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1
00:00:32,975 --> 00:00:35,137
Saith Solomon in the Book,
2
00:00:35,352 --> 00:00:40,017
"Rise up, my love and come away.
For lo, the winter is past.
3
00:00:40,232 --> 00:00:42,143
"The flowers appear on the earth,
4
00:00:42,359 --> 00:00:45,568
"and the voice of the tourist
is heard in our land.”
5
00:00:46,989 --> 00:00:51,153
Excuse me, ma'am, hi.
I have relatives in Italy.
6
00:00:51,368 --> 00:00:55,578
Now, if I eat all my meals with them
while we're there, can I apply for a refund?
7
00:00:57,124 --> 00:00:58,285
It's the same for everybody.
8
00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:02,710
Nine countries, 18 days.
$448.50. No refunds.
9
00:01:16,185 --> 00:01:19,268
Irma, we're only going for 18 days.
10
00:01:24,193 --> 00:01:29,529
Now, let's say that I hook up with
just one chick, just one in each country...
11
00:01:29,740 --> 00:01:32,152
Wow, I only hope I have enough stamina.
12
00:01:32,368 --> 00:01:36,111
Bert, baby, you don't even score
in this country.
13
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,413
This is Europe, Steve.
Everybody scores in Europe!
14
00:01:44,421 --> 00:01:47,129
I don't understand. How can you blow
every penny you saved for years
15
00:01:47,341 --> 00:01:48,752
on one lousy trip to Europe?
16
00:01:48,968 --> 00:01:52,757
Because that's where I had the best
time of my life, World War Il.
17
00:01:52,972 --> 00:01:53,928
Come on!
18
00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:01,014
Samantha, if I go with you,
we can be married in Europe.
19
00:02:01,230 --> 00:02:02,766
Maybe next trip.
20
00:02:02,982 --> 00:02:04,347
Always that maybe.
21
00:02:04,566 --> 00:02:06,728
Well, that's why I'm taking
this trip, George.
22
00:02:06,944 --> 00:02:07,979
To be sure.
23
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:26,290
Shelly! That settles it.
You're coming to Europe with us.
24
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:47,060
TWA Flight 700
now arriving, London from New York.
25
00:02:51,196 --> 00:02:56,862
If it's Tuesday this must be Belgium
26
00:02:57,619 --> 00:03:02,659
If it's Wednesday this must be Rome
27
00:03:04,043 --> 00:03:09,504
If it's Thursday this must be Montreux
28
00:03:10,507 --> 00:03:14,876
I fear I never wanna go home
29
00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:21,182
If this is London why ain't it raining?
30
00:03:22,311 --> 00:03:27,306
The sun is shining on St. Paul's dome
31
00:03:28,192 --> 00:03:33,813
If this is real, then I must be dreaming
32
00:03:34,698 --> 00:03:41,661
Can't wait to tell the folks back home
33
00:03:44,083 --> 00:03:48,702
Can't wait to tell the folks back home
34
00:03:50,339 --> 00:03:55,049
If it's Tuesday this must be Belgium
35
00:03:56,595 --> 00:04:01,556
If it's Wednesday this must be Rome
36
00:04:03,018 --> 00:04:08,229
If it's Thursday this must be Montreux
37
00:04:09,274 --> 00:04:16,067
I fear I never wanna go home
38
00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:24,697
I fear I never wanna go home
39
00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:43,597
Five.
40
00:04:46,436 --> 00:04:47,642
Six.
41
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:50,684
Seven.
42
00:04:54,153 --> 00:04:55,268
Eight.
43
00:05:08,625 --> 00:05:11,458
-What's up, love?
-Me.
44
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:14,583
It's after 8:00 and I'm one hour late.
45
00:05:14,798 --> 00:05:18,291
My Americans are landing
at London Airport this very minute.
46
00:05:18,510 --> 00:05:20,467
My, we are in a flit, aren't we?
47
00:05:20,679 --> 00:05:22,215
Now, you don't know Yanks.
48
00:05:22,431 --> 00:05:25,139
When they drop out of the sky
wearing all that wash-and-wear,
49
00:05:25,350 --> 00:05:30,140
they want their tour guide standing
at attention and in full battle dress.
50
00:05:32,608 --> 00:05:34,315
Where are my socks?
51
00:05:35,986 --> 00:05:38,819
Here! Must you crawl all over me
like some great monkey?
52
00:05:39,031 --> 00:05:41,443
Now, you didn't mind
a few hours ago, did you?
53
00:05:41,658 --> 00:05:42,739
That was different.
54
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:45,363
Indeed it was, and it was lovely.
55
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,286
For me as well, love.
56
00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:54,703
Charlie, is it fun?
57
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,833
I thought we'd just agreed that?
58
00:05:57,049 --> 00:06:00,587
No, not that. Traveling around Europe
with all those people.
59
00:06:00,802 --> 00:06:02,042
It's not traveling.
60
00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:04,219
It's a mad dash
through nine bloody countries
61
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:06,843
in 18 bloodier days, that's what it is.
62
00:06:07,059 --> 00:06:10,643
And I have to be mother and father,
63
00:06:11,021 --> 00:06:16,391
psychiatrist, a host, teacher, interpreter,
64
00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:20,103
peacemaker and joke-maker,
to a silly crowd of Americans
65
00:06:20,322 --> 00:06:24,782
identical to my last silly crowd
of Americans, and my next crowd.
66
00:06:24,993 --> 00:06:27,951
Well, they're like Chinese waiters,
you know.
67
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:34,204
If you've seen one Yank tourist,
you've seen them all.
68
00:06:35,087 --> 00:06:38,375
How can he be an hour late?
Maybe we're in the wrong place.
69
00:06:38,590 --> 00:06:40,627
Maybe we're in the wrong country.
70
00:06:40,842 --> 00:06:44,551
Maybe one of us should contact someone
from World Wind Tours.
71
00:06:47,891 --> 00:06:49,256
Me, I guess.
72
00:07:03,115 --> 00:07:06,324
- Are you the guide for the World...
- I'm sorry I'm late, love.
73
00:07:06,535 --> 00:07:09,778
Some cheeky traffic cop stopped us
and gave Marcel a bloody ticket.
74
00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,785
Looks like he was very sweet to you.
75
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:16,368
That might very well be my wife's,
if I was married.
76
00:07:18,547 --> 00:07:20,333
I'm Charles Cartwright.
77
00:07:20,549 --> 00:07:22,881
Charlie to my little groups
from across the sea.
78
00:07:23,093 --> 00:07:25,209
And you are Miss...
79
00:07:25,429 --> 00:07:28,421
About to turn into an ugly American
right before your very eyes.
80
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,005
Not possible.
81
00:07:32,102 --> 00:07:34,594
Ladies and gentlemen, I want to
make sure that nobody is missing
82
00:07:34,813 --> 00:07:37,305
before we start out
upon our great adventure.
83
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:39,890
Mr. and Mrs. Harve Blakely.
84
00:07:40,110 --> 00:07:41,521
I'm here, but Irma's in the...
85
00:07:41,737 --> 00:07:43,944
-Mr. Jack Harmon.
-Yo!
86
00:07:44,156 --> 00:07:45,066
Mr. John Marino.
87
00:07:45,282 --> 00:07:47,068
Did you say John Marino?
I'm John Marino.
88
00:07:47,284 --> 00:07:48,695
Is Mr. and Mrs. Fred Ferguson here?
89
00:07:48,910 --> 00:07:51,026
Long enough to have
squatters rights, mister.
90
00:07:51,246 --> 00:07:54,409
Miss Shelly Ferguson?
Is Shelly Ferguson here?
91
00:07:54,624 --> 00:07:55,910
Boy, am I ever.
92
00:07:56,126 --> 00:07:58,083
-Mrs. Freda Gooding.
-Present.
93
00:07:58,295 --> 00:07:59,660
Mr. Bert Greenfield.
94
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:03,089
Bert Greenfield.
Here. Who wants me?
95
00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:06,167
-Mrs. Jenny Grant.
-Here and ready to go!
96
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:10,004
- Mr. Harry Dix.
- What? Here.
97
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:12,260
-Sam Perkins.
-That's Samantha.
98
00:08:12,476 --> 00:08:15,514
I'm sorry, they've abbreviated it here.
Is that Miss or Mrs.?
99
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:18,517
- Miss.
- Which is as good as a mile?
100
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,689
-And Miss Charlene Kane.
-Here.
101
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:21,766
Here's Irma.
102
00:08:21,985 --> 00:08:24,272
It took me 10 minutes to figure out
what WC means.
103
00:08:24,488 --> 00:08:25,978
Congratulations.
104
00:08:26,198 --> 00:08:29,532
World Wind Tour Number 225,
all present and correct!
105
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:30,653
Avanti!
106
00:08:30,869 --> 00:08:32,359
Let's move out!
107
00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:39,120
Ladies and gentlemen, this will be,
for the next three weeks,
108
00:08:39,336 --> 00:08:41,577
your home sweet home
away from home sweet home,
109
00:08:41,797 --> 00:08:43,788
complete with all comforts of same.
110
00:08:44,007 --> 00:08:47,875
Reclining seats, which we will alternate so
that everyone gets a turn at the windows.
111
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:49,881
Rather like a game of musical chairs.
112
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:53,215
And speaking of music,
we have music to fit not only the mood,
113
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,095
but whatever country we happen to be in.
114
00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:06,022
It's so, sort of, foreign looking.
115
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:10,109
Yup,
there's nothing like it back home.
116
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:21,333
Would you all gather round me, please?
117
00:09:24,756 --> 00:09:27,088
I will now distribute your room keys.
118
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:30,838
Mr. Harry Dix, room 405.
119
00:09:31,054 --> 00:09:32,010
Mrs. Jenny Grant.
120
00:09:36,768 --> 00:09:38,133
Irma?
121
00:09:41,857 --> 00:09:45,270
I don't think the 10 rolls
you brought will be enough.
122
00:10:33,742 --> 00:10:36,530
I'm telling you, Fred, it is not a planter.
123
00:10:37,954 --> 00:10:39,991
Too high for a footbath.
124
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:42,323
Is it bigger than a bread box?
125
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:53,216
With a mind like yours,
is it any wonder she's growing up wild?
126
00:10:53,970 --> 00:10:55,927
"Dear guys,
127
00:10:56,139 --> 00:11:01,509
"you should see the wild English chick
I'm sitting with right now.
128
00:11:05,190 --> 00:11:08,182
"Words can't even begin to describe her.
129
00:11:10,862 --> 00:11:12,853
"You wanted pictures of the victims?
130
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:16,316
"Well, here's the mini-hoo-ha
I'll never forget.
131
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:21,866
"England is great. The weather
hasn't cleared up yet, but my skin has."
132
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,168
And now, for your sightseeing pleasure,
133
00:11:32,384 --> 00:11:34,375
World Wind Tours is happy to present
134
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:38,053
2,000 years of British history
in one afternoon,
135
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:41,428
so try not to nap, folks,
you could miss a century.
136
00:11:41,643 --> 00:11:44,635
Our first stop,
the historic Tower of London.
137
00:11:44,854 --> 00:11:48,688
Here, you're in the presence of one of
history's greatest marital tragedies.
138
00:11:48,900 --> 00:11:52,859
On this very spot, Henry VIII had not one
but two of his six wives executed.
139
00:11:53,071 --> 00:11:54,982
What did those two wives ever do to him?
140
00:11:55,198 --> 00:11:57,189
They suggested a World Wind Tour.
141
00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:04,330
Passing on our right
is a troop of Her Majesty's Horse Guards.
142
00:12:04,541 --> 00:12:06,157
That's where our foreign aid goes!
143
00:12:06,376 --> 00:12:08,708
To some, this pageantry
may seem extravagant,
144
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,127
but it's an eternal symbol of British glory.
145
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:13,376
Do you realize
what a horse eats every day?
146
00:12:13,592 --> 00:12:16,300
Mr. Ferguson, you're a hopeless romantic.
147
00:12:19,848 --> 00:12:23,512
And now, the most vital
attraction on any tour of London,
148
00:12:23,727 --> 00:12:27,766
a stop at that elegant, understated
repository of British tradition,
149
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,437
Carnaby Street.
150
00:12:50,253 --> 00:12:54,042
Edna, this is no place
for any daughter of mine.
151
00:12:54,257 --> 00:12:58,592
Daddy it's the first place I've been today
that isn't 270 trillion years old!
152
00:12:58,803 --> 00:13:00,293
But look at this place.
153
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,880
Look at the people.
154
00:13:03,099 --> 00:13:04,510
Look at the clothes.
155
00:13:04,726 --> 00:13:07,468
And our cute, cool and kooky number.
156
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:09,553
Wow, is that ever in.
157
00:13:09,773 --> 00:13:11,855
No, Shelly, it is definitely out.
158
00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:13,023
Don't you like it, sir?
159
00:13:13,234 --> 00:13:17,603
Well, on you, I love it.
On her, over my dead body!
160
00:13:17,822 --> 00:13:19,312
We haven't lost a father yet.
161
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:20,943
Well, you're losing one now.
162
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:25,660
And now, as our final treat of the day,
163
00:13:25,872 --> 00:13:28,204
for that moment of British culture
you've all been waiting for,
164
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:29,952
I'll leave you in the capable hands of...
165
00:13:30,168 --> 00:13:33,581
Mrs. Featherstone is my name
and I am your special guide
166
00:13:33,797 --> 00:13:38,633
for this very special place,
the Victoria and Albert Museum. Hello.
167
00:13:38,843 --> 00:13:41,005
Now then, before we proceed,
168
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:44,714
I must caution you
to keep together throughout our browse.
169
00:13:44,933 --> 00:13:49,052
That is why I carry this.
Your stars and stripes forever?
170
00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:53,434
So, wherever you are in there,
when my little flag goes up,
171
00:13:53,650 --> 00:13:57,018
you must rally round
as your own song instructs.
172
00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:01,356
Very well, then.
All together now, shall we? Rally!
173
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,611
I'll get you for this, Edna.
174
00:14:04,869 --> 00:14:08,328
And here we have a prime example
175
00:14:08,540 --> 00:14:12,374
of mid-19th century canine statuary.
And this...
176
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:13,416
...made of marble.
177
00:14:13,628 --> 00:14:16,211
And this double canopied bedstead,
believe it or not,
178
00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:20,253
is made of papier-maché with lacquered...
179
00:14:20,468 --> 00:14:25,429
We have here a 15th-century
Italian whale head.
180
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:31,261
As I like to say at this particular spot,
well, well, well.
181
00:14:34,357 --> 00:14:35,643
Rally!
182
00:14:35,859 --> 00:14:39,944
No matter how long
it takes, Edna, I'll get you for this.
183
00:14:43,992 --> 00:14:46,450
- Sore leg, Harve?
- No.
184
00:14:46,661 --> 00:14:50,279
Imagine, we saw all of England
in just one day.
185
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:53,991
One more day like this and I'll kill myself.
186
00:15:02,677 --> 00:15:08,138
While I check my messages, why don't you
go upstairs and get yourself into...
187
00:15:08,349 --> 00:15:11,512
Well, out of all that fantastic...
188
00:15:11,728 --> 00:15:13,719
- Charlie.
- What?
189
00:15:13,938 --> 00:15:16,521
- Want an early morning call, love?
- Definitely not!
190
00:15:16,733 --> 00:15:19,600
Early morning calls
are for people who sleep.
191
00:15:28,953 --> 00:15:30,443
Mr. Cartwright.
192
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:32,662
Miss Sam.
193
00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:38,501
-What are all you ladies doing here?
-Waiting for you, Charlie, my boy.
194
00:15:38,713 --> 00:15:39,623
Me? Whatever for?
195
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:43,298
London by night. It's right here,
in the World Wind Tour brochure,
196
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:46,753
under "First Day's Activities, Night."
197
00:15:46,971 --> 00:15:50,054
Piccadilly Circus, Soho
and a typical old English pub.
198
00:15:50,266 --> 00:15:54,260
Well, ladies, I've been guiding tours for six
years now, and nobody's ever wanted this.
199
00:15:54,479 --> 00:15:57,972
Well, what with the time difference
and the first day's sightseeing,
200
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,432
well, you must be all exhausted.
201
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:02,729
No?
202
00:16:06,115 --> 00:16:09,779
London by Night tour, avanti.
203
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,921
-Now, this is more like it!
-Like what?
204
00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:27,717
The London I'd hoped to see. People, not...
205
00:16:27,929 --> 00:16:29,886
Come along. Over here, Ron.
206
00:16:39,691 --> 00:16:41,682
Fire. When ready, Gridley.
207
00:16:44,153 --> 00:16:45,314
Bingo!
208
00:16:46,823 --> 00:16:49,485
That's a bit better, isn't it?
209
00:16:49,701 --> 00:16:51,567
Now, you were telling me?
210
00:16:54,455 --> 00:16:55,490
Nothing, really.
211
00:16:55,707 --> 00:16:59,541
It's just that for the first time, I don't feel
like a typical American tourist, that's all.
212
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:04,292
Well, you're not typical, Miss Sam.
I knew that the first moment I saw you.
213
00:17:04,507 --> 00:17:05,918
Really?
214
00:17:06,509 --> 00:17:10,002
What would you say? That I'm...
What? Intelligent?
215
00:17:10,221 --> 00:17:11,461
Very.
216
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,472
And not bad looking, perhaps?
217
00:17:14,684 --> 00:17:17,767
As a matter of fact, you are a smasher.
218
00:17:17,979 --> 00:17:21,188
And I have six beautiful toes
on my right foot.
219
00:17:21,399 --> 00:17:25,313
Indeed you do.
And you're having a go at me, aren't you?
220
00:17:25,528 --> 00:17:27,064
Yes, I guess I was.
221
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:30,272
You see, you prove my point.
You're not typical.
222
00:17:33,995 --> 00:17:35,156
Banger?
223
00:17:37,498 --> 00:17:42,334
Steady, Miss Sam. That's what sausages
are called over here, bangers.
224
00:17:42,545 --> 00:17:44,752
No, thanks, Ron. Excuse me.
225
00:17:45,757 --> 00:17:48,089
This
226
00:17:48,301 --> 00:17:51,669
is the old Indian
227
00:17:54,891 --> 00:17:56,177
beer trick.
228
00:18:00,104 --> 00:18:02,391
Well, you are a very talented man.
229
00:18:02,607 --> 00:18:07,147
Yes. I shall write my novel this way.
If it doesn't sell, down the hatch.
230
00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:13,816
You know,
when this caper started tonight,
231
00:18:14,035 --> 00:18:16,743
I wasn't too happy about it,
but now my feelings have changed.
232
00:18:16,955 --> 00:18:18,161
Well, you've changed them.
233
00:18:18,373 --> 00:18:20,614
-Mr. Cartwright...
-Please, Charlie.
234
00:18:22,585 --> 00:18:28,126
Charlie. Look, my time in Europe
is very limited.
235
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:33,211
I want to see things, take home
experiences and memories, and that's all.
236
00:18:33,429 --> 00:18:36,342
Well, if it's experiences
and memories you're after,
237
00:18:36,557 --> 00:18:38,844
it's Lieutenant Charles Cartwright
reporting for duty, sir!
238
00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:40,846
-Charming! Bloody charming!
-Dot!
239
00:18:41,062 --> 00:18:43,224
Got tired of waiting, love,
so I rang up Peter.
240
00:18:43,439 --> 00:18:45,225
-You know Peter Wiggins.
-Hello, all.
241
00:18:45,441 --> 00:18:47,557
He came round to collect me. Here we are.
242
00:18:47,777 --> 00:18:49,984
Well, the London by Night tour
is just about over, so...
243
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:53,154
Don't forget to leave
an early morning call, love.
244
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,697
-God bless.
-Goodbye, all.
245
00:18:54,909 --> 00:18:56,946
But, Dot! Wait!
246
00:19:00,790 --> 00:19:01,996
Couldn't care less!
247
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:05,576
I've ruined your evening.
248
00:19:05,795 --> 00:19:07,411
But you could save it, you know.
249
00:19:07,630 --> 00:19:09,246
The night's early,
and the hotel is just around the...
250
00:19:09,465 --> 00:19:12,753
- Do me a favor, Charlie.
- Anything!
251
00:19:12,969 --> 00:19:14,755
Take no for an answer.
252
00:19:23,104 --> 00:19:25,061
Dames en heren,
253
00:19:25,273 --> 00:19:28,937
because it has more
than 50 canals and 550 bridges,
254
00:19:29,152 --> 00:19:32,736
Amsterdam is often referred to
as the Venice of the north.
255
00:19:32,947 --> 00:19:37,612
This tiny country of Holland is famous for
Rembrandt, the tulip, the Edam cheese.
256
00:19:37,827 --> 00:19:41,786
Also for van Gogh, Dutch chocolate,
Dutch beer, Dutch Cleanser,
257
00:19:41,998 --> 00:19:46,708
the Dutch treat, the Dutch door, the Dutch
uncle. In fact, folks, you're in Dutch.
258
00:20:03,895 --> 00:20:07,638
Play your cards right, Miss Sam,
and I have an extra special treat for you.
259
00:20:08,316 --> 00:20:09,852
Dirty postcards?
260
00:20:11,569 --> 00:20:13,185
Dutch chocolates.
261
00:20:26,584 --> 00:20:27,824
And now that we're on the Continent,
262
00:20:28,044 --> 00:20:30,285
you will be awakened every morning
at 6:00 a.m.
263
00:20:30,505 --> 00:20:31,540
6:00 a.m.?
264
00:20:31,756 --> 00:20:34,839
I'm sorry, it's the only way we can keep
anywhere near our schedule.
265
00:20:35,051 --> 00:20:37,543
And luggage must be packed
and placed outside the doors by 7:00
266
00:20:37,762 --> 00:20:40,595
so that it can be collected
and placed on the bus by departure time,
267
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,673
8:00 a.m. sharp.
268
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:47,765
Back home I don't even get up till 8:00,
and that's when I'm working.
269
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,766
Is "windmill" one word or two?
270
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,269
Since we're running a trifle late,
when we get to Amsterdam,
271
00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:54,647
we will have a mere 55 minutes
to get to our rooms,
272
00:20:54,862 --> 00:20:56,318
get our luggage delivered
and get our lunch
273
00:20:56,531 --> 00:20:59,319
before we visit
the Alkmaar Cheese Market,
274
00:20:59,534 --> 00:21:01,150
where once each week in the town square
275
00:21:01,369 --> 00:21:04,236
there's an auction of Gouda cheeses
and Edam cheeses,
276
00:21:04,455 --> 00:21:06,787
and pretty Gouda Edam cheeses they are.
277
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:10,082
Boy, how does he keep coming up
with all those jokes?
278
00:21:10,294 --> 00:21:12,376
Guts, sheer guts!
279
00:21:12,588 --> 00:21:13,874
Dutch cheese.
280
00:21:14,090 --> 00:21:15,797
What's wrong with American cheese?
281
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,419
Well, that we can get in America.
282
00:21:17,635 --> 00:21:20,718
If we hurry,
we can get a plane back tonight.
283
00:21:20,930 --> 00:21:25,015
Listen, I'm just as much an
American tourist as any of these people.
284
00:21:30,731 --> 00:21:35,316
Thanks. I've been hitting that free sample
line five, six times a day.
285
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,018
You must love cheese.
286
00:21:37,238 --> 00:21:38,820
I hate starving.
287
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,147
Edna, Shelly's talking to someone.
288
00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:43,904
Whoever he is,
she'll be in Brussels tomorrow.
289
00:21:45,621 --> 00:21:49,114
And I've been here about a week talking
to this Dutch group at the University.
290
00:21:49,333 --> 00:21:52,451
We want them to represent Holland
at a demonstration in Rome.
291
00:21:52,670 --> 00:21:54,456
Are you going to lead a riot, or something?
292
00:21:54,672 --> 00:21:58,415
Not exactly.
My bag is picket signs and recruiting.
293
00:21:58,634 --> 00:21:59,544
Where you headed from here?
294
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:03,628
Back to the bus.
The smell of this cheese is doing me in.
295
00:22:03,848 --> 00:22:06,055
You go ahead.
I'll bring a free sample to you on the bus.
296
00:22:06,267 --> 00:22:08,429
Do me a favor. Don't.
297
00:22:10,396 --> 00:22:14,890
18 days locked in a bus with those people?
It's, like, sick! What for?
298
00:22:15,610 --> 00:22:18,978
My father was afraid that me
and my boyfriend were about to make it.
299
00:22:19,197 --> 00:22:22,315
You know.
Anyway, my boyfriend was too scared.
300
00:22:22,533 --> 00:22:25,321
-Of sex?
-Of my father.
301
00:22:25,536 --> 00:22:30,406
That's interesting. I guess virginity is still
a big hang-up in the smaller towns.
302
00:22:30,625 --> 00:22:34,163
Charlotte, North Carolina is not
one of the smaller towns.
303
00:22:37,506 --> 00:22:41,591
I like you. You've got local pride.
You're ethnic.
304
00:22:41,802 --> 00:22:44,260
I am? What is it?
305
00:22:44,472 --> 00:22:48,056
Very nice. Okay, one more.
306
00:22:48,267 --> 00:22:49,473
Yeah, good.
307
00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:56,648
Let me just... Nice.
308
00:22:58,903 --> 00:23:01,440
Now one second,
I wanna try to get a little more...
309
00:23:02,490 --> 00:23:05,528
Dear wise guys, second country,
second girl.
310
00:23:05,701 --> 00:23:07,362
Batting a thousand.
311
00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:11,905
That's kind of cute.
312
00:23:13,459 --> 00:23:17,123
-Are you a Communist?
-No. University of Pennsylvania.
313
00:23:18,589 --> 00:23:20,830
I thought you were sort of mature.
314
00:23:21,050 --> 00:23:23,007
Well, look, I'll see you along the way.
315
00:23:23,219 --> 00:23:24,801
Really? You mean it?
316
00:23:25,012 --> 00:23:26,719
Keep the faith, baby.
317
00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:07,840
- You're sure it will be all right, Charlie?
- I'm sure it will be perfect.
318
00:24:08,055 --> 00:24:09,887
And your tourists
will not come back this time?
319
00:24:10,099 --> 00:24:13,342
I've got them so over-scheduled,
they may never come back.
320
00:24:13,561 --> 00:24:15,472
First, the cheese market.
321
00:24:15,688 --> 00:24:16,769
Then the Rijksmuseum.
322
00:24:16,981 --> 00:24:19,518
That's at least an hour for them to see
all those Rembrandts,
323
00:24:19,734 --> 00:24:21,975
-Franz Halses and Vermeers, ja?
-Ja.
324
00:24:22,194 --> 00:24:25,232
And after the diamond-cutting factory,
the Heineken brewery, ja?
325
00:24:25,448 --> 00:24:26,313
-Ja.
-Then after...
326
00:24:27,575 --> 00:24:29,737
Steady. That'll be the champagne.
327
00:24:32,913 --> 00:24:36,497
Irma Blakely has disappeared
on a Japanese bus.
328
00:24:36,709 --> 00:24:38,746
And I may commit hara-kari.
329
00:24:39,420 --> 00:24:43,584
Ja, from Tokyo!
They stayed right in this hotel last night.
330
00:24:44,133 --> 00:24:47,421
-They even had your rooms.
-Now they have my wife!
331
00:24:47,636 --> 00:24:50,219
Here it is. Banzai Tours Number 33.
332
00:24:50,431 --> 00:24:52,513
Didn't I tell you,
you'd get her back in no time at all?
333
00:24:52,725 --> 00:24:54,511
-You don't know Irma!
-Mr. Blakely...
334
00:24:54,727 --> 00:24:56,263
By placing this overlay map
335
00:24:56,479 --> 00:25:00,097
of the Banzai itinerary
over our own World Wind itinerary,
336
00:25:00,316 --> 00:25:03,058
we readily see that the two tours
criss-cross here in Rome
337
00:25:03,277 --> 00:25:05,143
here in Zurich
and right there again in Wiesbaden.
338
00:25:06,489 --> 00:25:07,900
Yeah, but you don't understand.
See, Irma's always...
339
00:25:08,115 --> 00:25:10,823
Thursday morning we take the Rhine
Steamer to Wiesbaden from Koblenz.
340
00:25:11,035 --> 00:25:11,900
And by Thursday afternoon,
341
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:15,532
you and your dear wife
will never know she's been away.
342
00:25:17,500 --> 00:25:19,286
I want to phone her. Where is she now?
343
00:25:19,502 --> 00:25:20,663
Hamburg.
344
00:25:29,637 --> 00:25:32,220
Koblenz to Wiesbaden. Thursday morning.
345
00:25:41,399 --> 00:25:43,106
-Wait! Elsa!
-Hilda!
346
00:25:46,570 --> 00:25:47,776
Miss Sam.
347
00:25:49,698 --> 00:25:52,907
Well, you must admit, I do have a talent
for barging in on you at the wrong time.
348
00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,076
Yes, you're getting very good at that.
349
00:25:55,287 --> 00:25:57,153
Well, you do give me plenty of chance
to practice.
350
00:25:57,373 --> 00:26:00,707
These stops are officially called lay-overs,
you know.
351
00:26:01,585 --> 00:26:02,791
How do you keep track of them all?
352
00:26:03,003 --> 00:26:05,995
I mean, do you have a map of Europe
up in your room with little pins stuck in it?
353
00:26:06,215 --> 00:26:10,049
Now why didn't I think of that?
You Yanks have a genius for organization.
354
00:26:10,261 --> 00:26:14,596
Well, I just wanted to apologize
for spoiling your afternoon, that's all.
355
00:26:14,807 --> 00:26:17,219
Well, you could apologize
over a glass of champagne.
356
00:26:17,435 --> 00:26:20,473
- l mean, they'd never refund my money.
- What a pity!
357
00:26:20,688 --> 00:26:22,520
It's not a bad little wine.
358
00:26:22,731 --> 00:26:25,974
It's not the year I ordered,
but then it never is. How about it?
359
00:26:26,193 --> 00:26:29,060
-No, thank you.
-Cup of tea?
360
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,648
Charlie,
you really are perfect.
361
00:26:32,867 --> 00:26:36,235
From champagne to tea!
Now, that is brilliant footwork.
362
00:26:40,124 --> 00:26:42,707
-Is anybody studying you?
-Studying me?
363
00:26:42,918 --> 00:26:46,127
The Rockefeller Foundation or Ford
might give you a grant.
364
00:26:46,338 --> 00:26:48,124
You mean I could get money, too?
365
00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:50,752
Well, you'd have to start
by keeping a record.
366
00:26:50,968 --> 00:26:53,801
I don't have to. You are!
367
00:27:09,153 --> 00:27:10,484
Hello, Irma?
368
00:27:10,696 --> 00:27:12,778
It's 6:00, sir.
369
00:27:12,990 --> 00:27:16,449
Listen, Operator, I still haven't completed
my call to...
370
00:27:18,537 --> 00:27:19,493
Banzai.
371
00:27:24,835 --> 00:27:26,246
What the hell's wrong now?
372
00:27:26,462 --> 00:27:27,748
It's 6:00.
373
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:40,556
Harmon here.
374
00:27:40,768 --> 00:27:42,224
It's 6:00.
375
00:27:42,770 --> 00:27:45,637
0600 hours, check! Over and out.
376
00:27:45,856 --> 00:27:49,315
Chow in one hour, paisan.
Drop your clocks and grab your socks.
377
00:27:52,321 --> 00:27:54,608
I don't think my socks will be dry
in an hour.
378
00:27:57,618 --> 00:27:58,483
Yes?
379
00:27:58,702 --> 00:28:00,113
It's 6:00, sir.
380
00:28:00,329 --> 00:28:04,698
It's 6:00? Thanks very much. Goodbye.
381
00:28:23,894 --> 00:28:25,680
Eleven, good morning.
382
00:28:25,896 --> 00:28:27,603
Twelve, good morning.
383
00:28:27,815 --> 00:28:29,772
Thirteen, good morning.
384
00:28:30,526 --> 00:28:32,483
Fourteen, good morning.
385
00:28:33,112 --> 00:28:34,944
Fifteen, good morning.
386
00:28:35,739 --> 00:28:37,821
Sixteen, good morning, Miss Sam.
Sleep well?
387
00:28:38,033 --> 00:28:40,070
-Fine, thank you. And you?
-Alone, thank you.
388
00:28:40,286 --> 00:28:41,947
Seventeen, good morning.
389
00:28:42,162 --> 00:28:43,277
Eighteen, good morning.
390
00:28:43,497 --> 00:28:45,238
All present and correct.
391
00:28:45,457 --> 00:28:46,697
Avanti!
392
00:28:55,092 --> 00:28:58,084
What I wouldn't give to hear
the three most beautiful words
393
00:28:58,304 --> 00:29:01,513
in the English language,
"Yankee go home."
394
00:29:13,277 --> 00:29:16,110
I'll take a wild guess. Belgian chocolate.
395
00:29:17,615 --> 00:29:19,231
-French postcards.
-Ooh!
396
00:29:25,623 --> 00:29:29,366
Yeah, yeah, the old place
hasn't changed a bit,
397
00:29:29,585 --> 00:29:32,828
since we come barreling
through here in '45.
398
00:29:33,047 --> 00:29:34,879
You wanna change seats with me?
399
00:29:35,090 --> 00:29:37,081
That's the reason
I took this particular tour.
400
00:29:37,301 --> 00:29:39,588
This hits the same spots I hit
during the war.
401
00:29:39,803 --> 00:29:42,670
Look, you can have my seat.
Really, I don't mind.
402
00:29:42,890 --> 00:29:46,474
The seat's wasted on me.
You see, I wasn't in World War Il.
403
00:29:46,935 --> 00:29:48,175
At all?
404
00:29:48,812 --> 00:29:50,223
I'm sorry.
405
00:29:50,856 --> 00:29:54,144
Is that because you got relatives in Italy?
406
00:29:54,735 --> 00:29:58,774
No, it's just they weren't drafting
seven-year-old boys.
407
00:30:00,658 --> 00:30:03,650
Before we arrive in Brussels, perhaps the
most important thing you should know
408
00:30:03,869 --> 00:30:06,952
is that we have so little time
after we get there.
409
00:30:07,164 --> 00:30:08,780
So after we have a quick bite of lunch,
410
00:30:08,999 --> 00:30:11,536
we have to squeeze in such wonders
as the Atomium,
411
00:30:11,752 --> 00:30:14,244
symbol of the 1958 Brussels World Fair.
412
00:30:14,463 --> 00:30:16,579
What the hell is it
supposed to be, anyway?
413
00:30:16,799 --> 00:30:19,712
I don't know, but it looks
like something dirty to me.
414
00:30:19,927 --> 00:30:22,009
Looks like a giant Tinkertoy to me.
415
00:30:22,221 --> 00:30:24,883
Looks like another dull afternoon to me.
416
00:30:25,099 --> 00:30:27,431
Irma would have loved this!
417
00:30:27,643 --> 00:30:31,352
How'd you like to pay a plumber
12 bucks an hour to fix that?
418
00:30:32,272 --> 00:30:35,810
And would any of you want to
miss the world famous Manneken Pis?
419
00:30:36,026 --> 00:30:37,858
I thought it would be
much bigger than that.
420
00:30:38,070 --> 00:30:40,186
Well, he's just a little boy.
421
00:30:41,907 --> 00:30:45,320
Where's Shelly?
Does Shelly have to see a thing like that?
422
00:30:45,536 --> 00:30:46,901
Yes, yes!
423
00:30:47,121 --> 00:30:48,862
We can only spare an hour for you ladies
424
00:30:49,081 --> 00:30:51,118
to buy some exquisite Belgian lace.
425
00:30:51,333 --> 00:30:52,198
I don't know.
426
00:30:52,418 --> 00:30:56,412
I know a shop where the mention of my
name will get you the best buy in town.
427
00:30:56,630 --> 00:30:58,917
I'm telling you, Miss Perkins,
that blouse is you.
428
00:30:59,133 --> 00:31:01,591
A little too much of me, I'm afraid.
429
00:31:01,802 --> 00:31:04,544
Above all, we must visit
that remarkable antique square
430
00:31:04,763 --> 00:31:08,222
in the center of bustling Brussels,
the Grand Place.
431
00:31:08,434 --> 00:31:11,017
What's so grand about this place?
432
00:31:11,228 --> 00:31:14,437
Take away the gold
and what have you got? Tenements.
433
00:31:15,733 --> 00:31:19,692
The Grand Place should really be seen at
night to appreciate its true magnificence.
434
00:31:19,903 --> 00:31:21,064
Why don't we see it at night?
435
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,442
Because we have to sleep,
since tomorrow morning at 6:00 a.m.
436
00:31:23,657 --> 00:31:24,567
we are on the move again
437
00:31:24,992 --> 00:31:27,950
and heading for our first stop, Bastogne,
438
00:31:28,162 --> 00:31:30,449
where a monument marks the place
your American troops
439
00:31:30,664 --> 00:31:35,374
fought so gallantly and courageously
in one of the key battles of World War Il.
440
00:31:38,797 --> 00:31:42,756
It was right here that we won
the Battle of the Bulge.
441
00:31:45,137 --> 00:31:48,255
Hey, now, you see down there,
where that couple is?
442
00:31:48,474 --> 00:31:51,136
Now, that was a German strongpoint.
Come here.
443
00:31:55,272 --> 00:31:57,434
After they thought their barrage
had softened us up,
444
00:31:57,649 --> 00:32:00,812
then they moved in with their tanks.
Now, what did we do?
445
00:32:01,028 --> 00:32:03,110
Moved in with our tanks.
446
00:32:03,322 --> 00:32:04,312
Right, right, all right.
447
00:32:07,701 --> 00:32:08,816
We started down the hill.
448
00:32:11,121 --> 00:32:12,532
Every gun blazing.
449
00:32:14,124 --> 00:32:16,035
We had to push 'em back
or we were dead!
450
00:32:22,925 --> 00:32:25,087
And then the Germans retreated.
451
00:32:38,690 --> 00:32:40,931
Luxembourg. For most American tourists,
452
00:32:41,151 --> 00:32:45,110
this tiny duchy exists mainly as a
lunch stop between Belgium and Germany.
453
00:32:45,322 --> 00:32:48,485
Matter of fact I heard some women
from Kentucky call this Luncheonburg.
454
00:32:48,951 --> 00:32:51,318
How come the American Express Tour
gets salad and we don't?
455
00:32:51,537 --> 00:32:53,528
Well, they're deluxe. We're only first class.
456
00:32:53,747 --> 00:32:56,364
I just met a fellow from the Cook's Tour.
They had steak last night.
457
00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:59,496
They got their own private john,
right on the bus, with free Kleenex.
458
00:32:59,711 --> 00:33:02,123
I don't see anything on this menu
except things like hamburgers,
459
00:33:02,339 --> 00:33:03,420
frankfurters and
American cheese sandwiches.
460
00:33:03,632 --> 00:33:04,747
That'll do me fine. I'll have a hamburger.
461
00:33:04,967 --> 00:33:07,459
-How do you spell Luxembourg?
-Luxembourg, L-U-X...
462
00:33:07,678 --> 00:33:09,043
So will she. Well done. Shelly?
463
00:33:09,263 --> 00:33:11,925
I am so car sick from that bus
that I am sick.
464
00:33:12,140 --> 00:33:13,130
L-U-X...
465
00:33:13,350 --> 00:33:15,216
Make that three hamburgers, I'll eat hers.
466
00:33:15,394 --> 00:33:17,556
-E-M...
-I'm on a diet. Could I have salad?
467
00:33:17,771 --> 00:33:18,727
No substitutions, madam.
468
00:33:18,939 --> 00:33:21,522
Make it four hamburgers.
It was a crash diet anyway.
469
00:33:21,733 --> 00:33:22,814
I'll have four hamburgers, too.
470
00:33:23,026 --> 00:33:25,563
-That's extra, sir.
-Don't mind him. He's always joking.
471
00:33:25,779 --> 00:33:27,816
-Excuse me, where was 1?
-L-U-X-E-M...
472
00:33:28,031 --> 00:33:29,487
-S.0.S.
-S-0-S...
473
00:33:29,700 --> 00:33:33,193
No, Mrs. Ferguson, don't write that down.
That's what I'm ordering, S.0.S.
474
00:33:33,412 --> 00:33:36,074
That's chipped beef on toast.
I got to like it in the Army.
475
00:33:36,290 --> 00:33:38,782
-L-U-X-E-M...
-Why not? S.0.S. for me, too.
476
00:33:39,001 --> 00:33:40,708
Listen, folks,
it's none of my business, really,
477
00:33:40,919 --> 00:33:43,877
but don't you think we should at least
try some of the local delicacies?
478
00:33:44,089 --> 00:33:45,420
- I'm game.
- Something like what?
479
00:33:45,632 --> 00:33:47,418
-B-0-U-R-G.
-Well, I don't know.
480
00:33:47,634 --> 00:33:49,250
What's the specialty of the house?
481
00:33:49,469 --> 00:33:51,301
- Hamburgers.
- No. I don't mean for us.
482
00:33:51,513 --> 00:33:53,220
I mean for the local people that come here.
483
00:33:53,432 --> 00:33:57,175
Local people don't come here.
This is strictly for our tourist friends.
484
00:33:57,394 --> 00:33:59,761
Make that one more hamburger, please.
485
00:33:59,980 --> 00:34:04,895
Irma, I'm talking
as loud as I can. Now, listen.
486
00:34:06,236 --> 00:34:13,074
We go by steamer
from Koblenz to Wiesbaden.
487
00:34:13,785 --> 00:34:18,575
Tomorrow. So what I've... Yes, Koblenz.
488
00:34:19,625 --> 00:34:24,620
Yes, yes, tomorrow. Steamer. Steamer!
489
00:34:24,838 --> 00:34:26,203
On the Rhine!
490
00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:31,133
Damen und Herren,
we now shift from bus to boat,
491
00:34:31,345 --> 00:34:35,430
sailing down the legendary Rhine,
where the Lorelei sing their siren songs
492
00:34:35,641 --> 00:34:38,554
beneath the fairytale castles
of old Germany.
493
00:34:53,784 --> 00:34:55,445
Enjoying yourself, Mr. Ferguson?
494
00:34:55,661 --> 00:34:56,617
-Hey, Charlie.
-Yeah?
495
00:34:56,828 --> 00:34:58,910
This stuff tastes like it was pumped
straight out of the river.
496
00:34:59,122 --> 00:35:01,955
-Don't you have any imported wine?
-What? In Germany? French wine?
497
00:35:02,167 --> 00:35:03,578
No, California!
498
00:35:04,878 --> 00:35:08,542
- Fred, that was beautiful.
- Indeed it was, Fred.
499
00:35:29,236 --> 00:35:32,103
Would you believe I never
folk-danced before in my life?
500
00:35:32,322 --> 00:35:35,064
- You're doing fine, Jack.
- Boy!
501
00:36:03,145 --> 00:36:08,561
"Dear jealous poker players,
five down, four to go. Signed, Lucky."
502
00:36:18,660 --> 00:36:21,197
Ready to do some tippling now,
Miss Sam?
503
00:36:21,413 --> 00:36:23,905
No, thank you.
The scenery is heady enough.
504
00:36:24,124 --> 00:36:25,285
Well, I'll just leave it here on the deck,
505
00:36:25,500 --> 00:36:28,583
in case you get chilly
in that pretty lace thing. Belgian, isn't it?
506
00:36:28,795 --> 00:36:30,285
Yes. I bought it in Brussels.
507
00:36:30,505 --> 00:36:31,370
Shop I recommended?
508
00:36:31,590 --> 00:36:33,456
Where the mere mention
of your name works miracles.
509
00:36:33,675 --> 00:36:36,542
Why, it practically put the stunning young
woman who works there in a swoon.
510
00:36:36,762 --> 00:36:38,048
-Good old Yvette.
-Yvonne, I think she said...
511
00:36:38,263 --> 00:36:39,970
Yes, of course.
Did she give you a discount?
512
00:36:40,182 --> 00:36:42,423
- 20%.
- Now, that's not bad?
513
00:36:42,642 --> 00:36:46,476
Well, it was wonderful until I saw
the same thing for a 30% discount.
514
00:36:46,688 --> 00:36:49,350
-Where?
-At a shop a block away.
515
00:36:49,566 --> 00:36:51,022
Well, it may have looked similar,
but I'm sure...
516
00:36:51,234 --> 00:36:54,397
No, not similar, Charlie, identical.
517
00:36:54,613 --> 00:36:56,650
I'll check it out with Yvonne
the next time I see her.
518
00:36:56,865 --> 00:36:59,232
Well, you needn't do that because
I happen to be the assistant buyer
519
00:36:59,451 --> 00:37:02,318
for ladies' dresses for one of the largest
department stores in Minneapolis, so...
520
00:37:02,537 --> 00:37:03,402
Really?
521
00:37:03,622 --> 00:37:05,454
...if there's one thing I do know,
it is fabric and workmanship,
522
00:37:05,665 --> 00:37:07,121
a lot better than your average shopper.
523
00:37:07,334 --> 00:37:09,575
I sort of had you pegged
as one of those terribly efficient ladies
524
00:37:09,795 --> 00:37:13,038
who program computers or something.
I never saw you in ladies' dresses.
525
00:37:13,256 --> 00:37:15,793
And I never saw you as a cheap hustler.
526
00:37:17,427 --> 00:37:20,215
Well, can you deny
you'll get a kick-back on this blouse?
527
00:37:20,430 --> 00:37:22,262
10%, and the word is "commission,"
528
00:37:22,474 --> 00:37:24,306
a perfectly legitimate practice.
529
00:37:24,518 --> 00:37:27,977
Sure. Anything goes when it comes
to fleecing the American tourists.
530
00:37:28,188 --> 00:37:29,474
No, wait. Wait.
Have you ever thought what you get
531
00:37:29,689 --> 00:37:31,179
for so few of your almighty dollars?
532
00:37:31,399 --> 00:37:34,983
You get all of this. The art, the tradition,
the history, the people, the food,
533
00:37:35,195 --> 00:37:38,438
the whole bloody magic of it!
The biggest bargain that ever was,
534
00:37:38,657 --> 00:37:40,819
but all you can see is the price tag!
535
00:37:41,034 --> 00:37:43,025
Charlie, we're talking about
much more than that...
536
00:37:43,245 --> 00:37:45,782
- Come on.
- ...and you know it.
537
00:37:45,997 --> 00:37:50,116
How long do you expect to get by
on the old boyish charm?
538
00:37:50,335 --> 00:37:52,872
For the rest of my life, if I'm lucky.
539
00:37:55,382 --> 00:37:56,793
All the best.
540
00:38:01,054 --> 00:38:03,671
The damned blouse looks great on you.
541
00:38:19,698 --> 00:38:21,564
Harve! Harve!
542
00:38:24,119 --> 00:38:28,204
Harvey! Harve, it's me, Irma!
543
00:38:28,415 --> 00:38:30,952
-Irma!
-Harve! Come get me!
544
00:38:31,168 --> 00:38:35,412
I told you Koblenz to Wiesbaden!
545
00:38:35,630 --> 00:38:38,793
-What?
-First Koblenz, then Wiesbaden.
546
00:38:39,009 --> 00:38:40,215
I can't hear you!
547
00:38:40,427 --> 00:38:43,636
-You're going the wrong way!
-Harve!
548
00:38:44,598 --> 00:38:48,592
-Irma!
-Come get me, Harvey!
549
00:38:49,936 --> 00:38:51,973
Irma!
550
00:38:54,024 --> 00:38:56,607
Irma!
551
00:39:13,376 --> 00:39:15,663
Irma would have loved this.
552
00:39:15,962 --> 00:39:20,206
The guy who said, "There's no place
like home," must've taken this tour.
553
00:39:21,092 --> 00:39:24,756
Mesdames et monsieurs, in order for you
to enjoy the natural wonders
554
00:39:24,971 --> 00:39:26,052
of Switzerland to the fullest,
555
00:39:26,264 --> 00:39:28,130
World Wind Tours takes you
off the beaten track
556
00:39:28,350 --> 00:39:32,218
and puts you up in the tiny, picturesque
village of Gruyere, of cheese fame.
557
00:39:32,437 --> 00:39:35,680
It is one of the most famous
vacation spots in this storybook land.
558
00:39:35,899 --> 00:39:38,311
Cheese! That's how I lost Irma.
559
00:39:38,526 --> 00:39:41,985
Hey, yeah, I'm sorry about that. I never
had nothing like that happen to me.
560
00:39:42,197 --> 00:39:44,234
Maybe because I never been married.
561
00:39:44,449 --> 00:39:46,486
-How come?
-Well, I don't know.
562
00:39:46,660 --> 00:39:50,369
There was only one girl
I ever felt that way about.
563
00:39:50,580 --> 00:39:54,289
-Bet it was during the war.
-That's amazing! How did you know that?
564
00:39:54,501 --> 00:39:57,163
Well, I heard you mention many times
that you were a veteran, so I figured...
565
00:39:57,379 --> 00:39:59,040
Yeah, she lived in Rome
when we liberated it.
566
00:39:59,256 --> 00:40:00,838
Her name was Gina.
567
00:40:01,925 --> 00:40:03,131
Still is, I bet.
568
00:40:03,343 --> 00:40:06,756
Boy, that was the most beautiful
three weeks I ever spent in my life.
569
00:40:08,682 --> 00:40:10,673
You going to go see her
when we get to Rome?
570
00:40:10,892 --> 00:40:13,634
Boy, I'd love to, if I only had the guts!
571
00:40:19,985 --> 00:40:23,319
It's taking so long.
Can't you get there from here?
572
00:40:23,530 --> 00:40:25,942
I feel like I was born on this bus.
573
00:40:26,157 --> 00:40:27,943
I feel like I died on it.
574
00:40:36,876 --> 00:40:39,208
Being this remote,
you'd think they'd have a short cut.
575
00:40:39,421 --> 00:40:41,833
What's our hurry?
It's starting to rain, anyway.
576
00:40:43,633 --> 00:40:45,715
How come it never rains
on museum days?
577
00:40:55,061 --> 00:40:58,520
This free day gives me just the chance
I need to catch up on my correspondence.
578
00:40:58,732 --> 00:41:02,646
Don't tell them the truth.
Let them think we're having fun.
579
00:41:03,987 --> 00:41:07,776
Here I am, paying for this damn trip
and grateful for a day off!
580
00:42:35,412 --> 00:42:37,744
Hey! Down the hatch.
581
00:42:37,956 --> 00:42:41,620
Past the teeth, past the gums,
look out stomach, here she comes.
582
00:42:41,835 --> 00:42:43,451
Prosit.
583
00:42:46,047 --> 00:42:49,540
- Home was never like this, Edna?
- You can say that again.
584
00:42:49,759 --> 00:42:51,045
It's like an Italian wedding.
585
00:42:51,261 --> 00:42:53,343
You foreigners sure know how to live!
586
00:42:53,555 --> 00:42:55,842
Bert, how about taking
a picture of the group?
587
00:42:56,641 --> 00:42:59,224
First thing a person learns,
never waste film.
588
00:43:01,062 --> 00:43:03,053
What time did you say
you had to be home?
589
00:43:03,273 --> 00:43:05,731
They said the Fondue Fling
would be over at 11:00.
590
00:43:05,942 --> 00:43:08,434
-Their what fling?
-Fondue Fling.
591
00:43:08,903 --> 00:43:12,771
It's a party where all they eat is
melted cheese. It comes with the tour.
592
00:43:13,241 --> 00:43:15,198
This is something else.
593
00:43:15,618 --> 00:43:17,700
You know, when you said
that we'd go to your place,
594
00:43:17,912 --> 00:43:20,449
I never thought it would
turn out to be a youth hostel.
595
00:43:20,665 --> 00:43:22,781
I figured it was time
you met some real people.
596
00:44:04,459 --> 00:44:06,450
What woman in my arms?
597
00:44:07,128 --> 00:44:12,214
On the boat?
That was just Freda, Mrs. Gooding.
598
00:44:13,843 --> 00:44:16,631
What? No, I don't know
where her husband is now.
599
00:44:17,013 --> 00:44:18,720
He's been dead a couple of years.
600
00:44:20,141 --> 00:44:21,973
No, he's not on the tour!
601
00:44:23,436 --> 00:44:25,677
Well, she was dancing, I wasn't!
602
00:44:26,940 --> 00:44:27,896
What?
603
00:44:28,691 --> 00:44:32,400
No, Irma,
there is no woman in here with me now.
604
00:44:32,612 --> 00:44:34,819
That's a yodeling act you're hearing.
605
00:44:35,198 --> 00:44:36,939
I'm not in my room!
606
00:44:38,159 --> 00:44:43,495
I mean, I'm in some cellar.
I mean, it's Fondue Fling night.
607
00:44:45,291 --> 00:44:48,625
Hello? Hello, Irma? Hello?
608
00:44:51,589 --> 00:44:53,626
-How's Irma?
-Hysterical!
609
00:45:20,034 --> 00:45:22,617
- Hello.
- I'm afraid all these seats are taken.
610
00:45:22,829 --> 00:45:25,116
-Where is everybody?
-Dancing.
611
00:45:25,957 --> 00:45:28,449
-And what about you?
-I'm not dancing.
612
00:45:28,668 --> 00:45:31,205
No, what I meant was,
would you care to join them?
613
00:45:31,629 --> 00:45:33,085
No, thank you.
614
00:45:37,343 --> 00:45:39,425
-Had any fondue yet?
-No.
615
00:45:39,637 --> 00:45:41,219
Well, there's a coincidence. Neither have I.
616
00:45:41,431 --> 00:45:44,924
But I have an idea.
Suppose you and I have it together?
617
00:45:46,519 --> 00:45:47,475
Why?
618
00:45:48,855 --> 00:45:52,723
Because this is Switzerland.
It's a neutral country.
619
00:45:55,778 --> 00:45:57,644
That's better, isn't it?
620
00:45:58,740 --> 00:46:00,230
Come with me.
621
00:46:20,261 --> 00:46:22,252
Must be your lucky night, Miss Sam.
622
00:46:22,472 --> 00:46:24,554
You are about to partake
of Charles Cartwright's
623
00:46:24,766 --> 00:46:27,053
world-famous and special recipe
for this stuff.
624
00:46:27,268 --> 00:46:31,387
-The secret ingredient being aquavit?
-Just a dash or two.
625
00:46:31,648 --> 00:46:35,642
-Charlie, it won't help.
-You mustn't argue with the chef.
626
00:46:36,152 --> 00:46:37,688
100 proof and foolproof,
627
00:46:37,904 --> 00:46:40,566
guaranteed to melt not only the cheese,
but also the girl.
628
00:46:40,782 --> 00:46:42,113
Well, at least you're honest about it.
629
00:46:42,325 --> 00:46:44,862
However, if your plan is to get me
so smashed that I...
630
00:46:45,078 --> 00:46:47,536
My plan is merely to relax
the irresistible force
631
00:46:47,747 --> 00:46:49,738
and the immovable object before impact.
632
00:46:53,503 --> 00:46:54,584
What are you doing?
633
00:46:54,796 --> 00:46:57,288
Well, I want to prove that,
dead drunk or cold sober,
634
00:46:57,507 --> 00:46:59,214
I am just as immovable.
635
00:46:59,425 --> 00:47:03,043
Miss Sam, you are the irresistible force!
636
00:47:03,262 --> 00:47:05,378
Proceed at your own risk.
637
00:47:10,937 --> 00:47:15,056
She fell in love with a swan
638
00:47:17,985 --> 00:47:20,568
Her eyes were filled with feathers
639
00:47:20,947 --> 00:47:23,655
He filled her with song
640
00:47:25,576 --> 00:47:28,785
In the reedy river
641
00:47:33,459 --> 00:47:38,420
In the reedy river
642
00:47:40,299 --> 00:47:45,669
She in her boat, long hours
643
00:47:47,724 --> 00:47:50,466
He in his royal plumage
644
00:47:50,685 --> 00:47:53,347
She threw him some flowers
645
00:47:55,231 --> 00:47:59,145
In the reedy river
646
00:48:02,155 --> 00:48:07,571
Black was the night and starry
647
00:48:09,704 --> 00:48:12,617
She loosened up her garments
648
00:48:12,832 --> 00:48:15,790
And let fall her hair
649
00:48:17,420 --> 00:48:21,209
In the reedy river
650
00:48:24,427 --> 00:48:29,547
Sadly they mourn and sigh
651
00:48:31,893 --> 00:48:34,760
Whilst in evening twilight
652
00:48:34,979 --> 00:48:38,938
Two swans glide and fly
653
00:48:39,150 --> 00:48:43,565
O'er the reedy river
654
00:48:46,532 --> 00:48:51,072
O'er the reedy river
655
00:48:54,123 --> 00:49:00,119
She fell in love with a swan
656
00:49:06,385 --> 00:49:08,376
-All finished.
-No.
657
00:49:10,223 --> 00:49:12,089
Well, obviously you've had enough.
658
00:49:12,308 --> 00:49:15,642
I can't get over
what a different person you are.
659
00:49:16,312 --> 00:49:18,895
-Different from whom?
-From you.
660
00:49:19,106 --> 00:49:20,688
Confidentially, neither can I.
661
00:49:21,984 --> 00:49:24,271
Well, isn't it better this way?
662
00:49:25,154 --> 00:49:29,273
Whatever way this is,
it is bloody marvelous.
663
00:49:34,247 --> 00:49:36,113
Charlie.
664
00:49:36,874 --> 00:49:41,789
Charlie Brown, I am sorry for all
the terrible, awful things I said.
665
00:49:42,046 --> 00:49:43,832
Well, forget it, forget it.
666
00:49:44,048 --> 00:49:46,130
But I couldn't be just another bird
on the list,
667
00:49:46,342 --> 00:49:50,836
number nine or 300 or whatever
astronomical figures you deal in.
668
00:49:51,222 --> 00:49:55,011
They're just a few friends
scattered about, really. That's all.
669
00:49:56,185 --> 00:50:00,099
-Charlie, dance with me.
-You think you can?
670
00:50:00,314 --> 00:50:01,270
Dance?
671
00:50:01,482 --> 00:50:04,645
Hell, I could fly!
672
00:50:05,403 --> 00:50:08,111
It's the landing that counts, love.
673
00:50:18,040 --> 00:50:22,034
Well! Samantha's obviously
ready to be taken home.
674
00:50:22,253 --> 00:50:23,584
Excellent idea!
675
00:50:23,796 --> 00:50:25,412
By me.
676
00:50:36,684 --> 00:50:38,766
Not a bad little pension.
677
00:50:51,157 --> 00:50:54,070
Bo, I knew you were mature.
678
00:50:55,119 --> 00:50:56,735
Shelly! You down there, Shelly?
679
00:50:56,954 --> 00:50:58,240
My God, my father!
680
00:50:58,456 --> 00:51:01,369
I figured that.
Maybe if we just ignore him, he'll go away.
681
00:51:01,584 --> 00:51:03,825
- Not my father!
- Shelly!
682
00:51:04,045 --> 00:51:07,083
-Shelly. Rome, Thursday.
-Rome, Thursday.
683
00:51:07,298 --> 00:51:08,880
-You and me.
-Ciao!
684
00:51:09,592 --> 00:51:10,548
Ciao.
685
00:51:20,686 --> 00:51:24,475
That's it! That's a home run!
That's a home run! That's good!
686
00:51:28,694 --> 00:51:31,857
This sort of thing
happen often over here, does it?
687
00:51:50,424 --> 00:51:52,210
Have some of this, Miss Sam.
688
00:51:53,052 --> 00:51:56,886
Please don't shout.
Just tell me when we get to Liechtenstein.
689
00:51:57,181 --> 00:52:00,469
-Liechtenstein?
-l asked you not to shout.
690
00:52:02,186 --> 00:52:05,474
We left Liechtenstein
after lunch.
691
00:52:06,816 --> 00:52:08,557
Where are we?
692
00:52:09,485 --> 00:52:11,271
We're in sunny ltaly.
693
00:53:10,004 --> 00:53:11,586
Canal's full of garbage.
694
00:53:11,922 --> 00:53:14,038
They spell Venice very funny over here.
695
00:53:14,258 --> 00:53:16,124
This is one place my outfit never got to.
696
00:53:16,343 --> 00:53:20,337
I have relatives here.
I wrote them I'm coming.
697
00:53:20,556 --> 00:53:22,217
It's all very ethnic.
698
00:53:22,516 --> 00:53:26,009
Centuries ago, Venice was one of
the most powerful city states.
699
00:53:26,228 --> 00:53:28,970
Hope they had better garbage collection
in those days!
700
00:53:29,356 --> 00:53:30,812
Irma would've loved this.
701
00:53:31,025 --> 00:53:34,768
I didn't write my relatives,
my mother wrote them.
702
00:53:34,987 --> 00:53:37,194
If Amsterdam is the Venice of the north,
703
00:53:37,406 --> 00:53:39,818
why isn't Venice
the Amsterdam of the south?
704
00:53:40,034 --> 00:53:44,995
Venezia, V-E-N-E-Z-I-A is how they spell it.
705
00:53:49,585 --> 00:53:51,576
-Charlie!
-Sophia!
706
00:53:51,796 --> 00:53:52,752
Maria!
707
00:53:55,841 --> 00:53:58,503
-Maria, you look great!
-Thank you.
708
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:00,960
-We're only here for one day.
-Where are you going?
709
00:54:01,180 --> 00:54:03,968
Rome, but I'll see you next time around.
710
00:54:04,183 --> 00:54:05,514
Look at that!
711
00:54:05,768 --> 00:54:08,135
-Ciao, Maria!
-Ciao!
712
00:54:11,232 --> 00:54:13,940
Hold it a sec, would you? Hold it!
713
00:54:15,069 --> 00:54:18,607
"Dear fellas,
I met her in Venice. Number eight.
714
00:54:19,532 --> 00:54:23,992
"This one's a winner any way you look
at her. Signed, Exhausted."
715
00:54:25,287 --> 00:54:26,448
Hey, everybody keeps talking about chow,
716
00:54:26,872 --> 00:54:29,113
but we haven't had a bite to eat yet.
717
00:54:31,794 --> 00:54:36,709
Ciao in Italy means one
of two things, either "hello" or "goodbye."
718
00:54:36,924 --> 00:54:38,585
Hey, paisan, I know that!
719
00:54:38,801 --> 00:54:41,259
I was here in the war, remember?
I was making a joke.
720
00:54:41,470 --> 00:54:42,835
See, "chow" in the Army means...
721
00:54:43,055 --> 00:54:47,344
Excuse me. I'm very nervous.
I'm going to visit my relatives.
722
00:55:18,799 --> 00:55:22,963
I don't know if you got my mother's letter
or anything, but I'm John Marino.
723
00:55:26,348 --> 00:55:28,180
Giovanni Marinamanno?
724
00:55:28,726 --> 00:55:30,933
Originally, yes. Si.
725
00:55:43,574 --> 00:55:47,363
Giovanni, Giovanni, Giovanni!
726
00:56:02,927 --> 00:56:04,213
Francesca!
727
00:56:19,235 --> 00:56:20,771
How are you?
728
00:57:05,281 --> 00:57:07,613
I can't stay for lunch.
729
00:57:08,075 --> 00:57:10,237
I have a bus to catch.
730
00:58:08,719 --> 00:58:14,260
It looks delicious, but my bus is leaving.
731
00:59:27,089 --> 00:59:28,705
It looks swell.
732
01:01:19,910 --> 01:01:22,823
-May I have this dance, Miss Sam?
-What are you doing here?
733
01:01:23,038 --> 01:01:25,029
Wondering why you and I aren't dancing.
734
01:01:25,624 --> 01:01:27,706
Well, for one thing, there is no music.
735
01:01:27,918 --> 01:01:29,875
A mere technicality.
736
01:01:32,130 --> 01:01:35,543
The last time we even
thought about dancing together,
737
01:01:36,218 --> 01:01:37,754
I wound up drunk and disorderly.
738
01:01:37,970 --> 01:01:40,678
No, no. You were charming. No, really, no.
739
01:01:40,889 --> 01:01:43,347
No, I'm glad we spiked the fondue.
740
01:01:43,559 --> 01:01:47,473
Otherwise I might never have known
there was another Sam Perkins.
741
01:01:47,854 --> 01:01:49,185
Are you sure there is?
742
01:01:50,148 --> 01:01:51,764
Ladies and gentlemen,
743
01:01:51,984 --> 01:01:55,227
Sam Perkins is alive and in Venice tonight.
744
01:02:04,413 --> 01:02:06,654
You had me fooled for a minute.
745
01:02:07,291 --> 01:02:10,409
I thought you were
just another American lady executive,
746
01:02:10,961 --> 01:02:15,296
self-made, independent,
ambitious, ambivalent.
747
01:02:15,507 --> 01:02:19,125
Over here for a few weeks to decide
about marrying... What's his name?
748
01:02:20,554 --> 01:02:21,715
George.
749
01:02:34,359 --> 01:02:35,724
Charlie?
750
01:02:36,153 --> 01:02:37,860
Right here, love.
751
01:02:40,282 --> 01:02:43,525
What makes you so sure
I'm not the stereotype, too?
752
01:02:44,244 --> 01:02:46,906
Because you're so worried you might be.
753
01:02:47,164 --> 01:02:51,624
And because behind that department
store front there lurks an adorable,
754
01:02:51,835 --> 01:02:55,703
vulnerable, comical little waif with
her nose pressed up against the glass,
755
01:02:56,256 --> 01:02:58,714
looking out at the world
as if it were one great big pastry
756
01:02:58,925 --> 01:03:00,882
because she'd love to
reach out and taste it.
757
01:03:01,094 --> 01:03:05,179
But she doesn't dare.
And because of the effect she's having
758
01:03:05,682 --> 01:03:08,265
on one very well-traveled bloke
759
01:03:09,061 --> 01:03:13,555
whose rule up to now was always
never to get involved with a lady tourist.
760
01:03:17,653 --> 01:03:20,315
I wonder if George
ever thought of me as a waif.
761
01:03:20,530 --> 01:03:22,487
-You heard about the new tour rule?
-No.
762
01:03:22,699 --> 01:03:25,566
George's name
is never to be mentioned again.
763
01:03:25,786 --> 01:03:27,868
You are a hard man, Charlie Brown.
764
01:03:28,080 --> 01:03:29,912
Come by it honestly, I did.
765
01:03:30,123 --> 01:03:31,488
Brought up in the streets, I was.
766
01:03:31,708 --> 01:03:33,119
Where were your folks?
767
01:03:33,335 --> 01:03:35,542
In the streets. They were buskers.
768
01:03:35,754 --> 01:03:36,835
Buskers?
769
01:03:37,047 --> 01:03:40,915
Little groups of street entertainers
who perform for handouts.
770
01:03:41,134 --> 01:03:42,545
They used to be all over London.
771
01:03:42,761 --> 01:03:46,379
You know, we'd see a nice,
rich American lady, like you,
772
01:03:46,598 --> 01:03:48,760
then we'd break into our act.
773
01:03:49,893 --> 01:03:51,850
-You don't believe me, do you?
-l do.
774
01:03:52,062 --> 01:03:53,473
-No, you don't.
-Yes, I do.
775
01:03:53,689 --> 01:03:56,147
I'll have to show you. You watch.
776
01:04:01,154 --> 01:04:04,818
I'm quite satisfied
777
01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:08,283
With a pretty little girl like you
778
01:04:09,996 --> 01:04:12,909
You're good enough for me
779
01:04:14,292 --> 01:04:17,034
If I'm good enough for you
780
01:04:18,672 --> 01:04:22,210
I'd be gratified
781
01:04:22,426 --> 01:04:25,384
If you'd be my little loving wife
782
01:04:26,930 --> 01:04:30,639
Say, say, say, won't you name the day
783
01:04:30,851 --> 01:04:34,139
I'd be satisfied for life
784
01:04:47,451 --> 01:04:49,067
Don't throw money.
785
01:04:50,662 --> 01:04:52,323
Throw kisses.
786
01:04:57,711 --> 01:04:58,826
Sam.
787
01:06:15,997 --> 01:06:18,739
You go ahead. I'll be up in five minutes.
788
01:06:22,504 --> 01:06:23,835
228, please.
789
01:06:26,299 --> 01:06:27,630
417.
790
01:06:29,886 --> 01:06:31,376
Also your messages, signore.
791
01:06:31,596 --> 01:06:33,678
-She called seven times.
-Wrong number.
792
01:06:35,058 --> 01:06:37,095
-Hello, Samantha.
-George!
793
01:06:37,727 --> 01:06:39,968
I know I'm the last person
you expected to see in Italy,
794
01:06:40,438 --> 01:06:42,224
but I just plain couldn't go
the full 18 days without you.
795
01:06:42,440 --> 01:06:44,977
-Hello, George.
-And goodbye, Charlie.
796
01:06:45,193 --> 01:06:48,527
Samantha.
Travel evidently agrees with you.
797
01:06:49,155 --> 01:06:52,864
You look absolutely great.
Better than ever, as a matter of fact.
798
01:07:03,044 --> 01:07:06,787
Well, as we used to say in Anzio,
on to Rome.
799
01:07:07,299 --> 01:07:10,337
-Where all roads lead.
-Rome's my last chance.
800
01:07:10,677 --> 01:07:13,840
If I don't find Irma,
I go home without a wife.
801
01:07:14,139 --> 01:07:16,096
Better than not going home at all.
802
01:07:16,308 --> 01:07:18,390
Or going home with a wife you don't want.
803
01:07:18,602 --> 01:07:22,596
-l beg your pardon?
-No, I didn't mean him. I meant me.
804
01:07:26,651 --> 01:07:29,860
I guess it was a mistake for me
just to pack up and come over here.
805
01:07:30,071 --> 01:07:33,689
But I was worried about you from the
minute I took you to the airport that day.
806
01:07:33,909 --> 01:07:36,196
Remember? It was raining like mad.
807
01:07:36,536 --> 01:07:38,243
I know it's silly of me.
808
01:07:38,622 --> 01:07:42,160
God knows you're a grown girl
and can take care of yourself.
809
01:07:43,418 --> 01:07:46,501
Now that I am here, I can see
why you were anxious to make this trip.
810
01:07:46,713 --> 01:07:49,421
After all, these are foreign countries
811
01:07:50,175 --> 01:07:53,293
and the unknown
always has a certain attraction.
812
01:07:55,055 --> 01:07:58,798
And it's a good bunch you've got here.
Lot of fun.
813
01:07:59,559 --> 01:08:00,765
Samantha...
814
01:08:01,019 --> 01:08:05,388
Well, didn't you hear me, honey,
or don't you want to?
815
01:08:07,484 --> 01:08:09,020
It's not that, George.
816
01:08:14,616 --> 01:08:16,527
Why so silent, Mr. Cartwright?
817
01:08:16,701 --> 01:08:18,237
Too much Venice?
818
01:08:18,453 --> 01:08:19,534
Too much vino, Charlie?
819
01:08:20,830 --> 01:08:21,945
Nothing much to say, I guess.
820
01:08:22,165 --> 01:08:25,908
Well, if you won't entertain us, I guess
we'll have to entertain ourselves.
821
01:08:26,127 --> 01:08:27,743
Why don't we all sing something?
822
01:08:27,963 --> 01:08:29,203
Did she say sing?
823
01:08:29,422 --> 01:08:31,709
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
824
01:08:31,925 --> 01:08:33,211
I'm afraid she did.
825
01:08:33,426 --> 01:08:37,135
Merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream
826
01:08:37,389 --> 01:08:41,257
Merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream
827
01:08:41,476 --> 01:08:45,185
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
828
01:08:45,855 --> 01:08:49,393
Merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream
829
01:08:49,609 --> 01:08:53,068
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
830
01:09:38,908 --> 01:09:41,024
The colonnade was designed
by Bernini,
831
01:09:41,244 --> 01:09:43,952
and the dome
by none other than Michelangelo.
832
01:09:44,164 --> 01:09:46,872
I wonder if the pizza's as good here
as it is back home.
833
01:09:47,459 --> 01:09:50,793
Hey, this place is so big,
maybe we'd better split up.
834
01:09:51,004 --> 01:09:53,792
Okay, you take the inside,
I'll take the outside.
835
01:09:55,175 --> 01:09:57,917
Fred, how can you come
all the way to Rome
836
01:09:58,136 --> 01:09:59,718
and then refuse to go into St. Peter's?
837
01:09:59,929 --> 01:10:02,921
Edna, if you drag me into one
more church, I swear I'm going to...
838
01:10:03,141 --> 01:10:04,723
Don't swear here.
839
01:10:07,896 --> 01:10:11,855
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven...
840
01:10:12,067 --> 01:10:13,557
Well, now you all know, people,
841
01:10:13,777 --> 01:10:16,269
that after this official group photograph
has been taken for posterity,
842
01:10:16,488 --> 01:10:18,354
of which you will each receive one copy
843
01:10:18,573 --> 01:10:20,063
compliments of World Wind Tours,
844
01:10:20,283 --> 01:10:22,194
we'll have the rest of the afternoon free
before we meet for
845
01:10:22,410 --> 01:10:25,448
our farewell evening dinner
at the Grotto del Piccione.
846
01:10:26,748 --> 01:10:27,738
Now where was I?
847
01:10:27,957 --> 01:10:28,788
Here. I'm 12.
848
01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:30,991
Come, come, Shelly.
You'll never see 16 again.
849
01:10:31,211 --> 01:10:34,954
Number 12, 13, 14...
Are we missing George?
850
01:10:35,632 --> 01:10:36,622
It's too soon to tell.
851
01:10:36,841 --> 01:10:39,754
I guess he's the kind
that takes no for an answer.
852
01:10:39,969 --> 01:10:42,381
Antonio, whenever you're ready.
853
01:10:43,389 --> 01:10:44,925
Now, paesanos...
854
01:10:49,270 --> 01:10:53,138
I don't know about this guy, but
wait until you see the pictures we took.
855
01:10:53,525 --> 01:10:56,108
I think my best shots
were of Jack on the Rhine.
856
01:10:56,361 --> 01:10:59,604
And I got one just the way
I always want to remember you.
857
01:10:59,906 --> 01:11:02,864
And how about the one
of the two of us at Marble Arch?
858
01:11:03,076 --> 01:11:06,194
I'm glad I got a shot of Irma
before she got lost.
859
01:11:11,918 --> 01:11:13,534
Miss Sam.
860
01:11:15,421 --> 01:11:17,537
How are you planning
to spend your free afternoon?
861
01:11:17,757 --> 01:11:19,623
I'm going to rent a car
and see more of Rome.
862
01:11:19,843 --> 01:11:20,753
Great.
863
01:11:21,845 --> 01:11:23,711
Alone, please, Charlie.
864
01:11:24,347 --> 01:11:25,929
It's a free country.
865
01:11:49,706 --> 01:11:52,243
Now, you're dead sure
this is the right place?
866
01:11:52,625 --> 01:11:56,994
-Number-o thirty-one-0? No mistake-o0?
-Si, si.
867
01:11:57,922 --> 01:11:59,538
Keep the change-o.
868
01:12:43,218 --> 01:12:44,174
Excuse me,
869
01:12:45,345 --> 01:12:48,212
I think I'm in the wrong place.
870
01:12:53,186 --> 01:12:54,972
Speak the English?
871
01:12:58,691 --> 01:13:01,854
I don't know if you can understand me,
872
01:13:03,112 --> 01:13:07,606
but I'd like to have
a pair of shoes made for myself.
873
01:13:21,839 --> 01:13:24,251
Cheap-o.
874
01:13:29,555 --> 01:13:31,512
You mean the color.
875
01:13:31,724 --> 01:13:33,965
- Colore.
- I'd really like tan.
876
01:13:34,477 --> 01:13:35,933
Tan, tan, tan.
877
01:13:36,187 --> 01:13:38,929
-Tan.
-Tan, che tan?
878
01:13:40,400 --> 01:13:44,314
Light brown. The same color
the salesman from Des Moines bought.
879
01:13:47,156 --> 01:13:49,693
-Mr. Bellkamp.
-Betman?
880
01:13:49,909 --> 01:13:53,698
Signor Arthur Bellkamp.
A very good customer of yours.
881
01:13:54,080 --> 01:13:57,163
He bought tan. This.
882
01:13:59,252 --> 01:14:01,368
But light, tan.
883
01:14:04,882 --> 01:14:06,372
Tan! You understand tan?
884
01:14:07,635 --> 01:14:09,125
Look, look.
885
01:14:09,345 --> 01:14:13,714
You mix brown and white together
and you get tan.
886
01:14:16,519 --> 01:14:18,851
Yeah. Very good, good-o.
887
01:14:19,314 --> 01:14:24,559
Now, I'll give you my card in America,
888
01:14:25,820 --> 01:14:28,903
and when the shoes are ready,
you send them to me. Si?
889
01:14:32,660 --> 01:14:34,526
Now we bargain, right?
890
01:14:36,539 --> 01:14:37,745
How much?
891
01:14:41,627 --> 01:14:42,958
Too much.
892
01:14:45,882 --> 01:14:46,963
Deal-o.
893
01:14:47,842 --> 01:14:54,179
Now, I will give you a small deposit,
894
01:14:55,141 --> 01:15:00,056
but how do I know you'll send the shoes?
895
01:15:17,955 --> 01:15:21,698
You mean you'd trust me to send
you the money after I get the shoes?
896
01:15:21,918 --> 01:15:23,249
- Si.
- In America?
897
01:15:23,461 --> 01:15:26,874
-In America.
-l want to shake your hand, sir.
898
01:15:29,884 --> 01:15:31,545
-Ciao.
-And how, ciao.
899
01:16:17,390 --> 01:16:20,803
"Dear fellows,
when in Rome, do as the Romans do.
900
01:16:21,269 --> 01:16:23,010
"I did. Here she is."
901
01:16:26,065 --> 01:16:27,271
Okay.
902
01:16:30,403 --> 01:16:36,319
Thank you. Yeah, 4,000, right?
903
01:16:36,617 --> 01:16:40,485
-One, two, three, four.
-Grazie.
904
01:16:40,705 --> 01:16:41,615
Thank you.
905
01:16:53,718 --> 01:16:56,005
No, no, that's the deal I gave.
906
01:17:09,358 --> 01:17:12,601
-Don't go.
-l have to, mission accomplished.
907
01:17:12,945 --> 01:17:16,859
Well, I leave Rome tomorrow anyway,
so why can't you wait just one more day?
908
01:17:17,074 --> 01:17:18,530
I'm finito in this town.
909
01:17:18,743 --> 01:17:22,077
With 180 of our kids in jail,
our protest has been delivered.
910
01:17:22,288 --> 01:17:25,371
They gave me four hours
to leave the country, like, eight hours ago.
911
01:17:25,583 --> 01:17:27,790
Hey, you could go to
our farewell dinner with me tonight.
912
01:17:28,002 --> 01:17:29,413
They'd never think
of looking for you there.
913
01:17:29,629 --> 01:17:32,417
Your old man would blow the whistle
before they served the soup.
914
01:17:32,632 --> 01:17:35,920
I'd leave the place with you
if he tried anything like that.
915
01:17:36,135 --> 01:17:37,967
You'd defy your father?
916
01:17:38,387 --> 01:17:40,799
-Do you know how groovy that is?
-Yeah.
917
01:17:45,269 --> 01:17:47,226
Won't we ever see each other again?
918
01:17:47,438 --> 01:17:48,644
Today is what's important.
919
01:17:48,856 --> 01:17:51,974
Tomorrow's for the birds.
Your father's generation proved that.
920
01:17:52,193 --> 01:17:56,107
I know. I just hope someday you
demonstrate in Charlotte, North Carolina.
921
01:17:56,322 --> 01:17:58,188
Cool it, please.
922
01:18:00,076 --> 01:18:01,066
Here.
923
01:18:12,046 --> 01:18:14,128
Mr. Smith? Prego.
924
01:18:18,177 --> 01:18:19,793
Thank you.
925
01:18:27,770 --> 01:18:28,726
Psst.
926
01:18:30,982 --> 01:18:34,600
This cousin of mine,
is she in the lobby right now?
927
01:18:34,819 --> 01:18:36,435
No, but she has telephoned three times
928
01:18:36,654 --> 01:18:40,113
and she has been here twice
since you left this morning.
929
01:18:40,533 --> 01:18:44,242
If she comes back,
you tell her I checked out.
930
01:18:48,457 --> 01:18:54,043
Gina, I don't know if you remember me.
Jack Harmon.
931
01:18:55,548 --> 01:19:01,419
Jack Harmon, yeah, yeah, right.
932
01:19:01,721 --> 01:19:04,008
Yeah, Sergento Giovanni.
933
01:19:04,307 --> 01:19:10,144
Yeah. Si. I'm back in Rome.
Yeah, talk about a coincidence.
934
01:19:10,521 --> 01:19:13,513
Listen, I'm right across the street. Yeah.
935
01:19:14,692 --> 01:19:15,978
What? Right now?
936
01:19:16,819 --> 01:19:19,311
Yeah, I think I could manage that.
937
01:19:27,830 --> 01:19:28,820
Hi.
938
01:19:29,707 --> 01:19:32,074
-Hi.
-Prego. Come in.
939
01:19:50,019 --> 01:19:53,387
It's amazing, the place looks
just exactly the way I remember it.
940
01:19:59,111 --> 01:20:01,022
I try to keep it always the same.
941
01:20:02,698 --> 01:20:06,066
As a matter of fact, I think it even looks
better than I remember it.
942
01:20:06,410 --> 01:20:08,697
You know, sunny, nice.
943
01:20:09,789 --> 01:20:12,372
Because there is no war this time?
944
01:20:12,708 --> 01:20:14,244
So do you, Gina.
945
01:20:16,712 --> 01:20:19,079
You look positively great.
946
01:20:19,924 --> 01:20:21,756
And a little older?
947
01:20:22,343 --> 01:20:25,586
Well, the whole world
is a little older these days.
948
01:20:27,556 --> 01:20:29,968
At least it felt that way
until a few minutes ago.
949
01:20:33,979 --> 01:20:37,847
-Yours?
-No, my daughter's.
950
01:20:47,034 --> 01:20:48,741
Signore, signore,
951
01:20:48,953 --> 01:20:51,741
maybe signore will buy
a souvenir of Roma.
952
01:20:51,956 --> 01:20:53,117
Buy?
953
01:20:56,293 --> 01:20:58,580
Maybe it's better
that it ended when it did?
954
01:20:58,796 --> 01:21:01,504
While it was still perfect.
955
01:21:03,926 --> 01:21:10,138
-Is he your daughter's, too?
-No, mine.
956
01:21:11,892 --> 01:21:12,802
Yeah, well...
957
01:21:14,186 --> 01:21:16,598
I guess I'd better go back
to the hotel before my wife thinks
958
01:21:16,814 --> 01:21:18,805
you and I took up where we left off.
959
01:21:20,025 --> 01:21:22,813
Your wife is a lucky woman,
whoever she is.
960
01:21:23,487 --> 01:21:25,569
Yeah. Goodbye, Gina.
961
01:21:29,618 --> 01:21:32,485
I almost forgot.
962
01:21:37,293 --> 01:21:39,785
- For the bambinos.
- Grazie.
963
01:21:40,921 --> 01:21:43,379
Might as well give them that, too.
964
01:22:12,870 --> 01:22:17,239
Excuse me, sir. I am terribly sorry.
It's all my fault.
965
01:22:17,458 --> 01:22:19,699
You see, I don't understand
these crazy signs.
966
01:22:24,423 --> 01:22:28,667
No, no, I don't speak Italian but if there's
any problem, here's my driver's license.
967
01:22:34,475 --> 01:22:36,136
No, no. You don't understand.
968
01:22:45,653 --> 01:22:46,609
I have money.
969
01:22:47,613 --> 01:22:48,603
Lira. Lira.
970
01:22:52,701 --> 01:22:55,113
Doesn't anybody here speak English?
971
01:23:29,280 --> 01:23:31,442
I've always suspected those two.
972
01:23:31,657 --> 01:23:33,273
You always suspect everybody.
973
01:23:33,784 --> 01:23:36,742
It's called Calamaretti alla Romana.
974
01:23:36,954 --> 01:23:38,945
I still don't know what it is, but it's great.
975
01:23:39,164 --> 01:23:40,575
It's squid.
976
01:23:43,294 --> 01:23:45,626
Well, if you only wanted
hamburgers and packaged rolls,
977
01:23:45,838 --> 01:23:47,749
you should never have left the sticks.
978
01:23:48,841 --> 01:23:50,457
What the hell? I was enjoying it.
979
01:23:50,676 --> 01:23:52,212
Ever since he went
to that Roman shoemaker,
980
01:23:52,428 --> 01:23:54,840
he's been completely brainwashed.
981
01:23:58,726 --> 01:24:01,969
- Your wife?
- No. No.
982
01:24:08,235 --> 01:24:09,475
Franco.
983
01:24:31,926 --> 01:24:32,836
Sam?
984
01:24:33,469 --> 01:24:35,210
Thank you for coming.
985
01:24:35,429 --> 01:24:37,136
- Put this on.
- I'm not cold.
986
01:24:37,348 --> 01:24:39,806
-Stop fighting me.
-Yes, Charlie.
987
01:24:40,017 --> 01:24:42,008
-You're going for a ride.
-Yes, Charlie.
988
01:24:48,484 --> 01:24:50,851
I'm going to take you on
our special Rome By Night tour
989
01:24:51,070 --> 01:24:52,560
to make up for all this.
990
01:24:52,780 --> 01:24:54,487
But shouldn't we be
at the farewell dinner tonight?
991
01:24:54,698 --> 01:24:57,781
Eighteen Yanks in paper party hats
will never miss us.
992
01:24:57,993 --> 01:24:59,609
How to lose a job in one easy lesson.
993
01:24:59,828 --> 01:25:01,910
There are many other jobs,
but not too many other...
994
01:25:02,122 --> 01:25:03,032
Look at me.
995
01:25:03,248 --> 01:25:06,707
And where are you going to take a girl
who's just fallen into a fountain?
996
01:25:10,005 --> 01:25:12,838
Like falling off a horse. I reckon you had
to get right back on one again.
997
01:25:15,427 --> 01:25:17,509
Welcome to the Villa D'Este.
998
01:25:36,657 --> 01:25:38,773
You're a funny man, Charlie.
999
01:25:39,368 --> 01:25:41,575
Funny strange or funny "ha ha"?
1000
01:25:43,831 --> 01:25:45,413
Funny unpredictable.
1001
01:25:45,624 --> 01:25:47,114
I never know what you're gonna do next.
1002
01:25:47,334 --> 01:25:51,202
I do. I'll be guiding
World Wind Tour Number 226.
1003
01:25:51,672 --> 01:25:52,628
Why?
1004
01:25:52,840 --> 01:25:55,923
Because this is
World Wind Tour Number 225.
1005
01:25:56,135 --> 01:25:57,876
How long are you going to be doing that?
1006
01:25:58,095 --> 01:26:01,258
Until they find your bleached white bones
pointing to some monument?
1007
01:26:01,473 --> 01:26:04,215
-No, I'll quit one day.
-And do what?
1008
01:26:05,894 --> 01:26:07,726
I'll put out a small, inexpensive newspaper
1009
01:26:07,938 --> 01:26:10,771
in four or five languages
for the tourists in Europe.
1010
01:26:10,983 --> 01:26:12,815
Tell them what's on, what's off,
1011
01:26:13,027 --> 01:26:14,734
where the bargains are, where to eat,
1012
01:26:14,945 --> 01:26:19,985
concerts, plays, girlie shows, festivals,
horse races. You name it, we'll print it.
1013
01:26:21,285 --> 01:26:24,448
And I could keep traveling around,
alone in my own car,
1014
01:26:24,663 --> 01:26:27,621
getting news, never getting bored.
1015
01:26:30,169 --> 01:26:31,830
None of it will ever happen.
1016
01:26:32,588 --> 01:26:35,455
Why? It sounds like a great idea.
1017
01:26:36,091 --> 01:26:37,707
It is.
1018
01:26:37,926 --> 01:26:41,009
For someone who's ready
to take on responsibility.
1019
01:26:41,638 --> 01:26:42,594
Not me.
1020
01:26:46,685 --> 01:26:48,392
Maybe you'll change someday.
1021
01:26:49,646 --> 01:26:50,852
Wouldn't that be nice?
1022
01:26:57,029 --> 01:27:00,442
All I can tell you is,
her name is Irma Blakely.
1023
01:27:01,158 --> 01:27:07,325
Irma! Capital "I," small "R,"
small "M,"” small "A."
1024
01:27:10,292 --> 01:27:14,206
Well, I'm calling you because
I'm calling every possible hotel in Rome.
1025
01:27:14,922 --> 01:27:17,038
This is a dire emergency.
1026
01:27:18,801 --> 01:27:20,792
You're the what?
1027
01:27:22,221 --> 01:27:27,716
The Y.M.C.A. All capital letters.
I know. I know.
1028
01:27:37,194 --> 01:27:38,730
And now, to show my appreciation,
1029
01:27:38,946 --> 01:27:41,938
I would like very much
from the audience a man.
1030
01:27:42,199 --> 01:27:43,280
Me, me, me, me, me.
1031
01:27:45,202 --> 01:27:47,534
A man that will dance
with the girls.
1032
01:27:51,500 --> 01:27:53,662
Mamma mia! Isn't there anyone?
1033
01:27:54,336 --> 01:27:56,327
There is my man.
1034
01:27:59,174 --> 01:28:01,336
No, no, no, look,
I'm a married man. I'm a married man
1035
01:28:01,552 --> 01:28:04,010
I can't even do the fox trot.
1036
01:28:04,221 --> 01:28:05,677
Okay, girls, azione.
1037
01:28:07,641 --> 01:28:08,506
I can't.
1038
01:28:59,193 --> 01:29:00,934
Harvey Blakely!
1039
01:29:03,280 --> 01:29:05,772
Irma! That's my wife.
1040
01:29:06,909 --> 01:29:09,116
I wish I was dead.
1041
01:29:09,328 --> 01:29:10,944
Irma! Irma, darling!
1042
01:29:11,163 --> 01:29:13,450
-Don't touch me!
-Irma, it's me!
1043
01:29:13,665 --> 01:29:18,125
No, it's not!
It's some playboy I never knew!
1044
01:30:05,550 --> 01:30:06,585
Hi.
1045
01:30:07,761 --> 01:30:08,751
Good morning.
1046
01:30:10,264 --> 01:30:12,221
It's a beautiful morning.
1047
01:30:12,891 --> 01:30:16,179
-Weatherwise.
-And otherwise.
1048
01:30:18,063 --> 01:30:21,897
Your friend is very generous
to let you stay here when you're in Rome.
1049
01:30:22,109 --> 01:30:26,945
-Only when he's not in Rome.
-He's missing a fantastic view.
1050
01:30:27,906 --> 01:30:31,115
-That he is.
-You like it?
1051
01:30:32,828 --> 01:30:34,193
Very chic.
1052
01:30:34,746 --> 01:30:38,865
It's a new line from my department,
I'll call it the shirt-off-his-back model.
1053
01:30:39,084 --> 01:30:41,291
-You think they'll go for it?
-In droves.
1054
01:30:41,503 --> 01:30:42,868
Especially if you're in it.
1055
01:30:43,088 --> 01:30:45,500
That may limit the sale to just one.
1056
01:30:45,716 --> 01:30:48,504
Sold to this customer,
the man with the gleam in his eye.
1057
01:30:49,886 --> 01:30:51,797
-Still, Charlie?
-Brighter than ever.
1058
01:30:52,889 --> 01:30:54,846
-You know what?
-What?
1059
01:30:55,517 --> 01:30:57,258
The bus leaves for the airport
in two hours.
1060
01:30:57,477 --> 01:30:59,639
You know,
you sound like me two weeks ago.
1061
01:30:59,855 --> 01:31:01,596
A walking time schedule.
1062
01:31:02,649 --> 01:31:05,437
The best two weeks
a girl from Minneapolis ever had.
1063
01:31:07,154 --> 01:31:09,441
Don't go back, Sam.
1064
01:31:09,865 --> 01:31:12,197
Charlie, I'm a square.
1065
01:31:13,118 --> 01:31:15,325
I have to know where I'm headed.
I can't just drift.
1066
01:31:15,537 --> 01:31:18,871
Look, we drifted into this
and it's not all that bad, is it?
1067
01:31:20,250 --> 01:31:22,787
It's perfect. That's what's so scary.
1068
01:31:23,462 --> 01:31:25,954
-You're scared?
-Not you, too?
1069
01:31:27,090 --> 01:31:28,376
Petrified.
1070
01:31:28,759 --> 01:31:33,970
-But why?
-To find I'm in love enormously.
1071
01:31:37,768 --> 01:31:39,475
Charlie.
1072
01:31:39,686 --> 01:31:43,805
-I'll miss my plane.
-Wouldn't that be nice?
1073
01:31:53,367 --> 01:31:55,404
Mr. Marino, please.
1074
01:31:57,204 --> 01:32:01,323
Giovanni? Giovanni?
Giovanni Marinamanno?
1075
01:32:01,708 --> 01:32:04,700
-Yeah.
-lo your cousin-o.
1076
01:32:06,254 --> 01:32:08,541
You're the cousin I've been avoid...
1077
01:32:08,757 --> 01:32:11,044
Well, my heartfelt condolences,
Mr. Marino, but we've got to go.
1078
01:32:27,150 --> 01:32:30,984
So, that's the relative that was leaving
all those messages for you.
1079
01:32:32,572 --> 01:32:34,529
I missed her completely.
1080
01:32:35,826 --> 01:32:37,567
Look who's talking.
1081
01:32:45,127 --> 01:32:48,210
Sometime, if I'm out your way,
I'd like to meet your kids.
1082
01:32:48,422 --> 01:32:50,663
How about Christmas?
You must get a few days off.
1083
01:32:50,882 --> 01:32:53,465
How about Thanksgiving? That's sooner.
1084
01:32:54,177 --> 01:32:55,133
Psst.
1085
01:33:01,893 --> 01:33:04,134
Nuts. I've run out of ink.
1086
01:33:04,729 --> 01:33:07,972
Edna, next year
I won't even let you take a pen.
1087
01:33:08,733 --> 01:33:11,395
Next year? Where are we going next year?
1088
01:33:11,862 --> 01:33:16,322
- Romantic Scandinavia.
- Fred.
1089
01:33:20,245 --> 01:33:22,953
You know where I'd like to go next year?
1090
01:33:25,208 --> 01:33:28,041
Where?
All the places you missed this year?
1091
01:33:28,336 --> 01:33:31,624
Japan. I got lots of friends there now.
1092
01:34:12,923 --> 01:34:15,631
- Mr. Greenfield. Safe trip.
- Thanks for everything.
1093
01:34:15,842 --> 01:34:17,128
-Mrs. Gooding.
-Bye bye.
1094
01:34:17,344 --> 01:34:19,426
-Charlie, thanks for everything.
-Pleasure, Mr. Harmon.
1095
01:34:19,638 --> 01:34:21,720
-Charlie, have you seen Irma?
-First one through.
1096
01:34:21,932 --> 01:34:24,344
-You're a life saver.
-Look after her.
1097
01:34:24,726 --> 01:34:28,640
You won't believe this, Charlie boy,
but I'm actually sorry I'm leaving.
1098
01:34:29,814 --> 01:34:31,225
I'm delighted.
1099
01:34:31,441 --> 01:34:34,103
And I'm going to give you a great big kiss.
1100
01:34:34,486 --> 01:34:35,817
Edna.
1101
01:34:36,029 --> 01:34:37,736
-Bye, Mrs. Ferguson.
-Thanks a zillion.
1102
01:34:37,948 --> 01:34:40,986
Shelly, it's a pleasure.
Don't miss the flight.
1103
01:34:41,576 --> 01:34:42,657
Miss Sam...
1104
01:34:42,869 --> 01:34:45,531
Trans World Airlines
Starstream Flight 841,
1105
01:34:45,747 --> 01:34:48,705
Royal Ambassador service,
nonstop to New York.
1106
01:34:48,917 --> 01:34:51,534
Now in the final boarding process
at Gate 11.
1107
01:34:51,753 --> 01:34:53,414
All passengers should be on board.
1108
01:34:53,630 --> 01:34:55,041
Marry me.
1109
01:35:05,225 --> 01:35:06,556
It won't work.
1110
01:35:06,768 --> 01:35:09,760
Why not? Why not?
1111
01:35:09,980 --> 01:35:11,721
You're the first girl
I've ever asked to marry me.
1112
01:35:11,940 --> 01:35:13,772
Surely that must prove something.
1113
01:35:13,984 --> 01:35:17,022
It proves I'm a little more special
than I thought I was.
1114
01:35:17,237 --> 01:35:19,069
And for that I thank you.
1115
01:35:19,281 --> 01:35:22,569
Charlie, you're a very special man
to be loved by.
1116
01:35:23,451 --> 01:35:25,237
Why, if it weren't for you,
I might have married George
1117
01:35:25,453 --> 01:35:26,818
and that would have been idiotic?
1118
01:35:27,038 --> 01:35:28,870
Well, what will you do?
1119
01:35:30,542 --> 01:35:32,408
-I don't know. Think.
-No, don't.
1120
01:35:32,627 --> 01:35:34,789
Look, for the first time in your life,
take a chance.
1121
01:35:35,005 --> 01:35:36,370
Leap before you look.
1122
01:35:36,590 --> 01:35:38,001
That's not me.
1123
01:35:38,466 --> 01:35:40,298
Can't you think over here?
1124
01:35:40,760 --> 01:35:43,422
Back in Minneapolis
there are no Rhine castles
1125
01:35:43,638 --> 01:35:47,506
and there are no gondolas and
there's no bloody magic to confuse me.
1126
01:35:47,851 --> 01:35:49,717
Sam! You'd better come right now.
1127
01:35:49,936 --> 01:35:53,224
Samantha, love,
it's not that bloody difficult.
1128
01:35:53,898 --> 01:35:59,064
All you've got to decide is whether you
want to be married to me, or not to me.
1129
01:36:01,990 --> 01:36:03,822
That is the question.
1130
01:36:09,914 --> 01:36:11,245
This is the final call
1131
01:36:11,458 --> 01:36:14,951
for Trans World Airlines Starstream
Flight 841,
1132
01:36:15,170 --> 01:36:18,037
Royal Ambassador Service,
nonstop to New York.
1133
01:36:18,256 --> 01:36:21,294
Now in the final boarding process
at Gate 11.
1134
01:36:21,509 --> 01:36:23,876
All passengers should be on board.
1135
01:36:34,731 --> 01:36:36,267
Ladies and gentlemen,
1136
01:36:36,483 --> 01:36:39,145
this will be, for the next three weeks,
your home sweet home
1137
01:36:39,361 --> 01:36:41,272
away from home sweet home,
1138
01:36:41,488 --> 01:36:43,320
complete with all comforts
of same.
1139
01:36:43,823 --> 01:36:47,908
Reclining seats, which we will rotate so
that everyone gets a turn at the window.
1140
01:36:48,912 --> 01:36:50,494
Rather like a game of musical chairs.
1141
01:36:50,705 --> 01:36:52,787
That way, perhaps,
you may find yourself seated next to
1142
01:36:52,999 --> 01:36:55,457
somebody with whom
you will make beautiful music.
1143
01:36:55,669 --> 01:36:58,127
It's happened before. On this very bus.
90734
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