All language subtitles for Whitney s01e14 Mind Games.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,288 --> 00:00:05,797 Hi. 2 00:00:05,963 --> 00:00:06,931 Hi, babe. 3 00:00:07,056 --> 00:00:09,384 Hey, we went ahead and ate without you. 4 00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:11,235 Oh, sorry, after work I got dinner with Craig 5 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,347 and they had karaoke, so I did a couple songs. 6 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,808 I went hard at lady antebellum 7 00:00:16,974 --> 00:00:19,644 and bombed. 8 00:00:21,037 --> 00:00:22,731 Oh, that's weird. Oh, that's Craig. 9 00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:25,067 - Weren't you just with Craig? - Yeah, he's such an idiot. 10 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:26,817 What? 11 00:00:26,942 --> 00:00:30,587 Okay, why do you want to know my shoe size, you psycho? 12 00:00:30,712 --> 00:00:31,573 I'm a 10. 13 00:00:32,047 --> 00:00:33,367 Okay, that myth is not true, 14 00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:37,537 because I actually have a very small penis. 15 00:00:37,703 --> 00:00:39,122 Good-bye. Pfft. 16 00:00:42,166 --> 00:00:44,169 What? Craig was buying me insoles. 17 00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:46,088 This Craig guy's buying you insoles? 18 00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:47,670 Yeah, my feet are killing me. 19 00:00:47,795 --> 00:00:49,405 High heels are evil. Whoever invented these things 20 00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:51,240 were trying to make women easier to catch 21 00:00:51,365 --> 00:00:54,638 and drag back to their caves. 22 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,390 He said he was in the drugstore and he thought of me. 23 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,880 Okay, you don't think about a girl at the drugstore 24 00:00:59,005 --> 00:01:00,548 unless you're sleeping with her 25 00:01:00,673 --> 00:01:05,440 or you have an unfortunate souvenir from sleeping with her. 26 00:01:05,606 --> 00:01:07,355 This guy knows you have a boyfriend, right? 27 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:11,780 One that looks, and may possibly be, tough. 28 00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:13,740 What are you guys implying? 29 00:01:13,906 --> 00:01:18,286 That Craig's interest in you doesn't stop at your feet. 30 00:01:18,452 --> 00:01:21,468 It travels due north from there. 31 00:01:21,593 --> 00:01:23,704 And then it goes slightly South. 32 00:01:23,829 --> 00:01:25,939 And then it goes back up north. 33 00:01:26,064 --> 00:01:28,005 And then it goes east-west, east-west, east-west. 34 00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:30,877 - Okay, we get it. - Mark. 35 00:01:31,002 --> 00:01:32,259 Sorry. 36 00:01:32,425 --> 00:01:34,886 Craig and I just work together. 37 00:01:35,052 --> 00:01:36,950 Yeah, but you don't just work together, you know. 38 00:01:37,075 --> 00:01:39,252 He gets you stuff, he calls you after work, 39 00:01:39,377 --> 00:01:40,987 you guys do karaoke. 40 00:01:41,112 --> 00:01:42,487 It seems like if it were switched, 41 00:01:42,612 --> 00:01:44,229 I'd be in a lot of trouble. 42 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:46,091 Okay, you're being insane. 43 00:01:46,216 --> 00:01:48,024 Craig and I are just friends. 44 00:01:48,190 --> 00:01:49,985 Yeah, what's this friend look like? 45 00:01:50,151 --> 00:01:51,630 I will show you. 46 00:01:51,755 --> 00:01:56,034 And you will see that Craig is just Craig. 47 00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:59,286 You have a picture of this guy in your phone? 48 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,172 Okay, he was wearing a boat-neck sweater, 49 00:02:01,297 --> 00:02:04,374 what was I, not going to take a picture? 50 00:02:04,540 --> 00:02:06,944 Glasses. Smart guy. They're the worst. 51 00:02:07,069 --> 00:02:09,013 They can't get in your pants, so they get in your brain 52 00:02:09,138 --> 00:02:11,849 and they work their way South. 53 00:02:11,974 --> 00:02:14,342 And then they go back up north. 54 00:02:14,508 --> 00:02:16,119 And then they go east and west and east and west. 55 00:02:16,244 --> 00:02:17,471 Mark. 56 00:02:17,637 --> 00:02:20,257 This is ridiculous. There is nothing going on. 57 00:02:20,382 --> 00:02:22,692 Craig has a girlfriend named Marcine 58 00:02:22,817 --> 00:02:23,894 who he's been with forever. 59 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,479 "Marcine"? 60 00:02:28,856 --> 00:02:30,232 Yes. 61 00:02:30,399 --> 00:02:32,234 I mean, that's obviously a name you make up 62 00:02:32,359 --> 00:02:34,870 when you're lying. 63 00:02:34,995 --> 00:02:36,448 Alex, seriously? 64 00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:37,991 Seriously. 65 00:02:38,157 --> 00:02:39,641 The weirdest part is you and Craig 66 00:02:39,766 --> 00:02:41,376 would totally love each other. 67 00:02:41,501 --> 00:02:43,012 You know what? Let's do a dinner, 68 00:02:43,137 --> 00:02:45,540 you, me, Craig, and Marcine. 69 00:02:45,706 --> 00:02:48,794 No, I do not want to do a dinner. 70 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,453 It'll get you out of game night with Lily and Neal. 71 00:02:52,578 --> 00:02:54,841 Okay, I'll do a dinner. 72 00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:55,990 Whitney is taped 73 00:02:56,115 --> 00:02:59,217 in front of a live studio audience, so... 74 00:03:04,089 --> 00:03:05,432 What is it about couples after they've 75 00:03:05,557 --> 00:03:06,853 been together for a year? 76 00:03:07,019 --> 00:03:11,107 Their need to host game nights becomes all-consuming. 77 00:03:11,273 --> 00:03:13,276 Don't chat me up. We're not on the same team. 78 00:03:13,442 --> 00:03:14,069 Well, how do you know? 79 00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:16,404 Because we're going to play holes versus poles. 80 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:21,576 I want to win, and I cannot win with a woman. 81 00:03:21,742 --> 00:03:23,282 Well, that might have more to do with 82 00:03:23,407 --> 00:03:26,373 your use of phrases, like, "holes versus poles." 83 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:27,553 Think about it. 84 00:03:27,678 --> 00:03:29,042 Have you ever seen a woman win jeopardy!? 85 00:03:29,208 --> 00:03:30,836 Yes, I have. 86 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,326 I'm not saying that women are dumb. 87 00:03:33,451 --> 00:03:34,893 I'm saying they're too smart. 88 00:03:35,018 --> 00:03:37,362 They overthink everything. Largest animal? 89 00:03:37,487 --> 00:03:39,264 "Um, that depends. Are we talking land or water? 90 00:03:39,389 --> 00:03:40,398 Height or weight?" 91 00:03:40,523 --> 00:03:41,766 Eeeh! 92 00:03:41,891 --> 00:03:43,598 Time's up. Blue whale... boom. 93 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,852 Okay, Neal and I are engaged, we're a team. 94 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,645 No. 95 00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,814 Mark, you are comfortably in your '30s. 96 00:03:53,149 --> 00:03:53,984 Skooch, skooch. 97 00:03:57,486 --> 00:04:00,991 Just don't slow me down with your Slovaries. 98 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:03,869 - And go. - Candy. 99 00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:05,678 - Uh, cane. - Yes. 100 00:04:05,803 --> 00:04:07,023 - March. - Madness. 101 00:04:07,148 --> 00:04:08,123 Yes. Pig. 102 00:04:08,289 --> 00:04:09,767 - Skin. - Got it. 103 00:04:09,892 --> 00:04:11,126 - Spike. - TV. 104 00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:14,296 Yeah! That's how it's done. 105 00:04:15,671 --> 00:04:17,757 Our work's cut out for us, partner. 106 00:04:17,923 --> 00:04:19,801 Yeah. I'm not worried at all, partner. 107 00:04:19,967 --> 00:04:21,887 - Nope. - All right. 108 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,054 Go. 109 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,611 Oak. 110 00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:32,522 Tree. 111 00:04:33,418 --> 00:04:37,944 Nope. Uh, place. 112 00:04:39,478 --> 00:04:41,615 Forest. 113 00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:46,794 Baseball. 114 00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:47,829 Bat. 115 00:04:47,995 --> 00:04:48,955 No. 116 00:04:49,121 --> 00:04:50,582 Come on, Neal. You're all over the map, here. 117 00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,400 Okay, let's not panic. 118 00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:53,585 Central. 119 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:54,961 Cent... well, now you're just sayings words. 120 00:04:55,127 --> 00:04:56,296 That's what this game is. 121 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:57,756 - And that's time. - Ah. 122 00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:00,175 On her yogurt! 123 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,968 How many times are you going write your name on yogurt? 124 00:05:02,134 --> 00:05:04,077 I know! 125 00:05:04,202 --> 00:05:07,013 So, uh, it's so weird that you guys have never met before, 126 00:05:07,138 --> 00:05:09,059 because you guys both come here all the time. 127 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,917 Oh, Marcine and I love this place. 128 00:05:12,042 --> 00:05:16,021 Oh, and by the way, I'm so sorry that she couldn't make it. 129 00:05:16,146 --> 00:05:17,722 Yeah, me too, you know, and then 130 00:05:17,847 --> 00:05:19,491 when you showed up and you said she was sick, 131 00:05:19,616 --> 00:05:22,118 I was like, "no." 132 00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:26,031 You know, you guys both created websites. 133 00:05:26,156 --> 00:05:27,410 Before Craig was at the magazine, 134 00:05:27,576 --> 00:05:29,913 he had a website too, so tell him about yours. 135 00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:32,207 Oh, yeah. I have a video sharing website. 136 00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:33,839 Oh, that's so cool. 137 00:05:33,964 --> 00:05:37,909 Oh, I just built one for Obama, because he's a friend. 138 00:05:38,034 --> 00:05:41,383 Brendan Fraser slept with my ex-girlfriend. 139 00:05:43,572 --> 00:05:45,349 Um, you guys both also play guitar. 140 00:05:45,474 --> 00:05:46,638 Don't you play guitar? 141 00:05:46,804 --> 00:05:49,391 Oh, yeah, that... That was years ago in school. 142 00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:50,600 Well, I was just self-taught. 143 00:05:50,766 --> 00:05:52,389 Oh, that... that sounds fun. 144 00:05:52,514 --> 00:05:56,106 Because Juilliard was a real grind. 145 00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:57,983 Oh, by the way, how is your dad feeling? 146 00:05:58,149 --> 00:05:59,526 Oh, he's so much better, thank you. 147 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:00,986 Whoa, what happened with your dad? 148 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,431 Oh, he had to go to the emergency room, 149 00:06:02,556 --> 00:06:04,281 but it turns out it was just heartburn. 150 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:06,268 When? Why didn't you tell me? 151 00:06:06,393 --> 00:06:07,951 I told you, it was yesterday. Didn't I tell you? 152 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:10,203 No, you didn't tell me. 153 00:06:10,369 --> 00:06:12,876 Oh, it's just that my dad's been feeling sick too. 154 00:06:13,001 --> 00:06:14,210 Oh. 155 00:06:14,335 --> 00:06:17,085 My mom's going through menopause. 156 00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:23,591 So, we're just kind of taking it day by day. 157 00:06:24,845 --> 00:06:28,555 Got the seafood tower for two... 158 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,425 And the personal pizza. 159 00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:31,558 Thanks. 160 00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:35,195 - That looks good. - Yeah. 161 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:36,521 I never get to order this. 162 00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:37,939 Marcine hates shellfish. 163 00:06:38,105 --> 00:06:39,557 Uh, so does Alex. 164 00:06:39,682 --> 00:06:41,035 Uh, Whitney can I give you crabs? 165 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,445 Too late! 166 00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:44,772 Ha ha ha ha. Awesome, wow. 167 00:06:44,897 --> 00:06:48,366 An std joke about my girlfriend. 168 00:06:50,966 --> 00:06:52,495 Alex is jealous of Craig? 169 00:06:53,627 --> 00:06:55,471 Are you talking about Craig from work 170 00:06:55,596 --> 00:06:58,043 or Daniel Craig? 171 00:06:58,209 --> 00:07:00,443 It's so weird. And Alex is never jealous. 172 00:07:00,568 --> 00:07:01,744 I'm the jealous one. 173 00:07:01,869 --> 00:07:06,217 I mean, now I know how annoying it is to date me. 174 00:07:06,383 --> 00:07:08,717 This must be about something else. 175 00:07:08,842 --> 00:07:10,652 My advice, get ahead of this, 176 00:07:10,777 --> 00:07:12,019 because it will only get worse. 177 00:07:12,144 --> 00:07:14,225 You're going to need to dig deep and do the hard work. 178 00:07:14,391 --> 00:07:18,605 Ugh... Sex in the morning? 179 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:21,127 No, I was talking about couples therapy. 180 00:07:21,252 --> 00:07:24,865 My friends went to this guy, saved the relationship. 181 00:07:24,990 --> 00:07:27,155 He was totally on her side. 182 00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:29,236 Good, because I'm not going to therapy 183 00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:30,784 unless I know I can win. 184 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:34,913 Hey, partner. Nice win last night. 185 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:36,743 Now do you see how idiotic your theory is 186 00:07:36,868 --> 00:07:38,833 about women playing games? 187 00:07:38,999 --> 00:07:40,646 It can't possibly be as idiotic as his theory 188 00:07:40,771 --> 00:07:42,749 about how women can't be lactose intolerant 189 00:07:42,874 --> 00:07:46,352 because they produce breast milk. 190 00:07:46,477 --> 00:07:51,380 What? You can dish it out, but you can't take it? 191 00:07:53,316 --> 00:07:56,027 And it's more than a theory, ladypants. 192 00:07:56,152 --> 00:07:58,329 It's precisely why we won. 193 00:07:58,454 --> 00:08:00,231 Because Roxanne may look like all woman, 194 00:08:00,356 --> 00:08:02,066 but she thinks like a dude. 195 00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:03,650 What? Excuse me? 196 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:05,404 I said Jedi, you said knight. 197 00:08:05,529 --> 00:08:07,104 I said rose, you said bowl. 198 00:08:07,229 --> 00:08:10,198 - You're like 90% dude. - I am not. 199 00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:11,741 You're drinking straight vodka. 200 00:08:11,907 --> 00:08:14,702 You eat ribs like a Wolverine. 201 00:08:14,868 --> 00:08:17,122 I mean, look at how you're sitting. 202 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,816 Okay, in her defense, 203 00:08:18,941 --> 00:08:22,219 she's trying not to squish her balls. 204 00:08:22,344 --> 00:08:23,577 I... sorry. 205 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,653 So, we are practicing for a game night rematch? 206 00:08:28,819 --> 00:08:30,571 Yes, that was embarrassing. God. 207 00:08:30,737 --> 00:08:32,048 Roxanne and mark are more in sync than we are, 208 00:08:32,173 --> 00:08:33,240 and we're the ones getting married. 209 00:08:33,406 --> 00:08:35,117 It's just a game. Who cares? 210 00:08:35,283 --> 00:08:38,019 Uh, no. It shows that we're on the same wavelength. 211 00:08:38,144 --> 00:08:39,487 And why wouldn't we be on the same wavelength 212 00:08:39,612 --> 00:08:42,375 since we're spending the rest of our lives together? 213 00:08:42,541 --> 00:08:44,625 Okay, ready? 214 00:08:44,750 --> 00:08:46,754 I feel a weird pressure about this. 215 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:50,198 Good. Ready? First clue. 216 00:08:50,323 --> 00:08:52,533 Ah. 217 00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:53,761 Relief. 218 00:08:53,927 --> 00:08:56,263 No, it's museum. 219 00:08:56,429 --> 00:08:58,849 How is that museum? What is, "ah"? 220 00:08:59,015 --> 00:09:00,174 Appreciating the art. 221 00:09:00,299 --> 00:09:02,103 Okay, nobody appreciates art that way. 222 00:09:02,269 --> 00:09:03,771 I would just nod. Hmm. 223 00:09:03,937 --> 00:09:05,379 Okay, well if I heard, "hmm," I'd think "judge," 224 00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:07,149 so that's not a good clue. 225 00:09:07,315 --> 00:09:08,815 No, it's not. They're both bad clues. 226 00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:10,736 Louvre is a clue for museum. 227 00:09:10,902 --> 00:09:12,947 Okay, shh. 228 00:09:14,579 --> 00:09:17,823 Peek-a-boo. 229 00:09:17,948 --> 00:09:19,578 - Baby. - Not even close. 230 00:09:22,664 --> 00:09:24,834 So, the dinner clearly didn't help. 231 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,531 So, my friend Roxanne told me that, well, 232 00:09:26,656 --> 00:09:28,300 that we should come here and talk to you 233 00:09:28,425 --> 00:09:30,339 and get to the bottom of this, so here we are. 234 00:09:30,505 --> 00:09:33,872 Well, you've been talking with me for 27 minutes, 235 00:09:33,997 --> 00:09:35,640 which tells me volumes more 236 00:09:35,765 --> 00:09:37,739 than the actual words that you've spoken. 237 00:09:37,864 --> 00:09:40,474 So, Alex. When she talks to you, do you listen? 238 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:44,437 Yeah. Yes. 239 00:09:44,603 --> 00:09:47,103 Well, what was the last thing she said? 240 00:09:47,643 --> 00:09:49,859 "There's a parking spot." 241 00:09:50,025 --> 00:09:52,945 Alex, what... what do you feel the problem is? 242 00:09:53,111 --> 00:09:56,866 Uh, Whitney's suddenly interested in this douchebag. 243 00:09:57,032 --> 00:09:58,728 Mm-hmm, well, what I'm hearing is that as I dig 244 00:09:58,853 --> 00:10:02,732 through the salad of words for the crouton of truth 245 00:10:02,857 --> 00:10:06,460 that your emotional needs are being met 246 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,339 by this fellow, Craig, instead of by Alex. 247 00:10:09,464 --> 00:10:13,382 In fact, you're, pretty simply, having an emotional affair. 248 00:10:13,548 --> 00:10:17,803 Emotional. What a waste of an affair. 249 00:10:17,969 --> 00:10:20,920 I'm going to give you some exercises to do at home 250 00:10:21,045 --> 00:10:22,951 and when you're doing these exercises, 251 00:10:23,076 --> 00:10:25,654 they will restore your intimacy and your communication. 252 00:10:25,779 --> 00:10:28,690 The only thing is, please, while you're doing them, 253 00:10:28,815 --> 00:10:31,567 um, nothing sexual, because that would spoil the intimacy. 254 00:10:31,917 --> 00:10:36,072 So, just start and begin the first exercise, all right? 255 00:10:36,238 --> 00:10:38,032 It's designed to find out 256 00:10:38,198 --> 00:10:41,402 how comfortable you are with each other's silences. 257 00:10:41,527 --> 00:10:43,237 So I'm just going to ask you now, please, 258 00:10:43,362 --> 00:10:45,706 to embrace for one minute. 259 00:10:45,872 --> 00:10:48,667 And, uh, no talking. Whitney. 260 00:10:54,105 --> 00:10:56,139 Embrace. 261 00:10:57,875 --> 00:10:59,929 Good. 262 00:11:00,095 --> 00:11:02,306 Just experience each other. 263 00:11:04,933 --> 00:11:07,895 Now, can you feel yourself coming together? 264 00:11:08,061 --> 00:11:11,588 Oh, that almost never happens. 265 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,617 So... this is weird. 266 00:11:21,783 --> 00:11:25,538 Okay, so this is supposed to make you feel vulnerable 267 00:11:25,704 --> 00:11:29,041 so you can receive my intimacy. Ugh. 268 00:11:29,207 --> 00:11:30,181 Why don't you just get in the tub 269 00:11:30,306 --> 00:11:32,920 - so you can receive my intimacy? - Gross. 270 00:11:33,086 --> 00:11:34,018 We're not allowed to have sex anyway. 271 00:11:34,143 --> 00:11:35,172 It is one of the rules. 272 00:11:35,338 --> 00:11:37,967 No sex, no cell phones, no TV, no computers. 273 00:11:38,133 --> 00:11:39,593 All right, well, whatever it is, let's just do it. 274 00:11:39,759 --> 00:11:42,516 And we're going to need rope. 275 00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,156 Do you always shed this much? 276 00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:53,263 Okay, so you have to wear 277 00:11:53,388 --> 00:11:54,531 these noise-canceling headphones 278 00:11:54,656 --> 00:11:56,600 to figure out how I'm feeling 279 00:11:56,725 --> 00:11:59,704 based on my body language. 280 00:11:59,829 --> 00:12:00,739 Okay. You ready? 281 00:12:00,905 --> 00:12:01,866 I can't hear you. 282 00:12:02,824 --> 00:12:05,077 Can we keep these forever? 283 00:12:05,243 --> 00:12:06,620 Ooh, you're feeling angry. 284 00:12:06,786 --> 00:12:10,180 Okay, um, okay, I got it. 285 00:12:10,305 --> 00:12:11,514 I'm glad that the dry cleaner 286 00:12:11,639 --> 00:12:13,210 got a stain out of my favorite shirt. 287 00:12:13,376 --> 00:12:16,005 Uh-oh, somebody pissed you off. 288 00:12:16,171 --> 00:12:19,133 Okay, no, it's... it's a good thing. It's... I'm glad. 289 00:12:19,299 --> 00:12:21,424 You feel that fashion magazines 290 00:12:21,549 --> 00:12:24,972 set unrealistic expectations for women. 291 00:12:25,138 --> 00:12:27,349 No, I like it. I... I love it. 292 00:12:27,515 --> 00:12:29,685 Oh, you're livid. You're livid. What? 293 00:12:30,390 --> 00:12:32,438 Damn it, I'm happy, I'm happy. 294 00:12:32,604 --> 00:12:36,150 Oh, you're happy. 295 00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:40,070 Lil, do you think I'm like a man? 296 00:12:40,236 --> 00:12:43,032 What? Where is this coming from? 297 00:12:43,198 --> 00:12:45,075 Mark says I'm like a dude. 298 00:12:45,241 --> 00:12:46,480 Well, you know, it depends. 299 00:12:46,605 --> 00:12:49,121 You are a beautiful female. 300 00:12:49,287 --> 00:12:51,185 Although, you do possess what some might call, 301 00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:53,250 "a wonderfully masculine strength," and... 302 00:12:53,416 --> 00:12:55,189 Oh, for God sakes, Lily, don't overthink it. 303 00:12:55,314 --> 00:12:57,381 Just, do I act like a man? 304 00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:02,253 I like to have you near me when I'm in crowds. 305 00:13:11,596 --> 00:13:13,529 All right, eye of the tiger. 306 00:13:13,978 --> 00:13:15,272 Let's do this, man. 307 00:13:15,438 --> 00:13:16,942 And go. 308 00:13:17,067 --> 00:13:18,108 Ringmaster. 309 00:13:18,274 --> 00:13:20,319 Hm, okay. Well, you know what? 310 00:13:20,485 --> 00:13:21,947 I guess that depends, because are you 311 00:13:22,072 --> 00:13:24,650 talking about a guy who's a master at making rings? 312 00:13:24,775 --> 00:13:27,510 - Or a guy who introduces clowns? - Yeah, yeah. 313 00:13:28,036 --> 00:13:29,420 I'm going to go with Elijah wood. 314 00:13:30,078 --> 00:13:30,378 No. 315 00:13:30,503 --> 00:13:32,456 - And time. - Ah! 316 00:13:32,622 --> 00:13:33,832 It was circus. 317 00:13:36,751 --> 00:13:41,256 Okay, are you ready, focused, connected to me? 318 00:13:41,422 --> 00:13:42,883 I'm on your wavelength, hon. 319 00:13:44,008 --> 00:13:45,009 Go. 320 00:13:45,176 --> 00:13:46,136 - Ding. - Elevator. 321 00:13:46,302 --> 00:13:47,680 - Yes. Harp. - Massage. 322 00:13:47,846 --> 00:13:48,578 Oh, my God. Reluctant. 323 00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,099 - Warrior. - Thunderstorm. 324 00:13:50,265 --> 00:13:51,074 - Candle. - You get me! 325 00:13:51,199 --> 00:13:52,434 Oh! 326 00:13:55,645 --> 00:13:57,795 They're really good at this, huh? 327 00:13:59,474 --> 00:14:00,517 Babe, come on. The whole thing here 328 00:14:00,642 --> 00:14:01,818 is you got to trust me. 329 00:14:01,985 --> 00:14:04,321 So, just listen to my voice as I guide you across 330 00:14:04,446 --> 00:14:06,356 the obstacle course I made you, all right? 331 00:14:06,481 --> 00:14:08,450 Take five steps straight forward. 332 00:14:12,495 --> 00:14:13,663 All right, either you don't trust me 333 00:14:13,788 --> 00:14:16,375 or you want this to last forever. 334 00:14:16,541 --> 00:14:19,241 All right, take a small step to your right. 335 00:14:21,004 --> 00:14:21,903 Okay, we have bigger problems. 336 00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,039 You don't know your left from your right. 337 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:25,676 Okay, I thought you meant your right. 338 00:14:25,842 --> 00:14:28,243 You don't even know where I am. 339 00:14:34,434 --> 00:14:37,313 Whoa, who trained you, and who is your target? 340 00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:41,522 It's Dr. Grant, 341 00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:43,360 but we're not supposed to answer the phone. 342 00:14:43,526 --> 00:14:45,279 Which means you shouldn't, which means you're probably going to. 343 00:14:45,445 --> 00:14:46,446 Hello. 344 00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:48,562 Hello, this is Dr. Grant. 345 00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:49,908 If you're listening to this automatic message, 346 00:14:50,074 --> 00:14:51,898 then you are not committing to the exercises 347 00:14:52,023 --> 00:14:54,701 and you need to go back and start from the beginning. 348 00:14:54,826 --> 00:14:58,542 And remember, no sex. 349 00:14:58,708 --> 00:14:59,773 Why did you have to pick it up? 350 00:14:59,898 --> 00:15:01,503 I do not want to be washed like a dog again. 351 00:15:01,669 --> 00:15:04,631 Well, then maybe you should stop jumping out of the tub. 352 00:15:07,258 --> 00:15:08,714 Okay, score recap. 353 00:15:08,839 --> 00:15:10,883 Team Marxanne, 8. 354 00:15:11,008 --> 00:15:14,176 Team wedding bells, 34. What? 355 00:15:17,060 --> 00:15:18,520 What are you doing? Why are you throwing this game? 356 00:15:18,686 --> 00:15:19,692 What? I'm not. 357 00:15:19,817 --> 00:15:21,774 I'm just trying to tap into my feminine side. 358 00:15:21,940 --> 00:15:25,819 If I'm throwing this game, I'm throwing it like a girl. 359 00:15:25,985 --> 00:15:27,164 Oh, come on. 360 00:15:27,289 --> 00:15:29,100 I didn't say you look like a dude, 361 00:15:29,225 --> 00:15:30,334 you just kind of act like one. 362 00:15:30,459 --> 00:15:32,117 Which is good. Guys find that very sexy. 363 00:15:32,283 --> 00:15:33,772 - Oh. Oh, really? - Yeah. 364 00:15:33,897 --> 00:15:35,329 It actually makes you more attractive, not less. 365 00:15:35,495 --> 00:15:36,705 I meant it as a compliment. 366 00:15:36,871 --> 00:15:37,915 Doesn't that make you feel better? 367 00:15:38,081 --> 00:15:40,334 Kind of. I mean, 368 00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:43,614 it would mean more if a man told me that. 369 00:15:43,739 --> 00:15:45,297 What's that supposed to mean? 370 00:15:45,463 --> 00:15:46,483 I just think you have a lot 371 00:15:46,608 --> 00:15:47,918 of feminine qualities, mark. 372 00:15:48,043 --> 00:15:50,487 You know, you journal, you self-tan. 373 00:15:50,612 --> 00:15:52,822 And I'm going to go out on a limb here... 374 00:15:52,947 --> 00:15:55,265 I'm guessing you wash the gray out. 375 00:15:55,616 --> 00:15:58,477 It's called, "just for men." 376 00:15:58,643 --> 00:16:01,563 Good day, sir. 377 00:16:01,729 --> 00:16:04,567 All right, holes versus poles. 378 00:16:04,692 --> 00:16:07,603 Oh, um, mark. Not to be all p.C. Here, 379 00:16:07,728 --> 00:16:10,531 but could you not call me a "hole." 380 00:16:12,065 --> 00:16:15,828 Oh, no. We're the holes. 381 00:16:15,994 --> 00:16:18,847 I do see how that could be confusing, though. 382 00:16:18,972 --> 00:16:20,839 Okay. 383 00:16:22,943 --> 00:16:25,796 Team meeting. I need you to bring it. 384 00:16:25,962 --> 00:16:27,965 I cannot and I will not lose to Roxanne. 385 00:16:28,131 --> 00:16:30,257 You got nothing to worry about. 386 00:16:30,382 --> 00:16:33,262 I memorized all the cards. 387 00:16:33,428 --> 00:16:34,721 What? You're cheating? 388 00:16:34,887 --> 00:16:36,797 No, I am surviving. 389 00:16:36,922 --> 00:16:39,032 If we lose, I got to hear all about our connection 390 00:16:39,157 --> 00:16:40,853 and how we don't understand each other. 391 00:16:41,019 --> 00:16:42,658 Oh, yeah. That is the worst. 392 00:16:43,649 --> 00:16:46,275 Hey, do you feel like I have a lot of feminine qualities? 393 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:53,073 Okay, this is a good one. No props. 394 00:16:53,239 --> 00:16:55,047 Tell your lover a story that you've never told them before 395 00:16:55,172 --> 00:16:57,382 to see each other in a new light. 396 00:16:57,507 --> 00:16:58,537 Your turn to go first. 397 00:16:58,703 --> 00:16:59,818 Okay, I got one. 398 00:16:59,943 --> 00:17:01,820 Uh, when I was in high school, uh, 399 00:17:01,945 --> 00:17:03,375 our bus broke down and we got stuck in... 400 00:17:03,541 --> 00:17:05,961 You hooked up with that bald chick. 401 00:17:06,127 --> 00:17:10,996 She had peach fuzz, but anyway, um... 402 00:17:11,121 --> 00:17:13,430 Okay, um, I got another one. 403 00:17:13,555 --> 00:17:15,929 In my sophomore year in college, 404 00:17:16,095 --> 00:17:17,681 I actually got arrested, and what happened was... 405 00:17:17,847 --> 00:17:19,103 You stole the Bob off the Bob's big boy, 406 00:17:19,228 --> 00:17:20,476 and you threw it off the library. 407 00:17:20,642 --> 00:17:22,311 Damn it. 408 00:17:22,477 --> 00:17:25,189 It's okay, it's fine. Okay, just do another one. 409 00:17:25,355 --> 00:17:26,644 Okay. Oh, I got a good one. 410 00:17:26,769 --> 00:17:28,150 Did I tell you about the time I met Lou Reed? 411 00:17:28,316 --> 00:17:30,714 You met Lou Reed? 412 00:17:30,839 --> 00:17:35,199 Oh, my God. That's crazy, what happened? 413 00:17:35,365 --> 00:17:37,086 You know what? You're mocking me, all right? 414 00:17:37,211 --> 00:17:38,889 What... what are you doing? This is pointless. 415 00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,370 This whole thing is pointless. 416 00:17:40,536 --> 00:17:42,414 I guess I ran out of stories. 417 00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:43,827 Okay, Alex, it's not a big deal. 418 00:17:43,952 --> 00:17:45,042 This doesn't mean anything. 419 00:17:45,208 --> 00:17:46,595 No, this whole thing is stupid, all right? 420 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:47,997 Why don't we just move on to the next one 421 00:17:48,122 --> 00:17:49,796 and cover our naked bodies in hot fudge. 422 00:17:49,962 --> 00:17:51,667 Okay, okay, no. Just put your shirt on, 423 00:17:51,792 --> 00:17:53,926 let's just talk about this, okay? 424 00:17:54,092 --> 00:17:56,053 What are you so upset about? 425 00:17:56,219 --> 00:17:58,040 I'm not upset. I'm just thinking that fudge 426 00:17:58,165 --> 00:18:02,510 will make one thing about me interesting to you. 427 00:18:02,635 --> 00:18:03,852 Alex. 428 00:18:04,018 --> 00:18:05,896 Look, a long time ago, when we first started dating, 429 00:18:06,062 --> 00:18:07,481 you said that if we ever got bored 430 00:18:07,606 --> 00:18:09,817 to just put a bullet in the relationship and move on. 431 00:18:09,942 --> 00:18:11,118 Well, you know what? I'm worried. 432 00:18:11,243 --> 00:18:13,403 I'm worried that you've gotten bored. 433 00:18:13,569 --> 00:18:16,357 Oh, my God. 434 00:18:16,482 --> 00:18:19,493 I'm not bored. 435 00:18:19,659 --> 00:18:20,694 Really? 436 00:18:20,819 --> 00:18:22,095 Because for the first time in three years, 437 00:18:22,220 --> 00:18:24,364 I feel like somebody's more interesting than I am. 438 00:18:24,489 --> 00:18:26,433 I mean, I never made a website for any president 439 00:18:26,558 --> 00:18:27,601 or anything like that. 440 00:18:27,726 --> 00:18:31,171 I mean, I totally could, I'm smart enough. 441 00:18:31,337 --> 00:18:34,239 Look, I did say that, but that was three years ago. 442 00:18:34,364 --> 00:18:37,242 I had never been in a real relationship before. 443 00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,811 I didn't know what I was talking about. 444 00:18:38,936 --> 00:18:41,037 Three years ago I wore cut-off Jean shorts 445 00:18:41,305 --> 00:18:43,642 with tights underneath. 446 00:18:43,808 --> 00:18:45,851 Man, never has such an easy girl 447 00:18:45,976 --> 00:18:49,690 been so hard to have sex with. 448 00:18:49,856 --> 00:18:52,023 Look, I'm not jealous of Craig, all right? 449 00:18:52,148 --> 00:18:54,759 I mean, I wish him well. 450 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:57,696 Him and his imaginary girlfriend. 451 00:18:57,821 --> 00:19:00,398 Look, from now on, I will share 452 00:19:00,523 --> 00:19:01,833 everything with you, okay? 453 00:19:01,958 --> 00:19:04,663 Even if I'm at work. Everything. 454 00:19:04,829 --> 00:19:08,083 All right. Well, that backfired. 455 00:19:14,136 --> 00:19:17,147 You know, we kind of got through our exercises, 456 00:19:17,272 --> 00:19:20,345 so, uh, want to go celebrate with some tub sex? 457 00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:25,955 That sounds cold. 458 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:30,314 And like there would be a lot of apologizing. 459 00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:32,941 Yeah, you're probably right. 460 00:19:33,107 --> 00:19:35,110 You know what would be even hotter? 461 00:19:35,276 --> 00:19:36,599 I think I do. 462 00:19:36,724 --> 00:19:39,034 Uh, you thinking what I'm thinking? 463 00:19:39,159 --> 00:19:43,702 Boring sex in our boring bed. 464 00:19:43,868 --> 00:19:47,643 Do I get to keep my shirt on? 465 00:19:47,768 --> 00:19:50,375 I'm going to go pee. 466 00:19:58,287 --> 00:20:00,594 So... we all of the exercises, 467 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:04,348 and we are all good now, thanks to you, so thank you. 468 00:20:04,514 --> 00:20:06,040 Good. Well, what I'm hearing, 469 00:20:06,165 --> 00:20:08,575 as I dig through the salad of words in search of 470 00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:10,209 the crouton of truth, 471 00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,045 is that you would benefit 472 00:20:12,170 --> 00:20:14,914 from a series of exercises from my best-selling book, 473 00:20:15,039 --> 00:20:16,943 refresh your love. 474 00:20:17,109 --> 00:20:19,452 But doc, you already assigned us the exercises... we did them. 475 00:20:19,577 --> 00:20:23,075 We're, uh... our love is refreshed. 476 00:20:23,241 --> 00:20:26,453 Well, don't worry, because we can fix that. 477 00:20:26,619 --> 00:20:29,039 No, we don't need fixing. 478 00:20:29,205 --> 00:20:31,897 So, moving on to the second series of exercises 479 00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:33,966 outlined in my book, refresh your love... 480 00:20:34,091 --> 00:20:37,402 No, look, Whit, I think you and the doctor 481 00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:39,049 are having a communication breakdown. 482 00:20:39,215 --> 00:20:40,133 What? 483 00:20:40,299 --> 00:20:41,540 You're right. 484 00:20:41,665 --> 00:20:43,207 And I know exactly how to deal with this. 485 00:20:43,332 --> 00:20:45,722 Alex, time us. 60-second embrace. 486 00:20:45,888 --> 00:20:49,559 No talking. Bring it in, come on. 487 00:20:49,725 --> 00:20:51,706 Okay. Ahh. 488 00:20:51,831 --> 00:20:56,400 Sync and correction by Mlmlte www.addic7ed.com 489 00:20:56,450 --> 00:21:01,000 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35576

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