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1
00:00:09,482 --> 00:00:10,724
- Aha!
- [grunts]
2
00:00:10,793 --> 00:00:12,034
- Aha.
3
00:00:12,103 --> 00:00:14,344
- You better start talking.
- You missed me!
4
00:00:14,413 --> 00:00:16,000
I'm gonna dodge every blow.
5
00:00:16,068 --> 00:00:17,965
- [grunting]
6
00:00:18,034 --> 00:00:19,103
Tell me.
7
00:00:19,172 --> 00:00:21,724
- [laughing]
8
00:00:21,793 --> 00:00:24,724
[exciting music]
9
00:00:24,793 --> 00:00:26,827
♪ ♪
10
00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:28,034
Huh?
11
00:00:28,103 --> 00:00:29,275
- Tell me where that demon is,
12
00:00:29,344 --> 00:00:30,793
or I'll slice you in half.
13
00:00:30,862 --> 00:00:32,931
- Demons?
I don't know any demons.
14
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,310
- I know you helped him.
15
00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:37,172
Your foul slime was all over
the doorknob to his cave.
16
00:00:37,241 --> 00:00:38,793
- I ain't no snitch.
17
00:00:38,862 --> 00:00:41,448
Eh, who puts a door
on a cave, anyway?
18
00:00:41,517 --> 00:00:43,551
- Tell me where that demon is,
19
00:00:43,620 --> 00:00:46,344
or I'll get to see
what you had for breakfast.
20
00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:48,448
- I had a sunrise scramble
on toast points.
21
00:00:48,517 --> 00:00:49,965
[mystical whooshing]
22
00:00:50,034 --> 00:00:51,172
- Brendar.
23
00:00:51,241 --> 00:00:53,758
Unhand that serpent at once.
24
00:00:53,827 --> 00:00:55,413
- Really? Now?
25
00:00:55,482 --> 00:00:57,000
I was just at my big finish.
26
00:00:57,068 --> 00:00:59,758
- I didn't appear
in a magical vision
27
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:01,413
to argue with you.
28
00:01:01,482 --> 00:01:03,172
- [sighs]
But Queen Shimmerian,
29
00:01:03,241 --> 00:01:04,793
I spent, like, three days
30
00:01:04,862 --> 00:01:06,689
tracking this serpent
to his lair.
31
00:01:06,758 --> 00:01:09,034
- [chuckles]
- That was three days
32
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:12,655
you should have spent
maintaining the Royal Order.
33
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,172
- Ugh.
34
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,379
- You keep going on these
pointless quests.
35
00:01:16,448 --> 00:01:17,793
- They aren't pointless.
36
00:01:17,862 --> 00:01:18,965
- Yeah, except they are.
37
00:01:19,034 --> 00:01:21,482
- [grunting]
- Ow, ow. Ow, ow, ah!
38
00:01:21,551 --> 00:01:22,896
- What's the
princess-warrior's
39
00:01:22,965 --> 00:01:26,448
most important job
in her life?
40
00:01:26,517 --> 00:01:28,241
- To smile while
cutting ribbons
41
00:01:28,310 --> 00:01:29,793
at solstice festivals.
42
00:01:29,862 --> 00:01:30,655
- Exactly.
43
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,620
- Oh, wow, that's essential.
44
00:01:32,689 --> 00:01:34,551
- [scoffs] If all we're meant
to be is ribbon cutters,
45
00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:36,655
why do you train us
to be warriors?
46
00:01:36,724 --> 00:01:39,482
- To make you strong
so you can be self-sufficient
47
00:01:39,551 --> 00:01:41,896
yet completely dependent
at the same time.
48
00:01:41,965 --> 00:01:44,482
- But Queen, the demon Alvin
killed my mother
49
00:01:44,551 --> 00:01:46,344
and took my brother Kendar.
50
00:01:46,413 --> 00:01:48,241
He's the only family
I have left.
51
00:01:48,310 --> 00:01:50,517
- Wow.
That's a lot of exposition.
52
00:01:50,586 --> 00:01:52,034
- We should be your family.
53
00:01:52,103 --> 00:01:54,586
And I've had enough
of your shenanigans.
54
00:01:54,655 --> 00:01:57,344
- How did you find out
about my shenanigans?
55
00:01:57,413 --> 00:02:00,689
- I see all!
56
00:02:00,758 --> 00:02:02,448
And someone ratted you out.
57
00:02:02,517 --> 00:02:04,068
- It was I.
- [gasps]
58
00:02:04,137 --> 00:02:06,103
[both chuckle]
- Hey, gossip girls.
59
00:02:06,172 --> 00:02:08,551
Wanna know what it really
feels like to be stabbed
60
00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,103
in the back?
- Ow! Ow-ow!
61
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,413
- Oh, you're fine.
62
00:02:11,482 --> 00:02:14,310
- You've had so many
"secret quests"
63
00:02:14,379 --> 00:02:17,241
that the people of Gothmoria
have given you a slogan.
64
00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:18,482
- Ooh, what it is?
65
00:02:18,551 --> 00:02:20,448
Over five billion severed?
66
00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:22,482
- You are known to be feared
67
00:02:22,551 --> 00:02:24,931
and revered
throughout the land.
68
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,068
- Oh, it rhymes.
69
00:02:26,137 --> 00:02:27,413
- You're a loose cannon,
Brendar.
70
00:02:27,482 --> 00:02:29,620
Therefore,
I'm taking your sword...
71
00:02:29,689 --> 00:02:30,758
- [gasps]
- Sparkly tunic...
72
00:02:30,827 --> 00:02:32,034
- [gasps]
- And your sensible
73
00:02:32,103 --> 00:02:33,413
soled footwear.
74
00:02:33,482 --> 00:02:34,965
- No!
- Yes.
75
00:02:35,034 --> 00:02:36,724
I'm demoting you
back down to...
76
00:02:36,793 --> 00:02:39,241
- Moat duty?
- Worse.
77
00:02:39,310 --> 00:02:40,620
Barbarian.
78
00:02:40,689 --> 00:02:42,931
- But then how will I be able
to rescue my brother?
79
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:47,655
- May Brendar be an example
to every warrior-princess:
80
00:02:47,724 --> 00:02:51,068
disobey your queen,
you'll be shunned
81
00:02:51,137 --> 00:02:53,310
and cut from the family.
82
00:02:53,379 --> 00:02:55,000
Like a ribbon.
83
00:02:55,068 --> 00:02:56,344
[both chuckle]
84
00:02:56,413 --> 00:03:00,103
[magical whooshing]
85
00:03:00,172 --> 00:03:02,206
- [sighs]
86
00:03:02,275 --> 00:03:04,965
Hey.
She forgot to take my sword.
87
00:03:06,206 --> 00:03:08,000
- Yoink.
- [gasps]
88
00:03:08,068 --> 00:03:09,344
[sighs]
89
00:03:09,413 --> 00:03:10,689
She kicked me out of the Order.
90
00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:13,379
She took my boots and my sword.
91
00:03:13,448 --> 00:03:15,137
I loved that sword.
92
00:03:15,206 --> 00:03:17,310
- [laughing]
93
00:03:17,379 --> 00:03:19,000
So how do you think
you're gonna
94
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:21,172
slice me in half now,
barbarian?
95
00:03:21,241 --> 00:03:22,517
- I'll show you.
96
00:03:22,586 --> 00:03:24,620
[grunts]
- Wha?
97
00:03:24,689 --> 00:03:26,517
What's happening?
98
00:03:26,586 --> 00:03:28,206
That's not good.
99
00:03:28,275 --> 00:03:29,793
[triumphant rock music]
100
00:03:29,862 --> 00:03:31,620
- Uh, okay, hold on,
wait, wait, wait--
101
00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:34,724
- [grunting]
- Ow! Oof! Uh! Yow!
102
00:03:34,793 --> 00:03:36,482
- I'll ask you again.
- Ow!
103
00:03:36,551 --> 00:03:38,172
- Where is the demon Alvin?
104
00:03:38,241 --> 00:03:39,758
- All right, fine.
105
00:03:39,827 --> 00:03:43,448
Last I saw, he was headed
to the jungles of Ganthor.
106
00:03:43,517 --> 00:03:45,586
But you'll never defeat him;
he's too strong.
107
00:03:45,655 --> 00:03:47,310
- I'm pretty strong too.
108
00:03:47,379 --> 00:03:48,586
- Huh?
109
00:03:48,655 --> 00:03:50,000
- [grunts]
- No, no, no, no, no, no!
110
00:03:50,068 --> 00:03:51,896
Yee-ouch!
111
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:58,689
♪ ♪
112
00:04:00,689 --> 00:04:01,758
Eh, I'm okay.
113
00:04:01,827 --> 00:04:05,275
- Brendar the Barbarian, huh?
114
00:04:05,344 --> 00:04:08,517
That has a nice ring to it.
115
00:04:08,586 --> 00:04:10,758
- ♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh ♪
116
00:04:10,827 --> 00:04:13,655
♪ The Barbarian
and the Troll ♪
117
00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:17,172
- "On another personal quest
118
00:04:17,241 --> 00:04:20,172
"to amend her complicated
and mysterious backstory,
119
00:04:20,241 --> 00:04:23,172
"Brendar the Barbarian
defeated a large serpent
120
00:04:23,241 --> 00:04:24,758
with her bare hands?"
121
00:04:24,827 --> 00:04:26,103
- Hey, can you
check the sports page?
122
00:04:26,172 --> 00:04:28,793
I wanna see who won
in the Giants versus the Bears.
123
00:04:28,862 --> 00:04:30,413
- The Giants crushed the Bears.
124
00:04:30,482 --> 00:04:31,655
- Aw, come on!
125
00:04:31,724 --> 00:04:34,137
That's a sack of coin
I'll never see again.
126
00:04:34,206 --> 00:04:37,931
- Don't you cross my bridge
without paying a toll!
127
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,655
Surrender your silver
or surrender your life!
128
00:04:41,724 --> 00:04:45,000
- Show yourself,
mighty tollbooth operator.
129
00:04:46,862 --> 00:04:50,241
- Um, technically,
I'm a troll-booth operator.
130
00:04:50,310 --> 00:04:53,620
Uh, either way, I've gotta
collect a silver piece.
131
00:04:53,689 --> 00:04:55,206
- Aw, come on, mister.
132
00:04:55,275 --> 00:04:56,724
My ol' goat has a bum hip,
133
00:04:56,793 --> 00:04:58,965
so we can't wade through
the stream like we used to.
134
00:04:59,034 --> 00:05:00,482
- Body-shaming your goat's
not gonna help.
135
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:01,896
I gotta collect a toll.
136
00:05:01,965 --> 00:05:03,724
Troll king's rules, not mine.
137
00:05:03,793 --> 00:05:05,827
- Let me at him! Let me at him!
- [grunting]
138
00:05:05,896 --> 00:05:07,724
- Get ready to butt heads,
butthead!
139
00:05:07,793 --> 00:05:08,827
- Uh-oh.
- [laughs]
140
00:05:08,896 --> 00:05:10,241
You made Helen mad,
141
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,241
and you don't wanna deal
with a cranky goat.
142
00:05:12,310 --> 00:05:14,103
- Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.
143
00:05:14,172 --> 00:05:15,413
No need for violence.
144
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,862
All right,
I'll make you a deal.
145
00:05:16,931 --> 00:05:18,413
Um. Ooh.
146
00:05:18,482 --> 00:05:19,758
I'll play you a song,
147
00:05:19,827 --> 00:05:20,793
and then
if you leave a donation,
148
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:23,275
I'll consider the toll paid.
149
00:05:23,344 --> 00:05:24,517
- Well.
- Eh.
150
00:05:24,586 --> 00:05:25,965
- Guess so.
- Ooh.
151
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,448
[smacks lips]
Here goes.
152
00:05:28,517 --> 00:05:32,344
♪ Bridge life, bridge life ♪
153
00:05:32,413 --> 00:05:34,275
♪ No one will pay me ♪
154
00:05:34,344 --> 00:05:37,896
♪ No one will save me
from damp pants ♪
155
00:05:37,965 --> 00:05:40,517
♪ Or flesh-eating ants ♪
156
00:05:40,586 --> 00:05:42,103
♪ No one's afraid of me ♪
157
00:05:42,172 --> 00:05:44,448
♪ My father's ashamed of me ♪
158
00:05:44,517 --> 00:05:48,310
♪ Bridge life, bridge life ♪
159
00:05:48,379 --> 00:05:50,413
♪ Bridge life ♪
160
00:05:50,482 --> 00:05:53,034
♪ Bridge life ♪
161
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,068
♪ Ee-ba-be-ba-dee-ba-dee
bridge ♪
162
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:56,896
♪ Wa-dee-der-dee-dee-ber-dee
life ♪
163
00:05:56,965 --> 00:06:00,448
♪ Once upon a time
in a land far away ♪
164
00:06:00,517 --> 00:06:01,827
♪ I don't know what happened ♪
165
00:06:01,896 --> 00:06:03,862
♪ 'Cause I'm under a bridge
all day ♪
166
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:07,448
♪ Bridge life, bridge life ♪
167
00:06:07,517 --> 00:06:09,172
♪ Bridge life ♪
168
00:06:09,241 --> 00:06:10,931
♪ Smidge life ♪
169
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,793
Yeah!
[chuckles]
170
00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:16,931
- That was just awful.
- [groans]
171
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,586
- Yeah, I feel like
you owe me money now.
172
00:06:19,655 --> 00:06:21,724
- [sighs]
That was my best song.
173
00:06:21,793 --> 00:06:22,862
- Well, now we know
the problem.
174
00:06:22,931 --> 00:06:24,724
- Your songs are super boring.
175
00:06:24,793 --> 00:06:26,724
- Yeah, you need
to get out there.
176
00:06:26,793 --> 00:06:29,172
- Get you some life experience.
177
00:06:29,241 --> 00:06:30,758
- All right.
178
00:06:30,827 --> 00:06:33,517
That review was both
hurtful and constructive,
179
00:06:33,586 --> 00:06:34,586
but you know what?
180
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,689
Reviews don't count as payment.
181
00:06:36,758 --> 00:06:38,379
[machinery whirring]
182
00:06:38,448 --> 00:06:41,931
[grunting]
183
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,275
Ah.
184
00:06:43,344 --> 00:06:44,551
[clears throat]
185
00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:47,000
By the power vested in me
by the Troll King,
186
00:06:47,068 --> 00:06:50,310
Your bridge access is denied.
187
00:06:50,379 --> 00:06:51,620
- Ah!
188
00:06:51,689 --> 00:06:53,172
You know what to do, Helen.
189
00:06:53,241 --> 00:06:55,758
Head down,
aim for the doughy midsection.
190
00:06:55,827 --> 00:06:57,379
[dramatic music]
191
00:06:57,448 --> 00:07:00,620
- [stammering]
192
00:07:00,689 --> 00:07:01,620
[Helen bleats]
193
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,448
- [yelling]
194
00:07:03,517 --> 00:07:06,655
[grunting]
195
00:07:07,931 --> 00:07:10,310
- You should get out
and see the world.
196
00:07:10,379 --> 00:07:12,206
Might help your songs.
197
00:07:12,275 --> 00:07:15,517
- Hit up my goat yoga class
and tighten that core.
198
00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:18,344
Honestly, it was like
headbutting a bag of pudding.
199
00:07:18,413 --> 00:07:20,172
[tense music]
200
00:07:20,241 --> 00:07:21,379
- [sighs]
201
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,172
- [playing mournful tune]
202
00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:29,448
♪ This bridge ♪
203
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:32,965
♪ Has left a stain
upon my soul ♪
204
00:07:33,034 --> 00:07:35,862
♪ How could you ever
understand ♪
205
00:07:35,931 --> 00:07:39,655
♪ The pain of a troll? ♪
206
00:07:40,689 --> 00:07:42,724
Oh, yeah, now I hear it.
207
00:07:42,793 --> 00:07:44,413
That little girl
and her goat were right.
208
00:07:44,482 --> 00:07:46,931
My lyrics are so limited.
209
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,793
I gotta get out
from under this bridge.
210
00:07:48,862 --> 00:07:50,620
I gotta put myself out there.
211
00:07:50,689 --> 00:07:52,103
- I heard you got
your butt kicked.
212
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,137
- Wha?
213
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,275
[grunts]
214
00:07:54,344 --> 00:07:55,448
[dramatic music]
215
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,724
Ah! Your Majesty.
216
00:07:57,793 --> 00:07:59,655
- A troll
doesn't let anyone cross
217
00:07:59,724 --> 00:08:01,379
without collecting a toll.
218
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:04,241
No matter what. It's our thing.
219
00:08:04,310 --> 00:08:06,931
- But Dad,
it was two against one!
220
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,310
- A preteen
and a goat named Helen?
221
00:08:10,379 --> 00:08:11,862
- Wha?
222
00:08:11,931 --> 00:08:13,172
Whoa, that was fast.
223
00:08:13,241 --> 00:08:15,482
- This bridge belonged
to your grandfather.
224
00:08:15,551 --> 00:08:17,068
He used to terrify villagers
225
00:08:17,137 --> 00:08:18,758
throughout Gothmoria.
- Here we go.
226
00:08:18,827 --> 00:08:21,034
- Mounted knights
would poop their armor
227
00:08:21,103 --> 00:08:22,655
just to try to avoid
crossing here.
228
00:08:22,724 --> 00:08:24,103
- Yeah, how would that help?
229
00:08:24,172 --> 00:08:27,413
- And now you've turned it
into a lute lounge!
230
00:08:27,482 --> 00:08:29,724
- Yeah. Sorry, Dad.
231
00:08:29,793 --> 00:08:31,448
[somber music]
232
00:08:31,517 --> 00:08:34,000
- [sighs]
233
00:08:34,068 --> 00:08:36,103
[grunts]
234
00:08:36,172 --> 00:08:39,241
I guess I was too
overprotective as a father.
235
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,931
Maybe I should've
let your mother eat you
236
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,413
when you were a baby.
237
00:08:42,482 --> 00:08:44,137
- Well, she still tries
to eat me all the time.
238
00:08:44,206 --> 00:08:46,068
- That's a troll mother's
prerogative, son.
239
00:08:46,137 --> 00:08:47,482
- Yeah, but she keeps giving me
240
00:08:47,551 --> 00:08:49,758
flagons of barbecue sauce
marked "body splash"
241
00:08:49,827 --> 00:08:50,724
for my birthdays.
242
00:08:50,793 --> 00:08:52,689
- Yeah.
243
00:08:52,758 --> 00:08:55,379
- So Dad,
can I ask you a question?
244
00:08:55,448 --> 00:08:56,689
- Here we go.
245
00:08:56,758 --> 00:08:58,965
- What if my future
were more about music
246
00:08:59,034 --> 00:09:02,517
and less--mm--bridge-oriented?
247
00:09:02,586 --> 00:09:04,965
- Less bridge-oriented?!
248
00:09:05,034 --> 00:09:06,689
You're a troll prince!
249
00:09:06,758 --> 00:09:08,586
This bridge is your blood!
250
00:09:08,655 --> 00:09:10,655
- It's your blood, not mine!
251
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:12,344
I need to put myself out there,
252
00:09:12,413 --> 00:09:14,103
maybe go on a journey
or something.
253
00:09:14,172 --> 00:09:16,310
- [laughing]
Unbelievable.
254
00:09:16,379 --> 00:09:18,862
You really think you're gonna
get somewhere in life
255
00:09:18,931 --> 00:09:21,034
plucking that
little lute of yours?
256
00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:23,448
- [scoffs]
Jesters pluck, Dad.
257
00:09:23,517 --> 00:09:25,413
I strum!
- Ha!
258
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,862
- And if you ever listened,
259
00:09:26,931 --> 00:09:28,896
you'd probably give me
a very positive review,
260
00:09:28,965 --> 00:09:30,827
but you never listen!
261
00:09:30,896 --> 00:09:33,620
- I'm a king!
I don't listen to no one!
262
00:09:33,689 --> 00:09:35,068
Look, you were born
263
00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:37,448
a Royal Keeper
of the Bridges of Gothmoria.
264
00:09:37,517 --> 00:09:42,413
- Oh, for the last time,
I am a music guy!
265
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:44,724
I am not a bridge guy.
266
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:47,137
But if you can't see that,
267
00:09:47,206 --> 00:09:49,448
[voice breaking]
well, then maybe I should go.
268
00:09:49,517 --> 00:09:50,827
- Don't do this, Evan.
269
00:09:50,896 --> 00:09:53,896
Don't throw it all away
for dreams and feelings!
270
00:09:53,965 --> 00:09:56,655
If you leave this bridge now,
young man,
271
00:09:56,724 --> 00:09:58,551
don't expect to come back.
272
00:09:58,620 --> 00:09:59,793
Ever.
273
00:09:59,862 --> 00:10:02,827
- [gasps]
Yes, Your Majesty!
274
00:10:02,896 --> 00:10:06,000
[sobbing]
275
00:10:08,344 --> 00:10:10,620
- You literally
just burned a bridge.
276
00:10:10,689 --> 00:10:14,103
[flames crackling]
277
00:10:14,172 --> 00:10:16,517
What's this place made of,
anyway?
278
00:10:16,586 --> 00:10:18,137
Matchsticks?
279
00:10:18,206 --> 00:10:21,275
[unsettling string music]
280
00:10:21,344 --> 00:10:28,379
♪ ♪
281
00:10:28,620 --> 00:10:30,379
[indistinct chatter]
282
00:10:30,448 --> 00:10:32,586
- Still good on that flagon?
- Oh, yes, sir.
283
00:10:32,655 --> 00:10:34,068
- All right, I'll bring
your check in a jiff.
284
00:10:34,137 --> 00:10:35,034
- Sure.
285
00:10:36,241 --> 00:10:38,517
- [sighs]
What can I get you?
286
00:10:38,586 --> 00:10:41,034
- Gee, I don't know.
287
00:10:41,103 --> 00:10:43,827
I just got kicked out
of the Royal Order,
288
00:10:43,896 --> 00:10:45,862
lost my favorite sword,
289
00:10:45,931 --> 00:10:49,482
had to fight a band of goblins
for a new one,
290
00:10:49,551 --> 00:10:51,758
haven't slept in four nights,
291
00:10:51,827 --> 00:10:54,000
and I don't like
a lot of sauces!
292
00:10:54,068 --> 00:10:56,034
What do you recommend?
293
00:10:56,103 --> 00:10:58,275
- Well, the chicken's
not that spoiled.
294
00:10:58,344 --> 00:11:00,931
- [sighs]
I'll have that.
295
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,965
- One Attila the Hen, dry!
296
00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:05,862
- Order up!
One chinchilla muffin, fried!
297
00:11:05,931 --> 00:11:08,413
[curious music]
298
00:11:08,482 --> 00:11:09,655
- Ugh.
299
00:11:09,724 --> 00:11:10,965
Hey, Kyle.
300
00:11:11,034 --> 00:11:12,517
You didn't return any
of my carrier pigeons.
301
00:11:12,586 --> 00:11:13,758
- I've been busy.
302
00:11:13,827 --> 00:11:15,275
Cooking the carrier pigeons.
- What?
303
00:11:15,344 --> 00:11:16,827
- They were
yesterday's specials.
304
00:11:16,896 --> 00:11:18,344
- Oh. Uh, okay.
305
00:11:18,413 --> 00:11:19,586
Well, have you given
any more thought
306
00:11:19,655 --> 00:11:21,206
to me performing here?
307
00:11:21,275 --> 00:11:22,620
- Oh, look, kid.
308
00:11:22,689 --> 00:11:24,000
This just isn't the place
309
00:11:24,068 --> 00:11:25,827
for you to be playing
your peppy little songs, okay?
310
00:11:25,896 --> 00:11:27,241
So move along.
311
00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:28,413
- Well, hold on.
312
00:11:28,482 --> 00:11:29,724
Not all my songs are peppy!
313
00:11:29,793 --> 00:11:32,000
I got a bunch that are
really depressing.
314
00:11:32,068 --> 00:11:34,137
- [sighs]
Look.
315
00:11:34,206 --> 00:11:36,241
Do not do this, okay?
316
00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:38,034
This crowd will eat you alive.
317
00:11:38,103 --> 00:11:39,379
Literally.
[patron coughing]
318
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,896
So why don't you go back
to your bridge, okay, buddy?
319
00:11:40,965 --> 00:11:43,379
- I'm between bridges
right now.
320
00:11:43,448 --> 00:11:45,448
I--I'm trying
to put myself out there
321
00:11:45,517 --> 00:11:47,068
and find my destiny.
322
00:11:47,137 --> 00:11:49,413
Please, Kyle,
you're the only guy I know
323
00:11:49,482 --> 00:11:50,862
who can help me.
324
00:11:50,931 --> 00:11:52,896
- [sighs]
325
00:11:52,965 --> 00:11:55,724
You're just not
gonna back down, are you?
326
00:11:55,793 --> 00:11:57,896
- Sign me up.
327
00:12:00,586 --> 00:12:02,586
- All right, okay.
328
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:03,931
All right, quiet down.
329
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,034
Quiet--shut up!
330
00:12:06,103 --> 00:12:09,344
Welcome to our first--
and likely last--
331
00:12:09,413 --> 00:12:12,827
open horn night
of music and singing
332
00:12:12,896 --> 00:12:15,068
right here
at the Queen's Goiter.
333
00:12:15,137 --> 00:12:17,827
So go easy on this guy.
He's a good kid.
334
00:12:17,896 --> 00:12:20,379
- Yeah, good with a side
of fried onions!
335
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,620
[laughter]
336
00:12:22,689 --> 00:12:25,448
- I don't know,
he probably tastes terrible.
337
00:12:25,517 --> 00:12:27,344
But apparently he's good
with a lute.
338
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:30,827
All right, give it up for Evan,
the musical troll of Gothmoria.
339
00:12:30,896 --> 00:12:32,655
[jeers and scattered applause]
340
00:12:32,724 --> 00:12:35,586
- Hey, thanks for coming out
to support the arts, you guys.
341
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,137
I am Evan.
342
00:12:37,206 --> 00:12:40,206
Um, about me, uh, I have been
kicked around by life.
343
00:12:40,275 --> 00:12:42,724
Most recently by a little girl
and her nanny goat
344
00:12:42,793 --> 00:12:45,310
who didn't want to pay a toll
to cross my bridge.
345
00:12:45,379 --> 00:12:46,655
- Boring!
346
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,344
- In fact, no one really
pays the toll lately.
347
00:12:49,413 --> 00:12:51,827
People just ignore me
and walk across.
348
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,413
I almost gave up.
349
00:12:53,482 --> 00:12:55,103
- [belches]
350
00:12:55,172 --> 00:12:57,103
- Oh, like that guy.
[chuckles]
351
00:12:57,172 --> 00:12:58,931
But I didn't give up.
352
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,482
Instead, I wrote a song
353
00:13:00,551 --> 00:13:02,896
about fresh starts
and new beginnings.
354
00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:05,965
Goes a little something
like this.
355
00:13:06,034 --> 00:13:08,551
[playing uplifting music]
356
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,241
♪ That feeling
when you can't sleep ♪
357
00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:11,931
♪ 'Cause your bridge
keeps crumbling ♪
358
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,172
♪ Chunks onto your head ♪
359
00:13:14,241 --> 00:13:15,931
♪ That feeling
when you wanna weep ♪
360
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,310
♪ When you think
of collecting ♪
361
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:19,862
♪ That same old toll again ♪
362
00:13:19,931 --> 00:13:23,034
♪ I got 99 problems,
but a bridge ain't one ♪
363
00:13:23,103 --> 00:13:24,482
♪ I burned mine down ♪
364
00:13:24,551 --> 00:13:27,965
♪ Someday, I'll see the sun ♪
365
00:13:28,034 --> 00:13:30,068
♪ That feeling
when your journey ♪
366
00:13:30,137 --> 00:13:32,724
♪ Is just begun ♪
367
00:13:32,793 --> 00:13:34,551
[lively music]
368
00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:36,896
♪ I heard a journey starts
when you go somewhere ♪
369
00:13:36,965 --> 00:13:38,793
♪ I need a journey ♪
370
00:13:38,862 --> 00:13:40,275
♪ A journey ♪
371
00:13:40,344 --> 00:13:42,620
♪ I feel it in my warts,
and I'm so prepared ♪
372
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,068
♪ I need a journey ♪
373
00:13:44,137 --> 00:13:45,413
♪ A journey ♪
374
00:13:45,482 --> 00:13:47,034
♪ All you goblins
and you thieves ♪
375
00:13:47,103 --> 00:13:48,655
♪ Are you feeling me now? ♪
376
00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:49,931
No, don't literally feel me.
377
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,137
♪ Wait, please allow me ♪
378
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:52,758
♪ To rephrase somehow ♪
379
00:13:52,827 --> 00:13:53,931
Oh, that was really awkward.
380
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,172
♪ Gonna keep on
rocking it out ♪
381
00:13:55,241 --> 00:13:57,034
♪ I need a journey ♪
382
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:58,551
♪ A journey ♪
383
00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:00,206
♪ A journey! ♪
384
00:14:00,275 --> 00:14:02,241
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah! ♪
385
00:14:02,310 --> 00:14:04,344
Mm! Mm! Big finish!
386
00:14:04,413 --> 00:14:05,551
Yeah!
387
00:14:05,620 --> 00:14:07,448
Whoo!
[laughs]
388
00:14:07,517 --> 00:14:09,482
[crowd booing]
- Who wrote this song?
389
00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:11,000
- Do you guys
want to hear that again?
390
00:14:12,689 --> 00:14:14,965
[crowd gasping]
391
00:14:15,034 --> 00:14:17,896
[foreboding music]
392
00:14:17,965 --> 00:14:25,034
♪ ♪
393
00:14:34,896 --> 00:14:37,413
- I have a message for you.
394
00:14:41,758 --> 00:14:43,241
- Sup?
395
00:14:43,310 --> 00:14:45,000
- I ordered the chicken.
396
00:14:48,206 --> 00:14:49,034
- You're the warrior woman
397
00:14:49,103 --> 00:14:50,310
everyone calls Brendar, right?
398
00:14:50,379 --> 00:14:52,103
Feared and revered
is your slogan?
399
00:14:52,172 --> 00:14:54,482
- Get lost, owl.
You smell like dead mice.
400
00:14:54,551 --> 00:14:56,931
- [whispering]
They said you'd be intense.
401
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,793
We wanna hire you for a quest.
402
00:14:58,862 --> 00:15:01,310
- I quest alone. Now flap off.
403
00:15:01,379 --> 00:15:03,931
Take Skeletor's smiley band
and Yorick with you.
404
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,758
- Oi. How'd she know my name?
405
00:15:05,827 --> 00:15:06,896
- Not now, Yorry.
406
00:15:06,965 --> 00:15:08,275
Listen, this adventure
407
00:15:08,344 --> 00:15:10,103
includes everything
you're good at.
408
00:15:10,172 --> 00:15:12,172
Smashing, pillaging.
409
00:15:12,241 --> 00:15:14,482
General mayhem.
- I know who sent you.
410
00:15:14,551 --> 00:15:15,931
- Who?
411
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000
- Are you asking me,
or are you making an owl sound?
412
00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:19,482
- This is an owl sound.
413
00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:20,827
Who. Who.
414
00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:22,655
- [sighs] Your team has
all the trademarks
415
00:15:22,724 --> 00:15:25,241
of that hacky has-been,
the wizard Horus Scrum.
416
00:15:25,310 --> 00:15:28,793
[patrons whispering]
417
00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:30,137
- Uh.
- Wha?
418
00:15:30,206 --> 00:15:32,241
- [groans]
- If I were to quest,
419
00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:33,551
it wouldn't be with a wizard
420
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,724
known for card tricks
and fortune-telling.
421
00:15:35,793 --> 00:15:37,000
- Oh, come on.
422
00:15:37,068 --> 00:15:38,586
We could offer you
a generous salary,
423
00:15:38,655 --> 00:15:41,275
plus a pretty darn good
dental plan.
424
00:15:41,344 --> 00:15:43,241
- Are they on
the same dental plan?
425
00:15:45,310 --> 00:15:46,965
- Yes.
- Hard pass.
426
00:15:47,034 --> 00:15:48,206
- Ah!
427
00:15:48,275 --> 00:15:51,103
We have traversed
the Black Forest of Hate
428
00:15:51,172 --> 00:15:53,758
and the
Gray Swamps of Insecurity
429
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,275
to find you.
430
00:15:55,344 --> 00:15:59,068
We will not be dismissed
so easily.
431
00:15:59,137 --> 00:16:01,103
[dramatic music]
432
00:16:01,172 --> 00:16:02,551
[patrons gasp]
433
00:16:05,344 --> 00:16:08,034
- When respect is lacking,
434
00:16:08,103 --> 00:16:11,379
my sword starts hacking.
435
00:16:11,448 --> 00:16:13,551
[grunts]
436
00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:15,448
[heroic music]
437
00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:16,655
- Ah.
438
00:16:19,206 --> 00:16:21,034
- Hot cauldron.
439
00:16:21,103 --> 00:16:22,827
- Hey. Look out, guys.
440
00:16:22,896 --> 00:16:24,241
She's got a knife.
441
00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:26,482
- If you want
to keep your head bone
442
00:16:26,551 --> 00:16:28,793
connected to your neck bone,
443
00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:31,931
I suggest you apologize
to this jester
444
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,551
for interrupting
his foolish music.
445
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:37,793
- I have battled
the Quivering Serpent of Pune!
446
00:16:37,862 --> 00:16:39,551
Your threats mean nothing!
447
00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:42,413
- Was that the Elder serpent
or her offspring?
448
00:16:42,482 --> 00:16:45,482
- Uh, well,
it was quivering a lot.
449
00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:47,344
I don't know.
It was very large!
450
00:16:47,413 --> 00:16:49,103
- And wearing a diaper?
451
00:16:49,172 --> 00:16:50,448
- Yes?
452
00:16:50,517 --> 00:16:52,482
- That was the baby.
- Ah!
453
00:16:52,551 --> 00:16:54,689
- Who I left alive
to send a message.
454
00:16:54,758 --> 00:16:56,034
- Enough!
455
00:16:56,103 --> 00:16:57,620
- Droppings just got real.
456
00:16:57,689 --> 00:16:58,793
- Get her!
457
00:16:58,862 --> 00:17:00,896
Go! Go!
458
00:17:00,965 --> 00:17:07,862
♪ ♪
459
00:17:20,551 --> 00:17:21,620
- Huh?
460
00:17:21,689 --> 00:17:24,000
- Ha!
461
00:17:24,068 --> 00:17:25,206
- Ah!
462
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,586
- Ah...
463
00:17:32,206 --> 00:17:33,862
Huh?
464
00:17:33,931 --> 00:17:35,034
- Ah!
465
00:17:35,103 --> 00:17:37,482
- Huh?
[gasps]
466
00:17:37,551 --> 00:17:39,068
- [laughs]
467
00:17:39,137 --> 00:17:40,724
[grunting]
468
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:43,344
- Stop hitting yourself.
Stop hitting yourself.
469
00:17:43,413 --> 00:17:45,034
Why are you hitting yourself?
470
00:17:45,103 --> 00:17:46,517
Why are you still
hitting yourself?
471
00:17:46,586 --> 00:17:47,620
- Ah!
472
00:17:47,689 --> 00:17:50,586
[both grunting]
473
00:17:54,896 --> 00:17:56,793
Huh?
- Hmm.
474
00:17:56,862 --> 00:18:00,724
- [cackling]
475
00:18:00,793 --> 00:18:02,862
Ah...
476
00:18:02,931 --> 00:18:04,344
[both grunt]
477
00:18:04,413 --> 00:18:07,068
- Uh. Uh...
[chuckles]
478
00:18:07,137 --> 00:18:08,931
[grunts]
479
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,482
- I'm going to crush your head.
480
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:14,862
- Hey, numbskull.
- Huh?
481
00:18:14,931 --> 00:18:16,379
- [grunts]
482
00:18:18,482 --> 00:18:20,689
It's time for you to head out.
483
00:18:20,758 --> 00:18:22,724
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Wait, wait!
484
00:18:22,793 --> 00:18:24,965
No!
485
00:18:25,034 --> 00:18:26,724
- Ah.
486
00:18:26,793 --> 00:18:30,448
- Uh. Uh. Bleh.
487
00:18:30,517 --> 00:18:33,413
Wow. You are amazing.
488
00:18:33,482 --> 00:18:35,413
- Yeah, I get that a lot.
489
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,413
- You know, I helped by
smashing that guy
490
00:18:37,482 --> 00:18:38,896
over his head with my lute.
491
00:18:38,965 --> 00:18:40,172
- I didn't need your help.
492
00:18:40,241 --> 00:18:43,000
In fact, you sort of
interrupted my flow.
493
00:18:43,068 --> 00:18:44,137
- Your flow?
494
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:45,482
- My battle rhythm was thrown
495
00:18:45,551 --> 00:18:47,068
by your sloppy technique.
- Huh.
496
00:18:47,137 --> 00:18:49,034
- Fighting's not for you.
Stick with your songs.
497
00:18:49,103 --> 00:18:50,413
- Oh, yeah, I plan to!
498
00:18:50,482 --> 00:18:52,689
In fact, I have--
- Hold that thought.
499
00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:55,586
I will quest to the castle
of Horus Scrum.
500
00:18:55,655 --> 00:18:57,965
- That is literally
what I came here to accomplish.
501
00:18:58,034 --> 00:19:00,448
- The wizard will regret
sending such weaklings
502
00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:01,827
to retrieve me.
503
00:19:01,896 --> 00:19:04,068
When I defeat him,
the only fortune telling
504
00:19:04,137 --> 00:19:05,758
he will do is to foresee me
505
00:19:05,827 --> 00:19:10,241
tearing up his beard
and using it as my bath mat!
506
00:19:10,310 --> 00:19:13,241
[patrons cheering]
507
00:19:13,310 --> 00:19:14,862
- We really respond
to violence!
508
00:19:14,931 --> 00:19:16,620
- Well, I'm glad
we established that
509
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,931
before anything drastic
went down.
510
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:21,448
[stirring music]
511
00:19:21,517 --> 00:19:23,310
- Oh! Hey, wait, stop!
512
00:19:23,379 --> 00:19:26,206
Look.
I think you're my destiny.
513
00:19:26,275 --> 00:19:27,586
- Ugh.
514
00:19:27,655 --> 00:19:30,172
Even for a troll,
that's a terrible pickup line.
515
00:19:30,241 --> 00:19:32,172
- What? No.
516
00:19:32,241 --> 00:19:33,793
That's not
what I was trying to do.
517
00:19:33,862 --> 00:19:36,551
I need to learn all the things
you seem really good at.
518
00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:38,517
Like living a life of danger.
519
00:19:38,586 --> 00:19:40,103
- You are living dangerously.
520
00:19:40,172 --> 00:19:41,275
Stop following me.
521
00:19:41,344 --> 00:19:42,413
- No!
522
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:43,586
My music is terrible,
523
00:19:43,655 --> 00:19:45,206
and the only way
to make it better
524
00:19:45,275 --> 00:19:47,000
is to quest with you.
525
00:19:47,068 --> 00:19:49,103
- You think you know me?
526
00:19:49,172 --> 00:19:50,517
You will never know me
527
00:19:50,586 --> 00:19:52,862
or my absurdly complex
backstory.
528
00:19:52,931 --> 00:19:55,068
Go back to your songs
and your bridges
529
00:19:55,137 --> 00:19:58,827
or whatever life of comfort
you led before you met me.
530
00:19:58,896 --> 00:20:00,275
Troll.
531
00:20:00,344 --> 00:20:01,724
- Um.
532
00:20:01,793 --> 00:20:03,068
[grunts]
533
00:20:03,137 --> 00:20:04,655
I can't.
534
00:20:04,724 --> 00:20:06,931
I literally burned my bridge
to the ground.
535
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,724
It--it's too late.
536
00:20:08,793 --> 00:20:10,482
- You burned your bridge
to the ground?
537
00:20:10,551 --> 00:20:12,620
- Mm-hmm.
- That is funny.
538
00:20:12,689 --> 00:20:13,965
[gentle flute music]
539
00:20:14,034 --> 00:20:15,000
- Well, hey, look.
540
00:20:15,068 --> 00:20:16,551
If you let me quest with you,
541
00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:19,103
I will write songs
about your exploits.
542
00:20:19,172 --> 00:20:20,896
Infectious, hummable songs
543
00:20:20,965 --> 00:20:23,241
that will pass
from village to village.
544
00:20:23,310 --> 00:20:25,793
In fact, every tavern
in Gothmoria
545
00:20:25,862 --> 00:20:28,931
will sing the ballad
of Brendar the Barbarian!
546
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,448
[dramatic music]
547
00:20:30,517 --> 00:20:32,551
- Can you work the term
"feared and revered"
548
00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:34,310
into the songs
of which you speak?
549
00:20:34,379 --> 00:20:35,862
- Yeah,
put your catchphrase in?
550
00:20:35,931 --> 00:20:37,965
Done.
- It's really more of a slogan.
551
00:20:38,034 --> 00:20:39,793
- Uh, still. Not a problem.
552
00:20:39,862 --> 00:20:41,965
- Then join me, frail troll.
- Ah!
553
00:20:42,034 --> 00:20:43,793
- Risk your life along mine
554
00:20:43,862 --> 00:20:46,137
as we quest
towards an uncertain future
555
00:20:46,206 --> 00:20:47,344
filled with danger...
- Ha-ha!
556
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,379
- Risk...
- Yeah!
557
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:49,827
- Probable death.
- Ew.
558
00:20:49,896 --> 00:20:52,379
- And perhaps
a few scattered victories.
559
00:20:52,448 --> 00:20:53,827
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!
560
00:20:53,896 --> 00:20:55,758
- But only if you agree
to not blather on
561
00:20:55,827 --> 00:20:57,551
about how exciting
everything is.
562
00:20:57,620 --> 00:20:59,551
- Mm, okay, sure.
[chuckles]
563
00:20:59,620 --> 00:21:01,517
Oh, boy. My first quest.
564
00:21:01,586 --> 00:21:03,000
This is so ex--
565
00:21:04,793 --> 00:21:07,034
--tremely...
[clears throat]
566
00:21:07,103 --> 00:21:10,137
Regular and, uh,
not special for me at all.
567
00:21:10,206 --> 00:21:11,689
- This is already a mistake.
568
00:21:11,758 --> 00:21:12,586
- Wha?
569
00:21:12,655 --> 00:21:16,103
[uplifting music]
570
00:21:16,172 --> 00:21:17,724
♪ I heard a journey starts ♪
571
00:21:17,793 --> 00:21:19,689
♪ When you go somewhere ♪
572
00:21:19,758 --> 00:21:22,517
♪ I need a journey ♪
573
00:21:22,586 --> 00:21:26,068
♪ And maybe this journey
needs me ♪
574
00:21:26,137 --> 00:21:28,448
♪ And maybe
this intimidating barbarian ♪
575
00:21:28,517 --> 00:21:30,103
♪ With the impossibly
complex backstory ♪
576
00:21:30,172 --> 00:21:32,034
♪ Needs me ♪
577
00:21:32,103 --> 00:21:34,586
♪ And maybe
I'll find the song ♪
578
00:21:34,655 --> 00:21:37,241
♪ That I'm meant to sing! ♪
579
00:21:37,310 --> 00:21:39,724
♪ ♪
580
00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:42,034
Brendar?
581
00:21:42,103 --> 00:21:44,310
Where--hey, wait up.
582
00:21:44,379 --> 00:21:45,620
Where'd she go?
583
00:21:46,517 --> 00:21:47,827
[ominous music]
584
00:21:47,896 --> 00:21:52,103
- You have not seen
the last of me, barbarian.
585
00:21:52,172 --> 00:21:54,034
I'll get you.
586
00:21:54,103 --> 00:21:56,103
And your peppy goblin too!
587
00:21:56,172 --> 00:21:57,068
[crow caws]
588
00:21:59,344 --> 00:22:02,034
Well, this is unfortunate.
589
00:22:02,103 --> 00:22:05,000
[blowing air]
590
00:22:06,896 --> 00:22:09,034
Shoo! Shoo!
591
00:22:14,034 --> 00:22:20,965
♪ ♪
592
00:22:21,015 --> 00:22:25,565
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