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1
00:00:04,288 --> 00:00:05,797
Hi.
2
00:00:05,963 --> 00:00:06,931
Hi, babe.
3
00:00:07,056 --> 00:00:09,384
Hey, we went ahead
and ate without you.
4
00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:11,235
Oh, sorry, after work
I got dinner with Craig
5
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,347
and they had karaoke,
so I did a couple songs.
6
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,808
I went hard at lady antebellum
7
00:00:16,974 --> 00:00:19,644
and bombed.
8
00:00:21,037 --> 00:00:22,731
Oh, that's weird.
Oh, that's Craig.
9
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:25,067
- Weren't you just with Craig?
- Yeah, he's such an idiot.
10
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:26,817
What?
11
00:00:26,942 --> 00:00:30,587
Okay, why do you want to know
my shoe size, you psycho?
12
00:00:30,712 --> 00:00:31,573
I'm a 10.
13
00:00:32,047 --> 00:00:33,367
Okay, that myth is not true,
14
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:37,537
because I actually
have a very small penis.
15
00:00:37,703 --> 00:00:39,122
Good-bye.
Pfft.
16
00:00:42,166 --> 00:00:44,169
What? Craig was buying me insoles.
17
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:46,088
This Craig guy's buying you insoles?
18
00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:47,670
Yeah, my feet are killing me.
19
00:00:47,795 --> 00:00:49,405
High heels are evil.
Whoever invented these things
20
00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:51,240
were trying to
make women easier to catch
21
00:00:51,365 --> 00:00:54,638
and drag back to their caves.
22
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,390
He said he was in the drugstore
and he thought of me.
23
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,880
Okay, you don't think
about a girl at the drugstore
24
00:00:59,005 --> 00:01:00,548
unless you're sleeping with her
25
00:01:00,673 --> 00:01:05,440
or you have an unfortunate
souvenir from sleeping with her.
26
00:01:05,606 --> 00:01:07,355
This guy knows
you have a boyfriend, right?
27
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:11,780
One that looks,
and may possibly be, tough.
28
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,740
What are you guys implying?
29
00:01:13,906 --> 00:01:18,286
That Craig's interest in you
doesn't stop at your feet.
30
00:01:18,452 --> 00:01:21,468
It travels due north from there.
31
00:01:21,593 --> 00:01:23,704
And then it goes slightly South.
32
00:01:23,829 --> 00:01:25,939
And then it goes back up north.
33
00:01:26,064 --> 00:01:28,005
And then it goes east-west,
east-west, east-west.
34
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,877
- Okay, we get it.
- Mark.
35
00:01:31,002 --> 00:01:32,259
Sorry.
36
00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,886
Craig and I just work together.
37
00:01:35,052 --> 00:01:36,950
Yeah, but you don't
just work together, you know.
38
00:01:37,075 --> 00:01:39,252
He gets you stuff,
he calls you after work,
39
00:01:39,377 --> 00:01:40,987
you guys do karaoke.
40
00:01:41,112 --> 00:01:42,487
It seems like if it were switched,
41
00:01:42,612 --> 00:01:44,229
I'd be in a lot of trouble.
42
00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:46,091
Okay, you're being insane.
43
00:01:46,216 --> 00:01:48,024
Craig and I are just friends.
44
00:01:48,190 --> 00:01:49,985
Yeah, what's this friend look like?
45
00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:51,630
I will show you.
46
00:01:51,755 --> 00:01:56,034
And you will see that
Craig is just Craig.
47
00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:59,286
You have a picture
of this guy in your phone?
48
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,172
Okay, he was wearing
a boat-neck sweater,
49
00:02:01,297 --> 00:02:04,374
what was I,
not going to take a picture?
50
00:02:04,540 --> 00:02:06,944
Glasses. Smart guy.
They're the worst.
51
00:02:07,069 --> 00:02:09,013
They can't get in your pants,
so they get in your brain
52
00:02:09,138 --> 00:02:11,849
and they work their way South.
53
00:02:11,974 --> 00:02:14,342
And then they go back up north.
54
00:02:14,508 --> 00:02:16,119
And then they go
east and west and east and west.
55
00:02:16,244 --> 00:02:17,471
Mark.
56
00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,257
This is ridiculous.
There is nothing going on.
57
00:02:20,382 --> 00:02:22,692
Craig has a girlfriend named Marcine
58
00:02:22,817 --> 00:02:23,894
who he's been with forever.
59
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,479
"Marcine"?
60
00:02:28,856 --> 00:02:30,232
Yes.
61
00:02:30,399 --> 00:02:32,234
I mean, that's obviously
a name you make up
62
00:02:32,359 --> 00:02:34,870
when you're lying.
63
00:02:34,995 --> 00:02:36,448
Alex, seriously?
64
00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:37,991
Seriously.
65
00:02:38,157 --> 00:02:39,641
The weirdest part is you and Craig
66
00:02:39,766 --> 00:02:41,376
would totally love each other.
67
00:02:41,501 --> 00:02:43,012
You know what?
Let's do a dinner,
68
00:02:43,137 --> 00:02:45,540
you, me, Craig, and Marcine.
69
00:02:45,706 --> 00:02:48,794
No, I do not want to do a dinner.
70
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,453
It'll get you out of
game night with Lily and Neal.
71
00:02:52,578 --> 00:02:54,841
Okay, I'll do a dinner.
72
00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:55,990
Whitney is taped
73
00:02:56,115 --> 00:02:59,217
in front of a live
studio audience, so...
74
00:03:04,089 --> 00:03:05,432
What is it about couples
after they've
75
00:03:05,557 --> 00:03:06,853
been together for a year?
76
00:03:07,019 --> 00:03:11,107
Their need to host game nights
becomes all-consuming.
77
00:03:11,273 --> 00:03:13,276
Don't chat me up.
We're not on the same team.
78
00:03:13,442 --> 00:03:14,069
Well, how do you know?
79
00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:16,404
Because we're going to play
holes versus poles.
80
00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:21,576
I want to win,
and I cannot win with a woman.
81
00:03:21,742 --> 00:03:23,282
Well, that might have more to do with
82
00:03:23,407 --> 00:03:26,373
your use of phrases, like,
"holes versus poles."
83
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:27,553
Think about it.
84
00:03:27,678 --> 00:03:29,042
Have you ever seen
a woman win jeopardy!?
85
00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:30,836
Yes, I have.
86
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,326
I'm not saying that women are dumb.
87
00:03:33,451 --> 00:03:34,893
I'm saying they're too smart.
88
00:03:35,018 --> 00:03:37,362
They overthink everything.
Largest animal?
89
00:03:37,487 --> 00:03:39,264
"Um, that depends.
Are we talking land or water?
90
00:03:39,389 --> 00:03:40,398
Height or weight?"
91
00:03:40,523 --> 00:03:41,766
Eeeh!
92
00:03:41,891 --> 00:03:43,598
Time's up.
Blue whale... boom.
93
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,852
Okay, Neal and I
are engaged, we're a team.
94
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,645
No.
95
00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,814
Mark, you are comfortably
in your '30s.
96
00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:53,984
Skooch, skooch.
97
00:03:57,486 --> 00:04:00,991
Just don't slow me down
with your Slovaries.
98
00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:03,869
- And go.
- Candy.
99
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,678
- Uh, cane.
- Yes.
100
00:04:05,803 --> 00:04:07,023
- March.
- Madness.
101
00:04:07,148 --> 00:04:08,123
Yes.
Pig.
102
00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:09,767
- Skin.
- Got it.
103
00:04:09,892 --> 00:04:11,126
- Spike.
- TV.
104
00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:14,296
Yeah!
That's how it's done.
105
00:04:15,671 --> 00:04:17,757
Our work's cut out for us, partner.
106
00:04:17,923 --> 00:04:19,801
Yeah. I'm not
worried at all, partner.
107
00:04:19,967 --> 00:04:21,887
- Nope.
- All right.
108
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,054
Go.
109
00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,611
Oak.
110
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:32,522
Tree.
111
00:04:33,418 --> 00:04:37,944
Nope.
Uh, place.
112
00:04:39,478 --> 00:04:41,615
Forest.
113
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:46,794
Baseball.
114
00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:47,829
Bat.
115
00:04:47,995 --> 00:04:48,955
No.
116
00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:50,582
Come on, Neal.
You're all over the map, here.
117
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,400
Okay, let's not panic.
118
00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:53,585
Central.
119
00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:54,961
Cent... well, now you're
just sayings words.
120
00:04:55,127 --> 00:04:56,296
That's what this game is.
121
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:57,756
- And that's time.
- Ah.
122
00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:00,175
On her yogurt!
123
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,968
How many times are you going
write your name on yogurt?
124
00:05:02,134 --> 00:05:04,077
I know!
125
00:05:04,202 --> 00:05:07,013
So, uh, it's so weird that
you guys have never met before,
126
00:05:07,138 --> 00:05:09,059
because you guys both
come here all the time.
127
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,917
Oh, Marcine and I love this place.
128
00:05:12,042 --> 00:05:16,021
Oh, and by the way, I'm so sorry
that she couldn't make it.
129
00:05:16,146 --> 00:05:17,722
Yeah, me too, you know, and then
130
00:05:17,847 --> 00:05:19,491
when you showed up and you
said she was sick,
131
00:05:19,616 --> 00:05:22,118
I was like, "no."
132
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:26,031
You know, you guys
both created websites.
133
00:05:26,156 --> 00:05:27,410
Before Craig was at the magazine,
134
00:05:27,576 --> 00:05:29,913
he had a website too,
so tell him about yours.
135
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:32,207
Oh, yeah. I have
a video sharing website.
136
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:33,839
Oh, that's so cool.
137
00:05:33,964 --> 00:05:37,909
Oh, I just built one for Obama,
because he's a friend.
138
00:05:38,034 --> 00:05:41,383
Brendan Fraser slept
with my ex-girlfriend.
139
00:05:43,572 --> 00:05:45,349
Um, you guys both also play guitar.
140
00:05:45,474 --> 00:05:46,638
Don't you play guitar?
141
00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:49,391
Oh, yeah, that...
That was years ago in school.
142
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:50,600
Well, I was just self-taught.
143
00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:52,389
Oh, that... that sounds fun.
144
00:05:52,514 --> 00:05:56,106
Because Juilliard was a real grind.
145
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:57,983
Oh, by the way,
how is your dad feeling?
146
00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,526
Oh, he's so much better, thank you.
147
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:00,986
Whoa, what happened with your dad?
148
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,431
Oh, he had to go
to the emergency room,
149
00:06:02,556 --> 00:06:04,281
but it turns out
it was just heartburn.
150
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,268
When?
Why didn't you tell me?
151
00:06:06,393 --> 00:06:07,951
I told you, it was yesterday.
Didn't I tell you?
152
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:10,203
No, you didn't tell me.
153
00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:12,876
Oh, it's just that my dad's
been feeling sick too.
154
00:06:13,001 --> 00:06:14,210
Oh.
155
00:06:14,335 --> 00:06:17,085
My mom's going through menopause.
156
00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:23,591
So, we're just kind of
taking it day by day.
157
00:06:24,845 --> 00:06:28,555
Got the seafood tower for two...
158
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,425
And the personal pizza.
159
00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:31,558
Thanks.
160
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:35,195
- That looks good.
- Yeah.
161
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,521
I never get to order this.
162
00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:37,939
Marcine hates shellfish.
163
00:06:38,105 --> 00:06:39,557
Uh, so does Alex.
164
00:06:39,682 --> 00:06:41,035
Uh, Whitney can I give you crabs?
165
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,445
Too late!
166
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:44,772
Ha ha ha ha.
Awesome, wow.
167
00:06:44,897 --> 00:06:48,366
An std joke about my girlfriend.
168
00:06:50,966 --> 00:06:52,495
Alex is jealous of Craig?
169
00:06:53,627 --> 00:06:55,471
Are you talking about Craig from work
170
00:06:55,596 --> 00:06:58,043
or Daniel Craig?
171
00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,443
It's so weird.
And Alex is never jealous.
172
00:07:00,568 --> 00:07:01,744
I'm the jealous one.
173
00:07:01,869 --> 00:07:06,217
I mean, now I know
how annoying it is to date me.
174
00:07:06,383 --> 00:07:08,717
This must be about something else.
175
00:07:08,842 --> 00:07:10,652
My advice, get ahead of this,
176
00:07:10,777 --> 00:07:12,019
because it will only get worse.
177
00:07:12,144 --> 00:07:14,225
You're going to need to
dig deep and do the hard work.
178
00:07:14,391 --> 00:07:18,605
Ugh...
Sex in the morning?
179
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:21,127
No, I was talking
about couples therapy.
180
00:07:21,252 --> 00:07:24,865
My friends went to this guy,
saved the relationship.
181
00:07:24,990 --> 00:07:27,155
He was totally on her side.
182
00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:29,236
Good, because
I'm not going to therapy
183
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:30,784
unless I know I can win.
184
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:34,913
Hey, partner.
Nice win last night.
185
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,743
Now do you see how
idiotic your theory is
186
00:07:36,868 --> 00:07:38,833
about women playing games?
187
00:07:38,999 --> 00:07:40,646
It can't possibly be
as idiotic as his theory
188
00:07:40,771 --> 00:07:42,749
about how women can't be
lactose intolerant
189
00:07:42,874 --> 00:07:46,352
because they produce breast milk.
190
00:07:46,477 --> 00:07:51,380
What? You can dish it out,
but you can't take it?
191
00:07:53,316 --> 00:07:56,027
And it's more than
a theory, ladypants.
192
00:07:56,152 --> 00:07:58,329
It's precisely why we won.
193
00:07:58,454 --> 00:08:00,231
Because Roxanne may
look like all woman,
194
00:08:00,356 --> 00:08:02,066
but she thinks like a dude.
195
00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:03,650
What?
Excuse me?
196
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,404
I said Jedi, you said knight.
197
00:08:05,529 --> 00:08:07,104
I said rose, you said bowl.
198
00:08:07,229 --> 00:08:10,198
- You're like 90% dude.
- I am not.
199
00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:11,741
You're drinking straight vodka.
200
00:08:11,907 --> 00:08:14,702
You eat ribs like a Wolverine.
201
00:08:14,868 --> 00:08:17,122
I mean, look at how you're sitting.
202
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,816
Okay, in her defense,
203
00:08:18,941 --> 00:08:22,219
she's trying not to squish her balls.
204
00:08:22,344 --> 00:08:23,577
I... sorry.
205
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,653
So, we are practicing
for a game night rematch?
206
00:08:28,819 --> 00:08:30,571
Yes, that was embarrassing.
God.
207
00:08:30,737 --> 00:08:32,048
Roxanne and mark
are more in sync than we are,
208
00:08:32,173 --> 00:08:33,240
and we're the ones getting married.
209
00:08:33,406 --> 00:08:35,117
It's just a game.
Who cares?
210
00:08:35,283 --> 00:08:38,019
Uh, no. It shows that
we're on the same wavelength.
211
00:08:38,144 --> 00:08:39,487
And why wouldn't we be
on the same wavelength
212
00:08:39,612 --> 00:08:42,375
since we're spending the rest
of our lives together?
213
00:08:42,541 --> 00:08:44,625
Okay, ready?
214
00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,754
I feel a weird pressure about this.
215
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,198
Good. Ready?
First clue.
216
00:08:50,323 --> 00:08:52,533
Ah.
217
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:53,761
Relief.
218
00:08:53,927 --> 00:08:56,263
No, it's museum.
219
00:08:56,429 --> 00:08:58,849
How is that museum?
What is, "ah"?
220
00:08:59,015 --> 00:09:00,174
Appreciating the art.
221
00:09:00,299 --> 00:09:02,103
Okay, nobody
appreciates art that way.
222
00:09:02,269 --> 00:09:03,771
I would just nod.
Hmm.
223
00:09:03,937 --> 00:09:05,379
Okay, well if I heard,
"hmm," I'd think "judge,"
224
00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:07,149
so that's not a good clue.
225
00:09:07,315 --> 00:09:08,815
No, it's not.
They're both bad clues.
226
00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:10,736
Louvre is a clue for museum.
227
00:09:10,902 --> 00:09:12,947
Okay, shh.
228
00:09:14,579 --> 00:09:17,823
Peek-a-boo.
229
00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:19,578
- Baby.
- Not even close.
230
00:09:22,664 --> 00:09:24,834
So, the dinner clearly didn't help.
231
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,531
So, my friend Roxanne
told me that, well,
232
00:09:26,656 --> 00:09:28,300
that we should come here
and talk to you
233
00:09:28,425 --> 00:09:30,339
and get to the bottom of this,
so here we are.
234
00:09:30,505 --> 00:09:33,872
Well, you've been talking
with me for 27 minutes,
235
00:09:33,997 --> 00:09:35,640
which tells me volumes more
236
00:09:35,765 --> 00:09:37,739
than the actual words
that you've spoken.
237
00:09:37,864 --> 00:09:40,474
So, Alex. When she
talks to you, do you listen?
238
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:44,437
Yeah.
Yes.
239
00:09:44,603 --> 00:09:47,103
Well, what was
the last thing she said?
240
00:09:47,643 --> 00:09:49,859
"There's a parking spot."
241
00:09:50,025 --> 00:09:52,945
Alex, what... what do you
feel the problem is?
242
00:09:53,111 --> 00:09:56,866
Uh, Whitney's suddenly
interested in this douchebag.
243
00:09:57,032 --> 00:09:58,728
Mm-hmm, well, what I'm
hearing is that as I dig
244
00:09:58,853 --> 00:10:02,732
through the salad of words
for the crouton of truth
245
00:10:02,857 --> 00:10:06,460
that your emotional needs
are being met
246
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,339
by this fellow, Craig,
instead of by Alex.
247
00:10:09,464 --> 00:10:13,382
In fact, you're, pretty simply,
having an emotional affair.
248
00:10:13,548 --> 00:10:17,803
Emotional.
What a waste of an affair.
249
00:10:17,969 --> 00:10:20,920
I'm going to give you
some exercises to do at home
250
00:10:21,045 --> 00:10:22,951
and when you're
doing these exercises,
251
00:10:23,076 --> 00:10:25,654
they will restore your
intimacy and your communication.
252
00:10:25,779 --> 00:10:28,690
The only thing is, please,
while you're doing them,
253
00:10:28,815 --> 00:10:31,567
um, nothing sexual, because
that would spoil the intimacy.
254
00:10:31,917 --> 00:10:36,072
So, just start and begin
the first exercise, all right?
255
00:10:36,238 --> 00:10:38,032
It's designed to find out
256
00:10:38,198 --> 00:10:41,402
how comfortable you are
with each other's silences.
257
00:10:41,527 --> 00:10:43,237
So I'm just going to ask
you now, please,
258
00:10:43,362 --> 00:10:45,706
to embrace for one minute.
259
00:10:45,872 --> 00:10:48,667
And, uh, no talking.
Whitney.
260
00:10:54,105 --> 00:10:56,139
Embrace.
261
00:10:57,875 --> 00:10:59,929
Good.
262
00:11:00,095 --> 00:11:02,306
Just experience each other.
263
00:11:04,933 --> 00:11:07,895
Now, can you feel yourself
coming together?
264
00:11:08,061 --> 00:11:11,588
Oh, that almost never happens.
265
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,617
So... this is weird.
266
00:11:21,783 --> 00:11:25,538
Okay, so this is supposed
to make you feel vulnerable
267
00:11:25,704 --> 00:11:29,041
so you can receive my intimacy. Ugh.
268
00:11:29,207 --> 00:11:30,181
Why don't you just get in the tub
269
00:11:30,306 --> 00:11:32,920
- so you can receive my intimacy?
- Gross.
270
00:11:33,086 --> 00:11:34,018
We're not allowed to have sex anyway.
271
00:11:34,143 --> 00:11:35,172
It is one of the rules.
272
00:11:35,338 --> 00:11:37,967
No sex, no cell phones,
no TV, no computers.
273
00:11:38,133 --> 00:11:39,593
All right, well, whatever
it is, let's just do it.
274
00:11:39,759 --> 00:11:42,516
And we're going to need rope.
275
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,156
Do you always shed this much?
276
00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:53,263
Okay, so you have to wear
277
00:11:53,388 --> 00:11:54,531
these noise-canceling headphones
278
00:11:54,656 --> 00:11:56,600
to figure out how I'm feeling
279
00:11:56,725 --> 00:11:59,704
based on my body language.
280
00:11:59,829 --> 00:12:00,739
Okay.
You ready?
281
00:12:00,905 --> 00:12:01,866
I can't hear you.
282
00:12:02,824 --> 00:12:05,077
Can we keep these forever?
283
00:12:05,243 --> 00:12:06,620
Ooh, you're feeling angry.
284
00:12:06,786 --> 00:12:10,180
Okay, um, okay, I got it.
285
00:12:10,305 --> 00:12:11,514
I'm glad that the dry cleaner
286
00:12:11,639 --> 00:12:13,210
got a stain out of my favorite shirt.
287
00:12:13,376 --> 00:12:16,005
Uh-oh, somebody pissed you off.
288
00:12:16,171 --> 00:12:19,133
Okay, no, it's... it's
a good thing. It's... I'm glad.
289
00:12:19,299 --> 00:12:21,424
You feel that fashion magazines
290
00:12:21,549 --> 00:12:24,972
set unrealistic
expectations for women.
291
00:12:25,138 --> 00:12:27,349
No, I like it.
I... I love it.
292
00:12:27,515 --> 00:12:29,685
Oh, you're livid.
You're livid. What?
293
00:12:30,390 --> 00:12:32,438
Damn it, I'm happy, I'm happy.
294
00:12:32,604 --> 00:12:36,150
Oh, you're happy.
295
00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:40,070
Lil, do you think I'm like a man?
296
00:12:40,236 --> 00:12:43,032
What?
Where is this coming from?
297
00:12:43,198 --> 00:12:45,075
Mark says I'm like a dude.
298
00:12:45,241 --> 00:12:46,480
Well, you know, it depends.
299
00:12:46,605 --> 00:12:49,121
You are a beautiful female.
300
00:12:49,287 --> 00:12:51,185
Although, you do possess
what some might call,
301
00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:53,250
"a wonderfully
masculine strength," and...
302
00:12:53,416 --> 00:12:55,189
Oh, for God sakes,
Lily, don't overthink it.
303
00:12:55,314 --> 00:12:57,381
Just, do I act like a man?
304
00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:02,253
I like to have you near me
when I'm in crowds.
305
00:13:11,596 --> 00:13:13,529
All right, eye of the tiger.
306
00:13:13,978 --> 00:13:15,272
Let's do this, man.
307
00:13:15,438 --> 00:13:16,942
And go.
308
00:13:17,067 --> 00:13:18,108
Ringmaster.
309
00:13:18,274 --> 00:13:20,319
Hm, okay.
Well, you know what?
310
00:13:20,485 --> 00:13:21,947
I guess that depends, because are you
311
00:13:22,072 --> 00:13:24,650
talking about a guy who's
a master at making rings?
312
00:13:24,775 --> 00:13:27,510
- Or a guy who introduces clowns?
- Yeah, yeah.
313
00:13:28,036 --> 00:13:29,420
I'm going to go with Elijah wood.
314
00:13:30,078 --> 00:13:30,378
No.
315
00:13:30,503 --> 00:13:32,456
- And time.
- Ah!
316
00:13:32,622 --> 00:13:33,832
It was circus.
317
00:13:36,751 --> 00:13:41,256
Okay, are you ready,
focused, connected to me?
318
00:13:41,422 --> 00:13:42,883
I'm on your wavelength, hon.
319
00:13:44,008 --> 00:13:45,009
Go.
320
00:13:45,176 --> 00:13:46,136
- Ding.
- Elevator.
321
00:13:46,302 --> 00:13:47,680
- Yes. Harp.
- Massage.
322
00:13:47,846 --> 00:13:48,578
Oh, my God.
Reluctant.
323
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,099
- Warrior.
- Thunderstorm.
324
00:13:50,265 --> 00:13:51,074
- Candle.
- You get me!
325
00:13:51,199 --> 00:13:52,434
Oh!
326
00:13:55,645 --> 00:13:57,795
They're really good at this, huh?
327
00:13:59,474 --> 00:14:00,517
Babe, come on.
The whole thing here
328
00:14:00,642 --> 00:14:01,818
is you got to trust me.
329
00:14:01,985 --> 00:14:04,321
So, just listen to my voice
as I guide you across
330
00:14:04,446 --> 00:14:06,356
the obstacle course
I made you, all right?
331
00:14:06,481 --> 00:14:08,450
Take five steps straight forward.
332
00:14:12,495 --> 00:14:13,663
All right, either you don't trust me
333
00:14:13,788 --> 00:14:16,375
or you want this to last forever.
334
00:14:16,541 --> 00:14:19,241
All right, take a small step
to your right.
335
00:14:21,004 --> 00:14:21,903
Okay, we have bigger problems.
336
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,039
You don't know
your left from your right.
337
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,676
Okay, I thought you meant your right.
338
00:14:25,842 --> 00:14:28,243
You don't even know where I am.
339
00:14:34,434 --> 00:14:37,313
Whoa, who trained you,
and who is your target?
340
00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:41,522
It's Dr. Grant,
341
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:43,360
but we're not supposed
to answer the phone.
342
00:14:43,526 --> 00:14:45,279
Which means you shouldn't,
which means you're probably going to.
343
00:14:45,445 --> 00:14:46,446
Hello.
344
00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:48,562
Hello, this is Dr. Grant.
345
00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:49,908
If you're listening
to this automatic message,
346
00:14:50,074 --> 00:14:51,898
then you are not committing
to the exercises
347
00:14:52,023 --> 00:14:54,701
and you need to go back
and start from the beginning.
348
00:14:54,826 --> 00:14:58,542
And remember, no sex.
349
00:14:58,708 --> 00:14:59,773
Why did you have to pick it up?
350
00:14:59,898 --> 00:15:01,503
I do not want to be
washed like a dog again.
351
00:15:01,669 --> 00:15:04,631
Well, then maybe you should
stop jumping out of the tub.
352
00:15:07,258 --> 00:15:08,714
Okay, score recap.
353
00:15:08,839 --> 00:15:10,883
Team Marxanne, 8.
354
00:15:11,008 --> 00:15:14,176
Team wedding bells, 34.
What?
355
00:15:17,060 --> 00:15:18,520
What are you doing?
Why are you throwing this game?
356
00:15:18,686 --> 00:15:19,692
What? I'm not.
357
00:15:19,817 --> 00:15:21,774
I'm just trying to tap into
my feminine side.
358
00:15:21,940 --> 00:15:25,819
If I'm throwing this game,
I'm throwing it like a girl.
359
00:15:25,985 --> 00:15:27,164
Oh, come on.
360
00:15:27,289 --> 00:15:29,100
I didn't say you look like a dude,
361
00:15:29,225 --> 00:15:30,334
you just kind of act like one.
362
00:15:30,459 --> 00:15:32,117
Which is good.
Guys find that very sexy.
363
00:15:32,283 --> 00:15:33,772
- Oh. Oh, really?
- Yeah.
364
00:15:33,897 --> 00:15:35,329
It actually makes you
more attractive, not less.
365
00:15:35,495 --> 00:15:36,705
I meant it as a compliment.
366
00:15:36,871 --> 00:15:37,915
Doesn't that make you feel better?
367
00:15:38,081 --> 00:15:40,334
Kind of.
I mean,
368
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:43,614
it would mean more
if a man told me that.
369
00:15:43,739 --> 00:15:45,297
What's that supposed to mean?
370
00:15:45,463 --> 00:15:46,483
I just think you have a lot
371
00:15:46,608 --> 00:15:47,918
of feminine qualities, mark.
372
00:15:48,043 --> 00:15:50,487
You know, you journal, you self-tan.
373
00:15:50,612 --> 00:15:52,822
And I'm going to
go out on a limb here...
374
00:15:52,947 --> 00:15:55,265
I'm guessing you wash the gray out.
375
00:15:55,616 --> 00:15:58,477
It's called, "just for men."
376
00:15:58,643 --> 00:16:01,563
Good day, sir.
377
00:16:01,729 --> 00:16:04,567
All right, holes versus poles.
378
00:16:04,692 --> 00:16:07,603
Oh, um, mark.
Not to be all p.C. Here,
379
00:16:07,728 --> 00:16:10,531
but could you not call me a "hole."
380
00:16:12,065 --> 00:16:15,828
Oh, no.
We're the holes.
381
00:16:15,994 --> 00:16:18,847
I do see how that
could be confusing, though.
382
00:16:18,972 --> 00:16:20,839
Okay.
383
00:16:22,943 --> 00:16:25,796
Team meeting.
I need you to bring it.
384
00:16:25,962 --> 00:16:27,965
I cannot and I will not
lose to Roxanne.
385
00:16:28,131 --> 00:16:30,257
You got nothing to worry about.
386
00:16:30,382 --> 00:16:33,262
I memorized all the cards.
387
00:16:33,428 --> 00:16:34,721
What?
You're cheating?
388
00:16:34,887 --> 00:16:36,797
No, I am surviving.
389
00:16:36,922 --> 00:16:39,032
If we lose, I got to hear
all about our connection
390
00:16:39,157 --> 00:16:40,853
and how we don't
understand each other.
391
00:16:41,019 --> 00:16:42,658
Oh, yeah.
That is the worst.
392
00:16:43,649 --> 00:16:46,275
Hey, do you feel like I have
a lot of feminine qualities?
393
00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,073
Okay, this is a good one.
No props.
394
00:16:53,239 --> 00:16:55,047
Tell your lover a story that
you've never told them before
395
00:16:55,172 --> 00:16:57,382
to see each other in a new light.
396
00:16:57,507 --> 00:16:58,537
Your turn to go first.
397
00:16:58,703 --> 00:16:59,818
Okay, I got one.
398
00:16:59,943 --> 00:17:01,820
Uh, when I was in high school, uh,
399
00:17:01,945 --> 00:17:03,375
our bus broke down
and we got stuck in...
400
00:17:03,541 --> 00:17:05,961
You hooked up with that bald chick.
401
00:17:06,127 --> 00:17:10,996
She had peach fuzz, but anyway, um...
402
00:17:11,121 --> 00:17:13,430
Okay, um, I got another one.
403
00:17:13,555 --> 00:17:15,929
In my sophomore year in college,
404
00:17:16,095 --> 00:17:17,681
I actually got arrested,
and what happened was...
405
00:17:17,847 --> 00:17:19,103
You stole the Bob
off the Bob's big boy,
406
00:17:19,228 --> 00:17:20,476
and you threw it off the library.
407
00:17:20,642 --> 00:17:22,311
Damn it.
408
00:17:22,477 --> 00:17:25,189
It's okay, it's fine.
Okay, just do another one.
409
00:17:25,355 --> 00:17:26,644
Okay. Oh, I got a good one.
410
00:17:26,769 --> 00:17:28,150
Did I tell you about
the time I met Lou Reed?
411
00:17:28,316 --> 00:17:30,714
You met Lou Reed?
412
00:17:30,839 --> 00:17:35,199
Oh, my God.
That's crazy, what happened?
413
00:17:35,365 --> 00:17:37,086
You know what?
You're mocking me, all right?
414
00:17:37,211 --> 00:17:38,889
What... what are you doing?
This is pointless.
415
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,370
This whole thing is pointless.
416
00:17:40,536 --> 00:17:42,414
I guess I ran out of stories.
417
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:43,827
Okay, Alex, it's not a big deal.
418
00:17:43,952 --> 00:17:45,042
This doesn't mean anything.
419
00:17:45,208 --> 00:17:46,595
No, this whole thing
is stupid, all right?
420
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:47,997
Why don't we just
move on to the next one
421
00:17:48,122 --> 00:17:49,796
and cover our naked bodies
in hot fudge.
422
00:17:49,962 --> 00:17:51,667
Okay, okay, no.
Just put your shirt on,
423
00:17:51,792 --> 00:17:53,926
let's just talk about this, okay?
424
00:17:54,092 --> 00:17:56,053
What are you so upset about?
425
00:17:56,219 --> 00:17:58,040
I'm not upset.
I'm just thinking that fudge
426
00:17:58,165 --> 00:18:02,510
will make one thing
about me interesting to you.
427
00:18:02,635 --> 00:18:03,852
Alex.
428
00:18:04,018 --> 00:18:05,896
Look, a long time ago,
when we first started dating,
429
00:18:06,062 --> 00:18:07,481
you said that if we ever got bored
430
00:18:07,606 --> 00:18:09,817
to just put a bullet in
the relationship and move on.
431
00:18:09,942 --> 00:18:11,118
Well, you know what?
I'm worried.
432
00:18:11,243 --> 00:18:13,403
I'm worried that you've gotten bored.
433
00:18:13,569 --> 00:18:16,357
Oh, my God.
434
00:18:16,482 --> 00:18:19,493
I'm not bored.
435
00:18:19,659 --> 00:18:20,694
Really?
436
00:18:20,819 --> 00:18:22,095
Because for the first time
in three years,
437
00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:24,364
I feel like somebody's
more interesting than I am.
438
00:18:24,489 --> 00:18:26,433
I mean, I never made
a website for any president
439
00:18:26,558 --> 00:18:27,601
or anything like that.
440
00:18:27,726 --> 00:18:31,171
I mean, I totally could,
I'm smart enough.
441
00:18:31,337 --> 00:18:34,239
Look, I did say that,
but that was three years ago.
442
00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:37,242
I had never been in
a real relationship before.
443
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,811
I didn't know
what I was talking about.
444
00:18:38,936 --> 00:18:41,037
Three years ago I wore
cut-off Jean shorts
445
00:18:41,305 --> 00:18:43,642
with tights underneath.
446
00:18:43,808 --> 00:18:45,851
Man, never has such an easy girl
447
00:18:45,976 --> 00:18:49,690
been so hard to have sex with.
448
00:18:49,856 --> 00:18:52,023
Look, I'm not jealous
of Craig, all right?
449
00:18:52,148 --> 00:18:54,759
I mean, I wish him well.
450
00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:57,696
Him and his imaginary girlfriend.
451
00:18:57,821 --> 00:19:00,398
Look, from now on, I will share
452
00:19:00,523 --> 00:19:01,833
everything with you, okay?
453
00:19:01,958 --> 00:19:04,663
Even if I'm at work.
Everything.
454
00:19:04,829 --> 00:19:08,083
All right.
Well, that backfired.
455
00:19:14,136 --> 00:19:17,147
You know, we kind of
got through our exercises,
456
00:19:17,272 --> 00:19:20,345
so, uh, want to go
celebrate with some tub sex?
457
00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:25,955
That sounds cold.
458
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:30,314
And like there would be
a lot of apologizing.
459
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:32,941
Yeah, you're probably right.
460
00:19:33,107 --> 00:19:35,110
You know what would be even hotter?
461
00:19:35,276 --> 00:19:36,599
I think I do.
462
00:19:36,724 --> 00:19:39,034
Uh, you thinking what I'm thinking?
463
00:19:39,159 --> 00:19:43,702
Boring sex in our boring bed.
464
00:19:43,868 --> 00:19:47,643
Do I get to keep my shirt on?
465
00:19:47,768 --> 00:19:50,375
I'm going to go pee.
466
00:19:58,287 --> 00:20:00,594
So... we all of the exercises,
467
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:04,348
and we are all good now,
thanks to you, so thank you.
468
00:20:04,514 --> 00:20:06,040
Good.
Well, what I'm hearing,
469
00:20:06,165 --> 00:20:08,575
as I dig through the salad
of words in search of
470
00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:10,209
the crouton of truth,
471
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,045
is that you would benefit
472
00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,914
from a series of exercises
from my best-selling book,
473
00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:16,943
refresh your love.
474
00:20:17,109 --> 00:20:19,452
But doc, you already assigned
us the exercises... we did them.
475
00:20:19,577 --> 00:20:23,075
We're, uh... our love is refreshed.
476
00:20:23,241 --> 00:20:26,453
Well, don't worry,
because we can fix that.
477
00:20:26,619 --> 00:20:29,039
No, we don't need fixing.
478
00:20:29,205 --> 00:20:31,897
So, moving on to the second
series of exercises
479
00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,966
outlined in my book,
refresh your love...
480
00:20:34,091 --> 00:20:37,402
No, look, Whit,
I think you and the doctor
481
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:39,049
are having a communication breakdown.
482
00:20:39,215 --> 00:20:40,133
What?
483
00:20:40,299 --> 00:20:41,540
You're right.
484
00:20:41,665 --> 00:20:43,207
And I know exactly
how to deal with this.
485
00:20:43,332 --> 00:20:45,722
Alex, time us.
60-second embrace.
486
00:20:45,888 --> 00:20:49,559
No talking.
Bring it in, come on.
487
00:20:49,725 --> 00:20:51,706
Okay.
Ahh.
488
00:20:51,831 --> 00:20:56,400
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