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1
00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:07,076
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
THROW ME SOME OF THAT SUNSCREEN.
2
00:00:07,078 --> 00:00:09,478
[ SIGHS ]
3
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:12,140
THIS WAS
A BRAND-NEW BOTTLE.
4
00:00:12,143 --> 00:00:13,613
YEAH, THANKS
FOR PICKING THAT UP, JACK.
5
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:15,324
THAT STUFF'S EXPENSIVE.
6
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:16,416
NOT COOL, MAN.
7
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:18,187
I NEED THE SUNSCREEN
MORE THAN YOU D...
8
00:00:20,051 --> 00:00:21,451
MORE THAN WHO?
NEVER MIND.
9
00:00:21,452 --> 00:00:23,452
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
PLEASE CONTINUE.
10
00:00:23,454 --> 00:00:25,104
I AM FASCINATED.
11
00:00:26,197 --> 00:00:27,797
WHY DON'T
I NEED SUNSCREEN?
12
00:00:27,798 --> 00:00:30,028
UH,
YOU DO NEED SUNSCREEN.
13
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,660
ALL OF GOD'S CHILDREN
NEED SUNSCREEN.
14
00:00:31,662 --> 00:00:33,162
WE'RE ALL OF THE SAME,
YOU KNOW...
15
00:00:33,164 --> 00:00:34,674
BUT I -- INCLUDING ME.
THAT'S MY POINT.
16
00:00:34,665 --> 00:00:36,065
I NEEDED IT,
AND YOU DIDN'T CARE
17
00:00:36,067 --> 00:00:37,307
BECAUSE ALL DARREN
CARES ABOUT IS DARREN.
18
00:00:37,308 --> 00:00:38,708
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
19
00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:40,039
THAT PHONE HAS RUNG LIKE THREE
TIMES IN THE LAST FIVE MINUTES.
20
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,210
YOU OWE SOMEONE MONEY?
IT'S JUST SOME CRAZY GIRL
21
00:00:42,213 --> 00:00:43,243
WHO CAN'T
GET ENOUGH OF ME.
22
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,454
I MEAN, NONE OF THEM CAN,
23
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:47,075
BUT THIS GIRL
DOESN'T UNDERSTAND BOUNDARIES.
24
00:00:47,078 --> 00:00:48,178
DUDE, THAT'S MY THERMOS.
25
00:00:48,179 --> 00:00:51,179
MM-HMM.
I'M SAVING MINE FOR LATER.
26
00:00:51,182 --> 00:00:55,492
YOU GOT TO HYDRATE.
THAT SUN IS DANGEROUS.
27
00:00:57,488 --> 00:00:59,058
Jack: I'M A SMALL-TOWN GUY
28
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,629
WHO TOOK OVER
HIS DAD'S FIX-IT BUSINESS
29
00:01:01,632 --> 00:01:03,632
AFTER HE DECIDED TO RETIRE.
30
00:01:03,634 --> 00:01:06,074
MY AUNT TAKES CARE OF HIM,
WHETHER HE LIKES IT OR NOT.
31
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,066
HER SON IS WEIRD.
32
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,437
NOW I'M THE BOSS.
33
00:01:08,439 --> 00:01:10,069
DAD'S ASSISTANT WORKS FOR ME,
SORT OF.
34
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,070
HIS SISTER LIKES ME, I THINK.
35
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,112
BEING IN CHARGE IS TOUGH,
BUT NOTHING I CAN'T HANDLE.
36
00:01:15,106 --> 00:01:16,546
[ CRASH ]
I'LL FIX THAT!
37
00:01:16,547 --> 00:01:18,847
[ TERRY SCREAMS ]
38
00:01:23,854 --> 00:01:26,824
TONY...
39
00:01:26,817 --> 00:01:28,687
YOU SAID
YOU WERE GONNA FIX THE SHOWER.
40
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:31,119
NOT NOW.
I'M ENJOYING MY FIBER CRAP.
41
00:01:31,122 --> 00:01:32,362
BUT THE WATER IS SCALDING
42
00:01:32,363 --> 00:01:35,103
AND I HAVE PASSION FRUIT SHAMPOO
IN MY EYES.
43
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,195
DID YOU TRY ADDING SOME COLD?
THERE'S A KNOB FOR THAT.
44
00:01:37,198 --> 00:01:39,668
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE GIVEN
UP A LOT TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.
45
00:01:39,670 --> 00:01:42,130
I THINK I DESERVE A SHOWER
YOU CAN'T MAKE SPAGHETTI IN.
46
00:01:42,133 --> 00:01:43,133
I TOLD YOU, I'LL FIX IT.
47
00:01:43,134 --> 00:01:44,484
WHEN?
WHEN I'M READY.
48
00:01:44,475 --> 00:01:45,635
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M HAPPY TO --
49
00:01:45,636 --> 00:01:47,106
NO, NO, NO!
NO, NO, NO!
50
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,777
[ CHUCKLES ]
51
00:01:48,779 --> 00:01:53,679
I LIVE IN A HOUSE WITH HANDYMEN
AND NOTHING WORKS RIGHT.
52
00:01:53,684 --> 00:01:55,154
STUFF WORKS FINE.
53
00:01:55,146 --> 00:01:56,586
YEAH?
LET ME GET YOU GUYS A FORK.
54
00:01:56,587 --> 00:01:58,387
NEED A FORK?
I'M GONNA GET YOU A FORK.
55
00:02:01,492 --> 00:02:04,122
WELL, YOU GOT TO HOLD THE
BOTTOM. ANY IDIOT KNOWS THAT.
56
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,264
OH, THERE'S
THE GRAPEFRUIT SPOON.
57
00:02:06,257 --> 00:02:09,657
FIX. THE. SHOWER.
58
00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:13,430
WHEN. I'M. READY.
59
00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:18,436
HEY, STITCH.
60
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:21,169
[ SPEAKING MANDARIN ]
61
00:02:21,172 --> 00:02:23,712
OH, THAT'S AWESOME!
YOU'RE SPEAKING CHINESE!
62
00:02:23,714 --> 00:02:25,284
MANDARIN,
YOU IGNORANT AMERICAN DOG.
63
00:02:25,276 --> 00:02:28,346
SORRY, I MEANT TO SAY
THAT SECOND PART IN MANDARIN.
64
00:02:28,349 --> 00:02:30,679
OKAY, SO,
WHAT MADE YOU CHOOSE MANDARIN?
65
00:02:30,681 --> 00:02:32,321
IT'S THE LANGUAGE
OF THE FUTURE.
66
00:02:32,323 --> 00:02:34,463
OH, I THOUGHT THAT WAS KLINGON.
[ CHUCKLES ]
67
00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:37,285
[ CHUCKLES ] IT'S A GOOD THING
THAT YOU'RE PRETTY.
68
00:02:37,288 --> 00:02:39,458
YEAH, I'M GIVING
THE VALEDICTORIAN SPEECH
69
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,630
FOR MY COMMUNITY-COLLEGE
GRADUATION,
70
00:02:41,632 --> 00:02:43,292
SO I FIGURED IT WOULD BE FUN
71
00:02:43,294 --> 00:02:45,374
IF I DID IT
IN THE LANGUAGE THAT I LEARNED.
72
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:48,436
VALEDICT-- YOU DIDN'T EVEN
TELL ANYBODY YOU'RE GRADUATING.
73
00:02:48,439 --> 00:02:49,599
IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.
74
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:50,640
I MEAN, THERE'S LIKE
12 PEOPLE IN MY CLASS.
75
00:02:50,641 --> 00:02:51,641
NOT A BIG DEAL?
THAT'S HUGE!
76
00:02:51,642 --> 00:02:53,372
IF I WOULD HAVE
EVER GRADUATED
77
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:55,754
FROM THE CULINARY INSTITUTE
OR CLOWN COLLEGE
78
00:02:55,746 --> 00:02:57,506
OR ANY OF THE OTHER PROGRAMS
THAT I STARTED,
79
00:02:57,508 --> 00:02:58,948
I WOULD HAVE MADE
A HUGE DEAL OUT OF IT.
80
00:02:58,949 --> 00:03:01,349
DID YOU JUST TRY TO
SNEAK CLOWN COLLEGE PAST ME?
81
00:03:01,352 --> 00:03:04,622
I GOT REALLY CLAUSTROPHOBIC
IN THOSE LITTLE CARS.
82
00:03:04,615 --> 00:03:05,915
NO, MY POINT IS,
THIS IS A HUGE DEAL, ALL RIGHT?
83
00:03:05,916 --> 00:03:07,616
WE NEED TO MAKE THIS DAY
REALLY SPECIAL FOR YOU.
84
00:03:07,618 --> 00:03:09,218
AW!
CAN WE HAVE A UNICYCLE
85
00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:11,260
AND AN ENDLESS
RAINBOW HANDKERCHIEF?
86
00:03:11,262 --> 00:03:12,822
OKAY,
I'M SORRY I SHARED.
87
00:03:13,864 --> 00:03:15,374
YOUR SISTER'S GRADUATION
IS COMING UP.
88
00:03:15,366 --> 00:03:16,966
I WANT TO GET HER
SOMETHING REALLY NICE.
89
00:03:16,967 --> 00:03:18,327
WHAT DO YOU THINK
SHE MIGHT LIKE?
90
00:03:18,329 --> 00:03:20,399
I DON'T KNOW.
91
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:21,731
COME ON, YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOUR SISTER MIGHT WANT?
92
00:03:21,732 --> 00:03:23,902
OH! SHE WANTS AN iPad.
93
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,884
NO, YOU WANT AN iPad.
94
00:03:25,876 --> 00:03:26,976
I DO, BUT IN A PINCH,
95
00:03:26,977 --> 00:03:28,737
I COULD ALWAYS
BORROW THE ONE YOU GET HER.
96
00:03:28,739 --> 00:03:30,509
I'M SERIOUS. I WANT TO
DO SOMETHING REALLY
MEMORABLE FOR HER.
97
00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:32,581
WELL, I DON'T THINK SHE'D FORGET
IF YOU GOT HER BROTHER AN iPad.
98
00:03:32,583 --> 00:03:33,843
PLEASE? STOP?
99
00:03:33,844 --> 00:03:38,594
WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?
YOU GOT A THING FOR MY SISTER?
100
00:03:38,589 --> 00:03:40,919
[ Chuckling ] NO!
OH, MY GOD.
101
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,921
ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT N--
NO!
102
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,463
YOU'RE SILLY.
YOU'RE BEING A SILLY BEAN.
103
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,629
GET DOWN!
104
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:51,801
WHAT? WHAT, WHAT?
105
00:03:51,802 --> 00:03:54,472
IT'S CLARISSA!
THE GIRL FROM THE PHONE!
106
00:03:54,465 --> 00:03:56,535
SHE'S GOT A BASKET.
107
00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,967
OOH, COOKIES!
108
00:03:58,969 --> 00:04:00,439
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
109
00:04:05,776 --> 00:04:06,976
[ CLATTERING ]
110
00:04:06,977 --> 00:04:08,617
GEEZ.
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
111
00:04:08,619 --> 00:04:09,949
KIND OF
CAME OUT OF NOWHERE THERE.
112
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,950
UM,
IS DARREN WORKING TODAY?
113
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:13,252
DARREN?
YEAH.
114
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,763
OH, DARREN! I KNOW DARREN.
YEAH, IT'S HIS DAY OFF.
115
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,026
YEAH,
HE'LL BE BACK TOMORROW.
116
00:04:18,028 --> 00:04:20,958
OR NEVER.
NEVER?
117
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,991
NEVER TOMORROW,
NEVER EVER...EVER.
118
00:04:23,994 --> 00:04:25,904
SO, BUT YOU CAN LEAVE A MESSAGE
FOR HIM, OR THOSE COOKIES.
119
00:04:25,896 --> 00:04:28,536
OKAY, WELL, JUST TELL HIM
THAT CLARISSA CAME BY
120
00:04:28,539 --> 00:04:30,599
AND THAT I HOPE
HE ENJOYS THE COOKIES.
121
00:04:30,601 --> 00:04:31,941
ALL RIGHT, WE WILL.
WE WILL.
122
00:04:31,942 --> 00:04:35,452
OKAY.
123
00:04:35,446 --> 00:04:37,046
BYE.
BYE.
124
00:04:37,047 --> 00:04:38,847
DAMN IT, JACK!
125
00:04:38,849 --> 00:04:42,449
[ GASPS ]
126
00:04:42,453 --> 00:04:44,423
SEE? THIS IS WHY
127
00:04:44,415 --> 00:04:46,415
I TOLD YOU TO PARK FARTHER AWAY
FROM THE JOB SITES.
128
00:04:46,417 --> 00:04:48,417
THAT VAN
IS LIKE A FREAK MAGNET!
129
00:04:48,419 --> 00:04:49,619
WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?
130
00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:50,960
NOTHING!
131
00:04:50,961 --> 00:04:51,991
WE WENT OUT A FEW TIMES,
132
00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:53,662
AND SHE'S BEEN
STALKING ME EVER SINCE.
133
00:04:53,664 --> 00:04:55,004
SHE'S EVERYWHERE, JACK --
134
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:59,495
MY HOME, THE GROCERY STORE,
MY DERMATOLOGIST.
135
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,570
THAT IS SACRED GROUND,
JACK.
136
00:05:01,572 --> 00:05:03,902
THAT IS CREEPY.
CRAZY CREEPY!
137
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,884
HONESTLY, YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW LUCKY YOU ARE
138
00:05:05,876 --> 00:05:07,676
NOT BEING ATTRACTIVE
TO WOMEN.
139
00:05:11,782 --> 00:05:14,792
SERIOUSLY?!
140
00:05:14,785 --> 00:05:17,085
YOU'LL PUT IN A WHOLE NEW SHOWER
FOR SOME DOLLS
141
00:05:17,087 --> 00:05:21,447
BUT YOU CAN'T FIX ONE LOUSY KNOB
ON A REAL PERSON'S SHOWER?
142
00:05:21,452 --> 00:05:24,762
OKAY, FIRST,
THERE ARE NO DOLLS.
143
00:05:24,755 --> 00:05:29,425
THIS IS A TO-SCALE MINIATURE
REPLICA OF AN ALPINE CHALET
144
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,400
THAT NEEDS
A MAJOR RESTORATION.
145
00:05:31,402 --> 00:05:32,902
OH, REALLY? CAN I SEE?
THAT'S SO CUTE.
146
00:05:32,903 --> 00:05:34,713
IT'S MINE NOW.
TERRY, GIVE IT BACK.
147
00:05:34,705 --> 00:05:36,865
NO! NOT UNTIL
YOU FIX THE SHOWER!
148
00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:39,767
WILL YOU QUIT NAGGING ME?
ASKING IS NOT NAGGING.
149
00:05:39,770 --> 00:05:41,610
NOW YOU'RE NAGGING ME
ABOUT WHAT NAGGING MEANS.
150
00:05:41,612 --> 00:05:43,612
YEAH, I AM, AND I WILL KEEP ON
NAGGING TILL YOU FIX THE SHOWER.
HEY, CUZ.
151
00:05:43,614 --> 00:05:45,084
GEEZ,
ARE THEY STILL GOING AT IT?
152
00:05:45,075 --> 00:05:47,075
YEP.
WHENEVER THIS HAPPENS,
153
00:05:47,077 --> 00:05:49,447
I JUST MUFFLE MY EARS AND TRY TO
START EATING LOUD FOODS.
154
00:05:49,450 --> 00:05:51,550
BANANA CHIP?
155
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,682
I'M GOOD.
SHOULD I TRY TO TALK TO THEM?
156
00:05:53,684 --> 00:05:55,394
I WOULDN'T. WHEN THEY HAVE
ONE OF THESE BLOWUPS,
157
00:05:55,386 --> 00:05:57,056
IT'S BEST TO JUST STAY
OUT OF THE LINE OF FIRE.
158
00:05:57,057 --> 00:06:00,787
I NEED YOU TO FIX THE SHOWER.
I HAVE HAIR.
159
00:06:00,791 --> 00:06:02,961
[ LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY ]
HEY, YOU WANT A SHOWER?
160
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:04,903
GET YOUR OWN PLACE
AND USE YOUR OWN SHOWER.
161
00:06:04,895 --> 00:06:06,095
OKAY, HOW ABOUT THAT?
162
00:06:06,096 --> 00:06:08,596
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
163
00:06:08,599 --> 00:06:10,469
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
164
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:13,401
HEY, STITCH.
IT'S NOT CLARISSA.
IT'S JUST JACK.
165
00:06:15,846 --> 00:06:18,606
I HAVE NOT SEEN HER
IN 24 HOURS.
166
00:06:18,609 --> 00:06:20,479
SHE MUST BE
PLANNING SOMETHING BIG.
167
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:21,881
I HAD A PLAN FOR YOU TODAY --
WORK.
168
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,482
I NEEDED YOU
AT THE PETERSONS.
169
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:24,994
THAT GAZEBO
IS NOT A ONE-MAN JOB.
170
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:25,985
WELL, IF IT MAKES YOU
FEEL ANY BETTER,
171
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,086
I WOULDN'T HAVE HELPED MUCH
IF I WAS THERE.
172
00:06:28,959 --> 00:06:30,089
STITCH.
173
00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:34,770
UM, I WANTED TO GET YOU
A NICE SURPRISE FOR GRADUATION,
174
00:06:34,765 --> 00:06:37,595
AND I COULD NOT
FIGURE OUT ANYTHING,
175
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:39,498
AND YOUR BROTHER
WAS VERY UNHELPFUL.
176
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:42,430
iPad.
HOW MUCH CLEARER CAN I BE?
177
00:06:42,433 --> 00:06:44,983
JACK, I TOLD YOU,
IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
178
00:06:44,975 --> 00:06:48,805
AS LONG AS MY FAMILY IS THERE,
SUCH AS THEY ARE...
179
00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,779
THIS ISN'T YOUR WHOLE FAMILY,
THOUGH.
180
00:06:50,781 --> 00:06:51,881
WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOM?
IS SHE COMING?
181
00:06:51,882 --> 00:06:54,142
[ SIGHS ] I REALLY WISH
THAT SHE COULD, BUT --
182
00:06:54,144 --> 00:06:56,024
MOM HASN'T BEEN AROUND
FOR A WHILE, SO...
183
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,886
YEAH, MOM'S KIND OF A CRUSADER,
YOU KNOW?
184
00:06:57,888 --> 00:07:01,188
SHE'S ALWAYS RUNNING AROUND,
SAVING THE WORLD.
THAT'S RIGHT, I REMEMBER.
185
00:07:01,191 --> 00:07:05,061
SHE MISSED YOUR SWEET 16 'CAUSE
SHE WAS ON A BOAT SAVING WHALES.
186
00:07:05,055 --> 00:07:07,695
OR SHE WAS IN WALES
SAVING A BOAT?
187
00:07:07,698 --> 00:07:08,958
BUT SHE'S ALWAYS
THINKING ABOUT ME.
188
00:07:08,959 --> 00:07:13,759
SHE SENDS ME THESE LITTLE GIFTS
FROM WHEREVER SHE GOES.
189
00:07:13,764 --> 00:07:15,074
IS THERE ANY WAY
WE CAN GET IN TOUCH WITH HER?
190
00:07:15,065 --> 00:07:16,605
NOT WITHOUT A DOG SLED.
191
00:07:16,607 --> 00:07:18,907
SHE'S IN GREENLAND
TRACKING OZONE DEPLETION.
192
00:07:18,909 --> 00:07:20,439
THERE'S A HOLE IN THE SKY,
JACK.
193
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,940
THAT'S WHY
YOU SHOULD WEAR SUNSCREEN.
194
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,012
ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
THERE MUST BE SOME WAY --
195
00:07:24,014 --> 00:07:27,024
JACK, JUST DROP IT, OKAY?
STITCH FEELS BAD ENOUGH ALREADY.
196
00:07:27,017 --> 00:07:29,077
[ BELL JINGLES ]
WHO IS IT?!
197
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,951
IT'S AN OLD GUY
CARRYING A TOILET SEAT.
198
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,533
THAT DOESN'T SOUND
SUSPICIOUS TO YOU?
199
00:07:34,525 --> 00:07:36,655
CLARISSA IS NOT HERE!
GET UP!
200
00:07:38,729 --> 00:07:41,059
I CAN'T KEEP LIVING
LIKE THIS.
201
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,891
LAST NIGHT,
I WAS SO FREAKED OUT,
202
00:07:42,893 --> 00:07:46,143
I ACTUALLY SLEPT AT THE HOUSE
OF THE GIRL I SLEPT WITH!
203
00:07:46,136 --> 00:07:47,996
I'M IN SPIRITUAL
DISALIGNMENT, JACK.
204
00:07:47,998 --> 00:07:49,968
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
YOU REALIGN YOURSELF.
205
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:54,100
I'M GONNA GO
PAINT A LOPSIDED GAZEBO.
206
00:07:57,047 --> 00:07:59,907
HEY!
DID I JUST HEAR DARREN?
207
00:07:59,910 --> 00:08:01,510
DID YOU
JUST HEAR DARREN?!
208
00:08:01,512 --> 00:08:03,852
YOU SAID, CLARISSA?
209
00:08:03,854 --> 00:08:05,994
[ CLATTERING ]
DAMN IT!
210
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:09,956
[ GASPS ]
THERE HE IS!
211
00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,790
HEY, BABY!
212
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:13,992
JUST...
213
00:08:19,630 --> 00:08:21,530
I'LL JUST GET UP, JACK.
NO, I -- AH.
214
00:08:21,532 --> 00:08:22,832
OH, MY GOD, DARREN.
ARE YOU OKAY?
215
00:08:22,833 --> 00:08:25,183
LOOK, CLARISSA,
THIS HAS GOT TO STOP.
216
00:08:25,175 --> 00:08:28,675
LOOK, I KNOW I'M SEXY.
YOU KNOW I'M SEXY.
217
00:08:28,679 --> 00:08:32,209
I'M SEXY. BUT YOU NEED TO STOP
FOLLOWING ME EVERYWHERE.
218
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,892
[ SCOFFS ] OKAY.
I AM SO NOT FOLLOWING YOU.
219
00:08:34,885 --> 00:08:35,885
THIS IS A PLACE OF BUSINESS.
220
00:08:35,886 --> 00:08:38,586
I JUST CAME IN HERE
TO GET A FEW THINGS.
221
00:08:38,589 --> 00:08:43,189
HUH. ROPE AND DUCT TAPE.
WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?
222
00:08:43,193 --> 00:08:46,133
YOU KNOW, I AM REALLY GLAD
THAT WE RAN INTO EACH OTHER.
223
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:49,156
DO YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME TO
THE MAPLEPORT DINNER THEATER
224
00:08:49,159 --> 00:08:50,829
TO SEE
"PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS"?
225
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:51,901
I'M SORRY. I CAN'T.
226
00:08:51,902 --> 00:08:54,672
IT'S MY SISTER'S GRADUATION
TOMORROW, SO...
227
00:08:54,665 --> 00:08:55,965
OH! THAT'S SO GREAT!
IT'S TONIGHT.
228
00:08:55,966 --> 00:08:58,666
AHH. TONIGHT?
229
00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:01,310
YOU KNOW WHAT?
230
00:09:01,311 --> 00:09:03,911
FRIDAY NIGHTS ARE RESERVED
FOR ME AND THE J-BISCUIT.
231
00:09:03,914 --> 00:09:05,884
AWW, YEAH.
232
00:09:05,876 --> 00:09:07,076
YEAH.
233
00:09:07,077 --> 00:09:12,617
I NEVER MISS GOING OUT RAGING
WITH THE D-GRAVY.
234
00:09:12,623 --> 00:09:16,263
WELL, THAT'S A BUMMER.
ANOTHER TIME.
235
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,586
OKAY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
236
00:09:18,589 --> 00:09:20,759
AAH!
237
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:22,231
OKAY, SO WHAT BAR
DO YOU WANT TO GO TO?
238
00:09:22,232 --> 00:09:24,232
WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?
YOU DON'T KNOW ANY BARS.
239
00:09:24,234 --> 00:09:25,644
I'LL PICK ONE.
240
00:09:25,636 --> 00:09:26,936
I'M NOT GOING OUT
TONIGHT.
241
00:09:26,937 --> 00:09:28,937
I JUST TOLD MY STALKER
THAT WE GOING OUT.
242
00:09:28,939 --> 00:09:30,169
WE ARE GOING OUT.
243
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:33,570
WHY?
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THAT WOMAN
WEARING MY FACE, JACK!
244
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:40,247
OH, TONY, HEY.
WHY ARE YOU HOME SO EARLY?
245
00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:41,810
'CAUSE IT'S MY HOUSE,
246
00:09:41,812 --> 00:09:44,312
AND I DON'T HAVE TO
EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU.
247
00:09:44,314 --> 00:09:45,864
[ METAL CLANKS ]
248
00:09:45,856 --> 00:09:47,616
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
249
00:09:47,618 --> 00:09:48,958
WHATEVER IT WAS,
IT SOUNDS DANGEROUS.
250
00:09:48,959 --> 00:09:50,919
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY
GET OUT OF HERE.
251
00:09:50,921 --> 00:09:51,891
YOU DIDN'T.
252
00:09:52,963 --> 00:09:56,033
TONY --
253
00:09:56,026 --> 00:09:57,866
[ GASPS ]
254
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,229
CARL?
255
00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:01,930
TONY,
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK
256
00:10:01,932 --> 00:10:04,982
THE HELL IT ISN'T!
257
00:10:04,975 --> 00:10:07,975
THAT'S RIGHT. I ASKED CARL
TO COME OVER AND FIX IT.
258
00:10:07,978 --> 00:10:09,838
I ASKED HIM
EVEN THOUGH I KNEW
259
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,680
IT WOULD KILL YOU
TO SEE HIM HERE,
260
00:10:11,682 --> 00:10:13,312
WITH HIS HANDS
ALL OVER YOUR SHOWER.
261
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,753
AND GUESS WHAT.
I'D ASK HIM AGAIN.
262
00:10:15,746 --> 00:10:17,916
[ SCOFFS ]
263
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:20,788
I THOUGHT
YOU WERE MY FRIEND.
TONY, I --
264
00:10:20,791 --> 00:10:23,921
GET OUT.
BUT --
265
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,804
[ CLATTER ]
266
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,831
SO, YOU'RE SAYING
IN TODAY'S DAY AND AGE
267
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,673
THERE'S NO WAY OF GETTING AHOLD
OF YOUR MOTHER?
268
00:10:34,665 --> 00:10:36,305
LIKE --
LIKE A SATELLITE PHONE?
269
00:10:36,306 --> 00:10:39,306
JACK, JACK, JACK, JACK.
270
00:10:39,309 --> 00:10:40,939
I KNOW. I KNOW.
YOU WANT ME TO DROP IT.
271
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,271
NAH,
I WAS JUST ORDERING.
272
00:10:42,272 --> 00:10:45,682
THIS IS
WHAT WE CALL A D-BOMB.
273
00:10:45,676 --> 00:10:47,676
NO, NO, NO, NO.
274
00:10:47,678 --> 00:10:52,178
AND THESE TWO ARE FOR MANDY
AND MANDY'S ROOMMATE.
275
00:10:54,825 --> 00:10:56,425
[ LAUGHS ] CHEERS.
276
00:10:58,889 --> 00:11:00,289
[ LAUGHS ]
277
00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:01,690
WHOO!
278
00:11:01,692 --> 00:11:04,662
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
IT'S HOT AND LEATHERY.
279
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,904
THAT'S RIGHT.
UM, SO YOUR MOM, CAN WE --
280
00:11:07,898 --> 00:11:09,298
DUDE. SHUT UP.
281
00:11:09,299 --> 00:11:13,139
JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH,
AND LET IT DANCE IN YOUR THROAT.
282
00:11:13,143 --> 00:11:17,683
LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
283
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,177
AND MY LIVER JUST CRAMPED.
284
00:11:26,216 --> 00:11:27,756
HEY, TONY.
285
00:11:27,758 --> 00:11:29,318
[ PIPE SQUEAKS ]
286
00:11:29,319 --> 00:11:31,119
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?
287
00:11:31,121 --> 00:11:32,321
NOW IT DOESN'T WORK AT ALL.
288
00:11:32,322 --> 00:11:35,072
WELL, NOW YOU'LL BE FORCED
TO FIX THE SHOWER.
289
00:11:35,065 --> 00:11:36,965
YOU THINK
I CAN'T WAIT YOU OUT?
290
00:11:38,168 --> 00:11:42,098
I GOT
NOTHING TO BE CLEAN FOR.
291
00:11:45,005 --> 00:11:47,005
DAMN IT.
292
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,277
♪ RIDICULOUS ♪
293
00:11:48,278 --> 00:11:50,208
♪ ARE YOU READY FOR THIS,
YOU READY FOR THIS? ♪
294
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,740
AND WHY DON'T WE HANG OUT
MORE OFTEN?
295
00:11:52,743 --> 00:11:54,753
BECAUSE GENERALLY,
YOU'RE A DORK.
296
00:11:54,745 --> 00:11:55,945
OOH.
297
00:11:55,946 --> 00:11:57,786
GENERAL DORK
REPORTING FOR DUTY.
298
00:11:57,788 --> 00:12:00,388
I HAVE A GREAT SENSE OF
HUMOR ABOUT MYSELF. MANDY'S
ROOMMATE, CAN I KISS YOU?
299
00:12:00,390 --> 00:12:02,390
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
300
00:12:02,392 --> 00:12:05,402
I THINK THE CONSENSUS IS
YOU SPREAD ENOUGH JACK LOVE
301
00:12:05,395 --> 00:12:07,925
ON THIS SIDE
OF THE DANCE FLOOR.
302
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:11,498
I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST GO WORK
THE OTHER SIDE.
303
00:12:11,501 --> 00:12:12,961
[ Slurring ]
GREAT, 'CAUSE I --
304
00:12:12,963 --> 00:12:14,973
THEY HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN
MY FORWARD MOONWALK YET.
305
00:12:14,965 --> 00:12:16,805
♪ R-READY FOR THIS,
R-READY FOR THIS ♪
306
00:12:16,807 --> 00:12:17,837
♪ R-READY FOR THIS ♪
307
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:18,938
THAT'S JUST WALKING.
308
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:20,469
THEY DON'T KNOW THAT.
[ LAUGHS ]
309
00:12:20,470 --> 00:12:24,410
HEY, YOU EVER SEEN
A FORWARD MOONWALK?
310
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,446
OH, MY GOD.
311
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,747
[ GASPS ]
OH, MY GOD! J-BISCUIT!
312
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,748
[ LAUGHS ]
IS DARREN HERE?
313
00:12:31,822 --> 00:12:34,052
AW,
YOU JUST MISSED HIM.
314
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,125
OH,
THE ROPE AND DUCT TAPE?
315
00:12:37,127 --> 00:12:38,287
YEAH, NO, NO, NO,
THAT --
316
00:12:38,288 --> 00:12:39,958
I WAS JUST FIXING UP
AN OLD WINDSURFING BOARD
317
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,290
TO GIVE TO MY NEPHEW ELLIOT
FOR HIS BIRTHDAY.
318
00:12:42,292 --> 00:12:44,132
THAT'S REALLY SWEET.
319
00:12:44,134 --> 00:12:46,944
I DON'T THINK YOU SEEM
LIKE A STALKER AT ALL.
320
00:12:46,937 --> 00:12:48,937
WHAT?
YOU DON'T LIKE SOCCER
AT ALL?
321
00:12:48,939 --> 00:12:50,769
'CAUSE YOU'RE TOO BUSY
WINDSURFING?
322
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:52,040
AND I LIKE YOU, BY THE WAY.
YOU'RE NICE.
323
00:12:52,042 --> 00:12:54,772
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT DARREN'S PROBLEM IS.
I KNOW!
324
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,414
THINGS WERE GOING SO GREAT,
AND THEN I ASKED HIM
325
00:12:56,406 --> 00:12:57,976
IF HE WANTED TO GO AWAY
FOR THE WEEKEND,
326
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,778
AND THEN HE GOT ALL WEIRD.
327
00:13:02,212 --> 00:13:05,892
I THINK I KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM.
328
00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:07,156
IT'S ALL GOOD
WHEN IT'S ABOUT HIM.
329
00:13:07,157 --> 00:13:09,487
BUT WHEN YOU ASK
FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN,
330
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,559
SUDDENLY
YOU'RE A PSYCHOPATH.
331
00:13:11,561 --> 00:13:13,921
WHAT?
CYCLE PATH.
332
00:13:13,924 --> 00:13:17,074
YOU KNOW, WE NEED A CYCLE PATH
IN THIS TOWN -- FOR BICYCLES.
333
00:13:17,067 --> 00:13:19,997
AND I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING
ABOUT IT. RIGHT NOW.
334
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:23,470
UM...
335
00:13:24,935 --> 00:13:26,875
DID YOU LOSE HER?
GEEZ!
336
00:13:26,877 --> 00:13:28,377
YEAH, YOU'D LIKE THAT,
WOULDN'T YOU?
337
00:13:28,378 --> 00:13:30,908
DARREN, I KNOW
WHY YOU'RE SO SELF-ABSORBED.
338
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,381
IT'S 'CAUSE YOUR MOM
WASN'T AROUND A LOT
339
00:13:32,382 --> 00:13:33,882
WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE,
HUH?
340
00:13:33,884 --> 00:13:35,894
AND THAT HURT,
SO YOU DECIDED
341
00:13:35,886 --> 00:13:37,346
YOU NEVER
WANTED TO BE HURT AGAIN
342
00:13:37,347 --> 00:13:40,887
AND DECIDED TO MAKE IT
ALL ABOUT DARREN.
343
00:13:40,891 --> 00:13:42,891
HUH?
344
00:13:42,893 --> 00:13:43,923
HUH?
345
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:48,834
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT.
346
00:13:51,001 --> 00:13:52,961
STRUCK A NERVE.
347
00:13:52,963 --> 00:13:54,403
HEY,
I HAVE DARREN'S PHONE.
348
00:13:54,404 --> 00:13:56,174
CAN YOU TELL HIM
I PUT MY DIGITS IN?
349
00:13:56,166 --> 00:13:58,136
OH, NO, HE WON'T CALL YOU
BECAUSE HE'S SELF-ABSORBED.
350
00:13:59,369 --> 00:14:00,969
YOU WANT MY DIGITS,
THOUGH, OR...?
351
00:14:00,971 --> 00:14:03,071
YEAH,
PUT THEM IN HERE.
352
00:14:03,073 --> 00:14:04,573
ALL RIGHT.
[ LAUGHS ]
353
00:14:04,574 --> 00:14:05,924
[ LAUGHS ] AWESOME.
354
00:14:05,916 --> 00:14:08,976
OH! THIS IS DARREN'S PHONE.
[ Laughing ] GIRLS ARE DUMB.
355
00:14:08,979 --> 00:14:11,979
OH, GOSH, LOOK
AT ALL THESE GIRLS' NUMBERS.
356
00:14:11,982 --> 00:14:17,162
MANDY, MANDY'S ROOMMATE, MISSY,
MISTY, MISTY'S ROOMMATE,
357
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:22,127
MOLLY,
MOM, MONICA, M...MOM?
358
00:14:22,132 --> 00:14:25,602
THAT LIAR.
359
00:14:25,595 --> 00:14:28,095
ALL RIGHT.
I'M GONNA CALL HER RIGHT NOW.
360
00:14:28,098 --> 00:14:31,898
WELL, WAIT A SECOND.
JACK, YOU'RE DRUNK.
361
00:14:31,902 --> 00:14:34,402
YOU HAVEN'T HAD ANYTHING
IN YOUR TUMMY TODAY.
362
00:14:34,404 --> 00:14:37,054
LET'S JUST THINK ABOUT THIS.
363
00:14:44,314 --> 00:14:45,664
MOM!
MOM!
364
00:14:48,919 --> 00:14:50,919
[ ALL LAUGHING ]
365
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:56,374
I'LL NEVER FORGET
WHAT YOU'VE DONE FOR ME, JACK.
366
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,997
SEX WITH YOU IS NO LONGER
OUT OF THE QUESTION.
367
00:15:01,331 --> 00:15:04,671
AND THANK YOU, JACK.
THANK YOU FOR FIXING ME.
368
00:15:04,674 --> 00:15:08,084
I'M FINALLY CAPABLE
OF LOVE.
369
00:15:08,078 --> 00:15:10,908
YEAH,
IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.
370
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,052
HEY, MRS. BICHETTE?
371
00:15:27,257 --> 00:15:28,597
[ GROANS ]
372
00:15:28,598 --> 00:15:30,958
OH,
THAT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA.
373
00:15:30,961 --> 00:15:32,601
GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE!
374
00:15:32,602 --> 00:15:33,632
VOLUME.
375
00:15:38,508 --> 00:15:40,168
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
376
00:15:40,170 --> 00:15:41,670
CARRIED YOU HOME
WHEN YOU PASSED OUT,
377
00:15:41,671 --> 00:15:42,971
THEN I CRASHED
ON YOUR SOFA.
378
00:15:42,973 --> 00:15:44,673
YOU CARRIED ME HOME?
379
00:15:44,674 --> 00:15:46,054
YEAH,
'CAUSE I WAS THE SOBER ONE.
380
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:48,176
AND FYI,
YOU COULD LOSE A FEW.
381
00:15:48,178 --> 00:15:49,618
WHAT DO YOU MEAN
YOU WERE THE SOBER ONE?
382
00:15:49,619 --> 00:15:50,649
I DON'T DRINK.
383
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,050
SINCE WHEN
DO YOU NOT DRINK?
384
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,282
SINCE NEVER.
385
00:15:53,283 --> 00:15:56,333
IT DULLS THE SENSES, AND PEOPLE
DRAW MUSTACHES ON YOU.
386
00:15:56,326 --> 00:15:57,556
HUH?
387
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,557
NOTHING.
OH, I NEED TO CALL MANDY.
388
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:02,959
DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO SWING BY
AND TUCK HER IN LAST NIGHT.
389
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,432
MORNING, DARREN,
YOSEMITE SAM.
390
00:16:04,434 --> 00:16:06,544
[ GROANS ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
391
00:16:06,536 --> 00:16:09,136
TAKING A SHOWER.
I SMELL LIKE FOOT.
392
00:16:09,139 --> 00:16:11,069
CATS
KEEP FOLLOWING ME AROUND.
393
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,471
YOU'RE GONNA TAKE A SHOWER
IN THAT?
394
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,642
YEP.
395
00:16:13,643 --> 00:16:15,683
YOU BETTER NOT BE USING
THAT SHOWER, TONY.
396
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:17,675
YEAH? WATCH ME.
397
00:16:24,214 --> 00:16:28,264
NOT ONE WORD.
398
00:16:28,258 --> 00:16:30,388
YOU'RE RUNNING
OUT OF OPTIONS, TONY.
399
00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,090
YOU'D BETTER FIX IT.
400
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,562
WHAT'S THIS?
401
00:16:33,563 --> 00:16:36,073
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
402
00:16:36,066 --> 00:16:37,426
WHO CALLED MY MOM?
403
00:16:37,427 --> 00:16:39,727
OH, I THINK I DID.
404
00:16:39,729 --> 00:16:43,069
OH, YEAH.
SHE'S COMING TO THE GRADUATION.
405
00:16:43,073 --> 00:16:45,283
I GOT STITCH TO PICK HER UP
AT THE BUS STOP AT 1:00.
406
00:16:45,275 --> 00:16:47,275
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
407
00:16:47,277 --> 00:16:49,037
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
408
00:16:49,039 --> 00:16:51,039
YOU HAD YOUR MOM'S PHONE NUMBER
IN THAT PHONE THIS WHOLE TIME,
409
00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:52,581
AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME.
410
00:16:52,582 --> 00:16:55,122
MAN, I GET IT. YOU HAVE
SOME PROBLEMS WITH YOUR MOM.
411
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:56,245
BUT YOU CAN'T JUST SUCK IT UP
FOR ONE DAY
412
00:16:56,246 --> 00:16:57,286
TO MAKE STITCH HAPPY?
413
00:16:57,287 --> 00:16:59,617
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT OUR MOM.
414
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,119
MAN, I KNOW
WHAT STITCH TELLS ME.
415
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,321
SHE SAYS SHE'S THIS GREAT LADY
THAT DOES ALL THIS GOOD --
416
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:04,353
I MADE THAT UP!
417
00:17:04,354 --> 00:17:05,764
WHAT?
418
00:17:05,755 --> 00:17:07,595
I MADE IT ALL UP.
419
00:17:07,597 --> 00:17:08,757
MY MOM IS NO DO-GOODER.
420
00:17:08,758 --> 00:17:11,428
SHE WORKS AT A DRY CLEANER
IN BENSONWOOD.
421
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,261
IF SHE WANTED
ANYTHING TO DO WITH US,
422
00:17:13,263 --> 00:17:14,563
SHE WOULDN'T NEED YOU
TO CALL HER.
423
00:17:14,564 --> 00:17:16,474
SHE SAID SHE'S COMING.
424
00:17:16,466 --> 00:17:18,466
YEAH, I'M SURE SHE DID.
425
00:17:18,468 --> 00:17:20,168
I'M SO-- [ SIGHS ]
426
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:24,570
JACK, JUST KEEP YOUR DAMNED NOSE
OUT OF MY FAMILY'S BUSINESS.
427
00:17:24,574 --> 00:17:25,584
[ SCOFFS ]
428
00:17:28,618 --> 00:17:31,448
OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
429
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:32,751
[ SIGHS ]
430
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,252
I AM SO TIRED OF THIS,
TONY.
431
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:35,764
WHOA, WHOA,
WHAT -- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
432
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:39,055
SO HELP ME,
I WILL BREAK YOUR FISH.
433
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:42,158
YEAH? I WILL SMASH
WHATEVER THE HELL THIS IS.
434
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,592
TRY ME!
TRY ME.
435
00:17:43,593 --> 00:17:45,203
ALL RIGHT!
KNOCK IT OFF!
436
00:17:45,195 --> 00:17:46,465
THIS ENDS NOW.
437
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:48,096
I'VE MADE A HORRIBLE MISTAKE.
I NEED YOUR HELP.
438
00:17:48,098 --> 00:17:50,768
BUT FIRST, DAD,
YOU NEED TO FIX THE SHOWER.
CAN'T DO IT.
439
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,770
IT'S NOT FOR ME. IT'S NOT
FOR HER. IT'S FOR STITCH.
440
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,172
WE NEED TO CLEAN OURSELVES UP
AND GET TO HER GRADUATION.
441
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:55,284
FIX THE SHOWER.
442
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:58,075
[ CLICKS TONGUE ]
CAN'T DO IT.
443
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,847
WHY NOT?
444
00:17:59,849 --> 00:18:03,179
BECAUSE I CANNOT DO IT.
445
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:07,123
OKAY? I TRIED
EVERY NIGHT THIS WEEK.
[ VASE THUDS ]
446
00:18:07,117 --> 00:18:09,257
I'VE REPLACED EVERY NUT,
WASHER, GASKET,
447
00:18:09,259 --> 00:18:11,159
THE REGULATOR,
EVERY PIPE.
448
00:18:11,161 --> 00:18:12,691
I CAN'T FIX IT.
449
00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:14,862
IT IS A DEMON SHOWER
SENT STRAIGHT FROM HELL
450
00:18:14,864 --> 00:18:17,274
TO TORMENT ME...
AND YOUR AUNT.
451
00:18:17,267 --> 00:18:19,197
WELL,
DID YOU TRY TURNING THE --
452
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:21,429
YEAH, I TRIED EVERYTHING!
I CAN'T FIX IT!
453
00:18:21,431 --> 00:18:24,101
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
454
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,383
AW,
NOW YOU'RE HUGGING ME.
455
00:18:26,376 --> 00:18:29,236
OOH! THIS -- THIS --
THIS, UH -- THIS LOVE.
456
00:18:29,239 --> 00:18:31,209
LET'S -- LET'S GET THIS LOVE,
LET'S PUT IT IN THE CAR,
457
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,241
TAKE IT TO THE GRADUATION.
458
00:18:33,243 --> 00:18:35,693
LET'S CRACK A WINDOW BECAUSE
WE SMELL LIKE A LANDFILL.
459
00:18:40,890 --> 00:18:45,230
MOM COULDN'T MAKE IT, BUT SHE
SENDS HER LOVE -- AND THIS.
460
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,225
STOP IT, DARREN.
461
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,727
THIS DID NOT COME OVERNIGHT
FROM INDIA.
462
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,229
SURE IT DID.
463
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:54,161
THE INDIAN POSTAL SYSTEM
IS THE ENVY OF THE WORLD.
464
00:18:56,406 --> 00:19:00,336
[ SIGHS ]
465
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:03,370
YOU KNOW, ALL THESE YEARS
I KIND OF KNEW IT WAS YOU.
466
00:19:03,373 --> 00:19:05,483
I JUST DIDN'T
WANT TO BELIEVE IT.
467
00:19:05,475 --> 00:19:08,815
I'M SORRY I LIED TO YOU,
STITCH.
468
00:19:08,818 --> 00:19:10,648
I WAS JUST
TRYING TO PROTECT YOU.
469
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,250
NO, I LIED TO MYSELF.
470
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:15,933
BUT I AM REALLY GRATEFUL
FOR THE MOM THAT YOU GAVE ME.
471
00:19:19,529 --> 00:19:23,259
I JUST WANTED YOU
TO HAVE A FAMILY.
472
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:24,493
HEY!
473
00:19:25,595 --> 00:19:27,435
WE GOING TO THIS GRADUATION
OR WHAT?
474
00:19:27,437 --> 00:19:28,937
YOU'RE ALL COMING?
475
00:19:28,938 --> 00:19:30,398
OF COURSE WE ARE!
476
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,170
WHAT'S FAMILY FOR?
477
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,441
YOU GUYS!
478
00:19:34,444 --> 00:19:36,954
All:
SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH!
479
00:19:36,946 --> 00:19:38,946
I ALREADY GAVE ONE,
YOU GUYS.
480
00:19:38,948 --> 00:19:40,848
NOW I JUST WANT TO GET DRUNK.
481
00:19:40,850 --> 00:19:43,210
All:
DRINK, DRINK, DRINK.
482
00:19:43,213 --> 00:19:44,953
[ ALL CHEER ]
483
00:19:44,954 --> 00:19:47,324
THANK YOU.
484
00:19:47,317 --> 00:19:49,317
MM-HMM.
485
00:19:49,319 --> 00:19:51,689
AH.
486
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,691
[ SIGHS ] I AM SO SORRY
ABOUT THE WHOLE MOM THING. I --
487
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,234
IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
488
00:19:56,226 --> 00:19:58,496
I HAD TO DEAL WITH THAT
SOMETIME.
489
00:19:58,498 --> 00:19:59,868
OH.
490
00:19:59,869 --> 00:20:02,229
AND, JACK, THANKS.
491
00:20:02,232 --> 00:20:03,772
IT MEANS A LOT
THAT YOU TRIED.
492
00:20:05,275 --> 00:20:07,335
HEY, MAN, YOUR POP REEKS
OF HOT GARBAGE.
493
00:20:07,337 --> 00:20:10,207
YEAH, YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO STAY
UPWIND FROM HIM.
494
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,839
LOOK, UH,
I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY, TOO.
495
00:20:12,842 --> 00:20:14,742
YOU ARE NOT SELF-ABSORBED.
496
00:20:14,744 --> 00:20:15,994
THANK YOU.
YEAH.
497
00:20:15,985 --> 00:20:17,985
AND LET THAT TEACH YOU A LESSON
ABOUT MAKING ASSUMPTIONS.
498
00:20:17,987 --> 00:20:18,947
OH, HERE.
499
00:20:18,948 --> 00:20:21,488
IT'S MY CREDIT CARD.
500
00:20:21,491 --> 00:20:23,651
YEAH, YOU KIND OF MAXED IT OUT
AT THE BAR.
501
00:20:23,653 --> 00:20:27,303
YOU KNOW,
D-BOMBS DON'T COME CHEAP.
502
00:20:35,305 --> 00:20:37,435
HEY, DARREN!
503
00:20:37,437 --> 00:20:38,607
OH, MY GOSH!
AM I REALLY THAT SCARY?
504
00:20:38,608 --> 00:20:40,608
OKAY.
I OVERREACTED.
505
00:20:40,610 --> 00:20:43,910
YOU'RE...
A REALLY NICE PERSON,
506
00:20:43,913 --> 00:20:45,583
AND I SHOULD HAVE
NEVER CALLED YOU A STALKER.
507
00:20:45,575 --> 00:20:46,675
MAYBE WE CAN START AGAIN?
508
00:20:46,676 --> 00:20:50,716
I'D LIKE THAT. AND I PROMISE YOU
I AM NOT CRAZY.
509
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,280
I KNOW.
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
510
00:20:53,283 --> 00:20:54,453
COME HERE.
511
00:21:01,030 --> 00:21:03,960
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
37047
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