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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,749 Here you go, boss. Three more orders. 2 00:00:08,750 --> 00:00:13,380 Wow! That is ten oil changes today! 3 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,409 I told you my idea for a $20 special would work. 4 00:00:16,410 --> 00:00:18,834 Uh, that was my idea. 5 00:00:20,060 --> 00:00:22,079 Norm, that doesn't make any sense. 6 00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:23,860 If it was your idea, 7 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:26,417 why would I be taking credit for it? 8 00:00:27,917 --> 00:00:30,322 Hey, buddy. How you doing, pal? 9 00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:33,999 Your guy said I should talk to you about your oil change special. 10 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,760 - Pretty amazing deal, huh? - Yeah. 11 00:00:35,780 --> 00:00:38,650 I don't like to brag, but that was my idea. 12 00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:40,980 And absolutely no one else's. 13 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:44,249 Wow. It's pretty smart. 14 00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:46,943 No wonder you're employee of the month for a year straight. 15 00:00:46,944 --> 00:00:49,900 Well, I don't like to brag about that, either, 16 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,949 but actually, it was, uh, 14 months. 17 00:00:52,950 --> 00:00:55,400 All I know is this is a much better deal 18 00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:56,760 than over at Motor Boys. 19 00:00:56,780 --> 00:00:58,880 They got to be shaking in their coveralls. 20 00:00:58,900 --> 00:00:59,999 Yeah. 21 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,359 You know, their sleazebag owner Victor Alvarez... 22 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,359 he's been trying to put me out of business for years. 23 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,262 - Hmm. - But it's ideas like this 24 00:01:06,263 --> 00:01:08,458 that keep me one step ahead of him. 25 00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:10,834 Yeah, whoever thought of that should probably get a raise. 26 00:01:14,042 --> 00:01:16,834 So, have you ever met this, uh, Alvarez jerk? 27 00:01:16,835 --> 00:01:21,240 No, no, but I would love to see the look on his slimy face 28 00:01:21,260 --> 00:01:24,499 when he realizes I outsmarted him again. 29 00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:25,749 Well, if you want to do that, 30 00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:26,999 all you have to do is look outside. 31 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,084 - What do you mean? - I mean this. 32 00:01:31,334 --> 00:01:34,167 _ 33 00:01:35,270 --> 00:01:36,583 You're Victor Alvarez? 34 00:01:36,584 --> 00:01:37,959 That's me. 35 00:01:39,459 --> 00:01:43,899 And it's nice to finally meet you face-to-face to face. 36 00:01:43,900 --> 00:01:47,749 Oh, yeah? Well, it's nice to meet you face-to-face 37 00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:50,209 to face, to face, to face, to face! 38 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,540 Well, this has been fun, but I have to go. 39 00:01:53,542 --> 00:01:56,717 I will be seeing you later, and you will be seeing me all day. 40 00:01:56,718 --> 00:01:59,209 Ha, ha! 41 00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:04,940 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 42 00:02:09,084 --> 00:02:10,949 I can't believe 43 00:02:10,950 --> 00:02:14,208 Victor put a giant Motor Boys ad up over your shop. 44 00:02:14,209 --> 00:02:16,429 Yeah, and just because they're a big chain, 45 00:02:16,430 --> 00:02:17,949 they think they can push us around. 46 00:02:17,950 --> 00:02:19,499 - That guy has some nerve. - Yeah. 47 00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:21,499 And some hair. 48 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,099 The last time I saw a mane like that, 49 00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:25,500 it was on Animal Planet eating a hyena. 50 00:02:27,084 --> 00:02:29,760 What we need is to figure out how to remind everybody 51 00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:32,449 that Calvin's Pit Stop is a fixture in the community. 52 00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:34,080 - Oh. - Exactly. 53 00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:36,120 Whatever it is should tie into the neighborhood, 54 00:02:36,140 --> 00:02:39,041 like some kind of a local charity promotion. 55 00:02:39,042 --> 00:02:41,193 Yeah, that is a great idea. You know what? 56 00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:43,520 We can team up with a nearby animal shelter 57 00:02:43,540 --> 00:02:46,834 and give every customer a free rescue kitten. 58 00:02:48,292 --> 00:02:49,859 That's ridiculous. 59 00:02:49,860 --> 00:02:51,333 What if they don't want a kitten? 60 00:02:51,334 --> 00:02:55,334 Well, then maybe they're not the kind of customer you want. 61 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:01,749 Okay. How about we have a food drive at the local food pantry, 62 00:03:01,750 --> 00:03:03,989 and everyone who donates a bag of food 63 00:03:03,990 --> 00:03:05,124 gets a free oil change? 64 00:03:05,125 --> 00:03:06,791 - Mm. - Or even better. 65 00:03:06,792 --> 00:03:09,182 - Oh. - We team up with a local food pantry, 66 00:03:09,183 --> 00:03:11,449 give away free oil changes to everyone 67 00:03:11,450 --> 00:03:13,083 that comes in with a bag of food. 68 00:03:13,084 --> 00:03:15,624 Boom! Boom! 69 00:03:15,625 --> 00:03:18,583 - Yes. - Calvin, that's exactly what I just said. 70 00:03:18,584 --> 00:03:22,209 Okay, Tina. I guess some people need all the credit. 71 00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:25,659 - Uh... - You know what? 72 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:27,740 One of the moms at my school is a local TV reporter. 73 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:28,834 I'll ask her to cover it. 74 00:03:28,835 --> 00:03:31,580 Great! You know what? We'll get some press, 75 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,583 create a little new business, 76 00:03:33,584 --> 00:03:36,589 and rip Victor's beating heart out of his chest, 77 00:03:36,590 --> 00:03:40,499 and I'll just squeeze it and throw it on the floor. 78 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:42,333 And feed the hungry, right? 79 00:03:42,334 --> 00:03:44,875 Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we'll do that, too. 80 00:03:53,209 --> 00:03:54,833 Oh, hey, Malcolm. What you doing? 81 00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:57,389 I am going through the pantry to get some donations together 82 00:03:57,390 --> 00:03:59,082 for Mom and Pop's food drive. 83 00:03:59,083 --> 00:04:01,699 Oh, cool. Uh, just don't touch anything on my snack shelf. 84 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,972 I like to reward myself after a hard day's work. 85 00:04:03,973 --> 00:04:05,417 And before one, too. 86 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:09,080 You know, I don't even know how you eat that junk. 87 00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:11,499 Everything here is filled with processed sugars 88 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:12,623 and empty calories. 89 00:04:12,624 --> 00:04:14,360 Actually, that's the healthy food. 90 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:16,380 My snack shelf is over there. 91 00:04:17,620 --> 00:04:19,460 You know, I'm serious, Marty. 92 00:04:19,470 --> 00:04:21,791 You need to stop eating like this and start working out. 93 00:04:21,792 --> 00:04:22,955 Hey, man, I work out. 94 00:04:22,956 --> 00:04:24,719 Marty, the only crunches you do 95 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,500 come out of a box of Fiddle Faddle. 96 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:30,373 Come on, little bro. You should let me train you. 97 00:04:30,374 --> 00:04:32,280 You? What do you know about training, 98 00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:34,625 besides teaching our old dog how to pee on my pillow? 99 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,100 I know everything about training. 100 00:04:38,103 --> 00:04:40,041 I used to be a professional athlete. 101 00:04:40,042 --> 00:04:41,916 Yeah, but that was, like, ten years ago. 102 00:04:41,917 --> 00:04:45,624 So? I'm in better shape now than I was then. 103 00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:48,084 And I get even more dates. 104 00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:51,850 All right, fine, but if I get in better shape than you, 105 00:04:51,853 --> 00:04:53,649 I'm taking revenge for my pillow. 106 00:04:53,650 --> 00:04:55,625 My head smelled like a dog park for a month. 107 00:04:55,626 --> 00:04:56,660 Oh. 108 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,600 Hey, Tina. We brought over some stuff for the food drive. 109 00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:03,167 Yeah, we cleaned out the whole pantry. 110 00:05:03,168 --> 00:05:05,400 If there's an earthquake, flood or zombie apocalypse, 111 00:05:05,420 --> 00:05:06,875 - we're gonna have to eat Grover. - Yes. 112 00:05:06,876 --> 00:05:09,800 Aw, I love Grover. 113 00:05:09,820 --> 00:05:12,083 But you gotta do what you gotta do. 114 00:05:12,084 --> 00:05:15,272 Here at Calvin's Pit Stop, 115 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,624 we love supporting our community. 116 00:05:17,625 --> 00:05:18,999 And take it from me, 117 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,699 Calvin, of Calvin's Pit Stop, 118 00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:26,199 where giving back is our number one priority 119 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,124 here at Calvin's Pit Stop. 120 00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:30,959 �Hola, mis amigos! 121 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:36,916 Victor, what are you doing here at... Calvin's Pit Stop? 122 00:05:36,917 --> 00:05:38,084 Don't worry, Alvin. 123 00:05:38,085 --> 00:05:42,032 I'm just here because Motor Boys loves charities. 124 00:05:42,033 --> 00:05:44,869 And what bigger charity case is there 125 00:05:44,870 --> 00:05:47,720 than Calvin's Pit Stop? 126 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,480 Well, thank you, Victor. I appreciate the plug. 127 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,712 It's obviously something you know a lot about, 128 00:05:55,713 --> 00:05:57,000 looking at your hair. 129 00:05:58,330 --> 00:06:00,560 Ha, ha! That is very funny. 130 00:06:00,580 --> 00:06:04,416 But believe me, this is all real. 131 00:06:04,417 --> 00:06:08,292 Just like this. Felipe! 132 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:15,240 A $5,000 donation to the local food pantry. 133 00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:16,540 What? 134 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:17,958 Hey, get a close-up on this check. 135 00:06:17,959 --> 00:06:19,791 This story might actually make it on the air. 136 00:06:19,792 --> 00:06:21,624 Mr. Alvarez, 137 00:06:21,625 --> 00:06:24,669 can we get a comment from you on this generous donation? 138 00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:28,040 Sure. But today is not about me. 139 00:06:28,060 --> 00:06:31,220 Today is about the community Motor Boys serves 140 00:06:31,221 --> 00:06:33,379 with the highest quality 141 00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:35,480 and the lowest prices in town. 142 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,791 Can I do that again? Because I feel like I got a hair out of place. 143 00:06:37,792 --> 00:06:40,792 Felipe, my comb! 144 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,800 Come on, bro. 145 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:51,539 Ah! 146 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,460 I can't go on. 147 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,499 I gotta stop. I gotta stop. 148 00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:00,250 My lungs are collapsing. 149 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,080 Come on, Marty. 150 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:04,583 We haven't even run a mile. 151 00:07:04,584 --> 00:07:07,833 And don't think I didn't see you try to jump on that bus. 152 00:07:07,834 --> 00:07:10,692 Hey, man, I don't get it. 153 00:07:10,693 --> 00:07:11,916 You're barely even sweating. 154 00:07:11,917 --> 00:07:14,092 Oh, I'm not sweating at all. 155 00:07:14,093 --> 00:07:16,916 This is yours from when you tried to get me to carry you. 156 00:07:16,917 --> 00:07:19,250 Yeah. 157 00:07:19,263 --> 00:07:21,499 Okay, man, let's just... let's just do some stretching to cool down. 158 00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:23,839 Oh, man, can't I just lie here in the grass, 159 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,380 and you turn the sprinklers on me? 160 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:30,829 - Marty? - Huh? 161 00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:34,300 Take it from an elite athlete, stretching after a workout 162 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:35,833 is the best way to prevent an injury. 163 00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:38,952 Now, come on, man, just... just do what I do. 164 00:07:38,953 --> 00:07:40,166 - All right, fine. - All right. 165 00:07:44,860 --> 00:07:46,660 Come on! 166 00:07:46,663 --> 00:07:47,791 Now, ah... 167 00:07:47,792 --> 00:07:50,124 You gotta give yourself... 168 00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:51,666 a full range... 169 00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:53,666 - of motion. - Uh-huh. 170 00:07:53,667 --> 00:07:55,399 No! 171 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,819 - What was that? - Ooh, ooh-ooh, that was nothing. 172 00:07:57,820 --> 00:07:58,980 That's just a... 173 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,460 That's a noise that athletes make 174 00:08:00,470 --> 00:08:02,709 - when we stretch. - Why? 175 00:08:02,710 --> 00:08:05,300 Well, we... we also worked out our lungs, 176 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,780 so we gotta stretch them, too. 177 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,780 - Yeah, that makes sense. - Yeah. 178 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,499 - All right, all right, let me try. Uh... - Okay. 179 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,249 Uh... Ooh... ! 180 00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:17,199 Ooh! Ah. 181 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,440 I can't believe I've been doing that wrong my whole life. 182 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,080 After all, what's the point of owning 183 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:26,060 the most successful auto shops in all of Southern California 184 00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,374 if you can't write big checks like this? 185 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:31,041 $5,000 is a lot of money. 186 00:08:31,042 --> 00:08:33,349 No, I meant that giant check. Are you kidding me? 187 00:08:33,350 --> 00:08:34,834 Those things cost, like, $100 each. 188 00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:37,579 This is terrible. 189 00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:40,339 Victor is totally stealing the spotlight from you. 190 00:08:40,340 --> 00:08:42,623 She's right, baby. We gotta do something. 191 00:08:42,624 --> 00:08:43,919 - Yeah. - You say the word, 192 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,042 and I can have 50 kittens here in a half an hour. 193 00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:50,622 No, Dave, I got a better idea. 194 00:08:50,623 --> 00:08:52,849 But if I find out he's allergic to cats, 195 00:08:52,850 --> 00:08:53,875 it's go time. 196 00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:58,279 So, Victor, you know, it's great to hear 197 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,480 that we're on the same page about giving back 198 00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:01,582 to those in need. 199 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,460 Absolutely, Calvin. And your gesture is proof 200 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,879 that no shop is too small to make a difference. 201 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,334 An incredibly poquito, barely noticeable difference. 202 00:09:12,910 --> 00:09:15,214 Well, since you feel that way, 203 00:09:15,215 --> 00:09:16,769 I think I have an idea 204 00:09:16,770 --> 00:09:19,333 how we can make an even bigger difference. 205 00:09:19,334 --> 00:09:20,666 How? 206 00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:23,010 I propose a challenge! 207 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,749 We'll both pick our best mechanic, 208 00:09:26,750 --> 00:09:30,760 and have a race to see who can build an engine the fastest. 209 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:34,699 The loser donates another $5,000 to the food pantry. 210 00:09:34,700 --> 00:09:37,240 Wow, another $5,000. 211 00:09:37,270 --> 00:09:39,542 That's a lot of money... for you, not for me. 212 00:09:42,042 --> 00:09:43,781 It doesn't matter how much money it is 213 00:09:43,782 --> 00:09:46,340 because... because Calvin is gonna win. 214 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:47,579 - Exactly. - Yeah. 215 00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:50,579 Which is why we're doubling the bet to $10,000. 216 00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:52,820 You tell 'em, Dave. Wait, whoa. What are you telling 'em? 217 00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:55,659 It's a deal! 218 00:09:55,660 --> 00:09:58,499 We will see you tomorrow, Calvin. See you tomorrow, little guy, 219 00:09:58,500 --> 00:09:59,792 who needs to condition his hair. 220 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,580 Felipe, we ride! 221 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,200 Give me that, Felipe. 222 00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:06,958 Well, you better bring your giant pen, 223 00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:09,249 'cause you're gonna be writing an even bigger check tomorrow! 224 00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:11,791 'Cause I'm gonna... 225 00:10:11,792 --> 00:10:14,209 No wonder these things are $100. They're really well made. 226 00:10:22,260 --> 00:10:25,160 Calvin, I can't believe you challenged him to this contest. 227 00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,159 We can't afford $10,000. 228 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,420 I'm not the one that made it 10,000. 229 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,375 That was Mr. Kittens over there. 230 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:35,840 It doesn't matter, Calvin, 231 00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:37,280 because you're gonna beat this guy. 232 00:10:37,300 --> 00:10:38,914 You're the best mechanic in town. 233 00:10:38,915 --> 00:10:41,079 Yeah, and plus, you've got Norm on your team. 234 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,120 He's almost as good as you. 235 00:10:43,140 --> 00:10:45,039 You know what, she's right. 236 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,260 You are good. 237 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,667 Even though you try to steal my ideas every now and then. 238 00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:52,870 So, Calvin, you ready to get this party started? 239 00:10:52,881 --> 00:10:55,709 Since your engine probably won't. 240 00:10:57,370 --> 00:10:59,380 What do you mean, get started? 241 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,708 Your assistant mechanic's not even here yet. 242 00:11:01,709 --> 00:11:04,709 Oh, yes, he is. But yours isn't. 243 00:11:05,660 --> 00:11:08,209 Right, Norm? 244 00:11:10,780 --> 00:11:12,370 Seriously, Norm? 245 00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:14,959 You'd stab me in the back after everything I taught you? 246 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,720 I'm sorry, Calvin, but... 247 00:11:16,740 --> 00:11:18,334 he offered me employee of the month. 248 00:11:19,875 --> 00:11:22,592 You know what, fine, Victor. 249 00:11:22,593 --> 00:11:24,789 You can put up your billboards, 250 00:11:24,790 --> 00:11:27,820 steal my employees and flaunt your giant checks, 251 00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:29,791 but none of your slick tricks are gonna work, 252 00:11:29,792 --> 00:11:33,041 because I'm so good, I can beat the two of you by myself. 253 00:11:33,042 --> 00:11:35,708 Yeah, that's right, which is why we're doubling... 254 00:11:35,709 --> 00:11:37,125 Dave, no! 255 00:11:40,792 --> 00:11:45,270 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 256 00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:50,875 Oh... 257 00:11:52,375 --> 00:11:53,958 - Hey! - Hey! 258 00:11:53,959 --> 00:11:57,708 - There's the elite athlete. - Here I am. 259 00:11:57,709 --> 00:11:59,732 I'm just reading about these peas, you know. 260 00:11:59,733 --> 00:12:02,167 Oh, they're still good for you. They can stay. 261 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:05,333 I've got to say, Malcolm, 262 00:12:05,334 --> 00:12:06,802 yesterday was tough. 263 00:12:06,803 --> 00:12:09,166 But I woke up feeling really good about this. 264 00:12:09,167 --> 00:12:11,672 And it's all thanks to you, man. 265 00:12:11,673 --> 00:12:15,909 Aah! I-I am so glad you feel that way. 266 00:12:15,910 --> 00:12:18,520 Okay, so what's on the schedule for today, Coach? 267 00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:20,291 A little weight training? Some cardio? 268 00:12:20,292 --> 00:12:21,707 Or find a place that has a ton of stairs. 269 00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:24,308 You know, I'd love to get a little Rocky montage in for Instagram. 270 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,199 Actually, uh, M-Marty, 271 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,760 maybe we should take today off. 272 00:12:29,780 --> 00:12:32,592 Because if you push too hard, you could get hurt, 273 00:12:32,593 --> 00:12:34,874 and then you'll have to walk over to the couch like this. 274 00:12:34,875 --> 00:12:38,909 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 275 00:12:38,910 --> 00:12:41,080 Hey, come on, man, I'll be fine. 276 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:43,791 Besides, I'll never get in shape like you by skipping workouts. 277 00:12:43,792 --> 00:12:46,699 - Uh... - Here... put your shoes on. 278 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:50,220 No, no... Aah! I will see you out there. 279 00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,000 Come on, Calvin! You can do it. 280 00:12:56,020 --> 00:12:57,167 Yeah, baby! 281 00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:58,519 And if you run out of grease, 282 00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,209 there's a head full of it over there! 283 00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:04,392 Looks like Calvin's falling behind. 284 00:13:04,393 --> 00:13:07,208 Victor and Norm already have their shiny doohickey 285 00:13:07,209 --> 00:13:09,999 on their big, oily thingamabob. 286 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,140 I know you don't know what you're saying, 287 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,042 but it is so sexy when you talk cars. 288 00:13:16,709 --> 00:13:18,860 Calvin, I gotta say I'm impressed 289 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,079 that you're keeping up. 290 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:21,200 When I shut you down, 291 00:13:21,220 --> 00:13:22,542 you can come and work for me. 292 00:13:22,543 --> 00:13:25,458 I take two creams and one sugar. 293 00:13:25,459 --> 00:13:27,249 Not a chance. 294 00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:28,709 But if you need a job, 295 00:13:28,710 --> 00:13:32,060 I can always use one of those inflatable floppy guys 296 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,620 out front doing this. 297 00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:40,779 You're good at that. When I put you out of business, 298 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:43,292 you can open a dance studio, huh? Ol�. 299 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:51,870 Come on, Calvin. 300 00:13:51,875 --> 00:13:52,916 You can beat this guy. 301 00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:55,083 This is a classic underdog story. 302 00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:57,551 Y-You're like David fighting Goliath. 303 00:13:57,552 --> 00:14:00,519 I mean, if... if Goliath stole David's best shepherd 304 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:01,666 at the last minute. 305 00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:04,799 And, well, if David was actually named Calvin, 306 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,041 who, coincidentally, had a best friend named Dave. 307 00:14:08,042 --> 00:14:10,624 Am I crazy, or is Calvin starting to move faster? 308 00:14:10,625 --> 00:14:12,792 I know. It's like the more Dave bothers him, 309 00:14:12,793 --> 00:14:14,420 the faster he works. 310 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,400 Wait, I think I know what's happening. 311 00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:19,640 After all of these years of listening to Dave yapping, 312 00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:21,041 Calvin's learned how to tune him out. 313 00:14:21,042 --> 00:14:23,333 It's helping him focus. 314 00:14:23,334 --> 00:14:26,409 What are you talking about? I am not bothering him. 315 00:14:26,410 --> 00:14:27,600 This is the face he makes 316 00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:30,200 when he is listening intently to everything I say. 317 00:14:30,209 --> 00:14:32,159 No, Dave, 318 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:35,120 I think Tina's right. It is helping. 319 00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:36,479 I can't believe I'm about to say this, 320 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,500 but, uh, give me all the annoying Dave you got. 321 00:14:41,940 --> 00:14:43,400 Well, that's all I needed to hear. 322 00:14:44,990 --> 00:14:47,916 So, in the fourth grade, I sat behind Mary Wheeler, 323 00:14:47,917 --> 00:14:49,583 who was so tall I couldn't see the board. 324 00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:52,166 But when they moved me to the front, 325 00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:54,874 I still couldn't see, and that's when we all realized 326 00:14:54,875 --> 00:14:57,750 that I was blind as a bat. 327 00:14:57,770 --> 00:14:59,499 Luckily, later on... 328 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:03,619 So most people think that the grocery store Smart and Final 329 00:15:03,620 --> 00:15:05,299 is named that because it's an excellent place 330 00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:06,375 for one-stop shopping. 331 00:15:06,376 --> 00:15:09,699 But the truth is, it's named after its founders, 332 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,374 Jim Smart and H.D.... 333 00:15:12,375 --> 00:15:14,329 Final. 334 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:17,750 How cool is that?! 335 00:15:21,140 --> 00:15:24,369 So I roll down my window and I hand the cop my license. 336 00:15:24,370 --> 00:15:27,399 But I-I hear a voice that I recognize, 337 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:29,124 and I look up, way up, 338 00:15:29,125 --> 00:15:31,291 and, you guessed it, right there, 339 00:15:31,292 --> 00:15:32,750 it's Mary Wheeler. 340 00:15:34,417 --> 00:15:36,583 Tallest cop you've ever seen. 341 00:15:36,584 --> 00:15:38,374 She said she didn't recognize me, 342 00:15:38,375 --> 00:15:40,030 but I don't totally believe her. 343 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:43,790 Whoo! 344 00:15:43,792 --> 00:15:45,922 Ah! Ow! 345 00:15:51,131 --> 00:15:52,332 I didn't think I was gonna make it. 346 00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:53,679 But thank God you kept the pressure on 347 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,699 - with all that screaming at me. - Yeah. 348 00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:58,580 Yeah, I'm glad it worked, 349 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:00,259 'cause I'll probably be screaming at you 350 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,459 through the cool-down, too. 351 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,872 Oh, hey, man, thanks again for doing this. 352 00:16:04,873 --> 00:16:06,699 I never would have got started if you hadn't pushed me. 353 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:07,833 - Yeah. - Bring it in. 354 00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:09,999 No. No. No, don't. You... 355 00:16:15,250 --> 00:16:16,958 Yeah, man, great run! 356 00:16:16,959 --> 00:16:18,125 Aah! 357 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,439 Oh, Marty, I'm not celebrating our run. 358 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,042 I'm in excruciating pain. 359 00:16:25,063 --> 00:16:27,180 - What? - Ow! 360 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,179 I threw my back out yesterday when we were exercising, 361 00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:34,083 and I've been trying to hide it ever since. 362 00:16:34,084 --> 00:16:35,780 Whoa. 363 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:37,540 Why didn't you say anything? 364 00:16:37,542 --> 00:16:39,041 Because it's embarrassing, man. 365 00:16:39,042 --> 00:16:41,679 I was bragging about being an elite athlete, 366 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:43,380 and saying you were out of shape, 367 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,382 and then I get hurt stretching. 368 00:16:45,383 --> 00:16:47,799 That's like a guy calling himself a ladies' man 369 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,874 and, you know, taking his mama to the school dance. 370 00:16:50,875 --> 00:16:53,959 Hey, man, I didn't take her. She was a chaperone. 371 00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:58,829 You know what I mean. 372 00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:00,100 Of course I do. 373 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,819 But you don't need to be embarrassed in front of me, man, 374 00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:03,499 - I'm your brother. - Yeah, but still... 375 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,060 No "but still," Malcolm. 376 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,580 If you can't be real with me, who can you be real with? 377 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,809 Aw, you're right. 378 00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:13,760 You're right, little bro, I was just being dumb. 379 00:17:13,770 --> 00:17:16,209 You know what, thank you for being so cool about this, man. 380 00:17:16,980 --> 00:17:19,029 Yeah, no problem, man. Let's get you inside 381 00:17:19,030 --> 00:17:20,860 - so you can ice your back. - Yeah. 382 00:17:22,123 --> 00:17:23,541 All right. 383 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:25,529 And for the record, it was a Sadie Hawkins dance. 384 00:17:25,530 --> 00:17:27,875 - So technically, Mama invited me. - Oh... 385 00:17:29,750 --> 00:17:32,541 Come on, Dave, they're neck and neck. 386 00:17:32,542 --> 00:17:33,791 Yeah, baby. 387 00:17:33,792 --> 00:17:35,479 Come on, you gotta Dave it up a notch. 388 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,416 - Yeah. - I can't. I'm exhausted. 389 00:17:37,417 --> 00:17:39,602 I've told every story that Calvin's ignored 390 00:17:39,603 --> 00:17:41,790 or walked away from in the last three years. 391 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,167 For the past 15 minutes, I even annoyed myself. 392 00:17:47,910 --> 00:17:50,240 What's the matter over there, Calvin? 393 00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:51,984 Huh? You look like you're running out of steam. 394 00:17:51,985 --> 00:17:53,140 Oh, which reminds me, 395 00:17:53,170 --> 00:17:55,500 sometimes I like foam milk on my latte. 396 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,439 Come on, Dave, you gotta come up with something, man. 397 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:02,922 A-Anything. What... 398 00:18:02,923 --> 00:18:04,874 what about the first time you cried at a concert? 399 00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:07,624 W... I already told you. 400 00:18:07,625 --> 00:18:10,000 Sugar Ray. Haven't you been listening? 401 00:18:11,459 --> 00:18:14,409 Come on, baby, hurry up. They're almost done. 402 00:18:14,410 --> 00:18:16,240 I'm trying, babe, but... 403 00:18:16,270 --> 00:18:19,041 I just don't think I can do it without Dave. 404 00:18:19,042 --> 00:18:21,291 Come on, Calvin, that's not true. 405 00:18:21,292 --> 00:18:25,458 Look, the reality is, is you never needed me in the first place. 406 00:18:25,459 --> 00:18:28,579 'Cause you can do this on your own. 407 00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:30,080 You always could. 408 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:33,958 Look, you're like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. 409 00:18:33,959 --> 00:18:36,541 She thought that she needed the Wizard's help to get home, 410 00:18:36,542 --> 00:18:38,030 but all she ever had to do 411 00:18:38,031 --> 00:18:40,667 was click her ruby red slippers together and believe. 412 00:18:42,917 --> 00:18:44,705 Oh, my God, he's speeding up again. 413 00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:45,900 That's it, Dave. 414 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,540 That's exactly the kind of dumbass jabbering he needs. 415 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,100 - Go, go, go, go, go. - What do you mean, jabbering? 416 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,374 - Yeah. - I was just trying to get Calvin to do... 417 00:18:53,375 --> 00:18:56,417 ... exactly that! 418 00:18:57,792 --> 00:19:00,041 Boom! You hear that? 419 00:19:00,042 --> 00:19:02,422 That's the sound of me... 420 00:19:02,423 --> 00:19:03,749 kicking your ass! 421 00:19:03,750 --> 00:19:05,880 You did it, baby. Mwah! 422 00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:07,666 You did it. We knew you could. 423 00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:09,422 Yeah, you just dropped a house 424 00:19:09,423 --> 00:19:11,625 on the Wicked Victor of the West. 425 00:19:12,917 --> 00:19:15,666 Well, Calvin, congratulations. 426 00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:18,208 I must admit you are a hell of a good mechanic. 427 00:19:18,209 --> 00:19:19,541 And you are very patient, too. 428 00:19:19,542 --> 00:19:21,792 I would have thrown a wrench at that guy an hour ago. 429 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,899 So, Victor, are you gonna make good 430 00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:27,791 on that ten grand to the food pantry? 431 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,850 I am a man of my word. But this isn't over. 432 00:19:30,851 --> 00:19:33,709 I'll be back for you, and your little dog, too. 433 00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:38,040 He's not a little dog. He's my friend! 434 00:19:38,042 --> 00:19:41,417 In fact, he's the Jim Smart to my H.D. Final! 435 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,705 Hold on. I-I thought you weren't listening. 436 00:19:46,706 --> 00:19:48,420 Oh, most of it I can block out, 437 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,917 but actually, that one was pretty interesting. 438 00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:56,124 This is Sugar Ray all over again. 439 00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:57,650 Oh, honey... 440 00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:04,582 This is so exciting. 441 00:20:04,583 --> 00:20:06,852 I can't believe we're gonna be on the news. 442 00:20:06,853 --> 00:20:08,120 You guys deserve it. 443 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,980 You raised a lot of money for charity 444 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,209 and showed that sometimes the underdog can win. 445 00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:14,349 Exactly. You know, it reminds me of 446 00:20:14,350 --> 00:20:16,124 that end-of-summer-camp talent show 447 00:20:16,125 --> 00:20:18,083 when me and my ukulele squared off against... 448 00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:20,202 Okay, Dave, we've already won. 449 00:20:20,203 --> 00:20:22,290 You can stop being annoying now. 450 00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,072 Ooh, there it is! 451 00:20:25,073 --> 00:20:26,671 - We're on. Turn it up. - All right. 452 00:20:26,672 --> 00:20:28,160 And, in a local story, 453 00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:29,799 two Pasadena auto shops 454 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,374 decided to go head-to-head for a good cause. 455 00:20:32,375 --> 00:20:34,082 All right, here it comes, here it comes. 456 00:20:34,083 --> 00:20:36,379 Regional chain Motor Boys learned not to mess 457 00:20:36,380 --> 00:20:38,749 with the little guy when neighborhood auto shop Calvin... 458 00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:40,380 Oh... 459 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,407 Oh, we are gonna cut away right now 460 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:44,583 - for some breaking news. - What?! 461 00:20:44,584 --> 00:20:48,332 We are going live to a warehouse fire, 462 00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:50,583 where firefighters have just rescued 463 00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:52,720 a litter of adorable kittens. 464 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,560 Kittens! 465 00:20:55,580 --> 00:20:58,209 See, there's an idea. Why didn't anybody think of that? 466 00:21:00,490 --> 00:21:05,490 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 35061

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