All language subtitles for Beyond.Clueless.2014.DVDRip.x264-RedBlade eng

- HIGH SCHOOL IS HYPNOTIC.

IT TICKS, AND TOCKS,

DRAWING US INTO A WORLD
WE KNOW ALL TOO WELL...

FROM MEMORIES, DREAMS,

AND MOST OF ALL,
FROM THE MOVIES.

THE FURTHER WE VENTURE INSIDE,

THE MORE WE GIVE OURSELVES OVER
TO ITS ETERNAL RHYTHM.

BEFORE WE KNOW IT,

WE'RE UNDER THE SPELL
OF A PARALLEL UNIVERSE.

BUSES GLIDE
INTO THE PARKING LOT.

STARS AND STRIPES HANG LIFELESS
AS ANOTHER SEMESTER UNFOLDS.

TEENS FROM ALL AROUND
FLOCK INTO THE BUILDING,

LOST IN AN ENDLESS RITUAL.

MOST REMAIN OBLIVIOUS

TO THEIR ROLE
WITHIN THIS VAST PRODUCTION,

BUT THOSE WHO WAKE
FROM THE TRANCE

AND SEE THE SYSTEM
FOR WHAT IT REALLY IS,

FIND THAT THE PATH TO FREEDOM
LIES STRAIGHT AHEAD.

THE BEST WAY
TO SURVIVE HIGH SCHOOL

IS TO PLAY
BY HIGH SCHOOL'S RULES.

TRANSFER STUDENT SARAH

UNDERSTANDS THESE RULES
BEITER THAN ANYONE

IN "THE CRAFT".

BLESSED WITH
A SUPERNATURAL GIFT,

SHE SENSES A PATH
THROUGH THE MAZE OF HIGH SCHOOL

AND SITS A COURSE
FOR WHAT LIES BEYOND.

FIRST, SHE IDENTIFIES
NATURAL ALLIES

IN BONNIE, NANCY AND ROCHELLE -
A TRIO OF GOTHIC PARIAHS

TORMENTED BY
THEIR FELLOW STUDENTS...

- HEY, SCARY BITCH ALERT.
- GOD!

I THOUGHT IT WAS SATAN.

- AND MARKED AS OUTSIDERS
BY FACTORS THEY CAN'T CONTROL.

- SHARK!

- WHY ARE YOU
DOING THIS TO ME, LAURA?

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY?

- YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW WHY?

- YES, I REALLY
WANNA KNOW WHY.

- BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE NEGROIDS.

- SORRY.

- BONDED TOGETHER,
THEY ASSERT THEIR POWER AS ONE.

- YOU GIRLS WATCH OUT
FOR THOSE WEIRDOS.

WE ARE THE WEIRDOS,
MISTER.

- AS THEY FORGE A FRESH PATH
THROUGH THE SYSTEM,

THEY LIBERATE THEMSELVES
FROM THE PAST...

- I DRINK OF MY SISTERS,

AND I ASK FOR THE ABILITY
TO NOT HATE THOSE WHO HATE ME,

ESPECIALLY RACIST
PIECES OF BLEACH-BLONDE SHIT,

LIKE LAURA LIZZIE.

- AND WREAK GRUESOME REVENGE
ON THOSE WHO'VE DONE THEM WRONG.

FOR THEM, HIGH SCHOOL
WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

BUT AS THEY SHARE OUT
SARAH'S INCREDIBLE ABILITIES

AMONGST THE GROUP...

- Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.

Light as a feather,
stiff as a board.

- THEY CEASE TO EXIST
AS DISTINCT INDIVIDUALS,

INSTEAD TAKING ON
A COLLECTIVE IDENTITY.

NANCY CAN BE NANCY...

OR SHE CAN BE SARAH,

AS THE BORDERS BETWEEN THEM
FADE AWAY.

UNNERVED BY THIS LOSS OF SELF,

SARAH TURNS HER BACK
ON THE OTHERS...

- THERE YOU ARE! WE'VE BEEN
LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU.

- AND TURNS THEM
AGAINST HER.

- WELL, IF YOU'RE
GONNA LEAVE THE CIRCLE,

YOU MIGHT WANNA THINK
ABOUT LEAVING THE SCHOOL.

- AND MAYBE THE CITY, TOO.
WE'RE NOT SURE.

- OR THE PLANET.

- DESPERATE TO MAINTAIN CONTROL,

THE TRIO JOIN FORCES
TO CRUSH SARAH'S REBELLION,

BUT WEAKENED
BY THEIR MISSING LINK,

THEY'RE HELPLESS
TO DEFEND THEMSELVES...

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

AS SHE TEARS THE PACK APART
FROM WITHIN.

- I BIND YOU, NANCY,
FROM DOING HARM...

HARM AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE
AND HARM AGAINST YOURSELF.

- WAIT. -l BIND YOU,
NANCY, FROM DOING HARM...

HARM AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE
AND HARM AGAINST YOURSELF.

- AS THE GROUP SHATFERS
BEYOND REPAIR,

POWER RETURNS
TO THE INDIVIDUAL.

- WE WERE JUST WONDERING,

DO YOU - DO YOU STILL
HAVE ANY POWERS?

-'CAUSE WE DON'T.

- HOLD YOUR BREATH
UNTIL I CALL.

- SHE PROBABLY DOESN'T HAVE
ANY POWERS ANYWAY.

- THE SPELL OF HIGH SCHOOL
IS LII-TED.

- SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING
ABOUT EVERYONE

SHE'S THE STAR,
SHE'S THE ONLY ONE TO BELONG

SHE FEELS BAD FOR YOU
THAT YOU DON'T COMPARE

SHE KNOWS IT'S HARD WHEN
SHE SEES, SHE SEES YOU STARE

SHE'S A SYMBOL
OF THE TURNING WORLD

SHE THINKS EVERYBODY'S
IN LOVE WITH HER

SHE'S A STONE-COLD FOX

SHE'S A STONE-COLD FOX

AND THE TREES, LIKE LUNGS,
FILLING UP WITH AIR

MY SISTER, THE MEAN ONE,
PULLING MY HAIR

AND THOSE GIRLS, THEY WERE
JUST WOMEN IN DISGUISE

THEY UNDERSTOOD IT ALL,
THERE WAS DARKNESS AND PAIN

IN THEIR EYES

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

- A FLURRY OF ACTIVITY

SIGNALS THE BEGINNING
OF A TRANSFORMATIVE JOURNEY

THROUGH THE TREACHEROUS
HIGH-SCHOOL SYSTEM.

AS THE NEW
SCHOOL YEAR BEGINS,

TEENS ARE POURED
INTO WHICHEVER MOLD BEST FITS.

- THESE SEATS TAKEN, HERE?

- NO, GO AHEAD.

- THE THOUGHTS AND BELIEFS
THAT MAKE THEM WHO THEY ARE

MUST BE SET ASIDE,

AS THEY IDENTIFY
THE COMMON ELEMENTS

THAT MIGHT
BOND THEM TOGETHER...

- Hl, I'M GAVIN.
THIS IS U.v.

- BECAUSE IN A WORLD
WHERE CLIQUES RULE...

- I'M STEVE.

- THEY'LL GET NOWHERE
ON THEIR OWN.

- IT'S A CLASS SYSTEM, MAN.

CHECK IT OUT.

THERE YOU GOT
YOUR MOTORHEADS, JOCKS...

ALL THE WORLD'S A GASKET,
A LUBE JOB AND A PACK OF LUCKYS.

- WE WERE THE KIDS IN HIGH SCHOOL
WHO RAN THE FUCKING SCHOOL.

THAT'S ALL IT IS.
THIS IS AN EXTENSION.

- WE WERE THE JOCKS
IN HIGH SCHOOL.

WE PLAYED THE SPORTS, WE RAN
THE SCHOOL, WE RAN THE PARTIES.

- I'M GONNA MISS THIS PLACE...

THE GAMES, THE PARTIES, ALL
THESE LOVELY WOMEN DIGGING ME.

- NOW, OVER HERE
YOU HAVE YOUR MICRO-GEEKS...

NERDS, WIZ-KIDS, AND VARIOUS
OTHER BOTFOM-FEEDERS.

MUSIC OF CHOICE...

THE SOUND OF AN APPLE PC
BEING BOOTED UP.

DRUG OF CHOICE... STEPHEN HAWKING'S
"A BRIEF HISTORY OF TIME"

AND A CUP OF JASMINE TEA
ON A SATURDAY NIGHT.

- YOU TALK WEIRD,
AND YOUR CLOTHES ARE LAME.

YOU'RE JUST
THIS WORMY LITTLE GUY

WHO SITS IN HIS ROOM
AND STUDIES.

- OVER THERE,
YOU HAVE YOUR SKATERS...

RIFFIN', RAGIN' KIDS
AND THEIR RAMP TRAMPS.

BAGGY PANTS, DICKIE WOOLS,

DOING 50-50 GRINDS
WITH A GNARLY GRAB FINISH

ON A HOMEMADE HALF PIPE.

- THEY...
THEY LOOK LIKE TRASH,

THEY'RE WEARING GARBAGE,

THEY EXTEND TO THE GREATEST
LIMITS OF - OF INSANITY

AND - AND...
AND HIDEOSITY,

AND I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THAT'S
SOMETHING THAT THEY STRIVE FOR.

- HERE'S WHERE IT GETS
REALLY NASTY.

- EVERYONE WANTED TO BE THEM.

YOU KNOW THEM.
THEY WENT TO YOUR SCHOOL, TOO.

THEY TOTALLY RULED.

- YOU KNOW, HE'S SMART,
HE'S RICH.

HE'S WI I I Y,
AND EVERYONE LIKES HIM.

- YEAH, I KNEW KIDS LIKE THAT...
SUPERSTARS OF HIGH SCHOOL.

- THAT'S IT.

LESSON OVER,
CLASS DISMEMBERED.

WELCOME TO CRADLE BAY HIGH,
STEVIE BOY.

WELCOME TO MY NIGHTMARE.

- TO A NEW ARRIVAL,
HIGH SCHOOL IS A JUNGLE.

ONLY BY FINDING
THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE

CAN A LOST AND LONELY TEEN
MAKE THEIR WAY TO SAFETY.

IN "MEAN GIRLS", NAVIGATING
THE CRUSH OF THE CAFETERIA

PROVES AN OVERWHELMING TASK
FOR NEW STUDENT CADY

UNTIL SHE COMES TO APPRECIATE
THE ORDER BENEATH THE CHAOS.

- HERE, THIS MAP IS GONNA BE
YOUR GUIDE TO NORTH SHORE.

NOW, WHERE YOU SIT
IN THE CAFETERIA IS CRUCIAL.

- A STRICT HIERARCHY

KEEPS EACH OF THE SCHOOL'S
CLIQUES IN PLACE,

DAMNING SOME TO OBSCURITY WHILE
OTHERS ARE LII-TED TO STARDOM.

MOST NOTORIOUS
ARE THE PLASTICS...

AN ELITE GANG
OF CAREFULLY SCULPTED TEENS

WHO WILL STOP AT NOTHING

TO ENSURE
THEIR CONTINUED DOMINANCE.

SO STRONG IS THEIR WILL

THAT THE CLIQUE'S SUPREMACY
GOES ENTIRELY UNQUESTIONED

BY THE REST
OF THE STUDENT BODY.

[APPLAUSE 1

THE PLASTICS OFFER TO MOLD CADY
INTO ONE OF THEIR OWN,

TRANSFORMING HER INTO
HIGH-SCHOOL ROYALTY OVERNIGHT.

- OKAY, YOU SHOULD JUST KNOW
THAT WE DON'T DO THIS A LOT,

SO THIS IS, LIKE,
A REALLY HUGE DEAL.

- WE WANT TO INVITE YOU
TO HAVE LUNCH WITH US

EVERY DAY
FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK.

- Ol-|, I-IT'S OKA-
- COOLNESS!

SO, WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

ON WEDNESDAYS,
WE WEAR PINK.

- ONCE INSIDE, SHE DISCOVERS
THE SOURCE OF THE GROUPS POWER.

TO MAINTAIN THEIR STANDING,

THEY MUST DRAW STRENGTH
FROM THEIR LESS-POPULAR PEERS.

- IT'S OUR BURN BOOK.

SEE, WE CUT OUT GIRLS' PICTURES
FROM THE YEARBOOK,

AND THEN WE WROTE COMMENTS.

"TRANG PAK
IS A GROTSKY LITTLE BYOTCH."

- STILL TRUE.

- THIS IS THE CLIQUES
ULTIMATE CONTRADICTION...

IN REALITY, THERE'S LITTLE
TO SEPARATE THE PLASTICS

FROM THEIR FELLOW
STUDENTS.

- WHY IS EVERYBODY
STRESSING OVER THIS THING?

I MEAN, IT'S JUST PLASTIC.

YOU COULD REALLY JUST...

- THEY SURVIVE ONLY BY
FEEDING ON THE APPROVAL

OF THE VERY PEOPLE
THEY MISTREAT.

- I'M SORRY THAT PEOPLE
ARE SO JEALOUS OF ME,

BUT I CAN'T HELP IT
THAT I'M POPULAR.

- WITHOUT THE SUPPORT
OF THOSE BELOW THEM,

THEY'D FALL HEADLONG
FROM THEIR PERCH.

TEENAGE LIFE
IS FOUNDED ON THIS OPEN SECRET.

- WELL, I KNOW
THIS SOUNDS CORNY,

BUT WHENEVER I FEEL
THE TEMPTATION OF PEER PRESSURE,

I TURN TO GOD AND HE
HELPS ME THROUGH THE PROBLEM.

- THAT BEAUTIFUL.

- THE ENTIRE SOCIAL FABRIC
OF HIGH SCHOOL

RESTS ON A WILLINGNESS
TO IGNORE

THE ARTIFICIAL FORCES
THAT KEEP THE CLIQUES IN PLACE.

- THIS CULTURE OF SILENCE

CAN MASK EVEN THE DARKEST
OF SECRETS,

AS A GROUP OF HIGH-SCHOOL
A-LISTERS FINDS OUT

IN "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID
LAST SUMMER."

- A TOAST...

TO US...

TO OUR LAST SUMMER OF IMMATURE,
ADOLESCENT DECADENCE.

- SOMEBODY'S BUZZED.

YO, CHUM BAIT,
TAKE A HIKE!

- AFTER ACCIDENTALLY RUNNING DOWN
A STRANGER IN THEIR CAR,

THE TEENS
ARE QUICK TO ASSUME

THAT THEY CAN STEER CLEAR
OF PUNISHMENT.

- WHAT DO WE DO?

- HELP ME.

- AS MEMBERS OF THEIR SCHOOL'S
MOST PRIVILEGED CLIQUE,

THEIR SLATES
CAN ALWAYS BE WIPED CLEAN.

- SHIT, THEY'RE SLOWING DOWN!

- THE ONLY THING
BEYOND THEIR CONTROL...

- IT'S MAX.

- GET RID OF HIM!

- LS AN OUTSIDER.

- JULIE?
WHAT YOU GOT, CAR TROUBLE?

- ACTUALLY, UM...

- L-lT'S BARRY.

HE'S HAD
WAY TOO MUCH TO DRINK,

AND WE'RE TRYING TO KEEP
THE UPCHUCK OUT OF THE NEW CAR.

- WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, MAX?

- YOU CAN WIPE THAT
MY-SHIT-DON'T-STINK GRIN

OFF YOUR FACE.

- A LONE WOLF WILL ALWAYS
BE A THREAT TO THE HERD.

- OKAY, MAX. WILL DO.

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

- WELL, I'M SURE
SHE'LL JUST BE DARLING.

- MY GOSH,
HERE THEY COME!

I'M SO EXCITED!

- FRENCH EXCHANGE STUDENT
GENEVIEVE

IS A WOLF IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING
IN "SLAP HER, SHE'S FRENCH!"

HELLO. I AM GENEVIEVE.

TAKEN UNDER THE WING OF
THE ALL-AMERICAN GRADY FAMILY...

- BONJOUR!

SHE'S LIKE NOTHING ANY
OF THEM HAVE EVER SEEN BEFORE...

SOPHISTICATED, MODEST,
AND CHARMINGLY INDIVIDUAL.

- "WHAT IS PERHAPS
MOST REFRESHING

"lS HER NATURAL APPEARANCE.

"WHAT A RELIEF FROM THE
COSMETICALLY ENHANCED BARBIES

THAT SEEM TO OVERPOPULATE
OUR SCHOOL."

- ALONG WITH THE REST
OF THEIR SMALL TEXAN TOWN,

THE GRADYS QUICKLY FALL
HEAD-OVER-HEELS IN LOVE

WITH HER IMPOSSIBLY
ROMANTIC SENSIBILITY...

A WORLD APART FROM THE PICKET
FENCES OF THE LONE STAR STATE.

- GENEVIEVE, THESE ARE MY TWO
BEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD...

ASHLEY LOPEZ
AND TANNER JENNINGS.

- HELLO.

- SO, THIS IS
OUR LITTLE FRENCH VISITOR?

- OUl.

THAT MEANS "YEAH."

IT'S WHAT HIP PEOPLE
IN FRANCE SAY.

- HEY, CUTE OUTFIT.
- I-ll.

- SOON, GENEVIEVE REPLACES THE
GRADYS' OWN DAUGHTER, STARLA,

AS QUEEN BEE
OF THEIR SUBURBAN HIGH SCHOOL.

GOOD MORNING, STARLA.

I LOVE YOUR NEW PERFUME.
WHAT'S THAT CALLED?

I REMEMBER.
IT'S CALLED "OVER!"

- YEAH?

AND IN CASE
YOU DIDN'T KNOW,

YOUR BERET
LOOKS TOTALLY RETARDED!

- BUT THE GLAMOUR OF HER BOHEMIAN
WAYS DOESN'T LAST LONG.

- MANY OF YOU MIGHT RECOGNIZE
THIS LITTLE MESS OF A GIRL.

IT'S GLARISSA VOGELSEY,
FORMERLY OF SPLENDONA, TEXAS!

- AGAINST THE MONOTONY
OF THE CLIQUES,

IT'S NO WONDER NON-CONFORMISTS
APPEAR SO EXOTIC,

BUT THEY'RE NOT ALWAYS
WHAT THEY SEEM.

- ISN'T THAT RIGHT,
CLARISSA?

YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER BITCH!

- SAY WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT ME,
BUT DON'T MESS WITH SPLENDONA!

- TO PRESERVE ORDER,

MAVERICKS LIKE GENEVIEVE
MUST BE CAST OUT

OR MADE OVER
INTO SOMETHING NEW.

CLASS PRESIDENT ZACK RULES
THE SCHOOL IN "SHE'S ALL THAT."

- WHAT'S HAPPENING, CONNIE?

HE SPOKE TO ME.

- TO PROVE HIS POWER,
HE BITS HIS JOCK BUDDIES

THAT HE CAN TRANSFORM ANY GIRL
AT SCHOOL INTO PROM QUEEN,

SUCH IS THE FORCE
OF HIS SOCIAL INFLUENCE.

- TAKE...

TAKE HER FOR EXAMPLE...

SHORT, DECENT RACK,

KIND OF A CHELSEA CLINTON THING
GOING ON,

BUT GIVEN THE RIGHT LOOK,
THE RIGHT BOYFRIEND,

BAM! IN SIX WEEKS, SHE'S THE ONE
BEING CROWNED PROM QUEEN.

- BUT WHEN THEY ELECT
HOPELESS OUTCAST LANEY

AS HIS TEST SUBJECT,

HIS CONFIDENCE IS SHAKEN.

- LOOK, FAT I CAN HANDLE.

WEIRD BOOBS, BAD PERSONALITY,
MAYBE SOME SORT OF FUNGUS.

COME ON, SCARY AND
lNACCESSIBLE'S ANOTHER STORY.

- A MEMBER OF EVEN
THE MOST LOWLY OF CLIQUES

COULD'VE BEEN RAPIDLY
PROMOTED UP THE CHAIN

TO ZACK'S STRATOSPHERE,

BUT LANEY EXISTS COMPLETELY
OUTSIDE OF THE SYSTEM.

- LANEY.

- TO REMODEL HER,

ZACK WILL HAVE TO TAKE
A SABBATICAL

FROM THE STRUCTURE
THAT'S SERVED HIM SO WELL

AND DIVE HEADFIRST

INTO THE UNCERTAIN WATERS
OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

HIS ODYSSEY BEGINS
AT A PERFORMANCE-ART SHOW.

HE DOES HIS BEST TO EMBRACE
LANEY'S WAY OF LIFE...

HACK-Y-SACK.

- BUT IT'S CLEAR

HE LONGS TO RETURN TO THE
SECURITY OF HIS LETFERMAN JACKET

AND CAREFULLY HONED
REPUTATION.

- BY CONTRAST, LANEY'S FIRST
FOOTSTEPS INTO ZACK'S DOMAIN,

BY WAY OF A SLEEK RED DRESS AND
AN IMPROMPTU MAKEOVER SESSION,

ARE A REVELATION.

- SWING THE SPINNING STEP

YOU WEAR THOSE SHOES,
AND I...

- FINALLY, HER INDIVIDUALITY
WON'T BE A BARRIER

TO HER - AND ZACK'S...
ABILITY TO GIT AHEAD.

SOON, SHE'S THE TALK
OF THE HALLWAY,

AS STUDENTS
FROM ALL CLIQUES

DELIGHT IN HER
SUDDEN EMBRACE OF THEIR WAYS.

BUT FOR ALL HER
TEMPORARY CELEBRITY,

HER NEW LOOK SOON SEES HER
FADE QUIETLY INTO THE CROWD.

LANEY'S BRAND OF REBELLION
IS EASILY QUELLED,

NOT WITH BRUTE FORCE,
BUT SOFT EMBRACE.

- BETWEEN TWO GIRLS,
WHICH ONE WE GONNA PICK?

I'D RATHER PICK LANEY 'CAUSE
TAYLOR BE TALKING - SHHHH

SHE THINKS SHE'S ALL OF THAT
WITH EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN

BUT WHO'S ABOUT TO BE
PROM QUEEN? LANEY

WELL TAYLOR USED TO BE
THE THING, BUT NOW SHE'S NOT

LANEY'S GOING FOR PROM QUEEN
AND TAYLOR'S HOT

BUT WE DON'T GIVE A DAMN
ABOUT TAYLOR VAUGHAN

'CAUSE TAYLOR'S FADING OUT
AND LANEY'S ON

IF I GOULD GIT WITH LANEY,
YO, lT'D BE REAL COOL

WITH THE QUEEN BY MY SIDE,
WE'D RUN THE WHOLE DAMN SCHOOL

- YO, KEEP IT ON THE BREAK,
AND I'MA KEEP THIS COOL

TAYLOR DITCHED ZACK
FOR A CAR AND A FOOL

ALL FOR THE HIGH-SCHOOL
JOCK NAMED BROCK,

WITH MY MAN CLICK
ON THE BEATBOX

LAN EY.

- YEAH, SHE'S ALL THAT

- WITH EVERY ROLE CAST,
THE PERFORMANCE CAN BEGIN.

I THINK IT'S THE SADDEST THING
I EVER HEARD

BUT I'VE A REPUTATION
TO UPHOLD

I HATE YOU SO MUCH
THAT IT MAKES ME SICK

BUT I DON'T TRUST MYSELF
WITH YOU, YOU KNOW?

YOU TAKE YOURSELF
TOO SERIOUSLY

I ALWAYS KNEW
IT WOULD BE LIKE THAT

YOU TAKE YOURSELF
TOO SERIOUSLY

I GUESS THIS IS A STORY
THAT MIGHT BORE YOU

ARE YOU TOO AFRAID
TO COME UP TO ME'?

WE'LL DANCE, WE'LL KISS,
THEN WE'LL GO HOME

DON'T BE WHO
THEY WANT YOU TO BE

YOU TAKE YOURSELF
TOO SERIOUSLY

- BENEATH THE CHAOTIC SURFACE
OF TEEN EXCESS

LIES A CAREFULLY ORCHESTRATED
RITUAL...

- HUNTINGTON HILLS HIGH,
KISS MY ASS!

- THE JOCKS AT THE CENTRE

SCHEMING TO PAIR THEMSELVES UP
WITH AVAILABLE GHEERLEADERS...

- THERE THEY ARE.

- COME ON.

- THE GEEKS
ON THE DOORSTEP,

DESPERATE TO BARTER
THEIR WAY INSIDE...

- THERE'S NO PARTY.

- THE BURNOUTS
ON THE FRINGES,

OBSERVING THE CHAOS
FROM AN IMPARTIAL DISTANCE.

THEY'RE TOGETHER BUT APART,
UNITED ONLY BY YOUTH

AND A FAITHFUL ADHERENCE
TO THE HIGH-SCHOOL RULE BOOK.

- THAT GIRL DIDN'T LOVE YOU.
SHE JUST FELT SORRY FOR YOU.

- NAIVE ODDBALL JIMMY
LIVES BY A STRICT SET OF RULES

IN "BUBBLE BOY".

MOST OF THEM DICTATED
BY HIS DEVOUT CHRISTIAN MOTHER,

WHO KEEPS HIM LOCKED UP
IN A STERILE PLASTIC DOME

TO PROTECT HIM FROM THE
CORRUPTION OF THE WIDER WORLD.

SHE MAINTAINS TOTAL CONTROL

OVER EVERYTHING THAT PASSES
THROUGH THE BUBBLES WALLS.

- AND THEY PINOCCHIO
CAME OUT OF HIS PLASTIC BUBBLE,

TOUCHED THE FILTHY LITTLE WHORE
NEXT DOOR, AND DIED.

THE END.

- BUT STILL,
SOME NAGGING RESISTANCE

KEEPS JIMMY FROM SUBMITTING
ENTIRELY TO HER AUTHORITY,

ESPECIALLY ONCE A RIVAL FOR HIS
AFFECTIONS ARRIVES ON THE SCENE.

- SOMETHING
WAS HAPPENING TO ME,

BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT.

MOM!

JIMMY, WHAT'S GOING ON?!

- WHAT HAPPENED'?!

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
- WHAT IS IT?!

MY GOD.

DON'T TOUGH IT!

HANDS OFF!

NOW, JUST RELAX, DON'T GET UPSET.
- IT HURTS!

- JUST - JUST DO
WHAT I TELL YOUR FATHER,

JUST SAY THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE
OVER AND OVER UNTIL IT GOES AWAY.

COME ON!

- I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,

AND TO THE REPUBLIC
FOR WHICH IT STANDS,

ONE NATION UNDER GOD,
INDIVISIBLE,

WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE
FOR ALL.

I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG
OF THE UNITED STATES...

- THE SEEDS OF DOUBT
ARE PLANTED,

AND AS JIMMY'S NEW CRUSH, CHLOE,
EDGES EVER CLOSER...

- I SUCK!

- THE BUBBLE PROVES

AN ENTIRELY INEFFECTIVE
CHASTITY BELT.

- YOU HAVE TO JUST PRESS HARDER.
- OKAY.

- HARDER HERE.

- LIKE...
- NOW GO. NOW GO.

- OKAY.

- HARDER.
- WHEN I LOOK

ALL A... ROU-ROUND...

- I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

- SOON, SHE ATFEMPTS
TO BREACH THE DOME...

- THAT'S WHY
I'M COMING IN.

- CHLOE! WAIT!
WHOA. WHOA.

- BUT JIMMY BLOCKS HER OUT,

PAYING CLOSE ATTENTION
TO HIS MOTHER'S WARNINGS.

REJECTED, CHLOE IS PROPELLED
INTO THE ARMS OF THE ANTI-JIMMY,

A SWAGGERING, MULLEFED EXTROVERT
WITH NOTHING TO HOLDHIMBACK.

- MARK, JIMMY.
JIMMY, MARK.

- SUP, JIMBO'?

- PUSHED TO THE LIMIT,
JIMMY ATFEMPTS TO RECONCILE

HIS LONGING FOR CHLOE WITH
HIS FEAR OF THE OUTSIDE WORLD.

HE GONSTRUCTS A MOBILE BUBBLE
AND TAKES IT ON THE ROAD

IN SEARCH OF ANSWERS

TO A QUESTION
HE DOESN'T FULLY UNDERSTAND.

ALONG THE WAY,
HIS CONFUSION ONLY DEEPENS.

- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!

- A BUSLOAD OF PILGRIMS

STRESS THE DANGERS
OF GIVING IN TO IMPULSE...

- FIRST, WE PREPARE OUR SOULS

BY STRIPPING OURSELVES
OF ALL MATERIAL POSSESSIONS,

AND SEXUAL DESIRES.

- WHILE A FREE-SPIRITED BIKER

ENCOURAGES HIM TO LOSE HIS
INHIBITIONS AND GO FOR IT.

- SLl M?
- YEAH.

- WHAT'S IT LIKE?

1200 CCS OF AMERICAN STEEL
VIBRATING BETWEEN YOUR LEGS!

MAN.

I'M TALKING FOURTH GEAR.

4000 RPMs!

Al!

- THAT SOUNDS AMAZING.
[CHUCKLES 1

- JIMMY IS TORN...

BUT NOT FOR LONG.

CHLOE FINALLY WITHIN HIS GRASP,
HE SHEDS THE BUBBLE FOR GOOD.

- I'D RATHER SPEND ONE MINUTE
HOLDING YOU

THAN THE REST OF MY LIFE
KNOWING I NEVER COULD.

THE RULES FALL AWAY,
AS INSTINCT TAKES OVER.

- IT'S OKAY,
I WANT YOU TO.

- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WE CAN'T...

WE CAN'T DO THIS.
WE CAN'T DO THIS.

- AS THEIR BODIES

PULL THEM EVER CLOSER
TOWARDS A SEXUAL AWAKENING,

TEENAGE MINDS EXERT
AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REACTION

TO PULL THEM AWAY

OUT IN THE OPEN, SEX SEEMS
A STRANGE AND TERRIFYING THING.

TORN BETWEEN
DESIRE AND FEAR,

TEENS ARE TRAPPED
IN A HOPELESS BATTLE...

AGAINST THEMSELVES.

IN "lDLE HANDS",
ADOLESCENT STONER ANTON

LIVES A LIFE OF QUIET APATHY
IN HIS SLEEPY SUBURBAN HOMETOWN.

HIS SEXUAL INSTINCTS, NUMBED BY
DRUGS AND BOREDOM, LIE DORMANT.

AT LEAST UNTIL HIS PUBESCENT
URGES ARE ROUSED

BY THE SUDDEN APPEARANCE
OF MOLLY,

A SOULFUL ARTIST
WHO ENTRANCES ANTON

WITH THE BEAUTY
OF HER LYRICISM...

- THESE ARE GREAT.

- AND PETRIFIES HIM WITH
THE PROSPECT OF HER SEXUALITY.

- MY BOOK!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR...

RETURNING IT.

HEY!

- SHE SPARKS IN HIM
A TOTAL PERSONALITY SHIFT,

HIS NORMAL PASSIVE SELF

MUTATING INTO AN AGGRESSIVE,
DEEPLY VOLATILE PERSONA.

- WANT A BEER'?

- NO, THANKS.
- YOU SURE'? JUST...

- WHOA.

- MICK.

- THIS NEW ANTON

LASHES OUT VIOLENTLY
AT HIS SLACKER FRIENDS

BUT WHEN CONFRONTED,
DENIES RESPONSIBILITY.

- NO MAN, I DIDN'T DO IT.

- O-OKAY, ANTON.

I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW.

- INSTEAD, HE BLAMES

THAT ULTIMATE AGENT
OF TEEN SEXUALITY...

HIS RIGHT HAND.

'AAH!

AAH!

- THE HAND TAKES ON
A MIND OF ITS OWN,

ELIMINATING ANY OBSTACLE
IN ITS PATH

AS IT SETS A COURSE
FOR THE OBJECT OF ITS AFFECTION.

PANIG-STRICKEN BY WHAT
HE APPEARS TO CRAVE,

ANTON TRIES TO RESIST
THE HAND'S IMPULSES...

- BUT THE REST OF HIS BODY
PROVES WEAK BY COMPARISON.

- LOOK, DO YOU WANT TO COME
INSIDE FOR A SECOND AND TALK?

- NO.
- YEAH?

- NO!
- OKAY.

- DESPERATE TO PUT AN END
TO THESE UNWANTED DESIRES,

HE RESOLVES
TO SEVER THE HAND,

CASTRATING HIMSELF
FROM ITS IMPURE URGES.

- IT'S A BOLD SACRIFICE...

- BUT THIS IS ONE APPETITE THAT
WON'T BE SO EASILY SUPPRESSED.

- SHIT.

- DETACHED FROM
HIS MIND AND BODY,

ANTON'S SEXUAL INSTINCTS
NOW RUN RIOT,

WITH DISASTROUS CONSEQUENCES.

RIGHT THERE.

MY GOODNESS.

- WITH SEXUAL AWAKENING
SO OFTEN ENDING IN CATASTROPHE,

IT'S NOT HARD TO SEE WHY TEENS
MIGHT BE EAGER TO PUT IT OFF.

- DOES IT HURT DOWN BY YOUR
TAILBONE, OR IT UP HIGHER?

IS - IS IT TIGHT
THROUGHOUT HERE?

- MAYBE.

- DOES IT ACHE BACK HERE?

- MIGHT.

- MY GOD.

DO YOU THINK IT'S CRAMPS?

- WOULD YOU GIVE IT
A REST FOR TWO SECONDS?...

- PAM, WE'RE EATING.
- HENRY...

THE GIRLS ARE BOTH THREE YEARS LATE
MENSTRUATING, OKAY? IT'S NOT NORMAL.

IF IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING...

- IN "GINGER SNAPS",

THE ONSET OF PUBERTY
IN TEENAGE NIHILIST GINGER

COINCIDES WITH THE BEGINNING
OF HER TRANSFORMATION

INTO A WEREWOLF.

BOTH DEVELOPMENTS TRIGGER
GRUESOME PHYSICAL CHANGES

AND EXTREME SHIFTS
IN TEMPERAMENT,

MAKING IT HARD
TO SEPARATE ONE

FROM THE OTHER.

- I'M SURE IT SEEMS LIKE
A LOT OF BLOOD.

IT'S A PERIOD!

- BUT REALLY, IT WAS LIKE...

- GEYSER.

- EVERYONE
SEEMS TO PANIC THEIR FIRST TIME.

IN THREE TO FIVE DAYS,

YOU'LL FIND LIGHTER
BRIGHT-RED BLEEDING.

THAT MAY TURN TO
A BROWNISH OR BLACKISH SLUDGE,

WHICH SIGNALS
THE END OF THE FLOW.

- OKAY, SO IT'S ALL NORMAL.
- VERY.

EXPECT IT EVERY 28 DAYS, GIVE
OR TAKE, FOR THE NEXT 30 YEARS.

- GREAT.

THAN KS.

- WHAT ABOUT, UM, HAIR
THAT WASN'T THERE BEFORE?

AND PAIN?

COMES WITH THE TERRITORY.

- FOR GINGER
AND SO MANY OTHERS LIKE HER,

BECOME LINKED...

I GET THIS ACHE.

AND I-l THOUGHT
IT WAS FOR SEX,

BUT IT'S TO TEAR EVERYTHING
TO FUCKING PIECES.

THE RESULT OF YEARS
OF CONDITIONING.

- DON'T HAVE SEX,
'CAUSE YOU WILL GET PREGNANT...

AND DIE.

DON'T HAVE SEX
IN THE MISSIONARY POSITION,

DON'T HAVE SEX
STANDING UP...

JUST DON'T DO IT.
PROMISE'?

OKAY, EVERYBODY TAKE
SOME RUBBERS.

- SUCH POWERFUL IMPULSES...

- W-WAIT A SECOND.

SOON BECOME
A SOURCE OF SHAME.

I KNOW I'M NOT
SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THIS.

IT'S BAD, WRONG.

WRONG, BAD.

NO, IT'S NOT BAD. IT'S...

JESUS CHRIST.

- WRONG, BAD.

BAD, WRONG.

WRONG, BAD.

BAD, WRONG.

- LN "THE GIRL NEXT DOOR",
HIGH-SCHOOL EVERYMAN MATTHEW

REFUSES TO EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE
HIS SEXUALITY,

INSTEAD HIDING IT AWAY

BENEATH HIS STRAIGHT-A STUDENT,
SUREFIRE VALEDIGTORIAN IMAGE.

BUT LIKE THE REST
OF HIS PEERS,

SEX EVENTUALLY FINDS
IT'S WAY INTO MA'l'l'HEW'S LIFE

IN THE FORM OF NEXT-DOOR
NEIGHBOR DANIELLE.

- MY GOD,
SHE'S SO HOT

- WHAT CHANNEL, DUDE?

- NO, TH-THE GIRL NEXT DOOR.

I-I CAN SEE HER
THROUGH MY WINDOW.

- HOW'S THE RACK?

- GOD, WHO IS THIS GIRL?

MY GOD.

- What'.7

Matt, what?

Matt...

- Dude, what the fuck...

- LARGE ON CONFIDENCE
AND SHORT ON CLOTHING,

SHE COAXES MATTHEW
OUT OF HIS SHELL,

URGING HIM TO EXPLORE HIS WILD
SIDE AND LIVE FOR THE MOMENT.

- WHAT?

- YOU SAWME.

YEAH, RIGHT, LIKE I'M
GONNA STRIP RIGHT HERE.

ARE YOU...
ARE YOU SERIOUS?

NO.

NO.

NO, NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.

- UNH-UNH.

THE WHOLE PACKAGE.

AAH!

JESUS!

- YEARS OF REPRESSION
ARE UNDONE IN A MATTER OF DAYS

AS DANIELLE TEACHES MATTHEW

TO EMBRACE HIS SEXUAL SELF,
RATHER THAN SUBDUE IT.

- SO, YOU'RE ABOUT
TO GRADUATE.

YOU MUST BE GOING NUTS
RIGHT NOW.

- YEAH.

I MEAN, ul-|

IT'S JUST BEEN,
BEEN OFF THE HOOK, YOU KNOW?

- REALLY?
- YEAH.

- SO, WHAT'S THE CRAZIEST THING
YOU'VE DONE LATELY?

- SHE SEEMS SENT FROM ABOVE

TO FULFILL HIS EVERY
MASTURBATORY FANTASY.

- HOW DO YOU WANT ME?

- BUT STILL,
HE TURNS HER DOWN.

- WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

- WHAT?

- THIS.

- ISN'T THIS WHAT YOU WANT?

- SEXISWHAT MATTHEW WANTS,

BUT NOT WITH DANIELLE,
OR AT LEAST NOT YET.

- TAKE HER TO A MOTEL ROOM,
AND BANG HER LIKE A BEAST!

- ELl, I LIKE THIS GIRL.

- AND YOU CAN STILL LIKE HER
WITH YOUR PENIS INSIDE HER.

WHEN HE DISCOVERS TO HIS HORROR
THAT SHE'S SEGRETLY A PORN STAR,

THE REVELATION
MERELY CONFIRMS

MA'I_I'HEW'S WORST SUSPICIONS
ABOUT DANIELLE.

- MATl', MATT!

DUDE, YOU'RE MISSING
THE BEST PART.

- SHE MAKES PUBLIC
THE SIDE OF HERSELF

THAT MATTHEW
DENIES ALTOGETHER.

THE CHASM BETWEEN THEM
IS SIMPLY TOO GREAT,

AND IT'S CLEAR
WHO SHOULD BE THE ONE TO CHANGE.

EXCUSE ME.

I JUST WANT
TO LIT YOU KNOW,

I KNOW WHO YOU REALLY ARE...

AND YOU'RE
BEITER THAN THIS.

- AND SO, DANIELLE
ABANDONS HER CAREER

AND FOLLOWS MATTHEW INTO
A WORLD OF PRIM RESPECTABILITY.

- THANK YOU.

- FOR WHAT'?

- I NEVER WENT TO PROM.

- LN THE END,
IT'S HIM WHO SAVES HER,

MOLDING HER
INTO HIS OWN IMAGE

AND PAVING THE WAY
TOWARDS HIS ULTIMATE GOAL.

TEEN SEXUALITY
DOESN'T HAVE TO BE SUPPRESSED...

IT JUST HAS TO BE
CONTAINED...

- READY?

- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
JUST - JUST TWO SECONDS.

- AND REVEALED ONLY AT
PRECISELY THE RIGHT MOMENT.

OKAY. HOLD ON.

- HENRY, ARE YOU READY'?

- I'M READY.

YEAH, I WANNA FIX
ALL MY MISTAKES

YEAH, I DIDN'T EXPECT
TO FALL IN LOVE

SO DROP DEAD

LOVE, SO DROP DEAD

YEAH, YOU KNOW
I'VE SEEN IT ALL BEFORE

YEAH, THIS SOUND REALLY SUCKS
FOR SURE

SO GO BACK

SURE, SO GO BACK

HAVEN'T YOU EVER WANTED
TO DISAPPEAR?

TO DISAPPEAR

I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU COULD HELP ME

TO DISAPPEAR

LET'S BE HONEST,
JUST BE HONEST

CAN YOU BE HONEST?

YEAH, YOU COULDN'T
TURN BACK THE CLOCK

YEAH, NOTHING
WILL EVER HURT AS MUCH

I'M FALLIN'

AS MUCH, I'M FALLING

YEAH, THIS IS ALL
A BIG MISTAKE

YEAH, WILL YOU STILL
WANT ME WHEN I LEAVE'?

IT'S OVER

I LEAVE, IT'S OVER

HAVEN'T YOU EVER WANTED
TO DISAPPEAR?

TO DISAPPEAR

I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU COULD HELP ME

TO DISAPPEAR

LET'S BE HONEST,
JUST BE HONEST

CAN YOU BE HONEST?

BA-A-A-CK

HOW FAR DO YOU
GO BA-A-A-ACK?

HOW FAR DO YOU
GO BA-A-A-ACK?

- SEX CHANGES EVERYTHING.

IN A POST-COITAL RAPTURE,

TEENS SLIP
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

AND INTO A WORLD IN WHICH THEIR
PLACE NO LONGER SEEMS CERTAIN.

- I THINK MAYBE

IT'S MORE POWERFUL
THAN WE'D LIKE IT TO BE.

- IT'S FUCKING TRIPPY...

THAT'S FOR SURE.

- AS THEIR OUTWARD APPEARANCES
AND INNER-LIVES

BEGIN TO DIVERGE,

THE ADOLESCENT MIND
SPLITS IN TWO.

AWIDENING RIFT

SEPARATES THE IMAGE PROJECTED
TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD

FROM THE UNEXAMINED TRUTH
WITHIN.

TEENS ARE FACED WITH
TWO VERSIONS OF THEMSELVES,

BARELY SURE OF WHICH IS REAL.

- THAT'S A PART OF HISTORY
YOU CAN'T CHANGE.

- IN "JEEPERS CREEPERS",
SIBLINGS DAFiFIY AND TRISH,

WILE AWAY
A CROSS-COUNTRY DRIVE

BY GUESSING THE MEANINGS
OF CUSTOM LICENSE PLATES.

-"GAY...

"GAY FEVER."

NO, "GAY FOREVER"!

- DARRY'S SUGGESTIONS REVEAL
MORE ABOUT HIS OWN CONCERNS

THAN THOSE
OF THE PLATES' OWNERS.

- THAT'S A
NOT A YOU IDIOT.

THAT'S "SEXY FOREVER".

THAT'S MINE.
THAT'S 5 TO 2.

- SHIT.

- GAY FEVER?

- SOON, HE SPIRALS INTO
HIS OWN PERSONAL GAY FEVER

AFTER STUMBLING UPON
A BODY-STREWN LAIR

FILLED WITH SEMI-NAKED
TEENAGE BOYS.

- WHAT?

- I FOUND A...
AAH!

JESUS!
AAH!

GET OFF!

- DARRY!

DAR RY!

- JESUS.

- THIS CHAMBER OF HOMOEROTIC
HORROR BELONGS TO THE CREEPER,

A PREDATORY
HALF-HUMAN KILLER

WITH A FONDNESS
FOR '30s JAZZ STANDARDS.

THE INHABITANTS
OF A SMALL, CONSERVATIVE TOWN

LIVE IN CONSTANT FEAR

OF THIS SEXUALLY-VORACIOUS
MONSTER IN THEIR MIDST.

DARRY, ON THE OTHER HAND,

SEEMS EVERY BIT
AS FASCINATED WITH THE CREEPER

AS THE CREEPER IS WITH HIM.

- EVENTUALLY, THE MONSTER
TAKES AHOLD OF THE BOY,

TOSSING TRISH ASIDE
AND MAKING HIS INTENTIONS CLEAR

- YOU DON'T WANT HIM.

YOU DON'T WANT HIM.

WHATEVER YOU WANT...

YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM ME.

- LET HIM GO, AND TAKE ME.

YOU LET HIM GO!

- HIS BODY EVISCERATED
BY THE BEAST,

DARRY IS STRUNG UP
ON DISPLAY,

JUST ANOTHER MONUMENT
TO THE GREEPER'S DARK DESIRES.

TEENS' UNWILLING
TO FOLLOW DARRY'S LEAD

AND GIVE IN
TO THEIR REPRESSED IMPULSES

INSTEAD RESORT TO OUTLANDISH
ACTS OF DENIAL.

- WHAT THE FUCK?!

MAIL, MOTHERFUCKER.

- HEY, I GOT ONE FROM MIKE.

- IN "EuroTrip",

SUBURBAN TEEN SGOTFY

FEELS LANDLOCKED
IN HIS QUIET HOMETOWN.

BORED OF THE ROUTINE,

HE EXCHANGES WISTFUL E-MAILS
WITH HIS GERMAN PEN-PAL, MIKE.

- "DEAR MIKE, GREETINGS
FROM YOUR AMERICAN PEN PAL."

- BEST FRIEND COOPER
IS SUSPICIOUS.

- LISTEN TO YOURSELF,
ALL RIGHT.

NOW, YOU MET A "COOL GUY
ON THE INTERNET", OKAY?

THIS IS HOW
THESE SEXUAL PREDATORS WORK.

NEXT THING YOU KNOW, HE'S GONNA
WANT TO "ARRANGE A MEETING,"

WHERE HE WILL GAS YOU AND
STUFF YOU IN THE BACK OF HIS VAN

AND MAKE A WIND-CHIME
OUT OF YOUR GENITALS

- SCOTl'Y DISREGARDS
THE WARNING...

"AUF WIEDERSEHENMIKE."

BUT RETURNS HOME DRUNK
LATER THAT NIGHT

TO DISCOVER THAT COOPER
MAY HAVE BEEN ON TO SOMETHING.

- HEY, MIKE.

"DEAR SCOTT, I WAS VERY SAD

"TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR LADY-WOMAN
FIONA DUMPING YOU.

"SINCE YOU NO LONGER
HAVE A GIRLFRIEND,

"MAYBE I COULD
COME TO AMERICA

"AND WE COULD GET TO KNOW
EACH OTHER BEITER.

"PERHAPS WE COULD...

ZUSSAMEN."

WHAT THE FUCK
IS AZUSSAMEN?

"ARRANGE A MEETING."

NO. NO, NO COME ON!

COOPER WAS RIGHT, THIS GUY
WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH ME.

- LN A HAZE OF FEAR,
HE FIRES BACK A FURIOUS REPLY...

- "I DON'T WANT TO ARRANGE
ANY MEETINGS WITH YOU,

"YOU SICK GERMAN FREAK.

"SO - SO PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS
OFF OF MY GENITALS,

"AND NEVER WRITE TO ME AGAIN,
AND DON'T COME TO AMERICA.

GOODBYE."

- ONLY TO REALIZE THE ERROR
OF HIS WAYS THE NEXT MORNING.

- I CAN'T BELIEVE
THIS GERMAN CHICK

WANTS TO COME OVER HERE
AND HOOK UP WITH YOU.

- YEAH, I DON'T THINK SO BUDDY.
MIKE'S A GUY.

- UM, NO, IT SAYS RIGHT HERE
"TRAURIGES MADCHEN".

I'M TAKINGINTROTO GERMAN,
AND EVENIKNOW THAT.

- COME HERE.

HE SENT ME A PICTURE,
REFARDO.

SEE? THAT'S A PICTURE OF MIKE,
AND THAT'S HIS CUTE COUSIN JAN.

- NO, REFARDO.

THAT'S JAN, A MAN'S NAME,

AND THAT'S NOT "MIKE,"
IT'S "MIEKE,"

A COMMON GERMAN GIRL'S NAME,
SIMILAR TO OUR MICHELLE.

- WITHIN MOMENTS,

SCOTFY IS READY TO DECLARE
HIS UNDYING LOVE FOR MIEKE,

DESPITE FORMING THIS BOND
WHILE BELIEVING HER TO BE A MAN.

- THAT'S MIKE.

I MEAN MIEKE.

- AND SO, HE EMBARKS UPON
A VOYAGE OF DISCOVERY

ACROSS EUROPE

TO WIN BACK HER LOVE.

AS THEY CROSS THE CONTINENT,
SCOTFY AND FRIENDS

SEEK OUT ONE OVERT DISPLAY OF
HETEROSEXUALITY AFTER ANOTHER.

STILL,
THEIR SITUATION INVARIABLY

TAKES A TURN
FOR THE HOMOEROTIC.

WHETHER AT THE BEACH...

WHAT A RIP!

- LN AN AMSTERDAM
COFFEE SHOP...

IT'S HOT IN HERE. YOU HOT?
'CAUSE I'M - I'M REALLY HOT.

- MY GOD!
- OKAY, I CAN'T BREATHE! GOD!

I'M FREAKING OUT!

I SAW A GAY PORNO ONCE.

I DIDN'T KNOW UNTIL HALFWAY m.

THE GIRLS NEVER GAME.

THE GIRLS NEVER GAME!

- OR VISITING
THE RED LIGHT DISTRICT.

- ON, ON, VANDERSEXXX!

- THE SEX-STARVED GANG FIND
THEMSELVES TIME AND TIME AGAIN

DIVERTED FROM
THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW.

- I-ll.

SO, A-ARE THE GIRLS
C-COMING BACK'?

- WHEN SCOTFY DOES CATCH UP
WITH MIEKE,

IN THE SUITABLY REPRESSED
SURROUNDINGS OF VATICAN CITY,

HIS HETEROSEXUAL CREDENTIALS
FINALLY SEEM CONFIRMED.

- I LOVE YOU, MIEKE.

- BUT WHEN THEIR RELATIONSHIP
IS CONSUMMATED,

IN A CONFESSIONAL
DEEP WITHIN THE PALACE,

SCOTFY LETS OUT A DEVASTATING
CONFESSION OF HIS OWN.

MIKE. M-MIEKE!

- THE MASQUERADE GOES ON,
AND MIKE IS LAID TO REST

WHILE SCOTIY REMAINS SAFELY
INSIDE THE CLOSET.

- FLIGHT ATFENDANTS,
PREPARE FOR DEPARTURE.

- BUT THE TRUTH CAN ONLY
STAY HIDDEN FOR SO LONG

BEFORE IT SPILLS DISASTROUSLY
INTO THE OPEN.

- Eo.

- LN "FINAL DESTINATION,
SUPERNATURAL PRODIGY ALEX"

LIBERATES A SELECT GROUP OF HIGH
SCHOOLERS FROM CERTAIN DEATH

AFTER HIS PSYCHIC FREAK-OUT
FORCES THEM OFF A DOOMED FLIGHT.

ALEX'.7

THE FUCKING PLANE'S
GONNA EXPLODE!

- SHUT UP, BROWNING.
- YOU'RE SO NOT FUNNY.

- IF THIS IS
YOUR IDEA OF A JOKE...

IT'S NOT A JOKE!
IT'S NOT A JOKE!

- ALEX, TAKE IT EASY.

- AS THEY CHEAT FATE,

THEY REPRESS
THE ONE CERTAINTY IN LIFE...

DEATH.

- WHOA.

WE GET THROWN OFF THE PLANE,

WE BLOW, WHAT,
A HALF A DAY IN PARIS?

ALL BECAUSE BROWNING
HAS A BAD FUCKING DREAM?

BUT WAIT, BUT - THE PLANE,

IT'S GONNA BLOW UP, IT'S GONNA BLOW UP.
- TOD...

- THE ONLY TRIP YOU'RE TAKING
IS TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL!

- GET OFF HIM!

- SHIT!

- MORTALITY WRESTLED
INTO SUBMISSION,

ALEX AND FRIENDS
WALK AWAY PHYSICALLY UNSCATHED

BUT MENTALLY DISORIENTED.

THEY ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BELIEVE
THAT THE HARD TIMES ARE OVER...

- BECAUSE OF YOU,
I'M STILL ALIVE.

- BUT IT'S CLEAR

THAT THEIR NEWFOUND EQUILIBRIUM
IS UNSUSTAINABLE.

- I'M NEVER GONNA DIE.

- INSIST AS THEY MIGHT, DEATH
WAS NEVER REALLY EXPELLED.

IT WAS MERELY
FORCED INTO THE SHADOWS.

THE LONGER THEY DENY THE TRUTH,
THE MORE DESTRUCTIVE IT BECOMES.

- AS THE FORCES OF REPRESSION
SWELL,

AN EXPLOSION IS INEVITABLE.

- HERE SHE IS.

ONE DAY, YOU WAKE UP
AND YOU FIGURE OUT,

WHAT'S THE WORST THING
THEY CAN DO TO YOU?

EACH OF US HAS WITHIN US
A WEAK ASPECT,

EAGER TO GIVE UP FREEDOM FOR
THE COMFORT OF BEING DOMINATED,

BUT WE ALSO HAVE A WILL TO POWER
THAT DESIRES FREEDOM,

THAT INSISTS ON DECIDING
FOR OURSELVES,

EACH OF US INDIVIDUALLY,

WHAT IS GOOD...

AND WHAT IS EVIL.

- HEY, GARY.
- DAVl D.

- GARY, DID YOU KNOW I GREW UP IN
A LOT OF DIFFERENT PLACES'?

- NO, ACTUALLY
NICOLE TOLD ME THAT YOU...

- YEAH - BRIDGEWATER,
SPOFFORD, RIKERS, YOU NAME IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ALL HAVE
IN COMMON, GARY? -l\1o.

- WEAK WALLS.

ACTUALLY, THAT'S WHY
THEY MOVED ME AROUND SO MUCH.

I'D POUND ON A WALL,
IT WOULD BREAK,

THEY'D MOVED ME TO THE NEXT ONE
AND THE NEXT ONE

UNTIL FINALLY THEY GOT SICK
OF BUILDING WALLS

AND JUST SHOWED ME
THE DOOR.

- HERE WE HAVE YOUR STANDARD
.22 LEVER ACTION,

PERSONALLY,
I'M NOT A BIG FAN.

NEXT, WE HAVE THE PRIDE
OF THE OLD WEST HERE...

.20 GAUGE
DOUBLE-BARREL SHOTGUN.

- COOL.

- DON'T EVER
CONDESCEND TO ME AGAIN.

I AM NOT
YOUR LITTLE WIND-UP DOLL.

- THIS, THIS IS PROBABLY MY FAV-
ONE OF MY FAVORITE GUNS.

THIS IS, LIKE, THE DIRTY HARRY
FUCKING GUN RIGHT HERE.

- YOU SEE THAT'?

DO YOU SEE HOW FAST IT JUST
SLIDES STRAIGHT THROUGH?

- DO YOU THINK THAT IF YOU
WERE FALLING IN SPACE,

THAT YOU WOULD SLOW DOWN AFTER
A WHILE OR GO FASTER AND FASTER?

- YOU ARE PSYCHO!

WHAT THE HELL
IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

YOU ALL BELONG IN A LOONY BIN!
EVERY ONE OF YOU!

- MY BEST TIME SO FAR
IS 64 SECONDS.

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO IT
AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE

'CAUSE WE NEVER KNOW
WHEN ZERO DAY'S COMING.

- GO.

- I DON'T NEED YOU!

YOU THINK YOU'RE SO HAPPY.

YOU THINK YOU'RE SO...

SUPERIOR.

- LIZZY, I'M GONNA
FUCKING KILL YOU.

- YOU WANNA GIT FUCKED UP,
MOTHERFUCKER?

- YOU KNOW WHAT, BRO,
FUCK YOU, OKAY?

FUCK YOU. ALL RIGHT?

- DON'T PUT YOUR FUCKING FINGER
IN MY FACE.

- EVERYTHING WE EVER DID,

- EVERYTHING WE EVER DID,

EVERYTHING WE EVER OWNED
AND EVERYTHING WE OWN RIGHT NOW

IS GOING TO BE SCRUTINIZED

UNDER, LIKE, THE BIGGEST
MICROSCOPE THE WORLD CAN PRODUCE.

EVERY CD YOU HAVE,
EVERY - EVERY VIDEO GAME,

THEY'RE GOING TO
GO THROUGH AND SAY

"'MORTAL KOMBAT',
IT WAS BECAUSE OF THAT."

- lN THE WAKE OF A BLAST
THEY NEVER SAW COMING,

THE POWERS THAT BE

SEARCH DESPERATELY FOR SOMEONE,
OR SOMETHING, TO BLAME.

- EXPLICIT AND GRAPHIC SEX,

EXTREME VIOLENCE,
SUICIDE IN LYRICS...

- NEVER BEFORE
IN THE HISTORY OF THIS COUNTRY

HAVE SO MANY
CORRUPTING INFLUENCES

DESCENDED UPON CHILDREN
AT ONE TIME.

- TEENS WHO DARE
TO SUBVERT PROTOCOL

ARE IMMEDIATELY SUSPECT

AND FIND THEMSELVES
RUTHLESSLY POLICED.

- AS I STUDY THE LAST 60 YEARS
OF POPULAR TEEN CULTURE,

I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION
THAT WE'RE LOSING OUR KIDS.

SOMETIME, SOMEBODY HAS TO STAND
UP AND SAY "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH."

SO, LET'S SAY IT TONIGHT.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

IN "THE FACULTY",
QUARTERBACK STAN

IS ONE OF A NUMBER OF TEENS
RELUCTANT TO PLAY THE ROLES

IN WHICH THEY'VE
UNWITFINGLY BEEN CAST.

- I'M QUITFING FOOTBALL.
- NOT PLAYING TOMORROW?

- NO, I'M NOT PLAYING THIS YEAR,
WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME?

I'M QUIT-TING THE TEAM,
I'M NOT PLAYING BALL ANYMORE.

- WHAT BROUGHT THIS ON?

- HIS HIGH-SCHOOL ECOSYSTEM
REJECTS THE NOTION,

EAGER TO FORGE STAN
BACK INTO HIS PLACE.

- YOU'RE NOT GOOD AT STUDYING,
STAN, YOU'RE GOOD AT FOOTBALL.

YOU SHOULD STICK TO
WHAT YOU'RE GOOD AT.

- YEAH I'VE ALWAYS BEEN GOOD
AT FOOTBALL AND BASKETBALL

AND OTHER SPORT I TRY.

I THINK MAYBE IT'S TIME I TRY
SOMETHING I'M NOT SO GOOD AT.

- AT THE SAME TIME,

HIS FELLOW STUDENTS
DISCOVER A MYSTERIOUS ORGANISM

LURKING IN THE SCHOOL'S
WATER SUPPLY.

- JUST GONNA
CHECK HIS PROSTATE.

ACTUALLY, THE SURFACE TEXTURE
CHANGED, SO...

GATE.

- IT'S A PARASITE, CAPABLE
OF TAKING ON HUMAN HOSTS

AND TRANSFORMING THEM INTO
MODELS OF AMERICAN TEEN-DOM,

FORCING CONFORMITY ON
AN UNSUSPECTING STUDENT BODY.

STAN AND THE OTHERS
REFUSE TO RELINQUISH CONTROL,

MAKING THEM EVER MORE DESIRABLE
TO THE BUG.

- WHAT ARE YOU KIDS
DOING IN HERE?

- LITl'LE DO THEY KNOW

THAT ONE OF THEIR NUMBER
HAS ALREADY BEEN TURNED.

- CASEY, COME OUT COME OUT
WHEREVER YOU ARE.

- WHEN TRANSFER STUDENT
MARYBEFH

IS FINALLY UNVEILED
AS A HOST FOR THE PARASITE,

SHE APPEALS TO THE OTHERS

TO CONSIDER THE VALUE
OF GIVING IN TO CONFORMITY.

- ALL OF YOU ARE DIFFERENT
FROM THE OTHERS.

YOU'RE LOST AND LONELY,
JUST LIKE ME.

AND I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE,

I GOULD GIVE YOU
A TASTE OF MY WORLD...

A WORLD WITHOUT ANGER,
WITHOUT FEAR, WITHOUT ATTITUDE,

WHERE THE UNDER-ACHIEVER GOES HOME
AT NIGHT TO PARENTS WHO CARE.

THE JOCK CAN BE SMART,
THE UGLY DUCKLING BEAUTIFUL,

THE CLASS WUSS
DOESN'T HAVE TO LIVE IN TERROR,

AND THE NEW GIRL, WELL...

THE NEW GIRL,
SHE CAN JUST FIT RIGHT IN

WITH PEOPLE
WHO ARE JUST LIKE HER.

- THOUGH SHE PROMISES PARADISE,

MARYBEFHS WORLD IS IN FACT
ONE OF COLD UNIFORMITY,

WHERE UNRULY TEENS
CAN BE SAFELY CONTROLLED,

ALL WITH THEIR BEST INTERESTS
SUPPOSEDLY IN MIND.

THE BIND OF CONFORMITY
GROWS EVER STRONGER

IN "JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS."

A SINISTER GROUP
OF RECORD EXECUTIVES

RECOGNIZE THE VALUE

OF CONTROLLING
THE YOUNGER GENERATION,

NOT ONLY TO KEEP THEM IN LINE,
BUT TO KEEP THEM SPENDING.

- I AM SICK OF MY REEBOK SWEATS
I NEED SOME PUMA SWEATS.

- I GOT TO BUY
A SIX-PACK OF ZIMA.

- DUDE, YOU DON'T DRINK.

- I THINK I SHOULD START.

- THREATS TO THE ORGANIZATION ARE
QUIEFLY REMOVED FROM THE PICTURE

BY SLIMY PROMOTERS...

- I THINK THAT SONG SUCKS.

I PLUG MY EARS
WHEN CRAP LIKE THAT COMES ON.

- REALLY?

WELL, EVERYBODY ELSE
SEEMED TO LIKE IT.

- THAT'S JUST BECAUSE
THEY'RE MINDLESS DRONES

WHO WILL GOBBLE UP
ANYTHING YOU TELL THEM IS COOL.

- I SEE...

THIS MUST BE MY LUCKY DAY.

A REAL NON-CONFORMIST

I'M SO INTERESTED TO HEAR
WHAT ELSE YOU HAVE TO SAY.

- WELL, FIRST OF ALL,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT...

- GOSH, THAT'S FASCINATING.

- OR ERADICATED ALTOGETHER
IN THEIR MASTER PLAN,

A GLOBAL CONSPIRACY

TO SYSTEMICALLY REPROGRAM
ALL TEENS.

- GENTLEMAN,
A DEMONSTRATION.

THIS IS WHAT THOSE KIDS THINK
THEY'RE HEARING ON THOSE HEADSETS.

AND THIS IS WHAT
THEY'RE REALLY HEARING.

- "CONFORM!
FREE WILL ls OVERRATED.

JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON!

- THE THREAT OF THE INDIVIDUAL
FADES AWAY,

LEAVING ONLY OBEDIENCE
TO THE SYSTEM...

A SYSTEM THAT HIDES
IN PLAIN SIGHT.

- GOT TO MAKE ROOM FOR HER.

I DON'T KNOW
WHERE SHE'S GONNA SIT.

- COME ON! THE PROM!
- LET'S GO!

'YEAH!

- I BEGIN THE PRESENTATION

WITH THE ANNOUNCEMENT
OF THE 1999 PROM KING.

- WHOO!
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

- AND NOW FOR
THE 1999 PROM QUEEN.

- AS THE DYING DAYS
OF HIGH SCHOOL LOOM,

THE ILLUSION OF ATEEN UTOPIA
COMES CRASHING DOWN.

- YOU WANT A BEER?

- AS QUICKLY AS THEY
WERE ASKED TO FIT IN,

ADOLESCENTS ARE ORDERED
TO MOVE ON.

- TRIP McNEELY!

TRIP McNEELY.

- NO WAY, MAN.

- TRIP McNEELY.
- TRIP McNEELY!

GEEZ.

YOU WERE A SEXUAL ICON.

YOU KNOW, GIRLS AT HUNTINGDON
STILL TALK ABOUT YOU.

- REALLY?

WHICH ONES?

- YOU MUST BE RACKING UP
AT COLLEGE. COLLEGE.

- I WISH, BRO. lCAN'T EVEN
GET DIGITS AS A FRESHMAN.

- SHUT UP!

COME ON,
YOU CAN TELL ME.

- SERIOUSLY, MAN.

I THOUGHT COLLEGE
WAS GONNA BE A 24/7 ORGY.

- S-SO, WHAT HAPPENED?

COLLEGE CHICKS
ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT, BRO.

THEY'RE ALL SERIOUS
AND SHIT.

THEY ALL TALK ABOUT WORLD ISSUES
AND ECO-MOLOGICAL CRAP.

THEY ALL WANT TO DATE
OLDER GUYS.

- YEAH, BUT...

NOT ALL OF THEM, RIGHT?

- THE WAY IT GOES.

GUYS LIKE US,
WE ARE A DIME A DOZEN.

- FAIL TO RE-ASSERT THEMSELVES
AS INDIVIDUALS,

AND THEY'LL BE LEFT
TO A LIFE OF EMPTY FANTASY.

- TAKE IT EASY, TRIP!

TRIP McNEELY!

ALL RIGHT.

- LN "DISTURBING BEHAVIOR,"

BRAINWASHED STUDENTS
BECOME LOCKED

IN AN INFINITE LOOP
OF HIGH-SCHOOL ROUTINE,

UNABLE TO MOVE PAST THEIR TEEN
IDENTITIES TOWARDS ADULTHOOD.

HIDDEN AWAY
IN A REMOTE ASYLUM,

THEY LIVE OUT
A PERVERSE NIGHTMARE

OF INDEFINITE ADOLESCENCE.

- YOU'RE PRE Y.

AND...

DO IT.

- THIS IS THE LIFE
THAT AWAITS THOSE

WHO FAIL TO SHAKE OFF
THE TRAPPINGS OF YOUTH.

- THIS IS THE FATE
OF THE PERPETUAL TEEN.

- SOCIAL MISFIT JENNA
IS WELL AWARE OF THIS DANGER

IN "13 GOING ON 30,"

AND THOUGH SHE'S BARELY ENTERED
HER TEEN YEARS,

SHE'S ALREADY EAGER TO MOVE ON.

BEST FRIEND MAI I Y, MEANWHILE,
IS HAPPY TO STAY PUT.

- WANT SOME RAZZLES?

- RAZZLES ARE FOR KIDS.

- EXACTLY.

- I WANNA BE 30!

- JENNA'S WISH COMES TRUE

AS SHE'S SENT MIRACULOUSLY
FORWARD THROUGH TIME

TO HER 30th YEAR,

WHERE SHE FINDS HERSELF
A SUCCESSFUL,

POPULAR, AND FIERCELY
INDEPENDENT WOMAN.

- MOM?

DAD?

WH OA!

- DISORIENTED
BY THE TRANSFORMATION,

SHE FRANTICALLY TRACKS DOWN
THE REMNANTS OF HER TEEN YEARS,

INCLUDING MAI I Y.

TRUE TO HIS WORD, HE CONTINUES
TO PRACTICE THE SAME HOBBIES,

LISTEN TO THE SAME MUSIC,

AND FOLLOW THE SAME FASHIONS
HE DID AS AN ADOLESCENT.

- HEY, JENNA. WHY ARE YOU HERE?

- I WAS SITTING IN MY CLOSET,

AND I-l... l SKIPPED EVERYTHING.

I MEAN, IT'S LIKE A WEIRD DREAM.

I-I CAN'T REMEMBER MY LIFE.

YOU NEED TO HELP ME
REMEMBER MY LIFE.

- ME'?
- YES.

- I CAN'T DO THAT.
- WHY NOT?

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU,
ALL RIGHT?

I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU
SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.

- WHAT?

- WE'RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE,
JENNA.

- FINDING COMFORT IN
THE CONTINUITY OF MAI I Y'S LIFE,

JENNA, TOO, ATTEMPTS TO RESUME
HER CHILDHOOD IDENTITY,

MUCH TO THE DELIGHT
OF HER FORMER FRIEND.

TOGETHER, THEY ENACT
A WARPED ADULT SIMULATION

OF THEIR TEENAGE LIVES.

- YOU WHAT I WISH I HAD
RIGHT NOW?

- NO. WHAT'?

- RAZZLES.

- RAZZLES?

- THIS UNCOMPLICATED VISION
OF GROWN-UP LIFE

SEEMS FAR MORE APPEALING
TO JENNA,

AND SHE SETS OUT
TO MAKE SURE IT'S FOR GOOD,

BY RETREATING INTO THE PAST...

- MA'l'l'Y!

- DIVING INTO THE ARMS
OF MAI I Y,

AND SHUNNING THE POPULAR GIRLS
ONCE AND FOR ALL.

- BIATGH.

- BACK IN THE PRESENT DAY,

JENNA NOW LIVES
AS AN ETERNAL TEENAGER,

TRAPPED INSIDE THE BODY
OF A 30-YEAR-OLD WOMAN.

ABANDONING THE CAREER
AND INDEPENDENCE

SHE FOUGHT SO HARD TO ACQUIRE,

SHE LIVES OUT AN IMPOSSIBLE
CHILDHOOD FANTASY OF ADULTHOOD,

COMPLETE WITH HER HIGH-SCHOOL
ADMIRER IN TOW

AND A LIFE-SIZE DOLLHOUSE
FOR A HOME.

- RAZZLE, MR. FLAMHAFF?

- THANK YOU, MRS. FLAMHAFF.

- THE MECHANICS OF HIGH SCHOOL...

SWEETHEARTS, CLIQUES,
AND HAPPILY EVER AFFERS...

CAN NEVER BE SQUARED
WITH ADULTHOOD.

- I RENTED THE LIMO.

I GET TO BE THE GUY.

- YEAH?

- SO I GUESS
THAT MAKES ME THE GIRL, '?

- RIGHT.

- IN "DRIVE ME CRAZY,"

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS
CHASE AND NICOLE

FINALLY UNITE
AT THEIR SENIOR PROM,

AFTER YEARS
OF UNFULFILLED FLIRTATION.

THEY LOOK FORWARD
TO AN ETERNITY TOGETHER,

A NOTION THAT SOON BECOMES
ALL TOO TERRIFYINGLY REAL.

- MOM'.7!

- Ol-|.

WELL, THAT MUST'VE BEEN
AN INTERESTING EVENING.

- DAD.

- CHASE....

-ol-|.

- SHOULD WE TELL THEM?
- YEAH.

- WE'RE MOVING IN TOGETHER.
- YEAH.

- AT THIS DECISIVE CROSSROADS,

MAKING A CLEAN BREAK
IS ESSENTIAL.

- IT IS YOU.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

- IN "BOYS AND cums,"

FELLOW HIGH SGHOOLERS
JENNIFER AND RYAN

ARE SURPRISED TO FIND THEMSELVES
REUNITED AT COLLEGE.

THEY BOTH EMBARK UPON
A FRESH CHAPTER IN THEIR LIVES,

BUT WHILE SHE MAKES THE MOST
OF HER NEWFOUND FREEDOM,

HE REMAINS TIED
TO HIS TEENAGE PAST.

- I LOVE YOU.
- I LOVE YOU.

- SO, IS SHE YOUR HIGH-SCHOOL
SWEETHEART?

- AS A MATTER OF FACT, SHE IS.

- GOOD FOR YOU.

WHERE IS SHE GOING TO SCHOOL'?

- SEATl'LE.

- Ol-|.

LONG DISTANCE.

- 50?

- GOOD LUCK.

- WE DON'T NEED LUCK.

WE HAVE
A VERY STRONG RELATIONSHIP.

WE WEREN'T TOGETHER OVER THE
SUMMER, AND EVERYTHING WAS FINE.

- WHEN RYAN'S DREAMS
OF ROMANTIC HARMONY

COME CRASHING DOWN AROUND HIM,

HE STRUGGLES TO MOVE ON,

FRUSTRATED BY THE FAILURE
OF HIS BLUEPRINT FOR HAPPINESS.

- YOU KNOW THE ONLY WAY
TO BUILD SOMETHING THAT AWESOME?

- ALIEN SLAVES FROM OUTER SPACE?

- PERFECT PLANNING.
- ol-|.

- DOESN'T IT MAKE SO MUCH SENSE?

YOU EXAMINE A SITUATION.
YOU PLAN A COURSE OF ACTION.

YOU EXECUTE IT.

AND EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FINE.

BUT IT DOESN'T.

- HE REJECTS EACH NEW OPPORTUNITY
THAT COMES HIS WAY...

- YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN?

- SURE! SURE.

BUT, ACTUALLY, I WAS...
I WAS JUST LEAVING.

- DESPERATE TO RECLAIM
THE HIGH-SCHOOL ROMANCE

THAT HE THINKS COMPLETED HIM.

- THERE WAS THIS GIRL
AT THE PARTY THE OTHER NIGHT

- AGIRLGIRL'.7

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME.

- I JUST BLEW HER OFF.

- WHY?

- I DON'T KNOW.

- EAGER TO HELP HEAL HIS WOUNDS,

JENNIFER TURNS TO A RELIABLE
SOURCE OF EXPERTISE...

TEEN MOVIES.

IT'S THERE,

IN THE COMFORTABLE FICTION
OF THE TEENAGE HAPPY ENDING,

THAT SHE FINDS HER ANSWERS.

- I MEAN,
IT'S SUCH A LOT OF BULLSHIT.

- BULLSHIT?

- JUST SHOW ME A MOVIE

THAT TAKES PLACE SIX MONTHS
AFTERTHEY GET TOGETHER,

YOU KNOW, WHEN EVERYTHING STARTS
FALLING APART.

- JENNIFER.

- IT'S JUST THAT I DON'T THINK

THAT ANY OF US KNOW
WHO WE REALLY ARE,

SO HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW
WHO MR. RIGHT IS'?

- IF THEY'RE EVER TO MAKE SENSE
OF THE WIDER WORLD,

OVERGROWN ADOLESCENTS LIKE RYAN

MUST SEVER
THEIR HIGH-SCHOOL ATTACHMENTS

AND FIRST MAKE SENSE
OF THEMSELVES.

I CAN BE WHOEVER I WANT TO BE.

I DON'T HAVE
TO DRESS FOR ANYONE.

I DON'T
HAVE TO LOOK LIKE ANYONE.

I CAN DO ANYTHING.

I CAN JUST BE MYSELF!

- AS THE CURTAIN FALLS
ON THEIR HIGH-SCHOOL ODYSSEY,

TEENS COME TOGETHER
ONE LAST TIME,

UNITED BY THE JOURNEY
BEHIND THEM.

SIDE-BY-SIDE, THEY FOUND THEIR
SEAT AT THE GAFEFERIA TABLE,

GIVING THEMSELVES OVER
TO THE POWER OF THE CLIQUES.

COMPELLED BY STRANGE NEW URGES,
THEY SURRENDERED TO DESIRE

AS THEIR CHANGING BODIES
TOOK CONTROL.

THEY LOST TOUCH WITH REALITY
AND PAID THE PRICE.

BUT IN THE FACE
OF A HARSH SYSTEM,

THEY FOUGHT TO REDISCOVER
WHAT WAS ONCE THEIRS.

AND LAID THE GROUNDWORK
FOR A LIFE BEYOND HIGH SCHOOL.

- GOOD AFTERNOON, CLASSMATES
AND INVITED GUESTS.

TODAY, WE MARK
THE END OF OUR INFANCY,

THE END OF OUR CHILDHOOD,

THE END OUR BEGINNING.

- TODAY, THEY TAKE A BOW.

TOMORROW,
THE SHOW COMES TO A CLOSE.

- I WANT YOU
TO TRY TO ENJOY THIS DAY.

COMMENCEMENT...
THE END OF ONE THING,

THE START OF SOMETHING NEW.

- IN "SPIDER-MAN,"

THE AMAZING POWERS
OF TEENAGE LONER PETER

SEE HIM ISOLATED FROM HIS PEERS.

- JESUS, PARKER,
YOU ARE A FREAK.

- EAGER TO BLEND IN,
HE HIDES THEM FROM VIEW.

- WHAT DO YOU SEE COMING FOR YOU?

- I DON'T KNOW.

- ONLY IN ADULTHOOD IS HE FREE
TO EMBRACE THE ABNORMALITIES

THAT MAKE HIM WHO HE REALLY IS.

WITH HIS TRANSFORMATION
INTO A MASKED SUPERHERO,

HE AT LAST SHOWS THE WORLD
HIS TRUE FACE,

LEITING HIS GUARD DOWN
AND REVEALING HIS POWERS...

AND HIS DESIRES.

IN HIGH SCHOOL,
HE PLAYED A ROLE,

MUTATING HIMSELF INTO SOMEONE
CAPABLE OF SURVIVING

THE ADOLESCENT EXPERIENCE.

- SOME SPIDERS CHANGE COLORS
TO BLEND INTO THEIR ENVIRONMENT.

IT'S A DEFENSE MECHANISM.
- PEl'ER.

- BEYOND THAT,
HE CAN LEAVE THE SCRIPT BEHIND.

- SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING
ABOUT EVERYONE

SHE'S THE STAR,
SHE'S THE ONLY ONE TO BELONG

SHE FEELS BAD FOR YOU
THAT YOU DON'T COMPARE

SHE KNOWS IT'S HARD WHEN
SHE SEES, SHE SEES YOU STARE

SHE'S A SYMBOL
OF THE TURNING WORLD

SHE THINKS EVERYBODY'S
IN LOVE WITH HER

SHE'S A STONE-COLD FOX

SHE'S A STONE-COLD FOX

AND THE TREES, LIKE LUNGS,
FILLING UP WITH AIR

MY SISTER, THE MEAN ONE,
PULLING MY HAIR

AND THOSE GIRLS, THEY WERE
JUST WOMEN IN DISGUISE

THEY UNDERSTOOD IT ALL,
THERE WAS DARKNESS AND PAIN

IN THEIR EYES

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

HE'S FIT, BUT HE'S A WASTE
OF YEARBOOK SPACE

AN INSTITUTION IN THIS PLACE

HIS SOUL IS AN ISLAND,
HIS CAR IS A FORD

HE'S CLASS PRESIDENT,
HE CAN'T BE IGNORED

HE CAN'T EAT, HE CAN'T SLEEP

'CAUSE HE THINKS
THAT HE'S IN LOVE WITH HER

HE'S THE BRAVEST

HE'S THE BEST-EST

AND AS ABOVE, SO BELOW

THE WORLD SPINS,
NO PLACE LEI-T TO GO

AS BOYS BECAME MEN, YEAH,
THEY WANTED IT SO

AND THEY HAD IT ALL LAID OUT
RIGHT BEFORE THEIR EYES

WHEN NIGHT COMES, THE DARKNESS
PROVED A SAD DISGUISE

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT THEY LOVED US

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT THEY LOVED US

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT THEY LOVED US

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT THEY LOVED US

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT THEY LOVED US

IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT THEY LOVED US

- IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

- IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

- I WILL REMEMBER YOU

- IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

- I WILL REMEMBER YOU

- IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

- I WILL REMEMBER YOU

- IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

- I WILL REMEMBER YOU

- IT ONLY MATTERS
THAT WE LOVED THEM

[SUMMER CAMP'S "WHATEVER"
PLAYS 1

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