All language subtitles for Seinfeld.S04E07.The.Bubble.Boy.720p.HULU.WEBRip.AAC2.0.H.264-NTb

Have you ever called someone up,

and you're disappointed
when they answered the phone?

You wanted the machine,

you know, and you're always
kind of thrown off.

You go, "Oh, I, uh... I--
I didn't know you were there.

"I, uh, just wanted
to leave a message

saying sorry I missed you."

So here what we have
is two people, hate each other,

don't really ever want to talk,

but the phone machine

is like
this relationship respirator

keeping these marginal,
brain-dead relationships alive,

and we all do it. Why?
So that when we come home,

you can see
that little flashing red light.

you can see
that little flashing red light.

You go, "All right. Messages."

You see, people need that.

It's very important
for human beings

to feel they are popular
and well-liked

amongst a large group of people
that we don't care for.

[♪]

Well, this is it.

Oh, this is nice.

Thanks again
for the Chinese food.

Oh, you're welcome.

You know, I think I ate
too much of that garlic.

Yeah, me too.

No, I ate the whole plate.

I didn't know those
little things were garlic.

I thought they were peanuts.

[LAUGHS IN IRRITATING
NASAL STACCATO]

Oh, you know what?
I think Naked Gun is on.

Oh, I've seen it. I laughed
through that whole thing.

Oh, I've seen it. I laughed
through that whole thing.

You want to watch?

No!

I mean, I don't think so.

I thought you liked to laugh.

I thought you were
happy-go-lucky.

No, no, no.

I'm not happy,
I'm not lucky,

and I don't go.

If anything,
I'm sad-stop-unlucky.

[BRAYING LAUGHTER]

That's not funny, Naomi.

I didn't mean
to be funny there.

Why don't you check
the TV Guide?

I think, uh, Holocaust is on.

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

GEORGE:
Jerry, it's George.

Hey, you all set
for the weekend?

This is gonna be great.

This is gonna be great.

You're gonna have a great time
with Naomi.

All right, you know,
she's got that laugh.

What did you say?

"It's like Elmer Fudd
sitting on a juicer"?

Anyway, I was thinking
that we'd take two cars

up to the cabin,
and that way, you know,

if one of us wanted to stay--

This thing has never
worked right.

You think I laugh
like Elmer Fudd

sitting on a juicer?

Well, first of all,

Elmer Fudd
is one of the most beloved,

internationally-known
cartoon characters of all time.

internationally-known
cartoon characters of all time.

"I'm going to kill that
cwazy wabbit. Ha-a-a-a-a-a."

Come on!

Not only that,

a juicer is one
of the healthiest ways--

It makes the juice,
it extracts the pulp, and--

And then the vitamins.

For long life, and--
And vitality.

How could you leave
a message like that?

Well, how could you
just play your message?

Because I didn't think
anyone would leave it!

I didn't think
anyone would play it.

Now she's not going away
for this weekend.

What do you mean,
not going?

Come on, we got plans
here. Call her up.

Come on, we got plans
here. Call her up.

Ah, it's better anyway.

I mean, really.
What was gonna happen?

I'm a comedian.

How can I go out with a girl
with a laugh like that?

I mean, it's like, uh,

it's like Coco Chanel
going out with a fishmonger.

You know, 'cause she's
with all the perfumes,

and a fishmonger
has a pretty bad smell.

Well, maybe you
should ask Elaine.

Yeah, but
if I ask Elaine,

then Kramer
will feel slighted.

Oh, no, no. Don't say
anything to Kramer.

Susan can't stand him.

He vomited all over her.

He vomited all over her.

Wait a minute,
do you smell smoke?

Ah, Kramer.

[IRISH ACCENT]
Hello, boys.
Top of the morning to you.

What do you say?
What do you be?

Put that thing out
before you start another fire.

You had to give him
a box of cigars.

KRAMER [NORMAL VOICE]:
So...

what are you guys
doing this weekend?

Uh...
Uh...

Because I'm gonna be
playing golf

at the Westchester Country Club.

Westchester?
Isn't that a private club?

Oh, that's right, buddy.

It's private. It's very private,

It's private. It's very private,

but I met the pro at the golf
shop up on 49th Street.

I gave him one of these Cubans,

and he invites me up
to play a free round.

Then he says any time I lay
one of these babies on him,

it's gonna be the same deal.

Isn't that beautiful?

Yeah.

Man, I'm going to be hitting
the links all weekend.

Whoom!

Gee, that's--
That's too bad.

Yeah. Too bad.

Why? What? What?

'Cause we were just saying
we were going to ask you

to come up to the country
with us this weekend.

Susan's father
has a cabin up there,

but, uh, all right.

but, uh, all right.

Well, what, they got any
golf courses up there?

No, no, no...
No, no...

No, that's pie country.
Yeah.

Yeah, they do a lot
of baking up there.

They sell them by
the side of the road.

Blueberry, blackberry.

Blackberry,
boysenberry.

Boysenberry, huckleberry.
Huckleberry, raspberry.

Raspberry, strawberry.
Strawberry, cranberry.

Peach.

I don't know.

Come on, I don't wanna tag along
with George and Susan.

If you're there,
it'll be a better group.

What's that?

Oh, it's an autographed
picture for my dry cleaner.

Oh, it's an autographed
picture for my dry cleaner.

I never know what to write
on these things.

I hate doing this.

"I'm very impressed"?

Oh, you mean "pressed"
because it's like a dry cleaner?

Yeah, see?
That's why I hate it.

So come on, you wanna go?

Well, what about
the sleeping arrangements...

in the cabin?

Well, um...

same bed, and, uh,
underwear and a t-shirt.

What about me?

Well, you'd be naked,
of course.

Well, you'd be naked,
of course.

All right.

Excuse me.
Jerry Seinfeld?

Yeah.

My name's Sanger,
Mel Sanger.

Hi.

I drive that truck
out there.

Oh, the Yoo-hoo?

Yeah.

I love Yoo-hoo.

Yes, it's a fine product.

Anyway, I saw you
on The Tonight Show

a couple of weeks ago.

I was watching the show
with my son, Donald.

He's got this rare
immune deficiency in his blood.

It's the damnedest thing.

Doctors say he has to live
in a plastic bubble.

Can you imagine that? A bubble.

Can you imagine that? A bubble.

A bubble?

A bubble?

Yes, a bubble.

Do you mind? May I?

Oh, sure.

Ah, it'd break your heart
seeing him in there.

He's like a prisoner.

No friends.
Just his mother and me.

And I'm out there
six days a week hauling Yoo-hoo.

We have sacrificed everything,

all for the sake
of our little...

bubble boy.

Excuse me.

Oh, no. Here.

Oh, no. Here.

MEL: Excuse me.

Anyway,
we were watching you on TV--

You get in the bubble with him?

No, he can see
through the bubble.

It's plastic.

Oh... I thought
it was like an igloo.

No, it's clear.

Ah-ha.

Who has the remote?

He does.

The remote goes
through the bubble?

Yeah, he's in the bubble
with the remote.

Yeah, he's in the bubble
with the remote.

So you have no control
over the remote?

No. It's frustrating.

Mmm...

Yeah. Of course.
Yeah.

So anyway,
you're his favorite comedian.

He laughed so hard
the other night,

we had to give him
an extra shot of hemoglobin.

Oh...

That's nice.

Tomorrow is his birthday,

and it would mean
so much to him

if you could
find it in your heart

to pay him a visit
and just say hello.

Oh, well, tomorrow, I--

Jerry...

Of course
he'd pay him a visit.

Of course
he'd pay him a visit.

You'd be happy to.

Yeah. Okay, um...

Tomorrow. Uh, where do you live?

Uptown? Up Westside?

No. Upstate.

Upstate...

He's a bubble boy!

A bubble boy?

Yes, a bubble boy.

What's
a bubble boy?

He lives in a bubble.

Boy...

So, what kind of a bubble?
Like an igloo?

So, what kind of a bubble?
Like an igloo?

No, that's what I thought,
but, apparently,

it's just a big piece of plastic
dividing the room.

GEORGE:
What kind of plastic
do you think it is?

What do you think,

like that
dry-cleaning plastic?

That's no good.

He wouldn't last
10 minutes in there.

Anyway, what can I do?

I promised
I'd go visit him tomorrow.

It's his birthday.

I can't go
to the cabin.

Well, where
does he live?

I don't know. Upstate.
Fall-something.

Wait a minute.

This is right on the way
to the cabin.

Oh, all right, beautiful.
So you stop in,

you visit the bubble boy
for 20 minutes,

and then we can go.

and then we can go.

You think we can do it?

Oh, I know exactly
where this is.

You can just
follow us.

Oh, great.
Okay, we're going away.

I think I'm excited.

I'm excited.

Oh, you're gonna
love this cabin.

My grandfather built it
in 1947.

It's-- It's incredible.

All right, there you go.
It's a '47 cabin. All right.

So we'll see you tomorrow.

Okay.

Well...

Very nice.
Very nice.

Well, I'm off to the links.

I want to thank you
for the invite upstate.

I'm sorry I can't make it.

I'm sorry I can't make it.

The what--?
Nothing. Let's get
going. Come on.

Did you...?

We'll talk about it
later.

Is that one of the cigars
my father gave you?

Hey, what's with
George and Susan?

Does he actually
like her?

I don't know
if he likes her

as much as
he likes...it.

Oh, that's nice.

JERRY: What's he doing?
What is his hurry?

ELAINE:
Well, you know George.

It's not good enough
to get there,

you gotta make
"good time."

I know. He once went
from West 81st Street

to Kennedy Airport
in 25 minutes.

to Kennedy Airport
in 25 minutes.

I never heard
the end of it.

[ELAINE CHUCKLES]

JERRY: Look at him!

Would you stop
that, please?

Would you just
stop that?
What?

Knock it off. Just sit
in your seat over there.

You're distracting me.

We're making
incredible time here.

I once made it
to Kennedy Airport

from West 81st Street
in, uh-- In 15 minutes.

Oh, here. Hold this.
It's $10 for the tolls.

JERRY: What's he doing?
Is he out of his mind?

Do you see him?

I don't even think
I see him anymore.

ELAINE: Isn't that
blue car him?

JERRY:
No, no, that's not him!

What happened to him?

What happened to him?

I can't believe it.
I lost him.

That stupid idiot!

Now what are we
gonna do?

It's no big deal, Jerry.

We'll just meet him
at the bubble boy's house.

I don't even know where
the bubble boy lives!

I don't even remember
the name of the town!

What, you don't have
the directions?

No, I was following him!

How could you not take
the directions?

Because he's
my directions!

SUSAN:
I don't see them, George.

You make all
these plans,

then he goes
100 miles an hour,

the whole weekend's over.
Incredible. Just like that.

the whole weekend's over.
Incredible. Just like that.

Poor little bubble boy.

He's sitting there
waiting for you in his bubble

or igloo thing. Whatever.

I don't know what to do!
I don't know where I am!

Just get off at this exit.
We'll figure something out.

We lost them.
Do you know that?

We lost them.

Well, it's not my fault.

Seinfeld can't drive.

How hard is it
to follow somebody?

Well, now
what are you gonna do?

It's fine.

We'll just meet him at
the bubble boy's house.

SUSAN: Does he have the address?

[HUMMING]

Yeah...

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

JERRY: Leave a message,
I'll call you back. Thanks.

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]

NAOMI:
Hi, Jerry. It's Naomi.

Listen, if it's not too late,
I changed my mind.

I'd like to go to the cabin.

Wait, wait.

Yeah. Hello.

Hi.

Uh, this is Kramer.

Yeah, I'm the
next-door neighbor.

Yeah, I'm the
next-door neighbor.

Uh, well, you know,
Jerry's left,

but listen, see,
my golf game got canceled.

I'm thinking of going up myself.

They got pies, and I got
the directions right here.

So then I drive all the way
up to the country club,

and then I find out they got
a tournament going on.

Do you mind if I smoke?

No.

These are Cubans.

Maria...

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

[BRAYING LAUGHTER]

I don't know
if this is the house.

I don't see Jerry's
car anywhere.

I don't see Jerry's
car anywhere.

Would you stop it?

Would you quit it?

Someone is gonna
see us here.

So what?

You are such a prude.

Hey, I am not a prude,
sweetheart.

I swing with
the best of them.

Okay. Come on, let's go in.

What?

Well, we should at least
tell them what happened.

They might be very late,
if they make it at all.

I can't go in there.

I can't face
the bubble boy.

What's the matter?

I-- I just don't react well
to these situations.

I-- I just don't react well
to these situations.

My grandmother died
two months early

because of the way I reacted
in the hospital.

She was getting better,

and then I went
to pay her a visit,

she saw my face, boom,
that was the end of her.

Okay. We're going in.

Susan, wait. Please.

Come on.

George, stop.
Would you wait--

I can't believe
how a little thing

like George
going too fast,

and my whole
weekend is gone.

The plans, the packing,
everything.

Your whole weekend?

What about
the bubble boy?

Why do you keep bringing
up the bubble boy?

You don't have to
mention the bubble boy.

You don't have to
mention the bubble boy.

I know about
the bubble boy.

I'm aware of
the bubble boy.

Why do you keep reminding
me about the bubble boy?

[GUM BUBBLE POPS]

I'll have a cup of coffee
and a turkey club.

How about you?

Um, I'll just have
a glass of water.

You can't just
have water.

Why not?
That's all I want.

Well, this is not
like a park bench

where you just
come in and sit down.

It's a business.

Hold it a second.

Hold it a second.

Don't you play on TV?

Oh, no.

Yes. Yes.
You saw him on TV.

What's your name?

Jerry Seinfeld.

Elaine...

Gary Seinfield!

I saw you on The Tonight Show.

ELAINE: Right.

Hey, wouldn't you like
an autographed picture?

Uh, I don't have any
more pictures, Elaine.

He's lying.
They're in the trunk.

Now you get to sign another one.

I'm not lying.

Yeah. Yeah, he is.

She'll have a cup of coffee
and a broiled chicken.

She'll have a cup of coffee
and a broiled chicken.

See, it's not really
a bubble.

A lot of people think
it's an igloo,

but it's really
just a plastic divider.

Can you, uh,
go in the bubble?

Well, you have to put so many
things on because of the germs.

The gloves, the mask,
it's a whole production.

The gloves, the mask,
it's a whole production.

So then he makes
his own bed?

Well, that's one of the things
we fight about.

Would you like to meet him?

Uh, well, you know--

Oh, he loves games.

Maybe you could play
Trivial Pursuit with him.

DONALD:
Hey, Ma!

What the hell
do I gotta do

to get some food
around here?

I'm starving!

And if it's
peanut butter,

I'm gonna shove it
in your face!

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

One picture
left in the trunk.

Thanks. This is fun.

Yeah, this turned out
to be a great weekend.

Where's my water?

Oh, it's coming.

Here you go.

Thanks.

What did you write?

"Nothing's finer
than being in your diner."

[LAUGHING]

There is "nothing finer
than being in your diner"?

No good?

This is what
you came up with?

This is what
you came up with?

Well?

That is so lame, Jerry.

People are gonna be reading that
for the next 20 years

and laughing at you.

Yeah, yeah.
You're right.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Would you mind? I'd like
to take the picture back.

Why?

I'm not happy
with what I wrote.

It's good. I like it.

No, believe me,
it's not good.

I'll mail you a new one

with something really
funny written on it.

Well, when you mail me
a new one,

I'll send you back this one.

Look, you don't
understand.

I want the picture.

Ha! Right.

Ha! Right.

This is Donald.

Hi.

Hello.

DONALD: Who are you?

Where's Seinfeld?

He's on his way.

These are his friends.

What are you
looking at?

Never seen a kid
in a bubble before?

[SCOFFS]

Of course I have.
Come on.

My cousin's in a bubble.

My cousin's in a bubble.

My friend Jeffrey's sister,
also...bubble, you know...

I got a lot
of bubble experience. Come on.

DONALD:
What's your story?

I-- I have no story.

She works for NBC.

How about taking
your top off?

Donald,
behave yourself.

DONALD:
Come on!

I know, I know.

Why don't you play a game
of Trivial Pursuit?

Uh, well, you know,

we gotta be running
because--

we gotta be running
because--

DONALD:
Oh, what,
are you afraid?

No. You see,
it's just that--

Oh, I'm gonna
kick your ass!

Look, I was nice enough
to give you the picture.

I don't like what I wrote.
I don't want it up there.

Now, please just
give it back to me.

You are really starting
to get under my skin.

I want that picture.

Well, you can't have it.

In fact, maybe you'd better
just pay your check and get out.

I'm not paying for anything
until I get that back.

Well, you ain't getting it back.

Well, maybe
I'll just take it back.

This chicken
is really good.

DONALD:
Okay, history.

This is for the game.

How you doing
over there?

Not too good.

All right, bubble boy.

Let's just play.

"Who invaded Spain
in the eighth century?"

That's a joke.
The Moors.

Oh, no...

Oh, no...

I'm so sorry,
it's the "Moops."

The correct answer
is the Moops.

Moops?

Let me see that.

That's not Moops,
you jerk.

It's Moors.
That's a misprint.

I'm sorry,
the card says Moops.

It doesn't matter.
It's Moors!

There's no Moops!

It's Moops.

Moors!

Moops.

Moors!

Moors!

Hey! Anybody home?

[RATTLES KNOB]

Oh, boy.

What should we do?

Uh...hold these pies.

Okay...

Help. Someone...

Help. Someone...

There's no Moops,
you idiot!

SUSAN: Stop it!
Let go of him!

Donald, stop it!

Now, let go of him,
Donald. Donald...

I'm gonna kill him!
He's choking me.

Donald. Stop.

Moors!
Say Moors!

Moops! Moops!

No. Donald, stop it.

[AIR HISSING]

What are you doing?
You're choking me.

Elaine!

Are you gonna
pay for that?

Are you gonna
pay for that?

No, I want
that picture back!

Something's happened
to the bubble boy!

They're rushing him
to the hospital.

What?

The bubble boy?
He lives around here?

That's his house
right down the road.

He got in a fight
with some guy.

What kind of a person
would hurt the bubble boy?

Some little bald guy
from the city.

Come on, Frank.

Page, Preston, don't you think
we ought to do something?

Naomi, come on,
let's get going.

But that lake
must be freezing.

Nah, it's good for you.

Nah, it's good for you.

Retards the aging process.

Ready to go swimming?

Yeah, let's go.

Okay...

[SQUEALS AND LAUGHS]

Jerry!

What happened to you?

What happened
to you?

You were going, like,
100 miles an hour.

I was not. The bubble boy
tried to kill me.

ELAINE: What?

Susan,
tell them.

It's a
long story.

It's a
long story.

DONALD: Hey, Seinfeld.

Hey, happy birthday.

Thanks for showing up.

You know, your friend
tried to kill me.

Oh, he's a lying little snot,
and he's a cheater.

Aren't you, you little twerp?

Moors!
Moops!

Moors!
Moops!

Moors!
Moops!

There's the guy who tried
to kill the bubble boy.

Get him!

[SIRENS WAILING,
HORNS BLARING]

Fire engines.

Fire engines.

Boy, must be a big one.

[SIRENS WAILING]

ELAINE: Do you
smell something?

SUSAN: Yeah.

JERRY: Smoke.

GEORGE: Yeah.
Definite smoke.

[ELAINE GASPS]

Look, it's a fire!

JERRY: Holy cow, look at that!

That's my father's cabin!

The cabin is on fire.

Um...I just realized,

you never gave me back
the change from the tolls.

you never gave me back
the change from the tolls.

A tinderbox.

How could this
have happened?

KRAMER:
♪ He's a big wild
Funky mountain man ♪

Oh, my God,
the cabin.

What are you two
doing here?

Look at that...

Hey, you didn't...?

My Cubans!

Something very scary
and exciting about fire.

People always run to see a fire.

They're very proud
if they have a fireplace.

I think that's what smoking
is really all about.

I think that's what smoking
is really all about.

That's the power of smoking.
It's just this thing,

"I got fire
right here in my hand.

Smoke and fire is literally
coming right out of my mouth."

It's very intimidating
to the nonsmoker,

because it's like talking
to someone that's going,

"My head could open up,
lava could explode out,

pour right down my face,
doesn't bother me a bit."

And a cigar is even worse.

I mean, a cigar is like,

"You think this end is bad,

"look at this wet, disgusting,
chewed-up nub, huh?

How scary is that?"

[♪]