All language subtitles for Louis.Theroux.Selling.Sex.2020.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG2_English

Louis: How many clients
have you seen this week?

Woman: Five or six.

You take the cash before
anything happens?

- Yes, I do. Yes.
- And count it?

- Yes. I always count it
in front of them.

- Yeah, I would find that
embarrassing if I was an escort.

But I'm not,
but Caroline's more mercenary.

- [sighs] I'm ready.

- Mmm. Mmm, OK.

- But I just wanted to say that
I belong to you.

I'm yours, but I want to give
myself to another man...

- Mmm.
- ..for an hour.

So I just wondered if you could
give me away to him?

- OK, darling. Yes, I give you
away to Dave for the hour.

- Yeah.
- Mmm.

- Mmm. Thank you.
- [they kiss]

[soft solemn music]

Louis: For several months,
I've been spending time with

women around Britain who legally
sell sex for a living.

- Bah! [laughs]

- Fuelled by websites
and social media,

a new economy has emerged,

bringing a world of
transactional sex

to people who might never
previously have considered it.

- [reads] A splendidly
satisfactory young lady.

- Wow! That one's almost,
I don't know, written in...

- Eloquent.

- ..sort of Victorian English.
- [laughs]

But the act still carries
a weight of stigma,

and many view it as damaging
and degrading.

- People say that I'm a bad mum
and stuff like that,

'cause I do what I do.

But, you know,
we're just providing a service,

that's what we're doing.

- Raising the question of
whether selling sex

can ever be a healthy way
to make money.

[reads] I'm very relaxed
and will give you a genuine,

not acted,
real girlfriend experience.

I promise you that we will have
a time you will never forget.

[soft music]

[computer keystrokes]

In Nottingham,
I had a breakfast appointment.

[knock on door]

- Hi! Louis.
- Hello!

- Are you Victoria?
- I am.

- Nice to meet you.
- And you.

- Can we come in?
- Yeah, come on in.

What do you want, you lot?

Who's having toast?

- At 33 years old, Victoria,
her working name,

is a single mum and sole
provider for her family.

- No.
- Kid: Yeah!

- For the last 4.5 years,

she's worked in
the sex industry.

- How many children do you have?
- Four.

- Socks would be a bonus
at some point, wouldn't they?

- Listen to Mummy. You need to
go and put your socks on.

- Kid: Yay!

- Victoria: Bye!
- Louis: Bye!

- I'll let you sit on
the comfy chair. [laughs]

This is me, yeah.

- Like an increasing number
of women who sell sex,

Victoria finds her clients
through social media

and a website called Adult Work.

- So, I'll show you my profile.

- Is that you?
- That's me, yeah.

- [reads] Classy Filth69.

I'm very honest, caring, upfront
and extremely classy lady,

who enjoys all the finer things
in life,

but when it comes to
the bedroom,

I'm the most naughtiest,
filthiest lady

you would ever meet.

- What do you think?

- It's the Yin and the Yang.
I like it.

- Yeah.

- And how many bookings would
you expect to get on a day

when you are on?

- I normally get about four.

- So, that...
- Four in one day?

- Yeah.
So you gotta understand

I still like to take
the children to school,

so, and then I'll try
and do my bookings,

the majority of them, while
the children are at school.

- It's important to you
to be around for the kids?

- Yeah. So, I always say, like,

my main job is to be a mother.

Then the second is,
obviously, work.

That's why this is a perfect job
for me, you know?

Flexible.

- Louis: Victoria never
takes bookings at home.

She does most of her
appointments

at hotels around Nottingham,

charging around 250 pounds
an hour.

How much do we know about
this guy? This client?

- I've seen him practically,
like, once a week he sees me.

He's a single guy.

He can just keep going and going
and going and going.

- Are you aware of there being

a degree of danger
involved in the work?

- There's a danger in anything,
isn't there?

And I think that this
is a lot less dangerous

than me on a night out,
being drunk and meeting somebody

and going back to a hotel
with somebody.

But I think you just
have to be on guard.

[soft music]

- Have you worked
in this one before?

- Yes.

- Do you need to get into...
- I need to get changed.

- I need to jump in the shower.

- You need to get into
game mode. Yeah.

[shower running]

[phone chimes]

- I'm coming.

Going and going, isn't it?

That's it, I'm dressed now.

- That's all the jobs coming.
- Is it?

- Yeah.
- It's popping off?

- Yeah, it's dinner time.

- Dinner time.
- Yeah, break time.

- Right.
People on their lunch break...

- Yeah.
- Popping out for a quickie.

- Yeah.

[knock on door]

- With the client arriving,
it was time for me to leave.

The exchange of sex for money
is legal in Britain

so long as it doesn't involve
coercion, exploitation

or any kind of public nuisance.

And with the advent
of social media

and specialist websites
it is on the rise.

Technology has made sexual
services more accessible

than ever before,
with every taste catered to.

Users can see photos,
check reviews

and offer feedback.

But the age old issue

of whether sex should ever be
traded remains.

[pensive music]

A growing number
of those involved

are said to be students
trying to make ends meet

while they pursue an education.

In South West London
I was meeting a 23-year-old

in her final year of art school.

- Hello!
- Come in.

- Are you Ashleigh?
- That's me.

- Louis. How do you do?
- Hi! Can we hug instead?

- Of course.
- [laughs]

- Louis: For several years,
Ashleigh had streamed

live sex shows from home
for money.

Six weeks earlier she'd taken
the step of opening an account

on an industry website.

- Welcome! [laughs]
- I like it. Top floor.

Ashleigh also has Asperger's.

She lives with her best friend,
Georgina.

It's really nice.
It's got so much character.

So I understand you've got
a booking tonight?

- Yeah, at eight o'clock.

- Did it come through
Adult Work?

- Yeah. So, I put myself
as available

at about three o'clock today,

and this guy messaged me,
being like, "Oh, I'm in Fulham.

"Can you come out for an hour?"

And he was, like, "I'm 25,
5 foot 10, same height as you.

"Clean." Like, I know.

Like, it's gonna...
Yeah, it should be fine.

- Have you got reviews
of the guy?

- That I'm going to see?
- Yeah.

- OK, let me have a look.
- Have you looked at them?

- No. Let me go and look.

Well, they were all positive
so, like, that was fine.

- Yeah. If you go on it
and they're all positive...

- So, he's got 498.
- ..there's not really a...

- [gasps]
- Louis: Reviews?

- Yeah. "Good guy. Big cock.
Knows how to use it." Ah!

[laughs]

"One hour full of orgasms
and pleasure. Kiss, kiss, kiss."

- "Expected someone coy. Was
instead surprised by a real man,

"someone who genuinely taught me
so much about my own body."

- Maybe I'm in for a wild ride
tonight.

- Wow!

- "Handsome and possessed great
skill."

- Who knows? Maybe I'll come out
a different woman?

- Sounds like you've got someone

who's been around the block
a few times.

- Oh, I'm ready for it.
Bring it on, bitch!

[laughter]

- Brm, brm! Can I get dressed?
- Yeah, please. Yeah.

- I'm getting nervous. Sorry.
Brm, brm! [chuckles]

- Gonna be really late.
- Well, let's just go then.

- [laughs]
- Let's go.

- I'll just be, like, "Ah, ah!"

- How are you feeling?

- I'm fine, to be honest. I'm,
like, excited. It's quite fun.

Like, it's like going out,
but without the commitment,

'cause it's only one hour
and I can leave.

- How many bookings
would you say you've had

in the six weeks
you've been doing it?

- Oh, gosh. 50?

Yeah, maybe? Yeah.

- That's quite a lot, isn't it?

- I know that a lot of people
say, like,

"Oh, you don't have to do this,"

like, you know,
"Saviour complex."

Like, I don't need to be saved.
I'm doing it on my own terms,

and I'm actually in power
in this situation.

And I feel empowered by it,
and if that's how I feel,

then that's all that matters
really, you know what I mean?

- Would you expect to have
an orgasm if you had sex?

- No. I think that I'm, like,
a bit closed off with

letting myself
have the enjoyment.

It's more about the scenario.

I will orgasm if I'm in a
scenario where I feel calm

and comfortable, as opposed to,
like, the actual pleasure.

- But you'd expect to be
aroused?

- Well, I just get aroused
by being touched.

- Do you?

- Yeah, like, if you were to put
your arm on my leg right now,

I'd probably be aroused.

Like, people always compliment
me, I guess, being, like,

"Oh, you're always so wet.
You must be so into it."

And I'm just, like, "Honey,
I'm always wet," like...

[laughs] I'm just aroused
a lot of the time.'

Yeah. [laughs]

- OK, then.
- [laughs]

Let me just have a cigarette.
[laughs]

[solemn music]

- With a moment to myself,
I reflected on the strangeness

of what was taking place.

Behind a closed door,
Ashleigh was providing

what is usually understood to be
the most intimate physical act

to a stranger for money.

I wondered whether she was safe

and how she really felt
about what was happening.

An hour later, she re-emerged.

- How was it?
- It was great!

- I don't know, he was, like,
I'm 23, he was, like, 25,

and he had, like, nice hair,
and he was kind of, like,

cool, I guess.

- And I was just, like...
- Really?

- "I would date you, I don't
know why you're paying me,

"'cause I would go on a date
with you."

And I said to him, I was like,
"Why do you use Adult Work?

"Like, why not just go on Tinder
or whatever?"

And he was like,
"On the weekend,

"it's popping off on Tinder.
During the week, not so much.

"Everyone's got a job, so gotta
get on the old Adult Work

"and it's less, like,
commitment, innit?"

- Well, I'm just conscious
that you are six weeks in.

- It's still really...
- Early days.

- ..early days.
- Exactly.

I've been so lucky
with the clients that I've got

and the way that, like,
it's gone for me.

- So, now you are feeling,
what's in your...

- I feel great.
I've got money in my bag.

I've been sexually satisfied.

[laughs] I'm gonna go home
and order a pizza.

Probably chain smoke
some Marlboro cigarettes,

menthol at the moment.

[solemn music]

[plane engine]

- Louis: The common criticism
of selling sex,

that the act is necessarily
intimate

and should not be traded,

is made even more real

when the person involved
is in a relationship.

I was curious to meet a woman
participating in

the sexual economy but who is
part of a committed couple.

- Hello!
- Hi!

- Can I come in?
- Come in.

- How are you?

In West Sussex,
I was with Caroline,

who describes herself
as an escort,

and her husband of 44 years,
Graham,

a chartered surveyor.

- On my wedding day was
one of the first times

I discovered that I loved being
the centre of attention.

- Mmm.

How old were you both?

- I was 19, and Graham was 23.

- And you were both virgins?
- Mm-hm.

- Yeah.

- Because you'd come from
quite a religious upbringing,

- both of you.
- Yes. Yeah.

It wasn't the done thing to have
sex before you got married.

Graham would have done,
if I'd let him.

- But must be quite difficult.

Neither of you
with any sexual experience

attempting to have sex
for the first time?

- Yeah. Yes, it was interesting.
- Graham: Did it work?

- No.
- Oh!

[laughter]

- Didn't go very well?
- Didn't go very well.

- It wasn't a revelatory
experience?

- No.
- Do you remember it?

- [laughs]
- Vaguely. Not very well. No.

- [laughs]

- It was just on the M1,
wasn't it? Trying to get North.

- [laughs]
- Newport Pagnell.

- Oh, yeah! [laughs]
- Is that a metaphor?

- Well, no, it was Newport...
- We went... [laughs]

We went to the Lake District
for our honeymoon,

so we stopped halfway
in a Travelodge overnight.

- It took a while for you to get
comfortable with your sexuality?

- Yeah. Definitely. Yeah.

I mean, it took quite a few
years, in fact.

Quite a few years.

[soft music]

- Put your head down over...

- Louis: Downstairs, Caroline
and Graham had arranged

a photo shoot
for Caroline's social media

to attract more clients.

What sort of work did you
do before this, Caroline?

- Dental nursing.

I'm still a qualified
dental nurse,

but I don't really do it
much anymore.

- Do you want to do an explicit
one with your bra off?

- OK.

- When you decided to do it,
was it for the money

or the adventure
or the pleasure of the sex?

- I never thought about being
an escort

until we met some friends
on holiday

when we were in
the South of France,

and she told us
that she was an escort.

Probably took me about a year
to come to the decision.

But when she first said it,
Graham said,

"Ooh, you ought to do that."

- I was joking, to be honest.

- He was joking
but one percent serious.

You know, I struggle with,

or have done over the years,
with my self-esteem.

So this helps me to see myself
in a better light,

when I can see that lots of men
want to come and see me

and they fancy me.

It makes me feel better
about myself.

And now Graham's my biggest
encourager.

- Right. Now turn round
to face the mirror.

Yeah. That's great.

[soft music]

- Louis: I was back in
Nottingham with Victoria.

I'd been curious to get to know
a little more about her.

I knew she'd had to rebuild her
life five years earlier

when she'd left the father of
her children.

Tell me if you need a hand
with anything.

She'd also told me she'd had
a difficult upbringing,

moving out of the family home
at 14.

I wondered how that had
affected her later on.

She was getting her kit bag
ready for an appointment.

- Oh, I'm so disorganised.

- What were you looking for?

- A stocking.
I only had one stocking.

- Oh.

- [laughs]

- This is gonna sound like
a really weird,

open-ended question, OK, but,

what do you think is
the right way of doing it?

- What's the right way
of doing sex?

- Mmm.
- Everybody's different.

Everybody's different,
aren't they?

So...

- For you, then.
- For me?

I see having a cuddle as sex.
[laughs]

I've had, like,
so many bad sexual experiences,

like, people just abusing me,
taking everything from me

from being 14, that I just think
there's nothing...

I can just easily do it.
There's nothing...

There's no good connection there
through sex.

So I've turned it around,

so I've got an ability to be
able to have sex with anybody

and it not mean anything,
so I can easily go do my job.

Do you know what I mean?

So I just look at it
in a positive way.

[laughs] Is that bad? [laughs]

- Does it feel bad?

- No. No.

I'm not doing anything wrong
or illegal,

or anything that
people don't want to do.

People want to do this.
People come to me, you know?

I just use it as an advantage.

Do you see what I mean? So...

- Were you abused
when you were...

Before you were 14,
were you abused?

- No. 14. I was just
a stray of a kid, really.

I was everywhere and everywhere,
so people took advantage.

Especially one guy in
particular, who was 25.

Obviously, he just see me
as vulnerable, but...

Yeah.

- Someone who took advantage
of you?

- Yeah. Yeah.

So... [laughs]

But when you're young
and when you're vulnerable

and when you've got nowhere
to go and nothing to do,

you don't go to school,
you don't have really a home...

and somebody shows an interest,

you don't realise
it's just sexual.

You'd think that they care about
you and stuff like that,

you know?

So, I used to do all these
crazy sexual things

to keep him happy.

Yeah, sex is just not the same
for me as most people.

I think that's the best way
to word it, I think.

- Is that all that's coming?
I can carry that.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

- Must be good for something.
- Oh, I'm hot now. [laughs]

- Is that it?
- That's it. All done.

[solemn music]

- The revelation of Victoria's
abuse seemed to put her decision

to sell sex
in a different light.

Now seemed a side effect
of her upbringing,

but whether that made it
the wrong lifestyle for her

was a different question.

We were on our way
to another hotel.

One of her regulars
had agreed to speak to me

with his identity protected.

[knock on door]

- Victoria: Hello!
- Louis: How are you doing?

- Man: Nervous.
- Louis: Yeah. I can imagine.

Victoria was saying that you've
been seeing each other

for a couple of months,
wasn't it?

- Couple of months, yeah.

- How did you first
find out about her?

- It was through
an online site actually.

- Mmm.

- Looked at Victoria's profile,
I went really, really deep

into the research of,
like, what she's like.

- As I understand it,

you were coming out of a
relationship, is that right?

- Yes, that's correct.
It had kinda gone dead.

In fact, there was no contact
anymore, no...

- No physical side to it?

- No physical side to it,
no emotional side to it.

I was kinda crying out for
basically some attention.

- Mmm.

Is the aim to get back to a kind
of girlfriend relationship?

- I don't know what
I want at the minute.

I think I'm trying
to find my way

of reconnecting with new
people again.

And this has been kind of a big
help for that.

It's actually been a big boost
of confidence for me.

- I think this is, like,
a bit of fresh air.

A breath of fresh air,
do you know what I mean?

And I think without that,
that could...

you could spiral down
into depression.

- I could. Yeah,
like you say, I could...

- Like, problem... I don't know.
That's my thinking.

- Oh, yeah. No, I know I could
have spiralled out really badly.

- Is it important for you
that Victoria enjoys

having sex with you?

- Oh, God, yeah.

I only want us to do things
that we both wanna do together.

I'm not interested in meeting
somebody who's just...

there to please me in that kinda
way and then leave it at that.

- But at the same time,
we have to acknowledge

that she would not be
having sex with you

were it not for the professional
arrangement, right?

- I would assume so.
- Yeah.

- It's not something
I've actually given

a lot of thought to.

I don't know where I sit
with that at the minute.

[solemn music]

- I was surprised
at the apparent vulnerability

of Victoria's client

and also by him
failing to consider

whether Victoria
might not enjoy the sex.

I wondered about the impact
on her

of having to impersonate a level
of intimacy she didn't feel.

[soft music]

[child laughs]

- Victoria: You can have your
TV on for a little bit.

- Louis: later that day,
back at home,

it was time for the evening
routine with the kids.

Who's in this one, then?

This is like being on
a submarine, this one.

- Kid: Yeah!
- Whoa!

- It's quite long, isn't it?
- Victoria: It's huge.

- Uh-oh! There's a ninja.

He's got a special way
of ninja walking.

[Victoria laughs]

- He's so quiet
when he's ninja walking.

[Victoria laughs]

- He's ninja-walked away.

Victoria had told me she planned
to tell her boys what she does

when they're older,

but she's made no secret of it
in the wider community

Show me around.
What have we got in here?

Among those in the know
is her daughter,

14-year-old Sapphire,
who she told a year ago.

We talked a little bit
downstairs, didn't we,

about escorting?

What's your view of it?

- I think, if she wants to do
it, then it's her choice.

Nobody should, like,
not accept that,

or nobody should say anything
bad about it

because it's her decision.

- Do you understand why some
people don't like it?

- Yeah, it's just a job that
people see as a negative job.

Like, if you're in a bank,
that's a good job.

If you're a cleaner,
that's seen as a bad job.

It's just one of the jobs
that people don't like,

and I think that because
she has children, as well,

people are like, "That's setting
a bad example for your kids."

But we don't mind.
Well, I don't mind, anyway.

She's come from, like,
not having a lot

to having everything that she
needs and a lot more, so.

Yeah, really proud of her.

- She seems like
she's a really good mum.

- She is.
She is a really good mum.

[soft music]

[child laughs]

- Victoria: Bring me
your Lego box.

- Louis: I left Victoria
struck by the contrast

between a happy and stable home

and the way that many would view
the work

that was underpinning it.

[solemn music]

It's hard to know how much
the cost of selling sex

stems from the sense of
judgement it brings with it.

But it's been suggested
that younger people

may take a less critical view.

I wondered what Ashleigh's
friends

thought about her lifestyle

and, so, I'd arranged to meet
some of them at a parent's house

where they were discussing
a joint art project.

- We wanted to show the extremes
of, like, the sex work stuff.

Louisa is our designer.

- I've been brought on...
- Costume.

- ..just to do costumes,
I'm not performing.

- Are you curious how Ashleigh's
found it so far, the sex work?

- Yeah, kind of.
I mean, I presume you're happy?

- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Yeah?

- There you go.

If I was upset, they'd both
be able to tell, for one.

And, like, they just won't pry.

Like, if I say, "I'm fine,"
they know that's just it,

I'm fine, they don't need to
ask questions.

So they're both very supportive.

And I've fucked her over
millions of times.

- So many times.

- I've been so horrible to her
in the past.

- I think a lot of people
in your life have, like,

come against a struggle
or something that's difficult

about your friendship and just
cut you off, and just been,

like, "Do you know what?
I don't need it."

- Are you saying that
a friendship with Ashleigh

comes with a certain amount
of drama?

- Ashleigh: Yeah.
- [laughter]

- Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah.
- That's putting it lightly.

- No, no, that's, like,
that's a teaspoon.

Oh, some person in one of my
other friendship groups

that I'm friends with

has decided to book me
for his birthday,

so I'm gonna have sex with,

like, one of my friends
for his birthday.

- It sounds potentially
quite confusing,

I would have thought, no?

- What's confusing? [laughs]

- [sighs] I don't know.

- He's just my friend
who's gonna come round

and have sex on his birthday.

I'm offering a service,
he wants the service,

and that's how it's going.
And nothing's gonna come of it.

- It's actually better doing it
this way,

because if there wasn't
an exchange happening,

like, financially, then that
would be more confusing, surely?

- Yeah.

- And then afterwards he'll
go back to being your friend?

- Yeah.
- I guess that can work.

- Yeah.
- I don't know.

- I mean, that's kind of what
our generation are like anyway.

- Yeah.
- Really?

- If you look in
many friendship groups,

most people have had sex
with each other.

Not every friendship group,
like, definitely.

- Yeah, it's what happens.

- But I think sex now,
even compared to,

like, 20 years ago,
is just so liberal.

Like, just, like...

And, like, quite meaningless
to a lot of people.

Dating apps have come
almost to fill the need

of how we have sex
with each other in these days.

- How long do you think
you're gonna do it for?

- I can't see myself in the
future having a real job.

A real job?
I mean, like, a 9-to-5

is what I mean
when I say "real job."

Like, standard as a 9-to-5.

Just because of, like, my head.

If I was making enough money
from just doing art stuff,

then, fab, but, like, I'm fine
working like everyone else,

to get my money
to pay for things.

I don't expect it
to be given to me.

- That's good, isn't it?
[laughs]

- Louis: It was reassuring
to see Ashleigh in the midst

of a caring peer group.

I was struck by their view
that sex was something that

could be freely traded between
acquaintances and strangers

without consequences,

though I also had the impression
of them wanting to make

a show of support for a friend

they viewed
as a little bit vulnerable.

For those who are close to
someone selling sex,

I could only imagine there
must be a balance between,

on the one hand,
respecting their choice,

and on the other, wanting to
save them from a lifestyle

many still view as damaging.

And for those in a committed
relationship, even more so.

In West Sussex, I was back with
Caroline and Graham.

- Is that alright for you,
Louis? [speaks French]

- Merci beaucoup.

- [speaks French]
[laughs]

- Mmm!
- I've no idea what that meant.

- What time is
the client coming?

- He's coming at ten.

- What can you tell me
about him?

- Nice guy, middle-aged.

- Mm-hm. Meaning, 60? 50?

- Fifties.
- Mm-hm. He's someone you...

- I've met him
quite a few times, yes.

- He's a regular?
- He's a regular. Yeah.

- So, this picture stays up,
does it?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- I mean, that could almost be
a bit off-putting, couldn't it?

You are maybe paying for the
girlfriend experience...

- Mmm.

- ..and then there's a picture
of a random guy...

with his hands on
your "girlfriend..."

- Yes.
- ..that you've paid for.

- Yeah, well,
that's a good point, yeah.

- But then there's
the other side.

You make no secret of the fact
that you're married.

- No, I don't make any secret
of the fact that I'm married.

- You mentioned, I think,
that you do...

or at least sometimes,

you do enjoy having sex with
your clients...

- Yes, I do.
- ..maybe, right?

- Because I think it's
an amazing job,

if you like to call it that,
that I can have,

to give so many men
so much pleasure.

And I know that I do that.

I make so many men happy,
and I love that.

- And it makes you happy,
by the way.

- And it makes me happy.
It makes me happy.

Basically, for most of my life,

I've not wanted to be in
the foreground at all.

I've been like a snail
sort of in its shell.

And I've always sort of
hidden behind Graham

and I feel like it's my time

to come out and be the person...
the real me.

And I feel like, you know,
this sort of sexual freedom

that I've moved into
is the real me.

[solemn music]

- So, when I'm around,
I'll often do this.

Well, I know the dress I like.

From what you've told me about
him, he'll like that.

- [sighs] I'm ready.

Well, you have a great time.
Enjoy yourself.

- Louis: With the client
en route, Graham and I left

for a local pub
to give them some space.

It would also be a chance to
talk to him about his marriage.

When she became a little bit
emotional back at the house,

what was behind that?

- She was brought up to believe
that women should be seen...

Well, probably not even seen.
Not seen and not heard.

And that was her upbringing,

and she just carried it on
into her adult life.

I knew, for example, sexually,
she was pretty...

suppressed, to put it mildly,
so that was an issue.

- Meaning what?

- Well, she just didn't
want to have sex.

- At all?
- No.

So if I'd been different,
I would have probably been a guy

who would go and see escorts.

So I kept on thinking, you know,
"How can I initiate her?

"How can I...
Maybe she might change."

I never dreamt that Caroline
would take it this far.

- Really?
- Oh, never.

No, I didn't have
the end game in mind

that the final part of this
for Caroline would be an escort.

- It sounds as though having
sorta nudged her along the way,

now she's taken off
like a rocket,

and you're now in the position,
slightly paradoxically,

of being less certain
about where you are.

- Yes.

If we've had a row, or
if things haven't gone right,

or if I feel that
I haven't been thought of

or considered
in some way or another,

then I can feel something
negative coming out of me.

I can feel maybe a bit jealous
or a bit irritated.

- About what?

- What she's doing sometimes.
- Having sex with another guy?

- Yeah. We'd have these
great big flare-ups,

but, of course, then so I would
threaten with, you know,

that it'd be the end of our
sexually free lifestyle,

end of everything.

And then, of course,
four hours later we'll be fine.

I want her to be absolutely
successful

as a woman in her own right,

'cause she's never been
in her own right.

I want her to be happy
and have pleasure.

I really do, you know,
in every way, not just sexually.

[solemn music]

- Graham: Ooh, hello, gorgeous!
- Mm-hm!

- How are you?
- Mmm, good. [laughs]

- How was it?
- Yeah, great, thank you, yeah.

Great time.
Would you like a glass of that?

- Well, sure,
I'll have a little one. Why not?

- Yeah. So, it was good, was it?
- Mmm.

- Good? Very good?
Spectacular? Awful?

Professional job?

- No, no, it wasn't
a professional job.

It was a good time.
It was...enjoyable.

- Mmm.

[solemn music]

- Louis: Several months
into filming,

and I was still conflicted about
the nature of the transaction

at the heart of
the sexual economy.

Whether it was a choice
freely made like any other

or a symptom of a society
in which vulnerable women

were traded and controlled.

[camera clicks]

- [sighs]
- That's better. I'm smiling.

- Louis: In Nottingham,
Victoria had invited me

to a porn shoot she'd organised,

creating online content
to sell to fans and clients.

- Victoria: OK?
- Man: Better.

- Louis: I can tell you're
doing a terrific job.

- Man: Thank you, Louis.

Now I'm gonna go for a medium,
then a close.

- Louis: She'd told me of
a plan to do more porn

and move away
from private bookings.

- Man: Did you get that?
- [laughter]

- You prefer the porn over
the escorting, don't you?

- Yeah. I don't have to be so
close and personal to people.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Give less of yourself?
- Yeah. Yeah, definitely.

- And I'm just wondering
whether, just in general,

as a sensual experience,

leaving the professionalism
to one side,

whether it's pleasurable?

- Um... Yeah, it can be.

- Just not today.

- It can... No. [sighs]
- [laughs]

- It's so hard for me
to answer this question,

because it's...

Oh, it's sex.
I do it all day every day.

[solemn music]

- Loitering on set, I reflected
on the paradox of leveraging

the after-effects of trauma
into financial opportunity.

And whether it represented
a kind of power,

or its opposite.

[solemn music]

The same new websites that have
induced some women

to enter the sexual marketplace

are also bringing that world
to clients who,

in the past, might never
have thought of doing it.

In Croydon, South London,
I was meeting Hugh.

Hello!

- Hi!
- How are you?

- Great, thank you.
- Louis. Nice to meet you.

At age 16,
Hugh had been diagnosed

with muscular dystrophy.

He lost his virginity at 30.

But after that, his sexual
experiences had dwindled away.

- Can I make you one?
- By all means, yes.

- You don't have kids,
is that right?

- No.
- Never been married?

- Never been married, no.
- Not interested?

- I know people say, "He'd never
met the right person,"

but, yeah, I just never met
someone who would have me.

[laughs] I mean, in the perfect
world, I've always wanted a...

It seems unfair,
but I've always wanted

an able-bodied girlfriend,

or not so disabled
that she couldn't, well,

get on top, essentially.
[laughs]

[solemn music]

- OK. Yeah.

- Louis: Hugh had an
appointment that evening.

A carer arrived
to get him ready.

One year earlier,
Hugh had set up an account

on the main sex industry
website.

- How's it going in there?

- Well, thank you. Yeah.

- You like to look your best
for your date?

- Yeah. [laughs]
Yes, my...my appointment.

- How many women have you seen
since you started?

- Nine. The eldest, 51,
youngest was about 21.

- Was there a moment
or something that prompted you

to take that step?

- I think it was the realisation
I was getting to a certain age,

and if I didn't do drastic
action I'd go to my grave...

[laughs]
..never having sex again.

- Mmm.

Can you characterise for me
how much it's meant to you?

- I mean, it's pleasurable.
It's expensive.

It doesn't ruin my life.

I'd rather have a girlfriend...

but it just hasn't worked out
for me for whatever reason,

be that my disability,
be that my winning personality,

I don't know. [laughs]

I think a lot of women...

understandably see me

and put me in the
"too complicated" category.

- Hugh was seeing someone
he'd booked twice before,

a woman selling sex
to supplement her income.

Would you say you've got to know
each other a little bit?

- I enjoy her company very much.

- But you have to be realistic,
don't you...

- Yeah. Exactly

- About what's actually
taking place?

- Exactly.
- Which is what?

- Which is what?

We're enjoying each other's
company in exchange for money.

I think I would be less happy

if I hadn't explored
this avenue.

That, probably, well,
I feel better for it, yes.

- Mmm.

- There's a little bit of guilt.
[laughs softly]

I suppose paying for it was an
admission of failure on my part.

[solemn music]

- I wasn't sure how to judge
Hugh's choice.

I was conscious of how much
I didn't know

about the young woman's story.

At the same time, his desire for
a life made a little more full

by the ability to buy sex

seemed completely
understandable.

[solemn music]

In my time among women
selling sex,

the only one for whom the work

was not mainly motivated
by money was Caroline.

Caroline had also been
the only one to say clearly

she enjoyed sex with clients.

Hello!

Gonna find my friends
downstairs.

- Nice to see you.
- Hi! Mmm! You, too.

- But even with all the time
we'd spent together,

there were aspects
of her relationship with Graham

I didn't really understand.

Hoping to find out more,
I was meeting them again.

- Something I wanted
to show you. [laughs]

- Go on.

- 'Hot Wives'.
- Yeah, you've got two there.

- And who have we got here?
She looks familiar.

- [laughs]
- That's you.

- Yeah.
They put me on the cover.

- That's nice, isn't it?

- [laughs] Yeah.
So I'm quite proud of that.

I thought that I could wear
one of these.

I like that idea.

Or there's this one, as well,
look,

and got a zip down the front.

- Louis: How's it going between
the two of you?

- Up and down.

- Are you in a good place?

- Yes and no. It depends what
time of the day you catch me.

- But, I mean, how much of any
of this is to do with

either insecurity
or mixed feelings

or jealousy
around Caroline's work?

- Do you know, generally,
I don't think it's that.

The best way I can say it,
for me, is that...

To be continued.

- Louis: Uh-oh!
- [Graham laughs]

- Police!

- Now, we always need to do
the feel test.

- It's an important part.
- Yeah.

- So...
- What do you think?

- Do you like the feel?
- Oh, I like that.

- It's nice and smooth.
- I'll have a walk around.

- You look...gorgeous!

- Yeah, I like it.
- Great. OK.

- We'll get this.

- I think I've probably spent
half my life

standing outside changing rooms.

- What were you gonna say,
before we were interrupted?

- I want more attention
from her.

I would just like to spend
more intimate

communication time
with Caroline.

And that's something
I didn't think through.

It started to develop inside me.

[solemn music]

- Louis: At a nearby
coffee shop,

the conversation moved on

to the subject of Caroline's
childhood.

- My upbringing was
quite Victorian,

but also mixed with religion,

as I was brought up to believe
that sex was dirty,

it was wrong.

I went into our marriage with,
I think, the same attitude.

- And you feel that having led
this life,

or certainly had this
upbringing,

where men were dictating
what you should do...

- Yeah.

- ..you feel that now,
this is very different?

- Yeah.

- You are calling the shots,
deciding what you want to do.

- Graham: Absolutely.
- Yes. Yeah.

It's been a process over the
last few years particularly,

that I've really been
discovering who I am

and what I want and need.

And the experience I've had
with other men

helps me have a better sex life
with Graham.

- You're quite happy with
your sex life with Caroline?

- She's everything I think,
I want and dream of.

Which is not something I would
have said a few years ago.

- Mmm.

- Forgive me for pushing
a certain idea,

and I just want to
get it out there,

but do you think there's a sense
in which, you know,

this was a sort of fantasy
that you had?

- I'm surprised
as anybody could be

as to where we've landed up
and where Caroline's landed up.

- Being an escort was entirely
my choice, and Graham never,

at any point, told me I needed
to be, or anything like that.

- I'm proud of her
and I think it's amazing,

and I constantly want to be sure

that she's doing
what she wants to do, though.

- Mmm.

- I worry far more about that
than maybe you know.

- Yeah.
- Do you really want to do this?

- Yeah. Well, some days I don't.

Some days I wake up and I think,

"Oh, I don't really feel like
doing that today."

- [Graham laughs]

- But then, at the same time,
I think,

"Well, you know,

"I want to be committed to
doing a good job...

"and I don't have anything
else to do,

"so, you know, I'll do it."

[both laugh]

But then, in the process
of that, I'll enjoy it,

so then I'll get into it.

[solemn music]

- Louis: It was incongruous,

but Caroline seemed to have
gained a sense of self

from embracing a role
as a sexual commodity.

Controlled in her childhood,
and now finding satisfaction

fulfilling the desires of men
on terms that were more her own.

Graham, for his part, seemed
happy to endure some insecurity

as the price of a more sexually
adventurous marriage.

[solemn music]

In a way, Caroline's age
and maturity were reassuring.

It was with those who were
younger

that I found myself tempted to
take a more protective attitude.

At a pub near her flat
in South West London,

I was meeting Ashleigh.

- Louis! Louis!
- Hello!

- Hello! How are you?
- Good. How are you?

- I'm OK. Sorry, I'm a bit
sweaty, 'cause I'm, like...

- You've changed your hair
again!

- I know! But I look great.
- Wow! Nice to see you.

- Nice to see you. How are you?
- Good.

- Good!
- Let's go inside.

- Did you have a haircut?
- Yes, I'm afraid so.

- Looks great.

- You know I asked you
to bring some photos?

- Yeah, I brought
my baby photos.

- Did you bring them?

Oh, so cute!

- I know! I'm so cute.
[laughs]

- Your parents were very young
when they had you.

- Yeah. So, I think my mum
got pregnant at 15.

- Really?

But, I mean, it wasn't like
your dad was much older, though?

- No, I think my dad was 16.

- So that's your dad?
- That's my dad. Uh-huh.

- He looks like a child himself.
Yeah.

- 1995, my dude.
- Was it '95?

- That's when I was born.
But they were children.

- But they didn't stay together
that long, is that right?

- Yeah. They stayed together
till I was about 3 or 4,

- I think?
- So, three or four years.

- Yeah. I don't ever remember
them being together.

He wasn't the kindest man
when I was growing up,

or the most supportive,

and I've tried so hard to form
a relationship with my dad,

like, so hard,
for so many years,

and I'm not doing it anymore.
I've given up,

'cause it's heartbreaking...
[laughs]

..to try,
do you know what I mean?

- It's almost a cliché of women
involved in sex work

that they have complicated
or strained relationships.

- With their father. I don't
know if it is completely.

I can only speak for myself.

I'm so desperate for people to,
like, not even like me, just,

like, acknowledge my existence,

and I think that I only see
my existence as a sum of my,

like...the pleasure that I can
give other people.

No-one wants to be around me
just for who I am.

People want to be around me
for what I can give to them,

and, like, for most men,
what I can give to them is sex.

Between the ages of 6 to 12,

I was sexually abused by someone
that was really close to me,

so I think that I'm just
very hypersexualised

because of that,

and I just value a lot of my,
like...

That was the time
that I felt wanted,

because they didn't care
about me otherwise.

[laughs]

Oh, it was really rough.

It was really, really,
really rough.

And then when he stopped,

I basically just assumed
that he hated me.

Does that make sense?
So then, when he stopped,

it just made everything worse,
basically.

Sorry.

But I'm over it, I think.

I say that as I cry.
I'm over it, it's fine.

Like, it happens. Shit happens.

You just have to try and turn
that into something

that you can make yourself
a better person with,

so I'm using that experience
to not let myself

be in situations where I'm gonna
feel vulnerable

and feel like my self-worth
is down to my sexual actions.

Does that make sense?

- Are you alright?
- Yeah, I'm honestly fine.

- OK.
- I'm just a big crier, sorry.

[laughs]

- What occurs to me is that
you've got a lot going on...

- Mmm.
- ..inside your head.

I've heard you say
more than once

that you don't appreciate
a sort of saviour mentality.

- No.

- And I think I respect you
too much...

- [laughs]

- ..to presume to judge
your choices, right?

- Yeah.

- But at the same time,
I'm also aware

that with everything going on,

it's actually screaming out,
isn't it, the fact...

- Yeah. Look, that's true.

- ..that you've embraced
a kind of work

that involves a lot of emotional
and physical self-exposure.

- Yeah. 100%.
- Right?

And you must have thought
about that a lot?

- Definitely.

And I think that because
I was just so used to it,

I don't see it as a big deal,
because I...

- Right. Which doesn't
necessarily mean

- it isn't a big deal.
- Yeah, exactly.

- Is there part of you
that's wondering whether...

it's the right kind of work?

- No, I'm fine with the work.

I think it gives you, like,
a numbness.

- But I think...
A sort of "numbness."

OK, that's a good way
of putting it.

- It's just, like, I always say
this to my mum, like,

"I don't like sex,
I like affection,"

and you get affection from sex,

and I seem to think that that's
the only way I'm gonna get it,

so I'm, like, trapped in this.

But I don't think
that I'm gonna get affection

from these men on Adult Work.

I know for a fact that it's,
like, not sustainable,

and I know that that's not gonna
cure me.

I'm cute, aren't I? I'm so fat.

Look at my cheeks. [laughs]

[solemn music]

It seemed clear Ashleigh was
drawn to selling sex

at least in part
because of a background of abuse

and ill treatment.

How her new life would
contribute to her recovery

I found almost impossible
to know.

More than ever, I was struck by
the difficult position

of many of those selling sex,

taking part in an economy
viewed by some as immoral

and others as coerced
and unhealthy...

feeling judged on both sides.

But I was also troubled by
the question of whether

they were being completely open
with me

about the cost of what they did.

Back in Nottingham
for one last visit,

I was with Victoria and Sapphire
on an outing to the nail salon.

- Victoria: Mmm,
what shall I have?

- Have a blue sorta thing.
- I don't like blue.

- I like blue.
It looks nice on you.

Oh, not silver,
'cause you always get silver.

- Right.
- I'll have to get pink.

- I love pink-silver
on my glitter. [laughs]

- But I think the two of you
are quite close, aren't you?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, we're very close.

- Yeah.

But she's still at that age now
where...

she's got her own little life,

and she wants to go out with
her friends, as well.

- Mmm. Do you think, having had
the experiences you had

growing up, that that's made you
more careful as a mum?

- Oh, God, yeah. Definitely.

[laughs] Sapphire will tell you,
I've put trackers on her phone

and everything, haven't I?

- You're very protective.

But that's a good thing.

I know I've complained about it
a lot,

but it is a good thing really,
isn't it?

- It is, yeah.

- In an alternate reality,

if Sapphire was sort of
a different person

and wanted to pursue work
like you do, adult work,

what would be your view?

- No, I wouldn't want that
at all, you know?

No, of course I wouldn't.

It's just the judgement
around it,

especially when everybody else
is questioning you and saying,

you know, stuff about you,
you...

then you're battling with
yourself, thinking,

"Am I doing the right thing?
Am I not?" You know?

I think that's why girls
don't last long

in this industry, as well.

I guess it's a whole stigma.

- [laughs] Bye-bye!
[laughs] See ya!

- Bye!

Oh!

- Louis: Driving back, I thought
about Victoria's choices.

For all the difficulty
they'd created in her life,

it was also true that they'd
allowed her to give her children

an upbringing very different
from the one she'd had.

- Hello!
- Oh, thank you! See ya!

Look what we got!

Wait! Don't all grab.
Don't be rude.

I'm gonna put 'em on a plate
for you.

- [kid laughs]

- Louis: They bring you
a dipping sauce, as well.

That's quite handy, isn't it?

- Come on, let's go get you
in bed. Shoes off.

Come on then, do your teeth.

Do you want a book?

"Paw Patrol pups love spending
time playing outdoors."

- Louis: Goodnight!

With the kids in bed, it was a
chance to speak more candidly.

- You'd talked about getting
out of escorting...

- Yeah.

- ..and just doing adult film
and appearances,

- things like that.
- Yeah.

- Are you winding it down?

- I'm being a lot more picky,
yeah. Definitely.

Even, to be honest, on certain
shoots and stuff like that,

I've just said, "No,
I'm not doing that anymore.

"I don't need to do that."

I'm spreading myself too thinly.
I'm just wearing myself out.

- And doing this sorta work
doesn't make you...

feel anything against men?

Men are just...

[laughs] Well...

I always refer to 'em as very
simple creatures, pretty much.

They're not complex like us.

They're not.
You know, they're very simple.

The majority of men
are not nice. [laughs]

There's a big percentage that,
you know,

I don't agree with,
I don't think are nice,

I don't think respectable.

- And what are you basing
that on?

The fact that the way men
have treated you

in your personal life,
or the way your clients are?

- Or both?
- Both.

I think it takes a lot for me
to be able to, I don't know...

trust a man or whatever.

- When we were talking before,
there was this question of,

can it be healthy sort of
psychologically, I suppose.

What I hear from you is that,
actually,

doing sex work
is emotionally complicated.

- Yeah. [sighs]

I mean, ideally, I'd love
a normal relationship, you know?

But, I mean, the situation
I'm in at the minute...

[sighs]

..is just a relationship with me
and the children,

do you know what I mean?

But, obviously, I don't wanna
be like this forever.

[sighs]

[footsteps]

One of the kids is up.
[laughs]

Let me go and ask him
to settle down.

[solemn music]

- Louis: Whether because of
prejudice

or the unique nature
of physical intimacy,

we have for centuries
tended to judge those

who trade sex for money.

My time among those working
in the new sexual economy

had shown me women escaping
lives of repression and abuse,

who believed they were using
trauma to empower themselves.

With some, I'd worried about
the possibility

of making vulnerabilities worse.

But it was also true
that for at least one,

faced with few other options,

it had made a precarious
position more manageable

for her and her family.

Captioned by Ai-Media
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