Original subtitles

Autostrada del sole.

Italy's most important traffic artery.

For the transport companies with their huge trucks

it 's long since become the most important North-South interconnection.

However, this fact has not gone unnoticed by organised gangs.

Robberies are becoming increasingly common.

By the end of last year

the statistics already reported 6000 missing vehicles.

With cargoes worth over a thousand billion lire.

Particularly in demand are loads with medication, cigarettes or

consumer electronics products.

The inventiveness of these modern Highwaymen is ingenious.

They constantly change their tactics

and thus make a targeted approach almost impossible for the police.

CRIME ON THE HIGHWAY

Get out! Get out of the car!

What are you gonna do with me?

I have three small children at home. Please don't hurt me.

Shut your trap. Come on, don't bitch around.

Come on, come on. Hurry!

Hey, wait!

Help!

Help!

Robbery!

Uberfall!

He saw me and he's not stopping!

Are you sure that's true?

Sure, I'm not blind.

What do we do now? - We follow him. Let's go!

You're so smart. - Get out!

Why? - Because you want to run with the cash.

I didn't take anything from anybody. and I don't owe anyone anything.

Don't get UP!

Come on, let's get out of here.

What's happening here?

Stay calm my little children!

So...ouch!

Who was it?

It was the dry cleaner's son, Mommy

It's “dryer”! Come on, go to the other room.

Nico! Nico! I can't take it anymore. They're tearing the house down!

Nico, are you ready?

Come on, let's all sit down on the floor.

Quiet! Quiet! Oh, I can't do this anymore!

Thank you, thank you!

Calm, stay calm!

Calm.

Oh look who's here.

Filiberto the cat!

It is a special cat.

It won 1st prize for the mockingbird contest.

But Daddy. How's a cat supposed to win a mockingbird contest?

Because it ate the mockingbird who won the prize in the first place!

Need someone from the kind audience to help me with an experiment of high magic.

Me! Me! Pick me!

No no no.

I would like to have a lady for the number!

I would like to have a lady to help me with an experiment of high magic.

Mal an.“

Angelam

Angela!!!What?! What happened?

Were you asleep?

Me? Asleep? Are you insane?

Here she comes. Let her pass. Applause!

So...

A dice.

I'll put it on the lady's head.

Blue scarf.

Nothing on this side, nothing on this one.

Here.

Here, the lady and the dice.

I'll cover the dice.

And I cover lady, alright?

You can't see the dice, can you?

Here it goes!

High magic...

omeone's here, who do you think it is?

I don't know, turn around!

I'll go, Mom.

Happy birthday, Rocky

Thank you.

It's nothing.

Daddy! The pain in the ass is here!

Rocky, watch the language!

I am Chief Trentini!

I know, but Daddy always says you're a pain in the ass.

Ah, good boy.

Trenti' did you come here to screw with me again?

See?

Look Nico, please keep such nice words for someone else.

Oh don't get mad. I'm just saying you are a pain in the ass.

Nico, please come and finish the games. I can't stand these kids anymore.

Sorry Ma'am, but I need to talk to him about some very urgent stuff.

I took a day off for my son's birthday.

Which I never granted. Also, what's with the costume?

I'm doing this for the kids.

Ok Nico, but have a little dignity. You are a police officer.

Did you forget when you dressed up like a Hawaiian dancer for your daughter's birthday?

Ok but what does it have to do with this?

I didn't even want to come, I tried to phone.

But your phone's a mess. The line's always busy.

Do you mistake the phone for a nutcracker? Go play in the other room, will you?

Can't we talk tomorrow?

NNo, tomorrow's not good, not good at all.

There's an important meeting at the Board for...

Be good! Be good!

I was saying...

I can't hear jack shit.

Let's go over there.

Maybe the restroom's better. Come with me.

Hey! They're talking about some important stuff! Quit it!

Be good! Stay quiet! I'll be right back! Watch your hands

Nico, where should we sit?

Da Sie mir sicher einen Haufen ScheiBe verzapfen wollen, setzen Sie sich aufs Klo.

Ah, look Nico. We got another body on the Highway.

A truck driver. A certain Taruscio.

He had a load of medical supplies.

So?

So I went to the Chief of the Police.

He wants some results, and he wants them now.

So I thought...

Hold on, hold on. Do you think, I get involved and do all the work?

Hey what do you want? Don't joke around!

I'm not joking! I've had enough Trenti'!

I'm forty! I'm tired! I have family, and I want to spend time with my son.

I want holidays and you always screw me up!

Hold it! Let me finish.

You could act like a truck driver to get into the loop and then investigate.

This should be easy for you!

You have to find the murderer,

those plotting in the shadows,

who are the leaders

and who's the boss.

Just a trifle then.

Come on, you've done better in the past

Oh, what do you want?

I have to poop. - Ah, go poop.

Naturally you can't keep in touch with anybody for some time.

Neither with us, nor with your family.

Wow.

You wanna know who you will be?

Eh!

Luigi Rossi.

Luigi Rossi?

And you wanna know where you're supposed to work?

Eh!

You'll work at the Velox shipping company.

Velox... so let's recap.

I won't be allowed to be around anybody Not you, not my family. - Nobody.

I get it.

And... - and your name is... - Luigi Rossi.

Luigi Rossi. - And I will work for Velox.

Perfect! Here,

Here is your ID.

And this is $ 73,50 US for expenses.

Wow, I won the lottery.

Nico, don't mess around or I'll report it.

Look you have it all set up. You just did it all by yourself.

Trenti' can I ask you something? - Yes.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

I am Chief Trentini!

Hey, this is the voice of innocence!

The boxers from Ravenna slums!

They sure are the biggest bums!

The boxers from Casito!

We beat'em incognito!

We are the bestest far and wide.

Victory is our pastime!

Happy, Mr. Magliotti?

In 12 fights we won seven times by knockout.

Twice on points, and three draws.

All well and good, Senor Pipinello, but...

I still can't get over the theft of the gold medals.

I just don't understand, how something like this could happen.

It's really horrible these days.

Sometimes I'm afraid they'll steal the gold fillings out of my teeth.

Hey, driver. Pull over, please. I want to get out.

All right. Bye, boys.

See you at practice on Monday. Fresh as ever.

Monday is good!

Bye Pipinello. - Bye. - Bye Pipinello.

Mr. Rosenbaum.

What can you give me for this pretty gold medals?

Listen to me, is that any way to greet an old friend?

Pawing into people's pouches again?

I don't sell stolen goods. Fatty here knows that very well.

But he keeps coming back.

What?! I'll kill you!

I'll zero him. - Since when does the word "fatso" bother you?

In his homeland, his people are so scrawny that they rattle. So fatso is indeed a compliment.

But Inspector. What would you say ifl called you a pighead?

Say that again.

Say that again to my face.

But in my country, pighead is a delicacy.

Now shut your slobbering mouth, or you'll be at the grill this afternoon.

Stealing the medals from those poor guys who boxed their ankles sore.

Who have bloody noses!

Who are heading home on their last legs?

They hang the medals up at home. It's dead money.

I'm trying to boost the economy.

You're gonna make me cry.

Hey, Inspector, you used to be in this business, too.

Don't you remember when you were cracking cars?

You were the best of us all.

So turn a blind eye already.

I'll squeeze your blind eye.

Always on the little one.

That's the way I like it.

Hello, Rocky. Since when do you go to school in the afternoon?

Today, for example.

Monday, Tuesday, Friday.

And in February I'll be leaving again in the morning.

Can you even write yet?

Yeah, but my pen has a really bad quill.

D'Aquini, who is sitting next to me, has five different ones.

And they're all gold.

So steal one.

I'm not a thief. Remember that.

Did your Daddy teach you that? He always beats me, too.

Be careful that my hand doesn't slip. - Are you crazy?!

Leave my boy alone, or you'll have me to deal with.

Understand? - Yeah, it's okay. Give me that.

Put it on after I dry it for you. - Nobody likes me.

Angelaaaa!

Yeah, I'll be right there... I'll talk to you later.

WhV aré you laughing?

Was that so funny?

It's time. I have to go.

How long will you be gone?

A month or two.

That long?

What? It's not the first time, is it?

Yes, it seems to me that way.

When I took this job, I made a promise.

I, uh... I can't call you.

I got a new name, you know?

Luigi Rossi.

As of today, I'm a truck driver.

We all have ourjobs.

Do me a favor and stop crying now, ok?

I'm not crying for you. I'm crying because of the onions.

Dad, we have to go.

I'm gonna be late for school.

Dad!

Coming.

You'll drive me there, right?

Yeah, yeah, of course.

Come on, Rocky. Let's go.

Hey, Inspector. Could you give me a ride?

My tracksuit shrunk. I don't dare go out in the street.

Ha-ha. That's strong.

Do you know what an ass with ears looks like?

No, why? - Look at yourself in the mirror.

Hey, look. In the cinema they have now announced ROCKY III.

When you get back, we'll go there together, okay?

Macaroni swear.

Hey Daddy. When are you gonna do your new Rocky?

What do you mean?

It wasn't the stork that brought me here.

I saw the stork myself put you on the window sill.

You too?

No, they pulled him out of the dung heap with a pulley block.

But Inspector... - Stop drooling and get in the car.

Well, so long, Rocky.

Take care of your mama, okay?

You can count on me. Bye, Dad.

Hey Gianluca.

Daddy, this is Gianluca, my classmate.

Hi Gianluca.

And he's his father. He's very rich, he's not a poor devil like us.

Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too.

You're Rocky's Dad? My son always talks about Rocky's father who works in the Police.

You know, they have a Villa with a pool.

And he even has a personal helicopter.

Wow.

Well I...I work hard to afford all these things.

He works hard, you see?

That's why he has all that money. - Why do you have a beard?

Well, since I can't afford an helicopter, at least I have a beard.

But does he have a gun?

Sure he does!

Daddy show it to him.

No that's not possible. Also I have to go now.

Daddy has to leave for two or three months.

And you have to be a good boy.

You have to listen to Mom because you are the man in the house, ok?

Take care.

I get to sit on the big couch then and Mom will take my shoes off and put slippers on.

That'd be exaggerated! You'll have to help Mom.

Bye, give me a kiss. - Bye.

Bye Gianluca.

Bye Daddy!

Be a good boy. - Come back soon! Bye!

You are a very good man, aren't you?

You've got a Villa, you've got a helicopter. You've got such a car...

And yet you send your son to a public school.

I have to say quite impressive! It doesn't happen everyday.

He's going to become leader of this company.

And I want him to learn there. On public school's desks

Wonderful, wonderful...

I haven't been able to go to school.

Well there's still time if you want to. There are adults' schools.

I did go as an adult, but they threw me out.

Why's that?

I banged the teacher!

Bye, see you. - See you! Bye!

You know what?

Most of all, I'm going to miss spaghetti al pesto. Nobody makes them like Angela.

By the way, I forgot to tell you.

About the gold medals...

Oh, now I forget.

You wanted to give these medals for brainiacs back to your sport friends.

Yeah. That's it, Inspector.

You know, I'm looking for an elegant way to bring them back.

Maybe I'll drop it off at lost and found.

Or I'll send them by messenger.

Or even better, you get me a letterhead from police headquarters.

Then I could officially write to the club.

Was that wrong again?

How stupid do you think I am, you rotten little warthog?

Come on Inspector. Are we neighbors or not?

If you travel much longer on that left-hand tour, I'll give you notice.

You work-shy rascal!

I give you exactly 24 hours to return the silly stuff.

Can't you see I'm opening up all kinds of doors for you?

But the next one's the one from jail. I'm telling you!

You're taking this too hard, Inspector.

It's not stealing. It's just a trade.

I practically gave the amateur boxing club my experience.

And of course they have to pay for that.

Life is fucking expensive. Besides, I want to get married some day.

I met a certain Cinzia.

She's a golden bug. Her name is Bocconotti Cinzia.

What's her name?

Bocconotti Cinzia.

Hey, Cincia. Will you still work when you get married?

No. I made a deal with my chubby hubby that we'll work for three more years.

Then we'll open a store for religious paraphernalia.

Ah. That's great. That crap always works with the tourists.

Have a nice day. Kleenex. - No, thanks.

At least take me with you a little bit. - I'd like that. Where are you going?

I'll leave that to you. - Come on. Get in.

But you'll bring me back here.

I got a lot of work to do.

Because this place is very cheap.

By the way, my name is Bocconotti Cinzia.

My pleasure.

Aren't you a cutie pie?

The honking is starting to get on my nerves.

Maybe he wants my autograph.

Hey you!

Where are you going?

I'm going to Cremona. - Well, then get ready for something.

Everything is blocked off before Florence. There was a big accident.

It is best to leave the Autostrada before Florence in the direction of Rimini.

Hot tip. - Bye.

Fill it up! But don't pee in it. - Sure.

Excuse me.

Does this look familiar to you?

It fell out of your pocket.

Please take it.

All right? - But how is that possible?

Maybe someone bumped into you.

If you let it run in the front, you won't have as much feeling in the back. Makes sense.

Very kind of you.

All right. We'll go outside and have a little chat.

Come on, you flat-footed jellyfish. Be a nice boy and go with your uncle.

Let's make a right turn.

Didn't I tell you no more thieving?

Tell me something. You're working, right?

Then why the hell do you still have to steal? It's morbid.

What are you doing now, Inspector? Are you going to lock me up?

I can't lock you up.

Because I'm not a cop now.

I'm a truck driver now.

And you don't know me at all.

What do you mean, I don't know you?

Who's the one who beat my turnip a thousand times. You think I dreamed that?

Look, I'll explain it to you.

Starting today, July 15th, you'll act like you've never seen me before, okay?

May I at least greet you for Christmas?

We'll see about that.

Well, you mudfish...

Activate the few gray cells you have left.

From now on my name is Luigi Rossi.

Got it?

So what's my name?

Inspector Giraldi.

Are you looking for trouble or are you really a nutcase?

Two words! All I ask is that you remember two words. So what's my name?

Luigi Rossi! Luigi Rossi!

And now I go jogging with my boys after they have peed out.

Pretty hard to find such stupidity.

One-two. One-two. One-two.

And throw your arms up.

And raise your arms.

And always nice and easy...

Restaurant 'Falcon'

You know this one?

Mr and Mrs Casagrande are at an estate agent's to buy a house.

The painter praises the house in the highest tones.

He says 'This is a house for lovers, madam.'

And she says, 'Please don't talk so loud. My husband is jealous.'

That's a great joke.

If I was the realtor, I would have shown her the bedroom.

Luigi, where are you going?

Well, where am I going? I'm going to Cremona.

What have you loaded?

Noodles.

Then you have nothing to worry about, but I got a cart full of medicine.

You know what that means. - You're scared shitless.

Man, don't forget that the guy they killed at Padua had medicine, too.

Oh, you're talking crap. It wasn't about the cargo.

They slashed the fella because he was driving instead of his brother.

I don't get it. - Why don't you get it?

If Sergio had been driving that truck, some things would have been different.

Little Marcello was an honest man.

Too good for this life. But Sergio... that rascal!

What are you trying to say?

What can I say? Everybody knows that.

I'd better keep my mouth shut.

It's not even a secret anymore!

He was responsible for the last two robberies.

Nonsense. - This is wrong...

Calm down. We should stay out of this. This is Sergio's business.

He's half dead already anyway.

To your health.

I'm sorry, what do you mean half dead?

He came here with a chick, you know?

They have filled their bellies, and then they went to bed.

She was a hotty. Probably got a little carried away.

He had a heart attack. Can you imagine? - Poor bastard.

I tell you, boning is like swimming.

Not on a full stomach

Poor guy didn't have time to call his brother.

And then he got straight into this mess. - What was he supposed to tell him?

I'll give you three guesses what it was.

He should have told him that the truck is being taken over by the gangsters.

So Marcello got into a fight, and that's when they...

Who wants the check?

Nobody. We stay here. We're not leaving until tomorrow morning.

Hey, fellas. How about poker?

My feet keep falling asleep at poker.

What do you say we go to the movies?

There's a porno movie on. It's awesome.

But I'm not gonna tell you its story.

Hey, Mario. Can we borrow your car? We want to do something for our education.

We're going to the movies. Maybe we can learn something from them.

Go ahead.

Is there a discount for beautiful men?

Sure, but then you pay at least double.

Feisty Missy.

Do you have a license for your eyes?

What license?

You have beautiful eyes, just a little piercing, so I thought you might have a license for your eyes.

Now what? Shall we stand here and listen to you humming?

You guys go in and have a good time. - Bye.

Golly. Miss or Mrs.?

Miss.

Good. That's a start.

Don't you want to go to the movie?

What do I care about the fidgets when I see something like that in front of me?

...bleak. Here, one day is like another. And nothing ever happens.

I am exactly what they call a provincial maid.

You can imagine how confused I am, that

a man like you would be interested in me.

You are so kind.

At first I almost thought I had found the man of my dreams.

I'm not used to men like you complimenting women.

It's like a fairy tale. That such a thing still exists...

Here we are. This is where I live.

My apartment is small, but very intimate.

Hark. - If you want, I can make you something nice to eat.

Aha.

I have everything we need right here. Even champagne. You know what I mean.

Aha, something to bite.

Tell me, how do you make the ravioli? - How do I make it? With my hands, of course.

You know, I'm not hungry at all. Maybe some other time. - But... - Bye.

Bye.

We could have left out ravioli.

I beg your pardon. Of course I called the doctor.

Yes, absolutely sure.

He'll be here any minute.

Yes. Yesyes.

You just have to be patient for a few minutes, senora.

How dare you? What do you mean?

There are other patients here, you know what I mean?

But I'm telling you, he'll be right here.

No, no. Stay calm.

I called him. That's all I can say.

Excuse me.

What was that?

Hello? Anybody there?

Hello. Sergio, old boy.

Who are you?

How are you?

I'm a good buddy of your brother's.

Marcello? - Yes.

It's incomprehensible how he came up with the idea of driving the truck.

Tell me who did it, Sergio.

Then I will avenge him.

No.

That's absolutely out of the question.

I'll kill those bastards with my own hands.

Stay calm.

You need to get your pump fixed first.

I'll take care of it.

Maybe you're right.

But think it over carefully.

It's about...

What are you doing here? Who are you?

Excuse me, doctor. His wife is an old friend of mine.

And since I was in the neighborhood, she asked me to step by.

I mean, I owe it to an old buddy.

She said, Luigi, if you go to him

then ask him about a certain thing, that's between you and me.

Yeah, yeah, I understand. Nevertheless, I must ask you to observe visiting hours.

It'll only take a moment.

No, the patient has to undergo therapy. His life is at stake.

I'm sorry. Wait outside.

Well, let him do what he must. I'll wait.

Augusto, it's completely new to me that wheelchairs move by themselves

and get thrown against a wall.

I don't understand it either, Doctor.

Suddenly there was a bang and the chair was there.

Weren't you supposed to stop drinking?

I'm as sober as a swig of water.

And yet he moved.

I learned everything from the carabinieri of Orvieto.

Are you absolutely sure they killed him?

One hundred percent, chief.

He was about to blow the names in my ear.

Then they got in the way.

They've had him under surveillance for a while.

The trouble is, you work in secret missions.

Otherwise, you'd be the best witness ever in this case.

Yes. That's why you have to go to the front.

That's no problem for us.

These guys all work the same way.

But you should be careful.

If you run into them again, Arivederci, Toni Maccaroni.

Honey, I'd love to be in bed with you now

and suck you off.

You cute little piggy.

Bye.

Idiot.

Who was that? - Who was... ...who could it have been? A truck driver.

What does a truck driver want from you 5 o'clock in the morning?

What do you think he might want at 50' clock in the morning?

Don't ask. It's a secret.

Please sleep. Go back to sleep.

What about your fucked up car?

I have no idea what's wrong with it. It starts dancing at a hundred.

Ever try turning off the radio?

You should have told me sooner. Not now that we're breaking up.

Are you going to Lombardy?

Say, could you stop by my house on your way back.

In Rovereto you ask for me, and everyone will tell you where I live.

OK? I gotta go. I'm already late.

Bye. Bye, Luigi - All right, take care

How much?

3000.

No, how many years you've been here.

4 months.

Could you leave, please?

Hello?

Hello ?

Who is it?

Fucking asshole!

Like his father.

Hey, are you crazy? Where are you going?

Stay here, you bitch. You won't do that again!

Do what I tell you, understand?

Don't make a fuss, or you'll get it. - Let me go!

Get back in the car! - No!

I'll beat the shit out of you! - I'm not getting back in the car.

I'm warning you. Don't push me too far!

What do you want?

Does a good boy do that?

You're about to get one yourself.

You need a whupping, huh?

So, now you can put your brain on shore leave. Get out of here!

Did it hurt much?

A little.

Shall I accompany you? - Sure.

Have you known that dork for long?

Yeah. For about a year.

He helped me a lot once.

If it wasn't for him, I probably never would have started singing.

Oh, you're a singer?

Yeah, I sing.

Right out of your mouth? - Yes.

I wanna go to Bologna for a singing contest.

Ifl tell Patata that I took a singer to Bologna,

he's not gonna believe me.

Who is Patata?

Oh, a friend of mine.

Tell me, why did that guy hit you?

Ifl were him... - That's a pretty stupid story.

Because... - Because what?

Because he sells drugs.

And because he wants me to help him.

It's none of my business, but I'd forget that dumb-ass. It's no use.

What is your name?

My name is Anna. - Anna.

Say, uh...

Suppose I were to drive you straight to the competition in my luxury car,

may I come in then?

Yeah, if you feel like it.

After that group, it's my turn.

What?

After that group, it's my turn.

Do you think you'll win?

It's hard to say, but I hope so.

Everyone hopes so.

I hope I win, too.

Where do you want to win?

In love.

In love, it's mutual or none.

Mutual!

Why are you yelling? People must think you're talking to a deaf person.

I read somewhere when you talk to a deaf person

you really understand it takes only few words that are worth saying.

I need to say to you one of those things.

What's that?

I can't say it that like this. It would look like I'm selling artichockes at the street market!

Hello.

My friends...

Him again.

Thank you.

After the group ROCKFIRE I would like to introduce a new voice to you.

And you will agree with me: it's a voice like velvet.

My friends, may I ask to give a big hand for

Anna Danti.

Bravo.

Lonely top class.

Fantastic.

Ey! Bravo, Anna!

Bravo!

Yesss!

Let's celebrate.

Let's drink to the winner of the 18th Festival of the New Voice: Anna Danti.

A lot of hot air and no coal, huh?

No. Just a minute. I have the check in my pocket.

The artist has also been invited to dinner with the mayor.

No, I'm sorry. I have other plans.

Actually the presence of some other person wasn't planned.

For me a dinner invitation wasn't planned.

Here's what you can do: Take the rock singer with you.

He may not be an attractive woman, but at least he's patriotic.

Ah finally!

Here, give it to me, I'll keep it for you.

Yes please.

I made it, see?

You're so cute.

Say it again.

What?

Say it again.

What do you do now?

You mean what do WE do?

We? - Yeah.

I don't know, we could go to a restaurant

But I have to leave early for Cremona tomorrow.

You mean WE leave for Cremona.

I'm ok with it, but I don't know...

I don't see how someone who won 1st prize at “New Voices Festival”

itravels on a truck full of bucatini pasta and razor clams.

It's better this way, I'd like to avoid some bad encounters.

II'd say you already had the worst encounter.

What now?

I was thinking of a friend of mine.

What's with him?

Nothing.

He just lost his mind.

He's brain-dead.

He fell for some younger girls.

He's even married, he has a wife and a son.

He's not a kid.

His hair is starting to turn grey.

His belly...

is growing because he eats way too much garlic spaghetti... lots of it.

Eh...it's serious.

So what's with the drama?

It's that he can't leave his wife and son.

Look, I can't read palms, but I do read eyes.

Your friend's name is Luigi Rossi, isn't it?

Ah here we are.

His name is Luigi Rossi.

He's a truck driver and an asshole.

I can go if you want to.

I don't want you to leave.

Come.

You'll see, you'll like my buddy Carbone.

He's pleasant. I don't know his wife, but he's really all right.

Attention!

That's a reaction, huh?

With women and dogs I have to stop.

Oh. Are you suicidal?

Are you trying to kill yourself?

Go on. Get out of the street.

Come on. Go.

You wanna come with me, huh?

Ride in a real car?

Should I take him with me?

Yes.

OK. You win.

There. Nice and slow.

Here. Take him.

How thin he is.

What shall we call him?

Well, let's see.

Today's Monday. - Yes, it is.

Let's call him Monday. - Hello, Monday.

Monday. - Hello, Monday.

Oh, you're sweet.

This service is really antique. It cost a lot of money.

A porcelain that is properly gilded.

Please, Laura. That's no way to talk.

Hey, listen. You guys wanna spend the night here?

I've squandered so much, I won't make it to the car.

Yeah, but the food was really sensational.

Of course I made the ravioli myself.

How did you make these?

With your hands, of course.

Ah yes, of course.

You know what we're gonna do tonight?

We're going to a boxing match.

It's not far from here.

And then we'll go for a real drink afterwards.

Oh, yeah, some sinister bar.

The coach of the Roman boxing club is a friend of mine.

He lets us in for free.

Great. Tomorrow we'll sleep late and then I'll take you back to Rome.

I got a truckload of TVs to get to Abruzzo.

And for the two lovebirds we have two rooms with a connecting door.

Well, I hope I don't get lost.

Awesome. You'll find something to do.

At least I know what I'm gonna do.

Stop it now, Antonio. You know I can't stand that vulgarity.

Is that your friend?

Hello, Pipinello.

Listen, I'm here with three people I know very well. You let us through, right?

Who are you? I don't know you at all.

Have you run out of your little brain?

You do remember me.

No, I don't remember. - Oh, come on... - I think we have to pay.

Well, come with me.

What's the matter now? Where's he going with him?

So... - So what?

Do you or do you not know me?

Ifl know you, hit me. Ifl don't know you, you also hit me!

I can't laugh about that anymore.

How can you be so stupid?

As an inspector you shouldn't know me. But as Luigi Rossi, the truck driver.

Honestly, this is all too much for me.

But if you want to get in for free, go on.

Hey, my little shaggy-wuggy. Come to your beloved.

He probably thought you were driving to Rome without him. So he followed us.

My God! Such an ugly beast.

You're one to talk.

So what is it? Let's go inside or are we doing a dog show?

These gentlemen are my guests.

Yes Michelotti. Good!

Come see this Michelotti. He won't bring a leg to the ground.

Surely he won't get up later.

How come the boxers your friend trains all lose?

No idea.

After all, these meat balls have won some gold medals.

I saw that.

Chin up and keep your distance, Michelotti. Cheer up and go back!

And now to the liver. Yes, the liver!

Beat her soft!

Love the Venetian way!

Michelotti!

Don't you understand what I mean?

Oh no! You box like a wet fart!

Three years of top training, and I have to look at this disgrace.

Bravo, Michelotti.

Bravo!

Bravo! - How was I?

Apart from a few slips, you were brilliant, Michelotti.

He practically never even touched you.

He's probably blind in one eye.

I as your coach believe in you, and that gives you strength.

Pipinello! - What now?

I see black for your protégé!

You can scrape him off the ropes with your pocket knife tomorrow.

Go, Michelotti.

Remember what we said last night... - Give him a good thrashing already!

Show him, Michelotti!

Look, Antonio. What a huge chest he has.

That one? With his chicken breast?

He must be careful not to be mistaken for a chicken at the market.

How about the points?

If you knock him out a few more times now, it's a draw.

Why would you say something like that to him?

These empty pants are an imposition. Throw in the towel, man.

Michelotti was always in great shape. His right hand had the force of a bomb.

I've heard there are unexploded bombs among bombs.

You shouldn't have said that.

Oh Michelotti.

Oh Pipinello, Pipinello. This is already the third round we have lost.

Remember Peruggia.

I told you, if we lose, you don't get the dolly.

Look what they did to him. Makes you cry.

Our club is used to winning.

Who is to blame for this defeat?

The senorina, of course.

No! No!

Terrible. I suspected it, but maybe the lesson will do him good.

I want you to meet my fiancée.

Bocconotti Cinzia.

Because we're about to be married it would be awfully nice,

if you guys would play the best men. - When is this mischief supposed to happen?

Ijust have a few more things to do. I have to cash out my...

life- and unemployment insurance, etc.

Sure. She makes good money.

I'm gonna go check on Michelotti.

Excuse me.

You can't be too serious about what that guy just blurted out.

She's a decent girl. - Yeah, yeah.

A little revealing, but she's working.

She sells kleenex, lighters...

You're gonna make me cry. She's like an angel.

You should get yourself a nice halo for Xmas.

What does that mean?

That I drive to the nearest gas station.

Somehow your friends are likeable.

And above all, very generous.

Yes. Almost a little too generous.

Why? What do you mean, why?

Oh, please. A villa, one of those swimming thingies,

a maid, a gardener.

The bling on his old lady. And he's a truck driver.

Excuse me, but they could both come from rich families.

Rich family!

That's what those two look like.

Yet he bothers to drive every day on the Autostrada.

Why do you care so much about that?

Cause I wonder how the guy can afford a golden shithouse with that crappy pay

while I have to pee outside.

5000.

5000.

Call.

Me too.

3 queens.

I can put my 3 tens up in my pockets.

Pairs are useless.

I started with 2 Nines and it stayed like this.

If nobody lends me any money I can't play anymore.

Come on, I'll do it for you. Pick the cards.

The match's turning around.

Alright.

Guys, I'm out of money again, now if nobody gives me a credit...

Come on. I said I'll give it to you. Here, keep playing.

5000.

5000. - Call.

Just a minute.

How many cards?

Give me two.

Deal.

5000 more.

Plus 5000.

I'll pass.

Pass, fuck.

Pot's mine, excuse me...

Let's continue.

What? I'll have to sell my stick shift!

How much do I owe you?

300.000

When am I supposed to give it back to you?

There's no rush.

Next time you come back here we'll meet and you'll give it back to me, ok?

You're so unlucky.

It's not me, it's you.

You're so lucky, it's not even funny!

Hello, Carbone. - Hello, Franco.

Tell me, was it really necessary to get rid of Sergio Taruccio?

We have nothing to do with that story.

That was on a completely different tour, which our people don't drive at all.

Yeah? I did not know that.

Is it clear about the wire transfer? - Yes, to your account at the Bank of Parma.

Good.

I gotta stop playing these games.

I get the feeling they're not buying it anymore.

Tell that to the boss.

Don't tie me up too tight, okay?

Okay. That's enough.

Put the truck in the usual place, OK?

Here we are. I live just around the corner to the right.

Now what?

Now what? Goodbye.

What does goodbye mean? - Goodbye?

I can't think of anything else to say. You can't just blow me off like this.

Don't be angry with me, Luigi.

But I can't build a relationship on someone else's misfortune.

But what do you mean with "on someone else's misfortune"?

What do you know about my wife? What do you know about me?

It's easy for you. You spend a few nice days with me

...and I poor bastard can go to hell in low-flying. That's it.

What do you want? Shall we keep playing this game?

Of course we keep playing.

With a few trumps in our hands, we aren't going to throw the cards away after all.

You gotta give me time to get my shit together.

What about the dog? Do you keep him or should I take him with me?

No, give it to me. Then maybe you'll come back sooner.

You like that dog, don't you?

Actually I don't feel like driving out into the dark black night.

I'd much rather stay with you.

I should go to a dance tournament.

Dance if you have to.

A wonderful evening, a wonderful audience, an excellent orchestra are the

guarantees for an interesting tournament with great prizes for the best couple

in Mazurka Dancing.

And now I have the honour to introduce to you the members of ourjury.

Here we have the physics teacher Guilliani from Rome.

And then Professor Romanelli from Albano.

The teacher Santinelli from Rome,

and our secretary, Senora Coradini.

And also a very special guest is among us today:

The singer Anna Danti!

She won 1st prize at this year's Festival of the New Voice.

She also takes part in our dance tournament in Polka Mazurka dancing.

Let's hear it for Anna Danti.

Ladies and gentlemen. The jury will now begin their deliberations.

The pair with the number 64 receives the score 4-3-4.

Next up, couple number 44.

5-5-3

And now the evaluation for couple 21.

21, this is Anna Danti and her partner.

And the evaluation 10-10-10.

I don't think any other pair will reach that high.

Bravo, Anna!

Hello, my dear Luigi. How are you?

Can't complain, but they stole the car out from under you.

Oh, I'm used to grief. After all, it's not the first time.

How did it happen, huh?

How it happened?

They put a gun to my head, so I decided it was better

not to play the hero.

I can understand that.

Who on earth would want to voluntarily kick the bucket?

Besides, what's the point? The insurance has to pay anyway.

Tell me, how much do I owe you? I think it was 300 grand.

Yes. 300.

I have problems with my wife. I might get a divorce.

I have to pay for a lawyer and everything.

I'll give you 100,000 today.

And the rest when I'm out of trouble.

No way. Don't bore me with that. Pay me back when you feel better.

I'm not gonna starve to death.

Really nice. - Would you like a drink?

Yeah, something moist. - What do you want?

What do you got?

Just about everything.

Cognac, Whiskey, Grappa, Cielo, Wermut.

Zabaglione or sambuca?

Give me Maraschino.

I don't have any maraschino. - Then nothing.

Listen, Luigi.

What?

You are not a child of sorrow.

In our state, the only one who gets anything is the one who gets it.

Look at me. I stunk like a Sicilian mule.

My wife had to work as a cleaning lady.

And now, as you know, I'm doing great.

Yeah, I can see that.

If you wanted, you could have a house like this in a few years.

Maybe even bigger.

And a nice sum in the bank.

I'd rather see my hamster go to a peep show.

And how will that work?

It's quite simple.

What are you driving?

Drugs. I'll take them to Rome.

Fits perfectly. That's what we need.

I'll call the boss right now.

Sure you don't want anything? A coffee at least?

Yes, a coffee. - Okay, I'll make you some coffee.

But I want maraschino, okay?

Hey, I don't have any maraschino, I told you. - Then nothing. Forget it.

Tell me, Carbo. Who's your boss?

Doesn't matter who's boss.

As long as the money goes into your bank account.

How much is in there?

A lot of money. - How much? How much money in total?

Ten Million! - Ten Million!

That'd be nice.

I'd take half a million off of that

und mir'n Vorrat an Marschino anlegen.

Tell me what to do. I'll do it.

Behind Rovereto you'll notice a parked car.

Grey with a metallic effect, with the bonnet open, like a breakdown.

Let me get this straight:

To Rovereto. Grey car with metallic effect. Open hood. Like a breakdown.

Exactly. You stop and pretend you're trying to help.

Yeah, I got it. It's okay.

All you have to do then is enter your account number.

That's a good one, Carbo. Me and an account number.

When I got married, my wife was broke and so was I. Nothing has changed.

My wife went into town.

Until she comes back, we'll play a game of pool.

It's down in the hobby room.

Excuse me a moment.

Can I use your phone real quick?

You can do whatever you want. Pretend you're at home here.

Thanks.

Hello? - Anna? It's me, Luigi.

Hi, Luigi. I've been waiting for your call.

I couldn't wait to call you either.

If the wire wasn't so thin, I'd slide right through to you.

Luigi, are you there? What is it? Say something.

I'm sorry. Ijust thought I saw Santa.

It's pretty rare in the summer.

I'll be there as soon as I can. I can't stand it without you anymore.

I can't stand it without you either, my darling. I must see you.

And poor Montag is very sad too.

Every time he hears a truck, he goes crazy and starts barking.

He thinks it's you.

He's not eating anymore either. He wants to see you.

Sorry, Luigi. - Wait a minute.

I have to run an errand. Don't let me interrupt you.

I'll be back in less than an hour. Make yourself comfortable.

You can also jump in the pool if you feel like it. Ciao.

I'll do that. Ciao Carbo, ciao.

I'll call you later.

I... have to go out into the hostile world. Ciao. Ciao, sweetheart.

Luigi Rossi? - Yes.

We have opened an account for you at the bank of Sienna

and deposited 10 million.

OK.

Are you new?

No, I'm used.

Follow that car.

Get a little dirty on the floor. Then we'll tie you to the tree.

You want ants crawling up my ass?

Why should I get dirty and tied to a tree?

Don't you trust me?

Life is hard enough as it is. Don't you think so, my fat gummi bear?

Besides: the money is already fast asleep on the bank.

Pipe down some spaghetti, will you?

You're right. - That's what I said. - So let's go. - Ciao.

You drive the truck.

I've seen him somewhere before.

Who?

The truck driver.

Why? Is that something special?

Well, I don't know. There could be something wrong with it.

We must reload immediately. The medicine must be in Naples by evening.

Go! Hurry up.

Look out! Don't drop it.

Go, go! A little more speed! Come on.

Careful! Careful!

OK, done.

Close up again.

So? Who's driving the one with the goods? - I do. - Good, get lost.

We'll all meet up again like agreed, right? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All right, boys. Let's go.

Get in.

So today, I'll take...

the Confidential, Grand Hotel and LoVilla 2000. How much? - 3500.

Ciao, Rocky. - Ciao.

I heard you were at the pool. You must have been running around like rabid dogs.

It wasn't that bad, but if Giuseppe comes back,

I'm not going back in the water! He pees all the time.

But all children do pee in the water.

Yeah, but he pees off the 3 meter board, and that bugs me.

Senior Tarquini?

Thank you, Senior Tarquini, that you took Rocky with you.

Hey, look! That's Daddy!

There's Dad, dancing.

Senior Tarquini, this is the picture of... - Nonsense. Why would he be in the paper?

Come on, let's go.

Your Dad's a cop. Why would there be a picture of him in the paper?

So thanks again, Senior Tarquini. Goodbye.

It's all right. - Ciao. - Ciao, Rocky.

Ciao, ciao. - Goodbye.

It's me. Trentini.

Tony Maccaroni, the hottest pasta. Alias Luigi Rossi.

What's new?

They found my truck, right?

Yeah, but robbed.

I assisted quite a bit with that.

I know where they transship the goods. It's a factory building near Vetralla.

That's quite a lot.

Yeah, and paid for with hard drugs.

The one who plays the middleman is also the vice boss.

He dumps the stuff in a graveyard.

What do you think, Tony? Should we hit or should we wait?

It's still too early.

We'll take the rank and file left-handed.

But I want to feel to their boss.

Then we'll leave the drugs where they are for now.

You bet, Trenti. Dead men don't take dope.

I don't mind. Do what you think is right, but keep in touch, okay?

By the way, your wife is really mad at you.

She saw photos of you in some grease sheet.

What do you think? Should I talk to her?

Explain everything to her?

No, there's nothing to explain.

It's nothing serious, I hope, Tony.

Trenti, mind your own fucking business.

I told you everything. Confession's over. Get lost.

You're very lovely again today.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I'm married with a wonderful man. Still I cheat on him permanently.

With an insurance agent, a mechanic, the mailman,

the caretaker and the colonel on the third floor

It... it's not my fault.

It's like... like a disease. I can't fight it.

It's like a compulsion.

I'm so sorry for my husband, too.

What am I to do, Father?

Let me give you some advice, my daughter.

Go to Bologna on the 15th of the month.

Why? What's there in Bologna on the 15th?

There's a cattle market. There's more stupid cows like you.

You swamp hen!

Hello Luigi.

Get in.

How are you doing?

Ah, now I feel fantastic.

I need to talk to you, Anna.

The most important thing for me is that you're here.

Well, I... uh...

I... ...have some work to do, it takes about 8-10 days...

I... uh...

I'll take care of it, and then I'll come right back.

And after...

we'll leave here together.

And your wife?

Well, my wife...

I think she'll understand.

Besides, I think she already suspects what's going on.

And your son?

He's too small.

I'll explain it to him someday.

Fine with me. As long as you're with me.

I need you.

And your work?

My work? I know a record studio in Milan.

They sent me a contract.

I must decide within 14 days.

But I'm not sure yet.

I'm so... I don't know...

It'd be a stepping stone to your career.

It would be the best thing for my career.

But...

Now you're here.

Yes. And how! But what's stopping you?

Career and love do not mix well.

You mean that? - Mm.

Swear it. - I swear.

Give me a kiss.

You're cute.

What do you want? I haven't loaded anything.

Follow that car, go!

The wagon is empty. I don't even have an aspirin.

This time it's not about the load, but about the driver.

Finally, I matter too.

Bullshit! Let's go!

So?

What should I call you, huh?

As Luigi Rossi, the truck driver?

Or Inspector Tony Giraldi of Police Squad?

I leave it all up to you, asshole.

You know, I could have had you killed on the highway.

A shot in the head and good night!

But I had you brought here because I want to kill you myself, pig.

Nice work.

You know what I do?

I'll cut your head off and send it to your old lady.

If I'm going to die anyway, you can tell me. Who's the boss?

You yourself do not have the format.

Oh? The boss?

He picks up your son from school sometimes.

Thanks to that kid, you're blown.

He showed the boss the picture of you dancing with a girl.

And... don't fall asleep. We don't do jogging for retired people!

Nice and easy on the legs!

Forwa rd!

Isn't that our friend's dog?

Come on over here.

That's him, Michelotti, isn't it?

Yeah, I think so.

Well, there's his truck.

We and many others think the same.

No longer will we slave away for a pittance like slaves.

We want to enjoy our lives as much as the rich do.

You're not gonna fuck this up for us.

Get them, boys!

Break every bone in their bodies!

That's good training for you. Show them what you learned from me!

Come here! Then I'll let your air out.

Let go of my arm, you fucker!

A real gym. You're mine.

Keep up the good work, boys. Bust those guys' heads!

Help! I got hit in the eye.

Hey! Where am I?

Come on!

I already know that box.

To the liver! To the spleen!

I think I'm crazy. That was a slap.

Hey, what's that? Vigorello?

A magic potion.

Hey! Where do you want the piano?

Take a sip of Vitorello, and you'll be strong as Pipinello.

Who's next?

Let me at it!

A shot of Vitorello, and I'll take this whole place apart.

How? Is there one left?

In the pit!

You, too.

Ah, that was the last one.

Now get out. They're starting to smell.

Inspector.

You owe it all to this cute little pinscher

that we found you in here.

You're a real friend.

Now I owe you a slap.

Does that mean that I won't be seeing...

Right! Shall I write it down for you?

Can I then please also get the two letterheads from police headquarters?

Can you read palms?

Take a good look at the palm lines.

What does it say?

What do you want?

Two sheets with the letterhead of the police headquarters.

It's supposed to be good for the brain.

Are you finished, or is something else coming?

No, my hands are all greasy.

It's getting out of hand.

Pipinello, do me a favor.

When you come to Rome, bring my son the dog, will you? - Yeah.

What about you? Aren't you going to Rome?

I'm away on business, Fatty.

There's a couple hundred years in jail.

But if my eye doesn't deceive me, there's one missing. - Who's missing?

If the boss is not in the pit, the Tony has to hurry like shit.

Old folk saying. Ciao, Pipinello.

Ciao, Inspector.

If you don't mind,

I call the police and tell them they can pick up the stolen goods.

But I told you we weren't expecting this.

Who knew those bastards would show up there by chance!

No. We don't have time for this anymore.

So the usual meeting place in an hour.

I'll get the stuff, and then we'll hit the road together.

Things are getting dicey.

Fortunately the nearest telephone is more than 20km away from the hall.

I just have to call my wife. - Don't bother!

Bravo, Tony.

Hello, Trentini.

Good thing you can fly a helicopter, too.

But I've always said it: Being mobile is everything.

Come on. Laugh a little. You were great. Sensational.

What do you want? A medal?

No, a coffee instead. - Yes, of course. Come, let's go. - But with maraschino.

A golden shithouse, but no maraschino in the house. Those philistines...

You're not going home?

Na...

It's a nice area here. I'm renting a room there.

I don't like hysterical scenes.

Especially if they're justified.

Excuse me! If your wife is right, why don't you call her?

You're slobbering too much again, Trenti.

It won't work with me.

Do what you want.

Hello, Rocky.

What's the matter with you, Rocky?

Why don't you say something?

I'm glad you're here.

I need to talk to you. That's why I asked Trentini to...

Dad, I have to talk to you too, but first you come home...

What's the matter with you?! Are you scared to come home?

A little bit.

Are you coming now?