Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:34,415 --> 00:00:36,816
This is stupid.
2
00:00:38,452 --> 00:00:42,187
The whole movie
Is just stupid.
3
00:00:43,490 --> 00:00:47,359
Makes perfect sense
Why i'm here.
4
00:00:48,494 --> 00:00:49,927
Because this is...
5
00:00:49,929 --> 00:00:53,029
Well, i mean,
It's a good part.
6
00:00:53,031 --> 00:00:55,499
I'm directing.
7
00:00:55,501 --> 00:00:59,101
I'm playing a mafia guy.
8
00:00:59,103 --> 00:01:02,104
I've
always wanted to play A mafia guy.
9
00:01:02,106 --> 00:01:03,873
I thought it would
Be very good.
10
00:01:03,875 --> 00:01:06,074
You might think
It's a great opportunity,
11
00:01:06,076 --> 00:01:09,010
But it's not.
12
00:01:09,012 --> 00:01:11,813
You know what?
13
00:01:11,815 --> 00:01:13,714
Who cares?
14
00:01:13,716 --> 00:01:16,517
Ha! I'll just
Bite my tongue,
15
00:01:16,519 --> 00:01:20,987
Think happy thoughts,
And get through this.
16
00:01:22,222 --> 00:01:24,056
Sir, your coffee's
Brewing right...
17
00:01:32,532 --> 00:01:34,131
Who am i kidding?
18
00:01:35,734 --> 00:01:39,404
Sir, it'll be about Ten more minutes On the coffee.
19
00:01:39,406 --> 00:01:40,970
Mm-hmm.
20
00:01:45,009 --> 00:01:46,809
I'm screwed.
21
00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:10,229
So i have this problem.
22
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:13,299
I have these constant nightmares
Of spoof movies.
23
00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:16,301
Ugh!
It's so frustrating.
24
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,102
I'm totally haunted
By 'em.
25
00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:20,572
Plus, i have
This other problem.
26
00:02:20,574 --> 00:02:23,441
I get sleepy sometimes,
And i fall asleep.
27
00:02:23,443 --> 00:02:25,343
The worst part is,
I never know...
28
00:02:30,681 --> 00:02:32,014
Hey.
29
00:02:33,451 --> 00:02:36,918
You were asleep
For a while that time.
30
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:39,521
I'm sorry. I have this...
I know.
31
00:02:39,523 --> 00:02:41,824
You have problems.
32
00:02:41,826 --> 00:02:43,791
We all do.
33
00:02:43,793 --> 00:02:46,026
I moved to l.A.
Six months ago,
34
00:02:46,028 --> 00:02:49,028
And randy was one of
The first friend i made here.
35
00:02:49,030 --> 00:02:52,833
He's genuine,
And that's hard to find.
36
00:02:52,835 --> 00:02:54,735
I moved here to be
Closer to my family,
37
00:02:54,737 --> 00:02:57,002
And right now, i'm currently
Working with elderly people
38
00:02:57,004 --> 00:02:58,838
At a nursing home.
39
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,907
I guess i just wanted to do
Something special with my life.
40
00:03:01,909 --> 00:03:04,008
I wanna be
Your boyfriend.
41
00:03:05,845 --> 00:03:07,479
What'd you just say?
42
00:03:07,481 --> 00:03:10,247
I said there's not
Enough sugar on this.
43
00:03:10,249 --> 00:03:12,583
Let me get
Some more here.
44
00:03:12,585 --> 00:03:14,551
You're so silly.
45
00:03:14,553 --> 00:03:16,386
She's so great.
46
00:03:16,388 --> 00:03:18,087
So i work in
The entertainment industry...
47
00:03:18,089 --> 00:03:20,222
Oh!
48
00:03:22,292 --> 00:03:24,225
So i work in
The entertainment industry,
49
00:03:24,227 --> 00:03:25,994
And i work for
A great studio.
50
00:03:25,996 --> 00:03:27,662
Sunshine studios.
51
00:03:27,664 --> 00:03:30,531
They put out some of
The highest-quality films.
52
00:03:33,368 --> 00:03:36,003
Quality might not
Be the word, but completed.
53
00:03:36,005 --> 00:03:38,170
They have a lot of
Completed films.
54
00:03:38,172 --> 00:03:41,708
But completed films
With a lot of heart.
55
00:03:41,710 --> 00:03:44,342
Well, you know,
Maybe not heart,
56
00:03:44,344 --> 00:03:48,113
But completed films
That include a running time.
57
00:03:49,282 --> 00:03:51,081
Actually, i think
They might be having
58
00:03:51,083 --> 00:03:52,483
Real financial problems.
59
00:03:52,485 --> 00:03:54,051
Hey, ben.
60
00:03:54,053 --> 00:03:55,787
My name's actually randy.
61
00:03:55,789 --> 00:03:58,187
I don't know
Why the guys call me ben.
62
00:03:58,189 --> 00:03:59,689
It's funny though.
63
00:04:03,461 --> 00:04:05,994
Okay, take a look
At this gun.
64
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:07,996
All right?
It's totally fake.
65
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:09,598
Is it real?
66
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,333
It's totally fake.
67
00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:13,000
Okay.
68
00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:14,268
After the blank
Goes off right here,
69
00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:16,370
Yeah.
All right?
70
00:04:16,372 --> 00:04:18,039
A blood pack is going
To go off lightly
71
00:04:18,041 --> 00:04:19,773
On your leg
Right there.
72
00:04:19,775 --> 00:04:21,875
I feel like you're not
Listening to me, randy.
73
00:04:21,877 --> 00:04:23,477
Randy, randy.
74
00:04:23,479 --> 00:04:24,445
Yeah?
Okay.
75
00:04:24,447 --> 00:04:26,512
Did you get that?
Yeah.
76
00:04:26,514 --> 00:04:27,647
You're gonna use
Live ammunition.
77
00:04:29,015 --> 00:04:30,215
Which is cool.
Seriously?
78
00:04:30,217 --> 00:04:32,684
I'm cool with that.
Seriously?
79
00:04:32,686 --> 00:04:35,086
There's nothing to Be nervous about.
You'll be fine.
80
00:04:35,088 --> 00:04:36,855
Oh, i'm not nervous.
I'm excited.
81
00:04:36,857 --> 00:04:39,189
I get to work with
The c.J. Waters.
82
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,424
Yeah, whatever.
I'm gonna do this to him.
83
00:04:40,426 --> 00:04:43,026
Watch it, c.J.
Your day has come.
84
00:04:44,831 --> 00:04:46,529
And here it is in slo-mo.
85
00:04:46,531 --> 00:04:49,999
Watch it,
c.J. Your day has come.
86
00:05:02,043 --> 00:05:04,244
So an actor doesn't show up,
87
00:05:04,246 --> 00:05:06,713
And some genius here
Decides to put an idiot p.A.
88
00:05:06,715 --> 00:05:10,617
In his place because
They wear the same shirt size.
89
00:05:10,619 --> 00:05:12,652
And to think,
A few months ago,
90
00:05:12,654 --> 00:05:16,522
I was so excited to work for
A real movie studio.
91
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:18,156
I hate it here.
92
00:05:19,559 --> 00:05:22,059
I tell all my friends
I work at target.
93
00:05:22,061 --> 00:05:23,528
Quiet on the set!
94
00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:24,729
Quiet!
95
00:05:24,731 --> 00:05:26,564
Cameras are rolling.
96
00:05:26,566 --> 00:05:29,900
Sir, can i just say,
It is an honor To work with you.
97
00:05:29,902 --> 00:05:31,502
I want you to shut up.
98
00:05:31,504 --> 00:05:33,737
I loved you in that movie
When you were a cop,
99
00:05:33,739 --> 00:05:35,605
And you were on
That missing persons case,
100
00:05:35,607 --> 00:05:37,206
Only it was a lemur
From the zoo.
101
00:05:37,208 --> 00:05:38,941
It was a ferret.
102
00:05:38,943 --> 00:05:41,476
No, i'm pretty sure It was a lemur.
I would remember.
103
00:05:41,478 --> 00:05:43,344
It was a drama.
104
00:05:43,346 --> 00:05:45,446
Why are you even acting?
You're a p.A., aren't you?
105
00:05:45,448 --> 00:05:48,682
In the eighth grade,
I joined troop 1984
106
00:05:48,684 --> 00:05:50,050
Of the thespian society,
107
00:05:50,052 --> 00:05:52,052
So i'm qualified.
You better be.
108
00:05:52,054 --> 00:05:53,153
Are you ready
To do this?
109
00:05:53,155 --> 00:05:54,854
Cue music.
110
00:05:54,856 --> 00:05:57,156
You better be!
Action!
111
00:05:57,158 --> 00:06:01,093
Give me the information,
Or i'm gonna blow a hole In your head.
112
00:06:01,095 --> 00:06:03,862
You're doing great.
113
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,565
We're still shooting, right?
114
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:07,833
Line!
115
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,500
The line is,
116
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:11,602
I have a wife
And two kids.
117
00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:13,871
It's written Right over there.
Right? You see it?
118
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:16,573
I don't have
My contacts in.
119
00:06:16,575 --> 00:06:17,941
Say it anyway!
120
00:06:17,943 --> 00:06:19,976
I have a wife And two kids.
Say it.
121
00:06:19,978 --> 00:06:21,411
Can i run home
And get my contacts?
122
00:06:21,413 --> 00:06:22,611
No!
123
00:06:22,613 --> 00:06:24,847
I'm sorry.
Stay in character.
124
00:06:24,849 --> 00:06:26,549
I know my terms.
125
00:06:26,551 --> 00:06:28,250
All right, ready?
Action!
126
00:06:28,252 --> 00:06:31,118
Please don't kill me.
I have a...
127
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:33,254
Let me try it
One more time, okay?
128
00:06:33,256 --> 00:06:35,690
Cut. Cut, cut.
129
00:06:35,692 --> 00:06:39,760
Okay. Can i yell "action"?
No! Action.
130
00:06:39,762 --> 00:06:43,262
Please don't kill me.
I have a dog And three cats.
131
00:06:43,264 --> 00:06:45,130
Shut up!
Cut.
132
00:06:45,132 --> 00:06:50,134
Please don't kill me.
I am an orphan and have No food for my widows.
133
00:06:50,136 --> 00:06:53,404
Please don't kill me.
I have a wife and...
134
00:06:53,406 --> 00:06:55,506
How many kids is it?
I forgot.
135
00:06:55,508 --> 00:06:57,675
I hope you don't mind If i ad-lib
a little Monologue i wrote.
136
00:06:57,677 --> 00:07:00,510
I don't know
Where the information is.
137
00:07:00,512 --> 00:07:03,180
You can beat it
Out of me if you want,
138
00:07:03,182 --> 00:07:06,049
But i won't tell you.
Cue music.
139
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:09,518
Where is the bananas?
That's a joke I'm working on.
140
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,020
That's a cut.
Cut that.
141
00:07:12,022 --> 00:07:13,354
And action.
142
00:07:13,356 --> 00:07:14,823
Not yet.
I'll say it.
143
00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:16,658
Ignore it when
Randy says action.
144
00:07:16,660 --> 00:07:17,892
Okay, action.
145
00:07:17,894 --> 00:07:19,827
Action.
146
00:07:19,829 --> 00:07:21,862
Please don't kill me.
I have a dog,
147
00:07:21,864 --> 00:07:24,530
And he has no home.
He's a stray.
148
00:07:24,532 --> 00:07:27,567
That's my cue.
I quit.
149
00:07:27,569 --> 00:07:31,637
How about we just Cut to the part Where i shoot you?
150
00:07:31,639 --> 00:07:32,738
Okay, sure.
151
00:07:32,740 --> 00:07:35,040
I was really excited
For that part anyway.
152
00:07:35,042 --> 00:07:37,209
Rolling.
Ow.
153
00:07:37,211 --> 00:07:39,010
Ow.
Start the music again.
154
00:07:39,012 --> 00:07:40,912
Let me have it.
155
00:07:40,914 --> 00:07:44,048
Ow! My leg!
156
00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:46,316
Ow! My leg!
157
00:07:46,318 --> 00:07:49,886
My leg is shot.
Why did you shoot me?
158
00:07:52,923 --> 00:07:55,190
Please, god,
Don't kill me.
159
00:07:55,192 --> 00:07:57,159
Is that where
It hurts?
160
00:07:57,161 --> 00:08:00,595
C.J. Waters, please.
I don't wanna die.
161
00:08:00,597 --> 00:08:04,933
Don't say my name.
My character's name is allen. Now do it again.
162
00:08:04,935 --> 00:08:06,466
Okay, i'm sorry.
Allen.
163
00:08:06,468 --> 00:08:11,071
Allen, i am in need
Of medical assistance, please.
164
00:08:11,073 --> 00:08:14,473
Please call 911.
165
00:08:14,475 --> 00:08:18,144
Please don't kill me.
166
00:08:22,682 --> 00:08:24,282
He shot...
167
00:08:24,284 --> 00:08:27,685
Quit shooting me
And trying to kill me.
168
00:08:29,655 --> 00:08:32,923
Oh, my god. There were
Real bullets in the gun?
169
00:08:32,925 --> 00:08:35,291
I wonder
How that happened.
170
00:08:37,261 --> 00:08:42,230
Why did you shoot me?
Why did you shoot me?
171
00:08:42,232 --> 00:08:45,634
Cue music.
Look, do you...
172
00:08:45,636 --> 00:08:49,203
Get away from me!
Get away.
173
00:08:51,006 --> 00:08:54,507
I'm sorry. I thought
This was blanks.
174
00:08:54,509 --> 00:08:56,743
Well, it's not blanks.
It's not blanks at all.
175
00:09:03,917 --> 00:09:05,985
You used to be
My favorite.
176
00:09:05,987 --> 00:09:07,952
That's a cut.
177
00:09:26,536 --> 00:09:28,737
I got two more
On your six.
178
00:09:30,639 --> 00:09:33,308
Three o'clock.
Three o'clock.
179
00:09:38,747 --> 00:09:40,881
Down, down, down.
180
00:09:40,883 --> 00:09:44,184
Bulldog three to greyhound six.
We have reached our objective.
181
00:09:44,186 --> 00:09:46,385
This is greyhound six.
What is your position?
182
00:09:46,387 --> 00:09:48,054
Bulldog three. Over.
183
00:09:48,056 --> 00:09:49,554
We are under heavy fire.
184
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,790
We're on our way,
Bulldog three. Out.
185
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,566
Uh, guys,
We're rolling.
186
00:10:03,568 --> 00:10:04,601
Cut!
187
00:10:04,603 --> 00:10:06,269
Oh, come on!
Shit!
188
00:10:06,271 --> 00:10:08,171
Can someone get me
An iced tea, please?
189
00:10:08,173 --> 00:10:09,706
What is with
The helmet?
190
00:10:09,708 --> 00:10:11,874
You're taking me
Out of my character.
191
00:10:11,876 --> 00:10:15,310
Cut! Damn it, ben.
192
00:10:15,312 --> 00:10:17,145
That's the fifth
Time today.
193
00:10:17,147 --> 00:10:18,679
I'm doing paperwork.
194
00:10:18,681 --> 00:10:20,514
So they let me try out
The acting thing.
195
00:10:20,516 --> 00:10:23,084
We found out that
I wasn't "cut out" for it,
196
00:10:23,086 --> 00:10:25,518
Which is okay,
Because i'm back to Doing what i love,
197
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,955
Being a production
Assistant again.
198
00:10:27,957 --> 00:10:29,723
I'm working on
My lifelong project,
199
00:10:29,725 --> 00:10:33,059
Which is a screenplay
About a small boy
200
00:10:33,061 --> 00:10:37,462
And my, or his, tricycle,
Who was abused.
201
00:10:37,464 --> 00:10:39,931
It's a drama.
202
00:10:39,933 --> 00:10:44,735
The ghost story.
Take 19. Marker.
203
00:10:46,371 --> 00:10:48,705
My name's wes.
I am the head director,
204
00:10:48,707 --> 00:10:50,908
Good director,
205
00:10:50,910 --> 00:10:53,943
Of all of sunshine Studio's films
ever since C.J. Waters quit,
206
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:56,679
And we're working on
An exciting project right now.
207
00:10:56,681 --> 00:10:59,414
This is big, okay?
It's a sequel,
208
00:10:59,416 --> 00:11:02,184
And it's got everything in it,
Everything you wanna see.
209
00:11:02,186 --> 00:11:05,219
We've got romance,
A war, the mafia, ghosts.
210
00:11:05,221 --> 00:11:07,354
What's not to like, huh?
211
00:11:07,356 --> 00:11:09,190
This is gonna be huge, okay?
212
00:11:09,192 --> 00:11:12,292
Mark my words. Big numbers.
You can quote me on that.
213
00:11:12,294 --> 00:11:14,961
Jack, is that you again?
214
00:11:14,963 --> 00:11:17,730
I'm reading.
Don't you see i'm reading?
215
00:11:17,732 --> 00:11:19,799
Why don't you
Leave me alone?
216
00:11:19,801 --> 00:11:22,268
You died years ago
On that boat,
217
00:11:22,270 --> 00:11:24,770
And it was
A beautiful night...
218
00:11:24,772 --> 00:11:26,637
I love you.
219
00:11:26,639 --> 00:11:31,109
I love you, too.
220
00:11:31,111 --> 00:11:33,010
Jack.
Yeah?
221
00:11:33,012 --> 00:11:36,213
Do you think we're
Gonna be okay?
222
00:11:36,215 --> 00:11:39,648
Please help us.
We're all gonna die out here.
223
00:11:39,650 --> 00:11:41,517
Yeah. We're gonna
Be just fine.
224
00:11:41,519 --> 00:11:44,787
We just have to
Hold on to hope.
225
00:11:44,789 --> 00:11:48,323
No hope.
We're all gonna die out here.
226
00:11:48,325 --> 00:11:50,491
Okay. Just never let go.
227
00:11:50,493 --> 00:11:53,127
Okay? Promise you'll
Never let go.
228
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,896
I won't. Promise me
You'll never let go.
229
00:11:55,898 --> 00:11:58,833
I promise.
230
00:11:58,835 --> 00:12:00,399
Promise me you'll
Follow your dreams.
231
00:12:00,401 --> 00:12:02,401
I promise.
232
00:12:02,403 --> 00:12:04,304
John...
233
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:07,639
Especially the dream That you
become a nun And never marry again.
234
00:12:07,641 --> 00:12:11,376
Um, no. That's
Not my dream.
235
00:12:11,378 --> 00:12:13,645
Just promise me, rose.
I'm dying here.
236
00:12:13,647 --> 00:12:16,013
Okay. No, i promise.
237
00:12:16,015 --> 00:12:19,383
Promise me you'll never
Kiss another man.
238
00:12:19,385 --> 00:12:22,052
Um... Mmm.
239
00:12:22,054 --> 00:12:23,553
I am only 18.
240
00:12:23,555 --> 00:12:25,488
I have to go to college.
241
00:12:25,490 --> 00:12:28,991
Gonna be in sorority.
I have big plans, So i don't know.
242
00:12:28,993 --> 00:12:32,561
If you feel like
That you need to let go,
243
00:12:32,563 --> 00:12:34,695
I forgive you.
244
00:12:34,697 --> 00:12:36,764
Okay?
You do?
245
00:12:36,766 --> 00:12:40,401
Okay.
So i forgive you.
246
00:12:40,403 --> 00:12:42,469
You need to let go.
What are you doing?
247
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:43,737
Is there anybody
Out there?
248
00:12:43,739 --> 00:12:46,539
Who is that?
Anyone?
249
00:12:46,541 --> 00:12:48,574
Who is that?
250
00:12:48,576 --> 00:12:50,576
Is that a lifeboat?
251
00:12:50,578 --> 00:12:53,079
No. It's okay,
Don't worry.
252
00:12:53,081 --> 00:12:56,314
I'll be fine, okay?
Just let go.
253
00:12:56,316 --> 00:12:58,549
I'm so cold and...
254
00:12:58,551 --> 00:13:01,853
i'm all alone.
I need some company.
255
00:13:01,855 --> 00:13:05,422
I've got, like,
12 seats in here.
256
00:13:05,424 --> 00:13:08,158
Are you sure there's Not enough
room on That driftwood for me?
257
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:12,428
Hm-mm. No. I wish there was,
But i'm a little cramped.
258
00:13:12,430 --> 00:13:13,897
You could save
Both of us.
259
00:13:13,899 --> 00:13:16,831
I'm starting to lose
My power of sight.
260
00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:19,101
I can't... Is he
Still out there?
261
00:13:19,103 --> 00:13:20,502
Hey, you.
262
00:13:20,504 --> 00:13:22,470
Jump in my boat.
I've got plenty of room.
263
00:13:22,472 --> 00:13:27,074
Hm-mm. Nope.
Oh, he's gone.
264
00:13:27,076 --> 00:13:28,475
I got hot cocoa.
265
00:13:31,479 --> 00:13:34,080
Lose the stiff.
I'm back in five.
266
00:13:34,082 --> 00:13:35,848
I'm so cold, rose.
267
00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:38,650
I know. I'm
A little chilly, too.
268
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:40,786
I wish there
Was room.
269
00:13:40,788 --> 00:13:42,221
Hey, you know what?
270
00:13:42,223 --> 00:13:44,055
Let me get you
A sweater.
271
00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:45,823
I got a sweater, okay?
272
00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:51,494
Ooh.
273
00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:00,369
Got my sweater all...
274
00:14:00,371 --> 00:14:02,071
It's so nice.
275
00:14:04,907 --> 00:14:06,908
I am so hot.
276
00:14:06,910 --> 00:14:08,876
Actually, this is
Really hot.
277
00:14:10,113 --> 00:14:13,180
That beautiful night,
And the moon and everything.
278
00:14:13,182 --> 00:14:17,251
But you can't swim,
And there wasn't Room for you on the boat.
279
00:14:17,253 --> 00:14:20,253
That's what i have to do.
280
00:14:20,255 --> 00:14:21,620
I mean, it's getting...
281
00:14:21,622 --> 00:14:23,756
Come on, jack,
Where are you?
282
00:14:23,758 --> 00:14:25,523
I'm gonna
Get you, jack.
283
00:14:25,525 --> 00:14:27,025
Oh, this thing
Won't work.
284
00:14:27,027 --> 00:14:28,593
Cut. Cut. Cut!
285
00:14:28,595 --> 00:14:29,995
What? What?
What do you want?
286
00:14:29,997 --> 00:14:31,929
Hi.
Hi.
287
00:14:31,931 --> 00:14:33,397
How you doin'
Over there?
288
00:14:33,399 --> 00:14:35,333
I'm not doing
Well at all.
289
00:14:35,335 --> 00:14:38,235
I can tell that.
Listen, do you need A nap or something?
290
00:14:38,237 --> 00:14:39,669
No, i don't need
Any nap!
291
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,838
I'm just not strong
Enough to cock it.
292
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,640
Did you just decide To waste everyone's Time today?
293
00:14:44,642 --> 00:14:46,008
Was it
A conscious decision?
294
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,843
How dare you
Talk to me like that?
295
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:49,845
Because this is how
You cock a gun.
296
00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:52,213
You see that? Just like that.
Is that close enough for you?
297
00:14:52,215 --> 00:14:54,615
I can't do it
When it's not my size.
298
00:14:54,617 --> 00:14:57,151
You have to get me a gun
That's right for me.
299
00:14:57,153 --> 00:14:59,552
Not your size?
You're the size Of a peanut.
300
00:14:59,554 --> 00:15:01,088
This is the size
Of a shotgun.
301
00:15:01,090 --> 00:15:03,923
That's how you cock a gun.
I've told you ten times.
302
00:15:03,925 --> 00:15:07,493
You know what? Titanic has one anchor.
We don't need two.
303
00:15:07,495 --> 00:15:10,162
Oh, really?
Yes.
304
00:15:10,164 --> 00:15:12,198
You like that?
Let's give you A little bit more.
305
00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:15,666
I'm sorry you can't C-c-cock the gun,
But you're f-f-fired!
306
00:15:15,668 --> 00:15:19,337
Thank you.
It'll be A good thing to get Rid of you anyway.
307
00:15:19,339 --> 00:15:21,938
I'm glad. Bye, bye, bye.
308
00:15:25,343 --> 00:15:29,445
Guys, we gotta talk.
309
00:15:29,447 --> 00:15:32,115
Oh. Oh, boy.
310
00:15:32,117 --> 00:15:33,316
I, uh...
311
00:15:33,318 --> 00:15:35,550
I'm afraid i, uh...
312
00:15:35,552 --> 00:15:37,119
I have horrible news
For all of you.
313
00:15:37,121 --> 00:15:40,521
You're all gonna be
Looking for another job.
314
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:44,458
In a nutshell,
The movie that we made
315
00:15:44,460 --> 00:15:46,260
That we hoped
Would make money,
316
00:15:46,262 --> 00:15:48,861
Came out and...
317
00:15:48,863 --> 00:15:51,998
We didn't make zero.
318
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,200
I know that sounds
Pretty good,
319
00:15:54,202 --> 00:15:55,734
But it's actually
Bad news,
320
00:15:55,736 --> 00:15:59,138
Because we ended up
Owing money.
321
00:15:59,140 --> 00:16:02,507
You see, shipping costs,
322
00:16:02,509 --> 00:16:04,742
And the print costs,
323
00:16:04,744 --> 00:16:07,145
Put us in a position
Where we owe
324
00:16:07,147 --> 00:16:09,246
More than
It actually made.
325
00:16:09,248 --> 00:16:11,281
I wish we made zero.
Believe me.
326
00:16:12,584 --> 00:16:13,917
Excuse me one second.
327
00:16:16,487 --> 00:16:18,354
Yes?
328
00:16:18,356 --> 00:16:20,222
I'm in an important meeting.
329
00:16:20,224 --> 00:16:22,023
Please.
330
00:16:22,025 --> 00:16:24,259
Mr. Storm, you wanna
Look out the window, please?
331
00:16:24,261 --> 00:16:27,628
Mm-hmm.
Okey-dokey.
332
00:16:33,468 --> 00:16:36,302
Sir, we're all over here.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
333
00:16:40,006 --> 00:16:42,275
Okay. See you over here.
334
00:16:42,277 --> 00:16:43,775
Went to the wrong office
Again, didn't i?
335
00:16:43,777 --> 00:16:45,743
I'll be right there.
Yeah.
336
00:16:45,745 --> 00:16:48,213
Keep up the good work. Bye.
337
00:16:49,647 --> 00:16:51,248
Flop!
338
00:16:52,517 --> 00:16:54,485
Great job, wes.
339
00:16:54,487 --> 00:16:57,787
Everybody take a moment
And give wes
340
00:16:57,789 --> 00:16:59,489
A big round of applause
For shitting on our studio.
341
00:16:59,491 --> 00:17:02,525
You know what? Actually,
To be fair, it was steve's idea.
342
00:17:02,527 --> 00:17:04,826
Was it? The shitting
On the studio part?
343
00:17:04,828 --> 00:17:08,897
Was it your idea, steve?
Did you direct it, steve? Who directed it, steve?
344
00:17:08,899 --> 00:17:11,165
I believe
It was wes, yes.
345
00:17:11,167 --> 00:17:13,067
Hey, let's take a look
At your projection.
346
00:17:13,069 --> 00:17:15,769
By the way,
i remember We were talking about This before.
347
00:17:15,771 --> 00:17:18,371
This is what He projected for The opening weekend.
348
00:17:18,373 --> 00:17:20,673
I love these numbers.
These are great numbers. Look at this.
349
00:17:20,675 --> 00:17:22,209
Whoo whoo whoo whoo whooo!
350
00:17:22,211 --> 00:17:24,676
Now, what the film
Actually did was...
351
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:29,047
...A little worse.
Perhaps like this.
352
00:17:29,049 --> 00:17:31,349
You know what i'm saying?
You know what i'm saying, wes?
353
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,218
I'm expecting
Big things--
354
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,220
Wes, i really don't
Wanna hear you talk.
355
00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:39,389
I just wanna thank you
So much for begging me
356
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:40,857
To let you
Direct this film,
357
00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:44,727
Because we just lost
$55 million.
358
00:17:44,729 --> 00:17:46,729
And of course,
We're gonna need You to pay that back.
359
00:17:46,731 --> 00:17:49,999
I don't have
That kind of money.
360
00:17:50,001 --> 00:17:52,200
We'll take it
Out of your paycheck.
361
00:17:52,202 --> 00:17:55,103
Shouldn't take that long.
Write that down, ben. Ben, ben?
362
00:17:55,105 --> 00:17:58,106
Take it out of his paycheck.
Shouldn't take too long.
363
00:17:58,108 --> 00:18:01,175
People, we gotta
Start over.
364
00:18:01,177 --> 00:18:02,909
We gotta
Get back to basics.
365
00:18:02,911 --> 00:18:05,112
What makes a good film,
A good movie?
366
00:18:05,114 --> 00:18:07,380
The script.
Craft services.
367
00:18:07,382 --> 00:18:09,582
Paris hilton?
Cream.
368
00:18:09,584 --> 00:18:12,184
Ice. Vanilla extract.
369
00:18:13,686 --> 00:18:15,587
It's true. Why?
370
00:18:15,589 --> 00:18:19,123
Because that's what's
Payin' for the movies.
371
00:18:19,125 --> 00:18:23,694
I started making ice cream
In the late 1970's.
372
00:18:23,696 --> 00:18:25,995
And that's where
All my fame and fortune,
373
00:18:25,997 --> 00:18:28,031
That's where it came from.
374
00:18:28,033 --> 00:18:31,868
My company was called
30 flavors.
375
00:18:31,870 --> 00:18:34,803
No one could even imagine
Back then.
376
00:18:34,805 --> 00:18:37,373
Thirty flavors of ice cream.
377
00:18:38,876 --> 00:18:43,878
That's when robbins
Came up with 31.
378
00:18:45,381 --> 00:18:49,149
So i... I had
To call it quits.
379
00:18:49,151 --> 00:18:52,486
You know,
Open a movie studio.
380
00:18:52,488 --> 00:18:54,554
Rum raisin. Ech!
381
00:18:54,556 --> 00:18:57,490
Why couldn't I have thought of that?
382
00:18:57,492 --> 00:18:59,091
I'll tell you why.
383
00:18:59,093 --> 00:19:01,593
You don't want
To give a kid liquor
384
00:19:01,595 --> 00:19:02,894
With raisins in it.
385
00:19:02,896 --> 00:19:04,896
What... What's that
Teaching us?
386
00:19:04,898 --> 00:19:06,764
What's that teaching us?
What's that teaching our kids?
387
00:19:06,766 --> 00:19:09,966
I even tried it.
I tried drinking rum,
388
00:19:09,968 --> 00:19:12,436
Put raisins in it,
It's hideous.
389
00:19:12,438 --> 00:19:14,370
Can you imagine freezing
That up, putting it on a cone,
390
00:19:14,372 --> 00:19:16,272
And havin' a kid...
391
00:19:16,274 --> 00:19:20,042
What? What? What? What?
I'm sorry.
392
00:19:20,044 --> 00:19:22,177
First things first.
393
00:19:22,179 --> 00:19:25,447
I will be leaving
My little brother lester,
394
00:19:25,449 --> 00:19:28,583
Who i don't think
Many of you have met yet,
395
00:19:28,585 --> 00:19:30,718
Will be taking over
For me.
396
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,187
I think dad would've
Liked it that way anyway.
397
00:19:33,189 --> 00:19:35,288
He's a terrific guy.
I know you're gonna like him.
398
00:19:35,290 --> 00:19:37,557
He is kind-hearted,
He's sweet.
399
00:19:37,559 --> 00:19:39,192
He's like a puppy dog.
400
00:19:39,194 --> 00:19:41,461
You could tickle him
On the chest.
401
00:19:41,463 --> 00:19:44,963
He's like a pussycat,
But he's also conscientious.
402
00:19:44,965 --> 00:19:47,099
I think he'll have
More of the temperament
403
00:19:47,101 --> 00:19:49,701
For this kind of work
Than i do.
404
00:19:49,703 --> 00:19:53,871
I am having a problem
Keeping my heart beating.
405
00:19:53,873 --> 00:19:57,608
Therefore, without Any further ado,
I'll be taking my leave,
406
00:19:57,610 --> 00:20:02,045
And introducing you To my little brother Lester.
Hang ten.
407
00:20:02,047 --> 00:20:04,480
Run a tighter ship.
408
00:20:12,322 --> 00:20:14,256
I'd like to thank
My big brother
409
00:20:14,258 --> 00:20:17,524
For giving me This opportunity.
Thanks, bro.
410
00:20:17,526 --> 00:20:22,028
I do understand
That you're havin' a problem.
411
00:20:22,030 --> 00:20:24,764
So he sent me here
To take care of business.
412
00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:29,802
Apparently, there's been
Some problems with, uh...
413
00:20:29,803 --> 00:20:31,436
Your films.
414
00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:37,241
I need to understand
What's goin' on around here.
415
00:20:37,243 --> 00:20:39,977
He seems nice.
Totally.
416
00:20:39,979 --> 00:20:42,313
I guess one thing
He didn't tell you
417
00:20:42,315 --> 00:20:44,080
Was that i just
Got let out of prison.
418
00:20:44,082 --> 00:20:48,251
I was in prison
For killing some people.
419
00:20:48,253 --> 00:20:51,520
I slaughtered
A whole family.
420
00:20:51,522 --> 00:20:58,526
He probably told you that
You could scratch my tummy.
421
00:21:02,631 --> 00:21:03,731
He mentioned it.
422
00:21:03,733 --> 00:21:05,999
But that ain't gonna happen.
423
00:21:06,001 --> 00:21:07,734
Because all these pictures
That you make,
424
00:21:07,736 --> 00:21:09,269
And they just keep tankin',
425
00:21:09,271 --> 00:21:11,970
And that's really
Burnin' my ass.
426
00:21:11,972 --> 00:21:15,574
I'm here to find out
What you're gonna do about it.
427
00:21:17,911 --> 00:21:21,579
Boom, i got one! Okay? Buddy flick.
Road trip, right? Everybody likes road trips.
428
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:23,348
All of a sudden,
We're gonna have campfires.
429
00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:25,148
There's water skis,
There's boobs,
430
00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:26,950
And then a hurricane comes,
Spins everybody around.
431
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,319
Everybody's, like,
We're gonna die.
432
00:21:28,321 --> 00:21:30,487
I haven't paid back
My student loans.
433
00:21:30,489 --> 00:21:33,055
Slam, right into
The middle of the desert.
434
00:21:33,057 --> 00:21:36,492
Only thing to eat,
Low-fat yogurt.
435
00:21:36,494 --> 00:21:38,160
Let's see it.
436
00:21:38,162 --> 00:21:40,128
We didn't get
A chance to make it.
437
00:21:40,130 --> 00:21:44,165
But we made something Much better.
I'm sure You're gonna like it a lot.
438
00:21:44,167 --> 00:21:46,400
Yeah.
It's much better Than his...
439
00:21:46,402 --> 00:21:51,138
Let me see how you look
With this hat on.
440
00:21:51,140 --> 00:21:53,340
I think you look
Kinda cute there.
441
00:21:53,342 --> 00:21:56,843
Wanna try on my glasses?
No.
442
00:21:56,845 --> 00:22:00,579
I want my hat back.
You can have it. It's all yours.
443
00:22:00,581 --> 00:22:03,582
I can't believe You ever dated him.
He's such a pig.
444
00:22:03,584 --> 00:22:07,518
Aren't all men?
They're such pigs.
445
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,186
I know.
446
00:22:09,188 --> 00:22:13,457
That one has green hair.
No one has green hair.
447
00:22:13,459 --> 00:22:16,292
Come on, cheryl.
Say something.
448
00:22:16,294 --> 00:22:18,328
I'm on my period. I'm grouchy.
I don't wanna talk.
449
00:22:18,330 --> 00:22:20,329
Why the fuck did you
Let them do that to you?
450
00:22:20,331 --> 00:22:22,531
I was ganged up on
By a group of girls.
451
00:22:24,901 --> 00:22:27,068
Why?
452
00:22:27,070 --> 00:22:29,237
You didn't get
To see the whole thing.
453
00:22:29,239 --> 00:22:34,040
And you need
Some new shoes, my dear.
454
00:22:34,042 --> 00:22:35,709
He didn't get to see it all.
455
00:22:35,711 --> 00:22:38,412
I know we were gonna do
That stupid road trip thing,
456
00:22:38,414 --> 00:22:40,481
But i mean, he was late,
457
00:22:40,483 --> 00:22:43,115
So i took matters
Into my own hands.
458
00:22:43,117 --> 00:22:44,484
It's what anyone would do.
459
00:22:44,486 --> 00:22:48,487
I don't know
What his problem is.
460
00:22:48,489 --> 00:22:51,623
Shit, wes,
Light a match! Oh!
461
00:22:51,625 --> 00:22:53,592
Five minutes.
I've heard enough.
462
00:22:53,594 --> 00:22:56,927
I was five minutes late,
She's going on... Wah, wah, wah.
463
00:22:56,929 --> 00:22:59,897
Let's get honest here.
I'm trying to work on Some concepts.
464
00:22:59,899 --> 00:23:02,699
Air bud meets days of thunder.
That's real stuff.
465
00:23:02,701 --> 00:23:06,969
Dress me up as some dude-chick
Hybrid in your terrible movie...
466
00:23:06,971 --> 00:23:09,505
God. Still hit that though.
467
00:23:09,507 --> 00:23:12,441
I'd like to hear
From somebody else.
468
00:23:24,118 --> 00:23:25,852
They don't speak english.
469
00:23:25,854 --> 00:23:28,254
I realize that.
470
00:23:28,256 --> 00:23:30,289
We keep trying
To fire 'em,
471
00:23:30,291 --> 00:23:32,024
But they keep
Showin' up anyway.
472
00:23:34,995 --> 00:23:36,528
Let's see it.
473
00:23:41,401 --> 00:23:44,100
�Por que, jesus, por que?
474
00:24:16,564 --> 00:24:19,965
You're fired.
Gracias, se�or.
475
00:24:22,168 --> 00:24:23,869
While they were making
Titanic 2,
476
00:24:23,871 --> 00:24:27,104
Myself and brian
Wrote a screenplay,
477
00:24:27,106 --> 00:24:28,940
And we put together
A nice little script,
478
00:24:28,942 --> 00:24:31,140
And we got tom hanks
Attached.
479
00:24:31,142 --> 00:24:33,577
Tom hanks?
480
00:24:33,579 --> 00:24:34,978
It's the biggest name
Sunshine has ever...
481
00:24:34,980 --> 00:24:36,546
Tom hanks?
Yeah.
482
00:24:36,548 --> 00:24:39,615
It's about the life
Of albert einstein.
483
00:24:39,617 --> 00:24:41,550
We got exclusive rights
To the story.
484
00:24:41,552 --> 00:24:44,386
It's about his life, and it
Delves into his personal past,
485
00:24:44,388 --> 00:24:47,321
And his struggles Trying to come
up with The theory of relativity.
486
00:24:47,323 --> 00:24:50,091
You mean the mc-squared thing?
487
00:24:50,093 --> 00:24:51,992
Right. Exactly.
488
00:24:51,994 --> 00:24:54,895
But what about his hair?
489
00:24:54,897 --> 00:24:59,131
I can make my hair
Like albert einstein. Look.
490
00:24:59,133 --> 00:25:02,702
I'm albert einstein.
Sunshine studio...
491
00:25:02,704 --> 00:25:05,137
I know the theory
Of relativity.
492
00:25:06,672 --> 00:25:10,108
It's official, man.
Our boss is insane.
493
00:25:10,110 --> 00:25:13,944
I think we should
Take our script to sony.
494
00:25:13,946 --> 00:25:15,746
Let me give you
Something, sir.
495
00:25:15,748 --> 00:25:17,447
I think you're really
Gonna like this.
496
00:25:17,449 --> 00:25:19,582
What's the most popular
Film genre?
497
00:25:19,584 --> 00:25:22,451
It's gotta be
Martial arts, right?
498
00:25:22,453 --> 00:25:26,154
And what's the most popular
Martial arts movie of all time?
499
00:25:26,156 --> 00:25:27,956
Kill bill.
500
00:25:27,958 --> 00:25:31,393
Yes, kill bill is definitely...
Right behind that is ninja.
501
00:25:31,395 --> 00:25:37,331
And after that,
The third most popular Is the prequel kid ninja.
502
00:25:37,333 --> 00:25:40,667
I'm gonna give you guys Something
that's never Been done before.
503
00:25:40,669 --> 00:25:43,503
The prequel to the prequel.
Let's see it.
504
00:25:47,741 --> 00:25:51,043
Where are the diamonds?
In my diaper.
505
00:25:51,045 --> 00:25:55,379
Well, give them back.
You'll have to Fight me for them.
506
00:25:59,586 --> 00:26:01,251
Counter punch.
507
00:26:02,620 --> 00:26:04,855
You know that you can
See their hands.
508
00:26:04,857 --> 00:26:07,123
Not exactly,
But close.
509
00:26:07,125 --> 00:26:08,925
Thanks, steve.
510
00:26:08,927 --> 00:26:10,960
Babies can't stand On their own.
511
00:26:10,962 --> 00:26:14,395
That's the stupidest thing
I've ever seen in my life.
512
00:26:14,397 --> 00:26:16,598
It was steve's idea.
You gonna blame it on him now?
513
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:20,001
If you just play The rest of it,
You'll see...
514
00:26:20,003 --> 00:26:23,136
uh, baby's crying.
515
00:26:25,608 --> 00:26:28,507
How come people
Don't like my ideas?
516
00:26:28,509 --> 00:26:31,210
The reviewer said
- the ghost story
517
00:26:31,212 --> 00:26:33,345
Didn't make sense.
518
00:26:33,347 --> 00:26:36,347
It's a love story
On a haunted luxury liner
519
00:26:36,349 --> 00:26:38,083
That's hijacked
By the mafia
520
00:26:38,085 --> 00:26:39,818
In the middle of
An iraqi war zone.
521
00:26:39,820 --> 00:26:41,953
What part of that
Does not make sense?
522
00:26:41,955 --> 00:26:45,690
Here's what i'm
Gonna do now, okay?
523
00:26:52,730 --> 00:26:55,264
Whoo!
524
00:26:55,266 --> 00:26:58,701
Improv.
Oh, okay.
525
00:26:58,703 --> 00:27:02,504
I need somebody
To write a script.
526
00:27:02,506 --> 00:27:04,238
Anyone.
527
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:05,773
Anyone in here.
528
00:27:05,775 --> 00:27:09,143
I don't care if
You're the fucking janitor.
529
00:27:09,145 --> 00:27:11,177
If you don't bring it to me...
530
00:27:11,179 --> 00:27:14,581
I'm going to start
Firing this weapon.
531
00:27:14,583 --> 00:27:18,250
I'm out!
532
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:23,022
He just said anyone.
533
00:27:23,024 --> 00:27:24,923
I'm an anyone.
534
00:27:24,925 --> 00:27:27,826
Ding dong.
Idea at the door.
535
00:27:27,828 --> 00:27:29,560
A fat guy
Wanders into a zoo,
536
00:27:29,562 --> 00:27:31,595
Loses his friggin' wallet,
Doesn't know where it is.
537
00:27:31,597 --> 00:27:34,665
A gorilla picks it up Who has an innate ability To count.
538
00:27:34,667 --> 00:27:37,100
What's this?
A second climax?
539
00:27:37,102 --> 00:27:41,004
All of a sudden,
He realizes animals Have feelings, too.
540
00:27:41,006 --> 00:27:43,439
I'm taking speech classes
At a community college.
541
00:27:43,441 --> 00:27:44,906
I'm trying to further
Myself right now.
542
00:27:44,908 --> 00:27:47,575
I got 64 credit hours
Under my belt.
543
00:27:47,577 --> 00:27:49,410
But i'm an idea hamster.
544
00:27:49,412 --> 00:27:51,712
I never stop
Generating ideas.
545
00:27:51,714 --> 00:27:54,715
If you're gonna be a bear,
Be a grizzly.
546
00:27:54,717 --> 00:27:56,483
Right now, i'm workin' on
My "hot words."
547
00:27:56,485 --> 00:27:59,519
That's including but not
Limited to boom, bam,
548
00:27:59,521 --> 00:28:01,821
What up, listen up,
Here comes the mother ship,
549
00:28:01,823 --> 00:28:04,757
Shotgun blast, you know.
They're attention grabbers.
550
00:28:04,759 --> 00:28:07,760
People are responding,
They build confidence, They build energy.
551
00:28:07,762 --> 00:28:09,528
Doesn't even matter
What you're sayin'.
552
00:28:09,530 --> 00:28:12,496
Ooh, hop on the pain train
On this one.
553
00:28:12,498 --> 00:28:15,066
Check this out.
Idea at the door. Ding dong.
554
00:28:19,304 --> 00:28:21,504
One ping, and one ping only.
555
00:28:21,506 --> 00:28:23,640
Periscope up.
We found the friggin' idea.
556
00:28:23,642 --> 00:28:25,841
I hate the sound
Of his voice.
557
00:28:25,843 --> 00:28:28,010
Reminds me of the sound
Your body makes
558
00:28:28,012 --> 00:28:29,611
When you try to
Hold in a fart.
559
00:28:29,613 --> 00:28:32,446
Hello. Hello. Hey, sleepyhead,
You ignoring me?
560
00:28:32,448 --> 00:28:34,549
This is an $85 shirt.
561
00:28:34,551 --> 00:28:36,350
Let's not forget
What tupac told us.
562
00:28:36,352 --> 00:28:38,887
Tryin' to make a dollar
Out of 15 cents here.
563
00:28:38,889 --> 00:28:41,855
Boom, boom. That was loaded.
Put that away.
564
00:28:41,857 --> 00:28:44,024
I'm pretty sure
She's into my ideas.
565
00:28:44,026 --> 00:28:46,392
Like, she knows
A good man when she sees one.
566
00:28:46,394 --> 00:28:48,728
Right now, i know that i'm
Gettin' those looks from her.
567
00:28:48,730 --> 00:28:52,198
I'm gettin' those, "hey,
what's up on A late-night mistake" look.
568
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,567
And that's the way she operates.
I know how she is.
569
00:28:55,569 --> 00:28:58,503
She said "what up?"
Earlier Over at the potato salad In the break room.
570
00:28:58,505 --> 00:29:00,938
I catch her lookin'
All the doggone time.
571
00:29:09,146 --> 00:29:11,380
Remember to smile, randy.
572
00:29:11,382 --> 00:29:13,548
Oh, hey, wendy.
573
00:29:13,550 --> 00:29:15,650
You ready for
Poetry club?
574
00:29:15,652 --> 00:29:18,987
I have this neighbor,
And her name's wendy,
575
00:29:18,989 --> 00:29:20,955
And she's kinda wonderful.
576
00:29:20,957 --> 00:29:26,094
But i can never tell her.
I'm way too insecure.
577
00:29:26,096 --> 00:29:29,863
I'm damaged goods,
If you know what i mean.
578
00:29:29,865 --> 00:29:32,665
I think i like you, wendy.
Love you, really.
579
00:29:32,667 --> 00:29:35,000
Matter of fact,
I love you a lot Since i met you,
580
00:29:35,002 --> 00:29:38,104
And i wanna have Babies with you.
A lot of babies.
581
00:29:38,106 --> 00:29:40,039
Like, quintuplets.
582
00:29:40,041 --> 00:29:42,573
She does not have a clue.
583
00:29:42,575 --> 00:29:45,176
I'm pretty good
At hiding my feelings.
584
00:29:45,178 --> 00:29:47,112
This is
My grandma's ring.
585
00:29:47,114 --> 00:29:51,314
I was wondering if maybe You'd
wear it on Your finger forever.
586
00:29:51,316 --> 00:29:54,184
And okay,
You can turn around now.
587
00:29:54,186 --> 00:29:55,918
You don't
Want to.
588
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,554
It was a stupid idea.
You hate it, you hate me.
589
00:29:58,556 --> 00:30:02,257
I'm sorry.
Sorry to upset you.
590
00:30:02,259 --> 00:30:05,827
You don't have to give me
The silent treatment, though.
591
00:30:05,829 --> 00:30:08,796
I mean, two can
Play at that game.
592
00:30:08,798 --> 00:30:10,998
No, they can't.
593
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:13,968
Why did she do that?
I'm so stupid.
594
00:30:13,970 --> 00:30:17,470
She's so pretty.
Oh, great, I'm evicted.
595
00:30:17,472 --> 00:30:20,606
I'm evicted.
596
00:30:20,608 --> 00:30:22,641
Randy? Did you hear me?
I'm evicted.
597
00:30:22,643 --> 00:30:24,476
Did you say something?
598
00:30:24,478 --> 00:30:28,147
Oh, you had
Headphones on.
599
00:30:28,149 --> 00:30:29,981
Oh, thank god.
600
00:30:29,983 --> 00:30:33,384
I have those ipod ones,
And you can't hear a thing.
601
00:30:33,386 --> 00:30:35,987
What are you doing?
602
00:30:35,989 --> 00:30:37,954
I was just
Lockin' up.
603
00:30:37,956 --> 00:30:40,090
I'm neurotic,
So i gotta lock it Like, 50 times.
604
00:30:40,092 --> 00:30:44,894
I'm like jack nicholson In as good as it gets.
"Step over the crack."
605
00:30:44,896 --> 00:30:46,996
Are you okay? I'm okay.
I'm totally okay.
606
00:30:46,998 --> 00:30:50,498
Look, i got a present.
An eviction notice. Ready?
607
00:30:53,903 --> 00:30:55,970
I can't wait to hear
All the poems today.
608
00:30:55,972 --> 00:30:58,205
I love poems.
609
00:30:58,207 --> 00:31:00,174
I know you do.
610
00:31:00,176 --> 00:31:04,777
I don't think randy
Actually knows what a poem is.
611
00:31:04,779 --> 00:31:08,347
I truly believe He thinks he does.
But he's trying, though.
612
00:31:08,349 --> 00:31:13,051
This is... This is
A totally original poem.
613
00:31:17,455 --> 00:31:20,191
"I am black,
Grew up in the hood,
614
00:31:20,193 --> 00:31:22,226
"have no parents,
Shot by cops,
615
00:31:22,228 --> 00:31:26,296
"bling bling, blang blang, Bling bling,
bust a cap, Bust a cap, bust a cap.
616
00:31:26,298 --> 00:31:28,597
"Sixteen years old
And never found love,
617
00:31:28,599 --> 00:31:34,136
"speak in rap,
Wanna fly like a dove Up above the clouds.
618
00:31:34,138 --> 00:31:36,538
The clouds."
619
00:31:36,540 --> 00:31:40,274
Some people think they can
Do the spoken word.
620
00:31:40,276 --> 00:31:42,476
A bit of times,
It does come out
621
00:31:42,478 --> 00:31:44,912
Like verbal diarrhea
Of the mouth.
622
00:31:44,914 --> 00:31:48,815
"The clouds calls rain..."
Wait, i'm sorry.
623
00:31:48,817 --> 00:31:51,017
That's okay. We understood
Where you were going.
624
00:31:51,019 --> 00:31:56,688
I am the head of
Poetry survivors.
625
00:31:56,690 --> 00:31:59,023
There are some dues
That we do have to pay.
626
00:31:59,025 --> 00:32:04,395
Each member has to pay
A small fee of $1,500 a week.
627
00:32:04,397 --> 00:32:06,796
I know it seems hefty,
But it covers
628
00:32:06,798 --> 00:32:10,200
Quite a few different aspects,
For one, my rent.
629
00:32:10,202 --> 00:32:15,171
Um... And if i'm homeless,
I certainly can't hold up A theater group.
630
00:32:15,173 --> 00:32:17,840
So here at
This poetry club,
631
00:32:17,842 --> 00:32:22,543
We are trying To showcase Original works.
632
00:32:22,545 --> 00:32:24,445
It's a policy.
633
00:32:24,447 --> 00:32:26,914
Was that yours?
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
634
00:32:26,916 --> 00:32:31,185
Really? About being
Black and 16?
635
00:32:31,187 --> 00:32:32,819
Dut-dut-dut-dut-dut.
636
00:32:32,821 --> 00:32:35,221
Are you sure
It was yours?
637
00:32:35,223 --> 00:32:37,957
Well, uh, no.
Not all of it.
638
00:32:37,959 --> 00:32:41,894
But the dut-dut. I'm sorry.
I found it On the internet.
639
00:32:41,896 --> 00:32:43,795
Okay. Okay.
640
00:32:43,797 --> 00:32:45,730
But i can read my script
If you like.
641
00:32:45,732 --> 00:32:48,332
No, no.
That's okay.
642
00:32:48,334 --> 00:32:50,567
Maybe next week.
643
00:32:50,569 --> 00:32:52,603
Randy always wants
To read his script.
644
00:32:52,605 --> 00:32:54,537
He gets so into it.
I hate it.
645
00:32:54,539 --> 00:33:00,809
He assigns everybody parts,
And it's so long and boring.
646
00:33:02,879 --> 00:33:06,548
Looks like you and randy
Have been going out a lot.
647
00:33:06,550 --> 00:33:08,783
Yeah, i guess so.
Yeah. That's great.
648
00:33:08,785 --> 00:33:12,353
I mean, he's got a lot
Of great qualities.
649
00:33:12,355 --> 00:33:14,621
He... He's a guy.
650
00:33:14,623 --> 00:33:16,390
He's a great guy.
651
00:33:16,392 --> 00:33:18,758
What exactly
Do you see in him?
652
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:23,029
Look, i know He's not perfect,
But neither am i.
653
00:33:23,031 --> 00:33:25,697
Do you know what he does
Every morning?
654
00:33:25,699 --> 00:33:28,766
I don't know.
Copy down Shakespeare and call it His own?
655
00:33:28,768 --> 00:33:31,602
He goes to His grandma's At the nursing home.
656
00:33:31,604 --> 00:33:36,140
And she has alzheimer's.
She wouldn't even know If he came or not.
657
00:33:36,142 --> 00:33:38,409
But he goes every day.
658
00:33:38,411 --> 00:33:41,145
That's why he wants To be a screenwriter,
You know.
659
00:33:41,147 --> 00:33:43,512
So he can make Lots of money And be able
660
00:33:43,514 --> 00:33:46,015
To take care of her
The proper way.
661
00:33:46,017 --> 00:33:48,918
There's not a lot Of guys left like that In the world.
662
00:33:50,519 --> 00:33:53,155
Oh, my god.
I'm such a bitch.
663
00:33:53,157 --> 00:33:55,523
I mean, i had no idea.
664
00:33:55,525 --> 00:33:57,658
I... I totally thought
He was kind of an idiot,
665
00:33:57,660 --> 00:33:59,860
But i was so wrong.
666
00:33:59,862 --> 00:34:03,930
Hey, randy.
Are you getting sleepy?
667
00:34:11,004 --> 00:34:13,038
Hey, ben.
668
00:34:15,475 --> 00:34:20,311
Ben!
The guys have been Having a great time Here at work.
669
00:34:20,313 --> 00:34:24,714
They've been calling me ben,
Which i just think is so funny.
670
00:34:24,716 --> 00:34:26,850
Ben, damn it, ben!
Benjamin! Ben!
671
00:34:26,852 --> 00:34:30,819
Ben, where is My coffee, ben? Ben.
672
00:34:30,821 --> 00:34:32,989
They have
This good one, right?
673
00:34:32,991 --> 00:34:35,657
They made out
My paycheck to ben,
674
00:34:35,659 --> 00:34:37,993
Which is just
So hilarious.
675
00:34:37,995 --> 00:34:40,428
I tried to explain that
To the bank.
676
00:34:40,430 --> 00:34:42,230
They didn't get it,
677
00:34:42,232 --> 00:34:46,166
Which is a serious problem,
Because i can't pay my rent now.
678
00:34:46,168 --> 00:34:48,535
"Ben."
679
00:34:48,537 --> 00:34:50,471
Did you just eat that?
680
00:34:50,473 --> 00:34:52,705
Yeah.
681
00:34:55,209 --> 00:34:57,276
My name's ernie.
682
00:34:57,278 --> 00:34:59,378
I'm 38 years young,
683
00:34:59,380 --> 00:35:03,715
And i'm a production assistant
Here with randy,
684
00:35:03,717 --> 00:35:05,582
Which is great.
685
00:35:05,584 --> 00:35:09,753
It's always been my dream To
become a production Assistant.
686
00:35:09,755 --> 00:35:12,389
Some people
Like to dream high.
687
00:35:12,391 --> 00:35:17,093
But if you set Your goals too high,
You might not ever reach 'em.
688
00:35:18,861 --> 00:35:21,963
The shitter's
Clogged again.
689
00:35:21,965 --> 00:35:25,599
Um, apparently, target
Was looking for someone
690
00:35:25,601 --> 00:35:28,069
With more "people skills."
691
00:35:29,204 --> 00:35:31,139
I would've killed
For that job.
692
00:35:33,707 --> 00:35:36,809
Don't worry about it, man.
I'll take care of it For you, okay?
693
00:35:36,811 --> 00:35:39,545
You just,
You know, relax.
694
00:35:41,581 --> 00:35:44,283
I have a very weak stomach.
695
00:35:44,285 --> 00:35:48,920
I can't really do
The toilets or sometimes,
696
00:35:48,922 --> 00:35:52,524
Take out the trash,
'cause i'll gag sometimes.
697
00:35:52,526 --> 00:35:55,159
Usually always.
698
00:35:55,161 --> 00:35:59,995
That and fish filets
From mcdonald's.
699
00:35:59,997 --> 00:36:02,231
It's something
With the sauce.
700
00:36:02,233 --> 00:36:06,269
It's like the white
And the green.
701
00:36:06,271 --> 00:36:09,271
Just thinkin' about it
Makes me wanna...
702
00:36:09,273 --> 00:36:11,506
I can't even think
About fish.
703
00:36:11,508 --> 00:36:14,308
It just...
Sorry.
704
00:36:17,512 --> 00:36:19,746
Sorry. I have
These nightmares.
705
00:36:19,748 --> 00:36:21,481
I know we were
Doin' this interview.
706
00:36:21,483 --> 00:36:24,517
I dream of these spoof movies
All the time,
707
00:36:24,519 --> 00:36:26,953
And i hate it.
708
00:36:26,955 --> 00:36:28,954
I don't know
Where it comes from.
709
00:36:28,956 --> 00:36:31,190
Maybe my childhood.
Maybe a...
710
00:36:35,927 --> 00:36:39,097
you have to love
Naked gun.
711
00:36:39,099 --> 00:36:41,298
Why aren't you laughin'?
Laugh!
712
00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:44,534
Dad, it was funny The first few
hundred Times we watched it.
713
00:36:44,536 --> 00:36:46,536
What if we watch
Something else?
714
00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:51,440
That's a great idea. What about
Naked gun 33 1/3, huh?
715
00:36:51,442 --> 00:36:53,942
How about
I get the popcorn?
716
00:36:53,944 --> 00:36:55,810
You stay there.
I'll get it.
717
00:36:55,812 --> 00:36:58,079
Okay, dad.
Oh, man.
718
00:37:05,553 --> 00:37:07,721
Thanks, man.
719
00:37:07,723 --> 00:37:11,657
It's just, last time,
I started throwin' up When i tried to fix it.
720
00:37:11,659 --> 00:37:13,226
No biggie, man.
I understand.
721
00:37:14,561 --> 00:37:16,694
I owe you big time.
722
00:37:17,963 --> 00:37:21,133
Is it bad in there?
You have no idea.
723
00:37:21,135 --> 00:37:24,768
Overall, my lifelong
Dream and goal
724
00:37:24,770 --> 00:37:29,772
Is to find and marry And settle
down with A beautiful woman.
725
00:37:31,575 --> 00:37:33,143
He's not comin'.
726
00:37:33,145 --> 00:37:35,411
If he isn't, I'm in charge.
Right, wes.
727
00:37:35,413 --> 00:37:37,846
You see the way He was acting?
He was looking for
728
00:37:37,848 --> 00:37:39,348
Any reason to punch
Someone on their ass.
729
00:37:39,350 --> 00:37:41,783
You know what?
Steve's in charge. No, i'm good.
730
00:37:41,785 --> 00:37:44,985
So do you guys think That was
a real gun He was packin'?
731
00:37:44,987 --> 00:37:48,256
You bet it was.
Hi there.
732
00:37:48,258 --> 00:37:50,990
Michael foster,
Lester's lawyer.
733
00:37:50,992 --> 00:37:54,261
Lester's been arrested
For killing his parole officer.
734
00:37:54,263 --> 00:37:57,163
He shot and killed
About 20 people.
735
00:37:57,165 --> 00:37:59,731
That's awful.
You're tellin' me.
736
00:37:59,733 --> 00:38:02,134
So what's gonna
Happen to him now?
737
00:38:02,136 --> 00:38:04,369
He'll get about
Five or six days in jail.
738
00:38:04,371 --> 00:38:06,371
He'll be out on parole Soon enough.
I am His lawyer after all.
739
00:38:06,373 --> 00:38:08,640
Really?
No.
740
00:38:08,642 --> 00:38:10,475
I'd say the electric chair's About
the best he can Hope for now.
741
00:38:10,477 --> 00:38:12,309
Que horrible.
742
00:38:12,311 --> 00:38:15,111
You're probably wondering Who
is going to Take over the studio
743
00:38:15,113 --> 00:38:17,514
In lester's absence.
It's his wishes
744
00:38:17,516 --> 00:38:21,984
That i introduce to you
His associate, nancy longbottom.
745
00:38:21,986 --> 00:38:27,088
Let's hope she's hot.
No more fives and sixes In the office.
746
00:38:27,090 --> 00:38:30,425
Hey, nancy.
Thank you, michael.
747
00:38:30,427 --> 00:38:32,959
Isn't nancy
A girl's name?
748
00:38:32,961 --> 00:38:35,062
Wes! So lame.
749
00:38:35,064 --> 00:38:38,265
No, that's fine. I've Heard it since i was a kid.
Got used to it now.
750
00:38:38,267 --> 00:38:42,635
I have to get going,
And i'm gonna leave you In the capable hands of nancy.
751
00:38:42,637 --> 00:38:44,637
Thanks, michael.
752
00:38:44,639 --> 00:38:46,805
Let me just be the first To say
we're really Glad to have you here.
753
00:38:46,807 --> 00:38:48,640
You have some
Pretty big shoes to fill.
754
00:38:48,642 --> 00:38:53,444
Shut up, fat face. And you.
You ever laugh at my name again,
755
00:38:53,446 --> 00:38:56,747
I'll put my arm Down your throat,
Grab hold of your balls,
756
00:38:56,749 --> 00:38:59,182
Pull 'em out And kick you In the nuts.
757
00:38:59,184 --> 00:39:01,251
All right, son?
758
00:39:01,253 --> 00:39:05,722
You might have noticed I've got a
bit of a complex About my name.
759
00:39:07,390 --> 00:39:09,057
Now...
760
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,928
Now that we all know Who's got the
biggest Set of bollocks around here,
761
00:39:13,930 --> 00:39:15,630
Let's get
Down to business.
762
00:39:15,632 --> 00:39:18,899
I'm here to make sure
You hit your deadlines.
763
00:39:18,901 --> 00:39:21,034
You have a couple of days.
764
00:39:21,036 --> 00:39:23,637
So far, you're filling
Those shoes nicely.
765
00:39:23,639 --> 00:39:26,072
Shut it.
So i'm here
766
00:39:26,074 --> 00:39:29,342
To give you some inspiration.
In fact,
767
00:39:29,344 --> 00:39:31,344
I'm gonna tell you
A story.
768
00:39:31,346 --> 00:39:34,346
Once upon a time,
In the east end of london,
769
00:39:34,348 --> 00:39:37,415
There was a little lad.
He used to go to the movies
770
00:39:37,417 --> 00:39:41,218
Every sunday with his auntie.
His name was nancy.
771
00:39:41,220 --> 00:39:45,055
Nancy's favorite movie
Was a movie called snatch,
772
00:39:45,057 --> 00:39:48,691
Because it had this big,
Fierce guy in there.
773
00:39:48,693 --> 00:39:51,160
His name was
Bullet-tooth tony.
774
00:39:51,162 --> 00:39:54,229
Now bullet-tooth tony...
775
00:39:54,231 --> 00:39:59,067
Had a gun, and it was
A desert eagle .50.
776
00:39:59,069 --> 00:40:04,071
A bit similar to this one.
777
00:40:04,073 --> 00:40:09,342
Now... If you lot
Don't write this script,
778
00:40:09,344 --> 00:40:12,445
I'm gonna end up shootin'
At least six of ya.
779
00:40:13,847 --> 00:40:15,514
So let's get it done,
Shall we?
780
00:40:18,017 --> 00:40:21,320
Now!
No me mate, por favor.
781
00:40:27,125 --> 00:40:31,027
I'm just reading
The u.S. Mandated set of rules
782
00:40:31,029 --> 00:40:33,697
For all businesses.
783
00:40:33,699 --> 00:40:38,133
I don't know exactly
If it specifically says
784
00:40:38,135 --> 00:40:40,703
It's illegal to bring
A gun to work
785
00:40:40,705 --> 00:40:43,538
And threaten your employees,
786
00:40:43,540 --> 00:40:47,809
But i'm pretty positive
It says it here somewhere.
787
00:40:49,278 --> 00:40:51,679
I know you can't
Bring two guns,
788
00:40:51,681 --> 00:40:54,415
Or have two people
Bring a gun at the same time.
789
00:41:10,128 --> 00:41:12,162
'Ello there.
790
00:41:12,164 --> 00:41:14,398
I'm bullet-tooth... Ah!
791
00:41:18,736 --> 00:41:22,939
Yep. Right here. Right here.
No, that's not it.
792
00:41:22,941 --> 00:41:24,606
I think
It's a great idea.
793
00:41:24,608 --> 00:41:26,241
Really? You're not
Just saying that?
794
00:41:26,243 --> 00:41:27,543
No. I think
He'll love your script.
795
00:41:27,545 --> 00:41:29,945
I think people will
Really connect with it.
796
00:41:29,947 --> 00:41:32,213
I've never read it.
797
00:41:32,215 --> 00:41:34,549
Here's what happened.
798
00:41:34,551 --> 00:41:36,351
The script is really long,
799
00:41:36,353 --> 00:41:39,319
So i took a week
Off of work to read it.
800
00:41:39,321 --> 00:41:41,621
I was at my apartment
Out on the balcony,
801
00:41:41,623 --> 00:41:45,558
It was really windy,
And the pages started Blowin' everywhere.
802
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,394
All over the place.
And when i say everywhere,
803
00:41:48,396 --> 00:41:51,129
I mean everywhere.
They were all over My neighborhood.
804
00:41:51,131 --> 00:41:54,298
It's over 600 pages.
805
00:41:54,300 --> 00:41:57,469
And here's the thing.
He didn't number them.
806
00:41:57,471 --> 00:42:01,071
You have to number
Your pages always.
807
00:42:01,073 --> 00:42:04,441
So i didn't
Get to read it.
808
00:42:04,443 --> 00:42:07,076
Let me ask you A question
about My script that you read.
809
00:42:07,078 --> 00:42:10,079
The father scene Where my father
was Abusive to the character,
810
00:42:10,081 --> 00:42:12,313
Do you think the color
I picked for the tricycle
811
00:42:12,315 --> 00:42:14,349
Matches the emotional
Tone of the scene?
812
00:42:14,351 --> 00:42:15,751
Um, i...
What color was it?
813
00:42:15,753 --> 00:42:18,253
What was it?
814
00:42:18,255 --> 00:42:21,088
I can't quite remember.
I'm forgetting.
815
00:42:21,090 --> 00:42:22,956
Green?
No, green was my big wheel.
816
00:42:22,958 --> 00:42:24,992
Red?
No, it wouldn't be red.
817
00:42:24,994 --> 00:42:27,360
So aren't you A little worried
about The length of your script?
818
00:42:27,362 --> 00:42:29,362
No. Why, do you think
It's too short?
819
00:42:29,364 --> 00:42:31,498
He said it should be,
Like, 90 pages.
820
00:42:31,500 --> 00:42:34,132
So you should probably Hurry up
if you want To finish it, right?
821
00:42:34,134 --> 00:42:37,603
Yeah, i better get goin'.
I've only got four hours left.
822
00:42:37,605 --> 00:42:39,371
It's not due till
Tomorrow morning.
823
00:42:39,373 --> 00:42:41,272
But my bedtime's 10:00.
Where are you going?
824
00:42:41,274 --> 00:42:43,508
Randy, i drove you today.
825
00:42:44,710 --> 00:42:46,743
No running in the halls.
826
00:42:46,745 --> 00:42:48,244
Hi, randy.
827
00:42:48,246 --> 00:42:50,246
Oh, hey, gotta go.
Lot of work to do.
828
00:42:50,248 --> 00:42:52,783
Okay? Love you though.
829
00:42:52,785 --> 00:42:56,218
I'm sorry.
I actually Didn't mean that Last part, okay?
830
00:42:56,220 --> 00:42:58,253
Have a good day.
You didn't?
831
00:42:58,255 --> 00:43:00,288
Huh? No. Gotta go!
832
00:43:41,024 --> 00:43:43,024
Oh, no.
833
00:43:43,026 --> 00:43:45,360
Oh, god.
Oh, god.
834
00:43:46,963 --> 00:43:49,096
Oh, no!
835
00:43:52,434 --> 00:43:54,635
Hi, randy.
Oh, hey. How are ya?
836
00:43:54,637 --> 00:43:59,272
Good, and you?
Fine. Totally fine.
837
00:43:59,274 --> 00:44:01,107
Well, back to work.
838
00:44:04,611 --> 00:44:07,346
Oh, no.
839
00:44:15,521 --> 00:44:17,688
What happened?
840
00:44:23,927 --> 00:44:26,161
Fifteen. Eight.
841
00:44:26,163 --> 00:44:29,164
Ninety-seven.
Eight. Okay.
842
00:44:29,166 --> 00:44:33,502
And... 90.
Done.
843
00:44:37,438 --> 00:44:40,307
So i'm stealing that little
Prick's tricycle script.
844
00:44:40,309 --> 00:44:43,544
I can't lose my job.
How am i gonna do it?
845
00:44:43,546 --> 00:44:45,344
Easy. Rule
846
00:44:49,049 --> 00:44:50,349
What?
847
00:45:04,695 --> 00:45:06,630
Shit!
848
00:45:15,505 --> 00:45:18,740
Something about smoke alarms.
I don't know. I always forget.
849
00:45:24,446 --> 00:45:27,648
Rule
850
00:45:27,650 --> 00:45:30,383
Wait, i don't think that's...
851
00:45:33,821 --> 00:45:38,424
Today is the day
I get to pitch my script.
852
00:45:38,426 --> 00:45:42,160
This could be the beginning
Of my new life.
853
00:45:43,495 --> 00:45:45,564
Apparently, i peed
My pants last night,
854
00:45:45,566 --> 00:45:48,165
And i think there might have
Been a fire in my apartment.
855
00:45:52,970 --> 00:45:55,337
Well, guys...
856
00:45:56,506 --> 00:45:59,308
You must admit,
All your ideas are crap.
857
00:45:59,310 --> 00:46:03,712
So, matt and brian
Apparently have a script
858
00:46:03,714 --> 00:46:08,482
With a big name attached,
So, matt, brian.
859
00:46:10,852 --> 00:46:13,787
I can't work there anymore.
That is not a studio, okay?
860
00:46:13,789 --> 00:46:16,856
It's a joke. I've never
Heard of one of their movies.
861
00:46:16,858 --> 00:46:19,025
Tom hanks.
We had tom hanks.
862
00:46:19,027 --> 00:46:20,525
Tom hanks on A letter Of intent.
863
00:46:20,527 --> 00:46:23,261
Go away. Get out.
Come on, man, let's go.
864
00:46:25,532 --> 00:46:28,399
Fantastic, randy.
Thanks for joining us.
865
00:46:28,401 --> 00:46:32,203
I don't suppose There's any chance
of you Comin' out with a screenplay
866
00:46:32,205 --> 00:46:33,671
Or anything?
867
00:46:33,673 --> 00:46:36,239
I think you're all
Gonna really like it.
868
00:46:36,241 --> 00:46:38,341
Love it, really.
869
00:46:38,343 --> 00:46:41,543
I've been working on it
My whole life.
870
00:46:41,545 --> 00:46:44,146
It couldn't be crappier
Than wes' idea about a tricycle.
871
00:46:46,183 --> 00:46:48,349
Yeah, it was stupid.
What?
872
00:46:48,351 --> 00:46:50,485
Am i not
Speakin' english?
873
00:46:50,487 --> 00:46:53,955
Wes here wanted To do a movie About...
874
00:46:53,957 --> 00:46:57,357
Some abused kid On a tricycle.
Same old tired crap.
875
00:46:57,359 --> 00:47:01,628
Abuse happens every day.
Just suck it up. Whatever.
876
00:47:05,365 --> 00:47:09,635
I can't believe it.
I was going to pitch A very similar idea
877
00:47:09,637 --> 00:47:12,004
About a tricycle
And an abused kid.
878
00:47:12,006 --> 00:47:17,241
So what's your idea? My idea.
You probably Want my idea.
879
00:47:17,243 --> 00:47:19,810
Oh, jesus christ.
880
00:47:19,812 --> 00:47:22,278
Jesus christ.
881
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:25,515
I would like to thank you all
For joining me
882
00:47:25,517 --> 00:47:27,851
For my last supper.
883
00:47:27,853 --> 00:47:30,986
Now, first things first.
884
00:47:30,988 --> 00:47:36,323
Must we all be on
The same side of the table?
885
00:47:36,325 --> 00:47:38,860
I don't understand.
There's no chairs.
886
00:47:40,797 --> 00:47:43,697
Perhaps a few of you Could move
to the other Side of the table.
887
00:47:43,699 --> 00:47:47,167
That way, we could
See each other.
888
00:47:47,169 --> 00:47:49,536
Forget it.
889
00:47:49,538 --> 00:47:52,638
I'm afraid i have
Some troubling news.
890
00:47:54,240 --> 00:47:59,477
One of you
At this very table
891
00:47:59,479 --> 00:48:01,612
Is going to betray me.
892
00:48:03,015 --> 00:48:06,616
Now, i won't say who.
893
00:48:06,618 --> 00:48:10,720
I don't think
That's the right thing to do.
894
00:48:12,022 --> 00:48:15,858
Judas!
895
00:48:15,860 --> 00:48:21,697
But i will... I will say that
It's none of you six men.
896
00:48:24,700 --> 00:48:26,801
Nor is it you.
897
00:48:28,603 --> 00:48:30,537
Or you.
898
00:48:34,175 --> 00:48:36,943
No. Or you.
899
00:48:40,113 --> 00:48:43,215
It is not you.
900
00:48:43,217 --> 00:48:45,449
Or judas.
901
00:48:46,952 --> 00:48:49,353
Ben!
Randy?
902
00:48:49,355 --> 00:48:52,055
Hey, ben, wake up.
903
00:48:52,057 --> 00:48:54,858
Ben, this is
Your big chance.
904
00:48:54,860 --> 00:48:56,727
Ben.
Randy.
905
00:48:56,729 --> 00:48:57,794
Ben. Hey, ben!
906
00:49:02,065 --> 00:49:04,666
What's your bloody idea?
907
00:49:04,668 --> 00:49:07,602
This is
Your big chance.
908
00:49:07,604 --> 00:49:10,338
Spoof movie.
Spoof movie?
909
00:49:10,340 --> 00:49:12,806
Oh, no. I hate
Spoof movies.
910
00:49:12,808 --> 00:49:15,675
'Cause that's brilliant.
I said it, i did. I love them.
911
00:49:15,677 --> 00:49:18,078
It's a good idea.
Can you expand on it For us?
912
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,213
There's no plot.
Script?
913
00:49:20,215 --> 00:49:23,182
No script.
Good.
914
00:49:23,184 --> 00:49:29,054
A spoof improv movie.
Yeah, that's what I was goin' for.
915
00:49:29,056 --> 00:49:31,156
Improv spoof movie.
Yeah.
916
00:49:31,158 --> 00:49:32,690
Title?
917
00:49:32,692 --> 00:49:38,428
Not another, um...
Not another... Movie.
918
00:49:38,430 --> 00:49:41,965
I like it.
What do you think, guys?
919
00:49:41,967 --> 00:49:44,567
Do we agree?
I like it?
920
00:49:44,569 --> 00:49:46,435
We're gonna have
So much fun on this.
921
00:49:46,437 --> 00:49:48,837
We all agree?
We're all focused On the same direction.
922
00:49:48,839 --> 00:49:51,106
Now i don't
Have to kill ya.
923
00:49:54,210 --> 00:49:57,444
Long day.
924
00:49:58,781 --> 00:50:02,415
I'm frustrated.
Spoof movies!
925
00:50:04,519 --> 00:50:07,753
All the time, every minute,
I fall asleep, you know,
926
00:50:07,755 --> 00:50:09,221
And i dream
Of these spoof movies,
927
00:50:09,223 --> 00:50:10,790
And i hate it.
I wanna be...
928
00:50:11,959 --> 00:50:14,759
Sorry. When i think of
A spoof movie,
929
00:50:14,761 --> 00:50:18,096
I just... ...
I kinda get upset.
930
00:50:18,098 --> 00:50:22,132
But i wanna dream of art movies,
You know, like the piano.
931
00:50:22,134 --> 00:50:24,634
Or pi.
Those are art.
932
00:50:24,636 --> 00:50:28,005
Not spoofs.
Not at all.
933
00:50:28,007 --> 00:50:30,472
Randy.
What?
934
00:50:47,655 --> 00:50:53,126
Okay, go and write it, dude.
Write your spoof movie, man.
935
00:50:53,128 --> 00:50:54,794
Yeah, sure.
936
00:50:54,796 --> 00:50:59,097
Congratulations.
Let's do a spoof movie.
937
00:51:00,766 --> 00:51:03,267
I got a lot of Brainstorming to do On the spoof movies.
938
00:51:03,269 --> 00:51:05,036
I love spoof movies.
939
00:51:09,107 --> 00:51:11,341
Do i think they'll do it?
940
00:51:12,776 --> 00:51:15,411
It's possible.
Do i think i could
941
00:51:15,413 --> 00:51:17,947
Kill one of them
And get away with it?
942
00:51:17,949 --> 00:51:19,715
It's possible.
943
00:51:22,585 --> 00:51:26,020
It's possible.
944
00:51:26,022 --> 00:51:29,590
So stupid! So stupid!
945
00:51:33,728 --> 00:51:37,429
Spoof movie!
946
00:51:58,382 --> 00:52:01,784
Oh, sorry, kitty.
Daddy's...
947
00:52:01,786 --> 00:52:04,387
Wait a second.
I don't have a cat.
948
00:52:06,489 --> 00:52:08,957
This isn't my apartment.
- Hello?
949
00:52:15,264 --> 00:52:17,564
So...
950
00:52:17,566 --> 00:52:19,933
Why are you so sad?
951
00:52:19,935 --> 00:52:22,302
Wendy, i did
Something horrible.
952
00:52:22,304 --> 00:52:25,771
I did something i said
I would never do my whole life
953
00:52:25,773 --> 00:52:30,376
I sold my soul.
I'm making a spoof movie.
954
00:52:30,378 --> 00:52:34,545
You can never talk to me
Again if you don't want to.
955
00:52:34,547 --> 00:52:36,580
First of all,
I like spoof movies.
956
00:52:36,582 --> 00:52:39,783
No, you don't.
You're always talking In our poetry club
957
00:52:39,785 --> 00:52:42,452
How you hate 'em
And they're stupid...
958
00:52:42,454 --> 00:52:44,654
No, i don't.
Everybody else does that.
959
00:52:44,656 --> 00:52:47,856
And besides, who cares
What everybody else thinks?
960
00:52:47,858 --> 00:52:52,928
This is your big chance To make a movie.
You should be happy.
961
00:52:52,930 --> 00:52:56,231
You, right now, are like
A proverb to my soul.
962
00:52:56,233 --> 00:52:58,066
I'm gonna do it.
963
00:52:58,068 --> 00:53:01,735
I'm gonna make that
Piece of crap spoof movie,
964
00:53:01,737 --> 00:53:05,705
And it's gonna be The best piece of
crap That anybody has ever made.
965
00:53:05,707 --> 00:53:08,408
Can you make me
One pinky promise?
966
00:53:08,410 --> 00:53:09,943
You've got
Both of 'em.
967
00:53:09,945 --> 00:53:12,845
Can you just not make
A drama about a tricycle?
968
00:53:14,414 --> 00:53:16,148
Oh, yeah.
No, no, no.
969
00:53:17,418 --> 00:53:19,517
I'm kidding, randy.
970
00:53:19,519 --> 00:53:22,353
I read your script,
Remember, about your abuse.
971
00:53:22,355 --> 00:53:25,722
Yeah. That actually
Wasn't about me, remember?
972
00:53:25,724 --> 00:53:29,426
That was about my cousin.
The character, my cousin.
973
00:53:29,428 --> 00:53:30,760
Then why did you
Call him randy
974
00:53:30,762 --> 00:53:32,963
And have the same
Parents' names as yours?
975
00:53:32,965 --> 00:53:35,965
And how he also
Had a brother named joshua?
976
00:53:35,967 --> 00:53:39,568
You're right.
Making A spoof movie's A great opportunity.
977
00:53:44,706 --> 00:53:47,575
So it's the big day. Oh!
978
00:53:47,577 --> 00:53:49,443
It's the start of
Pre-production,
979
00:53:49,445 --> 00:53:51,845
And i have got
A lot of pressure on me.
980
00:53:51,847 --> 00:53:54,314
You know,
Because i'm in charge.
981
00:53:54,316 --> 00:53:56,115
But it's okay,
982
00:53:56,117 --> 00:53:58,384
Because everyone says
I work best under pressure.
983
00:54:07,093 --> 00:54:10,494
Speak english!
Speak english!
984
00:54:24,073 --> 00:54:25,907
Where's randy?
985
00:54:25,909 --> 00:54:28,743
I think he quit,
So i'll just take over.
986
00:54:28,745 --> 00:54:30,878
Sorry i'm late.
987
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:33,147
Hey, where you been?
You'll never believe What happened, guys.
988
00:54:33,149 --> 00:54:35,316
I woke up and all
My wheels were flat.
989
00:54:35,318 --> 00:54:37,350
Apparently i ran over
A bunch of knives last night.
990
00:54:37,352 --> 00:54:40,153
Everybody's wondering What
their job's gonna be On the shoot.
991
00:54:40,155 --> 00:54:41,888
Yeah.
992
00:54:41,890 --> 00:54:44,156
Okay. Yeah, great.
I can tell you this.
993
00:54:44,158 --> 00:54:47,126
Wes and steve, you're gonna
Be production assistants.
994
00:54:47,128 --> 00:54:49,495
Just ask ernie.
It's a great job.
995
00:54:49,497 --> 00:54:53,731
No! Are you kidding me?
996
00:54:53,733 --> 00:54:55,966
Production assistant.
997
00:54:55,968 --> 00:54:58,701
I am the head writer
Of this studio.
998
00:54:58,703 --> 00:55:00,837
You know what? Fine.
999
00:55:00,839 --> 00:55:03,206
If randy wants to have
A little war,
1000
00:55:03,208 --> 00:55:06,308
That's what randy's gonna get.
He's gonna get a war.
1001
00:55:06,310 --> 00:55:10,479
Okay, bart, you're gonna
Be doing casting.
1002
00:55:10,481 --> 00:55:15,150
Oh, ernie,
i was Thinking you could be The executive producer.
1003
00:55:15,152 --> 00:55:19,586
Don't you think lester Might murder ernie If he finds out
1004
00:55:19,588 --> 00:55:21,655
He's executive producer?
1005
00:55:21,657 --> 00:55:23,090
I don't wanna be
Executive producer.
1006
00:55:23,092 --> 00:55:25,991
Ernie, you can do it.
Trust me, man. Trust me.
1007
00:55:25,993 --> 00:55:28,194
Randy, i don't want it!
Calm down.
1008
00:55:28,196 --> 00:55:30,829
You can be
The boom operator.
1009
00:55:30,831 --> 00:55:32,464
Let's see.
Is that everybody?
1010
00:55:32,466 --> 00:55:34,199
What about me?
1011
00:55:34,201 --> 00:55:38,036
Oh, well,
i just assumed You would've known You were makeup.
1012
00:55:38,038 --> 00:55:41,272
Okay here.
I think that's good.
1013
00:55:41,274 --> 00:55:43,474
Because i'm a woman.
1014
00:55:43,476 --> 00:55:45,308
I don't even wear makeup.
1015
00:55:45,310 --> 00:55:48,144
I don't know
Anything about it.
1016
00:55:48,146 --> 00:55:51,913
I have six brothers.
I learned to pee standing up.
1017
00:55:51,915 --> 00:55:56,751
Okay, was that everybody?
I know i gave you a job.
1018
00:55:56,753 --> 00:55:59,353
Randy, y nosotros?
1019
00:56:01,791 --> 00:56:04,725
I thought the new boss Was supposed
to fire Alejandro and guzman.
1020
00:56:04,727 --> 00:56:06,493
I thought he did.
1021
00:56:06,495 --> 00:56:07,827
I thought you told me You were gonna Say something.
1022
00:56:07,829 --> 00:56:09,963
I told 'em
They were fired.
1023
00:56:09,965 --> 00:56:12,598
But when i was in the meeting,
I came in, i didn't Expect to see them.
1024
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:14,233
It was so awkward.
1025
00:56:14,235 --> 00:56:16,469
I told 'em.
I don't think They understand.
1026
00:56:16,471 --> 00:56:19,338
It's probably 'cause
They don't speak english.
1027
00:56:19,340 --> 00:56:21,806
Maybe you should try
To say something again.
1028
00:56:21,808 --> 00:56:24,576
You're probably right.
I feel so bad.
1029
00:56:24,578 --> 00:56:27,511
I know. They're
Such great guys.
1030
00:56:27,513 --> 00:56:30,581
Just don't tell 'em
I said anything, okay?
1031
00:56:30,583 --> 00:56:32,182
Okay.
1032
00:56:32,184 --> 00:56:35,384
All right, guys.
1033
00:56:35,386 --> 00:56:37,753
Bad news again.
1034
00:56:37,755 --> 00:56:40,422
You're fired.
1035
00:56:40,424 --> 00:56:42,290
Gracias.
1036
00:56:42,292 --> 00:56:44,759
Gracias.
1037
00:56:45,628 --> 00:56:47,728
Adios.
1038
00:56:47,730 --> 00:56:51,064
I heard a voice in the...
1039
00:56:51,066 --> 00:56:53,667
I'm sorry.
It's the...
1040
00:56:53,669 --> 00:56:56,469
You know, square...
1041
00:56:56,471 --> 00:56:58,304
Cold thing.
1042
00:56:58,306 --> 00:57:01,873
Bottom line, boom.
I was born to do casting.
1043
00:57:01,875 --> 00:57:03,942
Okay? My brain farts
Are box office gold.
1044
00:57:03,944 --> 00:57:06,011
See, here's what it says.
"Refrig..."
1045
00:57:06,013 --> 00:57:07,711
Just say it so i know
You can say the word.
1046
00:57:07,713 --> 00:57:11,249
Refrigerator. That's really good.
Now just use it!
1047
00:57:11,251 --> 00:57:14,917
Acting is reacting. You're doing
None of these things.
1048
00:57:16,254 --> 00:57:19,689
Ernie! Thanks for
Bringing your sister in.
1049
00:57:19,691 --> 00:57:21,757
Hey, i'm an actor,
So i get it.
1050
00:57:21,759 --> 00:57:23,292
I get it.
I get what it takes.
1051
00:57:23,294 --> 00:57:24,893
Do you...
1052
00:57:27,298 --> 00:57:29,797
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for coming to Our facility. Thank you.
1053
00:57:29,799 --> 00:57:33,301
Never... Ever...
1054
00:57:33,303 --> 00:57:36,903
Feed them...
Before midnight.
1055
00:57:36,905 --> 00:57:38,372
I mean, after.
1056
00:57:38,374 --> 00:57:41,808
No! Everything you're
Doing is poop.
1057
00:57:41,810 --> 00:57:44,777
Run, forrest.
I corre!
1058
00:57:44,779 --> 00:57:46,145
No!
1059
00:57:46,147 --> 00:57:50,182
Forrest, corre!
Corre, forrest.
1060
00:57:51,450 --> 00:57:54,452
Corre! Corre!
No, no.
1061
00:57:57,256 --> 00:58:01,024
I'm in a play right now
On broadway.
1062
00:58:01,026 --> 00:58:03,159
Not the new york broadway.
1063
00:58:03,161 --> 00:58:05,195
Broadway street
Over in glendale.
1064
00:58:05,197 --> 00:58:08,064
There's a theater, nice stage,
Plenty of parking, 99-seat.
1065
00:58:08,066 --> 00:58:10,065
Got ourselves
A nice little run.
1066
00:58:10,067 --> 00:58:12,133
There's even a concession
Stand in the back.
1067
00:58:12,135 --> 00:58:16,405
Boom! Friend request.
Denied.
1068
00:58:23,611 --> 00:58:26,213
Don't cross the streams.
1069
00:58:27,682 --> 00:58:30,116
Thank you.
1070
00:58:41,260 --> 00:58:43,494
What? What?
Say it. What?
1071
00:58:43,496 --> 00:58:45,962
Took me a long time
To hang those up.
1072
00:58:48,999 --> 00:58:50,667
Ernie, just leave it.
1073
00:58:50,669 --> 00:58:53,836
Sorry, i...
Just leave it.
1074
00:58:54,838 --> 00:58:56,305
That's my sister.
1075
00:58:56,307 --> 00:58:59,507
The bottom line is,
I get it.
1076
00:58:59,509 --> 00:59:03,578
Okay, uh... Ooh,
Funniest comedian Of all time.
1077
00:59:03,580 --> 00:59:07,047
Steve... Steven seagal.
What about nipsey russell?
1078
00:59:07,049 --> 00:59:09,650
No, ernie.
It's The little kid From jerry maguire.
1079
00:59:18,691 --> 00:59:22,394
Wait a minute.
This used to be The bathroom.
1080
00:59:22,396 --> 00:59:24,663
We're just doing
A little editing here.
1081
00:59:24,665 --> 00:59:27,365
Choppin' it up, Makin' dreams come true.
What brings you back?
1082
00:59:27,367 --> 00:59:31,535
I'm just checkin' up On my brother,
see how He's runnin' the show.
1083
00:59:31,537 --> 00:59:34,271
Who's your brother?
Because all visitors Are supposed to check in
1084
00:59:34,273 --> 00:59:38,375
With lewis in the lobby,
And he's a stickler.
1085
00:59:38,377 --> 00:59:40,409
His name is lester,
Lester storm.
1086
00:59:40,411 --> 00:59:42,678
Don't recall.
He's your boss.
1087
00:59:42,680 --> 00:59:44,413
I thought I was the boss.
I'm taking over for you.
1088
00:59:44,415 --> 00:59:47,014
Randy, randy, randy,
He owns the studio.
1089
00:59:47,016 --> 00:59:49,884
You are the director,
Which means you are Not in charge.
1090
00:59:49,886 --> 00:59:52,019
Hold it, hold it.
1091
00:59:52,021 --> 00:59:53,153
You're the director?
1092
00:59:53,155 --> 00:59:55,221
Yes, sir.
You're the p.A.
1093
00:59:55,223 --> 00:59:58,425
I remember you.
You're that p.A. You're ken or whatever it is.
1094
00:59:58,427 --> 01:00:01,294
It's randy, actually.
I just remember, Though, you were a p.A.
1095
01:00:01,296 --> 01:00:03,362
That was a long
Time ago, sir.
1096
01:00:03,364 --> 01:00:07,064
That was three days ago.
I know. It's been, Like, 72 hours.
1097
01:00:07,066 --> 01:00:09,301
He's makin'
A spoof movie.
1098
01:00:09,303 --> 01:00:11,603
No, ernie!
It's really, really funny.
1099
01:00:11,605 --> 01:00:13,104
Uh-huh.
1100
01:00:13,106 --> 01:00:15,439
Spoof movies.
I hate them. Hate them.
1101
01:00:15,441 --> 01:00:18,542
I don't care
What you call 'em.
1102
01:00:18,544 --> 01:00:22,845
It's just cheap, cheap parody.
It can even be expensive.
1103
01:00:22,847 --> 01:00:25,281
They tried to do
Gone with the breeze.
1104
01:00:25,283 --> 01:00:27,283
They couldn't even
Get the fires going.
1105
01:00:27,285 --> 01:00:29,150
It was like a breeze.
Just a breeze.
1106
01:00:29,152 --> 01:00:31,119
Huh? I don't get it.
I don't get it.
1107
01:00:31,121 --> 01:00:33,121
I don't get spoof movies.
1108
01:00:33,123 --> 01:00:37,491
I don't see any art In spoofing something That was art.
1109
01:00:39,762 --> 01:00:41,761
Well, wait.
1110
01:00:41,763 --> 01:00:44,731
No, don't like 'em.
Don't like spoof movies.
1111
01:00:44,733 --> 01:00:46,866
We're making one?
1112
01:00:46,868 --> 01:00:49,335
You know where
The men's room is?
1113
01:00:49,337 --> 01:00:51,403
It's right
Out that door.
1114
01:00:51,405 --> 01:00:55,272
Coming through. Coming in. Hey.
Know where the men's room is?
1115
01:00:55,274 --> 01:00:57,475
Best action movie
Of all time.
1116
01:00:57,477 --> 01:01:00,745
Over the top. Wrong.
Delta force. Scariest movie.
1117
01:01:00,747 --> 01:01:03,213
Scariest movie?
1118
01:01:04,349 --> 01:01:08,084
When i turned ten,
I saw something
1119
01:01:08,086 --> 01:01:09,284
That scared the crap
Outta me.
1120
01:01:09,286 --> 01:01:13,356
A bad guy in a movie, um...
1121
01:01:13,358 --> 01:01:15,691
I don't know
How to put into words...
1122
01:01:15,693 --> 01:01:17,525
Terrorizing.
1123
01:01:17,527 --> 01:01:22,963
He kept me up so many nights,
Givin' me nightmares.
1124
01:01:25,433 --> 01:01:27,401
Still does.
1125
01:01:27,403 --> 01:01:31,904
It was the bad guy from
Kindergarten cop.
1126
01:01:34,074 --> 01:01:35,441
Hey, how you doin'?
1127
01:01:35,443 --> 01:01:37,776
Hey, how's it goin'?
Good.
1128
01:01:37,778 --> 01:01:40,211
Kindergarten cop.
Hey, how are you?
1129
01:01:40,213 --> 01:01:42,213
Awesome to meet You, man.
Richard tyson.
1130
01:01:42,215 --> 01:01:44,214
Richard, bart.
Wow. I'm bart.
1131
01:01:44,216 --> 01:01:47,418
Yeah, just put that
On file there. Wow!
1132
01:01:47,420 --> 01:01:50,219
Yeah. On file here.
That's awesome. Nice to meet you.
1133
01:01:50,221 --> 01:01:52,321
What's your name?
I'm bart.
1134
01:01:52,323 --> 01:01:54,223
Bart, nice to
Meet you, man.
1135
01:01:54,225 --> 01:01:56,092
This is my best head shot
I've ever had.
1136
01:01:56,094 --> 01:01:59,060
We'll keep it on file here.
This is randy.
1137
01:01:59,062 --> 01:02:01,129
Hey, randy, how you--
1138
01:02:01,131 --> 01:02:03,399
Randy?
Randy?
1139
01:02:07,836 --> 01:02:09,837
Is it something i ate?
That is randy.
1140
01:02:09,839 --> 01:02:11,471
He's energetic, isn't he?
1141
01:02:11,473 --> 01:02:14,274
I'm wiping my eyes.
Am i sitting here With richard tyson?
1142
01:02:14,276 --> 01:02:16,376
Are you? Wow.
Wow!
1143
01:02:16,378 --> 01:02:18,411
I'm very honored to be here.
1144
01:02:18,413 --> 01:02:20,813
I mean, yeah.
You might be Perfect for this.
1145
01:02:20,815 --> 01:02:22,548
Might be?
1146
01:02:22,550 --> 01:02:24,616
Remember when you Worked with
schwarzenegger On kindergarten cop?
1147
01:02:24,618 --> 01:02:26,183
Oh, schwarzenegger.
Yeah, yeah.
1148
01:02:26,185 --> 01:02:28,152
You guys had
That on-screen chemistry.
1149
01:02:28,154 --> 01:02:30,154
I looked at you,
And you get it Like i get it.
1150
01:02:30,156 --> 01:02:31,488
On-screen what?
1151
01:02:33,057 --> 01:02:37,193
You know, i'm starting to
Get used to this makeup thing.
1152
01:02:37,195 --> 01:02:40,296
I mean, it's a gift.
I never knew i had it,
1153
01:02:40,298 --> 01:02:43,299
But i'm pretty good at it.
1154
01:02:43,301 --> 01:02:47,803
Kind of regret not wearing it
More as a child.
1155
01:02:47,805 --> 01:02:49,504
Maybe i should try it.
1156
01:02:52,108 --> 01:02:55,042
What up, what up?
Tryin' to make an honest dollar.
1157
01:02:55,044 --> 01:02:57,044
Know what i'm sayin',
Guys, boss man?
1158
01:02:57,046 --> 01:02:58,846
One more word, i'll
Rip your lips off
1159
01:02:58,848 --> 01:03:01,080
And glue 'em to your navel.
Morning, randy.
1160
01:03:01,082 --> 01:03:03,650
Good morning.
What a happy day, huh?
1161
01:03:03,652 --> 01:03:05,552
Amanda.
Yes, sir?
1162
01:03:05,554 --> 01:03:08,186
You look Like a hooker.
Thank you, sir.
1163
01:03:08,188 --> 01:03:10,489
That's very sweet.
Buenos dias.
1164
01:03:10,491 --> 01:03:12,223
Hola.
1165
01:03:12,225 --> 01:03:14,258
What are they
Still doing here?
1166
01:03:14,260 --> 01:03:17,061
Let's get down to it.
Let's go over these schedules.
1167
01:03:18,263 --> 01:03:20,630
We have one week left. Randy,
1168
01:03:20,632 --> 01:03:22,332
You have the details.
1169
01:03:22,334 --> 01:03:24,468
I apologize. I'll go over
The details here.
1170
01:03:24,470 --> 01:03:27,503
Sir, what we have
Here with the... Ow!
1171
01:03:27,505 --> 01:03:29,939
What's your problem?
1172
01:03:29,941 --> 01:03:31,874
I think something
Bit me, sir. Ow! Mm!
1173
01:03:31,876 --> 01:03:33,442
What's wrong, randy?
1174
01:03:33,444 --> 01:03:36,644
Oh, oh!
You okay?
1175
01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:39,714
I feel like something
Is biting my nards.
1176
01:03:39,716 --> 01:03:42,315
You're screwin' with
My hangover right now.
1177
01:03:42,317 --> 01:03:44,551
I'm so sorry. No!
1178
01:03:44,553 --> 01:03:47,020
You want me to fire you?
You'll be off this project.
1179
01:03:47,022 --> 01:03:51,290
Feels like something is Literally
taking a bite Of my genitals.
1180
01:03:51,292 --> 01:03:53,726
One more word, and i'll
Staple your lips together.
1181
01:03:53,728 --> 01:03:57,128
'Cause i have a nail gun...
1182
01:03:57,130 --> 01:03:59,263
Right here.
1183
01:03:59,265 --> 01:04:02,099
Now keep it shut.
1184
01:04:02,101 --> 01:04:04,234
Right. Saving caps.
What are we gonna do?
1185
01:04:04,236 --> 01:04:08,404
You know what, sir?
I actually don't have Any ideas on this matter,
1186
01:04:08,406 --> 01:04:11,040
But randy has quite a few.
Go ahead, randy.
1187
01:04:11,042 --> 01:04:12,642
Randy?
1188
01:04:12,644 --> 01:04:15,477
You understand the queen's
English, randy? Spit it out.
1189
01:04:15,479 --> 01:04:17,345
Just tell him Your ideas.
1190
01:04:17,347 --> 01:04:20,649
Come on, randy.
Just let it out. Go ahead.
1191
01:04:22,718 --> 01:04:24,585
Get off my shoes, randy.
1192
01:04:24,587 --> 01:04:28,755
That's what we don't Need in a leader, right?
Am i right?
1193
01:04:28,757 --> 01:04:31,224
It was kind of like
Being pinched really hard
1194
01:04:31,226 --> 01:04:33,226
In the nut sack.
1195
01:04:33,228 --> 01:04:35,495
My dad used to pinch me
Really hard
1196
01:04:35,497 --> 01:04:37,796
When i wouldn't salute him
Or call him sir,
1197
01:04:37,798 --> 01:04:40,666
Or get the towels In the
bathroom Aligned just perfectly.
1198
01:04:40,668 --> 01:04:43,167
They had to be perfect,
The his and her towels.
1199
01:04:43,169 --> 01:04:46,337
I mean, aligned just right,
Or, oof!
1200
01:04:46,339 --> 01:04:49,606
He also used to shoot me
With a bb gun, and that hurt.
1201
01:04:49,608 --> 01:04:51,608
Wait a second.
1202
01:04:51,610 --> 01:04:53,476
If you mess with me,
1203
01:04:53,478 --> 01:04:56,278
I will cut your throat
Like a stick of butter.
1204
01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:58,714
Like a stick
Of butter. Like.
1205
01:04:58,716 --> 01:05:00,550
No. I mean...
1206
01:05:00,552 --> 01:05:02,552
If you mess with me,
I will cut your throat...
1207
01:05:02,554 --> 01:05:04,619
You're not scary.
"If you mess with me,
1208
01:05:04,621 --> 01:05:07,956
I'll cut your throat Like a stick of butter,"
Is the line.
1209
01:05:07,958 --> 01:05:12,359
If you mess with me,
I will cut your throat Like a stick of butter.
1210
01:05:12,361 --> 01:05:14,428
Okay?
It was bad.
1211
01:05:14,430 --> 01:05:16,697
I'll tell you,
You're too cute...
1212
01:05:16,699 --> 01:05:19,699
If you mess with me,
I will cut your throat Like a stick of butter.
1213
01:05:19,701 --> 01:05:22,035
That's the best you got?
Ow! What?
1214
01:05:22,037 --> 01:05:24,703
If you mess with me,
1215
01:05:24,705 --> 01:05:28,206
I will cut your throat
Like a stick of butter.
1216
01:05:28,208 --> 01:05:31,141
I knew it!
Get out of my way!
1217
01:05:32,243 --> 01:05:34,378
What's wrong with that guy?
1218
01:05:35,948 --> 01:05:38,682
I don't know.
What's this guy's problem?
1219
01:05:38,684 --> 01:05:41,585
I'm gonna fuckin'
Knock him across the wall
1220
01:05:41,587 --> 01:05:43,720
In a second here.
I don't...
1221
01:05:43,722 --> 01:05:47,056
What's he afraid of, ya know?
I celebrate christmas,
1222
01:05:47,058 --> 01:05:52,060
I go to the ymca
On occasion.
1223
01:05:52,062 --> 01:05:54,261
I walk to the park.
1224
01:05:54,263 --> 01:05:57,198
Sometimes, i sail on boats.
1225
01:05:57,200 --> 01:06:00,801
Randy? Hey, i'm sorry, dude.
1226
01:06:00,803 --> 01:06:04,104
Come on. We got off
On the wrong foot.
1227
01:06:04,106 --> 01:06:08,841
I feel bad. I was just Readin' my lines, right?
You wrote the lines.
1228
01:06:08,843 --> 01:06:11,010
If you come out here,
We give it a chance,
1229
01:06:11,012 --> 01:06:13,344
We'll start over.
How's that sound?
1230
01:06:14,914 --> 01:06:16,648
All right.
1231
01:06:16,650 --> 01:06:20,150
You're startin' to make me
Look like an asshole.
1232
01:06:20,152 --> 01:06:23,487
If you don't come up,
I'm gonna go out to my truck,
1233
01:06:23,489 --> 01:06:26,522
Get my filet knife,
And gut you like a fish.
1234
01:06:29,593 --> 01:06:33,194
Startin' to make me
Look like an asshole.
1235
01:06:33,196 --> 01:06:35,363
'Cause acting,
That's like a tennis match.
1236
01:06:35,365 --> 01:06:38,066
It's like, you fire
Me a line and then you fire one.
1237
01:06:38,068 --> 01:06:40,034
And then it's
Back and forth.
1238
01:06:40,036 --> 01:06:42,103
Who wins, i don't know.
That's how the scene plays out,
1239
01:06:42,105 --> 01:06:44,338
but, um... When
A few good men came out,
1240
01:06:44,340 --> 01:06:47,841
Were you gettin',
Like, mad ass?
1241
01:06:47,843 --> 01:06:49,142
I'm married.
1242
01:06:49,144 --> 01:06:50,644
That's cool.
1243
01:06:50,646 --> 01:06:53,411
You know what?
I need to talk To the director,
1244
01:06:53,413 --> 01:06:55,714
If he's awake.
1245
01:06:55,716 --> 01:06:57,516
Randy!
1246
01:07:01,987 --> 01:07:05,089
Okay, patrick,
How's it goin'? Any word?
1247
01:07:05,091 --> 01:07:06,724
Nothin'.
Okay.
1248
01:07:06,726 --> 01:07:10,527
John. John, how you doin'
On that asteroid, man?
1249
01:07:14,131 --> 01:07:18,467
Listen, we really need you To push that
button or We're all gonna die here, john.
1250
01:07:18,469 --> 01:07:24,072
John! We really need you
To push that button, man.
1251
01:07:24,074 --> 01:07:26,274
Come on, john,
Push the button.
1252
01:07:26,276 --> 01:07:29,342
What are you doin', john?
1253
01:07:29,344 --> 01:07:31,278
What are you doin'?
1254
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:33,814
John, push
The button, buddy.
1255
01:07:33,816 --> 01:07:36,115
Come out to the asteroid,
We'll get together,
1256
01:07:36,117 --> 01:07:38,051
We'll have a few laughs.
1257
01:07:38,053 --> 01:07:41,220
John, you gotta do it, man!
We're runnin' outta time. Come on, mcclane.
1258
01:07:41,222 --> 01:07:43,188
Welcome to the party, pal.
1259
01:07:43,190 --> 01:07:45,924
John, listen to me Very carefully.
You gotta push that button.
1260
01:07:45,926 --> 01:07:48,793
What do you think,
I'm stupid, ha--?
1261
01:07:50,528 --> 01:07:53,898
I said, what do you think,
I'm stupid, hans?
1262
01:07:53,900 --> 01:07:57,133
Who the hell is hans?
John, come on, man. Push the button!
1263
01:07:57,135 --> 01:07:58,534
Let me talk
To my daughter.
1264
01:08:00,204 --> 01:08:02,105
John, listen to me
Very carefully.
1265
01:08:02,107 --> 01:08:04,639
You've already spoken to
Your daughter three times, okay?
1266
01:08:04,641 --> 01:08:09,110
Daddy? Hey, baby.
It's daddy.
1267
01:08:09,112 --> 01:08:14,148
You gotta help us. We need to live.
You gotta push the button.
1268
01:08:14,150 --> 01:08:17,184
I'm gonna have to break
That promise i made to ya.
1269
01:08:17,186 --> 01:08:18,785
Daddy's not
Comin' home.
1270
01:08:18,787 --> 01:08:21,855
I know. You gotta
Push the button, okay?
1271
01:08:21,857 --> 01:08:24,990
What am i doin'
With a gun in space?
1272
01:08:24,992 --> 01:08:27,593
You gotta press the button!
Press the button!
1273
01:08:27,595 --> 01:08:29,095
Push it, john!
Daddy, push it!
1274
01:08:29,097 --> 01:08:30,561
Let me talk to him.
Okay.
1275
01:08:30,563 --> 01:08:33,364
I gotta quit
Smokin' cigarettes.
1276
01:08:33,366 --> 01:08:38,602
Dad, it's me. Listen.
What you're doin' is A very brave thing.
1277
01:08:38,604 --> 01:08:41,004
You should be proud.
I am.
1278
01:08:41,006 --> 01:08:44,340
I'm just the wrong guy In the
wrong place At the wrong time.
1279
01:08:44,342 --> 01:08:47,877
Wait a minute.
That's not my dad.
1280
01:08:47,879 --> 01:08:52,547
My dad's supposed to be Flying a
fighter jet into An alien spaceship.
1281
01:08:55,051 --> 01:08:57,085
Who's drivin' this ship,
Stevie wonder?
1282
01:08:57,087 --> 01:08:59,186
Sorry.
It's cool.
1283
01:08:59,188 --> 01:09:01,288
There's some tang In the cooler.
I'll get some tang.
1284
01:09:01,290 --> 01:09:03,023
They still make tang?
They do.
1285
01:09:03,025 --> 01:09:05,591
I love tang.
You know they make Grape tang now.
1286
01:09:05,593 --> 01:09:08,628
John! John,
Push the button, john!
1287
01:09:08,630 --> 01:09:10,563
Johnny, push
The button, john!
1288
01:09:10,565 --> 01:09:12,697
It's over, john.
We all hate you, john.
1289
01:09:12,699 --> 01:09:14,566
Push it!
1290
01:09:14,568 --> 01:09:16,769
Yippie-kai-yay, mother...
1291
01:09:18,270 --> 01:09:20,004
Yippie-kai-yay, mother...
1292
01:09:25,042 --> 01:09:28,645
Yippie-kai-yay, moth--
1293
01:09:28,647 --> 01:09:32,314
He pushed the button!
He pushed the button!
1294
01:09:33,917 --> 01:09:36,585
I love him.
He pushed the button.
1295
01:09:36,587 --> 01:09:38,420
I love my dad.
Guys, actually,
1296
01:09:38,422 --> 01:09:40,121
He didn't push
The button in time.
1297
01:09:40,123 --> 01:09:41,489
What?
1298
01:09:41,491 --> 01:09:43,391
He only missed it
By a few minutes.
1299
01:09:43,393 --> 01:09:45,393
Yeah, exactly.
1300
01:09:45,395 --> 01:09:48,395
Actually, he missed it
By about an hour and a half.
1301
01:09:48,397 --> 01:09:52,299
Oh, look. It just
Touched the earth.
1302
01:09:54,067 --> 01:09:55,001
Are we gonna...
1303
01:10:01,407 --> 01:10:04,342
Randy!
Get up.
1304
01:10:05,411 --> 01:10:07,544
Wastin' the talent's
Time here.
1305
01:10:08,980 --> 01:10:10,547
I'll talk to you, cuba.
1306
01:10:10,549 --> 01:10:13,482
Sorry about that.
I dozed off there.
1307
01:10:13,484 --> 01:10:17,420
Hey, i was hopin' I'd get a
chance To talk to you, wolfgang.
1308
01:10:17,422 --> 01:10:19,722
Can i call you wolf?
Yeah.
1309
01:10:19,724 --> 01:10:22,090
Great. Listen, dawg,
You had a great performance,
1310
01:10:22,092 --> 01:10:24,259
Especially those Last few takes.
It was so good.
1311
01:10:24,261 --> 01:10:26,594
It was great.
There's nothin' I can even say.
1312
01:10:26,596 --> 01:10:28,395
It was amazing.
Thank you.
1313
01:10:28,397 --> 01:10:33,500
I do have some notes,
Mainly about your dialogue. Not working.
1314
01:10:33,502 --> 01:10:35,568
You want me to do
Something different?
1315
01:10:35,570 --> 01:10:37,704
I'm just tryin' to do
The lines like in the movie.
1316
01:10:37,706 --> 01:10:40,873
Yeah, that's what i was Hoping for, too,
along With the rest of the crew.
1317
01:10:40,875 --> 01:10:43,876
Really, what i was hoping For was
maybe that you Did some research,
1318
01:10:43,878 --> 01:10:48,246
And maybe rented the movie
Once or twice or once.
1319
01:10:48,248 --> 01:10:53,318
Really researched it,
Because you obviously Don't know what a code red is.
1320
01:10:53,320 --> 01:10:57,321
I don't need To rent the movie.
I was in the movie.
1321
01:10:57,323 --> 01:10:59,389
I know what
A code red is.
1322
01:10:59,391 --> 01:11:02,458
Were you an extra?
An extra?
1323
01:11:02,460 --> 01:11:05,728
Mm-hmm.
I was one of the leads.
1324
01:11:05,730 --> 01:11:08,064
That's why they
Cast me in this role.
1325
01:11:08,066 --> 01:11:10,298
It was a role
I played in the movie.
1326
01:11:10,300 --> 01:11:12,767
I get it.
1327
01:11:12,769 --> 01:11:15,302
This is an issue
Of industry terminology.
1328
01:11:15,304 --> 01:11:19,673
You see,
a lead is One of the focus characters In the film.
1329
01:11:19,675 --> 01:11:22,375
You were probably
A lead background extra,
1330
01:11:22,377 --> 01:11:24,377
Which is more like
A set piece or a prop.
1331
01:11:24,379 --> 01:11:27,613
I had a pretty good Role in that movie.
1332
01:11:27,615 --> 01:11:30,749
I was not a prop.
1333
01:11:30,751 --> 01:11:32,717
No reason to raise
Your voice, okay?
1334
01:11:32,719 --> 01:11:34,486
Who's raising their voice?
1335
01:11:34,488 --> 01:11:37,721
No reason to scream.
I think there's just A miscommunication here.
1336
01:11:37,723 --> 01:11:40,424
What we're spoofing
Is a military courtroom drama
1337
01:11:40,426 --> 01:11:44,327
That had jack nicholson,
Tom cruise and Denzel washington.
1338
01:11:44,329 --> 01:11:48,865
It wasn't Denzel washington.
It was me.
1339
01:11:48,867 --> 01:11:51,233
Okay?
1340
01:11:51,235 --> 01:11:55,570
I'm the actor Who played the guy Who did the code red.
1341
01:11:55,572 --> 01:11:57,571
Agree to disagree.
1342
01:11:57,573 --> 01:12:00,474
Why are we shooting this
In a spaceship?
1343
01:12:00,476 --> 01:12:02,243
Because that's
Where it happened.
1344
01:12:02,245 --> 01:12:04,778
You know what?
Maybe you oughta Rent the movie.
1345
01:12:04,780 --> 01:12:07,414
Okay, 'cause it did not
Happen in a spaceship.
1346
01:12:07,416 --> 01:12:09,682
It was a courtroom drama.
1347
01:12:09,684 --> 01:12:12,885
Listen, i don't want
To fight with you, okay?
1348
01:12:12,887 --> 01:12:14,921
All i want you to do
Is say the line
1349
01:12:14,923 --> 01:12:17,389
Exactly how
Denzel washington said it.
1350
01:12:17,391 --> 01:12:18,890
"You ordered the code red."
1351
01:12:18,892 --> 01:12:22,060
I did not order
The code red.
1352
01:12:22,062 --> 01:12:24,761
I did it.
1353
01:12:24,763 --> 01:12:27,664
Okay? I'm the guy
That killed santiago.
1354
01:12:27,666 --> 01:12:30,234
Listen, dawg,
I am not a therapist.
1355
01:12:30,236 --> 01:12:33,536
All i need you to do Is say the
line exactly How denzel said it.
1356
01:12:33,538 --> 01:12:35,271
Let me see the script.
1357
01:12:35,273 --> 01:12:37,473
Okay, come inside here.
You know, this is where...
1358
01:12:37,475 --> 01:12:40,108
I'm not gettin' in there.
What am i gettin' in there for?
1359
01:12:40,110 --> 01:12:42,911
Because this is The courthouse,
The judge comes up here.
1360
01:12:42,913 --> 01:12:45,579
No, the judge is over here,
And it's the moment...
1361
01:12:45,581 --> 01:12:47,114
Whatever.
Listen, do the improv.
1362
01:12:47,116 --> 01:12:49,216
You'll be great.
He's gettin' into it.
1363
01:12:49,218 --> 01:12:51,385
Hey, you, uh...
Nicholson and cruise,
1364
01:12:51,387 --> 01:12:54,554
You said they were Gonna do this,
so They're comin', right?
1365
01:12:54,556 --> 01:12:56,622
Absolutely not.
We lied.
1366
01:12:56,624 --> 01:12:59,591
Okay, whenever You're ready.
And, cut.
1367
01:12:59,593 --> 01:13:02,394
Randy.
Oh, hey, wendy.
1368
01:13:02,396 --> 01:13:04,563
How are you?
I'm good.
1369
01:13:04,565 --> 01:13:07,131
Is this a bad time?
Oh, no, i love you.
1370
01:13:07,133 --> 01:13:08,666
I mean,
Walk with me.
1371
01:13:08,668 --> 01:13:11,035
I was just
Talking to an extra.
1372
01:13:11,037 --> 01:13:13,303
I've missed you
The past few weeks.
1373
01:13:13,305 --> 01:13:15,572
Really?
Yeah.
1374
01:13:15,574 --> 01:13:18,442
Listen, i've just been Thinking about
something You said to me over and over,
1375
01:13:18,444 --> 01:13:21,310
And i just wanted to Come down
here and get Some closure on it.
1376
01:13:21,312 --> 01:13:24,513
Oh, no, listen,
I say a lot of things That i don't mean.
1377
01:13:24,515 --> 01:13:26,647
What did i say?
1378
01:13:26,649 --> 01:13:29,584
You said you loved me.
1379
01:13:29,586 --> 01:13:32,253
Might have been
One of those.
1380
01:13:32,255 --> 01:13:34,221
What did you think About what i said Or didn't say?
1381
01:13:34,223 --> 01:13:36,457
I probably didn't.
I don't remember.
1382
01:13:36,459 --> 01:13:38,125
I liked it.
I said it, i did.
1383
01:13:38,127 --> 01:13:40,460
I remember you were
Wearing a green dress.
1384
01:13:40,462 --> 01:13:41,961
So you do?
1385
01:13:41,963 --> 01:13:44,464
Wendy, i wanna
Be honest with you.
1386
01:13:44,466 --> 01:13:46,599
I have a lot of
Commitment issues.
1387
01:13:46,601 --> 01:13:48,433
Would you marry me?
1388
01:13:48,435 --> 01:13:50,935
Problem! Randy, we got A big friggin' problem.
Come on.
1389
01:13:50,937 --> 01:13:53,005
Wait, wait, wait.
Randy.
1390
01:13:53,007 --> 01:13:55,072
I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
1391
01:13:55,074 --> 01:13:57,541
I didn't even mean it.
Or i did. We can Talk about it.
1392
01:14:02,813 --> 01:14:05,348
Hi.
1393
01:14:05,350 --> 01:14:08,617
You're wendy, right?
Yeah.
1394
01:14:11,254 --> 01:14:13,455
It's kind of
A secret,
1395
01:14:13,457 --> 01:14:16,424
But randy's planning
On proposing.
1396
01:14:16,426 --> 01:14:18,426
Oh, yeah?
Shh.
1397
01:14:18,428 --> 01:14:20,895
Okay.
1398
01:14:25,099 --> 01:14:27,167
Okay, calm down
What happened?
1399
01:14:27,169 --> 01:14:30,169
Just a minor issue, randy.
We're missing all of Our footage.
1400
01:14:30,171 --> 01:14:32,571
We only have one tape.
Should we have More than one?
1401
01:14:32,573 --> 01:14:35,573
Hey, news flash, randy.
We're supposed to have 35 tapes.
1402
01:14:35,575 --> 01:14:38,943
35? Randy, where are all the
tapes That we bring you every day
1403
01:14:38,945 --> 01:14:41,413
For the last
Three weeks?
1404
01:14:41,415 --> 01:14:45,582
Okay, i sit here,
And somebody come in And brings me a tape.
1405
01:14:45,584 --> 01:14:49,919
I don't know What to do with it,
So i bring it back to 'em.
1406
01:14:49,921 --> 01:14:52,188
Can i make
An observation, randy?
1407
01:14:52,190 --> 01:14:55,058
You're displaying symptoms
Of mild retardation.
1408
01:14:55,060 --> 01:14:57,859
Oh, now come...
Come on. Come on.
1409
01:14:57,861 --> 01:15:02,097
Randy, how many of the tapes That we
brought to you Did you bring back to us?
1410
01:15:02,099 --> 01:15:04,065
All of 'em?
1411
01:15:04,067 --> 01:15:07,000
You're stressin' me out
Big time, randy.
1412
01:15:09,770 --> 01:15:11,971
I will play The blame game.
What'd i do?
1413
01:15:11,973 --> 01:15:13,806
You screwed up
Big time, randy.
1414
01:15:13,808 --> 01:15:15,908
What's going on?
Idiot recorded over All the footage.
1415
01:15:15,910 --> 01:15:18,277
Did i?
You did?
1416
01:15:18,279 --> 01:15:20,245
Tell him.
1417
01:15:20,247 --> 01:15:22,681
I just proposed,
And i'm pretty sure She said no, and her hair
1418
01:15:22,683 --> 01:15:25,450
Smells like strawberries.
I'll probably never Smell hair again.
1419
01:15:25,452 --> 01:15:27,685
We don't have any tapes,
We don't have any footage.
1420
01:15:27,687 --> 01:15:29,487
This orangutan
Takes the tapes to his room
1421
01:15:29,489 --> 01:15:31,020
And does weird Little thing with them,
Then he brings them back
1422
01:15:31,022 --> 01:15:33,022
And he records over them.
All of it?
1423
01:15:33,024 --> 01:15:34,757
All of it.
1424
01:15:34,759 --> 01:15:36,493
That's horrible. Pinch me.
This ain't a dream.
1425
01:15:36,495 --> 01:15:38,760
Thanks, people.
Give yourselves A pat on the back.
1426
01:15:38,762 --> 01:15:42,831
End of story. Lester's money's gone.
You go and see lester.
1427
01:15:42,833 --> 01:15:46,134
You sort it out With lester.
You complete prick.
1428
01:15:46,136 --> 01:15:49,070
And you two,
That stupid grin On your face.
1429
01:15:49,072 --> 01:15:51,438
We wanted to fire you
Three or four times, okay?
1430
01:15:51,440 --> 01:15:56,210
Yeah? Now you're fired! Right?
Comprende? Fuego! Piss off!
1431
01:15:56,212 --> 01:16:01,247
Out. Ben, do us a favor, son.
You go with 'em, all right?
1432
01:16:01,249 --> 01:16:04,882
Otherwise, i'll get Richard fucking
tyson And sort you smart out.
1433
01:16:04,884 --> 01:16:07,119
Oh, great, i'm fired.
How can this happen?
1434
01:16:07,121 --> 01:16:09,554
Wes, get in here
And sort this out.
1435
01:16:09,556 --> 01:16:11,356
You left me
In the pod.
1436
01:16:11,358 --> 01:16:14,125
I'm sorry i didn't
Rent your movie.
1437
01:16:14,127 --> 01:16:17,495
I don't wanna be
Fired. I'm sorry, okay?
1438
01:16:17,497 --> 01:16:19,095
Randy.
I'm sorry.
1439
01:16:19,097 --> 01:16:22,265
I wanted to talk
To you about the ring.
1440
01:16:22,267 --> 01:16:24,000
I get it, okay?
You don't wanna marry me.
1441
01:16:24,002 --> 01:16:27,969
Randy. Randy,
Here's your last paycheck.
1442
01:16:27,971 --> 01:16:29,938
Let me guess. Another check
Made out to ben.
1443
01:16:29,940 --> 01:16:32,340
I'll tell you what.
I'm not ben, okay?
1444
01:16:32,342 --> 01:16:34,842
I'm not ben,
I'm not ben, I'm not ben,
1445
01:16:34,844 --> 01:16:36,844
I'm not ben,
I'm not ben.
1446
01:16:36,846 --> 01:16:39,746
I'm randy. R-a-n-d-y. Randy.
1447
01:16:39,748 --> 01:16:43,850
The bank doesn't even Accept these.
I can't even cash 'em.
1448
01:16:43,852 --> 01:16:46,318
That was to randy eubanks.
1449
01:16:46,320 --> 01:16:47,886
Do you have any tape?
1450
01:16:47,888 --> 01:16:50,156
No.
Okay.
1451
01:16:50,158 --> 01:16:53,724
Great. No tape!
I wish i was ben.
1452
01:16:53,726 --> 01:16:55,260
Maybe then you'd
Remember my name.
1453
01:16:55,262 --> 01:16:58,563
Maybe then You'd like me,
Not hate me.
1454
01:16:58,565 --> 01:17:02,232
I like my chest hair.
I don't care if you do.
1455
01:17:02,234 --> 01:17:04,901
I wish i was ben.
I wish i was ben!
1456
01:17:04,903 --> 01:17:08,003
I wish i was ben.
1457
01:17:13,909 --> 01:17:17,445
I don't even care anymore.
Stupid ring.
1458
01:17:17,447 --> 01:17:19,447
Sorry, grandma.
1459
01:17:49,241 --> 01:17:52,442
Why does it feel
So good to cry?
1460
01:17:52,444 --> 01:17:56,445
I feel like i've never cried
Until this day.
1461
01:18:11,693 --> 01:18:14,194
What a mess.
1462
01:18:15,529 --> 01:18:17,563
God, he is a moron.
1463
01:18:17,565 --> 01:18:19,365
Randy. Randy?
1464
01:18:19,367 --> 01:18:21,567
What the hell
Are you doin' here?
1465
01:18:21,569 --> 01:18:23,368
I thought i
Took away your key.
1466
01:18:23,370 --> 01:18:26,070
What key? I don't Have a key.
Your door's open.
1467
01:18:26,072 --> 01:18:28,540
You shut up.
You do not speak Unless you are spoken to.
1468
01:18:28,542 --> 01:18:30,307
You just spoke to me.
1469
01:18:30,309 --> 01:18:34,245
I asked you nicely To shut your mouth,
But you just couldn't do it.
1470
01:18:34,247 --> 01:18:36,579
You're gonna get
A visit from mr. Belt.
1471
01:18:36,581 --> 01:18:38,047
What belt?
This belt.
1472
01:18:38,049 --> 01:18:40,450
The one that's Gonna hit you Across your face.
1473
01:18:40,452 --> 01:18:42,984
Oh, that doesn't feel good.
There's no belt.
1474
01:18:42,986 --> 01:18:44,953
Maybe you'll feel it
If it hits your little pecker.
1475
01:18:44,955 --> 01:18:48,457
Oh, doesn't feel good.
Hurts when it hits the tip.
1476
01:18:48,459 --> 01:18:51,259
You're creepin' me out a little Bit,
and i think you got me Confused with someone else.
1477
01:18:51,261 --> 01:18:55,129
I ain't confused, randy,
You chubby little bastard. Now you shut up.
1478
01:18:55,131 --> 01:18:57,196
Why don't you Just calm down-- Shut it!
1479
01:18:57,198 --> 01:18:59,098
Ha!
I don't have time for this.
1480
01:18:59,100 --> 01:19:01,200
Some people at work
Are worried about you,
1481
01:19:01,202 --> 01:19:04,737
So i said i'd come by And check on you.
It really stinks in here.
1482
01:19:04,739 --> 01:19:07,072
Nipple shot, Nipple shot,
Pecker shot.
1483
01:19:07,074 --> 01:19:09,007
Just calm down.
Priorities, priorities.
1484
01:19:09,009 --> 01:19:10,742
What is wrong with you?
Priorities.
1485
01:19:10,744 --> 01:19:13,244
Daddy's gotta
Take a piss.
1486
01:19:13,246 --> 01:19:16,981
Daddy feels like
A camel today.
1487
01:19:16,983 --> 01:19:19,949
I need some more
Help with this.
1488
01:19:19,951 --> 01:19:22,552
Unload. Unload.
1489
01:19:24,921 --> 01:19:27,156
Daddy went in
His shorts again.
1490
01:19:28,625 --> 01:19:30,959
You need water?
Are you okay?
1491
01:19:44,406 --> 01:19:46,839
Thanks.
You're welcome, randy.
1492
01:19:53,479 --> 01:19:55,714
I told you. See?
1493
01:19:55,716 --> 01:19:58,882
I'm pretending like I didn't see that.
It scares me.
1494
01:20:00,051 --> 01:20:02,386
Don't be a wussy.
Come on.
1495
01:20:02,388 --> 01:20:05,423
Jog. Come on, randy.
1496
01:20:05,425 --> 01:20:08,291
Five more miles.
Keep it goin'.
1497
01:20:08,293 --> 01:20:09,492
Randy? Whoa, whoa,
Whoa. Randy?
1498
01:20:12,963 --> 01:20:15,096
Randy?
1499
01:20:16,766 --> 01:20:19,335
Randy! Ra...
1500
01:20:22,438 --> 01:20:26,573
"the boy found the tricycle
And was overwhelmed with joy,
1501
01:20:26,575 --> 01:20:30,143
"a joy he hadn't felt
Since he was in middle school
1502
01:20:30,145 --> 01:20:33,546
"when he got a single During
kickball to almost Tie the game up,
1503
01:20:33,548 --> 01:20:37,550
"even though he got Thrown
out at second And they lost.
1504
01:20:37,552 --> 01:20:39,352
The end."
1505
01:20:39,354 --> 01:20:42,920
This is a really Great script, Huh, ernie?
1506
01:20:42,922 --> 01:20:45,423
Hey, let's
Read it again.
1507
01:20:45,425 --> 01:20:50,627
That's a good idea.
Would you like that, Randy? Yeah?
1508
01:20:50,629 --> 01:20:54,564
"Once upon a time, there were
Two dead, naked bodies."
1509
01:20:56,032 --> 01:20:57,867
Come on,
Snap out of it.
1510
01:20:57,869 --> 01:20:59,669
I can't breathe.
Oh, you can breathe.
1511
01:20:59,671 --> 01:21:01,202
Have some more.
1512
01:21:01,204 --> 01:21:03,472
You ready
To quit faking?
1513
01:21:03,474 --> 01:21:06,274
Oh. Oh, great.
Now he's playing dead.
1514
01:21:06,276 --> 01:21:09,209
Playing dead, randy?
Is that what You're gonna do?
1515
01:21:09,211 --> 01:21:11,579
Okay, he's just
Gonna play dead.
1516
01:21:11,581 --> 01:21:13,914
All right, randy.
We're gonna leave.
1517
01:21:13,916 --> 01:21:16,182
We're leaving, randy.
Bye-bye.
1518
01:21:24,924 --> 01:21:28,526
Where do you think You're goin'?
I'm comin' with you.
1519
01:21:28,528 --> 01:21:31,061
Go home, boy,
Or you'll feel The back of my hand.
1520
01:21:31,063 --> 01:21:33,097
But i finished my work.
1521
01:21:33,099 --> 01:21:35,099
Go home or i'll give you
A kick in the ass.
1522
01:21:35,101 --> 01:21:38,101
I need you to stay here And look after
the place For me while i'm away.
1523
01:21:38,103 --> 01:21:41,104
But, dad, i can fight.
1524
01:21:46,009 --> 01:21:48,544
No, you can't.
Yes, i can.
1525
01:21:48,546 --> 01:21:51,279
It's our wits
That make us men,
1526
01:21:51,281 --> 01:21:54,282
And you do not Have any wits.
You've none at all.
1527
01:21:54,284 --> 01:21:56,550
In fact, you're
Downright stupid.
1528
01:21:56,552 --> 01:21:59,820
What are you doin' With that stupid Paint on your face?
1529
01:21:59,822 --> 01:22:02,322
So i can be A warrior like...
Give me that
1530
01:22:02,324 --> 01:22:04,189
Before you cut
Your bollocks off.
1531
01:22:04,191 --> 01:22:07,192
In fact, if you
Got into a fight,
1532
01:22:07,194 --> 01:22:11,963
You'd probably
Run away and piss yourself.
1533
01:22:11,965 --> 01:22:16,468
Jesus christ.
You cannot Even stay awake for Five minutes.
1534
01:22:25,609 --> 01:22:28,210
I'm alive!
1535
01:22:28,212 --> 01:22:30,612
It was a joke.
You're an asshole.
1536
01:22:35,518 --> 01:22:40,922
The last thing i remember Is coming into
my apartment Right after i was fired,
1537
01:22:40,924 --> 01:22:44,290
And then, i sat here...
1538
01:22:44,292 --> 01:22:47,193
Did that just happen?
I've been a real jerk to you.
1539
01:22:47,195 --> 01:22:49,463
No, you haven't.
Yes, i have.
1540
01:22:49,465 --> 01:22:51,630
No, we're friends.
No, we're not.
1541
01:22:51,632 --> 01:22:53,933
No, we're not friends.
We're best friends.
1542
01:22:53,935 --> 01:22:56,836
All the accidents At work...
I'm real accident-prone.
1543
01:22:56,838 --> 01:22:59,804
Your tricycle script. I know.
I thought That was weird.
1544
01:22:59,806 --> 01:23:03,675
Did i tell you that i had The same idea for a script?
I even wrote it.
1545
01:23:03,677 --> 01:23:05,509
I know. It was yours.
1546
01:23:05,511 --> 01:23:07,511
That's why we're Best friends.
We think alike.
1547
01:23:07,513 --> 01:23:09,913
And act alike.
We should get t-shirts.
1548
01:23:09,915 --> 01:23:11,948
Oh, my god.
You are so stupid.
1549
01:23:11,950 --> 01:23:13,616
Okay, now you're
Being mean.
1550
01:23:13,618 --> 01:23:15,818
And best friends don't
Treat each other that way.
1551
01:23:15,820 --> 01:23:19,488
Randy, i stole
Your script.
1552
01:23:19,490 --> 01:23:21,289
I took it from you When you were sleeping Right there.
1553
01:23:21,291 --> 01:23:25,960
I broke your desk, I set off your fire alarm,
You are not accident-prone.
1554
01:23:25,962 --> 01:23:28,629
Okay, just leave it there.
1555
01:23:28,631 --> 01:23:32,431
So i did everything Else to you...
Just Leave it, okay?
1556
01:23:32,433 --> 01:23:34,166
I did everything
Else to you.
1557
01:23:34,168 --> 01:23:35,835
I've been a real jerk.
1558
01:23:35,837 --> 01:23:38,571
I've been making your life
A living hell, and i'm sorry.
1559
01:23:38,573 --> 01:23:42,207
I can see what Your hand is doing.
I can see it.
1560
01:23:45,244 --> 01:23:48,078
I'm trying to be nice to you Here, randy,
and you're Being a jerk about it.
1561
01:23:48,080 --> 01:23:52,116
I came here to give you Your job back
and ask you To direct the tricycle script,
1562
01:23:52,118 --> 01:23:54,618
You dick!
1563
01:23:57,522 --> 01:24:01,089
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't Have called you that.
1564
01:24:02,158 --> 01:24:04,359
It's okay.
1565
01:24:05,261 --> 01:24:06,562
It's okay, buddy.
1566
01:24:06,564 --> 01:24:10,064
Thanks?
It's all right.
1567
01:24:10,933 --> 01:24:13,767
Randy. Randy?
Yeah?
1568
01:24:13,769 --> 01:24:17,771
You're in your underwear.
I know. It's okay.
1569
01:24:27,313 --> 01:24:30,015
Can i sit here?
Sure.
1570
01:24:30,017 --> 01:24:32,250
Wendy, before
You say anything,
1571
01:24:32,252 --> 01:24:35,553
I just have to apologize For leaving
you at The studio a few days ago.
1572
01:24:35,555 --> 01:24:38,088
It's okay.
I wanted to call.
1573
01:24:38,090 --> 01:24:42,124
I just,
uh... I've just Been dealing with it In my own way.
1574
01:24:42,126 --> 01:24:45,695
I've... I've been
Out of town.
1575
01:24:45,697 --> 01:24:47,964
Huh?
Yeah.
1576
01:24:47,966 --> 01:24:50,966
I've been at the hamptons.
It's where i go To gather my thoughts.
1577
01:24:50,968 --> 01:24:53,635
Randy, i've been With you the last Two days.
1578
01:24:53,637 --> 01:24:55,770
I don't know what
You're talking about,
1579
01:24:55,772 --> 01:24:58,573
But i was definitely at
The hampton inn.
1580
01:24:58,575 --> 01:25:02,442
Wendy, i like you,
And, uh...
1581
01:25:02,444 --> 01:25:04,911
I've always
Liked you, wendy.
1582
01:25:04,913 --> 01:25:09,014
I know i was a little fast In giving you
the ring And asking you to marry me,
1583
01:25:09,016 --> 01:25:11,316
And i know you Don't want to,
And it's okay.
1584
01:25:11,318 --> 01:25:12,851
I just hope that we
Can still be friends.
1585
01:25:12,853 --> 01:25:14,853
No, i do.
Me, too.
1586
01:25:14,855 --> 01:25:17,154
I love your Friendship and... No.
1587
01:25:17,156 --> 01:25:19,791
I would not-- Listen to me,
'cause i mean it.
1588
01:25:19,793 --> 01:25:25,128
I wouldn't do anything ever
To sacrifice our friendship.
1589
01:25:25,130 --> 01:25:27,564
I wanna marry you.
Except for that.
1590
01:25:27,566 --> 01:25:30,165
Our friendship's gone.
You're gonna be my wife.
1591
01:25:30,167 --> 01:25:32,301
Are you saying...
You really wanna...
1592
01:25:32,303 --> 01:25:34,971
I can't breathe
Right now.
1593
01:25:34,973 --> 01:25:37,271
I might have thrown The ring into The l.A. River.
1594
01:25:37,273 --> 01:25:39,407
No, you didn't.
No, i did.
1595
01:25:39,409 --> 01:25:41,810
I threw it hard. I threw it really far.
I'm a baseball player.
1596
01:25:41,812 --> 01:25:44,144
No, you didn't. No, i did.
I know what i did.
1597
01:25:44,146 --> 01:25:47,180
I threw it.
Are you calling me A liar again?
1598
01:25:47,182 --> 01:25:51,484
Randy, i've, uh,
Had it the whole time.
1599
01:25:51,486 --> 01:25:54,921
Wait a second.
This is my grandma's Cubic zirconium...
1600
01:25:54,923 --> 01:25:57,589
I mean, diamond.
1601
01:25:57,591 --> 01:26:00,692
So i thought It was just The box that i threw.
1602
01:26:00,694 --> 01:26:02,661
I guess it...
1603
01:26:02,663 --> 01:26:05,663
So we're doin' this?
I mean, we're...
1604
01:26:05,665 --> 01:26:07,464
We're really
Getting married.
1605
01:26:07,466 --> 01:26:09,867
I guess so.
Okay.
1606
01:26:09,869 --> 01:26:12,335
Well, first things first.
1607
01:26:13,771 --> 01:26:18,107
Oh! This feels good.
It feels like, It feels right.
1608
01:26:18,109 --> 01:26:19,908
That's the wrong finger.
1609
01:26:19,910 --> 01:26:22,077
Of course it is.
Let me try that again.
1610
01:26:22,079 --> 01:26:24,179
All right.
1611
01:26:24,181 --> 01:26:27,081
It feels right, Doesn't it?
It feels perfect.
1612
01:26:27,083 --> 01:26:29,483
Still the wrong finger.
Okay, we'll try That again.
1613
01:26:29,485 --> 01:26:31,818
It would be This finger.
I know that.
1614
01:26:31,820 --> 01:26:33,620
So i guess this means
We should kiss.
1615
01:26:33,622 --> 01:26:36,289
Okay. Yeah. I mean,
It's standard.
1616
01:26:36,291 --> 01:26:38,457
Standard married...
1617
01:26:38,459 --> 01:26:40,526
Um, just to warn you...
1618
01:26:40,528 --> 01:26:42,594
Just to warn you...
1619
01:26:42,596 --> 01:26:45,697
I have never
Kissed a woman.
1620
01:26:45,699 --> 01:26:48,432
And i've been really
Excited about this,
1621
01:26:48,434 --> 01:26:51,536
So i'm just gonna go And i'm
feeling Really romantic right now.
1622
01:26:51,538 --> 01:26:54,171
I'm just gonna Do this, okay? Okay.
1623
01:27:00,644 --> 01:27:02,879
I'm kissing your nose,
Aren't i?
1624
01:27:02,881 --> 01:27:04,814
Uh-huh.
1625
01:27:04,816 --> 01:27:07,315
I'm sorry. I've just
Never done this before.
1626
01:27:07,317 --> 01:27:10,719
It's okay.
I should probably stop Grabbing your face.
1627
01:27:10,721 --> 01:27:12,788
Okay.
Okay?
1628
01:27:15,423 --> 01:27:17,591
Just pretend like
That never happened.
1629
01:27:20,027 --> 01:27:22,428
I'm sorry.
1630
01:27:22,430 --> 01:27:27,800
So... It's
Me and you now.
1631
01:27:27,802 --> 01:27:30,302
Yeah.
1632
01:27:30,304 --> 01:27:32,805
It's just me and you.
1633
01:27:36,041 --> 01:27:38,542
What?
Hmm?
1634
01:27:39,778 --> 01:27:42,312
So apparently,
1635
01:27:42,314 --> 01:27:45,582
I ordered something from
Yugoslavia last night.
1636
01:27:49,252 --> 01:27:52,354
Yeah. It's a bride.
1637
01:27:53,456 --> 01:27:56,257
She'll be here tomorrow.
1638
01:28:08,335 --> 01:28:10,436
You're not at
Quizno's now, okay?
1639
01:28:10,438 --> 01:28:12,471
I need you
To give me pacino.
1640
01:28:12,473 --> 01:28:14,506
Right now, you're
Giving me boo radley.
1641
01:28:14,508 --> 01:28:17,375
Access your inner child.
He's drunk today!
1642
01:28:27,152 --> 01:28:30,286
Ready? Yeah, i'm ready.
I been ready all day.
1643
01:28:30,288 --> 01:28:33,022
I'm sorry. Okay, slower, slower.
You're goin' too fast.
1644
01:28:33,024 --> 01:28:37,192
Go faster. Ernie, get outta the way.
Get outta the way. Ow!
1645
01:28:37,194 --> 01:28:39,728
Oh, hit me in
The head. Thanks.
1646
01:28:41,697 --> 01:28:43,898
And... Cut! Come on, kid,
It's your big moment.
1647
01:28:43,900 --> 01:28:46,300
Cut! Cut!
1648
01:28:46,302 --> 01:28:49,137
Forget it. Action.
1649
01:28:49,139 --> 01:28:51,304
Chicken.
1650
01:28:51,306 --> 01:28:53,506
That was it.
1651
01:28:53,508 --> 01:28:56,776
It just came to me
One night.
1652
01:28:56,778 --> 01:29:00,479
Flavor number 32,
Chicken ice cream.
1653
01:29:00,481 --> 01:29:03,581
Everybody loves chicken.
Everybody eats chicken.
1654
01:29:03,583 --> 01:29:07,252
You put the rainbow
Sprinkles on it for the kids,
1655
01:29:07,254 --> 01:29:08,920
Call it chicken salad.
1656
01:29:08,922 --> 01:29:11,989
I know it sounds...
That sounds silly.
1657
01:29:11,991 --> 01:29:14,691
So anyway, the studio...
1658
01:29:14,693 --> 01:29:18,560
Uh, pretty much went under,
1659
01:29:18,562 --> 01:29:21,397
And i lost pretty much
Everything i had,
1660
01:29:21,399 --> 01:29:23,765
But it was
A blessing in disguise,
1661
01:29:23,767 --> 01:29:26,301
Because i think
It gave me the time
1662
01:29:26,303 --> 01:29:30,871
To really pursue
My calling,
1663
01:29:30,873 --> 01:29:34,408
My life calling
Which is, of course,
1664
01:29:34,410 --> 01:29:38,511
Opening up
My ice cream shop again,
1665
01:29:38,513 --> 01:29:43,516
And i called it
32 flavors.
1666
01:29:43,518 --> 01:29:46,151
Beat that,
Mr. Robbins.
1667
01:29:46,153 --> 01:29:48,687
Actually, i think
They have 50 flavors now.
1668
01:29:48,689 --> 01:29:51,555
Oh, 50 flavors.
What are you talking about?
1669
01:29:51,557 --> 01:29:53,691
No, they do.
They have, Like, 50 flavors.
1670
01:29:53,693 --> 01:29:56,727
Don't say that.
Don't say it again.
1671
01:29:56,729 --> 01:29:59,562
You know, we really
Only need one camera here.
1672
01:29:59,564 --> 01:30:01,865
If you'd put your camera
Down, please, and leave.
1673
01:30:01,867 --> 01:30:03,967
I'm trying to speak
To the...
1674
01:30:03,969 --> 01:30:06,335
Just put it down.
I'm sorry.
1675
01:30:06,337 --> 01:30:09,338
I'm starting to sweat.
1676
01:30:14,776 --> 01:30:18,379
Fifty flavors.
Who told her that? Shit.
1677
01:30:19,914 --> 01:30:22,582
So we wrapped on The tricycle picture,
It went great.
1678
01:30:22,584 --> 01:30:26,052
No one actually watched it,
Which was good because
1679
01:30:26,054 --> 01:30:30,122
I'm actually trying
To let that part of me go.
1680
01:30:30,124 --> 01:30:34,625
The film was not About my cousin.
It was about me.
1681
01:30:34,627 --> 01:30:38,596
I'm so proud Of you, honey.
Thanks, babe.
1682
01:30:38,598 --> 01:30:40,731
But i am working on
A brand-new script.
1683
01:30:40,733 --> 01:30:43,167
It's wonderful.
It's about a small boy Who's afraid of fire,
1684
01:30:43,169 --> 01:30:47,603
Because his dad would Actually
put out cigars On his neck.
1685
01:30:47,605 --> 01:30:49,739
That one's about
My cousin.
1686
01:30:49,741 --> 01:30:52,108
That one's about
My cousin, so...
1687
01:30:52,110 --> 01:30:54,009
So, we're married now.
1688
01:30:54,011 --> 01:30:57,812
Yeah, it's goin' great.
What else is new?
1689
01:30:57,814 --> 01:31:00,948
Oh, yeah, we had
Coitus last night.
1690
01:31:00,950 --> 01:31:02,850
Yes, we did.
1691
01:31:02,852 --> 01:31:07,187
But, baby,
can you Never call it coitus Ever again?
1692
01:31:07,189 --> 01:31:08,989
Oh, yeah.
Sorry, babe.
1693
01:31:08,991 --> 01:31:12,692
Hey, i'm gonna go Get that coffee for you.
She's a coffee nut.
1694
01:31:14,027 --> 01:31:17,997
So... I think marriage life
Is really good for us.
1695
01:31:17,999 --> 01:31:19,664
Especially randy.
1696
01:31:19,666 --> 01:31:23,968
He's changed so much,
You probably wouldn't Even recognize him.
1697
01:31:23,970 --> 01:31:26,604
He's really learning
How to deal with his past.
1698
01:31:26,606 --> 01:31:29,472
He's really maturing.
1699
01:31:29,474 --> 01:31:32,309
He's just growing up.
1700
01:31:32,311 --> 01:31:34,577
Randy?
1701
01:31:34,579 --> 01:31:36,745
Are you getting sleepy?
1702
01:31:42,786 --> 01:31:46,254
You shut up, You shut up.
Pecker, pecker!
1703
01:31:46,256 --> 01:31:49,856
Pecker. Yah, yah.
Pecker, pecker.
1704
01:31:49,858 --> 01:31:53,894
Now i'm tired,
And daddy's gonna Take a piss.
1705
01:31:55,296 --> 01:31:58,197
So wes and i decided
To start a production company.
1706
01:31:58,199 --> 01:32:01,301
It's going great.
I'm finally living Out my dreams,
1707
01:32:01,303 --> 01:32:03,001
Which is amazing.
1708
01:32:03,003 --> 01:32:05,037
With wes and ben's,
You're getting An amazing deal.
1709
01:32:05,039 --> 01:32:08,307
We can take your script And make it into A blockbuster.
1710
01:32:08,309 --> 01:32:10,774
I'm talking big.
Let me talk about quality.
1711
01:32:10,776 --> 01:32:13,577
Capital "q."
1712
01:32:19,550 --> 01:32:22,052
Why are you crying?
1713
01:32:27,690 --> 01:32:30,058
Yes. I'm gonna enjoy this.
1714
01:32:30,060 --> 01:32:33,094
So i'm still learning
American law.
1715
01:32:33,096 --> 01:32:36,331
Apparently you need
Some kind of a permit
1716
01:32:36,333 --> 01:32:38,498
So that you can
Carry a gun.
1717
01:32:38,500 --> 01:32:41,134
And they don't like it When you shoot someone,
I can tell you that.
1718
01:32:41,136 --> 01:32:45,771
I went abroad,
And i'm rooming with lester.
1719
01:32:45,773 --> 01:32:48,174
In a cell with lester.
1720
01:32:48,176 --> 01:32:51,542
But you know,
We got a theater group goin'.
1721
01:32:51,544 --> 01:32:54,512
Everybody's involved.
It's mamma mia!
1722
01:32:54,514 --> 01:32:58,182
Yeah, but we've had to
Push it back.
1723
01:32:58,184 --> 01:33:02,086
Our lead guy Got stabbed in
the showers By the understudy.
1724
01:33:02,088 --> 01:33:06,322
Apparently picked up
The wrong piece of soap.
1725
01:33:08,293 --> 01:33:11,126
The show will go on.
1726
01:33:18,566 --> 01:33:20,634
I know. It's okay.
You want whipped cream.
1727
01:33:20,636 --> 01:33:24,038
I hope you just didn't Miss your
chance To read your poem.
1728
01:33:31,844 --> 01:33:35,114
This is unbelievable.
Everyone else sees This, right?
1729
01:33:35,116 --> 01:33:36,982
You are a nightmare.
1730
01:33:36,984 --> 01:33:38,983
An absolute nightmare
To work with.
1731
01:33:38,985 --> 01:33:41,685
Yeah, cheryl.
Why don't you Say something?
1732
01:33:41,687 --> 01:33:43,521
Come on, cheryl.
Say something.
1733
01:33:43,523 --> 01:33:45,522
I'm on my period, I'm grouchy,
I don't wanna talk.
1734
01:33:45,524 --> 01:33:47,557
So i know randy's an idiot,
1735
01:33:47,559 --> 01:33:50,760
But he did help me
To find my gift.
1736
01:33:50,762 --> 01:33:52,861
My gift of makeup.
1737
01:33:52,863 --> 01:33:54,863
I started my own
Makeup line.
1738
01:33:54,865 --> 01:33:57,366
I actually named it
After randy.
1739
01:33:57,368 --> 01:34:00,535
It's called... Ignorance.
1740
01:34:01,870 --> 01:34:06,141
Randy doesn't get it,
But, oh well.
1741
01:34:09,977 --> 01:34:12,879
Booger!
1742
01:34:15,015 --> 01:34:17,150
He was trying
To make me laugh.
1743
01:34:17,152 --> 01:34:19,585
Apparently, there was
Some mix-up thing
1744
01:34:19,587 --> 01:34:21,486
With randy
And the internet.
1745
01:34:21,488 --> 01:34:26,291
I solved that problem
For him, and i'm married.
1746
01:34:26,293 --> 01:34:28,859
Reached my ultimate goal.
1747
01:34:28,861 --> 01:34:31,895
So... Where is she from?
1748
01:34:31,897 --> 01:34:35,432
Uh...
1749
01:34:35,434 --> 01:34:38,801
The republic
Of yugoslavia.
1750
01:34:38,803 --> 01:34:41,036
Not from around here.
1751
01:34:41,038 --> 01:34:43,539
It's funny
How these things work out.
1752
01:34:43,541 --> 01:34:45,740
Because i actually
Was thinking about
1753
01:34:45,742 --> 01:34:47,841
Buying a wife
On the internet.
1754
01:34:47,843 --> 01:34:50,644
But my credit card--
I was way, way over the limit,
1755
01:34:50,646 --> 01:34:53,214
So when randy came
To me with this,
1756
01:34:53,216 --> 01:34:55,082
I jumped on it, so...
1757
01:34:55,084 --> 01:34:58,251
Originally, i was
Gonna go asian,
1758
01:34:58,253 --> 01:35:03,122
But i think this actually
Worked out better for me.
1759
01:35:03,124 --> 01:35:06,892
So, um... And we're
Really, really happy.
1760
01:35:06,894 --> 01:35:11,329
We are...
You're happy, right?
1761
01:35:19,837 --> 01:35:23,005
I've never been fired
So many times in a day.
1762
01:35:23,007 --> 01:35:24,940
Cut.
1763
01:35:26,310 --> 01:35:28,211
I'm pumped.
I'm friggin' pumped.
1764
01:35:28,213 --> 01:35:30,678
Listen to this.
I got a job as a disc jockey.
1765
01:35:30,680 --> 01:35:32,314
I'm bart the deejay.
1766
01:35:32,316 --> 01:35:35,750
That's tight, right?
I'm working for z94.3 fm.
1767
01:35:35,752 --> 01:35:37,718
They gave me
This cool time slot.
1768
01:35:37,720 --> 01:35:40,354
I'm working mondays,
2:00 to 5:00 a.M.
1769
01:35:40,356 --> 01:35:42,623
I'm doin' this thing
On the air now.
1770
01:35:42,625 --> 01:35:46,259
I'm, like, what up? Boom.
I'm goin' bart-listic on you.
1771
01:35:46,261 --> 01:35:50,095
Everyone in the studio's,
Like, that's tight.
1772
01:35:50,097 --> 01:35:52,097
I'm pretty much coverin'
All the big stuff.
1773
01:35:52,099 --> 01:35:55,267
I'm doin' intersections,
Cars, water main breaks.
1774
01:35:55,269 --> 01:35:57,901
I'm doing traffic.
Mostly traffic.
1775
01:35:57,903 --> 01:36:00,204
But let's be honest.
1776
01:36:00,206 --> 01:36:02,806
Being on the radio Doesn't hurt
in The ass department, right?
1777
01:36:02,808 --> 01:36:05,642
Boom! We're gettin'
Bart-listic on you.
1778
01:36:07,978 --> 01:36:12,314
Musical.
1779
01:36:12,316 --> 01:36:14,250
Marker.
1780
01:36:19,188 --> 01:36:21,922
Wes' ideas
Are very good,
1781
01:36:21,924 --> 01:36:24,724
And i should
Listen to him more.
1782
01:36:24,726 --> 01:36:26,726
Is that too many metaphors?
1783
01:36:26,728 --> 01:36:30,197
Maybe it is.
1784
01:36:32,766 --> 01:36:35,268
Why aren't you laughin'?
1785
01:36:35,270 --> 01:36:37,403
Why couldn't i have
Thought of that first?
1786
01:36:37,405 --> 01:36:41,139
Hit the deck!
1787
01:36:42,875 --> 01:36:45,942
He started to struggle,
And i started to Beat him in the head,
1788
01:36:45,944 --> 01:36:48,379
Again and again and again.
1789
01:36:52,149 --> 01:36:54,484
But they ordered us
To do it.
1790
01:36:54,486 --> 01:36:57,119
Bobby? What's his name?
1791
01:36:57,121 --> 01:37:00,088
It's randy.
Randy?
1792
01:37:00,090 --> 01:37:01,690
Randy?
1793
01:37:01,692 --> 01:37:06,294
'Cause i'm uncomfortable Being
nude in front of Other people.
1794
01:37:06,296 --> 01:37:09,597
Never let go.
Promise you'll Never let go.
1795
01:37:09,599 --> 01:37:11,765
I got hot cocoa.
1796
01:37:11,767 --> 01:37:15,768
I'm starting to lose
My power of sight.
1797
01:37:16,904 --> 01:37:19,038
Oh, you got me.
1798
01:37:21,774 --> 01:37:23,375
Push it. Push
The fucking button!
1799
01:37:25,913 --> 01:37:28,112
Let me talk to him.
1800
01:37:28,114 --> 01:37:30,981
Dad, it's me. Listen,
What you're doing
1801
01:37:30,983 --> 01:37:32,417
Is a very brave thing.
1802
01:37:32,419 --> 01:37:34,251
So...
1803
01:37:34,253 --> 01:37:36,553
So stupid.
What a stupid opening.
1804
01:37:36,555 --> 01:37:39,356
Stupid, stupid.
1805
01:37:39,358 --> 01:37:41,557
...Over at
Craft services.
1806
01:37:43,094 --> 01:37:44,793
You screwed up
Big time, randy.
1807
01:37:44,795 --> 01:37:47,895
Can i help you?
1808
01:37:47,897 --> 01:37:50,064
Too late.
1809
01:37:50,066 --> 01:37:52,434
I think you're lost.
1810
01:37:52,436 --> 01:37:54,935
Did you call cut
Already?
1811
01:37:54,937 --> 01:37:57,971
Can i go home And get my contacts?
No!
1812
01:37:57,973 --> 01:38:01,608
Look right over there
At the card and read it.
1813
01:38:01,610 --> 01:38:04,344
Yeah, we speak english.
1814
01:38:04,346 --> 01:38:06,846
We just find it easier
To never do it.
1815
01:38:06,848 --> 01:38:08,947
We don't have
To work very hard.
1816
01:38:08,949 --> 01:38:11,650
We get out of jobs
That we don't wanna do.
1817
01:38:11,652 --> 01:38:15,253
And they can't fire us.
That's a big plus.
1818
01:38:15,255 --> 01:38:17,455
Yeah. Very.
1819
01:38:17,457 --> 01:38:19,690
Can you guys Move your car?
It's in my spot.
1820
01:38:19,692 --> 01:38:21,658
No ingles.
1821
01:38:25,929 --> 01:38:27,830
Great. I don't
Speak spanish.
1822
01:38:29,132 --> 01:38:32,334
So it's the big day.
Oh!
1823
01:38:34,704 --> 01:38:37,037
So it's the big day.
Oh!
1824
01:38:38,274 --> 01:38:42,041
I got it.
So today's the big day. Oh!
1825
01:38:42,043 --> 01:38:44,311
It's the start of...
1826
01:38:44,313 --> 01:38:47,046
Oh, i get it now.
You're no.
1827
01:38:47,915 --> 01:38:50,115
So it's the big day.
1828
01:38:51,918 --> 01:38:55,388
Action. I work best
Under pressure.
1829
01:38:57,856 --> 01:39:00,158
I forget you're no
When you said this.
1830
01:39:01,260 --> 01:39:03,627
So it's the big day.
Oh!
1831
01:39:05,898 --> 01:39:08,031
I didn't even mess up.
138952
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