Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,683 --> 00:00:13,028
East Coast polls are closing, ma'am.
2
00:00:16,247 --> 00:00:17,723
Ma'am...
3
00:00:17,724 --> 00:00:21,539
History is calling, and
it won't go to voicemail.
4
00:00:27,224 --> 00:00:29,474
Hey.
5
00:00:29,526 --> 00:00:30,976
You okay, ma'am?
6
00:00:30,978 --> 00:00:33,562
Oh, I'd love one, Gary. Thank you.
7
00:00:33,614 --> 00:00:36,281
Okay, I'll get... I'll get you one.
8
00:00:36,316 --> 00:00:40,535
Well, I've asked America if she
wants me to be her president.
9
00:00:42,322 --> 00:00:44,372
Now she's gonna give us her answer.
10
00:00:44,408 --> 00:00:47,158
America doesn't just love you, ma'am,
11
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,794
she is in love with you.
12
00:00:49,830 --> 00:00:52,831
We've lost Kentucky!
13
00:01:02,248 --> 00:01:05,335
synced and corrected by Caio
www.addic7ed.com
14
00:01:05,570 --> 00:01:08,096
So I assume you reached
out to the O'Brien camp.
15
00:01:08,148 --> 00:01:10,482
Taking a meeting with
Charlotte or with Kim?
16
00:01:10,517 --> 00:01:13,485
No, I haven't contacted the O'Brien team.
17
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,855
Amy, if he wins, our lobbying stock
is gonna droop like a chimp's tits.
18
00:01:16,857 --> 00:01:18,023
We're not gonna be the golden kids anymore.
19
00:01:18,075 --> 00:01:19,240
We've got to stay on his radar.
20
00:01:19,276 --> 00:01:21,076
But we need to be in with her, too.
21
00:01:21,111 --> 00:01:22,861
- She might win.
- Yeah.
22
00:01:22,913 --> 00:01:24,746
Well, on air I'm gonna keep in with her.
23
00:01:24,781 --> 00:01:27,449
Off air I'm telling the Nazis
that she's hiding in the attic.
24
00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:28,533
- Hey.
- Hey.
25
00:01:28,585 --> 00:01:29,918
- Hi.
- Hey, so...
26
00:01:29,953 --> 00:01:31,870
we have Sally Davenport with us, of course.
27
00:01:31,872 --> 00:01:33,371
We've also got Matty Curtis.
28
00:01:33,373 --> 00:01:34,873
- Wow.
- Love that guy.
29
00:01:34,925 --> 00:01:36,541
The online statistics savant.
30
00:01:36,543 --> 00:01:40,428
Yeah, in the midterms, he predicted
the margin in every Senate seat.
31
00:01:40,464 --> 00:01:43,048
So, suck it, Fox.
32
00:01:43,050 --> 00:01:44,966
So we doing this or what?
33
00:01:45,018 --> 00:01:47,052
Hey, well, thank God you're here.
34
00:01:47,054 --> 00:01:49,304
No one else here knows how
tonight will go. Have fun.
35
00:01:49,356 --> 00:01:51,189
- Yeah, we'll see you out there.
- Okay.
36
00:01:51,224 --> 00:01:53,391
So, closest election in living memory.
37
00:01:53,443 --> 00:01:55,193
- Yeah.
- Hope you guys are prepared.
38
00:01:55,228 --> 00:01:57,395
- We will do our best.
- Well, we're gonna need better than that.
39
00:01:57,447 --> 00:01:59,230
- Okay.
- I'm kidding. I'm just kidding.
40
00:01:59,232 --> 00:02:01,232
But you better be good.
41
00:02:02,569 --> 00:02:04,402
Sorry, guys, we need
this area to be clear.
42
00:02:04,454 --> 00:02:06,655
Hey, wait, it's the testicle man.
43
00:02:06,707 --> 00:02:09,207
Guilty as charged. Check
'em, don't neglect 'em.
44
00:02:09,242 --> 00:02:11,743
This whole scrotum situation is
really working out for you, sir.
45
00:02:11,745 --> 00:02:14,462
That hearing was terrible, but it
really got my face out there, you know?
46
00:02:14,498 --> 00:02:17,916
You're the face of workplace
bullying and genital health.
47
00:02:19,503 --> 00:02:21,886
Look at this. Mike wants me
up in the presidential suite
48
00:02:21,922 --> 00:02:24,339
to get a one-on-one
thank-you from the president.
49
00:02:24,391 --> 00:02:25,724
- How do I look?
- Great.
50
00:02:25,759 --> 00:02:26,891
Thanks.
51
00:02:26,927 --> 00:02:28,343
Oh, no, no,
no. One-on-one.
52
00:02:28,395 --> 00:02:29,511
Oh, yeah, okay.
53
00:02:30,597 --> 00:02:32,681
Oh, man, election nights are my cocaine.
54
00:02:32,733 --> 00:02:35,183
It used to be election nights and
cocaine were my cocaine, but...
55
00:02:35,235 --> 00:02:37,435
If Fox says it's close, then it must be.
56
00:02:37,487 --> 00:02:40,188
- Then again, they said the Rapture was close.
- Anything yet?
57
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,490
Indiana and South Carolina,
they just called for O'Brien.
58
00:02:42,526 --> 00:02:46,277
Uh, Vermont and Connecticut,
yep, they're for us.
59
00:02:46,329 --> 00:02:48,413
Yeah, Vermont! Yeah, Connecticut!
60
00:02:48,448 --> 00:02:51,533
Okay, settle down. A bowl of
hair could win those states.
61
00:02:51,585 --> 00:02:54,369
- Ma'am, you have a moment for Jonah?
- Oh, Jonah. Oh, yeah.
62
00:02:54,421 --> 00:02:56,871
I want to thank you for
your work on men's health
63
00:02:56,923 --> 00:03:00,008
and talking about that
bullying that you had to endure.
64
00:03:00,043 --> 00:03:01,092
Thank you, ma'am. It was my honor...
65
00:03:01,128 --> 00:03:02,460
You know what? I need to thank Vermont.
66
00:03:02,512 --> 00:03:04,045
Yeah, that's it, Jonah.
It's been a busy night.
67
00:03:04,097 --> 00:03:05,630
What was that? I got, like, four seconds.
68
00:03:05,632 --> 00:03:07,132
Well, most people get just two.
69
00:03:07,184 --> 00:03:08,633
Projections for Wisconsin, ma'am.
70
00:03:08,635 --> 00:03:09,884
- Great.
- I haven't read them yet.
71
00:03:09,936 --> 00:03:11,469
I'm saving that for when I go to prison.
72
00:03:11,471 --> 00:03:12,804
Even money they give you the chair.
73
00:03:12,856 --> 00:03:14,889
No one came out of the
hearings unscathed, Bill.
74
00:03:14,941 --> 00:03:16,524
I had to ditch my fianc�.
75
00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:18,143
I'll be thinking about that
while I'm with whichever guy
76
00:03:18,195 --> 00:03:20,195
- makes me his prison fianc�.
- Ew.
77
00:03:20,230 --> 00:03:23,732
Oh, Gary, I asked a friend to
come and be with me tonight.
78
00:03:23,784 --> 00:03:25,150
- How nice.
- Yeah, Karen.
79
00:03:25,202 --> 00:03:26,484
- Fuck!
- What?
80
00:03:26,536 --> 00:03:28,369
Cramp.
81
00:03:28,405 --> 00:03:31,489
Senator O'Brien has 33 electoral
votes based on our projection.
82
00:03:31,541 --> 00:03:34,409
President Meyer has 10.
Is this significant, Dan?
83
00:03:34,461 --> 00:03:37,162
Oh, I think it's far, far too
early to tell at this point.
84
00:03:37,164 --> 00:03:39,414
- I mean the election really...
- Very significant.
85
00:03:39,466 --> 00:03:42,333
Uncertainty in battleground states
is bleeding into other areas.
86
00:03:42,385 --> 00:03:44,803
It's the suburbs that are
gonna decide this contest.
87
00:03:44,838 --> 00:03:46,971
Well, Amy, Dan, who do
you feel will win tonight?
88
00:03:47,007 --> 00:03:48,173
- It's so close.
- So close.
89
00:03:48,225 --> 00:03:50,258
It's a tough call to make at this point.
90
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:53,011
Mm-hmm, and not just for
us, Greg, but for America.
91
00:03:53,063 --> 00:03:55,096
That was transcendent bullshitting.
92
00:03:55,148 --> 00:03:56,264
Well, I'll tell you one thing,
93
00:03:56,316 --> 00:03:58,600
if I do lose, I'm gonna lose like a winner.
94
00:03:58,685 --> 00:04:00,185
- You're not gonna lose, okay?
- Right. Right.
95
00:04:00,237 --> 00:04:02,854
You're gonna win in a slide.
96
00:04:02,906 --> 00:04:04,823
You know, marginally.
97
00:04:06,777 --> 00:04:08,493
Oh, my God, look who's here!
98
00:04:08,528 --> 00:04:11,579
- Hi, it's Karen.
- It's Karen.
99
00:04:11,615 --> 00:04:13,782
- Hi.
- Hi.
100
00:04:13,834 --> 00:04:16,417
- Everybody, Karen.
- Oh, hi, Tom.
101
00:04:16,453 --> 00:04:18,536
Karen. Yeah, we met at the convention.
102
00:04:18,538 --> 00:04:20,121
Okay.
103
00:04:20,173 --> 00:04:21,206
Tell me how you're doing.
104
00:04:21,208 --> 00:04:23,258
Well, I'm trying to stay positive.
105
00:04:23,293 --> 00:04:24,959
We lost Oklahoma.
106
00:04:25,011 --> 00:04:26,928
Which we were expected to, so...
107
00:04:26,963 --> 00:04:28,630
It's only seven votes.
108
00:04:28,682 --> 00:04:30,465
Ah! These damn hotel carpets.
109
00:04:30,517 --> 00:04:32,550
I keep getting that static electric shock.
110
00:04:32,552 --> 00:04:36,221
- You need one of those ionic bracelets that grounds you.
- Good call.
111
00:04:36,223 --> 00:04:39,808
It's the prison toilet situation
which preys on one's mind.
112
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:43,528
Defecating in full view of
another man is unthinkable.
113
00:04:43,563 --> 00:04:46,865
Forgive me, Bill, but I don't
wish to ever discuss this.
114
00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:48,566
Yeah, Bill, put a cork in it, will you?
115
00:04:48,618 --> 00:04:50,451
You know, that actually may help.
116
00:04:50,487 --> 00:04:53,154
Hey, listen, how much
did you pay your lawyers?
117
00:04:53,206 --> 00:04:55,156
Because I lawyered up for the hearings
118
00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:57,325
and they charged me 15 grand
119
00:04:57,377 --> 00:04:59,627
and they only said words, you know?
120
00:04:59,663 --> 00:05:01,412
Shh! There's a call coming.
121
00:05:01,414 --> 00:05:03,164
He's like a Native American tracker.
122
00:05:03,216 --> 00:05:04,582
He can hear it in the wind.
123
00:05:04,634 --> 00:05:06,668
Senator O'Brien is the predicted victor
124
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,671
- in the great state of Minnesota.
- Oh, fuck!
125
00:05:09,723 --> 00:05:12,423
- I thought that was ours.
- I thought we had it.
126
00:05:12,425 --> 00:05:14,759
- I wasn't entirely sure.
- Ma'am.
127
00:05:14,761 --> 00:05:16,978
- Shit.
- Excuse me for one second.
128
00:05:17,013 --> 00:05:18,596
I'm not saying we will, because we won't,
129
00:05:18,648 --> 00:05:22,183
but if we do lose and you're an
outgoing president, you could...
130
00:05:22,235 --> 00:05:23,818
- I could pardon you?
- Yes.
131
00:05:23,854 --> 00:05:26,654
That wouldn't look good. You'd
be the first person to say that.
132
00:05:26,690 --> 00:05:30,909
I'm not entirely sure I
would in this circumstance.
133
00:05:30,944 --> 00:05:33,661
- If there's any way...
- Hey, Bill, I got a lot on the line
134
00:05:33,697 --> 00:05:35,446
with my presidency right now,
135
00:05:35,448 --> 00:05:38,917
so I don't really have time to be thinking
about your whatever the fuck it is.
136
00:05:38,952 --> 00:05:40,451
- Probable imprisonment.
- Exactly.
137
00:05:40,503 --> 00:05:41,953
- Thank you, ma'am.
- You're welcome.
138
00:05:41,955 --> 00:05:45,006
What will you do if O'Brien wins?
139
00:05:45,041 --> 00:05:47,008
Set up an office with Selina
at the Betty Ford Clinic?
140
00:05:47,043 --> 00:05:50,295
No, I've applied for a job outside.
141
00:05:50,297 --> 00:05:51,880
Politics bores me.
142
00:05:51,932 --> 00:05:54,682
It bores the living hell out of me.
143
00:05:54,718 --> 00:05:56,134
God, it's boring.
144
00:05:57,220 --> 00:06:00,271
Amy looks off her game, distracted.
145
00:06:00,307 --> 00:06:03,191
I only really know Amy as the
woman who rushed everywhere
146
00:06:03,226 --> 00:06:05,810
clutching her phone like it
contained her frozen embryos.
147
00:06:05,862 --> 00:06:07,478
She's a workaholic.
148
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,565
Works frantically to avoid
dealing with her weird mix
149
00:06:10,617 --> 00:06:12,784
of lack of self-worth and narcissism.
150
00:06:12,819 --> 00:06:14,485
I really like her.
151
00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:18,539
Uh, ma'am, I don't mean to be
the bearer of bad news, but...
152
00:06:18,575 --> 00:06:21,826
Called Wisconsin.
Projected as an O'Brien win.
153
00:06:21,828 --> 00:06:24,662
That was the bad news, which
in the end I didn't bear.
154
00:06:24,664 --> 00:06:27,382
Well, this is certainly something
not many people saw coming.
155
00:06:27,417 --> 00:06:30,551
For me, it's the domino that
signals an O'Brien victory tonight.
156
00:06:30,587 --> 00:06:34,339
This is a big, big win for O'Brien,
157
00:06:34,391 --> 00:06:37,008
and I think the Meyer team
is gonna be feeling that.
158
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:38,559
The bigness.
159
00:06:38,595 --> 00:06:40,144
Mm-hmm.
160
00:06:40,180 --> 00:06:43,598
Amy, is the race already slipping
away from your former boss?
161
00:06:43,650 --> 00:06:45,066
No. No.
162
00:06:45,101 --> 00:06:49,404
Um, a lot of the polls have not closed yet.
163
00:06:50,857 --> 00:06:53,074
So, no. No, you know, it's no.
164
00:06:53,109 --> 00:06:57,195
I think O'Brien's gonna win this election.
165
00:06:57,197 --> 00:06:58,863
O'Brien can't be president.
166
00:06:58,915 --> 00:07:01,082
He's still contracted to be the KFC logo.
167
00:07:01,117 --> 00:07:03,167
- Eh...
- You're gonna win this, ma'am.
168
00:07:03,203 --> 00:07:04,535
- I don't know.
- You are.
169
00:07:04,537 --> 00:07:07,205
- You think you would have won?
- What do you mean?
170
00:07:07,257 --> 00:07:09,374
If you had been the candidate,
you think you would have won?
171
00:07:09,376 --> 00:07:12,176
'Cause that's the speculation, you know.
172
00:07:12,212 --> 00:07:13,678
What do you think, Karen?
173
00:07:13,713 --> 00:07:16,547
About something specific, or...?
174
00:07:16,549 --> 00:07:19,384
Should the president
and I have swapped roles?
175
00:07:19,436 --> 00:07:22,887
- For?
- For the election.
176
00:07:22,889 --> 00:07:24,439
This election. There's
an election going on.
177
00:07:24,474 --> 00:07:28,226
Oh, well, you're asking
me a hypothetical question
178
00:07:28,228 --> 00:07:30,945
and I need to answer it as best I can.
179
00:07:30,981 --> 00:07:33,398
Okay, well, you just did.
180
00:07:33,450 --> 00:07:35,733
Great.
181
00:07:35,785 --> 00:07:39,370
Amy, I saw your instability on TV.
182
00:07:39,406 --> 00:07:40,872
Call me when you get this.
183
00:07:40,907 --> 00:07:43,041
Get someone else to dial if
you're in a straightjacket.
184
00:07:44,327 --> 00:07:46,160
Hey, I'm sending some
of our data to O'Brien.
185
00:07:46,246 --> 00:07:48,079
If he wins this thing,
I need to kiss his ass.
186
00:07:48,081 --> 00:07:49,714
Mm-hmm. I'm going. I have to go.
187
00:07:49,749 --> 00:07:51,249
What? No, you can't do that.
188
00:07:51,301 --> 00:07:52,917
Yeah, no, I have to see
this play out with Selina.
189
00:07:52,969 --> 00:07:55,503
I've spent a third of my life
leading up to this night, so...
190
00:07:55,555 --> 00:07:57,005
Amy...
191
00:07:58,808 --> 00:08:01,259
Greg, I have to go.
192
00:08:01,311 --> 00:08:02,810
- You have to go?
- Yeah.
193
00:08:02,846 --> 00:08:04,178
What does that mean?
This is not summer camp.
194
00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:06,647
Well, I just feel that
I'm needed elsewhere.
195
00:08:06,683 --> 00:08:09,934
Oh, well, then please go.
196
00:08:09,936 --> 00:08:12,937
Some of our viewers were complaining
that you're shrill anyway, so...
197
00:08:12,939 --> 00:08:14,772
Oh, shrill? No, no, I'm never shrill.
198
00:08:14,824 --> 00:08:16,657
And that's... Oh!
- Oh.
199
00:08:16,693 --> 00:08:18,493
And you're acting as though
I'm sounding shrill right now?
200
00:08:18,528 --> 00:08:21,446
Yeah, yeah, keep making that
face implying that I'm shrill.
201
00:08:21,498 --> 00:08:22,914
Hey, could someone check the parking lot?
202
00:08:22,949 --> 00:08:24,749
I think all the alarms are going off.
203
00:08:24,784 --> 00:08:26,167
Sorry for your loss, ma'am.
204
00:08:26,202 --> 00:08:27,952
I mean about Wisconsin, not a person.
205
00:08:27,954 --> 00:08:29,954
Ow! Fuck!
206
00:08:30,006 --> 00:08:32,256
I forgot. I have incompatible
shoes with the rug.
207
00:08:32,292 --> 00:08:33,708
- God.
- I'm so sorry.
208
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,760
We don't have a lot of good
news for President Meyer.
209
00:08:35,795 --> 00:08:37,929
Screw this whole sloppy,
210
00:08:37,964 --> 00:08:41,182
backseat blowjob of a night
anyway. I don't give a shit.
211
00:08:41,217 --> 00:08:42,967
- Hang on.
- Hang on what?
212
00:08:43,019 --> 00:08:44,969
The Wisconsin call has been rescinded.
213
00:08:44,971 --> 00:08:46,304
You mean they went back on the call?
214
00:08:46,356 --> 00:08:48,973
Yes, hence my saying that they had.
215
00:08:48,975 --> 00:08:51,609
Rescinded is actually not a
word that's immediately clear.
216
00:08:51,644 --> 00:08:54,479
This is a 360-degree
turn. - - It's 180.
217
00:08:54,531 --> 00:08:58,232
Rescinded is my new favorite word!
218
00:08:58,284 --> 00:09:00,535
We are back in the
game. Back from the dead.
219
00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:02,820
Zombies, bottom of the ninth.
220
00:09:02,822 --> 00:09:03,905
Ma'am, listen to this.
221
00:09:03,957 --> 00:09:06,491
Fox just called Colorado for you.
222
00:09:06,543 --> 00:09:08,826
- No!
- Oh, my God!
223
00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:13,498
Stand back, Meyer is on fire.
224
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:16,050
Look, look. Mom, CNN has it, too.
225
00:09:16,086 --> 00:09:19,003
It appears that Matty's domino
is standing up straight again.
226
00:09:19,005 --> 00:09:20,888
Obviously this is a shock
227
00:09:20,924 --> 00:09:22,673
- and needs some
unpacking. - Mm-hmm.
228
00:09:22,725 --> 00:09:24,425
Oh, yeah, you better unpack it.
229
00:09:24,477 --> 00:09:25,560
"Let's see if we can unpack this now."
230
00:09:25,595 --> 00:09:27,812
"Oh, I've got pubic hair on my head."
231
00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,483
The models are only as good as
the data that you put into them
232
00:09:32,519 --> 00:09:33,734
and the data comes from
the polling companies.
233
00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:35,770
So maybe we should talk to
them about what went wrong.
234
00:09:35,855 --> 00:09:38,156
- Your website is shit.
- Honest to God. Shit.
235
00:09:38,191 --> 00:09:40,358
- It's shit.
- Go back to the Shire,
236
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:42,994
- you fucking moonfaced hobbit.
- Yeah.
237
00:09:43,029 --> 00:09:46,447
You know, ma'am, can we talk privately?
238
00:09:46,499 --> 00:09:48,116
Oh, sure, yeah.
239
00:09:49,202 --> 00:09:52,036
I'd like to think that I have been
240
00:09:52,088 --> 00:09:54,088
- some use to the campaign.
- You've been great.
241
00:09:54,124 --> 00:09:55,540
I mean, you know, everyone's like,
242
00:09:55,592 --> 00:09:58,376
"Oh, Tom James. Ooh, it's Tom James.
243
00:09:58,378 --> 00:10:02,380
He's so dreamy. Sign my tits, Tom James."
244
00:10:04,050 --> 00:10:08,219
Um, but anyway, so... But you were saying?
245
00:10:08,221 --> 00:10:09,303
Madam President,
246
00:10:09,355 --> 00:10:12,523
I don't want to be impotent.
247
00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:14,442
I... I don't really...
248
00:10:14,477 --> 00:10:17,478
- In your administration.
- Oh, right!
249
00:10:17,530 --> 00:10:20,364
I have had this very conversation.
250
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:23,401
You want to be first in,
last out of cabinet meetings.
251
00:10:23,403 --> 00:10:27,405
- You want...
- No, I want to be treasury secretary.
252
00:10:27,457 --> 00:10:29,574
- What?
- As well as veep.
253
00:10:29,576 --> 00:10:32,960
You want to run my economy?
254
00:10:32,996 --> 00:10:34,795
Bank of Tom James.
255
00:10:34,831 --> 00:10:37,748
- I am bitterly disappointed...
- With respect...
256
00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:39,634
- that you...
- With respect,
257
00:10:39,669 --> 00:10:42,587
this administration was
coming apart at the seams
258
00:10:42,639 --> 00:10:44,388
during those hearings and I used six rolls
259
00:10:44,424 --> 00:10:46,757
of Magic Tape to stick it back together.
260
00:10:48,011 --> 00:10:49,844
Anything else you want to ask for?
261
00:10:49,896 --> 00:10:52,096
Want your face on money or something?
262
00:10:53,266 --> 00:10:55,349
Want that TV? Take it.
263
00:10:57,487 --> 00:11:00,238
coming in, a low
voter turnout in Broward County.
264
00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:12,533
- Sing with me.
- No.
265
00:11:12,585 --> 00:11:15,536
What's this... this job you've applied for?
266
00:11:15,588 --> 00:11:18,005
It's a big food corporation.
United Seasonings.
267
00:11:18,041 --> 00:11:20,124
They supply 90% of the country's paprika.
268
00:11:20,176 --> 00:11:21,425
Yep, we lobbied for them,
269
00:11:21,461 --> 00:11:24,045
so my hands are dirty with paprika money.
270
00:11:24,097 --> 00:11:26,514
I'll mention
how good you are to them.
271
00:11:26,549 --> 00:11:28,132
No need, they already know.
272
00:11:28,184 --> 00:11:30,101
- That's right.
- This election is too close to call.
273
00:11:36,392 --> 00:11:39,026
It's unbelievable. It's
still impossible to call.
274
00:11:39,062 --> 00:11:41,812
I've known sailors less likely
to go either way than this.
275
00:11:41,864 --> 00:11:44,148
I... pardon my ribaldry.
276
00:11:44,150 --> 00:11:46,651
- Hey, Illinois is still ours, isn't it?
- Yes.
277
00:11:46,653 --> 00:11:49,320
- And lowa called for O'Brien.
- Fuck lowa.
278
00:11:49,322 --> 00:11:51,739
I'd say nuke it, but I
think someone already did.
279
00:11:51,791 --> 00:11:54,492
Pennsylvania's too close to
call. Florida's too close to call.
280
00:11:54,544 --> 00:11:56,794
You might gather the general trend
281
00:11:56,829 --> 00:11:58,713
is that it's too close to call.
282
00:11:58,748 --> 00:12:02,333
The congressional results are similarly tight.
283
00:12:02,335 --> 00:12:05,503
- Okay, you don't need to shake that bag, all right?
- Hmm?
284
00:12:05,555 --> 00:12:07,421
Try chewing with your mouth
closed. See if that works.
285
00:12:07,473 --> 00:12:09,390
All right, they're saying we're
gonna get a clearer picture
286
00:12:09,425 --> 00:12:10,975
of this whole thing in about an hour.
287
00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:12,643
God, I am so tense.
288
00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:14,929
I could crack a walnut in my ass.
289
00:12:14,981 --> 00:12:17,231
- Right, Mom, come with me.
- What?
290
00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:19,350
Just get out of here until
this picture becomes clearer.
291
00:12:19,402 --> 00:12:22,603
- Maybe have some
mother-daughter time? - Okay.
292
00:12:26,326 --> 00:12:29,110
Everybody give it up
for Band of the Horses.
293
00:12:30,697 --> 00:12:32,530
Wait, what?
294
00:12:32,582 --> 00:12:33,864
Oh, Band... Oh, I'm sorry.
295
00:12:33,866 --> 00:12:36,117
I'm sorry. Give it up for Band of Horses.
296
00:12:36,169 --> 00:12:38,919
Band of Horses.
297
00:12:38,955 --> 00:12:41,956
I just want to say thank you for supporting
298
00:12:42,008 --> 00:12:44,375
the men's health campaign
299
00:12:44,377 --> 00:12:47,628
and letting me tell guys that
they should feel themselves up.
300
00:12:49,015 --> 00:12:52,767
Easiest job I ever had.
301
00:12:52,802 --> 00:12:55,970
You guys remember my... you guys
remember my catchphrase, right?
302
00:12:56,022 --> 00:12:57,688
Remember it? Just to jog your memory.
303
00:12:57,724 --> 00:13:00,891
Just remember, check
'em, don't neglect 'em.
304
00:13:00,893 --> 00:13:03,394
Check 'em, don't neglect 'em.
305
00:13:03,396 --> 00:13:06,397
Nice. You guys remember the A-Team, right?
306
00:13:06,449 --> 00:13:09,867
A-Team? "I'm
the A-Team."
307
00:13:09,902 --> 00:13:12,453
Mr. T. Um...
308
00:13:12,488 --> 00:13:14,205
they were supposed to be on the run,
309
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:17,241
but, you know, they were
in a really distinctive van.
310
00:13:19,379 --> 00:13:21,629
Yeah, what was up... What was up with that?
311
00:13:21,664 --> 00:13:25,216
Feeling kind of zen-ish, you know?
312
00:13:25,251 --> 00:13:27,752
I realize that there's
nothing more I can do.
313
00:13:27,804 --> 00:13:29,170
Things are out of my control
314
00:13:29,222 --> 00:13:32,056
and I just have to let the tension go.
315
00:13:33,476 --> 00:13:35,593
Get the fuck out of here, Kent.
316
00:13:35,595 --> 00:13:38,262
Apologies.
317
00:13:38,264 --> 00:13:40,231
I'm sorry about you and Jason.
318
00:13:40,266 --> 00:13:44,151
I know that my job can be hard on you
319
00:13:44,187 --> 00:13:45,603
and that was a bit of a bummer, huh?
320
00:13:45,655 --> 00:13:47,738
- Yeah, just a little bit.
- Yeah.
321
00:13:47,774 --> 00:13:51,275
But like you said, I can't be
married to a lobbyist, so...
322
00:13:51,277 --> 00:13:52,610
Yeah, and he was, like, 60.
323
00:13:52,662 --> 00:13:55,863
- He was 35.
- How did he take it?
324
00:13:55,915 --> 00:13:58,783
It's hard to tell. He's
not really big on emotions.
325
00:13:58,835 --> 00:14:00,618
Mm-hmm.
326
00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:03,120
You know, Catherine,
327
00:14:03,172 --> 00:14:06,674
men are horrible.
328
00:14:07,627 --> 00:14:09,260
Okay?
329
00:14:09,295 --> 00:14:10,711
I mean, I have to just
330
00:14:10,763 --> 00:14:12,546
tell it to you like it is, honey.
331
00:14:12,598 --> 00:14:18,135
But all men are awful.
332
00:14:18,137 --> 00:14:19,270
Really.
333
00:14:19,305 --> 00:14:22,440
And the key is to just find a man
334
00:14:22,475 --> 00:14:25,309
who's the least horrible.
335
00:14:25,311 --> 00:14:27,194
Okay, Mom.
336
00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:30,448
Oh, look at that photo of you and me.
337
00:14:30,483 --> 00:14:33,484
- You look like me in that picture.
- No.
338
00:14:33,536 --> 00:14:34,902
No, uh-uh. Not at all.
339
00:14:34,954 --> 00:14:36,821
- Yeah, a little
bit... - No, uh-uh.
340
00:14:36,823 --> 00:14:39,573
- Oh.
- Oh, there's Daddy.
341
00:14:40,877 --> 00:14:43,878
- Horrible.
- Mom.
342
00:14:43,913 --> 00:14:46,414
Okay, I'm back. How long was I gone?
343
00:14:46,466 --> 00:14:48,632
- About 20 minutes.
- Is that it?
344
00:14:48,668 --> 00:14:50,968
God, it always seems longer with Catherine.
345
00:14:51,003 --> 00:14:53,254
All right, so what's my destiny here?
346
00:14:53,306 --> 00:14:54,755
Still unfathomable.
347
00:14:54,807 --> 00:14:57,641
Why can't the American
people make up their minds?
348
00:14:57,677 --> 00:15:00,344
I mean, how hard is it to
decide between two candidates?
349
00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:02,513
Oh, for fuck's sake.
350
00:15:02,565 --> 00:15:04,098
- Amy.
- Hey, Sue.
351
00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:06,434
- Amy, nice to see you.
- Hi. Mmm.
352
00:15:06,486 --> 00:15:09,770
I've got to get a little space
between Karen's mouth and my ears.
353
00:15:09,822 --> 00:15:11,439
I'm gonna hit the soda
machine. Anybody want anything?
354
00:15:11,491 --> 00:15:12,990
Just something with real sugar.
355
00:15:13,025 --> 00:15:15,359
No sweeteners or I'll shit my pants.
356
00:15:15,411 --> 00:15:17,161
- Welcome back.
- Thank you.
357
00:15:18,915 --> 00:15:21,332
Ahem.
358
00:15:21,367 --> 00:15:23,951
- Hello, ma'am.
- Oh, wow.
359
00:15:24,003 --> 00:15:26,086
TV's Amy Brookheimer.
360
00:15:26,122 --> 00:15:29,039
I felt that I needed to be here, ma'am.
361
00:15:29,041 --> 00:15:31,375
We went through so much
together getting you here, so...
362
00:15:31,377 --> 00:15:34,295
Pennsylvania results are about to
come in. They're about to call this.
363
00:15:34,347 --> 00:15:36,046
So how is it...
- Shh.
364
00:15:36,048 --> 00:15:37,715
Pennsylvania called for O'Brien.
365
00:15:37,717 --> 00:15:39,884
Oh, no way!
366
00:15:39,936 --> 00:15:42,603
- I said we should have gone back there.
- And you were right.
367
00:15:42,638 --> 00:15:45,890
- Why did you ever resign?
- It's hard to understand.
368
00:15:45,975 --> 00:15:48,225
I think Pennsylvania is the
real significant call tonight.
369
00:15:48,277 --> 00:15:51,779
Pennsylvania, you had that as a
Meyer win, is that right, Matty?
370
00:15:51,814 --> 00:15:53,481
Yeah, uh... yes.
371
00:15:53,533 --> 00:15:56,367
That's, um... Yes, we did.
372
00:15:56,402 --> 00:15:58,152
Can't predict everything
all the time, can you?
373
00:15:58,204 --> 00:15:59,870
Even though that is your job.
374
00:15:59,906 --> 00:16:01,705
Is this the end
for President Meyer, Dan?
375
00:16:01,741 --> 00:16:04,742
Well, I would not be surprised
if the president were thinking
376
00:16:04,794 --> 00:16:07,878
about calling Senator O'Brien
very soon to concede this election.
377
00:16:07,914 --> 00:16:09,246
What do experts know?
378
00:16:09,248 --> 00:16:12,166
Got O'Brien 267, us 207.
379
00:16:12,218 --> 00:16:15,803
If those are right, it looks
like he's got the election.
380
00:16:15,838 --> 00:16:18,222
These are projections.
These are not real results.
381
00:16:18,257 --> 00:16:20,841
They're ghosts.
382
00:16:20,893 --> 00:16:24,562
You can't... you can't concede.
383
00:16:24,597 --> 00:16:27,731
I know you want to, but you
really, really shouldn't.
384
00:16:27,767 --> 00:16:29,266
Or...
385
00:16:30,152 --> 00:16:31,268
What?
386
00:16:33,489 --> 00:16:34,905
I'm gonna concede.
387
00:16:34,941 --> 00:16:37,658
I, Uh...
388
00:16:37,693 --> 00:16:39,610
I don't see any point in dragging this on.
389
00:16:39,662 --> 00:16:42,913
And I'd like to have a little
bit of dignity in defeat.
390
00:16:44,283 --> 00:16:46,116
So, um...
391
00:16:47,370 --> 00:16:49,286
I'm gonna call O'Brien.
392
00:16:49,338 --> 00:16:51,455
This fucking job sucks anyway.
393
00:16:53,092 --> 00:16:55,175
Please don't electrocute me.
394
00:17:09,609 --> 00:17:12,026
The next voice you hear
will be the president.
395
00:17:13,646 --> 00:17:16,313
- Bill.
- A fascinating night, ma'am.
396
00:17:16,365 --> 00:17:20,200
Were you calling me for a
particular reason, Madam President?
397
00:17:20,236 --> 00:17:22,653
I wanted to just start by thanking you
398
00:17:22,655 --> 00:17:26,156
for conducting a very dignified...
399
00:17:26,208 --> 00:17:27,658
Ben.
400
00:17:27,710 --> 00:17:29,627
Yeah, Mike, Selina's conceding,
401
00:17:29,662 --> 00:17:33,914
so forget about the soda and
just grab a crate of whiskey.
402
00:17:35,835 --> 00:17:37,468
Fuck.
403
00:17:38,554 --> 00:17:42,640
I know.
404
00:17:42,675 --> 00:17:44,842
Time to turn that noose
back into a necktie, buddy.
405
00:17:44,894 --> 00:17:46,176
I got something you're gonna want to hear.
406
00:17:46,228 --> 00:17:48,095
Dan, there's nothing
useful you can tell me.
407
00:17:48,180 --> 00:17:50,014
Pennsylvania was the wrong call.
408
00:17:50,016 --> 00:17:51,315
We think it's gonna go Selina.
409
00:17:51,350 --> 00:17:52,766
Look, I have no idea how...
410
00:17:52,818 --> 00:17:55,903
No! Don't! Don't! Stop the concession!
411
00:17:55,938 --> 00:17:58,322
So, Bill, I feel now
is the time to call you
412
00:17:58,357 --> 00:18:01,659
- and...
- Ma'am, don't. No, no, no.
413
00:18:01,694 --> 00:18:05,195
Um, also another thing
I'd like to just mention...
414
00:18:05,247 --> 00:18:06,947
Uh, how's it going?
415
00:18:06,999 --> 00:18:08,365
How's it going?
416
00:18:08,367 --> 00:18:10,034
You and I are the only ones
417
00:18:10,086 --> 00:18:11,368
sort of going through the same thing
418
00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:13,537
and I just...
419
00:18:13,539 --> 00:18:15,422
Ma'am, forgive me for being direct,
420
00:18:15,458 --> 00:18:17,041
but you're not conceding?
421
00:18:17,043 --> 00:18:19,760
Um, no. I don't know why
422
00:18:19,795 --> 00:18:22,880
you would even imagine that
I would be doing that, Bill.
423
00:18:22,932 --> 00:18:25,215
people of Pennsylvania
go to Selina Meyer.
424
00:18:25,217 --> 00:18:27,801
Yeah, I don't know if
you've seen this, Bill,
425
00:18:27,853 --> 00:18:30,471
but they seem to have
called Pennsylvania for me.
426
00:18:30,523 --> 00:18:32,272
Yes, I heard that.
427
00:18:32,308 --> 00:18:34,725
I wonder if there's anything that you
428
00:18:34,777 --> 00:18:37,111
would like to say to me right now.
429
00:18:37,146 --> 00:18:40,614
I'm taking the White House.
Please leave the hot tub on.
430
00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:42,566
I don't think so, my friend.
431
00:18:48,908 --> 00:18:51,909
Sir, the crowd is getting restless.
The band has stopped playing.
432
00:18:51,911 --> 00:18:54,294
I've given them my best material
and we don't know what to do.
433
00:18:54,330 --> 00:18:55,713
We need to give them a
hit of political meth.
434
00:18:55,748 --> 00:18:57,164
I think we should send out Tom James.
435
00:18:57,216 --> 00:18:59,049
Uh, ma'am, would you consider allowing Tom
436
00:18:59,085 --> 00:19:00,751
to go out on the rally stage?
437
00:19:00,753 --> 00:19:04,588
What? Uh, well, let's
see. First of all, no.
438
00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,057
And then the other thing
I really wanted to say
439
00:19:07,093 --> 00:19:09,727
was no.
440
00:19:09,762 --> 00:19:10,644
I'm hearing a no.
441
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,563
Jonah, sorry, the answer is...
442
00:19:12,598 --> 00:19:15,232
Oh, hello.
443
00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:18,435
- What?
- Holy mother of moly.
444
00:19:18,487 --> 00:19:21,689
- What is it?
- Ma'am, Fox is calling Washington State for us.
445
00:19:21,741 --> 00:19:23,440
Yes!
- No!
446
00:19:23,492 --> 00:19:25,943
- They called Ohio.
- Oh, my God, that's amazing!
447
00:19:25,945 --> 00:19:28,195
- Ohio?
- No, for O'Brien. I should have said.
448
00:19:28,247 --> 00:19:31,532
- Oh, my God.
- ABC is saying it's still too close to call.
449
00:19:31,584 --> 00:19:34,702
- Yeah.
- No, they're calling it now... O'Brien.
450
00:19:34,754 --> 00:19:36,920
- Shit!
- Fox again and Politico.
451
00:19:36,956 --> 00:19:38,839
New Hampshire to O'Brien and Ohio.
452
00:19:38,874 --> 00:19:41,959
- Yes, we took Florida!
- Oh!
453
00:19:41,961 --> 00:19:43,794
- That is extraordinary.
- Yes.
454
00:19:43,846 --> 00:19:45,763
- What is my number now, Kent?
- Okay, one second.
455
00:19:45,798 --> 00:19:47,514
- You're two... You're...
- What?
456
00:19:47,550 --> 00:19:50,017
- Yeah, you're 256.
- Kent, where does that leave us?
457
00:19:50,052 --> 00:19:51,802
Okay, it all comes down to Virginia.
458
00:19:51,854 --> 00:19:54,104
If O'Brien gets Virginia, he wins.
459
00:19:54,140 --> 00:19:57,441
- However, if we get Virginia...
- We win!
460
00:19:57,476 --> 00:19:59,777
No, actually, Gary, if we get it, we tie.
461
00:19:59,812 --> 00:20:01,729
- What?
- What?
462
00:20:01,781 --> 00:20:04,448
I don't follow these things that closely,
but that's right, isn't it, Mr. Davison?
463
00:20:04,483 --> 00:20:05,699
Yes.
464
00:20:05,735 --> 00:20:08,736
Tie, like it's a tie? You mean, we tie?
465
00:20:08,788 --> 00:20:11,789
- You do.
- The real shock, Greg, is where this leaves us.
466
00:20:11,824 --> 00:20:14,158
Neck and neck if the
president takes Virginia.
467
00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:16,210
Matty, you'll forgive me
if I sideline you here.
468
00:20:16,245 --> 00:20:18,545
- Sure.
- Dan, you know the president well.
469
00:20:18,581 --> 00:20:22,633
What is going on in that Meyer
hotel suite right this second?
470
00:20:22,668 --> 00:20:24,885
The president has a lot of top
minds working on her campaign.
471
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,086
They're gonna be all over this.
472
00:20:26,138 --> 00:20:28,672
What happens when there's a tie?
473
00:20:28,724 --> 00:20:31,842
Everybody goes online to try to find
out what happens if we get a tie.
474
00:20:31,844 --> 00:20:35,012
Way ahead of you. Shit, I'm
just getting how to tie a tie.
475
00:20:35,014 --> 00:20:38,432
Is there a book? Like an
old-fashioned... like a paper book?
476
00:20:38,484 --> 00:20:40,484
Jesus Christ, you know?
477
00:20:40,519 --> 00:20:42,569
You do your best. You
try to serve the people
478
00:20:42,605 --> 00:20:44,571
- and then they just fuck you over.
- Yeah.
479
00:20:44,607 --> 00:20:47,324
And you know why? Because they're ignorant
480
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,026
and they're dumb as shit.
481
00:20:49,078 --> 00:20:51,361
And that, ladies and
gentlemen, is democracy.
482
00:20:51,363 --> 00:20:53,781
- God damn it.
- It's the 12th Amendment.
483
00:20:53,833 --> 00:20:56,700
- I have 20th Amendment.
- Why are there so many amendments?
484
00:20:56,752 --> 00:20:58,252
Get it right the first time, people.
485
00:20:58,287 --> 00:21:01,371
It's actually both. 12th
is superseded by the 20th.
486
00:21:01,423 --> 00:21:05,292
They give the House until January
20th to elect the president.
487
00:21:05,344 --> 00:21:09,046
Each state gets one vote. First
candidate to 26 is the new president
488
00:21:09,048 --> 00:21:10,881
and the Senate chooses the VP.
489
00:21:10,933 --> 00:21:14,384
It's a close election with a ton
of House races too close to call.
490
00:21:14,386 --> 00:21:15,886
What happens if it's a tie in the House?
491
00:21:15,888 --> 00:21:17,771
Right. - Is
it a dance-off?
492
00:21:17,807 --> 00:21:19,723
Well, vice president-elect
becomes president.
493
00:21:19,725 --> 00:21:22,059
Whoever the Senate has picked
for VP will be president.
494
00:21:22,111 --> 00:21:23,977
- Wait, that means...
- That Tom...
495
00:21:24,029 --> 00:21:27,030
- What?
- Could be the president.
496
00:21:28,367 --> 00:21:29,900
Well, I...
497
00:21:29,952 --> 00:21:32,069
I had literally no idea.
498
00:21:34,323 --> 00:21:36,123
It's good to be prepared.
499
00:21:39,495 --> 00:21:41,245
So, wait. So you mean that I...
500
00:21:41,297 --> 00:21:44,665
I might lose this election
to my fucking vice president?
501
00:21:46,085 --> 00:21:48,001
At least it'd be somebody
from our team, ma'am.
502
00:21:48,053 --> 00:21:50,137
I mean, that's good, right?
503
00:21:52,892 --> 00:21:55,259
I didn't mean to make her cry.
504
00:21:59,815 --> 00:22:01,765
There, there.
505
00:22:01,767 --> 00:22:04,101
Oh, it's gonna be okay.
506
00:22:06,272 --> 00:22:08,438
- She's going down.
- She's going down.
507
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,407
Don't touch her.
508
00:22:14,530 --> 00:22:17,281
- Yeah?
- Sir, I'm sorry to contact you directly,
509
00:22:17,333 --> 00:22:18,782
but the crowd is drooling for you.
510
00:22:18,834 --> 00:22:20,617
Yep, floor is wet out here.
511
00:22:20,619 --> 00:22:23,337
- Okay, great. Thank you.
- Tom James! Tom James!
512
00:22:23,372 --> 00:22:25,372
I'm gonna go rally the rally.
513
00:22:25,424 --> 00:22:27,958
With all due respect,
514
00:22:28,010 --> 00:22:30,794
you need to get your
shit together now, lady.
515
00:22:30,930 --> 00:22:33,964
Ma'am up. You're still the
leader of the free world.
516
00:22:33,966 --> 00:22:36,350
Hmm?
517
00:22:38,137 --> 00:22:39,720
Where's Tom?
518
00:22:39,772 --> 00:22:42,723
Oh, he's gone to talk to
the crowd at the rally.
519
00:22:42,775 --> 00:22:44,942
- What?
- The fuck he has.
520
00:22:44,977 --> 00:22:46,393
Why would you let him do that?
521
00:22:46,445 --> 00:22:49,196
- Well, you don't work here.
- Well, neither do you.
522
00:22:49,231 --> 00:22:51,365
All right, fuck all of
you. I'm going to the rally.
523
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,533
Ma'am, ma'am, that would be unprecedented.
524
00:22:53,569 --> 00:22:55,986
No, I'll tell you what's
unprecedented, Kent.
525
00:22:55,988 --> 00:22:58,405
A tie is unprecedented.
526
00:22:58,457 --> 00:23:00,707
So is becoming the first lady president.
527
00:23:00,743 --> 00:23:05,078
So is that jackoff becoming
president through the back door.
528
00:23:05,130 --> 00:23:07,497
Okay? The rule book's been torn up now
529
00:23:07,549 --> 00:23:11,468
and America is wiping
its nasty ass with it.
530
00:23:12,638 --> 00:23:14,504
Get the fuck out of my way!
531
00:23:14,506 --> 00:23:17,224
- Ma'am! Ma'am!
- Let's go.
532
00:23:19,979 --> 00:23:22,012
Tom James! Tom James!
533
00:23:22,064 --> 00:23:25,232
Tom James!
534
00:23:29,321 --> 00:23:31,071
Thank you.
535
00:23:31,106 --> 00:23:33,273
Okay, I admit, this isn't boring.
536
00:23:33,325 --> 00:23:35,993
Why make the total of
electoral votes an even number?
537
00:23:36,028 --> 00:23:39,363
- Insanity?
- Listen, I know this is a long night.
538
00:23:39,415 --> 00:23:41,365
You're tired and you're
cold and your legs ache
539
00:23:41,417 --> 00:23:43,533
and you need the bathroom.
540
00:23:43,535 --> 00:23:45,702
Boy, do you need the bathroom.
541
00:23:46,956 --> 00:23:49,039
That fucking guy
542
00:23:49,091 --> 00:23:52,175
with his fucking charm and his fucking son
543
00:23:52,211 --> 00:23:55,762
and his fucking wheelchair
with his spine all fucked up.
544
00:23:55,798 --> 00:23:59,216
My grandmother survived the Dust Bowl.
545
00:23:59,268 --> 00:24:02,552
And before she died at the age of 89,
546
00:24:02,604 --> 00:24:05,889
she told me a secret that she kept
547
00:24:05,891 --> 00:24:07,474
for almost 50 years.
548
00:24:07,526 --> 00:24:08,608
The story concerns...
549
00:24:08,644 --> 00:24:11,695
Ladies and gentlemen, Tom James.
550
00:24:11,730 --> 00:24:15,198
How about it?
551
00:24:15,234 --> 00:24:18,452
Thank you. Thank you.
552
00:24:18,487 --> 00:24:21,238
Thank you. Wow.
553
00:24:21,290 --> 00:24:24,041
Do I know how to pick 'em? Yep.
554
00:24:24,076 --> 00:24:27,744
Well, thank you so much for being here.
555
00:24:27,796 --> 00:24:29,579
I know it's been a wait.
556
00:24:29,631 --> 00:24:32,749
And we really do appreciate your presence.
557
00:24:32,801 --> 00:24:35,002
What a night, right?
558
00:24:35,054 --> 00:24:37,587
It's the night of nights.
559
00:24:40,342 --> 00:24:42,559
Um, you know what I want to do?
560
00:24:42,594 --> 00:24:45,846
I want to introduce you
to the First Daughter
561
00:24:45,898 --> 00:24:47,764
of the United States,
562
00:24:47,766 --> 00:24:52,102
my daughter Catherine Selina Meyer.
563
00:24:52,154 --> 00:24:55,489
Catherine.
564
00:24:55,524 --> 00:24:56,940
Always a delight to have...
565
00:24:56,942 --> 00:25:00,410
She is such a beautiful
girl. I'm so proud of her.
566
00:25:00,446 --> 00:25:03,363
Well, we have another minute or so
before we're prepared to call Virginia.
567
00:25:03,415 --> 00:25:05,665
Just checking a couple of precincts.
568
00:25:05,701 --> 00:25:07,834
We've made some premature
calls this evening.
569
00:25:07,870 --> 00:25:11,371
So we're anxious to be
absolutely certain this time.
570
00:25:11,423 --> 00:25:14,091
Why don't we meet some of the people
571
00:25:14,126 --> 00:25:16,543
who lift me up?
572
00:25:16,595 --> 00:25:18,378
I'd like you to meet them.
573
00:25:18,430 --> 00:25:21,631
Guys, come on out. How
about these great faces?
574
00:25:21,683 --> 00:25:24,134
Incredible scenes. Never happened before.
575
00:25:24,186 --> 00:25:26,803
Very emotional moment. Dan,
do you wish you were there?
576
00:25:26,805 --> 00:25:28,855
I'm sure it's a very
exciting place to be at.
577
00:25:28,891 --> 00:25:30,357
There's never been an election like this.
578
00:25:30,392 --> 00:25:31,525
No.
579
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,227
You must want to be there.
580
00:25:34,279 --> 00:25:36,563
Folks, you don't know her,
but this is Karen Collins.
581
00:25:36,615 --> 00:25:40,484
And she has been a friend
of mine for a while.
582
00:25:40,536 --> 00:25:42,152
Yep.
583
00:25:42,154 --> 00:25:44,488
And Amy Brookheimer is here.
584
00:25:44,490 --> 00:25:49,242
Amy Brookheimer who so
successfully ran my campaign
585
00:25:49,294 --> 00:25:51,711
until she became unwell.
586
00:25:51,747 --> 00:25:55,298
I'll tell you somebody else
that is not here tonight
587
00:25:55,334 --> 00:25:57,050
who was with the campaign...
588
00:25:57,086 --> 00:25:58,385
Sounds like it could be you, Dan.
589
00:25:58,420 --> 00:26:00,470
Well, I would be incredibly touched.
590
00:26:00,506 --> 00:26:03,640
And that is, of course, Leslie Kerr.
591
00:26:03,675 --> 00:26:05,642
I'm sure Leslie is thanking you, too.
592
00:26:05,677 --> 00:26:08,595
And I'm hearing we can now
project a Virginia result.
593
00:26:08,647 --> 00:26:11,098
- Dan, what is that projection?
- Thank you, Greg.
594
00:26:11,150 --> 00:26:13,934
CNN is prepared to make
the following projection
595
00:26:13,986 --> 00:26:17,487
that Virginia, with its 13 electoral votes,
596
00:26:17,523 --> 00:26:19,689
is a win for President Meyer.
597
00:26:21,443 --> 00:26:23,026
This election is a tie.
598
00:26:26,615 --> 00:26:28,865
We did it!
599
00:26:30,002 --> 00:26:34,621
We have one more hurdle to overcome.
600
00:26:34,673 --> 00:26:36,706
And we shall overcome.
601
00:26:36,758 --> 00:26:39,843
One more river to cross.
602
00:26:39,878 --> 00:26:42,679
One more mountain to climb.
603
00:26:43,849 --> 00:26:46,516
But I have been to the mountaintop.
604
00:26:48,220 --> 00:26:50,053
Thank you.
605
00:26:57,813 --> 00:27:00,147
- I don't know what to do.
- We don't do anything.
606
00:27:00,199 --> 00:27:02,782
- You do what you have to do.
- Yeah, I'm getting drunk.
607
00:27:02,818 --> 00:27:04,818
Hey, Dan, when you get this,
608
00:27:04,870 --> 00:27:07,787
can you put in a good
word for me with Greg?
609
00:27:07,823 --> 00:27:10,323
I think that I need to
keep my TV work going.
610
00:27:10,375 --> 00:27:13,627
Okay, you're gonna win. And
if you don't, I'll kill myself.
611
00:27:13,662 --> 00:27:15,829
Kent, what happens
next? You've got to know.
612
00:27:15,881 --> 00:27:17,581
No, I'm afraid not. Some
of these House races,
613
00:27:17,633 --> 00:27:19,916
- they're still too close to call.
- What does that mean?
614
00:27:19,968 --> 00:27:22,219
Well, presently, we
cannot predict the result
615
00:27:22,254 --> 00:27:24,087
of the vote in Congress on January 20.
616
00:27:24,089 --> 00:27:26,756
- We're in a kind of purgatory.
- Welcome to my world.
617
00:27:26,758 --> 00:27:29,176
- Can you stop thinking about yourself for one second?
- Honestly.
618
00:27:29,228 --> 00:27:32,679
No, because I'm going to
prison. Have I mentioned that?
619
00:27:32,731 --> 00:27:34,681
- So what are we gonna do here?
- Should we drop the balloons?
620
00:27:34,733 --> 00:27:37,267
- No, no balloons.
- Maybe just drop half of them?
621
00:27:37,319 --> 00:27:39,486
- No!
- Why do we even have balloons?
622
00:27:39,521 --> 00:27:43,240
Ma'am, I seriously overstepped the mark
623
00:27:43,275 --> 00:27:45,775
going out onstage. That was a fuck-up.
624
00:27:45,777 --> 00:27:47,160
Yeah, I'll say.
625
00:27:47,196 --> 00:27:49,779
You might want to watch
that if you become president.
626
00:27:49,781 --> 00:27:51,781
If that does happen,
627
00:27:51,833 --> 00:27:53,283
want to be my veep?
628
00:27:56,705 --> 00:27:58,755
Why don't you go help
them with the balloons?
629
00:28:00,125 --> 00:28:01,791
Copy that.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
48818
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.