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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Subtitles downloaded from podnapisi.NET 2 00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:36,577 - Sure you don't wanna go to my room? - No. Why? 3 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,330 My roommate's already moved out. We'll be all alone. 4 00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:40,998 - All right. - The door is locked. 5 00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,959 - Okay, Jim, relax. Relax. - Okay, yeah, sure. 6 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,170 No strings attached, okay? It's just friendly goodbye sex. 7 00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,774 Yeah, right. Right, right, right, right. 8 00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:52,385 But you see, it's just that... 9 00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:55,388 we've never even had friendly hello sex. 10 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:59,117 - So do you not wanna do this? - Oh, no, no, no. 11 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:02,788 Oh, I do. Yeah. No, I definitely do. 12 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,439 It's just that... 13 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,859 you see, this is actually my first time. 14 00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:11,028 Well, not my first. It's my first time... 15 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,674 since my first time. 16 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,909 So, technically, that's my second time. 17 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:20,162 And I don't... I don't wanna suck at it. 18 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:22,683 So if I'm not up to par, performance-wise... 19 00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:26,419 Jim, this isn't exactly a turn-on. 20 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,231 I mean, girls like a guy with confidence. 21 00:01:30,549 --> 00:01:31,924 Hey, I'm confident. 22 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:36,196 Oh, I am... I'm absolutely, totally confident. 23 00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:39,449 - Let's get naked. - Okay. 24 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:46,081 Seems like just yesterday my dad picked me up after my first year at college. 25 00:01:47,149 --> 00:01:49,275 We popped a couple of beers... 26 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,694 and he said, "Now, you're a man." 27 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:54,113 And today I get to say the same thing to my son. 28 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,282 Honey, your speeches embarrass him. 29 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:59,535 So, try and do what the kids say, and just be cool. 30 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:03,247 I think I bring new meaning to the word "cool," honey. 31 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:05,017 That's his dormitory up ahead. 32 00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,451 Turn over. 33 00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:32,360 - Can't bring alcohol in the dorms. - Good. 34 00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:36,572 Thank you, Matt. I'm just here to surprise my son Jim. 35 00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:38,783 - Now pin my leg up. - What? 36 00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:41,386 Pin my leg up, like this. 37 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:47,225 Maybe you can help me out, you know. 38 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:52,755 Is that the one? No. 39 00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:53,774 There! 40 00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,237 Now I remember. 41 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,766 I didn't do this for you. 42 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,452 Thanks, dude. 43 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,623 - Where's my big guy? - Oh, my God! 44 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,988 - Jesus! - Jim, we got here a little early. 45 00:03:16,989 --> 00:03:19,240 - Dad, get out! - I'll wait in the car. 46 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,842 Go, Dad! Oh, my... 47 00:03:22,411 --> 00:03:23,971 - Jeez! - Was that your dad? 48 00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:26,455 - I'm so sorry. - For your own edification... 49 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:27,915 son, I'm not embarrassed. 50 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,041 I am! 51 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:33,171 It's a perfectly normal thing for two human beings to do. 52 00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:35,339 This is human nature... human nature at its best. 53 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:39,635 Son, everybody does it. Your mother and I... Well, not so much any more. 54 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,096 Got your favourite. Oh, my God! They're fucking! 55 00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:45,391 Honey, honey, listen. I'm gonna take her... 56 00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,186 - Please just go! - Actually, if you wouldn't mind. 57 00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:50,706 Honey... I'll take her to the car. 58 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,483 - Hi, Mama. - What? 59 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:55,818 Natalie! 60 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,320 I'm Jim's dad. 61 00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,006 You must be the parents of this young lady. 62 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:02,342 I'm sorry I didn't get her name, but hopefully my son did... 63 00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,327 because I have not been here the whole time. 64 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:06,621 Natalie, get dressed! 65 00:04:06,622 --> 00:04:09,373 - Beer? - Avert your eyes! Turn around! 66 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,560 - Thanks, Jim. Don't believe in locks? - Oh, my God! 67 00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:33,272 Hey, fuckface. 68 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:37,252 - Mornin', dude. - Come on, Ozzy. It's show time. 69 00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:42,615 Before you go to Ann Arbor to pick up Heather... 70 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,676 I wanna show you what you're missing. 71 00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:49,121 See what they are today, dude. See what they are today. 72 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,475 Okay, here we go. Moment of truth. 73 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:58,256 - There's little hearts on her panties! - Super. 74 00:04:58,257 --> 00:05:01,175 There's little hearts on her panties! Come on, look, you pussy. Look. 75 00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,678 What the fuck, man? Come on! 76 00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,263 I'm disappointed in you. 77 00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:08,266 Here it is, the end of our freshman year and you screwed one girl. 78 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:10,434 One. 79 00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:12,436 You're a disgrace to men everywhere. 80 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:15,523 Look at the Stifmeister. I got laid 23 times this year... 81 00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:18,985 and I'm not counting the hummer I got in the library stacks, baby. 82 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,779 All right, here's a new idea for you, Stifler, okay? 83 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:24,031 You find a girl. You two become best friends. 84 00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:26,993 You don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other. 85 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:30,705 - You laugh at the people who do count. - Here's a new idea for you. 86 00:05:30,706 --> 00:05:33,207 I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass. 87 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:37,229 Okay, people, notebooks closed. Let's get this exam rolling. 88 00:05:38,422 --> 00:05:41,465 Oh, shit! Do we got an exam today? 89 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,152 - Are you kiddin' me? - Bullshit. 90 00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:49,682 Yes! 91 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,476 I'm never even gonna think about political science again. 92 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:54,562 Hey. How'd you do? 93 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,772 - Fine. - Yeah? 94 00:05:56,773 --> 00:06:00,568 Can't believe I'm going abroad for summer. Last thing I need is more classes. 95 00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:03,588 - You're gonna have a great time. - Hello, summer! 96 00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,592 - Did that exam blow or what? - Yeah, it sucked. 97 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,536 - Kev, what's up, man? How are you? - Good. 98 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,788 Put your party hat on. 99 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:15,350 - We got 12 weeks of immortality ahead. - Yes, sir! 100 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,777 Weird. 101 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:45,130 The one that got away, huh, son? 102 00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:54,288 Well, evidently you two... 103 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:56,975 made quite the handsome couple on the Internet. 104 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,462 I didn't see it. 105 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:05,049 It was brought up at a PTA meeting. 106 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:08,010 Anyway, my point is... 107 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:10,930 these little sexual debacles should not get you down... 108 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,682 because you know what? 109 00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:14,517 It happens to the best of us. 110 00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:16,853 In fact... 111 00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:19,897 the first time your mother and I... 112 00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:21,649 got together... 113 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,984 I used a condom. 114 00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:27,005 Well, she referred to it as "shrink wrapping." 115 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,284 But I got over it. 116 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,578 Anyway, keep your chin up. You keep plugging... 117 00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:36,205 and good things will happen. 118 00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:38,850 Good to have you home, son. 119 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:45,315 It's good to be home, Dad. 120 00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:48,217 It's gonna be nice to hit Stifler's tonight after exams. 121 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:51,554 - Did you get through 'em? - There's the mystery man! 122 00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:53,323 Finch, how are you? 123 00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:01,522 It's Japanese. 124 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:04,859 It means "hello." Hello. 125 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:09,488 - Finch, what happened to Latin? - Met a Japanese girl at the art museum. 126 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,616 Changed majors. 127 00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:13,868 Wanted to understand the things she was moaning. 128 00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:16,787 - You got laid in an art museum? - The Met. 129 00:08:16,788 --> 00:08:20,333 - And the Guggenheim with Francesca. - The Guggenheim? 130 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:23,461 And then my social-psych professor in Baskin-Robbins. 131 00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,046 All right, enough. 132 00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:29,050 But I'll tell you, none of these women even compare to... 133 00:08:29,051 --> 00:08:30,652 Stifler's mom. 134 00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:34,239 Stifler's mom is a goddess. 135 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:42,104 How about some more of Stifmeister's collegiate concoction? 136 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:45,959 This thing is like half alcohol. You're just trying to get me drunk. 137 00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,445 Mary, would I do that? 138 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:54,075 - My name's Christy. - Christy, right. Beautiful name. 139 00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,618 Like it matters. 140 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,662 Hey, how you doing? 141 00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:59,914 Howdy-howdy, fuckin' partners! 142 00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:02,476 Johnny C., how's it going? Good to see you. 143 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,670 Looks like someone gained the freshman 15. 144 00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:07,755 - This'll help. - You're an asshole. 145 00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,090 Missed you too. 146 00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:13,070 All right, everybody having a good time? Ladies? 147 00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:16,514 Fellas! How's it going? 148 00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:19,141 The keg's back there as always. Enjoy. 149 00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:24,480 Ladies, I'm Steve Stifler and I have an 11-inch penis... 150 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,691 around! 151 00:09:26,692 --> 00:09:30,027 Think about it. Sherman! 152 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:33,197 Okay, Stifler, take your shot. Ha, ha. 153 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:36,301 Come on, man. I'm really happy to see you. 154 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:38,870 All right. 155 00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:40,806 You stupid fuck! 156 00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:45,209 - Are you Steve Stifler? - Yes, I am. 157 00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:47,253 Thank you for throwing this awesome party, man. 158 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:50,339 - No problem. - The cops bust all our parties now. 159 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:54,802 Well, I put the word out so high school chicks would come. 160 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:58,657 Just 'cause you fuckers don't have dicks doesn't make it okay for you to be here. 161 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:03,477 - Hey, could I ask you a question? - Sure, son. 162 00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:07,332 Is it true that Paul Finch nailed your mom? 163 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:10,877 Sons of bitches. 164 00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:13,839 My mom's a saint! 165 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:16,383 The joke's on Finch! 166 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:19,493 Hey, Carlos, Jason. 167 00:10:19,494 --> 00:10:22,014 What's goin' on? Keg's back on the deck. 168 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,499 How was Iowa State? 169 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:27,752 Did you see those fuckers I had to boot out of here? 170 00:10:27,753 --> 00:10:31,589 Back at Stifler's. It's just like old times. 171 00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:34,675 One difference. We're college men now. 172 00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:37,178 Some of these girls are from the grade below us. 173 00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:39,448 I might actually have a chance. 174 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,409 Hey, I remember you. 175 00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,270 Do you now? 176 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,957 You're that guy who blew his load on the Internet. 177 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:53,712 Splat. "Oh, wait, Nadia, don't go." Splat. 178 00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:57,257 - Pathetic. - Loser. 179 00:10:57,783 --> 00:10:59,926 It's exactly like old times. 180 00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:05,390 - I'm gonna miss you. - I'll miss you. 181 00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,460 I'll call you when I get in, okay? 182 00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:10,896 Go have fun. 183 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,398 Bye. 184 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:28,062 I can't believe those two girls, Kevin. 185 00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:30,064 Jim, it's not a big deal. 186 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:32,584 They toyed with my emotions. 187 00:11:33,652 --> 00:11:35,820 - Hello. Hello. - See? There's other girls. 188 00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:39,782 - How are you? - You got nothing to worry about, man. 189 00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:41,885 Jessica's here. 190 00:11:42,995 --> 00:11:44,471 With Vicky. 191 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:49,417 And Vicky got hot! 192 00:11:49,418 --> 00:11:52,086 What's that supposed to mean? 193 00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:53,421 Look at her. 194 00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:57,109 - Yeah, Jim, I see her. - Hey, Kevin. 195 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,028 I'll be right back. 196 00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:05,349 - Hey, Vic, how are you? - What's up? 197 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,393 - I'm okay. - Yeah, I'm good. 198 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:08,519 That's good. 199 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,831 - It's good to hear. - Yeah, you too. 200 00:12:12,024 --> 00:12:13,691 Wow. 201 00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,569 Well, this is about as comfortable as a high colonic in Tijuana. 202 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,697 And I would know. Okay. 203 00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:22,700 - I'm gonna get a drink. - She's right. 204 00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:26,204 - Why is this so weird? - Actually, I have no idea. 205 00:12:26,205 --> 00:12:29,707 See, I knew it. I knew you'd be mature about this. 206 00:12:29,708 --> 00:12:31,977 You know, and we could still be friends, right? 207 00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,980 I miss you, Kev. 208 00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:39,568 Whoa. 209 00:12:41,053 --> 00:12:43,721 Friends, right? 210 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:48,368 Yeah, right. I mean, I know you said friends and I... I just... 211 00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:51,812 I'm sorry. I was... It was just... 212 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:54,732 an old habit... a friend kiss. 213 00:12:54,733 --> 00:12:56,275 Are you sure? 214 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,070 Vic, why wouldn't I wanna be friends with you? 215 00:12:59,071 --> 00:13:02,591 Look, we'll... we'll just do this, okay? 216 00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:05,552 - Friends. - Friends. 217 00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:11,916 - Ozzy, my man! - There he is. 218 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:14,961 Shake off your chains of monogamy? You're a free man. 219 00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:18,506 I don't think so, Stifler. I'll never turn over to the dark side. 220 00:13:18,507 --> 00:13:21,926 Dumb ass. What happened to the Nova I knew in high school? 221 00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:24,887 Nova, as in Casanova, the guy who had all the moves. 222 00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:28,349 - He was an idiot. - Yeah, but he was my idiot. 223 00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:31,269 Hey, everyone, listen up! 224 00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:33,437 Nova's back, baby... 225 00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:36,416 and he's taken the lock off his cock! 226 00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:40,903 Ozzy, I'm lobbing you a softball. 227 00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:43,281 Pull out your bat and take a swing. 228 00:13:43,282 --> 00:13:44,633 Mandy. 229 00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:49,996 This is my friend, Oz. All-state lacrosse two years in a row. 230 00:13:49,997 --> 00:13:52,874 - Hi, Oz. - Mandy, how are you? 231 00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:55,668 Listen. I have a girlfriend. 232 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,980 It was a pleasure meeting you. 233 00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,065 Beer out back? 234 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,735 You pussy! 235 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:17,124 Stifler's mom's room. 236 00:14:32,206 --> 00:14:34,933 How did you do that magic you did? 237 00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:55,037 Tantra. 238 00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:02,127 What the fuck are you doin' in here? 239 00:15:02,653 --> 00:15:04,946 - Just relax. - You get out of my house! 240 00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:07,532 - Jesus Christ! - Come back here, you little fucker! 241 00:15:07,533 --> 00:15:09,801 Come back here, you son of a bitch! 242 00:15:10,786 --> 00:15:13,204 Easy! That's enough. 243 00:15:13,205 --> 00:15:15,998 Okay, guys, we went through this last summer, all right? 244 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:18,376 Finch got a black eye and Stifler got six stitches. 245 00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:19,836 'Cause he fuckin' bit me! 246 00:15:19,837 --> 00:15:21,379 You touch me, I bite. 247 00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:24,775 - You two relax and shake hands. - Shake this. 248 00:15:28,679 --> 00:15:30,179 I need a drink. 249 00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:33,224 Why is everybody taking a piss right now? 250 00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:36,936 - Line's too long. I ain't gonna make it. - You'll be okay. Relax. 251 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:40,565 Hey, bro. Hey, man, you're the guy who boned Stifler's mom. 252 00:15:40,566 --> 00:15:43,609 - Hey, you are a god. - Holy shit, dude. 253 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:47,530 If I didn't have to hold my dick 'cause I gotta piss, I would shake your hand. 254 00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:50,074 - I'm honored, guys. - Don't leave. 255 00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:52,910 You must teach me. How? 256 00:15:52,911 --> 00:15:53,887 How? 257 00:15:55,581 --> 00:15:57,808 Look what I found, Christy. 258 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,560 What a coincidence. 259 00:16:04,423 --> 00:16:07,633 I've been saving this for a special occasion... 260 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:11,029 for a special girl, just like you. 261 00:16:11,889 --> 00:16:14,515 - You're so sweet. - That's what they say. 262 00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:16,034 Weird. 263 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:19,395 - Oh, my God. - I spilled some on you. 264 00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:21,731 - Maybe I should mop that up. - Thanks. 265 00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:23,107 No problem. 266 00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:24,859 Whoa! Whoa, hey. 267 00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:28,112 - Take it slow. Come on. - Right. 268 00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:31,550 You know, they warn us about these situations in college. 269 00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:36,621 Now, you may be intoxicated. 270 00:16:36,622 --> 00:16:38,664 Oh, yeah. 271 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,501 Are you certain that you wish to engage in consenting... 272 00:16:41,502 --> 00:16:44,128 Hey, don't count your chickens, buster. 273 00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:48,424 - I'm just playing by the rules, baby. - I make the rules. 274 00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:50,777 That's a pretty good fucking rule. 275 00:16:55,474 --> 00:16:58,309 Dude, the line's too long. I'll never make it. 276 00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:00,329 It's gotta happen now. Get my back. 277 00:17:07,736 --> 00:17:09,755 - Clamp it off. - Hello. 278 00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,508 - How are you? - Awesome. 279 00:17:14,618 --> 00:17:16,619 - How are you? - I'm really good. 280 00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:20,164 How 'bout I give you a little champagne? 281 00:17:20,165 --> 00:17:22,142 Go downstairs and get us some beers? 282 00:17:22,292 --> 00:17:25,545 I've got a surprise for you. Close your eyes and get ready. 283 00:17:25,546 --> 00:17:27,272 I'm ready. 284 00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:31,944 - You want a beer? - Yeah, all right. 285 00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:37,783 Okay, go. 286 00:17:40,853 --> 00:17:43,622 This is kind of kinky, and I like that. 287 00:17:49,111 --> 00:17:52,005 That's it. Bathe the Stifmeister. 288 00:17:55,534 --> 00:17:57,368 Oh, that's great! 289 00:17:57,369 --> 00:17:59,620 That's great. 290 00:17:59,621 --> 00:18:01,765 How did you get it so nice and warm? 291 00:18:05,711 --> 00:18:07,896 I can taste the bubbles. 292 00:18:10,966 --> 00:18:12,317 Actually, I can't. 293 00:18:17,681 --> 00:18:19,491 Much better. 294 00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:23,728 Wait a second. 295 00:18:23,729 --> 00:18:26,623 - Let's go. - Thanks, man. 296 00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:30,502 Christy? 297 00:18:32,613 --> 00:18:34,715 Oh, fuck! 298 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:42,371 Yep. Half these got East High parking passes on them. 299 00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:45,416 Gotta break up another one. Call in a couple of units. 300 00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:48,503 - Isn't this the Stifler house? - Yeah. Ever seen Mrs Stifler? 301 00:18:48,504 --> 00:18:51,857 - What a MILF! - Yeah? She got all that? 302 00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:54,800 Okay, now... 303 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,345 do these high school kids think we're cool... 304 00:18:57,346 --> 00:18:59,472 because they're at a college party... 305 00:18:59,473 --> 00:19:02,725 or are we those weird older guys... 306 00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:05,353 that try to hang out with high school kids when we come home? 307 00:19:05,354 --> 00:19:08,606 No way. We're definitely not those guys. 308 00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:10,083 Cops! Cops! 309 00:19:11,443 --> 00:19:13,253 Break it up. Party's over. 310 00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:15,363 Let's go. 311 00:19:15,364 --> 00:19:17,657 Ostreicher, Myers. 312 00:19:17,658 --> 00:19:19,408 Welcome back. 313 00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,720 Where's Steve Stifler? 314 00:19:27,793 --> 00:19:29,853 I got peed on. 315 00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:34,131 No, man, Stifler's got shut down. 316 00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:37,051 We can't party anywhere any more. 317 00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:39,595 And things are... 318 00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:42,974 - Getting weird? - Yeah, a little bit. 319 00:19:42,975 --> 00:19:45,476 First summer back from college. 320 00:19:45,477 --> 00:19:48,354 Yep, things are gonna get weirder. 321 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:51,816 - What are you talkin' about? - Well, times change, people change. 322 00:19:51,817 --> 00:19:53,818 It's just what happens, you now. 323 00:19:53,819 --> 00:19:57,488 Kev, listen. Go into my old room. 324 00:19:57,489 --> 00:20:01,159 My friends and I knew that it was up to us to stick together. 325 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,996 You remember my first college summer? We rented the lake house in Grand Harbor. 326 00:20:04,997 --> 00:20:08,207 We treated every day out there lie it was a post-prom party. 327 00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:11,169 Hell of a time. We capped it all off with a massive blow-out. 328 00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:13,337 Best ever. It was legendary. 329 00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:15,756 My advice is do that. By the end of the summer... 330 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:18,735 you're gonna see the big picture. 331 00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:37,153 - She's on the phone. It's long-distance. - Who? 332 00:20:37,154 --> 00:20:38,863 - Nadia! Nadia! - What? 333 00:20:38,864 --> 00:20:42,658 New York. Hello. Yes, dear, he's right here. 334 00:20:42,659 --> 00:20:44,785 - Here. Wait. - Now remember... 335 00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:48,039 Yes, I am sure to go see the Lion King. 336 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:51,209 Right. And don't ride the subway after midnight. 337 00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:55,046 I know they've done wonderful things with that city, but, you know, for me... 338 00:20:55,047 --> 00:20:58,275 - Dad! - He's right... Hang on. 339 00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:06,516 - How was college? - College was excellent. 340 00:21:06,517 --> 00:21:09,560 Yeah. Yeah, it was... it was really excellent. 341 00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:12,271 You have not forgotten about me, have you? 342 00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:15,691 No. I... Absolutely not. 343 00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:19,070 - I definitely didn't. - Good, because guess what. 344 00:21:19,071 --> 00:21:21,364 I'm coming to see you at the end of summer. 345 00:21:21,365 --> 00:21:23,991 I hope you're ready for me... 346 00:21:23,992 --> 00:21:28,704 because I have not forgotten about you either, you sexy boy. 347 00:21:28,705 --> 00:21:31,415 - Shit. - Jim, you can eat hot dogs tomorrow. 348 00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:34,877 No, Finch, it's not the hot dogs. 349 00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:36,879 Nadia called me this morning. 350 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,132 She's coming here at the end of the summer and she wants to see me. 351 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:43,386 - That's killer. - Yeah, that's a good thing. 352 00:21:43,387 --> 00:21:46,347 No, not "good thing." Not "killer." 353 00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:48,558 I'll never be able to do it. 354 00:21:48,559 --> 00:21:52,520 Nadia is gonna be expecting filet mignon. 355 00:21:52,521 --> 00:21:57,108 Okay, and all I'm gonna be able to give her... 356 00:21:57,109 --> 00:21:58,794 is rump roast. 357 00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:02,363 Come on. 358 00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:04,907 Jim, you've had experience since Nadia. 359 00:22:04,908 --> 00:22:06,909 Ah, yes, you would be referring to... 360 00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:10,371 the flute-fetish band geek that made me her bitch, then ditched me after prom. 361 00:22:10,372 --> 00:22:12,540 Yes, that's great experience. 362 00:22:12,541 --> 00:22:16,127 You just gotta find the right girl, Jimbo. 363 00:22:16,128 --> 00:22:18,212 - Brings it all together. - I had the right woman. 364 00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:22,401 She just sells her cottage and takes off to parts unknown. 365 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:26,053 My romantic life has passed its peak. 366 00:22:26,054 --> 00:22:28,306 Take me out to the pasture and shoot me. 367 00:22:28,307 --> 00:22:33,120 Super start to a super summer, fellas. Welcome home. 368 00:22:34,730 --> 00:22:38,566 Guys, I got it. Pack your bags. 369 00:22:38,567 --> 00:22:39,901 For what? 370 00:22:39,902 --> 00:22:42,087 We're moving to the lake. 371 00:22:45,282 --> 00:22:48,534 We're gonna be the shit. Everybody on the beach is gonna know us. 372 00:22:48,535 --> 00:22:51,329 Plenty of opportunities to practice for Nadia. 373 00:22:51,330 --> 00:22:54,665 Throw a huge party at the end of the summer to cap it all off. 374 00:22:54,666 --> 00:22:58,377 Dude, that's a great idea. That way we'll be able to welcome Heather back... 375 00:22:58,378 --> 00:23:01,506 and we'll be able to prepare for Nadia's big arrival. 376 00:23:01,507 --> 00:23:05,218 This is it. This is my summer of love. 377 00:23:05,219 --> 00:23:07,512 Just thought I'd say goodbye to you animals. 378 00:23:07,513 --> 00:23:09,865 Hey, Mr Levenstein. How are you, sir? 379 00:23:11,183 --> 00:23:14,185 - All packed up, I see. - We're all set, Dad. 380 00:23:14,186 --> 00:23:16,771 Don't worry, okay? I'll be fine. 381 00:23:16,772 --> 00:23:18,832 Come on and give your old man a hug. 382 00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:32,119 Keep it real, homies. 383 00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:34,431 You too, sir. Have a good summer. 384 00:23:35,374 --> 00:23:37,708 All right, let's go. 385 00:23:37,709 --> 00:23:39,627 I've been running these numbers here... 386 00:23:39,628 --> 00:23:42,255 and I don't think the four of us can afford this place. 387 00:23:42,256 --> 00:23:46,109 - Not on summer jobs. - Well, I kinda thought of that. 388 00:23:46,677 --> 00:23:50,322 So, I invited someone else. 389 00:23:52,516 --> 00:23:56,519 Oh, yeah! The Stifmeister's coming back to Grand Harbor! 390 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,105 Deck the halls! Bye-bye, Great Falls! 391 00:23:59,106 --> 00:24:01,440 Wipe my ass and lick my balls! 392 00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:03,835 It's Stifler time, baby! 393 00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:22,461 Stifler, if you're gonna be living with us, you gotta behave yourself. 394 00:24:22,462 --> 00:24:26,424 All right, you and Finch just stay out of each other's way. 395 00:24:26,425 --> 00:24:29,260 Kevin, Stifler's stench is unavoidable. 396 00:24:29,261 --> 00:24:31,446 Finch, fist yourself. 397 00:24:33,515 --> 00:24:35,701 That's right, baby. We're here. 398 00:24:36,268 --> 00:24:38,495 Yeah, baby, we're here! 399 00:25:05,672 --> 00:25:08,650 - It's a palace. - It's a temple. 400 00:25:11,470 --> 00:25:13,488 Isn't this great? 401 00:25:14,473 --> 00:25:16,325 Are you kidding me? 402 00:25:32,533 --> 00:25:34,259 This just won't do. 403 00:26:07,901 --> 00:26:09,461 Guys. 404 00:26:11,822 --> 00:26:14,675 Check this out. This is it. 405 00:26:25,836 --> 00:26:28,563 Will you idiots tell me what this fucker's doin'? 406 00:26:35,262 --> 00:26:37,054 Don't touch me while I'm tantric. 407 00:26:37,055 --> 00:26:40,641 "Tantric?" What the fuck is tantric? 408 00:26:40,642 --> 00:26:42,393 It's a Buddhist discipline. 409 00:26:42,394 --> 00:26:47,148 You learn to channel your body's energies... your chakras. 410 00:26:47,149 --> 00:26:51,110 When you can do that, you can have sex for hours, even days. 411 00:26:51,111 --> 00:26:52,737 And this stuff's for real? 412 00:26:52,738 --> 00:26:55,239 It's been around for centuries. 413 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,700 With tantra you can make an entire session of sex... 414 00:26:57,701 --> 00:27:00,703 feel like one giant orgasm. 415 00:27:00,704 --> 00:27:04,624 Eventually, you can sustain that feeling by meditating. 416 00:27:04,625 --> 00:27:07,960 - Maybe you can teach me sometime? - Very doubtful. 417 00:27:07,961 --> 00:27:10,254 - True. - Come on, Jim. 418 00:27:10,255 --> 00:27:13,591 - You can't possibly be that bad. - Oh, no? 419 00:27:13,592 --> 00:27:15,885 No way. 420 00:27:15,886 --> 00:27:19,764 I guess there's only one person that really knows for sure, huh? 421 00:27:19,765 --> 00:27:22,451 Oh, yeah? Where is she this summer? 422 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,617 Hey, are you here for the mid-session performance? 423 00:27:39,618 --> 00:27:41,828 Guests go in the amphitheatre. You can't be here. 424 00:27:41,829 --> 00:27:43,871 Do you know where I could find Michele Flaherty? 425 00:27:43,872 --> 00:27:46,958 Guests bring food. Food attracts animals. This one time... 426 00:27:46,959 --> 00:27:49,418 a bear came, and then the bear had to be destroyed... 427 00:27:49,419 --> 00:27:52,439 which means they shot it in the head with a rifle and killed it and it died. 428 00:27:53,090 --> 00:27:55,091 You must know Michele. 429 00:27:55,092 --> 00:27:57,361 One, two, three, four. 430 00:28:15,571 --> 00:28:17,506 That's a lot of flutes. 431 00:28:22,077 --> 00:28:24,245 Good luck. Thanks. 432 00:28:24,246 --> 00:28:27,057 Good job. Have fun at your next class. 433 00:28:33,130 --> 00:28:35,148 Jim. Holy potatoes! 434 00:28:35,883 --> 00:28:38,426 You're really here? 435 00:28:38,427 --> 00:28:39,635 Oh, shoot! 436 00:28:39,636 --> 00:28:41,822 We're not supposed to have visitors... 437 00:28:42,472 --> 00:28:45,158 'cause this one time, here... 438 00:28:45,475 --> 00:28:47,435 this kid had these cookies... 439 00:28:47,436 --> 00:28:50,313 Let me guess. A bear came. 440 00:28:50,314 --> 00:28:51,480 Cool. 441 00:28:51,481 --> 00:28:53,834 It's like you know all our stories. 442 00:28:55,652 --> 00:28:57,695 Was that a question? 443 00:28:57,696 --> 00:28:59,822 I don't know. Maybe. 444 00:28:59,823 --> 00:29:02,175 Do you wanna answer it anyway? 445 00:29:03,410 --> 00:29:07,997 I left you like... like three messages after prom. 446 00:29:07,998 --> 00:29:09,373 Really? 447 00:29:09,374 --> 00:29:12,210 You didn't think I was weird... 448 00:29:12,211 --> 00:29:14,795 because of the way I acted that night? 449 00:29:14,796 --> 00:29:17,548 Weird, no. 450 00:29:17,549 --> 00:29:19,717 Surprising, yes. 451 00:29:19,718 --> 00:29:22,178 I get nasty when I'm horny. 452 00:29:22,179 --> 00:29:24,781 That's kind of why I'm here. 453 00:29:26,225 --> 00:29:29,727 You remember, was I any good that night? 454 00:29:29,728 --> 00:29:32,855 Wow. Jeez. 455 00:29:32,856 --> 00:29:34,690 How could I forget? 456 00:29:34,691 --> 00:29:38,653 You sucked. You didn't know what the hell you were doing. 457 00:29:38,654 --> 00:29:42,323 But wasn't it fun even though you were so terrible? 458 00:29:42,324 --> 00:29:45,344 - I'm sorry. "Terrible?" - I've had worse. 459 00:29:47,913 --> 00:29:49,121 Sorry. 460 00:29:49,122 --> 00:29:52,416 I could give you some pointers if you want. 461 00:29:52,417 --> 00:29:53,852 Really? 462 00:29:55,546 --> 00:29:59,340 Shoot. Okay, wait here. I'll meet you in an hour, okay? 463 00:29:59,341 --> 00:30:01,300 - Yeah. - Wait. 464 00:30:01,301 --> 00:30:03,528 Cool idea. 465 00:30:12,604 --> 00:30:14,998 What are you doing? 466 00:30:17,401 --> 00:30:20,611 You're all right. Here we go. You know you're not supposed to be here now. 467 00:30:20,612 --> 00:30:24,615 Everyone's supposed to be in the amphitheatre. All right, come on. 468 00:30:24,616 --> 00:30:27,118 It's piss-poor to be this late. I'm very angry right now. 469 00:30:27,119 --> 00:30:30,121 You can tell by the tone of my voice I'm angry. I'm pissed off. 470 00:30:30,122 --> 00:30:32,456 Here they are. Got him home. 471 00:30:32,457 --> 00:30:34,559 Wait a minute. Are you Petey? 472 00:30:36,253 --> 00:30:37,712 Yeah, sure. 473 00:30:37,713 --> 00:30:40,256 Petey! Well, that explains everything. 474 00:30:40,257 --> 00:30:42,967 All right. Well, always something with these kids. Go! 475 00:30:42,968 --> 00:30:47,263 We are just so thrilled to have you. None of my kids are at your caliber. 476 00:30:47,264 --> 00:30:49,390 But we are just so overjoyed... 477 00:30:49,391 --> 00:30:51,809 to have someone with your kind of talent here. 478 00:30:51,810 --> 00:30:53,603 Here you go. 479 00:30:53,604 --> 00:30:55,813 Look at this. Your old best friend. 480 00:30:55,814 --> 00:30:57,773 I know it's not yours... 481 00:30:57,774 --> 00:30:59,942 but you are going to make beautiful music. 482 00:30:59,943 --> 00:31:02,111 This is fantastic. I'm very excited. 483 00:31:02,112 --> 00:31:05,591 You just own this and break a leg. 484 00:31:23,383 --> 00:31:25,343 What was he doing wandering unsupervised? 485 00:31:25,344 --> 00:31:27,178 Who knows? 486 00:31:27,179 --> 00:31:30,824 I'll tell you something. I'm about fed up with these Tall Oaks North kids. 487 00:31:37,314 --> 00:31:40,358 Kids, entertain yourselves. Play along with Petey. 488 00:31:40,359 --> 00:31:43,277 No, no, no, Petey. Here we go. 489 00:31:43,278 --> 00:31:45,839 All right, all right. Come on, now. A little encouragement. 490 00:31:48,659 --> 00:31:51,428 Folks, he's just a little nervous. 491 00:31:52,371 --> 00:31:54,288 This isn't right. 492 00:31:54,289 --> 00:31:56,290 Just blow on it, kid. All right. 493 00:31:56,291 --> 00:31:57,976 Here we go. 494 00:32:09,763 --> 00:32:12,032 Play! Do something. 495 00:32:23,068 --> 00:32:25,153 Special, my ass. 496 00:32:25,154 --> 00:32:27,547 Come on. Give the little guy some support. 497 00:32:29,825 --> 00:32:32,928 Come on, Petey. You're doing great, partner. 498 00:32:34,246 --> 00:32:36,455 Come on, honey. You can do it. 499 00:32:36,456 --> 00:32:38,183 Come on, Petey. 500 00:32:40,169 --> 00:32:41,853 What the hell. 501 00:32:45,841 --> 00:32:47,425 All right! 502 00:32:47,426 --> 00:32:51,488 All right, Petey! Come on, now! Come on! 503 00:32:52,431 --> 00:32:54,366 Rock and roll! 504 00:33:37,392 --> 00:33:38,410 Thank you! 505 00:33:41,313 --> 00:33:43,332 Thank you, Tall Oaks. You're beautiful. 506 00:33:48,570 --> 00:33:50,589 My name is Petey! 507 00:33:51,573 --> 00:33:54,134 Thank you! 508 00:33:54,827 --> 00:33:57,137 And I have gigantic balls! 509 00:34:14,763 --> 00:34:16,365 Not now! Come back later. Go! 510 00:34:20,227 --> 00:34:22,645 Hey, hey, hey. Come back here! 511 00:34:22,646 --> 00:34:25,982 - I wanna talk to you! - You are so sweet. 512 00:34:25,983 --> 00:34:29,002 He is special. 513 00:34:29,319 --> 00:34:31,546 He's my bitch. 514 00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:35,700 Well, Michele has confirmed it. 515 00:34:35,701 --> 00:34:39,203 - I suck. - What? 516 00:34:39,204 --> 00:34:42,081 I gotta get some practice. 517 00:34:42,082 --> 00:34:45,501 Don't worry about it. I mean, that's why we got the house, Jimbo. 518 00:34:45,502 --> 00:34:49,881 We plop a keg on the deck and the girls come in off the beach. 519 00:34:49,882 --> 00:34:53,050 It's like a hummingbird feeder. 520 00:34:53,051 --> 00:34:56,053 - You think so? - I know so. 521 00:34:56,054 --> 00:34:58,073 Guaranteed hotties. 522 00:34:58,348 --> 00:35:00,766 Fellas, nice pad. 523 00:35:00,767 --> 00:35:03,811 Good view, but... 524 00:35:03,812 --> 00:35:07,315 the Sherminator sensors detect no female life forms in the vicinity. 525 00:35:07,316 --> 00:35:11,736 High likelihood of a sausage fest in progress. 526 00:35:11,737 --> 00:35:14,214 The girls are coming. I made some calls. 527 00:35:16,450 --> 00:35:19,785 The Sherminator's got a point, Kev. 528 00:35:19,786 --> 00:35:23,873 Since when do you start listening to the Sherminator? 529 00:35:23,874 --> 00:35:27,835 Since he made me realize there's an abundance of wiener here. 530 00:35:27,836 --> 00:35:30,463 I mean, look around, dude. 531 00:35:30,464 --> 00:35:32,757 All right, now it's your turn. 532 00:35:32,758 --> 00:35:34,818 Come on. There's nothing to tell. 533 00:35:35,761 --> 00:35:38,387 Hey, what's up? What are you guys talking about? 534 00:35:38,388 --> 00:35:40,681 You know, we're just trading war stories about college... 535 00:35:40,682 --> 00:35:43,184 who hooked up with who, who slept with who... 536 00:35:43,185 --> 00:35:45,478 So, Vicky? 537 00:35:45,479 --> 00:35:49,565 Well, there was this one guy. How 'bout you? 538 00:35:49,566 --> 00:35:52,276 You know, there was a few girls... 539 00:35:52,277 --> 00:35:53,361 three. 540 00:35:53,362 --> 00:35:56,340 Look at you. You stud. 541 00:35:57,658 --> 00:35:59,951 All right, Oz. Now that Kevin told us, what about you? 542 00:35:59,952 --> 00:36:03,496 You haven't had the slightest bit of attraction to any girl at school? 543 00:36:03,497 --> 00:36:06,475 Don't you fuckin' say no. I know you did. 544 00:36:07,292 --> 00:36:09,460 Even if I did... 545 00:36:09,461 --> 00:36:12,672 it wouldn't be anything more than just a momentary thing. 546 00:36:12,673 --> 00:36:15,758 Very uninteresting. 547 00:36:15,759 --> 00:36:18,803 How about you, Jessica? How many chicks did you sleep with this year? 548 00:36:18,804 --> 00:36:20,739 Gee, wouldn't you like to know. 549 00:36:22,224 --> 00:36:23,784 Fuck yeah, I would. 550 00:36:25,561 --> 00:36:26,978 Come on, Ozzy. 551 00:36:26,979 --> 00:36:29,480 Yeah, man. Ball. Pool's yours. 552 00:36:29,481 --> 00:36:32,501 - Hey, Vic, you wanna play? - Yeah, sure. You wanna break? 553 00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:40,509 Where are the fuckin' females? 554 00:36:41,076 --> 00:36:45,305 Jim, can't you leave your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away. 555 00:36:45,664 --> 00:36:47,599 Dude, give him a break. 556 00:36:49,251 --> 00:36:50,835 Ozzy, go deep. 557 00:36:50,836 --> 00:36:53,522 - Yeah, bro. You playing? - No. 558 00:36:55,883 --> 00:36:58,384 No, keep going. Flank pattern. 559 00:36:58,385 --> 00:37:00,946 - What are you doin'? - Fishin'. 560 00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:09,997 Are you okay? 561 00:37:11,607 --> 00:37:15,460 - You okay? - I'm so sorry. Is everybody okay? 562 00:37:22,451 --> 00:37:23,927 Amazing. 563 00:37:26,705 --> 00:37:29,057 The Force is strong in that one. 564 00:37:30,250 --> 00:37:31,435 Whoa. 565 00:37:32,377 --> 00:37:37,173 The Sherminator detects serious heat at a distance of two meters. 566 00:37:37,174 --> 00:37:39,234 Preparing to deploy beer. 567 00:37:42,262 --> 00:37:45,890 Dude, let me give you a valuable piece of advice, okay? 568 00:37:45,891 --> 00:37:47,600 Drop the whole "Sherminator" thing. 569 00:37:47,601 --> 00:37:49,810 Please repeat previous statement. 570 00:37:49,811 --> 00:37:52,789 Look, I know your last name is Sherman, right? 571 00:37:52,814 --> 00:37:55,441 And that rhymes with The Terminator... 572 00:37:55,442 --> 00:37:57,944 which was a big hit movie ten years ago. 573 00:37:57,945 --> 00:38:00,881 But you can't tell me a girl's ever really gone for it. 574 00:38:01,657 --> 00:38:04,968 System overload. Hasta la vista, Jessica. 575 00:38:08,121 --> 00:38:09,473 Freak. 576 00:38:11,667 --> 00:38:14,627 Vic, hey, you guys are leaving? 577 00:38:14,628 --> 00:38:18,464 You know, we barely had a chance to hang out, you know, catch up. 578 00:38:18,465 --> 00:38:21,884 - What are you doing this weekend? - I can get together. 579 00:38:21,885 --> 00:38:24,220 - Cool. Let's hang out. - All right. 580 00:38:24,221 --> 00:38:26,907 - Bye, Kev. - See ya, Jess. 581 00:38:30,018 --> 00:38:32,895 No, no, that's all wrong. 582 00:38:32,896 --> 00:38:36,148 Thank you. Have a nice day. 583 00:38:36,149 --> 00:38:39,152 - So what does he mean, "meet up"? - You know, like hang out... 584 00:38:39,153 --> 00:38:40,778 grab lunch, whatever. 585 00:38:40,779 --> 00:38:44,490 I told you, we're just friends now. And he totally understands. 586 00:38:44,491 --> 00:38:48,202 - I'm sure he understands quite well. - He does. 587 00:38:48,203 --> 00:38:52,599 Oh, no, sir. These are all wrong for you. I mean, seriously. 588 00:38:53,834 --> 00:38:55,668 Sure. Well, we're friends. 589 00:38:55,669 --> 00:38:59,255 But it's not like I see her making plans with anyone else. 590 00:38:59,256 --> 00:39:02,985 I don't see her with a boyfriend. I think that puts me on deck. 591 00:39:04,011 --> 00:39:07,763 Hey, Vicky only slept with one guy since we went out. 592 00:39:07,764 --> 00:39:12,268 I mean, that like makes me 50% of her entire guy-related life. 593 00:39:12,269 --> 00:39:14,312 You dipshit. 594 00:39:14,313 --> 00:39:17,565 She didn't sleep with one guy. She slept with at least three. 595 00:39:17,566 --> 00:39:19,275 What? 596 00:39:19,276 --> 00:39:21,444 When a girl tells you how many guys she slept with... 597 00:39:21,445 --> 00:39:23,529 multiply it by three and that's the real number. 598 00:39:23,530 --> 00:39:26,633 Didn't you fuckers learn anything at college? 599 00:39:29,244 --> 00:39:32,413 He did not sleep with three girls, much like Sly and the Family Stone... 600 00:39:32,414 --> 00:39:34,874 aren't gonna dance in here and gang-bang me... 601 00:39:34,875 --> 00:39:37,502 between the afros and the bell-bottoms, okay? 602 00:39:37,503 --> 00:39:38,961 It's not gonna happen. 603 00:39:38,962 --> 00:39:42,899 - Kevin did not sleep with three girls. - Why would he lie to me? 604 00:39:43,842 --> 00:39:45,968 It's not a lie. It's an adjustment. The rule of three. 605 00:39:45,969 --> 00:39:48,012 - The rule of what? - Three. 606 00:39:48,013 --> 00:39:51,724 If a guy tells you how many girls he's been with, it's not even close to that. 607 00:39:51,725 --> 00:39:55,061 Take that number and divide it by three. Then you get the real total. 608 00:39:55,062 --> 00:39:59,106 So, if Kevin's saying it's been three girls, it's more like one, or none. 609 00:39:59,107 --> 00:40:01,734 - None? - Rule of three. 610 00:40:01,735 --> 00:40:04,212 It's an exact science, consistent as gravity. 611 00:40:05,531 --> 00:40:07,532 Ozzy, I'm happy for you. 612 00:40:07,533 --> 00:40:10,201 At least you've seen a nice bod while Heather's off suckin' dick. 613 00:40:10,202 --> 00:40:12,286 Keep your fantasies to yourself. 614 00:40:12,287 --> 00:40:14,789 Dude, use your fuckin' brain. 615 00:40:14,790 --> 00:40:18,334 "I'm the American college chick. La, la, la. 616 00:40:18,335 --> 00:40:20,896 Your European cultural shit is so charming. 617 00:40:21,588 --> 00:40:24,632 Hot Spanish guy. Love your accent. 618 00:40:24,633 --> 00:40:26,634 Love your ding-dong." 619 00:40:26,635 --> 00:40:30,721 I'm tellin' you, right now there is a dick in your girlfriend's mouth. 620 00:40:30,722 --> 00:40:33,992 - Knock it off. - What'd I say? 621 00:40:52,828 --> 00:40:54,513 Oh, my God! 622 00:40:57,291 --> 00:40:59,309 Guys, check it out. 623 00:40:59,835 --> 00:41:02,336 Lesbians. 624 00:41:02,337 --> 00:41:03,772 Lesbians live here. 625 00:41:04,256 --> 00:41:06,841 You know, Mr Homophobic Wizard... 626 00:41:06,842 --> 00:41:11,095 that it is possible for women to hold hands and not be gay. 627 00:41:11,096 --> 00:41:12,763 Friends can hold hands. 628 00:41:12,764 --> 00:41:15,975 Hey, Finch, I don't wanna hear about you and your boyfriends. 629 00:41:15,976 --> 00:41:19,270 - Go jerk off. - Unnecessary. 630 00:41:19,271 --> 00:41:21,814 Tantra teaches you to hold an orgasm over time... 631 00:41:21,815 --> 00:41:24,358 in anticipation of an ultimate moment... 632 00:41:24,359 --> 00:41:26,861 to release it upon the world. 633 00:41:26,862 --> 00:41:29,197 I'm filling up to the brim. 634 00:41:29,198 --> 00:41:33,719 That's fucking disgusting! I'm gonna throw up. 635 00:41:41,210 --> 00:41:43,061 Hey, Heather. You're in! 636 00:41:44,338 --> 00:41:45,963 How's the studying going? 637 00:41:45,964 --> 00:41:48,007 I'd hardly call it studying. 638 00:41:48,008 --> 00:41:50,009 I've been going to the Picasso museum... 639 00:41:50,010 --> 00:41:52,470 hanging out at Sagrada Familia... 640 00:41:52,471 --> 00:41:54,972 going with Pierre to the Parc Guell. 641 00:41:54,973 --> 00:41:57,458 - Who's Pierre? - One of the guys in the program. 642 00:41:57,459 --> 00:42:00,678 He's got a girlfriend back in France, so we've kind of got something in common. 643 00:42:00,679 --> 00:42:02,230 That sounds cool. 644 00:42:02,231 --> 00:42:06,567 Yeah, I've overheard them on the phone at night. 645 00:42:06,568 --> 00:42:10,404 And, well, it made me think. 646 00:42:10,405 --> 00:42:14,384 Hey, Oz, I'm reaching under my shirt and I'm rubbing myself. 647 00:42:16,036 --> 00:42:19,413 Oz, come on. It's phone sex. Help me out here. 648 00:42:19,414 --> 00:42:20,974 Okay. 649 00:42:23,794 --> 00:42:26,855 I'm going over to my bed. 650 00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,258 And I'm lying down. 651 00:42:30,259 --> 00:42:32,802 And I'm slowly... 652 00:42:32,803 --> 00:42:36,264 reaching downstairs. 653 00:42:36,265 --> 00:42:38,116 Grab it. Tell me how big it is. 654 00:42:39,393 --> 00:42:42,687 Listen, Heather, I'm feeling kind of awkward. 655 00:42:42,688 --> 00:42:46,524 If we can't be with each other, then we have to learn to be more vocal. 656 00:42:46,525 --> 00:42:49,026 - Right? - Right. Okay. 657 00:42:49,027 --> 00:42:53,781 Okay, here we go. I'm reaching in my pants now. 658 00:42:53,782 --> 00:42:55,575 And I'm rubbing it for you, Heather. 659 00:42:55,576 --> 00:42:58,452 And it feels so good. 660 00:42:58,453 --> 00:43:00,830 - Yeah, me too. - Oh, yeah. 661 00:43:00,831 --> 00:43:02,748 I got... 662 00:43:02,749 --> 00:43:04,059 Call waiting. 663 00:43:05,043 --> 00:43:06,853 Shit. Hello? 664 00:43:09,047 --> 00:43:10,607 Wrong number. 665 00:43:11,633 --> 00:43:13,652 Hey. Hello. Wrong number. 666 00:43:15,929 --> 00:43:19,223 All right, look, man. I got my hand on my dick right now, okay... 667 00:43:19,224 --> 00:43:21,827 and I'm trying to have sex with my girlfriend over the phone. 668 00:43:22,769 --> 00:43:24,830 Good for you, man. 669 00:43:29,234 --> 00:43:31,861 Sorry about that. Where were we? 670 00:43:31,862 --> 00:43:34,280 I think you were reaching for something. 671 00:43:34,281 --> 00:43:36,449 Oh, yeah. 672 00:43:36,450 --> 00:43:41,513 Oh, yeah, Heather. I'm rubbing it and it feels so good. 673 00:43:42,372 --> 00:43:46,250 Hey, Oz, I'm touching myself. What else do you want me to do? 674 00:43:46,251 --> 00:43:48,753 Heather, baby. 675 00:43:48,754 --> 00:43:51,631 Why don't you tell me my dick is as big as Stifler's. 676 00:43:51,632 --> 00:43:52,798 Stifler, get off! 677 00:43:52,799 --> 00:43:56,052 I am getting off just listening to the two of you guys. 678 00:43:56,053 --> 00:43:58,930 - Keep going. - We should try this another time. 679 00:43:58,931 --> 00:44:01,933 Yeah, all right. Bye. I love you. 680 00:44:01,934 --> 00:44:05,269 - I love you. - Come on you, guys. I was almost there! 681 00:44:05,270 --> 00:44:08,373 - Nice talking with you, Steven. - Stifler, man! 682 00:44:09,775 --> 00:44:11,376 Repressed. 683 00:44:21,036 --> 00:44:22,662 Check it out. 684 00:44:22,663 --> 00:44:25,098 Potential lesbians leaving the building. 685 00:44:33,382 --> 00:44:35,383 All right. Now is my chance. 686 00:44:35,384 --> 00:44:38,094 I need confirmation. 687 00:44:38,095 --> 00:44:40,263 Stifler. Hey, man, what are you doing? 688 00:44:40,264 --> 00:44:42,056 Go get him. 689 00:44:42,057 --> 00:44:43,617 You ass. Stifler, get out. 690 00:44:50,149 --> 00:44:53,835 Shit, dude! I found a dildo! 691 00:44:54,820 --> 00:44:57,047 Big blue rubber dicks for everyone! 692 00:44:58,457 --> 00:45:00,533 - The people demand rubber dicks! - Finch, help. 693 00:45:00,534 --> 00:45:03,095 Dildo, dildo, dildo! 694 00:45:04,913 --> 00:45:08,100 - What are you doing? - Looking for more lesbian artifacts. 695 00:45:09,376 --> 00:45:11,478 - Where'd you get this? - Finch's ass. 696 00:45:12,671 --> 00:45:14,690 Shit! Guys, they're back. 697 00:45:17,217 --> 00:45:18,318 Stall 'em! 698 00:45:19,845 --> 00:45:21,262 Come on. Come on! 699 00:45:21,263 --> 00:45:24,348 - Come on. Come on. - This is awesome! 700 00:45:24,349 --> 00:45:26,684 Danielle, Amber, hi. 701 00:45:26,685 --> 00:45:29,788 Just needed the paper, huh? 702 00:45:32,149 --> 00:45:35,860 - Which room? - I can't remember. I was too excited. 703 00:45:35,861 --> 00:45:38,488 - I'm in a lesbian stronghold. - Was it in here? 704 00:45:38,489 --> 00:45:41,908 - Why you asking me so many questions? - Was it in here? 705 00:45:41,909 --> 00:45:44,702 - Maybe. - Was it or was it not here? 706 00:45:44,703 --> 00:45:47,639 Happy painting, boys. 707 00:45:48,999 --> 00:45:51,125 You gotta get out of there. They're inside. 708 00:45:51,126 --> 00:45:52,477 Oh, shit, balls! 709 00:45:57,799 --> 00:46:01,236 - Very original, Steven. - Don't call me Steven. 710 00:46:14,691 --> 00:46:17,068 I can wear that little leopard bikini of mine. 711 00:46:17,069 --> 00:46:19,821 I love that one. It's so cute on you. 712 00:46:19,822 --> 00:46:21,465 Help me zip, please. 713 00:46:24,076 --> 00:46:28,287 - Did I show you my cute pink shoes? - Does it match your pink bikini? 714 00:46:28,288 --> 00:46:30,349 They're getting naked. 715 00:46:34,127 --> 00:46:35,771 - Cute. - Thank you. 716 00:46:43,470 --> 00:46:45,429 Shit. She's de-pantsing. 717 00:46:45,430 --> 00:46:47,306 Oh, man. 718 00:46:47,307 --> 00:46:51,519 Wait. They can't hear us inside? We won't cross over their radio? 719 00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:54,772 No, man. These work on a CB frequency. 720 00:46:54,773 --> 00:46:56,708 This girl is so hot. 721 00:47:01,613 --> 00:47:04,657 Two possible lesbians in their bras and panties. 722 00:47:04,658 --> 00:47:05,884 Lesbians? 723 00:47:07,286 --> 00:47:09,453 Did you say lesbians? 724 00:47:09,454 --> 00:47:10,973 Hot lesbians! 725 00:47:14,084 --> 00:47:16,520 - Don't touch me. - I'm not. 726 00:47:25,971 --> 00:47:28,615 That better not have been what I thought it was. 727 00:47:31,310 --> 00:47:33,436 This is not gonna fit. Look at you and look at me. 728 00:47:33,437 --> 00:47:36,790 - Too big. - I'll get you the blue stringy number. 729 00:47:39,485 --> 00:47:41,461 Johnny West is missing. 730 00:47:42,946 --> 00:47:45,173 Maybe you kicked it under the bed. 731 00:47:47,159 --> 00:47:48,576 Okay, let me look. 732 00:47:48,577 --> 00:47:51,496 Wait. Didn't you have it when we were downstairs? 733 00:47:51,497 --> 00:47:53,015 Maybe. 734 00:47:56,752 --> 00:47:59,938 Guys, get the hell out of there right now. 735 00:48:01,924 --> 00:48:02,924 Come on! 736 00:48:02,925 --> 00:48:05,444 - It's clear! - Go, go, go! 737 00:48:10,974 --> 00:48:12,409 They're coming back. 738 00:48:18,065 --> 00:48:21,400 I'm just so glad I found him. He's my favourite collectible. 739 00:48:21,401 --> 00:48:22,961 I know. 740 00:48:25,405 --> 00:48:28,199 Guys, we got nothin' to worry about. 741 00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:31,261 I just remembered, I got that dildo from the other bedroom. 742 00:48:34,957 --> 00:48:37,959 Holy shit! There's a dildo in my drawer. 743 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:39,502 Oh, my God! 744 00:48:39,503 --> 00:48:41,730 You could have asked me if you wanted to borrow it. 745 00:48:42,798 --> 00:48:44,483 Stop it. 746 00:48:46,718 --> 00:48:50,030 - What the hell was that? - I don't know. Call 911. 747 00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,268 - No 911. - Don't call the police. 748 00:48:55,269 --> 00:48:59,230 - My God, it's the painting kids. - I'm still calling the cops. 749 00:48:59,231 --> 00:49:01,274 Okay, no, no, no. This isn't right. 750 00:49:01,275 --> 00:49:04,610 - Look. Stifler did break in here. - You dick! 751 00:49:04,611 --> 00:49:07,297 But we just followed him in to get him out. 752 00:49:08,824 --> 00:49:11,593 I just wanted proof that you chicks are really lesbians. 753 00:49:16,206 --> 00:49:19,250 You wanna mess with 'em? 754 00:49:19,251 --> 00:49:21,252 Yeah, it'll be fun. 755 00:49:21,253 --> 00:49:23,480 Let's do it. 756 00:49:24,423 --> 00:49:26,942 You guys like that? 757 00:49:34,766 --> 00:49:37,619 Ozzy, stand by for confirmation. 758 00:49:39,146 --> 00:49:41,873 That's a big 10-4 on the confirmation. 759 00:49:43,901 --> 00:49:47,045 Sounds like your little friends outside wanna play too. 760 00:49:50,407 --> 00:49:52,426 You won't be needing this. 761 00:49:54,161 --> 00:49:56,221 Who wants me to touch Amber? 762 00:49:57,331 --> 00:49:58,956 I do, I do. 763 00:49:58,957 --> 00:50:01,667 - Who the hell is that? - Who's this? 764 00:50:01,668 --> 00:50:05,254 This is John... Smith. 765 00:50:05,255 --> 00:50:09,467 I'm turning off my radio now. 766 00:50:09,468 --> 00:50:13,804 Okay. Where should I touch Amber? 767 00:50:13,805 --> 00:50:16,283 Ass, baby. Feel that ass! 768 00:50:21,146 --> 00:50:22,205 That's nice. 769 00:50:25,818 --> 00:50:29,254 I know. You feel his ass first. 770 00:50:30,531 --> 00:50:31,531 Excuse me? 771 00:50:31,532 --> 00:50:34,450 Yeah, I like that. That's good. 772 00:50:34,451 --> 00:50:37,787 I got some painting I should... 773 00:50:37,788 --> 00:50:40,748 Jim, hold on. I can handle it. 774 00:50:40,749 --> 00:50:43,125 - What? - I'm comfortable with my sexuality. 775 00:50:43,126 --> 00:50:45,670 And I would love to see that show. 776 00:50:45,671 --> 00:50:47,940 Bravo! 777 00:50:51,301 --> 00:50:54,178 One finger on the cheek. 778 00:50:54,179 --> 00:50:56,347 We want... 779 00:50:56,348 --> 00:50:59,159 palm grasping. 780 00:51:00,143 --> 00:51:02,228 That's too much. No, no, no. 781 00:51:02,229 --> 00:51:04,355 You don't touch, we don't touch. 782 00:51:04,356 --> 00:51:07,900 - Squeeze his ass, son. You'll like it. - Come on, boys. 783 00:51:07,901 --> 00:51:11,630 - Jesus Christ. - Oh, shit. 784 00:51:13,949 --> 00:51:16,051 I'm touching his ass. I'm touching his ass. 785 00:51:17,536 --> 00:51:19,662 Red Leader, what's your position? 786 00:51:19,663 --> 00:51:22,665 I'm touching his ass. I'm touching his ass. 787 00:51:22,666 --> 00:51:23,684 Mommy! 788 00:51:24,835 --> 00:51:26,043 You can go. 789 00:51:26,044 --> 00:51:28,045 That really wasn't bad. 790 00:51:28,046 --> 00:51:30,649 - I wanna go home. - That's too bad. 791 00:51:32,384 --> 00:51:35,344 Never mind. I'm staying. 792 00:51:35,345 --> 00:51:37,906 Danielle is feeling my breasts. 793 00:51:40,392 --> 00:51:42,435 No way, dude! 794 00:51:42,436 --> 00:51:44,228 Her breasts are so luscious. 795 00:51:44,229 --> 00:51:46,814 What a wonderful Christmas gift you bought the boys. 796 00:51:46,815 --> 00:51:49,376 My nipples are so hard. 797 00:51:50,110 --> 00:51:52,212 I think I can fix these. 798 00:51:58,619 --> 00:52:00,345 Sweet Jesus. 799 00:52:02,372 --> 00:52:03,557 Your turn. 800 00:52:04,666 --> 00:52:06,209 Oh, yeah! 801 00:52:06,210 --> 00:52:07,853 No, no, no. 802 00:52:09,922 --> 00:52:11,064 Him. 803 00:52:15,302 --> 00:52:16,594 Kiss. 804 00:52:16,595 --> 00:52:19,096 Dude, no. 805 00:52:19,097 --> 00:52:22,600 - Wait. What? - You want more? 806 00:52:22,601 --> 00:52:25,186 We want more. Go get him, tiger. 807 00:52:25,187 --> 00:52:28,081 - You're gonna love it. - Do it for us. 808 00:52:31,109 --> 00:52:33,253 Okay, dude. 809 00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:37,341 One, two... 810 00:52:38,617 --> 00:52:40,636 three. 811 00:52:41,637 --> 00:52:43,788 - That doesn't even count. - That totally counted. 812 00:52:43,789 --> 00:52:46,391 - That's how you kiss your mother. - Don't you say anything! 813 00:52:46,542 --> 00:52:49,627 Make it real. You do that... 814 00:52:49,628 --> 00:52:51,963 we'll do anything you want. 815 00:52:51,964 --> 00:52:53,422 Anything? 816 00:52:53,423 --> 00:52:54,942 Anything. 817 00:52:58,011 --> 00:53:00,888 - You better like it. - Promise. 818 00:53:00,889 --> 00:53:02,908 I wouldn't lie. 819 00:53:09,690 --> 00:53:12,358 That is what I'm talking about. 820 00:53:12,359 --> 00:53:15,337 Kev, you can look. 821 00:53:19,241 --> 00:53:21,200 That's it. 822 00:53:21,201 --> 00:53:23,095 Where's your tongue? 823 00:53:28,625 --> 00:53:30,209 Good boys. 824 00:53:30,210 --> 00:53:33,087 - Very good. - Dude, you're a fucking lousy kisser. 825 00:53:33,088 --> 00:53:35,131 What? I wasn't trying! 826 00:53:35,132 --> 00:53:37,091 That's not fair! 827 00:53:37,092 --> 00:53:39,177 I wasn't trying there! 828 00:53:39,178 --> 00:53:40,988 No judgment. 829 00:53:41,847 --> 00:53:43,848 Wait a second. You were trying? 830 00:53:43,849 --> 00:53:46,410 - Fuck no! - You were trying! 831 00:53:47,644 --> 00:53:51,314 - I kissed Jim! - Silence! 832 00:53:51,315 --> 00:53:53,524 - Ladies. - Yes? 833 00:53:53,525 --> 00:53:55,711 As you were. 834 00:53:57,404 --> 00:53:59,464 - Here we go. - Let's do it. 835 00:54:13,712 --> 00:54:17,256 Them girls sound like the two transvestites we picked up in Biloxi. 836 00:54:17,257 --> 00:54:19,901 - Honey, come on. Food's ready. - I'm not hungry! 837 00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:32,205 I can't believe this. Okay, just do it. 838 00:54:34,983 --> 00:54:37,777 - Oh, God. - It was worth it. 839 00:54:37,778 --> 00:54:39,338 Hello. 840 00:54:56,004 --> 00:54:58,714 Okay, I think that's enough now. 841 00:54:58,715 --> 00:55:02,319 - I want more. - Hell, yeah. I want more too, baby. 842 00:55:04,096 --> 00:55:08,367 We're gonna get more physical as soon as we get some... 843 00:55:09,685 --> 00:55:12,204 - Hand jobs. - Okay! 844 00:55:13,981 --> 00:55:15,415 Hand jobs. 845 00:55:17,234 --> 00:55:20,629 You do him. We love to watch. 846 00:55:21,780 --> 00:55:22,947 I'm sorry? 847 00:55:22,948 --> 00:55:25,217 - You go. - We go. 848 00:55:29,913 --> 00:55:31,932 Don't be a wimp. 849 00:55:35,127 --> 00:55:37,670 Okay. It's okay. 850 00:55:37,671 --> 00:55:39,648 I know what I have to do. 851 00:55:40,257 --> 00:55:42,734 I need to keep this party goin'. 852 00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:46,071 I'm takin' one for the team. 853 00:55:47,055 --> 00:55:48,556 Mother of God! 854 00:55:48,557 --> 00:55:50,224 Come on, you pussies! We had 'em! 855 00:55:50,225 --> 00:55:52,977 - I am not touching that. - Put that thing away, Stifler. 856 00:55:52,978 --> 00:55:56,314 Why can't you guys be team players, huh? 857 00:55:56,315 --> 00:55:58,333 I was the one doin' all the sacrificing'. 858 00:56:02,654 --> 00:56:06,425 And now for our devoted listeners, back to the show. 859 00:56:08,368 --> 00:56:10,762 Let me try that dildo. 860 00:56:13,207 --> 00:56:15,041 Now, wait just a minute. 861 00:56:15,042 --> 00:56:18,044 Stifler wanted to give you two hand jobs? 862 00:56:18,045 --> 00:56:21,964 No. Stifler wanted one from us. 863 00:56:21,965 --> 00:56:23,966 What? Bullshit. 864 00:56:23,967 --> 00:56:25,843 He did. And it was horrible. 865 00:56:25,844 --> 00:56:27,637 Very horrible. 866 00:56:27,638 --> 00:56:30,181 You guys, you wanna play some "asshole"? 867 00:56:30,182 --> 00:56:32,934 Just watching the game, Kev. 868 00:56:32,935 --> 00:56:35,102 I just wanna do something together. 869 00:56:35,103 --> 00:56:39,482 We just did something together. Very together. 870 00:56:39,483 --> 00:56:42,527 Ho, ho, ho. Stifler Claus is here. 871 00:56:42,528 --> 00:56:45,488 Now, just so there's no confusion... 872 00:56:45,489 --> 00:56:49,009 Santa Porn has just brought us some heterosexual entertainment. 873 00:56:50,619 --> 00:56:51,637 Here you go. 874 00:56:52,704 --> 00:56:54,622 All right. Here. 875 00:56:54,623 --> 00:56:57,458 And the Stifmeister's provided us some complimentary lubricant. 876 00:56:57,459 --> 00:56:59,502 Whack away, Jim. 877 00:56:59,503 --> 00:57:01,379 Does this stuff really make a difference? 878 00:57:01,380 --> 00:57:04,274 - Oh, yeah! - Really? 879 00:57:09,888 --> 00:57:12,390 Stifmeister's palace of love... 880 00:57:12,391 --> 00:57:14,076 straight love. 881 00:57:15,144 --> 00:57:18,104 Oh, hey. Yeah, I'm fine. 882 00:57:18,105 --> 00:57:19,897 - How about you? - That's Stifler's mom. 883 00:57:19,898 --> 00:57:21,199 Silence. 884 00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:23,884 I didn't really think you were gonna be in Michigan this summer. 885 00:57:23,885 --> 00:57:25,570 Yeah, you're more than welcome to be here. 886 00:57:25,571 --> 00:57:29,073 Okay, stop by in a couple of weeks. We're having a big party. 887 00:57:29,074 --> 00:57:30,783 Okay, bye. 888 00:57:30,784 --> 00:57:32,261 Stifler, was that... 889 00:57:35,706 --> 00:57:37,391 She's coming. 890 00:57:42,004 --> 00:57:44,189 Stifler's mom is coming here. 891 00:57:47,176 --> 00:57:49,319 Efforts must be doubled. 892 00:57:50,596 --> 00:57:52,698 "Efforts must be doubled." 893 00:57:54,975 --> 00:57:56,410 Absolutely. 894 00:58:03,775 --> 00:58:05,776 Jenny, where'd you put my clarinet? 895 00:58:05,777 --> 00:58:08,362 - I think I shoved it in your box. - Thanks. 896 00:58:08,363 --> 00:58:12,509 Bad man. I'm a bad, bad man. 897 00:58:16,246 --> 00:58:18,331 Jim, what are you doing here? 898 00:58:18,332 --> 00:58:20,875 Well, I thought you had said... 899 00:58:20,876 --> 00:58:23,878 You can't just stand out here. 900 00:58:23,879 --> 00:58:27,840 Look, I need your help. 901 00:58:27,841 --> 00:58:32,053 Nadia's coming back and I don't... 902 00:58:32,054 --> 00:58:34,222 I don't wanna be this awkward... 903 00:58:34,223 --> 00:58:37,391 bumbling, nervous guy with her. 904 00:58:37,392 --> 00:58:39,060 I don't wanna seem like a dork. 905 00:58:39,061 --> 00:58:41,354 Well, I know that feeling. 906 00:58:41,355 --> 00:58:43,564 Spend your life playing in the band... 907 00:58:43,565 --> 00:58:47,693 it doesn't exactly give you the ultra-cool hipster image. 908 00:58:47,694 --> 00:58:51,465 - I think you're pretty cool. - Seriously? 909 00:58:55,744 --> 00:58:59,205 Michele, why did you ditch me after prom? 910 00:58:59,206 --> 00:59:03,292 I didn't ditch you. I just... 911 00:59:03,293 --> 00:59:04,853 Our date was over. 912 00:59:05,629 --> 00:59:07,964 I mean, did you want some... 913 00:59:07,965 --> 00:59:10,651 funky, weird, next-morning goodbye? 914 00:59:12,344 --> 00:59:16,055 It's not like I wanted you to pretend you were in love with me or something. 915 00:59:16,056 --> 00:59:18,015 Why would I pretend that? 916 00:59:18,016 --> 00:59:19,826 Guys do that. 917 00:59:21,061 --> 00:59:24,790 Yeah, well, I'm not like other guys. 918 00:59:25,732 --> 00:59:27,525 I know. 919 00:59:27,526 --> 00:59:30,736 Okay, I'm gonna help you. 920 00:59:30,737 --> 00:59:32,738 Really? 921 00:59:32,739 --> 00:59:35,533 Yeah, I feel bad for saying that you sucked... 922 00:59:35,534 --> 00:59:38,679 even though you kind of did. 923 00:59:43,333 --> 00:59:45,352 Let's just get started. 924 00:59:46,336 --> 00:59:48,921 - Now, I'm a hot girl. - Right. 925 00:59:48,922 --> 00:59:51,924 - Okay, what do you wanna do? - I wanna feel your boobs. 926 00:59:51,925 --> 00:59:54,051 No, you dingbat. 927 00:59:54,052 --> 00:59:56,530 You don't just go groping away. 928 00:59:56,972 --> 01:00:00,284 You gotta preheat the oven before you stick in the turkey. 929 01:00:03,729 --> 01:00:05,372 Kiss me, here. 930 01:00:11,487 --> 01:00:13,613 Good. Okay, now... 931 01:00:13,614 --> 01:00:15,257 the collarbone... kiss. 932 01:00:19,912 --> 01:00:22,580 Good, Jim. 933 01:00:22,581 --> 01:00:24,165 You're making me wet. 934 01:00:24,166 --> 01:00:25,625 Holy shit. Really? 935 01:00:25,626 --> 01:00:27,894 No, I was just saying that so you could practice. 936 01:00:29,630 --> 01:00:31,231 Of course. 937 01:00:51,735 --> 01:00:56,364 Does direction matter, like clockwise, counter clockwise? 938 01:00:56,365 --> 01:00:58,908 Okay, Jim, this is what I'm talking about. 939 01:00:58,909 --> 01:01:03,305 Your main problem is you're so uptight. 940 01:01:04,414 --> 01:01:07,959 Do I seem uptight about my sexual stuff? No. 941 01:01:07,960 --> 01:01:11,254 The biggest pointer I could give you is... 942 01:01:11,255 --> 01:01:15,883 you have to feel comfortable in any situation. 943 01:01:15,884 --> 01:01:17,361 Stand up. 944 01:01:18,178 --> 01:01:19,196 Stand up. 945 01:01:20,472 --> 01:01:24,267 - Now, this is a fucked-up situation. - What happened to preheating? 946 01:01:24,268 --> 01:01:26,978 - We're skipping a few chapters. - Oh, okay. 947 01:01:26,979 --> 01:01:30,832 This is good. This is good. Obviously. 948 01:01:32,234 --> 01:01:35,695 - Gilligan's island, Mr Howell. - What? 949 01:01:35,696 --> 01:01:39,657 You've got to control yourself and think of something nonsexual. 950 01:01:39,658 --> 01:01:43,286 I haven't even touched you yet, and you're turning into the Sears Tower. 951 01:01:43,287 --> 01:01:46,247 I'm sorry. Yeah, nonsexual. 952 01:01:46,248 --> 01:01:48,958 Right, right. Okay. 953 01:01:48,959 --> 01:01:51,895 - Chairs. - Good. 954 01:01:54,631 --> 01:01:55,899 Mastodons. 955 01:01:58,468 --> 01:02:00,821 Cleaning my bathroom. 956 01:02:01,889 --> 01:02:04,032 Dung beetles. 957 01:02:04,433 --> 01:02:06,601 Okay. Now, don't freak out. 958 01:02:06,602 --> 01:02:09,729 I'm gonna do something to push your threshold. 959 01:02:09,730 --> 01:02:11,665 Oh, that's cold! What are you doing? 960 01:02:12,232 --> 01:02:15,460 I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren't instruments fun? 961 01:02:15,819 --> 01:02:19,006 Okay, I think you've just crossed my threshold. 962 01:02:28,582 --> 01:02:32,436 Call me in two weeks. I'll be home then. We can finish lessons. 963 01:02:38,842 --> 01:02:41,028 Pointer... less tongue. 964 01:02:59,571 --> 01:03:02,824 - What is it? A guest book? - Yeah, and look at this entry. 965 01:03:02,825 --> 01:03:05,618 "Best thing was the blow-out at Tom Myers' place. 966 01:03:05,619 --> 01:03:08,120 - There he is. - A night not soon to be forgotten. 967 01:03:08,121 --> 01:03:10,832 August '93." It's your brother, man. Look. 968 01:03:10,833 --> 01:03:12,792 Yeah, his cottage was right down on the beach. 969 01:03:12,793 --> 01:03:16,462 Guys, this is what our party's gotta be. 970 01:03:16,463 --> 01:03:19,298 - Something we'll always remember. - Yes, definitely. 971 01:03:19,299 --> 01:03:20,984 Absolutely. 972 01:03:22,469 --> 01:03:25,238 - You go fish. - Finch, we're playing gin. 973 01:03:29,143 --> 01:03:30,244 Gin. 974 01:04:21,653 --> 01:04:23,171 What the fuck? 975 01:05:02,778 --> 01:05:03,837 "Dear Jim. 976 01:05:05,823 --> 01:05:09,659 Chicago is beautiful, but it would be better if you were here. 977 01:05:09,660 --> 01:05:12,638 I'm counting the days. Love, Nadia." 978 01:05:15,457 --> 01:05:18,060 Well, I wish you were here, Nadia. 979 01:05:46,071 --> 01:05:49,716 - Have you been dirty? - Oh, yes, baby. I've been dirty. 980 01:05:51,702 --> 01:05:53,703 Do you want me to clean you? 981 01:05:53,704 --> 01:05:57,498 "Apply a few drops to achieve desired lubrication." 982 01:05:57,499 --> 01:05:59,309 All right. 983 01:06:03,338 --> 01:06:06,966 I that a loofah, or are you just glad to see me? 984 01:06:06,967 --> 01:06:08,986 What the hell. 985 01:06:27,696 --> 01:06:29,590 Shit. 986 01:06:33,660 --> 01:06:36,078 God! 987 01:06:36,079 --> 01:06:38,265 I been missin' out. 988 01:06:56,517 --> 01:06:58,452 Oh, shit! 989 01:07:04,483 --> 01:07:05,751 Shit! 990 01:07:11,865 --> 01:07:14,700 - Everybody okay? - I'm fine. 991 01:07:14,701 --> 01:07:16,494 I'm fine. Everything's fine. 992 01:07:16,495 --> 01:07:19,372 Shut the fuck up or I'll break down this door and pummel your ass! 993 01:07:19,373 --> 01:07:23,292 No, don't come in here. I'm fine. I just fell out of the bed. 994 01:07:23,293 --> 01:07:25,294 - You sure? - Okay, good night, then. 995 01:07:25,295 --> 01:07:27,356 - 'Night. - We'll see you in the morning. 996 01:07:41,270 --> 01:07:42,704 Oh, shit! 997 01:08:07,796 --> 01:08:10,065 - Poison control. - Hello? 998 01:08:14,595 --> 01:08:16,888 Yeah, I kind of... 999 01:08:16,889 --> 01:08:18,806 Super Glued myself... 1000 01:08:18,807 --> 01:08:21,702 to myself. 1001 01:08:22,102 --> 01:08:23,954 No, no! 1002 01:08:24,646 --> 01:08:26,689 Don't send an ambulance. 1003 01:08:26,690 --> 01:08:30,877 Look, is there anything, you know, around the house? 1004 01:08:34,490 --> 01:08:36,466 Paint thinner. 1005 01:09:32,506 --> 01:09:33,899 Shit. 1006 01:09:40,347 --> 01:09:43,224 Don't move! Stay where you are! 1007 01:09:43,225 --> 01:09:45,768 Hands where we can see 'em! 1008 01:09:45,769 --> 01:09:48,455 Both hands! Get the other hand up, God damn it! 1009 01:09:49,898 --> 01:09:52,400 I can't! I can't! I'm glued! 1010 01:09:52,401 --> 01:09:54,461 I'm glued! 1011 01:09:54,945 --> 01:09:56,529 Sorry. 1012 01:09:56,530 --> 01:09:59,532 Relax your hands. 1013 01:09:59,533 --> 01:10:02,535 I'll take it from here, okay? 1014 01:10:02,536 --> 01:10:04,579 Don't worry, Jimbo. You're gonna be fine, buddy. 1015 01:10:04,580 --> 01:10:07,307 Jim, this happens to the best of us. 1016 01:10:12,296 --> 01:10:15,214 Left foot first. Easy does it. Good. 1017 01:10:15,215 --> 01:10:18,986 - Watch your head. - All right. Take a seat. 1018 01:10:20,846 --> 01:10:23,306 Excuse me, sir. Are you a family member? 1019 01:10:23,307 --> 01:10:25,933 Fuck, no! This is just too good to miss! 1020 01:10:25,934 --> 01:10:28,912 Okay, sir, you're just gonna have to wait here. All right? 1021 01:10:36,111 --> 01:10:38,380 This summer's turned out to be great. 1022 01:10:53,378 --> 01:10:57,340 Mucilage is dangerous territory... 1023 01:10:57,341 --> 01:11:02,011 and I would think any adhesive product... 1024 01:11:02,012 --> 01:11:05,073 would have a warning right on the tube. 1025 01:11:06,141 --> 01:11:10,311 I thought it was a lubricant. 1026 01:11:10,312 --> 01:11:13,081 I was trying to use lubricant. 1027 01:11:19,446 --> 01:11:22,883 Son, couldn't you have left that disgusting thing at home? 1028 01:11:24,243 --> 01:11:26,285 Excuse me? 1029 01:11:26,286 --> 01:11:29,580 Well, that kind of material is offensive to me. 1030 01:11:29,581 --> 01:11:33,101 Oh, well, we're sorry. 1031 01:11:34,169 --> 01:11:37,213 But, you see, my son couldn't leave it at home... 1032 01:11:37,214 --> 01:11:40,550 because he's having a bit of a medical emergency. 1033 01:11:40,551 --> 01:11:41,551 Thanks, Dad. 1034 01:11:41,552 --> 01:11:44,971 Your opinion of his taste in video rentals, I'm afraid... 1035 01:11:44,972 --> 01:11:47,074 is not a priority, lady. 1036 01:11:48,559 --> 01:11:51,328 It's at the bottom of the totem pole. 1037 01:11:53,856 --> 01:11:55,857 Thank you. Okay? 1038 01:11:55,858 --> 01:11:57,900 My son... 1039 01:11:57,901 --> 01:11:59,986 is sitting here right now... 1040 01:11:59,987 --> 01:12:02,798 with his hand glued to his penis! 1041 01:12:04,158 --> 01:12:06,450 But that doesn't mean anything to you, does it? 1042 01:12:06,451 --> 01:12:08,828 Because you don't have a penis! 1043 01:12:08,829 --> 01:12:10,830 - Or maybe you do! - Dad! 1044 01:12:10,831 --> 01:12:13,350 Sorry. I'm sorry. 1045 01:12:13,375 --> 01:12:17,688 You know, it just bugs me when people speak before they think. 1046 01:12:18,630 --> 01:12:21,275 You know, they speak. 1047 01:12:26,930 --> 01:12:29,283 - How you doin', son? - I've been better. 1048 01:12:32,478 --> 01:12:35,146 Boy, that doesn't look too bad, Jim. 1049 01:12:35,147 --> 01:12:37,356 Good job, Doctor. 1050 01:12:37,357 --> 01:12:40,651 The swelling should subside in about eight or nine days. 1051 01:12:40,652 --> 01:12:42,379 Eight or nine... 1052 01:12:43,780 --> 01:12:46,717 Beach party's in a week. Nadia's coming. 1053 01:12:50,621 --> 01:12:54,373 Doctor, my son has a party in seven days... 1054 01:12:54,374 --> 01:12:56,501 and there's a young lady coming... 1055 01:12:56,502 --> 01:12:58,770 that he's been waiting to... 1056 01:13:00,506 --> 01:13:02,882 he's been waiting to get with. 1057 01:13:02,883 --> 01:13:06,427 I'd tell your son to keep his pants on during that party. 1058 01:13:06,428 --> 01:13:10,389 Oh, yes. Believe me, I will be doing that. It goes without saying. 1059 01:13:10,390 --> 01:13:13,059 But if his pants... 1060 01:13:13,060 --> 01:13:15,311 decide to come off during the party... 1061 01:13:15,312 --> 01:13:18,498 could he have full use of his... 1062 01:13:21,068 --> 01:13:22,235 penis? 1063 01:13:22,236 --> 01:13:23,921 Okay. 1064 01:13:26,490 --> 01:13:28,825 This should shave a couple of days off. 1065 01:13:28,826 --> 01:13:31,536 Oh, good. 1066 01:13:31,537 --> 01:13:33,663 Thank you, Doctor. 1067 01:13:33,664 --> 01:13:36,123 Jim... 1068 01:13:36,124 --> 01:13:39,001 that's good news. 1069 01:13:39,002 --> 01:13:42,672 This has been a good-news day, son. Here. Put this on. 1070 01:13:42,673 --> 01:13:44,316 Little chilly out there. 1071 01:13:46,635 --> 01:13:48,820 Well, here we are. 1072 01:13:49,471 --> 01:13:51,597 You know, Jim... 1073 01:13:51,598 --> 01:13:55,393 I think we should keep your mother in the dark about the incident tonight. 1074 01:13:55,394 --> 01:13:58,855 I think the whole glue thing might get her a little queasy. 1075 01:13:58,856 --> 01:14:02,501 I don't know how I get myself into these things. 1076 01:14:06,530 --> 01:14:08,281 But thanks for understanding. 1077 01:14:08,282 --> 01:14:10,992 You've been really cool. 1078 01:14:10,993 --> 01:14:13,119 I mean, between this and... 1079 01:14:13,120 --> 01:14:14,972 you know... 1080 01:14:16,957 --> 01:14:21,085 You know, you may be Jimbo or Jumbo... 1081 01:14:21,086 --> 01:14:24,297 or Jimbodinny to these guys in here, but... 1082 01:14:24,298 --> 01:14:27,049 I want you to know there are two people... 1083 01:14:27,050 --> 01:14:30,612 who still remember where James Emanuel Levenstein came from. 1084 01:14:32,389 --> 01:14:35,641 We're awful proud of you, son. 1085 01:14:35,642 --> 01:14:37,578 Thanks, Dad. 1086 01:14:38,479 --> 01:14:40,205 Don't forget your penis cream. 1087 01:15:00,584 --> 01:15:02,793 That was it. 1088 01:15:02,794 --> 01:15:06,797 Right there. That was a pure tantric moment. 1089 01:15:06,798 --> 01:15:10,760 The fiicus, the water... it was all erotic. 1090 01:15:10,761 --> 01:15:15,640 One more stimulant, I would have had full release. 1091 01:15:15,641 --> 01:15:19,894 Finch, stay the fuck away from that fiicus. 1092 01:15:19,895 --> 01:15:21,663 That's a jizz-free fiicus. 1093 01:15:23,899 --> 01:15:28,152 There he is. Morning, Jimbo. How's the twig and giggleberries, man? 1094 01:15:28,153 --> 01:15:31,632 Oh, very colorful. My dick looks like a paint-by-numbers. 1095 01:15:33,700 --> 01:15:36,637 You're the only guy I know whose dick needs an instruction manual. 1096 01:15:41,750 --> 01:15:43,727 Casa de Stifler. 1097 01:15:48,006 --> 01:15:50,925 You're here now? No, that's cool. 1098 01:15:50,926 --> 01:15:53,636 You know, if you want to hang out with these guys. 1099 01:15:53,637 --> 01:15:55,989 Okay, then. I'll meet you out front. 1100 01:15:58,976 --> 01:16:01,995 - Hey, Stifler, was that... - Eat shit, Shitbreak. 1101 01:16:05,399 --> 01:16:06,500 She's here. 1102 01:16:08,777 --> 01:16:11,546 My lady has arrived. 1103 01:16:13,824 --> 01:16:16,617 - I gotta prepare. - Here we go. 1104 01:16:16,618 --> 01:16:19,888 - Great. Stifler's mom is here? - This could be a disaster. 1105 01:16:23,083 --> 01:16:25,751 Not unless Stifler's mom drives a moped. 1106 01:16:25,752 --> 01:16:26,895 Moped? 1107 01:16:30,340 --> 01:16:33,926 Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers. How you doin', boys? 1108 01:16:33,927 --> 01:16:37,388 - That's Stifler's little brother. - What are you doing here? 1109 01:16:37,389 --> 01:16:39,974 Pussy, man. I'm here for the pussy. 1110 01:16:39,975 --> 01:16:41,851 Take a number. 1111 01:16:41,852 --> 01:16:45,480 Gentlemen, why all the noise? Everybody knows this is my special day. 1112 01:16:45,481 --> 01:16:48,232 - What is that? - Is that a fuckin' dress? 1113 01:16:48,233 --> 01:16:52,945 - Are you wearing a dress? - Shitbreak, meet my little brother. 1114 01:16:52,946 --> 01:16:54,798 Little brother, meet Shitbreak. 1115 01:16:55,908 --> 01:16:58,218 - That's your brother? - Yes. 1116 01:17:00,954 --> 01:17:02,723 My lady's not coming. 1117 01:17:04,541 --> 01:17:09,629 So my entire stockpile is wasted... 1118 01:17:09,630 --> 01:17:12,065 and I look ridiculous! 1119 01:17:13,467 --> 01:17:15,152 Excuse me. 1120 01:17:20,474 --> 01:17:22,934 - That didn't look too good. - No. 1121 01:17:22,935 --> 01:17:28,040 - Let's go find your room. - So, where are the fuckin' females? 1122 01:17:30,818 --> 01:17:33,402 I can't believe I finally got you alone. 1123 01:17:33,403 --> 01:17:35,589 That only took, what, six weeks? 1124 01:17:36,657 --> 01:17:39,408 So, are you alone too? 1125 01:17:39,409 --> 01:17:41,994 - Yep. - Good. 1126 01:17:41,995 --> 01:17:45,748 I'm all alone. 1127 01:17:45,749 --> 01:17:48,644 Guess what I had in mind? 1128 01:17:51,797 --> 01:17:54,358 Hey, Marco, can you get your balls off me? 1129 01:17:55,384 --> 01:17:59,279 - What the hell's going on over there? - Nothing. 1130 01:17:59,346 --> 01:18:01,597 It's just my flatmates. 1131 01:18:01,598 --> 01:18:03,516 I guess this is kind of a lost cause, huh? 1132 01:18:03,517 --> 01:18:05,685 - Yeah, I guess so. - See ya this weekend? 1133 01:18:05,686 --> 01:18:07,854 - I can't wait. - I can't wait either. 1134 01:18:07,855 --> 01:18:09,122 Bye-bye. 1135 01:18:13,944 --> 01:18:16,779 - Surprise! - Holy... Nadia! 1136 01:18:16,780 --> 01:18:20,283 You're here? You're here. What are you doing here? 1137 01:18:20,284 --> 01:18:22,326 Jim, I got so tired of sightseeing. 1138 01:18:22,327 --> 01:18:24,745 But you're... you're early. 1139 01:18:24,746 --> 01:18:28,583 Okay. Nice to know you. 1140 01:18:28,584 --> 01:18:31,294 - I will leave. - No! 1141 01:18:31,295 --> 01:18:34,839 No. Don't... Don't leave. 1142 01:18:34,840 --> 01:18:36,984 Don't leave. No leaving. 1143 01:18:40,429 --> 01:18:44,348 It's just, I'm not gonna be ready... 1144 01:18:44,349 --> 01:18:48,537 I mean, the party won't be ready until Saturday. 1145 01:18:50,022 --> 01:18:52,565 I can stay here until then? 1146 01:18:52,566 --> 01:18:54,251 Yeah. 1147 01:18:55,319 --> 01:18:57,570 I'm gonna be right back. Is that okay? 1148 01:18:57,571 --> 01:19:00,239 - Okay. - Nadia... 1149 01:19:00,240 --> 01:19:03,844 who's in my room. Now. Holy shit. 1150 01:19:05,078 --> 01:19:07,205 All right, I've got a plan. 1151 01:19:07,206 --> 01:19:09,874 Okay. How about I come back with you... 1152 01:19:09,875 --> 01:19:11,584 and you say... 1153 01:19:11,585 --> 01:19:13,920 "Hello, this is Michele, my girlfriend." 1154 01:19:13,921 --> 01:19:17,548 And obviously, Nadia won't expect you to hop in the sack. 1155 01:19:17,549 --> 01:19:21,219 And then we break up the day of the party. 1156 01:19:21,220 --> 01:19:23,363 And you're all healed and back on the market. 1157 01:19:24,681 --> 01:19:27,308 - You're evil. - No way! 1158 01:19:27,309 --> 01:19:29,519 I'm like Cupid. 1159 01:19:29,520 --> 01:19:32,104 And I know how to make a girl jealous. 1160 01:19:32,105 --> 01:19:33,999 This is gonna be fun. 1161 01:19:34,191 --> 01:19:36,067 I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner... 1162 01:19:36,068 --> 01:19:38,587 but we just started seeing each other a few weeks ago. 1163 01:19:41,448 --> 01:19:44,784 But I'd really love it if you stayed here. 1164 01:19:44,785 --> 01:19:47,703 I think you should stay and have fun at the party. 1165 01:19:47,704 --> 01:19:51,374 Good for you, Jim. Of course I will stay. 1166 01:19:51,375 --> 01:19:54,418 That's great... That's my nipples! 1167 01:19:54,419 --> 01:19:57,314 She just loves my nipples. 1168 01:21:31,308 --> 01:21:32,743 - Oh, my God. - You still broken? 1169 01:21:33,519 --> 01:21:34,769 No. 1170 01:21:34,770 --> 01:21:36,896 I'm fine. 1171 01:21:36,897 --> 01:21:40,250 I might have to actually go through with this. 1172 01:21:43,237 --> 01:21:46,072 What's the big deal with Nadia, anyway? 1173 01:21:46,073 --> 01:21:47,990 I mean, okay... 1174 01:21:47,991 --> 01:21:51,786 so she's 50,000 times hotter than most girls... 1175 01:21:51,787 --> 01:21:54,306 but come on, it's just sex. 1176 01:21:54,998 --> 01:21:56,249 Oh, no. 1177 01:21:56,250 --> 01:21:58,626 You saw the thing on the Internet. 1178 01:21:58,627 --> 01:22:00,962 Did it look like I might have had... 1179 01:22:00,963 --> 01:22:03,732 a slight interest in Nadia then? 1180 01:22:05,384 --> 01:22:07,385 Add another year to that. 1181 01:22:07,386 --> 01:22:09,637 Okay. 1182 01:22:09,638 --> 01:22:13,266 Hey, why don't you bring Nadia to the concert first? 1183 01:22:13,267 --> 01:22:15,202 It'll be a cool date. 1184 01:22:16,103 --> 01:22:18,121 We'll see how things go. 1185 01:22:23,110 --> 01:22:26,988 Michele, you have been great. 1186 01:22:26,989 --> 01:22:28,781 Thank you. 1187 01:22:28,782 --> 01:22:30,509 Anytime. 1188 01:22:37,499 --> 01:22:39,393 Come on. 1189 01:22:42,337 --> 01:22:44,630 You ready to break up? 1190 01:22:44,631 --> 01:22:47,049 You big, stupid dummy! 1191 01:22:47,050 --> 01:22:49,427 Theater is so cool! 1192 01:22:49,428 --> 01:22:52,889 I don't care if you are the best lay I've ever had in my life. 1193 01:22:52,890 --> 01:22:56,100 - I hate your guts anyway. - Don't say that. 1194 01:22:56,101 --> 01:23:01,272 And I don't care if you did give me ten orgasms in a row... 1195 01:23:01,273 --> 01:23:03,333 because you smell really bad. 1196 01:23:05,861 --> 01:23:07,695 I smell really bad! 1197 01:23:07,696 --> 01:23:11,324 Because we've been having so much sex, and... 1198 01:23:11,325 --> 01:23:14,928 and I haven't showered, and I wanna shower! 1199 01:23:16,413 --> 01:23:20,416 So, don't you go being all super sexy guy any more... 1200 01:23:20,417 --> 01:23:22,919 because I am now impervious... 1201 01:23:22,920 --> 01:23:26,773 to your unrelenting machismo and sexual ardor. 1202 01:23:27,591 --> 01:23:30,944 And that includes fucking me in the ass! So there! 1203 01:23:38,560 --> 01:23:40,746 We had something special. 1204 01:24:22,479 --> 01:24:24,480 Vicki. Hey. 1205 01:24:24,481 --> 01:24:27,942 I'm so glad you came. You want something to drink or... 1206 01:24:27,943 --> 01:24:29,878 Can I help you? 1207 01:24:31,196 --> 01:24:32,530 - Kevin. - What? 1208 01:24:32,531 --> 01:24:34,007 That's my date. 1209 01:24:49,548 --> 01:24:51,841 You saved them all. 1210 01:24:51,842 --> 01:24:53,610 How sweet. 1211 01:24:54,595 --> 01:24:56,613 You don't think I'm a dork? 1212 01:24:59,349 --> 01:25:03,870 Whatever you are, Jim, it is what I like. 1213 01:25:05,606 --> 01:25:07,690 Kevin left. Didn't look good. 1214 01:25:07,691 --> 01:25:09,876 Kevin left? 1215 01:25:10,611 --> 01:25:12,379 Just wandered down the beach. 1216 01:25:16,492 --> 01:25:18,510 You okay, Kev? 1217 01:25:21,663 --> 01:25:23,640 Wanna tell us what's up? 1218 01:25:25,250 --> 01:25:27,561 Wanna feel Finch's ass? 1219 01:25:31,006 --> 01:25:34,509 No, I went to say hi to Vicky... 1220 01:25:34,510 --> 01:25:37,386 and she was there with a date. 1221 01:25:37,387 --> 01:25:40,014 You hooked up with three girls this year. You're doing fine. 1222 01:25:40,015 --> 01:25:42,075 Rule of three, Oz. 1223 01:25:48,106 --> 01:25:50,983 I guess I was living in the past... wanting to party with you guys... 1224 01:25:50,984 --> 01:25:53,611 and be with Vicky, just like high school. 1225 01:25:53,612 --> 01:25:56,197 You remember that day after prom? 1226 01:25:56,198 --> 01:25:59,092 You know, we made a toast to the next step. 1227 01:26:00,285 --> 01:26:03,013 I guess I never took it. 1228 01:26:05,123 --> 01:26:08,584 My brother said that by the end of the summer I'd see the big picture. 1229 01:26:08,585 --> 01:26:10,670 And I see it. 1230 01:26:10,671 --> 01:26:14,382 No matter what, times change and things are different. 1231 01:26:14,383 --> 01:26:17,927 The problem is, I don't want them to be. 1232 01:26:17,928 --> 01:26:20,096 You know, Kevin, I haven't moved on either. 1233 01:26:20,097 --> 01:26:22,265 I've been obsessed with the one woman... 1234 01:26:22,266 --> 01:26:24,559 I can't have a real future with... 1235 01:26:24,560 --> 01:26:28,705 other than a very kinky, extremely warped one. 1236 01:26:30,023 --> 01:26:32,459 I got to find a new goddess. 1237 01:26:33,861 --> 01:26:37,321 It's gonna take patience, but I've been celibate all summer. 1238 01:26:37,322 --> 01:26:41,510 - You kinda get used to it, though, huh? - Are you insane? 1239 01:26:44,204 --> 01:26:48,457 Look, Kev, different does not necessarily mean worse. 1240 01:26:48,458 --> 01:26:51,436 As a matter of fact, I think things are just getting better. 1241 01:26:51,637 --> 01:26:54,731 Or am I gonna have to drag your ass back to that party and prove it to you? 1242 01:26:55,883 --> 01:26:57,192 I'll walk. 1243 01:27:14,359 --> 01:27:17,570 You know, you have beautiful eyes. 1244 01:27:17,571 --> 01:27:21,741 - Oh, you're sweet. - That's a really nice top. 1245 01:27:21,742 --> 01:27:25,244 - Oh. Thanks. - You're welcome. 1246 01:27:25,245 --> 01:27:28,581 - Wanna fuck? - Are you serious? 1247 01:27:28,582 --> 01:27:31,792 Come on, baby. Give it to the Stifmeister. 1248 01:27:31,793 --> 01:27:34,754 - I think you better... - Your loss. 1249 01:27:34,755 --> 01:27:37,924 Wow. You know, you have beautiful eyes. 1250 01:27:37,925 --> 01:27:41,594 Come here, dude. You're making an ass out of yourself. 1251 01:27:41,595 --> 01:27:45,097 You're ruining my mojo. And you're not the Stifmeister, okay? 1252 01:27:45,098 --> 01:27:47,558 It takes years to develop true Stifmeister style. 1253 01:27:47,559 --> 01:27:50,937 Come on, man! I just wanna see some boobs. 1254 01:27:50,938 --> 01:27:52,814 - Hey, Pop Tart. - Dream on, midget. 1255 01:27:52,815 --> 01:27:56,359 Excuse him. Come here. Take this. You're on cop watch. 1256 01:27:56,360 --> 01:27:59,320 Go out in the driveway. See any cops, call me, okay? 1257 01:27:59,321 --> 01:28:01,214 All right. 1258 01:28:11,208 --> 01:28:15,270 Gentlemen, this appears to be a party. 1259 01:28:18,090 --> 01:28:21,634 Guys, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go look for Nadia. 1260 01:28:21,635 --> 01:28:23,570 Good luck. 1261 01:28:26,932 --> 01:28:29,142 So what was this year like for you? 1262 01:28:29,143 --> 01:28:31,477 Did you miss high school? 1263 01:28:31,478 --> 01:28:33,563 Well, no. 1264 01:28:33,564 --> 01:28:37,334 When you travel as much as I do, you get used to moving on. 1265 01:28:38,569 --> 01:28:41,088 But I have great memories. 1266 01:28:44,533 --> 01:28:47,719 - Wow, can we go in there? - The lighthouse? 1267 01:28:50,831 --> 01:28:52,748 Yes. 1268 01:28:52,749 --> 01:28:54,584 Yes, we can. 1269 01:28:54,585 --> 01:28:56,603 How romantic. 1270 01:28:59,089 --> 01:29:00,524 Jim, come on. 1271 01:29:17,357 --> 01:29:20,693 It's beautiful! 1272 01:29:20,694 --> 01:29:22,462 Cool! 1273 01:29:24,990 --> 01:29:29,452 Jim, I have told you my memories from high school. 1274 01:29:29,453 --> 01:29:31,305 What are yours? 1275 01:29:36,877 --> 01:29:38,085 You. 1276 01:29:38,086 --> 01:29:40,480 You have not changed. 1277 01:29:45,010 --> 01:29:48,179 Jim, relax. 1278 01:29:48,180 --> 01:29:52,659 We are just, how do you say, tooting our horns. 1279 01:29:53,685 --> 01:29:55,728 Actually, that is quite difficult. 1280 01:29:55,729 --> 01:29:57,039 What do you mean? 1281 01:29:57,815 --> 01:30:01,168 Well, this one time at band camp... 1282 01:30:06,490 --> 01:30:08,717 Holy shit! 1283 01:30:09,910 --> 01:30:12,179 What? Tell me. 1284 01:30:13,413 --> 01:30:17,017 Well, this one time at band camp... 1285 01:30:18,085 --> 01:30:20,253 I got stuck playing this trombone. 1286 01:30:20,254 --> 01:30:23,506 And I can't play anything at all. So I totally sucked. 1287 01:30:23,507 --> 01:30:25,450 And everyone thought I was this Petey guy... 1288 01:30:25,451 --> 01:30:28,402 but I didn't know what to think, so I just kept playing and playing... 1289 01:30:28,403 --> 01:30:30,471 and I didn't know what I was doing. 1290 01:30:30,472 --> 01:30:32,366 It was so funny! 1291 01:30:33,767 --> 01:30:36,954 - I gotta go. - What? Why? 1292 01:30:39,731 --> 01:30:41,732 Please don't take this the wrong way... 1293 01:30:41,733 --> 01:30:44,277 but you're... 1294 01:30:44,278 --> 01:30:47,446 you're everything that I used to want. 1295 01:30:47,447 --> 01:30:50,616 And as much as I may really... 1296 01:30:50,617 --> 01:30:54,429 really regret what I'm about to do... 1297 01:30:55,789 --> 01:30:57,790 there's somebody else I want to be with. 1298 01:30:57,791 --> 01:31:00,918 You want the band geek? 1299 01:31:00,919 --> 01:31:02,229 Nadia... 1300 01:31:03,172 --> 01:31:05,232 I am a band geek. 1301 01:31:06,508 --> 01:31:09,403 I just never joined the band. 1302 01:31:14,057 --> 01:31:16,076 You go get your geek. 1303 01:31:17,644 --> 01:31:19,580 Someday I will find mine. 1304 01:31:38,332 --> 01:31:41,709 Hey. Kevin Myers. 1305 01:31:41,710 --> 01:31:44,003 Hi. Sorry I was a dick before. 1306 01:31:44,004 --> 01:31:46,923 It's okay, man. My name's Brett. 1307 01:31:46,924 --> 01:31:49,860 - Can you give us a sec? - Sure. 1308 01:31:51,178 --> 01:31:53,429 Look, you don't have to do this. 1309 01:31:53,430 --> 01:31:56,015 Maybe I was being selfish... 1310 01:31:56,016 --> 01:31:59,519 in wanting to be your friend. 1311 01:31:59,520 --> 01:32:02,271 Maybe it's just not gonna work. 1312 01:32:02,272 --> 01:32:05,959 I would much rather have you as a friend than not have you in my life at all. 1313 01:32:19,206 --> 01:32:21,266 Party on! 1314 01:32:26,713 --> 01:32:30,400 - From the lighthouse all the way... - Hey, handsome. 1315 01:32:37,349 --> 01:32:39,016 What are you doing here? 1316 01:32:39,017 --> 01:32:41,477 I was gonna pick you up at the airport in two hours. 1317 01:32:41,478 --> 01:32:43,855 I took an earlier flight, and I thought I'd surprise you. 1318 01:32:43,856 --> 01:32:47,817 - Yeah, you did. - Kinda weird without the phone, huh? 1319 01:32:47,818 --> 01:32:50,153 We'll get used to it. 1320 01:32:50,154 --> 01:32:53,590 Come on. I wanna hear all about it. We'll grab you a drink. 1321 01:32:54,408 --> 01:32:57,201 Steve, this cop-watch thing is horseshit. 1322 01:32:57,202 --> 01:32:58,762 Hello? 1323 01:33:00,455 --> 01:33:03,082 Man, this sucks. 1324 01:33:03,083 --> 01:33:05,018 Who is it out there? 1325 01:33:08,088 --> 01:33:10,840 It's the Stifmeister, baby. 1326 01:33:10,841 --> 01:33:12,568 Is that so? 1327 01:33:17,097 --> 01:33:19,575 Life's a bitch, isn't it? 1328 01:33:21,727 --> 01:33:25,104 It's all right. You don't have to say anything. 1329 01:33:25,105 --> 01:33:27,607 I'm used to girls ignoring me. 1330 01:33:27,608 --> 01:33:29,609 Or making fun of me. 1331 01:33:29,610 --> 01:33:31,795 "Come on, Sherman. Be the Sherminator." 1332 01:33:33,363 --> 01:33:36,491 Like the movie. How clever. 1333 01:33:36,492 --> 01:33:38,552 I get it, okay? 1334 01:33:40,204 --> 01:33:41,746 Maybe I am a geek. 1335 01:33:41,747 --> 01:33:44,391 Whatever. 1336 01:33:46,460 --> 01:33:49,563 Yes! Yes, you are! 1337 01:33:51,965 --> 01:33:53,650 All right. 1338 01:33:55,719 --> 01:33:59,514 I am the Sherminator. 1339 01:33:59,515 --> 01:34:03,100 A sophisticated sex robot sent back through time... 1340 01:34:03,101 --> 01:34:05,746 to change the future for one lucky lady. 1341 01:34:06,605 --> 01:34:08,689 I am lucky lady? 1342 01:34:08,690 --> 01:34:10,775 That's right, Nadia. 1343 01:34:10,776 --> 01:34:13,528 You've been targeted for Shermination. 1344 01:34:13,529 --> 01:34:16,298 Come with me if you want to live. 1345 01:34:19,785 --> 01:34:20,636 Help! 1346 01:34:24,957 --> 01:34:27,416 - Fuck me, geek! - Affirmative! 1347 01:34:27,417 --> 01:34:29,978 No fuckin' way! 1348 01:34:36,093 --> 01:34:39,404 - Forget it. - Like you have a chance. 1349 01:34:54,611 --> 01:34:56,463 Cheers, bud. 1350 01:35:02,077 --> 01:35:05,121 Hey, Steve, look what I found. 1351 01:35:05,122 --> 01:35:07,724 - Dude, don't touch the shirt. - Just look. 1352 01:35:10,627 --> 01:35:11,687 - Hi. - Hey, there. 1353 01:35:12,045 --> 01:35:14,982 Brilliant. You found lesbians. 1354 01:35:16,341 --> 01:35:18,968 Good luck trying to break through that force field. 1355 01:35:18,969 --> 01:35:22,406 - Lesbians? - We never said that. 1356 01:35:28,353 --> 01:35:31,039 - What? - We never said that. 1357 01:35:34,568 --> 01:35:36,378 Oh, man. 1358 01:35:37,362 --> 01:35:41,324 I will do anything... anything... to sleep with you chicks. 1359 01:35:41,325 --> 01:35:45,870 Okay? I'll grab every guy's ass in this room. 1360 01:35:45,871 --> 01:35:49,123 I'll caress it, even. I'll shave some ass if they need it. 1361 01:35:49,124 --> 01:35:51,459 Oh, yeah. You heard me. 1362 01:35:51,460 --> 01:35:56,589 It's true. I'll kiss everybody here. Dudes, chicks, everybody. 1363 01:35:56,590 --> 01:36:00,426 Because I am comfortable with my sexuality. 1364 01:36:00,427 --> 01:36:01,862 Oh, yeah. 1365 01:36:03,806 --> 01:36:06,408 At least have a drink with the Stifmeister. 1366 01:36:07,768 --> 01:36:09,786 - All right. - That's fair. 1367 01:36:11,480 --> 01:36:13,206 All right. 1368 01:36:15,651 --> 01:36:18,069 You truly are a Stifmeister. 1369 01:36:18,070 --> 01:36:22,281 - Welcome back to the party. - Steve, those are my lesbians. 1370 01:36:22,282 --> 01:36:25,201 - Ladies, I am down with the funky shit. - Like what? 1371 01:36:25,202 --> 01:36:27,638 One time at this party, I was drinking champagne... 1372 01:36:30,666 --> 01:36:32,416 Thank you. Thank you. 1373 01:36:32,417 --> 01:36:35,896 Our next soloist will be Michele Flaherty. 1374 01:37:04,658 --> 01:37:06,593 Petey? 1375 01:37:10,914 --> 01:37:13,267 This kid is killing me. 1376 01:37:15,544 --> 01:37:17,771 - You suck, retard. - I'm not retarded. 1377 01:37:18,964 --> 01:37:21,149 I'm a very special boy. 1378 01:37:37,566 --> 01:37:39,710 How's this for a band camp story? 1379 01:37:50,871 --> 01:37:54,641 Come on, guys. Let's hear it for Petey! 1380 01:38:22,986 --> 01:38:25,380 That untalented bastard. 1381 01:39:06,822 --> 01:39:09,132 - Good for them. - It's awesome. 1382 01:39:12,578 --> 01:39:15,246 - Wanna dance? - Yeah. 1383 01:39:15,247 --> 01:39:18,225 We'll be back. Come on now, baby. 1384 01:40:02,377 --> 01:40:05,439 You know, there's only one word for that party. 1385 01:40:05,631 --> 01:40:07,983 - Bitchin'. - Out of control. 1386 01:40:09,551 --> 01:40:11,862 Am I gonna have a hangover? 'Cause I want one. 1387 01:40:19,311 --> 01:40:20,621 Later. 1388 01:40:21,563 --> 01:40:23,314 - Good-bye. - See ya. 1389 01:40:23,315 --> 01:40:26,442 - Let's go to our page. - We have to write about this party. 1390 01:40:26,443 --> 01:40:29,403 This party was crazy! Look at my date! He's passed out! 1391 01:40:29,404 --> 01:40:31,965 - You drank him under the table. - He couldn't hack it. 1392 01:41:10,904 --> 01:41:14,282 - Best summer ever, huh, fellas? - Absolutely. 1393 01:41:14,283 --> 01:41:18,512 - Sorry things didn't work out for you. - You kiddin'? Things are great. 1394 01:41:18,787 --> 01:41:21,122 I have all the time in the world. 1395 01:41:21,123 --> 01:41:23,291 So, are we gonna do this every summer? 1396 01:41:23,292 --> 01:41:25,710 - Hell, yeah, we are. - Of course we are, gentlemen. 1397 01:41:25,711 --> 01:41:27,396 Well, we're gonna try. 1398 01:41:38,682 --> 01:41:41,660 - That's a sweet car. - It is sweet. 1399 01:41:47,524 --> 01:41:49,942 - Stifler's mom. - Hey, Finchy. 1400 01:41:49,943 --> 01:41:51,986 How did you know I was here? 1401 01:41:51,987 --> 01:41:54,280 I called a couple of weeks ago. 1402 01:41:54,281 --> 01:41:56,824 Didn't Steven tell you that I was gonna drop by sometime? 1403 01:41:56,825 --> 01:41:59,720 I guess it slipped his mind. 1404 01:42:01,371 --> 01:42:03,181 What's your name? 1405 01:42:05,250 --> 01:42:06,560 Jeanine. 1406 01:42:09,463 --> 01:42:11,798 Okay, well... 1407 01:42:11,799 --> 01:42:15,134 I've been thinking, and, you know, I'm 19 years old. 1408 01:42:15,135 --> 01:42:19,347 There's a whole world out there. I can't be obsessed with one woman. 1409 01:42:19,348 --> 01:42:23,243 - Just can't be. - I'm glad you're learning, Finchy. 1410 01:42:24,645 --> 01:42:26,538 Good. 1411 01:42:29,608 --> 01:42:33,587 - You want to get it on? - You better clear your schedule. 1412 01:42:36,990 --> 01:42:39,075 See you guys later. 1413 01:42:39,076 --> 01:42:41,202 Where are you goin', man? What about Dog Years? 1414 01:42:41,203 --> 01:42:45,098 Give me, like, three days. 1415 01:42:46,917 --> 01:42:49,252 Wait, was that who I think... 1416 01:42:49,253 --> 01:42:51,712 - No. - Yeah! 1417 01:42:51,713 --> 01:42:54,399 - I think it was. - I think so too. 1418 01:42:57,344 --> 01:42:59,345 Who the hell was that? 1419 01:42:59,346 --> 01:43:00,930 That was... 1420 01:43:00,931 --> 01:43:02,682 That was... Someone was lost. 1421 01:43:02,683 --> 01:43:06,894 - Lookin' for the lake. - Yeah, all turned around. 1422 01:43:06,895 --> 01:43:10,207 What a dumb ass. The lake's right there. 1423 01:43:15,696 --> 01:43:19,532 Incredible. How does Finch get so lucky? 1424 01:43:19,533 --> 01:43:21,635 What are you worried about? You got a girlfriend now. 1425 01:43:21,869 --> 01:43:24,871 Everything in. Let's go. Pony up. Dog Years awaits. 1426 01:43:24,872 --> 01:43:28,040 Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. 1427 01:43:28,041 --> 01:43:30,209 - I have a girlfriend now. - Yeah, you do. 1428 01:43:30,210 --> 01:43:32,753 - She's my girlfriend. - All right, Jimbo. 1429 01:43:32,754 --> 01:43:34,714 Let's go! Let's go! 1430 01:43:34,715 --> 01:43:36,174 - Where's Shitbreak? - The movies. 1431 01:43:36,175 --> 01:43:38,009 - Took the bus. - Coffee. 1432 01:43:38,010 --> 01:43:40,219 Wait a second. 1433 01:43:40,220 --> 01:43:42,656 Who the fuck was in that car? 1434 01:43:49,438 --> 01:43:51,665 Oh, Finchy, I missed you. 1435 01:43:53,108 --> 01:43:56,402 Oh, Jeanine. Jeanine. 1436 01:43:56,403 --> 01:43:58,338 Call me Stifler's mom. 1437 01:44:00,407 --> 01:44:03,510 Oh, Stifler's mom! 1438 01:44:08,535 --> 01:44:14,535 Subtitles downloaded from podnapisi.NET 107148