Original subtitles

? ?

No, no, it's fine.

No.

No, I know, I know. It's so horrible.

Paul, wake up, wake up. Mum's been burgled.

- Oh... oh, fuck. - Have you called the police?

They're on their way. I'm going there now.

- Where? - To Mum's.

- Why? - 'Cause she's been burgled.

- Fuck, as well? - No, you bellend.

She's the one that's been burgled, not us.

Oh, thank Christ for that.

That's not what I meant.

Uh, hang on, do you want me to come with you?

You know, as a man?

No, maybe stay here as a father?

- [snaps] - That's a good plan, isn't it?

Oh, and can you check on Luke?

- 'Cause his light's on. - Oh, is it?

He's probably staring at that bloody screen.

- Okay, bye, love you, see you. - Yeah, love you.

Shit.

[sighing]

[light dramatic music]

? ?

Mum?

Leah: I'm in here.

They took my grandmother's ring, Ally, the ruby.

Oh, it's okay, Mum, I'm here.

I didn't know what to do.

The police said, "Don't touch anything till we arrive,"

so I've just been standing here like a tit.

Oh, Mum, come on.

I think it's okay to sit down now.

God, I feel all shaky.

Well, you're bound to, it's horrible.

Let's get you a brandy.

- I've already had one. - But I'll have another.

They took the necklace you bought me,

- all of my jewelry. - Aw...

Well, at least they didn't completely trash the place.

Yes, you hear about them defecating in the lounge

and masturbating into your knicker drawer, don't you?

- Do you? - Yes, semen everywhere.

That's what they gloss over on "Crimewatch."

- Mm. - How did they get in?

God knows, because I definitely locked

all the windows and doors when I went out,

before you accuse me of having "dement-ee-ah."

- Sorry, having what? - "Dement-ee-ah."

It's a hard T. Everyone gets it wrong.

[doorbell rings] [gasps] Oh!

- No, no, it's okay. - Mum, it's okay.

It's just the police. I'll get it.

Coming!

You're staying at our place tonight, Mum, okay?

[indistinct conversation]

[grunts]

[sighs deeply]

You should be asleep, mate. Come on, lights out.

And you need to get off that thing.

- What thing? - I'm not on it.

Bullshit, hand it over.

It's over there, it's charging.

- Mm. - I just can't get to sleep.

Most nights I can't get to sleep.

Well, you're overstimulated.

Too much information, too much blue light.

No wonder you can't shut down.

- I don't think it's that. - No, it is that.

From now on, bedrooms are a device-free zone, okay?

- Why are you up? - [sighs]

Mum's gone to look after Granny Leah,

- she's been burgled. - Oh, God.

Oh, no, she's fine, I think.

Don't give Mum any other reason to be worried, all right?

- Light off, please. - Okay.

That's it... just lay still and you'll drop off.

- You've always said that. - Since I was little.

- [sighs] - Well, one day it'll work.

[curtain rings clink]

Right, who needs more toast and who needs tea?

- Toast, Leah? - Of course not.

I haven't eaten breakfast since the '90s.

You should eat something, Granny.

Eating makes you fat, darling.

Being fat is terrible.

- Don't listen, Ava. - Granny is a lunatic.

Hey, are you all right, love? You look shattered.

I am a bit; Do I still have to go to school?

Yes. You're only feeling like crap

because you were up half the night on your screens.

Really wasn't.

Yeah, because I took them away.

Let him have the day off if he wants.

All their energy goes into their balls at his age.

- Oh, my God. - Come home with me, Luke.

Help me tidy up.

I wouldn't mind doing that, actually.

No, and anyway you need to be there tonight

- for your parents' evening. - Oh, yeah.

Come on, mate, off you bugger.

We'll see you later.

Ava, teeth, please.

- See you later, love. - Bye.

- Down in five, yeah? - Mm-hmm.

Is it like this every morning?

- Like what? - Chaotic.

Our house wasn't like this in the mornings

when you were growing up.

Well, that's because I was away at boarding school

and Michael was shagging his way around New Zealand.

It was just you on your own eating air for breakfast.

[cell phone chimes]

- Taxi's outside. - What?

Are you going home already?

- Of course, I'm fine. - I won't let the terrorists win.

- Were they terrorists? - They terrorized me, Paul.

But sometimes you just have to get on with things.

No point crying over spilt milk, or semen.

There was no semen, Mum.

[lively music]

? ?

- Hey. - Hi, Ms. Stewart.

- Can take a seat there. - How you doing?

Good.

- Luke loves his history. - Always has.

Right.

Is... is there a problem?

Luke is currently on a grade four.

Sorry, what's that in old money?

- That would have been a C. - A "C," right.

- So then he's passing. - That's great.

Not really.

If Luke wants to be able

to choose history as a GCSE option,

then he'd currently, ideally, be on a grade five.

Mm, which is a B?

- No, it's still a C. - Oh.

He'd need to be on a grade five now,

- aiming for a six. - And a six is a B?

It doesn't particularly help to translate the grades

back to their older equivalents.

It does a bit.

So the haiku version of this

is that Luke is falling behind?

Luke's focus has slipped quite dramatically

over the last couple of months.

- Is that fair, Luke? - Yes, Miss.

I've been revising, but it just won't stay in my head.

He seems really tired most of the time.

Falling asleep in class.

- Actually falling asleep? - Luke?

I sometimes do, 'cause I'm not sleeping at night.

We are much stricter on bedtimes these days,

and we're limiting time on screens

and social media, all of that.

Right, it's just that it's such a crucial time

- in terms of exam preparation. - Of course, yeah.

And if Luke wants to be able to study history for GCSE,

then something's gonna have to change.

He needs to get his focus back.

[warm music]

- [laughs] - Boom, boom, boom!

- Pew, pew! - Pew, pew, pew!

[sighs] Wish we could still run about with sticks.

We could if we wanted.

Yeah, but we'd be put away in the madhouse.

You don't say madhouse anymore.

You say mental home. [both laugh]

But anyway, they don't put you now.

They medicate you

and you just sit at home watching "Loose Women."

- Sounds fucking great. - I know, right?

- [laughs] - Pew, pew!

It is good being a kid, though, isn't it?

- Yeah. - There he is!

- Hey! - Hello, mate.

Yes, all right! Do you got your shirt signed?

- Said all your goodbyes? - Yes.

- Ready for the next stage? - Yeah, bring it on!

- All right, good boy. - Come on, then.

? ?

You spelled "temperatures" wrong.

- Oh. - It's an A there, not an E.

- Hi, love. - Hiya.

- Hi, Grace. - Hi.

- How was parents' evening? - Oh, you know.

Well, it's lots of positives.

You staying for your tea, Grace?

- Yes, please, if it's okay. - Yeah, of course.

That's a nice computer.

Yeah, the school got it for me.

- Wow, did they? - Yeah, for her SATs.

I've been diagnosed with ADHD and dyspraxia and anxiety,

so the school helps me out.

I get a computer and extra time in exams.

- Right, great. - It's very caring.

Okay, for the second question,

it says give an example...

[breathes deeply]

[indistinct chatter]

Do you think we should...

What?

Well, do you think we should get Luke some help?

- What sort of help? - A... like, tutor?

They cost a bomb.

- No, mental help. - Brain help.

- No, no, no, no. - No.

He's just being 13.

- [sighs] - Hmm.

- But he could, you know. - What?

If we get him officially, you know...

- Branded? Stigmatized? - No.

No, I'm just thinking that... it's like with Grace.

Extra exam time, a laptop.

She's already really smart,

so this could be the golden ticket for her.

She's gonna sail through school.

So you wanna get Luke labeled

so he can get extra exam time?

He is obviously having some problems at the moment,

is he not? So why not?

- Capitalize on it? - No.

Yes. Yes.

- Use his weakness as a strength. - No.

- Like in sumo. - No, no.

He's a teenager. Thoughts, hormones, madness.

Let's just, you know, hold fire for now.

Okay, we'll hold fire,

but let's not hand in our guns just yet.

Right, but, you know, we should

at least make sure the safety catches are on.

Let's not be trigger happy...

How many more of these have you got?

None.

Ally: Are you sure you don't wanna stay at ours?

Or I can stay with you for the night.

I just... I don't like you being there on your own.

I've been here on my own for over 20 years, I'm fine.

[screams] Who is it?

I've got an air rifle!

Mum, what is happening?

It's all right, Granny, it's me.

- [sighs] - It's fine.

It's Luke. It's not a terrorist.

Ally: What the hell is Luke doing at your house?

He should be at school.

Leah: Well, I'll make him some

orange squash or something.

[sighs]

So the Riddler is different to the Joker?

Yeah, of course.

Well, it all seems remarkably lighthearted,

considering they're murderers.

- Jesus Christ! - No, no.

- It's only a single. - Medicinal.

He shocked me, and I shocked him with my scream.

- What are you doing here? - You should be at school.

It all got too much.

Too much?

Okay, Luke, just... can you get in the car, please?

- Bye, Granny. - Bye.

- You all right, Mum? - I'm absolutely fine.

Waste not want not. This is a decent cognac.

[sighs]

- God, I'm sorry about all this. - Don't be.

It's good Luke wants to come here.

He said it was nice and quiet.

Right, so you're implying our house isn't?

- I am not criticizing you. - Currently.

But it's just bound to be quieter here

because it's only me.

Noise and bustle and chaos can be tough for boys like Luke.

- Like him? - Neurotics.

And I mean that in a kind way.

Alex: Hello? Leah, it's just me.

Young man let me in.

Oh, hi, I'm Alex. I live just across the way.

- This is my daughter, Ally. - Hey, hi.

I'm delighted to meet you.

Thank you so much for popping over.

Oh, it's my pleasure, my pleasure.

Anything to help.

It must have been an awful shock.

It was, I'm not really anywhere near being over it.

Well, I have ten window locks which will thwart

even the most determined of burglars.

- Bless you. - I'll make a start

in the front room, yeah?

I'll make some tea.

Wonderful.

[whistling]

"I'm not really anywhere near b eing over it."

You said you were absolutely fine.

I don't like you to worry.

Now stop arching your eyebrows

and go look after that son of yours.

Call me anytime.

See you.

Alex: [whistling]

When you say it all got too much, Luke,

what got too much?

- All of it. - Right.

But, like, all of what?

- [sighs] - All of the...

[sighs deeply]

I can't explain it. I'm sorry.

- I'm really sorry, Mum. - No, it's fine, it's fine.

Don't worry. It's all right.

[melancholy music]

? ?

Paul : None of this stuff was in the baby manuals, was it?

This isn't "support the head"

or bath temperatures or mixing formula.

Where's our fucking manual now?

If we get Luke diagnosed as, whatever,

suffering from anxiety or depression

or being on the spectrum...

You think he's on the spectrum?

Well, I don't know, I'm as ignorant as you are.

- None taken. - [laughs softly]

If we get him labelled, then isn't that saying,

"You've got limitations that you can't do anything about,"

and then he might stop trying.

No, but we can't just leave him

to tough it out on his own, can we?

Like, send him into a Young Offender's Institute.

I'm not saying that, Paul.

I'm not Cruella de Vil or that woman from "Annie."

You are, a bit.

[blows raspberry]

[sighs]

Should we just give the kids up for adoption

and go and live in Portugal? [chuckles]

Done.

Fucking sardines for breakfast. Yes, please.

I'll go check on him.

[light dramatic music]

? ?

[door creaks]

- Here it is, mate. - Ceremonial robes.

You excited for tomorrow?

You gotta be up early, yeah?

Out the door by 8:00.

I've got an alarm set on my watch.

- Oh, good boy. - [sighs]

You're allowed to feel a bit nervous too.

- Are you a bit nervous? - A little bit, maybe.

Yeah, you'll be great.

Some of the boys have got beards.

Oh, those wispy little things... nah.

My nana had a better beard than most of them.

[laughs]

It'll go great tomorrow, Luke, I promise you.

Don't worry about a thing, okay?

? ?

Come here. Good night, mate.

- Good night, Daddy. - Dad.

[door creaks]

- [knocks softly] - Luke.

Sorry, I'll turn the lights off.

It's fine.

Listen.

Do you wanna talk to me about anything?

Like, what's going on with you when you can't sleep?

No, it's fine.

It's not fine, though, is it?

You can tell me, mate.

It'll sound weird.

Not to me it won't, I promise.

[sighs]

It's like I can't turn my brain off.

It's like it's chattering but I can't hear what it's saying.

Even when I do get to sleep,

waking up, my heart is beating so fast

like I've been running for miles,

and I can feel all the blood swooshing in my ears,

trying to escape.

- Christ, mate. - That's shit.

Waking up is so horrible that I don't wanna go to sleep.

Waking up is like hell.

Sometimes I wish that... [sighs]

What?

- Nothing. - Am I going mental, Dad?

No.

You've got some problems,

but lots of people feel like you do.

- I'm gonna fail everything. - No, you're not.

No, you're not, because we're gonna help you.

And right now we don't know exactly what will help,

but I promise you we will figure this out, okay?

[soft dramatic music]

Yeah?

Yeah.

Good.

Lights out.

Good night, mate. I love you, Luke.

I love you too.

? ?

He's still sleeping...

His school work's all gone to shit,

and we can't help feeling it's our fault.

- Well, it is. - Well, thanks.

You know what I mean.

Parents are always to blame. [chuckles]

You blamed us when you failed your driving test.

- Did I? - Yes.

- Why? - Fuck alone knows.

Because it's good to have somebody to blame

who isn't you.

"They fuck you up, your mum and dad."

It's true, they do,

but you can also use them as an excuse for your own failures.

I don't wanna nag Luke.

- Good. - Nagging never works.

We didn't nag you, and you turned out all right.

Did I, though?

I got stressed out in my A-levels

and you had to get me beta blockers.

Oh, yeah.

You got your knickers in a right old twist.

- You fainted... - Passed out.

In the English exam.

Very Jane Austen. But you got through it.

Yeah, but with drugs.

I needed a crutch, something that said,

"Please recognize I have a problem."

We all need something to take the edge off sometimes.

Very dehydrated here, Chris.

You're a good dad, Ally's a good mum.

You'll sort this out.

[cell phone ringing]

Excuse me.

Hello?

Yeah.

Right.

Right.

Is he okay?

All right, I'll be there soon. Thanks.

That was his school.

They think Luke's had a panic attack.

He's in medical.

They say he can stay there for the afternoon.

- Where are you going? - To a fucking roller disco,

where do you think? I'm gonna pick up my son.

Okay, but what will you do then?

I don't know.

You'll know when you get there.

You're his old man.

Cheers, Dad.

[soft dramatic music]

[indistinct chatter]

Right. Go on in, soldier.

Time to go in.

- I don't want to go in, Dad. - You've got to, mate.

So come on, hey. Deep breath, yeah?

You got this.

[loud indistinct chatter, laughter]

? ?

Chuck the stick down, mate.

In you go.

Good boy, Luke.

[exhales deeply]

Do you want a mint?

? ?

[device chimes]

That's us.

Because now he's in the system.

- No, he's not in the system. - I just took him to the GP.

Anyway, I thought we'd agreed to him seeing a doctor.

When?

We did not agree to that at all.

- [exhales sharply] - Didn't we?

Well, we didn't agree not to take him either.

- No, we didn't agree anything. - That was the point.

We were gonna hold fire. All that shit about the guns.

Yeah, but then Luke hit a crisis, right?

So I thought the doctor should see him in crisis.

It's what my gut told me.

Well, I wish your gut had spoken to me first.

- Uh-huh. - [sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs] Right.

So it's generalized...

- both: Anxiety disorder. - Yeah.

There's medication if we want him to take it.

Oh, fuck!

We can tell the school if we want,

but we don't have to.

- Well, okay. - So...

So it's as official as we want to make it.

All right, then.

I was just trying to do the right thing.

Actually, Luke did seem a bit better this evening.

I think a weight has been lifted.

You know, now he knows it's a thing.

It's a recognizable thing. He's not going mad.

[dramatic music]

[sighs]

? ?

How's your mum, by the way?

Ally: She's great.

Yeah, she's being really strong.

- Good. - Mm.

- It's really good news. - Great.

[sighs]

We're actually making some progress.

[sniffles]

? ?