Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,566
Dear Office of Admissions,
2
00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:28,361
my name is Brooks Rattigan,
3
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,485
but I don't just want you to know that,
4
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:32,912
I want the world to know that,
5
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,831
because I wanna change the world.
6
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,173
Like my heroes before me,
7
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:42,709
Jobs, Jordan,
8
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:45,299
Musk, game changers.
9
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,094
World changers.
10
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:49,669
These are big lives,
11
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:51,303
glamorous lives.
12
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:53,972
My dad lived a pretty big life.
13
00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:56,216
Now he...
14
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:58,272
doesn't.
15
00:00:58,349 --> 00:01:00,479
You can't change the world alone.
16
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,400
Every Jobs needs a Watts,every Jordan has a Pippen,
17
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,730
every Musk has...
18
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,320
Well, actually I think
19
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,689
Musk will probably end up on Marsby himself.
20
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:09,647
I've got Murph.
21
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,486
The reviews are in.
22
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,161
-And?
-Someone wrote...
23
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,699
Oh, "This app made me poke my eyes out,
thanks for nothing."
24
00:01:16,284 --> 00:01:18,914
But someone else wrote,
"Groovy app," so...
25
00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:20,707
I guess it's net neutral.
26
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,209
-It's good that they're not all bad.
-True.
27
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:24,251
On to the next one.
28
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:27,964
Another crucial lesson I'velearned from my heroes and from Murph,
29
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,706
"Always be improving."
30
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:33,127
I invoke this lesson dailyin my current profession...
31
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,596
purveyor of the culinary arts.
32
00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:46,610
Without vision, we succumb to the average,and what I want is the extraordinary
33
00:01:46,689 --> 00:01:48,939
and the support ofan extraordinary unive--
34
00:01:49,025 --> 00:01:51,185
Okay. That's enough.
35
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,607
-But there's actually five more pages.
-That's plenty.
36
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:55,494
Okay.
37
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,326
So what do you think?
38
00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:58,792
I think...
39
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:04,417
I think all the words were there.
40
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:06,705
You hate it.
41
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,880
I bare my soul on these pages
and you hate my soul.
42
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,973
You didn't bare your soul.
That's what I hate about it.
43
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,628
-Say more about that.
-You wanna change the world?
44
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:15,547
What about it?
45
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:18,972
The world needs changing
and I'm sure that you can agree with that.
46
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:20,425
Ugh!
47
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:24,936
You talk about creating
the next big thing. What thing?
48
00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:27,653
And you wanna be a game-changer.
49
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,519
What is the game?
50
00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:31,989
You're really going full-blown
Shark Tank on me,
51
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,648
and I have to say that I appreciate it.
52
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:36,566
-Yale's the goal, correct?
-Yes, more than anything in the world.
53
00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,281
You have the grades.
54
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,406
Thank you for noticing.
55
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,082
They're not just looking for
good grades.
56
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,961
If you wanna stand out,
you're gonna have to rework your essay.
57
00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:46,248
You're gonna have to look real deep inside
58
00:02:46,332 --> 00:02:47,672
and ask yourself,
59
00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,920
"Who is Brooks Rattigan?"
60
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:02,218
Wanna take it for a spin,
Rattigan?
61
00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:06,484
-Uh, yeah, sure.
-Yeah?
62
00:03:09,355 --> 00:03:11,015
No. No!
63
00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:14,487
♪ I spend all my time ♪
64
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:15,699
♪ Waiting... ♪
65
00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:20,703
♪ What do you do? ♪
66
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:25,327
♪ I'm tired of tryin' ♪
67
00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:28,543
♪ Gave up my life for you ♪
68
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,000
♪ But now we're through ♪
69
00:03:31,085 --> 00:03:36,795
♪ I know there's no going backFrom it, baby ♪
70
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:42,600
♪ You know where I wanna be... ♪
71
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,941
Hey, he's home.
72
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,309
Good thing I got a second box here.
73
00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,397
No, I think I'm just gonna grab something
from work.
74
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,113
Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. Don't go.
75
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:57,528
I feel like we don't talk anymore.
76
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,742
Really? I feel like
that's pretty much all we do.
77
00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:02,122
You met with the counselor today, right?
How did that go?
78
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,370
It was good. She told me that
Yale's competitive. Did you know that?
79
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,084
I thought we agreed on UCONN?
80
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:10,464
Faculty scions only pay room and board.
81
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:12,461
Dad, I told you
not to worry about the money.
Okay, you're right.
Why am I worried about money?
82
00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,955
College is free, right?
83
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:17,916
I'm gonna figure it out.
84
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,429
I don't get it.
85
00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:21,641
It's a great school.
86
00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:24,969
UCONN is like the girl down the street
who eats food in bed and smells like it.
87
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:27,346
-Patty Munchwrath?
-I love Patty, she's fantastic,
88
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,813
but she's not Yale.
89
00:04:28,893 --> 00:04:29,733
Yale...
90
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:30,938
She is...
91
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,110
she's smart,
92
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,688
she's stylish, but not flashy.
93
00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:36,574
She's cultured,
she speaks multiple languages,
94
00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:37,781
probably knows how to sail.
95
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,360
You get accepted by her,
96
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,620
that means you're somebody special.
97
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:46,365
Murph, do you wanna write
my admissions essay for me?
98
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:48,712
We could do it like a thought exercise.
99
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:51,958
I'm good, cos I'm writing mine,
because people write their own.
100
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:54,171
Give me some inspiration.
What's your core theme?
101
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,632
I'm writing about my struggles
with dyslexia,
102
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,715
and I'm writing it backwards.
103
00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:00,839
That's genius.
104
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,258
-Do you wanna hear what I got?
-Mm.
105
00:05:03,886 --> 00:05:05,256
"My name is Brooks Rattigan."
106
00:05:09,058 --> 00:05:09,888
I like it.
It's raw.
107
00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:13,225
Honest.
108
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:16,073
I don't know, man,
I think my life's interesting.
109
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:19,109
I just don't know how to
articulate it, you know?
110
00:05:19,193 --> 00:05:21,613
Why don't you write about
your mom leaving?
111
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:24,623
-That's interesting.
-That's a really short essay, actually.
112
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,869
Dad got bucked off the publishing horse
instead of getting back on it,
113
00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:29,702
and chasing after his cowgirl,
114
00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:32,287
he decided that sitting in the mud
was good enough for him.
115
00:05:32,373 --> 00:05:34,583
Yeah, but she left you too.
116
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:38,627
No, I think in truth she left this town,
and I can't hold that against her.
117
00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:41,554
Nothing is good enough for you.
118
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,378
I think I can respect that.
119
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:46,761
My aunt and uncle keep begging me,
and it's like I'm not gonna say, "No."
120
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:50,096
You say, "No," because she's family
and dating your cousin is weird.
121
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,603
Dude, I'm not dating my cousin,
122
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,944
I'm escorting her to a semi-formal
like Greenwich Prep, that's it.
123
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:57,109
Plus my uncle is paying me too, so...
124
00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:00,490
What up, Rattigan?
Italian sub on wheat, no tomatoes.
125
00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:02,280
Italian sub for the Italian guy.
126
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,322
I'm Swedish.
No, yeah, I know,
127
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,660
just no self-respecting Italian
would turn his back on the tomato.
128
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:09,905
Word.
129
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:14,501
Anyway, I mean, dude,
it's like the worst timing ever too.
130
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,212
Like, Maddison's parents are gonna be gone
131
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,462
for the night and we'd have
the house to ourselves.
Is your cousin hot?
I'll take her if she's hot.
132
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,514
I'll take your cousin.
133
00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,304
-What?
-Yeah, what?
134
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,724
Yeah, what?
135
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,967
-I'll take your cousin to the dance.
-Oh, yeah, sandwich boy?
136
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,385
Yeah? You gonna be wearing
those plastic gloves too?
137
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,024
Cos my aunt would love that.
138
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,441
No, this is Greenwich,
so I would dress the part.
139
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,690
-Why? What would you get out of it?
-I get the payment you're talking about.
140
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,607
-And I get to take your car.
141
00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,323
No, you're not taking my car.
142
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,493
Come on, man, you're gonna tell me
that you really wanna give up the chance
143
00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:50,282
of spending an entire night all alone with
Maddison when her parents are out of town?
144
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:54,664
You got a suit?
145
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:02,003
Woo! I cannot believe he said yes,
Murph. This is incredible!
146
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,208
It's just a car.
147
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:06,047
You have no appreciation
for the finer things in life.
148
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:06,974
Speaking of things
149
00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:09,101
I don't have appreciation for,
remind me again,
150
00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:10,558
why you agreed to do this?
151
00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,098
Because I need the money.
152
00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,271
Who knows,
maybe stepping outside of myself,
153
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:17,270
becoming someone else for the night,
it might help me finish my essay.
154
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:19,313
And who are you gonna become?
155
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,687
Whatever she wants me to be,
which I'm pretty sure is
156
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:23,284
what every other girl wants me to be.
157
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:25,069
Some knight in shining armor,
158
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:28,493
some Prince Charming to open doors for her
and compliment her hair.
159
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,913
You're getting paid to take a girl
on a date.
160
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:34,082
So, did you know that Michelle Obama
got paid to go on a date with Barack
161
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,372
-and look how great that turned out.
-Is that true?
162
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,826
I don't know. I'm not a presidential
historian, but it could be true,
163
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,207
and that is my point.
164
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,016
-Hello, sir. Brooks Rattigan.
-Brooks Rattigan.
165
00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:05,444
Reece told us all about you.
166
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:09,073
Just your name, but that's all I needed
to run the background check.
167
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,660
No, I actually know
that you ran a background check.
168
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,452
-I found out when I ran one on you.
169
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,910
-Jerry Lieberman. Come in, Brooks.
-Sure.
170
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,247
Before you have a chance
to change your mind.
171
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:22,883
I'm kidding.
172
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,173
I like to joke about things.
173
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,514
-So, welcome to our humble abode.
-This is stupid!
174
00:08:29,008 --> 00:08:31,468
-As you can see, all original flooring.
- Get out!
175
00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:33,722
I swear, Jerry, the wrinkles
that girl has caused me
176
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:35,644
in places I didn't even know
could wrinkle.
177
00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,273
Honey, our guest has arrived.
178
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:38,428
Hi.
179
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,598
Brooks Rattigan.
Lillian Lieberman.
180
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,108
She won't wear the shoes.
181
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:49,361
There are no "the shoes,"
there's just shoes. Is she wearing shoes?
182
00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,374
It's a miracle
she agreed to do this.
183
00:08:56,452 --> 00:08:57,452
Good evening.
184
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,160
-I am--
-Reece's bitch?
185
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:02,287
-Celia!
-Relax, he knows I'm kidding.
186
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,625
Right, slum?
187
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,133
Oh, sweetie, you look so beautiful.
188
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,962
I'm not wearing the shoes.
189
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:09,877
-But they go.
-Listen to yourself.
190
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:14,046
Well, I happen to think
that heels are an outmoded display of
191
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,010
female oppression.
192
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:19,845
Fine.
193
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:21,194
Thanks, Mom.
194
00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,734
Let's do this, so we can stop doing this.
195
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,439
You kids have fun.
196
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:31,067
-Thanks for the assist back there.
-Yeah, no, just part of the job.
197
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,525
Reece let you use his car.
198
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:37,115
Man, he was really desperate
to get out of this, wasn't he?
199
00:09:37,201 --> 00:09:40,041
No, he wanted to go with you. He thought
we would have more fun together.
200
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,081
-Uh-huh.
-Here.
201
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:42,829
There you are.
202
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,165
Oh, that's cute,
203
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,667
but I can open my own doors.
204
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,420
Thanks.
205
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,466
Okay.
206
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:03,845
Shall I put on some music?
207
00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,650
Wow, you provide quite the service.
208
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,940
Don't tell me you've got
individually wrapped Mentos
209
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,738
and Tyler water bottles in your glove box.
210
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:15,784
Oh, my God, you do.
211
00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,657
Fulfilling my fantasy of dating
my Lyft driver.
212
00:10:20,244 --> 00:10:22,664
In 500 feet, make a left.
213
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,457
No, you're gonna keep on the straight.
214
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:27,750
-The navigation said--
-No, don't listen to robots, listen to me.
215
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,705
Recalculating.In 200 feet, make a right.
216
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,376
You need to make a left here.
217
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,220
Okay, so now pull over,
218
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,352
and here we are.
219
00:10:37,845 --> 00:10:39,595
This is not your high school.
Wouldn't it be weird if it was?
220
00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,692
Okay, so you can swing back
and pick me up in a few hours.
221
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,229
You're telling me
that you would rather hang out at a...
222
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,820
café book store
than go to a high school dance?
223
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:50,729
Yes.
224
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:52,609
Oh, my God. Yes.
225
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:53,823
Yes, I would.
226
00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,574
-Celia.
-Gigolo.
227
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:58,065
-Brooks. My name's Brooks.
-Sure.
228
00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:01,407
Look, you are my responsibility,
and I cannot let you out of this car.
229
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,204
Okay, let's define terms here.
230
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:07,077
I'm not your responsibility, because
Eisenhower isn't in office anymore.
231
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,536
Secondly, you're being paid
to hang out with me.
232
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:15,171
Imagine how that makes me feel.
Like, really, really imagine it.
233
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:17,260
Now do as I say.
234
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:21,013
Compensation aside, I think that you and I
could have a really good time tonight.
235
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,101
You've clearly never been
to my high school.
236
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:29,943
Fine.
237
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,193
Wow.
238
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:36,237
What?
239
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,988
Your hair looks really nice.
240
00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:58,134
-Wow, this is your cafeteria?
-Center for culinary participation.
241
00:11:58,592 --> 00:12:00,802
Don't let the glossy sheen fool you,
242
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,346
the food still sucks.
243
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:06,273
I admire your ability to ruin moments.
You do it with panache.
244
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:11,107
Why is nobody dancing? What, is dancing
just a poor person thing now?
245
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,518
You think people actually
go to a dance to dance?
246
00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:15,687
No, they come here to take photos
for their Instagram.
247
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,566
I'm sure that's why
people have babies too.
248
00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:20,447
-Okay, let's go shred some hardwood.
-No.
249
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:21,491
-Yes.
-No, no, no.
250
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,704
-No.
-Yes!
251
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,093
Okay.
252
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:39,467
What do you got going on over here?
253
00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:42,847
I can't tell if you're doing Chandler Bing
or Napoleon Dynamite.
254
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:44,719
Definitely Bing.
255
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,351
It's a good choice.
256
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:01,776
No.
257
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,528
-Come on.
-No.
258
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,946
-Come on!
-No.
259
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,704
-Come on.
-No, no, no, no!
260
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:16,499
Bye.
261
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,558
-Oh! Ouch!
-Hey!
262
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,809
-Are you okay?
-Yeah.
263
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,680
You just made me twist my ankle,
you dipshit.
264
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:33,097
Sorry, I was kind of blinded
by an angelic light.
265
00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,307
It's fine, whatever,
just now I'm on medical leave.
266
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:39,191
-Hey, come on, let me help you.
-Hey, do not touch me. Thank you.
267
00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:57,796
-Thank you.
-Yeah.
268
00:13:58,295 --> 00:13:59,795
Are you okay, Celia?
269
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,880
Uh, yeah, I'm fine.
270
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:06,386
But now I can't run the charity 5K
for canine diabetes this weekend.
271
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,220
Oh! Funny.
272
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:12,939
So, I'm having this intimate after-party
thing at my place. You guys should come.
273
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,652
Yeah, I mean, that's...
274
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,689
She's, you know, but rain check?
275
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,113
That's a shame.
276
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,316
-I'm Shelby, by the way.
-Brooks.
277
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,074
-Hi.
-Hi.
278
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,276
Okay.
279
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:31,407
Well, what do you say there,
Brooksie, my boyfriend,
280
00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:35,205
my protector, my forever love,
shall we get the hell moving?
281
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,671
-Yeah. It was nice to meet you.
-Yeah, you too.
282
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:38,915
Bye.
283
00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:50,175
I mean, a baby in a gas mask?
284
00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:53,524
Oh! Street art is a public disservice.
285
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,061
It's like streaking on a baseball field.
286
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,515
-Trashbug?
-Yeah.
287
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,055
I see his stuff everywhere.
288
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:02,436
I'm pretty sure his next piece is gonna be
the Mona Lisa, but with the fangs.
289
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:06,566
Trashbug, he's just some bored,
privileged white dude, I know it.
290
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,201
How you doing, temperature wise?
Are you comfortable?
291
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,243
You're a real professional.
292
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,697
-Like, is this your stock-in-trade?
-No.
293
00:15:13,787 --> 00:15:16,617
It should be.
I'm telling you, you're really good at it.
294
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:21,207
Troubled rich girls in need of a
chaperone, it could be big business here.
295
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:22,590
You really think so?
296
00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:27,642
No, I'm joking. But, wow,
you are super serious about it, huh?
297
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,388
Okay, you know I could...
298
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:32,636
I could provide a testimonial
for your website.
299
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:37,597
Celia Lieberman says,
"Brooks Rattigan stepped on my ankle,
300
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:39,402
but...
301
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,192
he got me ice."
302
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,033
Much appreciated, thank you.
303
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,044
Wait, hold on. Let me help you.
304
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,293
You seriously do not have to do that.
305
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,706
Wait, come on. Hold on.
306
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,755
I insist. You shouldn't have to walk
to that door by yourself,
307
00:16:05,839 --> 00:16:07,799
especially not with that ankle,
308
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:11,053
which has miraculously shifted
to the other leg.
309
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:11,966
Huh?
310
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:13,811
Miracles happen every day.
311
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:17,516
I had to break into the kitchen
to get you packs of ice.
312
00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:21,109
-You're a sadist.
-One of my more likable qualities.
313
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:23,438
I cannot believe
that I missed Shelby's after-party
because of your dumb, fake ankle injury.
314
00:16:25,859 --> 00:16:27,439
My fake ankle injury was not dumb.
315
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,988
My fake ankle injury was strategic
and adorable.
316
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:33,082
You should be thanking me.
You do not belong at Shelby's party.
317
00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:36,698
Oh, really? Poor kid from Bridgeport
doesn't belong at a Greenwich after party?
318
00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:40,207
Whoa, I didn't even need to try
to push that button.
319
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:43,630
We met, like, four hours ago, remember?
I don't know where you're from.
320
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:48,841
I meant you don't belong there,
because you seem normal.
321
00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:50,264
Whoa. Phew.
322
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,392
The highest compliment one can receive.
323
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,764
Hey, you're back.
324
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,022
Disappear.
325
00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:00,523
Ugh!
326
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,072
-So, how was the dance?
-It was good.
327
00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:08,145
-Oh, thanks for asking.
-Right.
328
00:17:08,652 --> 00:17:10,652
Your daughter is a very...
329
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:14,318
Do not try to define her, Brooks,
it will mess up your early 40s.
330
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,708
Well, there's still the matter of the...
331
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,286
The bounty.
332
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:23,422
Yes.
333
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:25,836
You know what, take all of it.
334
00:17:25,919 --> 00:17:28,129
-Are you sure? That's a lot of money.
-Yeah.
335
00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:31,302
You lasted three hours longer
than we predicted.
336
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:33,474
You earned every Benjamin.
337
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:37,428
All right,
the exterior looks okay.
338
00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:40,394
I mean, you got a couple of smudges
right here, but,
339
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:42,730
it's not too big of a deal.
340
00:17:42,936 --> 00:17:44,056
I don't get it.
341
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,606
Reece, we go to the same school,
your parents aren't rich,
342
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:48,440
-how did you afford this thing?
-Hey, dude...
343
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,065
Dude, some questions
shouldn't be asked, okay?
344
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:57,829
-Yeah, my bad.
-I'm kidding, bro, I'm kidding.
345
00:17:58,452 --> 00:17:59,502
Calm down.
346
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,333
Honestly, it's in the hustle.
347
00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:05,955
It's all in the hustle.
348
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:26,395
Come on, it is classic quid pro quo.
349
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,900
I get the app I need,
and the money I need to go to Yale,
350
00:18:28,982 --> 00:18:31,492
and you get to practice your craft,
the art of coding.
351
00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:34,028
-You haven't even been accepted yet.
-Yet.
352
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:36,163
Look, worst case scenario,
I take the money,
353
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,450
and I get ownership stake
in this here fine establishment.
354
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,495
I can finally live out
my eighth-choice dream
355
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,208
of a being a fast food restaurant owner.
356
00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:45,831
What would you need exactly?
357
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,786
Okay, so I've been thinking and I think
358
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:50,456
that every date would be
custom built by the user,
359
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,876
meaning that they could pick
my personality, my interests,
360
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,715
whether I'm a listener or a talker,
if I'm funny or serious.
361
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:59,141
Basically, I am a stand-in
for whatever it is that they want.
362
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:00,851
Their dream come true.
363
00:19:01,723 --> 00:19:03,603
If it was successful,
364
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,644
that would look good
on my college application.
365
00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:08,267
So does this mean that you're in?
366
00:19:11,441 --> 00:19:12,401
Yes!
367
00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:14,573
I love you so much, Murph.
368
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,033
Wait, what time, what time is it?
369
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,366
-Uh...
-Oh, tuna melt on seven grain!
370
00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:20,026
Did you hear a ding?
371
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:22,367
I think the cheese delivery is here,
would you go check?
372
00:19:22,452 --> 00:19:24,622
-I didn't hear a ding.
-No, I did, yeah.
373
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,207
-I definitely heard it. Go. Now.
-Why are you rushing me, man?
374
00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:32,086
Hi.
375
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,628
I'll take a tuna melt on seven grain,
please.
376
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:37,381
Of course you will.
377
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:43,269
Is it done?
378
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:47,389
Have you ever tried to program an app
on custom Objective-C infrastructure?
379
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,938
You're lucky I was able to salvage
some of this code from another project.
380
00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:56,065
Is that it?
It is done.
381
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:02,533
Murph, this is...
382
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,450
This is perfect.
383
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:09,037
Uh-huh. In terms of functionality,
think GrubHub,
384
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,504
but instead of ordering Pad Thai,
385
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:12,585
they'll be ordering you.
386
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:16,086
And check it out, I created a secondary
app that tracks your progress.
387
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:19,376
As you make more money,
your avatar gets closer to your goal.
388
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,138
I'm calling it MyTraxx.
389
00:20:21,428 --> 00:20:22,758
MyTraxx.
390
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:25,556
There's little Brooks riding it in there,
he looks so innocent.
391
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,141
Yeah, but that's all in the past
because you're a hooker now.
392
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:31,812
-What? No, I'm not. I'm a--
-I guess that makes me your pimp.
393
00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,727
-A high-tech pimp, but a pimp nonetheless.
-No.
394
00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:36,356
I'm a gay teenage pimp,
395
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,855
wearing a secondhand hoodie.
My life as I envisioned it.
396
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,856
I am not gonna be sleeping--
397
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:43,328
Yeah, I know, because if you did,
we'd both go to jail,
398
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:46,498
which rhymes with Yale
and yet is so different,
399
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,788
but you have your new rich friends
to bail you out.
400
00:20:48,872 --> 00:20:51,332
Okay, Murph, first of all,
I don't have any new friends.
401
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,456
Okay? And second of all,
I'm offering my services as a chaperone.
402
00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,552
Whatever, man. What do we do now?
403
00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,756
What one does
when bringing a new product to market?
404
00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:04,683
Talk about it incessantly on Reddit,
until it sounds really important.
405
00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:06,807
What is a Reddit?
406
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:16,315
- What's going on?
-Breakfast for two.
407
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:17,862
Why?
408
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:21,113
Because families eat breakfast together,
even really small ones.
409
00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:23,116
Next year, when you're off to college,
410
00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:26,948
I'll be a family of one,
so now we eat pancakes.
411
00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:30,663
Pancakes.
412
00:21:31,832 --> 00:21:33,042
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.
413
00:21:36,586 --> 00:21:37,416
What is going on?
414
00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:40,344
I haven't seen this look on your face
since Mom let you buy a motorcycle.
415
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:42,224
I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself.
416
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,641
I saw it in the mail this morning
and I just had to open it.
417
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,720
UCONN, you got in, full ride.
418
00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:50,226
I know, you think you got in
because I teach there.
419
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,809
Dad, you teach a continued ed
night class, two Wednesdays a month.
420
00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:54,864
I don't think
that had anything to do with...
421
00:21:56,023 --> 00:21:57,983
Look, I'm sorry, I just...
422
00:21:58,066 --> 00:22:00,606
I haven't worked my ass off
for the past three and a half years
423
00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:01,954
to go to a public college, Dad.
424
00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:06,779
Look, I gotta get to work.
425
00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:10,446
I don't know how you managed it,
but you ruined pancakes.
426
00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:12,161
That's impressive.
427
00:22:35,270 --> 00:22:37,020
Dear Office of Admissions,
428
00:22:37,647 --> 00:22:42,237
My name is Brooks Rattigan
429
00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:44,949
of House Wreck.
430
00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:55,619
Murph, you Prince of Connecticut,
you King of Reddit.
431
00:23:04,925 --> 00:23:08,465
And of course, the whole abstract
expressionist movement
432
00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:10,513
really gained notoriety
from Jackson Pollock,
433
00:23:10,597 --> 00:23:13,557
whose, you know,
influence is clearly present here.
434
00:23:14,101 --> 00:23:15,311
Hmm.
435
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:17,765
♪ I know the score ♪
436
00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:20,147
♪ Like the back of my hand ♪
437
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,735
♪ I don't give a damn ♪
438
00:23:25,570 --> 00:23:26,740
♪ They kiss on the ring ♪
439
00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:29,368
♪ I carry the crown ♪
440
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:37,371
Suck it, Bill and Claire!
441
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:44,167
So, sports, right?
442
00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:46,256
Isn't it interesting how many there are?
443
00:23:46,550 --> 00:23:50,470
And how some use balls and some... don't?
444
00:23:50,554 --> 00:23:52,724
And pucks. There's pucks.
445
00:23:53,723 --> 00:23:55,183
Okay, I'm terrible at this.
446
00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:57,517
I should just never go on a real date,
ever.
447
00:23:57,602 --> 00:23:59,352
No, no, no, no, you're doing great.
448
00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:03,438
♪ I'm the man, come round ♪
449
00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:09,493
♪ You can't break me down ♪
450
00:24:10,157 --> 00:24:12,487
This is one small step for man.
451
00:24:15,662 --> 00:24:19,082
Talk about what you want to talk about,
not what you think I want to talk about.
452
00:24:19,166 --> 00:24:21,076
Yeah, okay, that makes sense.
453
00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:23,168
So, what do you want to talk about?
454
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:28,425
Um, well, this morning I did see
a very large man walking a very tiny dog.
455
00:24:29,217 --> 00:24:30,257
Oh, my God, I...
456
00:24:30,719 --> 00:24:33,139
-I love it when that happens.
-Me too.
457
00:24:33,221 --> 00:24:34,511
♪ I always earn ♪
458
00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:38,694
♪ I got nothing to learn ♪
459
00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:41,350
♪ 'Cause baby, I'm gifted ♪
460
00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:48,697
♪ I'm the man ♪
461
00:24:52,532 --> 00:24:55,622
♪ You can't break me down ♪
462
00:24:55,744 --> 00:24:56,754
Howdy.
463
00:24:58,371 --> 00:24:59,211
Hola.
464
00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:01,710
Hey.
465
00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:07,798
♪ I'm the man ♪
466
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:28,356
Brooks.
467
00:25:28,443 --> 00:25:29,783
Look, I'm not good at apologies,
468
00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:31,911
but I feel I owe you one,
because you're a gentleman
469
00:25:31,988 --> 00:25:33,278
and pretty fun to be around.
470
00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,775
You were just doing your job,
but you were pretty smug too,
so it shouldn't be a whole apology,
but a half apology,
471
00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:40,210
so I'm half sorry, is that cool?
472
00:25:40,288 --> 00:25:41,618
Yeah, I'm sorry, who's this?
473
00:25:41,706 --> 00:25:44,746
Oh, Jeez, sorry, it's Celia.
So do you accept my half apology or not?
474
00:25:45,293 --> 00:25:48,003
Well, you are half forgiven,
but fully admired for the effort.
475
00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:48,918
Well, good,
476
00:25:49,005 --> 00:25:51,335
because I'm in desperate need
of your services.
477
00:25:51,424 --> 00:25:53,644
Oh, God, what's your mom making you go tothis time?
478
00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:56,808
Is it a débutante ball? Ice cream social?
Wait, let me guess.
479
00:25:57,305 --> 00:25:58,465
Is it a horse auction?
480
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,727
Aha. No, yeah, that's pretty accurate.
481
00:26:00,809 --> 00:26:03,059
No, there's this boy I like, Franklin.
482
00:26:03,144 --> 00:26:04,404
Hold on, Celia,
483
00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:05,609
you have a crush?
484
00:26:06,481 --> 00:26:07,981
Is that so hard to believe?
485
00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:11,236
Yes, it is. That's why you're hearing
disbelief in my tone.
486
00:26:11,319 --> 00:26:13,739
Just because I'm a little weird,
doesn't make me less human,
487
00:26:13,822 --> 00:26:15,282
in fact, it makes me more human.
488
00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:17,525
So, there's this partyat Shelby's house tonight--
489
00:26:17,617 --> 00:26:19,407
Yes. Oh, my God, yes.
490
00:26:19,494 --> 00:26:22,124
-A hundred times, yes.
-Whoa, reel it in there, cowboy.
491
00:26:22,205 --> 00:26:23,035
I mean...
492
00:26:23,123 --> 00:26:25,333
I barely wanna go.
493
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:28,087
Yeah, so I'm thinking, listen,we show up as a hot couple,
494
00:26:28,336 --> 00:26:30,126
get Franklin a little jealous,
495
00:26:30,213 --> 00:26:33,053
maybe you can stir up some attention
from Shelby.
496
00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:34,593
So, pick me up at seven.
497
00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:35,716
It's a date.
498
00:26:35,802 --> 00:26:39,062
And Celia, next time
you require my services,
499
00:26:39,639 --> 00:26:41,019
could you use my app?
500
00:26:41,099 --> 00:26:42,309
Oh, my God, you didn't?
501
00:26:42,809 --> 00:26:44,889
Oh, but I did.
502
00:26:51,234 --> 00:26:55,364
Okay, this is way more than
a mints and tiny bottles of water.
503
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:57,367
This is a full-on bespoke
concierge service.
504
00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:58,449
Yes, ma'am.
505
00:26:58,533 --> 00:27:02,003
Okay, so what's the weirdest
Brooks Rattigan you've been thus far?
506
00:27:02,078 --> 00:27:05,038
I had a date the other night, where
I had to just sit on this girl's couch
507
00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:07,503
and listen to her talk for four hours
straight,
508
00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:11,554
and all I was allowed to say was,
"Yes, I agree,"
509
00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:13,510
and "There's no other way to see it."
510
00:27:13,590 --> 00:27:16,220
-My God, that is the perfect date.
-There's no other way to see it.
511
00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:19,601
Hey, thank you.
512
00:27:19,679 --> 00:27:22,809
Son, a couple of things.
The shifter sticks a little bit,
513
00:27:22,891 --> 00:27:25,771
and the passenger window doesn't close
all the way, so watch out for that.
514
00:27:25,852 --> 00:27:29,652
And there's a spring in the seat cushion,
so do not lean all the way back.
515
00:27:33,193 --> 00:27:35,613
Wow. What, does Bruce Wayne live here?
516
00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:38,244
You know, Shelby's dad's basically Batman,
517
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:40,493
if Bruce Wayne was
a sleazy hedge fund manager
518
00:27:40,575 --> 00:27:42,285
with a questionable sense of finance law.
519
00:27:54,130 --> 00:27:54,960
Excuse me.
520
00:27:56,424 --> 00:27:57,384
You guys made it.
521
00:27:57,926 --> 00:27:59,006
Hey.
522
00:27:59,094 --> 00:28:02,224
-Uh, your place is amazing.
-Oh, thank you.
523
00:28:02,305 --> 00:28:03,845
It really makes me reconsider the allure
524
00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:06,232
of living in a three-room house
with a view of Target.
525
00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:11,229
Oh, he's kidding, obviously.
Brooks is from Darien.
526
00:28:11,731 --> 00:28:13,111
Oh, my God, I love it there.
527
00:28:13,191 --> 00:28:15,071
It's just so beautiful,
528
00:28:15,151 --> 00:28:17,611
it makes this neighborhood
look like a shanty town.
529
00:28:18,446 --> 00:28:21,196
Could you excuse me for one moment?
530
00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:23,242
It seems the family dog escaped his room.
531
00:28:23,326 --> 00:28:24,286
Don't go anywhere.
532
00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:25,999
I wouldn't want to get lost.
533
00:28:26,913 --> 00:28:27,753
-Dad.
-What?
534
00:28:28,581 --> 00:28:30,211
I'm in trouble.
535
00:28:31,376 --> 00:28:32,496
Darien? Really?
536
00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:35,918
Hey, this is Shelby Pace we're trying
to impress here.
537
00:28:36,464 --> 00:28:38,134
Either go big or go home, son.
538
00:28:41,469 --> 00:28:43,469
Oh, my God, that's Franklin.
Abort, let's go.
539
00:28:43,555 --> 00:28:45,305
This is the whole reason that we're here.
540
00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:48,060
I know, but I just didn't expect
to see him so soon,
541
00:28:48,143 --> 00:28:51,353
I thought I'd have some time to,
I don't know, like clutch my bearings.
542
00:28:51,438 --> 00:28:53,188
Relax. Okay, which one is he?
543
00:28:53,815 --> 00:28:56,525
-Is he the guy in the yellow shirt?
-Yes, stop being so obvious.
544
00:28:56,609 --> 00:28:58,319
-He's cute.
-Stop it.
545
00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:00,073
Pretend to have a conversation with me.
546
00:29:04,451 --> 00:29:07,871
We could also have a real conversation,
that might be way less weird.
547
00:29:07,954 --> 00:29:09,504
Fine, whatever, you start.
548
00:29:09,622 --> 00:29:10,462
Um...
549
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:12,880
Where are you planning
on going to college?
550
00:29:12,959 --> 00:29:14,749
Uh, University of Michigan.
551
00:29:14,836 --> 00:29:17,546
Wait, you're not going Ivy League?
Isn't that, like, your birthright?
552
00:29:17,630 --> 00:29:19,260
Please, you see this?
553
00:29:19,340 --> 00:29:20,180
Uh-huh.
554
00:29:20,258 --> 00:29:23,468
This is the precise number of shits I give
about the Ivy League.
555
00:29:23,803 --> 00:29:25,763
Well, I give many more shits than that.
556
00:29:27,891 --> 00:29:29,641
You know, if you want to go talk to him,
557
00:29:29,726 --> 00:29:31,096
you should just go talk to him.
558
00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:33,516
I know, I'm working up to it.
559
00:29:34,522 --> 00:29:36,612
-This is ridiculous, come on.
-Stop it.
560
00:29:36,691 --> 00:29:38,691
You're making it worse by making a scene.
561
00:29:39,152 --> 00:29:42,282
-You are such a brute.
-It's one of my more likable qualities.
562
00:29:42,822 --> 00:29:45,122
Have you seen this collection?
She is a music fiend,
563
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:46,790
always going on and on about bands.
564
00:29:46,868 --> 00:29:49,368
Bands that I've never heard of,
so you know they're cool, right?
Not in like a mainstream way cool,
more like a subversive.
565
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:53,330
Tell him.
566
00:29:54,709 --> 00:29:56,839
I like music and records.
567
00:29:56,920 --> 00:30:00,340
Me too. I mean, vinyl
is the only pure delivery method, right?
568
00:30:02,675 --> 00:30:05,465
Yeah, I'm always saying that.
569
00:30:06,012 --> 00:30:08,772
Music should only be listened to
570
00:30:08,848 --> 00:30:11,938
on melted and then pressed vinyl discs.
571
00:30:12,018 --> 00:30:15,018
There are kids our age, they've never even
heard a vinyl record before.
572
00:30:15,104 --> 00:30:17,364
They don't know
what they're missing,
573
00:30:18,191 --> 00:30:19,481
or worse,
574
00:30:19,567 --> 00:30:20,567
they do.
575
00:30:26,157 --> 00:30:28,697
You know your girlfriend is over there
talking to Franklin Volley?
576
00:30:28,785 --> 00:30:31,655
Everything is so compressed on digital,
it's like drinking a frozen OJ
577
00:30:31,746 --> 00:30:33,326
instead of a fresh-squeezed OJ.
578
00:30:34,290 --> 00:30:38,130
Yeah, it's okay, we trust each other.
I'm not really the jealous type.
579
00:30:38,211 --> 00:30:41,301
-How refreshing.
-Well, I aim to refresh.
580
00:30:44,384 --> 00:30:46,144
-You're funny.
-Me?
581
00:30:46,219 --> 00:30:49,139
Most guys I know don't realize
they can be both rich and funny.
582
00:30:49,222 --> 00:30:51,772
Well, you can, I'm obviously living proof.
583
00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:00,396
Hey.
584
00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:03,282
They have a separate freezer
for ice cream.
585
00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:05,321
I was alone in the kitchen
and started to applaud.
586
00:31:05,405 --> 00:31:09,405
-Mm.
-So, we have Boom Chocolotta
587
00:31:09,492 --> 00:31:10,702
and plain old vanilla.
588
00:31:10,785 --> 00:31:11,695
Oh, thank you.
589
00:31:13,079 --> 00:31:14,459
-Really?
-Yo.
590
00:31:14,539 --> 00:31:16,709
Don't knock vanilla, okay? It's a...
591
00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:19,092
It seems a little boring, I give you that,
592
00:31:19,168 --> 00:31:21,668
but there's a lot of nuance flavors
hiding inside.
593
00:31:21,754 --> 00:31:23,304
-Hm.
-Mm.
594
00:31:23,381 --> 00:31:24,421
Kind of like you.
595
00:31:25,758 --> 00:31:28,388
-Wow, so I'm vanilla.
-Yeah.
596
00:31:28,469 --> 00:31:31,639
Somehow you always manage to compliment
and insult me at the same time.
597
00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:34,063
It's a hereditary gift, on my mom's side.
598
00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:36,687
Where's Franklin?
599
00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:40,269
Oh, he's somewhere.
I don't really wanna see that much of him.
600
00:31:40,356 --> 00:31:42,186
-What?
-Before our date.
What? Franklin asked you out?
That's great.
601
00:31:44,861 --> 00:31:46,361
No, actually, I asked him out,
602
00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:49,866
because I am the master of my universe,
and yeah, it's pretty great.
603
00:31:51,242 --> 00:31:54,502
Oh, separate but related, it gives us
a pretty good reason for our breakup.
-I see your game, you meet someone new.
-Hit it and quit it, baby.
604
00:31:59,626 --> 00:32:03,166
Okay, there's this huge birthday party
that's supposed to happen in a few weeks,
605
00:32:03,254 --> 00:32:05,634
and everyone's gonna be there,
including your girl, Shelby.
606
00:32:06,466 --> 00:32:09,546
Just the breakup has to be public,
like very public.
607
00:32:09,636 --> 00:32:12,136
Can you imagine if I date Shelby
and get into Yale?
608
00:32:12,221 --> 00:32:14,771
I mean, that would be it,
that would be my dream come true.
609
00:32:14,849 --> 00:32:16,019
Oh, God, I feel bad for you.
610
00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:18,980
You're just relying on external factors
for your happiness,
611
00:32:19,062 --> 00:32:22,322
waiting for people to accept you
instead of accepting yourself.
612
00:32:22,398 --> 00:32:23,978
I mean, what could go wrong?
613
00:32:24,067 --> 00:32:26,647
Isn't that exactly
what you're doing with Franklin?
614
00:32:28,488 --> 00:32:30,408
-You're just jealous.
-Of what?
615
00:32:30,490 --> 00:32:34,700
Um, my connection with Franklin.
It's more cerebral.
616
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:35,656
Please.
617
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,620
Like you're not at all interested in him
'cause he's hot.
618
00:32:38,706 --> 00:32:40,376
Whoa, his brain is hot, okay?
619
00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:43,248
I can just picture his gorgeous
frontal lobe.
620
00:32:46,464 --> 00:32:48,934
-Gross.
-Yeah, that was unintentionally gross.
621
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:53,814
Fine, I like him because of his brains
and, you know,
622
00:32:53,888 --> 00:32:55,468
the beautiful face that's attached to it.
623
00:32:55,556 --> 00:32:57,846
There you go,
so we're both shallow teenagers.
624
00:32:57,934 --> 00:32:59,024
It would appear so.
625
00:33:00,103 --> 00:33:01,273
-You're really sweet.
-Yeah.
626
00:33:01,354 --> 00:33:03,904
-Can I have some of that, please?
-Whoa! No! No way.
627
00:33:08,528 --> 00:33:11,908
So, I might be able to help.
My dad knows the president.
628
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:14,120
-Of what country?
-Of Yale.
629
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,620
Um, they've been playing poker,
like forever,
630
00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:19,333
and I guess my dad's been losing to him
for ten years,
631
00:33:19,414 --> 00:33:20,674
in case I ever wanted to go.
632
00:33:20,748 --> 00:33:22,958
So, the fact I don't wanna go
is kind of a sore point.
633
00:33:23,042 --> 00:33:24,882
I don't get it,
rich people all know each other.
634
00:33:24,961 --> 00:33:27,761
-I don't even know who my barber is.
-Okay, do you want my help or not?
635
00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:29,049
Yes. A hundred times, yes.
636
00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:31,512
Well, no promises,
but I can check with him.
637
00:33:32,051 --> 00:33:33,761
What? Are you serious? Wow.
638
00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:37,097
Thank you. All I got for you is wow.
639
00:33:37,181 --> 00:33:38,681
Well, I'm a woman of much wow.
640
00:33:38,766 --> 00:33:41,226
Hey, man,
I'll give you 50 bucks for your car.
641
00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:46,232
-Oh, you think that's funny?
-Yeah, I do.
642
00:33:49,068 --> 00:33:50,448
-Hey.
-Hey.
643
00:33:50,695 --> 00:33:51,525
Whoa.
644
00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:52,856
What's with the get-up?
645
00:33:53,239 --> 00:33:57,369
Uh, I figured if I'm going to Yale,
I'd better start stepping it up.
646
00:33:57,452 --> 00:34:00,252
Hey, what's going on
with all the late nights lately?
647
00:34:00,329 --> 00:34:05,879
Uh, you know, the usual teenage stuff,
school projects, dances, 24-hour raves.
648
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:07,550
Hm. Atta boy.
649
00:34:07,628 --> 00:34:10,918
Do you think you could clean up one day?
I mean, it's starting to look a little...
650
00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:13,126
condemned in here.
651
00:34:13,217 --> 00:34:14,387
I'm gonna get to it.
652
00:34:14,469 --> 00:34:16,259
I could help you, if you want.
653
00:34:16,345 --> 00:34:17,385
I think I do.
654
00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:20,099
And actually, you have helped.
655
00:34:20,183 --> 00:34:22,813
I submitted a collection
of my short stories of this fellowship,
656
00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:25,944
because you were
so terribly and vividly mean to me.
657
00:34:26,522 --> 00:34:28,612
So, thank you for being a supportive
658
00:34:29,108 --> 00:34:30,108
asshole.
659
00:34:31,110 --> 00:34:31,940
Anytime.
660
00:34:33,988 --> 00:34:35,698
-Good night, Pops.
-Good night, buddy.
661
00:34:43,414 --> 00:34:46,504
Hey, look, little Brooks is almost
a third of the way to his goal.
662
00:34:46,584 --> 00:34:50,134
If I keep getting business like this, I'm
gonna be at little Yale by the summertime.
663
00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:52,670
That's great, man. Really.
664
00:34:53,299 --> 00:34:54,379
What is that? What...
665
00:34:55,259 --> 00:34:56,339
You seem distant.
666
00:34:57,053 --> 00:34:59,723
Well, I guess I am.
667
00:35:00,306 --> 00:35:03,726
We just usually have stuff to talk about,
because we spend time together,
668
00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:05,190
or we used to.
669
00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:08,859
So, distance is making us distant,
which makes sense to me.
670
00:35:10,608 --> 00:35:11,478
Huh.
671
00:35:11,818 --> 00:35:14,568
But it's fine, really. We're gonna grow
apart when we go to college,
672
00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:16,704
so we might as well
get the process started now.
673
00:35:18,449 --> 00:35:19,369
Okay, well,
674
00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:20,700
how about this?
675
00:35:20,785 --> 00:35:22,535
I'm totally
booked out tonight and tomorrow,
676
00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:25,960
but I am completely free on Saturday
and I will make sure it stays that way,
677
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:27,920
if you promise to go to Tino's with me.
678
00:35:29,001 --> 00:35:29,921
Count me in.
679
00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:33,053
Oh, hey, can we hit that new
zombie-themed escape room afterwards?
680
00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:34,261
Yes, I am in.
681
00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:35,170
All right.
682
00:35:36,300 --> 00:35:37,260
Hello again.
683
00:35:37,343 --> 00:35:40,053
-Hey, I'll take a--
-Tuna melt on seven grain.
684
00:35:40,138 --> 00:35:40,968
Yeah.
685
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:44,349
-Uh, thanks.
-Murph is my given name.
686
00:35:45,017 --> 00:35:46,937
Oh, I guess I gotta give you this.
687
00:35:47,019 --> 00:35:49,559
I just remembered that
this is when you usually come by.
688
00:35:49,647 --> 00:35:52,437
-Yeah.
-We get paid a dollar above minimum wage,
689
00:35:52,525 --> 00:35:55,105
so we're encouraged
to provide top service.
690
00:35:55,194 --> 00:35:58,494
Uh, well, thanks, Murph.
691
00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:04,869
-What?
-You were blushing.
692
00:36:04,954 --> 00:36:07,004
Who is that? Huh?
693
00:36:07,081 --> 00:36:09,921
Hey, yo, I work at White Castle, okay?
You know what that means,
694
00:36:10,001 --> 00:36:12,461
I see some of the finest bitches
in the world every damn day,
695
00:36:12,962 --> 00:36:17,052
and, Pops, I gotta tell you
with the utmost respect,
696
00:36:17,508 --> 00:36:18,468
your daughter,
697
00:36:18,551 --> 00:36:22,601
she's got to be one of the finest bitches
I have ever seen in my entire life,
698
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,310
and I've been to the Westminster Dog Show,
okay? All right.
699
00:36:30,688 --> 00:36:32,398
I have to take the browns
to the Super Bowl,
700
00:36:32,481 --> 00:36:34,781
and by that I mean
I gotta take a hot deuce,right?
701
00:36:34,859 --> 00:36:36,399
Daddy-o, where the bathroom at?
702
00:36:36,777 --> 00:36:38,737
It's down the hall on the left.
703
00:36:38,821 --> 00:36:39,661
Ooph.
704
00:36:41,574 --> 00:36:42,704
I love you, baby.
705
00:36:47,121 --> 00:36:48,211
Hey, Celia.
706
00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:50,169
What's up, Vanilla? What are you up to?
707
00:36:50,249 --> 00:36:52,879
I'm getting paid to be a douche
to a girl's parents,
708
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,050
so that they're more accepting of her real
boyfriend when they actually meet him.
709
00:36:56,130 --> 00:36:58,090
Um, parents have it hard.
710
00:36:58,674 --> 00:37:00,934
What are you doing tomorrow?Like early afternoonish?
711
00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:04,100
What, for my best customer?
I'm totally free. Why, what's up?
712
00:37:04,430 --> 00:37:05,680
I may have got you an interview
713
00:37:05,765 --> 00:37:08,475
with the Deanof Undergraduate Admissions at Yale.
714
00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:10,389
Oh, my God, Celia,
I don't know what to say.
715
00:37:10,478 --> 00:37:11,728
Well, why don't you try?
716
00:37:11,812 --> 00:37:15,192
Celia Lieberman, you make flowers blossom.
717
00:37:15,274 --> 00:37:17,994
You are the reason trees have leaves.
718
00:37:18,903 --> 00:37:20,323
You are a goddess.
719
00:37:20,404 --> 00:37:23,244
Aw! That is absolutely correct.
720
00:37:23,324 --> 00:37:25,794
-What time should I pick you up?
-You shouldn't.
721
00:37:25,868 --> 00:37:28,698
This is your day, but it's my rules,so I'm gonna pick you up at one.
722
00:37:29,622 --> 00:37:31,082
I'll text you my address.
723
00:37:31,624 --> 00:37:32,754
Bye.
724
00:37:45,763 --> 00:37:48,683
Woo hoo! Yo, man, that number two
turned to a number five real quick.
725
00:37:48,766 --> 00:37:49,976
Where the plunger at?
726
00:38:00,361 --> 00:38:02,991
What? I'm trying to look smart.
Do I look too smart?
727
00:38:03,656 --> 00:38:05,776
It looks like someone
took a J. Crew store,
728
00:38:05,866 --> 00:38:07,946
put it in a cannon
and shot it at your face.
729
00:38:08,035 --> 00:38:10,155
Thank you, so much.
I mean, what do I do?
730
00:38:10,246 --> 00:38:11,326
I don't understand clothes.
731
00:38:11,414 --> 00:38:13,504
They're completely irrelevant
yet somehow important.
732
00:38:13,582 --> 00:38:14,712
Lose the glasses.
733
00:38:14,792 --> 00:38:16,922
Go on, give it to me.
Okay, that's better.
734
00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:19,633
Do you need the cardigan?
I'm gonna answer that. You don't need it.
735
00:38:19,714 --> 00:38:21,264
-I like the cardigan.
-No one likes it.
736
00:38:21,340 --> 00:38:24,550
-Intellectual people wear cardigans.
-You do not look intellectual.
737
00:38:24,635 --> 00:38:26,345
For the love of God, come on.
738
00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:30,638
Oh, you know, what you do need though,
you need a mani.
739
00:38:31,017 --> 00:38:33,057
That is a fight for another day,
my friend.
740
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:36,564
Wow, who would have thought that
Celia Lieberman could be so comforting?
741
00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:39,897
It's like underneath all these layers
of angst and sarcasm,
742
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,904
there might actually be a human being.
743
00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:46,163
Oh.
744
00:38:48,451 --> 00:38:49,411
Thank you.
745
00:38:52,204 --> 00:38:53,164
You're welcome.
746
00:38:59,128 --> 00:39:01,128
♪ I live my own life ♪
747
00:39:01,255 --> 00:39:03,125
♪ Tie me to the tracks ♪
748
00:39:03,215 --> 00:39:05,505
♪ I let my best friend tell me ♪
749
00:39:05,593 --> 00:39:07,723
♪ You can never go back ♪
750
00:39:09,263 --> 00:39:14,313
♪ I spent my long yearsLearning to get out of the way ♪
751
00:39:18,689 --> 00:39:20,819
♪ Follow the path to ♪
752
00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:25,200
♪ Lead me to the lightBut when your load gets heavy ♪
753
00:39:25,279 --> 00:39:27,569
♪ Maybe call it a night ♪
754
00:39:28,449 --> 00:39:33,869
♪ Roll it around andtake it from the bottom again ♪
755
00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:41,341
Hey, relax.
756
00:39:41,420 --> 00:39:43,090
All you gotta do is be yourself.
757
00:39:43,923 --> 00:39:47,223
I mean, not this annoying,
anxious version,
758
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:48,720
the better version.
759
00:39:50,179 --> 00:39:55,059
I have been an astronaut, a cowboy
and a douche, all in the past three days,
760
00:39:55,142 --> 00:39:57,942
so I don't know which version of myself
I'm supposed to be right now.
761
00:39:58,020 --> 00:39:58,900
Brooks Rattigan.
762
00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:01,017
Dean's ready for you now.
763
00:40:04,985 --> 00:40:05,815
-Hi.
-Hi.
764
00:40:06,529 --> 00:40:07,659
- Hey.
-Yeah?
765
00:40:08,197 --> 00:40:09,447
You're gonna kill it.
766
00:40:10,699 --> 00:40:11,529
You know,
767
00:40:12,201 --> 00:40:13,411
unless you don't.
768
00:40:21,627 --> 00:40:23,417
Mr. Rattigan, a pleasure to meet you.
769
00:40:23,504 --> 00:40:25,214
-Take a seat.
-Yes, sure.
770
00:40:26,882 --> 00:40:30,592
So, tell me about yourself.
771
00:40:30,970 --> 00:40:32,300
Yeah, I'd love to.
772
00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:35,138
What says more about a person
than numbers, right?
773
00:40:35,724 --> 00:40:38,234
So, the first time I took the SAT
I got a 1510,
774
00:40:38,310 --> 00:40:40,980
and that was because I butchered
the math section, but
775
00:40:41,063 --> 00:40:44,113
I knuckled down,
and I put work over parties,
776
00:40:44,692 --> 00:40:47,902
and I managed to bump it up to a 1570
on my second time around.
777
00:40:48,571 --> 00:40:49,861
That's too bad.
I'm sorry?
778
00:40:52,408 --> 00:40:55,288
Well, that you missed out on parties.
Parties are fun.
779
00:40:55,870 --> 00:40:58,790
It's important to enjoy life,
especially at your age.
780
00:40:58,873 --> 00:41:03,503
With respect, it's not exactly the message
that we get from our parents and teachers.
781
00:41:03,586 --> 00:41:05,046
I grant you that, yeah.
782
00:41:05,921 --> 00:41:06,761
Well...
783
00:41:07,047 --> 00:41:10,627
Mr. Rattigan, academically speaking, you
seem like the perfect candidate for Yale.
784
00:41:11,177 --> 00:41:13,097
Thank you, sir.
Coming from you that means a lot.
785
00:41:13,179 --> 00:41:15,889
But I want to know
a little something about you.
786
00:41:15,973 --> 00:41:18,603
Tell me something about yourself,
activities, hobbies.
787
00:41:18,684 --> 00:41:22,864
Sure, well I'm in French Club,
I'm a National Honors Society, and--
788
00:41:22,938 --> 00:41:23,768
No.
789
00:41:24,398 --> 00:41:26,688
No, I don't mean the things that you do,
790
00:41:26,775 --> 00:41:28,985
because you think they look good
on an application.
791
00:41:29,069 --> 00:41:32,239
What are some of your interests
outside of school?
792
00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:33,873
Outside of school?
793
00:41:33,949 --> 00:41:37,539
Example, I had a kid in here yesterday,
right there,
794
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:41,500
and he breeds trash-eating microbes
in his spare time.
795
00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:43,831
It's fascinating stuff.
796
00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:48,380
I don't... breed trash-eating microbes.
797
00:41:48,464 --> 00:41:52,054
I don't really breed microbes at all,
but I do have hobbies,
798
00:41:52,218 --> 00:41:55,098
and interests. I mean, so many of those.
799
00:41:58,307 --> 00:42:03,147
There is this thing,
but I think you'll find it stupid.
800
00:42:03,229 --> 00:42:04,899
No, what? What is it?
801
00:42:04,980 --> 00:42:06,980
Well lately, I've been getting into
802
00:42:08,609 --> 00:42:09,859
honey bees.
803
00:42:11,195 --> 00:42:12,195
I don't...
804
00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:13,987
I'm sorry,
805
00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:16,533
did you just say, "Honey bees?"
806
00:42:16,617 --> 00:42:17,537
Yeah.
807
00:42:17,618 --> 00:42:20,118
Yeah, I'm a bit of an amateur beekeeper.
808
00:42:20,204 --> 00:42:23,754
-I know, it sounds silly.
-No, it doesn't sound silly at all, to me.
809
00:42:24,959 --> 00:42:26,919
I'm a bit of an apiarist myself.
810
00:42:27,503 --> 00:42:30,013
-No kidding.
-Yes.
811
00:42:30,589 --> 00:42:32,629
Wow, what a small world.
812
00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:34,337
Tell me, what's your bee of choice?
813
00:42:34,426 --> 00:42:36,046
I used to be all about the Russian bees,
814
00:42:36,470 --> 00:42:40,100
but then I found that their swarminess
tended to be a little too--
815
00:42:40,182 --> 00:42:41,182
Unpredictable.
816
00:42:41,267 --> 00:42:44,557
Unpredictable, that's right.
So, now I'm a Buckfast man all the way.
817
00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:47,395
-They have so much more foraging zeal.
-Yes.
818
00:42:47,940 --> 00:42:53,700
Uh, and, you know, don't get me started
on their resistance to tracheal mites.
819
00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:55,860
Huh.
820
00:42:56,198 --> 00:42:57,658
Tracheal mites.
821
00:42:58,784 --> 00:43:01,914
As soon as you get that application done,
you bring it into me personally, okay?
822
00:43:01,996 --> 00:43:03,406
-Not my secretary.
-I will, sir.
823
00:43:03,497 --> 00:43:05,207
-Sir, call me Delbert, please.
-Okay.
824
00:43:05,291 --> 00:43:07,881
And when you come by,
don't forget to bring a jar of your honey.
825
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:09,590
As long as you bring a jar of your honey,
we can have ourselves a little honey swap.
826
00:43:11,672 --> 00:43:13,012
Honey swap.
827
00:43:13,090 --> 00:43:14,300
I love it.
828
00:43:14,383 --> 00:43:17,223
It was a pleasure meeting you,
Mr. Rattigan, truly.
829
00:43:17,303 --> 00:43:18,893
The pleasure was mine, Delbert.
830
00:43:24,518 --> 00:43:28,308
Thank you so much for setting this up. It
went better than I could have imagined it.
831
00:43:28,397 --> 00:43:30,227
Well, happy to help. Just...
832
00:43:30,899 --> 00:43:32,859
just one little tiny question.
833
00:43:33,444 --> 00:43:36,034
Why exactly are you guys swapping honey?
834
00:43:38,157 --> 00:43:39,367
What, is that unusual?
835
00:43:40,576 --> 00:43:41,536
I can't believe you.
836
00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:43,659
What? I did some research
before my interview, okay?
837
00:43:43,746 --> 00:43:46,956
Hold on a second. What is the difference
between me spouting a few beekeeping facts
838
00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:49,711
and any of the Stand-In dates
that I've been on? Huh?
839
00:43:49,793 --> 00:43:52,463
You know that I'm not an art historian
or a douche, right?
840
00:43:52,546 --> 00:43:55,876
No, actually I don't know that,
and this is completely different.
841
00:43:55,966 --> 00:43:59,386
Those girls paid you to lie to them,
and this time you did it all on your own.
842
00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:02,060
Look, it is hustle, baby, pure hustle.
843
00:44:02,139 --> 00:44:03,809
Oh, God, please don't ever say that again.
844
00:44:03,891 --> 00:44:06,601
It did sound a little bit better
coming out of Reece's mouth.
845
00:44:06,685 --> 00:44:09,645
Wait, Reece? My cousin, Reece?
What does he know about hustle?
846
00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:10,900
It's how he got his BMW.
847
00:44:10,981 --> 00:44:13,981
Brooks, Reece got his car
because his dad started having an affair
848
00:44:14,068 --> 00:44:16,818
with his sister's JV tennis coach,
and his mom found out about it,
849
00:44:16,904 --> 00:44:19,744
so she starts sleeping with the dude
who owns a bunch of BMW dealerships,
850
00:44:19,823 --> 00:44:21,533
hence the BMW.
851
00:44:22,785 --> 00:44:24,615
-What, so no hustle?
-No.
852
00:44:24,703 --> 00:44:25,953
You're telling me
853
00:44:26,288 --> 00:44:29,038
that Reece got a brand new BMW i8,
because
854
00:44:29,958 --> 00:44:31,458
his parents are shitty people?
855
00:44:31,543 --> 00:44:34,673
Yeah. So, maybe you should rethink
who your role models are.
856
00:44:37,591 --> 00:44:40,341
-What about Shelby and Franklin?
-What about Shelby and Franklin?
857
00:44:40,427 --> 00:44:43,847
You don't know the first thing about
vinyl, and I am certainly not from Darien.
858
00:44:44,348 --> 00:44:48,348
Okay? These are the lies that both of us
made up to get what we want.
859
00:44:52,648 --> 00:44:53,728
Hmm.
860
00:44:53,816 --> 00:44:58,606
Storming off, fantastic. That's what
people who're right and not hypocrites do.
861
00:44:58,696 --> 00:45:00,776
Speak more words and I'll hurt you.
862
00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:14,836
-Maybe you're right.
-About which thing? There were a couple.
863
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:17,010
Maybe I am a hypocrite, okay?
864
00:45:20,342 --> 00:45:22,762
My parents say that I stomp around
865
00:45:23,137 --> 00:45:24,597
in my boots looking tough...
866
00:45:26,140 --> 00:45:27,350
to push people away,
867
00:45:28,016 --> 00:45:29,016
because
868
00:45:30,436 --> 00:45:34,356
I'm too scared to show people
who I really am.
869
00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:40,900
Oh, God, if anyone actually heard me
saying this.
870
00:45:45,325 --> 00:45:48,115
-Yeah, you know what I mean.
-You're gonna be fine, okay?
871
00:45:48,203 --> 00:45:49,873
You are Celia Lieberman.
872
00:45:49,955 --> 00:45:53,745
And being weird and confident are not
mutually exclusive elements to life.
873
00:45:53,834 --> 00:45:55,594
You happen to be a master of both of them.
874
00:45:56,170 --> 00:45:58,300
-Do you really mean that?
-Yes.
875
00:46:01,008 --> 00:46:02,588
-Thanks.
-You are welcome.
876
00:46:04,470 --> 00:46:06,810
So, I can Brooks' house
from across the street,
877
00:46:06,889 --> 00:46:09,349
and sitting beside the outgoing mailbox,
878
00:46:09,433 --> 00:46:11,353
there's this big flimsy cardboard box,
879
00:46:11,435 --> 00:46:16,015
with like 20 postage stamps stuck to it
and just one word written across the top,
880
00:46:16,106 --> 00:46:17,146
Idaho.
881
00:46:17,232 --> 00:46:20,742
So, the mailman picks it up,
and immediately the box gives out,
882
00:46:20,819 --> 00:46:24,239
and little six-year-old Brooks
slips out the bottom,
883
00:46:24,323 --> 00:46:25,873
and hits the pavement like, "Bam!"
884
00:46:26,492 --> 00:46:29,202
I'm hiding across the street
watching it all, like...
885
00:46:30,037 --> 00:46:34,367
-Just laughing my ass off.
-Okay, wait, so what did you do?
886
00:46:34,458 --> 00:46:37,628
I mean the only thing that I could do is
"Good afternoon, Mr. Postman,"
887
00:46:37,711 --> 00:46:40,051
and I grabbed my backpack
and went back inside my house.
888
00:46:40,672 --> 00:46:43,472
I can't believe you tried
to mail yourself to Idaho.
889
00:46:43,550 --> 00:46:45,930
-Thanks, Brooks.
-Thank you so much. I got this.
890
00:46:46,011 --> 00:46:47,431
-Thank you.
-Yeah, of course.
891
00:46:47,513 --> 00:46:49,433
-Nice guy.
-Fancy man.
892
00:46:51,809 --> 00:46:54,769
Okay, so of all places, why Idaho?
893
00:46:55,854 --> 00:46:57,444
It's where his mom lives.
894
00:46:57,523 --> 00:47:00,903
Yeah, she's married
to some rich pediatrician
895
00:47:00,984 --> 00:47:04,664
or rich plastic surgeon,
rich pediatric plastic surgeon.
896
00:47:05,322 --> 00:47:07,072
And they have two kids together
897
00:47:08,492 --> 00:47:10,952
and every year they send Brooks
and his dad a Christmas card
898
00:47:11,578 --> 00:47:13,958
with a picture of her whole new family.
899
00:47:14,873 --> 00:47:17,133
You know, which to me,
seems totally screwed up.
900
00:47:24,216 --> 00:47:25,376
See you, Tino!
901
00:47:25,509 --> 00:47:26,389
Tino!
902
00:47:31,265 --> 00:47:33,475
-Was that tuna melt on seven grain?
-If only.
903
00:47:33,767 --> 00:47:37,187
-Uh? Tuna melt on seven grain?
-It's nothing.
904
00:47:37,271 --> 00:47:40,821
Murph here has a little crush
on one of the Sub shop regulars.
905
00:47:40,899 --> 00:47:42,939
We don't know his name,
so we call him by his order.
906
00:47:43,026 --> 00:47:44,566
He hasn't been in the shop for a week.
907
00:47:44,653 --> 00:47:47,323
I think I scared him off
by pre-making his sandwich.
908
00:47:47,406 --> 00:47:49,316
Aw, you pre-made his sandwich?
909
00:47:49,408 --> 00:47:51,788
-That is adorable.
-Listen, you're gonna be fine.
910
00:47:51,869 --> 00:47:53,369
He'll show up, and if not,
911
00:47:53,620 --> 00:47:54,790
who cares, right?
912
00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:58,832
You are going to find the right sandwich
one day, my friend.
913
00:47:58,917 --> 00:48:00,627
That is the lamest thing you've ever said.
914
00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:03,761
-Yeah, but you're laughing, aren't you?
-Get away from me, get away.
915
00:48:03,839 --> 00:48:06,339
I'm glad someone's getting
something out of my dating life.
916
00:48:06,425 --> 00:48:07,335
Yeah.
917
00:48:08,343 --> 00:48:12,393
All right, Godspeed
to you on your date tonight.
918
00:48:13,515 --> 00:48:14,385
Are you ready to
919
00:48:15,017 --> 00:48:16,227
get some zombies?
920
00:48:17,936 --> 00:48:18,806
I am.
921
00:48:20,689 --> 00:48:22,189
But you seem unenthusiastic.
922
00:48:22,691 --> 00:48:25,441
No, man. I got a request
while we were eating.
923
00:48:25,527 --> 00:48:26,357
Take it.
924
00:48:26,445 --> 00:48:27,605
What? Are you serious?
925
00:48:27,696 --> 00:48:28,566
Really.
926
00:48:28,989 --> 00:48:31,529
All right, thank you.
You're a really good friend.
927
00:48:31,617 --> 00:48:33,117
Hey, good to meet you.
928
00:48:33,201 --> 00:48:34,291
Yeah, you too.
929
00:48:41,668 --> 00:48:43,588
-It was what?
-It was, it was…
930
00:48:50,218 --> 00:48:52,638
- Your insurance must be so high.
- Yeah.
931
00:48:55,474 --> 00:48:56,484
You know what?
932
00:48:56,558 --> 00:48:59,728
Does the master have any advice for me,
for my big date?
933
00:48:59,811 --> 00:49:01,311
Yeah, I do actually.
-Good.
-Don't dance.
934
00:49:03,523 --> 00:49:07,533
-That is so offensive. Get out of my car.
-I was just trying to help you.
935
00:49:07,611 --> 00:49:09,661
You know, today was horrible
936
00:49:10,447 --> 00:49:11,527
until it wasn't.
937
00:49:12,824 --> 00:49:13,704
I agree.
938
00:49:15,035 --> 00:49:19,035
Do me a favor, would you have fun tonight?
Seriously, you're gonna dazzle him.
939
00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:22,375
Unless you don't.
940
00:49:23,126 --> 00:49:24,876
Get out of my car.
941
00:49:25,420 --> 00:49:27,210
-I will drive off.
-Okay.
942
00:49:27,673 --> 00:49:29,763
-Right now.
-I'm out. Have a good night.
943
00:49:33,220 --> 00:49:34,550
The truth about coffee,
944
00:49:35,722 --> 00:49:37,102
it's all in the grind.
945
00:49:37,808 --> 00:49:40,268
It has to be precise or the water,
946
00:49:40,352 --> 00:49:43,772
it seeps through the filter too quickly,
and you end up with a weak-ass brew.
947
00:49:45,065 --> 00:49:47,725
Wow, you know a lot about coffee.
948
00:49:47,818 --> 00:49:49,698
Pour Over is an art form.
949
00:49:49,778 --> 00:49:52,198
It's not like that overly processed
swill you've got.
950
00:49:53,198 --> 00:49:56,118
I don't know,
I kind of like my overly processed swill.
951
00:49:56,535 --> 00:49:57,735
I'm sorry.
952
00:49:59,454 --> 00:50:02,084
I didn't mean to insult you.
I ramble when I'm nervous.
953
00:50:02,749 --> 00:50:04,539
Wait, did you just say you're nervous?
954
00:50:04,626 --> 00:50:06,166
-Of course I am.
-Why?
955
00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:10,013
I don't know if this is a date or not,
because you have a boyfriend.
956
00:50:10,090 --> 00:50:11,760
Oh, Brooks is not...
957
00:50:12,300 --> 00:50:15,510
Um, he is my boyfriend,
and we are dating hard.
958
00:50:15,595 --> 00:50:18,715
We're dating hard,
but, you know, we have, um,
959
00:50:20,058 --> 00:50:23,898
one of those advanced modern
relationships.
960
00:50:23,979 --> 00:50:25,559
We don't belong to anyone.
961
00:50:25,647 --> 00:50:28,187
I watched this Nat Geo doc
about dung beetles,
962
00:50:28,275 --> 00:50:32,065
how they find their mates by analyzing the
movements of a prospective mate's wings,
963
00:50:32,487 --> 00:50:36,987
and if they move in the same specific way,
they know they found their mate.
964
00:50:38,035 --> 00:50:40,905
Watching you and Brooks,
you move the same,
965
00:50:41,246 --> 00:50:43,576
like a couple of adorable dung beetles.
966
00:50:46,168 --> 00:50:47,128
Well,
967
00:50:48,086 --> 00:50:50,456
we're not shit-eating beetles, though.
968
00:50:52,299 --> 00:50:55,969
We're actually gonna be breaking up
very soon. In fact, very soon.
969
00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:57,103
-Okay.
-Um-hmm.
970
00:50:57,929 --> 00:50:59,059
So, I'm encouraged.
971
00:50:59,973 --> 00:51:01,893
-Oh, hi.
-Hey.
972
00:51:03,226 --> 00:51:06,146
So, you're into vinyl,
973
00:51:07,105 --> 00:51:09,815
and you're obviously very passionate
about coffee.
974
00:51:10,108 --> 00:51:11,398
What else are you into?
975
00:51:12,027 --> 00:51:15,527
I'm passionate about a lot of things,
most of all, my art.
976
00:51:16,198 --> 00:51:18,028
That's cool, I like art.
977
00:51:18,116 --> 00:51:20,286
-What's your medium?
-The street.
978
00:51:21,620 --> 00:51:22,450
No.
979
00:51:22,537 --> 00:51:26,207
Actually, you may have seen some
of my stuff, like, around town.
980
00:51:27,042 --> 00:51:27,962
What?
981
00:51:30,462 --> 00:51:31,672
-Oh.
- I'm--
982
00:51:31,755 --> 00:51:32,625
Don't say it.
983
00:51:33,173 --> 00:51:34,513
I'm Trashbug.
984
00:51:35,926 --> 00:51:36,926
You said it.
985
00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:39,054
You said who you are.
986
00:51:39,137 --> 00:51:40,807
-Are you familiar with my work?
-Uh-huh.
987
00:51:40,889 --> 00:51:43,559
Okay, you know how I did like
a baby in a gas mask,
988
00:51:43,642 --> 00:51:45,482
and I did like an old man in gas mask.
989
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:46,480
Oh, yeah.
990
00:51:46,561 --> 00:51:50,151
Right now, I'm working on something
that is going to blow those away.
991
00:51:50,857 --> 00:51:52,437
A cat in a gas mask.
992
00:51:53,860 --> 00:51:57,530
It's a commentary on itself and on
Dr. Seuss. I mean, cats don't wear hats.
993
00:51:58,990 --> 00:52:00,120
That is
994
00:52:01,660 --> 00:52:03,580
a very creative idea.
995
00:52:14,172 --> 00:52:15,092
Dude,
996
00:52:15,173 --> 00:52:18,343
Saturday night was insane. I just can't
tell if it was in a good or bad way.
997
00:52:18,426 --> 00:52:22,596
You think high school parties are crazy,
they have got nothing on office parties.
998
00:52:22,681 --> 00:52:25,351
I saw a drunk guy snort a line
of printer toner.
999
00:52:28,103 --> 00:52:30,193
Thanks again for letting me off the hook.
1000
00:52:31,565 --> 00:52:34,275
Wow, what a great image of our friendship.
1001
00:52:34,359 --> 00:52:35,739
I'm a fisherman,
1002
00:52:35,819 --> 00:52:38,239
reeling you in against your will
to your death.
1003
00:52:38,321 --> 00:52:40,781
That's not how I meant it.
How was your night?
1004
00:52:40,866 --> 00:52:44,536
I was alone, so I got paired with
this group of drunk Germans.
1005
00:52:44,619 --> 00:52:46,449
They didn't speak a word of English,
1006
00:52:46,538 --> 00:52:49,578
so I wasn't included in any of the puzzle
solving, and to top if all off,
1007
00:52:49,666 --> 00:52:51,996
a zombie,
it got me in like the first ten minutes.
1008
00:52:52,419 --> 00:52:54,879
-The zombie actually bit you?
-No.
1009
00:52:55,714 --> 00:52:56,884
One of the Germans did.
1010
00:53:01,636 --> 00:53:04,306
It's not funny, sorry, just...
1011
00:53:06,641 --> 00:53:09,691
It is a little funny.
It's funny, if you think it's funny too.
1012
00:53:09,769 --> 00:53:11,059
But only if you...
1013
00:53:11,605 --> 00:53:13,395
-It's funny. Come on.
-I gotta go to class.
1014
00:53:13,481 --> 00:53:14,321
Murph.
1015
00:53:17,527 --> 00:53:18,697
Murph.
1016
00:53:23,825 --> 00:53:26,405
-Hey.
-No, you do not talk, I do the talking.
1017
00:53:26,494 --> 00:53:27,334
Excuse me?
1018
00:53:27,412 --> 00:53:28,372
I trusted you,
1019
00:53:28,455 --> 00:53:31,625
Celia, and you chewed up that trust
and you spit it in my face.
1020
00:53:31,708 --> 00:53:36,298
-Okay, what the hell is going on?
-I'm practicing for the big show.
1021
00:53:36,379 --> 00:53:39,549
-Come on, did you forget?
-Oh, yeah, our breakup.
1022
00:53:40,008 --> 00:53:44,098
So, I'm thinking that Shelby and Franklin
need to be there when it happens,
1023
00:53:44,179 --> 00:53:45,469
so when we go off on our own,
1024
00:53:45,555 --> 00:53:47,095
they're gonna wanna console us.
1025
00:53:47,182 --> 00:53:50,312
Oh, shit, I almost forgot to ask you,
how did your date go?
1026
00:53:53,730 --> 00:53:54,610
Well,
1027
00:53:55,482 --> 00:53:56,902
it was the...
1028
00:53:57,108 --> 00:53:59,028
start of something great.
1029
00:53:59,110 --> 00:54:00,150
I, for one,
1030
00:54:00,237 --> 00:54:01,777
am super happy for you.
1031
00:54:01,863 --> 00:54:03,823
I am also happy for me
1032
00:54:04,157 --> 00:54:05,027
too.
1033
00:54:05,533 --> 00:54:07,373
-Yay.
-Okay.
1034
00:54:07,452 --> 00:54:09,252
Dope, see ya.
1035
00:54:09,871 --> 00:54:11,121
Yeah, I'll see you later.
1036
00:54:25,804 --> 00:54:27,014
I don't know.
1037
00:54:27,097 --> 00:54:28,177
You don't know what?
1038
00:54:29,182 --> 00:54:31,392
It doesn't really feel like me.
1039
00:54:32,769 --> 00:54:33,979
You look incredible.
1040
00:54:36,731 --> 00:54:42,111
♪ You hold my handAnd tell me it's fine ♪
1041
00:54:42,737 --> 00:54:48,027
♪ It's getting roughBut we're still alive ♪
1042
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:52,160
♪ You hold me closeYour hair against mine ♪
1043
00:54:52,706 --> 00:54:53,666
-Hi.
-Hi.
1044
00:54:54,249 --> 00:54:55,419
-All set?
-Yeah.
1045
00:54:58,169 --> 00:54:59,049
Dressed to kill.
1046
00:55:02,173 --> 00:55:03,303
Nice.
1047
00:55:03,717 --> 00:55:05,757
You know, to kill our fake love.
1048
00:55:06,219 --> 00:55:07,349
Good, that's good.
Tight dress.
1049
00:55:11,474 --> 00:55:13,894
-High heels.
-Cool.
1050
00:55:16,146 --> 00:55:18,056
A live python around my neck.
1051
00:55:18,148 --> 00:55:20,648
Sorry, I'm just trying to figure out
what I'm gonna say tonight.
1052
00:55:20,734 --> 00:55:22,194
You're writing a breakup script?
1053
00:55:22,277 --> 00:55:24,947
Not a breakup script,
more like breakup bullet points.
1054
00:55:25,864 --> 00:55:26,824
Oh, wow.
1055
00:55:27,657 --> 00:55:29,277
Celia, you look great.
1056
00:55:29,367 --> 00:55:30,197
Thanks.
1057
00:55:31,661 --> 00:55:32,581
Where's the snake?
1058
00:55:32,662 --> 00:55:33,542
Ha.
1059
00:55:33,955 --> 00:55:35,535
-What's the plan?
-Right.
1060
00:55:35,623 --> 00:55:37,753
Um, so I was thinking
1061
00:55:38,710 --> 00:55:39,960
you're gonna go in first.
1062
00:55:41,504 --> 00:55:44,094
You walk around, mingle a bit,do your thing.
1063
00:55:45,633 --> 00:55:50,063
Then, at exactly eight o'clock, youstrike up a conversation with Franklin.
1064
00:55:50,430 --> 00:55:53,220
It'll play better if it seemslike I'm catching you in the act.
1065
00:55:53,308 --> 00:55:56,688
You can put a gas mask on anything
and have a real impact on people,
1066
00:55:56,770 --> 00:55:59,360
like Thomas Jefferson, Mr. Rogers,
1067
00:56:00,106 --> 00:56:00,936
the Pope.
1068
00:56:01,649 --> 00:56:02,529
Huh?
1069
00:56:02,817 --> 00:56:03,647
The Pope.
1070
00:56:04,277 --> 00:56:07,317
That is brilliant.
I gotta jot that down.
1071
00:56:07,989 --> 00:56:11,489
You know that story about the guy
who has to push a boulder up a hill?
1072
00:56:11,701 --> 00:56:13,791
Every time it gets to the top
it rolls back down
1073
00:56:13,870 --> 00:56:15,710
and he has to start all over again.
1074
00:56:16,456 --> 00:56:18,246
That's what talking to you is like.
1075
00:56:19,376 --> 00:56:20,286
Thank you.
1076
00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:22,497
So, you're saying I'm like Sisyphus?
1077
00:56:23,213 --> 00:56:24,553
Oh, my God!
1078
00:56:25,006 --> 00:56:27,216
You have a lot of nerve
showing up here with him!
1079
00:56:27,634 --> 00:56:28,514
Okay.
1080
00:56:30,595 --> 00:56:33,845
-What are you talking about?
-You know exactly what I'm talking about.
1081
00:56:33,932 --> 00:56:36,562
-I heard about your little date.
-It was just coffee.
1082
00:56:36,643 --> 00:56:40,313
Please, to quote the great
George Costanza, "Coffee is not coffee,"
1083
00:56:40,397 --> 00:56:42,517
coffee is sex.
1084
00:56:42,690 --> 00:56:44,030
Coffee is better than sex.
1085
00:56:44,567 --> 00:56:46,607
Especially from the rare Kopi Luwak bean.
1086
00:56:47,779 --> 00:56:49,859
You think you're so much better than me,
Celia?
1087
00:56:49,948 --> 00:56:51,738
Better than everyone here,
but I know the truth.
1088
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:53,580
You're nothing but a hypocrite.
1089
00:56:54,160 --> 00:56:54,990
A fake.
1090
00:56:55,078 --> 00:56:58,418
-Hold on a second.
-So you stomp around in those boots,
1091
00:56:58,498 --> 00:57:01,078
and you act so tough,
but that's all it is.
1092
00:57:01,709 --> 00:57:04,089
-It's just an act.
-Brooks, please don't do this.
1093
00:57:04,170 --> 00:57:06,840
A defense mechanism,
see it's a poor attempt
1094
00:57:07,215 --> 00:57:08,585
at pushing people away.
1095
00:57:08,675 --> 00:57:10,965
You're afraid that if somebody
got too close to you,
1096
00:57:11,052 --> 00:57:12,642
they might actually find out the truth.
That Celia Lieberman,
1097
00:57:14,931 --> 00:57:15,851
she's boring.
1098
00:57:17,517 --> 00:57:20,517
You wanna push me away?
Go ahead, cos we're through, baby.
1099
00:57:20,603 --> 00:57:22,023
We are done, we are--
1100
00:57:25,275 --> 00:57:27,065
How's that for a defense mechanism?
1101
00:57:29,863 --> 00:57:31,573
God, I hate these shoes.
1102
00:57:32,949 --> 00:57:33,779
Celia.
1103
00:57:37,287 --> 00:57:39,207
Celia! My dung beetle.
1104
00:57:59,476 --> 00:58:00,306
Brooks.
1105
00:58:03,354 --> 00:58:06,194
-Hey, are you good?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
1106
00:58:06,357 --> 00:58:10,357
Uh, physically I'm fine,
but emotionally I'm...
1107
00:58:10,570 --> 00:58:11,530
a wreck.
1108
00:58:11,613 --> 00:58:14,783
I hate to admit it,
but I kind of saw this one coming.
1109
00:58:14,866 --> 00:58:17,366
I mean, those two were being
really chummy at my party.
1110
00:58:17,869 --> 00:58:20,209
Yeah, well I can be oblivious sometimes.
1111
00:58:20,288 --> 00:58:22,078
Thank you for rubbing that in.
1112
00:58:43,937 --> 00:58:47,727
-So, here's a question.
-Yes, whatever it is, yes.
1113
00:58:49,984 --> 00:58:51,494
Will you go to formal with me?
1114
00:58:54,280 --> 00:58:58,580
I mean, do I have to speak or can you
read my alarming fast heart rate? Yes.
1115
00:59:04,499 --> 00:59:07,539
Hold on, you guys have another formal?
How many does your school have?
1116
00:59:07,627 --> 00:59:10,047
As many that are needed
to fund the new stables.
1117
00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:15,390
Murph, you will never believe what
happened to me. Shelby kissed me.
1118
00:59:15,468 --> 00:59:20,008
Oh, dude, congrats.
I always knew you could do it.
1119
00:59:20,765 --> 00:59:23,425
-Who's Shelby?
-Toby, why are you here? Where's Murph?
1120
00:59:23,518 --> 00:59:25,728
-We switched shifts.
-Why? Is he sick?
1121
00:59:25,812 --> 00:59:28,442
I don't think so,
because it wasn't just for today.
1122
00:59:28,523 --> 00:59:30,573
It was for like the rest of the year.
1123
00:59:30,900 --> 00:59:33,570
-Did he say why?
-No.
1124
00:59:35,196 --> 00:59:39,946
Oh, yeah, you know what,
he did say that you were a selfish prick
1125
00:59:40,034 --> 00:59:43,044
and that you only think about yourself.
1126
00:59:44,831 --> 00:59:48,291
You don't think that has anything
to do with him switching shifts, do you?
1127
00:59:51,087 --> 00:59:53,587
I guess you think
this is pretty pathetic...
1128
00:59:54,465 --> 00:59:56,625
going for a walk with some old lady.
1129
00:59:57,427 --> 01:00:00,637
No, I feel like I actually needed this.
1130
01:00:01,472 --> 01:00:04,932
My granddaughter set this up.
I don't know the first thing about apps,
1131
01:00:05,727 --> 01:00:08,647
unless it's the Bloomin' Onion
at Outback Steakhouse.
1132
01:00:09,939 --> 01:00:11,689
-Now that's a good app.
-Mm-hm.
1133
01:00:13,401 --> 01:00:17,781
My husband and I did this every day
for the past 20 years.
1134
01:00:18,823 --> 01:00:22,123
-He passed away in June.
-I'm so sorry to hear that.
1135
01:00:22,201 --> 01:00:23,291
Oliver.
1136
01:00:23,953 --> 01:00:24,953
That was his name.
1137
01:00:26,664 --> 01:00:28,674
He was ugly as sin.
1138
01:00:29,834 --> 01:00:31,254
His face was weird.
1139
01:00:32,962 --> 01:00:36,972
He had the right sized face
on the wrong sized head.
1140
01:00:38,384 --> 01:00:40,304
Ol' smushy face,
1141
01:00:40,678 --> 01:00:41,968
that's what I called him.
1142
01:00:42,722 --> 01:00:43,852
That's real nice.
1143
01:00:44,974 --> 01:00:46,684
I didn't care what he looked like.
1144
01:00:47,894 --> 01:00:50,864
He made me laugh,
and I liked being around him.
1145
01:00:52,857 --> 01:00:55,647
You want to know how you can tell
if you're meant to be with someone?
1146
01:00:56,736 --> 01:00:58,486
-Please.
-It's simple.
1147
01:00:59,238 --> 01:01:01,278
Just sit and have a conversation.
1148
01:01:02,492 --> 01:01:04,202
Some people when you talk to them,
1149
01:01:04,285 --> 01:01:06,905
it's like trying to listen to
classical music
1150
01:01:06,996 --> 01:01:08,616
on a radio with no antenna.
1151
01:01:08,873 --> 01:01:11,633
You can push that dial back and forth
all you want,
1152
01:01:11,709 --> 01:01:13,249
but you only get static.
1153
01:01:14,587 --> 01:01:17,217
But when you're meant to be
with someone,
1154
01:01:18,007 --> 01:01:19,717
and they truly are the one,
1155
01:01:21,010 --> 01:01:22,220
you just sit,
1156
01:01:22,303 --> 01:01:23,763
start talking,
1157
01:01:24,722 --> 01:01:27,182
and a Beethoven sonata
will begin to play.
1158
01:02:00,383 --> 01:02:03,303
You haven't mentioned the formal, Cel.
It's tomorrow night.
1159
01:02:03,803 --> 01:02:06,013
Do you get a cut of the ticket sales
or something?
1160
01:02:07,056 --> 01:02:09,766
-You are going, right?
-I am actually.
1161
01:02:09,851 --> 01:02:11,231
-With whom?
-Nobody.
1162
01:02:11,644 --> 01:02:12,854
I'm going whom-less.
1163
01:02:12,937 --> 01:02:14,227
What about Brooks?
1164
01:02:14,313 --> 01:02:17,323
I thought you guys were hanging out,
1165
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:19,240
to use the parlance of your time.
1166
01:02:19,318 --> 01:02:21,778
Dad, no. I don't want to go with anybody.
1167
01:02:22,321 --> 01:02:25,031
Not Brooks Rattigan, not Franklin Volley,
nobody.
1168
01:02:25,533 --> 01:02:27,203
-Okay?
-Honey, listen--
1169
01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:28,535
No, Mom, can you listen?
1170
01:02:28,619 --> 01:02:32,539
I have the rest of my life to get hung up
on relationships and dating,
1171
01:02:32,623 --> 01:02:35,133
and "Is he really into me?",
and "What does this text mean?"
1172
01:02:35,209 --> 01:02:36,709
-And all that bullshit.
-Celia.
1173
01:02:36,794 --> 01:02:38,714
Why is high school the time of your life
that you're expected to be good
at everything?
1174
01:02:41,674 --> 01:02:44,014
I just wanna be whatever I am.
1175
01:02:45,136 --> 01:02:46,256
And I'm proud of that.
1176
01:02:47,013 --> 01:02:49,853
I just wanted you to have a better
high school experience than I had.
1177
01:02:51,642 --> 01:02:53,022
Here we go.
1178
01:02:53,102 --> 01:02:55,482
-Group hug.
-No, that's good.
1179
01:02:55,563 --> 01:02:56,733
-Group hug.
-Please.
1180
01:02:56,814 --> 01:03:00,074
-Yep.
-Oh, do we have to? Stop.
1181
01:03:02,570 --> 01:03:03,910
Okay.
1182
01:03:23,883 --> 01:03:24,763
Wow.
1183
01:03:24,842 --> 01:03:27,092
You look incredible.
1184
01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:28,385
Thanks.
1185
01:03:28,471 --> 01:03:31,931
It only took three stylists,
two hairdressers, one makeup artist,
1186
01:03:32,016 --> 01:03:35,186
Bioslimming active wrap,
two hours of pilates,
1187
01:03:35,269 --> 01:03:38,059
and like 12 pounds of moisturizer
to look this way.
1188
01:03:38,147 --> 01:03:40,187
Wow. I took a shower.
1189
01:03:41,275 --> 01:03:43,945
Hold on, wait, chivalry is not dead.
1190
01:03:44,904 --> 01:03:46,954
-All right.
-Thank you.
1191
01:03:47,573 --> 01:03:48,413
You're welcome.
1192
01:03:50,201 --> 01:03:51,491
What's that smell?
1193
01:04:09,887 --> 01:04:12,387
We ordered our tuna crudo,
like, ten minutes ago.
1194
01:04:13,766 --> 01:04:15,136
Yeah, it was a while ago.
1195
01:04:19,647 --> 01:04:23,107
So, Shelby, do you have any plans
for after high school?
1196
01:04:24,318 --> 01:04:25,608
I don't know, it's tough.
1197
01:04:25,695 --> 01:04:28,405
I don't, like, have my whole life
planned out or anything.
1198
01:04:28,489 --> 01:04:30,659
-Yeah, nobody does.
-Exactly.
1199
01:04:31,367 --> 01:04:33,367
So, in the fall,
I'll be going to Columbia,
1200
01:04:33,452 --> 01:04:35,582
where I'll major in applied economics
in management
1201
01:04:35,663 --> 01:04:37,003
with a concentration in finance,
1202
01:04:37,081 --> 01:04:40,631
and of course, I'll intern at my father's
hedge fund over the summers.
1203
01:04:41,043 --> 01:04:43,633
Then, it's off to Harvard Business School,
where I'll get my MBA.
1204
01:04:44,589 --> 01:04:46,759
I'll graduate, get some seed money
1205
01:04:46,841 --> 01:04:49,141
and then open up
my own private equity firm, but...
1206
01:04:50,177 --> 01:04:52,177
after that,
it's all kind of up in the air.
1207
01:04:52,847 --> 01:04:55,017
You really have to get
your shit together, huh?
1208
01:04:55,099 --> 01:04:56,429
Right, yeah.
1209
01:04:58,102 --> 01:04:58,942
Yeah.
How about you?
1210
01:05:01,772 --> 01:05:03,272
-Me?
-Yeah.
1211
01:05:04,358 --> 01:05:05,818
Well, I'm applying to Yale,
1212
01:05:06,611 --> 01:05:07,651
and then I'll...
1213
01:05:12,408 --> 01:05:15,538
Well, I've been obsessing over just
1214
01:05:15,953 --> 01:05:19,833
applying for so long, that I haven't even
thought about what I would do if I got in.
1215
01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:22,166
-Seriously?
-Yeah.
1216
01:05:24,420 --> 01:05:25,550
Yeah, but I'm 18.
1217
01:05:26,047 --> 01:05:30,177
I got time to figure out who I am
and what I want to do.
1218
01:05:31,761 --> 01:05:32,851
You know what I mean?
1219
01:05:34,305 --> 01:05:35,135
No.
1220
01:05:42,605 --> 01:05:44,015
Here you go. Have a nice night.
1221
01:05:52,156 --> 01:05:53,446
-Oh, no.
-What?
1222
01:05:54,325 --> 01:05:55,275
It's your ex.
1223
01:05:57,078 --> 01:05:58,748
Is this gonna be weird for you?
1224
01:05:58,829 --> 01:06:01,829
I mean, I personally don't care at all,
but maybe you should?
1225
01:06:01,916 --> 01:06:03,126
No, it's fine.
1226
01:06:05,336 --> 01:06:07,916
Wow, she's a really bad dancer.
1227
01:06:15,471 --> 01:06:16,851
Yeah, she's the worst.
1228
01:06:20,101 --> 01:06:21,851
So, you wanna go get a table or... ?
1229
01:06:21,936 --> 01:06:23,766
-Yeah, sure.
- Brooks?
1230
01:06:25,022 --> 01:06:25,942
It is you.
1231
01:06:26,023 --> 01:06:27,823
Leah, hi. What are you doing here?
1232
01:06:27,900 --> 01:06:30,700
I go here.
Look, I just really wanted to thank you,
1233
01:06:30,778 --> 01:06:33,528
you really helped me out a lot.
If I hadn't used your services,
1234
01:06:33,614 --> 01:06:35,784
I wouldn't have been able
to get with Larry, here.
1235
01:06:35,866 --> 01:06:38,736
-Hi, I'm Larry.
-It's nice to meet you, Larry.
1236
01:06:38,828 --> 01:06:40,578
-Do you want to get that table?
-Uh...
1237
01:06:40,663 --> 01:06:43,623
Wait, what do you mean,
you used his services?
1238
01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:47,248
-This table right here.
-His Stand-In app, Brooks for hire.
1239
01:06:47,712 --> 01:06:49,552
Isn't that what you're doing, Shelby?
1240
01:06:51,215 --> 01:06:54,925
Am I... am I paying somebody
to go out with me?
1241
01:06:55,469 --> 01:06:57,219
God, no. Gross.
1242
01:06:58,180 --> 01:06:59,390
-Brooks?
-Yeah?
1243
01:07:00,224 --> 01:07:02,064
What the hell is going on here?
1244
01:07:05,604 --> 01:07:06,564
I have a side...
1245
01:07:07,023 --> 01:07:09,533
business, where I go on dates with girls.
1246
01:07:11,318 --> 01:07:12,148
Why?
1247
01:07:14,447 --> 01:07:15,817
Wait.
1248
01:07:15,906 --> 01:07:19,116
You're not like a male prostitute
or anything, right?
1249
01:07:19,201 --> 01:07:20,581
Like, what is it?
1250
01:07:20,953 --> 01:07:21,873
A male gigolo?
1251
01:07:21,954 --> 01:07:24,254
Well, all gigolos are males,
but not all males are gigolos.
1252
01:07:24,623 --> 01:07:25,583
Gee...
1253
01:07:25,666 --> 01:07:29,336
No, it's clean and innocent.
I swear, it's...
1254
01:07:31,213 --> 01:07:35,223
I do it because I need the money.
Shelby, I'm not rich. I'm not from Darien.
1255
01:07:36,469 --> 01:07:40,179
I'm just some poor kid from Bridgeport,
who wanted to impress you.
1256
01:07:41,348 --> 01:07:43,098
I mean, look at you, you are smart,
1257
01:07:43,309 --> 01:07:46,939
and strong and beautiful,
and you are way too good for me.
1258
01:07:48,814 --> 01:07:49,654
You're right.
1259
01:07:50,691 --> 01:07:51,941
I am too good for you,
1260
01:07:52,526 --> 01:07:54,696
and not because
I have more money than you,
1261
01:07:55,529 --> 01:07:56,989
it's because I'm not a liar.
1262
01:08:09,794 --> 01:08:12,054
♪ If you come to me close ♪
1263
01:08:12,463 --> 01:08:16,133
♪ We'll cut the cable to outside ♪
1264
01:08:20,471 --> 01:08:23,101
♪ It's taken years to love her ♪
1265
01:08:23,182 --> 01:08:25,642
♪ But lately I've been close ♪
1266
01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:27,352
Hi.
Hey.
1267
01:08:33,275 --> 01:08:34,435
Where is your date?
1268
01:08:35,111 --> 01:08:37,781
She is elsewhere.
1269
01:08:39,198 --> 01:08:41,198
I told her everything.
1270
01:08:43,953 --> 01:08:45,003
Where's Franklin?
1271
01:08:46,497 --> 01:08:48,077
Oh, you know, he's somewhere.
1272
01:08:48,916 --> 01:08:51,786
Probably making sure no-one ever wants
to be an artist again.
1273
01:08:54,755 --> 01:08:56,795
-You guys didn't work out?
-No.
1274
01:08:57,508 --> 01:09:00,338
No, we didn't.
You know, he's not really my type.
1275
01:09:01,470 --> 01:09:04,390
Turns out I'm more into oblivious,
1276
01:09:04,849 --> 01:09:07,519
self-absorbed pricks, you know.
1277
01:09:10,604 --> 01:09:11,524
Right.
1278
01:09:14,692 --> 01:09:15,652
Well, then,
1279
01:09:17,903 --> 01:09:19,163
would you like to dance?
1280
01:09:27,371 --> 01:09:28,211
No.
1281
01:09:28,873 --> 01:09:29,793
No, I wouldn't.
1282
01:09:30,624 --> 01:09:31,504
Why not?
1283
01:09:32,751 --> 01:09:34,171
Because I'm not your backup.
1284
01:09:50,311 --> 01:09:51,601
You're home early.
1285
01:09:53,480 --> 01:09:54,320
Yeah.
1286
01:09:57,276 --> 01:09:58,106
Yeah.
1287
01:09:58,360 --> 01:10:02,070
Tonight didn't really go quite
as I thought it would.
1288
01:10:02,323 --> 01:10:03,243
I'm sorry, kid.
1289
01:10:07,203 --> 01:10:09,043
-You wanna lay it on me?
1290
01:10:17,713 --> 01:10:18,883
I've been a stand-in.
1291
01:10:20,132 --> 01:10:20,972
I see.
1292
01:10:21,550 --> 01:10:24,600
And what do those two words mean
in this context?
1293
01:10:26,138 --> 01:10:28,558
Well, I started a dating service app.
1294
01:10:28,641 --> 01:10:30,141
-What?
-Yeah.
1295
01:10:30,226 --> 01:10:31,096
I was the date,
1296
01:10:31,477 --> 01:10:32,307
the stand-in.
1297
01:10:32,394 --> 01:10:34,694
I've raised quite the entrepreneur, huh?
1298
01:10:34,772 --> 01:10:36,982
I mean, it was more just really...
1299
01:10:38,275 --> 01:10:40,355
school dances, and um...
1300
01:10:40,694 --> 01:10:43,114
art show openings. I went to a rodeo.
1301
01:10:43,197 --> 01:10:44,907
Oh, yeah, the cowboy outfit.
1302
01:10:44,990 --> 01:10:46,990
-You saw that?
-Sure did, pardner.
1303
01:10:48,577 --> 01:10:51,707
Damn, Brooks, you did all that
just to raise money for Yale?
1304
01:10:53,749 --> 01:10:57,169
I'd have sold a non-vital organ,
if I'd known it meant that much to you.
1305
01:10:57,628 --> 01:10:59,708
There's a reason God gave us two kidneys.
1306
01:10:59,797 --> 01:11:03,177
That spare kidney is just a rainy day
cash cow, sitting there.
1307
01:11:05,386 --> 01:11:07,096
It wasn't really just for the money.
1308
01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:09,970
I went out on all these dates
1309
01:11:10,057 --> 01:11:14,227
and pretended to be whatever it was
that these girls wanted me to be,
1310
01:11:14,311 --> 01:11:16,271
because, I don't know, I thought that...
1311
01:11:16,772 --> 01:11:21,492
I thought that maybe I would find out
who I am, and Miss Track...
1312
01:11:21,819 --> 01:11:24,949
quite cruelly pointed out that
I have absolutely no idea who I am.
1313
01:11:25,030 --> 01:11:26,320
Anyway, it didn't work.
1314
01:11:26,407 --> 01:11:28,987
Yeah, well who the hell knows
who they are anyway.
1315
01:11:29,076 --> 01:11:32,036
We are all just figuring it out
as we go along.
1316
01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:33,825
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
1317
01:11:34,373 --> 01:11:35,963
So, the best you can do is
1318
01:11:36,417 --> 01:11:38,707
reflect on who you were in the past
1319
01:11:38,794 --> 01:11:41,424
and compare that to
who you wanna be in the future,
1320
01:11:41,922 --> 01:11:44,472
and you split the difference.
That's who you are now.
1321
01:11:45,718 --> 01:11:47,468
Like, I was a success,
1322
01:11:48,012 --> 01:11:50,012
and I wanna be a success again.
1323
01:11:51,307 --> 01:11:52,977
And I was a good husband,
1324
01:11:53,934 --> 01:11:55,354
until your mom left us.
1325
01:11:55,936 --> 01:11:56,976
She left me,
1326
01:11:57,896 --> 01:12:00,816
but you know what I didn't fail at?
Is being a good dad.
1327
01:12:01,984 --> 01:12:03,864
Because of who you turned out to be.
1328
01:12:04,945 --> 01:12:07,775
I know sometimes
you think I gave up and...
1329
01:12:09,533 --> 01:12:11,243
yeah, maybe there's some truth in that.
1330
01:12:13,871 --> 01:12:15,291
But I never gave up on you.
1331
01:12:16,957 --> 01:12:17,787
I love you, bud.
1332
01:12:21,253 --> 01:12:23,263
-I love you too, Dad.
-I know.
1333
01:13:01,460 --> 01:13:03,590
Bro, that's why he's here, isn't it?
1334
01:13:03,670 --> 01:13:05,050
Anyway, let's go get a sub.
1335
01:13:09,927 --> 01:13:10,927
-I'll be back.
-Cool.
1336
01:13:16,558 --> 01:13:18,558
Not used to you being alone.
1337
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:21,564
Yeah, well, I've successfully
pushed everyone else away, so...
1338
01:13:23,690 --> 01:13:26,690
It occurred to me that
I never would have been able to get
1339
01:13:26,777 --> 01:13:29,027
the Stand-In off the ground,
if it wasn't for you.
1340
01:13:29,696 --> 01:13:31,526
And then once
I finally got it to take off,
1341
01:13:31,615 --> 01:13:33,985
I shoved you out of the plane,
so I am sorry.
1342
01:13:34,493 --> 01:13:35,993
It's not that big a deal, man.
1343
01:13:36,495 --> 01:13:37,745
Uh...
1344
01:13:37,830 --> 01:13:40,790
I have an emotional parachute
that I've been weaving together,
1345
01:13:40,874 --> 01:13:42,584
every day I've been alive.
1346
01:13:43,293 --> 01:13:44,633
But how goes that Yale essay?
1347
01:13:45,129 --> 01:13:46,049
It's paused.
1348
01:13:46,296 --> 01:13:49,256
I'm not the best judge of my words
or my actions right now.
1349
01:13:50,801 --> 01:13:52,091
How's tuna melt?
1350
01:13:52,177 --> 01:13:53,507
He came back to the shop,
1351
01:13:53,971 --> 01:13:57,391
so, good, I guess?
Or, at the very least, not really bad.
1352
01:13:57,474 --> 01:14:01,024
He's not coming in
for middle of the road sandwich cuisine.
1353
01:14:01,103 --> 01:14:02,563
I get it, you're intimidated,
1354
01:14:02,646 --> 01:14:05,646
he's taller, he's stronger,
he's obviously better looking than you.
1355
01:14:06,150 --> 01:14:09,400
But you are the smart one,
so you have got to make the first move.
1356
01:14:13,615 --> 01:14:16,905
So, I guess, let's both do better
at what we have to do.
1357
01:14:16,994 --> 01:14:17,954
Huh?
1358
01:14:18,203 --> 01:14:19,043
Yeah.
1359
01:14:19,121 --> 01:14:20,411
Huh?
1360
01:14:21,165 --> 01:14:22,825
-All right.
-All right.
1361
01:14:29,965 --> 01:14:30,795
Watch this.
1362
01:14:30,883 --> 01:14:34,053
Hey, Rattigan, dude, I heard
what happened with you and my cousin,
1363
01:14:34,136 --> 01:14:36,256
and if it makes you feel any better,
1364
01:14:36,680 --> 01:14:38,430
I'll let you take my car for the weekend.
1365
01:14:39,308 --> 01:14:41,308
-No, I'm good.
-Just kidding, I'm not...
1366
01:14:41,685 --> 01:14:44,185
-What?
-I said, "I'm good." Thanks though, Reece.
1367
01:14:45,439 --> 01:14:47,229
-Really?
-Yeah.
1368
01:14:47,858 --> 01:14:48,858
It's just a car.
1369
01:14:50,194 --> 01:14:52,404
Look, if you ever need
someone to talk to, I'm here.
1370
01:14:53,113 --> 01:14:56,163
Okay, I know it can be rough
when your parents go through a divorce.
1371
01:14:56,617 --> 01:14:58,577
It makes you act differently, so....
1372
01:14:59,578 --> 01:15:01,158
Uh, what?
1373
01:15:55,842 --> 01:15:56,892
Hey, Celia.
1374
01:15:57,886 --> 01:15:58,716
Hey.
1375
01:16:00,722 --> 01:16:02,602
Thank you for saying yes to this.
1376
01:16:02,683 --> 01:16:04,603
Can I get you something, a coffee, or... ?
1377
01:16:04,977 --> 01:16:06,767
I don't know, I have a Pour Over.
1378
01:16:06,853 --> 01:16:08,863
Franklin was right,
they're kind of divine.
1379
01:16:08,939 --> 01:16:10,689
Oh, God, no. No, thank you.
1380
01:16:13,443 --> 01:16:15,073
So, how have you been?
1381
01:16:16,196 --> 01:16:17,026
Good.
1382
01:16:17,364 --> 01:16:18,704
I'm good. I'm really good.
1383
01:16:19,950 --> 01:16:20,830
That's good.
1384
01:16:21,368 --> 01:16:22,198
Um-hmm.
1385
01:16:25,622 --> 01:16:26,872
Well, I killed the app.
1386
01:16:27,457 --> 01:16:28,667
Oh, that right?
1387
01:16:29,543 --> 01:16:32,343
Well, in the spirit of honesty,
which is kind of my new thing,
1388
01:16:32,421 --> 01:16:35,131
I haven't quite been able to bring myself
to delete it,
1389
01:16:35,215 --> 01:16:37,545
but I have denied all the requests
that are coming in.
1390
01:16:38,051 --> 01:16:39,931
And the women of the world weep.
1391
01:16:40,554 --> 01:16:43,814
Not really. There's a couple of copycat
apps that have popped up.
1392
01:16:44,057 --> 01:16:46,977
The market is getting saturated.
I got out of the game at a good time.
1393
01:16:47,561 --> 01:16:49,271
-Good.
-Yeah.
1394
01:16:53,775 --> 01:16:56,315
-It's nice to see you. I miss you.
-Brooks.
1395
01:16:57,487 --> 01:17:00,117
Please, just don't, okay?
1396
01:17:02,367 --> 01:17:04,487
Hey, am I gonna read the admissions letter
or what?
1397
01:17:04,578 --> 01:17:05,698
Yes, sorry.
1398
01:17:06,330 --> 01:17:08,170
I hope you didn't waste
too much time on it,
1399
01:17:08,248 --> 01:17:10,538
because based on your meeting
with the Dean,
1400
01:17:10,626 --> 01:17:13,336
you could have drawn a picture of a bee
and gotten in.
1401
01:17:14,046 --> 01:17:15,666
I actually didn't apply to Yale.
1402
01:17:16,465 --> 01:17:19,125
-Wait, what?
-Yeah, I accepted UCONN's offer.
1403
01:17:21,511 --> 01:17:22,351
Uh...
1404
01:17:23,055 --> 01:17:27,095
Hold on, I thought Yale
was everything to you.
1405
01:17:27,184 --> 01:17:28,144
It was.
1406
01:17:29,353 --> 01:17:30,693
It was and then I realized
1407
01:17:30,771 --> 01:17:33,361
that if I have to pretend
to be someone else to get in,
1408
01:17:33,440 --> 01:17:35,940
then I probably don't belong there.
1409
01:17:36,026 --> 01:17:36,856
You know?
1410
01:17:43,450 --> 01:17:44,530
Brooks, what is this?
1411
01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:54,625
Dear Admissions Officeof the University of Celia Lieberman,
1412
01:17:54,711 --> 01:17:56,801
First off, I just want to saywhat an honor it is
1413
01:17:56,880 --> 01:18:00,260
just to be considered as a potentialattendee at your fine institution.
1414
01:18:00,342 --> 01:18:03,602
And secondly,this feels really creepy writing to you
1415
01:18:03,679 --> 01:18:06,639
as if you're a universityand not a person, so I'll stop that now.
1416
01:18:07,140 --> 01:18:10,560
A few months ago, I was a guywho carried around this empty feeling.
1417
01:18:10,811 --> 01:18:12,941
Then, I thought that it could be filledby
1418
01:18:13,021 --> 01:18:14,311
driving the nicest car,
1419
01:18:15,357 --> 01:18:19,357
dating the most popular girl,or going to the fanciest school.
1420
01:18:20,112 --> 01:18:22,112
But the closer I got to havingany of these things,
1421
01:18:22,197 --> 01:18:23,907
the deeper that empty feeling got.
1422
01:18:24,616 --> 01:18:27,156
I've been so many peoplethese past few months.
1423
01:18:28,286 --> 01:18:31,456
A cowboy, an art connoisseur,an amateur beekeeper,
1424
01:18:31,540 --> 01:18:33,880
a prep school wannabe, a bad friend,
1425
01:18:33,959 --> 01:18:37,209
an obnoxious sonand a self-obsessed prick.
1426
01:18:37,295 --> 01:18:39,415
But through it allthere were little pockets of air
1427
01:18:39,506 --> 01:18:41,586
when I felt like I was truly myself,
1428
01:18:42,509 --> 01:18:44,299
and that was when I was with you.
1429
01:18:46,304 --> 01:18:48,314
♪ Is it cold when you're dreaming? ♪
1430
01:18:49,015 --> 01:18:51,435
♪ Is it cold when you're under? ♪
1431
01:18:52,644 --> 01:18:55,274
I don't know if you're acceptingapplications right now,
1432
01:18:55,355 --> 01:18:58,435
but if not,I am totally willing to be wait-listed.
1433
01:19:04,781 --> 01:19:05,781
Hey.
1434
01:19:06,491 --> 01:19:08,791
I was gonna cook a steak, do you want one?
1435
01:19:08,869 --> 01:19:10,369
-No, thanks.
-Are you sure?
1436
01:19:10,454 --> 01:19:12,294
-Yeah, I'm good.
-All right.
1437
01:19:15,417 --> 01:19:16,327
Hey...
1438
01:19:16,835 --> 01:19:19,335
you actually got some mail.
I put it on the table.
1439
01:19:20,797 --> 01:19:21,627
Oh, boy.
1440
01:19:22,174 --> 01:19:25,054
Just what I need.
It's probably another rejection letter.
1441
01:19:27,220 --> 01:19:28,140
This is...
1442
01:19:28,221 --> 01:19:30,101
It must be one of the grants
I applied for,
1443
01:19:30,182 --> 01:19:31,642
the Visionary Writing Award.
1444
01:19:31,725 --> 01:19:35,435
Dear Mr. Rattigan, in recognition
of your unparalleled literary talent,
1445
01:19:35,520 --> 01:19:39,480
we would like to offer you this grant to
further your career as a visionary writer.
1446
01:19:39,566 --> 01:19:42,896
-That's incredible, Dad.
-Yeah! That's how we do it!
1447
01:19:43,987 --> 01:19:46,157
Steak night. Boom!
1448
01:20:15,393 --> 01:20:17,233
♪ And I want ♪
1449
01:20:18,438 --> 01:20:21,148
♪ For you to know ♪
1450
01:20:23,193 --> 01:20:24,903
I shouldn't have slapped you.
1451
01:20:25,028 --> 01:20:27,778
I mean, it felt great for me,
1452
01:20:27,989 --> 01:20:29,699
but I shouldn't have slapped you.
1453
01:20:30,242 --> 01:20:34,792
-No, I think I deserved it.
-Yeah, you did.
1454
01:20:35,413 --> 01:20:36,923
And, you know, I'd do it again.
1455
01:20:38,166 --> 01:20:39,836
But I'd really like to not have to.
1456
01:20:41,378 --> 01:20:42,958
So, are you ready to go?
1457
01:20:44,339 --> 01:20:45,169
Go where?
1458
01:20:45,257 --> 01:20:47,627
Our date. I'm taking you to the formal.
1459
01:20:47,717 --> 01:20:50,597
Another formal?
How expensive are horse stables?
1460
01:20:50,679 --> 01:20:52,099
It's just a shed over an animal.
1461
01:20:52,180 --> 01:20:55,640
No, I'm not going to another formal
for as long as I live.
1462
01:20:55,725 --> 01:20:59,265
Come on, I'm not taking no for an answer
and you know how stubborn I can be.
1463
01:21:00,564 --> 01:21:01,904
I do know that.
1464
01:21:04,442 --> 01:21:05,692
-Fine.
-Good answer.
1465
01:21:05,777 --> 01:21:09,237
But wait, you left literally
all the fields blank on the app, so
1466
01:21:09,322 --> 01:21:12,332
what kind of personality
would you like for your date?
1467
01:21:12,409 --> 01:21:14,199
There were so many good ones.
1468
01:21:14,995 --> 01:21:17,995
But I think
I'm gonna go with regular old
1469
01:21:18,081 --> 01:21:21,501
no-frills,
vanilla ice cream Brooks Rattigan.
1470
01:21:23,920 --> 01:21:25,380
I think I can make that happen.
1471
01:21:34,764 --> 01:21:35,684
Ooh!
1472
01:21:39,477 --> 01:21:40,557
Thanks, I got that.
1473
01:21:40,645 --> 01:21:42,805
-Nice of you to dress up.
-Yeah.
1474
01:21:43,398 --> 01:21:45,438
I just... I do what she tells me to do.
1475
01:21:45,525 --> 01:21:46,565
-Um-hmm.
-Um-hmm.
1476
01:21:46,651 --> 01:21:48,111
Hey, what's up?
1477
01:21:48,904 --> 01:21:49,744
Murph.
1478
01:21:50,864 --> 01:21:52,454
-This is incredible.
-I know.
1479
01:21:53,158 --> 01:21:55,618
I can't take all the credit,
the whole thing was Celia's idea,
1480
01:21:56,077 --> 01:21:57,997
and tuna melt is a whiz with décor.
1481
01:21:59,247 --> 01:22:00,117
What's his real name?
1482
01:22:02,334 --> 01:22:03,924
Oh, my God, you don't know.
1483
01:22:04,002 --> 01:22:05,632
How do you not know his name?
1484
01:22:05,712 --> 01:22:09,172
I keep hoping it will come up naturally
and it never does.
1485
01:22:09,257 --> 01:22:11,547
And I can't ask him now, I'm in too deep.
1486
01:22:13,345 --> 01:22:17,055
Look, I know it's early, but if you're
in need of a roommate next year...
1487
01:22:18,183 --> 01:22:19,023
No.
1488
01:22:19,351 --> 01:22:21,311
-Wait, you're going to UCONN?
-I am.
1489
01:22:21,394 --> 01:22:24,194
I didn't think they'd accept me,
considering my GPA is a bit iffy,
1490
01:22:24,272 --> 01:22:26,732
but I showed them some of my apps,
and they were impressed.
1491
01:22:26,816 --> 01:22:28,936
Who told you the Stand-In
would be good for both of us?
1492
01:22:29,027 --> 01:22:30,647
Not the Stand-In, they hated it.
1493
01:22:30,737 --> 01:22:31,567
-What?
-They hated it.
1494
01:22:31,655 --> 01:22:33,155
They liked MyTraxx,
1495
01:22:33,448 --> 01:22:36,118
and I tweaked it to be applicable
for student loans.
1496
01:22:36,326 --> 01:22:38,576
You know, which makes me a genius.
1497
01:22:38,662 --> 01:22:42,042
-Congratulations, man.
-Hey, Murph, help me with this table.
1498
01:22:42,540 --> 01:22:43,500
Got it, uh...
1499
01:22:43,875 --> 01:22:44,705
man.
1500
01:22:46,503 --> 01:22:50,553
Hey, I can bear this wait no longer,
you've gotta tell me.
1501
01:22:51,508 --> 01:22:52,588
Did I get in?
1502
01:22:53,343 --> 01:22:54,393
Hmm.
1503
01:22:54,469 --> 01:22:55,599
It was a tough call.
1504
01:22:56,262 --> 01:22:59,852
I mean, your essay was littered
with sentence fragments and run-ons,
1505
01:22:59,933 --> 01:23:02,143
like, seriously, but,
1506
01:23:02,602 --> 01:23:04,482
after careful consideration,
1507
01:23:05,689 --> 01:23:09,779
the Admissions Board of the University
of Celia Lieberman
1508
01:23:09,859 --> 01:23:12,489
is pleased to inform you
that, yes, you are accepted.
1509
01:23:14,656 --> 01:23:16,906
-Come on!
-Hey, don't get too excited.
1510
01:23:16,992 --> 01:23:21,162
You are on a probationary basis, okay?
Like, one semester at a time.
1511
01:23:21,246 --> 01:23:23,156
Okay. Well, I'll take what I can get.
1512
01:23:23,248 --> 01:23:27,208
So, I mean, what are you gonna do
to celebrate this acceptance?
1513
01:23:27,293 --> 01:23:29,463
There are a few things
that I'd like to do.
1514
01:23:29,546 --> 01:23:31,046
Oh, inform me. What?
1515
01:23:31,131 --> 01:23:32,881
Well, one,
1516
01:23:33,508 --> 01:23:35,138
I really wanna do this.
1517
01:23:43,810 --> 01:23:44,640
And two,
1518
01:23:46,146 --> 01:23:47,396
I wanna do that again.
1519
01:24:00,535 --> 01:24:01,485
And three,
1520
01:24:02,829 --> 01:24:04,039
I want to dance.
1521
01:24:04,873 --> 01:24:07,833
Oh, you think you can keep up with me?
1522
01:24:07,917 --> 01:24:09,457
Well, I'd like to try.
1523
01:24:17,927 --> 01:24:19,047
Whoa!
1524
01:24:23,850 --> 01:24:24,680
Yes, Murph.
1525
01:24:25,769 --> 01:24:26,809
Hello, Celia.
1526
01:24:26,895 --> 01:24:30,515
♪ I can wear the clothesOf the characters of films that I see ♪
1527
01:24:31,232 --> 01:24:34,992
♪ Some say unoriginalBut it works out for me ♪
1528
01:24:35,737 --> 01:24:39,317
♪ It's a fact dear I'm an act here,No camera, no stage ♪
1529
01:24:40,075 --> 01:24:43,655
♪ Dressed to impressSo I can lie about my age ♪
1530
01:24:44,037 --> 01:24:47,917
♪ And ohYou gonna lean on your friends ♪
1531
01:24:48,249 --> 01:24:51,419
♪ And oh, you did it again ♪
1532
01:24:52,712 --> 01:24:56,302
♪ And ohYou gonna lean on your friends ♪
1533
01:24:56,883 --> 01:25:00,103
♪ And oh, you did it again ♪
1534
01:25:18,863 --> 01:25:21,073
♪ And the beatniks, and the junkies ♪
1535
01:25:21,157 --> 01:25:26,197
♪ And if you feed them, you're a flunkyYou say ooh ♪
1536
01:25:27,497 --> 01:25:31,957
♪ And the projects and the charliesAnd the discos and the parties ♪♪ And the blood streets and the new waveIt's the renaissance of these days ♪
1537
01:25:36,589 --> 01:25:40,429
♪ And ohYou gonna lean on your friends ♪
1538
01:25:40,510 --> 01:25:43,760
♪ And oh, you did it again ♪
1539
01:25:44,973 --> 01:25:49,313
♪ And ohYou gonna lean on your friends ♪
1540
01:25:49,394 --> 01:25:52,524
♪ And oh, you did it again ♪
1541
01:26:11,457 --> 01:26:15,497
♪ And ohYou gonna lean on your friends ♪
1542
01:26:15,628 --> 01:26:18,838
♪ And oh, you did it again ♪
1543
01:26:48,077 --> 01:26:51,207
♪ Let's not play pretend ♪
1544
01:26:52,081 --> 01:26:56,341
♪ You got to want itYou got to need it ♪
1545
01:26:57,462 --> 01:27:00,512
♪ All things have to end ♪
1546
01:27:01,382 --> 01:27:05,642
♪ And now that I see itYou got what you needed ♪
1547
01:27:16,397 --> 01:27:22,067
♪ Oh, moving on to somethingSo much better ♪
1548
01:27:22,737 --> 01:27:24,817
♪ So much better ♪
1549
01:27:25,823 --> 01:27:31,503
♪ Oh, think I'll take this timeTo just forget her ♪
1550
01:27:32,330 --> 01:27:34,330
♪ Just forget her ♪
1551
01:27:35,250 --> 01:27:38,170
♪ Let's not play pretend ♪
1552
01:27:39,921 --> 01:27:42,801
♪ All things have to end ♪
1553
01:27:44,634 --> 01:27:50,224
♪ Oh, moving on to somethingSo much better ♪
1554
01:27:51,015 --> 01:27:53,015
♪ So much better ♪
1555
01:28:03,486 --> 01:28:06,446
♪ Let's not play pretend ♪
1556
01:28:07,323 --> 01:28:11,583
♪ You got to want itYou got to need it ♪
1557
01:28:12,787 --> 01:28:15,747
♪ All things have to end ♪
1558
01:28:16,874 --> 01:28:21,214
♪ And now I see itYou got what you needed ♪
1559
01:28:31,639 --> 01:28:37,399
♪ Oh, moving on to somethingSo much better ♪
1560
01:28:38,062 --> 01:28:40,062
♪ So much better ♪
1561
01:28:41,107 --> 01:28:46,697
♪ Oh, think I'll take this timeTo just forget her ♪
1562
01:28:47,655 --> 01:28:49,655
♪ Just forget her ♪
1563
01:28:50,616 --> 01:28:53,486
♪ Let's not play pretend ♪
1564
01:28:55,204 --> 01:28:58,294
♪ All things have to end ♪
1565
01:28:59,876 --> 01:29:05,506
♪ Oh, moving on to somethingSo much better ♪
1566
01:29:06,299 --> 01:29:08,299
♪ So much better ♪
1567
01:29:29,489 --> 01:29:35,039
♪ Oh, moving on to somethingSo much better ♪
1568
01:29:35,828 --> 01:29:37,828
♪ So much better ♪
1569
01:29:38,915 --> 01:29:44,495
♪ Oh, think I'll take this timeTo just forget her ♪
117588
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.