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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:04,671 Why don't you want to kiss me? I'm kissable, damn it! 2 00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:07,716 Are you even listening to me? 3 00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:10,636 Yes, I just find these tea bags 4 00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:13,847 need to be coaxed in order to steep properly. 5 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,516 Can we get back to the fact 6 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,559 that my husband never wants to kiss me again? 7 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,144 Is there a chance 8 00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:21,188 you're exaggerating the situation? 9 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,731 None. 10 00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,816 Shall I relive the horror all over again 11 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:27,361 now that your orange pekoe's squared away? 12 00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,404 Yeah, sure, relive. 13 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:34,826 I can't wait to see what you think of my sauce. 14 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,286 I went for sweet 15 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,205 with a little bit of heat. 16 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,623 And you're sure the ribs are cooked enough? 17 00:00:39,623 --> 00:00:42,209 I know they were only on there for 12 hours. 18 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,836 It was six. 19 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,754 You might need to squeeze harder. 20 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,216 Not that hard. 21 00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,301 So this is my fault? Well... 22 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,719 the goal was to squeeze some sauce 23 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,680 out of the opening, not a child. 24 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,602 What does this have to do with kissing, 25 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:02,187 you should be asking. 26 00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:10,237 I see what happened. 27 00:01:10,237 --> 00:01:12,656 A little chunk of onion got stuck in the nozzle. 28 00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:14,449 Well, what the hell's an onion doing in there? 29 00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:17,286 It's developing the depth of flavor. 30 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:19,288 And ruining our breath. It's date night. 31 00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:20,873 So much for kissing. 32 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:24,209 What's that supposed to mean? 33 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,254 Kissing. It's overrated. 34 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,797 Excuse me? 35 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,424 It's like salad. 36 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,967 I mean, you're happy to eat it but you really 37 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:33,552 just want to get to the main course. 38 00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:35,554 So what are we doing for foreplay now? 39 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:37,681 "Grab the sink, I'm coming in"? 40 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,477 I did not promise to love, honor, cherish 41 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:43,979 and never kiss again. 42 00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:45,981 That's nice. 43 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:49,484 I've also decided to go back to being a hopeless drunk. 44 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,570 Good for you. 45 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:53,447 Maybe even take up heroin. 46 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,282 Sounds like a plan. 47 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,307 All right, what's up with you? 48 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,850 You're totally distracted. 49 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:23,644 You haven't taken a single note. 50 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:24,520 Yes, I have. 51 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,313 Hey, no... 52 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:28,398 You have two squiggles and a blob. 53 00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,858 The two squiggles are you and Adam. 54 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,568 And the blob is... 55 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:33,320 your inner child. 56 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,364 Okay. 57 00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:37,658 I apologize, you have my undivided attention. 58 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,368 Sure, when we're almost done and I have to leave early 59 00:02:39,368 --> 00:02:40,869 for Tammy's sober birthday. 60 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,538 Okay, off you go. See you next week. 61 00:02:42,538 --> 00:02:43,956 That's it? 62 00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,541 No tools to help me deal with the fact 63 00:02:45,541 --> 00:02:47,543 that Adam thinks kissing is overrated? 64 00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:48,544 He does? 65 00:02:48,544 --> 00:02:49,711 Aah! 66 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:51,004 You're not getting paid today. 67 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,590 Hold everything. 68 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,592 What's that ceramic wizard doing here? 69 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:58,679 Casting a positive spell on your mental health. 70 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:03,433 Sandra took that during the divorce, and I remember 71 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:04,726 because I was relieved. 72 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,271 I didn't like the way it used to stare at me 73 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:09,398 during our sessions. 74 00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,818 You know, wizards can see through clothes. 75 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,945 How about that? 76 00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:16,905 All right, tell Tammy congratulations 77 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,991 on her sobriety and drive safely. 78 00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:21,243 You know, if my kiss-less marriage crumbles into the sea 79 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,911 between now and next week, it's on you. 80 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,913 Okay. 81 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,418 Don't listen to her. 82 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,213 I just need to get into my safe deposit box. 83 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,923 It's my friend's sober birthday. 84 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,592 So I'm gonna give her my little diamond pin. 85 00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:38,552 Lucky friend. 86 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,262 Yeah, well, her dad killed her mom 87 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,764 and she robbed a steakhouse and spent seven years in prison, 88 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,975 so, you know, good days, bad days. 89 00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:48,604 Okay, I'll go get the key. 90 00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:50,606 Be right back. 91 00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,651 Hey, you. 92 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,820 Hey! Hey, Jill. 93 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,947 Didn't expect to run into you here. 94 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,116 Looks like you didn't expect to run into anybody. 95 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,036 Yeah, these mighty calves 96 00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:05,871 are trapped in the prison of long pants all week. 97 00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:08,207 I like to turn 'em loose on my day off. 98 00:04:08,207 --> 00:04:09,208 I see. 99 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:10,667 And your feet? 100 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,754 Hey, it's everyone's day off. 101 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,006 I'm just teasing, you look good. 102 00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:18,800 Now go get on that tram and enjoy the Magic Kingdom. 103 00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,680 You done? 104 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,182 For now. 105 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,892 So what are you doing here? 106 00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:29,061 I was just picking out a new check design. 107 00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:31,563 Looks like the Raiders are staying in Vegas. 108 00:04:31,563 --> 00:04:33,232 Looks like you're going to Vegas. 109 00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:35,317 I'm done now. 110 00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,152 Do those shoes taste like circus peanuts? 111 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:38,904 I'm sorry. 112 00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:40,989 Done now. 113 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,119 Did you see the wizard? 114 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,998 You know, you have never actually spoken to me before, 115 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,543 and I would not have predicted those would be your first words. 116 00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:54,253 But while you're in a chatty mood, 117 00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:56,088 why does the wizard bother you, too? 118 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:01,301 Are you gonna put a curse on me 119 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,095 and you need to touch me to do it? 120 00:05:04,096 --> 00:05:06,056 The ex-wife. 121 00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:07,975 She's back? 122 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,941 Hey, while I have you here, 123 00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,985 what do you think about me and Scooby-Doo checks? 124 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,736 Cool that I like to solve mysteries 125 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,613 or creepy older guy with a van? 126 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:24,825 I think you just answered your own question. 127 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,577 Okay, what-what about Snoopy, 128 00:05:26,577 --> 00:05:28,078 but as the Red Baron, 129 00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:29,788 not just laying on a house. 130 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,207 We're ready for you, Ms. Kendall. 131 00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:34,251 Okay. 132 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:36,170 Well, it was fun running into you. 133 00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,838 Enjoy the rest of your day off. 134 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,965 Everyone, get on the floor! 135 00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:41,216 Get down and stay down! 136 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,676 Hit the dirt! 137 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,886 What? 138 00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:46,555 Get down. 139 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,015 Is this really happening? 140 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:50,184 Yes, it's really happening, just-just stay down. 141 00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:51,643 Did you bring your gun? 142 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:54,229 No, I'm off duty. Did you bring yours? 143 00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:56,899 Yeah, Andy, I always bring my gun to the bank. Okay... 144 00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,734 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm-I'm nervous. 145 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:00,110 You know, I haven't seen you in a while. 146 00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:02,738 I'm wearing shorts and now this. 147 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,159 Hello and welcome to the Tuesday speaker meeting... 148 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:08,911 Where are they? 149 00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,704 Honey, they'll be here. They're not gonna miss 150 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,497 giving you a cake for your sober birthday. 151 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,082 But the meeting's starting-- Wendy, 152 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,542 stall 'em-- you know what a heart attack 153 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,919 looks like. Fake one. 154 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:19,671 If I did it realistically, no one would notice. 155 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,548 They're silent killers. 156 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,967 You know, I didn't even want to take a cake. 157 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,928 Come on, it's nice to acknowledge 158 00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:27,846 how much time you've got for the newcomers. 159 00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,556 Three years is a big deal. 160 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,058 Nobody takes a cake in prison. 161 00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,185 They're considered weak, like books 162 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:35,187 or conjugal visits. 163 00:06:35,187 --> 00:06:36,897 Bonnie pushed me into this. 164 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,565 Now I have to do it without her? 165 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,234 Well, Marjorie and I are still here. 166 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,777 What about a stroke? Those are messy. 167 00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:43,612 Not always. 168 00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:45,531 You know, you brag all the time about being a nurse, 169 00:06:45,531 --> 00:06:47,658 but when the chips are down, where are you? 170 00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:52,246 Aha! 171 00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:53,580 Lean Cuisine! 172 00:06:54,665 --> 00:06:56,291 My God, we're not done? 173 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,793 A voice in my head said 174 00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,253 something wasn't right about you. 175 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,046 The wizard's back, you're counting calories, 176 00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:03,924 and Marta explicitly said Sandra was sniffing around. 177 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:07,052 You add those clues up, I think Sandra's sniffing around. 178 00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,263 That was one of the clues. 179 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:10,931 So you're saying I'm right. 180 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,808 No, I'm saying it's none of your business. 181 00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:14,226 Okay, switch seats, we need to talk. 182 00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:15,936 I'm not... Sit! 183 00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,944 Look, Bonnie, I am your therapist. 184 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,529 I'm not gonna talk to you about my personal life. 185 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:27,865 I'm the therapist. I'm in the therapist chair. 186 00:07:27,865 --> 00:07:29,950 The chair really has nothing to do with it. 187 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,743 Yes, it does-- it's about who's in the chair 188 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,161 and who's acting crazy, and I'm in the chair 189 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,621 and you're acting crazy. 190 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,206 What am I doing that's so crazy? 191 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,584 You're letting the woman who ruined your life back into it. 192 00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:40,252 We're just having dinner tonight. 193 00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,921 And six months from now, you'll be back in that corner crying, 194 00:07:42,921 --> 00:07:44,882 and I'll be the one helping you blow your nose. 195 00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,842 Now, you may want to go through that again, 196 00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:49,094 but I do not. 197 00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:53,932 What are they doing over there? 198 00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:55,893 They're clearing out the cash drawers. 199 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:59,188 Hopefully one of the tellers triggered the silent alarm. 200 00:07:59,188 --> 00:08:01,190 Well, how much longer do you think they'll take? 201 00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,984 You want me to ask them to move it along? 202 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:07,362 It's just, you see this in the movies all the time, 203 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,364 but in real life it goes a lot slower. 204 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:11,033 Yeah, well, we're in Napa. 205 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:12,451 Everything's slower. 206 00:08:12,451 --> 00:08:14,203 You know, if they decide to go out the back exit, 207 00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,537 they're gonna come right through here. 208 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:17,206 I don't want you to end up being a hostage. 209 00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:19,499 Well, thanks for putting that idea in my head. 210 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,043 Shh! 211 00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:23,378 See? I won't make a good hostage, I'm mouthy. 212 00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:25,214 Jill. I'm serious. 213 00:08:25,214 --> 00:08:27,132 I'll complain about the food too much. 214 00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,926 No, I got this. 215 00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,969 God, what are you doing? 216 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,472 I'm shielding you with my body. 217 00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,601 That's very sweet, but... 218 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:39,269 you're squishing me. 219 00:08:39,269 --> 00:08:41,021 Sorry, sorry. 220 00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:54,451 Hey! I said stay down! 221 00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,119 Was he just yelling at you? 222 00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:58,247 He's right, I peeked. 223 00:08:58,247 --> 00:08:59,957 I'm sorry, I've just never been 224 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:01,792 in this situation before. You're the professional. 225 00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:04,294 It's okay, the important thing is to just stay calm. 226 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,672 Okay, you know I don't do that well. 227 00:09:06,672 --> 00:09:08,340 Well, just, you know what? 228 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,676 Focus on your breathing, okay? Look-look into my eyes. 229 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,431 I'm sorry, I'm sweaty. 230 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,933 Did you work out? 231 00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:20,769 No, we're being robbed by men with guns. 232 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,938 Damn it, there goes my breathing! 233 00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:24,231 Okay, you got to do something to help me keep my mind off 234 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,024 what's really going on. 235 00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,235 O-Okay, okay, let's see, what's been going on with me? 236 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,071 I had my fantasy baseball draft about a week ago. 237 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,156 I waited too long on a catcher so I ended up 238 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,408 with the White Sox backup. 239 00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,118 That's not gonna go well. 240 00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:39,246 Also, um... 241 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,832 I've been thinking about you a lot lately. 242 00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,419 Really? 243 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:46,879 Yeah. 244 00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:48,839 What exactly were you thinking? 245 00:09:49,882 --> 00:09:53,051 That-that maybe I made a mistake. 246 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,846 That maybe I was crazy to let you go. 247 00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,764 Well, I thought so. 248 00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:04,813 Yeah, I definitely made a mistake. 249 00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:07,149 You're making another one now by talking. 250 00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:09,985 Let's get moving! 251 00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:12,154 Okay, they're gone. 252 00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:13,947 We can get up now. 253 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,495 Why would you let a woman who called you 254 00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,789 a toxic narcissist back into your life? 255 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:26,251 I don't think you get her sense of humor. 256 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:29,338 She's called me many things, but she's changed. 257 00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:30,714 Has she, or did she find life 258 00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:33,133 without a doormat husband more challenging? 259 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,302 Wow, you really don't like her. 260 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,679 That's because I'm Team Doormat. 261 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,432 Okay, you know, that's hurtful stuff, too. 262 00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:43,560 Was it as hurtful as when she cleaned you out in the divorce 263 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,271 and moved to Oregon to start her soy milk empire? 264 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,190 How could she have known there was a cold wind blowing 265 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:50,817 and its name was oat milk? 266 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,819 It's so good. 267 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,821 It really-- it-it's so foamy. 268 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:57,866 Soy, oat, it's-- it doesn't make a woman change. 269 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,451 But she has changed. How? 270 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:00,536 So many ways. 271 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:04,498 I also realized I was doing something wrong, too. 272 00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:05,999 Stick to her. 273 00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:08,794 Well, she's taken up cycling. 274 00:11:08,794 --> 00:11:12,339 My God, and here I am standing in the way of love. 275 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,465 Go to her, Trevor. 276 00:11:13,465 --> 00:11:14,758 Buy matching spandex shorts 277 00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:17,261 and cycle off into the sunset. 278 00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:19,638 You know, that sarcasm isn't exactly 279 00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,557 right out of the therapy handbook. 280 00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:24,852 You want the handbook? Why are you lying to yourself? 281 00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,688 Bonnie, this is somebody I once loved. 282 00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:29,398 I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt 283 00:11:29,398 --> 00:11:31,108 that it's gonna be different this time. 284 00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:33,068 I think you're going back to what's familiar 285 00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:34,653 because you're scared of being alone and you think 286 00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:37,114 you're never gonna meet anyone else ever again. 287 00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:42,411 May I please eat my Salisbury steak in peace? 288 00:12:00,179 --> 00:12:02,431 Thanks. Hi. Tammy, alcoholic. 289 00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:04,266 Hi, Tammy. 290 00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:05,559 You know, thanks to everyone who actually did 291 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,060 show up for my birthday. 292 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,729 It's my first time taking a cake. 293 00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:12,482 It's not even real, and I prefer pie, but thank you. 294 00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,610 The only reason I'm doing it today is because it's important 295 00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:16,445 to someone who couldn't even be bothered to be here. 296 00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:18,405 I mean, you feel me, Jim. 297 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,949 You're always saving a seat for someone who doesn't show. 298 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,619 You know, one of the things that AA 299 00:12:23,619 --> 00:12:25,370 has taught me is, you show up for people. 300 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,497 If you say you're gonna be somewhere, you're there. 301 00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:31,251 Look who's texting me. 302 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,544 We're supposed to turn our phones off. 303 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,755 I just want to sit. 304 00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:37,174 So, Bonnie said she's gonna be late, 305 00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:38,509 and we all know what that means. 306 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,763 Hang on, I'm texting her back. 307 00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:47,142 Well, I'm not even getting the three dots. That's real nice. 308 00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:50,646 Anyway, you know, I'm not here to complain. 309 00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:53,649 I'm here to celebrate the fact that I have three years 310 00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:56,276 of sobriety, which is pretty freakin' awesome. 311 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,320 Hang on, three dots. 312 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,113 Nope. 313 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,741 Bottom line is, I'm really grateful to be sober. 314 00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:03,742 Thanks a lot. 315 00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,792 - I don't know anything about the road that led you to Sandra. 316 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,085 Tell me about that. 317 00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:15,754 Not much of a road. 318 00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:17,548 More of a driveway, really. 319 00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:20,300 Uphill, had a basketball hoop, need to shovel the snow? 320 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,094 What-what does that mean? 321 00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:25,264 It means Sandra was the first relationship I ever had. 322 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,516 Ever? 323 00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,476 Well, there was somebody in high school, 324 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,395 but that was more of a friendship with a girl 325 00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:33,230 that I liked who didn't notice me. 326 00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:37,651 So you had one unrequited crush, then a wife, 327 00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,112 and yet you're guiding me through life. 328 00:13:40,112 --> 00:13:42,364 Yes, and I meant to tell you, I'm raising my rate. 329 00:13:42,364 --> 00:13:45,117 So, this crush, you ever ask her out? 330 00:13:45,117 --> 00:13:46,535 God, no. 331 00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:48,704 But once, I gave a report on Alaska 332 00:13:48,704 --> 00:13:53,250 and I said that I'd like to someday kayak the fjords, 333 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:57,671 and she said, "Wow, pretty cool." 334 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,840 What ever happened to her? I don't know. 335 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,592 Come on, you got divorced. You never looked her up? 336 00:14:01,592 --> 00:14:03,385 She sells real estate in Mendocino. 337 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:04,678 Has a pet turtle. 338 00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:09,600 You've been lonely for a whole year and you didn't call her? 339 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,476 You can't just pick up the phone and call somebody 340 00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:13,187 you haven't talked to in that many years. 341 00:14:13,187 --> 00:14:14,813 Yes, you can. You pick up the phone, 342 00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:17,065 you dial the sequence of numbers, they say, "Hello," 343 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:18,609 you say, "Hi, it's Trevor, the guy you caught 344 00:14:18,609 --> 00:14:20,360 staring at you all through high school." 345 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,361 And then she hangs up. 346 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,071 Or... 347 00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:25,032 she's been waiting for your call for 30 years. 348 00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:27,159 You think? 349 00:14:27,159 --> 00:14:29,328 No, probably not. 350 00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:30,746 But there is a good chance 351 00:14:30,746 --> 00:14:32,414 she won't call you a toxic narcissist. 352 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:34,666 And I'm not leaving till you do it. 353 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,502 And you know I'm stubborn, 354 00:14:36,502 --> 00:14:38,253 'cause you gave me a book about it, which I never read. 355 00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,630 And you can't make me. 356 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:45,093 Thanks for giving me a ride. 357 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,595 My hands are still shaking. 358 00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:48,222 Yeah, that was a pretty good kiss. 359 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,517 So... 360 00:14:51,517 --> 00:14:54,686 was what you said in there just adrenaline talking 361 00:14:54,686 --> 00:14:56,271 or did you really mean it? 362 00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:01,777 Because I don't want to go down that road again 363 00:15:01,777 --> 00:15:04,071 if-if it's not real. 364 00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,616 Look, I've b-- I've been thinking a lot 365 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,910 about our relationship, and, um... 366 00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:13,330 ...I was just scared. 367 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,123 Not "bank robbery with guns" scared. 368 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,333 "Getting married and having kids" scared, 369 00:15:16,333 --> 00:15:19,503 which is way worse. 370 00:15:21,296 --> 00:15:23,465 But you're not scared anymore? 371 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,467 Are you kidding? I'm terrified. 372 00:15:27,052 --> 00:15:29,471 But I-I realized in that bank that... 373 00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:33,350 ...I'd die for you. 374 00:15:34,393 --> 00:15:36,395 So, yeah, let's do this. 375 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:38,730 I'm in. 376 00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:43,569 So, where are you taking me, anyway? 377 00:15:43,569 --> 00:15:45,362 I actually have no idea. 378 00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:47,406 I can't drive and be emotionally honest at the same time. 379 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:52,744 Well, how about we just pull over and kiss some more? 380 00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:54,788 That's a solid idea. 381 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,749 I do like kissing. 382 00:15:57,749 --> 00:15:59,376 Me, too. 383 00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:05,048 Well, pull over. Right, right. 384 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,429 I'm sorry to hear that. 385 00:16:10,429 --> 00:16:11,847 She's divorced and miserable. 386 00:16:11,847 --> 00:16:13,599 Yes. 387 00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:14,892 Well, if you ever need someone to talk to... 388 00:16:14,892 --> 00:16:16,602 No. 389 00:16:16,602 --> 00:16:18,937 You want a new girlfriend, not a new patient. 390 00:16:18,937 --> 00:16:22,149 I mean, not as a therapist, I mean as a friend. 391 00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:24,151 M-More than a friend. I mean, start as friends 392 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,777 and see what happens. 393 00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:28,322 If it happens, it happens. You know, boy-girl stuff.... 394 00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:31,533 Hey, pull it together or the wizard dies. 395 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:33,744 How about dinner? 396 00:16:33,744 --> 00:16:35,787 With wine? Like a date. 397 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:40,667 Lunch with wine could work. Sure. 398 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,628 Sometimes I have eggs for lunch. 399 00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:44,087 Like a frittata. 400 00:16:45,214 --> 00:16:47,758 I don't know why I'm telling you this.... 401 00:16:47,758 --> 00:16:50,219 Let's do Saturday. 402 00:16:50,219 --> 00:16:52,471 Sounds great. I'll call you. 403 00:16:55,224 --> 00:16:57,351 Yeah! That's how it's done. 404 00:16:57,351 --> 00:16:59,353 No, it's not, but it worked. 405 00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:00,479 Wait. 406 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:02,648 Hand me that wizard. 407 00:17:09,696 --> 00:17:12,449 Now you are free. 408 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:24,336 I mean, it was eerie. 409 00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:26,797 Like a Stephen King level of eerie. 410 00:17:26,797 --> 00:17:30,759 Trevor smashed the wizard, it got ten degrees colder, 411 00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:35,180 and then Marta turned into a crow and flew away. 412 00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:36,723 Seriously? 413 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,351 I didn't see it, but I went inside to get my keys 414 00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:42,479 and when I came back out, there was just a bird. 415 00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:46,567 I'm sorry, who's Marta? 416 00:17:46,567 --> 00:17:49,361 Exactly. 417 00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:52,447 All right, look, since it seems you saved Trevor's life, 418 00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,741 you're forgiven for missing my birthday. 419 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,286 You're not gonna believe what happened to me. 420 00:17:57,286 --> 00:17:59,329 Just know you're gonna have to top a human 421 00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:00,789 who turned into a crow. 422 00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:04,168 Andy and I were in a bank robbery. 423 00:18:04,168 --> 00:18:06,503 He saved my life and we're in love again. 424 00:18:09,381 --> 00:18:11,884 They're really different stories, 425 00:18:11,884 --> 00:18:13,635 but I think Jill wins. 426 00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:24,938 So Trevor's taking a three-month leave of absence? 427 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:26,940 Yeah. He went to lunch with his high school crush, 428 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,359 and now they're going to kayak the fjords. 429 00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:32,404 So... 430 00:18:32,404 --> 00:18:35,741 the guy who grounds you e-emotionally 431 00:18:35,741 --> 00:18:40,621 twice a week is gone for th-three months? 432 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,791 He said I'd be okay without him. What do you think about that? 433 00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:48,795 I'm thinking you could still Zoom with him 434 00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,714 if there's an emergency, right? 435 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,466 Yeah, definitely. 436 00:18:52,466 --> 00:18:54,801 And I apologize in advance for the bad choices 437 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,012 I might make during this period. 438 00:18:57,012 --> 00:18:59,556 Apology accepted. 439 00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:02,518 Ha. You don't mean that. 440 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,315 Still not buying it. 441 00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:21,912 Okay, that one counted. 32039

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