All language subtitles for Creepshow 2x01 - Model Kid (English)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:26,039 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 2 00:03:51,566 --> 00:03:53,453 Joe? 3 00:03:53,798 --> 00:03:55,750 Joe? 4 00:04:07,391 --> 00:04:09,234 Joe? 5 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,015 Joe-Joe? 6 00:04:18,010 --> 00:04:21,570 Honey, did you hear me? I was calling you. 7 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,912 I'm sorry, I was just finishing up Gillman. 8 00:04:24,204 --> 00:04:25,241 Take your teeth out. 9 00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:28,242 You know I can't understand you with those things in. 10 00:04:29,762 --> 00:04:32,601 I wanted to say I'm sorry, I was finishing up the Gillman. 11 00:04:32,626 --> 00:04:36,398 Well, the Gillman can wait, because guess what? 12 00:04:36,546 --> 00:04:38,289 Aunt Barb is here. 13 00:04:39,515 --> 00:04:43,302 - With Uncle Kevin? - Yeah, with Uncle Kevin. 14 00:04:45,779 --> 00:04:47,921 They brought pepperoni pizza, though. 15 00:04:48,378 --> 00:04:50,249 Come on, before it gets cold. 16 00:04:50,274 --> 00:04:52,710 Your friends will still be here when you get back. 17 00:04:53,789 --> 00:04:55,139 Oh! 18 00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:57,507 Come to dinner! 19 00:04:57,690 --> 00:05:00,507 I hypnotize you to come to dinner! 20 00:05:00,532 --> 00:05:02,446 I really feel like you're doing a good job there. 21 00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:03,885 Thank you very much. 22 00:05:08,085 --> 00:05:09,695 Mmm. 23 00:05:12,109 --> 00:05:14,830 Trick-or-treat's not 'til October, buddy. 24 00:05:15,968 --> 00:05:18,971 Every day is trick-or-treat around here. 25 00:05:19,257 --> 00:05:21,690 - Really? - More Tang? 26 00:05:22,206 --> 00:05:26,704 No thanks. I never drink Tang. 27 00:05:27,229 --> 00:05:28,471 Why not? 28 00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:30,916 It's the official drink of astronauts. 29 00:05:30,941 --> 00:05:33,354 It was the first beverage on the moon, you know that? 30 00:05:33,387 --> 00:05:36,346 Joe likes Tang. He's just, he's doing his Dracula. 31 00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:39,588 Bela Lugosi, right? Played him in the first one. 32 00:05:39,613 --> 00:05:41,791 Technically, Max Schreck played him in the first one... 33 00:05:41,816 --> 00:05:44,667 The silent version, "Nosferatu," 1922. 34 00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:47,674 Bela Lugosi was a dope addict. 35 00:05:48,851 --> 00:05:50,636 - I never heard that. - It's a fact! 36 00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:52,197 Look it up in the encyclopedia. 37 00:05:52,222 --> 00:05:53,838 I'm not crazy about the new guy. 38 00:05:53,863 --> 00:05:55,386 What's his name? 39 00:05:55,411 --> 00:05:57,776 You know, the limey with the red eyes? 40 00:05:58,104 --> 00:06:01,135 - Christopher Lee. - No, that's the karate guy. 41 00:06:03,213 --> 00:06:05,112 Yeah, look it up. 42 00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:07,139 Joe-Joe doesn't have to. 43 00:06:07,164 --> 00:06:09,346 He knows everything there is to know 44 00:06:09,371 --> 00:06:15,268 about Dracula and the Mummy and Frankenstein and... 45 00:06:15,293 --> 00:06:16,510 Who am I missing here? 46 00:06:16,535 --> 00:06:18,711 Uh, OJ Simpson. 47 00:06:19,024 --> 00:06:20,809 When I was his age, I knew everything 48 00:06:20,834 --> 00:06:23,291 there was to know about football. 49 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,623 Nowadays, it's all about this horror crap. 50 00:06:25,648 --> 00:06:28,416 - Can I be excused? - I don't know, can you? 51 00:06:29,092 --> 00:06:31,963 - May I be excused? - Yeah, yeah, in just a minute. 52 00:06:31,988 --> 00:06:34,991 Um, Aunt Barb and Uncle Kevin 53 00:06:35,016 --> 00:06:37,432 have something that they wanted to ask us. 54 00:06:38,313 --> 00:06:40,097 Joe, would it be cool 55 00:06:40,122 --> 00:06:42,744 if me and Uncle Kevin came to stay for a bit? 56 00:06:43,282 --> 00:06:45,197 Your mom could use an extra hand right now 57 00:06:45,222 --> 00:06:48,479 with, well, all that's going on. 58 00:06:48,864 --> 00:06:50,682 If you'll have us. 59 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,168 Heya, count. You're blowing it. 60 00:07:14,462 --> 00:07:17,030 Vampires don't show up in mirrors. 61 00:07:23,897 --> 00:07:25,639 Let me help you. 62 00:07:29,029 --> 00:07:30,522 Ow. 63 00:07:31,179 --> 00:07:32,576 Bud. 64 00:07:33,853 --> 00:07:35,661 Your eye. 65 00:07:35,858 --> 00:07:37,818 Who did that to you? 66 00:07:38,223 --> 00:07:40,115 Billy Niles again? 67 00:07:41,632 --> 00:07:43,373 Come here, kid. 68 00:07:48,296 --> 00:07:50,193 Will you do me a favor 69 00:07:50,218 --> 00:07:54,572 and lay off the monster talk at school, hmm? 70 00:07:55,411 --> 00:07:57,994 You're running short on friends, kiddo. 71 00:07:58,462 --> 00:08:00,856 I have all the friends I need. 72 00:08:03,042 --> 00:08:05,275 You got a lot of 'em. 73 00:08:06,239 --> 00:08:08,713 Why do they have to move in with us? 74 00:08:11,167 --> 00:08:13,791 You know, it's not a forever thing. 75 00:08:14,618 --> 00:08:17,127 Just 'til I finish my next round of chemo. 76 00:08:17,766 --> 00:08:20,682 And, it'll... 77 00:08:21,291 --> 00:08:24,250 It'll help your Uncle Kevin get back on his feet. 78 00:08:24,308 --> 00:08:26,104 He's such a loser. 79 00:08:27,366 --> 00:08:29,788 Hey, he's not so bad. 80 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:36,971 Did you know actually that he used to box in the Army? 81 00:08:38,060 --> 00:08:39,933 Maybe he could show you a few pointers 82 00:08:39,958 --> 00:08:42,471 on how to deal with ol' Billy Niles? 83 00:08:42,951 --> 00:08:44,588 Yeah? 84 00:08:46,564 --> 00:08:48,044 We'll talk about it tomorrow. 85 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:49,369 Okey-doke? 86 00:08:50,151 --> 00:08:51,674 Okey-doke. 87 00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:55,420 What's playing on the ol' time machine tonight? 88 00:08:55,573 --> 00:08:57,271 I haven't decided. 89 00:08:57,296 --> 00:09:00,588 "Abbott and Costello Meets" somebody. 90 00:09:01,234 --> 00:09:04,540 Well, set it up. I'll make the Jiffy Pop. 91 00:09:05,084 --> 00:09:06,433 I love you, Mom. 92 00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:08,142 I love you. 93 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:52,062 Mom? 94 00:09:52,087 --> 00:09:54,689 Why do you always call it a time machine? 95 00:09:56,524 --> 00:09:59,103 Because that's what projectors are. 96 00:10:00,342 --> 00:10:05,314 Movies, they transport us. 97 00:10:06,223 --> 00:10:10,183 Think about it. I bet you remember 98 00:10:10,208 --> 00:10:12,564 exactly where you were 99 00:10:12,589 --> 00:10:15,592 and who you were with the very first time 100 00:10:15,617 --> 00:10:18,079 you heard Dr. Frankenstein yell, 101 00:10:18,104 --> 00:10:21,237 - "It's alive!" - I was with you. 102 00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:25,666 That's right. 103 00:10:31,627 --> 00:10:35,088 And with one flip of a switch, you always will be. 104 00:10:40,724 --> 00:10:43,010 Together forever, Joe-Joe. 105 00:10:44,776 --> 00:10:48,237 Just like in the movies. 106 00:11:36,410 --> 00:11:37,963 Mom? 107 00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:43,354 Mom? 108 00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:16,658 Good morning. 109 00:12:29,564 --> 00:12:31,696 Where's the kid at? 110 00:12:31,983 --> 00:12:34,284 I let him sleep in. 111 00:12:35,576 --> 00:12:37,393 On a Saturday? 112 00:12:37,503 --> 00:12:39,268 It's chore day. 113 00:12:40,086 --> 00:12:42,737 He's probably up there watching goddamn movies again. 114 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,573 Kevin, be nice. 115 00:12:46,276 --> 00:12:49,112 He'll grow out of it. Some kids do Little League. 116 00:12:49,137 --> 00:12:51,620 Joe-Joe and his mom did monsters. 117 00:12:51,807 --> 00:12:54,679 He's turning into a freak and you're promoting it. 118 00:13:06,217 --> 00:13:09,385 What are you doing in here, sniffing glue? 119 00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:12,143 Repairing the Reaper's arm. 120 00:13:12,346 --> 00:13:14,362 "Repairing the Reaper's arm." 121 00:13:15,210 --> 00:13:17,487 Where they at, huh? 122 00:13:18,342 --> 00:13:21,870 I know you got some girlies under here somewhere, huh? 123 00:13:22,141 --> 00:13:24,013 A-ha! 124 00:13:26,779 --> 00:13:28,948 Well, I'll be dipped in shit. 125 00:13:29,222 --> 00:13:31,690 You do like girls, don't you? 126 00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:34,167 It's a collector's item. 127 00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:39,424 But you don't like me much, do you? 128 00:13:39,749 --> 00:13:40,924 That's okay. 129 00:13:40,949 --> 00:13:43,996 You know what, your cousin Gary, he didn't like me much either. 130 00:13:44,358 --> 00:13:48,536 We didn't watch monster movies and the Late Late Show. 131 00:13:48,563 --> 00:13:51,370 My job was to make a man out of him. 132 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,525 That's exactly what I'm gonna do for you. 133 00:13:53,836 --> 00:13:55,142 Thanks? 134 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,502 You're welcome. First things first, 135 00:13:57,527 --> 00:13:59,726 we gotta get rid of all this horror crap. 136 00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:02,198 - Why? - Because I said so! 137 00:14:02,279 --> 00:14:05,557 You know, me and your auntie sacrificed a lot to be here. 138 00:14:05,582 --> 00:14:06,974 That's not how I heard it. 139 00:14:07,391 --> 00:14:10,700 I heard you had to move in because you got canned from your job. 140 00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:14,621 That's how you heard it, huh? 141 00:14:16,657 --> 00:14:19,190 It's called a temporary layoff. Give me this! 142 00:14:19,215 --> 00:14:20,469 Hey, that was a present from my mom! 143 00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:23,832 Oh, poor, poor Grim Reaper! Oh! 144 00:14:25,037 --> 00:14:27,933 Grim Reaper's all broken up about it. 145 00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:31,645 Now get your ass outside! It's chore day! 146 00:14:32,536 --> 00:14:36,137 You can play with your stupid toys later, hmm? 147 00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:03,957 Yo, Dr. Frankenstein! 148 00:15:04,052 --> 00:15:05,785 Say hi to your mom for me! 149 00:15:28,913 --> 00:15:30,801 Friend! 150 00:15:36,824 --> 00:15:39,911 Don't tell me, the infamous Billy Niles? 151 00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,246 I made some Tang. 152 00:15:52,153 --> 00:15:54,112 I was hoping you'd do your Dracula. 153 00:15:54,137 --> 00:15:57,168 Well, I can't. Sun's still out. 154 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,269 Before you say anything, it was my fault. 155 00:16:06,389 --> 00:16:08,123 Took an extra shift at Bateman's Diner 156 00:16:08,148 --> 00:16:09,889 without telling your uncle. 157 00:16:09,914 --> 00:16:12,977 He says it's getting hard just being a man these days. 158 00:16:13,660 --> 00:16:15,555 He's not a man. 159 00:16:20,388 --> 00:16:23,155 Go for the pin! Go for the pin! 160 00:16:26,632 --> 00:16:27,969 Hello? 161 00:16:29,397 --> 00:16:31,704 Yes, just a second, he's right here. 162 00:16:31,844 --> 00:16:33,514 Kev, it's Mr. Warren. 163 00:16:38,562 --> 00:16:40,125 Hello, Mr. Warren. 164 00:16:41,031 --> 00:16:44,515 Oh, yeah, yeah, we're hanging in the best we can, sir. 165 00:16:50,073 --> 00:16:53,074 I understand, sir. What can I say? 166 00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,327 Times have been tough for all of us. 167 00:16:56,346 --> 00:16:58,202 Thank you, sir. 168 00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:02,311 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. 169 00:17:04,213 --> 00:17:07,061 What are you sorry about? You still got your job. 170 00:17:14,894 --> 00:17:17,185 - What do think you're doing? - Cleaning house. 171 00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,803 There's gonna be no more Santa Claus, 172 00:17:18,828 --> 00:17:22,561 no more Tooth Fairy, and no more goddamn monsters! 173 00:17:22,586 --> 00:17:24,105 You're the only monster around here! 174 00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:30,920 - Stay away from him. - Or what? Huh? 175 00:17:37,329 --> 00:17:39,723 Ah, yous deserve each other. 176 00:17:43,744 --> 00:17:46,366 Come on. It's okay. 177 00:18:08,289 --> 00:18:10,048 I miss you. 178 00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:15,197 Mom? 179 00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:26,674 Got it. Need it. 180 00:20:26,983 --> 00:20:29,721 Got it. Need it. 181 00:20:29,746 --> 00:20:31,574 Need it. 182 00:20:48,075 --> 00:20:49,946 Oh, yes! 183 00:21:38,879 --> 00:21:40,510 What happened? 184 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:48,208 The damnedest thing. 185 00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:51,010 My ankle twisted completely around. 186 00:22:12,641 --> 00:22:14,447 Joe, it's me. 187 00:22:16,465 --> 00:22:18,374 I'm working the night shift. 188 00:22:18,399 --> 00:22:20,596 There's turkey pot pie in the fridge. 189 00:22:20,964 --> 00:22:23,491 Just stay clear of your uncle. 190 00:22:23,516 --> 00:22:26,119 He's been in bed all day burning up with fever. 191 00:22:28,964 --> 00:22:32,881 Things are gonna change around here, I promise. 192 00:22:33,003 --> 00:22:34,353 I know. 193 00:23:04,118 --> 00:23:06,085 What the hell's he watching? 194 00:23:06,184 --> 00:23:09,520 Joe, turn it down! 195 00:23:16,583 --> 00:23:19,934 Kid needs a good old-fashioned ass whooping! 196 00:23:24,073 --> 00:23:26,520 Must've backed up the shitter again! 197 00:23:26,545 --> 00:23:28,318 You freak! 198 00:23:29,470 --> 00:23:31,874 I'm coming for ya, buddy! 199 00:23:33,155 --> 00:23:35,319 You got it coming now, boy. 200 00:23:43,273 --> 00:23:47,277 I know you're in there playing with your goddamn toys 201 00:23:47,301 --> 00:23:49,313 'cause I can smell the goddamn glue. 202 00:23:49,801 --> 00:23:53,336 Open the door, or I'll smash it in! 203 00:23:54,592 --> 00:23:57,321 Okay, all right. 204 00:24:06,767 --> 00:24:08,160 Fuck you! 205 00:24:09,649 --> 00:24:11,488 No! 206 00:24:27,509 --> 00:24:30,922 Keep your eyes peeled, boils and ghouls. 207 00:24:30,947 --> 00:24:34,883 The cadaverous conclusion of "Uncle Kevin Meets the Monster" 208 00:24:34,908 --> 00:24:36,593 is right around the corner. 209 00:25:28,869 --> 00:25:32,649 Hey, buddy! Tell your friends I'm sorry! 210 00:25:34,138 --> 00:25:35,421 No! 211 00:25:40,861 --> 00:25:42,341 No! 212 00:25:45,305 --> 00:25:50,516 No! 213 00:25:52,725 --> 00:25:55,610 Are you ready for your close-up, Uncle Kev? 214 00:25:55,902 --> 00:25:59,821 No! 215 00:26:00,254 --> 00:26:03,211 No! 216 00:26:03,358 --> 00:26:09,172 No! 217 00:26:20,599 --> 00:26:23,079 Joe! Joe! 218 00:26:25,985 --> 00:26:27,586 Joe. 219 00:26:29,109 --> 00:26:31,067 Oh, my God. 220 00:26:31,256 --> 00:26:34,959 Come. Sit. 221 00:26:34,984 --> 00:26:37,770 You're just in time for the big ending. 222 00:26:55,701 --> 00:26:57,311 What happened? 223 00:26:57,336 --> 00:26:59,688 Couple of friends came for a visit. 224 00:27:01,008 --> 00:27:03,540 They had some cleaning up to do. 225 00:27:03,927 --> 00:27:06,079 After all, 226 00:27:08,017 --> 00:27:11,399 it is chore day. 227 00:28:07,226 --> 00:28:10,724 Everyone was very happy that the little pigs worked so hard, 228 00:28:10,749 --> 00:28:13,779 for now they had plenty of food for winter, 229 00:28:13,804 --> 00:28:18,069 and Farmer John promised to never eat porkchops again. 230 00:28:18,351 --> 00:28:21,749 So, they ate chicken! 231 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,100 The end. 232 00:28:24,125 --> 00:28:28,185 Hmm, what do you suppose that story was about, Henrietta? 233 00:28:28,210 --> 00:28:30,374 Getting what you deserve? 234 00:28:30,399 --> 00:28:31,928 That's right! 235 00:28:31,953 --> 00:28:34,321 Some folks call it karma. 236 00:28:34,346 --> 00:28:35,959 When you do something good, 237 00:28:35,984 --> 00:28:37,881 something good will happen to you. 238 00:28:37,906 --> 00:28:40,523 But if you do something bad... 239 00:28:40,548 --> 00:28:43,594 S-s-s-something bad will happen to me? 240 00:28:43,619 --> 00:28:45,360 Mm-hmm. 241 00:28:45,385 --> 00:28:48,658 So be sure to be good little boys and girls. 242 00:28:48,683 --> 00:28:52,867 Until next time, bye for now! 243 00:28:53,662 --> 00:28:56,622 Mrs. Bookberry's Magical Library is made possible 244 00:28:56,647 --> 00:28:59,955 by a grant from the Public Broadcasting Corporation. 245 00:29:00,018 --> 00:29:03,804 You're watching WQPS, Channel 13, Pittsburgh. 246 00:29:03,983 --> 00:29:05,764 Prevent child abuse. 247 00:29:05,789 --> 00:29:08,678 This is WQPS in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, 248 00:29:08,703 --> 00:29:11,358 operating on Channel 13 with a frequency of 249 00:29:11,383 --> 00:29:15,598 210 to 216 megahertz by authority of 250 00:29:15,623 --> 00:29:18,085 the Federal Communications Commission. 251 00:29:18,873 --> 00:29:21,822 Bookberry pledge drive promotion, take one. 252 00:29:21,863 --> 00:29:26,468 Settle, settle, lots of energy, and on in three, two... 253 00:29:26,808 --> 00:29:29,332 Something very special is happening tonight 254 00:29:29,357 --> 00:29:33,529 - on Channel 13, Henrietta. - What is it, Mrs. Bookberry? 255 00:29:33,554 --> 00:29:36,130 It's the WQPS pledge drive. 256 00:29:36,155 --> 00:29:38,272 That's where we ask all the mommies and daddies 257 00:29:38,297 --> 00:29:40,116 out there to fuck! 258 00:29:41,362 --> 00:29:43,974 Goddamn it! Line. 259 00:29:44,158 --> 00:29:47,036 "Become a member of Channel 13's television family." 260 00:29:47,061 --> 00:29:49,046 Okay, whatever, here we go. 261 00:29:49,566 --> 00:29:52,303 Three, two, one, action. 262 00:29:52,763 --> 00:29:54,724 That's where we ask the mommies and daddies 263 00:29:54,749 --> 00:29:57,230 out there to join us by becoming a member of 264 00:29:57,255 --> 00:30:00,179 Channel 13's television family. 265 00:30:02,165 --> 00:30:04,732 Cut, I think we got it, Greg. I'm gonna go take a shit. 266 00:30:04,757 --> 00:30:06,210 I'll be in my dressing room. 267 00:30:06,235 --> 00:30:07,958 Everybody take five while she... 268 00:30:07,983 --> 00:30:09,348 - Does that. - Uh, Miss Bookberry? 269 00:30:09,372 --> 00:30:11,889 - Smoke 'em if you got 'em. - Mrs. Bookberry? 270 00:30:11,999 --> 00:30:13,221 Bookberry! 271 00:30:17,694 --> 00:30:20,359 Miss Bookberry? Do you have a minute? 272 00:30:20,824 --> 00:30:22,970 About the show tonight. Nothing like live television. 273 00:30:22,995 --> 00:30:24,408 What's up with my time slot, Claudia? 274 00:30:24,432 --> 00:30:27,130 - Am I getting it or what? - Well, you see, about that, 275 00:30:27,155 --> 00:30:29,106 "Love of Painting" has been our 3 o'clock 276 00:30:29,131 --> 00:30:31,773 - for nearly 10 years, and what I... - And what? 277 00:30:31,798 --> 00:30:34,460 "Magical Library" is the biggest show in QPS history. 278 00:30:34,485 --> 00:30:37,507 Without it, this piss stain of a station would be nothing. 279 00:30:37,532 --> 00:30:41,631 I want that time slot. Give me that time slot. 280 00:30:41,656 --> 00:30:43,374 But Norm's show won't survive anywhere else. 281 00:30:43,398 --> 00:30:45,234 Listen, they took a big chance 282 00:30:45,259 --> 00:30:48,507 on promoting someone like you to station manager. 283 00:30:48,671 --> 00:30:50,128 Be a shame to have to tell the higher-ups 284 00:30:50,152 --> 00:30:52,616 that you just couldn't figure it out. 285 00:30:52,763 --> 00:30:55,562 Ya got me, sistah? 286 00:30:57,177 --> 00:30:58,937 You can have 3 o'clock. 287 00:30:59,248 --> 00:31:01,076 Thank you. 288 00:31:04,315 --> 00:31:05,490 Now, if you don't mind, 289 00:31:05,515 --> 00:31:07,710 I prefer to wipe my ass in private, 290 00:31:07,735 --> 00:31:10,757 unless you wanna come in and do it for me? 291 00:31:17,787 --> 00:31:19,530 Just a little bit and then we're gonna go 292 00:31:19,554 --> 00:31:22,171 back to the canvas and play in the leaves here. 293 00:31:22,578 --> 00:31:25,902 Just a little dab here and a little dab there. 294 00:31:26,669 --> 00:31:28,583 Right on the roof. 295 00:31:29,017 --> 00:31:30,958 Just down that slope. 296 00:31:31,963 --> 00:31:34,606 Where the leaves are gonna be found in the night. 297 00:31:34,945 --> 00:31:37,427 Maybe they were there last season. 298 00:31:37,972 --> 00:31:40,145 It's up to you, this is your world. 299 00:31:40,984 --> 00:31:42,708 There. 300 00:31:43,340 --> 00:31:45,821 Now, I would say our cabin could use a little something 301 00:31:45,846 --> 00:31:48,577 to look forward to, so let's put a little sunshine 302 00:31:48,602 --> 00:31:50,169 at the horizon. 303 00:31:50,224 --> 00:31:52,058 Take our two-inch brush. 304 00:31:52,083 --> 00:31:55,380 Just lighten up the sky. 305 00:31:55,578 --> 00:31:57,606 Move the darkness away. 306 00:31:58,351 --> 00:31:59,958 There. 307 00:32:00,632 --> 00:32:02,939 I think it's time to clean out our brushes. 308 00:32:02,964 --> 00:32:05,638 Take the brush into the paint thinner. 309 00:32:06,576 --> 00:32:08,665 Shake the excess. 310 00:32:08,690 --> 00:32:10,505 This is my favorite part. 311 00:32:13,105 --> 00:32:15,372 Just beat the devil out of it. 312 00:32:17,866 --> 00:32:20,304 I hope that you all enjoyed painting with me today 313 00:32:20,329 --> 00:32:22,418 because I know I did. 314 00:32:22,443 --> 00:32:24,669 So from all of us here at the station, 315 00:32:25,102 --> 00:32:28,106 happy painting, and God bless. 316 00:32:31,309 --> 00:32:33,970 And cut, clear! 317 00:32:33,995 --> 00:32:36,395 That is a beautiful painting, Norm. 318 00:32:36,420 --> 00:32:37,623 - Oh, thank you. - Wanna take a break 319 00:32:37,647 --> 00:32:38,929 before we start shooting the next episode? 320 00:32:38,953 --> 00:32:40,950 Oh, no, no, no, no. We may continue. 321 00:32:40,975 --> 00:32:43,197 Hey, guys, excuse me, can we talk? 322 00:32:43,222 --> 00:32:45,789 What's wrong? Are you cutting our budget again? 323 00:32:45,814 --> 00:32:47,527 Claudia, you can't do that! 324 00:32:47,552 --> 00:32:49,011 I had to get rid of both camera guys. 325 00:32:49,035 --> 00:32:52,038 You got me directing, producing. I'm shooting close-ups here. 326 00:32:52,063 --> 00:32:53,121 I'm not cutting the budget. 327 00:32:53,145 --> 00:32:55,833 I'm afraid we're canceling "Love of Painting." 328 00:32:56,296 --> 00:32:59,317 Oh, no, that's too bad. 329 00:33:00,244 --> 00:33:02,950 May we still shoot this next one? 330 00:33:03,938 --> 00:33:06,130 Yeah, of course, Norm. 331 00:33:08,029 --> 00:33:09,583 Claudia? 332 00:33:10,086 --> 00:33:13,401 What are you doing? The show is all he's got. 333 00:33:13,426 --> 00:33:15,636 My hands are tied, George. His time slot is needed. 334 00:33:15,661 --> 00:33:18,302 I'm sorry. I really am. 335 00:33:19,382 --> 00:33:21,253 How is always so calm? 336 00:33:21,278 --> 00:33:22,443 You'd think he could at least chew me out 337 00:33:22,467 --> 00:33:24,067 for screwing him over. 338 00:33:25,053 --> 00:33:28,403 That man's changed a lot since he came back from 'Nam. 339 00:33:28,762 --> 00:33:31,599 Norm was on the front line of the Tet Offensive. 340 00:33:32,169 --> 00:33:35,249 Musta had to do horrible things to survive. 341 00:33:49,394 --> 00:33:51,832 Priceless items are right under your nose. 342 00:33:51,857 --> 00:33:53,988 Did the value of this snow blower 343 00:33:54,013 --> 00:33:57,836 or this medieval broadsword increase or decrease over time? 344 00:33:57,861 --> 00:34:00,864 What about this jar of Civil War coins? 345 00:34:00,889 --> 00:34:04,512 Find out next on "The Appraiser's Road Trip." 346 00:34:04,969 --> 00:34:08,107 "The Appraiser's Road Trip" with Goodman Tapert. 347 00:34:08,132 --> 00:34:10,599 Good evening, and welcome. 348 00:34:11,107 --> 00:34:13,659 Today's first guest, Mr. Ted Raimi, 349 00:34:13,684 --> 00:34:16,263 has brought us something quite special, 350 00:34:16,288 --> 00:34:18,030 a book. 351 00:34:19,705 --> 00:34:21,707 How did you come across this? 352 00:34:21,732 --> 00:34:23,364 Uh, well, it's... 353 00:34:23,389 --> 00:34:25,376 It's been in the family for years. 354 00:34:25,401 --> 00:34:26,488 I must tell you, 355 00:34:26,513 --> 00:34:27,997 this is an amazing 356 00:34:28,022 --> 00:34:30,076 and quite valuable find. 357 00:34:30,101 --> 00:34:32,318 - Wow! - Wow, indeed. 358 00:34:32,565 --> 00:34:34,912 Brilliant Sumerian craftsmanship. 359 00:34:35,202 --> 00:34:38,771 The stitching in the binding is magnificent. 360 00:34:40,053 --> 00:34:44,448 It's bound in a leather that I'm unfamiliar with, 361 00:34:44,473 --> 00:34:46,996 but despite a few scratches and discolorations, 362 00:34:47,021 --> 00:34:49,719 this is a stunning piece. 363 00:34:49,744 --> 00:34:51,763 It is locked, though. Do you have the key? 364 00:34:51,794 --> 00:34:53,996 Um, I lost it. 365 00:34:54,021 --> 00:34:55,918 Oh, how unfortunate. 366 00:34:55,943 --> 00:34:57,847 But then it was found. 367 00:34:58,348 --> 00:35:00,145 Excellent! 368 00:35:00,837 --> 00:35:02,926 Let's look inside. 369 00:35:04,841 --> 00:35:06,990 This is really exciting. 370 00:35:08,408 --> 00:35:11,997 I mean, I've had this thing in my fruit cellar for years. 371 00:35:12,022 --> 00:35:15,106 I nearly threw it out like a million times. 372 00:35:15,131 --> 00:35:17,974 But I'm glad I didn't though, huh? 373 00:35:18,525 --> 00:35:19,918 I mean, geez Louise, 374 00:35:19,943 --> 00:35:21,728 I wonder what this old thing is worth? 375 00:35:21,753 --> 00:35:24,843 I wonder if I could get a Camaro? 376 00:35:25,024 --> 00:35:26,969 Or maybe a hot tub? 377 00:35:26,994 --> 00:35:28,794 What do you think, a Camaro or a hot tub? 378 00:35:29,082 --> 00:35:30,191 Hot tub. 379 00:35:30,215 --> 00:35:31,477 Yes! 380 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,138 Look at these ink renderings. 381 00:35:35,369 --> 00:35:37,615 The Kandarian text. 382 00:35:38,012 --> 00:35:40,324 Any natural history museum would happily pay anywhere 383 00:35:40,349 --> 00:35:44,637 between 3 or 400,000. 384 00:35:44,662 --> 00:35:46,308 - Dollars? - Mm-hmm. 385 00:35:46,333 --> 00:35:47,928 Oh, man! 386 00:35:47,953 --> 00:35:49,749 This is the best day of my whole life! 387 00:35:49,774 --> 00:35:52,035 Lucky for you, I can read Sumerian. 388 00:35:52,060 --> 00:35:53,177 You can read... 389 00:35:53,202 --> 00:35:57,304 Might be a bit rusty, but what I can gather, 390 00:35:57,329 --> 00:36:00,982 this book is the Necronomicon. 391 00:36:02,135 --> 00:36:04,224 Ah, that name sounds familiar. 392 00:36:04,249 --> 00:36:06,338 It was written when dark spirits ruled the Earth 393 00:36:06,363 --> 00:36:09,083 and the oceans boiled with blood. 394 00:36:09,108 --> 00:36:10,752 The powers of the dead lay within 395 00:36:10,777 --> 00:36:15,005 these very pages. Fascinating. 396 00:36:15,030 --> 00:36:17,454 Listen to these wretched incantations. 397 00:36:21,676 --> 00:36:24,244 Oh, uh, um, maybe don't read it. 398 00:36:24,269 --> 00:36:29,404 "Nosferaten. Valo mortem." 399 00:36:29,535 --> 00:36:32,277 Uh, stop. Don't read any more. 400 00:36:36,077 --> 00:36:39,600 Please stop. Stop! 401 00:36:40,676 --> 00:36:44,245 I said stop. Never! 402 00:36:56,077 --> 00:37:00,271 Let me back into the book, kids, so you should be like me! 403 00:37:00,653 --> 00:37:03,544 When it all makes a pledge to us. 404 00:37:03,576 --> 00:37:05,997 Pledge to us! 405 00:37:10,489 --> 00:37:13,333 Pledge to us! 406 00:37:16,041 --> 00:37:18,676 We're gonna say good night to the Grand Tetons. 407 00:37:18,701 --> 00:37:22,240 A meandering stream by just using the Titanium White 408 00:37:22,265 --> 00:37:24,958 and working through the bristles with the two-inch brush. 409 00:37:25,489 --> 00:37:30,571 And ever so gently drag through the dusk creeping over 410 00:37:30,596 --> 00:37:33,951 the mountains here and then saying goodbye 411 00:37:34,077 --> 00:37:36,497 to the dying embers of the day. 412 00:37:36,776 --> 00:37:40,947 Good night, day. Thank you for everything. 413 00:37:41,407 --> 00:37:44,338 Sleep well. There. 414 00:37:45,175 --> 00:37:47,361 I think we're done here. 415 00:37:49,328 --> 00:37:50,775 Um... 416 00:37:51,852 --> 00:37:55,252 today, I have gotten some bad news. 417 00:37:55,577 --> 00:37:59,744 Unfortunately, this is our last episode. 418 00:38:00,340 --> 00:38:03,125 First, I was sad, but I believe that 419 00:38:03,150 --> 00:38:05,544 everything happens for a reason, 420 00:38:05,569 --> 00:38:08,244 and if this is what the Good Lord wishes, 421 00:38:08,808 --> 00:38:10,853 well, then surely he must have something greater 422 00:38:10,878 --> 00:38:13,091 in mind for me and for us all. 423 00:38:13,116 --> 00:38:15,268 Pledge your soul to the book! 424 00:38:15,856 --> 00:38:17,277 What is that thing? 425 00:38:18,445 --> 00:38:20,758 - Huh? - Keep away from me! 426 00:38:20,783 --> 00:38:22,082 No! 427 00:38:27,989 --> 00:38:29,713 What is happening? 428 00:38:31,047 --> 00:38:35,510 A-ha. Pretty soul. 429 00:38:35,535 --> 00:38:39,292 I'll cut it out of you. 430 00:38:41,175 --> 00:38:42,828 Huh? 431 00:38:55,856 --> 00:38:57,221 Huh? 432 00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:03,495 I don't know who you are, sir, but if you're not gonna behave, 433 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,439 I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. 434 00:39:06,144 --> 00:39:08,117 Pledge to us! 435 00:39:29,986 --> 00:39:31,213 Huh? 436 00:39:44,102 --> 00:39:45,955 George! 437 00:39:47,472 --> 00:39:50,014 - You all right, George? - Just get it off of me! 438 00:39:50,039 --> 00:39:52,650 Both leave me here and just save yourselves. 439 00:39:53,652 --> 00:39:55,039 Nobody's leaving you here, George. 440 00:39:55,064 --> 00:39:58,131 - Oh, God. - Come here. 441 00:39:58,798 --> 00:40:01,025 All right, what's the quickest way out? 442 00:40:01,050 --> 00:40:02,551 'Cause we have to let the others know! 443 00:40:02,575 --> 00:40:03,962 Through the Magical Library. 444 00:40:03,987 --> 00:40:05,379 Okay, we need to get to a phone. 445 00:40:05,404 --> 00:40:07,107 Yes, come on, this way. 446 00:40:07,850 --> 00:40:09,716 Come on, George! 447 00:40:10,935 --> 00:40:13,232 Merciless! 448 00:40:43,266 --> 00:40:46,404 You worthless piece of shit. 449 00:40:47,615 --> 00:40:50,865 - I'm not worthless, Daddy. - Yes, you are. 450 00:40:51,597 --> 00:40:53,469 Your mother and I will be very disappointed 451 00:40:53,494 --> 00:40:55,074 if you're not gonna show tonight. 452 00:40:55,099 --> 00:40:57,199 Chicago's going to be watching. 453 00:40:57,224 --> 00:40:58,804 This will be our ticket out of here, 454 00:40:58,829 --> 00:41:01,011 unless you fuck it up, which you probably will, 455 00:41:01,036 --> 00:41:03,082 you ugly little bitch! 456 00:41:03,107 --> 00:41:05,419 No, I won't mess up, Daddy, I promise. 457 00:41:05,444 --> 00:41:09,186 Nothing will stop me from making you proud. Nothing! 458 00:41:15,777 --> 00:41:17,921 Fuck off, Greg! I'm not taping anymore! 459 00:41:17,946 --> 00:41:20,601 I have to focus before the show! Go away! 460 00:41:24,151 --> 00:41:25,981 Are you deaf? I said, go away! 461 00:41:29,426 --> 00:41:32,342 What the fuck is your problem? 462 00:41:36,686 --> 00:41:39,302 Pledge your soul to the book! 463 00:41:51,522 --> 00:41:54,452 Oh, Jesus, it's a goddamn massacre. 464 00:42:00,067 --> 00:42:03,077 Look. Cameras are still recording. 465 00:42:03,539 --> 00:42:04,888 George, check the footage. 466 00:42:04,913 --> 00:42:06,227 Maybe we can find out what happened. 467 00:42:06,251 --> 00:42:07,876 Leave it to me. 468 00:42:09,091 --> 00:42:10,579 Oh, my God. 469 00:42:12,181 --> 00:42:14,633 Did that thing do all of this by itself? 470 00:42:17,935 --> 00:42:19,399 John? 471 00:42:19,885 --> 00:42:21,424 Oh, dear God, no. 472 00:42:21,449 --> 00:42:22,842 John. 473 00:43:02,426 --> 00:43:05,558 Nothing will stop me, Daddy. 474 00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:07,524 Nothing! 475 00:43:18,141 --> 00:43:19,901 Find anything? 476 00:43:19,964 --> 00:43:22,337 Well, a few dead friends. 477 00:43:23,383 --> 00:43:25,891 And a jar of old silver dollars. 478 00:43:26,161 --> 00:43:28,407 I'll buy you a pop if we survive. 479 00:43:29,108 --> 00:43:32,367 Hey, guys? Hey, guys, found something. 480 00:43:32,392 --> 00:43:34,565 I'll pipe it to the floor monitors. 481 00:43:42,507 --> 00:43:44,988 What do you think, Camaro or hot tub? 482 00:43:45,214 --> 00:43:47,636 - Hot tub. - Yes! 483 00:43:48,905 --> 00:43:50,820 Look at these ink renderings. 484 00:43:50,845 --> 00:43:53,151 Hold on, hold on, I went too far. 485 00:43:54,091 --> 00:43:58,008 The power of the dead lay within these very pages. 486 00:43:58,108 --> 00:44:00,382 Listen to these wretched incantations. 487 00:44:06,712 --> 00:44:08,438 Shut it off, George! 488 00:44:08,815 --> 00:44:11,056 Just shut it off now! 489 00:44:12,674 --> 00:44:16,106 - What's wrong? - He said powers of the dead 490 00:44:16,131 --> 00:44:18,041 lay within the pages of the book. 491 00:44:18,066 --> 00:44:19,632 Listening to wretched incantations 492 00:44:19,672 --> 00:44:22,109 is not gonna improve our situation here! 493 00:44:22,134 --> 00:44:23,418 Book started all of this. 494 00:44:23,443 --> 00:44:25,550 Maybe there's a spell or whatever that can stop it? 495 00:44:25,575 --> 00:44:28,709 Well, that stands to reason, if we can find it. 496 00:44:28,734 --> 00:44:31,449 It's gotta be around here somewhere, but where? 497 00:44:38,085 --> 00:44:40,740 Pledge to the book! 498 00:44:40,765 --> 00:44:42,573 That answers that question. 499 00:44:46,923 --> 00:44:52,015 Shit! Think, George, think! 500 00:45:03,702 --> 00:45:07,010 You will die! 501 00:45:07,035 --> 00:45:10,340 All will be as to the book 502 00:45:10,365 --> 00:45:13,250 and die! 503 00:45:16,975 --> 00:45:19,043 - The book! - George! 504 00:45:20,519 --> 00:45:21,519 George! 505 00:45:21,544 --> 00:45:24,939 - Oh, quick thinking, George! - There. 506 00:45:24,964 --> 00:45:27,901 - He took the Necronomicon. - The what-icon? 507 00:45:27,926 --> 00:45:29,639 The creepy old book. 508 00:45:37,140 --> 00:45:38,731 And be sure to stick around for 509 00:45:38,756 --> 00:45:40,408 a very special live episode of 510 00:45:40,433 --> 00:45:42,549 "Mrs. Bookberry's Magical Library," 511 00:45:42,574 --> 00:45:46,153 coming up next only on WQPS Channel 13. 512 00:45:46,178 --> 00:45:48,579 That video feed is from the Chicago affiliate. 513 00:45:48,764 --> 00:45:50,874 They switch over to "Bookberry" at 6 o'clock. 514 00:45:50,899 --> 00:45:54,891 That's, like... now. 515 00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:58,254 Welcome to my library, children. 516 00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:02,013 Henrietta and I have a very special book 517 00:46:02,038 --> 00:46:04,766 to read to you tonight. 518 00:46:05,248 --> 00:46:08,703 And you fuckers are gonna love it! 519 00:46:09,742 --> 00:46:11,265 I'm so fired. 520 00:46:11,290 --> 00:46:14,125 If she reads that on live television... 521 00:46:14,641 --> 00:46:16,016 She won't. 522 00:46:22,102 --> 00:46:24,365 Listen, my children, 523 00:46:24,390 --> 00:46:27,649 and pledge your souls to the book. 524 00:46:43,063 --> 00:46:47,000 Who dare interrupts the dark text? 525 00:46:48,301 --> 00:46:49,912 I'm responsible for the program quality 526 00:46:49,937 --> 00:46:52,578 of Channel 13, and this show... 527 00:46:52,603 --> 00:46:55,048 does not meet WQPS standards. 528 00:46:55,073 --> 00:46:57,586 And what are you gonna do about it? 529 00:47:02,471 --> 00:47:04,822 We're gonna beat the devil outta you. 530 00:47:36,342 --> 00:47:38,039 Groovy. 531 00:47:40,294 --> 00:47:41,687 Claudia, get the book! 532 00:47:49,997 --> 00:47:52,565 Uh, Ted? Are you okay? 533 00:47:55,895 --> 00:47:58,028 I think I'll get the Camaro. 534 00:48:02,538 --> 00:48:05,006 We want your soul! 535 00:48:05,621 --> 00:48:07,319 The children must hear the words! 536 00:48:07,344 --> 00:48:09,567 The book hungers for young souls! 537 00:48:09,592 --> 00:48:12,764 Hell no! I'm cutting your budget! 538 00:48:14,822 --> 00:48:17,347 - I'm cutting your budget! - Hey, kids! 539 00:48:17,372 --> 00:48:19,444 What are you watching in there? 540 00:48:20,146 --> 00:48:23,919 Do your part! Pledge to the book! 541 00:48:29,824 --> 00:48:32,747 What's amazing find you are! 542 00:48:32,779 --> 00:48:37,716 Let's open you up and see what's inside you! 543 00:48:40,786 --> 00:48:42,504 Norm, get the goddamn puppet! 544 00:48:42,528 --> 00:48:44,753 No, let go of me! Norm, get the puppet! 545 00:48:44,778 --> 00:48:47,450 Pledge to the book! 546 00:48:51,598 --> 00:48:55,460 Pledge to the book! Pledge to the book! 547 00:48:55,485 --> 00:48:57,326 I don't think so! 548 00:48:57,350 --> 00:48:58,974 Not today! 549 00:49:01,211 --> 00:49:03,350 No! 550 00:49:05,869 --> 00:49:08,179 The book, Norm, the book! 551 00:49:08,204 --> 00:49:10,163 Norm, you've gotta lock the book! 552 00:49:52,399 --> 00:49:54,833 We'll go back in with our fan brush and 553 00:49:54,858 --> 00:49:57,264 tap away at the sap green, 554 00:49:58,212 --> 00:50:00,991 and then give our happy little trees some friends. 555 00:50:01,421 --> 00:50:04,131 Just a nice little community of trees. 556 00:50:04,156 --> 00:50:06,538 - Just got off the phone with Chicago. - Mm-hmm. 557 00:50:06,563 --> 00:50:08,764 They want "Love of Painting" to go national. 558 00:50:09,702 --> 00:50:11,319 You're kidding? 559 00:50:11,792 --> 00:50:15,535 Mrs. Bookberry was decapitated on live TV. 560 00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:17,562 Everyone thinks it was a publicity stunt. 561 00:50:17,671 --> 00:50:20,022 They don't care. We got lucky. 562 00:50:20,297 --> 00:50:22,081 "Maybe it is karma." 563 00:50:25,158 --> 00:50:26,433 Shut up. 564 00:50:26,458 --> 00:50:29,868 Trees are like people. They need friends. 565 00:50:32,135 --> 00:50:34,689 Hope you all make some good friends today. 566 00:50:34,714 --> 00:50:38,704 From all of us here, happy painting, and God bless. 567 00:50:39,601 --> 00:50:42,564 Kanda estrata... 568 00:51:03,513 --> 00:51:06,513 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 40130

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