
640
00:25:39,670 --> 00:25:41,500
might've been just as
effective and less bloody,
641
00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:42,750
but it wasn't you.
642
00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:44,580
But you found your own way
643
00:25:44,580 --> 00:25:49,000
to get these men and women,
these Pipers, to follow you.
644
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,460
You looked at these people
and you said,
645
00:25:50,460 --> 00:25:52,330
"I may not be
an inspiring speaker.
646
00:25:52,330 --> 00:25:54,830
"I may be twitchy,
647
00:25:54,830 --> 00:25:56,540
"and I might be strange,
648
00:25:56,540 --> 00:25:59,000
"and I might vomit
and I might defecate in my pants
649
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,120
"and I might throw
myself through a window.
650
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:02,710
"But I believe in
this company so much,
651
00:26:02,710 --> 00:26:05,790
I'll work so hard, I'll
literally risk my life for it."
652
00:26:05,790 --> 00:26:09,000
And that is the kind of leader
these people wanna follow.
653
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,250
Because now they know
nothing is gonna stop you.
654
00:26:12,250 --> 00:26:13,540
All right, then.
655
00:26:21,870 --> 00:26:24,000
Gavin Belson's office, please?
656
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,620
I need to talk to Hoover.
It's Jeff Washburn.
657
00:26:26,620 --> 00:26:28,210
Yes, thank you.
658
00:26:28,210 --> 00:26:30,420
This one came in third
with 46 votes.
659
00:26:30,420 --> 00:26:32,710
Cute. Next?
660
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,000
This one came in second
with 374 votes.
661
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,000
Nice, feels solid.
662
00:26:40,370 --> 00:26:43,250
And with 9,986 votes this,
663
00:26:43,250 --> 00:26:45,710
by far, was Hooli's favorite.
664
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,870
Hmm, I like it.
665
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,210
It's bold.
666
00:26:56,210 --> 00:26:58,830
Gavin B.
667
00:26:59,870 --> 00:27:01,790
Mr. Hoover?
You have a phone call.
668
00:27:01,790 --> 00:27:03,330
He said you'd know
what it was regarding.
669
00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:04,920
A Mr. Jeff Washburn.
670
00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:10,790
I am so exhausted.
671
00:27:10,790 --> 00:27:12,250
But the backseat of my Tesla's
672
00:27:12,250 --> 00:27:13,920
really comfy though,
right, Richard?
673
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,580
Definitely worth all
the money I'm spending on it.
674
00:27:16,580 --> 00:27:18,000
Good purchase.
675
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,370
Not a mistake.
676
00:27:19,370 --> 00:27:21,040
Uh...
677
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:22,500
my key doesn't work.
678
00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:24,250
Uh, let me try mine.
679
00:27:27,170 --> 00:27:28,210
What the fuck?
680
00:27:28,210 --> 00:27:29,460
Mine doesn't work either.
681
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:32,290
Yang. Move.
682
00:27:33,210 --> 00:27:34,460
Do you have a app idea?
683
00:27:34,460 --> 00:27:35,790
No.
684
00:27:35,790 --> 00:27:39,330
Sorry. Errich is gone.
685
00:27:39,330 --> 00:27:41,460
This is my incubator now.
686
00:27:41,460 --> 00:27:42,790
What?
687
00:27:42,790 --> 00:27:44,790
Your things are over there.
688
00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:47,500
What the fuck?
689
00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,670
You just took our shit
and threw it on the lawn?
690
00:27:49,670 --> 00:27:50,830
Gilfoyle,
691
00:27:50,830 --> 00:27:52,460
you are racist.
692
00:27:52,460 --> 00:27:53,620
And Richard...
693
00:27:54,710 --> 00:27:55,750
you are ugly.
694
00:27:55,750 --> 00:27:58,960
The Errich administration
is over.
695
00:27:58,960 --> 00:27:59,960
What?
What the fuck?
696
00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:01,790
You can't just
kick us out, Jian-Yang.
697
00:28:01,790 --> 00:28:06,120
Sorry. You are victims
of a circumstance.
698
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:07,290
Thank you.
699
00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:10,580
Jian-Yang.
700
00:28:11,670 --> 00:28:12,790
What the fuck?
701
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,000
Why does the whole
neighborhood smell like bacon?
48875
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