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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,953 --> 00:00:35,745 Humans? 2 00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:36,996 So tiny! 3 00:00:39,916 --> 00:00:41,626 Why poke my foot? 4 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:45,213 Monk Tang, over here! 5 00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:45,964 Monk Tang. 6 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,257 Over here! 7 00:00:48,383 --> 00:00:50,385 You've been asleep for ages. 8 00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,887 We wanted to wake you... 9 00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:54,889 We have good news... 10 00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:57,225 Sorry. 11 00:00:58,518 --> 00:00:59,394 Sorry. 12 00:00:59,477 --> 00:01:00,520 Sorry. 13 00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:04,023 Monk Tang, we have great news to tell you. 14 00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:06,818 Congratulations! 15 00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,236 You're in the place... 16 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,030 ...you've always dreamed of. 17 00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,114 This is India? 18 00:01:12,156 --> 00:01:13,616 Correct! 19 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:15,577 India 20 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,538 I've reached my destination at last. 21 00:01:18,705 --> 00:01:20,832 Sorry. 22 00:01:25,295 --> 00:01:26,629 Master. 23 00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:31,718 You've shrunk too? 24 00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,769 Master, why are you in India too? 25 00:01:42,312 --> 00:01:45,106 Monk Tang, you haven't let me down. 26 00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:46,774 You wanted 22 sutras. 27 00:01:46,858 --> 00:01:50,403 They're loaded on 10 horse carts. 28 00:01:50,570 --> 00:01:51,904 They're yours if you want them. 29 00:01:51,988 --> 00:01:53,990 Help yourself. 30 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,076 But the main reason I'm here today... 31 00:01:57,327 --> 00:01:59,162 ...is to give you an award. 32 00:01:59,245 --> 00:02:00,246 What award? 33 00:02:00,413 --> 00:02:02,415 For living this long. 34 00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:14,761 Try it on. 35 00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:17,847 What an honor. 36 00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,517 I like it. 37 00:02:21,601 --> 00:02:23,227 Discreet or bold... 38 00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:25,063 You control it. 39 00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:28,399 The right side is brighter, you see? 40 00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,736 You can even it up. 41 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,738 May we ask for a few words? 42 00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,198 I need to think about it. 43 00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:39,410 Master! 44 00:02:39,494 --> 00:02:40,745 What... is going on? 45 00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,538 Have fun! 46 00:03:04,811 --> 00:03:07,105 Monk! Pay your way... 47 00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:08,548 ...or the boss will throw you out. 48 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:10,400 I know. 49 00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:16,948 Blindfold knife-throwing! Amazing physical feats! 50 00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:20,410 Roll up, roll up! Don't miss this! 51 00:03:26,541 --> 00:03:30,378 Our guest stars are travelers heading west... 52 00:03:31,504 --> 00:03:32,922 The pig, the fish and the monkey. 53 00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:35,341 Greatest show on earth. 54 00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:39,470 Only 2 cents per person. 55 00:03:39,554 --> 00:03:41,347 How about half price? 56 00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:42,890 Buy one, get one free? 57 00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:44,350 It's a deal. 58 00:03:44,434 --> 00:03:45,560 Thank you. 59 00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:47,937 Show time. 60 00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:51,315 The gorgeous... Pigsy! 61 00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:53,775 Woman... 62 00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,656 What's your name? Your age? 63 00:03:58,740 --> 00:03:59,949 Crazy! 64 00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:01,367 The great fish monster... 65 00:04:01,451 --> 00:04:03,661 ...Sandy! 66 00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,342 How dare you scare my kid! Shame on you! 67 00:04:19,010 --> 00:04:20,010 Money back! 68 00:04:21,012 --> 00:04:22,138 Money back? 69 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,848 Making me angry? 70 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:26,392 Money back! 71 00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:30,188 Give us another chance! 72 00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,105 We have more to show you. 73 00:04:31,189 --> 00:04:32,189 Give us another chance! 74 00:04:32,899 --> 00:04:33,983 If we don't like 'em... 75 00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:36,068 You pay everyone back double! 76 00:04:37,487 --> 00:04:38,571 All right. 77 00:04:39,572 --> 00:04:42,200 His Excellency... The Monkey King! 78 00:04:49,916 --> 00:04:51,292 Fake! Money back! 79 00:04:52,627 --> 00:04:54,629 Monkey, do some somersaults! 80 00:04:54,712 --> 00:04:56,547 Paying back double will clean us out! 81 00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:10,520 All right... 82 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,873 Your generosity will keep us fed for several days. 83 00:05:12,897 --> 00:05:14,065 Take it back. 84 00:05:15,066 --> 00:05:16,859 Boss, this monk cheats! 85 00:05:16,943 --> 00:05:19,821 He can't pay us back! Throw him out! 86 00:05:19,904 --> 00:05:22,114 You're a disgrace to my circus! Scram! 87 00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:27,578 Boss, we're not circus people. 88 00:05:27,954 --> 00:05:29,038 We are Buddhist monks. 89 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,582 Our road is long and hard, we are hungry. 90 00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:33,584 And I'm sick! 91 00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:36,337 My body aches. 92 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:39,006 It's been days since I last ate. 93 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:41,175 So pitiful? Come... 94 00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,428 These two buns... 95 00:05:44,804 --> 00:05:45,680 ...are for righteous men. 96 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:47,765 Men who deserve help. 97 00:05:47,849 --> 00:05:49,267 Are you worthy? 98 00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,370 We're really from the Great Tang Dynasty. 99 00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:53,271 We conquer demons. 100 00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:57,692 Monkey, show them your skills. 101 00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:14,917 Hit me. 102 00:06:15,877 --> 00:06:17,086 Hit me 103 00:06:17,295 --> 00:06:18,629 I can't do that, Brother Monkey 104 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,215 I'm not suicidal. 105 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,509 Shall I hit you then? 106 00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:25,887 I'd like that even less, Brother Monkey. 107 00:06:26,304 --> 00:06:28,139 Fine, you only live once, I'll hit you. 108 00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:34,061 Brother, you're hard as a rock! 109 00:06:34,145 --> 00:06:36,355 It's as if my whole arm is shattered! 110 00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:38,858 Pretty boy, have you no shame? 111 00:06:39,734 --> 00:06:40,794 Watch some more before you complain. 112 00:06:40,818 --> 00:06:42,361 And stop poking me 113 00:06:42,445 --> 00:06:43,445 I need to. 114 00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:49,118 Hit me... Master wants us to perform 115 00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:51,495 I'm hungry, I have no strength. 116 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,247 Again. 117 00:06:54,123 --> 00:06:56,250 That's no excuse for shirking. 118 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:57,710 Hit me, stupid! 119 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,479 I've heard there are fake demon-vanquishers around. 120 00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:02,131 They've left many people hurt. 121 00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,382 You must be the ones! 122 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:05,134 Yes, we're guilty. 123 00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:08,179 The problem is that my disciples are too strong. 124 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,181 Sure, you just keep on bragging... 125 00:07:23,653 --> 00:07:25,196 One blow is enough. 126 00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:26,781 Stop now. 127 00:07:33,037 --> 00:07:34,038 That'll do for now. 128 00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:38,000 You're so desirable! 129 00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:39,669 Let me stoke your fires a little. 130 00:07:41,379 --> 00:07:42,713 No! Get off me! 131 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:44,757 Monkey, don't just squat there. 132 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,258 Do something about it! 133 00:08:17,289 --> 00:08:19,834 I'm so sorry, that's really all from us. 134 00:08:19,917 --> 00:08:21,544 No charge for what you've just seen. 135 00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:22,627 Great sir. 136 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:26,048 Your performance is more than impressive. 137 00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,926 Say no more, try this candied fruit. 138 00:08:29,010 --> 00:08:30,386 Let us be brothers. 139 00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,973 Brother, now you've seen what they can do 140 00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:35,933 I wish they could control themselves better. 141 00:08:37,226 --> 00:08:39,562 We really do conquer demons. 142 00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:40,645 Of course you do. 143 00:08:41,731 --> 00:08:44,025 Monkey, come and apologize. 144 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:53,659 Pick up your head-band. 145 00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:58,873 Put it on. 146 00:09:00,875 --> 00:09:02,293 Wear it properly now 147 00:09:03,169 --> 00:09:04,628 I'm doing it. 148 00:09:06,130 --> 00:09:08,340 You talk while chewing a twig? Bad monkey! 149 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,470 I won't if you don't like it. 150 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:17,641 But stop calling me 'Bad monkey'! 151 00:09:18,851 --> 00:09:20,478 I can call you that if I want to. 152 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,228 Bad monkey. 153 00:09:21,312 --> 00:09:22,605 Bad monkey. 154 00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:23,981 Great! 155 00:09:24,315 --> 00:09:27,026 Say it just one more time... 156 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,486 I'm scared. 157 00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,654 It's horrible! Makes me so scared! 158 00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,281 Aren't you all afraid? 159 00:09:40,289 --> 00:09:42,249 Even if he throws tantrums. 160 00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:44,001 You can't be lenient. 161 00:09:44,085 --> 00:09:45,878 Let's all scold him together 162 00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:47,963 1, 2, 3... 163 00:09:48,047 --> 00:09:50,758 Bad monkey! 164 00:09:55,805 --> 00:09:57,014 "My boy, my boy..." 165 00:09:57,098 --> 00:10:00,309 "Why are you so bad?" 166 00:10:01,227 --> 00:10:02,603 "Bullying, cheating..." 167 00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:06,023 "Why make me so sad?" 168 00:10:06,148 --> 00:10:08,234 "Learn to be a good boy." 169 00:10:08,943 --> 00:10:10,694 "Learn to love." 170 00:10:11,779 --> 00:10:14,406 "Care for others." 171 00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:16,367 "Fill your heart with color" 172 00:10:17,952 --> 00:10:19,703 My good boy... 173 00:10:19,954 --> 00:10:23,290 "Hurry back to me." 174 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:25,543 "My embrace..." 175 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:30,714 My good boy... 176 00:10:30,798 --> 00:10:33,884 "Be sincere." 177 00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:38,305 "You're the one I love most." 178 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,153 Master, ours is just a small enterprise. 179 00:10:52,236 --> 00:10:54,905 What you see is all we have. 180 00:10:55,406 --> 00:10:57,366 If it's not enough for you... 181 00:10:57,449 --> 00:10:59,785 ...then all we can is offer our lives. 182 00:10:59,869 --> 00:11:01,162 Stop. 183 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:05,124 First, I'm not here to extort anything from you. 184 00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:06,625 Second... 185 00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:09,086 Never mind, I won't say it. 186 00:12:07,645 --> 00:12:12,358 JOURNEY TO THE WEST: THE DEMONS STRIKE BACK 187 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,746 When did your mother... 188 00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:26,956 ...start behaving like this? 189 00:12:27,248 --> 00:12:28,666 A few days ago 190 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:30,167 I don't know why. 191 00:12:30,251 --> 00:12:32,002 Soon after we moved here... 192 00:12:32,086 --> 00:12:33,462 ...she began talking nonsense. 193 00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:37,174 If I approach her... 194 00:12:37,967 --> 00:12:41,053 ...she scratches me like a mad thing. 195 00:12:41,929 --> 00:12:43,847 I have no idea why she's like this 196 00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,141 I'm completely exhausted. 197 00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,394 Luckily my two daughters... 198 00:12:48,519 --> 00:12:50,521 ...help me take care of my mother. 199 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,566 It wears them out. 200 00:12:55,276 --> 00:12:56,860 They're your daughters? 201 00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,279 God-daughters. 202 00:12:58,737 --> 00:12:59,738 How old are they? 203 00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:00,864 They just turned 16. 204 00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:03,575 They look a little haggard. 205 00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:06,161 They've been working too hard. 206 00:13:06,245 --> 00:13:07,746 They were radiant before. 207 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,331 How horrible! 208 00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:12,209 Grandma, have some congee. 209 00:13:12,293 --> 00:13:15,129 You haven't eaten all day. 210 00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:17,006 Another fit? 211 00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,010 Ma, are you all right? 212 00:13:23,095 --> 00:13:24,221 Ma, Ma, Ma... 213 00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:27,099 It's me... Calm down. 214 00:13:32,688 --> 00:13:33,564 Quick! The exorcism mirror! 215 00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:34,647 Coming right up! 216 00:13:35,107 --> 00:13:36,501 10,000 gods send down thunderbolts... 217 00:13:36,525 --> 00:13:38,569 ...to reveal the hidden demons! 218 00:13:39,737 --> 00:13:41,071 Show yourself! 219 00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:47,661 All demons, be revealed! 220 00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:55,586 Nothing? 221 00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:59,840 But the whole room smells foul. 222 00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:02,468 If it's not her body, then... 223 00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:05,179 ...maybe she has second sight. 224 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,848 She sees the demons in others. 225 00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:09,767 That's why she's so scared. 226 00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,853 Could it be those two? 227 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,275 I've put up with them for too long. 228 00:14:18,359 --> 00:14:20,402 All demons, be revealed! 229 00:14:23,822 --> 00:14:26,575 Too bright! I can't see anything! 230 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,410 What? Not them either. 231 00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:31,914 Could it be... 232 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,342 A hairy crab! 233 00:14:56,814 --> 00:14:58,982 You bad monkey! 234 00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:03,320 You bad monkey! 235 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:09,410 Bad monkey! 236 00:15:14,081 --> 00:15:15,082 Look at that. 237 00:15:15,249 --> 00:15:17,543 Master's whip is really strong today. 238 00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:21,004 That whip has kept Monkey under control for 500 years. 239 00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,714 It needs to be strong. 240 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:39,665 You knew those two were shape-shifters. 241 00:15:39,857 --> 00:15:41,400 Why didn't you stop them? 242 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,110 You asked me to perform. 243 00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:44,278 Sol did. 244 00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,696 And what did you perform? 245 00:15:45,863 --> 00:15:47,048 I asked for a couple of somersaults. 246 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,699 And you destroyed a family! 247 00:15:49,241 --> 00:15:51,243 Then you shouldn't have called me "Bad monkey". 248 00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:54,788 You know that makes me go berserk 249 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,624 I didn't mean to call you that. 250 00:15:57,708 --> 00:15:59,126 Everyone knows I don't mean it. 251 00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,919 Such a small thing and you try to kill me? 252 00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,003 Such ruthless. 253 00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:04,214 Open your mouth! 254 00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:08,802 Wider! You want my life. 255 00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:15,434 Now I'm offering you my life. 256 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:17,811 Bite! You're a coward if you don't. 257 00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:21,148 Hey, something to see here! 258 00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:22,608 Bite! 259 00:16:22,691 --> 00:16:23,775 Do it. 260 00:16:28,614 --> 00:16:29,854 Why did you treat me like that? 261 00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,118 Speak! Say something! 262 00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:34,285 Why do you keep doing it? 263 00:16:34,328 --> 00:16:36,622 Cheating me! Provoking me! 264 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:40,292 Hurting me! Torturing me! Mistreating me! 265 00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:44,796 It seems our days of conquering demons... 266 00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:48,926 ...have come to an end. 267 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:53,514 Let's disband. 268 00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,140 "Disband"? 269 00:16:55,557 --> 00:16:58,644 Does "disband" mean he wants to kill us? 270 00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:00,729 Master! 271 00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:06,276 I understand why Master does these things. 272 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:08,904 But please drink this medicine first. 273 00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,365 From now on... I'll be obedient. 274 00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:16,578 What are you saying? I'm not punishing you. 275 00:17:18,789 --> 00:17:20,832 Master, you surely know... 276 00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:24,336 My brothers and I... We are all of one heart. 277 00:17:24,419 --> 00:17:27,214 If you punish Brother Monkey... Then my heart aches too. 278 00:17:27,297 --> 00:17:28,297 And my heart... 279 00:17:28,674 --> 00:17:31,093 ...is really aching. 280 00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,473 That's so true. 281 00:17:36,557 --> 00:17:37,266 When I hit you. 282 00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:38,350 My heart really aches. 283 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:39,993 Master, try it if you don't believe us. 284 00:17:42,521 --> 00:17:44,356 When I punish you... 285 00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:47,526 I suffer heartache too. 286 00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:50,242 If I'd set off to find the sutras on my own... 287 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,738 I'd have got there long ago. 288 00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:54,008 Having you with me doesn't help at all 289 00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:56,493 I can subdue one hundred foes... 290 00:17:56,577 --> 00:17:57,578 ...single-handed. 291 00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:58,741 Do I need to tell you this? 292 00:17:58,996 --> 00:18:02,165 I've mastered Buddha's Palm. 293 00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:03,750 Do I really need to tell you this? 294 00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:07,713 So it's not that you're helping me to find the sutras 295 00:18:07,838 --> 00:18:10,716 I'm helping you to make merit and learn Buddhism. 296 00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:12,884 Do I make myself crystal clear? 297 00:18:12,968 --> 00:18:14,344 Do you get it? 298 00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:15,971 Yes, we do. 299 00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,394 That's enough for now. 300 00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:24,896 Go to bed, we've got much to do tomorrow. 301 00:18:35,741 --> 00:18:37,409 "Sinful monkey!" 302 00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:40,454 "I'll show you my Buddha's Palm!" 303 00:19:19,117 --> 00:19:20,117 Did you miss me? 304 00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:24,331 He's even teasing Brother Monkey. 305 00:19:24,414 --> 00:19:26,174 Master's mind has reached such a high level. 306 00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:29,211 That's not Brother Monkey he's embracing. 307 00:19:29,503 --> 00:19:31,296 It's someone else. 308 00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:45,644 Amitabha, Amitabha. 309 00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:47,813 Master, you seemed happy last night. 310 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,565 We were happy to see you happy. 311 00:19:50,941 --> 00:19:52,943 But we won't tell on you. 312 00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:55,570 What are you on about? 313 00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:56,947 No water left. 314 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,699 Second Brother, fetch some water. 315 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:01,243 Why do I have to do it? 316 00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:02,327 How did you come up... 317 00:20:02,411 --> 00:20:03,537 ...up with that idea? 318 00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,622 Stop quarreling, I'll go. 319 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,512 Alms giver, excuse me... 320 00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:21,513 I was just passing. 321 00:20:21,596 --> 00:20:23,598 May I trouble you for water to boil rice? 322 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,935 There's no need for that. 323 00:20:27,185 --> 00:20:29,062 You're welcome to eat here 324 00:20:29,146 --> 00:20:30,856 I'm vegetarian. 325 00:20:30,981 --> 00:20:32,691 What luck! 326 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,694 We're having vegetarian food. 327 00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:37,797 We're devout too, we share the same path. 328 00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:39,656 It's natural for us to share our meal. 329 00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:42,367 And you can stay after eating. 330 00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:45,454 We'll be able to compare notes. 331 00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:49,666 He's ill, won't he taste bad? 332 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,961 Never mind, we can heal him first. 333 00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:55,088 It would be impolite to refuse. 334 00:20:56,173 --> 00:20:58,300 No need to cook come and eat here. 335 00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:00,135 What about my congee? 336 00:21:00,218 --> 00:21:02,012 I prepared it this morning. 337 00:21:03,722 --> 00:21:05,390 Your congee will be burnt. 338 00:21:05,474 --> 00:21:07,225 Go back and watch the fire. 339 00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:33,794 Alms giver, your medicine works a treat 340 00:21:33,877 --> 00:21:35,921 I feel better already. 341 00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,381 These three are my delinquent disciples. 342 00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:01,488 Nice to meet you. 343 00:22:02,239 --> 00:22:04,199 Nice to meet you. 344 00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:06,283 Nice to meet you. 345 00:22:07,118 --> 00:22:08,703 Nice to meet you. 346 00:22:11,790 --> 00:22:13,208 Don't flirt. 347 00:22:15,293 --> 00:22:17,379 Nice to meet you. 348 00:22:17,462 --> 00:22:19,589 To hell with that, what's nice about it? 349 00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:21,883 Sandy, what are you saying? 350 00:22:22,259 --> 00:22:23,677 I was cooking congee. 351 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,303 What are you up to? 352 00:22:25,387 --> 00:22:26,513 "Nice, nice, nice..." 353 00:22:26,596 --> 00:22:28,348 What do you all think you're doing? 354 00:22:28,723 --> 00:22:31,017 I'm sorry, my disciple is a touch simple-minded. 355 00:22:31,142 --> 00:22:32,435 It doesn't matter. 356 00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:34,020 May I just ask you... 357 00:22:34,104 --> 00:22:36,106 Are there any demons here? 358 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:38,525 Master, please don't scare me. 359 00:22:38,608 --> 00:22:39,943 Why would there be demons here? 360 00:22:40,694 --> 00:22:41,736 You're going too far. 361 00:22:42,946 --> 00:22:45,073 Why ask such a question? 362 00:22:46,283 --> 00:22:47,659 Actually... 363 00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:49,703 We conquer demons. 364 00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:52,539 I did wonder... Really? 365 00:22:52,622 --> 00:22:54,374 You've been so hospitable... 366 00:22:54,457 --> 00:22:55,876 But we have nothing to repay it. 367 00:22:55,959 --> 00:22:58,211 All I can offer is a one-off exorcism. 368 00:22:58,295 --> 00:23:01,673 Really? You're terribly kind... 369 00:23:02,299 --> 00:23:03,884 But, sad to say... 370 00:23:03,967 --> 00:23:05,886 There are no demons here. 371 00:23:08,471 --> 00:23:10,140 See my face? 372 00:23:10,724 --> 00:23:11,724 Hit me. 373 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:14,436 Come on, quick! 374 00:23:14,519 --> 00:23:17,188 If you don't, I'll beat you to death. 375 00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:19,357 Really? 376 00:23:19,441 --> 00:23:20,984 Why? 377 00:23:26,948 --> 00:23:28,575 I told you to hit me, scum 378 00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,577 I'll ask you again. 379 00:23:30,744 --> 00:23:34,372 Hit me, you asshole! 380 00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:39,210 Have you lost it again? 381 00:23:39,294 --> 00:23:40,712 I'm not an asshole. 382 00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:42,964 You definitely are. 383 00:23:43,173 --> 00:23:45,050 But I was calling her an asshole, not you. 384 00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:46,551 Damn you! 385 00:23:46,843 --> 00:23:48,470 You assholes take me as your Master? 386 00:23:48,553 --> 00:23:49,553 Clear out of here. 387 00:23:49,971 --> 00:23:51,431 Clear out of here. 388 00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:53,015 Sorry about that. 389 00:23:54,017 --> 00:23:55,477 Get out, all of you. 390 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,354 She kindly invited us to eat. 391 00:23:57,896 --> 00:24:00,774 You bang her table and ask her to hit you. 392 00:24:00,857 --> 00:24:02,067 And call her an asshole. 393 00:24:02,150 --> 00:24:03,902 Go and face the wall. 394 00:24:03,985 --> 00:24:04,778 Contemplate what you've done. 395 00:24:04,861 --> 00:24:07,489 What have you ever contributed to society? 396 00:24:07,572 --> 00:24:10,367 Don't come back until you figure it out. 397 00:24:21,086 --> 00:24:22,671 Come back! 398 00:24:23,088 --> 00:24:24,607 Master, we haven't figured it out yet. 399 00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:25,882 Don't give it any more thought. 400 00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:27,132 Come back! 401 00:24:27,509 --> 00:24:29,761 Still contemplating it. 402 00:24:29,844 --> 00:24:31,513 She's caught me! 403 00:25:04,212 --> 00:25:05,338 Rake. 404 00:25:09,718 --> 00:25:10,719 Up, up! 405 00:25:10,802 --> 00:25:11,803 Up, up! 406 00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:13,763 Quick, up! 407 00:25:17,726 --> 00:25:20,687 You can stop now. 408 00:25:46,921 --> 00:25:49,215 Master, time to show your hand. 409 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,135 You're so kind. 410 00:26:12,155 --> 00:26:13,155 Beauty! 411 00:26:13,615 --> 00:26:15,617 Such long legs... 412 00:26:15,700 --> 00:26:17,118 - What're you doing? - I like them 413 00:26:23,917 --> 00:26:25,335 I'm a spider! 414 00:26:25,418 --> 00:26:27,337 You must be kidding! 415 00:26:29,005 --> 00:26:30,215 I'm just a pig. 416 00:26:30,799 --> 00:26:31,799 I wasn't kidding. 417 00:26:38,932 --> 00:26:41,142 Your resistance makes me stronger. 418 00:26:46,356 --> 00:26:48,316 Don't go, I am talking to you! 419 00:27:57,427 --> 00:27:58,678 What's that noise? 420 00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:00,680 Don't worry, it's Sandy 421 00:28:01,306 --> 00:28:03,308 Sandy, are you all right? 422 00:28:04,642 --> 00:28:06,895 A bit poisoned, a bit dazed. 423 00:28:12,567 --> 00:28:15,737 Seems like time for me to step in now. 424 00:28:15,820 --> 00:28:18,448 Conquering demons takes sincerity. 425 00:28:18,531 --> 00:28:20,158 Lead them to benevolence. 426 00:28:20,241 --> 00:28:22,243 No violence necessary. 427 00:28:24,913 --> 00:28:29,959 "Without a knife, a butcher can be a Buddha." 428 00:29:04,702 --> 00:29:06,120 Stop! 429 00:29:06,704 --> 00:29:08,039 Monkey... 430 00:29:08,498 --> 00:29:09,874 You are too rude. 431 00:29:09,958 --> 00:29:11,518 Only a coolie needs to use such strength. 432 00:29:11,542 --> 00:29:12,542 Go away. 433 00:29:12,752 --> 00:29:13,795 Let me handle this. 434 00:29:20,885 --> 00:29:22,762 Brother Monkey, be more gentle 435 00:29:22,887 --> 00:29:24,597 I've only just got started with her. 436 00:29:24,681 --> 00:29:26,724 She has such long legs. 437 00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:27,892 A rare species though. 438 00:29:27,976 --> 00:29:28,976 Quiet. 439 00:29:31,813 --> 00:29:33,273 Let go. 440 00:30:01,467 --> 00:30:03,720 All done, Master. 441 00:30:05,888 --> 00:30:07,140 What? 442 00:30:07,682 --> 00:30:09,684 You finished her before I had a chance. 443 00:30:09,767 --> 00:30:11,060 What were you thinking? 444 00:30:11,477 --> 00:30:14,147 What, don't you know you were in great danger? 445 00:30:14,439 --> 00:30:16,566 She coulda swallowed you whole. 446 00:30:16,649 --> 00:30:18,234 You're lucky I strike fast 447 00:30:18,318 --> 00:30:19,336 I took her out with one blow. 448 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,487 How many times have I told you? 449 00:30:21,571 --> 00:30:23,197 To conquer a demon, educate it. 450 00:30:23,281 --> 00:30:25,366 Didn't you see the smile on her face just now? 451 00:30:26,367 --> 00:30:27,660 Smile? 452 00:30:27,744 --> 00:30:29,384 She smiled at the prospect of eating you. 453 00:30:29,537 --> 00:30:30,913 Outrageous! 454 00:30:30,997 --> 00:30:33,249 That smile was so sincere. 455 00:30:35,418 --> 00:30:36,961 My smile is even more sincere. 456 00:30:37,045 --> 00:30:38,296 Guess: do I love you? 457 00:30:38,379 --> 00:30:39,964 Or will I kill you? 458 00:30:47,513 --> 00:30:48,431 Who the hell are you? 459 00:30:48,514 --> 00:30:50,141 How can I help you? 460 00:31:05,323 --> 00:31:07,075 Did you see that? He's so handsome. 461 00:31:07,575 --> 00:31:09,660 You're almost better-looking than me. 462 00:31:09,827 --> 00:31:11,412 You know that? 463 00:31:12,246 --> 00:31:13,956 Of course, you can't stand it? 464 00:31:14,082 --> 00:31:14,749 Can you? 465 00:31:14,832 --> 00:31:16,834 Of course not, how about you? 466 00:31:16,918 --> 00:31:19,754 What's Baldy doing up there? 467 00:31:19,837 --> 00:31:20,963 Thinking. 468 00:31:21,047 --> 00:31:22,090 About what? 469 00:31:22,173 --> 00:31:23,549 About Miss Duan. 470 00:31:31,557 --> 00:31:34,060 I don't care who he's thinking about. 471 00:31:35,186 --> 00:31:37,980 I can overlook this baldy's propensity for violence. 472 00:31:38,064 --> 00:31:39,649 But he's started going too far. 473 00:31:39,774 --> 00:31:42,819 Lying beside me, swaying and fondling... 474 00:31:42,902 --> 00:31:45,488 Asking if I miss him... 475 00:31:45,571 --> 00:31:47,949 Just thinking of it gives me goosebumps. 476 00:31:48,032 --> 00:31:49,826 Well, that needs to stop. 477 00:31:49,909 --> 00:31:51,411 Why not just kill him? 478 00:31:53,079 --> 00:31:54,247 Forget it. 479 00:31:55,081 --> 00:31:58,167 You always dance to Baldy's tune. 480 00:31:58,626 --> 00:31:59,752 You can do nothing 481 00:31:59,836 --> 00:32:01,379 I'll pull out his tongue... 482 00:32:01,462 --> 00:32:02,380 ...and tie it in a knot! 483 00:32:02,463 --> 00:32:04,674 What kind of tune would he sing then? 484 00:32:05,299 --> 00:32:08,094 He still knows the Buddha's Palm technique 485 00:32:08,386 --> 00:32:09,387 I'm not scared. 486 00:32:09,470 --> 00:32:11,472 If I break his arm... 487 00:32:11,556 --> 00:32:13,307 ...how can use Buddha's sodding Palm? 488 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,400 Master, how long have you been standing there? 489 00:32:23,860 --> 00:32:25,111 Just now 490 00:32:25,194 --> 00:32:26,696 I came to see how you're doing. 491 00:32:26,779 --> 00:32:28,656 Don't worry, I heard nothing. 492 00:32:31,075 --> 00:32:32,201 Master... 493 00:32:32,785 --> 00:32:34,078 How come you lost your voice? 494 00:32:34,162 --> 00:32:35,955 I haven't. 495 00:32:36,038 --> 00:32:37,038 Out here in the wild... 496 00:32:37,748 --> 00:32:40,877 ...we shouldn't disturb others by being loud. 497 00:32:41,669 --> 00:32:42,503 Really? 498 00:32:42,587 --> 00:32:43,754 For sure. 499 00:32:43,838 --> 00:32:46,674 Have I ever... lied to you? 500 00:32:47,967 --> 00:32:50,470 All right, you all relax, I'll just relieve myself 501 00:33:08,321 --> 00:33:09,780 Buddha, Buddha. 502 00:33:09,864 --> 00:33:11,991 My three disciples are unruly 503 00:33:12,074 --> 00:33:13,701 I have failed to teach them well 504 00:33:14,076 --> 00:33:15,745 I know 300 songs for children. 505 00:33:15,828 --> 00:33:16,996 But nothing else 506 00:33:17,079 --> 00:33:19,916 I've been pretending to be capable. 507 00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:22,335 How can I go on like this? 508 00:33:22,418 --> 00:33:24,587 Now they are plotting to kill me. 509 00:33:24,670 --> 00:33:26,923 And I've lost my singing voice. 510 00:33:27,089 --> 00:33:28,966 Be merciful, Buddha. 511 00:33:29,133 --> 00:33:32,178 Teach me your holy Buddha's Palm. 512 00:33:32,261 --> 00:33:34,805 Your follower will be forever grateful. 513 00:33:38,601 --> 00:33:41,646 I beg you, please 514 00:33:44,232 --> 00:33:46,400 Buddha, do your hear me? 515 00:33:46,817 --> 00:33:49,362 Give me a sign please. 516 00:33:49,737 --> 00:33:51,989 Even a little fart would do... 517 00:34:00,790 --> 00:34:04,001 Pigsy, how long have you been there? 518 00:34:04,085 --> 00:34:06,796 Not long, I didn't see what you were doing. 519 00:34:06,879 --> 00:34:08,631 Don't worry, I didn't hear anything either 520 00:34:12,009 --> 00:34:13,636 I've been good to you. 521 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,805 You know what you should do. 522 00:34:16,973 --> 00:34:18,432 What should I do? 523 00:34:18,516 --> 00:34:20,393 All I can do is be myself. 524 00:34:20,851 --> 00:34:22,728 What I was getting at is... 525 00:34:22,812 --> 00:34:25,815 "Silence is golden." 526 00:34:26,148 --> 00:34:28,901 Master, all I did was break wind. 527 00:34:28,985 --> 00:34:30,820 But all your threats and pressures... 528 00:34:30,903 --> 00:34:33,447 ...weigh on me heavily. 529 00:34:34,615 --> 00:34:36,409 So that's your game. 530 00:34:36,909 --> 00:34:38,578 You should watch out 531 00:34:38,661 --> 00:34:40,079 I know where your family is. 532 00:34:40,162 --> 00:34:41,289 Understood. 533 00:34:52,717 --> 00:34:54,135 Monkey, what are you doing? 534 00:34:57,972 --> 00:34:59,849 You're the one who needs to watch out 535 00:35:00,433 --> 00:35:01,642 I'd like to experience... 536 00:35:01,726 --> 00:35:03,936 ...my Master's holy Buddha's Palm. 537 00:35:04,478 --> 00:35:06,647 What are you talking about? 538 00:35:07,481 --> 00:35:08,774 You didn't get it? 539 00:35:09,233 --> 00:35:12,486 I want to compare strength with you. 540 00:35:17,366 --> 00:35:18,826 You run? 541 00:35:35,468 --> 00:35:36,677 "My boy, my boy." 542 00:35:36,927 --> 00:35:40,306 "Why are you so naughty?" 543 00:35:40,556 --> 00:35:41,974 "Bullying, cheating..." 544 00:35:42,058 --> 00:35:44,101 "Why behave that way?" 545 00:35:45,645 --> 00:35:47,229 "Learn to behave better." 546 00:35:47,396 --> 00:35:49,106 "Closeness, love." 547 00:35:50,107 --> 00:35:51,192 "Be tender in your heart." 548 00:35:51,275 --> 00:35:53,527 Damn Baldy, enough with the singing. 549 00:35:53,611 --> 00:35:55,112 Fight me! 550 00:35:55,946 --> 00:35:58,449 "Good child..." 551 00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:24,642 Where can you run to? 552 00:36:24,975 --> 00:36:27,353 All right. 553 00:36:27,853 --> 00:36:30,523 If that's what you really want, I'll indulge you. 554 00:36:31,565 --> 00:36:33,818 So it's clobbering time. 555 00:36:33,943 --> 00:36:35,528 Wait, give me a moment. 556 00:36:55,047 --> 00:36:56,882 I was just toying with you, Master. 557 00:36:56,966 --> 00:37:00,052 Just working up a sweat. 558 00:37:04,223 --> 00:37:05,474 You scared me to death. 559 00:37:24,285 --> 00:37:25,786 What on earth are you up to now? 560 00:37:25,953 --> 00:37:27,163 None of your business. 561 00:37:27,246 --> 00:37:29,498 You're so handsome, you've gone bald... 562 00:37:29,582 --> 00:37:30,666 Do you mean that? 563 00:37:31,917 --> 00:37:33,461 I'd be a pig if I lied. 564 00:37:38,466 --> 00:37:39,300 How did it go? 565 00:37:39,383 --> 00:37:41,218 Did you tear Baldy to shreds? 566 00:37:41,302 --> 00:37:43,179 Was his blood running everywhere? 567 00:37:45,681 --> 00:37:48,100 Wait, have you really killed him? 568 00:37:49,268 --> 00:37:51,020 You tricked me. 569 00:38:10,539 --> 00:38:14,335 Pigsy, have you learnt what "Silence is golden" means? 570 00:38:14,418 --> 00:38:16,587 I just did. 571 00:38:26,430 --> 00:38:29,266 Now you're poisoned, I have to pull you. 572 00:38:44,156 --> 00:38:45,699 Will you please stop dousing me? 573 00:38:45,866 --> 00:38:48,536 I caught a cold, my nose is runny. 574 00:38:51,789 --> 00:38:54,875 Caught a cold? Bullshit! You'd better die now. 575 00:38:55,125 --> 00:38:56,285 Less trouble for me that way. 576 00:38:58,128 --> 00:38:59,128 Monkey... 577 00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:02,424 When do you think Sandy will turn back into a man? 578 00:39:03,801 --> 00:39:06,512 No idea, I have never paid attention to that. 579 00:39:06,595 --> 00:39:07,739 Master, you really want to know? 580 00:39:07,763 --> 00:39:08,556 Maybe... 581 00:39:08,639 --> 00:39:09,890 ...not. 582 00:39:10,015 --> 00:39:13,477 "Bi-Qiu Kingdom." 583 00:40:01,609 --> 00:40:04,028 The Minister is here. 584 00:40:05,112 --> 00:40:07,531 Hail, your eminence. 585 00:40:22,254 --> 00:40:25,549 Master Tang is an eminent monk indeed. 586 00:40:25,633 --> 00:40:27,259 His bearing is graceful. 587 00:40:28,218 --> 00:40:32,014 My admiration is heartfelt. 588 00:40:46,862 --> 00:40:47,982 It's a pleasure to meet you. 589 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,199 May I ask how your eminence knew I was coming? 590 00:40:50,282 --> 00:40:52,242 I am flattered... 591 00:40:53,410 --> 00:40:55,329 Most flattered. 592 00:40:55,412 --> 00:40:57,706 Master Tang's reputation precedes him. 593 00:40:57,790 --> 00:41:00,084 And your three brilliant companions... 594 00:41:00,626 --> 00:41:02,211 ...are also awe-inspiring 595 00:41:02,294 --> 00:41:04,004 I learned that the four of you... 596 00:41:04,296 --> 00:41:05,881 ...would pass by here. 597 00:41:05,965 --> 00:41:09,259 The king sent me to greet you here. 598 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:11,887 Let's go to the palace. 599 00:41:15,432 --> 00:41:17,059 We can chat there. 600 00:41:22,314 --> 00:41:23,774 Neat trick. 601 00:41:25,651 --> 00:41:28,028 It's just a trifle. 602 00:41:32,992 --> 00:41:34,201 Don't play any more tricks. 603 00:41:34,284 --> 00:41:36,829 It wasn't me, I didn't do anything. 604 00:41:36,912 --> 00:41:38,122 What did I do? 605 00:41:45,754 --> 00:41:47,172 Bloom. 606 00:41:47,256 --> 00:41:48,590 Hey presto. 607 00:41:51,885 --> 00:41:52,636 Your eminence... 608 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:55,014 There's something which puzzles me for a while. 609 00:41:55,806 --> 00:41:57,057 Are your magic tricks... 610 00:41:57,307 --> 00:41:59,226 ...intended to seem fake? 611 00:42:00,728 --> 00:42:03,397 Master, we both know that in this world... 612 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,774 ...magic tricks are illusions. 613 00:42:05,858 --> 00:42:09,778 Why care whether they seem real or fake? 614 00:42:09,862 --> 00:42:11,196 Let's go. 615 00:42:16,785 --> 00:42:19,329 Cultivating oneself is different from playing tricks. 616 00:42:19,413 --> 00:42:20,914 The crucial thing... 617 00:42:21,290 --> 00:42:22,374 ...is what's in the heart. 618 00:42:23,167 --> 00:42:24,167 Master... 619 00:42:25,711 --> 00:42:27,546 You are bottling something up. 620 00:42:28,213 --> 00:42:29,923 What's on your mind? 621 00:42:30,591 --> 00:42:34,720 There's someone in your heart, you yearn for her. 622 00:42:34,803 --> 00:42:37,139 You can't forget her 623 00:42:38,557 --> 00:42:40,309 I'm afraid you're wrong, there's not. 624 00:42:40,392 --> 00:42:41,560 Learning humanity... 625 00:42:41,643 --> 00:42:43,187 ...is like having religious faith. 626 00:42:43,270 --> 00:42:48,442 Following your heart will keep you young. 627 00:42:49,276 --> 00:42:52,446 A person who can't be honest with himself... 628 00:42:52,529 --> 00:42:54,573 ...is hypocritical. 629 00:42:54,656 --> 00:42:57,951 That's why I cultivate myself... 630 00:42:58,160 --> 00:42:59,995 ...according to my heart's desires. 631 00:43:01,705 --> 00:43:04,833 So what 'cultivation' means to you is... 632 00:43:05,250 --> 00:43:07,753 Doing what I damn well like. 633 00:43:19,723 --> 00:43:21,225 What are they kneeling for? 634 00:43:21,308 --> 00:43:24,686 It's a game, losers have to kneel. 635 00:43:24,770 --> 00:43:27,606 The king has lately taken rejuvenation pills. 636 00:43:27,689 --> 00:43:29,316 Now he behaves like a child. 637 00:43:29,983 --> 00:43:33,403 It's as if he took my counsel about following his heart. 638 00:43:34,863 --> 00:43:37,574 The king is easily coaxed. 639 00:43:37,741 --> 00:43:40,119 Simply fawn on him and you'll be well rewarded 640 00:43:41,578 --> 00:43:44,581 I'll expect my cut, of course. 641 00:43:44,665 --> 00:43:47,000 Let's split it by 50/50, ok? 642 00:43:48,710 --> 00:43:49,336 That's... 643 00:43:49,419 --> 00:43:51,713 I'm just joking, you didn't think I was serious? 644 00:43:54,216 --> 00:43:56,301 Look, our beauties are greeting you. 645 00:43:57,469 --> 00:44:00,806 Impressive, I like it. 646 00:44:07,771 --> 00:44:08,772 Your Majesty... 647 00:44:08,981 --> 00:44:10,440 Honorable guests are here 648 00:44:10,524 --> 00:44:11,525 I am Tang 649 00:44:11,608 --> 00:44:12,669 I am crossing your great country. 650 00:44:12,693 --> 00:44:15,070 My three disciples and I are here to pay our respects. 651 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,573 Hug, hug. 652 00:44:22,369 --> 00:44:23,537 Splendid. 653 00:44:25,414 --> 00:44:27,166 Look, this king is sillier than our Master. 654 00:44:27,249 --> 00:44:28,375 No way. 655 00:44:28,709 --> 00:44:31,211 No-one is sillier than our Master. 656 00:44:36,216 --> 00:44:37,676 Hug, hug. 657 00:44:37,885 --> 00:44:41,054 Please respond in kind to the king's high protocol. 658 00:44:42,764 --> 00:44:45,392 Too late, he's too stuck-up. 659 00:44:46,768 --> 00:44:48,187 Here. 660 00:44:55,652 --> 00:44:57,196 I hear that you conquer demons. 661 00:44:57,279 --> 00:44:59,156 It's true. 662 00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,867 Don't believe it, show me some tricks. 663 00:45:03,994 --> 00:45:05,454 I think Your Majesty is confused. 664 00:45:05,537 --> 00:45:07,664 Conquering demons is not an acrobatic trick. 665 00:45:07,831 --> 00:45:11,001 You will do as I order. 666 00:45:11,084 --> 00:45:13,128 You will speak... as I order. 667 00:45:13,212 --> 00:45:14,504 If you don't obey. 668 00:45:14,588 --> 00:45:16,465 You insult my dignity. 669 00:45:16,715 --> 00:45:18,155 Now I'll have your head chopped off. 670 00:45:18,217 --> 00:45:19,718 And hand it on the door. 671 00:45:20,510 --> 00:45:22,721 Great, this king has brilliant ideas. 672 00:45:22,804 --> 00:45:23,847 My kind of king. 673 00:45:23,931 --> 00:45:24,931 Men. 674 00:45:25,015 --> 00:45:26,015 Off with his head! 675 00:45:27,226 --> 00:45:29,019 Don't worry... 676 00:45:31,271 --> 00:45:32,439 Really, Minister? 677 00:45:32,522 --> 00:45:33,690 It's a joke 678 00:45:33,774 --> 00:45:35,275 I see... 679 00:45:35,359 --> 00:45:37,277 It doesn't seem so. 680 00:45:37,444 --> 00:45:38,570 Doesn't seem what? 681 00:45:41,240 --> 00:45:42,032 Your Majesty. 682 00:45:42,115 --> 00:45:44,201 We can perform a bit for you. 683 00:45:44,493 --> 00:45:47,371 Monkey, show His Majesty a few tricks. 684 00:45:48,372 --> 00:45:50,791 You ask a nobody to entertain me? 685 00:45:50,874 --> 00:45:52,584 That's a deliberate insult! 686 00:45:52,668 --> 00:45:53,794 Death penalty! 687 00:45:54,002 --> 00:45:56,129 Your Majesty, I must show you my tricks. 688 00:45:56,213 --> 00:45:58,048 Don't try to talk me out of it, I'll do it. 689 00:45:58,340 --> 00:46:01,009 Just give me a moment and I'll be with you. 690 00:46:02,177 --> 00:46:03,971 Get a move on. 691 00:46:04,179 --> 00:46:06,807 Master, are you really going to perform? 692 00:46:07,182 --> 00:46:09,393 Do I have any choice? 693 00:46:17,985 --> 00:46:19,278 He can't get through. 694 00:46:20,737 --> 00:46:21,488 What should we do? 695 00:46:21,571 --> 00:46:24,491 No big deal, just show them your Buddha's Palm. 696 00:46:24,574 --> 00:46:26,660 It's not a parlor trick. 697 00:46:27,411 --> 00:46:28,651 How about I take Master's form? 698 00:46:28,704 --> 00:46:30,184 I can perform something for the king. 699 00:46:30,580 --> 00:46:33,500 You just want to have your way with the maids. 700 00:46:33,583 --> 00:46:35,002 Go now if you have the guts. 701 00:46:38,755 --> 00:46:40,048 Stone, paper, scissors. 702 00:46:40,132 --> 00:46:41,383 Stone, paper, scissors. 703 00:46:43,051 --> 00:46:44,720 I know what... 704 00:46:44,886 --> 00:46:46,086 Use the talisman of obedience. 705 00:46:46,555 --> 00:46:48,557 That again? That's an old idea. 706 00:46:48,724 --> 00:46:50,684 New ideas are thin on the ground, boss. 707 00:46:50,767 --> 00:46:52,769 It will have to do. 708 00:46:52,853 --> 00:46:54,146 Stick it on him... 709 00:46:54,229 --> 00:46:55,939 And he'll do whatever I do. 710 00:46:56,023 --> 00:46:58,233 Identical movements. 711 00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:45,405 Damn it, chop him up 712 00:47:47,157 --> 00:47:49,076 I'd be doomed if you do striptease again 713 00:47:49,159 --> 00:47:50,202 I'm not going to do this. 714 00:47:50,285 --> 00:47:51,285 You don't trust me. 715 00:47:52,037 --> 00:47:53,037 I don't 716 00:47:54,373 --> 00:47:57,042 I'm sincerely trying to help. 717 00:47:58,126 --> 00:47:59,419 And you really don't trust me? 718 00:48:01,630 --> 00:48:02,798 I don't. 719 00:48:03,131 --> 00:48:05,675 If you find that something goes wrong you can always stop me. 720 00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:07,760 You won't cheat me? 721 00:48:08,261 --> 00:48:09,805 I look like a cheat? 722 00:48:11,056 --> 00:48:12,265 Have I ever cheated you? 723 00:48:12,349 --> 00:48:13,767 More times than I can remember. 724 00:48:13,850 --> 00:48:15,060 You're right. 725 00:48:15,769 --> 00:48:16,853 You're an asshole. 726 00:48:31,952 --> 00:48:32,952 Good. 727 00:48:45,090 --> 00:48:46,383 Stop it. 728 00:48:52,013 --> 00:48:53,181 Where is he? 729 00:48:53,598 --> 00:48:55,892 You want to make me lose face again? 730 00:48:55,976 --> 00:48:56,976 Move. 731 00:49:04,484 --> 00:49:05,652 Out of the way... 732 00:49:15,620 --> 00:49:16,413 Poor Master 733 00:49:16,496 --> 00:49:17,914 I specialize in striptease. 734 00:49:17,998 --> 00:49:19,958 Master isn't as good as I am. 735 00:49:22,752 --> 00:49:23,879 Brother Monkey. 736 00:49:24,379 --> 00:49:25,505 Where did he go? 737 00:49:30,218 --> 00:49:31,218 Stop. 738 00:49:31,720 --> 00:49:32,846 Don't stop. 739 00:49:34,264 --> 00:49:35,390 No stopping. 740 00:49:35,474 --> 00:49:37,160 If you shout 'Stop' again, I'll have your head. 741 00:49:37,184 --> 00:49:38,643 You are joking? 742 00:49:40,270 --> 00:49:41,646 He's not joking. 743 00:49:41,730 --> 00:49:44,065 If you shout 'Stop' again, you'll lose your head. 744 00:49:44,608 --> 00:49:45,817 Go on then. 745 00:49:58,622 --> 00:50:01,291 Great! Any more tricks up your sleeve? 746 00:50:05,670 --> 00:50:07,047 Go to hell. 747 00:50:07,130 --> 00:50:08,548 "Go to hell." 748 00:50:10,717 --> 00:50:11,593 Go to hell again! 749 00:50:11,676 --> 00:50:13,094 "Go to hell again!" 750 00:50:18,558 --> 00:50:20,644 He hit me. 751 00:50:21,561 --> 00:50:23,980 He hit me! 752 00:50:28,151 --> 00:50:29,444 Hurry! Quick! 753 00:50:29,528 --> 00:50:32,531 You must flee right away if the king cries. 754 00:50:44,543 --> 00:50:47,295 Master, I did my best to help you. 755 00:50:47,671 --> 00:50:49,214 But after what just happened... 756 00:50:49,297 --> 00:50:51,299 I'm afraid that... 757 00:50:54,094 --> 00:50:56,304 Your reputation cannot be repaired. 758 00:50:57,013 --> 00:50:58,390 Attendants. 759 00:50:59,266 --> 00:51:01,101 Here's some expenses money. 760 00:51:02,060 --> 00:51:04,145 Use it on your travels. 761 00:51:04,229 --> 00:51:06,815 Don't show up here again for 8 to 10 years. 762 00:51:06,898 --> 00:51:09,150 How can I accept, after all that...? 763 00:51:09,234 --> 00:51:11,611 Don't mention it, I know it's hard for you. 764 00:51:12,237 --> 00:51:13,780 Meetings are hard. 765 00:51:14,114 --> 00:51:16,032 But partings are harder. 766 00:51:16,116 --> 00:51:18,827 You and I may not meet again. 767 00:51:19,369 --> 00:51:20,453 Take care. 768 00:51:20,537 --> 00:51:21,705 Tang Tang. 769 00:51:26,251 --> 00:51:28,628 The Minister fancies you. 770 00:51:28,712 --> 00:51:30,630 You have a good chance with her. 771 00:51:30,714 --> 00:51:32,591 You always get so many dates, I envy you. 772 00:51:32,674 --> 00:51:35,677 You're really charming, so it's understandable. 773 00:51:37,554 --> 00:51:38,847 You bad monkey! 774 00:51:38,930 --> 00:51:40,640 How dare you say this to me? 775 00:51:40,807 --> 00:51:42,809 I feared it might go wrong. 776 00:51:42,892 --> 00:51:44,161 But I didn't expect to risk my life. 777 00:51:44,185 --> 00:51:46,438 Now kneel to me 778 00:51:46,688 --> 00:51:48,607 I'll beat you until you kneel. 779 00:51:49,107 --> 00:51:49,816 Kneel. 780 00:51:49,941 --> 00:51:50,942 Beat away. 781 00:51:51,192 --> 00:51:54,154 Did you ever think how it feels to demean yourself in front of people? 782 00:51:54,279 --> 00:51:56,990 Now you know what crazy dancing feels like. 783 00:51:57,073 --> 00:51:58,450 So you know how bad I feel. 784 00:51:58,533 --> 00:51:59,409 You always make me... 785 00:51:59,492 --> 00:52:01,453 ...kneel like a dog before you. 786 00:52:01,786 --> 00:52:03,538 You know how shaming that is? 787 00:52:03,913 --> 00:52:04,623 You're right 788 00:52:04,706 --> 00:52:05,957 I did manipulate you. 789 00:52:06,207 --> 00:52:07,767 So that you'd know how indignity feels. 790 00:52:11,546 --> 00:52:12,631 I see. 791 00:52:13,256 --> 00:52:15,133 Now that you've said all that... 792 00:52:15,383 --> 00:52:16,611 I'll finish you off with one slap. 793 00:52:16,635 --> 00:52:17,719 Go ahead! 794 00:52:18,136 --> 00:52:18,970 I'm ready for it 795 00:52:19,054 --> 00:52:21,014 I'd rather die than suffer this torture. 796 00:52:21,640 --> 00:52:23,224 All I wanted was to tell you... 797 00:52:23,475 --> 00:52:25,894 "Do unto others as you'd wish them..." 798 00:52:26,144 --> 00:52:27,646 "...to do unto you" 799 00:52:41,660 --> 00:52:43,995 I'm sorry, I'm at fault. 800 00:52:47,207 --> 00:52:49,584 Stop, don't try that on me. 801 00:52:51,711 --> 00:52:54,631 You're right, we should be considerate for each other 802 00:52:56,091 --> 00:52:57,926 I've punished you by making you dance. 803 00:52:58,426 --> 00:52:59,946 By taking away your dignity in public. 804 00:53:00,136 --> 00:53:03,765 Now I realize what a loss of dignity feels like. 805 00:53:03,848 --> 00:53:05,058 How miserable it is 806 00:53:06,267 --> 00:53:08,687 I've been wrong to call you 'bad Monkey' 807 00:53:08,770 --> 00:53:11,481 I've beaten and scolded you all day long 808 00:53:12,607 --> 00:53:14,651 I've been oblivious to your feelings. 809 00:53:18,988 --> 00:53:20,156 The problem here is me. 810 00:53:20,740 --> 00:53:21,740 Not you 811 00:53:22,283 --> 00:53:24,119 I'm the one who spreads unhappiness. 812 00:53:24,953 --> 00:53:26,746 Now I realize my mistakes. 813 00:53:27,122 --> 00:53:29,249 Please forgive me this once. 814 00:53:29,749 --> 00:53:32,085 Give me one more chance, forgive me. 815 00:53:34,295 --> 00:53:36,256 Master's conscience is awakened at last. 816 00:53:36,673 --> 00:53:40,385 Don't you see he's using "Advance by retreating"? 817 00:53:40,468 --> 00:53:42,470 To admit a mistake at the right time... 818 00:53:42,554 --> 00:53:44,180 ...can win people's hearts. 819 00:53:44,347 --> 00:53:47,016 You see, it worked so well on brother Monkey. 820 00:53:49,144 --> 00:53:50,687 Master often seems silly. 821 00:53:50,770 --> 00:53:52,939 But he knows how to manage risk. 822 00:53:55,108 --> 00:53:56,276 Master... 823 00:53:57,610 --> 00:53:59,446 I guess I overdid it. 824 00:54:01,030 --> 00:54:02,407 Please get up. 825 00:54:05,535 --> 00:54:07,078 I actually care a lot for you 826 00:54:07,162 --> 00:54:09,247 I just didn't know how to express it. 827 00:54:10,290 --> 00:54:12,417 Master, I know in my heart... 828 00:54:12,500 --> 00:54:14,002 ...how you feel about me. 829 00:54:14,085 --> 00:54:14,711 From now on, though... 830 00:54:14,794 --> 00:54:16,713 Don't ever make me do crazy dancing. 831 00:54:17,046 --> 00:54:18,286 But frankly speaking, Monkey... 832 00:54:18,381 --> 00:54:19,924 You're good at it. 833 00:54:20,842 --> 00:54:22,042 Don't even think that, Master. 834 00:54:22,093 --> 00:54:23,093 Never again. 835 00:54:23,136 --> 00:54:25,096 Please stop calling me 'Master' 836 00:54:25,180 --> 00:54:27,223 We're sworn brothers for life. 837 00:54:27,390 --> 00:54:30,143 So just call me 'Elder' from now on. 838 00:54:32,312 --> 00:54:33,438 Elder... 839 00:54:35,774 --> 00:54:36,775 Elder... 840 00:54:37,984 --> 00:54:39,319 See how well it works? 841 00:54:39,402 --> 00:54:42,489 They're all but kissing. 842 00:54:42,697 --> 00:54:44,240 Impressive, no? 843 00:54:45,533 --> 00:54:48,536 No entry to the palace, on pain of death. 844 00:54:49,788 --> 00:54:51,039 Pardon us. 845 00:54:51,122 --> 00:54:52,373 Master... 846 00:54:54,083 --> 00:54:55,083 Why are you back? 847 00:54:55,251 --> 00:54:55,919 Minister 848 00:54:56,002 --> 00:54:58,004 I've been thinking 849 00:54:58,087 --> 00:54:59,106 I need to restore my reputation 850 00:54:59,130 --> 00:55:00,799 I can't leave things as they were. 851 00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:04,302 Master, please get away while you still can. 852 00:55:04,385 --> 00:55:06,262 If you come back, there'll be carnage. 853 00:55:06,429 --> 00:55:09,057 Minister, I value my reputation. 854 00:55:09,140 --> 00:55:11,059 How can I be a good monk with a bad rep? 855 00:55:20,527 --> 00:55:22,111 How dare you return! 856 00:55:23,738 --> 00:55:25,114 Your Majesty, please calm down. 857 00:55:25,198 --> 00:55:27,367 Monk Tang has something to say. 858 00:55:27,450 --> 00:55:28,535 Your Majesty. 859 00:55:28,618 --> 00:55:30,429 What happened before had nothing to do with me. 860 00:55:30,453 --> 00:55:32,789 It was all caused by my errant disciple. 861 00:55:32,956 --> 00:55:35,083 So I've brought him to apologize to you. 862 00:55:35,166 --> 00:55:36,918 And while we're about it... 863 00:55:37,001 --> 00:55:38,545 We'll conquer a demon or two. 864 00:55:39,087 --> 00:55:40,129 Monkey... 865 00:55:52,183 --> 00:55:53,183 Hit me. 866 00:55:53,935 --> 00:55:54,936 Are you a pervert? 867 00:55:55,436 --> 00:55:56,104 Brilliant. 868 00:55:56,187 --> 00:55:59,440 A game is just the thing to appease the king. 869 00:55:59,524 --> 00:56:00,859 Master Monkey... 870 00:56:00,942 --> 00:56:02,861 Let me run through the rules of this game. 871 00:56:08,658 --> 00:56:09,742 Master... 872 00:56:09,826 --> 00:56:12,579 Don't you think you're doing a bit too much? 873 00:56:23,172 --> 00:56:24,465 You haven't eaten yet. 874 00:56:24,549 --> 00:56:25,758 Can't you do it harder? 875 00:56:25,842 --> 00:56:27,176 Is that it? 876 00:56:56,289 --> 00:56:57,457 Out of the way! 877 00:57:00,710 --> 00:57:01,961 Danger! 878 00:57:34,535 --> 00:57:35,912 Red Boy. 879 00:57:35,995 --> 00:57:37,288 Monkey. 880 00:57:37,372 --> 00:57:38,998 You show your true face at last. 881 00:57:39,540 --> 00:57:41,560 I saw from the start there's something odd about you. 882 00:57:41,584 --> 00:57:42,251 According to legend... 883 00:57:42,335 --> 00:57:44,420 You own the long Firecloud Spear. 884 00:57:44,504 --> 00:57:45,254 And move on... 885 00:57:45,421 --> 00:57:47,548 The flaming Golden Wheel! Well met! 886 00:57:49,217 --> 00:57:50,718 So you're the Monkey King... 887 00:57:51,010 --> 00:57:52,387 ...who has great strengths. 888 00:57:52,553 --> 00:57:53,553 Show your senior... 889 00:57:53,596 --> 00:57:54,847 ...the best you can do. 890 00:58:22,542 --> 00:58:23,542 Playing foul? 891 00:58:25,795 --> 00:58:27,130 You ain't seen nothin' yet. 892 00:58:38,933 --> 00:58:40,560 Master, over here. 893 00:59:34,322 --> 00:59:36,157 Three-tier Fire! 894 00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,159 Take that! 895 01:00:32,088 --> 01:00:33,005 The palace... 896 01:00:33,089 --> 01:00:35,758 It's in ruins. 897 01:00:37,552 --> 01:00:40,096 Ruins... 898 01:00:40,930 --> 01:00:42,140 Stupid monkey... 899 01:00:42,223 --> 01:00:43,223 Don't hide! 900 01:00:43,641 --> 01:00:45,226 Come out to face me. 901 01:02:19,403 --> 01:02:20,655 My turn! 902 01:02:32,583 --> 01:02:33,668 Help! 903 01:02:34,627 --> 01:02:35,962 Help! 904 01:02:36,671 --> 01:02:37,964 What happened? 905 01:02:38,047 --> 01:02:40,424 Was there an earthquake? 906 01:02:41,259 --> 01:02:42,259 Your Majesty... 907 01:02:44,470 --> 01:02:45,554 Wait. 908 01:02:47,515 --> 01:02:48,557 Let me do it. 909 01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:05,032 What a cute little monster 910 01:03:06,158 --> 01:03:08,411 I've subdued it, keep it as a souvenir 911 01:03:08,494 --> 01:03:10,705 I will chant sutras day and night. 912 01:03:10,955 --> 01:03:12,665 Until its evil nature is defeated 913 01:03:13,165 --> 01:03:14,667 I'll do my best. 914 01:03:17,628 --> 01:03:18,838 The king... 915 01:03:20,756 --> 01:03:22,174 Your Majesty! 916 01:03:28,264 --> 01:03:29,640 Thank you, your reverences. 917 01:03:29,724 --> 01:03:32,018 We have our real king back at last. 918 01:03:32,101 --> 01:03:34,353 We've prepared lavish gifts for you. 919 01:03:34,437 --> 01:03:35,604 See for yourselves. 920 01:03:48,951 --> 01:03:51,579 The palace's 3000 beauties. 921 01:03:51,662 --> 01:03:53,080 Choose which you like. 922 01:03:53,164 --> 01:03:53,748 All for me? 923 01:03:53,831 --> 01:03:56,709 Too few? You can have the throne too. 924 01:03:56,792 --> 01:03:58,294 Calm down, Your Majesty. 925 01:03:59,128 --> 01:04:00,838 His Majesty is offering... 926 01:04:01,088 --> 01:04:03,549 Ladies-in-waiting for your journey. 927 01:04:03,758 --> 01:04:04,633 So it is 928 01:04:04,717 --> 01:04:06,635 I'm grateful for his generosity, but I... 929 01:04:06,719 --> 01:04:08,599 You think we're the types to accept such a gift? 930 01:04:08,637 --> 01:04:10,473 Women make us seriously ill. 931 01:04:10,556 --> 01:04:11,474 Put me in change of them... 932 01:04:11,557 --> 01:04:13,267 And see how badly I treat them all. 933 01:04:14,143 --> 01:04:15,061 Come on, the fish is getting very dry. 934 01:04:15,144 --> 01:04:16,270 Put that to good use. 935 01:04:16,771 --> 01:04:18,230 Your saliva smells bad. 936 01:04:18,314 --> 01:04:19,315 Don't be picky. 937 01:04:19,398 --> 01:04:21,108 Better than nothing. 938 01:04:22,443 --> 01:04:24,320 It's good to have someone for help. 939 01:04:24,403 --> 01:04:25,821 - Please pick one or two - Yes. 940 01:04:26,155 --> 01:04:29,408 Don't fight with me, I'll handle them one by one. 941 01:04:29,825 --> 01:04:31,994 If Your Majesty insists on repaying us... 942 01:04:32,078 --> 01:04:33,278 Maybe I can suggest something? 943 01:04:33,621 --> 01:04:35,706 Could you free these ladies? 944 01:04:35,956 --> 01:04:36,874 Sure, no problem. 945 01:04:36,957 --> 01:04:39,460 Anyone who wants to leave can leave. 946 01:04:39,543 --> 01:04:42,588 No blame attached, you have my word. 947 01:04:43,089 --> 01:04:44,673 Your Majesty, so... 948 01:04:44,757 --> 01:04:45,549 I feel like crying. 949 01:04:45,633 --> 01:04:48,094 All those women in my harem are ugly-looking gluttons. 950 01:04:48,177 --> 01:04:49,178 They eat really a lot. 951 01:04:49,261 --> 01:04:52,932 They eat 7 meals a day, better send them away. 952 01:04:53,140 --> 01:04:54,392 You can go, you're free. 953 01:04:54,475 --> 01:04:55,559 Are you out of your mind? 954 01:04:55,643 --> 01:04:56,560 Being imperial concubines is just fine. 955 01:04:56,644 --> 01:04:57,728 Why would we want to leave? 956 01:04:57,812 --> 01:04:59,897 Damned bald monk, who do you think you are? 957 01:04:59,980 --> 01:05:01,620 If you stir thing up, we'll sort you out! 958 01:05:01,982 --> 01:05:03,192 You think we're vain? 959 01:05:03,567 --> 01:05:05,778 Damn you, we're here for love! 960 01:05:05,861 --> 01:05:07,780 Monk Tang, get out! Protect our love! 961 01:05:08,030 --> 01:05:10,241 Monk Tang, get out! Protect our love! 962 01:05:10,324 --> 01:05:12,743 Monk Tang, get out! Protect our love! 963 01:05:12,827 --> 01:05:14,662 Monk Tang, get out! Protect our love! 964 01:05:15,204 --> 01:05:17,832 See how they love you? 965 01:05:18,791 --> 01:05:20,668 I'll crush your balls 966 01:05:20,918 --> 01:05:22,278 - I'm sorry... - Sparing on effort! 967 01:05:22,628 --> 01:05:25,256 Calm down, you can all stay. 968 01:05:28,717 --> 01:05:31,053 I want to die. 969 01:05:37,476 --> 01:05:39,311 That one... 970 01:05:40,104 --> 01:05:41,188 You... You... 971 01:05:41,272 --> 01:05:42,148 - Me? - Yes! 972 01:05:42,231 --> 01:05:45,151 The one in black behind you. 973 01:05:45,234 --> 01:05:47,653 How come I've never seen you before? 974 01:05:47,736 --> 01:05:49,447 This lady is a newcomer. 975 01:05:49,530 --> 01:05:51,323 She's a songstress. 976 01:05:53,701 --> 01:05:55,578 What's your name? 977 01:05:56,996 --> 01:05:58,789 Felicity. 978 01:05:58,956 --> 01:06:00,416 Since you're a songstress... 979 01:06:00,583 --> 01:06:02,585 Give us a quick song. 980 01:06:02,668 --> 01:06:04,920 To send the Masters on their way. 981 01:06:06,172 --> 01:06:07,298 Yes, sire. 982 01:06:24,398 --> 01:06:26,066 Fatso, am I afraid of you? 983 01:06:48,756 --> 01:06:50,799 "Yesterday, today." 984 01:06:50,883 --> 01:06:54,678 "The past has slipped away." 985 01:06:57,097 --> 01:06:59,016 "Without make-up..." 986 01:06:59,099 --> 01:07:03,896 "...colors fade." 987 01:07:04,355 --> 01:07:08,192 "All through history..." 988 01:07:09,109 --> 01:07:12,655 "...love endures." 989 01:07:12,738 --> 01:07:16,116 "Your love awaits your return." 990 01:07:16,700 --> 01:07:20,120 "Wandering beyond the clouds." 991 01:07:22,164 --> 01:07:24,875 "Love-sickness..." 992 01:07:24,959 --> 01:07:27,795 "...begets sorrow." 993 01:07:29,838 --> 01:07:32,967 "In this world..." 994 01:07:33,050 --> 01:07:37,596 "...fate is immutable." 995 01:07:38,681 --> 01:07:41,100 "Let it go." 996 01:07:41,684 --> 01:07:46,522 "We cannot be together" 997 01:07:46,605 --> 01:07:53,362 "ls this truly our destiny?" 998 01:07:58,534 --> 01:08:01,662 Splendid! Her artistry is magnificent. 999 01:08:13,549 --> 01:08:14,549 Master... 1000 01:08:15,718 --> 01:08:16,718 What is it? 1001 01:08:17,469 --> 01:08:19,597 His Majesty asks if you'd like to have Felicity... 1002 01:08:19,680 --> 01:08:20,681 ...for your travels? 1003 01:08:20,764 --> 01:08:21,807 Out of the question! 1004 01:08:21,932 --> 01:08:24,018 I go to the west to find sutras and cultivate myself. 1005 01:08:24,393 --> 01:08:26,073 She couldn't make such an arduous journey. 1006 01:08:26,937 --> 01:08:29,148 I have burned incense and prayed to Buddha 1007 01:08:29,231 --> 01:08:30,608 I am a devout Buddhist. 1008 01:08:30,691 --> 01:08:33,110 We must brave the elements with little to eat. 1009 01:08:33,235 --> 01:08:35,654 A young woman couldn't endure it 1010 01:08:35,946 --> 01:08:37,197 I'm not afraid. 1011 01:08:37,531 --> 01:08:39,033 My family was poor 1012 01:08:39,116 --> 01:08:41,577 I've done household chores since I was young 1013 01:08:41,660 --> 01:08:43,787 I'm accustomed to hardship. 1014 01:08:43,871 --> 01:08:44,580 Wonderful! 1015 01:08:44,663 --> 01:08:46,290 What touching words. 1016 01:08:46,373 --> 01:08:47,958 This songstress... 1017 01:08:48,042 --> 01:08:50,919 She can sing, dance, cook and wash. 1018 01:08:51,170 --> 01:08:55,090 What a resource, at home and on travels. 1019 01:08:55,174 --> 01:08:55,924 Still... 1020 01:08:56,133 --> 01:08:58,427 Master, you really don't want her? 1021 01:08:59,386 --> 01:09:00,386 I don't. 1022 01:09:01,764 --> 01:09:03,182 You won't regret it? 1023 01:09:03,557 --> 01:09:04,557 No regrets. 1024 01:09:04,600 --> 01:09:08,020 Master, please take time to reflect 1025 01:09:08,103 --> 01:09:09,396 I'll ask you once again. 1026 01:09:09,480 --> 01:09:10,689 You don't want her? 1027 01:09:11,190 --> 01:09:11,732 I don't. 1028 01:09:11,815 --> 01:09:13,817 You must be kidding! Such a charming girl! 1029 01:09:13,901 --> 01:09:16,737 Why don't you want her? You're weird! 1030 01:09:17,196 --> 01:09:18,113 Minister... 1031 01:09:18,197 --> 01:09:20,240 Please arrange this 1032 01:09:20,324 --> 01:09:23,994 I want the girl sent to my chambers ASAP. 1033 01:09:26,372 --> 01:09:27,539 Your Majesty... 1034 01:09:33,796 --> 01:09:36,090 We'll take our leave now. 1035 01:09:41,762 --> 01:09:43,013 Attendants, see them out. 1036 01:09:43,097 --> 01:09:44,199 Help them with the fish too. 1037 01:09:44,223 --> 01:09:45,474 Come with me. 1038 01:10:28,475 --> 01:10:29,643 When you've suffered pain... 1039 01:10:30,352 --> 01:10:32,187 ...you know the pain of all sentient beings. 1040 01:10:33,731 --> 01:10:34,898 When you've insisted... 1041 01:10:35,399 --> 01:10:36,734 ...you know how to let go. 1042 01:10:38,819 --> 01:10:40,059 When you've cared for others... 1043 01:10:41,113 --> 01:10:42,823 ...you know how to move on. 1044 01:10:44,992 --> 01:10:46,832 That's what spiritual attainment is all about. 1045 01:10:48,620 --> 01:10:49,747 But me... 1046 01:10:51,123 --> 01:10:52,666 I'm just an ordinary man. 1047 01:10:56,879 --> 01:10:57,963 Your Majesty... 1048 01:10:58,046 --> 01:11:00,215 The Master is back again. 1049 01:11:04,136 --> 01:11:06,430 Master, you have broken your journey. 1050 01:11:06,513 --> 01:11:08,348 What trouble did you encounter? 1051 01:11:08,557 --> 01:11:10,184 I've been pondering 1052 01:11:10,267 --> 01:11:11,286 I don't think I should reject... 1053 01:11:11,310 --> 01:11:12,978 ...Your Majesty's great generosity. 1054 01:11:13,061 --> 01:11:16,064 Please allow Felicity to join me on my journey. 1055 01:11:17,524 --> 01:11:19,151 You can do that, right? 1056 01:11:21,612 --> 01:11:22,529 I can, but... 1057 01:11:22,613 --> 01:11:23,489 But what? 1058 01:11:23,572 --> 01:11:26,575 I had my way with Felicity. 1059 01:11:29,411 --> 01:11:31,747 Tell you what... Choose someone else. 1060 01:11:35,459 --> 01:11:36,668 Master... 1061 01:11:36,752 --> 01:11:39,087 I sympathize, but there's nothing I can do. 1062 01:11:41,465 --> 01:11:44,134 You mean... But I don't mind. 1063 01:11:45,594 --> 01:11:47,471 Your Majesty has favored Felicity. 1064 01:11:47,554 --> 01:11:48,865 That makes me all the more honored. 1065 01:11:48,889 --> 01:11:50,140 You don't mind? 1066 01:11:50,682 --> 01:11:51,892 Definitely not. 1067 01:11:51,975 --> 01:11:53,435 You don't mind... 1068 01:11:53,519 --> 01:11:55,479 But I mind. 1069 01:11:58,732 --> 01:12:00,692 The fact of the matter is... 1070 01:12:00,776 --> 01:12:02,778 Felicity resisted him last night. 1071 01:12:02,861 --> 01:12:04,488 She refuses to be a concubine. 1072 01:12:04,571 --> 01:12:07,324 She says she'd rather die than be forced into it. 1073 01:12:08,659 --> 01:12:09,660 Then... 1074 01:12:09,743 --> 01:12:10,953 Yes! 1075 01:12:11,036 --> 01:12:12,120 I lied to you. 1076 01:12:12,204 --> 01:12:13,831 So what? 1077 01:12:13,914 --> 01:12:16,834 Yesterday I asked you 8 times... 1078 01:12:16,917 --> 01:12:18,377 And you refused. 1079 01:12:18,460 --> 01:12:21,255 Now you come back and change your mind. 1080 01:12:21,338 --> 01:12:24,341 How reckless! 1081 01:12:24,883 --> 01:12:26,468 Don't get worked up. 1082 01:12:26,552 --> 01:12:28,220 Put down the drum. 1083 01:12:28,303 --> 01:12:29,721 All the women in the harem... 1084 01:12:30,264 --> 01:12:33,016 ...look like they've been struck by lightning. 1085 01:12:33,100 --> 01:12:35,519 But this one is good-looking. 1086 01:12:35,602 --> 01:12:37,938 You won't grant me this one morsel? 1087 01:12:38,021 --> 01:12:38,814 That's right. 1088 01:12:38,897 --> 01:12:40,440 You bastard! 1089 01:12:41,692 --> 01:12:43,902 Now that Master has made up his mind. 1090 01:12:43,986 --> 01:12:45,786 And since Felicity refuses to be a concubine. 1091 01:12:45,863 --> 01:12:48,031 Let's move towards a happy ending. 1092 01:12:48,907 --> 01:12:49,658 Attendants. 1093 01:12:49,741 --> 01:12:51,285 Fetch Felicity. 1094 01:12:51,827 --> 01:12:53,328 Thank you, Your Majesty. 1095 01:13:35,454 --> 01:13:36,163 Master. 1096 01:13:36,246 --> 01:13:37,289 Drink some water. 1097 01:13:39,833 --> 01:13:40,918 You first. 1098 01:13:41,001 --> 01:13:42,127 Thank you. 1099 01:13:45,380 --> 01:13:47,049 Monkey, what are you doing? 1100 01:13:47,132 --> 01:13:48,342 Taking a leak! 1101 01:13:48,592 --> 01:13:50,552 In front of a girl? What's got into you? 1102 01:13:50,636 --> 01:13:52,304 Go over there! 1103 01:13:53,889 --> 01:13:55,432 - Felicity... - Master, come with me. 1104 01:13:56,350 --> 01:13:57,476 I don't need to go. 1105 01:13:57,559 --> 01:13:58,644 Yes, you do! 1106 01:13:58,727 --> 01:13:59,770 Come. 1107 01:14:01,480 --> 01:14:03,106 One moment, I'll be right back. 1108 01:14:05,150 --> 01:14:06,360 My dear... 1109 01:14:07,110 --> 01:14:08,153 Who are you? 1110 01:14:08,612 --> 01:14:10,113 I'm Second Brother. 1111 01:14:10,197 --> 01:14:12,991 Isn't my true face... Completely irresistible? 1112 01:14:14,952 --> 01:14:15,952 Sometimes... 1113 01:14:16,453 --> 01:14:19,039 When I look in the mirror, my beauty stuns me. 1114 01:14:19,456 --> 01:14:20,456 Second Brother... 1115 01:14:20,666 --> 01:14:22,250 Brother Monkey is watching you. 1116 01:14:22,626 --> 01:14:24,086 So I can't look in the mirror. 1117 01:14:24,169 --> 01:14:25,379 When I accidentally do... 1118 01:14:27,589 --> 01:14:29,841 I would feel dizzy. 1119 01:14:40,102 --> 01:14:41,520 Extreme! 1120 01:14:41,603 --> 01:14:44,064 Mistress, go get a whip. 1121 01:14:44,356 --> 01:14:46,274 Lash me, correct me... 1122 01:14:46,358 --> 01:14:49,319 Insult me, beat me, punish me... 1123 01:14:51,029 --> 01:14:52,322 You're laughing at me. 1124 01:14:55,075 --> 01:14:56,618 You're coughing, Third Brother. 1125 01:14:56,702 --> 01:14:58,120 Drink some water. 1126 01:14:59,579 --> 01:15:01,665 What's blocking your nose? 1127 01:15:17,264 --> 01:15:18,264 That's more comfortable! 1128 01:15:18,432 --> 01:15:21,059 So you get back human form when you sneeze. 1129 01:15:21,143 --> 01:15:23,854 You should've said, it's hard work pulling you. 1130 01:15:24,813 --> 01:15:26,440 Master. 1131 01:15:26,523 --> 01:15:29,026 Try to pee just a little even if you don't want to. 1132 01:15:29,109 --> 01:15:30,709 Make a puddle to look at your reflection 1133 01:15:34,448 --> 01:15:36,450 I'm handsome, does that bother you? 1134 01:15:36,867 --> 01:15:39,369 You're not, you don't even have hair 1135 01:15:39,995 --> 01:15:41,329 Felicity is quite good-looking. 1136 01:15:41,413 --> 01:15:42,849 Why did she pass up being a queen... 1137 01:15:42,873 --> 01:15:44,583 To follow you instead? 1138 01:15:45,292 --> 01:15:46,835 What's on your mind? 1139 01:15:47,002 --> 01:15:49,796 She's actually a demon, she plans to eat you. 1140 01:15:51,631 --> 01:15:53,133 Don't do that! 1141 01:15:55,218 --> 01:15:57,596 Why didn't you tell me this earlier? 1142 01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:00,265 There are many kinds of demon. 1143 01:16:00,348 --> 01:16:01,933 Some are easy to spot. 1144 01:16:02,017 --> 01:16:04,936 Others aren't easy at all. 1145 01:16:07,981 --> 01:16:09,399 So you have no proof. 1146 01:16:10,358 --> 01:16:12,277 It's not hard to check. 1147 01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:14,154 You've let her looks blind you. 1148 01:16:14,237 --> 01:16:15,947 Get on her case. 1149 01:16:16,198 --> 01:16:17,532 Do I have to tell you how? 1150 01:16:17,616 --> 01:16:19,534 Aren't you a professional demon-hunter? 1151 01:16:44,059 --> 01:16:45,185 What are you looking for? 1152 01:16:45,393 --> 01:16:46,603 A mirror. 1153 01:16:47,104 --> 01:16:48,313 I have one. 1154 01:16:52,442 --> 01:16:53,735 Thank you. 1155 01:16:55,195 --> 01:16:56,988 What a shining bronze mirror! 1156 01:17:01,576 --> 01:17:02,619 Doesn't it work? 1157 01:17:03,703 --> 01:17:04,703 It's fine. 1158 01:17:09,751 --> 01:17:11,086 Have you finished? 1159 01:17:11,711 --> 01:17:13,213 I'll help comb your hair. 1160 01:17:23,181 --> 01:17:24,558 What are you doing? 1161 01:17:25,725 --> 01:17:27,060 A demon's blood will vaporize... 1162 01:17:27,144 --> 01:17:28,436 ...on the mirror. 1163 01:17:30,647 --> 01:17:31,398 That's impossible! 1164 01:17:31,481 --> 01:17:32,524 Nothing happened. 1165 01:17:32,816 --> 01:17:34,234 Shut it, demon-hunter. 1166 01:17:34,317 --> 01:17:36,194 - Let's calm down. - Where are you from? 1167 01:17:36,278 --> 01:17:37,737 I'm from Rivermouth Village. 1168 01:17:38,488 --> 01:17:39,072 Rivermouth Village. 1169 01:17:39,281 --> 01:17:40,508 It's on the other side of that hill 1170 01:17:40,532 --> 01:17:42,075 I dare you to take me there 1171 01:17:42,159 --> 01:17:43,679 I've never known a demon with a family 1172 01:17:43,743 --> 01:17:44,953 I'll go! 1173 01:17:47,455 --> 01:17:50,125 "Rivermouth Village" 1174 01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:57,048 Felicity, it's so long since you visited us. 1175 01:17:57,132 --> 01:18:00,302 Ma, I'm following a monk west to find sutras. 1176 01:18:02,012 --> 01:18:03,889 See how nice her family is? 1177 01:18:03,972 --> 01:18:05,640 You'd better apologize to them now. 1178 01:18:06,016 --> 01:18:07,976 Apologize? Dream on! 1179 01:18:16,359 --> 01:18:17,485 Dad! 1180 01:18:22,699 --> 01:18:25,118 Demon girl, you hired a big supporting cast. 1181 01:18:25,202 --> 01:18:26,036 No expense spared 1182 01:18:26,119 --> 01:18:28,038 I don't know what the misunderstanding is. 1183 01:18:28,121 --> 01:18:29,414 But please let my mother go. 1184 01:18:29,497 --> 01:18:31,374 Spare the lives of my family. 1185 01:18:31,541 --> 01:18:34,127 Don't be rash! Let her go. 1186 01:18:34,211 --> 01:18:35,253 Ma. 1187 01:18:35,629 --> 01:18:37,964 Brother Monkey, Master likes this young woman. 1188 01:18:38,048 --> 01:18:39,128 But he still loves you too. 1189 01:18:39,507 --> 01:18:41,009 Don't be jealous. 1190 01:18:41,593 --> 01:18:42,677 Jealous? 1191 01:18:43,887 --> 01:18:45,430 Will you shut up? 1192 01:18:48,725 --> 01:18:50,852 Ma, Run. 1193 01:18:52,187 --> 01:18:54,147 How many times must I tell you? 1194 01:18:54,231 --> 01:18:55,440 This woman is really a demon. 1195 01:18:55,523 --> 01:18:56,709 They're in league to do you harm. 1196 01:18:56,733 --> 01:18:58,173 They're a family, three generations! 1197 01:18:58,443 --> 01:19:00,362 And you keep slandering them! 1198 01:19:01,029 --> 01:19:02,864 You're the one doing harm. 1199 01:19:02,948 --> 01:19:04,157 You're the demon. 1200 01:19:04,241 --> 01:19:06,618 So you believe her rather than me? 1201 01:19:06,826 --> 01:19:07,911 Yes. 1202 01:19:07,994 --> 01:19:08,787 Fine. 1203 01:19:08,995 --> 01:19:10,163 Then I'll kill her. 1204 01:19:16,878 --> 01:19:18,964 How dare you smite me as a demon? 1205 01:19:19,589 --> 01:19:20,757 All the women that I like. 1206 01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:22,133 Such as Miss Duan before her. 1207 01:19:22,217 --> 01:19:23,635 You want to kill them all? 1208 01:19:24,386 --> 01:19:25,929 He finally said it. 1209 01:19:30,141 --> 01:19:32,227 So you haven't forgotten. 1210 01:19:32,310 --> 01:19:33,895 Of course I remember 1211 01:19:34,062 --> 01:19:35,062 I'll always remember. 1212 01:19:35,105 --> 01:19:37,607 The way you beat her, beat her to death! 1213 01:19:38,483 --> 01:19:40,483 I thought you were really treating me as a brother. 1214 01:19:40,652 --> 01:19:41,653 Brother? 1215 01:19:42,070 --> 01:19:44,614 Since I'm stuck with a mad killer like you, day in, day out... 1216 01:19:44,698 --> 01:19:47,617 ...I have to pretend to get along with you! 1217 01:19:47,701 --> 01:19:49,828 If you died 10 times, it wouldn't be enough 1218 01:19:49,911 --> 01:19:52,163 I wish you'd go to hell and be damned forever 1219 01:19:52,247 --> 01:19:53,247 I see. 1220 01:19:53,581 --> 01:19:55,208 If you're not my friend in this world... 1221 01:19:55,750 --> 01:19:57,419 You're my enemy. 1222 01:19:58,586 --> 01:19:59,963 We've been enemies all along. 1223 01:20:00,588 --> 01:20:01,715 Get out! 1224 01:20:02,090 --> 01:20:04,718 Go away as far as possible, while I'm in a good mood. 1225 01:20:05,844 --> 01:20:07,387 So you're in a good mood? 1226 01:20:07,470 --> 01:20:09,097 Listen, all of you. 1227 01:20:09,306 --> 01:20:11,599 For all the demon I killed... 1228 01:20:11,683 --> 01:20:12,683 ...on this journey... 1229 01:20:12,726 --> 01:20:14,269 I did it for him. 1230 01:20:14,728 --> 01:20:16,813 My constant headaches... 1231 01:20:16,896 --> 01:20:18,690 The lash-scars all over my body... 1232 01:20:18,815 --> 01:20:20,775 That's all his doing. 1233 01:20:21,318 --> 01:20:22,652 Whatever I owed him... 1234 01:20:22,736 --> 01:20:24,404 I've repaid it in full. 1235 01:20:24,779 --> 01:20:27,615 Whatever he owes me, no need to repay. 1236 01:20:28,116 --> 01:20:30,285 From now on, our master-disciple bond... 1237 01:20:30,368 --> 01:20:31,786 ...is at an end! 1238 01:20:33,330 --> 01:20:34,748 - Brother Monkey! - Let him go. 1239 01:20:42,964 --> 01:20:43,964 Dad 1240 01:21:08,615 --> 01:21:10,033 Felicity, how's your family? 1241 01:21:10,116 --> 01:21:13,244 They're recovering, they'll be fine. 1242 01:21:14,120 --> 01:21:17,165 Please don't blame yourself. 1243 01:21:17,332 --> 01:21:19,292 Who's Miss Duan? 1244 01:21:23,088 --> 01:21:25,006 Miss Duan was also a demon-hunter. 1245 01:21:25,882 --> 01:21:28,301 We faced life or death struggles together. 1246 01:21:28,760 --> 01:21:29,928 I loved her a lot. 1247 01:21:30,553 --> 01:21:32,764 But I dared not admit it. 1248 01:21:33,556 --> 01:21:34,432 Until the day I saw... 1249 01:21:34,516 --> 01:21:35,892 ...the way Monkey beat her. 1250 01:21:35,975 --> 01:21:37,394 Beat her to death. 1251 01:21:37,894 --> 01:21:39,312 And then it was too late. 1252 01:21:40,271 --> 01:21:41,773 I let her down. 1253 01:21:42,649 --> 01:21:45,276 And if you meet someone else you like... 1254 01:21:45,360 --> 01:21:46,945 ...will you let her down again? 1255 01:21:53,993 --> 01:21:56,538 I never wanted too much from life. 1256 01:21:57,580 --> 01:21:59,499 Just find the right man... 1257 01:22:00,291 --> 01:22:03,670 Get married, have a baby... 1258 01:22:04,671 --> 01:22:06,798 Settle down 1259 01:22:10,510 --> 01:22:11,678 I've found that man... 1260 01:22:12,053 --> 01:22:13,263 It's you. 1261 01:22:36,411 --> 01:22:37,620 Master, it's a crisis! 1262 01:22:37,704 --> 01:22:38,621 Brother Monkey has gone mad. 1263 01:22:38,705 --> 01:22:41,166 He killed everyone in sight, we couldn't stop him! 1264 01:22:52,886 --> 01:22:54,012 Pigsy, Sandy... 1265 01:22:54,095 --> 01:22:55,305 See if anyone can be saved. 1266 01:22:55,388 --> 01:22:57,056 Ma! Dad! 1267 01:23:06,733 --> 01:23:09,360 Dad! Ma! 1268 01:23:09,903 --> 01:23:12,739 You can smile after killing so many? 1269 01:23:12,822 --> 01:23:14,407 You're possessed by the devil. 1270 01:23:15,158 --> 01:23:17,327 Those I killed were all demons. 1271 01:23:18,119 --> 01:23:19,496 So I won't waste words. 1272 01:23:19,579 --> 01:23:20,899 You don't believe anything I say. 1273 01:23:22,248 --> 01:23:23,374 I'll kill the last one. 1274 01:23:23,458 --> 01:23:24,667 And have done with it. 1275 01:23:27,795 --> 01:23:28,630 Don't force me. 1276 01:23:28,713 --> 01:23:30,965 You'll give your life to protect a demon? 1277 01:23:31,341 --> 01:23:32,634 I won't let you hurt any more... 1278 01:23:32,717 --> 01:23:34,093 ...of the people I love. 1279 01:23:34,385 --> 01:23:36,596 You're possessed! Out of my way! 1280 01:23:39,390 --> 01:23:40,390 That's enough! 1281 01:23:41,643 --> 01:23:42,519 Enough? 1282 01:23:42,602 --> 01:23:44,562 You want to die, so be my guest. 1283 01:23:44,854 --> 01:23:47,357 "Child, Child, why..." 1284 01:23:47,941 --> 01:23:49,817 "Child, Child..." 1285 01:23:49,901 --> 01:23:51,986 "Why are you so bad?" 1286 01:23:52,278 --> 01:23:54,072 I'll sing it for you. 1287 01:23:57,242 --> 01:23:58,242 Buddha's Palm? 1288 01:24:02,413 --> 01:24:04,415 Buddha's Palm? Still pretending! 1289 01:24:04,499 --> 01:24:05,750 You can't do it! 1290 01:24:09,796 --> 01:24:12,257 Don't believe me, asshole? 1291 01:24:15,677 --> 01:24:16,803 No! 1292 01:24:16,886 --> 01:24:18,972 Please don't strike your Master. 1293 01:24:19,055 --> 01:24:21,224 Stop, I beg you. 1294 01:24:23,851 --> 01:24:25,436 That's very touching 1295 01:24:25,520 --> 01:24:26,896 I'll kill you first. 1296 01:24:36,656 --> 01:24:38,741 Baldy, you're worth nothing. 1297 01:24:39,742 --> 01:24:42,537 Don't hit him! 1298 01:24:42,620 --> 01:24:44,831 I'll admit it, I'm a demon 1299 01:24:45,957 --> 01:24:46,666 I'm a demon. 1300 01:24:46,749 --> 01:24:49,168 My real form is a skeleton 1301 01:24:49,335 --> 01:24:51,546 I conjured up the illusion of this village. 1302 01:24:52,297 --> 01:24:53,756 You need to hear her say it again? 1303 01:24:53,840 --> 01:24:57,552 My beloved and I were waylaid by mountain brigands. 1304 01:24:57,802 --> 01:25:00,930 My love abandoned me and fled 1305 01:25:01,014 --> 01:25:02,015 I was horribly abused. 1306 01:25:04,851 --> 01:25:07,729 The brigands raped me and left me to die. 1307 01:25:09,188 --> 01:25:11,524 I turned into a heap of bones. 1308 01:25:11,608 --> 01:25:14,068 But my grievances have never died. 1309 01:25:19,741 --> 01:25:22,201 In truth, I'm nothing but bones 1310 01:25:24,037 --> 01:25:25,246 I'm sorry. 1311 01:26:09,707 --> 01:26:11,747 Heavens! Master is dead! We can forget those sutras! 1312 01:26:11,793 --> 01:26:13,127 Hurray! 1313 01:26:42,281 --> 01:26:43,866 Case closed! 1314 01:26:44,200 --> 01:26:46,077 Minister, you're so great! 1315 01:26:47,954 --> 01:26:49,997 You had provoked Monkey's demonic nature. 1316 01:26:50,081 --> 01:26:51,791 He's even gobbled up his Master. 1317 01:26:53,876 --> 01:26:56,045 See how Buddha rages in the western sky. 1318 01:26:56,129 --> 01:26:57,338 Shut up! 1319 01:26:59,757 --> 01:27:02,260 I have a dream. 1320 01:27:02,677 --> 01:27:03,594 I want all the world's liars 1321 01:27:03,678 --> 01:27:05,763 and monsters to show... 1322 01:27:05,847 --> 01:27:07,515 ...their true colors 1323 01:27:08,850 --> 01:27:10,518 Felicity, no need to hide. 1324 01:27:10,601 --> 01:27:12,520 Come on, show yourself. 1325 01:27:12,812 --> 01:27:14,647 Your stratagem of sowing discord was smart. 1326 01:27:15,189 --> 01:27:17,859 I know you have true feelings for the monk. 1327 01:27:17,942 --> 01:27:19,944 You're following your heart. 1328 01:27:20,528 --> 01:27:24,282 My very own path to supreme wisdom. 1329 01:27:26,075 --> 01:27:28,995 So this is the legendary Monkey King? 1330 01:27:29,579 --> 01:27:31,164 So cute! 1331 01:27:31,247 --> 01:27:33,666 Like a banana? 1332 01:27:41,466 --> 01:27:44,427 Fine, we can adopt him as our pet. 1333 01:27:45,094 --> 01:27:45,970 Why not! 1334 01:27:46,053 --> 01:27:46,846 6 hands 1335 01:27:46,929 --> 01:27:50,141 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 1336 01:27:52,727 --> 01:27:54,228 My turn! 1337 01:28:08,367 --> 01:28:10,161 King of demons? 1338 01:28:10,495 --> 01:28:12,288 All I did was cough. 1339 01:28:12,371 --> 01:28:14,248 And you were terrified 1340 01:28:16,584 --> 01:28:17,627 I'm your new Master. 1341 01:28:18,503 --> 01:28:20,087 You'd better obey me. 1342 01:28:20,171 --> 01:28:21,923 Or you'll be spanked. 1343 01:28:49,659 --> 01:28:51,577 So you're finally revealing your foxtail. 1344 01:28:52,161 --> 01:28:53,161 My tail? 1345 01:28:53,204 --> 01:28:54,997 No, I keep it well hidden. 1346 01:28:56,040 --> 01:28:57,166 Monk... 1347 01:28:57,542 --> 01:28:59,794 You're the one who stands exposed. 1348 01:28:59,877 --> 01:29:01,963 All that canoodling with skeleton-demon here... 1349 01:29:02,630 --> 01:29:04,006 Worldly desires are back? 1350 01:29:04,215 --> 01:29:06,175 Felicity hasn't lost her virtues 1351 01:29:06,259 --> 01:29:08,970 I'll make it possible for her to reincarnate. 1352 01:29:09,428 --> 01:29:10,748 Your stratagem is to sow discord. 1353 01:29:10,847 --> 01:29:12,765 But we have a counter-stratagem. 1354 01:29:12,932 --> 01:29:16,435 You thought we were fooled by Felicity. 1355 01:29:16,519 --> 01:29:17,579 You thought she could sow discord... 1356 01:29:17,603 --> 01:29:19,605 ...between Monkey and me. 1357 01:29:19,939 --> 01:29:22,608 But you underestimated Monkey's vision. 1358 01:29:22,692 --> 01:29:25,403 The skeleton-demon conjured up the village. 1359 01:29:25,486 --> 01:29:26,654 We knew it at the beginning. 1360 01:29:27,280 --> 01:29:30,491 And we pretended to be fooled by it, as you hoped. 1361 01:29:30,575 --> 01:29:32,785 We tricked you into revealing yourself. 1362 01:29:32,869 --> 01:29:33,494 Minister... 1363 01:29:33,578 --> 01:29:35,288 I'll tell you one more thing 1364 01:29:35,746 --> 01:29:37,623 I'm actually very wise! 1365 01:29:43,963 --> 01:29:45,548 Wise? 1366 01:29:45,631 --> 01:29:48,050 Comfort yourself with your illusions. 1367 01:29:49,677 --> 01:29:52,346 Let's see what you can do to me. 1368 01:29:54,599 --> 01:29:55,725 Strike! 1369 01:29:56,434 --> 01:29:57,810 All right! 1370 01:30:43,689 --> 01:30:46,275 Master, grasp my tail 1371 01:30:50,488 --> 01:30:51,572 Felicity! 1372 01:30:51,656 --> 01:30:53,532 Take care! Stay clear! 1373 01:30:56,285 --> 01:30:58,621 I'm the Monkey King! 1374 01:30:58,955 --> 01:31:00,998 Demon, you cannot flee! 1375 01:31:07,463 --> 01:31:10,257 Bad monkey, he's such a stupid monk. 1376 01:31:10,341 --> 01:31:12,051 Is it worth dying for him? 1377 01:31:13,010 --> 01:31:14,345 Master, she knows you too well. 1378 01:31:14,428 --> 01:31:15,805 She says you're stupid. 1379 01:31:15,972 --> 01:31:18,349 Don't listen to her, I'm very wise. 1380 01:31:19,183 --> 01:31:20,351 See my moves. 1381 01:31:20,893 --> 01:31:21,978 Ward me off? 1382 01:31:22,436 --> 01:31:23,604 You think you can? 1383 01:31:29,694 --> 01:31:30,903 Monkey... 1384 01:31:31,112 --> 01:31:32,655 Your nemesis is here! 1385 01:31:51,799 --> 01:31:53,050 Buddha! 1386 01:31:53,342 --> 01:31:56,303 Even Buddha is invited! Giving you real face! 1387 01:32:08,524 --> 01:32:09,734 It's not possible. 1388 01:32:09,942 --> 01:32:11,152 It's an imposter. 1389 01:32:11,235 --> 01:32:14,030 Yep, looks like he's had a nose and chin job. 1390 01:32:14,113 --> 01:32:15,614 Monkey... 1391 01:32:16,198 --> 01:32:18,492 You've felt Buddha's power. 1392 01:32:18,617 --> 01:32:20,286 Come closer for the full effect! 1393 01:32:22,830 --> 01:32:25,458 Fine, try my Anchoring Pole. 1394 01:32:35,426 --> 01:32:38,471 No wave-swell can match the East Sea itself! 1395 01:33:04,246 --> 01:33:06,624 Master, shelter in my ear-lobe. 1396 01:33:51,293 --> 01:33:52,545 Two Buddhas! 1397 01:34:27,163 --> 01:34:28,789 Monkey, Monkey... 1398 01:35:52,873 --> 01:35:55,000 Immortal gold vulture. 1399 01:35:55,084 --> 01:35:57,503 You have cultivated yourself beside me. 1400 01:35:58,545 --> 01:36:00,756 Yet you do not understand. 1401 01:36:01,507 --> 01:36:05,261 No wonder you spread sophistry in the world. 1402 01:36:06,720 --> 01:36:08,013 Lord Buddha 1403 01:36:08,097 --> 01:36:09,848 I live for you 1404 01:36:09,932 --> 01:36:12,893 I've been by your side for so many years. 1405 01:36:13,394 --> 01:36:15,521 But did you ever notice me? 1406 01:36:15,771 --> 01:36:17,022 Say no more. 1407 01:36:18,357 --> 01:36:21,318 Immortal gold vulture, show your true self. 1408 01:37:01,066 --> 01:37:02,484 Try to stand, Felicity. 1409 01:37:02,901 --> 01:37:04,621 I will try to exorcise your demonic traits. 1410 01:37:06,322 --> 01:37:07,906 There's too much demon in me. 1411 01:37:08,157 --> 01:37:09,742 Even if you save me... 1412 01:37:10,034 --> 01:37:12,202 I can't be sure I won't harm humans again. 1413 01:37:12,703 --> 01:37:14,038 You conquer demons. 1414 01:37:14,538 --> 01:37:15,914 And I am a demon. 1415 01:37:16,332 --> 01:37:17,916 Free my soul. 1416 01:37:20,961 --> 01:37:22,046 She's right. 1417 01:37:22,504 --> 01:37:25,632 Her acrimony runs too deep, she has to burn 1418 01:37:28,177 --> 01:37:29,470 Felicity... 1419 01:37:30,262 --> 01:37:33,974 The greatest obstacle in the world is love. 1420 01:37:36,769 --> 01:37:40,314 She... is always here in your heart. 1421 01:37:40,397 --> 01:37:42,232 She fills it. 1422 01:37:42,649 --> 01:37:43,901 If only... 1423 01:37:44,818 --> 01:37:48,822 I could... Remain as a trace in your memories... 1424 01:37:48,906 --> 01:37:50,240 I'll be content. 1425 01:37:55,412 --> 01:37:56,747 Don't look at me. 1426 01:37:56,830 --> 01:37:58,665 Clean up your own mess 1427 01:37:58,749 --> 01:38:01,126 I don't want you saying I've killed your girl. 1428 01:38:01,877 --> 01:38:03,087 Let's go. 1429 01:38:07,716 --> 01:38:09,093 The truth is... 1430 01:38:09,426 --> 01:38:11,553 I really have fallen for you. 1431 01:38:13,013 --> 01:38:15,224 Do you like me at least a tiny bit? 1432 01:38:18,435 --> 01:38:19,603 Sorry... 1433 01:38:20,020 --> 01:38:21,397 My heart... 1434 01:38:22,022 --> 01:38:23,899 ...has no space for anyone else 1435 01:38:25,567 --> 01:38:27,361 I'm so silly, aren't I? 1436 01:38:28,737 --> 01:38:29,905 I knew that. 1437 01:38:30,155 --> 01:38:31,407 But I still asked 1438 01:38:35,994 --> 01:38:37,204 Felicity... 1439 01:38:39,581 --> 01:38:41,125 I'm going to send you on your way. 1440 01:39:37,473 --> 01:39:39,475 Master, we should talk... 1441 01:39:39,558 --> 01:39:42,144 Did you ever have feelings for Felicity? 1442 01:39:44,480 --> 01:39:45,814 I'm asking you... 1443 01:39:46,231 --> 01:39:48,650 Did you ever have feelings for Felicity? 1444 01:39:50,486 --> 01:39:51,612 Of course not! 1445 01:39:51,695 --> 01:39:53,280 You're the only one in my heart. 1446 01:39:53,655 --> 01:39:54,781 Only me? 1447 01:39:54,990 --> 01:39:55,866 Brother Monkey... 1448 01:39:55,949 --> 01:39:58,327 Your headband was once Miss Duan's. 1449 01:39:58,410 --> 01:39:59,596 The memory of her still haunts Master. 1450 01:39:59,620 --> 01:40:01,246 So he sometimes takes you for her. 1451 01:40:01,330 --> 01:40:03,499 You can see it in his smile, look! 1452 01:40:04,124 --> 01:40:05,417 Impossible! 1453 01:40:08,045 --> 01:40:09,671 Really? 1454 01:40:11,006 --> 01:40:13,175 You don't trust even me? 1455 01:40:17,221 --> 01:40:20,390 So did she ever touch your heart? 1456 01:40:21,141 --> 01:40:24,061 Of course not, it's a meaningless question. 1457 01:40:24,144 --> 01:40:25,687 Did you really think I'd say yes? 1458 01:40:25,771 --> 01:40:27,290 You women always ask the same question. 1459 01:40:27,314 --> 01:40:29,483 So you did, you lowlife! 1460 01:40:29,733 --> 01:40:30,817 Lowlife! 1461 01:40:39,117 --> 01:40:41,095 This can't go on, I'd better get back the headband. 1462 01:40:41,119 --> 01:40:42,579 Or she'll ask again. 1463 01:40:43,956 --> 01:40:45,207 What are you doing? 1464 01:40:45,582 --> 01:40:46,667 Give back the headband. 1465 01:40:46,750 --> 01:40:48,627 Are you crazy? You gave it to me. 1466 01:40:48,710 --> 01:40:51,004 It doesn't suit you, it makes you look awful. 1467 01:40:51,088 --> 01:40:52,982 You should have said so before, you can have it. 1468 01:40:53,006 --> 01:40:54,550 Hand it over! Why are you running off? 1469 01:40:54,633 --> 01:40:56,611 I said I will give back to you and you don't trust me? 1470 01:40:56,635 --> 01:40:58,303 Stop talking, give back to me 1471 01:40:58,387 --> 01:40:59,263 I've given it to you. 1472 01:40:59,346 --> 01:41:01,265 No, you just said you would. 1473 01:41:01,348 --> 01:41:02,766 Right, I said I would. 1474 01:41:02,849 --> 01:41:05,269 You said you would, but you haven't done so. 1475 01:41:05,352 --> 01:41:06,853 Haven't I? Are you sure? 1476 01:41:06,937 --> 01:41:08,564 I'm sure! Believe me for once! 1477 01:41:08,647 --> 01:41:09,647 I don't. 1478 01:47:57,889 --> 01:47:58,723 Let's go. 1479 01:47:58,807 --> 01:48:00,727 Hang on, there's probably more after the credits. 1480 01:48:00,767 --> 01:48:02,769 No need to wait, there's no post-credits scene. 1481 01:48:02,852 --> 01:48:04,497 Please be sure to take all your belongings. 1482 01:48:04,521 --> 01:48:06,606 Exit on the right side, thank you. 1483 01:48:07,107 --> 01:48:09,484 Hey, blockbusters always have a post-credits scene! 1484 01:48:09,567 --> 01:48:11,194 This isn't a blockbuster. 1485 01:48:11,277 --> 01:48:12,779 So there isn't one. 1486 01:48:14,239 --> 01:48:15,532 I repeat. 1487 01:48:15,615 --> 01:48:16,992 It's not a blockbuster. 1488 01:48:17,283 --> 01:48:18,702 So there isn't one. 1489 01:48:19,536 --> 01:48:21,121 If this were a blockbuster. 1490 01:48:21,830 --> 01:48:23,123 There'd be one148317

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