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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:04,520 Cruises have never been more popular. 2 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:08,040 Last year, millions of us Brits booked one 3 00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:09,720 and sailed off into the sunset. 4 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:11,240 HORN BLAST 5 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,680 Nowadays, there are cruises for everyone - 6 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,840 young, old singles and families. 7 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:19,240 You can head off on a weekend mini cruise, 8 00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:22,760 or blow the budget on a year-long round the world trip. 9 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:26,800 Whatever floats your boat, somewhere, there's a cruise for you. 10 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,000 I'm Jane McDonald, 11 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,240 and 18 years ago, I was a singer on a ship 12 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:32,200 that was filmed for a BBC series. 13 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,240 It changed my life, but I'm still crazy about cruising. 14 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:39,400 I'm going to show you how to get the best 15 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,160 out of any cruise you ever go on. 16 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:44,560 This time, a boutique cruise in the Inner Hebrides. 17 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,160 Hello, little puffin! 18 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:49,560 Exploring hidden caves... 19 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,480 NOTE ECHOES 20 00:00:51,480 --> 00:00:52,960 Wow! 21 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,920 ..and getting to meet the locals... 22 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,040 How you feeling? Great! Yeah, it's good. 23 00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:59,480 Whoo! 24 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,640 ..and embracing the weather. 25 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,640 It is windy. And it's fabulous! 26 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,000 So, come on, what are you waiting for? 27 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,120 All aboard! 28 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,480 The Inner Hebrides is a group of islands 29 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,240 lying off the Atlantic west coast of Scotland. 30 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:23,440 Stretching for 150 miles, 31 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:26,440 the islands are divided into north and south. 32 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,960 My trip will be sailing round one of the bigger islands in the south, 33 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,720 the Isle of Mull. 34 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:35,680 Apart from the staggering natural beauty in this area, 35 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,240 visitors are also drawn to the wildlife... 36 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,960 ..and historical appeal. 37 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:45,800 So, with a name like McDonald, 38 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,320 you'd think I'd know me neeps from me tatties - 39 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,520 but this is the first time I've had a chance 40 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:51,960 to get to know my homeland. 41 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:57,480 We're in Oban, which is on the west coast of Scotland. 42 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,280 I'm going for a trip on a lovely ship - 43 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:03,560 it's a very small one, I believe - around the Inner Hebrides. 44 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,760 Because I've got Scottish roots, looking forward to this. 45 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,760 It's a bit of a personal voyage for me, this one. 46 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,480 My trip sets sail from Oban, 47 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,640 the unofficial capital of the West Highlands. 48 00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:18,240 Known as the Gateway to the Isles, 49 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:22,200 this pretty seaside town is surrounded by beautiful countryside 50 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,160 and miles of dramatic coastline, 51 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:26,600 and makes me feel quite at home. 52 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,960 Because all my family come from Scotland, 53 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,160 and there's only me and my brother that are from England, 54 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:35,120 so, it's... I just get a really lovely feeling 55 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,080 when I come back to Scotland. 56 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,440 I love it up here. Beautiful place. 57 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,640 I'm the Sassenach, you know, it's like... 58 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:46,600 SCOTTISH ACCENT: So, they all talk like this at home. 59 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,360 It's a beautiful singsong language, is Scottish, to me. 60 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,520 My grandmother always sounded really posh, 61 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,400 cos she was from Dundee. 62 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,360 She was from Dundee and sounded really posh. 63 00:02:57,360 --> 00:03:00,840 REFINED SCOTTISH ACCENT: So she used to speak a little bit like that, 64 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:04,440 which I always thought sounded very posh. 65 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:07,440 But I love it - and there's little things like The Pokey Hat. 66 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,760 That means an ice cream cornet. 67 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:14,160 That's a cone that you put your ice cream in. 68 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:16,920 I wish I had more time here - 69 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:20,320 then I could take a walk out to the Dunollie Castle ruins 70 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:22,280 or head up to McCaig's Tower, 71 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:25,840 the prominent landmark standing proud over the town... 72 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,640 ..but it's time to find me ship - 73 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:35,200 or, in this case, a lovingly converted herring trawler. 74 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:39,560 I'll be spending six nights on what is now a floating boutique hotel. 75 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,400 The ship sleeps 11 plus crew, 76 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:44,440 and will be the smallest I've ever sailed on. 77 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,720 I've never tried a cruise quite like this. 78 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,040 This will be completely different for me, 79 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,680 because it's only about 13 people, tops, 80 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:55,200 which is completely different to anything I've ever done. 81 00:03:55,200 --> 00:04:00,160 It's been 2,000 to 3,000 to 4,000 capacity that I'm used to. 82 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,480 I love that music in the background - can you hear that? 83 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,480 We've got piper going somewhere. DISTANT PIPES 84 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:06,760 I love that. We're definitely in Scotland. 85 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,400 We're definitely in Scotland! 86 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,800 So, yeah, this is gonna be a completely - very intimate. 87 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,000 I think this will be very intimate. 88 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:17,440 I have no idea what to expect when I get into my cabin. 89 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:20,320 As long as it's got a nice bed, a comfy pillow, 90 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,080 I'll be happy. 91 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:23,720 And a shower. 92 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,560 And maybe a bath, and... maybe a hairdryer. 93 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:27,920 Maybe a kettle. 94 00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:38,720 Hello! Are you going on this trip? 95 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,920 Yes, we are. Oh, great! I'm Jane. Nice to meet you. 96 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,480 Have you done this cruise before? No, we haven't. No? No. 97 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,640 Well, we're all in the same boat, then. 98 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,880 A nice drive up to Scotland and Oban, 99 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,200 my first port of call, 100 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,040 then across the Sound of Mull 101 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,480 to Tobermory. 102 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:54,840 From Tobermory, 103 00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:57,240 we had north-west around the tip of Mull, 104 00:04:57,240 --> 00:04:58,640 south to Ulva Ferry, 105 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,280 then the Treshnish Isles 106 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:01,920 and the puffins of Lunga, 107 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,080 followed by Staffa and Fingal's Cave 108 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,040 and overnight in Bunessan Bay - 109 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,920 and finally back to Oban. 110 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,160 Your floating hotel is dead ahead. 111 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:17,160 Whoo! 112 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,960 It's a bit smaller than I thought. 113 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:23,920 But... 114 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:27,280 But I'm sure it's small but perfectly formed! 115 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:32,880 First impression is, "What am I doing, going on a trawler?!" 116 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,320 The second one is, "It's going to be brilliant." 117 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:41,360 I've just got a feeling, I've got a nice warm feeling about this trip. 118 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,800 It looks like one of the lifeboats off the big ship! 119 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,800 We're going to spend all this cruise on a lifeboat. 120 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,240 THEY LAUGH 121 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:51,680 Here we are. 122 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,600 Oh, wow, look at this - it's like your front room! 123 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,280 Ooh, this is cute, innit? 124 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,640 Welcome aboard, ladies and gentlemen, to the Glen Tarsan. 125 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,480 Oh, look at this! 126 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:02,680 Thank you. Thank you very much. 127 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:04,840 Here's to a great time. Thanks very much. 128 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,080 Cheers! Yeah! Cheers. 129 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,680 It's got this really cosy feel. 130 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,160 It's like...you can you can feel as if this is home. 131 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,040 And for the next week, 132 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,920 this will be home for all of us - including our four crew. 133 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,480 Skipper Ian, he's the boss... 134 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,960 ..Darin, the boatswain... 135 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,480 ..George, the engineer... 136 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,360 ..and Swedish chef Maggie. 137 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,640 They do everything for us, from waiting at table, 138 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:35,560 keeping everything shipshape and catering to our every need - 139 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,280 and now time for a look round. 140 00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:39,000 Oh, wow! Hey, look at it! 141 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,320 Oh, my goodness. 142 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:42,360 Hey, this is fabulous. 143 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:45,040 It's like a proper little room and everything. 144 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:46,840 It's not... It's not big... 145 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,800 ..but it's perfect, 146 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,000 and it feels really cosy. 147 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,440 Maybe I should have thought about the size of the cabin 148 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,400 before I did me packing. 149 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,000 There's a little wardrobe here. 150 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,480 Little shelves. 151 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:03,920 Can't beat a hook. 152 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:07,600 I've got three hooks, four hooks, five hooks...six, seven hooks. 153 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,120 That's nice. 154 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:12,800 You've got a shower, toilet. 155 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,480 Jane, this looks lovely! 156 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,000 Doesn't it? 157 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,800 Oh, it's great. Aren't they? Good size cabins, aren't they? 158 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,640 It's a lot bigger than I thought. Mm! 159 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:23,560 Are you next door? Yeah! Oh, this is lovely. 160 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:25,160 Oh, fantastic. 161 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,520 We've even got a porthole. 162 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,160 Eh, you two keep it down! 163 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:29,640 THEY LAUGH You know what I mean? 164 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,240 I'm having no midnight conversations. No... 165 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:33,720 Conversations, John. 166 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,040 Jane, I don't know if you're gonna get all your clothes 167 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,800 in your wardrobe. THEY LAUGH 168 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:40,040 There's seven hooks, I've counted. Oh! 169 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:43,040 Coming up, I discover me sea legs... 170 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,680 I'm feeling a bit woozy. 171 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,320 ..kick up my heels at the local ceilidh... 172 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,920 ..and go shopping Tobermory style. 173 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,360 Do you just put this over your head? 174 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:55,480 Is somebody winding me up? 175 00:08:00,830 --> 00:08:02,550 HORN BLAST 176 00:08:05,870 --> 00:08:09,710 I'm sailing round the Inner Hebrides off the west coast of Scotland, 177 00:08:09,710 --> 00:08:13,350 and, as we were warned, it's not always smooth sailing. 178 00:08:13,350 --> 00:08:16,550 Our ship used to be part of the Irish herring fleet - 179 00:08:16,550 --> 00:08:19,070 and I bet she's tackled rougher seas than these. 180 00:08:19,070 --> 00:08:21,710 I'm not sure I have, though. 181 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:24,790 I'm feeling a bit woozy, because it's really rocky, 182 00:08:24,790 --> 00:08:26,790 because it's such a small ship. 183 00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:28,150 As you can see. 184 00:08:29,230 --> 00:08:32,270 And I'm just going to take a motion sickness tablet. 185 00:08:32,270 --> 00:08:35,590 Because... Be prepared. 186 00:08:35,590 --> 00:08:37,270 You don't want to be filming that. 187 00:08:37,270 --> 00:08:38,790 You really don't. 188 00:08:40,790 --> 00:08:42,230 It's the swell. 189 00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,590 It's the actual swell that goes with it, 190 00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:47,790 and that is a problem. That is a problem. 191 00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:48,830 As you can see! 192 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,230 I'm gonna show you what it's really like. 193 00:08:56,230 --> 00:08:58,630 Cos this is pretty bad weather. 194 00:08:58,630 --> 00:08:59,830 Whaa! 195 00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:03,150 This is pretty rough, out here... 196 00:09:04,550 --> 00:09:08,390 ..and I feel a bit like a pea on a drum at the minute. 197 00:09:08,390 --> 00:09:11,190 Cos you can't... Ooh! 198 00:09:11,190 --> 00:09:13,390 I'm wet! I'm wet, as well. 199 00:09:15,270 --> 00:09:17,110 It... Ooh! It's wet. 200 00:09:17,110 --> 00:09:19,270 It's windy. 201 00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:21,430 And it's fabulous! 202 00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:23,070 I'm going to have a great time! 203 00:09:23,070 --> 00:09:27,510 It's a bit like being in a tumble dryer. Or a washing machine. 204 00:09:27,510 --> 00:09:29,070 Yeah, it's a washing machine, 205 00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:31,270 because a tumble dryer's got no water in it, has it?! 206 00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:35,470 It's a bit frightening, I have to say, but... 207 00:09:35,470 --> 00:09:36,910 Ooh! 208 00:09:38,710 --> 00:09:40,550 ..but it's an adventure. 209 00:09:47,750 --> 00:09:51,630 Our journey has taken us from Oban up the Sound of Mull, 210 00:09:51,630 --> 00:09:54,670 and now we have dropped anchor in Tobermory. 211 00:09:54,670 --> 00:09:56,590 I've heard there's a right good knees-up 212 00:09:56,590 --> 00:09:58,070 in the village over the hills, 213 00:09:58,070 --> 00:09:59,430 so, let's get stuck in! 214 00:10:00,550 --> 00:10:02,750 We're at Dervaig village hall. 215 00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:05,310 There's a ceilidh going on inside. What's a ceilidh? 216 00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:06,750 Ugh, come on. 217 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,590 Ceilidhs are still a big part of rural Scottish life, 218 00:10:11,590 --> 00:10:13,870 and a great way to bring a community together. 219 00:10:13,870 --> 00:10:15,070 Jane, how are you? 220 00:10:15,070 --> 00:10:16,430 You want to have a wee dance? Yeah! 221 00:10:20,110 --> 00:10:22,510 This is a Gay Gordons. Now you've got to do a wee twirl. 222 00:10:24,990 --> 00:10:27,270 SHE LAUGHS You've got it in one! 223 00:10:27,270 --> 00:10:29,870 The young, the old and the in-between 224 00:10:29,870 --> 00:10:32,030 can all dance, drink and have a great time 225 00:10:32,030 --> 00:10:33,870 in a famously friendly atmosphere. 226 00:10:33,870 --> 00:10:36,910 You've done this before. Me dad taught me years ago. 227 00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:38,190 Ooh! Whoa! 228 00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:39,230 Sorry, sorry! 229 00:10:39,230 --> 00:10:40,670 Ooh, I've gone a bit dizzy. 230 00:10:40,670 --> 00:10:43,350 Ceilidhs were originally organised for young couples 231 00:10:43,350 --> 00:10:45,510 in remote Highland areas to meet. 232 00:10:45,510 --> 00:10:47,430 Way more fun than Tinder. 233 00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:48,510 APPLAUSE 234 00:10:48,510 --> 00:10:49,550 Well done! 235 00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:51,390 Thank you. I'm puffed out! 236 00:10:52,990 --> 00:10:55,510 I'm a bit dizzy! You're dizzy? You want a wee seat? 237 00:10:55,510 --> 00:10:57,030 I'll have a seat. 238 00:10:59,190 --> 00:11:00,670 I've been on a boat all day, 239 00:11:00,670 --> 00:11:03,710 I've just driven up here through all these winding roads. 240 00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:05,070 Not a thing. 241 00:11:05,070 --> 00:11:07,670 As soon as I get on the dance floor, I'm going to throw up. 242 00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:10,150 That were a lot of spinning! 243 00:11:12,350 --> 00:11:15,870 Yeah, this is this is really typical of village halls, Scotland, 244 00:11:15,870 --> 00:11:18,190 everybody dancing. Innit nice? 245 00:11:18,190 --> 00:11:19,670 Yeah, it's really... 246 00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:21,350 It's very Scottish. 247 00:11:21,350 --> 00:11:23,190 So, I'm really Scottish now. 248 00:11:23,190 --> 00:11:24,910 Look at that, in his kilt. There we are. 249 00:11:24,910 --> 00:11:27,270 Thank you very much, John, that's lovely of you. 250 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,230 I think we're gonna have a Strip the Willow next. 251 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,630 Aye, I... Have you din that one? A what? A Strip the Willow. 252 00:11:31,630 --> 00:11:33,590 A Strip the Willow? Aye, it's a community dance, 253 00:11:33,590 --> 00:11:35,790 everybody's up the floor. Oh, no, I've not done that. 254 00:11:35,790 --> 00:11:38,510 Two big lines... You need to that one, then. OK. Are you up for that? 255 00:11:38,510 --> 00:11:40,710 Of course! There's more spinning, mind you. 256 00:11:40,710 --> 00:11:42,870 There's... Oh, no, not more spinning! 257 00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,630 Do you not fancy that? 258 00:11:44,630 --> 00:11:46,310 Well, you can watch! 259 00:11:46,310 --> 00:11:48,710 Right, I'll go and get organised. That's so lovely of you. 260 00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:50,910 Thank you very much for the water, John. Thank you. 261 00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:52,590 Thanks for coming. Oh, it was my pleasure. 262 00:11:52,590 --> 00:11:54,790 See you in a bit. Strip the Willow! How sweet is he?! 263 00:11:54,790 --> 00:11:57,070 Ladies this side, gents on this side. 264 00:11:57,070 --> 00:11:59,710 Two big lines. Come on, all of you up. 265 00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:01,470 This is the penultimate dance. 266 00:12:18,390 --> 00:12:21,830 It's great to see everybody enjoying themselves. 267 00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:25,990 I've realised just how fit I was as a child dancing with my father. 268 00:12:27,710 --> 00:12:32,430 I used to go every week, ballroom dancing with me dad, 269 00:12:32,430 --> 00:12:36,630 and you don't realise how special that is until they're gone. 270 00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:39,750 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 271 00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:41,670 Don't make me cry! 272 00:12:41,670 --> 00:12:43,190 Don't make me cry. 273 00:12:47,510 --> 00:12:50,230 I had a great night's sleep after all that dancing, 274 00:12:50,230 --> 00:12:55,150 so now it's time to explore the wee coastal town of Tobermory. 275 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:58,350 I know what you're thinking - that's not Tobermory, it's Balamory - 276 00:12:58,350 --> 00:13:00,070 but, in fact, it's both. 277 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:03,390 This is where the hit children's show Balamory was mostly filmed. 278 00:13:04,710 --> 00:13:07,030 To be honest, I'm more used to a tropical cruise, 279 00:13:07,030 --> 00:13:08,670 and I haven't packed well for this - 280 00:13:08,670 --> 00:13:11,350 and today I'm wearing something I've never worn before. 281 00:13:11,350 --> 00:13:12,390 Ooh... 282 00:13:12,390 --> 00:13:13,870 Flippin' heck. 283 00:13:13,870 --> 00:13:16,270 I can't walk in these flippin' things, can I? 284 00:13:16,270 --> 00:13:17,950 They're walking boots, Jane. 285 00:13:17,950 --> 00:13:19,310 I know, that's the thing - 286 00:13:19,310 --> 00:13:21,830 they should give you lessons how to walk in 'em. 287 00:13:21,830 --> 00:13:25,350 I'm just wearing stilettos with diamantes on, and flip-flops. 288 00:13:25,350 --> 00:13:27,230 This is not a good look for me, is it? 289 00:13:27,230 --> 00:13:28,910 Do they come with instructions? 290 00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:35,190 Tobermory was originally built as a fishing port 291 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:38,750 in the late 18th century and is now the main town of Mull. 292 00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:42,230 Well known for its picture postcard colourful buildings, 293 00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:44,830 it's also one of the premier locations 294 00:13:44,830 --> 00:13:47,030 for nature watching in the UK. 295 00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:48,990 Visitors flock to this part of the world 296 00:13:48,990 --> 00:13:51,590 to try and catch a glimpse of rare wildlife 297 00:13:51,590 --> 00:13:52,910 such as the golden eagle... 298 00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:55,990 ..as well as the dolphins... 299 00:13:59,750 --> 00:14:03,710 ..and sea life that feed in the waters just off the coast. 300 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,830 It really is a nature lover's dream... 301 00:14:07,950 --> 00:14:12,110 ..but make sure, like me, you bring the right outdoor clothes. 302 00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:15,350 So, how did the ceilidh go last night, then? 303 00:14:15,350 --> 00:14:16,470 Oh, hello. I'm Jane. 304 00:14:16,470 --> 00:14:18,310 I'm Nicky. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. 305 00:14:18,310 --> 00:14:21,110 How do you know I was at a ceilidh? Oh, word travels fast on Mull. 306 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:24,030 Oh, really?! Yes, yes. No, really - who told you?! 307 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,230 The local taxi driver. Oh, that's good. Yeah. 308 00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:29,150 So, you can't... He said he dropped you off and brought you home... 309 00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:31,390 Yeah. ..and the rest of the middle is unknown. 310 00:14:31,390 --> 00:14:33,630 So - but, no, I believe you had a good time. 311 00:14:33,630 --> 00:14:35,990 It was fabulous. Yeah. Fabulous. 312 00:14:35,990 --> 00:14:39,030 I know this sounds odd and a bit thick, from me, 313 00:14:39,030 --> 00:14:40,830 but what's "ceilidh" actually mean? 314 00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:44,630 It's the Scottish sort of term for a traditional dance. 315 00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:48,030 So, it's... So, it's a dance? A Scottish ceilidh, yeah. 316 00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:50,630 They have lots of different traditional Scottish dances, 317 00:14:50,630 --> 00:14:52,670 and they're all performed at ceilidhs, 318 00:14:52,670 --> 00:14:56,590 which they usually use for weddings and so on. Ah. 319 00:14:56,590 --> 00:14:58,350 So, a bit like our Mecca. 320 00:14:58,350 --> 00:15:00,270 Yeah. Do you remember Mecca? 321 00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:02,590 No, you won't remember Mecca, will you? Yes! 322 00:15:02,590 --> 00:15:05,270 My mom told me. Oh! 323 00:15:05,270 --> 00:15:07,710 So sorry! Oh, that hurt! That hurt. 324 00:15:07,710 --> 00:15:08,830 Ooh... 325 00:15:08,830 --> 00:15:10,910 I'd better watch me step. 326 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,390 There's not much goes unnoticed round here. 327 00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:15,150 Let's see what the shopping's like. 328 00:15:15,150 --> 00:15:16,470 Hello. Hello. 329 00:15:16,470 --> 00:15:18,670 Yeah, there's... This is lovely, innit? 330 00:15:18,670 --> 00:15:20,670 Loads of nice scarves. Do you know, I love scarves. 331 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,430 I've got a thing about scarves. 332 00:15:22,430 --> 00:15:24,270 I know, I'm the same! 333 00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:26,270 They are nice, aren't they? Mm-hm. 334 00:15:26,270 --> 00:15:30,550 Oh, they've got all little animals on. Yeah. Puffins, and sheep. 335 00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:32,230 I've never seen sheep on a scarf! 336 00:15:32,230 --> 00:15:33,950 That's different. 337 00:15:33,950 --> 00:15:35,390 Let's have a try on. Yeah, try it on. 338 00:15:35,390 --> 00:15:36,830 Do you do it that way? Jane? What? 339 00:15:36,830 --> 00:15:39,470 Are we ever going to find you doing anything other than shopping? 340 00:15:39,470 --> 00:15:42,070 Listen, it's an illness. Shut up. 341 00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:44,110 I do like a bit of a shop. 342 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,390 "All roads leads to Rum." 343 00:15:46,390 --> 00:15:48,310 That is true! 344 00:15:48,310 --> 00:15:50,750 Is there really an island called Rum? Yeah, Mm-hm. 345 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,150 Well known for its midges. 346 00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:54,350 Do they bite, midges? Oh! Don't ask me. 347 00:15:54,350 --> 00:15:56,150 I come up in big huge lumps. 348 00:15:56,150 --> 00:15:58,310 Itchy lumps. I have to get an antihistamine 349 00:15:58,310 --> 00:15:59,750 if I get bitten by a midgie. 350 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,310 So, you need a repellent, really? Oh, yeah. 351 00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:04,670 It might be worth investing in... 352 00:16:04,670 --> 00:16:07,390 ..in some. I should get some? Yeah. I think you should. 353 00:16:07,390 --> 00:16:10,110 It's coming quite close to when they start to appear. Yeah? 354 00:16:10,110 --> 00:16:11,830 You see? Where's he gone? 355 00:16:11,830 --> 00:16:12,950 Hello. 356 00:16:12,950 --> 00:16:15,150 This is why you need to shop. 357 00:16:15,150 --> 00:16:18,270 I'm learning all about all sorts of things. 358 00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:20,590 You see, we'd have been eaten alive. 359 00:16:20,590 --> 00:16:23,190 These midges sound serious. 360 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:26,310 The local weather forecast even includes a report on them 361 00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:27,510 in every bulletin. 362 00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:30,870 RADIO: Here's the midge forecast for today. 363 00:16:30,870 --> 00:16:34,070 The highest biting activity will be in the Western Highlands 364 00:16:34,070 --> 00:16:36,750 and Islands, particularly in between showers. 365 00:16:37,910 --> 00:16:40,790 The skipper told me about an old-fashioned hardware store 366 00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:42,230 that sells everything. 367 00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:44,590 Let's hope they have something for midges. 368 00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:45,990 Right, we're here. 369 00:16:45,990 --> 00:16:48,670 I didn't know shops like this still existed. 370 00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:51,350 Look at this shop! They've got guitars and everything. 371 00:16:51,350 --> 00:16:52,630 Guitars and guns! 372 00:16:52,630 --> 00:16:55,550 Have you got any midge spray, is it? 373 00:16:55,550 --> 00:16:58,510 Yeah, I've got a lot, come and have a look. Lots of midge stuff, yeah. 374 00:17:00,430 --> 00:17:04,830 I've got natural products. And then we have, like, the chemical ones. 375 00:17:04,830 --> 00:17:07,350 There's midge nets, of course. What's a midge net? 376 00:17:07,350 --> 00:17:10,150 Very effective, just put it over your head... What? 377 00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:13,670 You put a net over your head? Yeah, do you want to try one? Really? 378 00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:15,270 Yeah, come on, try one, yeah. 379 00:17:17,550 --> 00:17:19,150 They're quite comfortable. 380 00:17:20,710 --> 00:17:23,630 They're very effective, they can't get at you, basically. 381 00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:25,550 So you put this on... Yeah. ..at night? 382 00:17:25,550 --> 00:17:27,790 Over your head... No, if you're going out doing the day. 383 00:17:27,790 --> 00:17:29,390 You're joking me! I'm not, honestly. 384 00:17:29,390 --> 00:17:32,310 So you just put this...? I've got a mirror, you can have a look. 385 00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:34,190 You just put this on your head? It's fine. 386 00:17:34,190 --> 00:17:38,510 Isn't it? Very bridal. Is somebody winding me up? 387 00:17:38,510 --> 00:17:41,590 This is not true, is it? No, honestly. It is, don't listen. 388 00:17:41,590 --> 00:17:42,710 Come and have a look. 389 00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:46,830 Is this really a midge net? Yes. Yeah. 390 00:17:46,830 --> 00:17:49,310 Would you like to come round and look in the mirror? 391 00:17:49,310 --> 00:17:51,230 BRIDAL MARCH PLAYS Is this a wind-up, really? 392 00:17:51,230 --> 00:17:52,630 Do people wear those normally? 393 00:17:52,630 --> 00:17:55,070 Of course they do, I sell loads of them, honestly. 394 00:17:55,070 --> 00:17:56,670 BRIDAL MARCH SLOWS TO A HALT 395 00:17:56,670 --> 00:18:00,310 I can't go out looking like that. Why? Honesty, you look good. 396 00:18:00,310 --> 00:18:02,510 JANE LAUGHS 397 00:18:02,510 --> 00:18:05,790 Listen, if the midges come out, you will be glad you have that. 398 00:18:05,790 --> 00:18:09,470 So I should have it? Mm-hmm. Yeah. OK, I'll have one, then. 399 00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:12,270 Known as the Harrods of the North, 400 00:18:12,270 --> 00:18:15,030 this shop offers a bonkers array of items. 401 00:18:15,030 --> 00:18:16,350 You can buy anything here. 402 00:18:18,190 --> 00:18:20,670 You've got absolutely everything in this shop. 403 00:18:20,670 --> 00:18:24,590 I don't suppose in a million years you've got... 404 00:18:24,590 --> 00:18:26,870 ..an avocado peeler, have you? 405 00:18:26,870 --> 00:18:31,430 Yes. You've got an avocado peeler, are you... Really? Mm-hmm. Yep. 406 00:18:32,750 --> 00:18:35,110 This is unbelievable, this place. 407 00:18:35,110 --> 00:18:37,310 I've been looking for one of them for years. 408 00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:40,310 Flipping heck, they have, as well! That is amazing. 409 00:18:40,310 --> 00:18:42,470 You are unbelievable, you two. 410 00:18:42,470 --> 00:18:43,950 Never mind t'Two Ronnies. 411 00:18:45,270 --> 00:18:47,270 THEY LAUGH 412 00:18:47,270 --> 00:18:50,990 We've got them as well! You are joking, you are joking me! 413 00:18:50,990 --> 00:18:52,630 This is unbelievable. 414 00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:56,350 You'll be glad of that net. See you later. Bye! 415 00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:57,910 Bye-bye, bye-bye. 416 00:19:01,310 --> 00:19:03,790 I don't know what I was expecting when I came here. 417 00:19:03,790 --> 00:19:05,150 But it wasn't this. 418 00:19:05,150 --> 00:19:08,390 This peace, this tranquillity, these views. 419 00:19:08,390 --> 00:19:09,910 Oh, wow, look at this. 420 00:19:12,190 --> 00:19:15,190 Oh, what a perfect place to put a bench. 421 00:19:15,190 --> 00:19:17,710 Just look at the beauty of this place. 422 00:19:17,710 --> 00:19:20,950 I didn't expect it to be so picturesque, beautiful. 423 00:19:20,950 --> 00:19:24,830 Every single view from here is a postcard. 424 00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,350 And it's absolutely stunning. 425 00:19:27,350 --> 00:19:29,910 It's just gorgeous. And peaceful. 426 00:19:29,910 --> 00:19:32,070 It, like, envelopes you. 427 00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:34,270 Envelops you? That's it, isn't it? 428 00:19:34,270 --> 00:19:38,430 Sorry, I don't know. I'm not a proper TV presenter, am I? 429 00:19:39,710 --> 00:19:41,310 It enve...env...envelops you. 430 00:19:50,510 --> 00:19:52,950 So, this is the place where we're not allowed, 431 00:19:52,950 --> 00:19:55,910 because the chef is the hardest working person on the ship, 432 00:19:55,910 --> 00:19:59,750 and the most important, let's be honest. Hi, Maggie! Hi! 433 00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:03,990 Hi, you all right? Just to say, we love you. Thank you so much. 434 00:20:03,990 --> 00:20:06,510 No problem, sweetheart, see you later. Bye-bye. Bye. 435 00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:11,830 This must be the bridge. Very handsome man on board here. 436 00:20:11,830 --> 00:20:16,110 Hello. I'm just in the middle of a very tricky little negotiation here. 437 00:20:16,110 --> 00:20:20,310 Just so we don't end up where we shouldn't be. OK. 438 00:20:20,310 --> 00:20:22,750 This is what the skip can see here. 439 00:20:22,750 --> 00:20:25,070 But I'm not going to speak to the captain at the minute, 440 00:20:25,070 --> 00:20:27,710 because he's busy negotiating rocks. 441 00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:31,430 It is like having your own private yacht on here. Which is pretty good. 442 00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:34,310 See, look, just look at that view. You see? 443 00:20:36,630 --> 00:20:38,110 This is the sundeck. 444 00:20:38,110 --> 00:20:41,510 This is the place to be, this is the place to get the sun. 445 00:20:42,870 --> 00:20:44,750 Just look at that view. 446 00:20:49,510 --> 00:20:51,710 Tonight we are sailing from Tobermory 447 00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:53,510 around the northern tip of Mull, 448 00:20:53,510 --> 00:20:54,950 and south to Ulva Ferry. 449 00:20:56,870 --> 00:20:58,350 CHATTER, CROCKERY CLINKING 450 00:20:58,350 --> 00:21:00,750 Thank you. Thank you so much. 451 00:21:00,750 --> 00:21:02,390 LAUGHTER 452 00:21:08,990 --> 00:21:12,590 Coming up, I make an actual haggis with these actual hands. 453 00:21:12,590 --> 00:21:14,070 Oh, yes! 454 00:21:14,070 --> 00:21:16,510 It's like a support stocking, in't it? 455 00:21:16,510 --> 00:21:17,620 I think this is a whole lung. Oh... 456 00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:26,740 I am having the time of my life on a tiny converted trawler, 457 00:21:26,740 --> 00:21:29,260 sailing round Mull in the Inner Hebrides. 458 00:21:31,580 --> 00:21:34,700 It's a stunning part of the world, with dramatic landscapes 459 00:21:34,700 --> 00:21:35,980 and windswept beaches. 460 00:21:38,260 --> 00:21:41,100 I can't think of anywhere more beautiful to start the day. 461 00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:49,180 This is Radio Mull. 109.7 FM. 462 00:21:49,180 --> 00:21:51,780 Live from Mull. 463 00:21:51,780 --> 00:21:53,860 Here's a wee weather update. 464 00:21:53,860 --> 00:21:57,660 Gentlemen, no need for undies beneath your kilts for a few days, 465 00:21:57,660 --> 00:22:01,820 we're having a heatwave. Next, it's The Proclaimers. 466 00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:05,100 I think the weather has freaked everybody out 467 00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:08,020 because it is so fabulous. 468 00:22:08,020 --> 00:22:12,940 And it's May. And you don't usually get this type of weather in May. 469 00:22:12,940 --> 00:22:16,460 It's so easy making friends with my shipmates, it's lovely. 470 00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:19,500 How do you say it, chorizo? 471 00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,660 LAUGHTER 472 00:22:21,660 --> 00:22:25,700 Chorizo! I love that. 473 00:22:25,700 --> 00:22:28,540 We've all really bonded, and it's nice to feel like 474 00:22:28,540 --> 00:22:31,220 you don't have to feel like you've got to talk all the time. 475 00:22:31,220 --> 00:22:32,980 That's a nice place to get to. 476 00:22:40,380 --> 00:22:43,100 Ian's taking me ashore. I can't believe this weather. 477 00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:47,260 It's going to be 26 degrees today. And that is not what I expected. 478 00:22:49,060 --> 00:22:50,140 Look at that blue sky. 479 00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:53,780 And the beautiful blue sea. 480 00:22:53,780 --> 00:22:57,260 The scenery around the Isle of Mull is just breathtaking. 481 00:22:57,260 --> 00:22:59,260 Particularly on a day like today, 482 00:22:59,260 --> 00:23:01,860 with spectacular scenery around every corner. 483 00:23:03,300 --> 00:23:06,220 I know it's not always like this. We've been so lucky. 484 00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:10,580 I'm off to discover the truth about a famous Scottish delicacy 485 00:23:10,580 --> 00:23:12,740 which I have to admit I know nothing about. 486 00:23:12,740 --> 00:23:13,980 Well, you enjoy your day. 487 00:23:13,980 --> 00:23:16,220 Thanks, love. Have a good day. Have a nice day. 488 00:23:16,220 --> 00:23:18,500 Come to think of it, there's a lot of Scottish things 489 00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:21,860 I don't know much about, but haggis is definitely top of my list. 490 00:23:21,860 --> 00:23:24,660 Is it shooting season for haggis? I don't know. 491 00:23:24,660 --> 00:23:27,540 I don't actually know what's in haggis. 492 00:23:27,540 --> 00:23:29,700 So... But I like haggis. 493 00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:32,460 But I might not after today. 494 00:23:32,460 --> 00:23:34,420 Apparently everything's in it but the squeak, 495 00:23:34,420 --> 00:23:36,020 that's what the captain told me. 496 00:23:40,540 --> 00:23:43,740 I'm in Ballygown restaurant, run by Jeanette, head chef, 497 00:23:43,740 --> 00:23:45,540 head waitress and head washer-up. 498 00:23:46,900 --> 00:23:49,180 Hello, Jane! Nice to see you. 499 00:23:49,180 --> 00:23:53,020 Jeanette comes from Brighton and is a self-taught haggis maker. 500 00:23:53,020 --> 00:23:55,580 She must be very good. They've won prizes and everything. 501 00:23:55,580 --> 00:23:58,700 Come in! Do you want to show you how to make haggis today? 502 00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:00,140 Oh, yes, please. Brilliant. 503 00:24:00,140 --> 00:24:02,780 So, is it really as bad as everybody makes out? 504 00:24:02,780 --> 00:24:06,300 Um... It's, it's... I hope you're not squeamish. 505 00:24:06,300 --> 00:24:08,940 You're not squeamish, are you? A little bit. 506 00:24:08,940 --> 00:24:11,780 Get t'kettle on, can we have a cup of tea? I'm gasping. Yes! 507 00:24:15,980 --> 00:24:18,180 Excuse me, what's this? 508 00:24:18,180 --> 00:24:20,820 I've got a photo of Lorraine in the toilet, 509 00:24:20,820 --> 00:24:22,300 and I thought perhaps 510 00:24:22,300 --> 00:24:26,620 it would be nice if you could join Lorraine, if that's all right? 511 00:24:26,620 --> 00:24:28,820 I actually quite like being on the fridge. 512 00:24:28,820 --> 00:24:30,820 Right, listen, I don't mind you having a picture. 513 00:24:30,820 --> 00:24:32,580 But, excuse me, I want a decent one. 514 00:24:32,580 --> 00:24:34,460 I'm a lot thinner now than I was then. 515 00:24:34,460 --> 00:24:36,660 Do you want me to sign it? Yes! 516 00:24:36,660 --> 00:24:40,700 When I did a search for Loose Women on eBay, Carol Vorderman came up. 517 00:24:40,700 --> 00:24:45,380 Really? I've got to admit, Carol Vorderman was, was, you know, 518 00:24:45,380 --> 00:24:47,820 dearer than yourself. Oh, thanks. 519 00:24:47,820 --> 00:24:49,980 She was about 20 quid. Was she? 520 00:24:49,980 --> 00:24:52,460 Yeah. That's too expensive. Well... 521 00:24:52,460 --> 00:24:56,260 Well, I didn't pay so much for Lorraine, actually. 522 00:24:56,260 --> 00:24:58,620 How much did you pay for Lorraine, then? 523 00:24:58,620 --> 00:25:02,340 I can't remember, maybe £4.19. 524 00:25:02,340 --> 00:25:04,860 £4.19? That's not right. She needs to get on prime-time, 525 00:25:04,860 --> 00:25:06,260 that's what you need to do. 526 00:25:06,260 --> 00:25:08,020 How much did you pay for me? 527 00:25:08,020 --> 00:25:10,620 Um... Less, less than... Less than £4? 528 00:25:10,620 --> 00:25:12,340 Less than Lorraine, yeah. 529 00:25:12,340 --> 00:25:14,740 I'm sorry to say. 530 00:25:14,740 --> 00:25:16,260 She probably got it given. 531 00:25:16,260 --> 00:25:19,220 In fact, somebody probably said, "I don't care, just take it." 532 00:25:19,220 --> 00:25:20,380 Lovely. I tell you what, 533 00:25:20,380 --> 00:25:22,740 shall we just make some haggis? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. 534 00:25:24,820 --> 00:25:29,300 I've got three ox bungs in here. What's an ox bung? 535 00:25:29,300 --> 00:25:32,020 I think it's part of the intestine. 536 00:25:32,020 --> 00:25:34,540 It feels like, like a squashed frog. 537 00:25:34,540 --> 00:25:37,420 I've never felt one. Shall I have a go? Yeah, go on, then. 538 00:25:37,420 --> 00:25:39,380 Shall I... Urgh! 539 00:25:39,380 --> 00:25:41,740 It's like a support stocking, in't it? 540 00:25:41,740 --> 00:25:44,500 Well, I don't know if I'd want to put it on my leg. 541 00:25:44,500 --> 00:25:47,820 I've never felt anything quite like that, have you? No, no. 542 00:25:47,820 --> 00:25:50,300 And it smells pretty bad. It is quite good fun if... 543 00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:52,060 Oh, God, it whiffs! 544 00:25:55,740 --> 00:25:57,300 Just while you're here, right? 545 00:25:57,300 --> 00:25:59,660 We've got... Well, this is a part of a lung. 546 00:25:59,660 --> 00:26:01,100 This isn't a whole lung. 547 00:26:01,100 --> 00:26:03,980 The lungs... They were nasty. 548 00:26:03,980 --> 00:26:06,260 I think this is a whole lung. Oh... 549 00:26:07,580 --> 00:26:11,260 Oh, no, that's still part of a lung. Oh, I feel like I'm in Casualty. 550 00:26:11,260 --> 00:26:13,700 It stinks, can you put that back down? Sure! 551 00:26:13,700 --> 00:26:15,900 I'm going to spare you going through everything I did 552 00:26:15,900 --> 00:26:18,700 and just get to the bit where we stuff it and bung it in the pan. 553 00:26:18,700 --> 00:26:21,780 Can I have some more gloves? I'll pay for them, I promise. 554 00:26:21,780 --> 00:26:24,620 Yeah, OK, only because you're going to pay for them. 555 00:26:24,620 --> 00:26:26,020 All right, then. 556 00:26:26,020 --> 00:26:28,220 Just pretend you're putting, you know, 557 00:26:28,220 --> 00:26:30,860 tangerines in a... Christmas stocking. 558 00:26:30,860 --> 00:26:34,340 Jeanette's promised me that this unappetising mixture of offal, 559 00:26:34,340 --> 00:26:36,580 onion, oats, spices, salt, pepper 560 00:26:36,580 --> 00:26:39,180 and a secret ingredient beginning with J 561 00:26:39,180 --> 00:26:42,420 will be transformed into the most delicious haggis ever. We'll see. 562 00:26:42,420 --> 00:26:45,460 Do I get it down to the ball end? THEY LAUGH 563 00:26:46,740 --> 00:26:50,100 I mean, this ball end. Yeah, yeah, squeeze it down like that. 564 00:26:50,100 --> 00:26:51,620 Squeeze it down? 565 00:26:52,820 --> 00:26:54,300 Oh, God, that's disgusting. 566 00:26:54,300 --> 00:26:58,060 Right, so, you need to fart the haggis. You need to fart the haggis? 567 00:26:58,060 --> 00:27:00,540 Yeah, you need to get rid of... You need to massage it 568 00:27:00,540 --> 00:27:02,260 and get rid of all this excess air. 569 00:27:02,260 --> 00:27:05,180 Massage all the wind out of it. 570 00:27:05,180 --> 00:27:06,500 Look at that! 571 00:27:10,100 --> 00:27:12,820 You're doing great. Am I really? 572 00:27:12,820 --> 00:27:15,700 And we're going to tie it just there. 573 00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:19,060 I don't really cook, I don't cook, I don't cook. 574 00:27:19,060 --> 00:27:21,940 Look, I can't lie and say, "Well, actually, 575 00:27:21,940 --> 00:27:24,900 "my speciality dish is this," because I haven't got one. 576 00:27:24,900 --> 00:27:27,500 Oh, apart from shepherd's pie. 577 00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:30,700 But then again, Ed makes a much better shepherd's pie than I do. 578 00:27:30,700 --> 00:27:33,420 So I've given him that as well. Why bother? 579 00:27:33,420 --> 00:27:36,340 Actually, yours is bigger than mine. Well, I'm not one to cause trouble. 580 00:27:37,900 --> 00:27:40,860 OK. You go first. OK. Go on. 581 00:27:40,860 --> 00:27:44,260 And now my haggis needs to simmer for a couple of hours. 582 00:27:44,260 --> 00:27:45,860 You can't hurry haggis. 583 00:27:47,540 --> 00:27:48,940 While we leave them cooking, 584 00:27:48,940 --> 00:27:51,780 we're off to visit Jeanette's next door neighbour. 585 00:27:51,780 --> 00:27:54,740 And on Mull, next door is half a mile away. 586 00:27:54,740 --> 00:27:56,340 Oh, we've got bikes. Yeah. 587 00:27:56,340 --> 00:28:00,380 Oh, this is fine, then. I tell you what, I'll ride the bike. 588 00:28:00,380 --> 00:28:03,700 I'll ride the bike, and I'll show you, I'll show you, come over here. 589 00:28:03,700 --> 00:28:06,300 You're joking, aren't you? I'll put a couple of cushions in it, 590 00:28:06,300 --> 00:28:07,860 all right? You want me to ride in that? 591 00:28:07,860 --> 00:28:09,660 Well, it's quite sturdy. 592 00:28:11,140 --> 00:28:14,300 It's really handy for carrying driftwood. 593 00:28:14,300 --> 00:28:16,860 You can be the flotsam and jetsam for today, all right? 594 00:28:16,860 --> 00:28:18,220 You take that end. 595 00:28:18,220 --> 00:28:20,340 OK. And I'll... Right. 596 00:28:21,820 --> 00:28:23,260 This wasn't in the contract. 597 00:28:25,260 --> 00:28:28,620 I'll go slow, Jane, don't worry. All right, lovely. I trust you. 598 00:28:32,660 --> 00:28:34,060 Oh, it's brilliant! 599 00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:40,140 SHE HUMS HAPPILY How you feeling? 600 00:28:40,140 --> 00:28:43,900 Great, yeah, it's good. Whooo! 601 00:28:50,620 --> 00:28:52,860 Whoo! Oh, that were brilliant. 602 00:28:52,860 --> 00:28:54,700 Right, do you want a hand here, Jane? 603 00:28:54,700 --> 00:28:56,980 Hang on a minute. Look at that. 604 00:28:56,980 --> 00:28:58,940 Graceful as ever. Well done. 605 00:28:58,940 --> 00:29:01,180 Oh, wow, look at this place. 606 00:29:03,020 --> 00:29:05,500 Jeanette's neighbour Lucy has transformed what was 607 00:29:05,500 --> 00:29:09,220 a wilderness of dense bracken and gorse to a beautiful cottage garden. 608 00:29:11,420 --> 00:29:15,020 Hello, Jane. Nice to meet you. This is beautiful. Thank you. 609 00:29:15,020 --> 00:29:17,940 Now, I hear you're the women with the green fingers, is that right? 610 00:29:17,940 --> 00:29:19,500 Well, I work at it. 611 00:29:19,500 --> 00:29:22,220 I enjoy doing things with plants and there's a good market up here 612 00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:24,820 because people are looking for plants which grow well up here. 613 00:29:24,820 --> 00:29:26,740 My plants are all grown outdoors 614 00:29:26,740 --> 00:29:29,620 so people are appreciating you're getting something 615 00:29:29,620 --> 00:29:32,580 which is going to... It's like acclimatised. Yes. 616 00:29:32,580 --> 00:29:36,020 Because those wouldn't normally survive here, would they? 617 00:29:36,020 --> 00:29:39,140 Well, most... We're quite mild up here. 618 00:29:39,140 --> 00:29:41,220 The problem here is the wind. Yeah. 619 00:29:41,220 --> 00:29:44,420 And the salt gales. It does buffet plants terribly, 620 00:29:44,420 --> 00:29:46,860 and it gets very, very wet. 621 00:29:46,860 --> 00:29:49,300 So plants do have some things to contend with. 622 00:29:49,300 --> 00:29:52,020 Can we go and have a look at the garden? Yeah, do. Brilliant. 623 00:29:52,020 --> 00:29:54,380 Are you coming round, Jeanette? Yeah, yeah. Please do. 624 00:29:54,380 --> 00:29:56,660 It's a gorgeous place, though. 625 00:29:56,660 --> 00:29:59,700 Lip na Cloiche is open to the public all year round 626 00:29:59,700 --> 00:30:03,300 and Lucy welcomes thousands of visitors each year. 627 00:30:03,300 --> 00:30:05,260 So have you done all of this? Yes. 628 00:30:05,260 --> 00:30:07,740 Creating this garden was a labour of love, 629 00:30:07,740 --> 00:30:10,700 and has taken Lucy more than ten years. 630 00:30:10,700 --> 00:30:13,820 This is absolutely stunning. You've done such a great job here, Lucy. 631 00:30:13,820 --> 00:30:14,980 Beautiful. 632 00:30:16,460 --> 00:30:18,500 So, here we are at the top of a hill and as you see, 633 00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:21,940 the view is just so much better when you get up here. It's just amazing. 634 00:30:21,940 --> 00:30:25,060 Over there, you can see Ben More, that's the highest hill in Mull. 635 00:30:25,060 --> 00:30:27,060 Those are the Gribun Rocks there, 636 00:30:27,060 --> 00:30:28,660 which are very spectacular. 637 00:30:28,660 --> 00:30:29,980 This is the Isle of Ulva. 638 00:30:29,980 --> 00:30:31,300 That's Gometra at the end, 639 00:30:31,300 --> 00:30:33,700 which is another island connected by a causeway. 640 00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:37,260 So the view up here is just, it's wonderful. 641 00:30:37,260 --> 00:30:40,060 Have you just died and gone to heaven, being here? 642 00:30:40,060 --> 00:30:41,940 It's just amazing to be here. 643 00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:44,940 When you look at this, it's just amazing, it's just wonderful. 644 00:30:44,940 --> 00:30:48,540 Despite sounding very posh and very English, Lucy was born 645 00:30:48,540 --> 00:30:51,340 and bred on Mull. And to her, it's always been home. 646 00:30:51,340 --> 00:30:54,460 You don't have a TV? I don't have a TV, no. Or a radio? 647 00:30:54,460 --> 00:30:57,340 I have a radio, but I don't listen to it. 648 00:30:57,340 --> 00:30:59,060 Newspapers? 649 00:30:59,060 --> 00:31:01,740 I get one newspaper a week and it takes me a whole week to read it 650 00:31:01,740 --> 00:31:04,660 and by that time it's depressed me and I don't want more than one. 651 00:31:04,660 --> 00:31:09,060 How much of the outside world actually invades your world here? 652 00:31:10,780 --> 00:31:12,540 Well, I think it's just the people, 653 00:31:12,540 --> 00:31:14,740 I have a lot of contact with the outside world 654 00:31:14,740 --> 00:31:17,860 because seven months of the year, I've got garden visitors, 655 00:31:17,860 --> 00:31:20,300 and B&Bs. 656 00:31:20,300 --> 00:31:22,660 In the winter, I'm pretty self-sufficient, 657 00:31:22,660 --> 00:31:25,780 because I do all my talking in the summer. 658 00:31:25,780 --> 00:31:28,420 I like that, I do all my talking in the summer. 659 00:31:28,420 --> 00:31:29,860 I maybe don't see anybody, 660 00:31:29,860 --> 00:31:32,060 I don't talk to anybody for two or three days. 661 00:31:32,060 --> 00:31:34,660 In the summer, I'm always here. I don't go out anywhere. 662 00:31:34,660 --> 00:31:39,020 In the winter I'm out, and beachcombing. I'm out and about. 663 00:31:39,020 --> 00:31:40,700 Looking for bits of tractors? 664 00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:42,420 Looking for bits of tractors, exactly. 665 00:31:44,900 --> 00:31:48,140 I want to live in your world. I really do. 666 00:31:48,140 --> 00:31:52,460 I wasn't expecting it to be so peaceful or beautiful here. 667 00:31:52,460 --> 00:31:55,500 But I think what has surprised me most is the emptiness. 668 00:31:55,500 --> 00:31:57,700 It really is like another country. 669 00:31:57,700 --> 00:31:59,860 I never in a million years thought I would 670 00:31:59,860 --> 00:32:02,140 feel like this about the Hebrides. 671 00:32:02,140 --> 00:32:07,420 I thought this was going to be cold, dark, miserable, 672 00:32:07,420 --> 00:32:09,780 but I could never have anticipated this. 673 00:32:11,980 --> 00:32:14,180 It's very peaceful here - very tranquil - 674 00:32:14,180 --> 00:32:18,420 and I think that's because there's no negative ions around us. 675 00:32:18,420 --> 00:32:24,740 There's no big buildings, there's no electricity per se, you know, 676 00:32:24,740 --> 00:32:28,380 there's just open space, which gives you a feeling of serenity. 677 00:32:30,660 --> 00:32:33,300 There's just something so fresh 678 00:32:33,300 --> 00:32:36,500 and so clean about the air here, and it... 679 00:32:37,580 --> 00:32:39,780 It knocks you out. It's like a drug at night. 680 00:32:39,780 --> 00:32:42,860 Or it could be the whisky I'm drinking, but I think it's the air. 681 00:32:43,980 --> 00:32:45,340 My haggis must be ready now. 682 00:32:48,340 --> 00:32:50,620 Jeanette's wrapped them up and they're ready to go. 683 00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:52,260 That looks brilliant, doesn't it? 684 00:32:52,260 --> 00:32:54,660 I'm genuinely so chuffed that they didn't burst. 685 00:32:55,900 --> 00:32:58,700 I'm so proud of myself. 686 00:32:58,700 --> 00:33:00,380 Look at that. 687 00:33:00,380 --> 00:33:02,540 It was a beautiful, plump, rounded haggis. 688 00:33:02,540 --> 00:33:04,140 It's a very fine-looking haggis. 689 00:33:04,140 --> 00:33:06,740 I must have fisted it a bit better than she did, 690 00:33:06,740 --> 00:33:10,460 because you had to really get it down there, so I'm quite pleased 691 00:33:10,460 --> 00:33:12,260 that mine looked so fabulous. 692 00:33:12,260 --> 00:33:13,700 I'm really proud of that. 693 00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,620 I've made a haggis, thanks to Jeanette. 694 00:33:17,620 --> 00:33:20,460 I think with the sauce - a bit of whisky in it, a bit of cream - 695 00:33:20,460 --> 00:33:22,020 it might taste all right. 696 00:33:24,980 --> 00:33:28,140 I'm going to take it back and force it on my fellow shipmates, 697 00:33:28,140 --> 00:33:29,820 and I'm sure it might be nice... 698 00:33:30,940 --> 00:33:32,420 ..but I'm not holding my breath. 699 00:33:33,900 --> 00:33:35,860 I'd never have believed I could do this, 700 00:33:35,860 --> 00:33:38,380 but, like they say, the proof of the pudding... 701 00:33:38,380 --> 00:33:39,380 BAGPIPES PLAY 702 00:33:42,060 --> 00:33:44,420 The arrival of a haggis is always an event, 703 00:33:44,420 --> 00:33:46,820 and mine is no different as it gets piped aboard. 704 00:33:51,780 --> 00:33:53,620 Our very own Burns night - 705 00:33:53,620 --> 00:33:55,780 in Scotland, in May, on a boat. 706 00:33:58,700 --> 00:34:00,820 We're here. Woohoo! 707 00:34:02,740 --> 00:34:03,740 Hurray! 708 00:34:05,860 --> 00:34:08,620 Gracious and glorious, three slices amongst four of us, 709 00:34:08,620 --> 00:34:10,340 thank Christ there's no more of us! 710 00:34:13,980 --> 00:34:16,020 I like that one. It's tasty. Is it? 711 00:34:16,020 --> 00:34:17,380 Yeah. 712 00:34:17,380 --> 00:34:19,180 Well cooked. Really? 713 00:34:19,180 --> 00:34:21,060 Thank you so much. 714 00:34:23,140 --> 00:34:25,340 I must admit, I quite liked it. 715 00:34:25,340 --> 00:34:27,860 I couldn't even stand the smell at the end of the day. 716 00:34:27,860 --> 00:34:31,340 I thought, "There's no way I'm going to be able to eat that," but I did, 717 00:34:31,340 --> 00:34:32,980 and it was really nice. 718 00:34:37,460 --> 00:34:41,100 It's just been the most perfect day weather-wise. 719 00:34:41,100 --> 00:34:43,020 I've made a haggis, 720 00:34:43,020 --> 00:34:46,540 and I've come back and everybody has enjoyed what I've done and now 721 00:34:46,540 --> 00:34:49,660 I'm sat here in the most fabulous sunset 722 00:34:49,660 --> 00:34:52,780 drinking an extremely good whisky. 723 00:34:52,780 --> 00:34:56,420 Life doesn't get any better than this, does it? Cheers! 724 00:35:01,020 --> 00:35:02,380 Ah, this is what it's all about. 725 00:35:05,660 --> 00:35:06,860 Coming up next, 726 00:35:06,860 --> 00:35:09,860 I'm glad I packed those sensible walking boots after all. 727 00:35:09,860 --> 00:35:11,660 It's a bit much this, isn't it? 728 00:35:11,660 --> 00:35:13,340 Oh, slippy stuff, this. Oh! 729 00:35:14,620 --> 00:35:17,460 And we take a trip to Fingal's Cave, a place 730 00:35:17,460 --> 00:35:20,460 so beautiful it inspires great pieces of music. 731 00:35:20,460 --> 00:35:21,460 SHE SINGS SCALES 732 00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:24,260 And still does. 733 00:35:24,260 --> 00:35:26,380 Wow! Listen to that. 734 00:35:35,330 --> 00:35:38,290 This cruise is all about a nice, slow pace of life. 735 00:35:38,290 --> 00:35:41,730 There's no need to do anything at all except enjoy it, 736 00:35:41,730 --> 00:35:43,370 or have a chinwag with new friends. 737 00:35:43,370 --> 00:35:45,770 Do you know, I've loved the fact that we've just been able 738 00:35:45,770 --> 00:35:47,770 to sit there and just do nothing today. Yeah. 739 00:35:47,770 --> 00:35:49,290 It's nice and relaxing. 740 00:35:50,810 --> 00:35:53,010 That's the idea of this holiday. You've got to do it. 741 00:35:53,010 --> 00:35:55,290 Do you mind me asking how old you are? 742 00:35:56,530 --> 00:35:58,490 I don't mind you asking. I shall be 85 next month. 743 00:36:03,690 --> 00:36:05,370 I can't believe she's in her 80s. 744 00:36:05,370 --> 00:36:07,170 She's really sprightly, isn't she? 745 00:36:07,170 --> 00:36:08,730 She's great fun. I love her. 746 00:36:10,410 --> 00:36:12,610 But she's quite excited about this. 747 00:36:12,610 --> 00:36:14,210 She's done a trip before... 748 00:36:15,250 --> 00:36:19,090 ..on a ship over here and she loves it, so... 749 00:36:19,090 --> 00:36:20,530 I love that smell of the sea. 750 00:36:22,290 --> 00:36:24,290 Fresh air. Oh, it does you good. 751 00:36:27,530 --> 00:36:29,450 What are puffins? They're birds. 752 00:36:30,450 --> 00:36:33,530 Birds. I think they are. Yeah, they are. They're puffins. 753 00:36:33,530 --> 00:36:35,450 I've seen a picture of them. 754 00:36:35,450 --> 00:36:39,010 So, I'm going to stick with Joan today because she seems to know. 755 00:36:39,010 --> 00:36:42,290 She saw a documentary on it. How many puffins are you hoping to see? 756 00:36:44,050 --> 00:36:45,730 Well, one will do, but, I mean, 757 00:36:45,730 --> 00:36:48,210 if I see more than that then that will be fantastic. 758 00:36:51,450 --> 00:36:54,810 Next stop, the Isle of Lunga in the Treshnish Islands. 759 00:36:54,810 --> 00:36:56,050 It's bird heaven. 760 00:36:56,050 --> 00:36:58,010 Look at this now coming here. 761 00:36:58,010 --> 00:36:59,370 I still don't see any birds. 762 00:37:00,610 --> 00:37:03,690 There are more than 2,000 pairs of breeding puffins on Lunga, 763 00:37:03,690 --> 00:37:05,010 which is a designated 764 00:37:05,010 --> 00:37:07,650 Site of Special Scientific Interest. 765 00:37:07,650 --> 00:37:10,490 Well, ladies... Oh, hello. ..welcome to the Treshnish Isles. 766 00:37:10,490 --> 00:37:12,650 So, we're just going to anchor in this little bay here 767 00:37:12,650 --> 00:37:14,210 and we'll take you ashore shortly. 768 00:37:14,210 --> 00:37:16,010 Thank you very much. Thank you very much. 769 00:37:20,290 --> 00:37:22,650 Are you looking forward to your puffin tour? Aye. 770 00:37:26,610 --> 00:37:28,930 I'm going to stick with Joan today because she's seen 771 00:37:28,930 --> 00:37:31,210 a documentary on it, so she knows what it's all about. 772 00:37:41,210 --> 00:37:43,810 It's quite slippy. It's a bit much, this, isn't it? 773 00:37:47,370 --> 00:37:50,250 So, where are you of to, Jane? I'm off up there. 774 00:37:50,250 --> 00:37:52,610 There's a big arrow pointing up. 775 00:37:52,610 --> 00:37:55,250 I best catch up. Trust me to come in the wrong gear. 776 00:37:55,250 --> 00:37:58,010 I mean, everybody has got fleeces on and waterproofs. 777 00:37:58,010 --> 00:38:01,050 You see, I'm used to just going bar to car. 778 00:38:01,050 --> 00:38:03,730 Oh, slippy stuff, this. Oh! 779 00:38:07,130 --> 00:38:09,930 I can't believe an 84-year-old is fitter than I am. 780 00:38:11,650 --> 00:38:13,090 Come on, Jane. Thanks, Joan. 781 00:38:15,490 --> 00:38:18,570 Puffins mate for life and both parents incubate the eggs 782 00:38:18,570 --> 00:38:20,930 and feed their chicks, called a puffling. 783 00:38:20,930 --> 00:38:22,610 I mean, how cute is that? 784 00:38:23,770 --> 00:38:24,850 Oh, wow. 785 00:38:27,050 --> 00:38:28,250 Oh! 786 00:38:31,010 --> 00:38:33,730 Oh, little puffins, look. They are tiny, aren't they? 787 00:38:33,730 --> 00:38:35,890 They are not taking any notice. 788 00:38:35,890 --> 00:38:38,170 Oh, isn't it lovely? It's so cute. 789 00:38:38,170 --> 00:38:39,490 Hello, puffin. 790 00:38:39,490 --> 00:38:41,450 Hello, little puffin. 791 00:38:41,450 --> 00:38:43,690 They build their nests in rabbit warrens 792 00:38:43,690 --> 00:38:47,170 and the rabbits are no match for the puffins once they decide to move in. 793 00:38:49,650 --> 00:38:50,970 Hello. 794 00:38:52,130 --> 00:38:53,250 You little darlings. 795 00:38:58,370 --> 00:39:00,490 I don't know what I look like from your angle... 796 00:39:01,650 --> 00:39:03,530 ..but I don't care, cos I've got 797 00:39:03,530 --> 00:39:05,650 some fantastic shots of some puffins here. 798 00:39:09,370 --> 00:39:11,170 I'm chuffing Bear Grylls, aren't I? 799 00:39:12,490 --> 00:39:13,930 Look at that, eh? 800 00:39:13,930 --> 00:39:15,690 They walk like little old men. 801 00:39:15,690 --> 00:39:17,850 They've got webbed feet and everything, which is 802 00:39:17,850 --> 00:39:19,650 a bit odd, isn't it? 803 00:39:19,650 --> 00:39:24,290 Because birds usually, you know, do that, don't they? What parrots do. 804 00:39:26,610 --> 00:39:27,690 I sound right thick. 805 00:39:29,290 --> 00:39:31,050 I sound right thick. 806 00:39:32,130 --> 00:39:36,970 I actually think I'm at the end of my pilgrimage to find my ancestors, 807 00:39:36,970 --> 00:39:40,050 because I'm looking at the nose on that puffin and it's very... 808 00:39:42,330 --> 00:39:44,370 It's the family likeness. 809 00:39:44,370 --> 00:39:46,690 I think if you put me and that puffin back-to-back 810 00:39:46,690 --> 00:39:47,890 we'd look like a pickaxe. 811 00:39:49,290 --> 00:39:51,130 Same nose. 812 00:39:51,130 --> 00:39:53,690 It's all over. I'm related to the puffin. 813 00:39:56,170 --> 00:39:59,290 And it's black and white. I've even got black and white plumage. 814 00:40:02,170 --> 00:40:04,010 Well, that's the family tree sorted. 815 00:40:05,890 --> 00:40:08,810 Next, it's the Isle of Staffa and Fingal's Cave. 816 00:40:16,650 --> 00:40:19,930 The composer Felix Mendelssohn came here in 1829 817 00:40:19,930 --> 00:40:22,650 and was so inspired by what he saw and heard 818 00:40:22,650 --> 00:40:24,770 he wrote the Hebrides Overture. 819 00:40:26,330 --> 00:40:28,370 So, it's a bit swelling today, lads. 820 00:40:28,370 --> 00:40:29,930 Oh, steady. I've got you. 821 00:40:31,290 --> 00:40:32,290 Oh, dear. 822 00:40:33,890 --> 00:40:36,890 This is Fingal's Cave. It's like a cathedral. 823 00:40:36,890 --> 00:40:38,450 Look at those columns. 824 00:40:38,450 --> 00:40:39,810 They're made of bay salt, 825 00:40:39,810 --> 00:40:44,010 and all of this was formed more than 60 million years ago. 826 00:40:44,010 --> 00:40:45,930 It's completely breathtaking. 827 00:40:45,930 --> 00:40:47,130 This is brilliant. 828 00:40:49,130 --> 00:40:51,170 It's amazing, isn't it? 829 00:40:51,170 --> 00:40:52,170 SHE SINGS SCALES 830 00:40:53,330 --> 00:40:55,650 Wow. Listen to that. Do that again. 831 00:40:57,570 --> 00:40:58,570 SHE SINGS SCALES 832 00:41:05,370 --> 00:41:06,370 SHE SINGS SCALES 833 00:41:10,810 --> 00:41:12,650 Wow. Look at the acoustics on that. 834 00:41:12,650 --> 00:41:13,970 Can you do that once more? 835 00:41:16,410 --> 00:41:21,330 # Amazing Grace 836 00:41:22,450 --> 00:41:26,890 # How sweet the sound 837 00:41:28,170 --> 00:41:35,370 # That saved a wretch like me 838 00:41:38,450 --> 00:41:44,210 # I once was lost 839 00:41:44,210 --> 00:41:48,370 # But now I'm found 840 00:41:49,890 --> 00:41:54,850 # Was blind 841 00:41:54,850 --> 00:42:00,370 # But now I see. # 842 00:42:03,450 --> 00:42:06,050 Thank you. Oh, bless you. 843 00:42:07,970 --> 00:42:10,370 That made me joyous to be a singer. 844 00:42:10,370 --> 00:42:11,850 With the acoustics in there, 845 00:42:11,850 --> 00:42:14,090 and just the sound going round Fingal's Cave, 846 00:42:14,090 --> 00:42:15,730 it was quite an emotional moment, 847 00:42:15,730 --> 00:42:17,930 actually, to be pretty honest with you. Aw! 848 00:42:17,930 --> 00:42:20,370 It was absolutely brilliant. Thank you. 849 00:42:20,370 --> 00:42:21,890 Thank you very much. 850 00:42:21,890 --> 00:42:23,530 A free concert for us. 851 00:42:23,530 --> 00:42:25,010 Yeah, that's nice. 852 00:42:25,010 --> 00:42:26,410 Thank you very much. Oh, bless. 853 00:42:26,410 --> 00:42:27,410 Bless! 854 00:42:33,650 --> 00:42:36,050 The crew on the ship are so lovely. 855 00:42:36,050 --> 00:42:39,570 I really feel as if I've made some great new friends. 856 00:42:39,570 --> 00:42:41,130 The two owners - Andy and Ken - 857 00:42:41,130 --> 00:42:43,370 have invited me for a sundowner - 858 00:42:43,370 --> 00:42:45,810 on their private yacht, of course. 859 00:42:45,810 --> 00:42:48,250 Andy and Ken - they are the owners of this company - 860 00:42:48,250 --> 00:42:53,090 and when they get together they are like a couple of naughty schoolboys. 861 00:42:53,090 --> 00:42:56,050 They've got these two yachts that they both own 862 00:42:56,050 --> 00:42:59,850 and they whizz around the island and very often they just join 863 00:42:59,850 --> 00:43:03,650 the passengers on the ship, which is a big thrill for everybody, really. 864 00:43:03,650 --> 00:43:05,850 Permission to come aboard, Captain. 865 00:43:05,850 --> 00:43:07,490 Jane, welcome aboard. 866 00:43:07,490 --> 00:43:08,850 Thank you so much. 867 00:43:08,850 --> 00:43:11,530 Come and sit down. I brought my own drink. 868 00:43:11,530 --> 00:43:13,330 You've done well. 869 00:43:13,330 --> 00:43:16,730 Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. 870 00:43:19,850 --> 00:43:22,090 You've got the perfect life, really, haven't you? 871 00:43:22,090 --> 00:43:24,650 Well, we've got to go off and do our day jobs occasionally. 872 00:43:24,650 --> 00:43:27,970 Yeah, not very often, though. And we've earned it. Yes. 873 00:43:27,970 --> 00:43:30,570 We're getting on a bit now. Speak for yourself! 874 00:43:31,850 --> 00:43:35,210 You're still young at heart, Ken, are you? Absolutely. We both are. 875 00:43:35,210 --> 00:43:37,370 Yeah. We both are. That's the trouble. 876 00:43:37,370 --> 00:43:38,810 Tell me how you got into this. 877 00:43:38,810 --> 00:43:40,450 Oh, it's a long story, really, 878 00:43:40,450 --> 00:43:43,810 but Ken and I have known each other for 50-odd years. 879 00:43:43,810 --> 00:43:45,530 We are both West Highlanders 880 00:43:45,530 --> 00:43:49,610 and we've both sailed these West Highland waters for many years and 881 00:43:49,610 --> 00:43:52,650 when we thought about it we thought it would be a good idea to start 882 00:43:52,650 --> 00:43:55,370 a business that was able to show it off to the rest of the world. 883 00:43:55,370 --> 00:43:58,050 Was that over a drink one night or something? 884 00:43:58,050 --> 00:44:02,530 It was. I think we had the sums done on a beer mat. Yes. 885 00:44:02,530 --> 00:44:05,770 So, the whole copyright thing was on a beer mat. Business plan. 886 00:44:05,770 --> 00:44:07,490 A business plan on a beer mat. 887 00:44:07,490 --> 00:44:08,730 Ha-ha! I like that. 888 00:44:08,730 --> 00:44:11,330 But they are sort of like a double act 889 00:44:11,330 --> 00:44:14,210 so they bounce off each other all the time. 890 00:44:14,210 --> 00:44:15,530 So, you come up on your yacht 891 00:44:15,530 --> 00:44:17,770 and just sail around the Hebrides all the time? 892 00:44:17,770 --> 00:44:20,810 Well, Andy's got his own one. This is my one. Yes, we sail. 893 00:44:20,810 --> 00:44:23,570 You've got one each? Hm. You're getting on my nerves now! 894 00:44:23,570 --> 00:44:24,650 SHE LAUGHS 895 00:44:24,650 --> 00:44:27,850 They are living every man's dream, I would think. 896 00:44:27,850 --> 00:44:31,850 They sail round these gorgeous islands doing a pub crawl. 897 00:44:31,850 --> 00:44:37,090 They know every single pub on every single island and can rate it. 898 00:44:37,090 --> 00:44:38,490 Scotland's stunning. I mean... 899 00:44:39,530 --> 00:44:42,090 ..we originally, when we planned it, 900 00:44:42,090 --> 00:44:44,610 we were worried people might not want to stay on board 901 00:44:44,610 --> 00:44:47,330 all the time, so we planned walks along the coast. 902 00:44:47,330 --> 00:44:50,330 We can still do that - drop them off and pick them up. 903 00:44:50,330 --> 00:44:51,970 But they don't want to leave. No. 904 00:44:51,970 --> 00:44:54,130 They all tend to be birds-of-a-feather people that 905 00:44:54,130 --> 00:44:55,890 want to see the West Highlands, 906 00:44:55,890 --> 00:44:57,570 and perhaps of a certain age. 907 00:45:00,410 --> 00:45:01,410 What is the age group? 908 00:45:02,810 --> 00:45:05,930 We describe them as being Saga-aged. 909 00:45:05,930 --> 00:45:07,850 Perhaps 50 and over. 910 00:45:07,850 --> 00:45:11,090 Oh, my God, I'm Saga-age! There you are. Never! 911 00:45:11,090 --> 00:45:14,130 I don't believe it. I am. Get away! Oh, shut up. 912 00:45:14,130 --> 00:45:17,210 You're not even probably at the halfway mark yet, 913 00:45:17,210 --> 00:45:19,130 and each day you live - 914 00:45:19,130 --> 00:45:21,930 once you're over 60 - each day you live you live another 915 00:45:21,930 --> 00:45:25,410 seven hours - you add another seven hours to year life expectancy. 916 00:45:25,410 --> 00:45:29,290 Each day? Each day you add seven hours to your life expectancy. 917 00:45:29,290 --> 00:45:30,770 Really? Yep. 918 00:45:30,770 --> 00:45:33,450 So, if in the afternoon you can't be bothered doing anything you 919 00:45:33,450 --> 00:45:36,450 just say, "I've another seven hours tomorrow to do it." 920 00:45:36,450 --> 00:45:38,610 I love that. Andy, would you like some canapes? 921 00:45:38,610 --> 00:45:40,170 Yes, that would be nice. 922 00:45:40,170 --> 00:45:43,450 Do you want permission to come aboard? Permission to come aboard? 923 00:45:43,450 --> 00:45:46,850 Yes, come aboard. Thank you very much. Come aboard, Darren. 924 00:45:46,850 --> 00:45:48,410 Oh, look at this. 925 00:45:48,410 --> 00:45:51,330 Oh, I like it. What are you like? 926 00:45:51,330 --> 00:45:52,610 Can I have an olive? Yes. 927 00:45:52,610 --> 00:45:55,810 Thanks you. And I'll have a prawn. 928 00:45:55,810 --> 00:45:58,850 I'll have one of that and I'll have an olive. 929 00:45:58,850 --> 00:46:01,650 Thanks, Darren. Loving your work. 930 00:46:04,650 --> 00:46:07,090 Cheers, boys. Cheers, my dear. 931 00:46:07,090 --> 00:46:09,410 Thank you so much for a great time. 932 00:46:09,410 --> 00:46:11,170 That's all right. Our pleasure. 933 00:46:11,170 --> 00:46:13,290 You're not finished yet. I'm not? Right. 934 00:46:15,410 --> 00:46:17,570 Coming up, I have my own Bo Peep moment 935 00:46:17,570 --> 00:46:19,970 with the black sheep of the family. 936 00:46:19,970 --> 00:46:20,970 Aww! 937 00:46:23,250 --> 00:46:25,450 Aww! 938 00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:26,450 Hello. 939 00:46:36,510 --> 00:46:39,550 It's early morning on the final day of my Highland fling. 940 00:46:42,470 --> 00:46:46,150 Yeah, I went out like a light last night. Just boof! Gone. 941 00:46:46,150 --> 00:46:49,710 I think it was that whisky. Whisky at the sunset. 942 00:46:50,990 --> 00:46:54,230 I thought, "That's it, I'm done," so, yeah, I had a nice early night. 943 00:46:55,670 --> 00:46:58,630 Come in here, just chilled out, had the blinds up, 944 00:46:58,630 --> 00:47:01,550 watched the sun again. 945 00:47:01,550 --> 00:47:03,230 It's like having your private yacht. 946 00:47:05,630 --> 00:47:07,950 This is not fair, though, you know, for a woman of my age, 947 00:47:07,950 --> 00:47:09,470 because once you get up, you know, 948 00:47:09,470 --> 00:47:13,710 it takes your face about half an hour to fall into place. 949 00:47:13,710 --> 00:47:15,910 I'm not a morning person, that's my problem. 950 00:47:17,110 --> 00:47:20,670 I really don't like getting up in the morning, cos I'm a "turn". 951 00:47:22,030 --> 00:47:23,510 You're a what? A turn. 952 00:47:23,510 --> 00:47:25,950 A singer. That's what we call them. 953 00:47:25,950 --> 00:47:27,870 I'm a turn. 954 00:47:30,030 --> 00:47:31,750 Everything starts first thing. 955 00:47:31,750 --> 00:47:33,630 It's the quietest time of the day. 956 00:47:33,630 --> 00:47:35,990 Well, until George gets going. 957 00:47:35,990 --> 00:47:36,990 WHOOSHING 958 00:47:41,270 --> 00:47:42,790 Am I usually a late sleeper? 959 00:47:42,790 --> 00:47:44,710 You can't be when the generator... 960 00:47:44,710 --> 00:47:46,910 Can you hear the generator going brrrr? 961 00:47:46,910 --> 00:47:50,950 Well, that starts up at, like, seven o'clock in the morning, 962 00:47:50,950 --> 00:47:53,750 otherwise nobody's got any hot water, 963 00:47:53,750 --> 00:47:58,070 so it's like your alarm clock and you think, "Oh, right, here we go." 964 00:47:58,070 --> 00:48:00,910 It's nice, though. It's a different way of life, isn't it? 965 00:48:25,270 --> 00:48:28,390 Today, we're sailing from Bunessan in the south of Mull 966 00:48:28,390 --> 00:48:29,990 west to Ardalanish 967 00:48:29,990 --> 00:48:31,390 then back home to Oban. 968 00:48:38,670 --> 00:48:43,590 Ardalanish is a 1,500-acre farm set on a peninsula on the Isle of Mull. 969 00:48:44,670 --> 00:48:47,070 Owned by the same family for nine years, 970 00:48:47,070 --> 00:48:49,550 what a great location to live and work from. 971 00:48:52,110 --> 00:48:55,350 Oh, look at that. 972 00:48:55,350 --> 00:48:56,390 Oh, wow. 973 00:48:58,910 --> 00:49:00,630 Oh! 974 00:49:03,350 --> 00:49:05,630 Gosh, what a fabulous day. 975 00:49:05,630 --> 00:49:06,870 Fabulous view. 976 00:49:06,870 --> 00:49:10,310 This real estate must cost a fortune. 977 00:49:10,310 --> 00:49:12,310 You see, all I can think about is 978 00:49:12,310 --> 00:49:14,870 how many houses could you build on this? 979 00:49:14,870 --> 00:49:17,550 How many millions could you make with that view? 980 00:49:17,550 --> 00:49:19,430 You see, just a little shack down there, you know, 981 00:49:19,430 --> 00:49:22,070 because you wouldn't want to be here in the winter, would you? 982 00:49:22,070 --> 00:49:24,510 Because it would be absolutely freezing. 983 00:49:24,510 --> 00:49:27,390 So, I mean... But for summer, it would be perfect. 984 00:49:28,510 --> 00:49:32,710 You don't think you need to get some of those plug-in smelly things? 985 00:49:32,710 --> 00:49:35,310 God, it doesn't half pong up here. 986 00:49:35,310 --> 00:49:36,670 I must admit, the manure... 987 00:49:37,750 --> 00:49:39,910 Breathe it in, it's good for you apparently. 988 00:49:41,990 --> 00:49:44,030 Big breaths. 989 00:49:44,030 --> 00:49:45,350 I'm only 16. 990 00:49:50,150 --> 00:49:52,510 I'm so sorry, I've just got to that point... 991 00:49:52,510 --> 00:49:54,630 It's the fresh air, you see? I'm not used to this. 992 00:49:56,630 --> 00:49:58,910 It's a wonderful feeling, fresh air. 993 00:49:58,910 --> 00:50:01,150 It seems a bit of a Julie Andrews moment, 994 00:50:01,150 --> 00:50:02,830 but actually when I got here, 995 00:50:02,830 --> 00:50:05,430 I was out of breath when I ran up that hillock. 996 00:50:05,430 --> 00:50:07,670 So I thought, I'll just go and do some shopping instead. 997 00:50:07,670 --> 00:50:09,470 Come on. 998 00:50:09,470 --> 00:50:12,870 Mull is full of hidden gems like Ardalanish Weavers, 999 00:50:12,870 --> 00:50:16,910 a working sheep farm that is also a thriving weaving business. 1000 00:50:16,910 --> 00:50:19,190 These looms are more than 100 years old 1001 00:50:19,190 --> 00:50:21,990 and are perfect for producing traditional Mull tweed. 1002 00:50:21,990 --> 00:50:23,670 The sound is deafening. 1003 00:50:23,670 --> 00:50:26,750 CLATTERING 1004 00:50:26,750 --> 00:50:30,070 They produce gorgeous tweeds and knit using wool from their own herd 1005 00:50:30,070 --> 00:50:32,630 of sheep and other specialist providers 1006 00:50:32,630 --> 00:50:33,870 and there's a shop! 1007 00:50:42,750 --> 00:50:44,910 Oh, I love that. I love that on the wall. 1008 00:50:44,910 --> 00:50:46,190 Is that all your colours? 1009 00:50:46,190 --> 00:50:50,230 That is all our colours running from the Hebridean in the corner 1010 00:50:50,230 --> 00:50:52,430 all the way through into the Shetland wool 1011 00:50:52,430 --> 00:50:53,790 which is the pure white. 1012 00:50:53,790 --> 00:50:56,390 You wouldn't believe that there were that many coloured sheep. 1013 00:50:56,390 --> 00:50:57,990 There aren't. 1014 00:50:57,990 --> 00:51:01,550 We're using three basic colours of sheep which are the black Hebridean, 1015 00:51:01,550 --> 00:51:04,070 a Manx Loaghtan and white sheep 1016 00:51:04,070 --> 00:51:07,190 and then you blend to all the rest of the colours in the spinning. 1017 00:51:07,190 --> 00:51:11,190 Wow. That... I love the look of that. 1018 00:51:11,190 --> 00:51:13,150 So which... I know there's a black sheep, 1019 00:51:13,150 --> 00:51:16,510 but which is the Hebridean sheep colour? That's the black sheep. 1020 00:51:16,510 --> 00:51:19,030 I've never seen a pink sheep though. No. No. 1021 00:51:19,030 --> 00:51:20,670 They do go grey like we do, 1022 00:51:20,670 --> 00:51:23,430 but we take the grey bits away when we're sorting them. 1023 00:51:23,430 --> 00:51:25,030 I'm a bit upset to hear that 1024 00:51:25,030 --> 00:51:27,510 just because it's an older sheep, you get rid of the grey. 1025 00:51:27,510 --> 00:51:31,070 That's not nice. We don't get rid of it. Do you not? 1026 00:51:31,070 --> 00:51:32,630 We use it in the grey colours. 1027 00:51:32,630 --> 00:51:35,070 Oh! I'm with you. 1028 00:51:35,070 --> 00:51:37,230 The thing is, I would like a blanket or a throw 1029 00:51:37,230 --> 00:51:39,430 or something that I can put on. 1030 00:51:39,430 --> 00:51:42,150 We can manage that. Have you got some blankets? Yeah. 1031 00:51:42,150 --> 00:51:44,270 Just up at the end here. Yeah. 1032 00:51:47,150 --> 00:51:51,150 I could see myself tripping to the toilet in this. 1033 00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:52,510 I'm going to have this one. 1034 00:51:53,710 --> 00:51:55,390 BLEATING OUTSIDE 1035 00:51:55,390 --> 00:51:57,750 Did I just hear a little lamb? 1036 00:51:57,750 --> 00:52:00,110 Have we got a little lamb out here? 1037 00:52:00,110 --> 00:52:02,230 Aw! Baa! 1038 00:52:03,590 --> 00:52:04,950 Oh! 1039 00:52:04,950 --> 00:52:07,630 Hello. Hello. 1040 00:52:07,630 --> 00:52:11,150 So are these with their mother? No? No, these are orphans. 1041 00:52:11,150 --> 00:52:12,790 Aw! Yeah. 1042 00:52:12,790 --> 00:52:14,430 Are they orphans? Yeah. 1043 00:52:14,430 --> 00:52:16,430 Oh, no wonder you're crying. 1044 00:52:16,430 --> 00:52:18,390 Aw! 1045 00:52:24,230 --> 00:52:25,670 Mehh! 1046 00:52:25,670 --> 00:52:28,750 Look at the dog. He wants a bit of attention as well. 1047 00:52:28,750 --> 00:52:32,310 Shall we put these back in? Yeah. Right. 1048 00:52:32,310 --> 00:52:34,590 Right you're going to the beach now. Are you excited? 1049 00:52:34,590 --> 00:52:35,790 You're going to the beach. 1050 00:52:35,790 --> 00:52:37,390 DOG WHINES Yes. 1051 00:52:37,390 --> 00:52:40,870 The beach? Yes, I know. 1052 00:52:40,870 --> 00:52:44,310 Well, enjoy yourself at the beach. Oh, oh! 1053 00:52:44,310 --> 00:52:46,030 I love you. You're lovely, aren't you? 1054 00:52:46,030 --> 00:52:48,430 Yeah, I love you as well. Yes. 1055 00:52:48,430 --> 00:52:49,990 No, you can't kiss me. 1056 00:52:49,990 --> 00:52:51,150 Ta-ra. 1057 00:52:51,150 --> 00:52:53,310 LAUGHTER 1058 00:52:53,310 --> 00:52:55,430 Got me. You little tinker. 1059 00:52:56,670 --> 00:52:59,230 Any other dogs? Yes. Have you? 1060 00:52:59,230 --> 00:53:02,110 How many have you got? There's seven more in the back. 1061 00:53:02,110 --> 00:53:04,310 You're joking me. There's seven... 1062 00:53:04,310 --> 00:53:06,590 Seven dogs in the back of the van? Yeah. 1063 00:53:06,590 --> 00:53:09,990 There's definitely seven dogs in here? Lots of little noses. 1064 00:53:09,990 --> 00:53:12,110 Oh! Hello. 1065 00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:14,310 Hello. 1066 00:53:14,310 --> 00:53:15,750 Can we see the dogs? 1067 00:53:15,750 --> 00:53:17,550 # Who let the dogs out? # 1068 00:53:17,550 --> 00:53:20,510 It will be. Is it? Yeah, stand back. 1069 00:53:20,510 --> 00:53:22,470 Do you think we should? 1070 00:53:22,470 --> 00:53:24,830 You just know what's going to happen, don't you? 1071 00:53:25,950 --> 00:53:27,790 Right, here we go. Argh! 1072 00:53:27,790 --> 00:53:30,230 SHE LAUGHS 1073 00:53:30,230 --> 00:53:31,950 They want to go to the beach. 1074 00:53:35,070 --> 00:53:36,590 That's fantastic. 1075 00:53:36,590 --> 00:53:37,870 Oh, my God! 1076 00:53:37,870 --> 00:53:39,830 Come on! 1077 00:53:39,830 --> 00:53:41,790 I've seen this on the telly. 1078 00:53:41,790 --> 00:53:43,950 How do they do it now? CLICKS TONGUE 1079 00:53:43,950 --> 00:53:45,950 Come on, Pip! Pipsqueak! 1080 00:53:45,950 --> 00:53:47,590 Come by! That's it. 1081 00:53:47,590 --> 00:53:49,470 Come on, you. In there. 1082 00:53:49,470 --> 00:53:52,270 That one's hand signals only. He's deaf. 1083 00:53:52,270 --> 00:53:53,430 In. 1084 00:53:53,430 --> 00:53:54,630 Come by, come by. 1085 00:53:55,790 --> 00:53:57,350 That's it. You see? 1086 00:53:57,350 --> 00:53:59,230 Powerful, that's me. 1087 00:53:59,230 --> 00:54:01,870 That's absolutely brilliant. 1088 00:54:01,870 --> 00:54:03,470 I love that. 1089 00:54:05,750 --> 00:54:08,630 Coming up, it's my turn to help catch our last supper, 1090 00:54:08,630 --> 00:54:10,830 but thankfully, I don't have to go very far. 1091 00:54:12,270 --> 00:54:13,670 The honesty box. 1092 00:54:13,670 --> 00:54:15,110 You're joking. No. 1093 00:54:15,110 --> 00:54:16,990 "Please leave the money in the jar below." 1094 00:54:16,990 --> 00:54:18,190 That's fantastic. 1095 00:54:30,950 --> 00:54:32,990 I'm on the last day of my cruise round 1096 00:54:32,990 --> 00:54:35,310 the Isle of Mull in the Inner Hebrides. 1097 00:54:37,510 --> 00:54:40,270 Everything we've eaten has been locally sourced 1098 00:54:40,270 --> 00:54:42,470 and our final dinner is no different. 1099 00:54:42,470 --> 00:54:45,910 On tonight's menu, freshly caught mussels. 1100 00:54:45,910 --> 00:54:49,430 Hiya, skip. What are we up to? I'm away to collect your dinner. 1101 00:54:49,430 --> 00:54:51,310 Shall I come and help you? 1102 00:54:51,310 --> 00:54:53,470 I like this bit, this is my favourite part of it. Is it? 1103 00:54:53,470 --> 00:54:54,630 Yeah. 1104 00:54:54,630 --> 00:54:58,270 Scream if you want to go faster. Oh, stop it. Don't excite me. 1105 00:55:01,150 --> 00:55:03,350 So we're going to collect mussels, is that right? 1106 00:55:03,350 --> 00:55:05,270 Yes, from the mussel farm here. 1107 00:55:05,270 --> 00:55:08,630 They're grown here, hanging on these ropes. Oh, yeah? 1108 00:55:08,630 --> 00:55:10,990 So they're really going to be fresh, these, aren't they? 1109 00:55:10,990 --> 00:55:13,790 These are grade ! mussels which means they don't need to have any 1110 00:55:13,790 --> 00:55:15,830 filtration or ultraviolet light treatment. 1111 00:55:15,830 --> 00:55:18,750 You can eat them straight out of the sea. Wow. 1112 00:55:18,750 --> 00:55:20,750 So what's the difference? The water, obviously. 1113 00:55:20,750 --> 00:55:22,510 The water quality is the difference, yeah. 1114 00:55:22,510 --> 00:55:25,230 There's no septic tanks discharging into the sea here, 1115 00:55:25,230 --> 00:55:27,670 so it's just fresh water off the mountains. 1116 00:55:27,670 --> 00:55:30,710 Septic tanks? Eurgh... The other big thing is cattle. 1117 00:55:30,710 --> 00:55:32,910 If there's too many cattle on the land, 1118 00:55:32,910 --> 00:55:36,070 the effluent washes into the water and pollutes it as well. 1119 00:55:36,070 --> 00:55:37,830 What's effluent? 1120 00:55:37,830 --> 00:55:39,430 HE CHUCKLES 1121 00:55:39,430 --> 00:55:40,630 Cow dung. 1122 00:55:40,630 --> 00:55:43,270 Effluent? I've never heard it called that before. 1123 00:55:43,270 --> 00:55:45,670 Right, here we are. The drive-in mussel shop. 1124 00:55:47,670 --> 00:55:49,190 I'm very careful with mussels. 1125 00:55:49,190 --> 00:55:51,430 I had a dodgy one once and I think I know why now. 1126 00:55:51,430 --> 00:55:53,470 It was probably next to some cows. 1127 00:55:53,470 --> 00:55:55,670 Right, madam, let's go. 1128 00:55:55,670 --> 00:55:58,990 Oh... God, you've got the perfect life. Not bad, is it? 1129 00:55:58,990 --> 00:56:01,350 Saying that, it's not always this weather, is it? No! 1130 00:56:01,350 --> 00:56:02,390 It certainly isn't. 1131 00:56:02,390 --> 00:56:04,550 I've come to t' mussel farm. 1132 00:56:04,550 --> 00:56:05,870 I'm getting tonight's tea. 1133 00:56:05,870 --> 00:56:08,190 Ooh, surfs. Are there any people here? 1134 00:56:08,190 --> 00:56:10,230 Nobody. Nobody's here? 1135 00:56:10,230 --> 00:56:13,110 The honesty box. You're joking. No. 1136 00:56:13,110 --> 00:56:14,990 "Please leave the money in the jar below." 1137 00:56:14,990 --> 00:56:16,110 That's fantastic. 1138 00:56:16,110 --> 00:56:18,870 The fact that they want me to come and get some mussels with them... 1139 00:56:18,870 --> 00:56:20,190 That's a five kilo bag. 1140 00:56:20,190 --> 00:56:23,310 You know, pick up tonight's tea, I feel like I'm being a bit useful, 1141 00:56:23,310 --> 00:56:24,830 so I'm glad he's asked me along. 1142 00:56:24,830 --> 00:56:26,950 And we need that one. Right. 1143 00:56:28,350 --> 00:56:29,750 Blimey, these are heavy. 1144 00:56:29,750 --> 00:56:31,710 Money in the box. 1145 00:56:31,710 --> 00:56:33,910 Did you put enough in? Yeah. 1146 00:56:33,910 --> 00:56:37,870 I don't want this to be on camera, "Jane McDonald nicks mussels." 1147 00:56:37,870 --> 00:56:40,590 Is it ink that's in mussels? Is it... I don't know. 1148 00:56:40,590 --> 00:56:42,870 There'll be something good in mussels, I would have thought. 1149 00:56:42,870 --> 00:56:46,910 I think we'll have these as well, shall we? Oh, wow! 1150 00:56:46,910 --> 00:56:48,230 A langoustine. 1151 00:56:48,230 --> 00:56:51,270 Do you think it knows it's going to be eaten? 1152 00:56:51,270 --> 00:56:53,070 OK, let's take these to chef. 1153 00:56:53,070 --> 00:56:54,990 An honesty box, I love that. 1154 00:56:54,990 --> 00:56:58,270 It's fresh, caught today, there's no effluent in it, apparently, 1155 00:56:58,270 --> 00:57:01,150 and there's nobody saying have you got the right change? 1156 00:57:01,150 --> 00:57:03,350 You know, you just put your money in the jar, 1157 00:57:03,350 --> 00:57:06,590 pick up your fresh food and off you go. 1158 00:57:06,590 --> 00:57:08,870 Is there ink in mussels? There's everything. 1159 00:57:08,870 --> 00:57:11,150 I was going to say, I just made that up, I think. 1160 00:57:12,390 --> 00:57:14,670 I've never met such an amiable captain. 1161 00:57:15,990 --> 00:57:19,030 Really nice and he washes up and everything. 1162 00:57:19,030 --> 00:57:21,270 He does. He washes up. 1163 00:57:21,270 --> 00:57:25,310 He clears the dishes on the night, because there's only four crew. 1164 00:57:25,310 --> 00:57:27,110 So he does his bit. 1165 00:57:27,110 --> 00:57:28,710 I bet he's got really soft hands 1166 00:57:28,710 --> 00:57:31,670 because they're in Fairy Liquid a lot or any other... 1167 00:57:31,670 --> 00:57:33,070 ..washing-up liquid. 1168 00:57:34,870 --> 00:57:36,910 No, I mean, that's what I love about this crew. 1169 00:57:36,910 --> 00:57:39,670 No job is too big or too small for them. 1170 00:57:39,670 --> 00:57:43,550 All they want is for the guests to have the most enjoyable time 1171 00:57:43,550 --> 00:57:47,870 and I've seen the captain be up at, like, six o'clock in the morning 1172 00:57:47,870 --> 00:57:51,110 prepping everything for the meals for the day 1173 00:57:51,110 --> 00:57:53,670 and then up drinking with us 1174 00:57:53,670 --> 00:57:56,670 till probably one o'clock, two o'clock in the morning. 1175 00:57:56,670 --> 00:57:58,590 I don't know how they do it. 1176 00:57:58,590 --> 00:57:59,950 They're amazing, this lot. 1177 00:58:09,790 --> 00:58:13,470 Maggie is preparing us a real treat tonight - a seafood feast 1178 00:58:13,470 --> 00:58:16,590 and I know those mussels are effluent free, oh, yes. 1179 00:58:37,510 --> 00:58:39,150 It's a really special night tonight. 1180 00:58:39,150 --> 00:58:40,470 It's the last night. 1181 00:58:40,470 --> 00:58:42,070 We've all made a bit of an effort. 1182 00:58:42,070 --> 00:58:43,750 I've put some lipstick on for a change. 1183 00:58:45,910 --> 00:58:47,350 The weather's been amazing. 1184 00:58:47,350 --> 00:58:49,350 I've got to know everybody really well. 1185 00:58:49,350 --> 00:58:50,950 It's quite sad, really. 1186 00:58:50,950 --> 00:58:52,630 I could just do with another week. 1187 00:59:02,550 --> 00:59:03,790 Cheers, everyone. 1188 00:59:03,790 --> 00:59:05,030 What a fantastic time. 1189 00:59:05,030 --> 00:59:07,270 Thank you so much. Cheers! Cheers! 1190 00:59:18,150 --> 00:59:22,750 I think looking out to this, I think of my dad, really. 1191 00:59:24,750 --> 00:59:31,030 Because although he's been gone, he passed over in '93, 1192 00:59:31,030 --> 00:59:34,030 when you're somewhere as beautiful as this, 1193 00:59:34,030 --> 00:59:37,510 your loved ones, I feel, come around you. 1194 00:59:39,550 --> 00:59:44,070 And I just feel my dad has been on this journey with me. 1195 00:59:44,070 --> 00:59:45,230 Here's to you, Dad. 1196 00:59:57,990 --> 00:59:59,790 Just listen to that silence. 1197 01:00:23,510 --> 01:00:26,270 You know, there's not one cruise that I would know 1198 01:00:26,270 --> 01:00:28,950 where you would be on first-name terms with all the crew 1199 01:00:28,950 --> 01:00:32,870 and the staff and the captain and see them everyday like we do here. 1200 01:00:32,870 --> 01:00:37,110 This is definitely a treat and I can honestly see why the Queen 1201 01:00:37,110 --> 01:00:42,270 does this and has her own team of people and wants to sail 1202 01:00:42,270 --> 01:00:44,670 round these beautiful islands as much as she does, 1203 01:00:44,670 --> 01:00:48,870 because it is very royal and you feel like a queen 1204 01:00:48,870 --> 01:00:50,310 when you're going around this 1205 01:00:50,310 --> 01:00:53,590 because it's like a backdrop of a film. 1206 01:00:53,590 --> 01:00:55,390 It's just unbelievably beautiful. 1207 01:00:58,030 --> 01:01:01,230 So I'm glad that the Queen told us all about this. 1208 01:01:10,630 --> 01:01:14,390 After six glorious days, we are back on dry land 1209 01:01:14,390 --> 01:01:17,910 and I think I can just squeeze in one more shop. 1210 01:01:17,910 --> 01:01:20,870 Well, life on the ship is over for now, 1211 01:01:20,870 --> 01:01:22,470 but I've got one last thing to do. 1212 01:01:24,230 --> 01:01:27,870 I'm going to a tartan shop to get measured up for a kilt. 1213 01:01:32,790 --> 01:01:35,110 Waist. Put your arms back down for me. OK. 1214 01:01:35,110 --> 01:01:37,950 Thank you. Just relax. Keep your head straight. 1215 01:01:37,950 --> 01:01:39,950 OK. OK. Oh, hello. 1216 01:01:39,950 --> 01:01:41,230 What are you up to, Jane? 1217 01:01:41,230 --> 01:01:43,590 I'm getting measured for a kilt. 1218 01:01:43,590 --> 01:01:45,270 Can you just turn sideways for me? 1219 01:01:45,270 --> 01:01:47,310 Just rest this arm here. OK. 1220 01:01:47,310 --> 01:01:49,590 I'm just going to do a hip measurement. Right. 1221 01:01:49,590 --> 01:01:51,510 Because I'm Scottish and I haven't got a kilt. 1222 01:01:51,510 --> 01:01:52,910 That's bad, isn't it, really? 1223 01:01:52,910 --> 01:01:55,870 And I'm going to go from my grandmother's tartan in ode 1224 01:01:55,870 --> 01:01:59,270 to my grandmother because she used to, you know, dance and all the bit 1225 01:01:59,270 --> 01:02:02,670 in a kilt, so I'm going for the Ferguson tartan which is 1226 01:02:02,670 --> 01:02:07,030 my mother's name and not the McDonald because it's rather dull. 1227 01:02:08,150 --> 01:02:10,350 Do you realise that there's a lot of McDonalds 1228 01:02:10,350 --> 01:02:12,830 and you might insult them by saying it's a bit dull? 1229 01:02:14,070 --> 01:02:16,430 All right, that... The Campbells will be like, "Rah!" 1230 01:02:16,430 --> 01:02:18,630 cheering for you, but the McDonalds will be like that, 1231 01:02:18,630 --> 01:02:20,990 "She's cut out the will." I know. What will? 1232 01:02:20,990 --> 01:02:23,270 You just prefer the colours. Yeah. 1233 01:02:23,270 --> 01:02:26,710 Well, Ferguson or McDonald, it doesn't really matter. 1234 01:02:26,710 --> 01:02:28,870 I'm just thrilled to finally have my own 1235 01:02:28,870 --> 01:02:30,790 made-to-measure kilt from Scotland. 1236 01:02:32,870 --> 01:02:35,390 I absolutely love it. I love it. 1237 01:02:35,390 --> 01:02:36,790 And we got the pleats at the back. 1238 01:02:36,790 --> 01:02:39,390 It's fantastic. I'm very excited. 1239 01:02:39,390 --> 01:02:40,830 There you go. Yeah. 1240 01:02:40,830 --> 01:02:43,830 SHE HUMS A JIG 1241 01:02:43,830 --> 01:02:47,630 It's fantastic. Lovely. Thank you. 1242 01:02:47,630 --> 01:02:50,750 There, I've got my tartan, my Ferguson tartan, 1243 01:02:50,750 --> 01:02:52,710 and I think it's time for a wee song. 1244 01:03:02,230 --> 01:03:05,790 # I don't know if you can see 1245 01:03:05,790 --> 01:03:09,190 # The changes that have come over me 1246 01:03:09,190 --> 01:03:12,790 # In these last few days I've been afraid 1247 01:03:12,790 --> 01:03:17,790 # That I might drift away 1248 01:03:17,790 --> 01:03:22,190 # So I've been telling old stories, singing songs 1249 01:03:22,190 --> 01:03:25,670 # That make me think about where I came from 1250 01:03:25,670 --> 01:03:29,350 # And that's the reason why I seem 1251 01:03:29,350 --> 01:03:33,350 # So far away today 1252 01:03:34,670 --> 01:03:38,030 # Let me tell you that I love you 1253 01:03:38,030 --> 01:03:41,150 # And I think about you all the time 1254 01:03:42,270 --> 01:03:45,070 # Caledonia, you're calling me 1255 01:03:45,070 --> 01:03:49,670 # And now I'm going home 1256 01:03:49,670 --> 01:03:52,350 # But if I should become a stranger 1257 01:03:52,350 --> 01:03:56,670 # You know that it would make me more than sad 1258 01:03:56,670 --> 01:04:01,750 # Caledonia's been everything I've ever had. # 1259 01:04:38,590 --> 01:04:40,230 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 99687

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