All language subtitles for Ch5 Cruising Islands of the Med with Jane McDonald 1080p.eng

I'm Jane McDonald
and I love to cruise.

For 20 years,
the sea has been my home.

First below deck as
a cruise ship singer

and now above as a passenger.

I've learned the ropes...

..and now it's your turn.

I want to show you how to cruise
with confidence.

That's like "boom!" in my mouth!

We'll explore famous landmarks...

Wow, look at that.

..and uncover unique hideaways.

It's just magnificent.

So come on board with me
for a journey of discovery.

Cheers!

This time, the Dalmatian Coast
and 101 ways to have fun...

Oooh!

SHE LAUGHS

..I'll be taking in the sights
and sounds of Split...

I'm hearing angels.

One, two, three. Cheers!

..raising a glass of grappa
near Korcula...

Woohoo-hoo!

..then veering up to Venice,
where I'll go out with a bang.

SHE SCREAMS

A shining, ancient city rising
from shimmering blue waters.

More than a thousand years
of history,

enclosed by fortified medieval
walls.

Welcome to Dubrovnik, otherwise
known as the Pearl of the Adriatic.

It's also the starting point
for my latest cruise,

on a ship that holds
a special place in my heart.

I last sailed on her with
my late mum, 15 years ago.

So, as we take in some
unforgettable sights together

over the next seven days,

I'll be reliving some magical
personal moments.

First, the getting here,
which is easy.

Direct flights from
main UK airports

take just two and a half hours.

But once you've landed,
it's a different world altogether.

It really is charming.

It's exquisite. It's just...

All the words don't do it
justice here.

It's absolutely beautiful.

With only a few hours to go
before my ship sails,

I've headed straight to Dubrovnik's
atmospheric old town.

Built in the seventh century,

reconstructed after an earthquake
in the 17th

and looking as good as new
in the 21st.

All the buildings are like clean
and not a bit like ours!

It's as if they, erm, they
wash them down every night.

Although the streets
look like marble,

they're actually limestone.

I mean, I bet they're a nightmare
if they're wet,

but they just look so lovely
and clean.

To protect the charm of the place,

there are strict controls
on all new building work.

There are even rules on the shade
of green on the shutters

and the red on the roof tiles.

You can feel the history here.

It's like walking through
a film set.

And it is...sort of.

They filmed part of Star Wars:
The Last Jedi here.

And if you're a fan of the
Game Of Thrones TV series,

you'll probably
recognise these steps.

All that screen fame's helped boost
the local economy,

but it ain't half made it crowded.

It could just be the
Game Of Thrones popularity,

but there seems to be an awful lot
more money put into Dubrovnik now.

Saying that, the amount of tourists
that come here as well...

..that must be incredible for...

..for revenue as well.

Want to see as much of
a new city as you can

when you've only got limited time?

Head for a high spot.

Ooh. It goes quite fast, this thing,
doesn't it?

It means mean you can
escape the crowds too.

It's stunning, absolutely stunning.

This cable car takes you up
to a viewing station

half a mile from the ground.

Do you want to get in there
and get the shot?

It's OK. Yeah, thank you.

I'm getting pretty much
what I wanted to. Yeah? Good.

Without my real camera. Oh!

Although the view from this point
of Mount Srd is impressive,

I've been told the finest one of
all is just a few miles away.

Trouble is, you have to take
one of these to get there.

I'm going on a so-called
buggy safari

with my new friends,
David and Betsy.

You can book one online and
get collected near the top

of the cable car.

It's around 25 minutes
to the viewing spot

and we're in safe hands
with our driver, Nico.

Or so he assures us.

I'm up front.
Oh, this should be fun.

Can I just let you hold that for
a minute, Nico? Of course.

Oh, blimey.

Well, here we go.

SHE LAUGHS

Woohoo!

Ooh!
SHE LAUGHS

This bone-shaker of a ride's
definitely bringing out

the nervous passenger in me.

Oh, my God!

But then we are whizzing along
off road tracks at up to 40mph,

and did I mention
the, er, ventilation

on the windows and doors?

SHE LAUGHS
Oh, help!

Guaranteed to put some
grit in your teeth.

SHE LAUGHS

Yeah.

OK, here we are.

Oh, my goodness me, Nico. All good.

What you doing, man?

THEY LAUGH

Oh, good grief.

All I could hear is David
in the back going,

"Look at that beautiful view,"
and I'm thinking I'm going to die!

Well, I've been shaken
to within an inch of my life.

Let's hope it's all been worth it.

This is what this trip is all about.

It's about getting away from
all the crowds down in Dubrovnik

and getting up here.

I'm not having to fight for a spot
to take the best shot you can get.

And the air is so beautiful
and clean

and the view is just uninterrupted.

Oh...

Breathe it in.

From this incredible vantage point,
I can actually see my ship.

Which reminds me, it's leaving
in a couple of hours.

Ooh, I'm nearly there.
I'm nearly there!

Just got one tender to get on.
Hello. Hello, madam.

Good morning. How are you?
I'm very well. How are you?

I'm very good, ma'am.
Welcome on board. Thank you.

I'll get everything on board
when I get there. Yes.

Thank you very much.
Please watch your step.

This is a first for me.

I've never actually boarded
via tender before.

Bless you, thank you.
Careful, it's heavy.

It's heavy? Yeah...
Oh, God, you are strong.

Thank you very much.

I think I'll just go over here,
out the way.

That's it.

OK. I'm nearly there!

This is the last bit, you see,

it's the last push before I
can unpack this and, er...

..that's when I know I'm on my
holidays, when everything's hung up.

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, come on, let's go, let's go.

Coming up...

Bravissima!

..I go blowing bubbles in Venice...

SHE SCREAMS

..and visit the oyster capital
of the Adriatic.

Just fabulous. Just fabulous!

Welcome back to Dubrovnik,
jewel in Croatia's crown

and starting from me seven day
cruise on the gorgeous Adriatic Sea.

It's a shame to do it all on my own,
so how about coming with me?

Now, I've seen my share of
seas and oceans,

but this stretch really is
among the most breathtaking.

Even in September
it's warm enough to take a dip,

but it's the deep colour
that makes it unique.

It even has its own name -
Adriatic Blue.

No matter how many times
I get on a cruise ship,

I'm this excited, all the time,
because is just...

..something I have a passion for.

And one of the reasons for that is
the people I meet on board.

That are more than 350 passengers
on this one

and we're all in for a treat as
we explore 380 miles of coastline

over the next week.

Hello. Steps. Thank you.

Right, I'm on.

Woohoo-hoo!

Good afternoon, madam. Hello.
Welcome on board.

Would you care for some
welcome drinks?

No, I'm good. Thank you anyway.
Thank you very much.

Do not to just adjust your set,

you are watching
Cruising With Jane McDonald

and normal behaviour
will resume shortly.

Hello.

Thank you. Can I have your passport,
please? You certainly can.

Thank you.

Check in complete,
I'm off to view me cabin.

Oh, my goodness me.

Now, here's something that
takes me back 30-odd years.

Now, have you noticed,

I've gone straight behind the bar,
not in front of it?

Because this is where
I'm most at home!

Being a barmaid never leaves you.

Look at the size of this wardrobe!

You could have a dance in here,
couldn't you?

Separate toilet.

I like a good, solid door
on my toilet.

Call me old-fashioned...

..but, you know,
if someone's in the...

You down what I
mean? I don't like...

I like a door on my khazi,
and that's it.

So it's a tick for the toilet.

That just leaves the bed.

I'm going to do it!

Woo! I'm on my holidays!

From here, we'll be going
up the coast to Korcula

and visiting the oyster
capital of Croatia.

Then we'll sail up
the northern Adriatic

to pay a quick visit to Venice.

We'll head back down the Dalmatian
Coast to sample Split for a bit,

then round it all off in Montenegro
as we call into Kotor.

Morning! Thank you.

Right, after leaving Dubrovnik
overnight,

we've reached day two
and it's an early start.

The port of Korcula's too
small for us to dock in,

so the captain's dropped his anchor

and arranged a transfer
over by tender.

The perfect way to view the stunning
stretch of Dalmatian Coast.

It's so beautiful and
it's really worth getting up

at quarter to six
this morning for!

It really is worth setting
that alarm

and seeing a sunrise

and seeing a beautiful place
like this.

Thank you. Thank you very much.
Morning, ma'am. Morning. Morning.

Korcula's reputed to
be the birthplace

of the explorer Marco Polo,
and worth a visit itself.

But, today, it's just
our landing spot.

From here, our guide Petra's
whisking us off to a secluded bay

called Mali Ston,
famed for its oysters.

What we will do next is
go far away from here.

Our boat is over there - Marmo.

Let's go. Please follow me.

We're doing this leg of the
journey by boat and coach

and it'll take about an hour.

Plenty of time to chat with
my shipmates, MJ and David.

What are you expecting?

Well, I think it's probably
as Croatia used to be years ago,

it's been unspoilt. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Oysters, do you like them as well?
He doesn't.

No, I don't actually like them. I
like them. Do you not like oysters?

Oh, God. Do you know what?
It's like Marmite,

you either love them... Yes.

I don't dislike them, they
just don't taste of anything.

No. Sort of salt water. Yeah.

Crunchy salt water.

Oh! You're not...
You're not selling it!

The pristine bay of Mali Ston has
been a breeding ground for oysters

since Roman times.

But this place produces something
else, which, back then,

was even more valuable.

Long before the days of fridges,

salt was essential
for preserving food.

So the salt pools here were
considered so precious

they built a huge defensive wall
around them.

There's only one in the world
that's longer,

and that's the Great Wall of China.

The walls used to go all
around the city.

You will see the big kasteel,
the big fortress.

They used to go all around the hill,

protecting the fortress
all the way up there.

I don't know if you can see it,
where the flag is.

If you fancy a good walk,

you can do the whole length
of the walls on foot

for an £8 entrance fee.

Have you got your
running shoes with you?

No. Not for me, David.
Are you going to do it?

Yeah, I think so - this afternoon.
Yeah. Why not? Yeah.

You've had your oysters.
After a glass of wine.

Yeah, sounds good to me. Yeah.

I'll follow you.

SHE LAUGHS

Yeah.

Apparently it's the combination
of the salty water

and the mineral rich Neretva River

that make the bay ideal
for oyster breeding.

Ey-up.

It's OK. Got you. Thank you!

And now we're being taken out
to the beds themselves.

So these are the oyster...
Are these the...

..the pools? I think...

..the oyster pots are underneath.
Ah.

Yeah, sometimes they play music
in these. Do they?

It attracts the oysters. Yep.

You're winding me up, aren't you?
You're winding me up again!

Oh, what's this? Orange...
Sugar-covered orange peel

and sugared almonds. It's very
traditional. OK. Traditional sweet.

Tastes like home-made gummy bears.
Try it, it's good. Mm.

Ooh, that were lovely.

Local nibbles and Croatian grappa -
definitely my sort of ride.

Cheers. Cheers.

Oh-ho-ho!

Oh-ho-ho-ho! Oh, that's warmed
the cockles of my oyster. Yep.

Oh, my goodness me.

Couldn't you hear
the oysters before?

Yeah! Yep... I can hear
the music now. Yeah, yeah!

A ten-minute journey
and we reach our restaurant.

I'm told that one of
the old Austrian emperors

was so fond of the oysters
from this bay,

he had cases of them shipped to his
palace in Vienna, 560 miles away.

My fellow passengers, Charles
and Emily, are keen on them too

by the sound of it.

Are you a big oyster fan?
Oh, love 'em.

Why are you such a fan of them?

Just because they have such
a fresh taste, I guess.

We grow through
the Nature Conservancy

and the local university.

Time for lunch.

I'm just going to watch Charles,
that's all I'm gonna do.

And if he eats it, I'll eat it.

He eats anything.

He'll eat anything. Will he?

Now, the main event.

Ostrea edulis - that's European
flat oysters to you and me -

straight from the sea.

Is it good?

Delicious. Way!

Right, we can eat 'em.

You put a little bit of lemon on.

Right.

OK, time for my well-considered
and highly descriptive verdict.

Just fabulous.

Just fabulous!

They reckon Casanova could put away
50 of these with a lady friend,

but I'm settling for just a couple.

Well, I'm a long way from Ed!

Yeah, right, I'm on. Thank you.

Well, what a memorable afternoon
this has been.

Delicious food in one of Croatia's
best kept secrets.

I'm... I'm just...

It is paradise.

It's absolutely stunning.

I've never been to this place,
I've never even heard of this place.

But just look at it.

I feel like I just want to shut
the door on the world

and stay here,
just for a short time,

and just take it all in.

But I can't.

There's a ship ready to sail and
it ain't gonna wait for me.

On the plus side,
it's cocktail hour on board,

a good excuse for a drink
and a mingle.

See, being on a cruise is
all about being up here,

meeting new friends.

Hi. Hi. Do you mind if I join you?

Is that all right?
Sorry, I'm Jane.

Hi. Stuart. Stuart. Chris.

Chris. Nice to meet you. And you.

Oh, I like that look of that.
What's that?

BBC. BBC. Baileys, banana
and coconut.

What are you on? Mojito.

Mojito, that's a bit nice as well.
Yeah. Yeah.

So why did you book this trip?

This is one of the best ways
to go on holiday. Yeah.

You don't have to worry about
finding a restaurant,

finding a bar, you can
just get it all here. Yeah.

And the sun, as well, helps.

It's not bad, is it? No!

I surprised this one by planning
our renewal of wedding vows

on board as well. No! Yes.

Oh, congratulations! Thank you.
Thank you.

Oh, what a lovely thing to do.
Absolutely thrilled to bits for you.

I really am.

I'm gonna go and
get myself a BBC now!

And then probably a mojito.
Well, may as well.

All right. Thank you so much
for saying hello.

That's all right. It's nice to
meet you. And you're gorgeous.

Thank you so much. Thank you.
Thank you. See you later.

See you later. See you later. Bye!

Actually, I'll just one drink
as I need to be up early.

Overnight, we'll leaving
the Dalmatian Coast

and travelling 300 miles north to
somewhere a bit, mm, special.

MUSIC: La Donna E Mobile
from Rigoletto

Well, I keep my promises, don't I?

This, as if you need telling,

is Italy's and probably the
world's most romantic city.

A network of more than 100 islands,

crisscrossed by centuries old
man-made waterways.

Thanks. See you later!

Now, everywhere with
a couple of canals

thinks it's the Venice of that area.

But today, I'm in the real Venice.

And you can't help but fall
in love with this place.

I actually fell in love
with it a long time ago,

and have been lucky enough to
return again and again.

But if you're going for the first
time, here's a few dos and don'ts.

First, Venice attracts up
to 60,000 visitors a day,

many of them from cruise ships,
so do try and avoid the crowds.

Early morning and
late evenings are best

and it's wise to steer clear
in the summer.

Do visit St Mark's Square, and its
incredible 500-year-old piazza.

But avoid the cafes and
restaurants there

as the prices are even
more breathtaking.

Thank you. Ooh!

If you take a water taxi,
don't forget to duck.

Ooh, that is low! That is low.

Do take a walk over some of
the bridges,

especially the Rialto,
which spans the Grand Canal.

And, finally, don't miss the unique
experience of a Venice gondola,

a standard 25-minute private ride
during the daytime

costs around 80 euros.

Welcome back to my week-long tour
of the fantastic Adriatic.

I've stopped off on the Venetian
island of Murano,

home of the world famous glass.

Murano is less than a mile away
from actual Venice,

and it's where all the
Venetian glass is made

and it's been here since 1291.

1291!

That's incredible, isn't it, really?

So this is quite exciting for me
cos I love glass

and I love chandeliers and...

Well, I think you all know
I like a chandelier.

I've taken a private taxi,

but you can hop on the water bus
in St Mark's Square

and be here within 40 minutes.

It's home to around 70 factories,
producing the finest glass pieces,

using centuries old techniques.

A few will even let
you see how it's done.

Ooh, you're strong.

Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Bye.

I'm at the Fornace Mian workshop,

where I'm meeting up
with sales manager Indrit

and his team of master craftsmen.

This is the part in
which the magic start.

Yeah. OK?

Hello. Buongiorno! Buongiorno.

This is Paolo. Paolo.
He's our best master.

Oh, such an honour to meet you.

An honour.

Oh, this is... This is the... Oh!

He's the master, the grand master.

I've seen glass-blown before,

looks a bit like making candyfloss.

The masters work with no gloves, OK?
Wow.

They use newspapers, old newspapers,
and they just shape it.

They feel the glass
with this newspaper.

That molten glass is 1,100 degrees,
by the way.

11 times hotter than boiling water.

Paolo started working with glass
when he was just ten years old,

and he's been a master
since he was 16.

Ooh!

With the same tools that have
been used for centuries,

it takes him four days to make
a distinctive Murano chandelier.

Gosh, that's amazing.

I can see it starting to
transform before my eyes.

SHE CHUCKLES

Oh, wow!

Those six decades of practice
certainly show.

That is...

I never thought that was
how you made that.

Wow! And if you put, like,
your hand like this...

Ah! ..you can feel the temperature.
That's so hot.

That is incredible.

The finished piece now has to
temper slowly in a cooler oven

so it doesn't shatter.

While it's doing so...

Now is your turn to try this out,
OK? Me?

Let's go and blow it.

It's the Generation Game.

Blow, blow, blow, yeah?

OK. Please.

I'm sure there's a joke
to be made about this,

but I'm just too busy
concentrating on the job.

Very good, very good.

Bravissima!

Bravissima.

OK. OK.

Oh! Very good of you.
Believe me, it's hard to do it.

Lungs of a singer!

SHE SCREAMS

SHE LAUGHS

My best compliments, believe me.
Oh, thank you very much.

There are masters which
are not able to do it. Really?

They haven't enough power.

THEY LAUGH

Bravissima.

Grazie mille. Grazie mille.

Well, I won't forget that
experience in a hurry.

SHE LAUGHS

HE SPEAKS IN ITALIAN

And if the voice ever packs up,

I reckon Paolo'll take me
on as his apprentice.

Oh!

After showing me how it's made
at one of the factories,

sales manager Indrit's taking me
to the shop next door

to see some of
the finished products.

Oh, my goodness me. Look at this!

Oh, I'm in chandelier heaven.

Oh, wow!

Look at this one.

Gosh...

I daren't even touch anything.

This is incredible.

Wow.

Some of these chandeliers
are even not for sale,

are just like a museum.

I can see why.

When Murano glass production was
at its peak about 500 years ago,

the super rich Venetian merchants
would come here to buy

the next showstopper
for their homes.

Ooh! Look at this one, I love that.

Oh. This one... Yeah. ..you will see
it also in another one.

The technique, that is
called Rezzonico. Rezzonico.

Rezzonico, it... Well, in the past,
the factories was owned

by the aristocratic families.

There was the familia Rezzonico,
the familia Delfino,

so they used to have
also their own symbol.

Just fancy being that wealthy

that you've got
your own glass-maker.

I mean, that is wealth.

It is exquisite.

There's room after room of
these amazing handcrafted pieces.

And just when you think it can't
get any more jaw dropping...

SHE GASPS

Oh, look at this!

This is our masterpiece.

Oh, it's incredible.

And so beautiful.

I mean, beautiful doesn't do
it justice, does it?

It's exquisite and unique,
I would think.

It's one of a kind.

After seeing, close-up, how pieces
like this are put together,

thinking of those incredibly
skilled craftsmen I met,

who do it all by hand
in searing temperatures,

it all makes me a bit, well...

SHE LAUGHS

It's just incredible to
see talent so beautiful.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry,
it's quite overwhelming.

Thank you. This is what
we love in our job. Oh!

You, like people that get
lost in their emotions.

We're midway through
this latest cruise,

and as we've spent so much
time on land,

I'm looking forward to
some time on the ship.

We're sailing more than
300 miles south to our next stop,

so there's plenty of opportunity to
relax and take it easy.

SHE EXHALES

There is just something
about being at sea

that makes me feel so good.

Go see if anybody else
feels like me.

Can I join you for a little bit?
Of course.

How long have you been on?

Since Thursday. Thursday.
Is this friend or relative?

Oh, I'm her daughter. Oh, lovely.

But you're enjoying it? Yes, lovely.
Yeah.

I like it cos wherever you go,
you don't see crowds of people.

That's true, innit?
I don't know where everyone is.

I don't...
I'm not bothered, are you?

No!

THEY LAUGH

I always get a feel good sensation
whatever boat I'm on,

but this one stands out
from the rest.

I'm going to share
something with you.

The ship is extremely
special to me...

..due to the fact that...

..it was the first cruise
that my mum and I came on

and it was on this very, very ship

and I wanted to come back and see...

..and remember.

It's just got great memories.

Great memories.

And it's funny because
I wondered how I would feel, erm,

cos it isn't long since I've
lost my mum and I thought,

am I going to be really upset,

coming back on and reliving
it all, that I did with Mum?

But, actually, it's not,
it's filling me with joy,

of such a great time that we had,
you know, we were quite wild.

My mother was a bit of a wild one.

And it was great fun.

And just seeing and remembering
her in this restaurant,

on the captain's table,

drinking fantastic drinks
and enjoying life

and watching her laugh.

I've got great memories
of this lounge.

And you have your own place.

I mean, me and my mum used to
sit at this table,

this very... This is where
my mum used to sit...

..in this very seat...

..and drink her whisky.

Eee, we had some good times on
there.

Right, our journey
from Venice is nearly done

and we're pulling
into our next stop -

Croatia's second largest city,
Split.

The port's right near the centre
of the city,

which is handy if you haven't got
long to see the sights.

Oh, morning!

The ship's laid on an excursion,

led by Haroche,
or Harry to us tourists.

I always find it best to use
a local guide.

There's no time wasted,

they just take you straight
to the most interesting spots.

Today, we're going to focus mostly
on the ancient Roman palace.

We won't be exploring ruins,

but intact structures
which are fully inhabited.

The Roman emperor Diocletian built
the palace 1,700 years ago.

Incredible to think he would've
entered it through this very gate.

Oh, gosh, I didn't expect this,
did you?

When you hear "palace" you do tend
to think of one big fancy building,

but this one's very different.

Inside the original Roman walls
is a three-acre complex

and it contains more than 200
newer buildings, including churches,

apartments, cafes and businesses,

all lining the maze of streets.

Behind me is the biggest
bell tower in Dalmatia.

66 metres or 200 feet.

And it took us 200 years
to build it,

from the 13th to the 15th century.

In Roman times, the leaders allowed
their people to take refuge

in here from hostile forces.

Today, the palace
is still home to thousands.

Not Romans or refugees,
just very lucky locals.

This is where people live
in the palace today.

Even in winter time
when there is no tourism,

it's still a living place.

And what I like about Split
most of all is that locals

are still in the old town.

Sure, we have plenty of people
visiting us today,

but the locals are still here.

The prices are still more than
reasonable and we like it here.

It feels good being
in the Roman palace.

And if you want proof that this
really is a living, breathing palace

rather than some dusty,
ancient relic,

take a look at this -
very Yorkshire!

You know, there's something
quite heart-warming

to see somebody's washing out

in a palace because the
commoners are allowed to live here.

And I think that's brilliant.

Get your doors open,

get your washing out.

You're very welcome.

RELIGIOUS CHOIR MUSIC

There's no entrance fee
to the palace complex.

But you do have to pay to go
inside some buildings

like the bell tower and cathedral.

RELIGIOUS CHOIR MUSIC CONTINUES

Mind you, you do get a free
soundtrack.

I'm hearing angels.

When I hear singing,
I have to find the source.

What a treat this is.

This is busking split style,
big, bold and brilliant.

You'll find them here most days
during the summer season.

And the acoustics in this
preserved Roman vestibule -

that's the emperor's waiting room -

are just perfect for
these glorious voices.

APPLAUSE

You could spend hours here - walk,
eat, drink, stop for a chat

with the odd centurion.

And if you don't like crowds,
I'd avoid the middle of the day.

And if you come at night,
don't worry about closing time

cos the gates are always open.

I absolutely love this place
cos it's steeped in history.

It reminds me a little bit of
York but with a lot more sunshine.

But now it's time to SPLIT
from sunny Split

for the last leg of my journey.

Coming up, marvellous Montenegro.

We're going to visit that
little island, there,

cos there's a story
why this is there -

the place where miracles are made.

Oh, we do love a legend.

I'm in the final stages
of my cruise on the Adriatic -

seven days of see, sun and
unsensational sights.

We've experienced some of the best

that northern Italy and Croatia
have to offer.

But now we're sailing further south
and saying hello to Montenegro

and its magical Bay of Kotor.

Now, we've filmed us sailing away
from lots of beautiful ports

in this series,

but if you want to know
what it's like sailing into one,

just look at this.

Dawn's only just broken,

but no-one wants to miss
our arrival in the bay.

I'll be saying goodbye to
the ship here,

but it's leaving me
with a view I won't forget.

It is breathtaking.

And speaking of breath, the air
here is just so clear and so pure...

BREATHES DEEPLY

..and you feel like it's
doing your lungs good.

I have to say, I've done many, many
trips, but this coastline, for me,

is up there in the top three.

It's just stunning.

Every port I've gone into has been

breathtaking and
memorable and beautiful.

And it's a wonderful,
wonderful trip.

Along with its neighbour,
Croatia, Montenegro was part

of the former Yugoslavia.

It only has a
population of 620,000.

And it feels wonderfully
off-the-beaten tourist track,

for now at least.

Thank you very much.

Enjoy your stay. Oh, we will.

I've got a whole day to explore it.

So, I've booked the excursion
everyone raves about.

We're on a 20-minute drive
up the coast, a short journey,

but this is only the first leg.

We've now arrived in
somewhere called Perast.

And this is Boka, which means Bay.

And we're going to visit
that little island, there,

because there's a story
why this is there.

It's called Our Lady of the Rocks

and it has just enough room
for one small church

and an even smaller museum.

You can easily catch a boat over to
it from the jetty on the waterfront.

There are loads of them
crisscrossing the bay all day.

Now, apparently, this island
was man-made.

And the legend goes that on
a summer's evening in 1452,

sailors saw the image of the
Madonna on a rock here.

So, they made an oath at the end
of a voyage,

and at the same time every year,

to bring more rocks
to this spot as an offering.

Over the centuries,

all those rocks piled up
on top of each other

began to emerge from the sea.

And this island was formed.

And every July the 22nd at sunset,

there's an annual ritual called
fasinada

when locals come here in boats of
all shapes and sizes

and throw more rocks
into the water.

Oh, we do love a legend.

The Catholic Church of Our Lady
of the Rocks was built on the ruins

of the original Orthodox
one were nearly 300 years ago.

Inside, the Carrara marble altar
features

a priceless 15th century
icon of the Madonna herself.

Up to 10,000 people a day come here
to visit and worship every summer.

If you want to join them, do
be aware of local sensitivities.

The entire island is
considered a holy place,

so you'll need to dress
appropriately.

No bikini tops and shirts or
t-shirts for men are a must.

This island in front is called
St George's Island

and it houses a monastery.

The locals call it
the Island of the Dead

because they all say it's cursed.

But I think it's just to
keep us all out.

JANE LAUGHS

What a completely charming place.

It might be Montenegro's most
visited site,

but it's felt like another world.

Late afternoon and I'm back
on the mainland.

The heat's starting to subside,
so it's the perfect time

to take a stroll around the old
walled town of Kotor before I go.

It's one of the best
preserved settlements

from the Middle Ages.

Oh, ey.

You can just imagine this
bustling city or town...

..all those years ago
in medieval times.

I don't think it's changed
that much, actually.

Oh, look at this lovely church.

So, this is obviously the
cathedral of the city.

And, you know what I'm living
about this -

it's welcoming.

It's understated.

I mean, some of the fantastic
churches we've seen in Venice

and Dubrovnik are like,
"Whoa! I'm here."

This one is saying,

"Why don't you come in and sit
down and a little pray?"

It is absolutely lovely.

It's a maze of narrow streets
with pretty shops and cafes.

And the mixed architecture reflects
all the nations that have claimed

ownership over the centuries.

Greeks, Romans, Venetians, Turks,
they've all been here,

as has another group of people
known for getting about a bit.

Is that a Wakefield accent? Yeah,
Manygates Lane. Manygates Lane.

My gosh, I could walk it to
your house from mine. Yeah, yeah.

Hark at us, hark at us
from Wakefield.

JANE LAUGHS

It's our 50th wedding
anniversary celebration.

Oh, congratulations to the both of
you. I'm sorry, what's your name?

Jacqui. Jacqui and... Graham.
And Graham.

Really nice to meet you.

What do you think of Montenegro?

Oh, it's lovely, isn't it?

Old and olde worlde. Yeah. Yeah.

It's lovely. It is. Lovely little
narrow streets.

Yeah, they're lovely, aren't they?
They're like York. Yeah.

And they just see the
ambience of the place is gorgeous.

Walking around, you feel safe. Yes.

And it's warm. Oh, I know.

Well, I hope I'll see you in
Wakefield sometime. So do we.

Happy anniversary. Thank you.
Have a wonderful time.

Thank you. See you later.

Bye. Bye.

Well, what a lovely
surprise that was

at the end of a journey
that's been full of them.

From Dubrovnik to Venice,
from Split to Kotor,

I've loved every minute.

As for the ship itself, it's
brought back personal memories

and created a whole set
of new ones.

And that's what cruising's about,

getting out there and
making memories while you can.

# It's now or never

# Come hold me tight

# Kiss me my darling

# Be mine tonight

# Tomorrow will be too late

# It's now or never

# My love won't wait

# When I first saw you

# With your smile so tender

# My heart was captured

# My soul surrendered

# I'd spend a lifetime

# Waiting for the right time

# Now that your near

# The time is here at last

# It's now or never

# Come hold me tight

# Kiss me my darling

# Be mine tonight

# Tomorrow will be too late

# It's now or never

# My love won't wait

# It's now or never

# My love won't wait. #

It's like climbing Mount Zuvis.

What?
JANE LAUGHS

It's Vesuvius. Vesuvius.

JANE CHUCKLES

This time, Greece is the word,
and I'm setting sail for seven days

of summer lovin'.

I love my life, yes!

Leave me here.

I'm hopping my way around five
Aegean islands,

each of them stunning,

all of them strictly Greek.

I can't work out my
left and my right.

What is the matter with me?

From the splendour of Santorini...

It's absolutely breathtaking.

..to the madness of Mykonos.

It's like Wakefield Casanova's
all over again.

This is an adventure packed
with history, culture

and gorgeous blokes.

He just caresses, teases
and it just opens up.

And at the centre of it all,
this jewel of the seas.

So hop on board with me and discover
your inner Shirley Valentine.

Cheers.

Welcome to Athens.

It's the capital of Greece
and the perfect place

to start my epic adventure.

It's also one of the world's oldest
cities, steeped in history.

I'd love to explore it all,
but I've only got a few hours.

It's July and it's 34 degrees

and it's too hot to travel
anywhere on foot.

So I'm going to Segway into
the next little bit.

I've heard that one way to see
the city without breaking

into a sweat is on a
guided Segway tour.

Looks quite hard.

It's not, it's natural,

and everything is
controlled by your body.

Yeah, that's what my problem is.

My body is out of control.

BOTH LAUGH

No, don't worry. Anybody can do
that. Right.

Lean. There we... Hey!
I'm not doing anything.

You're doing it.
JANE CHUCKLES

So how are you going to stop?

Perfecto. I like that smile.

Yeah. Am I a natural on this? Yes.

I'm doing this, look at
this, look at this.

This is the best thing ever.

No walking, no chafing.

I love it. You can
really whiz. It's fab.

The Segway was developed
back in the '90s.

It's self balancing, which
means it's hard to fall off,

even if you're as clumsy as me.

It floats along at 12mph,
so you get a lovely breeze

while you take in the highlights.

Plus, you get to pack in loads
more of this historic city

in a short space of time, starting
with the fabulous Arch of Hadrian.

During the 2nd century AD, Athenians
has decided to build an arch

in order to honour
the Roman emperor.

What's it made of? Stone?

It's made of marble. Marble? Yeah.

We've got a Marble Arch
in England as well.

This one is 1,700 years older
than the one in London.

It was built to commemorate
the Roman emperor Hadrian's

visit to Athens.

So, let's go to our next stop.

OK! Thank you!

Next, the Panathenaic Stadium,

the only one in the world built
entirely out of marble.

It hosted the first modern
Olympic Games way back in 1896.

Then, we're on to the wonderful
Temple of Olympian Zeus,

the top dog when it comes
to Greek gods.

And finally, it's a quick whizz
to check out Athens'

most famous landmark of all.

Wow, look at that!

Gosh!

So is this the Parthenon
or the Acropolis?

Actually, in Greek, Acropolis means
"the upper part of the city",

so this whole is
the Acropolis of Athens.

But the main temple
is called Parthenon

and it was dedicated to Athena.

And she was a virgin. Yeah?

Actually, Parthenon in Greek means
"The temple of the virgin".

Do you have to be either a virgin
or a goddess to get in there?

Yeah. Only the priestess
or the goddess... Really?

..could enter the temple.

I better stay down there, then!
JANE LAUGHS

You know, I'm going to be honest.

History was never my thing
at school.

But actually being here,
I've learned more about Greece

in one day than I ever did
at school.

That says a lot, doesn't it?

Bye!

This fabulous tour is over -
and I've cooled down a treat.

MAN: It's pretty easy.

Ooh, there's a familiar accent!

Sorry to interrupt. You've got to be
from Yorkshire. I am, yeah.

Have you come out here on holidays?

Yeah. Well, it was
our other daughter's wedding...

Yeah. ..on Santorini. Ooh!
You know the island?

I'm going to Santorini.
Is it fabulous?

It's stunning. Yeah. Best ever.
Really? Our favourite island...

The sunsets are awesome.
GASPS: Fantastic!

You'll love it. You'll love it.
It's amazing. Fabulous!

Sunset in Santorini sounds divine.

Time to get on board the ship
that's going to take me there.

I'm spending the next seven days
island-hopping on this girl.

She's the same one that took me
around Cuba last year.

I am going to take you back
on the Celestyal Crystal

and show you all the top tips.

Come on!

On this week-long cruise,
we'll be setting sail from Athens,

heading to the party island
of Mykonos.

Then we mellow out in Milos,

before taking in sizzling Santorini.

After that, we'll sample
some culture in Crete

and finally steer in towards Samos.

SING-SONGY: Off we go!

Hello! Welcome on board.
Thank you very much.

Ooh!

Here it is - my cabin.

It's compact, clean and practical.

It sleeps four and
there's a smart en-suite.

Ey, they've spruced this up,
haven't they, since Cuba?

It's definitely had a bit
of a nip and a tuck.

And let's be honest -
wish I could have said the same!

Now, there are two types
of cruising.

One is luxury everywhere,
drinking champagne

and watching the world go by
from your balcony -

and practically never
getting off the ship -

or there's this type of cruise,
and this is a destination cruise.

This is where you've got
an extremely functional cabin

which is clean and the staff
are great,

but it's all about the destination.

It's time to get
this adventure started!

There is something really magical
about every single sail away

because everybody is out here,
drinking a cocktail.

It's their first day of the cruise,
they're on holiday,

and it's goodbye, Athens,
and it's stin iyia mas!

Cheers!

We're on a holiday! Yes!

Coming up, I dust off
me dancing shoes

for a sparkling night
out in Mykonos...

CHEERING

..and I get to take in that
incredible Santorini sunset.

I'm not here on me own.

Just look at that.

My Greek island-hopping cruise
is well under way.

Day 2, and I'm reacquainted
myself with my old friend,

the Celestyal Crystal.

This is me camera on a stick,
so I don't need you.

I'll just go off with you, so we can
have a little look round and...

WHISPERS: Take the morning off.

So I'm off. Should we go?

There are ten decks housing
nearly 500 cabins,

meaning they can squeeze
1,200 passengers onboard.

And with a gym, sauna
and beauty centre,

there's plenty to keep them all
busy between stops.

Hello! How are you doing?

That's the restaurant.
That's a very popular place.

Thank you, as always.

There are, in fact,
three restaurants to choose from.

If you don't fancy going to
the full dressed-up restaurant,

this place, you can eat in any time,
but you are guaranteed...

If you come in for
a little plate of pasta...

..you'll still end up
having three courses!

JANE LAUGHS

People are very friendly on ships.

And I love this theatre
because it's very...

It's very like a cabaret club.

Nice to see you again! Thank you.

Still looking fabulous!

Oh, thank you! Thank you!
JANE LAUGHS

Shore Excursions - very, very busy.

Everybody signing up now.

Little tip again.

You know, if you really, really do
want to visit somewhere,

go online and make sure you do it
before you get here.

And this cruise really is about
exploring the destinations.

Talking of which,
we've reached our first -

the island of Mykonos,
100 miles away from Athens.

You've just caught me flicking
through me tweets, haven't you?

I've put a little message out
on Twitter

to see what to do in Mykonos,

and I got some lovely replies back.

One from Snazzle2323 -
"Mum's just come back from there

"and sat each night where
Shirley Valentine did by the sea."

So that would be nice
to recreate that.

Lesley Green - "Absolutely,
shopping, shopping." Er...

"Mykonos is a bit lively."

According to this, it's fantastic
beaches, great restaurants,

fabulous shopping through the day,
and then...boom!

It's party time!

Mykonos... Lots of people
saying on here Jackie O's

and a place called...SantAnna.

SantAnna.

So I'm going to try and get to
at least one of those

to have a bit of a night out.

I'm looking forward to it!
Do you fancy it?

Come on, you know you want to!

And you SHOULD fancy it because
this place is simply fabulous.

It's the Saint-Tropez
of the Greek islands.

But before we check out
the night-time clubbing,

time for some daytime shopping.

Just to let you know that
Mykonos Old Town

is all pedestrianised.

So if you get dropped off
by the bus,

it can't get you right into
the centre,

so make sure you've got some
really comfortable shoes on

because you'll be doing
an awful lot of walking -

not these like I've got.

No pain, no gain, though.

And there are loads of little
designer boutiques to explore.

So I might just have a look
in this shop!

Just be sure to bring
some smelling salts.

Look at these sparkles!

How much is that?

Well, that's 2,500.

2,500? Yeah.

2,000 quid for a sparkly top?

That's more than you'd pay for
this whole cruise!

It's class.

1,909? Yes.

Those are a bit short-shorts,
aren't they?

They're 935....

935 euros?!

Do you know what I feel like?

I feel like I'm in that
Pretty Woman film.

You know, where they're going to
kick me out at any minute!

And you know what? They should do.

If they know how much I got in
my purse, I wouldn't have got in!

Sadly, there's no sign of
Richard Gere popping up

and spoiling me rotten, so I'm off
to drown my sorrows

with a cheeky afternoon cocktail.

This bar is one of
the most exclusive in Mykonos.

It's called the Kitrino Bar -

and it means yellow!

Who knew that? Who knew?

So just come, come and have a little
cocktail. That's what I'm doing!

I love my life! Yes!

Leave me here!

This is where all the celebrities
hang out.

And as if by magic, this morning,
it's Gemma Bissix!

Hello, darling! How are you?

Fancy seeing you here. Fancy?
What are you doing here?

We just got married. You're joking!

Can I see it? Please do.

Well, if this place is good enough
for Clare Bates off EastEnders,

then it's good enough for me.

And this is Kristian...
Hello, Kristian. Hi. ..my husband.

Ooh, do you like saying like that?
I do like it, yeah!

It's fabulous, isn't it?
So you just got here? Yeah.

Couple of hours ago. Why Mykonos?

Well, we came two years ago
with our first daughter, Juliet,

and then saw it sort of
from the family perspective.

And we thought we wanted to come
and get involved in the sort of

party side of it. So you're here to
party? I think so, this time.

It's just the most beautiful place.
It's one of our favourite places
in the whole world, isn't it?

I mean, we absolutely love...
We love Greece in general... Yeah.

..but Mykonos itself - the island,
the service, the people -
it's just fantastic.

Congratulations. Thanks, Jane.
Thank you very much.

All the best, my lovely!
And you, too, sweetheart!

See you later.
Have a nice time. Bye!

I'll go blend into some furniture.

As night falls, this island
truly comes alive.

And with the luxury of
an overnight stay here,

you can really get involved
in the legendary party scene.

I can't believe it -
I'm going clubbing!

It's like Wakefield Casanovas
all over again!

This place describes itself
as the ultimate beach club,

which is no more than you'd expect
when you're paying a shedload

for the drinks.

CHEERING

But the music's pumpin',
everybody's dancing,

so why not let your hair down
and have a blast?

Tell you what,
I crammed a lot in today.

But to be honest, I'm going back in
for a cuppa tea on the ship!

It's Day 3, and after
the mayhem of Mykonos,

we've got a three-hour pit stop on
sleepy Milos.

This, to me, is real Greece.
It's tranquil,

it's a fishing village
and it's unspoiled.

So, it's the perfect place to catch
your breath, relax and unwind.

Do you know what?
Milos, this lovely island,

is known as the "island of colours"
thanks to its dual-coloured waters -

so it says here. But, not only that,
the Venus de Milo

was actually discovered here.

And if you don't know what
I'm talking about, it's this.

And of course, she got transported
over to Paris, to the Louvre,

and I'm wondering if that's
when her arms fell off -

because, let's be honest,

there weren't any bubble wrap
in them days, were there?

Well, the Venus de Milo
may be in Paris now,

but there's still plenty
to see here.

The volcanic rocks create
an explosion of colour

and the harbourside is perfect
for a wander.

Then we're back on the ship for the
overnight sail into Santorini,

where I'll have two whole days
to take in the sights.

SIGHS: Heaven!

Good morning,
dreamy, dreamy Santorini!

Now, listen. It weren't so dreamy
many, many years ago because...

I know it's hard to believe this,

but we are actually sailing
in a volcano.

It's a dormant one, thank goodness,

but all this is all the rim
of the volcano.

Many, many years ago, the African
plate met the Greek plate

and it had a bit of a...
Woo! ..boom.

Out of all that catastrophe
came such beauty.

GASPS: Let's go and explore!

Thank you! Thank you.

To get to shore, you need to hop on
a smaller boat called a tender.

They run all day, but it's best
not to come too early.

These are very, very busy,

especially first thing in the
morning and last thing at night,

when it's coming back.

Around lunchtime, which is now,
it's nearly empty.

So, you can always get a nice little
travel with not too many crowds.

Oh, yeah!

And make sure you check the boards
for the last trip back to the ship.

You really don't want to miss that
unless you're a very good swimmer.

My first day here is
all about sightseeing,

and I'm in good company.

Millions of tourists visit
Santorini every year,

making it one of the most popular of
all Greek destinations after Athens.

We're 'ere in 'ere.
It's called 'ere here.

Santorini is named after a saint
called Irene - Saint Irene...

Ey, I know an Irene
and she's no saint, I can tell you.

So come on, Irene!

It's a busy place and you can't
get anywhere in a hurry,

so...just go with the flow.

Actually, going at this pace
is quite nice

cos you don't miss anything either.

Now, we're here today in
the most photographed place ever.

Every photograph, every TV show,

every single person who comes to
Santorini wants this shot,

and you'll see why.

JANE GASPS
Oh, it's... It is absolutely...

It's absolutely breathtaking.
It's absolutely beautiful.

All the blue domes,
and I've seen that...

..so many times.

This island's often been voted
one of the world's most beautiful,

so no wonder it attracts visitors
from all over.

As well as snapping that view,

they all seem to take a selfie
or two.

I can hear an English accent here.

Hello!

THEY GREET

Nice to meet you! How are you doing?
Well, thank you.

Yeah, have you been taking selfies?

Oh, loads of them! Absolutely loads
of them!

It's like Selfie Central here,
isn't it, really? It's gorgeous.

What is it about Santorini that
you thought, "I'm going there"?

My sister actually booked a holiday
and we sort of gate-crashed.

THEY LAUGH
I like them type of holidays!

Yeah. Well, it's nice when
somebody else picks as well -

cos then it's not your fault
if you don't like it. Yeah...

I'm not a sight-seeing person,
but this is...

This is stunning.
It is lovely, isn't it?

Thank you for talking to me
and enjoy the rest of the holiday!

THEY LAUGH
See you later!

Most cruises will be heading off
by this time,

but with our overnight stay, we can
hang on long enough to capture

that incredible Santorini sunset
that I was tipped off about.

This is the thing we've all been
waiting for,

which is the amazing sunset.

And although I look like
I'm solitary, sat on this wall...

..in a very romantic mode...

..I'm not here on me own.

Just look at that!

Do you remember that scene
in The Life of Brian?

It's always nice to share
these special moments -

and to capture the perfect
sunset selfie.

One tip for you is to get down here
nice and early

to grab the best viewpoints.

Wow!

CROWD APPLAUDS

Innit fabulous?

Nature never ceases to amaze.

Coming up,
a starring role in Octopussy...

It's all Greek to me, this.

..and an audition for the
not-so-great pottery throw-down.

It's... It's a waste of clay.

It's Day 5 of my Greek
island-hopping adventure,

and we're anchored off
the beautiful island of Santorini.

Jane! Oh, hello!
That's a Northern accent.

Where are you from? Yorkshire.
Yorkshire? Whereabouts?

Wakefield. You're joking!

Yeah, we're your next door
neighbour, really.

Next door neighbours?
Oh, you followed me here, have you?

So, how are you enjoying Greece?
It's absolutely fantastic.

The people are so friendly.
Yeah, it's lovely, isn't it?

Yes, it is, yes.
Sorry, what's your name?

Anne. Anne and...? John.
John, I'm Jane.

Well, have a lovely day,
both of you.

Thank you very much.
Nice to meet you. See you later!

Bye, bye! Bye, love!

Aw! A lot of people from Wakefield.

See? You can travel
all over the world

and you still bump into people
who live next door to you.

Isn't that nice?

Enough chat. Let's explore.

Yesterday, I did
the full tourist bit.

So today, I'm going to find
the secret side of Santorini.

Come on!

There are loads of traditional
villages and vineyards to explore.

But once you leave the main tourist
areas, life can get a bit...tricky.

The problem is that nobody
usually speaks English,

so I've got my little phrase book.

But "yes" means "nai".

So...nai. And "no" means "ochi".

So that's a bit reversed,
so you've just got your brain...

You've got to get your brain round
that no means ochi

and yes means nai.

I'll need "Good morning".

Kalimera!

Erm...

So, yeah, I'm just going to carry on
learning this now. Please, nai...

I'm as ready as I'll ever be -

and Katina's Taverna looks like the
ideal place to practise me lingo!

Kalimera, Katina! Kalimera!

How are you?
KATINA SPEAKS GREEK

Er, just one minute.
Er, let me see...

THEY CONVERSE IN GREEK

Ochi? No?

Den mila ellinika.

That means "I don't speak Greek."
She don't speak English.

This could be fun!

OK, so the conversation hasn't
exactly got off to a flyer,

but at least the fish looks good!

KATINA SPEAKS GREEK
Er...yeah.

I've no idea what she's saying -

but, as the Greeks
are very friendly people,

I'll assume it's something nice.

This is how Katina gets her fish,
straight off the boat.

Look at this!

They're a hospitable bunch
and like to share everything,

including workload.

Ooh, this is heavy!

OK.

Ooh!

Now, in case you're wondering,
yes, that is an octopus.

It's a traditional Greek delicacy -

and seeing as this one was on a boat
two minutes ago,

they don't come any fresher
than this.

Me? Yeah?

OK.

I've never tried it, but apparently
most of the meat

is in the tentacles, so...here goes.

THEY LAUGH

I have no idea.
It's all Greek to me, this. Bravo!

Bravo!

All it needs is ten minutes
on the barbie.

Let's see if I've got the makings
of a Greek domestic goddess.

I'm looking forward to this.

And now, eat? Nai. OK.

My first octopus ever.

OK.

Mm!

Oh, that is delicious!

Delicious... How do I say delicious?
Nostimo!

Nostimo? Nostimo! Nostimo.

Have to remember that one.

That is really good!

Katina... JANE SPEAKS GREEK

KATINA RESPONDS IN GREEK, LAUGHS

You have made my... Come here, you!

Hang on. Thank you!

Thank you. You're adorable.
Efcharisto. Efcharisto.

Well, what a fabulous end
to my two days in Santorini,

but now it's time to say
"See you later" -

or "yassas", according to
me phrase book.

With another 13 hours' sailing
to get to Crete,

you could lock yourself away
in your cabin...

..but then you'd miss
all the entertainment

that's laid on for you!

So, I'm going to try and learn
how to Greek dance today.

It's a day at sea, so there's
always something going on,

so check your planner.

So, I'm going to see if I can make
some new friends! Come on!

Today, we are learning
the national dance of Greece.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight, nine,

10, 11, 12.

CHEERING

I can't work out me left and me
right. What is the matter with me?

It was a late night.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight, nine...
JANE LAUGHS

..10, 11, 12.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight, nine,

10, 11, 12...

This is a great way to lose your
inhibitions and make a few pals.

..11, 12...

I'm dancing!

Yay!

I made two good friends there.
We can't even speak to each other.

But it doesn't matter
cos we were dancing -

and that's what it's all about,
joining in and having a good time!

Oh, time for a drink.

And there are four bars on board
to choose from.

Most drinks are included
on this cruise, which is handy

if you like a tipple as much as me
and me old mate, Sue.

She does my hair and make-up, by
the way, in case you're wondering.

Every ship has a way of paying
for drinks.

Some are all-inclusive,

some, you pay for everything
at the end,

which can be a bit of a shock

if you don't sort out a drinks
package before you get on.

Cruise lines usually offer a variety
of these packages which get

loaded onto your room card, covering
all your drinks for a fixed price.

So, be honest...

You know, if we go to dinner,
we usually have a bottle of wine.

It's her fault, not mine.
Jane, I don't think so.

I think you're right.

But we like a drink.
You're on your holidays,

you're there to enjoy it,

so make sure your budget
is sorted out with this

before you get on board.

Shall we? Do you want a brandy
in that? I've already got one!

SUE LAUGHS
See what I mean?

After a nightcap - or two -
I reckon it's time for me bed.

Tomorrow, I'm going to visit
the largest island in Greece,

which is Crete.

It says here that Zeus, which was
the head god, was born in Crete.

Not only that,
so was Nana Mouskouri,

and one of them
was in the Eurovision Song Contest.

I'll let you guess which one.

Well, hello, Heraklion!

That's the capital of Crete,
you know.

I've signed up for a tour round
an ancient Greek palace -

that's included in the cruise.

Looks like everyone else has had
the same idea.

So, I've passed about 12 buses,

and everything is in
different languages,

which is really good cos you don't
want to get on the Spanish-speaking

or the French-speaking
if you're English.

So I'm just about to get
on the English-speaking one.

It says "English Individuals",
and that's me.

I'm off to Knossos palace -
and I know it's Knossos.

I k-new all along that it had a K.

See you there! Bye!

Well, it's certainly a place
to k-nock your socks off.

According to our bus guide, it was
built by an ancient civilisation

called the Minoans to honour
their king, Minos.

That was back in the Bronze Age.

But it's had a few run-ins with
earthquakes and invasions since.

Gosh, look at that!

4,500 years old.

I mean, it's amazing!

But the Greeks are very, very proud
of their history, of their heritage

and their legends.

And they keep that very much alive.

I love this.

Wow!

The great thing about trips
like this is that you get

a very knowledgeable tour guide
who's full of facts, such as...

This is the very first
drainage system.

The first freshwater was plumbed
4,000 years ago.

Not only that, the Minoan queen
was the first-ever person

in civilisation to have
a flush toilet.

The throne was invented here.

It's hard to believe I'm talking
to you like this, isn't it?

But I've been listening!

The palace ruins were excavated
and lovingly restored

about 100 years ago by British
archaeologist Sir Arthur Evans.

Thanks to this guy,
all these people -

including me and you watching - can
see this amazing history of Crete.

One thing you can't miss is
the number of clay urns and vases.

They're everywhere!

These jugs are just amazing.

And the reason why they're
still preserved today

is because of a certain element
in the clay used here.

I mean, these are fashionable today,
aren't there?

You could have these in the garden.

I've got a couple in my garden
that are reconstructions

and I really like them.

The more I've learned about Greece
and the Greek islands,

the more I've actually
fallen in love with it

and understood all about it.

What's great is that
there are people working

to keep the island's history
and traditions alive.

This pottery shop in
Margarites Village still uses

the same ancient techniques
and that special local clay.

Hello! Welcome! Yorgos? Yes.

So, you...you actually
do traditional?

We try to do using local clay
and making pots like before.

I mean, pots for use without glaze.
Without glaze?

Without glaze. Just one firing -
like the ancient pottery, you see?

Ah! So all of these pots
made with the same clay.

You see that is waterproof? Yeah.

Water... Oh, wow!
..doesn't come out.

They were clever people,
these ancient Greeks!

This is clever as well. Yeah?
The Cup of Justice.

They used it in ancient times
for wine, to measure the wine.

You see, it's not a normal cup.
It has a hole on the bottom

and something inside.
But why Cup of Justice?

If someone a bit greedy wants
to fill his cup

and drinks more from the others,
look what happens.

Then, he lose it all.

They say, "The more you want..."
"..the less you get."

We should have these
in the United Kingdom

for people who drink too much.

In fact, I might actually
buy one of those for me.

Let me show you... I will, yeah.
..how it looks like before...

OK. ..how is the raw material.
Let me show you. OK.

I don't touch anything, Yorgos...
It's OK. ..cos I'll just break it!

Please, come closer to show you.
Right.

Have to... Wet it?
..put a little bit of water. OK.

OK.

My father was a potter. Yeah?
You used to watch him?

And I studied for three years
in Athens.

Wow! Look at that!

It's... I was going to say putty in
his hands. It's exactly that.

He just caresses, teases and...

It just opens up.
And it's wonderful to watch.

I can actually see now where
the scene came from in Ghost

because it is quite...

And now it must dry until tomorrow.

Look at it! It's amazing.
You did that, like, in no time.

Have you ever tried? No. No.
Should I? What do you think?

Shall I have a go?

Well, everyone should have their own
Patrick Swayze moment

at some time in the life.

Ooh! Right. So, I sit down here...
Sit as close as possible...

OK. ..and now, you have to put your
hands on the desk with water.

From the centre, you press down.

OK. So...
JANE GIGGLES

So, keep your hands together
to be more stable. OK.

So...press.

I've got very long nails.
Slowly, slowly.

Try not to use your nails.

I'm trying not to use my nails,
but they're just there.

So, as you've guessed by now,
my father wasn't a potter.

And I've studied this
for about three minutes

rather than three years.

JANE LAUGHS
Slowly, slowly!

Oh, no, no, no! No, no, no!
What do I do?

I want to save me pot!

It's dancing?
I've got a dancing pot?

Flower dancing pot. It's not the
best thing I've ever done, is it?

It's... It's a waste of clay.

Cos that is just not good, is it?

You see, that's what
I would have done.

THEY LAUGH

I've got really long nails,

and that's why I can't be
a very good potter. Yeah.

I've had a brilliant time. I wonder
if there's a manicurist around here!

Coming up, I get soaked in Samos...

SHE LAUGHS

I didn't realise I was going to
get so wet!

..before doing my best
Bond Girl impression.

They wanted Ursula Andress!

It's more like Hylda Baker.

I'm nearing the end of
my Aegean adventure.

And on Day 7, you get a choice -

either sail on to Kusadasi
in Turkey -

which is famous for its shopping -

or do what I've decided to do and
spend the day on the Greek island

of Samos.

I've signed up for a guided
four-by-four tour with Yorgos -

popular name over here, that!

Welcome to Samos!
Welcome to my home. Oh!

You are lucky! In front of us,

we have a couple of nice places
for swim.

How green is this place? Very green,
because we have two big mountains

in Samos, Kerkis and Ampelos.

And during the winter,
we have a lot of rains. Ah!

The smell -

because you can smell the trees and
the pines and everything.

It's just gorgeous!

That is my personal paradise.

Aw! George, you're talking
my language!

Can you show me a bit more?

Let's see... Thank you.
..the next part of Samos! OK!

I think Samos might be my new
personal paradise as well now.

Oh, it's gorgeous!

How do you say beautiful, gorgeous?

Orea. Orea? Ah!

Poli orea! Poli? Poli orea?

Poli orea!

Ah!

Help? What's the one?
JANE LAUGHS

YORGOS SPEAKS GREEK

Kalimera! Kalimera!

Aw, that's nice.

Good job this isn't Wakefield.
You can imagine the road rage!

Everybody is very friendly here.

In every island in Greece,
the people here are very kind.

Very kindly, very kind.
You married yet?

Not yet... Not yet? Uh-huh?

I'm very close to that. Ah!

I need only one thing. What's that?

A wife. A wife!

Yeah, it does help. It does help.

JANE LAUGHS

Aw! Yorgos was lovely,
and the views are just fabulous.

The beach he's dropped me off
ain't bad either.

But like a lot of them on Samos,
this one is shingly.

It's not the easiest walk I've ever
done. It's full of pebbles!

They wanted Ursula Andress!

It's more like Hylda Baker.

Ooh! Ow, ow, ow!

Ah, this is the life, isn't it?

Me first bit of beach in
the Greek islands,

and I'm here at last.

Strawberry daiquiri,
sunshine, sea.

This is paradise, it's fantastic.

They do a lot of watersports here.

Water, usually not for me.

Sports, usually not for me.

Watersports, definitely not for me.

But, as they say, when in Greece,

have a go.

Shall we have a go?

Come on, you know
you want to see me go on a jetski.

Oh, gosh, what am I doing?

Well, I mastered the Segway,
so should be able to straddle this.

After a quick safety briefing
from instructor Emmanuel, I'm off.

Like a duck to water.

This is what destination cruising
is all about,

trying out new experiences.

Just remember to mind out
for any big waves.

Oh, my goodness me!

Come in, number seven,
your time's up!

I didn't realise
I was going to get so wet!

But that was...quite exhilarating.

There you go, Jane. What a man!

It'll be easier for you to
walk back out.

Thank you so much. You're welcome.

Lovely to meet you.
And you too, love. Thank you.

Nice fella.

A man who brings your shoes,
you can't fault that.

Well, my magical week island hopping
around Greece has come to an end.

It's definitely one of the busiest
cruises I've been on

and I've loved every minute.

I cannot tell you how wonderful
this holiday has been.

I've not spent much
time on the cruise, to be honest,

I've explored every single bit
I could of the Greek islands,

which is exactly what
I wanted to do.

I've only gone back on the ship
to sleep and eat.

But now, finally, I'm going
to get my Shirley Valentine moment.

I'm going to have a
glass of wine on the beach,

just like Shirley Valentine did.

And, Ed, I know you're expecting me
home tomorrow, but you know what,

it's very tempting to stay here.

But don't worry, I'm coming home.

Cheers!

MUSIC: Mamma Mia
by ABBA

# I've been cheated by you
since I don't know when

# So I made up my mind,
it must come to an end

# Look at me now, will I ever learn?

# I don't know how,
but I suddenly lose control

# There's a fire within my soul

# Just one look
and I can hear a bell ring

# One more look and
I forget everything, whoa

# Mamma mia, here I go again

# My, my, how can I resist you?

# Mamma mia, does it show again?

# My, my, just how
much I've missed you

# Yes, I've been brokenhearted

# Blue since the day we parted

# Why, why did I ever let you go?

# Mamma mia, here I go again

# My, my, I could not resist you

# Mamma mia, does it show again?

# My, my, just how much
I've missed you

# Yes, I've been brokenhearted

# Blue since the day we parted

# Why, why did I ever let you go?

# Momma Mia, now I really know

# My, my, I could never
let you go. #

The wonderful thing about Greece
is, everywhere you look,

there's an old relic.

Oh, hiya, Sue.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media