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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,031 --> 00:00:02,726 I was born in the year 2004 2 00:00:02,757 --> 00:00:05,164 to Bobber and Gobber Smartist. 3 00:00:05,164 --> 00:00:06,937 You're doing great. Push, honey. Push. 4 00:00:06,961 --> 00:00:08,528 Oh, man. Whoo! 5 00:00:08,561 --> 00:00:10,596 They named me... 6 00:00:10,631 --> 00:00:12,265 ...Axey Smartist. 7 00:00:12,299 --> 00:00:14,934 Because I was a baby with a mustache, 8 00:00:14,969 --> 00:00:17,879 they sometimes called me "Baby Mario." 9 00:00:17,911 --> 00:00:19,411 Here you go, Axey. 10 00:00:19,445 --> 00:00:21,313 This was not one of those times. 11 00:00:21,347 --> 00:00:24,768 My father was a carpenter, and my mother was a schoolteacher. 12 00:00:24,815 --> 00:00:27,080 She never had time to cook a full dinner, 13 00:00:27,151 --> 00:00:30,122 so she served us candy canes for every meal. 14 00:00:30,156 --> 00:00:31,423 Another great meal, dear. 15 00:00:31,457 --> 00:00:32,958 I hated candy canes. 16 00:00:32,992 --> 00:00:34,426 Mm. What is this? 17 00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:36,728 Rainbow cherry? I love it! 18 00:00:36,763 --> 00:00:39,765 I hated rainbow cherry the most. 19 00:00:39,799 --> 00:00:42,306 Then something bad happened... 20 00:00:42,627 --> 00:00:44,436 My parents died. 21 00:00:44,470 --> 00:00:47,806 Someone had poisoned their candy cane dinner. 22 00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:52,144 I swore then that I would find and kill the man... 23 00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:54,279 that did this to my parents. 24 00:00:54,314 --> 00:00:57,249 I also swore to never eat another candy cane 25 00:00:57,282 --> 00:00:59,283 as long as I live... 26 00:00:59,311 --> 00:01:04,181 because I hate candy canes. 27 00:01:04,223 --> 00:01:07,092 One day, at the scene of the fire. 28 00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:09,728 The cop found the perfect axe. 29 00:01:09,762 --> 00:01:11,997 That was the day he became... 30 00:01:12,031 --> 00:01:13,632 Axe Cop! 31 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,739 So he had tryouts and hired a partner. 32 00:01:21,307 --> 00:01:23,510 I will chop your heads off! 33 00:01:23,768 --> 00:01:27,854 Axe Cop 01x05 - Birthday Month Original Air Date: August 17, 2013 34 00:01:28,181 --> 00:01:29,852 Oh. Hey... Axe Cop. 35 00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,204 Hanging out in the dark? 36 00:01:31,235 --> 00:01:33,285 That's... weird but cool. 37 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:35,754 Aren't you gonna wish me a happy birthday? 38 00:01:35,788 --> 00:01:38,156 No, I-- no, I was waiting for the 6th, 39 00:01:38,191 --> 00:01:40,128 which is your birthday, right? 40 00:01:40,175 --> 00:01:43,089 This year, we're celebrating my birthday all month. 41 00:01:43,116 --> 00:01:45,038 Aah! But I don't have your present yet. 42 00:01:45,069 --> 00:01:46,135 Don't worry. 43 00:01:46,146 --> 00:01:47,490 I knew what you were gonna get me, 44 00:01:47,514 --> 00:01:49,739 so I went ahead and bought it for myself. 45 00:01:49,773 --> 00:01:51,541 You owe me a hundred dollars. 46 00:01:51,575 --> 00:01:53,743 Oh, okay. Can I pay you later? 47 00:01:53,777 --> 00:01:54,811 No. 48 00:01:55,980 --> 00:01:57,547 So what did I get you anyway? 49 00:01:57,581 --> 00:01:58,681 A butler. 50 00:01:58,716 --> 00:01:59,895 His name is Al. 51 00:01:59,934 --> 00:02:01,284 Al punch you in the face. 52 00:02:01,318 --> 00:02:02,225 You called, sir? 53 00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:03,890 Get the monster truck ready, Al. 54 00:02:03,925 --> 00:02:05,158 We have an important mission. 55 00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:06,293 Of course, sir. 56 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,475 So, Axe Cop, what's the important mission? 57 00:02:08,498 --> 00:02:10,496 There is no important mission. 58 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,592 We're going to the beach. 59 00:02:14,490 --> 00:02:18,273 Look at us, huh? On the beach, in the sun. 60 00:02:18,329 --> 00:02:19,863 This is a pretty good kickoff day 61 00:02:19,882 --> 00:02:21,492 to your birthday month, huh, Axe Cop? 62 00:02:21,531 --> 00:02:23,187 Since I already know about the butler, 63 00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:25,388 you have to get me a super secret gift. 64 00:02:25,422 --> 00:02:26,522 Okay. 65 00:02:26,556 --> 00:02:28,519 I think I know exactly what to get you. 66 00:02:28,558 --> 00:02:29,897 So do I... 67 00:02:29,935 --> 00:02:32,866 A magic axe that can turn into any weapon I want. 68 00:02:32,898 --> 00:02:34,332 Oh, not what I was thinking. 69 00:02:34,366 --> 00:02:35,600 You want some juice? 70 00:02:35,634 --> 00:02:38,069 We got grape juice, we have apple juice, 71 00:02:38,103 --> 00:02:40,071 and we have apple-grape juice. 72 00:02:40,105 --> 00:02:41,962 I'm gonna have an apple-grape juice. 73 00:02:42,975 --> 00:02:44,976 Look at how they put all this juice in boxes. 74 00:02:45,010 --> 00:02:46,510 You know? 75 00:02:46,545 --> 00:02:49,113 - What are they gonna think of next? - Wait, what's that? 76 00:02:49,147 --> 00:02:51,916 Ooh. It looks like a miracle of mermaids. 77 00:02:51,950 --> 00:02:53,784 Evil mermaids. 78 00:03:03,528 --> 00:03:04,829 Aah! 79 00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:11,969 Hey, Flute Cop! 80 00:03:12,004 --> 00:03:14,238 The ocean is safe again. 81 00:03:14,272 --> 00:03:17,208 Hey, man! Why'd you do that? 82 00:03:17,242 --> 00:03:19,076 Why'd you kill all my friends? 83 00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,312 Because they were obviously evil. 84 00:03:21,346 --> 00:03:23,648 There's no such thing as an evil mermaid. 85 00:03:23,682 --> 00:03:26,083 But they were making mean faces. 86 00:03:26,109 --> 00:03:28,689 No no no. This is a mean face. 87 00:03:28,729 --> 00:03:30,955 Uh, now you're smiling. 88 00:03:30,989 --> 00:03:33,784 - No. Now I'm smiling. - What? 89 00:03:33,823 --> 00:03:37,395 Here in the ocean, it's the bad guys that smile. 90 00:03:37,429 --> 00:03:39,196 Which means... 91 00:03:39,231 --> 00:03:40,865 I... 92 00:03:40,899 --> 00:03:43,567 Killed... good guys? 93 00:03:51,945 --> 00:03:53,942 Surprise! 94 00:03:57,716 --> 00:04:00,029 Yo, dude. What's going on with Axe Cop? 95 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,514 I don't want to get into it. 96 00:04:01,592 --> 00:04:04,727 Suffice to say, a lot of good mermaids' heads were cut off. 97 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,211 ♪ H - A - PP - Y ♪ 98 00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:10,531 ♪ H - A - PP - Y ♪ ♪ H - A - PP - Y ♪ 99 00:04:10,555 --> 00:04:12,703 ♪ Happy Birthday, Axe Cop! ♪ 100 00:04:13,725 --> 00:04:16,274 This cake is all wrong. 101 00:04:16,321 --> 00:04:19,235 But it's birthday flavored. Your favorite. 102 00:04:19,282 --> 00:04:21,483 And look, there's a candle of you holding an axe, 103 00:04:21,518 --> 00:04:22,551 just you like you do. 104 00:04:22,585 --> 00:04:24,305 You hold an axe, right? 105 00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:28,524 The candle is supposed to be of me holding up two axes! 106 00:04:28,558 --> 00:04:31,226 This is the worst birthday ever! 107 00:04:33,596 --> 00:04:35,616 Axe Cop? 108 00:04:35,679 --> 00:04:36,880 Hey, come on out, bro. 109 00:04:36,915 --> 00:04:38,082 No. 110 00:04:38,115 --> 00:04:40,563 We have an extra super secret birthday gift. 111 00:04:40,618 --> 00:04:42,119 You're gonna love it. 112 00:04:42,154 --> 00:04:43,921 It's awesome! 113 00:04:45,624 --> 00:04:47,324 How awesome could it be? 114 00:04:47,359 --> 00:04:49,493 It's not even in a big box. 115 00:04:49,527 --> 00:04:51,152 Just open it, will you? 116 00:04:51,188 --> 00:04:52,822 Fine. 117 00:04:53,711 --> 00:04:55,478 "Dear Axe Cop, we all chipped in 118 00:04:55,505 --> 00:04:58,231 and found out who killed your parents. 119 00:04:58,267 --> 00:05:01,191 It was Bad Santa." 120 00:05:03,354 --> 00:05:05,408 Now that's a birthday present. 121 00:05:05,432 --> 00:05:08,828 Oh, I knew he'd like it. I told you guys! 122 00:05:08,854 --> 00:05:10,093 Bad Santa, 123 00:05:10,127 --> 00:05:11,561 I hope you like dying 124 00:05:11,595 --> 00:05:14,431 as much as I'm going to enjoy killing you. 125 00:05:14,465 --> 00:05:16,766 Yeah, I'm pretty proud of that birthday gift. 126 00:05:18,169 --> 00:05:20,324 South Pole Planet. 127 00:05:20,371 --> 00:05:22,038 This is the place. 128 00:05:35,328 --> 00:05:37,476 Ho ho ho. 129 00:05:37,508 --> 00:05:39,176 Hello, Bad Santa. 130 00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:41,491 Axe Cop. 131 00:05:41,522 --> 00:05:47,527 Welcome to my magic workshop of torture and evil. 132 00:05:48,201 --> 00:05:49,443 I've been expecting you 133 00:05:49,459 --> 00:05:53,025 to walk through those gingerbread doors ever since 134 00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:57,030 I accidentally killed your parents. 135 00:06:00,124 --> 00:06:03,163 What? What do you mean "accidentally"? 136 00:06:03,249 --> 00:06:05,664 Those candy canes were meant for you. 137 00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:08,686 I was trying to kill you. 138 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,254 But why me? 139 00:06:10,288 --> 00:06:12,256 I was a good boy. 140 00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:13,858 Exactly! 141 00:06:13,892 --> 00:06:17,394 You were a very good boy. 142 00:06:17,429 --> 00:06:19,964 Just like all of them. 143 00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:30,031 And now... it's time 144 00:06:30,064 --> 00:06:32,549 for you to finally eat your candy cane dinner, 145 00:06:32,581 --> 00:06:34,389 Axe Cop. 146 00:06:34,424 --> 00:06:35,724 Never! 147 00:06:43,265 --> 00:06:45,241 Rainbow cherry? 148 00:06:53,007 --> 00:06:54,941 Ho ho ho! 149 00:06:56,261 --> 00:06:58,880 Good Santa? Is that you? 150 00:06:58,911 --> 00:07:01,012 Listen to me, Axe Cop. 151 00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:04,015 You must stop my evil twin brother. 152 00:07:05,739 --> 00:07:07,036 But how? 153 00:07:07,130 --> 00:07:10,132 Rainbow cherry candy canes are my greatest weakness. 154 00:07:10,158 --> 00:07:12,413 With the power of Christmas. 155 00:07:12,453 --> 00:07:15,304 Ho ho ho! 156 00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:22,223 Where do you think you're going, Bad Santa? 157 00:07:22,268 --> 00:07:24,979 - To heaven! - Heaven? Why? 158 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:28,784 To kill god and become jesus. 159 00:07:28,809 --> 00:07:30,009 Obviously. 160 00:07:35,149 --> 00:07:37,550 Not during my birthday month. 161 00:07:38,952 --> 00:07:42,121 I have the power of Christmas! 162 00:08:16,323 --> 00:08:17,690 Aah! 163 00:08:26,266 --> 00:08:29,368 Say hello to my parents... 164 00:08:29,403 --> 00:08:32,505 In hell! 165 00:08:32,872 --> 00:08:36,309 By the power of Christmas, 166 00:08:36,604 --> 00:08:39,581 I... am... 167 00:08:39,605 --> 00:08:43,342 setting the children free! 168 00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,059 - Yay! - Hup! 169 00:08:49,089 --> 00:08:50,323 Not a chance. 170 00:08:53,435 --> 00:08:55,036 Throw this head in the head trash. 171 00:08:55,070 --> 00:08:57,763 Not a bad way to kick off your birthday month, I'd say. 172 00:08:57,786 --> 00:09:00,408 Huh? I mean, it did start off a bit rocky 173 00:09:00,442 --> 00:09:03,168 with the... mermaid massacre, 174 00:09:03,184 --> 00:09:05,707 but in the end you avenged your parents' death. 175 00:09:05,723 --> 00:09:07,682 I mean, come on. 176 00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,408 This has got to be the happiest day of your life, 177 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,369 - am I right? - No. 178 00:09:12,401 --> 00:09:16,112 The happiest day of my life was the day my parents died. 179 00:09:16,158 --> 00:09:16,838 What? 180 00:09:16,871 --> 00:09:19,506 True, it was the saddest day of my life 181 00:09:19,541 --> 00:09:21,080 because they died, 182 00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:23,533 but it was also the happiest day of my life 183 00:09:23,582 --> 00:09:27,803 because I didn't have to eat candy canes anymore. 184 00:09:27,827 --> 00:09:30,384 Actually, I wasn't happy or sad. 185 00:09:30,419 --> 00:09:32,235 I was medium. 186 00:09:32,626 --> 00:09:36,629 And medium is the happiest that I'll ever be. 187 00:09:42,030 --> 00:09:45,058 ♪ H - A - PP - Y ♪ 188 00:09:45,214 --> 00:09:48,216 ♪ H - A - PP - Y ♪ 189 00:09:48,410 --> 00:09:51,222 ♪ H - A - PP - Y ♪ 190 00:09:51,285 --> 00:09:54,487 ♪ Happy Birthday, Axe Cop. ♪ 191 00:09:55,359 --> 00:09:59,961 sync & corr by blue150683 -- for addic7ed.com -- 13477

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