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1
00:00:55,389 --> 00:01:00,103
Aw... Hey, Grady.
How are you doing?
2
00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:04,941
Aw... Hey. Aw, look at that.
3
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:06,976
Okay, what are you looking at?
4
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,312
I was just going through
my old album here,
5
00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:12,715
looking at some of
my family pictures.
6
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:16,786
Aw, look at that one.
7
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,355
You know who that naked baby is
8
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:21,058
on the bearskin rug?
9
00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:22,625
No, Grady, let me guess.
10
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:26,329
Yeah, that's me...
11
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:28,398
Without the beard, of course.
12
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,500
Oh, of course.
13
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:31,601
Say, Grady, isn't
it embarrassing
14
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,537
having a picture like
that of yourself around?
15
00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:36,540
Oh, no. Almost every
baby in the family
16
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:40,110
had a picture taken
on that bearskin rug.
17
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:42,812
That was the most
popular rug in town...
18
00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:44,669
And the wettest.
19
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:47,884
They put you on a wet rug?
20
00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:51,810
Well, they said I made
my contribution too.
21
00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:57,327
Well, what's with
this sudden interest
22
00:01:57,351 --> 00:02:00,029
all of a sudden in your
family album, Grady?
23
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:03,032
Oh, well, I had forgotten
what Cousin Emma looked like,
24
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,168
so I thought I'd
better check it out
25
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:07,304
so I could recognize
her when she gets here.
26
00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,172
When she gets here? Uh-huh.
27
00:02:09,196 --> 00:02:10,373
Your cousin Emma is coming here?
28
00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:11,374
Well, yeah.
29
00:02:11,398 --> 00:02:12,576
She called from the bus station,
30
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,010
and she says she'd be here soon.
31
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,946
Here, meaning this house?
32
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:20,683
Well, I hope your cousin Emma
ain't planning on staying here.
33
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:25,054
Oh, no, nope, nope, nope. Uh-uh.
34
00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:26,856
No, she's moving from Chicago,
35
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,691
and she's going
to get herself a job.
36
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:29,993
She does housekeeping.
37
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,328
Yeah. Is this my
lunch? What is it?
38
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:34,264
Oh yeah, that's your sandwich.
39
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:37,033
That's peanut butter
and hoghead cheese
40
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,002
on pumpernickel bread
41
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:40,859
with a slice of onion.
42
00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:43,406
Good.
43
00:02:43,430 --> 00:02:46,042
And a little mayonnaise.
44
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:47,611
Great.
45
00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,212
Well, just as long as
your cousin Emma,
46
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:50,447
ain't planning on
staying here, Grady,
47
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:52,449
because you know Pop
wouldn't dig that too tough.
48
00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:54,284
You don't have to
worry about that.
49
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,853
She wouldn't stay
even if I asked her to.
50
00:02:56,877 --> 00:02:58,522
She's very independent.
51
00:02:58,546 --> 00:02:59,523
Oh, good.
52
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,391
And proud.
53
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:04,927
Go ahead, ask me if she
ever applied for welfare.
54
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:09,832
Did... Did she ever
apply for welfare?
55
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:16,005
Once.
56
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:19,331
And even then, she
sent her husband.
57
00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:21,668
Proud woman. Proud.
58
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:26,149
There, that's probably
Cousin Emma right now.
59
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:27,217
Now, you go ahead
60
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,751
and you finish your sandwich,
61
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:31,821
and when you get through,
come on out and say hello.
62
00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:34,224
I mean, she's proud too.
63
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:39,429
That was... I mean...
Hey, that was...
64
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:40,885
Cousin Emma!
65
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:45,535
Oh, let me look at you...
66
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:48,960
The same Grady
Wilson, except the beard.
67
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,542
Who is this?
68
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,477
Oh, that's Lamont Sanford.
69
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:56,246
He's the son of my best friend
70
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:58,014
who left me in charge here
71
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:00,016
while he's away in St. Louis.
72
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,018
Ain't he cute?
73
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:04,020
Grady, Grady, you
know who he looks like?
74
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:07,346
He looks just like
Sidney Poitier. Mm!
75
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:12,929
Uh, where, under the arms?
76
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:16,433
No, no, really.
77
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:17,434
How come some little girl
78
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:20,169
hasn't come along
and stolen you away?
79
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:23,306
Well, I, uh, I'm not
in any particular hurry
80
00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:24,807
to get married.
81
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:25,975
How old are you?
82
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:26,976
Thirty-one.
83
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,212
Thirty-one? Yes, ma'am.
84
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:30,380
If you wait much longer,
85
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:32,215
you ain't going to
have no June bride.
86
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,673
You're going have
a Geritol bride.
87
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,423
A Geritol bride!
88
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,858
Ain't she funny, Lamont?
89
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,460
Hysterical.
90
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:45,595
You wasn't like that, Grady.
91
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:46,663
You was a devil
92
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,231
when you was a young fellow.
93
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:51,167
Yeah, well, that's true.
I was sort of a devil.
94
00:04:51,191 --> 00:04:53,336
You know, back in Chicago,
95
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,706
they used to call him the
Sheik of Drexel Avenue.
96
00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,107
Every Saturday night,
97
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,209
he had some woman chasing him.
98
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:01,833
What'd he do, snatch her purse?
99
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,715
Well, no, that's true.
100
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:09,185
They used to call me
Grady the Lady-killer.
101
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:11,321
You sure got a nice place here.
102
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:12,689
How many bedrooms have you got?
103
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,153
Two. One!
104
00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:16,693
How many?
105
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:19,862
Well, there's one for me
and there's one for him.
106
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:21,364
Oh, well, that's what
I've got to find me,
107
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:22,532
a room.
108
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:24,401
Oh, hey, Emma,
don't worry about it.
109
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:25,635
You'll find a room.
110
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,470
Now, just come on
over here and sit down.
111
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,905
Take a load off your feet.
112
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,707
Well, I don't want to
waste no time, now.
113
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,676
I want job and a place to live.
114
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,177
Have you got this
morning's paper
115
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,945
so I can look up the want-ads?
116
00:05:35,969 --> 00:05:38,047
Emma, you just got here.
Now, what's your hurry?
117
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,282
Now, just take it easy.
118
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:41,518
Well, Grady, I don't
want to be no trouble,
119
00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,920
and I thought I'd find
me a nice motel to stay in
120
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:44,921
for a while.
121
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,323
Oh, no, now,
122
00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:47,924
you don't want to
stay in no motel.
123
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:49,326
You know, a lot of those motels
124
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,394
show those dirty
movies, you know?
125
00:05:51,418 --> 00:05:52,862
No!
126
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,597
Not all motels
show dirty movies.
127
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,199
I mean, some of them are nice.
128
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:58,768
Maybe I can find me
a nice rooming house
129
00:05:58,792 --> 00:05:59,769
to live in.
130
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,604
Do you know a
nice rooming house?
131
00:06:01,628 --> 00:06:04,741
Someplace nice and
homey, like this nice place.
132
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,109
Well, Emma, you're not
going to find anyplace
133
00:06:07,133 --> 00:06:08,978
your first day in town.
134
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,179
I'll tell you what.
135
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,981
Now, why don't you
stay here a few days
136
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,350
until you get settled down?
137
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:16,174
I know a nice
motel in El Segundo.
138
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:20,923
She's not going
to stay in a motel.
139
00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:22,592
Now, Emma, you
just stay right here.
140
00:06:22,616 --> 00:06:24,828
No, no, absolutely
not. I won't hear of it.
141
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,696
Did you hear that, Grady?
142
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,931
Absolutely not. She
wouldn't hear of that.
143
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:29,932
Now, why not?
144
00:06:29,956 --> 00:06:31,468
Because it's not fair,
145
00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:33,069
and I don't want
to be no trouble,
146
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,637
and you've only
got two bedrooms.
147
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,506
Well, I'll tell you what.
148
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:37,974
Now, Lamont can sleep with me,
149
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,109
and you take his room.
150
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,110
Grady!
151
00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:43,546
Oh, no, I couldn't
do that to Lamont.
152
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,516
Did you hear that? Cousin
Emma couldn't do that to Lamont.
153
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,985
Well, sure you
can. Do it to him.
154
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:53,322
Oh, I couldn't do
it to him. Unless...
155
00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:54,424
Unless?
156
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:56,225
Unless you let me do
the cooking, the washing,
157
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,227
and ironing, the cleaning,
and the making of the beds.
158
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,997
That way I'd feel like
I was paying my way.
159
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,299
Oh, no, no, no, no. We
could never have that.
160
00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,167
We'd never have
you do all those things.
161
00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:07,537
Well, then, I guess I'll
go back to the bus station
162
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,205
and sleep in the ladies' toilet.
163
00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:12,074
I'll drive you.
164
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,877
No, now, wait a minute, Emma.
165
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:14,878
Okay, all right,
166
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:16,145
you can do all those things
167
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,747
you said you were going to do.
168
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,817
Didn't I tell you
that she was proud?
169
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,019
But I just really
wouldn't feel right
170
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,854
having a relative
of mine staying here
171
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,689
and working for nothing.
172
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:27,924
Well, it ain't for nothing.
173
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,593
You're giving me
a place to stay.
174
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:33,496
Now, what time is breakfast?
175
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,097
I'm going to get a
good night's sleep,
176
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,099
and then I'm going to
fix you both a breakfast
177
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,201
you ain't ever going to forget.
178
00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:42,204
Do you like hotcakes
and sausages
179
00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:45,942
and blueberry muffins
and scrambled eggs?
180
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:47,376
You're going to fix all of that?
181
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,711
I am.
182
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,346
Oh, Lord, Emma,
183
00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,715
you're just going to
spoil us around here.
184
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,751
Don't get too used to it,
185
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:56,385
because I'm going
to find me a job
186
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:59,021
and be out of here tomorrow.
187
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:01,658
Which one is your
bedroom, honey?
188
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,259
Oh, it's the first
one on the right.
189
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,662
Now, give me this suitcase
and I'll help you up the stairs.
190
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:06,830
No, I can do that.
191
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:08,665
You ain't going to
do nothing for me.
192
00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:12,034
I'm going to do it all for you.
193
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:14,036
Okay, Emma, we'll be
up there in a few minutes
194
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,672
and show you
where everything is.
195
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,841
Oh, thank you, Grady.
196
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:19,542
Thank you, Lamont.
197
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:22,868
Oh, the Lord will
reward you for this.
198
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:28,518
I deserve a reward
for sleeping... Grady...
199
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:29,619
Shush!
200
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:30,620
What's the matter with you?
201
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:31,788
You're a guest here yourself.
202
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:34,290
What gives you the right
to be giving up my room?
203
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:38,327
Look, I'm sorry about that,
204
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,030
but you can't let her
sleep out in the street,
205
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,867
and besides, your conscience
would keep you awake all night.
206
00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,034
Yeah, well, that's better
207
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:46,870
than your snoring
keeping me awake.
208
00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:48,037
I snore?
209
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:50,707
Yes, you snore, and
you suck your teeth.
210
00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:51,975
Okay, all right.
211
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:54,978
I promise I won't suck my teeth.
212
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,647
You're doing it right
now, Grady Wilson.
213
00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,315
You're sucking your teeth!
214
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:02,541
Well, if I suck them now, I
won't suck them in my sleep.
215
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:20,269
Grady... Grady!
216
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:23,606
Grady!
217
00:09:23,630 --> 00:09:26,509
You're sucking your teeth again.
218
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:27,944
How could I be sucking my teeth
219
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,646
when I was sleeping?
220
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,548
Well, you're sucking
them in your sleep.
221
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:32,849
And move over.
222
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:35,184
You're trying to hog
up this whole bed.
223
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,887
I'm over as far as I can go.
224
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:41,123
I don't want to be too
near those toenails.
225
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:44,493
When did you cut them
things last, anyway?
226
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:48,230
This is like sleeping
with Fu Manchu!
227
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,398
I never should have agreed
228
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,200
to go along with
this in the first place,
229
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,502
and that's what I get
for being Mr. Nice Guy.
230
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,237
Just think of the nice breakfast
231
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,839
we're going to
have in the morning,
232
00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:59,642
the blueberry muffins,
the scrambled eggs,
233
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:02,111
the sausage...
234
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,279
Shh.
235
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:04,547
What is it?
236
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:05,848
You hear that?
237
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:23,548
It sounds... sounds
like a plane taking off.
238
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:28,337
We are near the
airport, aren't we?
239
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,806
That plane ain't taking off.
240
00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,075
It's landed.
241
00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:35,433
And it landed in my
room. It's a DC-Emma!
242
00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:41,017
Oh, that's because
she's in there
243
00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:43,753
sleeping on her back.
244
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:44,988
You want to go in there
245
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:48,091
and roll her over
on her stomach?
246
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:49,458
No, I don't want to go in there
247
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,760
and roll her over
on her stomach!
248
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,361
What do I look
like, a seal trainer?
249
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,931
Okay, all right, all right.
250
00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:57,299
Just close your
eyes and go to sleep.
251
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,534
How am I supposed to sleep
252
00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,503
with that roaring
going on in there?
253
00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:01,971
Well, just try and forget it.
254
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,072
I mean, do like me.
255
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:04,841
Just think about
the nice breakfast
256
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:07,209
we're going to
have in the morning.
257
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,266
Lamont?
258
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,001
Lamont, are you awake?
259
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,525
Barely, barely. Oh...
260
00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:37,707
I hardly slept a wink all night.
261
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:40,877
Oh yeah? I slept like a baby.
262
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:43,012
A baby octopus.
263
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,346
Huh?
264
00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:45,882
You were all over
that bed, Grady.
265
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,950
How many elbows
do you have, anyway?
266
00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:50,619
Listen, man, today
your cousin Emma goes.
267
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:51,988
Now, don't be so hasty...
268
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:53,322
Today, Grady. Today.
269
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,692
She's probably in
the kitchen right now.
270
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,326
Now, it'll all be worth it
271
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,796
when we go in there
and see the breakfast
272
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:03,032
that Cousin Emma
has prepared for us.
273
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,801
Oh, I could smell
it out here now.
274
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,169
It smells so good!
275
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:08,126
Come on. Just get in there.
276
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:15,978
She's not here.
277
00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:17,680
You know what you smelled?
278
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:21,784
You forgot to take the
garbage out last night.
279
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:23,986
Wow. I wonder where
Cousin Emma is.
280
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,654
I've got a pretty good idea.
281
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:26,989
Oh, she's probably out shopping
282
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:28,624
for our breakfast right now.
283
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,159
That's where she is.
284
00:12:30,183 --> 00:12:32,962
Come on, let's go to the
door and help her out with it.
285
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,330
Yeah, she probably
didn't see what she needed
286
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:35,364
around the house,
287
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,033
so she just went on
down to the store...
288
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,422
Hey, sport.
289
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:44,506
Good morning, Grady.
Good morning, Lamont.
290
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,008
Good morning, Cousin Emma.
291
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:47,043
Do you feel all right?
292
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,511
No, I don't, now that you ask.
293
00:12:49,535 --> 00:12:51,814
I didn't sleep a
wink last night.
294
00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:53,549
You didn't, huh?
295
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:55,017
Not a wink.
296
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:56,418
Well, there must
be a giant cockroach
297
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,442
up in your room
snoring awfully loud.
298
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:03,392
Well, I guess I'll go fix
breakfast like I promised.
299
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,928
Oh! Oh!
300
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:08,330
Cousin Emma, are you
sure you feel up to it, now?
301
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:10,066
Of course I feel up to it.
302
00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,467
You just wait right out here.
303
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:14,336
I'll have it ready in a jiffy.
304
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:19,341
Oh... Oh...
305
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,377
I'm going down to the
diner to get some breakfast.
306
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,179
I don't want to be
around to see this.
307
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:24,580
Now, wait a minute.
Come on, now.
308
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:25,815
Just give her a chance.
309
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:27,884
This is her first time
in a strange house.
310
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,218
Grady, she ain't in no condition
311
00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,286
to do nothing, man.
312
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,454
She'll probably
fall in the sink.
313
00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:34,190
No, she'll be all
right. Just give her...
314
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:38,027
She fell in the sink.
315
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:41,664
Cousin Emma! Cousin
Emma, are you all right?
316
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:42,799
Oh, cousin Emma.
317
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,333
Oh, Grady, I'm so sorry,
318
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:45,802
but it just slipped
319
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,536
right on through my hands. Oh.
320
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:48,938
You see, I get
these dizzy spells.
321
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,173
I know.
322
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:53,709
Now, just come on
over here and sit down.
323
00:13:53,733 --> 00:13:55,912
Just take it easy, now.
324
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,346
I'll just sit here
325
00:13:57,370 --> 00:13:59,348
till I get over my dizzy spell,
326
00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:00,950
and then I'm going
to fix you both
327
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,785
a nice breakfast.
328
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:05,654
Now, Emma, maybe you
really don't feel up to it,
329
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:08,191
so why don't you just let
me fix breakfast, all right?
330
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:09,959
Oh, no, no, no,
that wouldn't be fair,
331
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,560
and I don't want
to be no trouble,
332
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:12,995
and I said I'd do it,
333
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,964
but if you insist on
fixing the breakfast,
334
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,254
then right on.
335
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:22,371
Now, now, yeah, Emma,
now, Lamont and I can handle it.
336
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:23,772
Lamont will help me,
won't you, Lamont?
337
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:26,475
I'm going... Thanks
for helping me, Lamont.
338
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,077
Yeah, we'll take care of it.
339
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,278
Well, I'll let you do that,
340
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:30,880
but then you clear
out of the kitchen
341
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:33,415
so I can do the
dishes and the cleaning
342
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:34,851
and fix you a nice big supper.
343
00:14:34,875 --> 00:14:37,053
Yeah, well, Emma, you
see, I'm in charge here,
344
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:38,687
so I don't ever leave anyway.
345
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,156
Well, you'll just be in my way,
346
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,490
so you just clear out
347
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:42,959
after you're finished
the breakfast.
348
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:46,495
But, Emma... No
"buts." Just out.
349
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:48,297
Where are you going now, Emma?
350
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:52,501
Going back to my bedroom
until breakfast is ready.
351
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:56,339
I want to be good and
rested for my day's work.
352
00:14:56,363 --> 00:15:00,343
Call me... Call
me when it's ready.
353
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,879
You want to know what I think?
354
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:05,314
I think your cousin
Emma is a goldbrick.
355
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,083
Oh, no, don't say that.
356
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,886
She's just got to get
used to the place, that's all.
357
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,620
She's not going to
be here that long.
358
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:13,289
The only good thing
about this whole mess
359
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,624
is that you get a chance to
go out on the truck with me.
360
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:19,962
Oh, now, I can't lift
no heavy stuff, now,
361
00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:21,898
so don't expect too much.
362
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:24,000
Mm-hmm. You and Cousin
Emma, y'all can't lift nothing,
363
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:26,102
but you sure know
how to throw it around.
364
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:30,339
Yeah, I feel sorry for her.
365
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:31,974
That's what happens
366
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:35,644
when they go through the change.
367
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,046
You mean the change of life?
368
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:40,305
No, changing from
Chicago to Los Angeles.
369
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,152
I'm telling you, Grady Wilson,
370
00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:45,021
if your cousin Emma
don't have no supper ready,
371
00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:46,755
I'm personally
going to go in there...
372
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,991
Ta ta ta.
373
00:15:49,015 --> 00:15:52,661
I could smell our
supper out here.
374
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:56,432
Mm, do you smell
those pinto beans?
375
00:15:56,456 --> 00:16:00,236
Yes, but they're coming
from Julio's house.
376
00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,538
I'm telling you, if she
don't have no supper ready,
377
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,408
I'm not going to put
up with this, because...
378
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:07,176
Uh-huh.
379
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,710
She's not in the kitchen.
380
00:16:08,734 --> 00:16:10,112
You know what I think?
381
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,747
I think she's upstairs in bed.
382
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,782
I'll bet you she spent
the whole day in bed.
383
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:17,820
Oh, no, Emma wouldn't
do anything like that.
384
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,755
Emma!
385
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,023
Emma?
386
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:24,349
Yeah? I'll be right there.
387
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:27,296
Well?
388
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,631
Is your cousin Emma a
goldbrick, or is she a goldbrick?
389
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,899
I knew it.
390
00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,101
I knew it the first day
391
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,369
she was going to be trouble.
392
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:36,305
I wonder if she's really sick.
393
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,274
Come on, Grady, you're
not buying all of this.
394
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,708
You don't believe
she's stringing us along?
395
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,344
Well, you know,
older women like that
396
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:42,979
have things wrong with them.
397
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,835
Maybe she's got a gallbladder.
398
00:16:46,072 --> 00:16:51,053
She's got them
both, gall and bladder.
399
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:52,921
But mostly she's got gall.
400
00:16:52,945 --> 00:16:54,923
I want her out of this
house today, Grady Wilson.
401
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:56,881
You got that? Today!
402
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:02,398
Hi, Grady. Hi, Lamont.
403
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,867
I'm so sorry.
404
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:09,472
I would have had supper ready...
405
00:17:09,496 --> 00:17:11,874
but I began feeling bad.
406
00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:13,876
Was it another dizzy spell?
407
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:19,448
No, I was putting on my
dress, and my hip went out,
408
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:23,152
and now I'm walking crooked.
409
00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:25,187
Oh, but I'll be fine
in the morning.
410
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:29,425
I'm going to fix you
a nice big breakfast.
411
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:32,261
Do you like pancakes
and strawberry syrup?
412
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:33,762
Emma, uh, look.
413
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:36,098
You don't have
to worry about us.
414
00:17:36,122 --> 00:17:37,566
As a matter of fact,
415
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,402
why don't you just
sit down over here
416
00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:42,971
and just take it easy,
417
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:45,007
and we'll get supper ready.
418
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:47,543
Are you sure?
419
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,211
Yeah, I'm sure, Emma.
420
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,348
Well, I'd do it, but
I'm still a little dizzy,
421
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,783
and the room is spinning around.
422
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:57,786
Never mind. Just
take it it easy, Emma.
423
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:59,455
Lamont... Get in the kitchen!
424
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:02,391
In the kitchen! Just
get in the kitchen!
425
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,892
Grady, you...
426
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,561
Don't worry about a thing, now.
427
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,063
Just hush.
428
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,630
Now, I didn't see it at first,
429
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:11,434
but now I see it. I see it all.
430
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:14,703
Well, I sure wish
you'd show it to me.
431
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:18,541
Well, now, you
see, she's a relative,
432
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:21,277
so I've got to
be a little subtle.
433
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:24,813
I have to sort of ease into it.
434
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:25,948
Well, why don't you ease
435
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,450
on out into the living room
436
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:32,555
and tell Emma to ease
the hell out of here?
437
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:36,225
Well, no, that's
not subtle enough.
438
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:38,149
I've got another idea.
439
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,730
I'm sorry I can't help you.
440
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,099
Oh, but you just wait
441
00:18:43,123 --> 00:18:45,101
and see the big breakfast
I'm going to fix you
442
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:46,125
in the morning.
443
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:51,240
Well, your hip seems to
be okay now, Cousin Emma.
444
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:56,579
Well, I... I can sit straight,
but I walk crooked.
445
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,280
Uh, Cousin Emma,
446
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:00,282
Lamont and I were
in the kitchen there
447
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:01,517
trying to figure out
448
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:03,586
what we were going
to have for supper.
449
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:06,155
Now, how would you
like fried chicken wings
450
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:07,189
and Rice-A-Roni?
451
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:08,957
Oh, that sounds fine.
452
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,494
Or maybe you'd
like to go Italian?
453
00:19:11,518 --> 00:19:13,962
Veal parmigiana
and Spaghetti-Os?
454
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,897
That sounds good.
455
00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:17,933
Uh, let's see. What else...
456
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,435
Hey, Grady, what's
the matter with you?
457
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:22,605
I don't know, Lamont,
but I think I've got it.
458
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,706
I think it was being
out on the truck again.
459
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:28,010
Oh, no! Not again.
That's twice this month.
460
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:30,734
Lamont, I'm sure I've got it.
461
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,418
Got what? What have you got?
462
00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:39,843
It's the... It's the...
463
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,994
It's the...
464
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:49,820
It's the Junkman's Itch
or the Hong Kong Hives.
465
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,638
Yeah, and if you've got it,
466
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:57,939
that means I've got it too.
467
00:19:57,963 --> 00:19:59,975
What is the Hong Kong Hives?
468
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:04,146
Well, it's a...
It's a... It's a...
469
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:07,049
It's a disease that
you get, Emma,
470
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,517
from working around a junkyard,
471
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:10,152
and it's very contagious.
472
00:20:10,176 --> 00:20:11,654
Very contagious.
473
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:13,355
But you don't have to worry,
474
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:16,458
as long as you don't touch
anything that we touch.
475
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,694
You see...
476
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:22,431
You see these... These hives
breaking out on my arm here?
477
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:23,899
Oh, I touched her!
478
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:27,503
Crazy fool!
479
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:30,372
Oh, my God. What do I do now?
480
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,007
Well, you've got
to do what we do.
481
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:34,042
You've got to take
a hot vinegar bath
482
00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,413
and scrub yourself all
over with Brillo pads.
483
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:39,748
I'm going upstairs
and start mine now.
484
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,450
Yeah, hey, Lamont,
when you're through,
485
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:43,185
run the tub for me!
486
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:45,387
Emma, you can take
one after I get through.
487
00:20:45,411 --> 00:20:50,781
Yours haven't
started to spread yet.
488
00:20:55,788 --> 00:20:57,299
Hey, hey, that was
pretty good, Grady.
489
00:20:57,323 --> 00:20:58,701
Do you think she went for it?
490
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:00,703
I don't know, but we'll
know in a few minutes.
491
00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:02,504
I think I hear her
in your room now.
492
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:04,306
Well, I hope she's
going in there to pack.
493
00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:06,141
Yeah, I don't know what
she's doing, but she...
494
00:21:06,165 --> 00:21:08,844
Shh. I hear her now. I hear her.
495
00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:11,614
Now she's sounds like
she's running downstairs.
496
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:13,415
Did you hear the front
door open and close?
497
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,351
No, it sounds like she's
going in the kitchen.
498
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,453
Oh, oh, Lamont, you know what?
499
00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:18,654
Now, if she's a true Wilson,
500
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:20,656
she might just be
coming through in a pinch.
501
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,990
What?
502
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:23,459
You know, some
people are like that.
503
00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:25,794
They can't get going
unless there's a crisis.
504
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:28,886
You know, like Nixon. You
see what he's doing now?
505
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:34,002
Let's get downstairs
506
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:35,437
and see if she's in the kitchen.
507
00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:36,461
Okay.
508
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,563
Emma?
509
00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:43,334
Emma?
510
00:21:45,871 --> 00:21:48,651
She's gone!
511
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:50,018
Hey, her bag's not out here.
512
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,520
She must be gone.
513
00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:53,021
I've got to hand it to you.
514
00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:54,156
We did it.
515
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:55,491
Yeah.
516
00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:57,693
Well, I come up with a
goodie every now and then.
517
00:21:57,717 --> 00:21:59,828
Put her there, Grady. Okay.
518
00:21:59,852 --> 00:22:01,497
Well, now we can
have our supper.
519
00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:02,498
Good idea.
520
00:22:02,522 --> 00:22:04,132
Have ourselves some
fried chicken wings
521
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:05,133
and Rice-A-Roni...
522
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:07,603
Rice-A-Roni, fried
chicken wings.
523
00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:09,638
Hey, the fried chicken wings
524
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,941
and Rice-A-Roni, it's gone.
525
00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:15,377
I think she took
the chicken wings
526
00:22:15,401 --> 00:22:16,679
and Rice-A-Roni.
527
00:22:16,703 --> 00:22:17,813
She did what?
528
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:18,814
Yeah.
529
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:19,815
Well, what the heck, Grady?
530
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:20,982
Look, man, it was worth it.
531
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:22,384
At least we got rid of her.
532
00:22:22,408 --> 00:22:23,452
Yeah. That's right.
533
00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:25,321
What's the matter
with you, Grady?
534
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,122
I don't know, but
I'm beginning to itch.
535
00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:29,325
Well...
536
00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:32,027
Well, stop, because
you're making me itch.
537
00:22:32,051 --> 00:22:34,330
You think maybe
we really got it?
538
00:22:34,354 --> 00:22:35,464
Got what?
539
00:22:35,488 --> 00:22:36,532
The Junkman's Itch.
540
00:22:36,556 --> 00:22:37,999
Grady, we made that up, man.
541
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:39,501
That don't exist.
542
00:22:39,525 --> 00:22:40,502
Where are you going?
543
00:22:40,526 --> 00:22:41,737
Upstairs to take a bath!
544
00:22:41,761 --> 00:22:43,605
Hang on!
545
00:22:43,629 --> 00:22:45,396
Let me go first!
546
00:22:54,306 --> 00:22:57,018
I'll get that. I'll get it.
547
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,620
Who is it, Lamont?
548
00:22:58,644 --> 00:22:59,855
Are you expecting somebody?
549
00:22:59,879 --> 00:23:01,256
As a matter of fact, I am.
550
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:02,891
Why don't you go on
back there in the kitchen
551
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:03,959
and finish washing dishes?
552
00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:05,594
That is what you
was doing, wasn't it?
553
00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:08,063
Yeah, yeah, but who's
at the door, Lamont?
554
00:23:08,087 --> 00:23:09,965
Oh, hi, sugar.
You're right on time.
555
00:23:09,989 --> 00:23:11,567
Hello.
556
00:23:11,591 --> 00:23:12,968
Who's that, Lamont?
557
00:23:12,992 --> 00:23:15,904
Oh, I'm sorry, Grady.
This is my cousin.
558
00:23:15,928 --> 00:23:20,075
Cousin Lorraine...
and Cousin Lorraine
559
00:23:20,099 --> 00:23:22,077
is going to be staying
with us for a while,
560
00:23:22,101 --> 00:23:23,379
right, Cousin Lorraine?
561
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:24,847
Anything you say, baby.
562
00:23:24,871 --> 00:23:26,648
If you can have a
cousin stay with you,
563
00:23:26,672 --> 00:23:28,016
then so can I.
564
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:31,186
Well, can I talk to
you for a minute?
565
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:34,022
Oh, sure. Excuse
me, Cousin Lorraine.
566
00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:36,224
You know, I thought we
had learned our lesson
567
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:37,559
from that.
568
00:23:37,583 --> 00:23:39,828
You know, that experience
we had with Cousin Emma,
569
00:23:39,852 --> 00:23:41,463
and she couldn't do anything.
570
00:23:41,487 --> 00:23:43,399
Now, maybe it'll happen again.
571
00:23:43,423 --> 00:23:45,267
Oh, no chance, Grady. No.
572
00:23:45,291 --> 00:23:47,168
Well, why not?
573
00:23:47,192 --> 00:23:49,894
Show him what you do
best, Cousin Lorraine.
574
00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:02,684
Whoa.
575
00:24:02,708 --> 00:24:04,887
Well, why don't you go on
back in the kitchen, Grady?
576
00:24:04,911 --> 00:24:07,355
Wait a minute, now.
That ain't no cousin.
577
00:24:07,379 --> 00:24:09,958
You... You can't fool me.
578
00:24:09,982 --> 00:24:11,960
I know a cousin when I see one,
579
00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:14,384
and that ain't no cousin.
580
00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:18,366
If that's the way
it's going to be,
581
00:24:18,390 --> 00:24:21,325
I want a cousin too!
582
00:24:35,675 --> 00:24:37,419
Sanford and Son
is recorded on tape
583
00:24:37,443 --> 00:24:40,010
before a live studio audience.
41119
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