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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,980 --> 00:00:04,930 So yeah, I'm throwing a Cat-A-Versary party, 2 00:00:04,933 --> 00:00:07,499 because the caf�'s been open a year, can you believe it? 3 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:09,160 It's a fundraiser for the Humane Society. 4 00:00:09,180 --> 00:00:10,299 There'll be cats in costumes 5 00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:12,178 and a photo booth and kettle corn. 6 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:14,544 Kettle corn? You should have led with that. I'm in. 7 00:00:14,545 --> 00:00:16,500 Great. So, uh... 8 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:17,892 how's tall and grumpy doing? 9 00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:19,760 Oh, he's a pure delight around me, 10 00:00:19,780 --> 00:00:21,320 but when I mentioned you earlier, 11 00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:23,648 he clenched his fist so hard he broke the soda gun. 12 00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:26,277 Well, I am undeterred. 13 00:00:28,190 --> 00:00:32,320 Hey, Max, I-I'd love to see you at my Cat-A-Versary party. 14 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:38,288 Uh, Carter's gonna be there, my mom's coming. 15 00:00:38,289 --> 00:00:40,249 She's auditioning for the musical Cats 16 00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:42,259 at the community theater, so she's been spending a lot of time 17 00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:44,752 at the caf� to research cat behavior. 18 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:47,631 Here's your coffee, Mother. 19 00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,638 Look, I get that you're still upset with me 20 00:00:52,639 --> 00:00:54,095 for reaching out to your ex-girlfriend 21 00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,431 while on sleeping medication not prescribed to me, but... 22 00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,569 Oh, men's room? Ha. 23 00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:00,380 Still undeterred. 24 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,630 Deterred. Definitely deterred. 25 00:01:07,090 --> 00:01:09,695 - Wow, that looks amazing. - Thanks. 26 00:01:09,716 --> 00:01:12,488 - _ - I've been doing squats. 27 00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,825 Katharine, please help me get this feline off my lap. 28 00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,659 Oh, Mr. Mousekers never falls asleep in someone's lap. 29 00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:19,679 Well, he's been here quite a while, 30 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,879 and now I have to use the ladies' room, 31 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,240 and his weight is pressing on my bladder. 32 00:01:23,260 --> 00:01:24,660 Please don't bring up his weight. 33 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,440 He just got his confidence back up. 34 00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:29,673 Mr. Mousekers... 35 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,551 Uh-oh. 36 00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:33,843 What's wrong? 37 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,300 - Mommy? - Yes? 38 00:01:37,290 --> 00:01:39,920 I don't think Mr. Mousekers is sleeping. 39 00:01:39,940 --> 00:01:41,184 Oh... 40 00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:43,688 Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, 41 00:01:43,689 --> 00:01:45,849 but the oven just crapped out. 42 00:01:45,850 --> 00:01:49,300 I mean, honestly, can you think of anything worse to happen 43 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:52,196 before our Cat-A-Versary party? 44 00:01:57,020 --> 00:01:59,827 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - ... www.addic7ed.com ... 45 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:03,409 Kat, he was old, but you gave him a great life. 46 00:02:03,410 --> 00:02:05,180 Every time he would lay on your laptop, 47 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,289 you would just stop working so he could sleep there. 48 00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:09,079 And then you bought him his own computer 49 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,775 so he could lay right by you. 50 00:02:10,776 --> 00:02:12,549 Which I'd like to call dibs on. 51 00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:15,761 Not the time. 52 00:02:15,786 --> 00:02:17,960 I just have that same heavy feeling in my heart 53 00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:19,819 that I had when my dad died. 54 00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:21,260 And, disturbing coincidence, 55 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,519 they both died on top of my mother. 56 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:28,230 Well, just remind yourself it's a cat and not a person. 57 00:02:28,232 --> 00:02:29,840 Uh-oh. 58 00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:34,279 Yeah, I know it's a cat and not a person. 59 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,988 A cat that I loved very deeply. 60 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,990 The first cat I rescued. 61 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,209 The only cat who knew how to pee on a potty. 62 00:02:40,210 --> 00:02:41,699 And do you know who taught him to do that? 63 00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:44,479 No one. He learned just by observing human behavior. 64 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,040 He was that smart. 65 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:49,001 Okay, I'm sorry. That came out wrong. 66 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,714 I'm just... I'm gonna go upstairs for a little bit. 67 00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:54,717 Alone. 68 00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,880 Randi, I'm having Mr. Mousekers cremated. 69 00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,679 Can you pick up his ashes later today? 70 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,060 There's nothing I'd rather do. 71 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,519 Well, there are some things, but once again, not the time. 72 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,396 And I'm gonna cancel the party. 73 00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,323 I don't even care if I don't get my deposit back 74 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:12,608 on that ice cat sculpture. 75 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,810 I didn't want to burst her bubble, 76 00:03:14,830 --> 00:03:18,320 but I'm the one who taught that cat to pee on the terlet. 77 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,260 Ooh, this is a nice surprise. 78 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,792 A hot chick and a gift? 79 00:03:28,793 --> 00:03:30,840 A hot chick, yes. Gift, no. 80 00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,460 These are Mr. Mousekers' ashes. 81 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,379 The pet crematorium is only two blocks away, 82 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,840 so I figured I'd stop by. 83 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:38,093 You didn't figure you should leave those in the car? 84 00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:40,800 No way! What if his cat ghost got out 85 00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:41,919 and started haunting my car, 86 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,433 changing my radio presets to smooth jazz? 87 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:45,900 Great, 88 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,999 now I'm thinking about a dead cat more than I'm thinking about stuff 89 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,229 that we're not supposed to talk about in front of our friends. 90 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,398 So you're complaining that I stopped by? 91 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,985 Get in here with your dead cat. 92 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,940 I came up to bring you some dinner 93 00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,577 and to tell you I think you should go ahead with the party. 94 00:04:03,578 --> 00:04:08,140 Oh, I can't. I've suffered a great loss. 95 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,400 I'm also still really upset that Oscar felt the need to point out 96 00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,460 that animals are not people. 97 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,840 I mean, obviously, if my house was burning down, 98 00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,659 and I could only grab the baby or the cat, 99 00:04:17,660 --> 00:04:18,800 you know what I'd do. 100 00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:21,259 - Grab the baby? - What baby, Phil?! 101 00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:23,580 The imaginary baby? 102 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,389 No, I'd grab the real cats. All of them. 103 00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:29,100 Okay, I know you're in mourning, but where I come from, 104 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:33,198 even a funeral is a big party to celebrate someone's life. 105 00:04:33,199 --> 00:04:34,858 You know, connect with each other 106 00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:37,440 over memories of the one we lost. 107 00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:40,864 In my family, we called them "fun-erals," 108 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,079 - Fun-erals? - Yeah, we'd all get together, 109 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,699 eat food, we'd sing hymns 110 00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,913 with the Crumpler Bluegrass Band. 111 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,640 Well, that's nice, Phil, but I just... 112 00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:53,043 I don't think I'm there yet. 113 00:04:53,044 --> 00:04:55,880 - Oh. - Also, your relentless positivity 114 00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:58,048 is annoying me a little bit. 115 00:04:58,049 --> 00:04:59,882 Well, roger that. 116 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:02,620 I'll check on you tomorrow. 117 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,720 Still open, Phil. 118 00:05:07,729 --> 00:05:09,726 Hey. 119 00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:12,880 Hey... 120 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,760 Heard about Mr. Mousekers. 121 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,600 Remember when my dog Winston died back in college? 122 00:05:24,620 --> 00:05:27,100 We stayed up all night and told Winston stories. 123 00:05:27,110 --> 00:05:29,480 I remember we polished off a bottle of bourbon, 124 00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,740 and I fell asleep with my legs sticking out of your doggy door 125 00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:34,119 because I was so hot. 126 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,539 Well, I'm here to return the favor. 127 00:05:36,540 --> 00:05:38,039 - Oh. - It's the good stuff. 128 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,740 Don't mention it to Carter. I told him I dropped it. 129 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,520 And then he jumped up on the couch 130 00:05:45,540 --> 00:05:47,179 and dropped that little felt mouse in my lap. 131 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,560 And I was actually having a crappy day and I thought, 132 00:05:49,580 --> 00:05:52,189 "Thanks, dude, that helps." 133 00:05:52,190 --> 00:05:54,169 He did that to me once with a real mouse 134 00:05:54,170 --> 00:05:55,700 with its head chewed off. 135 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,650 I thought, well, it's the thought that counts. 136 00:05:58,620 --> 00:06:00,580 Well, chewed mice aside, 137 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,389 sometimes I think animals are better than people. 138 00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:06,320 Or at least easier to get along with. 139 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,219 I wish a million times over 140 00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:12,909 that I hadn't contacted Brigitte. 141 00:06:12,910 --> 00:06:16,089 She forwarded me the e-mail you sent her. 142 00:06:16,090 --> 00:06:18,490 It was actually very complimentary. 143 00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,690 Some of it was... 144 00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:22,450 ... was in Old English. 145 00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:24,980 You kept saying I was "a truepenny" 146 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,870 and "straight-fingered." 147 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,920 I was so out of it. 148 00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:31,439 I even sent an e-mail to the government 149 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,219 asking for jury duty. 150 00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:35,949 Luckily it didn't go through 151 00:06:35,950 --> 00:06:38,649 'cause I had just typed in, "To Government." 152 00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:44,929 Hey, at least now I know where Brigitte stands. 153 00:06:44,930 --> 00:06:46,940 And it is kind of freeing. 154 00:06:46,950 --> 00:06:49,100 That's exactly how I felt when you rejected me. 155 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,520 Free! 156 00:06:50,530 --> 00:06:52,820 Well, let me know if you ever need me to reject you again. 157 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:55,270 Yeah, I don't think I'll ever need you to do that again, 158 00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,159 but thanks for the offer. 159 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,410 You know I'm kidding, right? 160 00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:00,880 Of course I know you're kidding. 161 00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:03,210 It's what we do. We kid. 162 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,009 Wow, it is late. I should-I should probably go. 163 00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:12,170 Yeah, me, too. 164 00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:14,360 - Uh, you live here. - Yeah, that sounds about right. 165 00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:19,960 All right, I just need to grab one part out of the truck 166 00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,310 - and you will be good to go. - Will I? 167 00:07:22,330 --> 00:07:24,969 'Cause you've been working on that oven for five hours. 168 00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:27,989 I'm beginning to think you're the one missing a part, Ray. 169 00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:29,820 Hey, ovens are like women. 170 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,239 You can't always get 'em to cook when you want 'em to. 171 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,850 I bet your wife loves crawling into bed with you 172 00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:36,900 after you make comments like that. 173 00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:39,200 Joke's on you, I'm divorced. 174 00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:42,039 Hey, Phil. Oh, Ray, is the oven working? 175 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,090 No, but Ray is working my nerves. 176 00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:46,199 Don't listen to this little doughboy. 177 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,250 Thems are fighting words, Ray! 178 00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,480 No, these are fighting words. 179 00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,959 I don't think your mama used enough yeast when she made you, 180 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,679 'cause you never finished rising. 181 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,720 Don't you talk about my mama's yeast! 182 00:07:55,740 --> 00:07:57,349 Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa! 183 00:07:57,350 --> 00:07:59,150 Gentlemen, we could all be dead 184 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,180 in someone's lap tomorrow; let's not fight. 185 00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,519 Ray, can you fix the oven by tomorrow? 186 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:04,520 I can fix it before that 187 00:08:04,530 --> 00:08:06,739 as long as doughboy stays in his can. 188 00:08:06,740 --> 00:08:10,249 - Hey, leave Phil alone. - Yeah, leave Phil alone!! 189 00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:12,400 I have such a crush on him. 190 00:08:12,410 --> 00:08:14,739 What? You were just fighting with him. 191 00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:17,340 Yeah, fighting my feelings for him. 192 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,050 I don't know what is going on, Kat, 193 00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:21,040 but when he showed up to fix that oven, 194 00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:22,580 something deep inside of me 195 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:24,920 said we were meant to be together. 196 00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:29,780 I'm very interested, very invested, 197 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,670 but can we table that for now? 198 00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:33,169 Sure. 199 00:08:33,170 --> 00:08:36,499 I came in to tell you that the party is back on. 200 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,429 But I'm changing it to a fun-eral. 201 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,630 You were right. Loss can connect people. 202 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,269 It got me and Max talking again. 203 00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:44,470 I am so happy to hear that. 204 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,120 Maybe if I dust my banjo off, 205 00:08:46,140 --> 00:08:47,800 I can get you and Max to sing 206 00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:50,439 some of my favorite hymns at the fun-eral. 207 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,230 I would be honored. 208 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,759 All right, I'm gonna go to the craft store 209 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,449 and get some supplies for a memorial board. 210 00:08:55,450 --> 00:08:57,500 I might even pick up a new 3-D jigsaw puzzle 211 00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,619 'cause I've been through a lot and I think I deserve it. 212 00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:02,180 Randi, did you get Mr. Mousekers' ashes? 213 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,039 Yeah, I got 'em. I got 'em. 214 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,550 Are you sure? 'Cause you said that 215 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:07,629 like maybe you don't got 'em. 216 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,350 I said, yeah, I got 'em, 217 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,949 and then I repeated "I got 'em" 218 00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,600 upstairs in my purse, 219 00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:14,589 'cause that's where I got 'em at. 220 00:09:14,590 --> 00:09:17,840 Okay, great. Uh, Phil, get her up to speed on the fun-eral. 221 00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:21,060 If it's a fun funeral, I'm up to speed. 222 00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:27,000 Hey, I think I left my box of cat ashes 223 00:09:27,010 --> 00:09:28,189 at your house last night. 224 00:09:28,190 --> 00:09:30,469 Yeah, you did, which explains why Mr. Mousekers 225 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,509 was a fortune-teller in my dream last night. 226 00:09:32,510 --> 00:09:35,489 He told me I was good in bed. What do you think? 227 00:09:35,490 --> 00:09:37,410 Tell me you brought that damn box. 228 00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:38,950 Hang tight. 229 00:09:40,060 --> 00:09:41,070 Uh-oh. 230 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,080 What? 231 00:09:42,090 --> 00:09:43,869 Don't be mad, the box is in the car. 232 00:09:43,870 --> 00:09:45,329 Okay, so just go get it. 233 00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:46,719 Here's where the mad part comes in. 234 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,960 When I say "the" car, I don't mean my car. 235 00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:51,919 See, my car's in the shop, so I took a ride service to work, 236 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,839 so it's in that car. 237 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,759 Ask me if you're good in bed again. 238 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,800 I don't want to. 239 00:10:03,340 --> 00:10:05,800 I am doing my best with this tiny oven, 240 00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:07,589 but it's like trying to paint a barn 241 00:10:07,590 --> 00:10:08,770 with a Q-tip. 242 00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:13,029 - Hey, is, uh, Kat home? - Hey, Oscar. 243 00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,240 No, she's still out shopping for the fun-eral. 244 00:10:15,260 --> 00:10:17,770 I came by to apologize for the thing I said earlier 245 00:10:17,780 --> 00:10:19,199 about cats not being people. 246 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,800 The florist was also pretty pissed when I told her the story, 247 00:10:21,820 --> 00:10:24,329 so apparently, I've really hit a nerve here. 248 00:10:24,330 --> 00:10:26,300 Well, if it makes you feel any better, 249 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:27,519 she's gonna be way more pissed 250 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,030 when she finds out I'm responsible 251 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,670 for Mr. Mousekers' ashes being left in a car service 252 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:33,580 and the driver's not texting me back. 253 00:10:33,590 --> 00:10:35,870 Oh, that is way worse than my thing. 254 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,130 Thanks for taking the heat off. 255 00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:46,400 Sounds like a 12-fingered angel is playing my banjo. 256 00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:48,090 Huh, Tucks? 257 00:10:53,140 --> 00:10:55,780 I'll be damned, Ray. 258 00:10:55,800 --> 00:11:00,199 You're like one of them idiots who can do one amazing thing. 259 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,909 This your banjo? 260 00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:05,909 Yeah. But run your fingers up and down it all you want. 261 00:11:05,910 --> 00:11:07,749 Excuse me? 262 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,500 Oh, nothing. 263 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,370 Aren't those flowers Oscar brought you nice? 264 00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:15,439 Honestly, I've never been much 265 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,260 of a "flowers as a gift" type of person. 266 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,929 It's just another thing to watch die. 267 00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,599 Damn, you're kind of bitchy when your cat dies. 268 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,880 You know what doesn't die? 269 00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,469 That bourbon Max brought me. 270 00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:27,970 Uh-oh. What's your point? 271 00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:31,380 I'm just saying that it's interesting to compare 272 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,620 the way Oscar handled this tragic event in my life 273 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,100 to the way Max has handled it. 274 00:11:36,110 --> 00:11:37,320 No, no, no, no, no. 275 00:11:37,340 --> 00:11:39,529 You cannot compare Oscar and Max like that. 276 00:11:39,530 --> 00:11:41,270 Max is not your boyfriend, 277 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,320 and by his own admission, never will be. 278 00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:45,620 I know, but there was this moment 279 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,520 when Max and I were talking last night 280 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,499 that I thought maybe he was gonna kiss me. 281 00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:53,459 You thought I was gonna kiss you last margarita night. 282 00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:54,900 You leaned in. 283 00:11:56,510 --> 00:11:59,609 Kat, grief makes people feel confusing things. 284 00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:03,009 You have to calm yourself, close your eyes 285 00:12:03,010 --> 00:12:04,929 and focus on the guy you're getting naked with. 286 00:12:04,930 --> 00:12:08,140 I can do that. 287 00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,500 Uh, Wyatt, this is a memorial board 288 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,700 for the pets who have left us too soon. 289 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:15,939 That's a human. 290 00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:18,940 It's my grandma. Her name was Lassie. 291 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,060 Here are the words to the hymn in case you get choked up 292 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,270 and don't remember them. 293 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,390 Oh, I'm done being sad, Phil. 294 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,290 I mean, look how well this is going. 295 00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:30,289 Everyone loves the memorial board. 296 00:12:30,290 --> 00:12:32,789 Lot more iguanas than I thought there would be. 297 00:12:32,790 --> 00:12:35,669 Yes. Must have been that cold snap. 298 00:12:37,410 --> 00:12:39,480 Oh, no. 299 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:42,580 Oscar's gonna be late 'cause he has a work thing? 300 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,700 I mean, who's gonna squeeze my hand 301 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,340 before I recite my poem? 302 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,679 You know, I'm still annoyed at him, 303 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,849 but I'm not above using him for physical comfort. 304 00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:53,219 Well, I can do it, but it ends with the hand squeeze. 305 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,269 - Hello, Katharine. - Oh, Mother. 306 00:12:57,270 --> 00:12:59,069 Geez. You scared me. 307 00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,270 You look just like Mr. Mousekers. 308 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,680 He was my inspiration. 309 00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:06,529 It was easy since I can't get his dead little face out of my head. 310 00:13:06,530 --> 00:13:09,200 You know, I felt a bit traumatized, 311 00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:11,140 since he died right in my lap. 312 00:13:11,170 --> 00:13:13,240 I felt like maybe he was tagging me. 313 00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,330 "Hey, lady, you're next." 314 00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:17,949 It crossed my mind as well. 315 00:13:17,950 --> 00:13:21,619 Then, while I was belting out "Memory" at my audition, 316 00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:23,220 I had another thought. 317 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:26,870 Maybe Mr. Mousekers was looking for a-a special place 318 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:27,889 to cross over. 319 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,749 Maybe he came to me for comfort. 320 00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:32,879 He trusted me. 321 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,550 That's beautiful. 322 00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,320 Yes, that's what they said at the audition. 323 00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:37,980 They cast me on the spot. 324 00:13:37,990 --> 00:13:40,029 Not the role I auditioned for... it was too young... 325 00:13:40,030 --> 00:13:41,689 but I still get to crawl around 326 00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,039 and interact with the audience 327 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,739 before the show. 328 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:48,489 So, you're more of a dog person, huh? 329 00:13:48,490 --> 00:13:49,989 Yeah, I guess so. 330 00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:53,039 Hmm. You had a dog, you act like a dog. 331 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,709 Are you being funny or mean? What's happening? 332 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,400 What's happening is you're showing up 333 00:13:57,420 --> 00:14:00,000 at my girl Kat's place with your booze and your hair 334 00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:02,250 and your big old teeth and confusing her, 335 00:14:02,260 --> 00:14:03,920 making her think you're gonna kiss her. 336 00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,179 - Did she say that? - Randi. 337 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:07,759 I need to talk to you. 338 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,100 E-Excuse me. 339 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,030 Carter and I have never spoken privately, 340 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,780 so this must be important. 341 00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,930 Stay, dog. 342 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,340 The ashes are two hours away. 343 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,530 Says traffic's real bad on the highway. 344 00:14:21,540 --> 00:14:22,740 Well, then text him back 345 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,279 and tell him a real man would be driving on the grass. 346 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,740 It's all good. I got us covered. 347 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,870 We'll tell Kat the ashes are in here. 348 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,730 That looks like it was painted by a child. 349 00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:34,420 Well, C.J. made it for me for Father's Day. 350 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,369 I even filled it with rice so the weight would be right. 351 00:14:36,370 --> 00:14:38,459 This sounds like rice. 352 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:41,039 Well, you only thinking about rice 'cause I said it was rice. 353 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,589 Hey, Randi, I'm about to start the memorial. 354 00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:45,129 I need Mr. Mousekers' ashes. 355 00:14:45,130 --> 00:14:46,520 Makes sense. 356 00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:50,100 Uh, can I have them? 357 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,739 Of course. 358 00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:55,139 They said not to shake it, out of respect. 359 00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:57,609 Uh, this is not the box that I ordered. 360 00:14:57,610 --> 00:15:00,100 I ordered a-a pretty one made of walnut 361 00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,019 with a plaque and little paw prints. 362 00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:03,790 Well, they said this was the temporary one, 363 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,460 because the nice one takes a while. 364 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,050 Yeah, because there's a walnut wood shortage. 365 00:15:08,060 --> 00:15:11,160 Makes you think, we really only have one Earth. 366 00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:18,160 I'd like to thank you all for coming here today 367 00:15:18,170 --> 00:15:21,820 to celebrate the furry friends we've loved and lost. 368 00:15:21,830 --> 00:15:23,700 Oh, uh, quick announcement, 369 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,640 I did extend the kettle corn guy 370 00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:27,049 for another 30 minutes. 371 00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:29,089 Thank you, sir. No need for pushing. 372 00:15:29,090 --> 00:15:31,259 It's just sweet popcorn. 373 00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:36,610 Um, I've written a poem to honor my cat Mr. Mousekers, 374 00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:39,480 whose passing inspired this beautiful gathering. 375 00:15:43,660 --> 00:15:46,379 "God, feed my cat smoked salmon up there 376 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,829 "and take him on long drives, 377 00:15:48,830 --> 00:15:51,440 "and tell him just how great he was 378 00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,640 "in all of his nine lives. 379 00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:55,719 "Make the days real bright for him 380 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,900 "so he can lie out in the sun. 381 00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:59,860 "Oh, and get a laser pointer. 382 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,419 "He thinks that's really fun. 383 00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:04,160 "If you lose him, don't be frightened. 384 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:06,300 "He's probably in a drawer. 385 00:16:06,310 --> 00:16:08,380 "Or sitting in a box somewhere. 386 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,339 "He thinks that's what they're for. 387 00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:11,820 Love you, Lassie. 388 00:16:13,010 --> 00:16:16,730 "I know you're awfully busy and have many pets to love, 389 00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:18,840 "but tell mine that I miss him 390 00:16:18,860 --> 00:16:21,350 and give him an extra hug." 391 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:27,680 All right, now I'd like to invite some friends to join me up here 392 00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:30,150 and liven things up a little bit. 393 00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:32,540 * Some glad morning * 394 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,639 * When this life is over * 395 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:38,899 * I'll fly away * 396 00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:43,289 * To the home on God's celestial shore * 397 00:16:43,290 --> 00:16:47,330 * I'll fly away * 398 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:51,820 * I'll fly away, oh * * Glory * 399 00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:54,700 * I'll fly away * 400 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,849 - * In the morning * - * When I die * 401 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,590 * Hallelujah, by and by * 402 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,640 * I'll fly away * 403 00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:07,240 * When the shadows... * 404 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,980 Can you believe she owns this place 405 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,740 and has a cute young boyfriend? 406 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,700 I didn't think those two things could coexist, 407 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,110 but I'm happy to be proven wrong. 408 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,299 Put a cork in it, cat lady. I'm trying to listen. 409 00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:21,820 * I'll fly away, oh * * Glory * 410 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,460 * I'll fly away * 411 00:17:24,470 --> 00:17:26,100 * In the morning * 412 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:30,540 * When I die * * Hallelujah, by and by * 413 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,220 * I'll fly away. * 414 00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:38,759 Kat, guess what? 415 00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,380 I asked Ray to form a bluegrass band with me 416 00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:42,430 and he said yes. 417 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,420 Oh, so your feeling was right. 418 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,780 You were meant to be together. 419 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,070 Just, in a band, not in holy matrimony. 420 00:17:48,090 --> 00:17:50,980 Yeah, but I can still live with hope in my heart. 421 00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:55,560 Hey. I loved your poem. 422 00:17:55,570 --> 00:17:57,680 I bet Mr. Mousekers and Winston 423 00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,790 are probably smiling down on us right now. 424 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:01,800 Mr. Mousekers was never really one for smiling. 425 00:18:01,820 --> 00:18:03,840 When he was happy, he'd-he'd look past you 426 00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:05,709 and rub his butt up against your arm. 427 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:06,959 I had an ex who did that. 428 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,700 - Julia. - Sophomore year. 429 00:18:11,050 --> 00:18:14,719 Kat, I-I, uh, feel like I need to tell you something. 430 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,260 Um, come here. 431 00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:20,919 - Are you mad at me again? - No. 432 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,499 Is it 'cause I was pitchy during the singing? 433 00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,980 - Mm, no. - Sometimes I get pitchy 434 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,499 - 'cause I'm caught up in my spoons. - No. No. 435 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,470 No, I just, I want to... 436 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:28,739 I just want to clear up something 437 00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:31,439 about the other night when I came over. 438 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,640 The reason Brigitte broke up with me in the first place 439 00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:36,659 is because she never felt like I was all in. 440 00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:39,239 And she was right. I always felt like something was missing. 441 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:44,060 And what was missing was a-a real friendship with her. 442 00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,458 Like the one we have. 443 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,380 So... 444 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,590 if you felt like I wanted to kiss you the other night, 445 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,380 it's because I did. 446 00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:59,639 Did you know this and you never said anything? 447 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,920 I like to keep things mysterious and suspenseful. 448 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,660 Look, I know this is bad timing, 449 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:07,829 'cause you're dating somebody, 450 00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:10,420 but if there's one thing I learned from you, 451 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,230 is that it's better to make a bold move. 452 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:17,570 So, this is my bold move. 453 00:19:19,270 --> 00:19:20,370 Wow. 454 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,489 - Yeah. - Yeah. 455 00:19:23,490 --> 00:19:25,159 Well, you were right. 456 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,418 - Your timing is, like, ugh. - Way off, I know. 457 00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:30,469 Um, yeah. 458 00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:32,669 Okay, well, I'm gonna go, uh, splash some cold water on my face. 459 00:19:32,670 --> 00:19:37,010 And I'm gonna go reapply my deodorant, like, uh, like, a lot of it. 460 00:19:38,570 --> 00:19:40,020 Oh. 461 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,199 Mr. Mousekers! 462 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,139 Is this... Is this rice? 463 00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:46,610 I can explain. 464 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:50,540 Y-You know how in the Bible, things turn into other things? 465 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,400 I believe we have a miracle on our hands. 466 00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:55,520 Randi, what is going on? 467 00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:59,580 Okay, see, after I picked up Mr. Mousekers' ashes, 468 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,410 I accidentally left them in a car service. 469 00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:05,540 And by the time I contacted the driver, he was in Chicago, 470 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,210 ironically, to comfort his mother, 471 00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:09,269 who had just lost her cat. 472 00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:11,169 You can't make this stuff up. 473 00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,959 And I didn't have time 474 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,919 to drop everything and go to Chicago. 475 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,250 So where is Mr. Mousekers now? 476 00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:18,420 He's right here. 477 00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:23,429 You didn't have to work late? 478 00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:26,929 You went all the way to Chicago for Mr. Mousekers? 479 00:20:26,930 --> 00:20:30,390 If something is important to you, it's important to me. 480 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:37,730 Do I smell kettle corn? I haven't eaten in, like, ten hours. 481 00:20:37,740 --> 00:20:39,890 Yeah. Go get some. 482 00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:43,660 Katharine, this cat and I both dipped our paws 483 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,660 into the shrimp cocktail at the same time. 484 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,290 I think I've found my soul mate. 485 00:20:48,310 --> 00:20:51,580 Oh. Good for you, Mother. 486 00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:02,040 That makes one of us. 487 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:37,040 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - ... www.addic7ed.com ... 36641

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