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1
00:00:00,031 --> 00:00:02,726
I was born in the year 2004
2
00:00:02,757 --> 00:00:05,164
to Bobber and Gobber Smartist.
3
00:00:05,164 --> 00:00:06,937
You're doing great.
Push, honey. Push.
4
00:00:06,961 --> 00:00:08,528
Oh, man. Whoo!
5
00:00:08,561 --> 00:00:10,596
They named me...
6
00:00:10,631 --> 00:00:12,265
...Axey Smartist.
7
00:00:12,299 --> 00:00:14,934
Because I was a babywith a mustache,
8
00:00:14,969 --> 00:00:17,879
they sometimes called me
"Baby Mario."
9
00:00:17,911 --> 00:00:19,411
Here you go, Axey.
10
00:00:19,445 --> 00:00:21,313
This was not one of those times.
11
00:00:21,347 --> 00:00:24,768
My father was a carpenter,
and my mother was a schoolteacher.
12
00:00:24,815 --> 00:00:27,080
She never had timeto cook a full dinner,
13
00:00:27,151 --> 00:00:30,122
so she served us candy canes
for every meal.
14
00:00:30,156 --> 00:00:31,423
Another great meal, dear.
15
00:00:31,457 --> 00:00:32,958
I hated candy canes.
16
00:00:32,992 --> 00:00:34,426
Mm.
What is this?
17
00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:36,728
Rainbow cherry?
I love it!
18
00:00:36,763 --> 00:00:39,765
I hated rainbow cherry the most.
19
00:00:39,799 --> 00:00:42,306
Then something bad happened...
20
00:00:42,627 --> 00:00:44,436
My parents died.
21
00:00:44,470 --> 00:00:47,806
Someone had poisonedtheir candy cane dinner.
22
00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:52,144
I swore then that I wouldfind and kill the man...
23
00:00:52,178 --> 00:00:54,279
that did this to my parents.
24
00:00:54,314 --> 00:00:57,249
I also swore to never eatanother candy cane
25
00:00:57,282 --> 00:00:59,283
as long as I live...
26
00:00:59,311 --> 00:01:04,181
because I hate candy canes.
27
00:01:04,223 --> 00:01:07,092
One day,
at the scene of the fire.
28
00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:09,728
The cop foundthe perfect axe.
29
00:01:09,762 --> 00:01:11,997
That was the dayhe became...
30
00:01:12,031 --> 00:01:13,632
Axe Cop!
31
00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,739
So he had tryoutsand hired a partner.
32
00:01:21,307 --> 00:01:23,510
I will chop
your heads off!
33
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Axe Cop
01x05 - Birthday Month
Original Air Date: August 17, 2013
34
00:01:28,181 --> 00:01:29,852
Oh.
Hey... Axe Cop.
35
00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,204
Hanging out in the dark?
36
00:01:31,235 --> 00:01:33,285
That's... weird but cool.
37
00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:35,754
Aren't you gonna wish me a happy birthday?
38
00:01:35,788 --> 00:01:38,156
No, I-- no, I was
waiting for the 6th,
39
00:01:38,191 --> 00:01:40,128
which is your birthday, right?
40
00:01:40,175 --> 00:01:43,089
This year, we're celebrating
my birthday all month.
41
00:01:43,116 --> 00:01:45,038
Aah! But I don't have
your present yet.
42
00:01:45,069 --> 00:01:46,135
Don't worry.
43
00:01:46,146 --> 00:01:47,490
I knew what you
were gonna get me,
44
00:01:47,514 --> 00:01:49,739
so I went ahead and
bought it for myself.
45
00:01:49,773 --> 00:01:51,541
You owe me
a hundred dollars.
46
00:01:51,575 --> 00:01:53,743
Oh, okay.
Can I pay you later?
47
00:01:53,777 --> 00:01:54,811
No.
48
00:01:55,980 --> 00:01:57,547
So what did I get you anyway?
49
00:01:57,581 --> 00:01:58,681
A butler.
50
00:01:58,716 --> 00:01:59,895
His name is Al.
51
00:01:59,934 --> 00:02:01,284
Al punch you in the face.
52
00:02:01,318 --> 00:02:02,225
You called, sir?
53
00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:03,890
Get the monster truck ready, Al.
54
00:02:03,925 --> 00:02:05,158
We have an important mission.
55
00:02:05,192 --> 00:02:06,293
Of course, sir.
56
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,475
So, Axe Cop,
what's the important mission?
57
00:02:08,498 --> 00:02:10,496
There is no important mission.
58
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,592
We're going to the beach.
59
00:02:14,490 --> 00:02:18,273
Look at us, huh?
On the beach, in the sun.
60
00:02:18,329 --> 00:02:19,863
This is a pretty good
kickoff day
61
00:02:19,882 --> 00:02:21,492
to your birthday month,
huh, Axe Cop?
62
00:02:21,531 --> 00:02:23,187
Since I already know
about the butler,
63
00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:25,388
you have to get me
a super secret gift.
64
00:02:25,422 --> 00:02:26,522
Okay.
65
00:02:26,556 --> 00:02:28,519
I think I know
exactly what to get you.
66
00:02:28,558 --> 00:02:29,897
So do I...
67
00:02:29,935 --> 00:02:32,866
A magic axe that can turn
into any weapon I want.
68
00:02:32,898 --> 00:02:34,332
Oh, not what I was thinking.
69
00:02:34,366 --> 00:02:35,600
You want some juice?
70
00:02:35,634 --> 00:02:38,069
We got grape juice,
we have apple juice,
71
00:02:38,103 --> 00:02:40,071
and we have
apple-grape juice.
72
00:02:40,105 --> 00:02:41,962
I'm gonna have
an apple-grape juice.
73
00:02:42,975 --> 00:02:44,976
Look at how they put
all this juice in boxes.
74
00:02:45,010 --> 00:02:46,510
You know?
75
00:02:46,545 --> 00:02:49,113
- What are they gonna think of next?
- Wait, what's that?
76
00:02:49,147 --> 00:02:51,916
Ooh. It looks like
a miracle of mermaids.
77
00:02:51,950 --> 00:02:53,784
Evil mermaids.
78
00:03:03,528 --> 00:03:04,829
Aah!
79
00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:11,969
Hey, Flute Cop!
80
00:03:12,004 --> 00:03:14,238
The ocean is safe again.
81
00:03:14,272 --> 00:03:17,208
Hey, man!
Why'd you do that?
82
00:03:17,242 --> 00:03:19,076
Why'd you kill
all my friends?
83
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,312
Because they were
obviously evil.
84
00:03:21,346 --> 00:03:23,648
There's no such thing
as an evil mermaid.
85
00:03:23,682 --> 00:03:26,083
But they were making
mean faces.
86
00:03:26,109 --> 00:03:28,689
No no no.
This is a mean face.
87
00:03:28,729 --> 00:03:30,955
Uh, now you're smiling.
88
00:03:30,989 --> 00:03:33,784
- No. Now I'm smiling.
- What?
89
00:03:33,823 --> 00:03:37,395
Here in the ocean,
it's the bad guys that smile.
90
00:03:37,429 --> 00:03:39,196
Which means...
91
00:03:39,231 --> 00:03:40,865
I...
92
00:03:40,899 --> 00:03:43,567
Killed...
good guys?
93
00:03:51,945 --> 00:03:53,942
Surprise!
94
00:03:57,716 --> 00:04:00,029
Yo, dude.
What's going on with Axe Cop?
95
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,514
I don't want to get into it.
96
00:04:01,592 --> 00:04:04,727
Suffice to say, a lot of good
mermaids' heads were cut off.
97
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,211
♪ H - A - PP - Y ♪
98
00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:10,531
♪ H - A - PP - Y ♪
♪ H - A - PP - Y ♪
99
00:04:10,555 --> 00:04:12,703
♪ Happy Birthday, Axe Cop! ♪
100
00:04:13,725 --> 00:04:16,274
This cake is all wrong.
101
00:04:16,321 --> 00:04:19,235
But it's birthday flavored.
Your favorite.
102
00:04:19,282 --> 00:04:21,483
And look, there's a candle
of you holding an axe,
103
00:04:21,518 --> 00:04:22,551
just you like you do.
104
00:04:22,585 --> 00:04:24,305
You hold an axe, right?
105
00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:28,524
The candle is supposed to be
of me holding up two axes!
106
00:04:28,558 --> 00:04:31,226
This is the worst
birthday ever!
107
00:04:33,596 --> 00:04:35,616
Axe Cop?
108
00:04:35,679 --> 00:04:36,880
Hey, come on out, bro.
109
00:04:36,915 --> 00:04:38,082
No.
110
00:04:38,115 --> 00:04:40,563
We have an extra
super secret birthday gift.
111
00:04:40,618 --> 00:04:42,119
You're gonna love it.
112
00:04:42,154 --> 00:04:43,921
It's awesome!
113
00:04:45,624 --> 00:04:47,324
How awesome could it be?
114
00:04:47,359 --> 00:04:49,493
It's not evenin a big box.
115
00:04:49,527 --> 00:04:51,152
Just open it,
will you?
116
00:04:51,188 --> 00:04:52,822
Fine.
117
00:04:53,711 --> 00:04:55,478
"Dear Axe Cop,
we all chipped in
118
00:04:55,505 --> 00:04:58,231
and found out
who killed your parents.
119
00:04:58,267 --> 00:05:01,191
It was Bad Santa."
120
00:05:03,354 --> 00:05:05,408
Now that's
a birthday present.
121
00:05:05,432 --> 00:05:08,828
Oh, I knew he'd like it.
I told you guys!
122
00:05:08,854 --> 00:05:10,093
Bad Santa,
123
00:05:10,127 --> 00:05:11,561
I hope you like dying
124
00:05:11,595 --> 00:05:14,431
as much as I'm going
to enjoy killing you.
125
00:05:14,465 --> 00:05:16,766
Yeah, I'm pretty proud
of that birthday gift.
126
00:05:18,169 --> 00:05:20,324
South Pole Planet.
127
00:05:20,371 --> 00:05:22,038
This is the place.
128
00:05:35,328 --> 00:05:37,476
Ho ho ho.
129
00:05:37,508 --> 00:05:39,176
Hello, Bad Santa.
130
00:05:39,210 --> 00:05:41,491
Axe Cop.
131
00:05:41,522 --> 00:05:47,527
Welcome to my magic workshop
of torture and evil.
132
00:05:48,201 --> 00:05:49,443
I've been expecting you
133
00:05:49,459 --> 00:05:53,025
to walk through those
gingerbread doors ever since
134
00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:57,030
I accidentally killed your parents.
135
00:06:00,124 --> 00:06:03,163
What? What do you
mean "accidentally"?
136
00:06:03,249 --> 00:06:05,664
Those candy canes
were meant for you.
137
00:06:05,750 --> 00:06:08,686
I was trying to kill you.
138
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,254
But why me?
139
00:06:10,288 --> 00:06:12,256
I was a good boy.
140
00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:13,858
Exactly!
141
00:06:13,892 --> 00:06:17,394
You were a very good boy.
142
00:06:17,429 --> 00:06:19,964
Just like all of them.
143
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:30,031
And now...
it's time
144
00:06:30,064 --> 00:06:32,549
for you to finally eat
your candy cane dinner,
145
00:06:32,581 --> 00:06:34,389
Axe Cop.
146
00:06:34,424 --> 00:06:35,724
Never!
147
00:06:43,265 --> 00:06:45,241
Rainbow cherry?
148
00:06:53,007 --> 00:06:54,941
Ho ho ho!
149
00:06:56,261 --> 00:06:58,880
Good Santa?
Is that you?
150
00:06:58,911 --> 00:07:01,012
Listen to me, Axe Cop.
151
00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:04,015
You must stop
my evil twin brother.
152
00:07:05,739 --> 00:07:07,036
But how?
153
00:07:07,130 --> 00:07:10,132
Rainbow cherry candy canes
are my greatest weakness.
154
00:07:10,158 --> 00:07:12,413
With the power of Christmas.
155
00:07:12,453 --> 00:07:15,304
Ho ho ho!
156
00:07:19,221 --> 00:07:22,223
Where do you think
you're going, Bad Santa?
157
00:07:22,268 --> 00:07:24,979
- To heaven!
- Heaven? Why?
158
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:28,784
To kill god
and become jesus.
159
00:07:28,809 --> 00:07:30,009
Obviously.
160
00:07:35,149 --> 00:07:37,550
Not during
my birthday month.
161
00:07:38,952 --> 00:07:42,121
I have the power
of Christmas!
162
00:08:16,323 --> 00:08:17,690
Aah!
163
00:08:26,266 --> 00:08:29,368
Say hello
to my parents...
164
00:08:29,403 --> 00:08:32,505
In hell!
165
00:08:32,872 --> 00:08:36,309
By the power of Christmas,
166
00:08:36,604 --> 00:08:39,581
I... am...
167
00:08:39,605 --> 00:08:43,342
setting the children free!
168
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,059
- Yay!
- Hup!
169
00:08:49,089 --> 00:08:50,323
Not a chance.
170
00:08:53,435 --> 00:08:55,036
Throw this headin the head trash.
171
00:08:55,070 --> 00:08:57,763
Not a bad way to kick off
your birthday month, I'd say.
172
00:08:57,786 --> 00:09:00,408
Huh? I mean, it did
start off a bit rocky
173
00:09:00,442 --> 00:09:03,168
with the...
mermaid massacre,
174
00:09:03,184 --> 00:09:05,707
but in the end you avenged
your parents' death.
175
00:09:05,723 --> 00:09:07,682
I mean, come on.
176
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,408
This has got to be
the happiest day of your life,
177
00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:12,369
- am I right?
- No.
178
00:09:12,401 --> 00:09:16,112
The happiest day of my life
was the day my parents died.
179
00:09:16,158 --> 00:09:16,838
What?
180
00:09:16,871 --> 00:09:19,506
True, it was the
saddest day of my life
181
00:09:19,541 --> 00:09:21,080
because they died,
182
00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:23,533
but it was also
the happiest day of my life
183
00:09:23,582 --> 00:09:27,803
because I didn't have
to eat candy canes anymore.
184
00:09:27,827 --> 00:09:30,384
Actually,
I wasn't happy or sad.
185
00:09:30,419 --> 00:09:32,235
I was medium.
186
00:09:32,626 --> 00:09:36,629
And medium is the happiest
that I'll ever be.
187
00:09:42,030 --> 00:09:45,058
♪ H - A - PP - Y ♪
188
00:09:45,214 --> 00:09:48,216
♪ H - A - PP - Y ♪
189
00:09:48,410 --> 00:09:51,222
♪ H - A - PP - Y ♪
190
00:09:51,285 --> 00:09:54,487
♪ Happy Birthday, Axe Cop. ♪
191
00:09:55,359 --> 00:09:59,961
sync & corr by blue150683
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13477
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