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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:06,089 (SOULFUL R&B MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,629 (BED SQUEAKING) 3 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,853 ls he asleep yet? 4 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,605 Yeah, I'll go put him to bed. 5 00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,066 (SIGHS) 6 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:11,028 R. Kelly always does the trick. 7 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:15,158 I think Evan may be developing a rash. 8 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,493 You know, when you rub the Aquaphor on his tush, 9 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,078 you can't just put it on his cheeks, 10 00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:21,247 you have to rub it all over the anus, too. 11 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,332 All over the anus, got it. 12 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,044 I think I'm going to take a bath, okay? 13 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,881 Okay, babe. Go for it. 14 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,633 (WATER RUNNING) 15 00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,532 Not this time. 16 00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:01,370 Okay, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Okay. 17 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,539 (VOCALIZING SOFTLY) 18 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,708 Yep. 19 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,796 WOMAN: Oh, yeah, you like it nasty, don't you? 20 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:14,383 Oh, I do. I do, I'm sorry. Guilty as charged. (CHUCKLES) 21 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,594 God, you're so big, it hurts. 22 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,596 I know, I can't help it. 23 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:19,931 Oh, yeah! 24 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,224 Give it to me, daddy. Oh, yeah. 25 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,767 Give it to me, daddy. Give it to me... Oh, yeah. 26 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:24,185 EVAN: Daddy? 27 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,022 Evan! What the... 28 00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:29,565 You're opening doors now? How did... 29 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,859 I saw a monster. A what? 30 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,736 WOMAN: Stick your finger in my asshole. 31 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:34,946 God. (WOMAN MOANS) 32 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,197 Fuck, yeah! Fuck, yeah! 33 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,531 Come on, come on, come on. Fuck, yeah! 34 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,408 I want you to come all over my... 35 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:41,577 (IN FALSETTO) Oh, my God! 36 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,621 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 37 00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,416 Evan, don't touch that! 38 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:48,834 Don't... 39 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,754 Daddy, boo-boo. 40 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:53,756 What the... 41 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,841 Oh, my God. 42 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,551 Okay, don't move. Stay here. 43 00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,387 Daddy needs a Band-Aid. 44 00:03:00,264 --> 00:03:01,931 (MICHELLE MOANING) 45 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:05,434 Michelle? 46 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,437 Do you... 47 00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:12,066 Mommy, Daddy, are you okay? 48 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,574 (UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING) 49 00:03:44,016 --> 00:03:45,558 (PHONE RINGING) 50 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,560 Jim Levenstein. 51 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,979 They still haven't gotten you an assistant yet, huh? 52 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,773 Kev, I'm sorry, I've been meaning to call you back. 53 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,608 I've just been... Busy? 54 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:55,985 I get it. 55 00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:57,653 Look, I'll make this quick, okay? 56 00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,823 The reunion, you in? 57 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,783 Hold on, is that really happening? 58 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,327 Yeah, man, check your Facebook. 59 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,245 Look, I know they missed the ten-year by a couple, 60 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:08,831 but, you know, seems like people are actually going. 61 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,167 Hey, hon. Hey! 62 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,294 Mmm. Dinner smells great. 63 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,420 Hey, Ellie. 64 00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,504 ELLIE: Hey, Jim. 65 00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,673 Ooh, Bachelorette finale later. 66 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,801 And don't forget, we still have to watch Real Housewives. 67 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:23,012 Yeah, how could I forget? 68 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,139 Hey, Kev, you know who my favorite housewife is? 69 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,308 You. 70 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,684 Very funny. 71 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:33,022 Look, I love my wife, but I need a weekend with the guys. 72 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,233 Come on, we'll go a few days early. No Stifler this time. 73 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:39,028 Just you, me, Oz and Finch. 74 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,821 Yeah, well, good luck with that. 75 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,657 I heard Finch's mom doesn't even know where he is. 76 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,909 And what about Oz? 77 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:48,329 I mean, do you really think he would come with all he has going on? 78 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,879 And we're back here on Sports View, 79 00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:00,382 with my special guest, Chad Ochocinco. 80 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,177 Chad, which college football powerhouse 81 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:06,097 is gonna have the most players drafted in this year's draft? 82 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,183 I'm gonna have to go with my alma mater, the Oregon State. 83 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,561 Come on, man! What are you smoking, Ocho? 84 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,480 You think I don't know what I'm talking about? 85 00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,732 Do me a favor, take a look at the tape. 86 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,068 Hey, babe, I'm home! 87 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,571 And that wraps it up for my special guest, Chad Ochocinco. 88 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:27,409 This is Chris Ostreicher reminding you to play on, (IN FALSETTO) playa! 89 00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,045 Hey, Mia? 90 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:39,505 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 91 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,842 Oh, my gosh! So funny. (LAUGHING) 92 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,971 Oh, hey, baby! 93 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:48,597 Hi! 94 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,641 I was just watching your show a minute ago. 95 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,767 Oh, yeah? 96 00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,018 ls everything okay? 97 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,938 You tell me. You're in the hot tub with another dude. 98 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,439 You are worried about Deshaun? 99 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,775 Aw, that is so cute! 100 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,903 Deshaun's the interior decorator I told you about. 101 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,530 Hey, Christopher! 102 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,949 Strip down! Come join us. 103 00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:10,411 Maybe next time, Deshaun. 104 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,916 I still don't get why we need an interior decorator. 105 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,211 Because the place needs to look perfect for the lnStyle shoot. 106 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,963 Babe, trust me. 107 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,507 Remember how you didn't wanna go on Celebrity Dance Off at first? 108 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,885 Now think of all the fans you have. 109 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:30,723 Oh! I almost forgot, Mario Lopez is having a Memorial Day party. 110 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,725 I told him we're in. 111 00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:36,562 (CHUCKLES) Actually, I was thinking about going 112 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,064 to my high school reunion that weekend. 113 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,943 Well, if you're going, I'm going, too. 114 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,778 Really? Yeah. 115 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:45,946 All right. 116 00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,365 Mia, love, phone call. It's Rumer. 117 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,284 Oh, shit, let me talk to her. 118 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,746 What's with you jacking my style, bitch? 119 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,624 DESHAUN: Anything I can get for you, Christopher? 120 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,004 Uh... 121 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:05,341 (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS) 122 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:21,315 Morning, co-workers and cock-jerkers! 123 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,275 Reggie, give me some love. 124 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,944 Looking good, Stifler. 125 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,780 Ladies, better be working hard, 126 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,281 you weren't hired for your looks. 127 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,033 Actually, you were. 128 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,660 Not you. (WOMAN SCOFFS) 129 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,955 Seriously? 130 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,084 Bob, what are you doing here? 131 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,418 Don't you know they fired your ass? 132 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,586 What? (LAUGHS) 133 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,505 I'm just fucking with you. 134 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:45,798 Or am I? 135 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,591 (STUTTERS) Hey! 136 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,720 Coffee for the pretty lady? 137 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,681 Sure, thanks. 138 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,808 Let me know if you want some creamer with that. 139 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:57,142 (GRUNTS) 140 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,900 Hello, you. How are you? 141 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:08,112 "Oh, I'm good, Stifmeister, 'cause you know what? 'Cause you're the best." 142 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,489 "Oh, I am the best." "Yes, you are the..." 143 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,784 "You know, I love you so much that I'm going to just have some fun down here. 144 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,244 "Oh, yeah, yeah..." 145 00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:17,663 What the hell are you doing? Jesus Christ! 146 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:21,041 Shit, sorry, Mr. Duraiswamy. It's... I was just... 147 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,167 Huh? That's good, it's all clean. 148 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,004 I told you to print out the morning numbers and put them on my desk, 149 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,630 and you're making yourself at home? 150 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,549 No, I just thought... (MOCKING) "I just thought..." 151 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,093 I don't pay you to think. You are a temp. 152 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:34,430 Yeah, about that. I feel like I'm being way underutilized here. 153 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,849 Oh, you do, do you? 154 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,934 Thank you for telling me how you feel. 155 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,728 Do you mind if I tell you how I feel? 156 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:44,940 I feel the sooner you realize that you're the bitch, 157 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,026 not the boss, 158 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,404 (WHISPERING) the better off you will be. 159 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,823 (WHISPERS) Fucker. What was that? 160 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,116 Nothing! 161 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,410 Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy. 162 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,245 (LOUDLY) Fucker! 163 00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,539 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO) 164 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:09,173 You know, we still haven't discussed the whole 165 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:11,550 bathtub incident. 166 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,719 Huh? Oh, that? That's... 167 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,055 That... Don't worry about that. 168 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,975 Well, I mean, you know, obviously, 169 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,686 I would prefer it if I was the one 170 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,022 that made you feel that way, but... 171 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,690 I know how you feel. 172 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,861 Every time I want to shop online and I start typing "Amazon," 173 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:35,532 "amazingcollegesluts.com" pops up. 174 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,452 Amazing what? 175 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,914 Okay, look, obviously 176 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:47,586 we need to have more fun together. 177 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,546 I promise you, this weekend, 178 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:54,051 there is going to be plenty of Jim and Michelle time, okay? 179 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:02,976 Hey! 180 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,103 Hello, sweetheart. 181 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,521 How are you? Oh! 182 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,231 It's so good to see you. JIM: Hey, Dad. 183 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,108 Hello, son! Come here. 184 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,693 Hi! Hi! 185 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,737 LEVENSTEIN: Oh, no! Look who that is! 186 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:17,449 Look at this big bruiser! Oh, my goodness! 187 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,202 He has grown. LEVENSTEIN: Look at him! Huh? 188 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,789 Someone's got a little poopy diaper. 189 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:26,583 (PUNK MUSIC BLARING) 190 00:10:36,678 --> 00:10:38,345 (CAR HORN HONKING) 191 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,030 Jim? 192 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,537 I can't believe it's you. 193 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,874 You don't remember me, do you? 194 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,377 Uh... Remember Teletubby Tuesdays? 195 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,921 Kara? 196 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,756 Oh, my God. 197 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:19,428 What? You're not a kid anymore. 198 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,055 It's been a long time since I needed a babysitter. 199 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:26,101 I can't believe how much you've grown up. 200 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,311 Thanks! 201 00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,396 It's actually my 18th birthday tomorrow. 202 00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:30,564 Eighteen, wow. 203 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,232 You should come to my party. 204 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,317 Oh, uh... 205 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,569 Thank you, no. I... Yeah, that might be difficult. 206 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,529 Please, I want you to come so bad. 207 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,117 Hey, Kara! We gotta go. 208 00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,453 Okay, relax. 209 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,372 That's AJ. Don't ask. 210 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,541 Hopefully I will see you tomorrow. 211 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,127 What? AJ: Who the fuck was that? 212 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,880 Hey, sweetie. 213 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:55,964 Hey. 214 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,216 Who were you talking to? 215 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,801 That was just the kid next door. 216 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:05,849 (SIGHS) 217 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,397 (CHUCKLES) 218 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,784 (INHALES DEEPLY) 219 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,620 Hello, my old friends. 220 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,005 I thought about throwing them out, 221 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:41,426 but they just have too much sentimental value. 222 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,636 (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 223 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,265 Oh, Jim, Jim, Jim. 224 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,354 You know, I can remember when you were just a little guy. 225 00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,439 And now you've got your own little guy. 226 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,607 I know. 227 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,402 And before you know it, he's gonna be a teenager... 228 00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,611 Wow. 229 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:03,115 And you'll be teaching him about masturbation 230 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,784 and, you know, all the do's and all the don'ts 231 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,202 that have to do with the little guy's weenie. 232 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,287 Okay. Right? 233 00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:11,123 Hopefully, it'll be more of a bratwurst by the time he's a teenager... 234 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:12,416 Okay, Dad, I get it. ...but I'm just... 235 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,001 Well, these are things you're gonna have to deal with. 236 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,752 I understand. It's just, you know, he's two. 237 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,671 Well, yeah, maybe you've got time, but... 238 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,716 So, you know, I just, I'd rather not talk about his penis. 239 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,926 How you doing, Dad? I'm good. 240 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:26,096 Yeah? What are you doing for fun? You seen any movies lately? 241 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,891 Well, you know, your mother and I did go to a lot of movies. 242 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:32,644 Well... 243 00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:38,233 You know, it has been three years since she passed, Dad. 244 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,570 There's gotta be someone in town you can see a movie with. 245 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:45,032 I have you now. We'll see a movie tonight, you and me. 246 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,075 (STUTTERING) Tonight? 247 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,869 Well, I made plans with the guys, 248 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,662 to meet up with them tonight at the bar... Oh. 249 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:51,913 But... Yeah, yeah... 250 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,666 But I don't need to do that. I can do that tomorrow. 251 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,419 No. No, no, no, no. This is why you're in town, isn't it? 252 00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,838 No, no, no. You go. I'll be fine. 253 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,132 I was just planning on staying in tonight 254 00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,925 and, you know, doing a little reading. 255 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:10,432 Oh, not this. No. No. 256 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:15,604 Although, I do remember reading a very interesting article 257 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,607 on something Brazilian. 258 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,194 Boy, these pages are all stuck together here. 259 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,906 I got it. 260 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,624 Kev. 261 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,584 Hey! 262 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,796 What's up, man? Jim. 263 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,130 Hey, guys! 264 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,757 Oz. There he is. 265 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:44,883 You made it. 266 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,844 Hey, I missed your wedding, I wasn't gonna miss this. 267 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,638 Hey, buddy. What's up, pal? 268 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,473 Good to see you. Yeah, man. 269 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,141 Hey, Kev! 270 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,518 Looking good, look at you! 271 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,395 Oh, stop it. Come on. 272 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:57,479 (ALL CHUCKLING) (CAR HORN HONKING) 273 00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,320 (TIRES SCREECHING) 274 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,162 Gentlemen. 275 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,289 Finch? Finch! 276 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,416 Oh, my God! lt great to see you, James. 277 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,458 Changed at all, Jim. 278 00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:19,543 Good to see you, pal. 279 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,669 I didn't think you were gonna make it. 280 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,753 Finch, how are you, man? 281 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:26,758 So, after my troubles in Beijing, I just moved to Dubai, 282 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,095 and then I got all caught up in the world of underground baccarat. 283 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,557 Spent the rest of '09 living with this African tribe. 284 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,810 Oh, they made me an honorary tribesman. 285 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:37,936 Oh. 286 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,354 Whoa, that looks like it hurt. 287 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,523 lt looks like that because it did hurt, Kevin. 288 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,694 Since then, I've just been biking through South America. 289 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,780 So, basically, you are the most interesting man in the world. 290 00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:51,032 Yeah. Let me guess, 291 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,660 you guys are here for the reunion, huh? 292 00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,829 You got it. Class of '99. 293 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:57,539 Haven't I seen you before? 294 00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,791 Yeah, I'm on TV. 295 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,335 No, not you. You. 296 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,883 'Cause, your face, you're just so familiar. 297 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,635 Yeah! Yeah, this is you, right? 298 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,637 (ALL LAUGHING) KEVIN: Oh! Man, Nadia! 299 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:15,182 More, more, you bad boy! 300 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,476 I swear I had these all taken down. How did you... 301 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,644 Oh, yeah. How many times did you pre-ejaculate again? 302 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,188 Oh, leave him alone. 303 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,357 I bet you were all desperate virgins back then. 304 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,237 Selena Vega. 305 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,657 That's Selena Vega in front of us. Wait, wait, wait, Selena... 306 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,743 Hold on, Michelle's friend from band? 307 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,827 You got it. 308 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,704 Oh, my God. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. 309 00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,206 You look 310 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,665 different. 311 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,668 Well, next round's on me, okay, guys? 312 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,838 Hey, that chick was in band? 313 00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,424 This is the first long weekend I have had in a while 314 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,759 so I wanna make it count. 315 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:54,054 I want the place spotless, and I want it filled with booze. 316 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,139 And I wanna make sure you're not around on Sunday night, 317 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,183 'cause I plan on bringing some ass back from the reunion, 318 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,852 and I wanna tap that without you there. You got it? 319 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,272 You know, first of all, Steven, it's my house. 320 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,066 You're lucky I'm letting you stay here. 321 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,360 Look, you wanted me to get a job, so I got one. 322 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,195 At least let me have the house for the weekend. 323 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,614 My house, my rules. 324 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,075 And as for tonight, if you don't wanna risk coming home 325 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,868 and seeing more of your mother than you'd like, 326 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,704 I suggest you stay out late. 327 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:22,999 Gross. 328 00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:25,293 (ALL LAUGHING) 329 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,296 That was really... 330 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,674 Hey, bar wench, can I get a Budweiser? 331 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:35,470 Beer down. 332 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,350 What the fuck are you fuckers doing here? 333 00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,025 You made it! Made what? 334 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,151 What are you talking about? 335 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,238 What do you mean? We sent you an e-mail 336 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,116 about getting together a couple of days before the reunion. 337 00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:00,203 You know what? I must have put two F's in "Stifmeister." 338 00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,788 JIM: What? KEVIN: I'm sorry. 339 00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:05,625 (LAUGHS) 340 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,003 Two F's? You dumbass! 341 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,379 Kev! 342 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,339 Hey, Kevin, is that a pussy on your face? 343 00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:12,799 (TRILLING LIPS) Oh, come on! 344 00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,676 Yeah, yeah, yeah! (SNIFFING) 345 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,885 Nice. 346 00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,637 So, Stifler, you're looking sharp. 347 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,139 What are you up to these days? 348 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,600 I work at JBH Global. 349 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,685 Wow! That's a big-time firm. 350 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:24,936 What do you do over there? 351 00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,188 Oh, you know, 352 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,357 investment stuff. 353 00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,193 People wonder why our financial system's falling apart. 354 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,322 Nice scarf. I see you finally came out of the closet. 355 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,032 How is your mother, Stifler? 356 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,908 You stay away from my mom, shitbreak. 357 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,578 Okay, boys, the past is the past. 358 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,288 We can bury the hatchet here, huh? 359 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,040 Yeah, fuck it. 360 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,959 Hey, short-shorts! A round of Jägerbombs for me and my boys! 361 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,461 Go fuck yourself, Stifler. 362 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,005 How the hell does she know my name? 363 00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:55,050 STIFLER: (CACKLING) Lard Arms? 364 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,301 JIM: Jesus, Stifler. 365 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,346 Talk about an ugly duckling turning into a swan, right? 366 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,349 Let me see that. 367 00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:08,772 Oh! Fingered her, hairy nips, huge boobs. 368 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:11,441 Oh. (MOANS) 369 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,610 There she is! 370 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,737 The crème de my cock. 371 00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,572 Blowjob Lipstein. 372 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:21,076 Her given name was Loni, Stifler. 373 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,953 She used to call me Big Stiffy. 374 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,957 She was the mouth that got away. 375 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,167 Last call! 376 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:32,462 Already? Wait here, guys. 377 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,924 Oh! Man, the Senior Wish List. 378 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,051 Wish List? I don't remember that. 379 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,845 Oh, yeah, man. It's that cheesy page in the yearbook 380 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,056 where we all had to write wishes about our future. 381 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,017 What, did you write something cheesy? Let's see. 382 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:50,939 "Chris Ostreicher. Hopes to coach his son's lacrosse team." 383 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,233 Oh! Isn't that the sweetest thing? 384 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,526 Well, 385 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,737 I guess I thought I'd have a family by now. 386 00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,114 All right, you wanna hear what you wrote, Finch? 387 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,281 FINCH: I do. 388 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:04,244 "Paul Finch hopes to find le grand amour." 389 00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,538 Yes, true love. 390 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:11,251 Alas, I have yet to find what you would call a real relationship. 391 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:14,045 Right, because banging Stifler's mom didn't count. 392 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,257 OZ: All right, let's see what you got, Kev. 393 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,844 "Kevin Myers. Hopes to still be living it up 394 00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:24,097 "with the amazing Vicky Lathum." 395 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,557 Oh, man! Vicky! What? 396 00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:28,017 I am sure your wife would be very happy to read that. 397 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,937 What? I was dating Vicky at the time. 398 00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,439 Let me see what I put. 399 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:35,900 "Jim Levenstein 400 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:45,076 "hopes to have the sex life of Ricky Martin." 401 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,915 So, I'm assuming you didn't know he was gay back then. 402 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,667 Jim, it's a good thing you found a woman 403 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:54,586 with the sex drive of a dozen groupies. Hmm? 404 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,005 I mean, you're probably having more sex than any of us. 405 00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,341 Probably, you know. 406 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,511 Hope you guys are thirsty. Stifler Claus is here. 407 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,264 Whoa! Stifler, that's a little too much, don't you think? 408 00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,516 Dude, find your balls and return them to your sack. 409 00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:10,685 I say we keep this party going. 410 00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,687 I say we make this weekend our bitch. 411 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,316 We could party together, do all the same shit that we used to do together. 412 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:17,817 It'll be just like old times. 413 00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,653 Hell yes! That's why I'm here. 414 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,323 No Bachelorette, no Real Housewives. 415 00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:27,035 Thing is, you only get one chance at your 13th reunion. 416 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,582 I was kind of hoping to spend a little time with the wife. 417 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:33,708 Fuck! Dude! 418 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:36,169 James? What? Come on! 419 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:39,005 I mean, I'm in. Of course I'm in. Come on, what? 420 00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,173 Yeah! Yeah. 421 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:43,927 Then, gentlemen, I hope you're all wearing protection, 422 00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,137 because this weekend, we're gonna fuck shit up! 423 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:47,972 JIM: Cheers! OZ: Yeah! All right! 424 00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:52,018 (DOORBELL RINGING) 425 00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:54,437 (GROANS SOFTLY) 426 00:22:08,827 --> 00:22:10,620 What the fuck? 427 00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,165 Holy shit. 428 00:22:16,919 --> 00:22:17,919 (BOTH GIGGLING) 429 00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,671 Hey! 430 00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:21,256 Hi. 431 00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,675 What happened? 432 00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:28,429 (STUTTERING) I don't really remember. 433 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:32,517 I blame you. How much did you let him drink last night? 434 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:35,395 SELENA: Honestly, not that much. 435 00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:38,773 Well, we gotta clean this up before we go to the lake. 436 00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:42,026 What? The lake? 437 00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:45,280 Yeah, the lake, dude. lt was your idea. 438 00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:47,991 We discussed all this last night. 439 00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,368 Oh, the lake! Yes, of course, the... 440 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,745 Hey, Jim, can you hand me those paper towels, please? 441 00:22:55,874 --> 00:22:58,459 Oh, those paper towels? The paper ones. 442 00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:00,545 Uh... 443 00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,381 The paper towels, Jim. 444 00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:05,466 Jim! Yeah... 445 00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,010 The paper towels! 446 00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:09,262 (GASPS) 447 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,476 I'm really sorry. 448 00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:20,523 Jim, you do realize that the lid is see-through, right? 449 00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,153 Oh, wow. 450 00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:29,574 Good eye. 451 00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:33,161 That's the father of my child. 452 00:23:37,666 --> 00:23:39,167 (WHOOPING) 453 00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:49,135 Oh, come on! 454 00:23:49,219 --> 00:23:51,721 Hey, watch it! Okay, jeez. 455 00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:55,433 Am I wrong, or was this place a lot more fun when we were younger? 456 00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:58,770 No, no. I think it's the same. We're just old now. 457 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:03,149 But were we just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day? 458 00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:04,484 No. 459 00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:07,320 Us, our generation, we were more mature. 460 00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:09,155 Hey, guys, check it out. 461 00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,657 Vagina shark! 462 00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:15,203 (SCREAMING) 463 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,579 He touched my snatch! 464 00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:18,831 I take that back. 465 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,258 FINCH: Oh, my God. 466 00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:31,177 Fellas, do you gotta stare? 467 00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:32,345 Yeah. Yeah. 468 00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:34,097 Yes, we do need to stare. 469 00:24:35,349 --> 00:24:39,143 (SCOFFS) Could Jim be any more obvious? 470 00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:41,729 Oh, give him a break. 471 00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:45,483 I mean, it's not every day you get to see a model walking around off the page. 472 00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:49,987 There hasn't been a whole lot of sexy time 473 00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:52,115 in the Levenstein household lately. 474 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,199 Why not? 475 00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,994 I don't know. I'm a mom now. 476 00:24:57,079 --> 00:24:59,372 (SCOFFS) Oh, please! 477 00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,457 Just because you're a mom doesn't mean 478 00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:04,085 there isn't a whole other side to you. (LAUGHS) 479 00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,964 Hey, remember that one time at band camp, 480 00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:10,508 when we licked whipped cream off each other's... 481 00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:13,803 Yes! Yes! I remember. 482 00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:16,055 Let's keep that in the past, though, okay? 483 00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:19,684 JIM: Oh, she's... 484 00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:22,437 Yeah, well, you gotta do that, or else you're gonna get tan lines. 485 00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:25,064 Sideboob. There... Sorry. (WHISPERING) Sideboob. Ozzy, look! 486 00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:27,608 Okay! Come on! 487 00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,486 You're a lucky man, Oz. 488 00:25:31,071 --> 00:25:33,906 Oh, come on, guys. I think we're all pretty 489 00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:36,784 lucky. 490 00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:42,290 Wait, is that Heather? 491 00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:45,126 (INDISTINCT) 492 00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:47,128 Yeah, it is. 493 00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:51,632 Heather. 494 00:25:51,758 --> 00:25:52,758 Chris! 495 00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:54,802 Hey. 496 00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:56,471 What are you doing here? 497 00:25:56,638 --> 00:26:00,391 I guess we had the same idea, huh? 498 00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:03,102 Chris, this is Ron, my boyfriend. 499 00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,563 Chris Ostreicher, Ron Douglas. It's a pleasure to meet you. 500 00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:06,731 How do you do? 501 00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:08,816 Ron's a cardiologist at my hospital. 502 00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,319 A cardiologist. Wow. 503 00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:15,031 Yeah. And, hey, listen, my friends call me Doctor Ron, D-Ron or just Dron. 504 00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:16,073 So you feel free. 505 00:26:16,158 --> 00:26:17,700 Okay. 506 00:26:17,784 --> 00:26:18,951 Hey, fuckface! 507 00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:21,162 Choir chick! Whoa! 508 00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:23,581 Nice to see you, too, Stifler. 509 00:26:23,790 --> 00:26:24,790 Who's this douche? 510 00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:27,168 I'm her boyfriend. 511 00:26:28,504 --> 00:26:30,630 So, you two are banging, 512 00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:33,257 and you two used to bang. 513 00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:36,260 This must be awkward for all of you. 514 00:26:36,345 --> 00:26:38,095 (LAUGHS) lt is now. 515 00:26:38,180 --> 00:26:39,180 (WOMAN SCREAMING) 516 00:26:39,806 --> 00:26:41,641 That little shit took my top! (LAUGHS) 517 00:26:41,808 --> 00:26:43,142 Give it back! 518 00:26:43,518 --> 00:26:47,146 Um, that's my girlfriend. 519 00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:50,608 What's this? What's this? (WOMEN SCREAMING) 520 00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:51,734 (LAUGHS) 521 00:26:51,818 --> 00:26:54,779 Hey, kid! What do you think you're doing? 522 00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,531 Hey! Come on, come on, let's go! 523 00:26:57,699 --> 00:26:59,825 Come on, guys. Not cool! 524 00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,954 What're you assholes gonna do about it? (BOYS SNICKERING) 525 00:27:04,706 --> 00:27:06,123 (EXCLAIMING) 526 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,131 Well, that was interesting. 527 00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:15,675 Well, should we do something? 528 00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:17,134 What are we gonna do? Come on. 529 00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:20,388 Agreed. There's no need to stoop to their level. 530 00:27:20,555 --> 00:27:21,973 Fuck that! 531 00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:24,058 I know exactly where they're going. 532 00:27:27,145 --> 00:27:28,354 Stifler? 533 00:27:29,189 --> 00:27:31,315 (HEAVY METAL MUSIC BLARING) 534 00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:46,831 (SIGHS) 535 00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:48,416 JIM: Where the hell is he? 536 00:27:48,583 --> 00:27:49,917 Guys, this is stupid. 537 00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,211 I really can't keep Michelle waiting. Can we just head back? 538 00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:54,255 Hold on. Let Stifler do his thing. 539 00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:56,507 Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. 540 00:28:04,099 --> 00:28:05,725 Did you guys see the look on their faces? 541 00:28:05,892 --> 00:28:06,934 Fucking awesome. 542 00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:08,561 BO: He is crazy. 543 00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:12,857 I think one of those guys was Kara's babysitter. 544 00:28:12,941 --> 00:28:14,025 Which one? 545 00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:16,402 You know, the one that looked like Adam Sandler. 546 00:28:16,486 --> 00:28:18,029 (BOYS LAUGHING) 547 00:28:23,910 --> 00:28:26,120 JIM: Stifler better not do anything crazy. 548 00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:27,913 All he's gonna do is tell them off. 549 00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:29,874 I thought he was gonna cut their jet skis free. 550 00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,584 What happened to pissing in their suntan lotion? 551 00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,211 Hold on. He told me he was going to steal their beer. 552 00:28:35,422 --> 00:28:36,464 (SIGHING) Stifler. 553 00:28:47,768 --> 00:28:50,353 KEVIN: Oh, wait. There he is. 554 00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:51,562 OZ: All right. 555 00:28:51,646 --> 00:28:53,939 JIM: Yep, he's taking their beer. 556 00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,275 All right, hurry up, Stifler. Come on. 557 00:28:57,277 --> 00:28:59,487 What is he doing? 558 00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:01,072 OZ: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. JIM: Wait. 559 00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:02,782 Oh, God! KEVIN: Oh, my God. 560 00:29:02,908 --> 00:29:04,075 Steven! No! 561 00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:05,159 Oh, God. 562 00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:07,328 Yo, so you really think Kara's gonna give it up tonight? 563 00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:09,413 AJ: She was waiting until she turns 18. You do the math. 564 00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:10,456 (GRUNTING) 565 00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:15,252 The only math I know is you've added your penis to her vagina zero times. 566 00:29:17,339 --> 00:29:18,714 (SPLASHING) 567 00:29:19,841 --> 00:29:20,841 (SIGHS) 568 00:29:20,926 --> 00:29:22,510 KYLE: Jennifer's not a skank. 569 00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:23,594 BO: Dude, yes, she is. 570 00:29:23,678 --> 00:29:24,762 I'm gonna throw up. 571 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:27,264 Oh, my God. That's disgusting. 572 00:29:27,349 --> 00:29:28,474 What're you doing? 573 00:29:28,683 --> 00:29:30,476 (MOUTHING) 574 00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:32,353 Hurry up. Come on! 575 00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:34,605 BO: Down it, man! Just chug it! Chug it! 576 00:29:34,689 --> 00:29:36,690 Do it. Do it! Don't puss out. 577 00:29:36,858 --> 00:29:38,359 Don't puss out! 578 00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:39,443 Let's just go. Let's go. 579 00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:40,528 Go, go. Go, go, go, go. Go, go. 580 00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,697 You want another? 581 00:29:43,865 --> 00:29:44,865 For sure. 582 00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:49,620 Guys, I'm telling you, tonight is gonna be the night she promised me a year ago. 583 00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:57,795 What the... 584 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,214 Hey! Dipshit! 585 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,724 No! 586 00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:13,227 No, no! 587 00:30:14,771 --> 00:30:15,980 (LOUD CRASHING) 588 00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,567 Stifler! Are you crazy? 589 00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:23,154 Jesus, Stifler, what happened to just stealing their beer? 590 00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:25,239 I know, this is so much better, right? 591 00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:27,199 What? (LAUGHS) 592 00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:29,243 JIM: You destroyed their jet skis. 593 00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:31,412 They splashed us. 594 00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:33,414 So... 595 00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:40,671 Come on, guys. That was pretty funny. 596 00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:43,674 Maybe in high school it was funny. Now it's just a felony. 597 00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:45,009 Only if we get caught. 598 00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:47,845 Yeah, you gotta admit, it was nice giving those kids a little payback. 599 00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:50,014 Maybe it was good that they will learn to respect their elders. 600 00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:51,390 Exactly! 601 00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:54,226 Hey, give me a second, I gotta find some toilet paper. 602 00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:55,603 That's gross. 603 00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:57,980 VICKY: What's up, Class of '99-ers? 604 00:30:58,148 --> 00:31:00,107 Oh, my God! Vicky! 605 00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:01,192 Hi! 606 00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:02,276 Hey! 607 00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:03,611 I can't believe you're here. 608 00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,279 Yeah, I flew in from New York last night. 609 00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:06,906 I've been hanging out with my parents. 610 00:31:07,073 --> 00:31:09,116 They were actually just talking about you earlier. 611 00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:10,826 Really? About what? 612 00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:13,454 That time they caught us making out at the Falls. 613 00:31:13,622 --> 00:31:15,039 Oh, right. 614 00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:18,083 The Falls. Wow, I haven't been there in forever. 615 00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:20,294 Michelle used to love going to the Falls. 616 00:31:20,462 --> 00:31:21,795 The place is romance incarnate. 617 00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:25,132 Hell, yeah. I got my first rim job at the Falls. 618 00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,425 Okay. 619 00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:29,303 Hey, sweetie. 620 00:31:29,387 --> 00:31:30,387 Mmm, sweetie pie! 621 00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:31,680 Hello. 622 00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:36,560 So, the guys were all talking about heading over to the Falls. 623 00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:39,772 Well, what about Jim and Michelle time? 624 00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,149 I was thinking it could be kind of romantic. 625 00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:45,861 Well, I'd love to, but your dad has been with Ev all day. 626 00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,696 Yeah, no, you're right. 627 00:31:47,864 --> 00:31:49,865 Okay. Yeah, we'll just, we'll go home. 628 00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:53,077 Oh, no, no. You go and have fun. 629 00:31:53,161 --> 00:31:54,245 Really? Yeah. 630 00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:57,915 Just, when you get home, you just better be ready. 631 00:31:58,083 --> 00:31:59,625 You better be ready. 632 00:31:59,793 --> 00:32:01,335 I'm ready. 633 00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:10,636 Um, Stifler, do you know where you're going? 634 00:32:10,804 --> 00:32:13,264 I know this place like the back of my cock. 635 00:32:13,807 --> 00:32:15,266 (GIRLS SCREAMING) 636 00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:17,142 (DANCE MUSIC BLARING) 637 00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:26,235 lt looks like a high school party. 638 00:32:28,154 --> 00:32:29,530 With high school chicks. 639 00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:32,825 It's on. 640 00:32:32,993 --> 00:32:35,536 Watch it, Stifler. You know these girls are, like, half your age. 641 00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:36,787 I know. 642 00:32:37,872 --> 00:32:38,872 (YELPS) 643 00:32:39,332 --> 00:32:40,666 (CHEERING) 644 00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:46,547 Okay, is it just me, or do girls today seem a bit sluttier? 645 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:47,756 Definitely. 646 00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:50,884 Teen sex, rainbow parties, sexting nude photos... 647 00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:53,429 I saw it all on Kathie Lee & Hoda. 648 00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,639 Happy birthday! (WHOOPING) 649 00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:03,647 Jim? 650 00:33:04,065 --> 00:33:05,774 Kara. You came! 651 00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,359 Hey! 652 00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:09,486 Sorry. 653 00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:10,738 (SQUEALS) 654 00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:11,905 Happy birthday. 655 00:33:13,366 --> 00:33:15,451 Oh, my God, is this the babysitter? 656 00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:16,493 Mmm-hmm. 657 00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:19,079 You make it sound like I'm a superhero. (CHUCKLES) 658 00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:21,957 Faster than a speeding stroller, more powerful than a mini-van. 659 00:33:22,375 --> 00:33:23,375 (ALL LAUGHING) 660 00:33:23,460 --> 00:33:24,543 I told you he was funny. 661 00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:25,836 He's adorable. 662 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,671 (FEIGNING LAUGHTER) 663 00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:30,090 Hey, Jim. Do you wanna introduce me to your friends? 664 00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:31,258 No. 665 00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:35,012 Girls, this is Stifler. 666 00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:37,931 So, how do you know my best friend Jim? 667 00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:39,808 Jim used to be my babysitter. 668 00:33:41,645 --> 00:33:43,687 Hey, I was just gonna do a birthday shot. 669 00:33:43,772 --> 00:33:45,105 Do you guys wanna do one with me? 670 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:46,315 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 671 00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:47,399 Yeah. Oh, yes, yes, yes. 672 00:33:47,525 --> 00:33:49,360 I shouldn't. Yes, we should, yes, we should. 673 00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:53,822 Never have I ever had sex in public. 674 00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,996 Really? None of you? 675 00:34:01,164 --> 00:34:03,791 Oh, come on, Heather. You haven't drank once. 676 00:34:03,958 --> 00:34:05,501 You are such a prude! 677 00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:09,421 Or maybe I've just never had sex in public. 678 00:34:10,256 --> 00:34:15,761 Okay, never have I ever been in an orgy. 679 00:34:21,351 --> 00:34:23,268 They were really nice guys. 680 00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:27,147 Believe it or not, this is my first high school party. 681 00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:28,774 You didn't miss much. 682 00:34:28,942 --> 00:34:33,487 I always preferred staying at home, throwing on a little NPR. 683 00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:35,489 You were so much cooler than me. 684 00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:39,576 I sat around writing X-Files fan fiction. 685 00:34:42,122 --> 00:34:47,334 I translated The Brothers Karamazov into Latin for fun. 686 00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:51,171 That is so sexy. 687 00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:53,674 You know it is. 688 00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:55,509 I've only been working as an architect 689 00:34:55,593 --> 00:34:58,011 for the last few years, and from home. 690 00:34:58,179 --> 00:35:00,055 You've been with the same company for over ten years. 691 00:35:00,223 --> 00:35:02,474 That's awesome, it sounds like everything is working out for you. 692 00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:05,936 Yeah. I mean, everything's good, especially work-wise. 693 00:35:06,020 --> 00:35:07,521 But now that we're back here in the town, 694 00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:09,148 and we see, like, all of our old friends, 695 00:35:09,315 --> 00:35:11,859 and everyone's married and having kids, 696 00:35:12,026 --> 00:35:14,945 it just makes me, you know, think. 697 00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:17,281 (COUGHS) 698 00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:18,532 You okay there, Kev? 699 00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:22,202 Yeah, I just don't normally drink like this. 700 00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:24,413 You're telling me you haven't gotten a little bit tipsy 701 00:35:24,497 --> 00:35:25,914 on Myers Family Wine Night? 702 00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:29,126 I see somebody's been stalking my Facebook page. 703 00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:31,670 At least I don't take pictures of my meals. 704 00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:33,297 Who's stalking who now? 705 00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:36,800 Okay, so I've been by your page maybe once or twice. 706 00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:40,220 You were dating someone named Alessandro? 707 00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:44,057 You know, he does know that he can take a picture with his shirt on, right? 708 00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:47,311 Alessandro is long gone. 709 00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:50,981 It's over, huh? 710 00:35:55,236 --> 00:35:57,237 Okay, after this drink, I have to go home. 711 00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:58,363 Jim. 712 00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:02,284 There's a smoking hot 18-year-old girl over there that you used to babysit. 713 00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:04,411 And you're not going to do anything about that? 714 00:36:04,579 --> 00:36:06,663 Need I remind you that I am married to Michelle? 715 00:36:06,748 --> 00:36:07,748 Exactly. 716 00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:13,629 Dude, these young chicks, they know some crazy shit in the bedroom. 717 00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:17,007 You could take what you learn from Kara, 718 00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,760 bring it home, and apply it to Michelle. 719 00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:23,096 You do care about your marriage, don't you, Jim? 720 00:36:23,264 --> 00:36:24,765 What are you talking about, Stifler? 721 00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:27,017 I'm not gonna cheat on my wife! 722 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,186 I'm a father for Christ's sakes. 723 00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:31,355 Yeah, that's perfect. 724 00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:34,149 Yeah, chicks love a father figure. Keep playing that card, dude. 725 00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:36,485 It's not a card, it's the truth. 726 00:36:36,653 --> 00:36:38,028 Hey. Hi. 727 00:36:38,112 --> 00:36:39,446 What are you guys talking about? 728 00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,782 Oh, you know... Just... 729 00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:45,369 Jim was just saying how much fun he had taking care of you. 730 00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:48,163 Hey, ladies, why don't we give them some time to catch up? 731 00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:49,414 Mmm-hmm. Yeah, after you. 732 00:36:49,499 --> 00:36:51,792 No, that's not necessary. We should all hang out together. 733 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,544 Why don't we all... Stifler, just... 734 00:36:53,628 --> 00:36:55,045 Be her daddy. 735 00:36:56,339 --> 00:36:58,131 Stifler? Stifler! 736 00:37:00,134 --> 00:37:05,138 So, sounds like you and Mia have quite an adventurous lifestyle. 737 00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:07,724 Sometimes a little too adventurous. 738 00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:12,396 Wow. Well, Heather's a bit more on the conservative side. 739 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:13,480 But, uh... 740 00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:14,982 Hey! Hi. 741 00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:20,654 But, I gotta be honest, Chris, I could use a little adventure myself. 742 00:37:21,155 --> 00:37:22,698 What are you getting at, Ron? 743 00:37:22,865 --> 00:37:27,578 I'm just saying that usually I'm not one for swapping, 744 00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:33,000 but the fact that you've been with Heather already, kind of makes it okay. 745 00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:36,587 So, what do you think? 746 00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:38,922 Think they'd be into it? 747 00:37:41,175 --> 00:37:42,718 I'm kidding. Come on, I'm kidding! 748 00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:44,261 (LAUGHS) 749 00:37:44,345 --> 00:37:46,179 Seriously, I would never do that! 750 00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:48,932 Unless you guys wanted to. 751 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:52,853 So you've really been to every country in South America? 752 00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:54,938 No, no, not all of them. 753 00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:58,191 And I don't consider French Guiana a nation. 754 00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:03,196 I remember, I couldn't wait till graduation 755 00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:06,283 so I could leave this town and reinvent myself. 756 00:38:06,576 --> 00:38:09,161 You have certainly reinvented yourself. 757 00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:10,329 I don't know. 758 00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:12,623 There's just a part of me that still wishes that 759 00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:15,125 I could just explore the world, you know? 760 00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:17,127 Be everything I set out to be. 761 00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:21,298 You can be whoever you wanna be. You just gotta be it. 762 00:38:24,052 --> 00:38:25,302 You wanna make out? Yeah. 763 00:38:29,390 --> 00:38:32,976 Are you crazy? I love the Twilight books. 764 00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:34,895 New Moon is my favorite. 765 00:38:35,063 --> 00:38:36,063 Mine, too! 766 00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,774 Oh, my God! We have, like, so much in common! 767 00:38:38,941 --> 00:38:40,150 I know! I know! 768 00:38:40,234 --> 00:38:41,234 (ALL LAUGHING) 769 00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:43,570 Wanna hit this? 770 00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:45,405 ln more ways than one. 771 00:38:50,495 --> 00:38:52,579 (WOMAN MOANING ON RINGTONE) 772 00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:57,459 (STIFLED) I don't know who this is, but I'm pretty fucking busy right now. 773 00:38:57,627 --> 00:38:58,835 So sorry to interrupt, Stafler. 774 00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,129 Didn't realize the Special Olympics competed at night. 775 00:39:01,297 --> 00:39:02,297 Oh, fuck. 776 00:39:02,507 --> 00:39:03,924 (COUGHING) 777 00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:05,342 What the hell's going on over there? 778 00:39:05,426 --> 00:39:06,843 What, are you choking on your own dick? 779 00:39:07,804 --> 00:39:10,847 Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy, nothing. 780 00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:12,683 What can I do for you, sir? 781 00:39:12,850 --> 00:39:14,685 Bob from Acquisitions had a heart attack. 782 00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,520 Some idiot told him that he was fired. 783 00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:17,896 He flipped out, I don't know. 784 00:39:18,064 --> 00:39:20,399 Listen, I need someone to finish his presentation. 785 00:39:20,566 --> 00:39:23,318 I need you to go in on Sunday and get everything ready. Yes? 786 00:39:23,486 --> 00:39:25,779 Oh, wait, Sunday. 787 00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:27,864 I got my high school reunion. 788 00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,157 Oh, wow, how fun! 789 00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:30,659 Yeah, no, I'll just call the chairman, 790 00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:31,827 and I'll get him to reschedule. 791 00:39:31,994 --> 00:39:34,246 Seriously? Hey, that would be awesome! 792 00:39:34,414 --> 00:39:37,791 That was a fucking joke, you moron. Jesus Christ, what am I doing? 793 00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:40,627 You know what, I am gonna handle this myself. 794 00:39:40,712 --> 00:39:43,588 No. No, no, no, listen, Mr. Duraiswamy, 795 00:39:43,756 --> 00:39:46,466 I can do it, okay? I promise, I'll get it done. 796 00:39:46,676 --> 00:39:48,176 Just don't fuck up, Stafler. 797 00:39:48,261 --> 00:39:50,804 It's Stifler. (LINE DISCONNECTS) 798 00:39:50,972 --> 00:39:52,931 Dick! Hey, ladies... 799 00:39:53,349 --> 00:39:55,475 Ladies? They bailed, dude. 800 00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:57,352 Aw, fuck! 801 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:00,480 Ugh! Um... 802 00:40:01,107 --> 00:40:02,357 Ooh! (LAUGHS) 803 00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:05,819 Hey, Kara, how are you getting home tonight? 804 00:40:06,571 --> 00:40:08,655 AJ was supposed to drive my car back, 805 00:40:08,823 --> 00:40:10,157 but he hasn't even shown up yet. 806 00:40:10,324 --> 00:40:12,659 Some lame excuse about his jet skis. 807 00:40:12,827 --> 00:40:14,494 Can you believe that jerk? 808 00:40:16,664 --> 00:40:18,165 What about you? 809 00:40:18,332 --> 00:40:19,499 Will you take me? 810 00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:21,877 Uh... Um... 811 00:40:22,503 --> 00:40:25,505 Come on! We're going to the same place. 812 00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:27,591 Besides, it wouldn't be responsible 813 00:40:27,675 --> 00:40:30,010 to let me drive in this condition. 814 00:40:30,386 --> 00:40:31,428 Right? 815 00:40:35,850 --> 00:40:37,601 (POP MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO) 816 00:40:37,685 --> 00:40:38,643 (WHOOPING) 817 00:40:38,728 --> 00:40:40,061 Okay, Kara. 818 00:40:40,688 --> 00:40:44,065 Hey! Whoa! Careful! Careful. Yeah. 819 00:40:44,192 --> 00:40:45,901 Oh, my God, I love this song. 820 00:40:46,068 --> 00:40:47,110 It's a good one. 821 00:40:47,195 --> 00:40:48,737 Isn't classic rock the best? 822 00:40:48,905 --> 00:40:52,199 Classic rock? This is classic rock now? 823 00:40:54,035 --> 00:40:56,244 Hey, you know, Kara, you should drink some more water. 824 00:40:56,329 --> 00:40:57,871 Where's that bottle I gave you? 825 00:40:58,039 --> 00:40:59,956 Oh, it's right here. Okay. 826 00:41:00,124 --> 00:41:02,209 ln the back. 827 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:07,464 (HORN HONKS) (TIRES SQUEAL) 828 00:41:07,548 --> 00:41:11,218 Shit. Sorry. Sorry. There was a... (CLEARS THROAT) 829 00:41:11,302 --> 00:41:15,305 There was a little baby squirrel in the road, so... 830 00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:19,935 Whoa! Hey! Whoa! That's not water. Okay. 831 00:41:20,102 --> 00:41:23,438 It's a little too much now. 832 00:41:23,606 --> 00:41:27,400 I love how, after all these years, you're still taking care of me. 833 00:41:27,568 --> 00:41:30,529 Well, you know, a babysitter's job never ends. 834 00:41:30,613 --> 00:41:33,824 (GIGGLING) You knew I always had a crush on you, right? 835 00:41:33,908 --> 00:41:35,659 (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) 836 00:41:35,743 --> 00:41:37,077 (HESITANTLY) No. 837 00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,372 I want you to be my first. 838 00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:44,084 Your first? 839 00:41:44,252 --> 00:41:46,253 Oh, God. Okay. Um... 840 00:41:46,420 --> 00:41:48,463 Kara, listen. Um... 841 00:41:49,507 --> 00:41:53,969 A person's virginity is something sacred, you know? 842 00:41:54,136 --> 00:41:55,637 You should save yourself for someone special. 843 00:41:55,721 --> 00:41:56,763 You're special. 844 00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,308 No! Not special. 845 00:42:00,476 --> 00:42:02,602 You think? I really... 846 00:42:02,979 --> 00:42:04,604 What are you doing? 847 00:42:04,772 --> 00:42:05,856 Hey, what are you doing? 848 00:42:06,023 --> 00:42:08,525 Come on. No one will ever find out. 849 00:42:10,695 --> 00:42:13,405 I don't know. I don't think... 850 00:42:14,115 --> 00:42:15,824 I don't think I should do that. 851 00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:18,577 That's... No. I can't. I won't. I won't. 852 00:42:19,078 --> 00:42:20,078 So, you know... That's... 853 00:42:20,121 --> 00:42:22,372 Whoa! Hello! Okay, okay. (GIGGLING) 854 00:42:22,456 --> 00:42:25,834 Kara, Kara, that's kissing. Okay, Kara, you need to stop. Stop. Stop! 855 00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:29,629 You don't think I'm pretty? 856 00:42:29,755 --> 00:42:34,551 Huh? Oh, no! You're very pretty, Kara. You're very, very... 857 00:42:34,635 --> 00:42:36,386 Really? Yes, very pretty. 858 00:42:36,470 --> 00:42:37,888 But I... Very pretty. Thanks. 859 00:42:38,055 --> 00:42:39,472 Oh, my God! 860 00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,893 Holy shit! What? 861 00:42:43,144 --> 00:42:44,144 (GIGGLING) 862 00:42:44,228 --> 00:42:45,228 Oh, my... Where did your... 863 00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:46,313 Come on. 864 00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:48,815 I can't think of a better birthday gift. 865 00:42:48,983 --> 00:42:50,525 What about the new iPhone? 866 00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:52,569 Huh? Maybe a little pendant? The new Nicki Minaj album? 867 00:42:52,653 --> 00:42:54,738 No. No? Boobies. 868 00:42:54,864 --> 00:42:56,156 I want you! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 869 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:57,490 You can't... Don't do that. 870 00:42:57,575 --> 00:42:59,075 That's not good, don't... 871 00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:00,660 Come on, stop. (ENGINE REVVING) 872 00:43:00,828 --> 00:43:02,704 Kara! Kara! Stop it. 873 00:43:03,331 --> 00:43:04,456 Shit! 874 00:43:04,540 --> 00:43:06,207 (TIRES SCREECHING) 875 00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:07,834 Whoa! (HORN HONKS) 876 00:43:08,836 --> 00:43:10,003 Shit. Kara? 877 00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:12,172 Holy Jesus! Kara? 878 00:43:12,340 --> 00:43:14,716 Kara! Kara! Please wake up, Kara! 879 00:43:14,884 --> 00:43:16,551 Kara, wake up. Kara! 880 00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:17,719 Are you okay? 881 00:43:17,845 --> 00:43:18,929 Oh, Jesus, God! 882 00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:20,430 Oh, my God, are you all right? 883 00:43:21,057 --> 00:43:22,682 Hey, hi. 884 00:43:23,768 --> 00:43:25,852 Jim? Hey! 885 00:43:26,020 --> 00:43:28,563 What? This is crazy! 886 00:43:28,773 --> 00:43:30,148 Are you all right? 887 00:43:30,232 --> 00:43:33,693 Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm okay. I was just... Um... 888 00:43:33,861 --> 00:43:36,237 I was reaching for something. 889 00:43:36,405 --> 00:43:38,573 Everything's okay. Everything's fine. 890 00:43:39,116 --> 00:43:40,450 I don't know if you've heard. Mmm? 891 00:43:40,534 --> 00:43:41,534 Did you hear? 892 00:43:42,203 --> 00:43:44,788 I am in charge of the reunion. 893 00:43:44,956 --> 00:43:47,749 Oh! Yeah, no, that's... Yeah, that's right. 894 00:43:47,917 --> 00:43:49,376 Got a whole '90s theme planned. 895 00:43:49,543 --> 00:43:51,294 Oh. That's... 896 00:43:51,462 --> 00:43:53,254 I booked Chumbawamba. 897 00:43:53,339 --> 00:43:55,382 Yeah. But the pricks cancelled yesterday. 898 00:43:55,591 --> 00:43:58,385 Was a setback, but you know me, 899 00:43:58,594 --> 00:44:01,972 "I get knocked down but I get up again." (CHUCKLES) 900 00:44:02,473 --> 00:44:03,640 (CHUCKLES) 901 00:44:03,724 --> 00:44:04,849 (MOANS GROGGILY) 902 00:44:04,934 --> 00:44:07,143 Oh, my God! Okay, I see what's going on. 903 00:44:07,269 --> 00:44:11,272 (MOUTHING) 904 00:44:13,651 --> 00:44:14,818 Yep. 905 00:44:14,902 --> 00:44:16,027 I'll see you later, buddy. 906 00:44:16,195 --> 00:44:17,862 All right then, I'll see you. 907 00:44:20,366 --> 00:44:22,867 Jesus, God. Kara. Kara, wake up. 908 00:44:23,035 --> 00:44:25,036 I just need a nap. What? 909 00:44:25,204 --> 00:44:27,288 Kara, this isn't time for a nap. Kara, wake up. 910 00:44:27,456 --> 00:44:28,748 This isn't napping time. (SNORING) 911 00:44:29,208 --> 00:44:31,543 Kara? Shit. 912 00:44:36,632 --> 00:44:40,468 Oh, God, this is bad. This is very, very bad. 913 00:44:51,939 --> 00:44:53,273 What took you guys so long? 914 00:44:53,441 --> 00:44:55,483 We were looking for Kevin. Couldn't find him. 915 00:44:55,651 --> 00:44:59,112 Plus, that hot piece of ass Oz is banging got wasted, so we had to drop her off. 916 00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:00,280 You brought him? 917 00:45:00,364 --> 00:45:01,531 Of course they brought me. 918 00:45:01,657 --> 00:45:03,199 When you guys were busy jacking off in high school, 919 00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:05,243 I was running this drill every weekend. 920 00:45:05,411 --> 00:45:07,328 Now, let's see what we are dealing with. 921 00:45:09,915 --> 00:45:10,915 Oh! 922 00:45:11,250 --> 00:45:13,251 Holy shit! 923 00:45:13,419 --> 00:45:14,377 Way to go, Jim. 924 00:45:14,462 --> 00:45:17,630 Shh. Okay, nothing happened, Stifler. Okay? Nothing happened. 925 00:45:17,798 --> 00:45:18,798 Stop that! 926 00:45:19,008 --> 00:45:20,050 I'm sorry. 927 00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:21,551 So, Jim, what do you wanna do? 928 00:45:21,635 --> 00:45:22,886 I don't know. 929 00:45:22,970 --> 00:45:24,763 I can't just leave her here naked, you know? 930 00:45:24,930 --> 00:45:27,599 I mean, if the cops come by and find out I'm involved, 931 00:45:28,434 --> 00:45:29,601 I'm screwed. 932 00:45:29,769 --> 00:45:31,644 That leaves us with two options. 933 00:45:32,605 --> 00:45:34,272 We dump the body or we sneak her inside. 934 00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:36,441 Dump the body? This isn't a mob hit. 935 00:45:36,609 --> 00:45:37,817 Okay, wait a second. 936 00:45:37,985 --> 00:45:41,321 I have been in her house a million times to babysit. 937 00:45:41,489 --> 00:45:44,532 I can totally sneak her in through the back door. 938 00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:47,285 I need you guys to distract her parents. 939 00:45:47,453 --> 00:45:49,162 Do you think you can do that? (SCOFFS) 940 00:45:49,538 --> 00:45:53,625 I'm an expert, Jim. Trust me. I got this shit. 941 00:45:55,544 --> 00:45:56,920 (DOORBELL RINGS) 942 00:46:01,133 --> 00:46:02,675 Good evening, sir. 943 00:46:02,843 --> 00:46:04,677 My friend's car broke down, 944 00:46:04,845 --> 00:46:08,306 and we were just wondering if we could use your phone to call AAA. 945 00:46:09,141 --> 00:46:12,519 You mean to tell me that none of you have cell phones? 946 00:46:18,651 --> 00:46:19,818 (GASPS) 947 00:46:20,361 --> 00:46:23,530 Oh, my God, I know you. You were on Celebrity Dance Off. 948 00:46:23,697 --> 00:46:25,615 Oh, yeah! 949 00:46:25,699 --> 00:46:26,825 Ostreicher. 950 00:46:26,992 --> 00:46:28,201 Oh, yeah. 951 00:46:28,369 --> 00:46:29,494 Hey, come on in. 952 00:46:31,330 --> 00:46:32,914 That was very smooth, Stifler. 953 00:46:33,082 --> 00:46:34,332 Shut up, shitbreak. 954 00:46:34,500 --> 00:46:36,668 The last time I did this, cell phones didn't exist. 955 00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:40,046 (DOOR SHUTS) 956 00:46:51,142 --> 00:46:52,142 (GASPING) 957 00:46:52,226 --> 00:46:53,351 Shit! 958 00:46:59,358 --> 00:47:00,567 Daddy. 959 00:47:02,236 --> 00:47:03,278 Look, Mom, Daddy! 960 00:47:03,362 --> 00:47:04,362 Shit! 961 00:47:17,668 --> 00:47:18,918 (SIGHS) 962 00:47:19,003 --> 00:47:20,753 Oh, fuck! 963 00:47:21,839 --> 00:47:25,592 Kara? 964 00:47:26,427 --> 00:47:27,468 (KARA GIGGLES) 965 00:47:27,553 --> 00:47:28,595 Kara? 966 00:47:28,762 --> 00:47:30,972 KARA: Gonna have to find me. 967 00:47:31,056 --> 00:47:32,223 Kara? 968 00:47:32,308 --> 00:47:33,308 (RECORDED MESSAGE PLAYING) 969 00:47:33,392 --> 00:47:35,393 Thank you, Sheranda. You've been very helpful. 970 00:47:35,477 --> 00:47:37,896 You get a Triple A-plus in my book. 971 00:47:38,063 --> 00:47:41,107 Oh, you take care, too. Okay, yeah, bye-bye. 972 00:47:42,109 --> 00:47:46,487 So, that was AAA on the phone and they should be here in a jiffy. 973 00:47:47,406 --> 00:47:49,115 Does this song sound familiar? 974 00:47:49,199 --> 00:47:50,992 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 975 00:47:54,413 --> 00:47:57,081 You were such a good dancer. I felt so bad when you got voted off. 976 00:47:57,291 --> 00:47:58,333 Thank you. 977 00:47:58,500 --> 00:48:00,501 But I have to say you're much sexier in person. 978 00:48:00,711 --> 00:48:04,672 Okay. Calm down there, Susan. 979 00:48:05,466 --> 00:48:08,092 Dude, she wants to fuck you big time, dude. 980 00:48:08,260 --> 00:48:10,428 You got to hit that. No fucking way. 981 00:48:10,596 --> 00:48:11,846 Do it for Jim, dude, don't be selfish. 982 00:48:12,306 --> 00:48:15,141 Hey, you know what? I think I have to go to the bathroom. 983 00:48:16,018 --> 00:48:18,102 Kara, this is not funny. 984 00:48:18,312 --> 00:48:20,980 Kara, come on! Kara, come out. 985 00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:22,357 Boo! 986 00:48:22,524 --> 00:48:23,816 Oh, my God! 987 00:48:24,652 --> 00:48:26,611 Okay, hey, come on. 988 00:48:26,695 --> 00:48:29,280 Okay, one... Okay, all right... 989 00:48:29,448 --> 00:48:31,240 Come on. Okay, good. 990 00:48:31,408 --> 00:48:33,076 You never could find me. 991 00:48:33,243 --> 00:48:35,995 Jim, I don't mean to alarm you but you don't have much time. 992 00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:37,163 Yes, I know. 993 00:48:37,331 --> 00:48:38,623 I like your scarf. Okay. 994 00:48:38,791 --> 00:48:40,500 I like your breasts. Door. 995 00:48:40,668 --> 00:48:42,085 Would it be okay if I get a picture? 996 00:48:42,252 --> 00:48:43,252 Sure. 997 00:48:47,758 --> 00:48:49,342 I know it's in here somewhere. 998 00:48:49,426 --> 00:48:51,135 (MOUTHING) 999 00:48:53,472 --> 00:48:55,431 Okay, a bottle of hair spray... 1000 00:48:55,516 --> 00:48:56,599 You guys all right? 1001 00:48:56,684 --> 00:48:58,017 Yeah. Yeah. 1002 00:48:58,769 --> 00:48:59,852 You know something? 1003 00:49:00,020 --> 00:49:04,816 I really was admiring how clean your toilet was in your bathroom. 1004 00:49:05,359 --> 00:49:06,484 Thanks. 1005 00:49:07,152 --> 00:49:09,362 You know what? I have to use the restroom, too. 1006 00:49:09,530 --> 00:49:10,613 No, you don't. 1007 00:49:16,704 --> 00:49:17,704 (CLEARS THROAT) 1008 00:49:18,205 --> 00:49:19,330 Let's get in bed. (GIGGLING) 1009 00:49:19,498 --> 00:49:20,540 Come on and get in bed with me? 1010 00:49:20,624 --> 00:49:21,749 No, I'm not getting in bed... 1011 00:49:21,834 --> 00:49:22,875 Come on. Get in bed with me. 1012 00:49:23,002 --> 00:49:25,503 No, I'm not... Kara, please. Oh, God. Please. 1013 00:49:25,587 --> 00:49:26,587 Oh, shit! 1014 00:49:27,673 --> 00:49:28,965 Stifler, what are you doing here? 1015 00:49:29,133 --> 00:49:30,967 I just wanted another glimpse. No. 1016 00:49:31,135 --> 00:49:32,552 Why'd you put her clothes back on, dude? Boo. 1017 00:49:32,636 --> 00:49:33,845 You have to go. 1018 00:49:35,514 --> 00:49:36,723 What was that? 1019 00:49:36,849 --> 00:49:39,058 That sounded like it came from outside. 1020 00:49:39,226 --> 00:49:41,060 No, that came from Kara's room. 1021 00:49:41,228 --> 00:49:42,311 Oh, Jesus. 1022 00:49:42,396 --> 00:49:43,396 KARA'S DAD: Kara? 1023 00:49:45,441 --> 00:49:46,441 Oh, my God. 1024 00:49:48,193 --> 00:49:49,402 Go, go, go! 1025 00:49:56,702 --> 00:49:58,077 What the hell's going on in here? 1026 00:50:00,039 --> 00:50:01,330 Hi, Daddy. 1027 00:50:02,082 --> 00:50:03,124 How'd you get back in? 1028 00:50:04,209 --> 00:50:05,376 I don't remember. 1029 00:50:05,544 --> 00:50:07,003 You don't remember? 1030 00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:08,921 What was that sound? 1031 00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:09,964 I don't know. 1032 00:50:10,049 --> 00:50:11,132 What do you mean, you don't know? 1033 00:50:11,216 --> 00:50:12,216 I don't know. 1034 00:50:14,219 --> 00:50:15,553 You've been drinking, haven't you? 1035 00:50:15,721 --> 00:50:16,846 No. 1036 00:50:17,014 --> 00:50:19,807 Kara, I told you these boys try to get you drunk 1037 00:50:19,892 --> 00:50:21,517 so they can take advantage of you. 1038 00:50:21,602 --> 00:50:23,186 I'm old enough to know that, Dad. 1039 00:50:23,353 --> 00:50:24,937 Yeah, well, I don't want to go to jail 1040 00:50:25,022 --> 00:50:26,939 for kicking some horny kid's teeth in 1041 00:50:27,024 --> 00:50:28,775 but I will, believe me. 1042 00:50:28,859 --> 00:50:30,234 (COW MOOING) 1043 00:50:32,446 --> 00:50:33,571 What is that? 1044 00:50:33,739 --> 00:50:37,033 (LAUGHING) Oh, that's Mr. Moo! 1045 00:50:37,785 --> 00:50:40,578 Will you get him for me, Daddy? Please. 1046 00:50:53,342 --> 00:50:54,509 (MOOING) 1047 00:50:57,805 --> 00:50:59,931 I can't be mad at my angel. 1048 00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:08,106 Happy birthday, princess. 1049 00:51:08,315 --> 00:51:09,398 Thanks, Dad. 1050 00:51:09,483 --> 00:51:10,483 (DOOR SHUTS) 1051 00:51:10,567 --> 00:51:11,526 (EXHALES) 1052 00:51:11,610 --> 00:51:13,611 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 1053 00:51:14,905 --> 00:51:16,239 (GRUNTING) 1054 00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:19,992 What are you doing? 1055 00:51:20,786 --> 00:51:22,120 Nothing. 1056 00:51:25,707 --> 00:51:26,999 Oh, jeez. 1057 00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:30,294 (WHISPERING) Stifler? 1058 00:51:31,463 --> 00:51:32,547 Stifler? 1059 00:51:32,631 --> 00:51:33,673 Up here, dude. 1060 00:51:35,134 --> 00:51:36,467 I told you I was an expert. 1061 00:51:37,636 --> 00:51:38,845 Oh, shit. 1062 00:51:39,513 --> 00:51:41,139 What the hell is going on now? 1063 00:51:44,059 --> 00:51:45,226 Hey. 1064 00:51:45,310 --> 00:51:47,186 Want to go to a Justin Bieber concert? 1065 00:51:47,271 --> 00:51:48,688 Uh... Jim? 1066 00:51:48,981 --> 00:51:50,356 Stifler, come on. Come on! 1067 00:51:50,524 --> 00:51:51,816 Let's go. 1068 00:51:52,943 --> 00:51:55,695 You and you, stay here. 1069 00:51:56,196 --> 00:51:57,405 Don't push me. 1070 00:51:58,699 --> 00:52:00,157 Whoa! Oh, my God. 1071 00:52:03,161 --> 00:52:04,203 Ah! 1072 00:52:04,288 --> 00:52:05,621 AJ: Kara, where the hell are you? 1073 00:52:05,706 --> 00:52:07,498 I'm on my way to your place and... 1074 00:52:10,836 --> 00:52:12,211 What the... 1075 00:52:12,296 --> 00:52:13,337 Fuck! 1076 00:52:17,259 --> 00:52:18,593 (WHOOPING) 1077 00:52:18,677 --> 00:52:20,469 What the hell is going on? 1078 00:52:21,388 --> 00:52:23,014 Oh, God! 1079 00:52:25,183 --> 00:52:26,350 (YAWNS) 1080 00:52:35,152 --> 00:52:37,528 Hey, stud. 1081 00:52:37,696 --> 00:52:39,530 I thought you'd never... 1082 00:52:39,698 --> 00:52:41,532 (SNORING) 1083 00:52:45,495 --> 00:52:46,704 (FARTS) 1084 00:52:47,664 --> 00:52:48,873 (SIGHS) 1085 00:53:00,636 --> 00:53:04,805 Oh, shit, shit. We were supposed to... 1086 00:53:04,932 --> 00:53:05,973 No, it's fine. 1087 00:53:06,058 --> 00:53:08,059 What? No, God, it's not fine. 1088 00:53:09,102 --> 00:53:12,104 Shoot! I'm so sorry, Michelle. I really... I wanted to, I just... 1089 00:53:12,272 --> 00:53:14,315 I'm going to drop Ev at my grandma's 1090 00:53:14,399 --> 00:53:16,400 and I'll be back this afternoon. 1091 00:53:16,568 --> 00:53:18,527 No, Michelle, hold on. 1092 00:53:22,407 --> 00:53:23,866 Jim, I'm worried. 1093 00:53:24,952 --> 00:53:26,535 What are you worried about? 1094 00:53:26,703 --> 00:53:30,539 Just we're like so out of sync. 1095 00:53:32,626 --> 00:53:34,251 I just... 1096 00:53:34,419 --> 00:53:36,921 I don't know how much longer we can go on like this. 1097 00:53:39,424 --> 00:53:43,636 I promise you I will do everything I can to make it up to you. 1098 00:53:43,971 --> 00:53:45,262 Okay? 1099 00:53:45,430 --> 00:53:47,056 Stifler's having a party tonight. 1100 00:53:48,225 --> 00:53:52,687 Okay, I know that doesn't sound romantic or anything, 1101 00:53:52,771 --> 00:53:58,275 but remember our first time was at a Stifler party. 1102 00:53:58,443 --> 00:53:59,986 You made me your bitch. 1103 00:54:02,614 --> 00:54:04,991 Yes. Yes, I did. 1104 00:54:24,511 --> 00:54:26,012 Tell me when, okay? 1105 00:54:26,346 --> 00:54:27,596 What the fuck? 1106 00:54:27,681 --> 00:54:28,889 (GASPS) 1107 00:54:36,982 --> 00:54:38,315 WOMAN: Mmm. 1108 00:54:43,321 --> 00:54:44,613 (MOUTHS) 1109 00:54:55,167 --> 00:54:57,460 So, Mia. 1110 00:54:58,462 --> 00:55:01,505 She's a free spirit. 1111 00:55:01,673 --> 00:55:03,174 She's something else. 1112 00:55:03,341 --> 00:55:04,842 Yeah, she is. 1113 00:55:06,887 --> 00:55:09,680 Wait a minute, do I sense a little jealousy there? 1114 00:55:09,848 --> 00:55:11,348 No. Mmm-mmm. No? 1115 00:55:11,516 --> 00:55:13,768 Hey, don't forget, you were the one who broke up with me 1116 00:55:13,852 --> 00:55:15,144 before you went to med school. 1117 00:55:15,228 --> 00:55:19,398 Hey, you were moving to LA with no return in sight. 1118 00:55:19,566 --> 00:55:22,026 You can't blame me for wanting to settle down. 1119 00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:24,528 No, I don't. 1120 00:55:25,363 --> 00:55:28,115 I just don't want you to settle. 1121 00:55:28,742 --> 00:55:30,910 Look who's jealous now. 1122 00:55:31,078 --> 00:55:33,871 I wouldn't call being with Ron "settling." 1123 00:55:34,039 --> 00:55:36,540 Oh, no, he's gorgeous on paper. 1124 00:55:36,917 --> 00:55:38,334 What is that supposed to mean? 1125 00:55:38,710 --> 00:55:40,419 Nothing. Um... 1126 00:55:41,588 --> 00:55:44,673 I'm sorry. You're right. 1127 00:55:46,384 --> 00:55:48,052 I am a bit jealous. 1128 00:55:49,888 --> 00:55:51,222 You know, it's funny. 1129 00:55:52,182 --> 00:55:55,726 ln some ways, you've completely changed, 1130 00:55:55,894 --> 00:55:58,854 and, in other ways, you're exactly the same. 1131 00:55:59,022 --> 00:56:01,065 Heather, you can believe this, 1132 00:56:01,233 --> 00:56:02,733 nothing's changed. 1133 00:56:05,195 --> 00:56:06,237 Oh, my God. 1134 00:56:06,404 --> 00:56:08,030 Chris Ostreicher? 1135 00:56:08,573 --> 00:56:09,740 Hi, girls. 1136 00:56:09,825 --> 00:56:10,950 Can I get a pic? 1137 00:56:11,118 --> 00:56:12,201 Sure. 1138 00:56:17,874 --> 00:56:18,916 Dad? 1139 00:56:20,627 --> 00:56:21,919 Oh, hey, Dad. Hey, Jim. 1140 00:56:22,087 --> 00:56:23,712 I'm just going to run out for a sec. 1141 00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:26,715 I was just watching your old Bar Mitzvah tape. 1142 00:56:28,593 --> 00:56:30,136 (LAUGHING) I got your Jew scarf! 1143 00:56:30,303 --> 00:56:31,929 YOUNG JIM: Give it back, Stifler. 1144 00:56:32,055 --> 00:56:33,264 (LAUGHS) 1145 00:56:34,724 --> 00:56:40,146 I think I'm the happiest man in the world thanks to you. 1146 00:56:45,735 --> 00:56:47,653 Yeah, I miss her too, Dad. 1147 00:56:49,656 --> 00:56:50,823 I know. 1148 00:56:53,034 --> 00:56:54,577 (SIGHS) (CLEARS THROAT) 1149 00:56:59,166 --> 00:57:03,127 Dad, you've always been there to give me advice. 1150 00:57:03,461 --> 00:57:07,131 But if there's anything that you want to talk about, 1151 00:57:08,466 --> 00:57:09,967 I'm here for you. 1152 00:57:11,511 --> 00:57:13,971 Yeah, I don't think there's anything 1153 00:57:14,055 --> 00:57:16,473 I really need to talk about, Jim. 1154 00:57:17,434 --> 00:57:20,477 Do you think maybe it's time for you to 1155 00:57:20,937 --> 00:57:22,313 meet someone else? 1156 00:57:23,481 --> 00:57:25,524 Dad, it's okay. 1157 00:57:25,692 --> 00:57:29,820 What you're going through is perfectly natural. 1158 00:57:30,739 --> 00:57:33,532 You know, there are services out there... 1159 00:57:33,700 --> 00:57:34,742 Services? Yeah. 1160 00:57:34,826 --> 00:57:36,035 Like what? 1161 00:57:36,203 --> 00:57:37,995 A happy ending? What's that? 1162 00:57:38,163 --> 00:57:39,205 Because I won't go there. 1163 00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:40,289 Oh, my God. 1164 00:57:40,415 --> 00:57:42,416 I don't need that... I don't need that kind of massage, Jim. 1165 00:57:42,500 --> 00:57:43,584 That's not what I was... 1166 00:57:43,668 --> 00:57:45,252 Because, you know what, it's dangerous. 1167 00:57:45,337 --> 00:57:46,795 And you can pick things up. 1168 00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:48,756 You don't even wanna know what you can pick up. 1169 00:57:48,924 --> 00:57:50,424 Talk to your uncle Mort. I'd rather not. 1170 00:57:50,508 --> 00:57:51,717 He was in the hospital for two weeks. 1171 00:57:51,801 --> 00:57:53,260 That's disgusting. 1172 00:57:56,514 --> 00:57:59,016 I was talking about (CLEARS THROAT) 1173 00:57:59,726 --> 00:58:01,310 online dating services. 1174 00:58:01,603 --> 00:58:02,603 (CHUCKLING) 1175 00:58:03,021 --> 00:58:04,063 No, Jim. 1176 00:58:04,231 --> 00:58:07,274 Yeah, right, at my age? I don't think so. 1177 00:58:07,442 --> 00:58:09,443 I've been out of the game for so long. 1178 00:58:09,527 --> 00:58:11,028 There wasn't even a game back then. 1179 00:58:11,112 --> 00:58:15,115 Dad, don't worry. I'll hook you up. 1180 00:58:20,372 --> 00:58:21,664 JIM: Do you have those photos? 1181 00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:23,624 Here you go. 1182 00:58:23,959 --> 00:58:24,959 Wow. 1183 00:58:25,043 --> 00:58:26,210 Yeah. Oh. 1184 00:58:26,378 --> 00:58:27,628 We might need something a little more recent. 1185 00:58:27,712 --> 00:58:28,712 Do you think? 1186 00:58:30,382 --> 00:58:33,467 Do you have something that's a bit sexier? 1187 00:58:34,302 --> 00:58:35,511 Gotcha. 1188 00:58:39,599 --> 00:58:40,599 Did you... 1189 00:58:41,226 --> 00:58:42,434 (CLEARS THROAT) Favorite music. 1190 00:58:42,727 --> 00:58:43,727 Um... 1191 00:58:43,979 --> 00:58:45,354 Herman's Hermits. 1192 00:58:45,730 --> 00:58:46,730 Okay. 1193 00:58:47,565 --> 00:58:48,524 Oh... 1194 00:58:48,608 --> 00:58:51,568 Girls, one at a time, please. 1195 00:58:51,903 --> 00:58:53,070 JIM: Interests and hobbies. 1196 00:58:53,238 --> 00:58:54,321 Sudoku. 1197 00:58:54,489 --> 00:58:55,572 We'll come back to this one. 1198 00:59:02,497 --> 00:59:04,498 LEVENSTEIN: Are we sure we're not taking off too much? 1199 00:59:04,666 --> 00:59:07,376 These caterpillars are kind of my trademark. 1200 00:59:07,711 --> 00:59:08,711 (LEVENSTEIN GRUNTS) 1201 00:59:09,254 --> 00:59:11,922 Okay... Perfect. 1202 00:59:12,090 --> 00:59:14,508 Take a look. I'm nervous. 1203 00:59:18,430 --> 00:59:21,432 Oh, that's fantastic! 1204 00:59:21,599 --> 00:59:24,601 That is a great look for me! 1205 00:59:24,853 --> 00:59:25,853 Huh? 1206 00:59:25,937 --> 00:59:29,565 Leaner lines. I still have mobility. 1207 00:59:30,567 --> 00:59:32,526 Why didn't I do this 30 years ago? 1208 00:59:32,610 --> 00:59:33,610 Looking good. 1209 00:59:33,778 --> 00:59:35,738 Why don't we test this new look out tonight? 1210 00:59:36,072 --> 00:59:37,072 Oh, um... 1211 00:59:37,449 --> 00:59:40,826 The thing is, Stifler is throwing a party tonight. 1212 00:59:41,119 --> 00:59:42,953 Oh! Well, another time. 1213 00:59:43,121 --> 00:59:45,331 But you could come with us. 1214 00:59:45,790 --> 00:59:47,124 lt would be nice to get out of the house. 1215 00:59:47,292 --> 00:59:48,834 I do have to warn you, though, 1216 00:59:49,002 --> 00:59:52,254 Stifler's parties can get a little 1217 00:59:52,422 --> 00:59:53,589 wild. 1218 00:59:54,632 --> 00:59:56,633 (BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING) 1219 00:59:58,428 --> 00:59:59,845 (INDISTINCT) 1220 01:00:05,810 --> 01:00:09,188 What the fuck is this? 1221 01:00:10,023 --> 01:00:12,024 Who the hell changed the music? 1222 01:00:12,192 --> 01:00:14,485 Sorry, we thought this was more baby-friendly. 1223 01:00:14,652 --> 01:00:17,446 Didn't we? Yes, we did. 1224 01:00:17,614 --> 01:00:19,323 Stifmeister! 1225 01:00:19,574 --> 01:00:21,533 (BOTH EXCLAIMING) 1226 01:00:21,993 --> 01:00:23,118 (SPITS) Oh! 1227 01:00:23,203 --> 01:00:24,203 Bluck! 1228 01:00:24,621 --> 01:00:25,829 Chester! 1229 01:00:28,917 --> 01:00:30,626 What have you cock-smokers been up to? 1230 01:00:30,794 --> 01:00:33,087 Well, we just got engaged. Yeah. 1231 01:00:33,254 --> 01:00:35,756 What? That's so fucking gay. 1232 01:00:37,634 --> 01:00:39,885 Yeah, Stifler, we are gay. 1233 01:00:40,386 --> 01:00:41,804 Half the lacrosse team was gay. 1234 01:00:41,888 --> 01:00:44,014 You must have known that, right? 1235 01:00:44,140 --> 01:00:46,683 Dude, you walked in on Doug and Barry in the shower. 1236 01:00:48,019 --> 01:00:49,728 I just thought they were wrestling. 1237 01:00:50,230 --> 01:00:51,230 They were. 1238 01:00:51,314 --> 01:00:52,815 Yeah, they definitely were. 1239 01:00:52,899 --> 01:00:55,025 There just wasn't a loser that night. 1240 01:00:56,486 --> 01:00:57,486 Oh. 1241 01:01:01,866 --> 01:01:03,909 Are we sure this is Stifler's? 1242 01:01:04,494 --> 01:01:05,494 Ooh! 1243 01:01:05,578 --> 01:01:06,912 Hors d'oeuvres! 1244 01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:08,664 Why don't you give this to our host, son? 1245 01:01:10,708 --> 01:01:11,708 Hmm. 1246 01:01:12,377 --> 01:01:14,711 Oh, my God! Look who it is. 1247 01:01:14,796 --> 01:01:15,921 Hey. 1248 01:01:18,007 --> 01:01:19,424 Sorry for interrupting you guys last night. 1249 01:01:19,926 --> 01:01:21,760 Bravo, by the way. 1250 01:01:21,928 --> 01:01:24,680 Most wives stop doing that after they get the ring. 1251 01:01:24,848 --> 01:01:26,682 What are you talking about? Did you change your hair color? 1252 01:01:26,850 --> 01:01:32,229 So, is your buddy, the other MILF guy, here tonight? 1253 01:01:32,397 --> 01:01:34,189 I thought you always come to these things together. 1254 01:01:35,066 --> 01:01:39,069 Let's just say that friendship is a two-way street. 1255 01:01:40,613 --> 01:01:42,114 Excuse me. 1256 01:01:44,284 --> 01:01:45,284 Mmm. 1257 01:01:45,577 --> 01:01:47,452 Could this party get any lamer? 1258 01:01:48,454 --> 01:01:50,080 It's not so bad. 1259 01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:53,250 You want some E? 1260 01:01:53,418 --> 01:01:55,127 No. Why do you have that? 1261 01:01:55,587 --> 01:01:57,963 No one else here probably has any. 1262 01:01:58,131 --> 01:01:59,131 Are you sure you don't want one? 1263 01:01:59,299 --> 01:02:00,299 Yeah. 1264 01:02:00,466 --> 01:02:01,592 No... Yes. 1265 01:02:01,676 --> 01:02:02,676 No. 1266 01:02:02,802 --> 01:02:04,970 Okay. Fine. More for me, then. 1267 01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:11,852 And there they are. 1268 01:02:12,020 --> 01:02:13,187 JIM: Finchy. 1269 01:02:14,230 --> 01:02:17,733 There you guys are. Look around. Can you believe this shit? 1270 01:02:17,901 --> 01:02:19,693 Yeah, man. Nice work. 1271 01:02:19,861 --> 01:02:21,278 For you. 1272 01:02:21,362 --> 01:02:23,113 What the hell am I supposed to do with this? 1273 01:02:23,281 --> 01:02:24,740 That's called wine, Stifler. 1274 01:02:24,908 --> 01:02:26,533 No, no, no, no, not at my party. 1275 01:02:26,618 --> 01:02:27,910 I'm going to get us some shots. 1276 01:02:29,329 --> 01:02:30,370 Hey, Kev. 1277 01:02:30,455 --> 01:02:32,039 Can I talk to you guys for a sec? 1278 01:02:32,373 --> 01:02:34,374 Yeah, sure. Wait here, I'll be right back. 1279 01:02:36,544 --> 01:02:38,086 So, you brought the goods? 1280 01:02:38,296 --> 01:02:39,546 Right here. 1281 01:02:39,714 --> 01:02:41,256 I want to see. 1282 01:02:43,718 --> 01:02:46,720 What the... Where did those fuckers go? 1283 01:02:47,055 --> 01:02:48,055 Hello, Steven. 1284 01:02:48,598 --> 01:02:50,390 Mr. Levenstein. Yes. 1285 01:02:50,475 --> 01:02:51,558 You made it. 1286 01:02:51,726 --> 01:02:54,353 lt is so great to see all you kids back in town. 1287 01:02:54,437 --> 01:02:55,479 Hmm. 1288 01:02:55,563 --> 01:02:58,941 And what a terrific soiree you're throwing here tonight. 1289 01:02:59,108 --> 01:03:00,943 Just wonderful! 1290 01:03:01,110 --> 01:03:04,780 You know what? I'm going to get you fucked up. 1291 01:03:04,864 --> 01:03:06,156 Hmm? Have a shot. 1292 01:03:06,324 --> 01:03:07,908 Oh! No, no, no. 1293 01:03:08,076 --> 01:03:11,453 I don't think so, Steven. I'm not much of a drinker. 1294 01:03:11,621 --> 01:03:13,580 Drink it. Drink it! Drink it! No, I can't. 1295 01:03:13,748 --> 01:03:15,165 Drink it! Drink it! 1296 01:03:17,252 --> 01:03:18,335 Awesome! Let's do another one. 1297 01:03:18,419 --> 01:03:19,586 (STRAINED) I don't think so. 1298 01:03:19,671 --> 01:03:22,005 Look, Kev, you don't know for sure if anything happened. 1299 01:03:22,090 --> 01:03:25,425 I woke up next to her in bed, and all our clothes were off. 1300 01:03:25,593 --> 01:03:28,262 I mean, whatever happened, I feel guilty. 1301 01:03:28,429 --> 01:03:30,097 Kevin, in France, 1302 01:03:30,265 --> 01:03:33,934 it's only considered cheating if your wife catches you in the act. 1303 01:03:36,104 --> 01:03:37,104 (LAUGHING) 1304 01:03:37,313 --> 01:03:38,313 She's here. 1305 01:03:40,608 --> 01:03:42,025 I gotta go. 1306 01:03:42,318 --> 01:03:43,944 All right, get ready. 1307 01:03:44,112 --> 01:03:46,571 Wait for it. Wait for it! 1308 01:03:46,656 --> 01:03:47,698 Wait for it! 1309 01:03:47,782 --> 01:03:49,324 Here she comes! 1310 01:03:49,742 --> 01:03:50,784 Yeah! 1311 01:03:50,868 --> 01:03:52,619 Fuck yeah, Mr. Levenstein! 1312 01:03:52,787 --> 01:03:54,913 The name is Noah, motherfucker. 1313 01:03:54,998 --> 01:03:56,498 (ALL CHEERING) 1314 01:03:58,126 --> 01:03:59,126 Mmm. 1315 01:03:59,294 --> 01:04:00,627 Feel the sofa. 1316 01:04:00,795 --> 01:04:03,463 It's so smooth. 1317 01:04:03,965 --> 01:04:06,800 lt feels like a Smurf's ass. 1318 01:04:06,968 --> 01:04:08,302 Did you feel it? 1319 01:04:08,469 --> 01:04:11,513 Okay. Mia, can you... 1320 01:04:13,016 --> 01:04:14,975 Hey, guys. Sorry we're late. 1321 01:04:15,184 --> 01:04:16,184 Hi. 1322 01:04:17,228 --> 01:04:20,314 Hey, I got a treat for everybody. I picked something up. 1323 01:04:20,481 --> 01:04:23,150 Celebrity Dance Off, Season Six. My man, Chris Ostreicher. 1324 01:04:23,234 --> 01:04:24,234 Oh, my God. 1325 01:04:26,863 --> 01:04:28,864 We have to watch this. 1326 01:04:29,032 --> 01:04:31,700 Who wants to see my baby shake his booty? 1327 01:04:31,826 --> 01:04:33,243 (ALL CLAMORING IN AGREEMENT) 1328 01:04:33,328 --> 01:04:34,786 I know I do. 1329 01:04:34,954 --> 01:04:37,289 JDate? You have to be kidding me. 1330 01:04:37,457 --> 01:04:40,709 If you want quality vag, you have to go out into the wild. 1331 01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:42,127 "Vag"? 1332 01:04:43,004 --> 01:04:44,838 What is that, a half a vagina? 1333 01:04:46,299 --> 01:04:49,176 You know, in my day we called it a beaver. 1334 01:04:49,344 --> 01:04:53,180 And let me tell you something, I snagged a pelt or two. 1335 01:04:53,348 --> 01:04:54,389 I bet you did. 1336 01:04:54,515 --> 01:04:55,515 Dad? 1337 01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:58,018 Hey, Jim, your dad is so much cooler than you. 1338 01:04:58,102 --> 01:04:59,770 Stifler, please stop getting my dad drunk. 1339 01:04:59,854 --> 01:05:02,189 No, he's just trying to get me some vag. 1340 01:05:02,273 --> 01:05:03,273 Okay, come on. 1341 01:05:03,358 --> 01:05:05,025 Yeah! Hey, hey. 1342 01:05:05,193 --> 01:05:06,860 Let the man make his own decisions. 1343 01:05:07,028 --> 01:05:08,070 Stop. Come on. 1344 01:05:08,154 --> 01:05:09,154 Don't listen to him. 1345 01:05:09,822 --> 01:05:12,157 I want you to dust off that old dick of yours, 1346 01:05:12,325 --> 01:05:14,326 go out there, and get some ass. 1347 01:05:14,494 --> 01:05:15,660 Oh! Just go out there. 1348 01:05:15,745 --> 01:05:16,870 I think I will. 1349 01:05:17,038 --> 01:05:19,831 Dad, stop, okay? It's exactly what I'm gonna... 1350 01:05:19,916 --> 01:05:22,584 I'm sorry, but you have had a little too much to drink tonight, 1351 01:05:22,710 --> 01:05:23,960 and I'm not letting you... No, no. 1352 01:05:24,045 --> 01:05:27,422 No, son, I haven't hardly had one drink. 1353 01:05:27,590 --> 01:05:29,883 And you know I love you. 1354 01:05:30,051 --> 01:05:34,262 I do love you, but you need to 1355 01:05:34,597 --> 01:05:35,597 (BURPS) 1356 01:05:35,681 --> 01:05:36,681 chillax. 1357 01:05:37,266 --> 01:05:39,351 "Chillax"? Dad, where are you going? 1358 01:05:39,435 --> 01:05:40,894 Do you see him? Jim! Jim! 1359 01:05:41,062 --> 01:05:42,729 Let him go. Let him have some fun. 1360 01:05:42,814 --> 01:05:43,814 (SIGHS) 1361 01:05:43,898 --> 01:05:47,567 And now we can have some fun. 1362 01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:49,778 Come on. 1363 01:05:51,572 --> 01:05:53,031 Excuse me. 1364 01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:55,075 I'm sorry, excuse me. 1365 01:05:55,243 --> 01:05:56,326 ls this a washroom? 1366 01:05:57,787 --> 01:05:59,830 lt doesn't even occur to you that you're self-centered 1367 01:05:59,914 --> 01:06:02,833 because you are so self-centered and... 1368 01:06:02,917 --> 01:06:04,793 You know what? Hold on a second. 1369 01:06:06,754 --> 01:06:07,879 Can I help you? 1370 01:06:09,423 --> 01:06:10,799 Who might you be? 1371 01:06:10,967 --> 01:06:12,592 I'm Stifler's mom. 1372 01:06:13,094 --> 01:06:14,094 Oh. 1373 01:06:14,637 --> 01:06:16,429 I'm Jim's dad. 1374 01:06:17,765 --> 01:06:19,266 Later, fucker. 1375 01:06:21,936 --> 01:06:24,354 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 1376 01:06:38,119 --> 01:06:41,246 Oh, my God, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. 1377 01:06:44,417 --> 01:06:45,375 (SHOUTING) 1378 01:06:45,459 --> 01:06:46,459 (ALL CHEERING) 1379 01:06:48,713 --> 01:06:50,589 Dude, you have an amazing body! 1380 01:06:50,673 --> 01:06:55,135 Everybody, raise the roof for Chris Ostreicher! 1381 01:06:55,219 --> 01:06:57,220 You have really been bringing it all season long. 1382 01:06:57,305 --> 01:07:01,808 But now it's time, Chris, to see if America thinks you done brought it. 1383 01:07:02,476 --> 01:07:03,894 You ready? Let's do it. 1384 01:07:03,978 --> 01:07:04,978 Let's see the results. 1385 01:07:09,817 --> 01:07:11,026 (AUDIENCE EXCLAIM IN DISAPPOINTMENT) 1386 01:07:11,110 --> 01:07:13,820 What? Gilbert Gottfried and not you? 1387 01:07:13,988 --> 01:07:15,113 Fucking bullshit! 1388 01:07:15,281 --> 01:07:17,407 Chris, I'm so sorry, man. 1389 01:07:17,575 --> 01:07:22,162 Well, we saw you jam. Now, it's time to scram. 1390 01:07:23,122 --> 01:07:24,414 Do you have any last thoughts for the audience? 1391 01:07:24,582 --> 01:07:27,083 Okay, guys, we can probably end it there. 1392 01:07:27,251 --> 01:07:29,502 What? No, are you kidding? I haven't seen this. 1393 01:07:29,670 --> 01:07:32,005 I think what I've learned is to be true 1394 01:07:32,089 --> 01:07:33,173 to myself, 1395 01:07:33,341 --> 01:07:36,343 because that's what dancing is, it's truth. 1396 01:07:36,510 --> 01:07:38,595 And maybe, 1397 01:07:38,846 --> 01:07:42,015 if we just danced a little bit more, 1398 01:07:42,183 --> 01:07:45,560 there would be no more wars. 1399 01:07:46,270 --> 01:07:47,354 (SNICKERING) 1400 01:07:47,438 --> 01:07:48,855 No more war! 1401 01:07:48,940 --> 01:07:51,233 Well, that is a thoughtful take on foreign policy. 1402 01:07:52,735 --> 01:07:55,237 HOST: Stick around. Hulk Hogan gets jiggy-friggy, right after this. 1403 01:07:55,404 --> 01:07:56,696 You don't want to miss this. Stick around. 1404 01:07:58,824 --> 01:08:00,116 (SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION) 1405 01:08:05,581 --> 01:08:06,748 Hey. 1406 01:08:07,124 --> 01:08:09,209 If you want my opinion, I think you got cheated. 1407 01:08:11,295 --> 01:08:12,462 Are you okay? 1408 01:08:13,381 --> 01:08:15,048 You know, 1409 01:08:15,800 --> 01:08:18,802 when you lose something that's important to you, it doesn't feel very good. 1410 01:08:19,428 --> 01:08:21,638 Oz, it's just a show. 1411 01:08:22,265 --> 01:08:24,808 I'm not talking about the show. 1412 01:08:32,024 --> 01:08:33,900 RON: Hey, Heather, you down there? 1413 01:08:34,527 --> 01:08:35,986 Um, coming! 1414 01:08:37,029 --> 01:08:38,405 Oh, my God. 1415 01:08:38,572 --> 01:08:39,864 Wait here, I'll be right back. 1416 01:08:41,534 --> 01:08:43,702 I can't tell you how many times I walked into Steven's room 1417 01:08:43,869 --> 01:08:46,705 and I caught him in the middle of sex with some girl. 1418 01:08:46,872 --> 01:08:49,666 At least he was with a real, live human girl. 1419 01:08:49,834 --> 01:08:51,042 What are you talking about? 1420 01:08:51,127 --> 01:08:55,255 I walked into the kitchen once, and I saw Jim humping a pie. 1421 01:08:57,341 --> 01:09:00,969 He turned the damn thing into a crumble in about two seconds. 1422 01:09:05,683 --> 01:09:07,267 I can top that. 1423 01:09:07,435 --> 01:09:08,643 I once walked into my bedroom 1424 01:09:08,728 --> 01:09:12,105 and I caught Steven sticking my hairbrush up his ass. 1425 01:09:15,860 --> 01:09:18,028 No, and it wasn't the handle side, either. 1426 01:09:21,574 --> 01:09:22,574 Oh! 1427 01:09:23,951 --> 01:09:26,286 No, no, no. 1428 01:09:27,788 --> 01:09:32,208 A pretty lady like you shouldn't be drinking quite so much. 1429 01:09:33,002 --> 01:09:34,336 And neither should I. 1430 01:09:40,968 --> 01:09:42,302 How about a joint, then? 1431 01:09:45,348 --> 01:09:49,476 We don't have to wait 13 years to see each other again. 1432 01:09:49,643 --> 01:09:51,227 Yeah, true. 1433 01:09:51,395 --> 01:09:55,357 And I guess I could come along on one of your adventures. 1434 01:09:55,524 --> 01:09:58,401 Am I good sidekick material? 1435 01:09:58,486 --> 01:09:59,527 Sidekick? 1436 01:09:59,612 --> 01:10:04,574 I think you are a lot more than sidekick material. 1437 01:10:10,331 --> 01:10:12,165 ls everything okay? 1438 01:10:14,835 --> 01:10:16,836 It's better than ever. 1439 01:10:19,673 --> 01:10:20,715 Mmm. Mmm. 1440 01:10:20,800 --> 01:10:22,133 Okay, wait, wait. 1441 01:10:22,301 --> 01:10:26,137 I don't think we're dressed appropriately for the occasion. 1442 01:10:26,305 --> 01:10:27,847 Put that on. 1443 01:10:28,015 --> 01:10:29,349 Wait, where are you going? 1444 01:10:29,433 --> 01:10:32,352 To change. Be back soon. 1445 01:10:42,863 --> 01:10:44,072 Dudes! 1446 01:10:45,866 --> 01:10:47,450 BOTH: What's up, bro? 1447 01:10:48,411 --> 01:10:50,370 WOMAN: Big Stiffy? 1448 01:10:50,538 --> 01:10:52,622 Blowjob Lipstein. 1449 01:10:55,584 --> 01:10:58,378 Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me! 1450 01:10:58,587 --> 01:10:59,712 Excuse me? 1451 01:11:06,429 --> 01:11:07,470 Okay. 1452 01:11:08,097 --> 01:11:11,266 What the hell are you doing? You just expect me to blow you? 1453 01:11:11,350 --> 01:11:12,392 Yeah! 1454 01:11:12,560 --> 01:11:13,935 I'm out of here. 1455 01:11:14,103 --> 01:11:15,603 Wait. Wait, wait! 1456 01:11:15,771 --> 01:11:17,230 Look, I get it. 1457 01:11:17,398 --> 01:11:19,065 You're self-conscious about your body. 1458 01:11:19,775 --> 01:11:22,610 Don't worry. I was going to shut the lights off anyway. 1459 01:11:22,778 --> 01:11:25,405 You are the same douchebag that you were in high school. 1460 01:11:25,906 --> 01:11:29,617 You just expect me to do everything while I get nothing? 1461 01:11:29,785 --> 01:11:30,785 Later. 1462 01:11:30,870 --> 01:11:32,078 No, no! 1463 01:11:34,582 --> 01:11:35,790 (SIGHS) 1464 01:11:36,250 --> 01:11:38,126 Let's make a deal. 1465 01:11:39,420 --> 01:11:42,797 I'll get you off, you get me off. 1466 01:11:42,965 --> 01:11:44,841 What do you say? 1467 01:11:45,176 --> 01:11:46,426 Fine. 1468 01:11:47,094 --> 01:11:48,928 But I am putting you to work. 1469 01:11:49,305 --> 01:11:50,680 Holy shit. 1470 01:11:51,849 --> 01:11:53,600 Chow time! 1471 01:11:53,767 --> 01:11:54,809 (GROANS) 1472 01:11:57,021 --> 01:11:58,897 (SIGHS) There you are! 1473 01:11:58,981 --> 01:12:01,774 I've been looking all over for you. 1474 01:12:01,942 --> 01:12:04,527 Listen, we really need to... 1475 01:12:06,280 --> 01:12:07,780 What are you doing? 1476 01:12:07,948 --> 01:12:09,365 Taking what's mine. 1477 01:12:09,742 --> 01:12:11,075 (GROANING) 1478 01:12:11,952 --> 01:12:14,621 No, I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice. 1479 01:12:14,914 --> 01:12:17,457 Aw, is everything okay? You seem stressed. 1480 01:12:17,875 --> 01:12:19,500 Stressed? 1481 01:12:21,337 --> 01:12:23,129 There you are! 1482 01:12:24,632 --> 01:12:26,674 No, no, no. 1483 01:12:26,842 --> 01:12:30,553 I have to go right now, but I'll call you back in a little bit. 1484 01:12:30,721 --> 01:12:33,973 Okay. And don't worry, I won't watch Gossip Girl without you. 1485 01:12:34,099 --> 01:12:35,058 I miss you, babe. 1486 01:12:35,142 --> 01:12:36,559 I miss you, too. 1487 01:12:39,980 --> 01:12:43,483 Listen, Vicky, about last night, 1488 01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:45,652 that wasn't me. 1489 01:12:45,819 --> 01:12:47,904 With what happened... 1490 01:12:48,572 --> 01:12:51,157 I don't know. lt might be normal in your world. 1491 01:12:51,325 --> 01:12:53,076 What do you think happened? 1492 01:12:53,535 --> 01:12:55,870 Well, all our clothes were on the floor. 1493 01:12:56,038 --> 01:12:57,330 Yeah, because they were soaking wet 1494 01:12:57,414 --> 01:12:59,082 from when you got drunk and fell in the lake. 1495 01:12:59,250 --> 01:13:00,750 I took care of you. 1496 01:13:00,918 --> 01:13:03,753 So, we didn't have sex? 1497 01:13:03,921 --> 01:13:05,046 Of course not. 1498 01:13:05,714 --> 01:13:07,674 Oh, thank God! 1499 01:13:10,094 --> 01:13:12,929 I'm glad you think so highly of me. 1500 01:13:13,973 --> 01:13:15,014 No. 1501 01:13:15,516 --> 01:13:17,100 Vicky, wait. 1502 01:13:18,102 --> 01:13:21,187 MIA: Oh, yeah! Oh, my God! (MOANING) 1503 01:13:21,355 --> 01:13:22,855 Mia, stop. 1504 01:13:24,525 --> 01:13:25,858 Oh, my God, yeah! 1505 01:13:26,026 --> 01:13:27,235 Mia, get off! 1506 01:13:27,319 --> 01:13:29,195 I'm about to! I'm about to! 1507 01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:30,280 (SCREAMING) 1508 01:13:31,448 --> 01:13:32,532 Heather. 1509 01:13:34,868 --> 01:13:35,910 What the hell? 1510 01:13:37,037 --> 01:13:38,705 You have something going on with this skank? 1511 01:13:40,207 --> 01:13:42,875 Who are you calling a skank, you fucking bitch? 1512 01:13:43,419 --> 01:13:45,128 Whoa! Whoa! (MIA SCREAMING) 1513 01:13:45,587 --> 01:13:46,754 Stop it! Stop! 1514 01:13:46,922 --> 01:13:47,922 Stop it! 1515 01:13:49,550 --> 01:13:51,301 Ow! What the fuck? 1516 01:13:51,468 --> 01:13:53,636 That's my extension, you bitch! 1517 01:13:53,804 --> 01:13:55,430 You motherfucker! 1518 01:13:55,597 --> 01:13:57,849 No, Mia! Wait a minute! 1519 01:13:59,101 --> 01:14:02,061 By the way, I fucked Mario Lopez! 1520 01:14:02,396 --> 01:14:04,439 (BONES CRACKING) (GROANING) 1521 01:14:06,442 --> 01:14:07,442 Ooh... 1522 01:14:10,362 --> 01:14:12,989 Okay, it's my turn now. 1523 01:14:13,157 --> 01:14:15,658 Uh-uh. Not this time. 1524 01:14:15,826 --> 01:14:17,577 Wait, what about our deal? 1525 01:14:17,745 --> 01:14:21,372 Now you know how it feels, Big Stiffy. 1526 01:14:28,547 --> 01:14:29,881 Gross! 1527 01:14:36,055 --> 01:14:37,472 Fuckin' yuck! 1528 01:14:46,899 --> 01:14:48,191 (SNORING) 1529 01:14:53,781 --> 01:14:57,033 You didn't actually think I'd fall asleep again, did you? 1530 01:14:57,201 --> 01:14:59,035 As long as you're mine, I'm happy. 1531 01:14:59,203 --> 01:15:00,912 Jesus, Kara. What are you doing here? 1532 01:15:01,080 --> 01:15:03,247 Your creepy friend invited me and all my girlfriends. 1533 01:15:03,415 --> 01:15:05,792 Nice outfit, by the way. Very kinky. 1534 01:15:06,668 --> 01:15:07,710 (POUNDING ON DOOR) Oh, shit. 1535 01:15:07,920 --> 01:15:10,129 Don't worry. I locked it. 1536 01:15:12,716 --> 01:15:14,008 Oh, Jesus. 1537 01:15:17,638 --> 01:15:20,681 What the hell kind of freaky shit is going on in here? 1538 01:15:20,849 --> 01:15:22,100 AJ, what are you doing here? 1539 01:15:22,267 --> 01:15:24,143 I followed you. I had to see it with my own eyes. 1540 01:15:24,311 --> 01:15:27,939 First you fuck with my jet ski, then you fuck my girlfriend? 1541 01:15:28,107 --> 01:15:30,358 No! God, no! Nothing happened. 1542 01:15:30,526 --> 01:15:31,609 You're going down, Sandler. 1543 01:15:31,735 --> 01:15:33,194 Sandler? What the... 1544 01:15:33,362 --> 01:15:34,821 Jesus Christ! 1545 01:15:35,823 --> 01:15:36,823 (SPITS) 1546 01:15:36,907 --> 01:15:38,241 AJ: I'm going to kill you! 1547 01:15:40,077 --> 01:15:42,245 Jim, what the fuck are you wearing? 1548 01:15:42,413 --> 01:15:44,831 Hey, I can explain everything! Jesus! 1549 01:15:45,624 --> 01:15:46,666 Come on! Shit! 1550 01:15:46,792 --> 01:15:48,334 Get up, gimp! 1551 01:15:48,502 --> 01:15:50,503 Come on, I'm not fighting you, okay? 1552 01:15:50,629 --> 01:15:52,171 This is silly. I'm an adult. 1553 01:15:52,339 --> 01:15:53,381 Oh, really? 1554 01:15:53,507 --> 01:15:55,466 Because to me you look like a little bitch pussy. 1555 01:15:55,551 --> 01:15:56,551 (BOYS LAUGHING) 1556 01:15:56,635 --> 01:15:58,386 Don't be a pussy, Jim. 1557 01:15:58,554 --> 01:16:01,139 Look, AJ, just calm down, okay? 1558 01:16:01,306 --> 01:16:04,392 What makes you little fuckers think you can crash one of the Stifmeister's parties? 1559 01:16:05,102 --> 01:16:07,937 Did you just refer to yourself as "the Stifmeister"? 1560 01:16:08,105 --> 01:16:11,232 Because that's the lamest name ever! 1561 01:16:11,608 --> 01:16:12,817 (PEOPLE JEERING) 1562 01:16:13,819 --> 01:16:15,945 I'm going to fucking kill you. 1563 01:16:16,113 --> 01:16:17,071 Bring it on. 1564 01:16:17,156 --> 01:16:18,656 Hey, Steve, come on, this is... 1565 01:16:19,408 --> 01:16:21,117 (CROWD EXCLAIMING) 1566 01:16:23,996 --> 01:16:25,997 Where do you think you're going? 1567 01:16:30,752 --> 01:16:33,463 Don't mess with the Class of '99, bitch! 1568 01:16:33,589 --> 01:16:34,589 (GROANS) 1569 01:16:34,673 --> 01:16:35,840 Finch! 1570 01:16:36,508 --> 01:16:37,675 Don't hurt my friend! 1571 01:16:46,768 --> 01:16:47,768 (GROANING) 1572 01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:53,608 Hey! 1573 01:16:53,901 --> 01:16:56,944 Get off my husband, you little piece of shit! 1574 01:16:57,029 --> 01:16:59,280 (SIRENS WAILING) 1575 01:17:06,330 --> 01:17:07,330 (INDISTINCT CHATTER ON POLICE RADIO) 1576 01:17:07,414 --> 01:17:08,748 (LAUGHING) 1577 01:17:08,874 --> 01:17:11,876 Oh, crap! It's the fuzz! 1578 01:17:12,628 --> 01:17:14,837 We have to get out. How do you get out? 1579 01:17:15,047 --> 01:17:16,255 I need an escape route! 1580 01:17:16,423 --> 01:17:18,007 Oh, shit! 1581 01:17:18,133 --> 01:17:19,175 You want to be with him? 1582 01:17:19,259 --> 01:17:21,886 Fine! He's all yours. 1583 01:17:22,054 --> 01:17:23,471 Come on, man! 1584 01:17:25,474 --> 01:17:27,850 Jim, what's going on? 1585 01:17:28,018 --> 01:17:30,061 I am so sorry for all of this. I can explain. 1586 01:17:30,771 --> 01:17:33,064 Last night I ran into Kara, our neighbor. 1587 01:17:33,273 --> 01:17:36,317 She was too drunk to drive, so I drove her home. 1588 01:17:36,485 --> 01:17:41,280 And she started taking off her clothes, and touching my... 1589 01:17:41,615 --> 01:17:45,034 Okay, I know it doesn't sound good, but nothing happened, okay? 1590 01:17:45,202 --> 01:17:47,286 I don't care about her at all! 1591 01:17:47,454 --> 01:17:49,997 Thanks a lot. 1592 01:17:50,415 --> 01:17:52,917 No, no, Kara, wait. I didn't mean... 1593 01:17:53,085 --> 01:17:54,794 Wait, Michelle. Hold on, hold on. 1594 01:17:54,962 --> 01:17:56,379 It's not what you think, okay? 1595 01:17:56,546 --> 01:18:01,050 I swear, I was just trying to do the right thing, and I... 1596 01:18:01,134 --> 01:18:03,761 (SIGHS) You have to believe me, Michelle, please. 1597 01:18:04,680 --> 01:18:07,807 Whether I believe you or not, 1598 01:18:08,016 --> 01:18:09,392 I'm disappointed. 1599 01:18:09,810 --> 01:18:12,270 I'm going to stay with my grandmother. 1600 01:18:12,437 --> 01:18:13,437 Hold it, Michelle. 1601 01:18:13,522 --> 01:18:14,522 No, Jim. 1602 01:18:15,148 --> 01:18:16,691 Hey, the fight's over, guys. 1603 01:18:16,858 --> 01:18:18,276 We're not here to stop a fight. 1604 01:18:18,527 --> 01:18:20,861 We're here about that stolen motorcycle. 1605 01:18:21,029 --> 01:18:22,697 Looks like the VIN numbers match up. 1606 01:18:22,864 --> 01:18:24,115 Paul Finch. 1607 01:18:24,283 --> 01:18:26,033 You're under arrest. 1608 01:18:27,369 --> 01:18:28,619 Awesome! 1609 01:18:28,954 --> 01:18:30,121 KEVIN: Excuse me, officer. 1610 01:18:30,205 --> 01:18:34,750 He won that bike betting on the World Cup in Argentina. You made some sort of mistake. 1611 01:18:34,835 --> 01:18:36,794 Paul, what's going on? What is this about? 1612 01:18:37,087 --> 01:18:38,254 Paul. 1613 01:18:38,422 --> 01:18:39,714 Finch, just tell them. 1614 01:18:39,881 --> 01:18:41,048 Paul! 1615 01:18:42,301 --> 01:18:45,803 STIFLER: Hey, shitbreak, when you're getting rammed by your cellmate tonight, 1616 01:18:45,971 --> 01:18:47,096 think of Kevin. 1617 01:18:51,143 --> 01:18:53,144 Michelle, can I just... Please! 1618 01:18:57,065 --> 01:18:58,107 Oh! 1619 01:18:58,859 --> 01:18:59,900 Ah! 1620 01:19:00,777 --> 01:19:02,028 Dad? Ah! 1621 01:19:02,904 --> 01:19:04,613 (CROWD EXCLAIMING) 1622 01:19:06,575 --> 01:19:07,575 Dad? 1623 01:19:08,493 --> 01:19:09,910 Dad, what are you doing? 1624 01:19:10,078 --> 01:19:12,830 You didn't see me! I'm not here! 1625 01:19:12,998 --> 01:19:14,165 I'm not here! 1626 01:19:15,751 --> 01:19:16,917 ls he all right? 1627 01:19:17,586 --> 01:19:19,253 I don't know. 1628 01:19:19,755 --> 01:19:21,255 What are we going to do about Finch? 1629 01:19:21,423 --> 01:19:23,674 Fuck Finch. Let him spend the night in jail. 1630 01:19:23,842 --> 01:19:25,051 Come on, Stifler! 1631 01:19:25,135 --> 01:19:26,344 Some friend you are. 1632 01:19:28,680 --> 01:19:30,139 What about you guys? 1633 01:19:30,349 --> 01:19:33,392 You don't call me, you don't e-mail, 1634 01:19:33,477 --> 01:19:35,603 you don't comment on my Facebook page. 1635 01:19:35,687 --> 01:19:37,980 You guys didn't even let me know you were coming back for the reunion. 1636 01:19:38,148 --> 01:19:41,442 Because we knew, somehow, you would find a way to screw things up. 1637 01:19:41,943 --> 01:19:43,611 Oh, I'm sorry, Jim. 1638 01:19:43,779 --> 01:19:45,363 I wanted us to have a fucking fun time 1639 01:19:45,447 --> 01:19:46,947 this weekend, like we did in high school. 1640 01:19:47,115 --> 01:19:49,116 But we're not in high school anymore. 1641 01:19:49,284 --> 01:19:50,785 You are so trapped in the past, Stifler. 1642 01:19:50,952 --> 01:19:53,996 When are you going to realize that things will never be the way they used to be? 1643 01:19:54,706 --> 01:19:55,956 (SCOFFS) 1644 01:20:01,129 --> 01:20:02,338 Fine. 1645 01:20:03,548 --> 01:20:05,341 Guess the party's over. 1646 01:20:07,636 --> 01:20:08,886 Dicks. 1647 01:20:12,849 --> 01:20:14,100 (SIGHS) 1648 01:20:41,420 --> 01:20:43,712 Well, that was a great party. 1649 01:20:44,172 --> 01:20:46,549 I honestly think I had fun. 1650 01:20:48,510 --> 01:20:51,220 Well, that makes one of us. 1651 01:20:53,557 --> 01:20:54,890 Have you heard from Michelle? 1652 01:20:55,058 --> 01:20:58,310 No. She doesn't want to talk to me. 1653 01:20:58,603 --> 01:21:00,396 What about the reunion tonight? 1654 01:21:00,480 --> 01:21:02,606 She said she may or may not come. 1655 01:21:02,774 --> 01:21:04,567 What's going on with you two? 1656 01:21:04,734 --> 01:21:06,277 Jim, is there anything you want to talk about? 1657 01:21:07,529 --> 01:21:09,071 (CLEARS THROAT) 1658 01:21:10,323 --> 01:21:11,490 Okay. 1659 01:21:12,242 --> 01:21:13,367 Um... 1660 01:21:14,578 --> 01:21:17,163 How often 1661 01:21:17,330 --> 01:21:20,666 did you and Mom... 1662 01:21:23,837 --> 01:21:25,129 You know? 1663 01:21:25,213 --> 01:21:27,298 ls that what this is about? 1664 01:21:27,382 --> 01:21:29,216 You and Michelle haven't been... 1665 01:21:29,384 --> 01:21:31,218 Not lately, no. 1666 01:21:31,303 --> 01:21:32,344 Oh... 1667 01:21:34,890 --> 01:21:36,724 ls it 1668 01:21:36,892 --> 01:21:38,392 an erectile problem? 1669 01:21:39,227 --> 01:21:43,564 Because sometimes you can buy a little time 1670 01:21:43,732 --> 01:21:45,024 with a well-placed thumb. 1671 01:21:45,108 --> 01:21:46,984 Oh, God. I'm just saying. 1672 01:21:47,068 --> 01:21:48,944 I don't think that's it. That's not it? 1673 01:21:49,237 --> 01:21:54,033 Oh! That's something to keep in your back pocket, because that's a no-fail. 1674 01:21:54,201 --> 01:21:55,868 Okay, let's be done with that. 1675 01:21:56,036 --> 01:21:59,455 No, things in that department were fine. 1676 01:22:00,665 --> 01:22:02,750 And then Evan was born 1677 01:22:02,959 --> 01:22:05,836 and we kind of stopped. 1678 01:22:06,087 --> 01:22:09,924 And they haven't really picked up since, you know? 1679 01:22:10,717 --> 01:22:13,969 This is not a problem, so do not worry. 1680 01:22:14,095 --> 01:22:15,930 You understand? Yeah, listen, Jim. 1681 01:22:16,097 --> 01:22:17,556 Before you were born, 1682 01:22:17,641 --> 01:22:20,601 your mother and I, we would do it every day. 1683 01:22:20,685 --> 01:22:21,685 I don't need this. 1684 01:22:21,770 --> 01:22:24,104 Sometimes two or three times a day. 1685 01:22:24,189 --> 01:22:27,775 This is back in the '70s. A lot of experimentation was going on. 1686 01:22:27,984 --> 01:22:32,696 Your mother favored something she called, "diving for dollars." 1687 01:22:32,948 --> 01:22:35,824 Holy shit. I'm sorry, I don't need... 1688 01:22:35,909 --> 01:22:38,285 (CLEARS THROAT) That's fine, we can... 1689 01:22:38,453 --> 01:22:39,703 I don't have to go on with that. 1690 01:22:39,788 --> 01:22:45,251 But my point is, when you have a kid, you become a dad and a mom. 1691 01:22:45,627 --> 01:22:49,838 But it's very important not to stop being a husband and a wife. 1692 01:22:50,423 --> 01:22:53,968 And if you do that, the sex will come. 1693 01:22:56,054 --> 01:22:57,513 That actually makes a lot of sense. 1694 01:22:57,681 --> 01:23:01,058 But you can't just wait for the two of you to be alone. 1695 01:23:01,226 --> 01:23:04,687 You have to make your own alone time. 1696 01:23:04,896 --> 01:23:08,565 Why do you think you went to Hebrew school three times a week? 1697 01:23:08,733 --> 01:23:12,736 Sundays, noon to three? Tuesdays, four to seven? 1698 01:23:12,862 --> 01:23:14,154 Okay, I get it, Dad. 1699 01:23:14,239 --> 01:23:16,448 If you get it, then why the questions? 1700 01:23:16,616 --> 01:23:17,700 I'm sorry. 1701 01:23:17,784 --> 01:23:19,868 You're going through this, I am sorry. I should be listening. 1702 01:23:20,036 --> 01:23:23,038 No, I'm overreacting. I'm sorry. 1703 01:23:26,876 --> 01:23:28,585 (SIGHS) Thank you. 1704 01:23:29,129 --> 01:23:31,046 Again. Really. 1705 01:23:34,467 --> 01:23:35,718 Anytime. 1706 01:23:40,557 --> 01:23:42,141 Welcome, you guys. 1707 01:23:42,225 --> 01:23:45,769 Listen, find your nametag, find out what table you're sitting at. 1708 01:23:45,854 --> 01:23:48,105 Ashley, so good to see you! Oh, my God. 1709 01:23:48,273 --> 01:23:51,317 Billy! Oh, my God, you're looking so svelte. 1710 01:23:51,484 --> 01:23:54,611 You used to be morbidly obese. I was concerned. 1711 01:23:54,696 --> 01:23:55,779 KEVIN: Hey. 1712 01:23:55,864 --> 01:23:56,947 Hey, guys. 1713 01:23:57,032 --> 01:23:58,699 Hey, Jim. Oz. 1714 01:23:58,992 --> 01:24:00,159 Where is Mia? 1715 01:24:00,243 --> 01:24:02,369 She flew out this morning. 1716 01:24:02,537 --> 01:24:04,872 Oh. I'm sorry, man. 1717 01:24:05,707 --> 01:24:06,749 What about Michelle? 1718 01:24:08,001 --> 01:24:09,877 I am not sure yet. 1719 01:24:10,587 --> 01:24:11,879 ALL: Finch! 1720 01:24:12,088 --> 01:24:15,424 What happened? I called the police department a thousand times. 1721 01:24:15,508 --> 01:24:20,387 I appreciate that, Kevin. But my mom, actually, bailed me out. 1722 01:24:22,140 --> 01:24:23,640 Guys, I screwed up. 1723 01:24:23,808 --> 01:24:25,893 That bike belongs to my boss. 1724 01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:30,397 And I was promised a raise, and I didn't get it, so I 1725 01:24:30,523 --> 01:24:31,774 simply borrowed it. 1726 01:24:32,567 --> 01:24:35,069 The truth is that my life isn't interesting at all. 1727 01:24:35,570 --> 01:24:39,573 I am an assistant manager at a Staples in Bayonne, New Jersey. 1728 01:24:39,824 --> 01:24:43,035 I lied to my best friends, and I'm sorry. 1729 01:24:44,454 --> 01:24:47,539 You know, Finch, just because you sold out 1730 01:24:47,624 --> 01:24:50,626 and got a boring job like most of us, 1731 01:24:50,710 --> 01:24:52,336 that doesn't mean you should be embarrassed. 1732 01:24:52,420 --> 01:24:55,005 Yeah, come on, man. None of that shit matters. 1733 01:24:56,091 --> 01:24:57,341 That means a lot, gentlemen. 1734 01:24:57,509 --> 01:24:58,884 What about your arm? 1735 01:24:58,968 --> 01:24:59,968 Oh. 1736 01:25:01,596 --> 01:25:04,348 I spilled coffee on myself while I was driving. 1737 01:25:04,516 --> 01:25:05,682 No. (CHUCKLES) 1738 01:25:06,434 --> 01:25:08,102 lt hurt like a bitch, though. 1739 01:25:08,228 --> 01:25:11,063 I'll bet. Jesus, Finch. 1740 01:25:11,439 --> 01:25:13,857 Oh, hey, check this out, you guys. 1741 01:25:15,193 --> 01:25:17,277 Crazy, huh? Look at us. 1742 01:25:17,445 --> 01:25:18,612 OZ: A lot of memories. 1743 01:25:20,615 --> 01:25:22,241 "Steve Stifler. 1744 01:25:23,201 --> 01:25:26,120 "Hopes to keep the party going with his boys." 1745 01:25:27,872 --> 01:25:28,956 (CLICKS TONGUE) 1746 01:25:30,083 --> 01:25:31,834 Any sign of him yet? 1747 01:25:32,001 --> 01:25:33,710 I don't think he's going to show. 1748 01:25:33,795 --> 01:25:34,962 (SIGHS) 1749 01:25:49,269 --> 01:25:50,477 Stifler? 1750 01:25:54,566 --> 01:25:55,649 How'd you find me? 1751 01:25:55,817 --> 01:25:57,151 We asked your mom. 1752 01:25:57,986 --> 01:26:00,487 Oh, no. I didn't do anything. 1753 01:26:01,823 --> 01:26:06,577 We wanted to apologize for what we said last night. 1754 01:26:07,162 --> 01:26:08,162 We didn't mean it. 1755 01:26:08,496 --> 01:26:09,496 (SIGHS) 1756 01:26:09,581 --> 01:26:13,500 Yeah, you did. I get it, you guys think I'm a dick. 1757 01:26:18,173 --> 01:26:20,466 Okay. Well, 1758 01:26:21,342 --> 01:26:23,760 maybe you are kind of a dick. 1759 01:26:24,679 --> 01:26:25,762 But, 1760 01:26:26,764 --> 01:26:28,515 you're a fun dick. 1761 01:26:28,683 --> 01:26:31,727 And you're our dick. 1762 01:26:32,353 --> 01:26:37,191 Yeah, man. You were one of the biggest reasons that high school was awesome. 1763 01:26:37,358 --> 01:26:40,027 Yeah, high school was awesome. 1764 01:26:40,195 --> 01:26:42,988 Then we graduated and everybody started getting jobs 1765 01:26:43,156 --> 01:26:45,365 and getting married and having kids 1766 01:26:45,450 --> 01:26:47,826 and all that other stupid shit. 1767 01:26:47,994 --> 01:26:51,663 Now, look at me. I'm the bitch of this place. 1768 01:26:51,873 --> 01:26:53,832 Look, Stifler, none of our lives are perfect. 1769 01:26:54,000 --> 01:26:55,209 Especially mine. 1770 01:26:56,169 --> 01:27:00,547 But what do you say we keep this party going, and hit up this reunion together? 1771 01:27:02,383 --> 01:27:04,343 What the hell is going on here? 1772 01:27:05,094 --> 01:27:08,597 Oh, my God. This is the jackass. 1773 01:27:09,015 --> 01:27:11,475 You're not even close to being finished and you're up here 1774 01:27:11,559 --> 01:27:13,685 "chilling with your posse"? 1775 01:27:13,811 --> 01:27:15,020 Sorry, we can explain. 1776 01:27:15,188 --> 01:27:16,480 No, Kevin. 1777 01:27:17,899 --> 01:27:18,982 Allow me. 1778 01:27:19,067 --> 01:27:21,693 Yeah, Kevin, allow him. 1779 01:27:21,778 --> 01:27:22,986 This better be good, Stafler. 1780 01:27:23,446 --> 01:27:25,531 It's Stifler, fucker. 1781 01:27:25,865 --> 01:27:29,826 (SCOFFS) Oh, wow. Who the hell do you think you are? 1782 01:27:30,036 --> 01:27:33,539 Are you acting tough in front of your girlfriend? Huh? 1783 01:27:33,623 --> 01:27:35,624 Because we both know she's only with you for your money. 1784 01:27:36,459 --> 01:27:37,793 Definitely not for your dick. 1785 01:27:37,961 --> 01:27:39,795 Because anybody that's peed next to you 1786 01:27:39,879 --> 01:27:41,713 knows it's the size of a leprechaun's pinkie. 1787 01:27:41,839 --> 01:27:43,215 (SNICKERS) 1788 01:27:43,299 --> 01:27:45,300 That's not true. 1789 01:27:45,385 --> 01:27:48,679 (MOCKINGLY) "That's not true." Oh, yeah, it is. 1790 01:27:50,306 --> 01:27:54,059 Look, just because you got a fancy office and I don't even have a desk 1791 01:27:54,227 --> 01:27:56,520 doesn't change who we really are. 1792 01:27:56,688 --> 01:28:00,190 The truth is, you're still a dork, 1793 01:28:00,358 --> 01:28:02,317 and I can still kick your ass. 1794 01:28:03,236 --> 01:28:04,861 But I'm not going to. 1795 01:28:05,029 --> 01:28:06,572 You know why? 1796 01:28:06,739 --> 01:28:08,865 Because I'm the fucking Stifmeister. 1797 01:28:08,950 --> 01:28:10,742 And if you even look at me again, 1798 01:28:10,827 --> 01:28:12,953 I will shit in your briefcase. 1799 01:28:14,247 --> 01:28:15,414 Dudes? 1800 01:28:22,005 --> 01:28:25,674 By the way, I had no clue what I was doing with any of this shit, 1801 01:28:25,842 --> 01:28:28,135 so you got a lot of work to do. 1802 01:28:30,138 --> 01:28:32,180 (PUNK ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1803 01:29:02,837 --> 01:29:04,546 Surprise! Hey! You made it. 1804 01:29:04,714 --> 01:29:05,964 Of course. 1805 01:29:06,132 --> 01:29:08,425 What do you think about the Lions this year? They got a shot? 1806 01:29:08,593 --> 01:29:10,927 We'll see if their offensive line can hold. 1807 01:29:11,095 --> 01:29:13,764 Are you planning on being on Celebrity Dance Off: All Stars? 1808 01:29:13,931 --> 01:29:15,807 I actually haven't thought much about that. 1809 01:29:15,975 --> 01:29:18,018 You should think about it. 1810 01:29:22,649 --> 01:29:25,984 I'm sorry, guys, you'll have to excuse me. 1811 01:29:30,615 --> 01:29:31,907 Can I cut in? 1812 01:29:32,492 --> 01:29:35,118 I don't know. Can you promise to keep your shirt on? 1813 01:29:35,953 --> 01:29:38,747 Come on, buddy, I'm busting balls. Huh? 1814 01:29:38,831 --> 01:29:40,916 Yeah, of course. 1815 01:29:41,250 --> 01:29:42,584 I'll get us some drinks. 1816 01:29:42,669 --> 01:29:43,794 Okay. 1817 01:29:45,588 --> 01:29:48,131 Hey. 1818 01:29:49,175 --> 01:29:51,468 Shouldn't you be dancing with your girlfriend? 1819 01:29:51,636 --> 01:29:52,636 Uh... 1820 01:29:53,805 --> 01:29:56,973 Mia and I are over. 1821 01:29:58,476 --> 01:30:03,146 She wanted me to be someone else. 1822 01:30:03,690 --> 01:30:07,359 Something that I don't want to be. 1823 01:30:08,486 --> 01:30:10,654 What do you want, Chris? 1824 01:30:11,155 --> 01:30:13,490 Heather, I want this. 1825 01:30:13,908 --> 01:30:15,200 I want us. 1826 01:30:16,661 --> 01:30:20,163 What about your career? LA? 1827 01:30:20,331 --> 01:30:23,625 Look, I know that it's crazy. 1828 01:30:23,793 --> 01:30:28,547 And I don't have all the answers right now, but I see you, 1829 01:30:29,924 --> 01:30:31,383 and I just know 1830 01:30:32,635 --> 01:30:33,802 I want you. 1831 01:30:35,346 --> 01:30:39,057 I love you. 1832 01:30:46,023 --> 01:30:47,107 So, I'm skiing down a mountain. 1833 01:30:47,191 --> 01:30:48,525 Guy has a heart attack right there. 1834 01:30:48,693 --> 01:30:51,570 Saved his life. lt was a big story, you can google it. 1835 01:30:51,738 --> 01:30:52,863 Yeah, it was. 1836 01:30:53,030 --> 01:30:54,364 I bet. 1837 01:30:55,366 --> 01:30:57,534 Holy shit! Excuse me. 1838 01:30:57,702 --> 01:31:00,120 Hey, excuse me. What the hell is going on? 1839 01:31:00,538 --> 01:31:01,663 Ron, I can explain. 1840 01:31:01,748 --> 01:31:03,123 Seriously, this guy? 1841 01:31:03,291 --> 01:31:05,542 I'm a fucking heart surgeon, this guy's not even on ESPN. 1842 01:31:05,710 --> 01:31:07,502 Hey, take it easy, Ron. 1843 01:31:07,670 --> 01:31:10,005 What are you going to do? Hit me, Oz? Huh? 1844 01:31:10,173 --> 01:31:13,091 Oh, I got an idea. What about a dance-off? Huh? 1845 01:31:14,051 --> 01:31:16,887 This isn't a reality show, okay? This is the real world. 1846 01:31:17,054 --> 01:31:20,390 You take one swing at me, I will sue you for all you're worth. 1847 01:31:20,975 --> 01:31:21,975 (GASPS) 1848 01:31:24,896 --> 01:31:27,355 I'm not worth jack shit, Dron. 1849 01:31:29,942 --> 01:31:31,151 I'm your dick. 1850 01:31:34,155 --> 01:31:35,197 Dropped him! 1851 01:31:35,281 --> 01:31:36,281 That was awesome! 1852 01:31:36,449 --> 01:31:38,617 Listen, we had a blast the other night. 1853 01:31:39,785 --> 01:31:42,245 Have you ever thought about being a party planner? 1854 01:31:42,788 --> 01:31:45,207 Because we want you to plan our wedding. 1855 01:31:45,291 --> 01:31:46,833 Say yes. 1856 01:31:47,835 --> 01:31:49,794 Yeah, yeah! I'd love to. 1857 01:31:49,879 --> 01:31:51,671 Nice! Oh, my God. 1858 01:31:51,839 --> 01:31:53,548 Thanks! This is great, man. 1859 01:31:53,716 --> 01:31:56,343 Thank you so much. Thank you, bro. 1860 01:31:56,511 --> 01:31:57,969 You're welcome. Thank you. 1861 01:32:03,768 --> 01:32:04,851 I have to tell you something. 1862 01:32:04,936 --> 01:32:06,061 You don't have to explain. 1863 01:32:06,646 --> 01:32:10,982 Look, Paul, I didn't like you because you climbed the Alps, 1864 01:32:11,150 --> 01:32:13,151 or killed a camel with your bare hands. 1865 01:32:13,486 --> 01:32:15,987 I liked you because you were still the same good guy 1866 01:32:16,072 --> 01:32:18,323 that was actually nice to me in high school. 1867 01:32:18,950 --> 01:32:20,200 I'm still that guy. 1868 01:32:20,618 --> 01:32:22,327 I really am. 1869 01:32:23,079 --> 01:32:25,789 You know, the last time I was here was for prom. 1870 01:32:27,041 --> 01:32:28,333 I didn't have a date. 1871 01:32:28,417 --> 01:32:29,668 Neither did I. 1872 01:32:32,338 --> 01:32:33,463 I have to get a drink. 1873 01:32:33,589 --> 01:32:35,090 What? 1874 01:32:35,258 --> 01:32:36,299 Was my dancing that bad? 1875 01:32:36,384 --> 01:32:37,425 Yeah. 1876 01:32:37,843 --> 01:32:39,511 Kev! Hey! 1877 01:32:39,595 --> 01:32:40,595 Hey, Jess! 1878 01:32:40,680 --> 01:32:42,472 Wow. Look, you have a beard! lt looks great. 1879 01:32:42,557 --> 01:32:44,516 Thanks. I'm kidding. 1880 01:32:44,642 --> 01:32:47,018 Let's just get this out of the way. (CLEARS THROAT) 1881 01:32:47,186 --> 01:32:50,438 I'm a lesbian now, and this is my girlfriend. This is Ingrid. 1882 01:32:50,606 --> 01:32:52,315 Good to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. 1883 01:32:52,483 --> 01:32:55,151 Lesbians? (LAUGHING) I knew it! 1884 01:32:55,236 --> 01:32:57,028 Why don't you guys make out and prove it. 1885 01:32:57,196 --> 01:33:00,282 You must be Stifler. I've heard a lot about you. Ow! 1886 01:33:00,366 --> 01:33:01,825 Mostly negative. 1887 01:33:02,034 --> 01:33:04,119 Cool, dude. What the fuck? 1888 01:33:04,203 --> 01:33:06,037 Jessica, it's good to see you. 1889 01:33:06,163 --> 01:33:07,289 No, it wasn't. 1890 01:33:07,373 --> 01:33:08,498 What the... 1891 01:33:08,958 --> 01:33:11,710 Look, Kev, I think you should go talk to Vicky. 1892 01:33:11,961 --> 01:33:14,045 She's really upset over there. 1893 01:33:14,880 --> 01:33:16,965 Yeah, thanks. 1894 01:33:17,049 --> 01:33:18,425 Nice to meet you. 1895 01:33:18,509 --> 01:33:20,719 Be a real man, you have a beard now. 1896 01:33:24,682 --> 01:33:26,641 Kevin, don't. I'm fine. 1897 01:33:26,809 --> 01:33:30,395 Come on. I was a complete jerk last night. 1898 01:33:30,563 --> 01:33:33,440 I was just upset that you would think that I would do that 1899 01:33:33,608 --> 01:33:35,233 knowing that you're married. 1900 01:33:35,776 --> 01:33:37,444 I know you wouldn't. 1901 01:33:37,612 --> 01:33:41,197 Honestly, that was more about me being nervous. 1902 01:33:42,283 --> 01:33:46,369 Seeing you again, all these old feelings came up, and... 1903 01:33:46,537 --> 01:33:49,247 I don't know, I guess I just felt guilty. 1904 01:33:50,124 --> 01:33:54,294 But the fact that I still have feelings for you 1905 01:33:54,462 --> 01:33:57,213 just means that what we had was special. 1906 01:33:57,381 --> 01:33:59,257 Don't get me wrong, all right. 1907 01:33:59,425 --> 01:34:02,719 I love Ellie more than anything. 1908 01:34:02,887 --> 01:34:05,388 But no matter how much time passes 1909 01:34:06,140 --> 01:34:08,099 you'll always be my first love. 1910 01:34:11,145 --> 01:34:12,270 And you'll always be mine. 1911 01:34:12,938 --> 01:34:13,980 Kev. Hey. 1912 01:34:14,148 --> 01:34:16,107 You have to try these cupcakes, they're awesome. 1913 01:34:16,192 --> 01:34:18,318 Ellie, this is Vicky. 1914 01:34:18,569 --> 01:34:22,822 Oh, my God! The Vicky? Kevin has told me so much about you. 1915 01:34:22,948 --> 01:34:25,950 You're a really lucky girl. He's a great guy. 1916 01:34:27,203 --> 01:34:28,912 Come dance with us. No, it's okay. 1917 01:34:29,080 --> 01:34:31,831 Yes, come on, this is happening. Come on. 1918 01:34:31,916 --> 01:34:33,917 (SLOW ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1919 01:35:11,497 --> 01:35:14,582 Hey. 1920 01:35:18,003 --> 01:35:19,129 My name's Jim. 1921 01:35:20,089 --> 01:35:23,258 We were in Mr. Lee's English class together. 1922 01:35:23,509 --> 01:35:24,551 Really? 1923 01:35:25,344 --> 01:35:29,514 Yeah, I... Sorry, I don't remember you. 1924 01:35:29,724 --> 01:35:30,849 Okay. 1925 01:35:32,059 --> 01:35:35,562 I was the kid who everyone saw on the Internet. 1926 01:35:35,938 --> 01:35:36,938 Mmm. 1927 01:35:37,022 --> 01:35:40,233 Sorry, you're going to have to be more specific. 1928 01:35:40,401 --> 01:35:42,068 I pre-ejaculated twice. 1929 01:35:42,194 --> 01:35:43,695 Oh, Jim Levenstein! Right! 1930 01:35:43,779 --> 01:35:46,239 Levenstein. Yeah, Jim Levenstein. 1931 01:35:46,407 --> 01:35:48,908 Now I remember. Yeah. 1932 01:35:49,785 --> 01:35:52,203 So, how have you been since high school? 1933 01:35:52,580 --> 01:35:55,373 Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good. Let's see. 1934 01:35:55,708 --> 01:35:56,708 Um... 1935 01:35:57,209 --> 01:35:58,209 Oh! 1936 01:36:00,880 --> 01:36:03,381 I married the most wonderful woman in the world. 1937 01:36:05,676 --> 01:36:07,385 And we have the cutest kid ever. 1938 01:36:08,763 --> 01:36:11,890 lt sounds like things are perfect. 1939 01:36:12,725 --> 01:36:15,560 I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it perfect. 1940 01:36:16,812 --> 01:36:20,982 And that means being the sexiest husband possible. 1941 01:36:21,901 --> 01:36:23,026 Really? 1942 01:36:23,778 --> 01:36:25,111 Michelle, you look beautiful. 1943 01:36:25,488 --> 01:36:27,947 Oh, thanks. 1944 01:36:29,200 --> 01:36:30,658 Would you like to dance? 1945 01:36:31,243 --> 01:36:32,535 I'd love to. 1946 01:36:36,290 --> 01:36:38,082 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 1947 01:36:48,219 --> 01:36:49,219 Whoo! 1948 01:36:53,933 --> 01:36:55,099 Stifler. 1949 01:36:55,392 --> 01:36:57,936 Sherman? The Sherminator? 1950 01:36:58,479 --> 01:37:00,230 What the fuck have you been up to? 1951 01:37:00,397 --> 01:37:02,732 Married. Had a kid. 1952 01:37:02,900 --> 01:37:04,609 And divorced. 1953 01:37:05,069 --> 01:37:07,570 Oh! I'm sorry. 1954 01:37:07,738 --> 01:37:08,905 Yeah, I'm sure you are. 1955 01:37:08,989 --> 01:37:12,075 But, you know what, at least I got to keep little Furlong. 1956 01:37:13,244 --> 01:37:15,328 You named your kid after Eddie Furlong? 1957 01:37:15,746 --> 01:37:17,080 Yes, I did. You know why? 1958 01:37:17,248 --> 01:37:20,250 Because Terminator 2 is still the greatest film ever made. 1959 01:37:20,918 --> 01:37:24,420 Dude, you need to get banged bad. 1960 01:37:24,630 --> 01:37:26,214 I'm gonna help you out. 1961 01:37:26,298 --> 01:37:28,758 Your cock can thank me later, what do you say? 1962 01:37:29,009 --> 01:37:31,928 No, no. See, I'm not gonna fall for that again. 1963 01:37:32,221 --> 01:37:33,680 Come on. 1964 01:37:33,764 --> 01:37:36,015 I know I was bit of a jerk back in the day, 1965 01:37:36,100 --> 01:37:37,892 but I've grown up a lot since then. 1966 01:37:38,060 --> 01:37:40,520 Please, let me help you out. 1967 01:37:45,818 --> 01:37:47,277 Psyche! 1968 01:37:47,778 --> 01:37:48,778 (LAUGHING) 1969 01:37:48,863 --> 01:37:50,363 I'm just messing with you. 1970 01:37:50,447 --> 01:37:52,198 Get over here, you little rascal. 1971 01:37:53,075 --> 01:37:55,618 Hey, let's find you some puss-puss. Let's go. 1972 01:38:00,833 --> 01:38:02,834 Okay, we have to get out of here. 1973 01:38:03,002 --> 01:38:04,961 It's about time. Yeah. 1974 01:38:09,717 --> 01:38:10,925 It's a lost cause. 1975 01:38:11,010 --> 01:38:13,803 All these women are either married or came with dates. 1976 01:38:15,180 --> 01:38:16,222 WOMAN: Hey, Loni. 1977 01:38:16,307 --> 01:38:19,767 Dude, how would you like to have your world blown? 1978 01:38:28,360 --> 01:38:29,652 (BEEPING) 1979 01:38:31,071 --> 01:38:33,531 Hasta la vista, Stifler. 1980 01:38:37,494 --> 01:38:38,620 (SIGHS) 1981 01:38:38,704 --> 01:38:42,373 Great, everybody's getting laid but me. 1982 01:38:42,541 --> 01:38:43,833 This sucks. 1983 01:38:44,001 --> 01:38:45,835 Excuse me. 1984 01:38:46,003 --> 01:38:47,837 Hi. Hi. 1985 01:38:48,005 --> 01:38:51,049 I'm looking for Paul Finch. Have you seen him anywhere? 1986 01:38:51,216 --> 01:38:52,926 What do you want with Finch? 1987 01:38:53,093 --> 01:38:56,179 I'm here to pick him up. I'm his mom. 1988 01:38:59,725 --> 01:39:00,934 Finch has a mom? 1989 01:39:03,228 --> 01:39:06,230 I mean, you're Finch's mom? 1990 01:39:07,066 --> 01:39:09,400 Yeah. Are you a friend of his? 1991 01:39:09,568 --> 01:39:10,693 Oh, yeah. 1992 01:39:11,779 --> 01:39:13,363 Paul is like my best friend. 1993 01:39:13,530 --> 01:39:17,742 I love him so much. More now than ever before. 1994 01:39:17,910 --> 01:39:21,287 ln fact, I can't believe we haven't met. I'm Steven Stifler. 1995 01:39:24,208 --> 01:39:25,333 I'm Rachel. 1996 01:39:27,211 --> 01:39:29,212 What? What is it? 1997 01:39:29,380 --> 01:39:33,132 I just got this feeling like something really bad is about to happen. 1998 01:39:33,300 --> 01:39:38,221 Don't worry. I'll be as quiet as a church mouse. 1999 01:39:42,768 --> 01:39:43,851 Oh, Jim! 2000 01:39:46,647 --> 01:39:47,814 (CHIMING) 2001 01:39:47,898 --> 01:39:48,940 JIM: Oh! 2002 01:39:49,024 --> 01:39:50,233 (BOTH MOANING) 2003 01:39:51,402 --> 01:39:52,360 I want you so bad. 2004 01:39:52,444 --> 01:39:54,112 (IN HUSKY VOICE) Oh, you have no idea! 2005 01:39:54,947 --> 01:39:56,990 Oh, God! Oh, God! 2006 01:39:57,157 --> 01:40:00,702 Oh, God, there it is. I don't think I can hold it anymore. 2007 01:40:00,786 --> 01:40:01,786 Hold it in! 2008 01:40:01,870 --> 01:40:03,913 I'm sorry, I will. 2009 01:40:04,039 --> 01:40:05,248 I just forgot how awesome this is. 2010 01:40:05,332 --> 01:40:07,500 Oh, yeah, I need this. 2011 01:40:10,295 --> 01:40:13,006 Oh, God, Michelle! Fuck, I love you! 2012 01:40:13,090 --> 01:40:14,298 Jim? 2013 01:40:14,675 --> 01:40:16,217 (BOTH PANTING) 2014 01:40:16,427 --> 01:40:17,427 Nadia? 2015 01:40:19,596 --> 01:40:20,805 BOTH: (HESITANTLY) Hey. 2016 01:40:21,682 --> 01:40:24,851 I'm sorry. You are busy, yes? 2017 01:40:25,686 --> 01:40:26,769 No. Yes. 2018 01:40:26,854 --> 01:40:28,021 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 2019 01:40:28,689 --> 01:40:31,691 Nadia, it's so nice to see you. 2020 01:40:32,067 --> 01:40:34,736 But do you think you could give us a minute? 2021 01:40:34,903 --> 01:40:35,862 BOTH: Three. 2022 01:40:35,946 --> 01:40:36,946 Three minutes. 2023 01:40:37,114 --> 01:40:40,742 Okay! So nice you are still together. 2024 01:40:40,826 --> 01:40:41,826 BOTH: Aw! 2025 01:40:41,910 --> 01:40:44,287 And I see you've gotten much better at this. 2026 01:40:44,997 --> 01:40:47,248 Well, thanks. 2027 01:40:52,129 --> 01:40:54,672 That's Jim? He looks nothing like me. 2028 01:40:54,757 --> 01:40:56,257 (BOTH MOANING) 2029 01:40:56,508 --> 01:41:01,637 You know, when I was in high school, I dated a lacrosse player. 2030 01:41:01,889 --> 01:41:03,765 ln fact, I dated a few of them. 2031 01:41:03,932 --> 01:41:05,933 You don't say. 2032 01:41:06,101 --> 01:41:09,270 I always wanted Paul to be more into sports. 2033 01:41:09,438 --> 01:41:12,148 But he was never that interested. 2034 01:41:12,649 --> 01:41:14,317 You don't have to sugarcoat it. 2035 01:41:14,485 --> 01:41:15,818 Finch was a klutz. 2036 01:41:18,322 --> 01:41:21,240 Yeah, I guess he was, but he did not get that from me. 2037 01:41:21,450 --> 01:41:24,327 I was head cheerleader. 2038 01:41:24,661 --> 01:41:27,663 And if there's anything I learned from lacrosse players, 2039 01:41:27,831 --> 01:41:31,375 it's that I like to handle a stick 2040 01:41:33,045 --> 01:41:35,588 and cradle those balls. 2041 01:41:35,672 --> 01:41:38,758 (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) 2042 01:41:38,842 --> 01:41:40,051 I love you. 2043 01:41:41,011 --> 01:41:43,304 Are you ready for me, Stifler? 2044 01:41:47,768 --> 01:41:49,018 Oh, yeah! 2045 01:41:50,604 --> 01:41:52,188 Let's go. 2046 01:41:52,356 --> 01:41:54,273 (MOANS) Oh, Michelle. 2047 01:41:54,441 --> 01:41:56,359 Oh, God, Michelle. 2048 01:41:56,944 --> 01:41:59,362 You are amazing! 2049 01:41:59,738 --> 01:42:01,197 Better than the bathtub? 2050 01:42:01,281 --> 01:42:02,323 Much. 2051 01:42:04,117 --> 01:42:05,743 Better than this? 2052 01:42:06,203 --> 01:42:07,286 Ooh! 2053 01:42:10,624 --> 01:42:12,124 Of course. 2054 01:42:13,627 --> 01:42:15,545 STIFLER: Oh, take those off! 2055 01:42:15,712 --> 01:42:17,004 RACHEL: We shouldn't be doing this. 2056 01:42:17,172 --> 01:42:18,256 Yes, we should. (UNZIPPING) 2057 01:42:18,340 --> 01:42:20,174 Oh, Stifler. 2058 01:42:20,342 --> 01:42:21,884 Oh, Finch's mom! 2059 01:42:23,387 --> 01:42:24,720 Call me the Stifmeister! 2060 01:42:24,888 --> 01:42:27,306 Yeah, you are the Stifmeister. 2061 01:42:27,724 --> 01:42:28,724 (BOTH MOANING) 2062 01:42:28,809 --> 01:42:30,059 MAN: MILF? 2063 01:42:36,733 --> 01:42:38,317 Oh, Finch's mom! 2064 01:42:38,569 --> 01:42:39,610 (UNENTHUSIASTICALLY) MILF. 2065 01:42:41,196 --> 01:42:42,238 MILF. 2066 01:42:45,993 --> 01:42:47,326 STIFLER: Tell me I'm the best. 2067 01:42:47,411 --> 01:42:49,078 RACHEL: You are the best! 2068 01:42:49,913 --> 01:42:50,955 MILF. 2069 01:42:52,207 --> 01:42:53,583 MILF. MILF. 2070 01:42:55,210 --> 01:42:56,419 STIFLER: Oh, Finch's mom! 2071 01:42:57,045 --> 01:43:02,049 BOTH: MILF! MILF! MILF! 2072 01:43:02,426 --> 01:43:04,343 (CHEERING) 2073 01:43:04,428 --> 01:43:05,887 RACHEL: Yes! Yes! 2074 01:43:05,971 --> 01:43:07,388 STIFLER: Oh, your son's such a dork! 2075 01:43:07,472 --> 01:43:09,390 Stop talking about him! 2076 01:43:09,474 --> 01:43:10,808 (RACHEL SCREAMING) 2077 01:43:11,810 --> 01:43:14,478 Well, our first reunion is officially in the books. 2078 01:43:14,646 --> 01:43:17,857 I don't know about you guys, but my night ended pretty well. 2079 01:43:18,025 --> 01:43:19,108 lt was great. 2080 01:43:19,192 --> 01:43:20,526 I had a blast. lt was unforgettable. 2081 01:43:20,611 --> 01:43:22,320 Fuck yeah! I jizzed like a racehorse. 2082 01:43:23,030 --> 01:43:24,697 What happened to you at the end of the night, Stifler? 2083 01:43:24,781 --> 01:43:26,073 Who did you end up with? 2084 01:43:26,158 --> 01:43:28,910 A gentleman never kisses and tells, Jim. 2085 01:43:31,788 --> 01:43:32,830 JIM: Guys? 2086 01:43:34,917 --> 01:43:36,792 I'll be right back, okay? 2087 01:43:40,714 --> 01:43:41,797 Kara! 2088 01:43:48,347 --> 01:43:50,431 Hey. Hey. 2089 01:43:51,224 --> 01:43:53,893 Look, I'm sorry about what I said the other night. 2090 01:43:54,061 --> 01:43:57,438 No, I'm the one who should be apologizing. 2091 01:43:57,606 --> 01:43:59,732 I can't believe the way I acted. I'm so embarrassed. 2092 01:43:59,816 --> 01:44:01,359 Don't be. 2093 01:44:01,777 --> 01:44:05,071 When I was your age I was pretty obsessed with sex, too. 2094 01:44:05,155 --> 01:44:06,238 I know. 2095 01:44:07,282 --> 01:44:08,366 I've seen the YouTube clip. 2096 01:44:08,867 --> 01:44:11,327 Oh, of course you did. 2097 01:44:11,495 --> 01:44:13,704 But, thanks for understanding. 2098 01:44:13,872 --> 01:44:16,666 I was thinking about it, and you're right. 2099 01:44:16,833 --> 01:44:18,459 I should really wait for someone special. 2100 01:44:20,170 --> 01:44:23,172 Just, it's going to be tough to find a guy as good as you. 2101 01:44:26,593 --> 01:44:27,677 I'm sure you will. 2102 01:44:34,518 --> 01:44:36,602 I feel like a whole new man after this weekend. 2103 01:44:36,687 --> 01:44:38,145 Kind of sucks we have to leave, though. 2104 01:44:38,230 --> 01:44:41,357 Not me. I'm going to take some time off my job 2105 01:44:41,441 --> 01:44:43,275 and stick around here with Heather for a while. 2106 01:44:43,360 --> 01:44:44,443 Nice! 2107 01:44:44,528 --> 01:44:45,653 What about you, Finch? 2108 01:44:45,737 --> 01:44:48,948 Selena and I, we're planning a little jaunt to Europe. 2109 01:44:49,116 --> 01:44:51,701 Just make sure you call your mom. She misses you. 2110 01:44:52,577 --> 01:44:53,953 How would you know? 2111 01:44:54,329 --> 01:44:55,329 (CHUCKLES) 2112 01:44:55,747 --> 01:44:56,747 Oh... 2113 01:44:59,876 --> 01:45:01,794 I guess this is it, huh? Back to reality? 2114 01:45:01,962 --> 01:45:03,713 We shouldn't wait until the next reunion. 2115 01:45:03,880 --> 01:45:06,966 We should try to get together every year. 2116 01:45:07,092 --> 01:45:09,719 What do you say, until next time? 2117 01:45:09,803 --> 01:45:11,971 Until next time. Until next time! 2118 01:45:21,690 --> 01:45:22,982 (MIMICKING COUGH) I fucked Finch's mom. 2119 01:45:23,108 --> 01:45:24,400 What? 2120 01:45:24,526 --> 01:45:25,860 What was that? 2121 01:45:41,084 --> 01:45:43,335 (OPERATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 2122 01:46:43,897 --> 01:46:45,648 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 2123 01:46:47,943 --> 01:46:48,943 Hmm? 2124 01:46:49,611 --> 01:46:50,986 What's this? 2125 01:46:52,322 --> 01:46:54,073 Oh, no, dear. No, no, no. 2126 01:46:54,241 --> 01:46:56,075 No, dear. No! (UNZIPPING) 2127 01:46:56,159 --> 01:46:57,159 Oh! 2128 01:47:03,041 --> 01:47:04,041 Oh... 2129 01:47:04,793 --> 01:47:07,837 Oh. Oh. Oh. 2130 01:47:08,088 --> 01:47:11,423 Ah. Oh. Oh. 2131 01:47:11,842 --> 01:47:14,718 Oh, boy. Oh, boy! Oh, boy! 2132 01:47:14,928 --> 01:47:17,012 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 2133 01:47:17,681 --> 01:47:19,265 Oh! Oh! 2134 01:47:19,349 --> 01:47:21,392 Oh, my God! 2135 01:47:21,768 --> 01:47:23,185 Ah! (LAUGHING) 2136 01:47:25,981 --> 01:47:26,981 (SIGHS) 2137 01:47:27,399 --> 01:47:28,941 (CLEARS THROAT) 2138 01:47:29,109 --> 01:53:49,529 Great movie. 149724

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