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So yeah, I'm throwing
a Cat-A-Versary party,
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because the caf�'s been open
a year, can you believe it?
3
00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:09,160
It's a fundraiser for
the Humane Society.
4
00:00:09,180 --> 00:00:10,299
There'll be cats in costumes
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00:00:10,300 --> 00:00:12,178
and a photo booth and kettle corn.
6
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:14,544
Kettle corn? You should
have led with that. I'm in.
7
00:00:14,545 --> 00:00:16,500
Great. So, uh...
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00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:17,892
how's tall and grumpy doing?
9
00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:19,760
Oh, he's a pure delight around me,
10
00:00:19,780 --> 00:00:21,320
but when I mentioned you earlier,
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00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:23,648
he clenched his fist so hard
he broke the soda gun.
12
00:00:23,649 --> 00:00:26,277
Well, I am undeterred.
13
00:00:28,190 --> 00:00:32,320
Hey, Max, I-I'd love to see you
at my Cat-A-Versary party.
14
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:38,288
Uh, Carter's gonna be there,
my mom's coming.
15
00:00:38,289 --> 00:00:40,249
She's auditioning for the musical Cats
16
00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:42,259
at the community theater, so
she's been spending a lot of time
17
00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:44,752
at the caf� to research cat behavior.
18
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:47,631
Here's your coffee, Mother.
19
00:00:50,676 --> 00:00:52,638
Look, I get that you're
still upset with me
20
00:00:52,639 --> 00:00:54,095
for reaching out to your ex-girlfriend
21
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,431
while on sleeping medication
not prescribed to me, but...
22
00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:58,569
Oh, men's room? Ha.
23
00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:00,380
Still undeterred.
24
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,630
Deterred. Definitely deterred.
25
00:01:07,090 --> 00:01:09,695
- Wow, that looks amazing.
- Thanks.
26
00:01:09,716 --> 00:01:12,488
- _
- I've been doing squats.
27
00:01:12,489 --> 00:01:15,825
Katharine, please help me
get this feline off my lap.
28
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:18,659
Oh, Mr. Mousekers never falls
asleep in someone's lap.
29
00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:19,679
Well, he's been here quite a while,
30
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,879
and now I have to use the ladies' room,
31
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,240
and his weight is pressing
on my bladder.
32
00:01:23,260 --> 00:01:24,660
Please don't bring up his weight.
33
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:27,440
He just got his confidence back up.
34
00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:29,673
Mr. Mousekers...
35
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,551
Uh-oh.
36
00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:33,843
What's wrong?
37
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,300
- Mommy?
- Yes?
38
00:01:37,290 --> 00:01:39,920
I don't think Mr. Mousekers is sleeping.
39
00:01:39,940 --> 00:01:41,184
Oh...
40
00:01:41,185 --> 00:01:43,688
Well, I hate to be the
bearer of bad news,
41
00:01:43,689 --> 00:01:45,849
but the oven just crapped out.
42
00:01:45,850 --> 00:01:49,300
I mean, honestly, can you think
of anything worse to happen
43
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:52,196
before our Cat-A-Versary party?
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
... www.addic7ed.com ...
45
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:03,409
Kat, he was old, but you
gave him a great life.
46
00:02:03,410 --> 00:02:05,180
Every time he would lay on your laptop,
47
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,289
you would just stop working
so he could sleep there.
48
00:02:07,290 --> 00:02:09,079
And then you bought him his own computer
49
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,775
so he could lay right by you.
50
00:02:10,776 --> 00:02:12,549
Which I'd like to call dibs on.
51
00:02:13,676 --> 00:02:15,761
Not the time.
52
00:02:15,786 --> 00:02:17,960
I just have that same
heavy feeling in my heart
53
00:02:17,980 --> 00:02:19,819
that I had when my dad died.
54
00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:21,260
And, disturbing coincidence,
55
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,519
they both died on top of my mother.
56
00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:28,230
Well, just remind yourself
it's a cat and not a person.
57
00:02:28,232 --> 00:02:29,840
Uh-oh.
58
00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:34,279
Yeah, I know it's a
cat and not a person.
59
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:35,988
A cat that I loved very deeply.
60
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,990
The first cat I rescued.
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00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,209
The only cat who knew
how to pee on a potty.
62
00:02:40,210 --> 00:02:41,699
And do you know who
taught him to do that?
63
00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:44,479
No one. He learned just by
observing human behavior.
64
00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,040
He was that smart.
65
00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:49,001
Okay, I'm sorry. That came out wrong.
66
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,714
I'm just... I'm gonna go
upstairs for a little bit.
67
00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:54,717
Alone.
68
00:02:56,260 --> 00:02:58,880
Randi, I'm having Mr.
Mousekers cremated.
69
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,679
Can you pick up his ashes later today?
70
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,060
There's nothing I'd rather do.
71
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:06,519
Well, there are some things,
but once again, not the time.
72
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,396
And I'm gonna cancel the party.
73
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,323
I don't even care if I don't
get my deposit back
74
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:12,608
on that ice cat sculpture.
75
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,810
I didn't want to burst her bubble,
76
00:03:14,830 --> 00:03:18,320
but I'm the one who taught
that cat to pee on the terlet.
77
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,260
Ooh, this is a nice surprise.
78
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,792
A hot chick and a gift?
79
00:03:28,793 --> 00:03:30,840
A hot chick, yes. Gift, no.
80
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:32,460
These are Mr. Mousekers' ashes.
81
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,379
The pet crematorium is
only two blocks away,
82
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,840
so I figured I'd stop by.
83
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:38,093
You didn't figure you should
leave those in the car?
84
00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:40,800
No way! What if his cat ghost got out
85
00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:41,919
and started haunting my car,
86
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,433
changing my radio
presets to smooth jazz?
87
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:45,900
Great,
88
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,999
now I'm thinking about a dead cat
more than I'm thinking about stuff
89
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,229
that we're not supposed to talk
about in front of our friends.
90
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,398
So you're complaining that I stopped by?
91
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,985
Get in here with your dead cat.
92
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:00,940
I came up to bring you some dinner
93
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,577
and to tell you I think you
should go ahead with the party.
94
00:04:03,578 --> 00:04:08,140
Oh, I can't. I've suffered a great loss.
95
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,400
I'm also still really upset that
Oscar felt the need to point out
96
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:13,460
that animals are not people.
97
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,840
I mean, obviously, if my
house was burning down,
98
00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,659
and I could only grab
the baby or the cat,
99
00:04:17,660 --> 00:04:18,800
you know what I'd do.
100
00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:21,259
- Grab the baby?
- What baby, Phil?!
101
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:23,580
The imaginary baby?
102
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,389
No, I'd grab the real cats. All of them.
103
00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:29,100
Okay, I know you're in mourning,
but where I come from,
104
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:33,198
even a funeral is a big party
to celebrate someone's life.
105
00:04:33,199 --> 00:04:34,858
You know, connect with each other
106
00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:37,440
over memories of the one we lost.
107
00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:40,864
In my family, we called
them "fun-erals,"
108
00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,079
- Fun-erals?
- Yeah, we'd all get together,
109
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:45,699
eat food, we'd sing hymns
110
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,913
with the Crumpler Bluegrass Band.
111
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,640
Well, that's nice, Phil, but I just...
112
00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:53,043
I don't think I'm there yet.
113
00:04:53,044 --> 00:04:55,880
- Oh.
- Also, your relentless positivity
114
00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:58,048
is annoying me a little bit.
115
00:04:58,049 --> 00:04:59,882
Well, roger that.
116
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:02,620
I'll check on you tomorrow.
117
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,720
Still open, Phil.
118
00:05:07,729 --> 00:05:09,726
Hey.
119
00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:12,880
Hey...
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00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,760
Heard about Mr. Mousekers.
121
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,600
Remember when my dog Winston
died back in college?
122
00:05:24,620 --> 00:05:27,100
We stayed up all night
and told Winston stories.
123
00:05:27,110 --> 00:05:29,480
I remember we polished
off a bottle of bourbon,
124
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,740
and I fell asleep with my legs
sticking out of your doggy door
125
00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:34,119
because I was so hot.
126
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,539
Well, I'm here to return the favor.
127
00:05:36,540 --> 00:05:38,039
- Oh.
- It's the good stuff.
128
00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,740
Don't mention it to Carter.
I told him I dropped it.
129
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,520
And then he jumped up on the couch
130
00:05:45,540 --> 00:05:47,179
and dropped that little
felt mouse in my lap.
131
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,560
And I was actually having
a crappy day and I thought,
132
00:05:49,580 --> 00:05:52,189
"Thanks, dude, that helps."
133
00:05:52,190 --> 00:05:54,169
He did that to me once with a real mouse
134
00:05:54,170 --> 00:05:55,700
with its head chewed off.
135
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,650
I thought, well, it's the
thought that counts.
136
00:05:58,620 --> 00:06:00,580
Well, chewed mice aside,
137
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,389
sometimes I think animals
are better than people.
138
00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:06,320
Or at least easier to get along with.
139
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,219
I wish a million times over
140
00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:12,909
that I hadn't contacted Brigitte.
141
00:06:12,910 --> 00:06:16,089
She forwarded me the
e-mail you sent her.
142
00:06:16,090 --> 00:06:18,490
It was actually very complimentary.
143
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,690
Some of it was...
144
00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:22,450
... was in Old English.
145
00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:24,980
You kept saying I was "a truepenny"
146
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,870
and "straight-fingered."
147
00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,920
I was so out of it.
148
00:06:28,940 --> 00:06:31,439
I even sent an e-mail to the government
149
00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:34,219
asking for jury duty.
150
00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:35,949
Luckily it didn't go through
151
00:06:35,950 --> 00:06:38,649
'cause I had just typed
in, "To Government."
152
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:44,929
Hey, at least now I know
where Brigitte stands.
153
00:06:44,930 --> 00:06:46,940
And it is kind of freeing.
154
00:06:46,950 --> 00:06:49,100
That's exactly how I felt
when you rejected me.
155
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,520
Free!
156
00:06:50,530 --> 00:06:52,820
Well, let me know if you ever
need me to reject you again.
157
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:55,270
Yeah, I don't think I'll ever
need you to do that again,
158
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,159
but thanks for the offer.
159
00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,410
You know I'm kidding, right?
160
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:00,880
Of course I know you're kidding.
161
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:03,210
It's what we do. We kid.
162
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,009
Wow, it is late.
I should-I should probably go.
163
00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:12,170
Yeah, me, too.
164
00:07:12,180 --> 00:07:14,360
- Uh, you live here.
- Yeah, that sounds about right.
165
00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:19,960
All right, I just need to grab
one part out of the truck
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00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,310
- and you will be good to go.
- Will I?
167
00:07:22,330 --> 00:07:24,969
'Cause you've been working
on that oven for five hours.
168
00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:27,989
I'm beginning to think you're
the one missing a part, Ray.
169
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:29,820
Hey, ovens are like women.
170
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,239
You can't always get 'em to
cook when you want 'em to.
171
00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,850
I bet your wife loves
crawling into bed with you
172
00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:36,900
after you make comments like that.
173
00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:39,200
Joke's on you, I'm divorced.
174
00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:42,039
Hey, Phil. Oh, Ray, is the oven working?
175
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,090
No, but Ray is working my nerves.
176
00:07:44,100 --> 00:07:46,199
Don't listen to this little doughboy.
177
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,250
Thems are fighting words, Ray!
178
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,480
No, these are fighting words.
179
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:51,959
I don't think your mama used enough
yeast when she made you,
180
00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,679
'cause you never finished rising.
181
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,720
Don't you talk about my mama's yeast!
182
00:07:55,740 --> 00:07:57,349
Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa!
183
00:07:57,350 --> 00:07:59,150
Gentlemen, we could all be dead
184
00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,180
in someone's lap tomorrow;
let's not fight.
185
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,519
Ray, can you fix the oven by tomorrow?
186
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:04,520
I can fix it before that
187
00:08:04,530 --> 00:08:06,739
as long as doughboy stays in his can.
188
00:08:06,740 --> 00:08:10,249
- Hey, leave Phil alone.
- Yeah, leave Phil alone!!
189
00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:12,400
I have such a crush on him.
190
00:08:12,410 --> 00:08:14,739
What? You were just fighting with him.
191
00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:17,340
Yeah, fighting my feelings for him.
192
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,050
I don't know what is going on, Kat,
193
00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:21,040
but when he showed up to fix that oven,
194
00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:22,580
something deep inside of me
195
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:24,920
said we were meant to be together.
196
00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:29,780
I'm very interested, very invested,
197
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,670
but can we table that for now?
198
00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:33,169
Sure.
199
00:08:33,170 --> 00:08:36,499
I came in to tell you that
the party is back on.
200
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,429
But I'm changing it to a fun-eral.
201
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,630
You were right. Loss can connect people.
202
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,269
It got me and Max talking again.
203
00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:44,470
I am so happy to hear that.
204
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,120
Maybe if I dust my banjo off,
205
00:08:46,140 --> 00:08:47,800
I can get you and Max to sing
206
00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:50,439
some of my favorite
hymns at the fun-eral.
207
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,230
I would be honored.
208
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,759
All right, I'm gonna
go to the craft store
209
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,449
and get some supplies
for a memorial board.
210
00:08:55,450 --> 00:08:57,500
I might even pick up a
new 3-D jigsaw puzzle
211
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,619
'cause I've been through a
lot and I think I deserve it.
212
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:02,180
Randi, did you get Mr. Mousekers' ashes?
213
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,039
Yeah, I got 'em. I got 'em.
214
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,550
Are you sure? 'Cause you said that
215
00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:07,629
like maybe you don't got 'em.
216
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,350
I said, yeah, I got 'em,
217
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,949
and then I repeated "I got 'em"
218
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,600
upstairs in my purse,
219
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:14,589
'cause that's where I got 'em at.
220
00:09:14,590 --> 00:09:17,840
Okay, great. Uh, Phil, get her
up to speed on the fun-eral.
221
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:21,060
If it's a fun funeral, I'm up to speed.
222
00:09:24,380 --> 00:09:27,000
Hey, I think I left my box of cat ashes
223
00:09:27,010 --> 00:09:28,189
at your house last night.
224
00:09:28,190 --> 00:09:30,469
Yeah, you did, which explains
why Mr. Mousekers
225
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:32,509
was a fortune-teller in
my dream last night.
226
00:09:32,510 --> 00:09:35,489
He told me I was good in
bed. What do you think?
227
00:09:35,490 --> 00:09:37,410
Tell me you brought that damn box.
228
00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:38,950
Hang tight.
229
00:09:40,060 --> 00:09:41,070
Uh-oh.
230
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,080
What?
231
00:09:42,090 --> 00:09:43,869
Don't be mad, the box is in the car.
232
00:09:43,870 --> 00:09:45,329
Okay, so just go get it.
233
00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:46,719
Here's where the mad part comes in.
234
00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,960
When I say "the" car,
I don't mean my car.
235
00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:51,919
See, my car's in the shop, so
I took a ride service to work,
236
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,839
so it's in that car.
237
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,759
Ask me if you're good in bed again.
238
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,800
I don't want to.
239
00:10:03,340 --> 00:10:05,800
I am doing my best with this tiny oven,
240
00:10:05,820 --> 00:10:07,589
but it's like trying to paint a barn
241
00:10:07,590 --> 00:10:08,770
with a Q-tip.
242
00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:13,029
- Hey, is, uh, Kat home?
- Hey, Oscar.
243
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:15,240
No, she's still out shopping
for the fun-eral.
244
00:10:15,260 --> 00:10:17,770
I came by to apologize for
the thing I said earlier
245
00:10:17,780 --> 00:10:19,199
about cats not being people.
246
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,800
The florist was also pretty pissed
when I told her the story,
247
00:10:21,820 --> 00:10:24,329
so apparently,
I've really hit a nerve here.
248
00:10:24,330 --> 00:10:26,300
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
249
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:27,519
she's gonna be way more pissed
250
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,030
when she finds out I'm responsible
251
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:31,670
for Mr. Mousekers' ashes
being left in a car service
252
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:33,580
and the driver's not texting me back.
253
00:10:33,590 --> 00:10:35,870
Oh, that is way worse than my thing.
254
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,130
Thanks for taking the heat off.
255
00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:46,400
Sounds like a 12-fingered
angel is playing my banjo.
256
00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:48,090
Huh, Tucks?
257
00:10:53,140 --> 00:10:55,780
I'll be damned, Ray.
258
00:10:55,800 --> 00:11:00,199
You're like one of them idiots
who can do one amazing thing.
259
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,909
This your banjo?
260
00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:05,909
Yeah. But run your fingers
up and down it all you want.
261
00:11:05,910 --> 00:11:07,749
Excuse me?
262
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,500
Oh, nothing.
263
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,370
Aren't those flowers
Oscar brought you nice?
264
00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:15,439
Honestly, I've never been much
265
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,260
of a "flowers as a gift" type of person.
266
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,929
It's just another thing to watch die.
267
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:22,599
Damn, you're kind of bitchy
when your cat dies.
268
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,880
You know what doesn't die?
269
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:25,469
That bourbon Max brought me.
270
00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:27,970
Uh-oh. What's your point?
271
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:31,380
I'm just saying that it's
interesting to compare
272
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:34,620
the way Oscar handled this
tragic event in my life
273
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,100
to the way Max has handled it.
274
00:11:36,110 --> 00:11:37,320
No, no, no, no, no.
275
00:11:37,340 --> 00:11:39,529
You cannot compare
Oscar and Max like that.
276
00:11:39,530 --> 00:11:41,270
Max is not your boyfriend,
277
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,320
and by his own admission, never will be.
278
00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:45,620
I know, but there was this moment
279
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,520
when Max and I were talking last night
280
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,499
that I thought maybe
he was gonna kiss me.
281
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:53,459
You thought I was gonna kiss
you last margarita night.
282
00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:54,900
You leaned in.
283
00:11:56,510 --> 00:11:59,609
Kat, grief makes people
feel confusing things.
284
00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:03,009
You have to calm yourself,
close your eyes
285
00:12:03,010 --> 00:12:04,929
and focus on the guy
you're getting naked with.
286
00:12:04,930 --> 00:12:08,140
I can do that.
287
00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,500
Uh, Wyatt, this is a memorial board
288
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,700
for the pets who have left us too soon.
289
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:15,939
That's a human.
290
00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:18,940
It's my grandma. Her name was Lassie.
291
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,060
Here are the words to the hymn
in case you get choked up
292
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,270
and don't remember them.
293
00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,390
Oh, I'm done being sad, Phil.
294
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:28,290
I mean, look how well this is going.
295
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:30,289
Everyone loves the memorial board.
296
00:12:30,290 --> 00:12:32,789
Lot more iguanas than I
thought there would be.
297
00:12:32,790 --> 00:12:35,669
Yes. Must have been that cold snap.
298
00:12:37,410 --> 00:12:39,480
Oh, no.
299
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:42,580
Oscar's gonna be late
'cause he has a work thing?
300
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,700
I mean, who's gonna squeeze my hand
301
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,340
before I recite my poem?
302
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,679
You know, I'm still annoyed at him,
303
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,849
but I'm not above using
him for physical comfort.
304
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:53,219
Well, I can do it, but it ends
with the hand squeeze.
305
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,269
- Hello, Katharine.
- Oh, Mother.
306
00:12:57,270 --> 00:12:59,069
Geez. You scared me.
307
00:12:59,070 --> 00:13:01,270
You look just like Mr. Mousekers.
308
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,680
He was my inspiration.
309
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:06,529
It was easy since I can't get his
dead little face out of my head.
310
00:13:06,530 --> 00:13:09,200
You know, I felt a bit traumatized,
311
00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:11,140
since he died right in my lap.
312
00:13:11,170 --> 00:13:13,240
I felt like maybe he was tagging me.
313
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:15,330
"Hey, lady, you're next."
314
00:13:16,210 --> 00:13:17,949
It crossed my mind as well.
315
00:13:17,950 --> 00:13:21,619
Then, while I was belting out
"Memory" at my audition,
316
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:23,220
I had another thought.
317
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:26,870
Maybe Mr. Mousekers was
looking for a-a special place
318
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:27,889
to cross over.
319
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:30,749
Maybe he came to me for comfort.
320
00:13:30,750 --> 00:13:32,879
He trusted me.
321
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,550
That's beautiful.
322
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,320
Yes, that's what they
said at the audition.
323
00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:37,980
They cast me on the spot.
324
00:13:37,990 --> 00:13:40,029
Not the role I auditioned
for... it was too young...
325
00:13:40,030 --> 00:13:41,689
but I still get to crawl around
326
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,039
and interact with the audience
327
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,739
before the show.
328
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:48,489
So, you're more of a dog person, huh?
329
00:13:48,490 --> 00:13:49,989
Yeah, I guess so.
330
00:13:49,990 --> 00:13:53,039
Hmm. You had a dog, you act like a dog.
331
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,709
Are you being funny or mean?
What's happening?
332
00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:57,400
What's happening is you're showing up
333
00:13:57,420 --> 00:14:00,000
at my girl Kat's place with
your booze and your hair
334
00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:02,250
and your big old teeth
and confusing her,
335
00:14:02,260 --> 00:14:03,920
making her think you're gonna kiss her.
336
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,179
- Did she say that?
- Randi.
337
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:07,759
I need to talk to you.
338
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,100
E-Excuse me.
339
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,030
Carter and I have
never spoken privately,
340
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,780
so this must be important.
341
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,930
Stay, dog.
342
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,340
The ashes are two hours away.
343
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,530
Says traffic's real bad on the highway.
344
00:14:21,540 --> 00:14:22,740
Well, then text him back
345
00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:25,279
and tell him a real man would
be driving on the grass.
346
00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,740
It's all good. I got us covered.
347
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,870
We'll tell Kat the ashes are in here.
348
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,730
That looks like it was
painted by a child.
349
00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:34,420
Well, C.J. made it for
me for Father's Day.
350
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,369
I even filled it with rice so
the weight would be right.
351
00:14:36,370 --> 00:14:38,459
This sounds like rice.
352
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:41,039
Well, you only thinking about
rice 'cause I said it was rice.
353
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,589
Hey, Randi, I'm about
to start the memorial.
354
00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:45,129
I need Mr. Mousekers' ashes.
355
00:14:45,130 --> 00:14:46,520
Makes sense.
356
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:50,100
Uh, can I have them?
357
00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:52,739
Of course.
358
00:14:52,740 --> 00:14:55,139
They said not to shake it,
out of respect.
359
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:57,609
Uh, this is not the box that I ordered.
360
00:14:57,610 --> 00:15:00,100
I ordered a-a pretty one made of walnut
361
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,019
with a plaque and little paw prints.
362
00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:03,790
Well, they said this
was the temporary one,
363
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,460
because the nice one takes a while.
364
00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,050
Yeah, because there's
a walnut wood shortage.
365
00:15:08,060 --> 00:15:11,160
Makes you think, we really
only have one Earth.
366
00:15:15,660 --> 00:15:18,160
I'd like to thank you all
for coming here today
367
00:15:18,170 --> 00:15:21,820
to celebrate the furry friends
we've loved and lost.
368
00:15:21,830 --> 00:15:23,700
Oh, uh, quick announcement,
369
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,640
I did extend the kettle corn guy
370
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:27,049
for another 30 minutes.
371
00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:29,089
Thank you, sir. No need for pushing.
372
00:15:29,090 --> 00:15:31,259
It's just sweet popcorn.
373
00:15:31,260 --> 00:15:36,610
Um, I've written a poem to
honor my cat Mr. Mousekers,
374
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:39,480
whose passing inspired
this beautiful gathering.
375
00:15:43,660 --> 00:15:46,379
"God, feed my cat smoked salmon up there
376
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,829
"and take him on long drives,
377
00:15:48,830 --> 00:15:51,440
"and tell him just how great he was
378
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,640
"in all of his nine lives.
379
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:55,719
"Make the days real bright for him
380
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:57,900
"so he can lie out in the sun.
381
00:15:57,920 --> 00:15:59,860
"Oh, and get a laser pointer.
382
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,419
"He thinks that's really fun.
383
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:04,160
"If you lose him, don't be frightened.
384
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:06,300
"He's probably in a drawer.
385
00:16:06,310 --> 00:16:08,380
"Or sitting in a box somewhere.
386
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,339
"He thinks that's what they're for.
387
00:16:10,340 --> 00:16:11,820
Love you, Lassie.
388
00:16:13,010 --> 00:16:16,730
"I know you're awfully busy
and have many pets to love,
389
00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:18,840
"but tell mine that I miss him
390
00:16:18,860 --> 00:16:21,350
and give him an extra hug."
391
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:27,680
All right, now I'd like to invite
some friends to join me up here
392
00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:30,150
and liven things up a little bit.
393
00:16:30,170 --> 00:16:32,540
* Some glad morning *
394
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,639
* When this life is over *
395
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:38,899
* I'll fly away *
396
00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:43,289
* To the home on God's celestial shore *
397
00:16:43,290 --> 00:16:47,330
* I'll fly away *
398
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:51,820
* I'll fly away, oh *
* Glory *
399
00:16:51,850 --> 00:16:54,700
* I'll fly away *
400
00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,849
- * In the morning *
- * When I die *
401
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,590
* Hallelujah, by and by *
402
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,640
* I'll fly away *
403
00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:07,240
* When the shadows... *
404
00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:08,980
Can you believe she owns this place
405
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,740
and has a cute young boyfriend?
406
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,700
I didn't think those two
things could coexist,
407
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:14,110
but I'm happy to be proven wrong.
408
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,299
Put a cork in it, cat lady.
I'm trying to listen.
409
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:21,820
* I'll fly away, oh *
* Glory *
410
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,460
* I'll fly away *
411
00:17:24,470 --> 00:17:26,100
* In the morning *
412
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:30,540
* When I die *
* Hallelujah, by and by *
413
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,220
* I'll fly away. *
414
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:38,759
Kat, guess what?
415
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:41,380
I asked Ray to form a
bluegrass band with me
416
00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:42,430
and he said yes.
417
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:44,420
Oh, so your feeling was right.
418
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,780
You were meant to be together.
419
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,070
Just, in a band, not in holy matrimony.
420
00:17:48,090 --> 00:17:50,980
Yeah, but I can still live
with hope in my heart.
421
00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:55,560
Hey. I loved your poem.
422
00:17:55,570 --> 00:17:57,680
I bet Mr. Mousekers and Winston
423
00:17:57,700 --> 00:17:59,790
are probably smiling
down on us right now.
424
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:01,800
Mr. Mousekers was never
really one for smiling.
425
00:18:01,820 --> 00:18:03,840
When he was happy,
he'd-he'd look past you
426
00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:05,709
and rub his butt up against your arm.
427
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:06,959
I had an ex who did that.
428
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,700
- Julia.
- Sophomore year.
429
00:18:11,050 --> 00:18:14,719
Kat, I-I, uh, feel like I need
to tell you something.
430
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:17,260
Um, come here.
431
00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:20,919
- Are you mad at me again?
- No.
432
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,499
Is it 'cause I was pitchy
during the singing?
433
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,980
- Mm, no.
- Sometimes I get pitchy
434
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,499
- 'cause I'm caught up in my spoons.
- No. No.
435
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,470
No, I just, I want to...
436
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:28,739
I just want to clear up something
437
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:31,439
about the other night when I came over.
438
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,640
The reason Brigitte broke up
with me in the first place
439
00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:36,659
is because she never
felt like I was all in.
440
00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:39,239
And she was right. I always
felt like something was missing.
441
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:44,060
And what was missing was
a-a real friendship with her.
442
00:18:44,080 --> 00:18:45,458
Like the one we have.
443
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,380
So...
444
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,590
if you felt like I wanted
to kiss you the other night,
445
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,380
it's because I did.
446
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:59,639
Did you know this and
you never said anything?
447
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,920
I like to keep things
mysterious and suspenseful.
448
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,660
Look, I know this is bad timing,
449
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:07,829
'cause you're dating somebody,
450
00:19:07,830 --> 00:19:10,420
but if there's one thing
I learned from you,
451
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,230
is that it's better to make a bold move.
452
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:17,570
So, this is my bold move.
453
00:19:19,270 --> 00:19:20,370
Wow.
454
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,489
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
455
00:19:23,490 --> 00:19:25,159
Well, you were right.
456
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,418
- Your timing is, like, ugh.
- Way off, I know.
457
00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:30,469
Um, yeah.
458
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:32,669
Okay, well, I'm gonna go, uh,
splash some cold water on my face.
459
00:19:32,670 --> 00:19:37,010
And I'm gonna go reapply my deodorant,
like, uh, like, a lot of it.
460
00:19:38,570 --> 00:19:40,020
Oh.
461
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,199
Mr. Mousekers!
462
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,139
Is this... Is this rice?
463
00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:46,610
I can explain.
464
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:50,540
Y-You know how in the Bible,
things turn into other things?
465
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,400
I believe we have a
miracle on our hands.
466
00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:55,520
Randi, what is going on?
467
00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:59,580
Okay, see, after I picked
up Mr. Mousekers' ashes,
468
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,410
I accidentally left
them in a car service.
469
00:20:02,430 --> 00:20:05,540
And by the time I contacted
the driver, he was in Chicago,
470
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,210
ironically, to comfort his mother,
471
00:20:07,220 --> 00:20:09,269
who had just lost her cat.
472
00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:11,169
You can't make this stuff up.
473
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:12,959
And I didn't have time
474
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,919
to drop everything and go to Chicago.
475
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,250
So where is Mr. Mousekers now?
476
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:18,420
He's right here.
477
00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:23,429
You didn't have to work late?
478
00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:26,929
You went all the way to
Chicago for Mr. Mousekers?
479
00:20:26,930 --> 00:20:30,390
If something is important to
you, it's important to me.
480
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:37,730
Do I smell kettle corn? I haven't
eaten in, like, ten hours.
481
00:20:37,740 --> 00:20:39,890
Yeah. Go get some.
482
00:20:39,900 --> 00:20:43,660
Katharine, this cat and
I both dipped our paws
483
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,660
into the shrimp cocktail
at the same time.
484
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:48,290
I think I've found my soul mate.
485
00:20:48,310 --> 00:20:51,580
Oh. Good for you, Mother.
486
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:02,040
That makes one of us.
487
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:37,040
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
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36641
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