All language subtitles for The.Perfect.Date.2019

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian Download
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian Download
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,566 Dear Office of Admissions, 2 00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:28,361 my name is Brooks Rattigan, 3 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,485 but I don't just want you to know that, 4 00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,912 I want the world to know that, 5 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,831 because I wanna change the world. 6 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,173 Like my heroes before me, 7 00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:42,709 Jobs, Jordan, 8 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,299 Musk, game changers. 9 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,094 World changers. 10 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,669 These are big lives, 11 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,303 glamorous lives. 12 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:53,972 My dad lived a pretty big life. 13 00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:56,216 Now he... 14 00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:58,272 doesn't. 15 00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:00,479 You can't change the world alone. 16 00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,400 Every Jobs needs a Watts, every Jordan has a Pippen, 17 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,730 every Musk has... 18 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,320 Well, actually I think 19 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,689 Musk will probably end up on Mars by himself. 20 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:09,647 I've got Murph. 21 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,486 The reviews are in. 22 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,161 -And? -Someone wrote... 23 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,699 Oh, "This app made me poke my eyes out, thanks for nothing." 24 00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,914 But someone else wrote, "Groovy app," so... 25 00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:20,707 I guess it's net neutral. 26 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,209 -It's good that they're not all bad. -True. 27 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:24,251 On to the next one. 28 00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:27,964 Another crucial lesson I've learned from my heroes and from Murph, 29 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,706 "Always be improving." 30 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:33,127 I invoke this lesson daily in my current profession... 31 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,596 purveyor of the culinary arts. 32 00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:46,610 Without vision, we succumb to the average, and what I want is the extraordinary 33 00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:48,939 and the support of an extraordinary unive-- 34 00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:51,185 Okay. That's enough. 35 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,607 -But there's actually five more pages. -That's plenty. 36 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:55,494 Okay. 37 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,326 So what do you think? 38 00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:58,792 I think... 39 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,417 I think all the words were there. 40 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:06,705 You hate it. 41 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,880 I bare my soul on these pages and you hate my soul. 42 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,973 You didn't bare your soul. That's what I hate about it. 43 00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,628 -Say more about that. -You wanna change the world? 44 00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:15,547 What about it? 45 00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,972 The world needs changing and I'm sure that you can agree with that. 46 00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:20,425 Ugh! 47 00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:24,936 You talk about creating the next big thing. What thing? 48 00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:27,653 And you wanna be a game-changer. 49 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,519 What is the game? 50 00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:31,989 You're really going full-blown Shark Tank on me, 51 00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,648 and I have to say that I appreciate it. 52 00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:36,566 -Yale's the goal, correct? -Yes, more than anything in the world. 53 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,281 You have the grades. 54 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,406 Thank you for noticing. 55 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,082 They're not just looking for good grades. 56 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,961 If you wanna stand out, you're gonna have to rework your essay. 57 00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:46,248 You're gonna have to look real deep inside 58 00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,672 and ask yourself, 59 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,920 "Who is Brooks Rattigan?" 60 00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:02,218 Wanna take it for a spin, Rattigan? 61 00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:06,484 -Uh, yeah, sure. -Yeah? 62 00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,015 No. No! 63 00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:14,487 ♪ I spend all my time ♪ 64 00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:15,699 ♪ Waiting... ♪ 65 00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:20,703 ♪ What do you do? ♪ 66 00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:25,327 ♪ I'm tired of tryin' ♪ 67 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:28,543 ♪ Gave up my life for you ♪ 68 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,000 ♪ But now we're through ♪ 69 00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:36,795 ♪ I know there's no going back From it, baby ♪ 70 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:42,600 ♪ You know where I wanna be... ♪ 71 00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,941 Hey, he's home. 72 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,309 Good thing I got a second box here. 73 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,397 No, I think I'm just gonna grab something from work. 74 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,113 Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. Don't go. 75 00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:57,528 I feel like we don't talk anymore. 76 00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,742 Really? I feel like that's pretty much all we do. 77 00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:02,122 You met with the counselor today, right? How did that go? 78 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,370 It was good. She told me that Yale's competitive. Did you know that? 79 00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,084 I thought we agreed on UCONN? 80 00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,464 Faculty scions only pay room and board. 81 00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:12,461 Dad, I told you not to worry about the money. Okay, you're right. Why am I worried about money? 82 00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,955 College is free, right? 83 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:17,916 I'm gonna figure it out. 84 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,429 I don't get it. 85 00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:21,641 It's a great school. 86 00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:24,969 UCONN is like the girl down the street who eats food in bed and smells like it. 87 00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:27,346 -Patty Munchwrath? -I love Patty, she's fantastic, 88 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,813 but she's not Yale. 89 00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:29,733 Yale... 90 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:30,938 She is... 91 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,110 she's smart, 92 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,688 she's stylish, but not flashy. 93 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,574 She's cultured, she speaks multiple languages, 94 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,781 probably knows how to sail. 95 00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,360 You get accepted by her, 96 00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,620 that means you're somebody special. 97 00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,365 Murph, do you wanna write my admissions essay for me? 98 00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:48,712 We could do it like a thought exercise. 99 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:51,958 I'm good, cos I'm writing mine, because people write their own. 100 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:54,171 Give me some inspiration. What's your core theme? 101 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,632 I'm writing about my struggles with dyslexia, 102 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,715 and I'm writing it backwards. 103 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:00,839 That's genius. 104 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,258 -Do you wanna hear what I got? -Mm. 105 00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:05,256 "My name is Brooks Rattigan." 106 00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:09,888 I like it. It's raw. 107 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,225 Honest. 108 00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,073 I don't know, man, I think my life's interesting. 109 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,109 I just don't know how to articulate it, you know? 110 00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,613 Why don't you write about your mom leaving? 111 00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:24,623 -That's interesting. -That's a really short essay, actually. 112 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,869 Dad got bucked off the publishing horse instead of getting back on it, 113 00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:29,702 and chasing after his cowgirl, 114 00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:32,287 he decided that sitting in the mud was good enough for him. 115 00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:34,583 Yeah, but she left you too. 116 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:38,627 No, I think in truth she left this town, and I can't hold that against her. 117 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:41,554 Nothing is good enough for you. 118 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,378 I think I can respect that. 119 00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:46,761 My aunt and uncle keep begging me, and it's like I'm not gonna say, "No." 120 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:50,096 You say, "No," because she's family and dating your cousin is weird. 121 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,603 Dude, I'm not dating my cousin, 122 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,944 I'm escorting her to a semi-formal like Greenwich Prep, that's it. 123 00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:57,109 Plus my uncle is paying me too, so... 124 00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,490 What up, Rattigan? Italian sub on wheat, no tomatoes. 125 00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,280 Italian sub for the Italian guy. 126 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,322 I'm Swedish. No, yeah, I know, 127 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,660 just no self-respecting Italian would turn his back on the tomato. 128 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:09,905 Word. 129 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:14,501 Anyway, I mean, dude, it's like the worst timing ever too. 130 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,212 Like, Maddison's parents are gonna be gone 131 00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,462 for the night and we'd have the house to ourselves. Is your cousin hot? I'll take her if she's hot. 132 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,514 I'll take your cousin. 133 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,304 -What? -Yeah, what? 134 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,724 Yeah, what? 135 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,967 -I'll take your cousin to the dance. -Oh, yeah, sandwich boy? 136 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,385 Yeah? You gonna be wearing those plastic gloves too? 137 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,024 Cos my aunt would love that. 138 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,441 No, this is Greenwich, so I would dress the part. 139 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,690 -Why? What would you get out of it? -I get the payment you're talking about. 140 00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,607 -And I get to take your car. 141 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,323 No, you're not taking my car. 142 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,493 Come on, man, you're gonna tell me that you really wanna give up the chance 143 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:50,282 of spending an entire night all alone with Maddison when her parents are out of town? 144 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,664 You got a suit? 145 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:02,003 Woo! I cannot believe he said yes, Murph. This is incredible! 146 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,208 It's just a car. 147 00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:06,047 You have no appreciation for the finer things in life. 148 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:06,974 Speaking of things 149 00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:09,101 I don't have appreciation for, remind me again, 150 00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:10,558 why you agreed to do this? 151 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,098 Because I need the money. 152 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,271 Who knows, maybe stepping outside of myself, 153 00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:17,270 becoming someone else for the night, it might help me finish my essay. 154 00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:19,313 And who are you gonna become? 155 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,687 Whatever she wants me to be, which I'm pretty sure is 156 00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:23,284 what every other girl wants me to be. 157 00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:25,069 Some knight in shining armor, 158 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:28,493 some Prince Charming to open doors for her and compliment her hair. 159 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,913 You're getting paid to take a girl on a date. 160 00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:34,082 So, did you know that Michelle Obama got paid to go on a date with Barack 161 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,372 -and look how great that turned out. -Is that true? 162 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,826 I don't know. I'm not a presidential historian, but it could be true, 163 00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,207 and that is my point. 164 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,016 -Hello, sir. Brooks Rattigan. -Brooks Rattigan. 165 00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,444 Reece told us all about you. 166 00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:09,073 Just your name, but that's all I needed to run the background check. 167 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,660 No, I actually know that you ran a background check. 168 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,452 -I found out when I ran one on you. 169 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,910 -Jerry Lieberman. Come in, Brooks. -Sure. 170 00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,247 Before you have a chance to change your mind. 171 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:22,883 I'm kidding. 172 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,173 I like to joke about things. 173 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,514 -So, welcome to our humble abode. - This is stupid! 174 00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,468 -As you can see, all original flooring. - Get out! 175 00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:33,722 I swear, Jerry, the wrinkles that girl has caused me 176 00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:35,644 in places I didn't even know could wrinkle. 177 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,273 Honey, our guest has arrived. 178 00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:38,428 Hi. 179 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,598 Brooks Rattigan. Lillian Lieberman. 180 00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,108 She won't wear the shoes. 181 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:49,361 There are no "the shoes," there's just shoes. Is she wearing shoes? 182 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,374 It's a miracle she agreed to do this. 183 00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:57,452 Good evening. 184 00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,160 -I am-- -Reece's bitch? 185 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,287 -Celia! -Relax, he knows I'm kidding. 186 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,625 Right, slum? 187 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,133 Oh, sweetie, you look so beautiful. 188 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,962 I'm not wearing the shoes. 189 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,877 -But they go. -Listen to yourself. 190 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:14,046 Well, I happen to think that heels are an outmoded display of 191 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,010 female oppression. 192 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:19,845 Fine. 193 00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:21,194 Thanks, Mom. 194 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,734 Let's do this, so we can stop doing this. 195 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,439 You kids have fun. 196 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:31,067 -Thanks for the assist back there. -Yeah, no, just part of the job. 197 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,525 Reece let you use his car. 198 00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:37,115 Man, he was really desperate to get out of this, wasn't he? 199 00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:40,041 No, he wanted to go with you. He thought we would have more fun together. 200 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,081 -Uh-huh. -Here. 201 00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:42,829 There you are. 202 00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,165 Oh, that's cute, 203 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,667 but I can open my own doors. 204 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,420 Thanks. 205 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,466 Okay. 206 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:03,845 Shall I put on some music? 207 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,650 Wow, you provide quite the service. 208 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,940 Don't tell me you've got individually wrapped Mentos 209 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,738 and Tyler water bottles in your glove box. 210 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:15,784 Oh, my God, you do. 211 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,657 Fulfilling my fantasy of dating my Lyft driver. 212 00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:22,664 In 500 feet, make a left. 213 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,457 No, you're gonna keep on the straight. 214 00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:27,750 -The navigation said-- -No, don't listen to robots, listen to me. 215 00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,705 Recalculating. In 200 feet, make a right. 216 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,376 You need to make a left here. 217 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,220 Okay, so now pull over, 218 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,352 and here we are. 219 00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,595 This is not your high school. Wouldn't it be weird if it was? 220 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,692 Okay, so you can swing back and pick me up in a few hours. 221 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,229 You're telling me that you would rather hang out at a... 222 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,820 café book store than go to a high school dance? 223 00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:50,729 Yes. 224 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:52,609 Oh, my God. Yes. 225 00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:53,823 Yes, I would. 226 00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,574 -Celia. -Gigolo. 227 00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:58,065 -Brooks. My name's Brooks. -Sure. 228 00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:01,407 Look, you are my responsibility, and I cannot let you out of this car. 229 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,204 Okay, let's define terms here. 230 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:07,077 I'm not your responsibility, because Eisenhower isn't in office anymore. 231 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,536 Secondly, you're being paid to hang out with me. 232 00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:15,171 Imagine how that makes me feel. Like, really, really imagine it. 233 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,260 Now do as I say. 234 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:21,013 Compensation aside, I think that you and I could have a really good time tonight. 235 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,101 You've clearly never been to my high school. 236 00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:29,943 Fine. 237 00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,193 Wow. 238 00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:36,237 What? 239 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,988 Your hair looks really nice. 240 00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:58,134 -Wow, this is your cafeteria? -Center for culinary participation. 241 00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:00,802 Don't let the glossy sheen fool you, 242 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,346 the food still sucks. 243 00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:06,273 I admire your ability to ruin moments. You do it with panache. 244 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,107 Why is nobody dancing? What, is dancing just a poor person thing now? 245 00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,518 You think people actually go to a dance to dance? 246 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:15,687 No, they come here to take photos for their Instagram. 247 00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,566 I'm sure that's why people have babies too. 248 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,447 -Okay, let's go shred some hardwood. -No. 249 00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:21,491 -Yes. -No, no, no. 250 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,704 -No. -Yes! 251 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,093 Okay. 252 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:39,467 What do you got going on over here? 253 00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:42,847 I can't tell if you're doing Chandler Bing or Napoleon Dynamite. 254 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:44,719 Definitely Bing. 255 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,351 It's a good choice. 256 00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:01,776 No. 257 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,528 -Come on. -No. 258 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,946 -Come on! -No. 259 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,704 -Come on. -No, no, no, no! 260 00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:16,499 Bye. 261 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,558 -Oh! Ouch! -Hey! 262 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,809 -Are you okay? -Yeah. 263 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,680 You just made me twist my ankle, you dipshit. 264 00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:33,097 Sorry, I was kind of blinded by an angelic light. 265 00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,307 It's fine, whatever, just now I'm on medical leave. 266 00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:39,191 -Hey, come on, let me help you. -Hey, do not touch me. Thank you. 267 00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:57,796 -Thank you. -Yeah. 268 00:13:58,295 --> 00:13:59,795 Are you okay, Celia? 269 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,880 Uh, yeah, I'm fine. 270 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:06,386 But now I can't run the charity 5K for canine diabetes this weekend. 271 00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,220 Oh! Funny. 272 00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:12,939 So, I'm having this intimate after-party thing at my place. You guys should come. 273 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,652 Yeah, I mean, that's... 274 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,689 She's, you know, but rain check? 275 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,113 That's a shame. 276 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,316 -I'm Shelby, by the way. -Brooks. 277 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,074 -Hi. -Hi. 278 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,276 Okay. 279 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:31,407 Well, what do you say there, Brooksie, my boyfriend, 280 00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:35,205 my protector, my forever love, shall we get the hell moving? 281 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,671 -Yeah. It was nice to meet you. -Yeah, you too. 282 00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:38,915 Bye. 283 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,175 I mean, a baby in a gas mask? 284 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:53,524 Oh! Street art is a public disservice. 285 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,061 It's like streaking on a baseball field. 286 00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,515 -Trashbug? -Yeah. 287 00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,055 I see his stuff everywhere. 288 00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:02,436 I'm pretty sure his next piece is gonna be the Mona Lisa, but with the fangs. 289 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:06,566 Trashbug, he's just some bored, privileged white dude, I know it. 290 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,201 How you doing, temperature wise? Are you comfortable? 291 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,243 You're a real professional. 292 00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,697 -Like, is this your stock-in-trade? -No. 293 00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:16,617 It should be. I'm telling you, you're really good at it. 294 00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:21,207 Troubled rich girls in need of a chaperone, it could be big business here. 295 00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:22,590 You really think so? 296 00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:27,642 No, I'm joking. But, wow, you are super serious about it, huh? 297 00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,388 Okay, you know I could... 298 00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,636 I could provide a testimonial for your website. 299 00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:37,597 Celia Lieberman says, "Brooks Rattigan stepped on my ankle, 300 00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:39,402 but... 301 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,192 he got me ice." 302 00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,033 Much appreciated, thank you. 303 00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,044 Wait, hold on. Let me help you. 304 00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,293 You seriously do not have to do that. 305 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,706 Wait, come on. Hold on. 306 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,755 I insist. You shouldn't have to walk to that door by yourself, 307 00:16:05,839 --> 00:16:07,799 especially not with that ankle, 308 00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:11,053 which has miraculously shifted to the other leg. 309 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:11,966 Huh? 310 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:13,811 Miracles happen every day. 311 00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:17,516 I had to break into the kitchen to get you packs of ice. 312 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,109 -You're a sadist. -One of my more likable qualities. 313 00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:23,438 I cannot believe that I missed Shelby's after-party because of your dumb, fake ankle injury. 314 00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:27,439 My fake ankle injury was not dumb. 315 00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,988 My fake ankle injury was strategic and adorable. 316 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:33,082 You should be thanking me. You do not belong at Shelby's party. 317 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:36,698 Oh, really? Poor kid from Bridgeport doesn't belong at a Greenwich after party? 318 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:40,207 Whoa, I didn't even need to try to push that button. 319 00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:43,630 We met, like, four hours ago, remember? I don't know where you're from. 320 00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:48,841 I meant you don't belong there, because you seem normal. 321 00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:50,264 Whoa. Phew. 322 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,392 The highest compliment one can receive. 323 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,764 Hey, you're back. 324 00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,022 Disappear. 325 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,523 Ugh! 326 00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,072 -So, how was the dance? -It was good. 327 00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:08,145 -Oh, thanks for asking. -Right. 328 00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:10,652 Your daughter is a very... 329 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:14,318 Do not try to define her, Brooks, it will mess up your early 40s. 330 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,708 Well, there's still the matter of the... 331 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,286 The bounty. 332 00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:23,422 Yes. 333 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:25,836 You know what, take all of it. 334 00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:28,129 -Are you sure? That's a lot of money. -Yeah. 335 00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:31,302 You lasted three hours longer than we predicted. 336 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:33,474 You earned every Benjamin. 337 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:37,428 All right, the exterior looks okay. 338 00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:40,394 I mean, you got a couple of smudges right here, but, 339 00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,730 it's not too big of a deal. 340 00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:44,056 I don't get it. 341 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,606 Reece, we go to the same school, your parents aren't rich, 342 00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:48,440 -how did you afford this thing? -Hey, dude... 343 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,065 Dude, some questions shouldn't be asked, okay? 344 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:57,829 -Yeah, my bad. -I'm kidding, bro, I'm kidding. 345 00:17:58,452 --> 00:17:59,502 Calm down. 346 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,333 Honestly, it's in the hustle. 347 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:05,955 It's all in the hustle. 348 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:26,395 Come on, it is classic quid pro quo. 349 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,900 I get the app I need, and the money I need to go to Yale, 350 00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:31,492 and you get to practice your craft, the art of coding. 351 00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:34,028 -You haven't even been accepted yet. -Yet. 352 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,163 Look, worst case scenario, I take the money, 353 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,450 and I get ownership stake in this here fine establishment. 354 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,495 I can finally live out my eighth-choice dream 355 00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,208 of a being a fast food restaurant owner. 356 00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:45,831 What would you need exactly? 357 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,786 Okay, so I've been thinking and I think 358 00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:50,456 that every date would be custom built by the user, 359 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,876 meaning that they could pick my personality, my interests, 360 00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,715 whether I'm a listener or a talker, if I'm funny or serious. 361 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:59,141 Basically, I am a stand-in for whatever it is that they want. 362 00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:00,851 Their dream come true. 363 00:19:01,723 --> 00:19:03,603 If it was successful, 364 00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,644 that would look good on my college application. 365 00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:08,267 So does this mean that you're in? 366 00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:12,401 Yes! 367 00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:14,573 I love you so much, Murph. 368 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,033 Wait, what time, what time is it? 369 00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,366 -Uh... -Oh, tuna melt on seven grain! 370 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,026 Did you hear a ding? 371 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:22,367 I think the cheese delivery is here, would you go check? 372 00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:24,622 -I didn't hear a ding. -No, I did, yeah. 373 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,207 -I definitely heard it. Go. Now. -Why are you rushing me, man? 374 00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,086 Hi. 375 00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,628 I'll take a tuna melt on seven grain, please. 376 00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:37,381 Of course you will. 377 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:43,269 Is it done? 378 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:47,389 Have you ever tried to program an app on custom Objective-C infrastructure? 379 00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,938 You're lucky I was able to salvage some of this code from another project. 380 00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:56,065 Is that it? It is done. 381 00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,533 Murph, this is... 382 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,450 This is perfect. 383 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:09,037 Uh-huh. In terms of functionality, think GrubHub, 384 00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,504 but instead of ordering Pad Thai, 385 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:12,585 they'll be ordering you. 386 00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:16,086 And check it out, I created a secondary app that tracks your progress. 387 00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:19,376 As you make more money, your avatar gets closer to your goal. 388 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,138 I'm calling it MyTraxx. 389 00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:22,758 MyTraxx. 390 00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:25,556 There's little Brooks riding it in there, he looks so innocent. 391 00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,141 Yeah, but that's all in the past because you're a hooker now. 392 00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:31,812 -What? No, I'm not. I'm a-- -I guess that makes me your pimp. 393 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,727 -A high-tech pimp, but a pimp nonetheless. -No. 394 00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:36,356 I'm a gay teenage pimp, 395 00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,855 wearing a secondhand hoodie. My life as I envisioned it. 396 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,856 I am not gonna be sleeping-- 397 00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:43,328 Yeah, I know, because if you did, we'd both go to jail, 398 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:46,498 which rhymes with Yale and yet is so different, 399 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,788 but you have your new rich friends to bail you out. 400 00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:51,332 Okay, Murph, first of all, I don't have any new friends. 401 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,456 Okay? And second of all, I'm offering my services as a chaperone. 402 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,552 Whatever, man. What do we do now? 403 00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,756 What one does when bringing a new product to market? 404 00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:04,683 Talk about it incessantly on Reddit, until it sounds really important. 405 00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:06,807 What is a Reddit? 406 00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:16,315 - What's going on? -Breakfast for two. 407 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:17,862 Why? 408 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:21,113 Because families eat breakfast together, even really small ones. 409 00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:23,116 Next year, when you're off to college, 410 00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:26,948 I'll be a family of one, so now we eat pancakes. 411 00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:30,663 Pancakes. 412 00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:33,042 -Thank you. -Mm-hmm. 413 00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:37,416 What is going on? 414 00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:40,344 I haven't seen this look on your face since Mom let you buy a motorcycle. 415 00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,224 I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. 416 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,641 I saw it in the mail this morning and I just had to open it. 417 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,720 UCONN, you got in, full ride. 418 00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:50,226 I know, you think you got in because I teach there. 419 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,809 Dad, you teach a continued ed night class, two Wednesdays a month. 420 00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:54,864 I don't think that had anything to do with... 421 00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:57,983 Look, I'm sorry, I just... 422 00:21:58,066 --> 00:22:00,606 I haven't worked my ass off for the past three and a half years 423 00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:01,954 to go to a public college, Dad. 424 00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:06,779 Look, I gotta get to work. 425 00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:10,446 I don't know how you managed it, but you ruined pancakes. 426 00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:12,161 That's impressive. 427 00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:37,020 Dear Office of Admissions, 428 00:22:37,647 --> 00:22:42,237 My name is Brooks Rattigan 429 00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:44,949 of House Wreck. 430 00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:55,619 Murph, you Prince of Connecticut, you King of Reddit. 431 00:23:04,925 --> 00:23:08,465 And of course, the whole abstract expressionist movement 432 00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:10,513 really gained notoriety from Jackson Pollock, 433 00:23:10,597 --> 00:23:13,557 whose, you know, influence is clearly present here. 434 00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:15,311 Hmm. 435 00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:17,765 ♪ I know the score ♪ 436 00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:20,147 ♪ Like the back of my hand ♪ 437 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,735 ♪ I don't give a damn ♪ 438 00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:26,740 ♪ They kiss on the ring ♪ 439 00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:29,368 ♪ I carry the crown ♪ 440 00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:37,371 Suck it, Bill and Claire! 441 00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:44,167 So, sports, right? 442 00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:46,256 Isn't it interesting how many there are? 443 00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:50,470 And how some use balls and some... don't? 444 00:23:50,554 --> 00:23:52,724 And pucks. There's pucks. 445 00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:55,183 Okay, I'm terrible at this. 446 00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:57,517 I should just never go on a real date, ever. 447 00:23:57,602 --> 00:23:59,352 No, no, no, no, you're doing great. 448 00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:03,438 ♪ I'm the man, come round ♪ 449 00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:09,493 ♪ You can't break me down ♪ 450 00:24:10,157 --> 00:24:12,487 This is one small step for man. 451 00:24:15,662 --> 00:24:19,082 Talk about what you want to talk about, not what you think I want to talk about. 452 00:24:19,166 --> 00:24:21,076 Yeah, okay, that makes sense. 453 00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:23,168 So, what do you want to talk about? 454 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:28,425 Um, well, this morning I did see a very large man walking a very tiny dog. 455 00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:30,257 Oh, my God, I... 456 00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:33,139 -I love it when that happens. -Me too. 457 00:24:33,221 --> 00:24:34,511 ♪ I always earn ♪ 458 00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:38,694 ♪ I got nothing to learn ♪ 459 00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:41,350 ♪ 'Cause baby, I'm gifted ♪ 460 00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:48,697 ♪ I'm the man ♪ 461 00:24:52,532 --> 00:24:55,622 ♪ You can't break me down ♪ 462 00:24:55,744 --> 00:24:56,754 Howdy. 463 00:24:58,371 --> 00:24:59,211 Hola. 464 00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:01,710 Hey. 465 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:07,798 ♪ I'm the man ♪ 466 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:28,356 Brooks. 467 00:25:28,443 --> 00:25:29,783 Look, I'm not good at apologies, 468 00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:31,911 but I feel I owe you one, because you're a gentleman 469 00:25:31,988 --> 00:25:33,278 and pretty fun to be around. 470 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,775 You were just doing your job, but you were pretty smug too, so it shouldn't be a whole apology, but a half apology, 471 00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:40,210 so I'm half sorry, is that cool? 472 00:25:40,288 --> 00:25:41,618 Yeah, I'm sorry, who's this? 473 00:25:41,706 --> 00:25:44,746 Oh, Jeez, sorry, it's Celia. So do you accept my half apology or not? 474 00:25:45,293 --> 00:25:48,003 Well, you are half forgiven, but fully admired for the effort. 475 00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:48,918 Well, good, 476 00:25:49,005 --> 00:25:51,335 because I'm in desperate need of your services. 477 00:25:51,424 --> 00:25:53,644 Oh, God, what's your mom making you go to this time? 478 00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:56,808 Is it a débutante ball? Ice cream social? Wait, let me guess. 479 00:25:57,305 --> 00:25:58,465 Is it a horse auction? 480 00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,727 Aha. No, yeah, that's pretty accurate. 481 00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:03,059 No, there's this boy I like, Franklin. 482 00:26:03,144 --> 00:26:04,404 Hold on, Celia, 483 00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:05,609 you have a crush? 484 00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:07,981 Is that so hard to believe? 485 00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:11,236 Yes, it is. That's why you're hearing disbelief in my tone. 486 00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:13,739 Just because I'm a little weird, doesn't make me less human, 487 00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:15,282 in fact, it makes me more human. 488 00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:17,525 So, there's this party at Shelby's house tonight-- 489 00:26:17,617 --> 00:26:19,407 Yes. Oh, my God, yes. 490 00:26:19,494 --> 00:26:22,124 -A hundred times, yes. -Whoa, reel it in there, cowboy. 491 00:26:22,205 --> 00:26:23,035 I mean... 492 00:26:23,123 --> 00:26:25,333 I barely wanna go. 493 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:28,087 Yeah, so I'm thinking, listen, we show up as a hot couple, 494 00:26:28,336 --> 00:26:30,126 get Franklin a little jealous, 495 00:26:30,213 --> 00:26:33,053 maybe you can stir up some attention from Shelby. 496 00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:34,593 So, pick me up at seven. 497 00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:35,716 It's a date. 498 00:26:35,802 --> 00:26:39,062 And Celia, next time you require my services, 499 00:26:39,639 --> 00:26:41,019 could you use my app? 500 00:26:41,099 --> 00:26:42,309 Oh, my God, you didn't? 501 00:26:42,809 --> 00:26:44,889 Oh, but I did. 502 00:26:51,234 --> 00:26:55,364 Okay, this is way more than a mints and tiny bottles of water. 503 00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:57,367 This is a full-on bespoke concierge service. 504 00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:58,449 Yes, ma'am. 505 00:26:58,533 --> 00:27:02,003 Okay, so what's the weirdest Brooks Rattigan you've been thus far? 506 00:27:02,078 --> 00:27:05,038 I had a date the other night, where I had to just sit on this girl's couch 507 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:07,503 and listen to her talk for four hours straight, 508 00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:11,554 and all I was allowed to say was, "Yes, I agree," 509 00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:13,510 and "There's no other way to see it." 510 00:27:13,590 --> 00:27:16,220 -My God, that is the perfect date. -There's no other way to see it. 511 00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:19,601 Hey, thank you. 512 00:27:19,679 --> 00:27:22,809 Son, a couple of things. The shifter sticks a little bit, 513 00:27:22,891 --> 00:27:25,771 and the passenger window doesn't close all the way, so watch out for that. 514 00:27:25,852 --> 00:27:29,652 And there's a spring in the seat cushion, so do not lean all the way back. 515 00:27:33,193 --> 00:27:35,613 Wow. What, does Bruce Wayne live here? 516 00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:38,244 You know, Shelby's dad's basically Batman, 517 00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:40,493 if Bruce Wayne was a sleazy hedge fund manager 518 00:27:40,575 --> 00:27:42,285 with a questionable sense of finance law. 519 00:27:54,130 --> 00:27:54,960 Excuse me. 520 00:27:56,424 --> 00:27:57,384 You guys made it. 521 00:27:57,926 --> 00:27:59,006 Hey. 522 00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:02,224 -Uh, your place is amazing. -Oh, thank you. 523 00:28:02,305 --> 00:28:03,845 It really makes me reconsider the allure 524 00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:06,232 of living in a three-room house with a view of Target. 525 00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:11,229 Oh, he's kidding, obviously. Brooks is from Darien. 526 00:28:11,731 --> 00:28:13,111 Oh, my God, I love it there. 527 00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:15,071 It's just so beautiful, 528 00:28:15,151 --> 00:28:17,611 it makes this neighborhood look like a shanty town. 529 00:28:18,446 --> 00:28:21,196 Could you excuse me for one moment? 530 00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:23,242 It seems the family dog escaped his room. 531 00:28:23,326 --> 00:28:24,286 Don't go anywhere. 532 00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:25,999 I wouldn't want to get lost. 533 00:28:26,913 --> 00:28:27,753 -Dad. -What? 534 00:28:28,581 --> 00:28:30,211 I'm in trouble. 535 00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:32,496 Darien? Really? 536 00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:35,918 Hey, this is Shelby Pace we're trying to impress here. 537 00:28:36,464 --> 00:28:38,134 Either go big or go home, son. 538 00:28:41,469 --> 00:28:43,469 Oh, my God, that's Franklin. Abort, let's go. 539 00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:45,305 This is the whole reason that we're here. 540 00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:48,060 I know, but I just didn't expect to see him so soon, 541 00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:51,353 I thought I'd have some time to, I don't know, like clutch my bearings. 542 00:28:51,438 --> 00:28:53,188 Relax. Okay, which one is he? 543 00:28:53,815 --> 00:28:56,525 -Is he the guy in the yellow shirt? -Yes, stop being so obvious. 544 00:28:56,609 --> 00:28:58,319 -He's cute. -Stop it. 545 00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:00,073 Pretend to have a conversation with me. 546 00:29:04,451 --> 00:29:07,871 We could also have a real conversation, that might be way less weird. 547 00:29:07,954 --> 00:29:09,504 Fine, whatever, you start. 548 00:29:09,622 --> 00:29:10,462 Um... 549 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,880 Where are you planning on going to college? 550 00:29:12,959 --> 00:29:14,749 Uh, University of Michigan. 551 00:29:14,836 --> 00:29:17,546 Wait, you're not going Ivy League? Isn't that, like, your birthright? 552 00:29:17,630 --> 00:29:19,260 Please, you see this? 553 00:29:19,340 --> 00:29:20,180 Uh-huh. 554 00:29:20,258 --> 00:29:23,468 This is the precise number of shits I give about the Ivy League. 555 00:29:23,803 --> 00:29:25,763 Well, I give many more shits than that. 556 00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:29,641 You know, if you want to go talk to him, 557 00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:31,096 you should just go talk to him. 558 00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:33,516 I know, I'm working up to it. 559 00:29:34,522 --> 00:29:36,612 -This is ridiculous, come on. -Stop it. 560 00:29:36,691 --> 00:29:38,691 You're making it worse by making a scene. 561 00:29:39,152 --> 00:29:42,282 -You are such a brute. -It's one of my more likable qualities. 562 00:29:42,822 --> 00:29:45,122 Have you seen this collection? She is a music fiend, 563 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,790 always going on and on about bands. 564 00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:49,368 Bands that I've never heard of, so you know they're cool, right? Not in like a mainstream way cool, more like a subversive. 565 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,330 Tell him. 566 00:29:54,709 --> 00:29:56,839 I like music and records. 567 00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:00,340 Me too. I mean, vinyl is the only pure delivery method, right? 568 00:30:02,675 --> 00:30:05,465 Yeah, I'm always saying that. 569 00:30:06,012 --> 00:30:08,772 Music should only be listened to 570 00:30:08,848 --> 00:30:11,938 on melted and then pressed vinyl discs. 571 00:30:12,018 --> 00:30:15,018 There are kids our age, they've never even heard a vinyl record before. 572 00:30:15,104 --> 00:30:17,364 They don't know what they're missing, 573 00:30:18,191 --> 00:30:19,481 or worse, 574 00:30:19,567 --> 00:30:20,567 they do. 575 00:30:26,157 --> 00:30:28,697 You know your girlfriend is over there talking to Franklin Volley? 576 00:30:28,785 --> 00:30:31,655 Everything is so compressed on digital, it's like drinking a frozen OJ 577 00:30:31,746 --> 00:30:33,326 instead of a fresh-squeezed OJ. 578 00:30:34,290 --> 00:30:38,130 Yeah, it's okay, we trust each other. I'm not really the jealous type. 579 00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:41,301 -How refreshing. -Well, I aim to refresh. 580 00:30:44,384 --> 00:30:46,144 -You're funny. -Me? 581 00:30:46,219 --> 00:30:49,139 Most guys I know don't realize they can be both rich and funny. 582 00:30:49,222 --> 00:30:51,772 Well, you can, I'm obviously living proof. 583 00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:00,396 Hey. 584 00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:03,282 They have a separate freezer for ice cream. 585 00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:05,321 I was alone in the kitchen and started to applaud. 586 00:31:05,405 --> 00:31:09,405 -Mm. -So, we have Boom Chocolotta 587 00:31:09,492 --> 00:31:10,702 and plain old vanilla. 588 00:31:10,785 --> 00:31:11,695 Oh, thank you. 589 00:31:13,079 --> 00:31:14,459 -Really? -Yo. 590 00:31:14,539 --> 00:31:16,709 Don't knock vanilla, okay? It's a... 591 00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:19,092 It seems a little boring, I give you that, 592 00:31:19,168 --> 00:31:21,668 but there's a lot of nuance flavors hiding inside. 593 00:31:21,754 --> 00:31:23,304 -Hm. -Mm. 594 00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:24,421 Kind of like you. 595 00:31:25,758 --> 00:31:28,388 -Wow, so I'm vanilla. -Yeah. 596 00:31:28,469 --> 00:31:31,639 Somehow you always manage to compliment and insult me at the same time. 597 00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:34,063 It's a hereditary gift, on my mom's side. 598 00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:36,687 Where's Franklin? 599 00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:40,269 Oh, he's somewhere. I don't really wanna see that much of him. 600 00:31:40,356 --> 00:31:42,186 -What? -Before our date. What? Franklin asked you out? That's great. 601 00:31:44,861 --> 00:31:46,361 No, actually, I asked him out, 602 00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:49,866 because I am the master of my universe, and yeah, it's pretty great. 603 00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:54,502 Oh, separate but related, it gives us a pretty good reason for our breakup. -I see your game, you meet someone new. -Hit it and quit it, baby. 604 00:31:59,626 --> 00:32:03,166 Okay, there's this huge birthday party that's supposed to happen in a few weeks, 605 00:32:03,254 --> 00:32:05,634 and everyone's gonna be there, including your girl, Shelby. 606 00:32:06,466 --> 00:32:09,546 Just the breakup has to be public, like very public. 607 00:32:09,636 --> 00:32:12,136 Can you imagine if I date Shelby and get into Yale? 608 00:32:12,221 --> 00:32:14,771 I mean, that would be it, that would be my dream come true. 609 00:32:14,849 --> 00:32:16,019 Oh, God, I feel bad for you. 610 00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:18,980 You're just relying on external factors for your happiness, 611 00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:22,322 waiting for people  to accept you instead of accepting yourself. 612 00:32:22,398 --> 00:32:23,978 I mean, what could go wrong? 613 00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:26,647 Isn't that exactly what you're doing with Franklin? 614 00:32:28,488 --> 00:32:30,408 -You're just jealous. -Of what? 615 00:32:30,490 --> 00:32:34,700 Um, my connection with Franklin. It's more cerebral. 616 00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:35,656 Please. 617 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,620 Like you're not at all interested in him 'cause he's hot. 618 00:32:38,706 --> 00:32:40,376 Whoa, his brain is hot, okay? 619 00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:43,248 I can just picture his gorgeous frontal lobe. 620 00:32:46,464 --> 00:32:48,934 -Gross. -Yeah, that was unintentionally gross. 621 00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:53,814 Fine, I like him because of his brains and, you know, 622 00:32:53,888 --> 00:32:55,468 the beautiful face that's attached to it. 623 00:32:55,556 --> 00:32:57,846 There you go, so we're both shallow teenagers. 624 00:32:57,934 --> 00:32:59,024 It would appear so. 625 00:33:00,103 --> 00:33:01,273 -You're really sweet. -Yeah. 626 00:33:01,354 --> 00:33:03,904 -Can I have some of that, please? -Whoa! No! No way. 627 00:33:08,528 --> 00:33:11,908 So, I might be able to help. My dad knows the president. 628 00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:14,120 -Of what country? -Of Yale. 629 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,620 Um, they've been playing poker, like forever, 630 00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:19,333 and I guess my dad's been losing to him for ten years, 631 00:33:19,414 --> 00:33:20,674 in case I ever wanted to go. 632 00:33:20,748 --> 00:33:22,958 So, the fact I don't wanna go is kind of a sore point. 633 00:33:23,042 --> 00:33:24,882 I don't get it, rich people all know each other. 634 00:33:24,961 --> 00:33:27,761 -I don't even know who my barber is. -Okay, do you want my help or not? 635 00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:29,049 Yes. A hundred times, yes. 636 00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:31,512 Well, no promises, but I can check with him. 637 00:33:32,051 --> 00:33:33,761 What? Are you serious? Wow. 638 00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:37,097 Thank you. All I got for you is wow. 639 00:33:37,181 --> 00:33:38,681 Well, I'm a woman of much wow. 640 00:33:38,766 --> 00:33:41,226 Hey, man, I'll give you 50 bucks for your car. 641 00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:46,232 -Oh, you think that's funny? -Yeah, I do. 642 00:33:49,068 --> 00:33:50,448 -Hey. -Hey. 643 00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:51,525 Whoa. 644 00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:52,856 What's with the get-up? 645 00:33:53,239 --> 00:33:57,369 Uh, I figured if I'm going to Yale, I'd better start stepping it up. 646 00:33:57,452 --> 00:34:00,252 Hey, what's going on with all the late nights lately? 647 00:34:00,329 --> 00:34:05,879 Uh, you know, the usual teenage stuff, school projects, dances, 24-hour raves. 648 00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,550 Hm. Atta boy. 649 00:34:07,628 --> 00:34:10,918 Do you think you could clean up one day? I mean, it's starting to look a little... 650 00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:13,126 condemned in here. 651 00:34:13,217 --> 00:34:14,387 I'm gonna get to it. 652 00:34:14,469 --> 00:34:16,259 I could help you, if you want. 653 00:34:16,345 --> 00:34:17,385 I think I do. 654 00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:20,099 And actually, you have helped. 655 00:34:20,183 --> 00:34:22,813 I submitted a collection of my short stories of this fellowship, 656 00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:25,944 because you were so terribly and vividly mean to me. 657 00:34:26,522 --> 00:34:28,612 So, thank you for being a supportive 658 00:34:29,108 --> 00:34:30,108 asshole. 659 00:34:31,110 --> 00:34:31,940 Anytime. 660 00:34:33,988 --> 00:34:35,698 -Good night, Pops. -Good night, buddy. 661 00:34:43,414 --> 00:34:46,504 Hey, look, little Brooks is almost a third of the way to his goal. 662 00:34:46,584 --> 00:34:50,134 If I keep getting business like this, I'm gonna be at little Yale by the summertime. 663 00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:52,670 That's great, man. Really. 664 00:34:53,299 --> 00:34:54,379 What is that? What... 665 00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:56,339 You seem distant. 666 00:34:57,053 --> 00:34:59,723 Well, I guess I am. 667 00:35:00,306 --> 00:35:03,726 We just usually have stuff to talk about, because we spend time together, 668 00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:05,190 or we used to. 669 00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:08,859 So, distance is making us distant, which makes sense to me. 670 00:35:10,608 --> 00:35:11,478 Huh. 671 00:35:11,818 --> 00:35:14,568 But it's fine, really. We're gonna grow apart when we go to college, 672 00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:16,704 so we might as well get the process started now. 673 00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:19,369 Okay, well, 674 00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:20,700 how about this? 675 00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:22,535 I'm totally booked out tonight and tomorrow, 676 00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:25,960 but I am completely free on Saturday and I will make sure it stays that way, 677 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:27,920 if you promise to go to Tino's with me. 678 00:35:29,001 --> 00:35:29,921 Count me in. 679 00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:33,053 Oh, hey, can we hit that new zombie-themed escape room afterwards? 680 00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:34,261 Yes, I am in. 681 00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:35,170 All right. 682 00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:37,260 Hello again. 683 00:35:37,343 --> 00:35:40,053 -Hey, I'll take a-- -Tuna melt on seven grain. 684 00:35:40,138 --> 00:35:40,968 Yeah. 685 00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:44,349 -Uh, thanks. -Murph is my given name. 686 00:35:45,017 --> 00:35:46,937 Oh, I guess I gotta give you this. 687 00:35:47,019 --> 00:35:49,559 I just remembered that this is when you usually come by. 688 00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:52,437 -Yeah. -We get paid a dollar above minimum wage, 689 00:35:52,525 --> 00:35:55,105 so we're encouraged to provide top service. 690 00:35:55,194 --> 00:35:58,494 Uh, well, thanks, Murph. 691 00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:04,869 -What? -You were blushing. 692 00:36:04,954 --> 00:36:07,004 Who is that? Huh? 693 00:36:07,081 --> 00:36:09,921 Hey, yo, I work at White Castle, okay? You know what that means, 694 00:36:10,001 --> 00:36:12,461 I see some of the finest bitches in the world every damn day, 695 00:36:12,962 --> 00:36:17,052 and, Pops, I gotta tell you with the utmost respect, 696 00:36:17,508 --> 00:36:18,468 your daughter, 697 00:36:18,551 --> 00:36:22,601 she's got to be one of the finest bitches I have ever seen in my entire life, 698 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,310 and I've been to the Westminster Dog Show, okay? All right. 699 00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:32,398 I have to take the browns to the Super Bowl, 700 00:36:32,481 --> 00:36:34,781 and by that I mean I gotta take a hot deuce, right? 701 00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:36,399 Daddy-o, where the bathroom at? 702 00:36:36,777 --> 00:36:38,737 It's down the hall on the left. 703 00:36:38,821 --> 00:36:39,661 Ooph. 704 00:36:41,574 --> 00:36:42,704 I love you, baby. 705 00:36:47,121 --> 00:36:48,211 Hey, Celia. 706 00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:50,169 What's up, Vanilla? What are you up to? 707 00:36:50,249 --> 00:36:52,879 I'm getting paid to be a douche to a girl's parents, 708 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,050 so that they're more accepting of her real boyfriend when they actually meet him. 709 00:36:56,130 --> 00:36:58,090 Um, parents have it hard. 710 00:36:58,674 --> 00:37:00,934 What are you doing tomorrow? Like early afternoonish? 711 00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:04,100 What, for my best customer? I'm totally free. Why, what's up? 712 00:37:04,430 --> 00:37:05,680 I may have got you an interview 713 00:37:05,765 --> 00:37:08,475 with the Dean of Undergraduate Admissions at Yale. 714 00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:10,389 Oh, my God, Celia, I don't know what to say. 715 00:37:10,478 --> 00:37:11,728 Well, why don't you try? 716 00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:15,192 Celia Lieberman, you make flowers blossom. 717 00:37:15,274 --> 00:37:17,994 You are the reason trees have leaves. 718 00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:20,323 You are a goddess. 719 00:37:20,404 --> 00:37:23,244 Aw! That is absolutely correct. 720 00:37:23,324 --> 00:37:25,794 -What time should I pick you up? -You shouldn't. 721 00:37:25,868 --> 00:37:28,698 This is your day, but it's my rules, so I'm gonna pick you up at one. 722 00:37:29,622 --> 00:37:31,082 I'll text you my address. 723 00:37:31,624 --> 00:37:32,754 Bye. 724 00:37:45,763 --> 00:37:48,683 Woo hoo! Yo, man, that number two turned to a number five real quick. 725 00:37:48,766 --> 00:37:49,976 Where the plunger at? 726 00:38:00,361 --> 00:38:02,991 What? I'm trying to look smart. Do I look too smart? 727 00:38:03,656 --> 00:38:05,776 It looks like someone took a J. Crew store, 728 00:38:05,866 --> 00:38:07,946 put it in a cannon and shot it at your face. 729 00:38:08,035 --> 00:38:10,155 Thank you, so much. I mean, what do I do? 730 00:38:10,246 --> 00:38:11,326 I don't understand clothes. 731 00:38:11,414 --> 00:38:13,504 They're completely irrelevant yet somehow important. 732 00:38:13,582 --> 00:38:14,712 Lose the glasses. 733 00:38:14,792 --> 00:38:16,922 Go on, give it to me. Okay, that's better. 734 00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:19,633 Do you need the cardigan? I'm gonna answer that. You don't need it. 735 00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:21,264 -I like the cardigan. -No one likes it. 736 00:38:21,340 --> 00:38:24,550 -Intellectual people wear cardigans. -You do not look intellectual. 737 00:38:24,635 --> 00:38:26,345 For the love of God, come on. 738 00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:30,638 Oh, you know, what you do need though, you need a mani. 739 00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:33,057 That is a fight for another day, my friend. 740 00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:36,564 Wow, who would have thought that Celia Lieberman could be so comforting? 741 00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:39,897 It's like underneath all these layers of angst and sarcasm, 742 00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,904 there might actually be a human being. 743 00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:46,163 Oh. 744 00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:49,411 Thank you. 745 00:38:52,204 --> 00:38:53,164 You're welcome. 746 00:38:59,128 --> 00:39:01,128 ♪ I live my own life ♪ 747 00:39:01,255 --> 00:39:03,125 ♪ Tie me to the tracks ♪ 748 00:39:03,215 --> 00:39:05,505 ♪ I let my best friend tell me ♪ 749 00:39:05,593 --> 00:39:07,723 ♪ You can never go back ♪ 750 00:39:09,263 --> 00:39:14,313 ♪ I spent my long years Learning to get out of the way ♪ 751 00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:20,819 ♪ Follow the path to ♪ 752 00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:25,200 ♪ Lead me to the light But when your load gets heavy ♪ 753 00:39:25,279 --> 00:39:27,569 ♪ Maybe call it a night ♪ 754 00:39:28,449 --> 00:39:33,869 ♪ Roll it around and take it from the bottom again ♪ 755 00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:41,341 Hey, relax. 756 00:39:41,420 --> 00:39:43,090 All you gotta do is be yourself. 757 00:39:43,923 --> 00:39:47,223 I mean, not this annoying, anxious version, 758 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:48,720 the better version. 759 00:39:50,179 --> 00:39:55,059 I have been an astronaut, a cowboy and a douche, all in the past three days, 760 00:39:55,142 --> 00:39:57,942 so I don't know which version of myself I'm supposed to be right now. 761 00:39:58,020 --> 00:39:58,900 Brooks Rattigan. 762 00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:01,017 Dean's ready for you now. 763 00:40:04,985 --> 00:40:05,815 -Hi. -Hi. 764 00:40:06,529 --> 00:40:07,659 - Hey. -Yeah? 765 00:40:08,197 --> 00:40:09,447 You're gonna kill it. 766 00:40:10,699 --> 00:40:11,529 You know, 767 00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:13,411 unless you don't. 768 00:40:21,627 --> 00:40:23,417 Mr. Rattigan, a pleasure to meet you. 769 00:40:23,504 --> 00:40:25,214 -Take a seat. -Yes, sure. 770 00:40:26,882 --> 00:40:30,592 So, tell me about yourself. 771 00:40:30,970 --> 00:40:32,300 Yeah, I'd love to. 772 00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:35,138 What says more about a person than numbers, right? 773 00:40:35,724 --> 00:40:38,234 So, the first time I took the SAT I got a 1510, 774 00:40:38,310 --> 00:40:40,980 and that was because I butchered the math section, but 775 00:40:41,063 --> 00:40:44,113 I knuckled down, and I put work over parties, 776 00:40:44,692 --> 00:40:47,902 and I managed to bump it up to a 1570 on my second time around. 777 00:40:48,571 --> 00:40:49,861 That's too bad. I'm sorry? 778 00:40:52,408 --> 00:40:55,288 Well, that you missed out on parties. Parties are fun. 779 00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:58,790 It's important to enjoy life, especially at your age. 780 00:40:58,873 --> 00:41:03,503 With respect, it's not exactly the message that we get from our parents and teachers. 781 00:41:03,586 --> 00:41:05,046 I grant you that, yeah. 782 00:41:05,921 --> 00:41:06,761 Well... 783 00:41:07,047 --> 00:41:10,627 Mr. Rattigan, academically speaking, you seem like the perfect candidate for Yale. 784 00:41:11,177 --> 00:41:13,097 Thank you, sir. Coming from you that means a lot. 785 00:41:13,179 --> 00:41:15,889 But I want to know a little something about you. 786 00:41:15,973 --> 00:41:18,603 Tell me something about yourself, activities, hobbies. 787 00:41:18,684 --> 00:41:22,864 Sure, well I'm in French Club, I'm a National Honors Society, and-- 788 00:41:22,938 --> 00:41:23,768 No. 789 00:41:24,398 --> 00:41:26,688 No, I don't mean the things that you do, 790 00:41:26,775 --> 00:41:28,985 because you think they look good on an application. 791 00:41:29,069 --> 00:41:32,239 What are some of your interests outside of school? 792 00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:33,873 Outside of school? 793 00:41:33,949 --> 00:41:37,539 Example, I had a kid in here yesterday, right there, 794 00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:41,500 and he breeds trash-eating microbes in his spare time. 795 00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:43,831 It's fascinating stuff. 796 00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:48,380 I don't... breed trash-eating microbes. 797 00:41:48,464 --> 00:41:52,054 I don't really breed microbes at all, but I do have hobbies, 798 00:41:52,218 --> 00:41:55,098 and interests. I mean, so many of those. 799 00:41:58,307 --> 00:42:03,147 There is this thing, but I think you'll find it stupid. 800 00:42:03,229 --> 00:42:04,899 No, what? What is it? 801 00:42:04,980 --> 00:42:06,980 Well lately, I've been getting into 802 00:42:08,609 --> 00:42:09,859 honey bees. 803 00:42:11,195 --> 00:42:12,195 I don't... 804 00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:13,987 I'm sorry, 805 00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:16,533 did you just say, "Honey bees?" 806 00:42:16,617 --> 00:42:17,537 Yeah. 807 00:42:17,618 --> 00:42:20,118 Yeah, I'm a bit of an amateur beekeeper. 808 00:42:20,204 --> 00:42:23,754 -I know, it sounds silly. -No, it doesn't sound silly at all, to me. 809 00:42:24,959 --> 00:42:26,919 I'm a bit of an apiarist myself. 810 00:42:27,503 --> 00:42:30,013 -No kidding. -Yes. 811 00:42:30,589 --> 00:42:32,629 Wow, what a small world. 812 00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:34,337 Tell me, what's your bee of choice? 813 00:42:34,426 --> 00:42:36,046 I used to be all about the Russian bees, 814 00:42:36,470 --> 00:42:40,100 but then I found that their swarminess tended to be a little too-- 815 00:42:40,182 --> 00:42:41,182 Unpredictable. 816 00:42:41,267 --> 00:42:44,557 Unpredictable, that's right. So, now I'm a Buckfast man all the way. 817 00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:47,395 -They have so much more foraging zeal. -Yes. 818 00:42:47,940 --> 00:42:53,700 Uh, and, you know, don't get me started on their resistance to tracheal mites. 819 00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:55,860 Huh. 820 00:42:56,198 --> 00:42:57,658 Tracheal mites. 821 00:42:58,784 --> 00:43:01,914 As soon as you get that application done, you bring it into me personally, okay? 822 00:43:01,996 --> 00:43:03,406 -Not my secretary. -I will, sir. 823 00:43:03,497 --> 00:43:05,207 -Sir, call me Delbert, please. -Okay. 824 00:43:05,291 --> 00:43:07,881 And when you come by, don't forget to bring a jar of your honey. 825 00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:09,590 As long as you bring a jar of your honey, we can have ourselves a little honey swap. 826 00:43:11,672 --> 00:43:13,012 Honey swap. 827 00:43:13,090 --> 00:43:14,300 I love it. 828 00:43:14,383 --> 00:43:17,223 It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Rattigan, truly. 829 00:43:17,303 --> 00:43:18,893 The pleasure was mine, Delbert. 830 00:43:24,518 --> 00:43:28,308 Thank you so much for setting this up. It went better than I could have imagined it. 831 00:43:28,397 --> 00:43:30,227 Well, happy to help. Just... 832 00:43:30,899 --> 00:43:32,859 just one little tiny question. 833 00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:36,034 Why exactly are you guys swapping honey? 834 00:43:38,157 --> 00:43:39,367 What, is that unusual? 835 00:43:40,576 --> 00:43:41,536 I can't believe you. 836 00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:43,659 What? I did some research before my interview, okay? 837 00:43:43,746 --> 00:43:46,956 Hold on a second. What is the difference between me spouting a few beekeeping facts 838 00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:49,711 and any of the Stand-In dates that I've been on? Huh? 839 00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:52,463 You know that I'm not an art historian or a douche, right? 840 00:43:52,546 --> 00:43:55,876 No, actually I don't know that, and this is completely different. 841 00:43:55,966 --> 00:43:59,386 Those girls paid you to lie to them, and this time you did it all on your own. 842 00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:02,060 Look, it is hustle, baby, pure hustle. 843 00:44:02,139 --> 00:44:03,809 Oh, God, please don't ever say that again. 844 00:44:03,891 --> 00:44:06,601 It did sound a little bit better coming out of Reece's mouth. 845 00:44:06,685 --> 00:44:09,645 Wait, Reece? My cousin, Reece? What does he know about hustle? 846 00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:10,900 It's how he got his BMW. 847 00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:13,981 Brooks, Reece got his car because his dad started having an affair 848 00:44:14,068 --> 00:44:16,818 with his sister's JV tennis coach, and his mom found out about it, 849 00:44:16,904 --> 00:44:19,744 so she starts sleeping with the dude who owns a bunch of BMW dealerships, 850 00:44:19,823 --> 00:44:21,533 hence the BMW. 851 00:44:22,785 --> 00:44:24,615 -What, so no hustle? -No. 852 00:44:24,703 --> 00:44:25,953 You're telling me 853 00:44:26,288 --> 00:44:29,038 that Reece got a brand new BMW i8, because 854 00:44:29,958 --> 00:44:31,458 his parents are shitty people? 855 00:44:31,543 --> 00:44:34,673 Yeah. So, maybe you should rethink who your role models are. 856 00:44:37,591 --> 00:44:40,341 -What about Shelby and Franklin? -What about Shelby and Franklin? 857 00:44:40,427 --> 00:44:43,847 You don't know the first thing about vinyl, and I am certainly not from Darien. 858 00:44:44,348 --> 00:44:48,348 Okay? These are the lies that both of us made up to get what we want. 859 00:44:52,648 --> 00:44:53,728 Hmm. 860 00:44:53,816 --> 00:44:58,606 Storming off, fantastic. That's what people who're right and not hypocrites do. 861 00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:00,776 Speak more words and I'll hurt you. 862 00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:14,836 -Maybe you're right. -About which thing? There were a couple. 863 00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:17,010 Maybe I am a hypocrite, okay? 864 00:45:20,342 --> 00:45:22,762 My parents say that I stomp around 865 00:45:23,137 --> 00:45:24,597 in my boots looking tough... 866 00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:27,350 to push people away, 867 00:45:28,016 --> 00:45:29,016 because 868 00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:34,356 I'm too scared to show people who I really am. 869 00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:40,900 Oh, God, if anyone actually heard me saying this. 870 00:45:45,325 --> 00:45:48,115 -Yeah, you know what I mean. -You're gonna be fine, okay? 871 00:45:48,203 --> 00:45:49,873 You are Celia Lieberman. 872 00:45:49,955 --> 00:45:53,745 And being weird and confident are not mutually exclusive elements to life. 873 00:45:53,834 --> 00:45:55,594 You happen to be a master of both of them. 874 00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:58,300 -Do you really mean that? -Yes. 875 00:46:01,008 --> 00:46:02,588 -Thanks. -You are welcome. 876 00:46:04,470 --> 00:46:06,810 So, I can Brooks' house from across the street, 877 00:46:06,889 --> 00:46:09,349 and sitting beside the outgoing mailbox, 878 00:46:09,433 --> 00:46:11,353 there's this big flimsy cardboard box, 879 00:46:11,435 --> 00:46:16,015 with like 20 postage stamps stuck to it and just one word written across the top, 880 00:46:16,106 --> 00:46:17,146 Idaho. 881 00:46:17,232 --> 00:46:20,742 So, the mailman picks it up, and immediately the box gives out, 882 00:46:20,819 --> 00:46:24,239 and little six-year-old Brooks slips out the bottom, 883 00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:25,873 and hits the pavement like, "Bam!" 884 00:46:26,492 --> 00:46:29,202 I'm hiding across the street watching it all, like... 885 00:46:30,037 --> 00:46:34,367 -Just laughing my ass off. -Okay, wait, so what did you do? 886 00:46:34,458 --> 00:46:37,628 I mean the only thing that I could do is "Good afternoon, Mr. Postman," 887 00:46:37,711 --> 00:46:40,051 and I grabbed my backpack and went back inside my house. 888 00:46:40,672 --> 00:46:43,472 I can't believe you tried to mail yourself to Idaho. 889 00:46:43,550 --> 00:46:45,930 -Thanks, Brooks. -Thank you so much. I got this. 890 00:46:46,011 --> 00:46:47,431 -Thank you. -Yeah, of course. 891 00:46:47,513 --> 00:46:49,433 -Nice guy. -Fancy man. 892 00:46:51,809 --> 00:46:54,769 Okay, so of all places, why Idaho? 893 00:46:55,854 --> 00:46:57,444 It's where his mom lives. 894 00:46:57,523 --> 00:47:00,903 Yeah, she's married to some rich pediatrician 895 00:47:00,984 --> 00:47:04,664 or rich plastic surgeon, rich pediatric plastic surgeon. 896 00:47:05,322 --> 00:47:07,072 And they have two kids together 897 00:47:08,492 --> 00:47:10,952 and every year they send Brooks and his dad a Christmas card 898 00:47:11,578 --> 00:47:13,958 with a picture of her whole new family. 899 00:47:14,873 --> 00:47:17,133 You know, which to me, seems totally screwed up. 900 00:47:24,216 --> 00:47:25,376 See you, Tino! 901 00:47:25,509 --> 00:47:26,389 Tino! 902 00:47:31,265 --> 00:47:33,475 -Was that tuna melt on seven grain? -If only. 903 00:47:33,767 --> 00:47:37,187 -Uh? Tuna melt on seven grain? -It's nothing. 904 00:47:37,271 --> 00:47:40,821 Murph here has a little crush on one of the Sub shop regulars. 905 00:47:40,899 --> 00:47:42,939 We don't know his name, so we call him by his order. 906 00:47:43,026 --> 00:47:44,566 He hasn't been in the shop for a week. 907 00:47:44,653 --> 00:47:47,323 I think I scared him off by pre-making his sandwich. 908 00:47:47,406 --> 00:47:49,316 Aw, you pre-made his sandwich? 909 00:47:49,408 --> 00:47:51,788 -That is adorable. -Listen, you're gonna be fine. 910 00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:53,369 He'll show up, and if not, 911 00:47:53,620 --> 00:47:54,790 who cares, right? 912 00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:58,832 You are going to find the right sandwich one day, my friend. 913 00:47:58,917 --> 00:48:00,627 That is the lamest thing you've ever said. 914 00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:03,761 -Yeah, but you're laughing, aren't you? -Get away from me, get away. 915 00:48:03,839 --> 00:48:06,339 I'm glad someone's getting something out of my dating life. 916 00:48:06,425 --> 00:48:07,335 Yeah. 917 00:48:08,343 --> 00:48:12,393 All right, Godspeed to you on your date tonight. 918 00:48:13,515 --> 00:48:14,385 Are you ready to 919 00:48:15,017 --> 00:48:16,227 get some zombies? 920 00:48:17,936 --> 00:48:18,806 I am. 921 00:48:20,689 --> 00:48:22,189 But you seem unenthusiastic. 922 00:48:22,691 --> 00:48:25,441 No, man. I got a request while we were eating. 923 00:48:25,527 --> 00:48:26,357 Take it. 924 00:48:26,445 --> 00:48:27,605 What? Are you serious? 925 00:48:27,696 --> 00:48:28,566 Really. 926 00:48:28,989 --> 00:48:31,529 All right, thank you. You're a really good friend. 927 00:48:31,617 --> 00:48:33,117 Hey, good to meet you. 928 00:48:33,201 --> 00:48:34,291 Yeah, you too. 929 00:48:41,668 --> 00:48:43,588 -It was what? -It was, it was… 930 00:48:50,218 --> 00:48:52,638 - Your insurance must be so high. - Yeah. 931 00:48:55,474 --> 00:48:56,484 You know what? 932 00:48:56,558 --> 00:48:59,728 Does the master have any advice for me, for my big date? 933 00:48:59,811 --> 00:49:01,311 Yeah, I do actually. -Good. -Don't dance. 934 00:49:03,523 --> 00:49:07,533 -That is so offensive. Get out of my car. -I was just trying to help you. 935 00:49:07,611 --> 00:49:09,661 You know, today was horrible 936 00:49:10,447 --> 00:49:11,527 until it wasn't. 937 00:49:12,824 --> 00:49:13,704 I agree. 938 00:49:15,035 --> 00:49:19,035 Do me a favor, would you have fun tonight? Seriously, you're gonna dazzle him. 939 00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:22,375 Unless you don't. 940 00:49:23,126 --> 00:49:24,876 Get out of my car. 941 00:49:25,420 --> 00:49:27,210 -I will drive off. -Okay. 942 00:49:27,673 --> 00:49:29,763 -Right now. -I'm out. Have a good night. 943 00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:34,550 The truth about coffee, 944 00:49:35,722 --> 00:49:37,102 it's all in the grind. 945 00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:40,268 It has to be precise or the water, 946 00:49:40,352 --> 00:49:43,772 it seeps through the filter too quickly, and you end up with a weak-ass brew. 947 00:49:45,065 --> 00:49:47,725 Wow, you know a lot about coffee. 948 00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:49,698 Pour Over is an art form. 949 00:49:49,778 --> 00:49:52,198 It's not like that overly processed swill you've got. 950 00:49:53,198 --> 00:49:56,118 I don't know, I kind of like my overly processed swill. 951 00:49:56,535 --> 00:49:57,735 I'm sorry. 952 00:49:59,454 --> 00:50:02,084 I didn't mean to insult you. I ramble when I'm nervous. 953 00:50:02,749 --> 00:50:04,539 Wait, did you just say you're nervous? 954 00:50:04,626 --> 00:50:06,166 -Of course I am. -Why? 955 00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:10,013 I don't know if this is a date or not, because you have a boyfriend. 956 00:50:10,090 --> 00:50:11,760 Oh, Brooks is not... 957 00:50:12,300 --> 00:50:15,510 Um, he is my boyfriend, and we are dating hard. 958 00:50:15,595 --> 00:50:18,715 We're dating hard, but, you know, we have, um, 959 00:50:20,058 --> 00:50:23,898 one of those advanced modern relationships. 960 00:50:23,979 --> 00:50:25,559 We don't belong to anyone. 961 00:50:25,647 --> 00:50:28,187 I watched this Nat Geo doc about dung beetles, 962 00:50:28,275 --> 00:50:32,065 how they find their mates by analyzing the movements of a prospective mate's wings, 963 00:50:32,487 --> 00:50:36,987 and if they move in the same specific way, they know they found their mate. 964 00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:40,905 Watching you and Brooks, you move the same, 965 00:50:41,246 --> 00:50:43,576 like a couple of adorable dung beetles. 966 00:50:46,168 --> 00:50:47,128 Well, 967 00:50:48,086 --> 00:50:50,456 we're not shit-eating beetles, though. 968 00:50:52,299 --> 00:50:55,969 We're actually gonna be breaking up very soon. In fact, very soon. 969 00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:57,103 -Okay. -Um-hmm. 970 00:50:57,929 --> 00:50:59,059 So, I'm encouraged. 971 00:50:59,973 --> 00:51:01,893 -Oh, hi. -Hey. 972 00:51:03,226 --> 00:51:06,146 So, you're into vinyl, 973 00:51:07,105 --> 00:51:09,815 and you're obviously very passionate about coffee. 974 00:51:10,108 --> 00:51:11,398 What else are you into? 975 00:51:12,027 --> 00:51:15,527 I'm passionate about a lot of things, most of all, my art. 976 00:51:16,198 --> 00:51:18,028 That's cool, I like art. 977 00:51:18,116 --> 00:51:20,286 -What's your medium? -The street. 978 00:51:21,620 --> 00:51:22,450 No. 979 00:51:22,537 --> 00:51:26,207 Actually, you may have seen some of my stuff, like, around town. 980 00:51:27,042 --> 00:51:27,962 What? 981 00:51:30,462 --> 00:51:31,672 -Oh. - I'm-- 982 00:51:31,755 --> 00:51:32,625 Don't say it. 983 00:51:33,173 --> 00:51:34,513 I'm Trashbug. 984 00:51:35,926 --> 00:51:36,926 You said it. 985 00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:39,054 You said who you are. 986 00:51:39,137 --> 00:51:40,807 -Are you familiar with my work? -Uh-huh. 987 00:51:40,889 --> 00:51:43,559 Okay, you know how I did like a baby in a gas mask, 988 00:51:43,642 --> 00:51:45,482 and I did like an old man in gas mask. 989 00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:46,480 Oh, yeah. 990 00:51:46,561 --> 00:51:50,151 Right now, I'm working on something that is going to blow those away. 991 00:51:50,857 --> 00:51:52,437 A cat in a gas mask. 992 00:51:53,860 --> 00:51:57,530 It's a commentary on itself and on Dr. Seuss. I mean, cats don't wear hats. 993 00:51:58,990 --> 00:52:00,120 That is 994 00:52:01,660 --> 00:52:03,580 a very creative idea. 995 00:52:14,172 --> 00:52:15,092 Dude, 996 00:52:15,173 --> 00:52:18,343 Saturday night was insane. I just can't tell if it was in a good or bad way. 997 00:52:18,426 --> 00:52:22,596 You think high school parties are crazy, they have got nothing on office parties. 998 00:52:22,681 --> 00:52:25,351 I saw a drunk guy snort a line of printer toner. 999 00:52:28,103 --> 00:52:30,193 Thanks again for letting me off the hook. 1000 00:52:31,565 --> 00:52:34,275 Wow, what a great image of our friendship. 1001 00:52:34,359 --> 00:52:35,739 I'm a fisherman, 1002 00:52:35,819 --> 00:52:38,239 reeling you in against your will to your death. 1003 00:52:38,321 --> 00:52:40,781 That's not how I meant it. How was your night? 1004 00:52:40,866 --> 00:52:44,536 I was alone, so I got paired with this group of drunk Germans. 1005 00:52:44,619 --> 00:52:46,449 They didn't speak a word of English, 1006 00:52:46,538 --> 00:52:49,578 so I wasn't included in any of the puzzle solving, and to top if all off, 1007 00:52:49,666 --> 00:52:51,996 a zombie, it got me in like the first ten minutes. 1008 00:52:52,419 --> 00:52:54,879 -The zombie actually bit you? -No. 1009 00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:56,884 One of the Germans did. 1010 00:53:01,636 --> 00:53:04,306 It's not funny, sorry, just... 1011 00:53:06,641 --> 00:53:09,691 It is a little funny. It's funny, if you think it's funny too. 1012 00:53:09,769 --> 00:53:11,059 But only if you... 1013 00:53:11,605 --> 00:53:13,395 -It's funny. Come on. -I gotta go to class. 1014 00:53:13,481 --> 00:53:14,321 Murph. 1015 00:53:17,527 --> 00:53:18,697 Murph. 1016 00:53:23,825 --> 00:53:26,405 -Hey. -No, you do not talk, I do the talking. 1017 00:53:26,494 --> 00:53:27,334 Excuse me? 1018 00:53:27,412 --> 00:53:28,372 I trusted you, 1019 00:53:28,455 --> 00:53:31,625 Celia, and you chewed up that trust and you spit it in my face. 1020 00:53:31,708 --> 00:53:36,298 -Okay, what the hell is going on? -I'm practicing for the big show. 1021 00:53:36,379 --> 00:53:39,549 -Come on, did you forget? -Oh, yeah, our breakup. 1022 00:53:40,008 --> 00:53:44,098 So, I'm thinking that Shelby and Franklin need to be there when it happens, 1023 00:53:44,179 --> 00:53:45,469 so when we go off on our own, 1024 00:53:45,555 --> 00:53:47,095 they're gonna wanna console us. 1025 00:53:47,182 --> 00:53:50,312 Oh, shit, I almost forgot to ask you, how did your date go? 1026 00:53:53,730 --> 00:53:54,610 Well, 1027 00:53:55,482 --> 00:53:56,902 it was the... 1028 00:53:57,108 --> 00:53:59,028 start of something great. 1029 00:53:59,110 --> 00:54:00,150 I, for one, 1030 00:54:00,237 --> 00:54:01,777 am super happy for you. 1031 00:54:01,863 --> 00:54:03,823 I am also happy for me 1032 00:54:04,157 --> 00:54:05,027 too. 1033 00:54:05,533 --> 00:54:07,373 -Yay. -Okay. 1034 00:54:07,452 --> 00:54:09,252 Dope, see ya. 1035 00:54:09,871 --> 00:54:11,121 Yeah, I'll see you later. 1036 00:54:25,804 --> 00:54:27,014 I don't know. 1037 00:54:27,097 --> 00:54:28,177 You don't know what? 1038 00:54:29,182 --> 00:54:31,392 It doesn't really feel like me. 1039 00:54:32,769 --> 00:54:33,979 You look incredible. 1040 00:54:36,731 --> 00:54:42,111 ♪ You hold my hand And tell me it's fine ♪ 1041 00:54:42,737 --> 00:54:48,027 ♪ It's getting rough But we're still alive ♪ 1042 00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:52,160 ♪ You hold me close Your hair against mine ♪ 1043 00:54:52,706 --> 00:54:53,666 -Hi. -Hi. 1044 00:54:54,249 --> 00:54:55,419 -All set? -Yeah. 1045 00:54:58,169 --> 00:54:59,049 Dressed to kill. 1046 00:55:02,173 --> 00:55:03,303 Nice. 1047 00:55:03,717 --> 00:55:05,757 You know, to kill our fake love. 1048 00:55:06,219 --> 00:55:07,349 Good, that's good. Tight dress. 1049 00:55:11,474 --> 00:55:13,894 -High heels. -Cool. 1050 00:55:16,146 --> 00:55:18,056 A live python around my neck. 1051 00:55:18,148 --> 00:55:20,648 Sorry, I'm just trying to figure out what I'm gonna say tonight. 1052 00:55:20,734 --> 00:55:22,194 You're writing a breakup script? 1053 00:55:22,277 --> 00:55:24,947 Not a breakup script, more like breakup bullet points. 1054 00:55:25,864 --> 00:55:26,824 Oh, wow. 1055 00:55:27,657 --> 00:55:29,277 Celia, you look great. 1056 00:55:29,367 --> 00:55:30,197 Thanks. 1057 00:55:31,661 --> 00:55:32,581 Where's the snake? 1058 00:55:32,662 --> 00:55:33,542 Ha. 1059 00:55:33,955 --> 00:55:35,535 -What's the plan? -Right. 1060 00:55:35,623 --> 00:55:37,753 Um, so I was thinking 1061 00:55:38,710 --> 00:55:39,960 you're gonna go in first. 1062 00:55:41,504 --> 00:55:44,094 You walk around, mingle a bit, do your thing. 1063 00:55:45,633 --> 00:55:50,063 Then, at exactly eight o'clock, you strike up a conversation with Franklin. 1064 00:55:50,430 --> 00:55:53,220 It'll play better if it seems like I'm catching you in the act. 1065 00:55:53,308 --> 00:55:56,688 You can put a gas mask on anything and have a real impact on people, 1066 00:55:56,770 --> 00:55:59,360 like Thomas Jefferson, Mr. Rogers, 1067 00:56:00,106 --> 00:56:00,936 the Pope. 1068 00:56:01,649 --> 00:56:02,529 Huh? 1069 00:56:02,817 --> 00:56:03,647 The Pope. 1070 00:56:04,277 --> 00:56:07,317 That is brilliant. I gotta jot that down. 1071 00:56:07,989 --> 00:56:11,489 You know that story about the guy who has to push a boulder up a hill? 1072 00:56:11,701 --> 00:56:13,791 Every time it gets to the top it rolls back down 1073 00:56:13,870 --> 00:56:15,710 and he has to start all over again. 1074 00:56:16,456 --> 00:56:18,246 That's what talking to you is like. 1075 00:56:19,376 --> 00:56:20,286 Thank you. 1076 00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:22,497 So, you're saying I'm like Sisyphus? 1077 00:56:23,213 --> 00:56:24,553 Oh, my God! 1078 00:56:25,006 --> 00:56:27,216 You have a lot of nerve showing up here with him! 1079 00:56:27,634 --> 00:56:28,514 Okay. 1080 00:56:30,595 --> 00:56:33,845 -What are you talking about? -You know exactly what I'm talking about. 1081 00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:36,562 -I heard about your little date. -It was just coffee. 1082 00:56:36,643 --> 00:56:40,313 Please, to quote the great George Costanza, "Coffee is not coffee," 1083 00:56:40,397 --> 00:56:42,517 coffee is sex. 1084 00:56:42,690 --> 00:56:44,030 Coffee is better than sex. 1085 00:56:44,567 --> 00:56:46,607 Especially from the rare Kopi Luwak bean. 1086 00:56:47,779 --> 00:56:49,859 You think you're so much better than me, Celia? 1087 00:56:49,948 --> 00:56:51,738 Better than everyone here, but I know the truth. 1088 00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:53,580 You're nothing but a hypocrite. 1089 00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:54,990 A fake. 1090 00:56:55,078 --> 00:56:58,418 -Hold on a second. -So you stomp around in those boots, 1091 00:56:58,498 --> 00:57:01,078 and you act so tough, but that's all it is. 1092 00:57:01,709 --> 00:57:04,089 -It's just an act. -Brooks, please don't do this. 1093 00:57:04,170 --> 00:57:06,840 A defense mechanism, see it's a poor attempt 1094 00:57:07,215 --> 00:57:08,585 at pushing people away. 1095 00:57:08,675 --> 00:57:10,965 You're afraid that if somebody got too close to you, 1096 00:57:11,052 --> 00:57:12,642 they might actually find out the truth. That Celia Lieberman, 1097 00:57:14,931 --> 00:57:15,851 she's boring. 1098 00:57:17,517 --> 00:57:20,517 You wanna push me away? Go ahead, cos we're through, baby. 1099 00:57:20,603 --> 00:57:22,023 We are done, we are-- 1100 00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:27,065 How's that for a defense mechanism? 1101 00:57:29,863 --> 00:57:31,573 God, I hate these shoes. 1102 00:57:32,949 --> 00:57:33,779 Celia. 1103 00:57:37,287 --> 00:57:39,207 Celia! My dung beetle. 1104 00:57:59,476 --> 00:58:00,306 Brooks. 1105 00:58:03,354 --> 00:58:06,194 -Hey, are you good? -Yeah, I'm fine. 1106 00:58:06,357 --> 00:58:10,357 Uh, physically I'm fine, but emotionally I'm... 1107 00:58:10,570 --> 00:58:11,530 a wreck. 1108 00:58:11,613 --> 00:58:14,783 I hate to admit it, but I kind of saw this one coming. 1109 00:58:14,866 --> 00:58:17,366 I mean, those two were being really chummy at my party. 1110 00:58:17,869 --> 00:58:20,209 Yeah, well I can be oblivious sometimes. 1111 00:58:20,288 --> 00:58:22,078 Thank you for rubbing that in. 1112 00:58:43,937 --> 00:58:47,727 -So, here's a question. -Yes, whatever it is, yes. 1113 00:58:49,984 --> 00:58:51,494 Will you go to formal with me? 1114 00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:58,580 I mean, do I have to speak or can you read my alarming fast heart rate? Yes. 1115 00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:07,539 Hold on, you guys have another formal? How many does your school have? 1116 00:59:07,627 --> 00:59:10,047 As many that are needed to fund the new stables. 1117 00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:15,390 Murph, you will never believe what happened to me. Shelby kissed me. 1118 00:59:15,468 --> 00:59:20,008 Oh, dude, congrats. I always knew you could do it. 1119 00:59:20,765 --> 00:59:23,425 -Who's Shelby? -Toby, why are you here? Where's Murph? 1120 00:59:23,518 --> 00:59:25,728 -We switched shifts. -Why? Is he sick? 1121 00:59:25,812 --> 00:59:28,442 I don't think so, because it wasn't just for today. 1122 00:59:28,523 --> 00:59:30,573 It was for like the rest of the year. 1123 00:59:30,900 --> 00:59:33,570 -Did he say why? -No. 1124 00:59:35,196 --> 00:59:39,946 Oh, yeah, you know what, he did say that you were a selfish prick 1125 00:59:40,034 --> 00:59:43,044 and that you only think about yourself. 1126 00:59:44,831 --> 00:59:48,291 You don't think that has anything to do with him switching shifts, do you? 1127 00:59:51,087 --> 00:59:53,587 I guess you think this is pretty pathetic... 1128 00:59:54,465 --> 00:59:56,625 going for a walk with some old lady. 1129 00:59:57,427 --> 01:00:00,637 No, I feel like I actually needed this. 1130 01:00:01,472 --> 01:00:04,932 My granddaughter set this up. I don't know the first thing about apps, 1131 01:00:05,727 --> 01:00:08,647 unless it's the Bloomin' Onion at Outback Steakhouse. 1132 01:00:09,939 --> 01:00:11,689 -Now that's a good app. -Mm-hm. 1133 01:00:13,401 --> 01:00:17,781 My husband and I did this every day for the past 20 years. 1134 01:00:18,823 --> 01:00:22,123 -He passed away in June. -I'm so sorry to hear that. 1135 01:00:22,201 --> 01:00:23,291 Oliver. 1136 01:00:23,953 --> 01:00:24,953 That was his name. 1137 01:00:26,664 --> 01:00:28,674 He was ugly as sin. 1138 01:00:29,834 --> 01:00:31,254 His face was weird. 1139 01:00:32,962 --> 01:00:36,972 He had the right sized face on the wrong sized head. 1140 01:00:38,384 --> 01:00:40,304 Ol' smushy face, 1141 01:00:40,678 --> 01:00:41,968 that's what I called him. 1142 01:00:42,722 --> 01:00:43,852 That's real nice. 1143 01:00:44,974 --> 01:00:46,684 I didn't care what he looked like. 1144 01:00:47,894 --> 01:00:50,864 He made me laugh, and I liked being around him. 1145 01:00:52,857 --> 01:00:55,647 You want to know how you can tell if you're meant to be with someone? 1146 01:00:56,736 --> 01:00:58,486 -Please. -It's simple. 1147 01:00:59,238 --> 01:01:01,278 Just sit and have a conversation. 1148 01:01:02,492 --> 01:01:04,202 Some people when you talk to them, 1149 01:01:04,285 --> 01:01:06,905 it's like trying to listen to classical music 1150 01:01:06,996 --> 01:01:08,616 on a radio with no antenna. 1151 01:01:08,873 --> 01:01:11,633 You can push that dial back and forth all you want, 1152 01:01:11,709 --> 01:01:13,249 but you only get static. 1153 01:01:14,587 --> 01:01:17,217 But when you're meant to be with someone, 1154 01:01:18,007 --> 01:01:19,717 and they truly are the one, 1155 01:01:21,010 --> 01:01:22,220 you just sit, 1156 01:01:22,303 --> 01:01:23,763 start talking, 1157 01:01:24,722 --> 01:01:27,182 and a Beethoven sonata will begin to play. 1158 01:02:00,383 --> 01:02:03,303 You haven't mentioned the formal, Cel. It's tomorrow night. 1159 01:02:03,803 --> 01:02:06,013 Do you get a cut of the ticket sales or something? 1160 01:02:07,056 --> 01:02:09,766 -You are going, right? -I am actually. 1161 01:02:09,851 --> 01:02:11,231 -With whom? -Nobody. 1162 01:02:11,644 --> 01:02:12,854 I'm going whom-less. 1163 01:02:12,937 --> 01:02:14,227 What about Brooks? 1164 01:02:14,313 --> 01:02:17,323 I thought you guys were hanging out, 1165 01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:19,240 to use the parlance of your time. 1166 01:02:19,318 --> 01:02:21,778 Dad, no. I don't want to go with anybody. 1167 01:02:22,321 --> 01:02:25,031 Not Brooks Rattigan, not Franklin Volley, nobody. 1168 01:02:25,533 --> 01:02:27,203 -Okay? -Honey, listen-- 1169 01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:28,535 No, Mom, can you listen? 1170 01:02:28,619 --> 01:02:32,539 I have the rest of my life to get hung up on relationships and dating, 1171 01:02:32,623 --> 01:02:35,133 and "Is he really into me?", and "What does this text mean?" 1172 01:02:35,209 --> 01:02:36,709 -And all that bullshit. -Celia. 1173 01:02:36,794 --> 01:02:38,714 Why is high school the time of your life that you're expected to be good at everything? 1174 01:02:41,674 --> 01:02:44,014 I just wanna be whatever I am. 1175 01:02:45,136 --> 01:02:46,256 And I'm proud of that. 1176 01:02:47,013 --> 01:02:49,853 I just wanted you to have a better high school experience than I had. 1177 01:02:51,642 --> 01:02:53,022 Here we go. 1178 01:02:53,102 --> 01:02:55,482 -Group hug. -No, that's good. 1179 01:02:55,563 --> 01:02:56,733 -Group hug. -Please. 1180 01:02:56,814 --> 01:03:00,074 -Yep. -Oh, do we have to? Stop. 1181 01:03:02,570 --> 01:03:03,910 Okay. 1182 01:03:23,883 --> 01:03:24,763 Wow. 1183 01:03:24,842 --> 01:03:27,092 You look incredible. 1184 01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:28,385 Thanks. 1185 01:03:28,471 --> 01:03:31,931 It only took three stylists, two hairdressers, one makeup artist, 1186 01:03:32,016 --> 01:03:35,186 Bioslimming active wrap, two hours of pilates, 1187 01:03:35,269 --> 01:03:38,059 and like 12 pounds of moisturizer to look this way. 1188 01:03:38,147 --> 01:03:40,187 Wow. I took a shower. 1189 01:03:41,275 --> 01:03:43,945 Hold on, wait, chivalry is not dead. 1190 01:03:44,904 --> 01:03:46,954 -All right. -Thank you. 1191 01:03:47,573 --> 01:03:48,413 You're welcome. 1192 01:03:50,201 --> 01:03:51,491 What's that smell? 1193 01:04:09,887 --> 01:04:12,387 We ordered our tuna crudo, like, ten minutes ago. 1194 01:04:13,766 --> 01:04:15,136 Yeah, it was a while ago. 1195 01:04:19,647 --> 01:04:23,107 So, Shelby, do you have any plans for after high school? 1196 01:04:24,318 --> 01:04:25,608 I don't know, it's tough. 1197 01:04:25,695 --> 01:04:28,405 I don't, like, have my whole life planned out or anything. 1198 01:04:28,489 --> 01:04:30,659 -Yeah, nobody does. -Exactly. 1199 01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:33,367 So, in the fall, I'll be going to Columbia, 1200 01:04:33,452 --> 01:04:35,582 where I'll major in applied economics in management 1201 01:04:35,663 --> 01:04:37,003 with a concentration in finance, 1202 01:04:37,081 --> 01:04:40,631 and of course, I'll intern at my father's hedge fund over the summers. 1203 01:04:41,043 --> 01:04:43,633 Then, it's off to Harvard Business School, where I'll get my MBA. 1204 01:04:44,589 --> 01:04:46,759 I'll graduate, get some seed money 1205 01:04:46,841 --> 01:04:49,141 and then open up my own private equity firm, but... 1206 01:04:50,177 --> 01:04:52,177 after that, it's all kind of up in the air. 1207 01:04:52,847 --> 01:04:55,017 You really have to get your shit together, huh? 1208 01:04:55,099 --> 01:04:56,429 Right, yeah. 1209 01:04:58,102 --> 01:04:58,942 Yeah. How about you? 1210 01:05:01,772 --> 01:05:03,272 -Me? -Yeah. 1211 01:05:04,358 --> 01:05:05,818 Well, I'm applying to Yale, 1212 01:05:06,611 --> 01:05:07,651 and then I'll... 1213 01:05:12,408 --> 01:05:15,538 Well, I've been obsessing over just 1214 01:05:15,953 --> 01:05:19,833 applying for so long, that I haven't even thought about what I would do if I got in. 1215 01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:22,166 -Seriously? -Yeah. 1216 01:05:24,420 --> 01:05:25,550 Yeah, but I'm 18. 1217 01:05:26,047 --> 01:05:30,177 I got time to figure out who I am and what I want to do. 1218 01:05:31,761 --> 01:05:32,851 You know what I mean? 1219 01:05:34,305 --> 01:05:35,135 No. 1220 01:05:42,605 --> 01:05:44,015 Here you go. Have a nice night. 1221 01:05:52,156 --> 01:05:53,446 -Oh, no. -What? 1222 01:05:54,325 --> 01:05:55,275 It's your ex. 1223 01:05:57,078 --> 01:05:58,748 Is this gonna be weird for you? 1224 01:05:58,829 --> 01:06:01,829 I mean, I personally don't care at all, but maybe you should? 1225 01:06:01,916 --> 01:06:03,126 No, it's fine. 1226 01:06:05,336 --> 01:06:07,916 Wow, she's a really bad dancer. 1227 01:06:15,471 --> 01:06:16,851 Yeah, she's the worst. 1228 01:06:20,101 --> 01:06:21,851 So, you wanna go get a table or... ? 1229 01:06:21,936 --> 01:06:23,766 -Yeah, sure. - Brooks? 1230 01:06:25,022 --> 01:06:25,942 It is you. 1231 01:06:26,023 --> 01:06:27,823 Leah, hi. What are you doing here? 1232 01:06:27,900 --> 01:06:30,700 I go here. Look, I just really wanted to thank you, 1233 01:06:30,778 --> 01:06:33,528 you really helped me out a lot. If I hadn't used your services, 1234 01:06:33,614 --> 01:06:35,784 I wouldn't have been able to get with Larry, here. 1235 01:06:35,866 --> 01:06:38,736 -Hi, I'm Larry. -It's nice to meet you, Larry. 1236 01:06:38,828 --> 01:06:40,578 -Do you want to get that table? -Uh... 1237 01:06:40,663 --> 01:06:43,623 Wait, what do you mean, you used his services? 1238 01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:47,248 -This table right here. -His Stand-In app, Brooks for hire. 1239 01:06:47,712 --> 01:06:49,552 Isn't that what you're doing, Shelby? 1240 01:06:51,215 --> 01:06:54,925 Am I... am I paying somebody to go out with me? 1241 01:06:55,469 --> 01:06:57,219 God, no. Gross. 1242 01:06:58,180 --> 01:06:59,390 -Brooks? -Yeah? 1243 01:07:00,224 --> 01:07:02,064 What the hell is going on here? 1244 01:07:05,604 --> 01:07:06,564 I have a side... 1245 01:07:07,023 --> 01:07:09,533 business, where I go on dates with girls. 1246 01:07:11,318 --> 01:07:12,148 Why? 1247 01:07:14,447 --> 01:07:15,817 Wait. 1248 01:07:15,906 --> 01:07:19,116 You're not like a male prostitute or anything, right? 1249 01:07:19,201 --> 01:07:20,581 Like, what is it? 1250 01:07:20,953 --> 01:07:21,873 A male gigolo? 1251 01:07:21,954 --> 01:07:24,254 Well, all gigolos are males, but not all males are gigolos. 1252 01:07:24,623 --> 01:07:25,583 Gee... 1253 01:07:25,666 --> 01:07:29,336 No, it's clean and innocent. I swear, it's... 1254 01:07:31,213 --> 01:07:35,223 I do it because I need the money. Shelby, I'm not rich. I'm not from Darien. 1255 01:07:36,469 --> 01:07:40,179 I'm just some poor kid from Bridgeport, who wanted to impress you. 1256 01:07:41,348 --> 01:07:43,098 I mean, look at you, you are smart, 1257 01:07:43,309 --> 01:07:46,939 and strong and beautiful, and you are way too good for me. 1258 01:07:48,814 --> 01:07:49,654 You're right. 1259 01:07:50,691 --> 01:07:51,941 I am too good for you, 1260 01:07:52,526 --> 01:07:54,696 and not because I have more money than you, 1261 01:07:55,529 --> 01:07:56,989 it's because I'm not a liar. 1262 01:08:09,794 --> 01:08:12,054 ♪ If you come to me close ♪ 1263 01:08:12,463 --> 01:08:16,133 ♪ We'll cut the cable to outside ♪ 1264 01:08:20,471 --> 01:08:23,101 ♪ It's taken years to love her ♪ 1265 01:08:23,182 --> 01:08:25,642 ♪ But lately I've been close ♪ 1266 01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:27,352 Hi. Hey. 1267 01:08:33,275 --> 01:08:34,435 Where is your date? 1268 01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:37,781 She is elsewhere. 1269 01:08:39,198 --> 01:08:41,198 I told her everything. 1270 01:08:43,953 --> 01:08:45,003 Where's Franklin? 1271 01:08:46,497 --> 01:08:48,077 Oh, you know, he's somewhere. 1272 01:08:48,916 --> 01:08:51,786 Probably making sure no-one ever wants to be an artist again. 1273 01:08:54,755 --> 01:08:56,795 -You guys didn't work out? -No. 1274 01:08:57,508 --> 01:09:00,338 No, we didn't. You know, he's not really my type. 1275 01:09:01,470 --> 01:09:04,390 Turns out I'm more into oblivious, 1276 01:09:04,849 --> 01:09:07,519 self-absorbed pricks, you know. 1277 01:09:10,604 --> 01:09:11,524 Right. 1278 01:09:14,692 --> 01:09:15,652 Well, then, 1279 01:09:17,903 --> 01:09:19,163 would you like to dance? 1280 01:09:27,371 --> 01:09:28,211 No. 1281 01:09:28,873 --> 01:09:29,793 No, I wouldn't. 1282 01:09:30,624 --> 01:09:31,504 Why not? 1283 01:09:32,751 --> 01:09:34,171 Because I'm not your backup. 1284 01:09:50,311 --> 01:09:51,601 You're home early. 1285 01:09:53,480 --> 01:09:54,320 Yeah. 1286 01:09:57,276 --> 01:09:58,106 Yeah. 1287 01:09:58,360 --> 01:10:02,070 Tonight didn't really go quite as I thought it would. 1288 01:10:02,323 --> 01:10:03,243 I'm sorry, kid. 1289 01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,043 -You wanna lay it on me? 1290 01:10:17,713 --> 01:10:18,883 I've been a stand-in. 1291 01:10:20,132 --> 01:10:20,972 I see. 1292 01:10:21,550 --> 01:10:24,600 And what do those two words mean in this context? 1293 01:10:26,138 --> 01:10:28,558 Well, I started a dating service app. 1294 01:10:28,641 --> 01:10:30,141 -What? -Yeah. 1295 01:10:30,226 --> 01:10:31,096 I was the date, 1296 01:10:31,477 --> 01:10:32,307 the stand-in. 1297 01:10:32,394 --> 01:10:34,694 I've raised quite the entrepreneur, huh? 1298 01:10:34,772 --> 01:10:36,982 I mean, it was more just really... 1299 01:10:38,275 --> 01:10:40,355 school dances, and um... 1300 01:10:40,694 --> 01:10:43,114 art show openings. I went to a rodeo. 1301 01:10:43,197 --> 01:10:44,907 Oh, yeah, the cowboy outfit. 1302 01:10:44,990 --> 01:10:46,990 -You saw that? -Sure did, pardner. 1303 01:10:48,577 --> 01:10:51,707 Damn, Brooks, you did all that just to raise money for Yale? 1304 01:10:53,749 --> 01:10:57,169 I'd have sold a non-vital organ, if I'd known it meant that much to you. 1305 01:10:57,628 --> 01:10:59,708 There's a reason God gave us two kidneys. 1306 01:10:59,797 --> 01:11:03,177 That spare kidney is just a rainy day cash cow, sitting there. 1307 01:11:05,386 --> 01:11:07,096 It wasn't really just for the money. 1308 01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:09,970 I went out on all these dates 1309 01:11:10,057 --> 01:11:14,227 and pretended to be whatever it was that these girls wanted me to be, 1310 01:11:14,311 --> 01:11:16,271 because, I don't know, I thought that... 1311 01:11:16,772 --> 01:11:21,492 I thought that maybe I would find out who I am, and Miss Track... 1312 01:11:21,819 --> 01:11:24,949 quite cruelly pointed out that I have absolutely no idea who I am. 1313 01:11:25,030 --> 01:11:26,320 Anyway, it didn't work. 1314 01:11:26,407 --> 01:11:28,987 Yeah, well who the hell knows who they are anyway. 1315 01:11:29,076 --> 01:11:32,036 We are all just figuring it out as we go along. 1316 01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:33,825 -Yeah? -Yeah. 1317 01:11:34,373 --> 01:11:35,963 So, the best you can do is 1318 01:11:36,417 --> 01:11:38,707 reflect on who you were in the past 1319 01:11:38,794 --> 01:11:41,424 and compare that to who you wanna be in the future, 1320 01:11:41,922 --> 01:11:44,472 and you split the difference. That's who you are now. 1321 01:11:45,718 --> 01:11:47,468 Like, I was a success, 1322 01:11:48,012 --> 01:11:50,012 and I wanna be a success again. 1323 01:11:51,307 --> 01:11:52,977 And I was a good husband, 1324 01:11:53,934 --> 01:11:55,354 until your mom left us. 1325 01:11:55,936 --> 01:11:56,976 She left me, 1326 01:11:57,896 --> 01:12:00,816 but you know what I didn't fail at? Is being a good dad. 1327 01:12:01,984 --> 01:12:03,864 Because of who you turned out to be. 1328 01:12:04,945 --> 01:12:07,775 I know sometimes you think I gave up and... 1329 01:12:09,533 --> 01:12:11,243 yeah, maybe there's some truth in that. 1330 01:12:13,871 --> 01:12:15,291 But I never gave up on you. 1331 01:12:16,957 --> 01:12:17,787 I love you, bud. 1332 01:12:21,253 --> 01:12:23,263 -I love you too, Dad. -I know. 1333 01:13:01,460 --> 01:13:03,590 Bro, that's why he's here, isn't it? 1334 01:13:03,670 --> 01:13:05,050 Anyway, let's go get a sub. 1335 01:13:09,927 --> 01:13:10,927 -I'll be back. -Cool. 1336 01:13:16,558 --> 01:13:18,558 Not used to you being alone. 1337 01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:21,564 Yeah, well, I've successfully pushed everyone else away, so... 1338 01:13:23,690 --> 01:13:26,690 It occurred to me that I never would have been able to get 1339 01:13:26,777 --> 01:13:29,027 the Stand-In off the ground, if it wasn't for you. 1340 01:13:29,696 --> 01:13:31,526 And then once I finally got it to take off, 1341 01:13:31,615 --> 01:13:33,985 I shoved you out of the plane, so I am sorry. 1342 01:13:34,493 --> 01:13:35,993 It's not that big a deal, man. 1343 01:13:36,495 --> 01:13:37,745 Uh... 1344 01:13:37,830 --> 01:13:40,790 I have an emotional parachute that I've been weaving together, 1345 01:13:40,874 --> 01:13:42,584 every day I've been alive. 1346 01:13:43,293 --> 01:13:44,633 But how goes that Yale essay? 1347 01:13:45,129 --> 01:13:46,049 It's paused. 1348 01:13:46,296 --> 01:13:49,256 I'm not the best judge of my words or my actions right now. 1349 01:13:50,801 --> 01:13:52,091 How's tuna melt? 1350 01:13:52,177 --> 01:13:53,507 He came back to the shop, 1351 01:13:53,971 --> 01:13:57,391 so, good, I guess? Or, at the very least, not really bad. 1352 01:13:57,474 --> 01:14:01,024 He's not coming in for middle of the road sandwich cuisine. 1353 01:14:01,103 --> 01:14:02,563 I get it, you're intimidated, 1354 01:14:02,646 --> 01:14:05,646 he's taller, he's stronger, he's obviously better looking than you. 1355 01:14:06,150 --> 01:14:09,400 But you are the smart one, so you have got to make the first move. 1356 01:14:13,615 --> 01:14:16,905 So, I guess, let's both do better at what we have to do. 1357 01:14:16,994 --> 01:14:17,954 Huh? 1358 01:14:18,203 --> 01:14:19,043 Yeah. 1359 01:14:19,121 --> 01:14:20,411 Huh? 1360 01:14:21,165 --> 01:14:22,825 -All right. -All right. 1361 01:14:29,965 --> 01:14:30,795 Watch this. 1362 01:14:30,883 --> 01:14:34,053 Hey, Rattigan, dude, I heard what happened with you and my cousin, 1363 01:14:34,136 --> 01:14:36,256 and if it makes you feel any better, 1364 01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:38,430 I'll let you take my car for the weekend. 1365 01:14:39,308 --> 01:14:41,308 -No, I'm good. -Just kidding, I'm not... 1366 01:14:41,685 --> 01:14:44,185 -What? -I said, "I'm good." Thanks though, Reece. 1367 01:14:45,439 --> 01:14:47,229 -Really? -Yeah. 1368 01:14:47,858 --> 01:14:48,858 It's just a car. 1369 01:14:50,194 --> 01:14:52,404 Look, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. 1370 01:14:53,113 --> 01:14:56,163 Okay, I know it can be rough when your parents go through a divorce. 1371 01:14:56,617 --> 01:14:58,577 It makes you act differently, so.... 1372 01:14:59,578 --> 01:15:01,158 Uh, what? 1373 01:15:55,842 --> 01:15:56,892 Hey, Celia. 1374 01:15:57,886 --> 01:15:58,716 Hey. 1375 01:16:00,722 --> 01:16:02,602 Thank you for saying yes to this. 1376 01:16:02,683 --> 01:16:04,603 Can I get you something, a coffee, or... ? 1377 01:16:04,977 --> 01:16:06,767 I don't know, I have a Pour Over. 1378 01:16:06,853 --> 01:16:08,863 Franklin was right, they're kind of divine. 1379 01:16:08,939 --> 01:16:10,689 Oh, God, no. No, thank you. 1380 01:16:13,443 --> 01:16:15,073 So, how have you been? 1381 01:16:16,196 --> 01:16:17,026 Good. 1382 01:16:17,364 --> 01:16:18,704 I'm good. I'm really good. 1383 01:16:19,950 --> 01:16:20,830 That's good. 1384 01:16:21,368 --> 01:16:22,198 Um-hmm. 1385 01:16:25,622 --> 01:16:26,872 Well, I killed the app. 1386 01:16:27,457 --> 01:16:28,667 Oh, that right? 1387 01:16:29,543 --> 01:16:32,343 Well, in the spirit of honesty, which is kind of my new thing, 1388 01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:35,131 I haven't quite been able to bring myself to delete it, 1389 01:16:35,215 --> 01:16:37,545 but I have denied all the requests that are coming in. 1390 01:16:38,051 --> 01:16:39,931 And the women of the world weep. 1391 01:16:40,554 --> 01:16:43,814 Not really. There's a couple of copycat apps that have popped up. 1392 01:16:44,057 --> 01:16:46,977 The market is getting saturated. I got out of the game at a good time. 1393 01:16:47,561 --> 01:16:49,271 -Good. -Yeah. 1394 01:16:53,775 --> 01:16:56,315 -It's nice to see you. I miss you. -Brooks. 1395 01:16:57,487 --> 01:17:00,117 Please, just don't, okay? 1396 01:17:02,367 --> 01:17:04,487 Hey, am I gonna read the admissions letter or what? 1397 01:17:04,578 --> 01:17:05,698 Yes, sorry. 1398 01:17:06,330 --> 01:17:08,170 I hope you didn't waste too much time on it, 1399 01:17:08,248 --> 01:17:10,538 because based on your meeting with the Dean, 1400 01:17:10,626 --> 01:17:13,336 you could have drawn a picture of a bee and gotten in. 1401 01:17:14,046 --> 01:17:15,666 I actually didn't apply to Yale. 1402 01:17:16,465 --> 01:17:19,125 -Wait, what? -Yeah, I accepted UCONN's offer. 1403 01:17:21,511 --> 01:17:22,351 Uh... 1404 01:17:23,055 --> 01:17:27,095 Hold on, I thought Yale was everything to you. 1405 01:17:27,184 --> 01:17:28,144 It was. 1406 01:17:29,353 --> 01:17:30,693 It was and then I realized 1407 01:17:30,771 --> 01:17:33,361 that if I have to pretend to be someone else to get in, 1408 01:17:33,440 --> 01:17:35,940 then I probably don't belong there. 1409 01:17:36,026 --> 01:17:36,856 You know? 1410 01:17:43,450 --> 01:17:44,530 Brooks, what is this? 1411 01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:54,625 Dear Admissions Office of the University of Celia Lieberman, 1412 01:17:54,711 --> 01:17:56,801 First off, I just want to say what an honor it is 1413 01:17:56,880 --> 01:18:00,260 just to be considered as a potential attendee at your fine institution. 1414 01:18:00,342 --> 01:18:03,602 And secondly, this feels really creepy writing to you 1415 01:18:03,679 --> 01:18:06,639 as if you're a university and not a person, so I'll stop that now. 1416 01:18:07,140 --> 01:18:10,560 A few months ago, I was a guy who carried around this empty feeling. 1417 01:18:10,811 --> 01:18:12,941 Then, I thought that it could be filled by 1418 01:18:13,021 --> 01:18:14,311 driving the nicest car, 1419 01:18:15,357 --> 01:18:19,357 dating the most popular girl, or going to the fanciest school. 1420 01:18:20,112 --> 01:18:22,112 But the closer I got to having any of these things, 1421 01:18:22,197 --> 01:18:23,907 the deeper that empty feeling got. 1422 01:18:24,616 --> 01:18:27,156 I've been so many people these past few months. 1423 01:18:28,286 --> 01:18:31,456 A cowboy, an art connoisseur, an amateur beekeeper, 1424 01:18:31,540 --> 01:18:33,880 a prep school wannabe, a bad friend, 1425 01:18:33,959 --> 01:18:37,209 an obnoxious son and a self-obsessed prick. 1426 01:18:37,295 --> 01:18:39,415 But through it all there were little pockets of air 1427 01:18:39,506 --> 01:18:41,586 when I felt like I was truly myself, 1428 01:18:42,509 --> 01:18:44,299 and that was when I was with you. 1429 01:18:46,304 --> 01:18:48,314 ♪ Is it cold when you're dreaming? ♪ 1430 01:18:49,015 --> 01:18:51,435 ♪ Is it cold when you're under? ♪ 1431 01:18:52,644 --> 01:18:55,274 I don't know if you're accepting applications right now, 1432 01:18:55,355 --> 01:18:58,435 but if not, I am totally willing to be wait-listed. 1433 01:19:04,781 --> 01:19:05,781 Hey. 1434 01:19:06,491 --> 01:19:08,791 I was gonna cook a steak, do you want one? 1435 01:19:08,869 --> 01:19:10,369 -No, thanks. -Are you sure? 1436 01:19:10,454 --> 01:19:12,294 -Yeah, I'm good. -All right. 1437 01:19:15,417 --> 01:19:16,327 Hey... 1438 01:19:16,835 --> 01:19:19,335 you actually got some mail. I put it on the table. 1439 01:19:20,797 --> 01:19:21,627 Oh, boy. 1440 01:19:22,174 --> 01:19:25,054 Just what I need. It's probably another rejection letter. 1441 01:19:27,220 --> 01:19:28,140 This is... 1442 01:19:28,221 --> 01:19:30,101 It must be one of the grants I applied for, 1443 01:19:30,182 --> 01:19:31,642 the Visionary Writing Award. 1444 01:19:31,725 --> 01:19:35,435 Dear Mr. Rattigan, in recognition of your unparalleled literary talent, 1445 01:19:35,520 --> 01:19:39,480 we would like to offer you this grant to further your career as a visionary writer. 1446 01:19:39,566 --> 01:19:42,896 -That's incredible, Dad. -Yeah! That's how we do it! 1447 01:19:43,987 --> 01:19:46,157 Steak night. Boom! 1448 01:20:15,393 --> 01:20:17,233 ♪ And I want ♪ 1449 01:20:18,438 --> 01:20:21,148 ♪ For you to know ♪ 1450 01:20:23,193 --> 01:20:24,903 I shouldn't have slapped you. 1451 01:20:25,028 --> 01:20:27,778 I mean, it felt great for me, 1452 01:20:27,989 --> 01:20:29,699 but I shouldn't have slapped you. 1453 01:20:30,242 --> 01:20:34,792 -No, I think I deserved it. -Yeah, you did. 1454 01:20:35,413 --> 01:20:36,923 And, you know, I'd do it again. 1455 01:20:38,166 --> 01:20:39,836 But I'd really like to not have to. 1456 01:20:41,378 --> 01:20:42,958 So, are you ready to go? 1457 01:20:44,339 --> 01:20:45,169 Go where? 1458 01:20:45,257 --> 01:20:47,627 Our date. I'm taking you to the formal. 1459 01:20:47,717 --> 01:20:50,597 Another formal? How expensive are horse stables? 1460 01:20:50,679 --> 01:20:52,099 It's just a shed over an animal. 1461 01:20:52,180 --> 01:20:55,640 No, I'm not going to another formal for as long as I live. 1462 01:20:55,725 --> 01:20:59,265 Come on, I'm not taking no for an answer and you know how stubborn I can be. 1463 01:21:00,564 --> 01:21:01,904 I do know that. 1464 01:21:04,442 --> 01:21:05,692 -Fine. -Good answer. 1465 01:21:05,777 --> 01:21:09,237 But wait, you left literally all the fields blank on the app, so 1466 01:21:09,322 --> 01:21:12,332 what kind of personality would you like for your date? 1467 01:21:12,409 --> 01:21:14,199 There were so many good ones. 1468 01:21:14,995 --> 01:21:17,995 But I think I'm gonna go with regular old 1469 01:21:18,081 --> 01:21:21,501 no-frills, vanilla ice cream Brooks Rattigan. 1470 01:21:23,920 --> 01:21:25,380 I think I can make that happen. 1471 01:21:34,764 --> 01:21:35,684 Ooh! 1472 01:21:39,477 --> 01:21:40,557 Thanks, I got that. 1473 01:21:40,645 --> 01:21:42,805 -Nice of you to dress up. -Yeah. 1474 01:21:43,398 --> 01:21:45,438 I just... I do what she tells me to do. 1475 01:21:45,525 --> 01:21:46,565 -Um-hmm. -Um-hmm. 1476 01:21:46,651 --> 01:21:48,111 Hey, what's up? 1477 01:21:48,904 --> 01:21:49,744 Murph. 1478 01:21:50,864 --> 01:21:52,454 -This is incredible. -I know. 1479 01:21:53,158 --> 01:21:55,618 I can't take all the credit, the whole thing was Celia's idea, 1480 01:21:56,077 --> 01:21:57,997 and tuna melt is a whiz with décor. 1481 01:21:59,247 --> 01:22:00,117 What's his real name? 1482 01:22:02,334 --> 01:22:03,924 Oh, my God, you don't know. 1483 01:22:04,002 --> 01:22:05,632 How do you not know his name? 1484 01:22:05,712 --> 01:22:09,172 I keep hoping it will come up naturally and it never does. 1485 01:22:09,257 --> 01:22:11,547 And I can't ask him now, I'm in too deep. 1486 01:22:13,345 --> 01:22:17,055 Look, I know it's early, but if you're in need of a roommate next year... 1487 01:22:18,183 --> 01:22:19,023 No. 1488 01:22:19,351 --> 01:22:21,311 -Wait, you're going to UCONN? -I am. 1489 01:22:21,394 --> 01:22:24,194 I didn't think they'd accept me, considering my GPA is a bit iffy, 1490 01:22:24,272 --> 01:22:26,732 but I showed them some of my apps, and they were impressed. 1491 01:22:26,816 --> 01:22:28,936 Who told you the Stand-In would be good for both of us? 1492 01:22:29,027 --> 01:22:30,647 Not the Stand-In, they hated it. 1493 01:22:30,737 --> 01:22:31,567 -What? -They hated it. 1494 01:22:31,655 --> 01:22:33,155 They liked MyTraxx, 1495 01:22:33,448 --> 01:22:36,118 and I tweaked it to be applicable for student loans. 1496 01:22:36,326 --> 01:22:38,576 You know, which makes me a genius. 1497 01:22:38,662 --> 01:22:42,042 -Congratulations, man. -Hey, Murph, help me with this table. 1498 01:22:42,540 --> 01:22:43,500 Got it, uh... 1499 01:22:43,875 --> 01:22:44,705 man. 1500 01:22:46,503 --> 01:22:50,553 Hey, I can bear this wait no longer, you've gotta tell me. 1501 01:22:51,508 --> 01:22:52,588 Did I get in? 1502 01:22:53,343 --> 01:22:54,393 Hmm. 1503 01:22:54,469 --> 01:22:55,599 It was a tough call. 1504 01:22:56,262 --> 01:22:59,852 I mean, your essay was littered with sentence fragments and run-ons, 1505 01:22:59,933 --> 01:23:02,143 like, seriously, but, 1506 01:23:02,602 --> 01:23:04,482 after careful consideration, 1507 01:23:05,689 --> 01:23:09,779 the Admissions Board of the University of Celia Lieberman 1508 01:23:09,859 --> 01:23:12,489 is pleased to inform you that, yes, you are accepted. 1509 01:23:14,656 --> 01:23:16,906 -Come on! -Hey, don't get too excited. 1510 01:23:16,992 --> 01:23:21,162 You are on a probationary basis, okay? Like, one semester at a time. 1511 01:23:21,246 --> 01:23:23,156 Okay. Well, I'll take what I can get. 1512 01:23:23,248 --> 01:23:27,208 So, I mean, what are you gonna do to celebrate this acceptance? 1513 01:23:27,293 --> 01:23:29,463 There are a few things that I'd like to do. 1514 01:23:29,546 --> 01:23:31,046 Oh, inform me. What? 1515 01:23:31,131 --> 01:23:32,881 Well, one, 1516 01:23:33,508 --> 01:23:35,138 I really wanna do this. 1517 01:23:43,810 --> 01:23:44,640 And two, 1518 01:23:46,146 --> 01:23:47,396 I wanna do that again. 1519 01:24:00,535 --> 01:24:01,485 And three, 1520 01:24:02,829 --> 01:24:04,039 I want to dance. 1521 01:24:04,873 --> 01:24:07,833 Oh, you think you can keep up with me? 1522 01:24:07,917 --> 01:24:09,457 Well, I'd like to try. 1523 01:24:17,927 --> 01:24:19,047 Whoa! 1524 01:24:23,850 --> 01:24:24,680 Yes, Murph. 1525 01:24:25,769 --> 01:24:26,809 Hello, Celia. 1526 01:24:26,895 --> 01:24:30,515 ♪ I can wear the clothes Of the characters of films that I see ♪ 1527 01:24:31,232 --> 01:24:34,992 ♪ Some say unoriginal But it works out for me ♪ 1528 01:24:35,737 --> 01:24:39,317 ♪ It's a fact dear I'm an act here, No camera, no stage ♪ 1529 01:24:40,075 --> 01:24:43,655 ♪ Dressed to impress So I can lie about my age ♪ 1530 01:24:44,037 --> 01:24:47,917 ♪ And oh You gonna lean on your friends ♪ 1531 01:24:48,249 --> 01:24:51,419 ♪ And oh, you did it again ♪ 1532 01:24:52,712 --> 01:24:56,302 ♪ And oh You gonna lean on your friends ♪ 1533 01:24:56,883 --> 01:25:00,103 ♪ And oh, you did it again ♪ 1534 01:25:18,863 --> 01:25:21,073 ♪ And the beatniks, and the junkies ♪ 1535 01:25:21,157 --> 01:25:26,197 ♪ And if you feed them, you're a flunky You say ooh ♪ 1536 01:25:27,497 --> 01:25:31,957 ♪ And the projects and the charlies And the discos and the parties ♪ ♪ And the blood streets and the new wave It's the renaissance of these days ♪ 1537 01:25:36,589 --> 01:25:40,429 ♪ And oh You gonna lean on your friends ♪ 1538 01:25:40,510 --> 01:25:43,760 ♪ And oh, you did it again ♪ 1539 01:25:44,973 --> 01:25:49,313 ♪ And oh You gonna lean on your friends ♪ 1540 01:25:49,394 --> 01:25:52,524 ♪ And oh, you did it again ♪ 1541 01:26:11,457 --> 01:26:15,497 ♪ And oh You gonna lean on your friends ♪ 1542 01:26:15,628 --> 01:26:18,838 ♪ And oh, you did it again ♪ 1543 01:26:48,077 --> 01:26:51,207 ♪ Let's not play pretend ♪ 1544 01:26:52,081 --> 01:26:56,341 ♪ You got to want it You got to need it ♪ 1545 01:26:57,462 --> 01:27:00,512 ♪ All things have to end ♪ 1546 01:27:01,382 --> 01:27:05,642 ♪ And now that I see it You got what you needed ♪ 1547 01:27:16,397 --> 01:27:22,067 ♪ Oh, moving on to something So much better ♪ 1548 01:27:22,737 --> 01:27:24,817 ♪ So much better ♪ 1549 01:27:25,823 --> 01:27:31,503 ♪ Oh, think I'll take this time To just forget her ♪ 1550 01:27:32,330 --> 01:27:34,330 ♪ Just forget her ♪ 1551 01:27:35,250 --> 01:27:38,170 ♪ Let's not play pretend ♪ 1552 01:27:39,921 --> 01:27:42,801 ♪ All things have to end ♪  1553 01:27:44,634 --> 01:27:50,224 ♪ Oh, moving on to something So much better ♪ 1554 01:27:51,015 --> 01:27:53,015 ♪ So much better ♪ 1555 01:28:03,486 --> 01:28:06,446 ♪ Let's not play pretend ♪ 1556 01:28:07,323 --> 01:28:11,583 ♪ You got to want it You got to need it ♪ 1557 01:28:12,787 --> 01:28:15,747 ♪ All things have to end ♪ 1558 01:28:16,874 --> 01:28:21,214 ♪ And now I see it You got what you needed ♪ 1559 01:28:31,639 --> 01:28:37,399 ♪ Oh, moving on to something So much better ♪ 1560 01:28:38,062 --> 01:28:40,062 ♪ So much better ♪ 1561 01:28:41,107 --> 01:28:46,697 ♪ Oh, think I'll take this time To just forget her ♪ 1562 01:28:47,655 --> 01:28:49,655 ♪ Just forget her ♪ 1563 01:28:50,616 --> 01:28:53,486 ♪ Let's not play pretend ♪ 1564 01:28:55,204 --> 01:28:58,294 ♪ All things have to end ♪ 1565 01:28:59,876 --> 01:29:05,506 ♪ Oh, moving on to something So much better ♪ 1566 01:29:06,299 --> 01:29:08,299 ♪ So much better ♪ 1567 01:29:29,489 --> 01:29:35,039 ♪ Oh, moving on to something So much better ♪ 1568 01:29:35,828 --> 01:29:37,828 ♪ So much better ♪ 1569 01:29:38,915 --> 01:29:44,495 ♪ Oh, think I'll take this time To just forget her ♪ 117588

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.