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To Wong Foo - Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar"
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~ This is a man's world ~
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~ This is a man's world ~
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~ But it would be nothingwithout a woman or a girl... ~
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Ready or not, here comes mama.
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~ And where is the body? ~
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~ And where is the body? ~
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~ Move over mother ~
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~ Cos I'm going fasterthan you can drive ~
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~ The body beautiful ~
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~ Oh, you are too many things ~
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~ To die for ~
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~ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ OohOoh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ AahOoh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ OohBody beautiful ~
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~ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ OohOoh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ AahOoh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ I am body beautifulBeautiful ~
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~ My cha-cha pumps ~
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~ I've got them on ~
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~ I work the runwayLeft-right-left-right ~
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~ All night longYou'd better walk ~
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~ I am the one ~
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~ There is no otherI am mother ~
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~ I am body beautiful ~
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~ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ Body beautiful ~
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~ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ I am body beautiful ~
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~ I am grandGrand diva ~
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~ I am the queenQueen Bee ~
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~ A masqueradeWho am I? ~
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~ I'm fantasyYou're fantasy ~
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~ I am the houseThe whole mansion ~
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~ Of elegance ~
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~ FeaturingI am body beautiful ~
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~ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ Oh!Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ Uh-oh!Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ~
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~ Ooh!Body beautiful ~
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~ Ooh-ooh-ooh-oohOoh ~
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~ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-oohAh... ~
48
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- Don't throw your mother at me!
- Get out!
49
00:04:19,651 --> 00:04:21,994
I'm gonna make my lips
even more bee-stung.
50
00:04:22,098 --> 00:04:26,917
I'm taking my face to Sweden
to win the Nobel Peace Prize.
51
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Ain't nobody here tonight
winning Miss Congeniality.
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Ladies, five minutes.
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New York City!
54
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Pay your hometown girls some homage!
55
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Your drag-queen pageant finalists!
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Miss Sheena Riviera.
57
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Miss Missy!
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Cateria Raez!
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00:05:03,654 --> 00:05:06,738
Cappuccino Commotion!
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00:05:07,324 --> 00:05:09,400
Vida Boheme!
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Noxeema Jackson!
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Señorita Chi Chi!
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Owwww!
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~ ... and the lady is mine ~
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~ Mine, all mine, ohWell, she's never in the way ~
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00:05:26,664 --> 00:05:30,354
~ Always something nice to sayOh, what a blessing ~
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~ What a blessing ~
68
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~ I can leave her on her own ~
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~ She's OK aloneand there's no messing ~
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~ No messing ~
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~ She's a lady ~
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~ Whoa, whoa, whoa, she's a lady ~
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~ Talkin' about that little lady ~
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~ And the lady is mine ~
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~ Mine, all mine, oh ~
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~ Well, she never asks very muchand I don't refuse her ~
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~ Always treat her with respectI never would abuse her ~
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~ What she's got is hard to findand I don't want to lose her ~
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~ Help me build a mountainfrom a little pile of clay ~
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~ She's a lady ~
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~ Whoa, whoa, whoa, she's a lady ~
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~ Talkin' about the little lady ~
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~ And the lady is mine ~
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Hello, hello, hello!
Good evening.
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And here to present
this year's Drag Queen Of The Year...
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last year's winner.
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Put your hands together for
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Miss Rachel Tensions!
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Hello!
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Oh!
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Oh!
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What can I say? My heart is full.
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- I love you!
- Oh, thank you.
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Mama!
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Well, well.
Here we all are again.
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Another year flies by
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and it's time to crown
a new Drag Queen Of The Year.
98
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Proof that in New York City
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a thing of beauty is a joy
100
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for exactly 12 months.
101
00:08:04,710 --> 00:08:07,960
May I have the envelope, please?
102
00:08:11,842 --> 00:08:15,645
Mmm-mmm. I don't know who he is
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but if there's a snowstorm tonight,
he's going on my tyres.
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The winner
of the Drag Queen Of The Year
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will receive an all-expense-paid,
round-trip ticket
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to Hollywood, California!
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Where she can compete
in the Drag Queen Of America contest.
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I'm so excited I could just spit.
109
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And the winner is...
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We have a tie!
111
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- Tie? What's she mean, tie?
- Oh, my God.
112
00:09:00,379 --> 00:09:03,108
- And the winners are...
- Me...
113
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...Miss Noxeema Jackson
and Miss Vida Boheme!
114
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Work the runway, work it!
To the future, diva women!
115
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Come, come.
116
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Now, go and scandalise
this country, girlfriends.
117
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This land was made for you and her.
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Us in Hollywood?
This is total glam.
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I just hope nobody
mistakes us for the Gabors.
120
00:10:09,779 --> 00:10:14,847
- We'll be seen at the China Bowl.
- We will induce envy and rage.
121
00:10:14,951 --> 00:10:18,226
Look. That little Latin boy
in drag is crying.
122
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Find out why
that little Latin boy in drag is crying.
123
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Little Latin boy in drag,
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why are you crying?
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Cos... It's just cos the two of you
are so pretty, you know?
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- That's all?
- Of course we're pretty
127
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but why are you crying?
128
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Maybe she just found out
Menudo broke up.
129
00:10:41,395 --> 00:10:43,857
Now, little one, what is your name?
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It's Chi Chi. Chi Chi Rodriguez.
131
00:10:49,041 --> 00:10:53,221
- What's with the waterworks?
- I wanted to win this so much
132
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because I never won nothing.
Every time that I do something,
133
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I get it wrong and somebody's
always laughing at me.
134
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:05,228
But maybe I'll meet somebody nice
who will rescue me,
135
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:09,320
instead of old men
with their greasy bellies and their money
136
00:11:09,425 --> 00:11:12,487
and their...
...and leaving when the time is up.
137
00:11:12,591 --> 00:11:15,407
But, no, I'm a loser.
That's why. I'm a loser.
138
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I hate my life, I hate myself,
I hate everything!
139
00:11:18,597 --> 00:11:22,615
Listen, listen. You are a winner.
You look like...
140
00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:27,578
Well, you are a winner and...
141
00:11:29,873 --> 00:11:32,594
- Don't be looking at me.
- Noxeema!
142
00:11:32,698 --> 00:11:36,554
Don't be giving me that
bleeding-heart Sally Struthers look.
143
00:11:36,658 --> 00:11:39,140
Chi Chi, you just sit right here.
144
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I am going upstairs
to have a talk with Miss Noxeema.
145
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- We will be right back.
- I'm not going upstairs with you.
146
00:11:46,082 --> 00:11:48,898
I ain't driving you no more, Miss Daisy.
147
00:11:49,003 --> 00:11:52,234
Noxeema, we must all help others.
148
00:11:52,338 --> 00:11:54,950
- How?
- Take her with us to Hollywood.
149
00:11:55,055 --> 00:11:57,322
- Say what?
- Take her with us.
150
00:11:57,427 --> 00:12:00,204
- How are we gonna do that?
- Erm...
151
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Sell our plane tickets
and the three of us go by bus.
152
00:12:03,392 --> 00:12:08,416
Uh-uh-uh. Not on your young,
queer life. You and your causes.
153
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:13,342
That child is Latin. You don't
want to get mixed up in that mess.
154
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She might be a Sandinista.
155
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Noxeema Jackson,
I must admit that I am shocked
156
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and just a little bit saddened by you.
You, of all people.
157
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I remember the first time
that I laid eyes
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on a certain young
ebony enchantress in the rough
159
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and how, through styling
and the occasional make-up tip,
160
00:12:34,341 --> 00:12:38,282
I helped her look just a little bit
less like Moms Mabley.
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- Moms Mabley?
- And who'd think that enchantress
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would one day share a title with moi?
163
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:49,499
Now, on those steps,
that dear little Spanish soul,
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working that tired Abbe Lane drag
for all it's worth
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is all alone in this world.
166
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And she just once
wants to be special,
167
00:13:00,575 --> 00:13:04,056
to have a moment in the starlight,
168
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to dream of being
utterly, utterly fabulous.
169
00:13:13,977 --> 00:13:16,931
- Hello!
- I'm walking here! I'm walking here!
170
00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:22,642
Now, the China Bowl is the place
if you want to be outrageous.
171
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What stunning visions! Tell us
your beauty secrets or we'll die.
172
00:13:32,065 --> 00:13:35,840
Darling, I cannot be held responsible
for that.
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- I wish I was as beautiful as you.
- Honey!
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Good luck. Come on, honey.
175
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Thank you.
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- They really like us.
- Love...
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00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,523
Delighted to meet us!
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Vida! Hi.
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Excuse me. Oh, Vida, Vida!
Che bellissima. Come va?
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Darling, enchanté.
181
00:14:07,656 --> 00:14:10,204
Oh, you spoke French. How bi.
182
00:14:10,309 --> 00:14:13,420
Look at you, my little piñata.
How are you?
183
00:14:13,524 --> 00:14:18,130
The only man of money matters,
Mr John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
184
00:14:18,234 --> 00:14:22,178
- ¡Ay, tan chulo! El gusto es mio.
- No, no. El gusto es mio.
185
00:14:22,282 --> 00:14:24,470
No, papito, el gusto es mio.
186
00:14:24,574 --> 00:14:26,597
- See that?
- El gusto es mio.
187
00:14:26,701 --> 00:14:28,602
Si te ajusto las nalgas...
188
00:14:28,706 --> 00:14:31,648
You remember
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
189
00:14:31,752 --> 00:14:35,358
- His name is my name, too.
- Do people shout? I hate that.
190
00:14:35,462 --> 00:14:38,276
Look at you!
I'm like a compass near north.
191
00:14:38,380 --> 00:14:42,028
- Congratulations on your victoire.
- Thank you.
192
00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,745
Now, we must talk.
We have une petite crise.
193
00:14:44,849 --> 00:14:49,204
- Crise? Oh, jamais.
- We have decided
194
00:14:49,308 --> 00:14:54,127
to take our young protégé,
Miss Chi Chi, to Hollywood with us.
195
00:14:54,232 --> 00:14:56,923
- How Three Sisters. How Chekhov.
- We?
196
00:14:57,027 --> 00:14:59,462
- What part do I play?
- Two round trips to LA.
197
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:02,006
- To have or to dump?
- To dump.
198
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:05,222
~ To-dump, to-dump,to dump-dump-dump ~
199
00:15:05,326 --> 00:15:08,268
- One thousand.
- That is fabulous.
200
00:15:08,372 --> 00:15:11,812
- Then three round trips to LA.
- Mode of transportation?
201
00:15:11,916 --> 00:15:14,103
- Cheapest.
- Oh, well, mule!
202
00:15:14,207 --> 00:15:16,524
Sorry, darling. Forgive me.
203
00:15:16,628 --> 00:15:19,858
- You've got her number.
- Let's say bus.
204
00:15:19,963 --> 00:15:24,449
I do not do the bus. You have me
mistaken for Miss Rosa Parks.
205
00:15:24,554 --> 00:15:28,827
Ixnay on the Hound, then.
How about chemin de fer? Train.
206
00:15:28,931 --> 00:15:32,496
- Oh, yes! Does it have a club car?
- How much?
207
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:36,960
Let's see. Three round-trip tickets,
two adults, one child...
208
00:15:37,064 --> 00:15:39,214
Tell me, does it have a club car?
209
00:15:39,318 --> 00:15:42,132
1,500?
210
00:15:42,236 --> 00:15:45,551
That is totally out of our league.
What else can we do?
211
00:15:45,655 --> 00:15:48,305
On account of your need
and unprecedented glamour,
212
00:15:48,410 --> 00:15:51,058
today you're the lucky winner of...
213
00:15:51,163 --> 00:15:55,731
- Can we pay in trade?
- It's English, darling. Noxee.
214
00:15:55,835 --> 00:15:59,148
"Crazy Elijah -
my cars are my children."
215
00:15:59,252 --> 00:16:02,402
Drop my name,
anything on the lot - $50.
216
00:16:02,506 --> 00:16:07,159
- Problem solved. A lifesaver.
- Are we driving to Los Angeles?
217
00:16:07,263 --> 00:16:09,660
- Cherry Lifesaver.
- All-day sucker.
218
00:16:09,764 --> 00:16:13,917
Are we discussing driving
from New York to Los Angeles?
219
00:16:14,021 --> 00:16:17,877
Don't start with me. We will go on.
I've got to go. Bye!
220
00:16:17,981 --> 00:16:23,260
This America does not
respond kindly to our sort of person.
221
00:16:23,365 --> 00:16:26,342
No one say anything frivolous
for a few moments,
222
00:16:26,447 --> 00:16:28,885
I am having a significant experience.
223
00:16:28,989 --> 00:16:30,558
Whoopee
224
00:16:30,662 --> 00:16:36,227
Miss Julie Newmar has been watching
silently over this conversation.
225
00:16:36,332 --> 00:16:39,359
And look at her, vintage Miss Julie.
226
00:16:39,463 --> 00:16:42,849
She is the perfect,
the ultimate... Oh!
227
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:47,612
Describe her
and do not use the word "statuesque".
228
00:16:47,716 --> 00:16:53,081
Miss Julie, you are statuesque
and you were the only Cat Woman.
229
00:16:53,185 --> 00:16:55,581
- Read it, please.
- "To Wong Foo,
230
00:16:55,685 --> 00:16:58,628
"thanks for everything,
Julie Newmar."
231
00:16:58,732 --> 00:17:02,837
- Who was Wong Foo?
- I don't know but they were close.
232
00:17:02,942 --> 00:17:04,676
I'm hungry.
233
00:17:04,780 --> 00:17:09,845
We must take this message across
the land as our sovereign token.
234
00:17:09,950 --> 00:17:12,099
Let's just relax.
235
00:17:12,203 --> 00:17:16,809
I was back in the club car,
now we're driving across America.
236
00:17:16,913 --> 00:17:21,067
¡Ay, nenita! Look! Look at this!
Look what I found.
237
00:17:21,171 --> 00:17:23,651
Golly, golly, golly!
238
00:17:23,755 --> 00:17:27,446
- The seats are like butter.
- Now this is a car.
239
00:17:27,551 --> 00:17:31,115
A car? Mary Alice Louise, no.
This is a land yacht.
240
00:17:31,219 --> 00:17:34,867
I used to know a lawyer guy
who had a car just like this
241
00:17:34,972 --> 00:17:38,333
and I said then and there
I'd have one for myself.
242
00:17:38,438 --> 00:17:41,462
- Can we have this?
- But we daren't.
243
00:17:41,567 --> 00:17:44,257
I feel like Miss Jayne Mansfield
in this.
244
00:17:44,361 --> 00:17:46,712
Ooh! Not a good auto reference.
245
00:17:46,817 --> 00:17:49,512
Please, it's a wreck. Ladies.
246
00:17:49,616 --> 00:17:53,915
Be careful with the...
It'll never get you to California!
247
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:59,855
- It's the look!
- Noxee, how can you possibly refuse?
248
00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:02,901
Internal combustion,
the ultimate accessory.
249
00:18:03,005 --> 00:18:08,109
Ladies, please, for your own safety,
go with the Toyota Corolla.
250
00:18:08,213 --> 00:18:10,992
It comes down to
that age-old decision.
251
00:18:11,096 --> 00:18:12,532
Style...
252
00:18:12,636 --> 00:18:15,147
or substance?
253
00:18:16,989 --> 00:18:19,314
Hmm...
254
00:18:27,708 --> 00:18:29,581
~ Gotta move ~
255
00:18:30,919 --> 00:18:32,793
~ Gotta get out ~
256
00:18:33,839 --> 00:18:36,477
~ Gotta leave this place ~
257
00:18:36,581 --> 00:18:39,559
~ Gotta find some place ~
258
00:18:39,663 --> 00:18:42,940
~ Some other placeSome brand new place ~
259
00:18:43,044 --> 00:18:47,150
~ Some place where each face thatI see won't be staring back at me ~
260
00:18:47,254 --> 00:18:49,144
~ Telling me what to beand how to be it ~
261
00:18:49,479 --> 00:18:54,391
~ Some place where I can just be me ~
262
00:18:55,736 --> 00:18:57,609
~ Gotta move ~
263
00:18:58,780 --> 00:19:00,497
~ Gotta get out... ~
264
00:19:00,601 --> 00:19:04,499
Let me ask you something.
We just left Philadelphia, right?
265
00:19:04,603 --> 00:19:09,379
- So the next city is...
- Bala Cynwyd.
266
00:19:09,484 --> 00:19:13,050
- Bala Cynwyd. It's Welsh.
- That's right.
267
00:19:13,154 --> 00:19:16,969
- How do you know that?
- How did you know that?
268
00:19:17,074 --> 00:19:19,725
Believe it or not, it's my hometown.
269
00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:23,227
- Get out!
- Oh, my goodness! I want to see!
270
00:19:23,331 --> 00:19:28,068
- I wanna see where she was birthed!
- The birthplace of Miss Vida Boheme.
271
00:19:28,172 --> 00:19:31,697
There's got to be
a historical marker or something.
272
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:37,328
~ ... when I find me that new place,maybe ours ~
273
00:19:37,433 --> 00:19:39,119
~ Gotta leave this town ~
274
00:19:39,223 --> 00:19:41,039
~ Gotta leave this place ~
275
00:19:41,144 --> 00:19:47,209
~ Gotta find a new man ~
276
00:19:47,313 --> 00:19:49,410
~ Gotta move ~
277
00:19:54,086 --> 00:19:58,249
Welcome to Bala Cynwyd.
It's so beautiful!
278
00:19:59,591 --> 00:20:04,937
Here, they made me stop being Esther
Williams in Million Dollar Mermaid,
279
00:20:05,041 --> 00:20:08,189
thus marring
the Methodist annual picnic.
280
00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:11,608
How come you never told us
you were rich?
281
00:20:11,713 --> 00:20:16,533
- I'm not rich, my parents are.
- You gave all this up?
282
00:20:16,637 --> 00:20:19,867
There will be a barbecue
at Twelve Oaks tonight.
283
00:20:19,971 --> 00:20:23,415
We were so poor my parents
got married for the rice.
284
00:20:23,519 --> 00:20:25,539
Why did you give this up?
285
00:20:25,643 --> 00:20:29,042
- Vida gave all this up to be Vida.
- Hello.
286
00:20:29,147 --> 00:20:32,341
Next time you give something like
this up, call me, I'll take it.
287
00:20:32,445 --> 00:20:34,593
There. There.
288
00:20:34,697 --> 00:20:38,796
¡Ay, mama! Look!
289
00:20:45,804 --> 00:20:48,924
Fabulous. Simply fabulous.
290
00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:06,246
Maps are cheating.
291
00:21:06,351 --> 00:21:09,295
Don't do that! What are you doing?
292
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,445
Go back!
293
00:21:12,289 --> 00:21:16,951
Oh, Jesus.
Vida, this is unbecoming of a lady.
294
00:21:25,010 --> 00:21:27,558
How are we gonna know
where we're going?
295
00:21:27,663 --> 00:21:31,357
- Instincts, my dear.
- And exquisite wit.
296
00:21:31,461 --> 00:21:35,025
To become a drag queen,
you have to learn these things.
297
00:21:35,129 --> 00:21:39,155
What do you mean, "be a drag queen"?
I am a drag queen.
298
00:21:39,260 --> 00:21:43,444
Oh, child, no. You are, simply put,
a boy in a dress.
299
00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:47,624
When a straight man puts on a dress
to get kicks,
300
00:21:47,728 --> 00:21:49,748
he is a transvestite.
301
00:21:49,852 --> 00:21:52,464
When a man is a woman
trapped in a man's body
302
00:21:52,569 --> 00:21:55,757
and has the little operation,
he is a transsexual.
303
00:21:55,862 --> 00:21:58,132
- I know that.
- When a gay man
304
00:21:58,236 --> 00:22:03,683
has way too much fashion sense
for one gender, he is a drag queen.
305
00:22:03,787 --> 00:22:04,929
Thank you.
306
00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:10,429
And when a tired Latin boy puts on
a dress, he is simply a boy in a dress.
307
00:22:13,266 --> 00:22:16,902
- I'm just a boy in a dress?
- Definitely.
308
00:22:17,007 --> 00:22:21,724
OK, OK, that's it.
That does it. I'm history.
309
00:22:23,944 --> 00:22:29,334
Maybe there is a place for somebody
like me but I don't need that.
310
00:22:29,438 --> 00:22:31,124
She running across the border.
311
00:22:31,228 --> 00:22:34,755
You have huge potential
and you are squandering it!
312
00:22:34,859 --> 00:22:36,673
What do you care?
313
00:22:36,778 --> 00:22:40,052
Yes, you will start off
a mere boy in a dress.
314
00:22:40,156 --> 00:22:42,636
But when we are done
with this crusade,
315
00:22:42,741 --> 00:22:44,762
Auntie Vida and Auntie Noxee
316
00:22:44,866 --> 00:22:49,187
will give you the outrageous outlook
and indomitable spirit
317
00:22:49,291 --> 00:22:52,630
that it will take to make you
a full-fledged drag queen.
318
00:22:54,224 --> 00:22:58,655
So now, I want you to turn
your sway-backed little self around
319
00:22:58,759 --> 00:23:03,225
on those Robert Clergerie knockoffs
and get back in this car.
320
00:23:04,526 --> 00:23:06,685
Maybe I'm not just a boy in a dress.
321
00:23:11,450 --> 00:23:15,032
All right. You are a drag princess.
322
00:23:16,038 --> 00:23:18,797
I could live with that.
I'm a princess.
323
00:23:18,901 --> 00:23:23,176
P to the R to the IN
to the CESS! I'm a princess!
324
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:27,305
- Are you all right?
- You gotta like! Princess Chi Chi.
325
00:23:27,409 --> 00:23:30,353
That's fine
but you still have a lot to learn
326
00:23:30,457 --> 00:23:33,065
before you're a full-fledged queen.
327
00:23:33,169 --> 00:23:36,064
Can I stay a princess?
They're younger.
328
00:23:36,168 --> 00:23:40,654
Does everything have to be a joke?
This is not a masquerade, it's real.
329
00:23:40,758 --> 00:23:43,449
There are steps to becoming a queen.
330
00:23:43,554 --> 00:23:46,228
I'm sorry. How many?
331
00:23:48,153 --> 00:23:51,985
Four. There are four steps
to becoming a drag queen.
332
00:23:53,075 --> 00:23:55,207
Tell me, what are they?
333
00:23:55,311 --> 00:23:59,127
Patience, ma chérie.
You will know when you've done them.
334
00:23:59,231 --> 00:24:03,047
Miss Noxeema,
our duchess of protocol, will inform you.
335
00:24:03,151 --> 00:24:08,261
Just pay attention. Auntie
Vida will make you a big old queen.
336
00:24:08,365 --> 00:24:11,394
God grant me the serenity
to accept being a boy in a dress,
337
00:24:11,498 --> 00:24:15,309
the courage to change with the fashions
and the wisdom to know the difference.
338
00:24:15,414 --> 00:24:18,314
Congratulations, Miss Rodriguez.
339
00:24:18,419 --> 00:24:21,945
That was step number one
towards true queenliness.
340
00:24:22,049 --> 00:24:24,069
Step one already!
341
00:24:24,173 --> 00:24:27,451
Let good thoughts
be your sword and shield.
342
00:24:27,555 --> 00:24:30,702
~ Take a look at yourselfWhat do you see? ~
343
00:24:30,806 --> 00:24:34,454
~ A willing victim of mediocrity ~
344
00:24:34,558 --> 00:24:38,668
~ No one told youyou can't have it all ~
345
00:24:38,772 --> 00:24:42,215
~ It's time to act upand have a ball ~
346
00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:45,245
~ You've got to be yourselfGonna change that vibe... ~
347
00:24:46,878 --> 00:24:49,472
I'm so tired,
I wish I were dead.
348
00:24:49,576 --> 00:24:52,640
We all tired, honey.
349
00:24:52,745 --> 00:24:55,099
We're gonna have to stop sometime.
350
00:24:55,203 --> 00:24:58,271
I know. I've just
sort of been postponing it.
351
00:24:58,375 --> 00:25:00,637
Stop torturing us.
352
00:25:04,646 --> 00:25:06,188
OK.
353
00:25:16,408 --> 00:25:19,295
Budget Hosts are really good,
I'm serious.
354
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,923
You can keep the mints
even if you don't stay all night.
355
00:25:23,027 --> 00:25:25,546
It's a Budget Host.
356
00:25:25,651 --> 00:25:28,802
I don't know.
It's just so Middle America.
357
00:25:28,906 --> 00:25:31,888
- Why don't we sleep in the car?
- Oh, please
358
00:25:31,992 --> 00:25:34,014
I've got to sleep in a real bed.
359
00:25:34,118 --> 00:25:39,061
People are gonna be cruel, maybe
violent. We have been there before.
360
00:25:39,165 --> 00:25:43,109
Let's throw you two a pity party.
Two fraidy old ladies.
361
00:25:43,213 --> 00:25:46,361
- What is she doing?
- Live life before it lives you.
362
00:25:46,465 --> 00:25:48,903
- She'll get herself killed.
- When?
363
00:25:49,007 --> 00:25:51,953
Gonna be second-rate your whole life.
364
00:25:52,057 --> 00:25:53,909
Please get in this car.
365
00:25:54,013 --> 00:25:57,246
I'm not sleeping with
the Wicked Witch Of The West.
366
00:25:57,350 --> 00:25:59,040
Chi Chi, please!
367
00:25:59,144 --> 00:26:02,376
I need some sleep tonight, OK?
368
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,712
- Take a picture, it'll last longer.
- We have to go get her. Let's go.
369
00:26:05,817 --> 00:26:08,429
Why do you always do this to me?
370
00:26:08,533 --> 00:26:11,805
- Ridiculous. A bunch of wet rags.
- She's crazy.
371
00:26:11,909 --> 00:26:15,100
We're staying in this no-tell motel
so be quiet.
372
00:26:15,204 --> 00:26:19,938
- I should have met you outside.
- It's OK, Mr Manager.
373
00:26:20,042 --> 00:26:22,523
We came in for a little sanctuary.
374
00:26:22,627 --> 00:26:25,986
- Welcome.
- Welcome?
375
00:26:26,090 --> 00:26:30,074
- There's wine and cheese.
- I love to be wined and dined.
376
00:26:30,179 --> 00:26:32,869
You'll meet many
of your friends inside.
377
00:26:32,973 --> 00:26:35,536
Friends?
378
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:39,287
Get with the programme. No one is
so rich as to throw away a friend.
379
00:26:39,391 --> 00:26:41,543
Is there a drag ball going on?
380
00:26:41,647 --> 00:26:44,295
Basketball?
381
00:26:44,399 --> 00:26:46,944
I'll be centre,
you be cheerleader.
382
00:26:49,251 --> 00:26:51,510
Come on, over here!
383
00:26:51,615 --> 00:26:54,338
- I'm open.
- Move the ball around.
384
00:26:59,219 --> 00:27:00,963
Yeah!
385
00:27:09,563 --> 00:27:12,111
Miss Chi Chi, I must commend you
386
00:27:12,215 --> 00:27:14,739
on your entrance
into this establishment.
387
00:27:14,843 --> 00:27:19,082
Oooh! Absolutely.
Step two, big time.
388
00:27:19,186 --> 00:27:22,914
Halfway towards
utter, utter fabulousness.
389
00:27:23,018 --> 00:27:26,585
Step two to becoming a queen -
ignore adversity.
390
00:27:26,689 --> 00:27:29,154
- Toast to Miss Chi Chi.
- We salute you.
391
00:27:45,807 --> 00:27:47,883
~ Oh, she's a brick ~
392
00:27:48,977 --> 00:27:50,851
~ House ~
393
00:27:51,897 --> 00:27:55,533
~ She's mighty, mightyJust lettin' it all hang out ~
394
00:27:55,637 --> 00:27:57,952
~ She's a brick ~
395
00:27:58,056 --> 00:27:59,577
~ House ~
396
00:27:59,682 --> 00:28:02,996
~ I like ladies stackedAnd that's a fact ~
397
00:28:03,101 --> 00:28:06,833
~ Ain't holding nothing backOh, she's a brick ~
398
00:28:06,937 --> 00:28:08,339
~ House ~
399
00:28:08,444 --> 00:28:11,384
~ Yeah, she's the oneThe only one ~
400
00:28:11,488 --> 00:28:13,332
~ Built like an Amazon... ~
401
00:28:23,345 --> 00:28:27,888
"Lost in the hot embrace
of Damien's sinewy bronze flesh,
402
00:28:28,809 --> 00:28:32,279
"Laritza surrendered
her body completely..."
403
00:28:32,383 --> 00:28:33,526
Oh!
404
00:28:33,630 --> 00:28:37,907
"...melting with every touch
of his insatiable lipses."
405
00:28:38,012 --> 00:28:39,977
Oh, stop. My nerves.
406
00:28:41,071 --> 00:28:43,120
Where the freak are we?
407
00:28:43,224 --> 00:28:45,663
The last person I saw
408
00:28:45,767 --> 00:28:50,238
didn't have but two teeth in
his mouth, so I guess West Virginia.
409
00:28:56,003 --> 00:28:58,845
- Oh, what in gay hell?
- What's the matter?
410
00:28:58,949 --> 00:29:01,931
- This could prove problematic.
- Why?
411
00:29:02,036 --> 00:29:05,811
The first name
on my driver's licence is Eugene.
412
00:29:05,916 --> 00:29:07,565
Eugene?
413
00:29:07,669 --> 00:29:10,011
Yes.
Eugene?
414
00:29:11,101 --> 00:29:12,761
Eugene?!
415
00:29:37,377 --> 00:29:42,390
- Can I see your licence?
- What seems to be the problem?
416
00:29:42,494 --> 00:29:44,976
You got a tail light out.
Your licence.
417
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:49,065
Oh! A tail light out. That is
the very least of our problems.
418
00:29:49,169 --> 00:29:51,188
- What have we got here?
- Hola.
419
00:29:51,292 --> 00:29:52,483
Hi.
420
00:29:52,587 --> 00:29:55,735
Erm... I was wondering
if you could help us.
421
00:29:55,839 --> 00:29:58,533
We are three young
career girls from...
422
00:29:58,637 --> 00:30:01,743
- Career girls?
- Yes. From New York City.
423
00:30:01,848 --> 00:30:04,283
We are so lost you cannot believe.
424
00:30:04,388 --> 00:30:08,249
- Where do you think we are?
- West Virginia?
425
00:30:08,353 --> 00:30:10,290
West Virginia?
426
00:30:10,395 --> 00:30:13,545
You're a long way
from West Virginia, girls.
427
00:30:13,649 --> 00:30:18,083
Could you possibly help us find
a moderately priced hotel?
428
00:30:19,836 --> 00:30:22,762
We don't go for that
around these parts,
429
00:30:22,867 --> 00:30:25,894
white girls riding around
with niggers and spics.
430
00:30:25,998 --> 00:30:29,226
- Talk to him, you speak honky.
- Sheriff Dullard...
431
00:30:29,330 --> 00:30:31,769
- That's Dollard.
- I am sorry.
432
00:30:31,873 --> 00:30:35,862
- It's Dollard.
- It says Dullard on your name tag.
433
00:30:35,966 --> 00:30:38,605
It's a misprint!
434
00:30:40,899 --> 00:30:44,233
As I was saying,
we are three young career girls...
435
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:49,318
- You're pretty.
- Why, thank you.
436
00:30:50,075 --> 00:30:52,501
Step out of the vehicle.
437
00:30:52,606 --> 00:30:55,465
- Don't do it.
- Vida, please be careful.
438
00:30:55,569 --> 00:30:57,615
Get out of the car.
439
00:30:59,835 --> 00:31:01,384
Christ, you're tall.
440
00:31:01,488 --> 00:31:05,411
- Is this really necessary?
- Where's your licence?
441
00:31:07,259 --> 00:31:09,832
Come with me to my car. Come on.
442
00:31:10,929 --> 00:31:12,838
You stay in the vehicle.
443
00:31:13,765 --> 00:31:19,277
Officer, if I could just explain.
My licence, the name...
444
00:31:19,381 --> 00:31:22,863
- Don't worry about your licence.
- Don't worry?
445
00:31:22,967 --> 00:31:25,895
I think maybe he's prejudiced.
446
00:31:27,571 --> 00:31:30,276
I bet you were the brightest
in your class.
447
00:31:32,659 --> 00:31:34,708
What are you doing?
448
00:31:34,812 --> 00:31:37,213
- Give me a kiss.
- No. Please, no.
449
00:31:37,317 --> 00:31:41,175
I know what you want. You know what
you career girls want?
450
00:31:41,279 --> 00:31:43,928
- Careers?
- Same thing as every girl wants.
451
00:31:44,032 --> 00:31:47,513
- No, please don't do this.
- Give Daddy some sugar.
452
00:31:47,617 --> 00:31:50,478
Please, no! Please. No.
453
00:31:50,582 --> 00:31:53,304
When a lady says no, she means...
454
00:31:54,139 --> 00:31:56,760
Get your hand off my dick, buddy!
455
00:32:01,104 --> 00:32:03,477
Sheriff Dullard?
456
00:32:04,566 --> 00:32:06,440
Sh-Sheriff Dullard?
457
00:32:10,822 --> 00:32:13,748
Noxee. Oh, no. Noxee!
458
00:32:13,853 --> 00:32:17,583
- Don't go out there.
- What is going on?
459
00:32:17,688 --> 00:32:20,966
I think he's dead.
Don't leave me.
460
00:32:21,070 --> 00:32:23,589
- I killed him.
- Why is he on the ground?
461
00:32:23,694 --> 00:32:25,762
- Are you sure?
- Don't go over!
462
00:32:25,867 --> 00:32:28,558
- How do you know he's dead?
- I'm not sure.
463
00:32:28,662 --> 00:32:33,018
- He had his hand up my dress...
- Feeling you up?
464
00:32:33,122 --> 00:32:35,633
He was trying to have
his way with me.
465
00:32:37,808 --> 00:32:42,238
- How do you know he's dead?
- If you want to know, you check.
466
00:32:42,342 --> 00:32:45,199
- Don't get an attitude.
- Let me check.
467
00:32:45,304 --> 00:32:48,450
I knew this accountant
who died on me like this.
468
00:32:48,554 --> 00:32:52,110
- Be careful, Chi Chi.
- I can't believe this.
469
00:32:54,324 --> 00:32:58,294
Mamis, don't quote me
but I think this one is deceased.
470
00:32:58,398 --> 00:33:03,255
Oh, my God. A dead white policeman?
471
00:33:03,359 --> 00:33:07,219
- Should we blow?
- Yes. Two words, b-low.
472
00:33:07,324 --> 00:33:11,053
- Let's go.
- Don't leave me with this dead man!
473
00:33:11,158 --> 00:33:15,352
Look, Miss Necrophilia,
get yourself in this car right now!
474
00:33:15,456 --> 00:33:19,315
I can't believe this.
I get a nice crown, a nice sceptre,
475
00:33:19,419 --> 00:33:22,641
then I end up being part of...
476
00:34:13,362 --> 00:34:15,734
What are we gonna do now?
477
00:34:30,712 --> 00:34:33,417
Lovely night. Look at those stars.
478
00:34:35,300 --> 00:34:36,895
Come on.
479
00:34:36,999 --> 00:34:39,506
Use your muscles.
Jealous?
480
00:34:46,019 --> 00:34:48,152
Oh, no, it isn't.
481
00:34:48,256 --> 00:34:51,572
Please...
482
00:34:51,676 --> 00:34:54,454
Now, we're stuck here forever.
I knew it.
483
00:34:54,558 --> 00:34:58,580
I could be in a comfortable,
climate-controlled environment
484
00:34:58,684 --> 00:35:01,205
on a transcontinental airline,
485
00:35:01,310 --> 00:35:05,587
enjoying my individual package
of peanuts and my warm towel
486
00:35:05,691 --> 00:35:07,713
if it wasn't for what? What?
487
00:35:07,817 --> 00:35:09,968
The little Hispanic rent-a-tart.
488
00:35:10,072 --> 00:35:14,345
I didn't ask to come on this trip,
did I? No, I don't think so.
489
00:35:14,450 --> 00:35:18,558
Did I ask you to be making me over
and jump all kinds of hoops?
490
00:35:18,662 --> 00:35:20,268
No, I don't think so.
491
00:35:20,372 --> 00:35:24,692
And do I want to go to jail
because of some cop-killer?
492
00:35:24,797 --> 00:35:27,487
The next town,
I'm jumping on the first man
493
00:35:27,591 --> 00:35:31,908
and I'm riding him all the way to
New York City and away from you two
494
00:35:32,012 --> 00:35:35,075
because this trip sucks, it sucks.
495
00:35:35,179 --> 00:35:39,537
After all we've done to include you,
you would leave us so quickly?
496
00:35:39,642 --> 00:35:41,164
Like that.
497
00:35:41,268 --> 00:35:43,501
All right.
498
00:35:43,605 --> 00:35:46,547
Since you have learned
absolutely nothing,
499
00:35:46,652 --> 00:35:50,406
I am hereby stripping you
of all your princess points.
500
00:35:51,293 --> 00:35:55,262
- Ooh, that's voodoo. That's cold.
- You can't do that.
501
00:35:55,367 --> 00:35:59,180
When I think Noxee and I decided
to take pity on this Latin boy in drag
502
00:35:59,284 --> 00:36:04,022
- and bring her along with us...
- "Noxee and l"? Uh, uh, uh.
503
00:36:04,127 --> 00:36:08,860
No, no! Noxee didn't decide anything.
Noxee got dragged into this.
504
00:36:08,965 --> 00:36:13,366
What about the two of you
leaving poor Miss Vida
505
00:36:13,470 --> 00:36:17,787
at the hands of this possibly dead
Sheriff Dullard
506
00:36:17,891 --> 00:36:22,440
and you stayed stuck
in this car like Mary Jo Kopechne?
507
00:36:25,285 --> 00:36:27,878
O dear and oft-thanked Wong Foo,
508
00:36:27,983 --> 00:36:32,090
it's not that I'm asking for help
but if something, anything...
509
00:36:32,194 --> 00:36:36,885
If somebody gave me back my
princess points, I would get us a ride.
510
00:36:36,990 --> 00:36:40,100
How can you hitchhike
if there are no cars, stupid?
511
00:36:40,204 --> 00:36:44,606
You don't know me very well.
I'm the Latina Marilyn Monroe.
512
00:36:44,710 --> 00:36:47,799
I got more legs
than a bucket of chicken.
513
00:36:50,435 --> 00:36:53,156
She'll get kidnapped
by some mountain man
514
00:36:53,260 --> 00:36:55,279
and we will have to rescue her.
515
00:36:55,383 --> 00:36:58,524
Why she always gotta have
the last word, huh?
516
00:37:19,089 --> 00:37:21,138
You need a ride?
517
00:37:21,242 --> 00:37:23,393
Yeah! Our car died over there
518
00:37:23,498 --> 00:37:27,355
and I just need to go
pick up my friends, all right?
519
00:37:27,459 --> 00:37:29,304
Hop in.
520
00:37:45,699 --> 00:37:49,834
Get inside.
I got us a ride to Spidersville.
521
00:37:49,939 --> 00:37:51,988
That's Snydersville.
522
00:37:53,165 --> 00:37:55,122
Thank you, Wong Foo.
523
00:38:00,339 --> 00:38:02,720
- Hi.
- Hi.
524
00:38:02,824 --> 00:38:04,875
Thank you.
525
00:38:53,517 --> 00:38:57,109
Well, ladies,
welcome to Snydersville.
526
00:38:57,213 --> 00:38:59,061
Thank you.
527
00:39:00,565 --> 00:39:04,694
- Virgil! Carol Ann!
- OK...
528
00:39:09,408 --> 00:39:11,667
Virgil?
529
00:39:11,771 --> 00:39:13,617
Carol Ann?
530
00:39:15,872 --> 00:39:19,076
And you thought
the Dust Bowl was over?
531
00:39:20,419 --> 00:39:25,496
- Bobby Ray, is that you?
- It sure is. Is Virgil in?
532
00:39:26,842 --> 00:39:31,438
- Virgil. It's Bobby Ray. You in?
- No.
533
00:39:31,542 --> 00:39:33,562
He's in.
534
00:39:33,666 --> 00:39:36,777
Tell him we got a big Cadillac
broke down upside the road.
535
00:39:36,881 --> 00:39:39,694
He's got a big Cadillac broke down.
536
00:39:39,798 --> 00:39:43,555
- So?
- He'll be right down.
537
00:39:53,368 --> 00:39:55,417
OK, well, this is it.
538
00:39:55,521 --> 00:39:58,966
Here you got your bathroom,
you got towels.
539
00:39:59,070 --> 00:40:02,466
If you want anything, holler.
We'll put your bags in the hall.
540
00:40:02,570 --> 00:40:05,092
You've got an overhead light here.
541
00:40:05,197 --> 00:40:08,173
- Go get it.
- That's not cool.
542
00:40:09,551 --> 00:40:12,727
You girls all did want to be
in the same room.
543
00:40:12,831 --> 00:40:17,431
Do you, by chance, have a room
that's possibly more inhabitable?
544
00:40:18,602 --> 00:40:20,818
This is the presidential suite.
545
00:40:20,922 --> 00:40:25,365
Must have been
one of those bad presidents.
546
00:40:25,469 --> 00:40:28,329
You seem a little tired
so I'll leave you be.
547
00:40:28,434 --> 00:40:31,873
Your car should be ready tomorrow.
It's only one night.
548
00:40:31,978 --> 00:40:36,961
- Excuse me.
- There's no toilet.
549
00:40:37,065 --> 00:40:38,880
You know what I think?
550
00:40:38,985 --> 00:40:42,630
The last black person
to stay here was Sam Cooke.
551
00:40:42,734 --> 00:40:44,925
"'The fates must despise me
552
00:40:45,029 --> 00:40:47,596
"'for I am doomed
to spend the rest of my days
553
00:40:47,701 --> 00:40:50,138
"'in this miserable cell.'
554
00:40:50,242 --> 00:40:52,311
"The rest of her days?
555
00:40:52,415 --> 00:40:56,521
"Suddenly, from out of the darkness
came evidence to the contrary.
556
00:40:56,625 --> 00:40:58,980
"'By the sword of my father
before me,
557
00:40:59,084 --> 00:41:02,733
"'I, Juan Carlos la Noche
will rescue Princess Laritza."'
558
00:41:02,838 --> 00:41:07,160
I think tomorrow
I'll wear a say-something hat.
559
00:41:07,264 --> 00:41:11,148
I think tomorrow
is a say-something hat day.
560
00:41:13,865 --> 00:41:17,585
"'I'm here to save you,
Princess Laritza.'
561
00:41:17,689 --> 00:41:21,196
"'You are my knight
in shining armour."'
562
00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:58,749
Why do I feel like I'm in
the Tournament Of Roses Parade?
563
00:41:58,853 --> 00:42:01,669
- Because you're as big as a float?
- Your mother.
564
00:42:01,774 --> 00:42:03,879
- Thank you.
- OK.
565
00:42:03,983 --> 00:42:08,509
As soon as I get to a town with a bus
I'm out of here. Howdy, y'all.
566
00:42:08,613 --> 00:42:10,829
Hello.
567
00:42:12,716 --> 00:42:15,852
For girls,
they're sure strong and big.
568
00:42:15,957 --> 00:42:19,020
- Brunell?
- Virgil.
569
00:42:19,124 --> 00:42:23,528
Oh, Virgil.
So how long will she take to fix?
570
00:42:23,632 --> 00:42:27,360
- All of five minutes.
- Oh, my goodness. Thank you.
571
00:42:27,464 --> 00:42:29,655
When I get the part.
572
00:42:29,759 --> 00:42:35,161
See, I don't have any Cadillac parts,
especially no old ones.
573
00:42:35,266 --> 00:42:40,124
- I can order it for Monday.
- It's Saturday morning now.
574
00:42:40,228 --> 00:42:43,505
- What do we do till Monday?
- You got to wait.
575
00:42:43,609 --> 00:42:46,914
Oh, no, no, no, no!
People are waiting for me.
576
00:42:50,045 --> 00:42:54,588
Ladies. Ladies.
You're just gonna have to wait.
577
00:42:55,676 --> 00:42:59,091
- Maybe Virgil can call his friend...
- Carol Ann.
578
00:43:01,890 --> 00:43:04,067
Excuse me.
579
00:43:04,172 --> 00:43:07,068
What are we gonna do now,
Miss Know-It-All?
580
00:43:07,172 --> 00:43:09,111
- Hello.
- What are we gonna do?
581
00:43:09,215 --> 00:43:11,321
We will have to stay here till Monday
582
00:43:11,426 --> 00:43:15,812
and get to know this lovely town
and its inhabit... ants.
583
00:43:16,571 --> 00:43:19,691
Excuse me. What are you gawking at?
584
00:43:21,159 --> 00:43:24,252
What are you gonna do about it?
585
00:43:24,356 --> 00:43:26,506
Nothing.
586
00:43:26,611 --> 00:43:30,717
I love roughnecks. If I was your bread,
would you be my butter?
587
00:43:30,821 --> 00:43:33,342
My God.
This is my idea of hell!
588
00:43:33,447 --> 00:43:36,930
- Careful.
- Who is their art director? Ma Joad?
589
00:43:37,035 --> 00:43:40,267
We will make the most of it. Watch.
590
00:43:40,371 --> 00:43:43,899
Pardon me, kind sirs. Pardon me.
591
00:43:44,003 --> 00:43:46,317
Thank you.
592
00:43:46,421 --> 00:43:49,113
My name is Vida Boheme
of the Manhattan Bohemes
593
00:43:49,218 --> 00:43:53,029
and my travelling companions and I
594
00:43:53,133 --> 00:43:56,201
will be staying in your fair hamlet
for the weekend.
595
00:43:56,305 --> 00:44:01,070
Are there some historical points of
interest that we should not miss?
596
00:44:03,619 --> 00:44:08,695
She can't hear and she don't talk.
She's just a little...
597
00:44:09,916 --> 00:44:11,678
Oh. Oh...
598
00:44:11,782 --> 00:44:16,886
There's nothing interesting here
for you, you're from New York City.
599
00:44:16,990 --> 00:44:19,883
But we'll try to be accommodating.
600
00:44:22,095 --> 00:44:24,847
Well, er, thank you.
601
00:44:27,059 --> 00:44:28,525
Pardon me.
602
00:44:28,629 --> 00:44:34,114
But let's just all suck it up
and make this place tolerable, OK?
603
00:44:34,218 --> 00:44:38,105
Now, ready?
Operation Decorator Storm.
604
00:44:42,407 --> 00:44:46,357
~ Wonder WomanWonder Woman ~
605
00:44:47,162 --> 00:44:51,214
~ All the world is waiting for you ~
606
00:44:51,318 --> 00:44:54,095
~ And the power you possess ~
607
00:44:54,199 --> 00:44:59,265
~ In your satin tightsFighting for your rights ~
608
00:44:59,369 --> 00:45:03,670
~ And the old red, white and blue ~
609
00:45:05,347 --> 00:45:07,221
~ Wonder Woman ~
610
00:45:09,476 --> 00:45:11,267
~ Wonder Woman ~
611
00:45:13,021 --> 00:45:14,895
~ Wonder Woman ~
612
00:45:16,984 --> 00:45:19,826
~ Wonder Woman ~
613
00:45:19,930 --> 00:45:23,023
~ You're a wonder,Wonder Woman ~
614
00:45:32,457 --> 00:45:34,415
- That's him.
- Jeez!
615
00:45:39,381 --> 00:45:42,268
- This guy's living.
- You think?
616
00:45:42,372 --> 00:45:46,017
- Sheriff Dullard?
- Dollard here.
617
00:45:46,121 --> 00:45:48,855
- Your badge says Dullard.
- It's a misprint.
618
00:45:48,959 --> 00:45:53,226
- Sheriff, what happened here?
- I was attacked.
619
00:45:56,398 --> 00:45:59,157
- Hello, Loretta.
- Hello.
620
00:45:59,261 --> 00:46:04,829
Alcoholic. Low self-esteem.
Her daddy used to call her Baby Ugly.
621
00:46:04,934 --> 00:46:07,991
She took to the bottle
as soon as she could swallow.
622
00:46:08,994 --> 00:46:13,507
Over there. Her and her husband
ain't had sex for nearly seven years.
623
00:46:13,611 --> 00:46:18,678
Another mess is the youngest
of the Budd family over there.
624
00:46:18,782 --> 00:46:22,390
Poor thing, he's got a sad little...
st-st-st-stutter.
625
00:46:22,494 --> 00:46:26,140
It'd bring a tear to your eye.
Then there's Clara.
626
00:46:26,244 --> 00:46:29,478
You can say anything to her.
She don't hear, she can't talk.
627
00:46:29,582 --> 00:46:31,400
- She can't hear you?
- No.
628
00:46:31,504 --> 00:46:34,023
Your stockings are falling down!
629
00:46:34,127 --> 00:46:39,659
There's no medical reason. Ever since
her husband lost the movie theatre
630
00:46:39,763 --> 00:46:44,368
and he run off with that lady film -
what do you call it? - Distributor.
631
00:46:44,472 --> 00:46:49,322
Oh! Now, over there is Jimmy Joe,
who runs the Rooster and Pony.
632
00:46:50,577 --> 00:46:53,697
He is the nicest coloured man
you'd ever want to meet.
633
00:46:55,666 --> 00:46:57,907
Robert Mitchum?
634
00:46:59,628 --> 00:47:03,137
Yoo-hoo!
Excuse me, you forgot something!
635
00:47:03,241 --> 00:47:05,763
Hello! Excuse me!
636
00:47:05,867 --> 00:47:08,142
You forgot your picture!
637
00:47:08,246 --> 00:47:12,145
I picked it up because
I didn't want it to get dragged...
638
00:47:12,249 --> 00:47:15,842
Oh, no, girlfriend...
Did you just do a U-ie?
639
00:47:16,979 --> 00:47:22,535
Oh, girl. I'm coming.
I'm a-coming! I'm gonna get you.
640
00:47:22,639 --> 00:47:24,409
I'm just trying to give you back...
641
00:47:24,513 --> 00:47:26,368
Ooh! Ow!
642
00:47:26,472 --> 00:47:28,495
I don't find this funny any more.
643
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:31,710
Sheriff Dollard,
we've read your filed report
644
00:47:31,814 --> 00:47:34,627
regarding the assault
in your jurisdiction
645
00:47:34,732 --> 00:47:38,840
and we should ask a few questions
before we pursue this case.
646
00:47:38,944 --> 00:47:42,137
First off,
with regards to the assailant,
647
00:47:42,241 --> 00:47:47,640
are we correct in summarising, if
we can clarify matters by saying that...
648
00:47:47,745 --> 00:47:50,125
you got beat up by a girl?
649
00:47:55,559 --> 00:47:57,691
They were not girls.
650
00:47:57,795 --> 00:48:02,312
They were boys, three of them,
and one of them was black.
651
00:48:03,483 --> 00:48:07,747
- May we see Exhibit A?
- Found at the scene of the crime.
652
00:48:07,851 --> 00:48:09,249
All right!
653
00:48:09,353 --> 00:48:12,822
They were dressed up like girls
but they were boys.
654
00:48:13,910 --> 00:48:17,668
You sons of bitches.
Don't laugh at me!
655
00:48:17,773 --> 00:48:22,050
I was attacked by perverts!
If you won't do something, I will!
656
00:48:22,154 --> 00:48:26,557
- Mrs Dollard...
- Give me the shoe.
657
00:48:26,662 --> 00:48:29,973
- Mrs Dollard.
- Shut up. Just shut up!
658
00:48:30,078 --> 00:48:32,728
I'm gonna bring back three corpses.
659
00:48:32,833 --> 00:48:35,231
And when you look up their dresses
660
00:48:35,335 --> 00:48:38,649
if you don't find something
you shouldn't find,
661
00:48:38,753 --> 00:48:41,396
I don't know what.
662
00:49:05,545 --> 00:49:07,594
I was a Fresh-Air Fund kid.
663
00:49:07,699 --> 00:49:12,216
They used to take us troubled kids
into the country for picnics...
664
00:49:16,807 --> 00:49:19,761
I didn't know
it was gonna be a party.
665
00:49:22,646 --> 00:49:26,726
I would have dressed for it.
Liquorice, anyone?
666
00:49:33,323 --> 00:49:37,958
I guess it's a poker party, you got
all your players, you don't need me.
667
00:49:38,062 --> 00:49:40,362
Looksies, no feelsies.
668
00:49:45,502 --> 00:49:48,871
Anybody read any good books lately?
669
00:49:55,929 --> 00:49:59,013
Come on!
670
00:50:03,604 --> 00:50:06,273
That's how you pick up a lady.
671
00:50:12,321 --> 00:50:14,914
Carol Ann, darling,
we need more towels.
672
00:50:15,018 --> 00:50:19,459
We've gone through the first 14
but, you know, girl stuff.
673
00:50:19,563 --> 00:50:23,671
- Are you crying?
- No. Just chopping onions.
674
00:50:23,776 --> 00:50:27,762
TVW - the very worst.
Quick household hint, if I may.
675
00:50:27,866 --> 00:50:30,678
Put these on
and it will shield your eyes...
676
00:50:30,783 --> 00:50:34,392
- No, don't.
- Oh, darling, what happened?
677
00:50:34,496 --> 00:50:35,685
Nothing.
678
00:50:35,789 --> 00:50:39,519
You are going to have a shiner,
put a steak on that.
679
00:50:39,623 --> 00:50:42,734
These boxes
dropped on me from that closet.
680
00:50:42,839 --> 00:50:45,810
Anyway,
I got to get this dinner ready.
681
00:50:49,107 --> 00:50:51,701
- Oh, oh! May I?
- What's that?
682
00:50:51,805 --> 00:50:54,370
Just a little spice.
683
00:50:54,474 --> 00:50:57,897
- A little paprika...
- No, don't! No, don't!
684
00:50:58,992 --> 00:51:01,835
- We don't use spices here.
- I am sorry.
685
00:51:01,939 --> 00:51:05,170
- Virgil does not like it.
- I'm just pushy.
686
00:51:05,275 --> 00:51:08,831
Virgil does like his way,
doesn't he?
687
00:51:10,587 --> 00:51:13,346
You're very observant.
688
00:51:13,450 --> 00:51:16,560
As a matter of fact...
689
00:51:16,664 --> 00:51:20,144
I can't help but observe right now
690
00:51:20,248 --> 00:51:24,006
that there are
no chopped onions anywhere.
691
00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:30,849
I think that maybe you'd better
just let me finish this alone.
692
00:51:31,942 --> 00:51:34,397
Surely.
693
00:51:38,657 --> 00:51:42,626
And the box in the closet?
Good one, darling.
694
00:51:42,731 --> 00:51:46,883
I used to tell people that when
my father called me cruel names,
695
00:51:46,987 --> 00:51:50,077
it was just because
of his sense of humour.
696
00:51:52,421 --> 00:51:54,470
If you need more towels,
697
00:51:54,574 --> 00:51:58,711
you'll find them in the closet
down at the end of the hallway.
698
00:52:11,898 --> 00:52:13,864
Hello.
699
00:52:13,968 --> 00:52:15,991
I brought your picture back.
700
00:52:16,095 --> 00:52:18,285
You dropped it earlier and...
701
00:52:18,389 --> 00:52:20,854
Thank you. You're welcome.
702
00:52:25,329 --> 00:52:28,828
Wow. Miss Thing got
some stuff in here.
703
00:52:31,043 --> 00:52:33,249
Mind if I sit?
704
00:52:35,005 --> 00:52:37,892
Whoo!
705
00:52:37,996 --> 00:52:42,011
That little run you took me on
really took a lot out of me.
706
00:52:43,096 --> 00:52:46,382
Not that I'm not in shape
or anything, but...
707
00:52:54,858 --> 00:52:57,829
Those boys didn't hurt you,
did they, Miss Chi Chi?
708
00:52:57,933 --> 00:53:00,246
Just a little bit, Bobby.
709
00:53:00,350 --> 00:53:03,157
Nothing time won't heal. Thank you.
710
00:53:04,159 --> 00:53:08,211
Look at your eyes. They as blue
as window cleaner, Bobby Lee.
711
00:53:08,315 --> 00:53:11,175
That's Bobby Ray.
Bobby Lee's a girl.
712
00:53:11,280 --> 00:53:14,092
I'm sorry. Is that your girlfriend?
713
00:53:14,196 --> 00:53:18,349
No, I don't got one of those.
A girlfriend, I mean. I got a name -
714
00:53:18,454 --> 00:53:20,712
Bobby Ray but you know that.
715
00:53:25,347 --> 00:53:29,843
Sorry. They have a mind of their own,
you know. My goodness.
716
00:53:30,936 --> 00:53:34,610
My God, that was so brave
what you did back over there.
717
00:53:34,715 --> 00:53:35,906
Aw...
718
00:53:36,011 --> 00:53:39,907
You were just like a regular
knight in shining pick-up truck.
719
00:53:40,012 --> 00:53:43,706
- Stop it.
- What time are you due...
720
00:53:43,810 --> 00:53:46,273
Bobby! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
721
00:53:53,041 --> 00:53:55,330
That's so romantical.
722
00:53:57,421 --> 00:54:00,955
God. I don't have the words.
723
00:54:03,510 --> 00:54:07,607
Don't cry, Miss Chi Chi.
Please don't cry.
724
00:54:07,711 --> 00:54:13,321
Miss Chi Chi, if you were my girl,
you'd never cry for anything,
725
00:54:13,425 --> 00:54:16,064
except maybe from happiness.
726
00:54:22,029 --> 00:54:24,317
You said a mouthful.
727
00:54:34,374 --> 00:54:36,581
- Let's go.
- All right.
728
00:54:50,557 --> 00:54:54,389
Don't think that I can't see you,
Miss Bobby Lee. Come, come.
729
00:54:56,104 --> 00:54:59,991
So, you are Virgil and Carol Ann's
eldest, am I right?
730
00:55:00,095 --> 00:55:02,660
Yeah. How did you know?
731
00:55:02,764 --> 00:55:05,456
I'm the eldest in my family, too.
732
00:55:05,561 --> 00:55:07,163
Wow.
733
00:55:07,268 --> 00:55:09,613
I picked these for your mom.
734
00:55:10,827 --> 00:55:14,420
They only grow in darkness and dank
735
00:55:14,524 --> 00:55:16,823
but sweetness, how they blossom.
736
00:55:17,709 --> 00:55:20,710
- You know a lot.
- Oh, please.
737
00:55:22,172 --> 00:55:25,392
I guess it's on account
of what you really are.
738
00:55:25,496 --> 00:55:28,551
Bobby Ray told me
what you really are.
739
00:55:29,638 --> 00:55:31,897
- He did?
- Yeah.
740
00:55:32,002 --> 00:55:34,612
You're a career girl.
741
00:55:34,716 --> 00:55:37,904
Oh! Yes. Yes.
742
00:55:38,009 --> 00:55:40,195
I could never be like that.
743
00:55:40,300 --> 00:55:43,450
Oh, no. You can be anything you want.
744
00:55:43,554 --> 00:55:46,536
You just imagine
good things happening
745
00:55:46,640 --> 00:55:49,622
- and you make them happen.
- Oh.
746
00:55:49,727 --> 00:55:55,378
Well, what if what I want to imagine
is a boy I want to go out with?
747
00:55:55,482 --> 00:55:59,091
You might want to set your sights
a tiny bit higher.
748
00:55:59,196 --> 00:56:03,598
Just to start off. Then I'll work
on the career-girl stuff.
749
00:56:03,702 --> 00:56:06,930
Miss Vida thinks
that I don't have a dream.
750
00:56:07,035 --> 00:56:10,811
I'm not Martin Luther King.
I don't need a dream. I have a plan.
751
00:56:10,916 --> 00:56:15,983
I'm gonna tell you what it is
because I knew I could trust you,
752
00:56:16,087 --> 00:56:18,818
being as you're not a big talker
and everything.
753
00:56:18,923 --> 00:56:21,821
My plan is that, while in Hollywood,
754
00:56:21,926 --> 00:56:26,411
I will be approached by an eminent
producer - at the Ivy, no doubt -
755
00:56:26,516 --> 00:56:29,412
to star in the lush film version
756
00:56:29,516 --> 00:56:33,357
of the life
of Miss Dorothy Dandridge.
757
00:56:34,661 --> 00:56:39,296
Oh, yes. That noble blacktress
who never played domestic help
758
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:43,426
and whose career was crushed
by the white Hollywood machine.
759
00:56:43,531 --> 00:56:45,803
Homegirl ended up dying penniless.
760
00:56:45,907 --> 00:56:49,139
I can remember
almost everything she's ever done,
761
00:56:49,244 --> 00:56:53,314
from Serenade Sun Valley
to Bahama Passage.
762
00:56:53,419 --> 00:56:54,983
Gorgeous performance.
763
00:56:55,087 --> 00:56:59,153
After that was Hit Parade Of '43,
Drums Of The Congo.
764
00:56:59,258 --> 00:57:02,820
No, no, no - Drums Of The Congo,
then Hit Parade Of '43.
765
00:57:02,924 --> 00:57:04,825
Then between that and Carmen Jones
766
00:57:04,929 --> 00:57:07,448
she did something... Road.
Road... road.
767
00:57:07,552 --> 00:57:09,410
- Bright Road.
- Thank you.
768
00:57:09,514 --> 00:57:11,998
Carmen Jones
and then Island In The Sun
769
00:57:12,102 --> 00:57:15,666
and her co-star in Carmen Jones
was Miss Pearl Bailey,
770
00:57:15,770 --> 00:57:19,824
whose birthday I think should be
a national holiday.
771
00:57:22,918 --> 00:57:25,409
Did you say something?
772
00:57:27,923 --> 00:57:30,932
Carmen Jones,
then Island In The Sun,
773
00:57:31,036 --> 00:57:35,856
then Decks Ran Red,
then, oh, yes, Porgy And Bess.
774
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:40,150
Oh, spectacular.
Then there was... er... er...
775
00:57:40,254 --> 00:57:43,512
- Tamango.
- Tamango...
776
00:57:45,524 --> 00:57:47,184
Malaga.
777
00:57:48,193 --> 00:57:50,536
Malaga.
778
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:52,955
Honey, when did you
start talking?
779
00:57:53,059 --> 00:57:56,540
Wanna try Lena Horne?
780
00:57:56,644 --> 00:57:58,379
Go, girl.
781
00:57:58,484 --> 00:58:01,341
Feature debut, 1942.
782
00:58:01,445 --> 00:58:03,538
Panama Hattie!
783
00:58:05,294 --> 00:58:08,552
That's wonderful.
That is just wonderful.
784
00:58:08,656 --> 00:58:11,684
You're not gonna start
walking across water
785
00:58:11,789 --> 00:58:14,296
and making the blind see, are you?
786
00:58:24,146 --> 00:58:27,116
You put spices in here.
787
00:58:27,221 --> 00:58:29,479
Some fell in. I scooped them out.
788
00:58:32,571 --> 00:58:37,500
You do this to make me mad.
Why do you want to make me mad?
789
00:58:37,604 --> 00:58:40,380
- I scooped them out.
- Why are you arguing with me?
790
00:58:40,484 --> 00:58:43,455
- I'm not.
- You want me to hit you?
791
00:58:51,757 --> 00:58:53,833
Take them out.
792
00:59:07,940 --> 00:59:09,406
- Jimmy Jay?
- Joe.
793
00:59:09,510 --> 00:59:11,199
- Joe Jay.
- Jimmy Joe.
794
00:59:11,303 --> 00:59:13,825
Can we have one ladies' cocktail...
795
00:59:13,929 --> 00:59:15,620
- Miss Clara!
- I know her.
796
00:59:15,724 --> 00:59:19,167
- Hey, girl.
- Hi, sweetie. Sit here.
797
00:59:19,272 --> 00:59:22,001
- Hi. I'm Noxeema.
- How do you do?
798
00:59:22,106 --> 00:59:24,921
- Noxeema Jackson.
- Noxeema?
799
00:59:25,025 --> 00:59:27,969
Uh-huh. Jesse's daughter.
800
00:59:28,073 --> 00:59:30,802
So, Beatrice,
what are we working on?
801
00:59:30,906 --> 00:59:34,055
We are working on decorations
for the Strawberry Social.
802
00:59:34,159 --> 00:59:36,975
- Strawberry Social?
- The biggest thing in these parts.
803
00:59:37,079 --> 00:59:40,606
We're doing it tomorrow.
We all make strawberry pies,
804
00:59:40,710 --> 00:59:45,010
we take them into the centre of town,
then we eat the strawberry pies.
805
00:59:46,144 --> 00:59:48,470
Then we go home.
806
00:59:50,023 --> 00:59:53,199
Oh, lovely! Une fête champêtre.
807
00:59:53,304 --> 00:59:55,325
- May I?
- Oh, please.
808
00:59:55,430 --> 00:59:58,291
Is there music and dancing and?
809
00:59:58,395 --> 01:00:03,250
We used to have a hollering contest
but some people didn't like it.
810
01:00:03,354 --> 01:00:07,086
We give out ribbons
for the best strawberry pie.
811
01:00:07,190 --> 01:00:09,508
- This party craves a theme.
- Theme?
812
01:00:09,613 --> 01:00:12,918
What do strawberries say
to anyone here?
813
01:00:13,714 --> 01:00:16,473
Well, erm...
814
01:00:16,577 --> 01:00:19,559
Strawberries are red.
815
01:00:19,663 --> 01:00:22,395
Good. That's a start.
816
01:00:22,499 --> 01:00:26,055
- Wild strawberries.
- Yes, wonderful!
817
01:00:26,935 --> 01:00:30,111
- Red and wild. That's your theme.
- What?
818
01:00:30,216 --> 01:00:36,116
Red and wild is our theme.
You know what we should have today?
819
01:00:36,220 --> 01:00:39,830
- A day with the girls.
- A day with the girls.
820
01:00:39,935 --> 01:00:44,792
Somebody has to drive me
to Greenville. Come on.
821
01:00:44,896 --> 01:00:50,260
A day with the girls,
like in New York high society!
822
01:00:50,364 --> 01:00:52,382
Merna, what's a day
with the girls?
823
01:00:52,487 --> 01:00:56,053
Katina,
first you do volunteer work
824
01:00:56,157 --> 01:00:58,557
and then you get your hair done,
825
01:00:58,662 --> 01:01:00,560
then you pick out a new outfit
826
01:01:00,665 --> 01:01:03,274
and then you go sit
in a café and talk.
827
01:01:03,378 --> 01:01:06,401
I've never heard
that expression before.
828
01:01:06,505 --> 01:01:09,317
I'm Merna. I run the beauty parlour.
829
01:01:09,421 --> 01:01:11,850
Beauty parlour?
830
01:01:15,984 --> 01:01:18,060
Here, here it is!
831
01:01:19,905 --> 01:01:21,364
Oh!
832
01:02:30,225 --> 01:02:33,112
Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
833
01:02:33,217 --> 01:02:35,486
Man! Look at that!
834
01:02:35,590 --> 01:02:39,450
It's like living
in a Tex Avery cartoon.
835
01:02:39,554 --> 01:02:41,952
I think we should
just ignore them.
836
01:02:42,057 --> 01:02:45,248
Oh, no, no, no.
Noxee, please, no.
837
01:02:45,353 --> 01:02:47,565
What's all this noise?
838
01:02:48,660 --> 01:02:52,463
Oh, baby.
You are a whole lot of woman.
839
01:02:52,567 --> 01:02:54,588
I know what you need.
840
01:02:54,692 --> 01:02:57,553
I hardly think you're the man
to give it to me.
841
01:02:57,658 --> 01:03:01,162
- Oh, no?
- Tough talk.
842
01:03:05,177 --> 01:03:07,725
Thank you.
843
01:03:07,829 --> 01:03:11,054
I think you should apologise to me.
844
01:03:12,935 --> 01:03:16,488
And I also think you should
apologise to those ladies.
845
01:03:16,592 --> 01:03:20,117
I ain't apologising to no ladies.
No way.
846
01:03:20,221 --> 01:03:21,786
No way.
847
01:03:21,890 --> 01:03:26,072
Just as I expected.
Well... do you like my nails?
848
01:03:31,078 --> 01:03:32,951
Walk.
849
01:03:34,247 --> 01:03:37,414
What can I say?
She's had a difficult life.
850
01:03:38,418 --> 01:03:42,054
What did you say your name was?
Your name?
851
01:03:42,159 --> 01:03:44,346
- Tommy.
- Tommy, Tommy.
852
01:03:44,450 --> 01:03:48,227
Well, Tommy, this is Miss Vida
and Miss Clara
853
01:03:48,331 --> 01:03:51,357
and this is Miss Katina
and Miss Merna,
854
01:03:51,462 --> 01:03:55,445
Miss Loretta and of course
Miss Little Bobby Lee.
855
01:03:55,549 --> 01:03:59,027
Now, Tommy, when you encounter
such gorgeous ladies,
856
01:03:59,132 --> 01:04:02,531
the correct way to greet them
is to say,
857
01:04:02,635 --> 01:04:06,689
"Good afternoon, ladies."
Can you say that, Tommy?
858
01:04:08,448 --> 01:04:10,126
Good afternoon, ladies.
859
01:04:10,230 --> 01:04:13,709
Unless it's the evening
and then you say what?
860
01:04:13,813 --> 01:04:15,881
Good evening, ladies.
861
01:04:15,985 --> 01:04:18,927
Go home, take a bath, comb your hair
862
01:04:19,031 --> 01:04:22,426
and please put on a clean shirt
when you step outside.
863
01:04:22,530 --> 01:04:25,920
It's an affront
to the very delicacy of my nature.
864
01:04:29,636 --> 01:04:31,712
Miss Clara.
865
01:04:37,686 --> 01:04:41,278
You just got to know
how to talk to people.
866
01:04:41,382 --> 01:04:44,576
And a four and a five
867
01:04:44,680 --> 01:04:46,700
and a six
868
01:04:46,804 --> 01:04:50,204
and a seven and a eight.
869
01:04:50,308 --> 01:04:52,209
Children, and one.
870
01:04:52,313 --> 01:04:54,333
Plié on two.
871
01:04:54,437 --> 01:04:57,412
And three, opening four.
872
01:04:58,665 --> 01:05:01,156
Come, come, come.
873
01:05:02,669 --> 01:05:04,958
Hello, you handsome thing.
874
01:05:06,298 --> 01:05:10,684
- All right. No colours.
- No. No. No. No.
875
01:05:10,788 --> 01:05:14,889
We just have-have
w-what's on the f-floor.
876
01:05:16,308 --> 01:05:21,986
- We're not gonna have much luck.
- It is looking somewhat serious.
877
01:05:22,091 --> 01:05:24,657
What?
878
01:05:24,761 --> 01:05:28,369
- Oh, my God!
- What? Speak to me.
879
01:05:28,473 --> 01:05:30,983
Oh! Oh...
880
01:05:32,616 --> 01:05:36,234
Oh! Oh! I can't believe it! Oh!
881
01:05:37,496 --> 01:05:40,829
Look! They're from the Sixties!
882
01:05:41,541 --> 01:05:46,554
There's a whole bunch of it,
there's something for everybody.
883
01:05:46,658 --> 01:05:50,471
T-That's just s-stuff my grandma bought
w-when she opened.
884
01:05:50,575 --> 01:05:55,397
It never s-s-s-sold
and she never s-s-s-sent it b-b-back
885
01:05:55,501 --> 01:05:58,942
and we were gonna g-give it
to Good-Good-Good...
886
01:05:59,046 --> 01:06:00,650
Good-Good-Good...
887
01:06:00,754 --> 01:06:04,447
- Can you believe? I can't believe!
- Good-Good-Good...
888
01:06:04,551 --> 01:06:07,865
Look at this. Look, look.
889
01:06:07,969 --> 01:06:10,830
Oh, Miss Clara,
you're gonna look like Emma Peel.
890
01:06:10,934 --> 01:06:13,369
Ooh! Sorry.
891
01:06:13,473 --> 01:06:15,821
Goodwill.
892
01:06:17,744 --> 01:06:22,175
- Yes. For me.
- No, no, no. No, this is mine.
893
01:06:22,279 --> 01:06:26,301
Oh, there's this fringe, honey.
I think I'm gonna black out.
894
01:06:26,405 --> 01:06:29,387
~ Another timeAnother place ~
895
01:06:29,491 --> 01:06:32,935
~ A little Maybellineto spread on my face, well ~
896
01:06:33,039 --> 01:06:36,934
~ Lace underwearA tube of Nair ~
897
01:06:37,039 --> 01:06:40,233
~ Make up my eyesand I tease out my hair, yeah... ~
898
01:06:40,338 --> 01:06:42,902
~ Polish my pumps... ~
- Good afternoon.
899
01:06:43,006 --> 01:06:44,572
~ And I pull on some hose ~
900
01:06:44,676 --> 01:06:47,988
~ Break out my clothes,yeah, I need to unload ~
901
01:06:48,092 --> 01:06:51,824
~ It makes me feel so mighty real ~
902
01:06:51,928 --> 01:06:55,873
~ Run in my stockingshey, it ain't no big deal ~
903
01:06:55,977 --> 01:07:00,545
~ Turn it outYou've got to turn it out... ~
904
01:07:00,650 --> 01:07:03,546
This book has been
sort of a Bible for me
905
01:07:03,651 --> 01:07:05,700
and, well... here.
906
01:07:07,794 --> 01:07:09,472
"DV."
907
01:07:09,576 --> 01:07:15,353
"The Au-au-autobiography
Of Diana "V-Vreeland."
908
01:07:15,457 --> 01:07:18,511
And l-l-l-I should read this?
909
01:07:19,556 --> 01:07:23,110
Oh, hon, you should commit
sections to memory.
910
01:07:23,214 --> 01:07:26,277
Check yourself, Loretta,
before you wreck yourself.
911
01:07:26,382 --> 01:07:29,491
~ Shine up the runwaywhile I powder my nose ~
912
01:07:29,595 --> 01:07:32,453
~ Turn on the spotlightGonna strike up a pose ~
913
01:07:32,558 --> 01:07:36,663
~ Well, for savoir faire, more derrière... ~
914
01:07:36,767 --> 01:07:39,278
Oh!
915
01:07:40,744 --> 01:07:43,837
~ Turn it outYou've got to turn it out ~
916
01:07:43,941 --> 01:07:48,540
~ Looking like a luminary,extraordinary, sing it... ~
917
01:07:52,422 --> 01:07:56,372
Acting real proud of yourself
like a New York City girl, huh?
918
01:08:01,431 --> 01:08:05,023
- God! It's still too spicy.
- I scooped them out...
919
01:08:05,128 --> 01:08:08,860
Don't argue with me because
if you argue, you're gonna lose.
920
01:08:08,964 --> 01:08:11,311
- It's too goddamn hot!
- No!
921
01:08:13,986 --> 01:08:17,411
Eartha...
Miss Kitt to you.
922
01:08:17,515 --> 01:08:21,541
Dinah Washington
sitting on this shelf getting dusty!
923
01:08:21,645 --> 01:08:25,948
Honey, we should play these.
The air should be filled with music.
924
01:08:33,547 --> 01:08:35,180
~ Je cherche un homme... ~
925
01:08:35,284 --> 01:08:37,434
- Here, put this on.
- Oh, no.
926
01:08:37,538 --> 01:08:40,435
- Why?
- No, I can't do that. It's too big.
927
01:08:40,539 --> 01:08:43,189
It can never be too big.
Here, put this on.
928
01:08:43,293 --> 01:08:45,314
Come on. Dance with me.
929
01:08:45,418 --> 01:08:49,405
~ Peu m'importe comment il se nomme ~
930
01:08:49,510 --> 01:08:53,892
~ S'il est un homme, un homme,un homme... ~
931
01:08:55,986 --> 01:08:59,411
"That season,
we were loaded with pizzazz,"
932
01:08:59,515 --> 01:09:01,862
"earrings of fuchsia and peach."
933
01:09:02,909 --> 01:09:06,463
"Mind you, peach."
934
01:09:06,567 --> 01:09:09,381
"And hats. Hats, hats, hats."
935
01:09:09,485 --> 01:09:12,328
"Hats for career girls."
936
01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:15,931
"How I adored Paris."
937
01:09:16,035 --> 01:09:19,348
Jimmy Joe, this is not
just a restaurant any more.
938
01:09:19,452 --> 01:09:21,882
You have turned it
into a lovely café.
939
01:09:22,929 --> 01:09:24,812
A café?
940
01:09:24,916 --> 01:09:28,987
Now slap a dollar surcharge
on every bill out here. Paid for.
941
01:09:29,091 --> 01:09:31,986
Thank you, my little Miss Vida.
942
01:09:32,091 --> 01:09:35,240
I've got a secret romance.
Couldn't you just lose it?
943
01:09:35,344 --> 01:09:39,497
- To say the least.
- I got a secret romance, too.
944
01:09:39,601 --> 01:09:41,498
Oh, shut up. For real?
945
01:09:41,602 --> 01:09:44,876
And this secret romance
is very handsome, I hear.
946
01:09:44,981 --> 01:09:46,085
Miss Vida!
947
01:09:46,189 --> 01:09:50,213
Mine, too. What a coinky-dinky.
And he's so sweet.
948
01:09:50,317 --> 01:09:53,715
Mine, too.
And, oh, he's so strong.
949
01:09:53,820 --> 01:09:57,513
Let me tell you,
my papi is built like a brick...
950
01:09:57,617 --> 01:10:00,809
- Let's go.
- Ow! What's the matter with you?
951
01:10:00,913 --> 01:10:05,961
Bobby Lee, listen. The way
to make things happen is imagine.
952
01:10:08,767 --> 01:10:10,641
Imagine.
953
01:10:17,276 --> 01:10:22,704
~ He doesn't have to behandsome as a picture ~
954
01:10:22,808 --> 01:10:27,277
~ An ordinary guy'sall right with me... ~
955
01:10:34,626 --> 01:10:37,552
Oh, Carol Ann, what on earth?
956
01:10:37,656 --> 01:10:40,085
I'm just so clumsy. I mean...
957
01:10:41,174 --> 01:10:43,978
Virgil yelled at me.
I mean, he called out to me.
958
01:10:44,083 --> 01:10:47,504
And, well, I just spilled the stew.
959
01:10:47,973 --> 01:10:52,350
Hon, do you, like,
ever not cry in this room?
960
01:11:03,905 --> 01:11:07,125
Oooh! Guess what I see.
961
01:11:07,230 --> 01:11:10,043
- I spy with my little eye.
- What is this?
962
01:11:10,147 --> 01:11:12,611
Somebody's coming courting.
963
01:11:13,665 --> 01:11:16,674
Miss Vida, I just kept thinking
it was happening.
964
01:11:16,779 --> 01:11:18,717
I imagined just like you said.
965
01:11:18,821 --> 01:11:21,721
Is that who you have
your little brown roots set on?
966
01:11:21,825 --> 01:11:23,976
- Yeah.
- Shush.
967
01:11:24,080 --> 01:11:26,127
No, mamita, please!
968
01:11:29,222 --> 01:11:32,971
- Evening, ladies.
- Good evening, Bobby Ray.
969
01:11:33,810 --> 01:11:36,698
I come to ask somebody out
to the sociable.
970
01:11:36,802 --> 01:11:39,742
- Well, I declare.
- I declare.
971
01:11:39,847 --> 01:11:42,568
- I declare.
- I decline.
972
01:11:43,779 --> 01:11:48,156
Well, er, it's tomorrow afternoon,
so I best be asking.
973
01:11:51,745 --> 01:11:55,670
- Bobby Lee?
- Yes, Bobby Ray?
974
01:11:55,774 --> 01:11:59,423
Could you do me a favour
and take the little ones inside?
975
01:11:59,528 --> 01:12:02,836
I need to talk to
Miss Chi Chi Rodriguez in private.
976
01:12:07,260 --> 01:12:10,353
Bobby Lee, mamita,
don't be so sensitive.
977
01:12:10,457 --> 01:12:13,567
- Bobby Lee!
- She's so sensitive.
978
01:12:13,671 --> 01:12:17,307
Bobby Lee.
I didn't know it'd happen.
979
01:12:18,438 --> 01:12:22,452
- Er, Miss Chi Chi...
- Won't you come back in an hour?
980
01:12:22,556 --> 01:12:27,188
- Er...
- Shh. Just say yes. OK. I'll see you.
981
01:12:33,578 --> 01:12:37,171
It's absolutely
out of the question.
982
01:12:37,275 --> 01:12:40,175
You're not my mamas
and you can't stop me.
983
01:12:40,279 --> 01:12:44,349
Darling, you most certainly will not
be going out with Mr Bobby Ray.
984
01:12:44,453 --> 01:12:46,638
Why not? We got a lot in common.
985
01:12:46,743 --> 01:12:49,937
For starters, the same business
in between your legs.
986
01:12:50,041 --> 01:12:51,855
Poinky-poinky-poink-poink!
987
01:12:51,959 --> 01:12:54,440
If he gets a whiff
of your wiles, darling...
988
01:12:54,544 --> 01:12:57,775
It's the "why I'm always right
and you're wrong" song
989
01:12:57,879 --> 01:13:00,573
sung by
her lonely breasteses herself.
990
01:13:00,677 --> 01:13:03,656
What do you know about relationships?
991
01:13:03,761 --> 01:13:06,659
- I mean, who loves you, baby?
- Be quiet, Chi Chi.
992
01:13:06,764 --> 01:13:11,666
Nobody, that's who.
Not even your rich mommy and daddy.
993
01:13:11,770 --> 01:13:15,583
Oh, oh! I know what this is about.
This is about jealousy
994
01:13:15,687 --> 01:13:20,048
because I'm going out with a cute boy
and you ain't. Hello, goodbye.
995
01:13:20,152 --> 01:13:24,427
You are deceiving that child. That boy
does not know which end is up
996
01:13:24,532 --> 01:13:28,097
and you know that Miss Bobby Lee
is in love with him.
997
01:13:28,201 --> 01:13:30,102
So what if she is?
998
01:13:30,206 --> 01:13:33,769
Maybe I want something?
What's wrong with that?
999
01:13:33,873 --> 01:13:36,024
Miss Girl
is dealing with some demons.
1000
01:13:36,129 --> 01:13:41,068
- I will not allow you to play games.
- Allow? Allow!
1001
01:13:41,172 --> 01:13:44,865
There are human rules
by which we operate, sweetheart.
1002
01:13:44,970 --> 01:13:47,829
I'm so sick of
this freakazoid white lady
1003
01:13:47,933 --> 01:13:53,415
telling a black lady and a Latin lady
which way is up, down and under.
1004
01:13:53,519 --> 01:13:57,839
You can laugh but I hope you pack
that Cadillac because I'm staying.
1005
01:13:57,943 --> 01:14:02,426
You're staying? Well, Miss Jennifer
Holliday, go ahead and stay.
1006
01:14:02,530 --> 01:14:04,095
Don't forget to write.
1007
01:14:04,199 --> 01:14:06,807
She truly does have
a piñata for a head.
1008
01:14:06,911 --> 01:14:08,724
Don't go there, Vida.
1009
01:14:08,828 --> 01:14:11,519
She's an oppressive gringa
with a pinga.
1010
01:14:11,623 --> 01:14:14,436
- All right, y'all.
- You are a puta Spanish fly.
1011
01:14:14,540 --> 01:14:18,149
- Don't go there.
- You are an uptight, cellulite,
1012
01:14:18,253 --> 01:14:20,025
fossil-face, cracker witch.
1013
01:14:20,129 --> 01:14:23,527
Listen to me, you little
sway-backed, Third World...
1014
01:14:23,631 --> 01:14:26,742
- She went there.
...selfish piece of street trash!
1015
01:14:26,846 --> 01:14:28,866
You're the selfish one,
1016
01:14:28,970 --> 01:14:32,618
bossing people's lives around
without them even asking you,
1017
01:14:32,723 --> 01:14:34,737
Mrs Ann Landers pain in my culo.
1018
01:14:35,325 --> 01:14:37,752
How dare you think that...
1019
01:14:37,856 --> 01:14:39,671
What is that noise?
1020
01:14:39,776 --> 01:14:44,759
You want to know? That's you
running into everybody's house...
1021
01:14:44,863 --> 01:14:46,800
Shut up, Chi Chi!
1022
01:14:46,905 --> 01:14:50,304
When I look at you,
it makes me want to throw up.
1023
01:14:50,408 --> 01:14:54,601
- Virgil's beating up Carol Ann.
- Most likely.
1024
01:14:54,705 --> 01:14:56,977
Well, we have to help her.
1025
01:14:57,081 --> 01:15:00,192
No, no. Vida,
there are times when you help people
1026
01:15:00,296 --> 01:15:03,321
and then there are times
when if you help people,
1027
01:15:03,425 --> 01:15:07,864
you ends up being killed,
so you don't help people.
1028
01:15:07,968 --> 01:15:10,284
She trusts me and I trust her.
1029
01:15:10,388 --> 01:15:13,869
There's a fine line
between trust and stupidity
1030
01:15:13,973 --> 01:15:18,211
and there's people you don't trust
cos they will stab you in the ribs.
1031
01:15:18,315 --> 01:15:21,461
I thought you had learned
a little bit more than this.
1032
01:15:21,565 --> 01:15:24,003
You need to mind your own business.
1033
01:15:24,107 --> 01:15:27,885
What is going on upstairs
has nothing to do with you.
1034
01:15:27,989 --> 01:15:30,388
You deal with what's going on
right here.
1035
01:15:30,492 --> 01:15:33,722
Mami, save it.
Everybody's business is her business.
1036
01:15:33,826 --> 01:15:37,104
You go ahead, girl.
You're gonna get screwed.
1037
01:15:37,208 --> 01:15:40,604
You're not a queen
because you sit on a throne,
1038
01:15:40,708 --> 01:15:43,902
you're a queen because
you couldn't cut it as a man
1039
01:15:44,006 --> 01:15:46,184
so you had to put on a dress.
1040
01:15:48,774 --> 01:15:51,033
- What did you say?
- You heard me.
1041
01:15:51,137 --> 01:15:53,185
I've had quite enough...
1042
01:16:03,872 --> 01:16:05,966
What the hell?
1043
01:16:06,070 --> 01:16:08,051
Vida, please. No. It's OK.
1044
01:16:08,156 --> 01:16:11,596
Carol Ann, I'm sorry
but I cannot take this any more.
1045
01:16:11,701 --> 01:16:15,180
Noxee, could you take care
of Miss Carol Ann?
1046
01:16:15,285 --> 01:16:18,378
Virgil and I
have something we must discuss.
1047
01:16:20,055 --> 01:16:22,693
So, I gather you like hitting ladies.
1048
01:16:22,797 --> 01:16:25,986
Some ladies need to get hit.
1049
01:16:26,090 --> 01:16:29,644
Then, conversely,
some men need to be hit back.
1050
01:16:35,153 --> 01:16:39,289
Oh, God.
Virgil's gonna hurt Vida so bad.
1051
01:16:39,393 --> 01:16:43,752
Carol Ann, there's something
you should know about Vida, mami.
1052
01:16:43,856 --> 01:16:45,462
Well...
1053
01:16:45,566 --> 01:16:49,047
Vida works out. Vida works out.
1054
01:16:49,152 --> 01:16:50,953
A lot.
1055
01:17:10,355 --> 01:17:12,431
All right, move ahead.
1056
01:17:19,698 --> 01:17:21,691
All right, go ahead.
1057
01:17:26,747 --> 01:17:28,620
Move on.
1058
01:17:32,002 --> 01:17:36,304
Oh, man, sometimes I think we should
just get rid of all the men.
1059
01:17:36,408 --> 01:17:39,890
Well, not all of us...
them are bad.
1060
01:17:39,994 --> 01:17:42,311
We just need to get rid of
all the men.
1061
01:17:42,415 --> 01:17:45,230
You're just post-traumatised.
1062
01:17:45,334 --> 01:17:50,319
Well, maybe Mr Rogers.
I mean, he just seems sensitive.
1063
01:17:50,423 --> 01:17:55,114
- Well, Mel Gibson. He has a cute can.
- Oh, please!
1064
01:17:55,218 --> 01:17:58,940
Yeah. He can stay but
he's not allowed to think or speak.
1065
01:18:08,956 --> 01:18:10,580
Psst!
1066
01:18:15,337 --> 01:18:16,997
Shh!
1067
01:18:25,097 --> 01:18:29,723
My goodness. You're always on time.
And twice as sweet as usual.
1068
01:18:31,186 --> 01:18:33,945
I guess you're never gonna
disappoint me.
1069
01:18:34,049 --> 01:18:38,991
How could I disappoint you? I'm your
knight in a shiny pick-up, remember?
1070
01:18:39,095 --> 01:18:44,997
Of course I remember. My knight
in shining whatever that was.
1071
01:18:45,101 --> 01:18:49,377
Oh, God, it's so beautiful
out tonight, isn't it?
1072
01:18:49,481 --> 01:18:51,049
Yeah.
1073
01:18:51,153 --> 01:18:54,299
My whole life
I've always wanted someone
1074
01:18:54,403 --> 01:18:57,180
who will understand
how I felt inside
1075
01:18:57,284 --> 01:19:00,557
and someone who
would hold me for always
1076
01:19:00,661 --> 01:19:03,835
and then you showed up
and you were it.
1077
01:19:04,928 --> 01:19:08,520
You make me feel like
the most perfect girl.
1078
01:19:08,625 --> 01:19:12,024
I don't have to do that.
You are the perfect girl.
1079
01:19:12,128 --> 01:19:15,156
- Sorry, no.
- I mean it. You're beautiful.
1080
01:19:15,260 --> 01:19:19,282
- Please.
- You've got class, glamour.
1081
01:19:19,386 --> 01:19:21,408
- Shut up.
- You're exotic.
1082
01:19:21,512 --> 01:19:23,829
Stop.
1083
01:19:23,934 --> 01:19:25,832
Oh, don't stop.
1084
01:19:25,937 --> 01:19:30,920
And there's something about
the way that you talk, you know.
1085
01:19:31,024 --> 01:19:34,050
Like no-nonsense. Like...
1086
01:19:34,154 --> 01:19:38,049
You'd never lie to me,
you'd never keep a secret from me.
1087
01:19:38,153 --> 01:19:40,251
I really respect that. I do.
1088
01:19:41,965 --> 01:19:44,181
What is it?
1089
01:19:44,285 --> 01:19:46,186
What did I say?
1090
01:19:46,290 --> 01:19:48,688
I was...
1091
01:19:48,792 --> 01:19:50,857
If you really love someone,
1092
01:19:50,962 --> 01:19:54,183
you could keep
one big secret from them.
1093
01:19:57,439 --> 01:19:59,821
- No.
- No?
1094
01:19:59,925 --> 01:20:04,785
I really feel that if you love somebody
with all of your heart,
1095
01:20:04,889 --> 01:20:09,043
then you could never
keep a secret from them.
1096
01:20:09,148 --> 01:20:13,042
You couldn't even sit on
one little teeny lie?
1097
01:20:13,146 --> 01:20:15,170
- No.
- No.
1098
01:20:15,275 --> 01:20:17,537
No matter how big or how small.
1099
01:20:22,506 --> 01:20:23,723
Oh...
1100
01:20:23,827 --> 01:20:29,227
We're saving Mel Gibson.
With a gag.
1101
01:20:29,331 --> 01:20:33,107
Right. Mr Rogers,
Keanu Reeves, Denzel Washington...
1102
01:20:33,211 --> 01:20:35,970
- And...
- And Bobby Ray.
1103
01:20:37,354 --> 01:20:40,224
Yeah, you mustn't forget
about Bobby Ray.
1104
01:20:42,651 --> 01:20:46,576
Bobby Lee, I've been thinking about
a lot of things lately
1105
01:20:46,680 --> 01:20:50,919
and I don't want Bobby Ray
because he's such a local, right?
1106
01:20:51,023 --> 01:20:53,041
So go ahead. You can have him.
1107
01:20:53,146 --> 01:20:57,089
Just take him. He's yours, baby.
Go ahead and take him.
1108
01:20:57,194 --> 01:21:00,591
- Good for you.
- Chi Chi.
1109
01:21:00,695 --> 01:21:04,139
- What?
- That was so very generous of you,
1110
01:21:04,243 --> 01:21:09,143
putting someone else's needs
before your own. It was special.
1111
01:21:09,247 --> 01:21:11,940
It was step three.
1112
01:21:12,044 --> 01:21:16,806
Absolutely step three.
Abide by the rules of love.
1113
01:21:18,312 --> 01:21:22,973
- Really utterly fabulous. Sit here.
- Here, honey.
1114
01:21:24,401 --> 01:21:26,643
Chi Chi...
1115
01:21:27,988 --> 01:21:31,624
I am so very sorry that I called you
1116
01:21:31,728 --> 01:21:35,752
a sway-backed, Third World
little whatever. I didn't mean it.
1117
01:21:35,856 --> 01:21:38,800
It's all right, baby. I deserved it.
1118
01:21:38,904 --> 01:21:40,590
And I'm sorry I called you
1119
01:21:40,694 --> 01:21:44,499
a dinosaur, cellulite,
white trash farty old white woman.
1120
01:21:48,884 --> 01:21:51,209
- Forgiven?
- Forgiven.
1121
01:21:52,596 --> 01:21:55,938
- You are lovely.
- You're too much.
1122
01:21:56,042 --> 01:21:59,319
Are you serious about Bobby Ray,
Miss Chi Chi?
1123
01:21:59,423 --> 01:22:02,698
Baby, you can have him.
I've got a million dream lovers.
1124
01:22:02,802 --> 01:22:05,154
I've got a broken heart
for every light on Broadway
1125
01:22:05,258 --> 01:22:09,646
and when one goes out, I just
screw in another one. Hello, goodbye.
1126
01:22:12,616 --> 01:22:14,655
I think I see him.
1127
01:22:15,410 --> 01:22:18,714
No... Moses.
1128
01:22:18,818 --> 01:22:23,340
I have lived in apartments that
weren't half as big as these pores.
1129
01:22:23,444 --> 01:22:27,765
Let's stay positive. Bobby Lee,
just ignore your old Auntie Noxee
1130
01:22:27,870 --> 01:22:30,099
and look at that videotape there.
1131
01:22:30,203 --> 01:22:33,645
I know. That is Miss Anne Baxter
in The Ten Commandments
1132
01:22:33,749 --> 01:22:36,314
and those are the moves.
1133
01:22:36,418 --> 01:22:40,148
All right, let's see.
She needs more lips.
1134
01:22:40,252 --> 01:22:42,947
- I can't.
- You can and you will, darling.
1135
01:22:43,051 --> 01:22:45,486
But I'm not Miss Anne Baxter.
1136
01:22:45,590 --> 01:22:47,531
No one is asking you to be.
1137
01:22:47,635 --> 01:22:52,205
Just take her strength, her mystery,
her moves and you find your own.
1138
01:22:52,310 --> 01:22:55,290
If you want them to know
that there is steak for dinner,
1139
01:22:55,394 --> 01:22:59,292
you've got to let them
hear it sizzle. Understand?
1140
01:22:59,396 --> 01:23:01,171
- Yeah.
- All right.
1141
01:23:01,275 --> 01:23:03,009
- Thanks.
- Best of luck.
1142
01:23:03,113 --> 01:23:04,926
Time to make the donuts.
1143
01:23:05,031 --> 01:23:07,217
Chi Chi, he won't like me.
1144
01:23:07,322 --> 01:23:10,637
Trust me.
He's gonna love you, all right?
1145
01:23:10,742 --> 01:23:13,558
Baby, you got the look, mami.
1146
01:23:13,662 --> 01:23:17,438
You certainly do. Do that eye thing
I taught you, right?
1147
01:23:17,542 --> 01:23:22,987
That's right. And be honest with him,
all right? He deserves that.
1148
01:23:23,092 --> 01:23:26,679
- Thanks.
- I got to go. I got cramps.
1149
01:23:29,192 --> 01:23:30,651
Momma!
1150
01:23:40,787 --> 01:23:42,669
Chi Chi?
1151
01:23:42,774 --> 01:23:45,618
Bobby Ray, come here.
1152
01:23:49,004 --> 01:23:51,053
Hello?
1153
01:23:51,157 --> 01:23:53,456
Oh! Hello.
1154
01:23:55,093 --> 01:23:57,309
Bobby Lee!
1155
01:23:57,413 --> 01:24:00,637
- Roberta.
- Oh, Roberta.
1156
01:24:02,225 --> 01:24:06,175
Wow. You really look pretty.
1157
01:24:07,314 --> 01:24:10,572
Sure is a pretty dress
you're wearing.
1158
01:24:10,677 --> 01:24:13,023
Oh, this old thing?
1159
01:24:15,238 --> 01:24:17,997
Well... Roberta...
1160
01:24:18,102 --> 01:24:20,363
would you?
1161
01:24:22,079 --> 01:24:26,259
Wow. You really look good
in that dress.
1162
01:24:26,363 --> 01:24:29,618
Oh, Bobby Ray, Bobby Ray, Bobby Ray.
1163
01:24:31,672 --> 01:24:34,044
Would you like to dance with me?
1164
01:24:47,896 --> 01:24:51,321
~ Hold me, hold me... ~
- Miss Beatrice,
1165
01:24:51,426 --> 01:24:55,324
- I've waited 23 years to ask you this.
~ Never let me go until you've told me ~
1166
01:24:55,429 --> 01:24:58,996
- May I have this dance?
- My gracious.
1167
01:24:59,100 --> 01:25:01,794
~ What I want to know ~
1168
01:25:01,899 --> 01:25:06,254
~ And then just hold me, hold me ~
1169
01:25:06,358 --> 01:25:11,871
~ Make me tell youI'm in love with you ~
1170
01:25:17,426 --> 01:25:20,812
~ Thrill me, thrill me ~
1171
01:25:20,917 --> 01:25:26,233
~ Walk me down the lanewhere shadows will be ~
1172
01:25:26,338 --> 01:25:33,243
~ Will be hiding loversjust the same as we'll be ~
1173
01:25:33,347 --> 01:25:44,242
~ We'll be when you make metell you I love you ~
1174
01:25:45,746 --> 01:25:52,679
~ They told mebe sensible with your new love ~
1175
01:25:52,783 --> 01:25:57,432
~ Don't be fooled thinkingthis is the last you'll find... ~
1176
01:25:57,537 --> 01:25:59,934
- You know, pumpkins?
- What?
1177
01:26:00,038 --> 01:26:02,679
Sometimes it just takes a fairy.
1178
01:26:09,102 --> 01:26:14,781
~ ... drive me slowly out of my mind ~
1179
01:26:14,885 --> 01:26:17,829
~ Kiss meKiss me ~
1180
01:26:17,933 --> 01:26:19,913
~ And when you do ~
1181
01:26:20,017 --> 01:26:23,624
~ I know that you will miss meMiss me... ~
1182
01:26:23,728 --> 01:26:27,034
Men, acting like women.
1183
01:26:28,622 --> 01:26:32,951
Men wanting to be with one another,
men touching each other.
1184
01:26:34,127 --> 01:26:38,706
Their stubbly chins
rubbing up against one another.
1185
01:26:42,260 --> 01:26:44,383
Touching each other.
1186
01:26:45,681 --> 01:26:47,804
Manly hands...
1187
01:26:50,102 --> 01:26:52,390
touching swirls of chest hair.
1188
01:26:54,940 --> 01:26:59,649
An occasional whiff
of a rugged aftershave.
1189
01:27:03,198 --> 01:27:06,207
Their low, baritone voices...
1190
01:27:06,312 --> 01:27:09,120
sighing, grunting.
1191
01:27:11,665 --> 01:27:17,011
They hold one another
in manly, masculine arms.
1192
01:27:17,115 --> 01:27:19,625
Hold one another.
1193
01:27:23,593 --> 01:27:25,800
Tight.
1194
01:27:46,908 --> 01:27:50,833
- How you doing?
- OK, I'm doing OK.
1195
01:27:50,938 --> 01:27:54,495
- What can I get you?
- Bourbon.
1196
01:28:04,176 --> 01:28:08,043
- This your shoe?
- No, that ain't my shoe.
1197
01:28:09,723 --> 01:28:13,306
I'm looking for the person
that wore that shoe.
1198
01:28:22,736 --> 01:28:26,235
- Now the ratchet.
- The ratchet...
1199
01:28:27,324 --> 01:28:33,002
You know, if I can get this to work,
you may get this baby on the road.
1200
01:28:33,107 --> 01:28:35,922
Really? That would be wonderful.
1201
01:28:36,026 --> 01:28:41,307
Of course, I'm sure you'll be wanting
to stick around
1202
01:28:41,411 --> 01:28:44,472
for the Strawberry Social
this afternoon.
1203
01:28:44,577 --> 01:28:47,040
- Now, Vida...
- Ca...
1204
01:28:48,679 --> 01:28:51,022
You know,
1205
01:28:51,126 --> 01:28:55,392
I wouldn't be lying
if I were to say...
1206
01:28:56,478 --> 01:28:59,781
that I was really gonna miss you.
1207
01:28:59,886 --> 01:29:05,313
I think it's really important
for a woman to have lady friends.
1208
01:29:07,155 --> 01:29:09,065
Oh, Carol Ann, I...
1209
01:29:11,618 --> 01:29:16,503
If we're going to be friends, there
really is something I should tell you.
1210
01:29:16,608 --> 01:29:19,885
- Adam's apple?
- What?
1211
01:29:19,989 --> 01:29:24,429
Adam's apple.
Women don't have Adam's apples.
1212
01:29:24,533 --> 01:29:27,560
Only men have Adam's apples.
1213
01:29:27,664 --> 01:29:29,683
The first night you came to town,
1214
01:29:29,787 --> 01:29:33,889
I noticed that you had yourself
an Adam's apple.
1215
01:29:35,517 --> 01:29:38,637
- Then you know?
- I know...
1216
01:29:40,105 --> 01:29:44,656
that I'm very fortunate
to have a lady friend
1217
01:29:44,761 --> 01:29:48,068
who just happens to have
an Adam's apple.
1218
01:29:49,823 --> 01:29:52,492
Let's just see what we got here.
1219
01:29:54,745 --> 01:29:57,799
Ooh!
1220
01:29:57,903 --> 01:29:59,865
You did it. Yes!
1221
01:30:01,501 --> 01:30:04,668
God, I ain't ever gonna be right.
1222
01:30:29,655 --> 01:30:31,612
Ta-da!
1223
01:30:32,407 --> 01:30:34,456
How do I look?
1224
01:30:34,561 --> 01:30:38,069
Like the Miami Sound Machine
just exploded all over you.
1225
01:30:39,164 --> 01:30:43,261
We have the town
surrounded. There's no escape.
1226
01:30:43,365 --> 01:30:46,012
I know there's drag queens
around here.
1227
01:30:46,116 --> 01:30:49,421
Just come out with your hands up,
no one will get hurt.
1228
01:30:51,718 --> 01:30:56,676
Oh, what fresh hell is this?
It's possibly-dead Sheriff Dollard.
1229
01:30:57,975 --> 01:31:00,651
He doesn't look dead.
1230
01:31:00,755 --> 01:31:05,140
I know them drag queens is here,
I'm not leaving without them!
1231
01:31:08,902 --> 01:31:12,039
None of you good people
need get involved.
1232
01:31:12,143 --> 01:31:15,001
All I want's them drag queens.
1233
01:31:15,105 --> 01:31:17,531
Don't protect these freaks!
1234
01:31:18,078 --> 01:31:20,210
I know they're hiding here,
1235
01:31:20,315 --> 01:31:23,797
these weirdos coming in here,
these boys in dresses.
1236
01:31:23,902 --> 01:31:26,034
What? Boys in dresses?
1237
01:31:27,129 --> 01:31:29,555
Corrupting you
with their way of life,
1238
01:31:29,659 --> 01:31:33,140
changing the way
things have always been!
1239
01:31:33,244 --> 01:31:36,254
I really don't think
that's what you want!
1240
01:31:43,020 --> 01:31:45,907
Whoever belongs to this shoe...
1241
01:31:46,011 --> 01:31:48,270
come forward now!
1242
01:32:24,353 --> 01:32:26,844
There's Miss Vida, come on.
1243
01:32:45,666 --> 01:32:48,370
I believe that shoe is mine.
1244
01:32:49,419 --> 01:32:52,140
- You ain't the one.
- She's not the one.
1245
01:32:52,244 --> 01:32:54,787
Back off, Virgil.
1246
01:32:56,802 --> 01:32:58,895
I am a drag queen.
1247
01:32:59,000 --> 01:33:01,758
I know there's drag queens
in this town!
1248
01:33:06,436 --> 01:33:09,556
And I ain't leaving
till they get out here!
1249
01:33:12,609 --> 01:33:17,040
- Can I have my shoe, please?
- You're a drag queen?
1250
01:33:17,144 --> 01:33:19,956
Nothing this pretty could be real.
1251
01:33:20,060 --> 01:33:22,210
You want to touch my boa?
1252
01:33:22,315 --> 01:33:26,382
That's my shoe. Ten and a half B,
girlfriend.
1253
01:33:26,487 --> 01:33:29,344
- I'm a boy in a dress.
- Give me a kiss, big boy.
1254
01:33:29,448 --> 01:33:32,094
- I'm the drag king.
- I'm a drag queen, too.
1255
01:33:32,199 --> 01:33:34,891
- Arrest us.
- I'm a drag queen over here.
1256
01:33:34,995 --> 01:33:38,141
So you can just
drag yourself on home.
1257
01:33:38,245 --> 01:33:42,143
What you so afraid of?
1258
01:33:42,247 --> 01:33:45,776
You're gonna really regret this.
You're gonna regret this.
1259
01:33:45,880 --> 01:33:51,770
You have no idea how dangerous
these people really are!
1260
01:33:52,649 --> 01:33:55,769
No idea! You're gonna regret it!
1261
01:33:56,862 --> 01:34:00,694
All of you are gonna regret it!
I promise you will!
1262
01:34:51,291 --> 01:34:53,035
Miss Vida?
1263
01:34:54,127 --> 01:34:56,001
Auntie Noxee?
1264
01:35:18,735 --> 01:35:22,161
- Are you hearing this?
- Yes.
1265
01:35:22,265 --> 01:35:27,085
I didn't even want to come here, now
these people are standing up for us?
1266
01:35:27,190 --> 01:35:30,114
You know, Vida...
1267
01:35:31,331 --> 01:35:33,924
you were absolutely right.
1268
01:35:34,029 --> 01:35:36,260
About what?
1269
01:35:36,364 --> 01:35:39,262
I mean, now I realise that...
1270
01:35:39,366 --> 01:35:42,265
you gotta take chances.
1271
01:35:42,369 --> 01:35:45,684
Because you never know,
you know what I mean?
1272
01:35:45,788 --> 01:35:49,232
I'm not gonna worry about
if people accept me or not.
1273
01:35:49,337 --> 01:35:53,804
I'm gonna make Hollywood
wherever I am at.
1274
01:35:57,524 --> 01:35:59,600
I would like...
1275
01:36:01,361 --> 01:36:03,935
Stand up, Vida.
1276
01:36:05,365 --> 01:36:07,830
I would like...
1277
01:36:07,935 --> 01:36:12,295
to go to Bala Cynwyd, Pennsylvania
1278
01:36:12,399 --> 01:36:16,297
and walk into that imitation
Tudor-style house...
1279
01:36:16,401 --> 01:36:18,719
Stand up, Vida. Stand up.
1280
01:36:18,824 --> 01:36:23,724
...and I will say,
"My name is Miss Vida Boheme."
1281
01:36:23,829 --> 01:36:27,309
- Go ahead, girl.
- "Your approval is not needed."
1282
01:36:27,413 --> 01:36:30,313
Approval neither desired
nor required.
1283
01:36:30,417 --> 01:36:33,890
"But I will take your acceptance."
1284
01:36:34,978 --> 01:36:40,241
Me, too. I'm gonna stand up
from now on, I'm going to.
1285
01:36:40,345 --> 01:36:42,955
And when I find
my honest and true love,
1286
01:36:43,059 --> 01:36:45,327
I'm never gonna let him go.
1287
01:36:45,431 --> 01:36:48,293
And I don't care
what my cousin Lisette says.
1288
01:36:48,397 --> 01:36:50,960
Everything I touch
doesn't turn into caca.
1289
01:36:51,064 --> 01:36:53,335
- What does she know?
- Right.
1290
01:36:53,439 --> 01:36:55,962
And I'm gonna try and find
a foundation
1291
01:36:56,066 --> 01:36:59,908
that's a little closer
to my actual skin tone.
1292
01:37:10,639 --> 01:37:13,723
Idiots! Look at them!
1293
01:37:14,810 --> 01:37:17,652
Look at them. Perverts.
1294
01:37:17,756 --> 01:37:22,364
When the founding fathers wrote
the Declaration of Independence
1295
01:37:22,468 --> 01:37:24,575
and the Constitution,
1296
01:37:24,679 --> 01:37:27,911
"Liberty and justice for all",
they didn't mean that.
1297
01:37:28,016 --> 01:37:31,792
I can tell you one thing about them
founding fathers of America.
1298
01:37:31,897 --> 01:37:36,198
- What's that?
- They sure had fabulous wigs.
1299
01:37:58,812 --> 01:38:01,647
~ Do what you wanna do ~
1300
01:38:08,155 --> 01:38:10,313
~ Do what you wanna do... ~
1301
01:38:12,409 --> 01:38:14,449
You'd better feel it.
1302
01:38:16,913 --> 01:38:19,665
~ Do what you wanna do ~
1303
01:38:26,590 --> 01:38:28,547
~ Do what you wanna do... ~
1304
01:38:31,053 --> 01:38:33,185
This is my Aunt Martha's dress.
1305
01:38:33,289 --> 01:38:36,772
I thought you could use it,
she was big in the shoulders.
1306
01:38:36,876 --> 01:38:40,764
- Thank you, girl.
- Oh, sweet pea.
1307
01:38:41,855 --> 01:38:45,825
Listen to your Auntie Vida.
I want you to believe in yourself,
1308
01:38:45,929 --> 01:38:50,203
imagine good things and moisturise,
I cannot stress this enough.
1309
01:38:50,307 --> 01:38:52,413
Miss Noxeema.
1310
01:38:52,517 --> 01:38:54,456
Miss Clara.
1311
01:38:54,561 --> 01:38:58,292
Now, listen,
when you get to Hollywood,
1312
01:38:58,397 --> 01:39:02,468
you give this letter
to Mr Robert Mitchum.
1313
01:39:02,573 --> 01:39:06,467
I will. I promise you.
I'll guard it with my life.
1314
01:39:06,571 --> 01:39:08,928
Thank you. I'm gonna miss you.
1315
01:39:09,032 --> 01:39:11,472
I'm gonna miss you, too.
1316
01:39:11,576 --> 01:39:14,221
- Goodbye.
- Bye.
1317
01:39:19,059 --> 01:39:23,072
I hope she leaves me those albums
in her will.
1318
01:39:23,177 --> 01:39:27,493
- All right. Can I hear it?
- Good afternoon.
1319
01:39:27,598 --> 01:39:31,492
Sounds wonderful. The shirt is fierce
and the hair is working.
1320
01:39:31,596 --> 01:39:34,414
Take care. Be good to yourself.
1321
01:39:34,518 --> 01:39:36,707
Vaya con Dios, Miss Chi Chi.
1322
01:39:36,811 --> 01:39:39,672
You ruin my language
and I still love you.
1323
01:39:39,777 --> 01:39:45,508
- These all grow wild around here.
- You all grow wild around here.
1324
01:39:45,613 --> 01:39:48,889
This reminds me of Princess Laritza
in Revenge Of The Wench.
1325
01:39:48,993 --> 01:39:51,345
Everybody thought she was dead
1326
01:39:51,450 --> 01:39:54,184
but she had taken
this magical concoction...
1327
01:39:54,288 --> 01:39:57,712
- Anyway, bye-bye.
- Bye.
1328
01:40:00,767 --> 01:40:02,760
Vida...
1329
01:40:06,356 --> 01:40:09,108
Come with us. Please?
1330
01:40:10,027 --> 01:40:12,952
Oh, Lord.
1331
01:40:13,057 --> 01:40:17,915
If you had any idea
of how many nights I've lain awake,
1332
01:40:18,019 --> 01:40:21,169
just thinking about
how to get out of here.
1333
01:40:21,273 --> 01:40:24,200
But it's my home.
1334
01:40:25,626 --> 01:40:28,718
Besides, I got these girls to raise.
1335
01:40:28,822 --> 01:40:30,871
I know.
1336
01:40:33,634 --> 01:40:35,922
I love you, Miss Vida Boheme.
1337
01:40:42,100 --> 01:40:46,928
I've waited my whole life to hear
those words said to that name.
1338
01:40:48,023 --> 01:40:51,410
And I'm very, very, very happy...
1339
01:40:51,514 --> 01:40:54,355
that you're the one to say them.
1340
01:41:00,077 --> 01:41:01,868
What?
1341
01:41:05,457 --> 01:41:07,746
I have a lovely idea.
1342
01:41:13,799 --> 01:41:16,372
I want you to have this.
1343
01:41:17,469 --> 01:41:19,601
I don't know if
you know who she is...
1344
01:41:19,706 --> 01:41:23,808
It's Julie Newmar. I always thought
she was so statuesque.
1345
01:41:24,643 --> 01:41:26,932
My feelings exactly!
1346
01:41:30,732 --> 01:41:32,641
- Well...
- Well...
1347
01:41:42,119 --> 01:41:43,827
Vida!
1348
01:41:45,998 --> 01:41:48,636
I don't think of you as a man.
1349
01:41:48,740 --> 01:41:51,579
And I don't think of you
as a woman.
1350
01:41:52,671 --> 01:41:54,747
I think of you as an angel.
1351
01:41:56,508 --> 01:41:58,999
I think that's healthy.
1352
01:42:49,770 --> 01:42:52,177
Ladies and gentlemen.
1353
01:42:53,565 --> 01:42:58,061
The winner of this year's
Drag Queen Of America contest...
1354
01:42:59,279 --> 01:43:01,661
~ Hey, now. Hey, now ~
1355
01:43:01,765 --> 01:43:04,000
~ What's the matter with you? ~
1356
01:43:04,104 --> 01:43:08,506
~ Girls just wanna have fun nowYeah, yeah, yeah... ~
1357
01:43:08,610 --> 01:43:12,760
Step four. Larger than life
is just the right size.
1358
01:43:12,865 --> 01:43:17,514
~ ... my mother says, "When you gonnalive your life right?"... ~
1359
01:43:17,618 --> 01:43:20,507
Miss Chi Chi Rodriguez!
1360
01:43:22,469 --> 01:43:26,816
~ ... and girls, they wanna have fun ~
1361
01:43:26,920 --> 01:43:32,236
~ Whoa, girls, they wanna haveHey, now. Hey, now ~
1362
01:43:32,340 --> 01:43:34,655
~ What's the matter with you? ~
1363
01:43:34,759 --> 01:43:39,450
~ Girls just wanna have fun now... ~
1364
01:43:39,554 --> 01:43:41,787
Presenting the crown,
1365
01:43:41,892 --> 01:43:45,040
Miss Julie Newmar!
1366
01:43:45,144 --> 01:43:49,335
~ ... what you gonna do with your life? ~
1367
01:43:49,440 --> 01:43:53,382
~ Oh, Daddy dear,you know you're still number one ~
1368
01:43:53,487 --> 01:43:56,412
~ But girls, they wanna have fun ~
1369
01:43:57,713 --> 01:44:00,889
~ Whoa, girls, they wanna have ~
1370
01:44:00,993 --> 01:44:05,562
~ That's all they really want ~
1371
01:44:05,666 --> 01:44:09,734
~ Some fun ~
1372
01:44:09,838 --> 01:44:14,027
~ When the working day is done ~
1373
01:44:14,131 --> 01:44:18,534
~ You know, girls,they wanna have fun ~
1374
01:44:18,639 --> 01:44:22,201
~ Come onHey, now. Hey, now ~
1375
01:44:22,305 --> 01:44:24,411
~ What's the matter with you? ~
1376
01:44:24,515 --> 01:44:28,247
~ Girls just wanna have fun now ~
1377
01:44:28,352 --> 01:44:31,668
~ Come onHey, now. Hey, now ~
1378
01:44:31,773 --> 01:44:33,924
~ What's the matter with you? ~
1379
01:44:34,028 --> 01:44:37,582
~ Girls just wanna have fun now ~
1380
01:44:43,342 --> 01:44:45,935
~ Do you wanna be free, yeah? ~
1381
01:44:46,039 --> 01:44:49,131
~ Oh, oh ~
1382
01:44:51,433 --> 01:44:53,591
~ Do you wanna be free, yeah? ~
1383
01:44:54,770 --> 01:44:56,809
~ Just free yourself ~
1384
01:44:58,649 --> 01:45:00,522
~ Just free yourself ~
1385
01:45:01,818 --> 01:45:05,576
~ Take a look at yourselfWhat do you see? ~
1386
01:45:05,681 --> 01:45:09,164
~ A willing victim of mediocrity ~
1387
01:45:09,269 --> 01:45:13,506
~ No one told youyou can't have it all ~
1388
01:45:13,610 --> 01:45:16,800
~ It's time to act up and have a ball ~
1389
01:45:16,904 --> 01:45:18,924
~ You've got to free yourself ~
1390
01:45:19,028 --> 01:45:21,467
~ Gonna change that vibe ~
1391
01:45:21,571 --> 01:45:25,433
~ Free yourselfLeave the past behind ~
1392
01:45:25,537 --> 01:45:27,103
~ See yourself ~
1393
01:45:27,207 --> 01:45:30,769
~ In a different lightThere is no one else ~
1394
01:45:30,873 --> 01:45:32,923
~ Just free yourself ~
1395
01:45:33,934 --> 01:45:37,570
~ There'll be those who saywhat you're doing is wrong ~
1396
01:45:37,674 --> 01:45:41,320
~ You can't listen to foolsYou've got to be strong ~
1397
01:45:41,425 --> 01:45:45,618
~ Close your eyesany place that you can be ~
1398
01:45:45,723 --> 01:45:49,498
~ Be what you want yourself to be ~
1399
01:45:49,603 --> 01:45:54,171
~ I can show you how to go to ~
1400
01:45:54,275 --> 01:45:57,172
~ To heaven ~
1401
01:45:57,276 --> 01:46:01,845
~ Ordinary, it's left standing ~
1402
01:46:01,949 --> 01:46:04,846
~ Just leave them in my past ~
1403
01:46:04,950 --> 01:46:07,017
~ You've got toFree yourself ~
1404
01:46:07,121 --> 01:46:08,936
~ Gotta change that vibe ~
1405
01:46:09,040 --> 01:46:12,852
~ Why don't you be yourself?Leave the past behind ~
1406
01:46:12,956 --> 01:46:15,025
~ It's time to see yourself ~
1407
01:46:15,129 --> 01:46:19,596
~ In a different lightAin't no one else, just free yourself ~
1408
01:46:20,731 --> 01:46:24,655
~ Free yourselfFree yourself ~
1409
01:46:24,760 --> 01:46:27,486
~ Why don't you be yourself? ~
1410
01:46:28,905 --> 01:46:31,859
~ It's time to see yourself ~
1411
01:46:34,536 --> 01:46:36,585
~ Just free yourself ~
1412
01:46:36,689 --> 01:46:40,447
~ Free yourself ~
1413
01:46:41,376 --> 01:46:45,179
~ Be yourself ~
1414
01:46:45,283 --> 01:46:47,637
~ See yourself ~
1415
01:46:47,741 --> 01:46:51,058
~ In a new light ~
1416
01:46:51,162 --> 01:46:54,386
~ Free yourself ~
1417
01:46:59,937 --> 01:47:03,323
~ Free yourselfFree yourself ~
1418
01:47:03,427 --> 01:47:07,977
~ Ooh, yeah ~
1419
01:47:09,655 --> 01:47:13,024
~ Oh, oh ~
1420
01:47:14,534 --> 01:47:17,838
~ Just free yourselfDo you wanna be free, yeah? ~
1421
01:47:17,942 --> 01:47:22,132
~ I can show you how to go to ~
1422
01:47:22,236 --> 01:47:25,218
~ The head of your class ~
1423
01:47:25,322 --> 01:47:33,015
~ Ordinary, it's left standingIn the past ~
1424
01:47:33,120 --> 01:47:36,687
~ Free yourselfGotta change that vibe ~
1425
01:47:36,791 --> 01:47:40,568
~ Why don't you be yourself?Leave the past behind ~
1426
01:47:40,672 --> 01:47:43,192
~ It's time to see yourself ~
1427
01:47:43,297 --> 01:47:46,864
~ In a different light ~
1428
01:47:46,968 --> 01:47:49,241
~ Just free yourself ~
1429
01:47:49,345 --> 01:47:52,495
~ Free yourself ~
1430
01:47:52,600 --> 01:47:55,082
~ Why don't you be yourself? ~
1431
01:47:55,187 --> 01:47:58,907
~ Don't you want to be free?It's time to see yourself... ~
108074
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