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1
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,401
Hello, folks at home.
2
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:11,404
Here I am,
100 yards from the top of Mount Everest.
3
00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:15,074
Yet there's a part of me
that can't wait to end this silly vacation
4
00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:18,578
and get back to work
where the real challenges await.
5
00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:22,165
Shouldn't you take your age
into consideration, sir?
6
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,333
After all, you're 82 years old.
7
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:26,043
Am I 82?
8
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:29,422
These numbers mean nothing to me.
My journey through life has just begun.
9
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:31,674
Sir! Sir!
10
00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:35,052
- Oota tells me the storm's getting worse.
- Very, very bad.
11
00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:38,097
We must abandon our ascent and
proceed down the mountain immediately.
12
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:41,184
We're so very close to the top,
Mr. Puffy-Jacket-Man.
13
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:45,563
I'm heading down now, sir.
I advise you to do the same.
14
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:46,939
All right, so be it.
15
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:50,860
See you at the staff meeting on Monday.
And I'll bring the Krispy Kremes!
16
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,715
There, once again,
the sad footage we've been watching all day.
17
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:17,887
A beloved visionary who turned a single
radio station into a global media empire.
18
00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:21,474
Preston Blake, dead at 82. More after this.
19
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:28,064
You're watching
the Blake Broadcasting Network.
20
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,858
The stock of Blake Media,
the parent company of this network,
21
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:33,528
plunged this morning
on the news of Blake's death,
22
00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:37,824
but bounced back after a statement
by Blake's longtime number 2, Chuck Cedar.
23
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:40,117
And all the king's horses
and all the king's men
24
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:43,621
couldn't save Preston Blake
from becoming a human popsicle.
25
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,665
And sources indicate that Blake,
26
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:48,709
who was single and had no children,
did not leave a will.
27
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:55,258
So, who inherits Blake's 49% stake in
the company's stock valued at $40 billion?
28
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,677
We'll discuss that with people close
to Preston Blake,
29
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,679
including his longtime barber
30
00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:03,766
on tomorrow's Inside Access.
Until then, I'm Mac McGrath.
31
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:07,603
- Are we clear?
- Clear!
32
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:10,523
Babe? Where's Babe?
33
00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:13,276
I'm gonna come over there
and I'm gonna choke you to death.
34
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,111
- I gotta go.
- Freaking barber!
35
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,654
That's the best you could get me, huh?
36
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:19,699
People tell everything to their barbers, Mac.
37
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:23,119
I mean, he's been his closest confidant
for more than 20 years.
38
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,288
Babe, I'm not putting this guy on the air.
39
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:27,081
You get me something better
and you get it quick.
40
00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,791
Or it's your ass.
41
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,881
Did we find this heir yet?
42
00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:38,009
We should be getting that information
via fax any minute now.
43
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:43,264
I have lawyers looking through birth records
in all 50 states, Puerto Rico, and Guam.
44
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,099
In fact, we have a little pool going.
45
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,852
Guam's paying off at 1,000 to 1.
46
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,062
Is this a joke to you?
47
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:54,609
Some genetic lottery winner
now controls the fate of this company.
48
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:58,404
- No, no. I agree. It's troubling.
- Troubling?
49
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,239
Your beard is troubling.
50
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:04,911
Your pipe is troubling.
Your yellow teeth are really troubling.
51
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:08,664
But if I lose control of this company,
it'll be catastrophic.
52
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,964
Does anyone know a Dr. Mendlesohn?
53
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:20,343
Congratulations, you have a spastic colon.
54
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,846
That would explain a lot.
55
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,488
"Longfellow Deeds."
56
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,413
Chuck, I think we're there.
57
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,042
My God, it's all green.
58
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:02,677
Wow. Look at that thing.
Fighter pilot on your left.
59
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,805
God, I've got that sucker.
60
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:21,946
You guys lost?
61
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,824
We're looking for somebody.
Longfellow Deeds.
62
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,326
Wow. Is that Deeds' first name?
63
00:05:27,411 --> 00:05:29,996
Well, if the Deeds you're referring to
is Longfellow Deeds,
64
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,081
then yes, that is Deeds' first name.
65
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:35,501
Well, I don't know Deeds' first name.
Maybe it's Greg.
66
00:05:35,794 --> 00:05:36,961
Maybe it's Longfellow.
67
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,171
Maybe. But I don't know.
68
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,674
I know another guy named Greg.
You want me to call him up?
69
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,844
No. Thank you.
Please, just tell us where Deeds lives.
70
00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:47,680
All right,
don't get all hyperactive on me, buddy.
71
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,306
I'll take you straight to him.
72
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,981
Step right in, fellows.
73
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:03,195
- He lives at a pizzeria?
- You can't live in a pizzeria.
74
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,531
He lives upstairs. He owns it.
75
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,867
Excuse me. Is Mr. Deeds around?
76
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,161
No, I'm sorry. He's out making deliveries.
77
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,121
The regular delivery guy called in sick.
78
00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,373
But you don't look too sick to me, Murph.
79
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:17,543
I forgot I was faking sick today.
80
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:20,880
You two tricked me into coming here.
81
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:23,132
Murph, put on an apron and give me a hand.
82
00:06:23,508 --> 00:06:26,635
You guys played me like a fiddle. Touché!
83
00:06:27,763 --> 00:06:30,473
- Is Mrs. Deeds around?
- Mrs. Deeds?
84
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,767
I don't think that poor boy ever had a date.
85
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,226
Do you know when he'll be back?
86
00:06:34,311 --> 00:06:36,812
Well, he'll be back before lunch is out.
Today's Card Day.
87
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,190
- Card Day?
- Deeds writes greeting cards.
88
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:42,568
Every Monday, he tries out a few
and then he chooses one
89
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,820
and sends it
to one of the big card companies.
90
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:48,574
Now, he hasn't sold any yet, but he will.
91
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:51,869
You guys need anything else here?
92
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,829
"To my sweetheart,
93
00:06:54,998 --> 00:07:00,628
"I love you completely, with all my soul.
Without you I'm nothing, a butterless roll."
94
00:07:02,214 --> 00:07:03,506
That's good.
95
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,924
You like that, gentlemen?
96
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:09,220
Hallmark said it showed some potential,
which is pretty cool.
97
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:10,346
Longfellow Deeds?
98
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,349
Just call me Deeds, pal.
Easy with that Longfellow stuff.
99
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,142
Chuck Cedar, CEO.
100
00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:18,229
Cecil Anderson,
General Counsel of Blake Media.
101
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:21,148
Hey, handshakes are for strangers.
We hug around here, buddy.
102
00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,901
What's up? What's up? Welcome to town.
103
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:26,529
Come on, don't be shy.
104
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:30,908
I like that beard. Abe Lincoln-style.
Have a seat, boys.
105
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,159
- Murph!
- Yeah, Deeds?
106
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:35,204
- I thought you were sick today.
- No. That was a lie, pal.
107
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:36,372
Well, you fooled me.
108
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,124
- I did?
- Oh, yeah.
109
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,126
- Mr. Deeds?
- Just Deeds.
110
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,502
You sounded so sick on the phone.
111
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,546
You're good. Do that sick voice again.
112
00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:48,300
Deeds, I can't come to work today.
I think I got strep throat.
113
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:55,057
That's unbelievable.
You could be a radio actor or something.
114
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,268
- Thanks, buddy.
- Sure.
115
00:07:57,352 --> 00:08:00,771
Hey, Deeds. Read a card already.
I got to get back on duty.
116
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:04,358
Okay. I'd better get up there.
Good meeting you, gentlemen.
117
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:07,862
Mr. Deeds, does the name Preston Blake
mean anything to you?
118
00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:09,864
Well, Mom's maiden name was Blake.
119
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,490
I only got one for you guys this week,
120
00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:14,160
but I got a feeling it's gonna
end my losing streak with Hallmark.
121
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:19,081
Deeds, Preston Blake
was your mother's uncle.
122
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:22,001
You're kidding me. I got an uncle?
That's awesome. How's he doing?
123
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:23,752
He's dead.
124
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:26,338
Oh, no. Well, if there's anything I can do...
125
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,591
Deeds! Deeds! Deeds! Deeds!
126
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,426
Okay. I'll be right with you guys.
127
00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,513
When Mr. Blake died,
he left an enormous fortune.
128
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:39,268
$40 billion. He left it all to you, Deeds.
129
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:43,230
Wait a minute.
130
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:47,526
What are you talking about, you got
to get back on duty? You're not a cop.
131
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,529
Yeah, you're right.
I got this down at the costume shop.
132
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,990
But it can't hurt to pretend.
133
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:54,992
What a wisenheimer!
134
00:08:55,493 --> 00:08:57,786
Okay, everybody, it's show time.
135
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,540
I call this "50th Anniversary Card."
136
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,792
Which is quite a feat nowadays.
137
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:08,380
"Fifty years have passed by
with laughter and tears.
138
00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:13,219
"Do you remember when we went to the zoo,
and that time we drank all the beers?"
139
00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,763
Yeah. Beers! Oh, yeah.
140
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:20,142
"I promise to love you for 50 years more,
141
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,355
"even when your bosoms
sag down to the floor."
142
00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:28,359
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That was awesome!
How's he do it?
143
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:35,616
It looks like you won't have
to be delivering pizzas anymore, Deeds.
144
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,368
Now you're a very rich man.
145
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:39,828
What's that got to do with delivering pizzas?
146
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,539
Ladies! The top one's yours.
147
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:44,458
- Thank you, Deeds.
- Of course.
148
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,961
- Yummy! Yummy!
- So, Deeds, what's new?
149
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:50,130
I found out I have an uncle, but he died.
150
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,590
That's too bad.
151
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:53,509
He gave me $40 billion, though.
152
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,262
- Well, that's nice.
- Oh, yeah!
153
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:59,890
Don't you go and spend it all
on some fancy record player.
154
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:00,933
I won't.
155
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,977
Who are your friends, Deeds?
156
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:07,690
I'm sorry.
Chuck, Cecil, this is Jane, Kitty, and Sue.
157
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,692
Pleasure to meet you, Cecil.
158
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:14,738
Pleasure's all mine, Kitty.
Or should I just say, "Meow"?
159
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,201
Keep it in your pants, Anderson.
160
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:24,832
- Now, why am I inheriting this money?
- You're Mr. Blake's closest living relative.
161
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,668
- Really? He had nobody else?
- Nope, that's it.
162
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,212
Gosh, I never even met the guy.
163
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,134
Would you hold this for a second?
164
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,345
Mr. Wetherley, how you doing, pal?
165
00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:41,473
Very well, Deeds.
Just going to the pharmacy.
166
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:44,476
Well, let me get you there a little quicker.
167
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,315
- How's your wife?
- She's fine.
168
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:51,525
- Terrific. Say hi for me.
- I will.
169
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,277
Okay. Here you go.
170
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,406
- Thanks for the lift, Deeds.
- You got it.
171
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:04,204
Deeds, we need you to come back
to New York with us. Just for a few days.
172
00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:06,498
We're drawing up some papers
that you'll need to sign.
173
00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,208
What kind of papers?
174
00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:12,504
You see, technically, you've inherited
300 million shares of Blake Media, Inc.
175
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,798
Chuck and I,
along with some of the partners,
176
00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:18,010
are gonna buy that stock for $40 billion,
177
00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,636
which, of course,
we've had to borrow from various...
178
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,847
Who cares about
all the financial mumbo jumbo?
179
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,975
We just need a little bit of time
to dot the t's and cross the i's.
180
00:11:25,060 --> 00:11:28,228
And while we're doing that,
we need you to stay away from the press.
181
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:31,940
All the media frenzy will die down
in a couple weeks, but until then...
182
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,444
You don't want reporters crawling
all over this lovely little town, do you?
183
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:36,862
Oh, no!
184
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,117
- Crazy Eyes!
- What?
185
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:46,288
- Hey, Deeds.
- How you doing, pal?
186
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:48,791
I got your pizza for you,
just the way you like it.
187
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,125
Oh, yes!
188
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:54,088
French fries and Oreos.
You know me all too well, Deeds.
189
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,631
What are you in for?
190
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,384
I'm doing a one-nighter
for biting Ed the mailman.
191
00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:02,346
The guy was trying to cast a spell on me,
you know, like a wizard or something.
192
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:06,975
- Are you sure about that?
- I don't know. Maybe he was just waving.
193
00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:09,561
Hey, who are your friends?
194
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,814
This is Chuck and Cecil,
they're from New York.
195
00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:14,650
I don't like them.
196
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,236
Okay. Nice seeing you.
197
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:21,824
I've never been to New York before.
I suppose I could check out the sights.
198
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,575
Give me an hour to pack, okay?
199
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:24,743
You got it.
200
00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:26,703
Wow.
I'm gonna be the first guy to leave here
201
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,914
since Jimmy McNally went to Disney World.
202
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:34,420
See you later, everybody!
All right, Miss Kitty. Bye, bye.
203
00:12:36,131 --> 00:12:37,423
Tomorrow is Kids-Eat-For-Free Day,
204
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,383
so don't forget to clean the highchairs,
all right?
205
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:42,052
Don't worry about a thing, Deedsy,
I'll take care of everything.
206
00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:44,304
- You go. You have a good time!
- I'll miss you.
207
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,223
Bye, Jan. Smell you later, Murph.
208
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,850
Hey, Deeds.
209
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,477
- Give us a card!
- Yeah!
210
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:56,191
"On my way to the big city
for a business trip,
211
00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:01,155
"never ever left Mandrake Falls before,
ain't that a pip?
212
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:07,703
"But while I'm gone,
I know I'll miss you all a lot.
213
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:11,999
"So bring your rich butt back here,
and buy us all a shot!"
214
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:14,793
You got it, pal.
215
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,175
Take it easy.
216
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:33,729
The biggest story of the year,
and we've got nothing?
217
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,648
Do you people want
to be tabloid journalists?
218
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,192
Because I don't think so.
219
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,152
You've got to be ruthless.
220
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,570
When I started out,
221
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,822
I slept in Tom and Roseanne's dumpster
for two days
222
00:13:43,907 --> 00:13:46,200
disguised as a giant carton of ice cream.
223
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,326
I got it!
224
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:50,537
My source at Blake says
the company helicopter
225
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:53,749
took off from there this afternoon
with two male passengers aboard
226
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,792
- headed for Mandrake Falls.
- Where?
227
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:57,961
It's some little hick-ass town
in New Hampshire.
228
00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:02,341
But now they're on their way back
with three male passengers.
229
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,801
- That's one more!
- Duh!
230
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,847
That third guy's our heir. Nice work, Marty.
231
00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:11,225
They were supposed to arrive
at Blake Media at 5:00.
232
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,560
But they made an unscheduled stop
in Connecticut.
233
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,313
I'm so happy I got the Big Bacon Classic.
234
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,815
Thanks for stopping, buddy.
These are unbelievable.
235
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:22,027
- Happy to do it, Deeds.
- How's that Frosty treating you, Cecil?
236
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,738
You got some on your beard.
237
00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:27,866
I'm just kidding you. I got him big time, man.
238
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,161
I'm going on the air in two hours' time.
239
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:34,873
And I want that guy's life story by then.
I'm talking to you, Jim.
240
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,918
And I'm also talking to you, Babe. Babe?
241
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,337
Where the hell's Babe?
242
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,298
You missed another staff meeting.
Mac's pissed.
243
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,843
Well, he's not gonna be pissed
when I crack this Blake story.
244
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:47,970
What do you got?
245
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:50,138
Nothing. Do you have anything?
246
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,182
I'll have a lot more in a few hours.
247
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:53,934
Marty, you got to be a pal.
248
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,729
I need this story.
I'm flat broke, and Mac is going to fire me.
249
00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,399
How're you flat broke?
You make more money than anyone here.
250
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:01,525
What did you blow it on?
251
00:15:01,818 --> 00:15:02,901
Shoes.
252
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,779
I'll tell you everything I know
over lunch tomorrow
253
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,656
as long as your club promoter boyfriend
254
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,200
doesn't try to run me over
with his motorcycle again.
255
00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:14,413
You're safe there. Ken and I kind of,
you know... We're taking a break.
256
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:16,164
Really? So he moved out?
257
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:20,502
Babe, what are you staying here for?
I have a spare bedroom.
258
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,796
We tried that once, remember?
259
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:27,134
I woke up and you were standing
over my bed, breathing heavily.
260
00:15:27,218 --> 00:15:30,220
I was having an asthma attack.
I couldn't find my puffer.
261
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:37,853
Easy, fellows.
The Biggie Fries are making a comeback.
262
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,188
You guys football fans?
263
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,065
I think the Pats could take
the conference this year.
264
00:15:42,150 --> 00:15:45,277
I mean, the Dolphins are overrated,
and the Jets are choke artists.
265
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,237
I wouldn't say that, Mr. Deeds.
266
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,281
Just Deeds. Why is that, though?
267
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,824
You own the Jets, Deeds.
268
00:15:50,908 --> 00:15:52,075
I do?
269
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,537
Whoa, that sucks.
270
00:15:56,748 --> 00:16:00,125
Jeez, I hope they don't play the Pats
in the playoffs, or I'll have to kill myself.
271
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,380
I'm still very worried about this.
272
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:09,718
What do you got in that pipe, hashish?
You're paranoid.
273
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:13,180
- This guy's perfect for us.
- What if he won't sell us his shares?
274
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:15,140
If I got Preston Blake to trust me
with his company,
275
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,558
I can get this moron to do the same.
276
00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,393
I mean, look at him.
277
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,420
That's right, Anderson.
278
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,269
Enough!
279
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,106
Party pooper.
280
00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:10,237
Holy cow!
281
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,155
What's up, New York?
282
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:16,952
It's an honor to come
to the greatest city in the world!
283
00:17:24,293 --> 00:17:29,464
Congratulations, Deeds, you're now
the most eligible bachelor in New York.
284
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:32,384
Well, jeez, I don't want to meet a girl
just because I'm wicked rich.
285
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:34,720
Well, that's nice, but let's see
how you stick to your guns
286
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:38,557
once you've paid a visit to one
of our many fine gentlemen's clubs.
287
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:40,058
What?
288
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:44,479
My father saved my mother. She was
figure skating and fell through the ice.
289
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:48,442
I always thought I'd meet a girl, kind of,
the same way. Some bullspit like that.
290
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:52,654
Well, then I'll just keep a lookout
for ladies in distress, as it were.
291
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:55,073
- That'd be nice.
- Hey, Mandrake Falls!
292
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:57,492
Security, stop that guy!
293
00:17:58,494 --> 00:17:59,828
Stop! Come back here!
294
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,413
He's gonna get 100 grand for that picture.
295
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,039
It'll be all over the news in an hour.
296
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:05,792
Well, he deserves it with those
James Bond moves he just pulled.
297
00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:10,088
No, he deserves to get his throat cut,
the filthy spy. Come on, let's go.
298
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,556
So this is where my uncle lived?
299
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:23,185
Yes, sir.
For the last 35 years of his astonishing life.
300
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:25,145
Boy, you kind of snuck up on me there.
301
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:26,938
I am very, very sneaky, sir.
302
00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:29,816
I see that. My name's Deeds.
303
00:18:29,901 --> 00:18:32,569
I am Emilio, sir. I am your servant.
304
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:36,198
Servant? I don't want a servant,
but if you want to be my friend, I'll take that.
305
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:38,909
Friends.
306
00:18:39,494 --> 00:18:41,369
Yes, good friends.
307
00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,623
Would you like to go down
to your apartment, sir?
308
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,792
I'm sure it's been an exhausting day.
309
00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:49,461
- That okay with you, Chuck?
- You'll be safe there.
310
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:52,923
It'll take us a couple days
to get the papers drawn up for you to sign.
311
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:55,133
- Go make yourself at home.
- Terrific.
312
00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:57,469
- Later.
- I will be with you shortly, sir.
313
00:18:57,553 --> 00:19:00,889
You got it. Hey, nice to meet you. I'm Deeds.
314
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:04,142
- I'm Reuben, sir.
- This is a wicked nice elevator.
315
00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:07,479
Keep an eye on him, Emilio. Or it's your ass.
316
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:09,064
It's nice to see you, too, sir.
317
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,983
So how's the elevator business
treating you, Reuben?
318
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:13,985
It has its ups and downs.
319
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:18,198
All right! All right! That was good.
320
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,160
Jeezum crow,
how'd you get down here so fast?
321
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,955
Sneaky-sneaky, sir. Right this way.
322
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:34,464
Wow.
323
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:37,926
Is something the matter, sir?
324
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,056
- That's an echo, sir.
- Yeah, you try it.
325
00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:45,600
- Me, sir?
- It's a lot of fun.
326
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,440
Come on, you can do it louder than that.
327
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,909
- Serious.
- Thank you, sir.
328
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,662
Hey, buddy, how you doing?
You want to give it a shot?
329
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:09,541
Nice.
330
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:14,296
You guys want to join us?
Make a weird noise.
331
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:27,100
That was a great time. Well, I'm kind of tired.
I'd like to go to sleep if I could.
332
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:29,060
- This way, Mr. Deeds.
- Thank you very much.
333
00:20:29,145 --> 00:20:31,104
- Good night, everyone.
- Good night, Mr. Deeds.
334
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,906
- Yeah?
- You just going to lie there
335
00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,365
and let the Post take your story?
336
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,798
What's up, New York?
337
00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:12,896
He had a water fountain in his room. I love it.
338
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:22,864
That's Hawaiian Punch.
339
00:21:23,658 --> 00:21:26,493
He adored Hawaiian Punch.
340
00:21:26,577 --> 00:21:30,830
Wow!
You kind ofjust snuck up on me there, man.
341
00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:34,501
I fear you're underestimating
the sneakiness, sir.
342
00:21:34,585 --> 00:21:37,462
Yeah. I guess I was.
What are you doing down there?
343
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:40,131
I am assisting you with your sock change.
344
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,633
You're gonna change my socks for me?
345
00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,510
You don't got to do that.
Come on, stand up.
346
00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:44,594
Thank you, sir.
347
00:21:44,679 --> 00:21:46,846
Besides, you don't want
to have to touch my right foot.
348
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:51,059
I got wicked bad frostbite
when I was in the Scouts. Check it out.
349
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,983
Pretty messed up, huh?
350
00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:02,404
The hideousness of that foot
will haunt my dreams forever.
351
00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:04,864
Yeah, I've heard that before.
352
00:22:05,157 --> 00:22:08,034
But the weird thing is
I got no feeling left in it.
353
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:11,121
So you could, like, jump on it
and it wouldn't hurt me.
354
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:12,205
Go ahead, jump on it.
355
00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:14,582
I would really rather not, sir.
356
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:16,418
Please. Please jump on my foot.
357
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:27,887
Yeah. I didn't feel that.
358
00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:32,350
What else you got? Hey, get that fireplace
poker right there and just whack my foot.
359
00:22:32,435 --> 00:22:36,062
- Do I absolutely have to?
- It's gonna be fun. Just grab it.
360
00:22:37,732 --> 00:22:40,608
All my friends do this when they're wasted.
361
00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:42,152
Come on.
362
00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:44,738
Go ahead, give it a whack.
363
00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:49,701
- Nothing.
- Really?
364
00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:51,077
Isn't that sick?
365
00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:56,041
Didn't feel that. Isn't that awesome?
Go ahead. Nothing.
366
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:57,459
Yeah. I know.
367
00:22:57,543 --> 00:23:00,545
I know you're starting to like it, aren't you?
Chop that wood!
368
00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:02,172
Yeah. That's it!
369
00:23:03,841 --> 00:23:07,260
You're sick! You're sick!
Why would you do that to me?
370
00:23:07,344 --> 00:23:08,595
I'm just kidding you, pal.
371
00:23:10,598 --> 00:23:12,724
You had me going there.
372
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:14,642
I saw your face, you were like...
373
00:23:15,978 --> 00:23:18,146
Anyway, I gotta talk to Cedar and Anderson,
374
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:19,606
find out what I'm supposed
to be doing today.
375
00:23:19,690 --> 00:23:22,150
So could you take that out of my foot?
I'm nailed to the ground here.
376
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:24,944
There you go.
377
00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:28,740
I must insist on absolute secrecy
regarding this discussion
378
00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:31,284
till I've officially acquired
Mr. Blake's shares.
379
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:33,453
If that's acceptable to you,
then as far as I'm concerned
380
00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:36,164
you've just bought 2,000 radio stations.
381
00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:38,875
Morning.
382
00:23:40,461 --> 00:23:41,461
Deeds.
383
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,088
What's up?
384
00:23:43,506 --> 00:23:44,964
Doing a little business.
385
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:51,054
This room's an echo room, too.
I'm sure you guys already knew that.
386
00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:53,932
May I help you?
387
00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:57,393
I just wanted to see
if there's anything I should be doing today.
388
00:23:58,562 --> 00:24:00,438
Well, I think we've got
everything under control.
389
00:24:00,523 --> 00:24:01,940
Well, there's got to be something.
390
00:24:02,024 --> 00:24:05,860
I mean, until I sign those papers,
I kind of own this place, right?
391
00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:08,029
What?
392
00:24:12,326 --> 00:24:13,952
Anderson, what's up, buddy?
393
00:24:14,036 --> 00:24:16,121
I was dreaming about Frosties all last night.
You?
394
00:24:16,205 --> 00:24:18,706
I tried to make my own at home,
but it just wasn't the same.
395
00:24:20,501 --> 00:24:21,501
Deeds.
396
00:24:21,585 --> 00:24:25,505
Every stockholder, large and small,
has a say in the operation of this company.
397
00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:27,841
And they have this say
at the annual stockholders' meeting.
398
00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:32,345
The other 364 days of the year, the officers
of the company, like me, run the show.
399
00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:34,222
You mean now that my uncle's gone.
400
00:24:34,682 --> 00:24:37,225
Yeah, and it's not all fun and games.
401
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:40,562
This company is a player on so many levels
and in so many areas
402
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:43,898
that running it is literally
a 24-hour-a-day job.
403
00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:47,110
I mean,
I only got three hours of sleep last night.
404
00:24:47,444 --> 00:24:50,113
Then it's actually a 21 -hour-a-day job, huh?
405
00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:53,575
Move it, lady.
I don't give a damn about no meeting.
406
00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:55,577
- Mr. Cedar, I am sorry...
- Hey!
407
00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:59,873
I passed for 3,500 yards last season,
and I ain't even gonna touch a football
408
00:24:59,957 --> 00:25:04,419
until you get off your fat, rich asses
and renegotiate my bullshit contract.
409
00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:06,504
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Easy with the language, buddy.
410
00:25:06,589 --> 00:25:07,797
There are ladies present.
411
00:25:09,466 --> 00:25:11,843
Shut the hell up, rich boy!
412
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:16,014
I want more money,
or y'all can just suck my...
413
00:25:20,686 --> 00:25:21,811
I warned you.
414
00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:26,983
You went down like a sack of potatoes,
I'll tell you that much. Come on.
415
00:25:28,819 --> 00:25:31,321
Come on, big man. Upsy-daisy.
416
00:25:33,115 --> 00:25:34,365
Football!
417
00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:37,285
What's the problem with your contract?
418
00:25:37,912 --> 00:25:41,915
You know, I figured if I played well,
I'd renegotiate and get more money.
419
00:25:42,333 --> 00:25:45,543
If you didn't play well,
could we renegotiate and pay you less?
420
00:25:45,628 --> 00:25:46,920
Shit, no!
421
00:25:47,296 --> 00:25:49,047
I mean, no.
422
00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:51,799
- Doesn't seem fair to me.
- Deeds.
423
00:25:52,301 --> 00:25:54,093
Kevin led the League in touchdown passes.
424
00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:55,637
That's okay, Chuck. I got this one.
425
00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:59,599
Listen, fellows, I want more money,
426
00:25:59,683 --> 00:26:01,935
or I ain't even gonna play another down.
427
00:26:05,272 --> 00:26:07,357
Well, we're gonna have to let you go then.
428
00:26:08,442 --> 00:26:09,484
Let me go?
429
00:26:09,985 --> 00:26:11,277
Yeah, you're fired.
430
00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:14,405
So can I sign with another team?
431
00:26:14,490 --> 00:26:17,408
You can do anything you want,
but I suggest you change your attitude,
432
00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:18,868
or nobody's gonna want to work with you.
433
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:22,288
Bye.
434
00:26:23,832 --> 00:26:26,918
Deeds, Kevin won the Heisman Trophy
two years ago.
435
00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:30,129
- He is our best player.
- Don't worry about it, he'll be back.
436
00:26:30,214 --> 00:26:32,173
Biggest mistake of your lives!
437
00:26:33,217 --> 00:26:34,926
- This thing's cool.
- Hey.
438
00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:39,055
Why don't you get out and enjoy the city?
Everything's fine here. Take that with you.
439
00:26:39,139 --> 00:26:42,433
No, I'll leave it here. That's all right.
But call me if you need me, all right?
440
00:26:42,518 --> 00:26:45,270
- Absolutely.
- Thanks. Love you, Anderson.
441
00:26:45,854 --> 00:26:50,108
All you guys, I noticed you were French.
The opposite of bonjourto you.
442
00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,113
You look so hot as a blond.
443
00:26:55,197 --> 00:26:58,116
You don't think it's too streaky?
I feel like he did it really streaky.
444
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,286
No, I love it, but you should let me go
undercover. This could get dangerous.
445
00:27:01,370 --> 00:27:05,039
No. He said he likes ladies in distress,
not men who wear too much cologne.
446
00:27:05,582 --> 00:27:07,959
- There he is.
- Thanks for the New York City tour, Tommy.
447
00:27:08,043 --> 00:27:11,421
- You're welcome, Deeds.
- Hidden cameras on, ready to go. Molest me.
448
00:27:12,589 --> 00:27:14,507
- Marty, molest me!
- You got it!
449
00:27:14,591 --> 00:27:16,634
- Oh, God. Help!
- Yeah. Come on. Give it to me.
450
00:27:16,719 --> 00:27:18,970
- Help, I'm being mugged!
- All right! Come on!
451
00:27:19,054 --> 00:27:21,597
Help! Help! I'm being mugged!
452
00:27:21,682 --> 00:27:24,183
- Stop it!
- Good luck. See you at the office.
453
00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:28,646
- Don't worry, I'll get him.
- Oh, shit!
454
00:27:28,731 --> 00:27:30,523
Stop! Stop right there.
455
00:27:36,363 --> 00:27:37,613
Come on!
456
00:27:41,869 --> 00:27:43,494
What's your problem, pal?
457
00:27:50,753 --> 00:27:51,878
Come up here.
458
00:27:53,630 --> 00:27:56,549
Got your pocketbook. Get a job, pal.
459
00:27:58,969 --> 00:28:00,428
Miss! Miss!
460
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:03,306
- Are you okay?
- What happened?
461
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:05,099
Let me help you up.
462
00:28:05,976 --> 00:28:07,977
All right, now. All right.
463
00:28:13,859 --> 00:28:17,153
Ma'am, you were just the victim
of a New York City mugger.
464
00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:19,697
As I suspected,
he was a coward and a weakling.
465
00:28:19,782 --> 00:28:22,533
And also wore more cologne
than any man should wear.
466
00:28:22,618 --> 00:28:25,578
- I got this back for you, though.
- Thank you.
467
00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:29,415
- Can I take you to the hospital?
- No, no.
468
00:28:30,376 --> 00:28:34,796
I'll be all right.
I just feel a little dizzy and violated.
469
00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:37,006
I'm fine.
470
00:28:38,801 --> 00:28:42,804
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Please,
let me take you to the emergency room.
471
00:28:43,806 --> 00:28:48,935
I'm sure I'll be all right.
I just need to perhaps walk it off or...
472
00:28:49,019 --> 00:28:50,728
- Could you?
- Sure. Sure.
473
00:28:50,813 --> 00:28:52,146
Thank you.
474
00:28:53,023 --> 00:28:54,690
Thank you so much.
475
00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:58,277
My name's Pam. Pam Dawson.
476
00:28:58,904 --> 00:29:03,199
My name is Deeds. I'm not from here.
I'm just visiting.
477
00:29:04,660 --> 00:29:06,661
Where do you hail from, Deeds?
478
00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:11,290
Mandrake Falls, New Hampshire.
Just a little town nobody's ever heard of.
479
00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:14,585
I'm from a little town like that.
480
00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:17,588
- In lowa.
- Is that right? What part?
481
00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:22,135
Winchestertonfieldville.
482
00:29:23,554 --> 00:29:27,682
Yes, the small town
of Winchestertonfieldville, lowa.
483
00:29:31,186 --> 00:29:32,186
I'm sorry.
484
00:29:32,896 --> 00:29:36,107
- So what are you doing in New York?
- I'm a school nurse.
485
00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:37,942
There's no way you're a school nurse.
486
00:29:38,235 --> 00:29:40,278
Why don't you believe me?
487
00:29:40,737 --> 00:29:42,864
You're too nice to be a school nurse.
488
00:29:43,365 --> 00:29:47,118
My school nurse was so mean. Every time
I would tell her I had a tummy ache,
489
00:29:47,202 --> 00:29:50,079
she'd send me back to my class
and say, "Stop whining."
490
00:29:50,164 --> 00:29:51,622
But that's awful!
491
00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:53,124
Well, I said it every day.
492
00:29:55,294 --> 00:29:56,711
I missed my mother.
493
00:29:57,546 --> 00:29:59,046
That's sweet.
494
00:30:00,132 --> 00:30:01,507
Miss Dawson?
495
00:30:02,217 --> 00:30:07,555
How would you like to maybe go out
and have a New York City dinner with me?
496
00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:09,599
Golly. Well...
497
00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:12,393
That sounds wonderful.
498
00:30:12,728 --> 00:30:14,187
- It does?
- Yeah.
499
00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:16,981
- Let's do it, then.
- Okay.
500
00:30:18,442 --> 00:30:20,401
Damn you, Old Spice.
501
00:30:23,614 --> 00:30:27,408
So you run this pizza place
and you have your poetry.
502
00:30:28,076 --> 00:30:30,203
So what brings you to the big city?
503
00:30:30,496 --> 00:30:33,206
Actually, I just inherited $40 billion.
504
00:30:34,249 --> 00:30:38,419
Well, that's nice, but I think anything
over $30 billion's just gravy.
505
00:30:41,465 --> 00:30:42,715
I like that.
506
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,677
Your hair is very blond and pretty.
507
00:30:46,762 --> 00:30:50,097
I'm of Swedish ancestry.
508
00:30:50,891 --> 00:30:52,433
- Really?
- Yes.
509
00:30:53,310 --> 00:30:56,270
My grandfather was in ABBA.
510
00:30:57,606 --> 00:30:59,106
ABBA, the band?
511
00:30:59,691 --> 00:31:03,569
Excuse me,
do you get any famous people in here?
512
00:31:03,654 --> 00:31:05,196
Famous, rich, powerful.
513
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:08,115
Really? We don't get
any famous people in Mandrake Falls.
514
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,701
Actually, Stephen King stopped by
our gas station one time,
515
00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:12,620
but everybody was too scared to talk to him.
516
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:14,789
I'd imagine he'd be very spooky.
517
00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:18,084
Jake, the gas station attendant,
made eye contact with him.
518
00:31:18,627 --> 00:31:20,795
That night he lost 200 pounds.
519
00:31:22,923 --> 00:31:23,923
Wow.
520
00:31:24,716 --> 00:31:26,968
Anyway, your chicken parmesan
should be ready soon.
521
00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:28,886
Okay, buddy. Hey, you know what?
522
00:31:28,971 --> 00:31:31,305
I saw a couple over there.
It's their anniversary.
523
00:31:31,848 --> 00:31:34,725
Give them this.
Don't say it's from us, though.
524
00:31:35,519 --> 00:31:36,894
This is, like, $20,000.
525
00:31:36,979 --> 00:31:39,272
Tell them it was like a restaurant giveaway,
or something like that.
526
00:31:39,481 --> 00:31:40,898
Thanks, buddy.
527
00:31:42,025 --> 00:31:45,111
That's an awfully nice way
to start spending your money.
528
00:31:45,195 --> 00:31:47,530
- Is that who I think it is?
- Who?
529
00:31:48,073 --> 00:31:50,950
Preston Blake's nephew, the $40 billion man.
530
00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:53,869
We have to meet him. Dave?
531
00:31:54,162 --> 00:31:57,164
Gosh, I hope that mugger got home okay.
532
00:31:57,499 --> 00:31:58,874
- Mr. Deeds.
- Yeah.
533
00:31:58,959 --> 00:32:02,420
Mr. Simonds would like
to invite you to join his party.
534
00:32:02,504 --> 00:32:04,088
Why is that?
535
00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:08,384
- Just to enjoy the pleasure of your company.
- Wow, that's pretty cool of him.
536
00:32:12,764 --> 00:32:14,849
Well, that was a very nice hug, Deeds.
537
00:32:14,933 --> 00:32:18,269
It's wicked nice of you guys
to invite us over here. This is awesome.
538
00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:19,395
Have we met?
539
00:32:19,730 --> 00:32:21,355
Not unless you have a sick kid.
540
00:32:22,024 --> 00:32:25,359
You're a very important man
in this town now, Mr. Deeds.
541
00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:26,611
I don't know about that.
542
00:32:26,695 --> 00:32:28,654
I sing at the Metropolitan Opera,
543
00:32:28,739 --> 00:32:32,450
and Blake Media contributes
50% of our budget.
544
00:32:32,534 --> 00:32:34,452
So, on behalf of the opera...
545
00:32:34,536 --> 00:32:40,082
Thank you
546
00:32:41,877 --> 00:32:43,294
That was awesome!
547
00:32:43,378 --> 00:32:46,547
You shouldn't be thanking me, though.
You should be thanking my great-uncle.
548
00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:48,257
He was a pretty interesting man.
549
00:32:48,342 --> 00:32:50,176
I served on the board
of the Guggenheim with him.
550
00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:53,387
Really? I'm not sure what that is,
but good luck with it.
551
00:32:55,182 --> 00:32:57,808
You know, I would love to write a piece
on you for The New Yorker.
552
00:32:57,893 --> 00:32:59,185
What's The New Yorker?
553
00:33:00,228 --> 00:33:01,520
It's a magazine.
554
00:33:02,397 --> 00:33:05,232
With essays, witty cartoons.
555
00:33:05,901 --> 00:33:09,737
I redd the Mandrake Falls Gazette
and they got some cartoons in there also.
556
00:33:09,821 --> 00:33:12,448
You know who's a riot?
That Beetle Bailey guy.
557
00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:14,950
He's always wearing his hat
and doing his thing.
558
00:33:15,827 --> 00:33:18,913
But it is an honor to meet
a real writer such as yourself, George.
559
00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:20,831
I've been trying
to get my stuff published for years,
560
00:33:20,916 --> 00:33:23,125
but that Hallmark
is one tough cookie to crack.
561
00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:24,627
Hallmark?
562
00:33:25,003 --> 00:33:26,879
He writes greeting cards.
563
00:33:26,963 --> 00:33:28,005
I try.
564
00:33:28,090 --> 00:33:30,216
You must share one with us.
565
00:33:30,425 --> 00:33:32,385
I don't know about that, Mr. French.
566
00:33:32,469 --> 00:33:33,928
Who's Mr. French?
567
00:33:34,012 --> 00:33:35,346
Doesn't he look like Mr. French?
568
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,098
I've never heard of him.
569
00:33:37,766 --> 00:33:39,684
- Come on.
- All right. All right, I'll give you one.
570
00:33:39,768 --> 00:33:41,602
This is a Mother's Day card
I've been working on.
571
00:33:42,521 --> 00:33:46,941
"Mom, you are the one
who brought me to Planet Earth.
572
00:33:47,567 --> 00:33:51,028
"You are the one who suffered
through my 14-hour birth.
573
00:33:51,488 --> 00:33:55,324
"You are the one who made lemonade for me
after I'd come back from play.
574
00:33:55,826 --> 00:33:59,912
"I love you, Mom,
so have a wicked nice Mother's Day."
575
00:34:00,414 --> 00:34:01,455
Something like that.
576
00:34:02,666 --> 00:34:03,791
An instant classic!
577
00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:05,835
Genius, genius, genius
578
00:34:06,294 --> 00:34:08,295
Do you write your poems
with a crayon, Deeds?
579
00:34:12,634 --> 00:34:13,884
It's amazing!
580
00:34:15,262 --> 00:34:18,305
I see why you brought me here.
To goof on me, huh?
581
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:19,890
Don't be silly, Deeds.
582
00:34:19,975 --> 00:34:21,308
Pipe down, George.
583
00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:24,770
I may seem funny to you,
but if you came to Mandrake Falls,
584
00:34:24,855 --> 00:34:26,313
you might seem funny to us.
585
00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:28,691
Only nobody would laugh at you
and make you feel stupid,
586
00:34:28,775 --> 00:34:29,984
'cause that wouldn't be good manners.
587
00:34:30,736 --> 00:34:34,321
Maybe my poems aren't that great,
but I know some people who like them.
588
00:34:34,740 --> 00:34:36,282
Anyways, it's the best I can do.
589
00:34:36,825 --> 00:34:38,743
Okay. Well, we're going to get going.
590
00:34:38,827 --> 00:34:41,495
Sorry about that, Pam.
I hope I didn't embarrass you.
591
00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:50,504
And if it wasn't for Miss Dawson being here,
I'd probably knock your heads in.
592
00:34:50,589 --> 00:34:52,840
- I don't mind.
- Okay.
593
00:34:57,053 --> 00:34:58,512
No
594
00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:08,731
I think I just shat myself.
595
00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:11,734
How would you like to go
see the sights now, Miss Dawson?
596
00:35:11,818 --> 00:35:14,361
Yes. I just need to powder my nose.
597
00:35:14,446 --> 00:35:15,905
That'd be great. I'll get your coat.
598
00:35:15,989 --> 00:35:17,406
- Okay.
- Okay.
599
00:35:17,491 --> 00:35:21,327
Hey, buddy, this will pay for everything
I damaged. Sorry about that.
600
00:35:21,411 --> 00:35:23,120
- Good to meet you guys.
- Thank you.
601
00:35:23,830 --> 00:35:27,041
God, that was good stuff. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
602
00:35:29,044 --> 00:35:30,503
I want a raise, Mac.
603
00:35:32,589 --> 00:35:33,964
Yes. Yes.
604
00:35:34,925 --> 00:35:36,467
Hey, man! What's up?
605
00:35:37,052 --> 00:35:39,386
Holy cannoli, you're John McEnroe!
606
00:35:39,554 --> 00:35:42,598
Hey, I saw what you did to those guys
who were making fun of you. Nice work.
607
00:35:42,891 --> 00:35:45,434
You know what it's like to get riled up,
don't you, Johnny Mac?
608
00:35:45,519 --> 00:35:46,685
That I do.
609
00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:48,312
I'm Deeds, by the way.
610
00:35:48,605 --> 00:35:49,980
Deeds, nice to meet you.
611
00:35:50,065 --> 00:35:54,151
- You got to let me buy you a drink.
- Miss Dawson, this is John McEnroe.
612
00:35:54,236 --> 00:35:56,570
- Hello.
- Miss Dawson, nice to meet you.
613
00:35:56,655 --> 00:35:58,072
Nice to meet you, too.
614
00:35:58,156 --> 00:36:00,699
I kind of promised Miss Dawson
I'd take her out sightseeing.
615
00:36:00,784 --> 00:36:03,619
Look, the sights are great.
I've seen the sights. I love the sights.
616
00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:06,539
Let me show you a New York
most people will never see.
617
00:36:07,582 --> 00:36:10,876
- That okay with you, Miss Dawson?
- Sounds like fun!
618
00:36:10,961 --> 00:36:13,254
Here's to a big night on the town.
619
00:36:14,047 --> 00:36:15,172
Okay.
620
00:36:15,257 --> 00:36:16,257
Yes!
621
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,852
What happened?
622
00:36:27,936 --> 00:36:30,187
Here are some aspirins, Mr. Deeds.
623
00:36:30,272 --> 00:36:32,481
They make your head seem smaller.
624
00:36:36,069 --> 00:36:37,862
How did I get in these pajamas?
625
00:36:37,946 --> 00:36:38,946
I changed you.
626
00:36:39,865 --> 00:36:41,657
I was very gentle, sir.
627
00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:46,287
I think I drank all the alcohol
in Manhattan last night.
628
00:36:46,454 --> 00:36:49,665
And you nearly succeeded
according to Miss Dawson.
629
00:36:50,584 --> 00:36:54,420
Miss Dawson. I don't even remember
taking her home. Is she okay?
630
00:36:54,504 --> 00:36:57,256
I took the liberty of sending her off
in the company limousine.
631
00:36:57,340 --> 00:37:00,301
She was a lady in distress and I helped her.
632
00:37:01,136 --> 00:37:02,803
Dreamt about her last night.
633
00:37:03,346 --> 00:37:06,140
Usually when you get blackout drunk,
you don't dream.
634
00:37:07,642 --> 00:37:08,726
So I read.
635
00:37:13,315 --> 00:37:14,648
What's up, Chuck?
636
00:37:18,153 --> 00:37:20,154
America's newest billionaire...
637
00:37:21,907 --> 00:37:23,115
...stupid and drunk.
638
00:37:23,199 --> 00:37:24,241
What's this?
639
00:37:24,326 --> 00:37:26,827
Well, it was quite a night
for Longfellow Deeds.
640
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,080
Oh, no.
They're gonna know my name's Longfellow.
641
00:37:30,165 --> 00:37:32,541
After punching out some society types,
642
00:37:34,294 --> 00:37:38,714
Deeds joined forces with the original
bad boy of tennis, John McEnroe.
643
00:37:38,798 --> 00:37:41,258
And stupidity won in straight sets.
644
00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:50,059
How'd they get that footage?
645
00:37:50,644 --> 00:37:52,186
Watch out, Johnny!
646
00:37:54,856 --> 00:37:58,275
What kind of driving is that?
You're a... disgrace!
647
00:37:58,526 --> 00:38:00,611
No, sir. You're a disgrace.
648
00:38:00,904 --> 00:38:02,780
- We did it, man!
- Johnny McEnroe!
649
00:38:02,864 --> 00:38:06,575
Look at Deedsy hanging out with McEnroe!
That's awesome!
650
00:38:07,535 --> 00:38:09,161
I love the Beach Boys.
651
00:38:09,913 --> 00:38:12,039
Here I go, here I go.
652
00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:17,419
This is not the kind of attention
we need right now.
653
00:38:17,504 --> 00:38:18,504
What do you mean?
654
00:38:18,588 --> 00:38:21,715
For the moment,
you are the largest stockholder,
655
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,842
and people might think
any instability you show
656
00:38:23,927 --> 00:38:26,553
may equal instability in the company.
657
00:38:30,517 --> 00:38:31,725
My bad.
658
00:38:33,603 --> 00:38:35,771
My bad. My bad.
659
00:38:35,855 --> 00:38:36,897
Okay. Okay.
660
00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:38,065
- My bad.
- Okay.
661
00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:41,151
Shall I call your car, Mr. Cedar,
to take you to the funeral?
662
00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:42,736
What funeral?
663
00:38:43,613 --> 00:38:46,323
- Your great-uncle's funeral.
- His funeral's today?
664
00:38:46,408 --> 00:38:47,408
Today, yes.
665
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,618
I'll go get my suit on.
666
00:38:57,043 --> 00:38:59,169
- Cute, bigmouth.
- Sir?
667
00:38:59,754 --> 00:39:01,672
As soon as that moron goes back
to Cowpie Falls,
668
00:39:01,756 --> 00:39:04,591
you are out of here
on your fat Puerto Rican ass.
669
00:39:09,597 --> 00:39:11,515
I hail from Spain, sir.
670
00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:24,445
Now, Brother Preston is soaring
with eagles high above.
671
00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:28,323
Because he lived a life of love.
672
00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:32,536
Yes, he's flying way up high
673
00:39:33,496 --> 00:39:35,956
because he was a super cool guy.
674
00:39:37,417 --> 00:39:40,794
He's gone away, too soon, it seems,
675
00:39:41,421 --> 00:39:44,590
leaving behind his unfinished dreams.
676
00:39:44,674 --> 00:39:47,384
This guy could make a fortune
writing greeting cards.
677
00:39:47,469 --> 00:39:50,304
Yes, we remember Preston Blake.
678
00:39:50,847 --> 00:39:53,682
A man with faith no man could shake.
679
00:39:54,517 --> 00:39:56,685
A strength no man could break.
680
00:39:57,228 --> 00:39:59,730
A character no man could fake.
681
00:40:00,523 --> 00:40:03,150
For goodness sake, let's eat some cake.
682
00:40:03,485 --> 00:40:05,819
- Amen.
- Amen.
683
00:40:06,821 --> 00:40:09,782
Excuse me, Reverend, that was a grand slam.
684
00:40:09,866 --> 00:40:12,910
I mean, that part with soaring
with the eagles gave me goose bumps.
685
00:40:12,994 --> 00:40:14,369
Thank you, my brother.
686
00:40:14,454 --> 00:40:16,246
My friend got me a mug for my birthday.
687
00:40:16,331 --> 00:40:20,167
It says, "It's hard to soar with the eagles
when you're surrounded by turkeys."
688
00:40:20,376 --> 00:40:23,462
- But what you said was better.
- It's all good.
689
00:40:24,214 --> 00:40:25,881
Rest in peace, Preston.
690
00:40:26,299 --> 00:40:28,133
That concludes today's service.
691
00:40:29,677 --> 00:40:32,012
I actually, I thought I would say something.
692
00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:36,350
Deedsy was always the best speaker
in school.
693
00:40:36,976 --> 00:40:37,976
Deedsy?
694
00:40:38,061 --> 00:40:40,020
Awesome job, by the way, Your Majesty.
695
00:40:40,396 --> 00:40:43,023
I thought we were watching Scooby-Doo.
696
00:40:43,399 --> 00:40:47,569
Hi, my name is Deeds.
I was Preston Blake's great-nephew.
697
00:40:47,987 --> 00:40:51,323
I wrote a poem for him
on my way over here, in my head.
698
00:40:51,658 --> 00:40:54,076
And I'm going to recite it for you.
699
00:40:54,744 --> 00:40:58,205
I didn't realize I'd be following
the rhyme-master Reverend Sharpton.
700
00:40:59,207 --> 00:41:00,749
But here we go anyways.
701
00:41:01,501 --> 00:41:04,461
"You climbed mountains
and built skyscrapers
702
00:41:05,672 --> 00:41:09,550
"You made TV shows
and put out newspapers
703
00:41:11,219 --> 00:41:13,846
"You were wicked good at doing stocks
704
00:41:14,973 --> 00:41:17,432
"You liked it when Emilio
would change your socks
705
00:41:19,060 --> 00:41:21,854
"We never hung out and that makes me sad
706
00:41:22,772 --> 00:41:25,107
"All the good times we could've had"
707
00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:27,234
Nice rhyme.
708
00:41:27,610 --> 00:41:31,071
"But when I die, Uncle Preston,
you'd better say, 'Cheers! '
709
00:41:31,948 --> 00:41:34,616
"'Cause me and you are hanging
at the pearly gates
710
00:41:34,701 --> 00:41:38,495
"I'll bring the beers, I'll bring the beers"
711
00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:40,414
He's good.
712
00:41:40,915 --> 00:41:41,957
Amen.
713
00:41:42,041 --> 00:41:45,460
Now, I know this is supposed to be
a closed casket, but where I come from
714
00:41:45,545 --> 00:41:49,214
we feel it's good to see the body
for the grieving process, so...
715
00:41:52,343 --> 00:41:55,345
Sorry about that! I'll keep this sucker closed.
716
00:41:59,934 --> 00:42:01,768
He's still pretty frozen.
717
00:42:02,437 --> 00:42:03,645
Almost there.
718
00:42:06,232 --> 00:42:08,650
I'll keep an eye on the company
for you, buddy. Love you.
719
00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:10,652
Nice meeting you. Thanks for the apartment.
720
00:42:11,279 --> 00:42:12,487
That was freaky.
721
00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:14,489
Everybody drive home safe.
722
00:42:15,074 --> 00:42:17,117
Man, this guy is in way over his head.
723
00:42:17,202 --> 00:42:19,203
- Take care, Father.
- You're gonna see him again tonight?
724
00:42:19,287 --> 00:42:22,831
Yes, I'm calling at around 4:00.
That's when I get off work.
725
00:42:22,916 --> 00:42:28,503
Remember, I'm Pam Dawson, virgin school
nurse from Winchestertonfieldville, lowa.
726
00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:32,341
That's priceless.
727
00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:35,260
You, a virgin.
728
00:42:41,476 --> 00:42:44,019
- All right, thank you.
- Excuse me, sir.
729
00:42:44,437 --> 00:42:46,897
- It's all right. I told him he could have that.
- Thanks, Deeds.
730
00:42:46,981 --> 00:42:48,982
Right on, buddy. Nice seeing you.
731
00:42:49,067 --> 00:42:51,568
You need to use our bathroom,
come back and use it, okay?
732
00:42:51,653 --> 00:42:53,779
- Will do, Deeds.
- All right.
733
00:42:55,073 --> 00:42:59,201
- How do you think I did at the funeral today?
- You spoke beautifully, sir.
734
00:42:59,285 --> 00:43:00,410
I still feel bad.
735
00:43:00,495 --> 00:43:04,414
I think I snapped my uncle's hand off
when I was putting him back in the casket.
736
00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:06,833
Lucky for him, he was dead, sir.
737
00:43:06,918 --> 00:43:09,962
Even though his face was frozen that way,
738
00:43:10,046 --> 00:43:12,547
it looked to me like he was a happy guy.
Am I right?
739
00:43:13,424 --> 00:43:14,925
He truly was.
740
00:43:15,009 --> 00:43:16,301
Come on, sit down, please.
741
00:43:16,636 --> 00:43:20,514
And I got to hang out with him, just like this,
742
00:43:20,598 --> 00:43:22,724
almost every day for 30 years.
743
00:43:23,351 --> 00:43:24,601
What did you guys talk about?
744
00:43:24,894 --> 00:43:29,189
We spoke of life, love, art, wine, business.
745
00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:31,358
I learned much from him.
746
00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:32,818
I bet you miss him, too.
747
00:43:32,902 --> 00:43:35,779
I do. He was like a parent to me.
748
00:43:36,614 --> 00:43:42,411
You see, I never knew my father. And Mama,
she passed while giving the birth to me.
749
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,208
- You want some Cocoa Pebbles?
- No, thanks.
750
00:43:48,293 --> 00:43:49,293
Okay.
751
00:43:49,377 --> 00:43:52,629
I have much work to do.
752
00:43:52,714 --> 00:43:54,965
Thanks. You don't got to do that. All right.
Thank you.
753
00:43:55,049 --> 00:43:56,800
Enjoy your Pebbles.
754
00:43:57,468 --> 00:43:58,468
One more thing.
755
00:43:59,512 --> 00:44:02,222
Your great-uncle did not let me
change his socks for him, either.
756
00:44:04,142 --> 00:44:07,269
I like feet. I do not know why.
757
00:44:15,695 --> 00:44:16,737
Hello.
758
00:44:17,071 --> 00:44:19,990
Hi, Deeds? It's Pam. Pam Dawson.
759
00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:23,827
I'm so happy you called.
I'm wicked sorry about last night.
760
00:44:23,911 --> 00:44:25,412
I don't drink very often.
761
00:44:25,830 --> 00:44:28,582
I thought you held your liquor very well.
762
00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:31,043
Well, unfortunately,
I couldn't hold it for too long.
763
00:44:31,127 --> 00:44:34,755
That's okay.
I didn't really like that skirt anyway.
764
00:44:36,382 --> 00:44:37,841
I'm getting a call on the other line.
765
00:44:37,925 --> 00:44:39,509
Do you think you can hang on
for a second?
766
00:44:39,594 --> 00:44:42,596
- Sure.
- Thank you. Hello.
767
00:44:42,847 --> 00:44:46,016
Mr. Deeds, this is Kevin Ward,
the quarterback you punched.
768
00:44:46,434 --> 00:44:47,934
Okay. What's up, buddy?
769
00:44:48,019 --> 00:44:53,273
Yeah. I wanted to say that I was thinking
it over and I'd like to live up to my word.
770
00:44:53,358 --> 00:44:55,025
And I'd like to win you a Super Bowl.
771
00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:58,320
- That's terrific, pal.
- And my daddy wants to speak to you.
772
00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:01,365
Deeds. Buddy Ward here, Kevin's daddy.
773
00:45:01,449 --> 00:45:02,699
How you doing there, Mr. Ward?
774
00:45:02,784 --> 00:45:05,369
I just want to thank you
for teaching my boy a lesson.
775
00:45:05,453 --> 00:45:07,120
Not a problem, sir. He's a good kid.
776
00:45:07,205 --> 00:45:09,414
He's just gotta watch his language
in front of the ladies.
777
00:45:12,502 --> 00:45:14,294
I'll remind Kevin where he comes from.
778
00:45:14,670 --> 00:45:16,338
Okay. That sounds terrific.
779
00:45:16,422 --> 00:45:19,424
You used foul language in front of a lady?
780
00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:21,134
No, Daddy, no!
781
00:45:25,139 --> 00:45:26,181
Pam.
782
00:45:26,265 --> 00:45:27,682
Still here, Deeds.
783
00:45:27,767 --> 00:45:29,309
So how's it going? You at work?
784
00:45:29,769 --> 00:45:33,313
- Yep, up here in the nurse's office.
- Any customers?
785
00:45:33,564 --> 00:45:35,732
Customers? Oh, sick kids.
786
00:45:36,818 --> 00:45:40,153
Well, little Billy Barty's here.
787
00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:42,489
You're not feeling too good, Billy?
788
00:45:43,032 --> 00:45:45,951
Miss Dawson, my tummy hurts.
789
00:45:46,452 --> 00:45:49,162
Okay. Why don't you just lay back and relax?
790
00:45:49,455 --> 00:45:50,789
That was nice. Good job.
791
00:45:50,873 --> 00:45:54,626
I've got too much doo-doo
in my underpants.
792
00:45:55,837 --> 00:45:58,171
Make the stinky go away.
793
00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:00,590
Well, you sound like
you got your hands full,
794
00:46:00,675 --> 00:46:03,260
so I'll just come out with it.
795
00:46:04,178 --> 00:46:06,346
How would you like
to do something with me tonight?
796
00:46:07,348 --> 00:46:09,099
I'd love to do something with you.
797
00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:11,184
Great. Well, we can't go out drinking
798
00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:13,019
'cause I got our company in trouble.
799
00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:17,023
That's okay.
I was brought up never to drink alcohol.
800
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,609
Not even rum raisin ice cream.
801
00:46:19,694 --> 00:46:22,446
I like that.
I'll think of something good, okay?
802
00:46:22,530 --> 00:46:23,697
See you tonight.
803
00:46:23,781 --> 00:46:25,115
Okay. Bye.
804
00:46:29,328 --> 00:46:30,996
I got to try this.
805
00:46:43,509 --> 00:46:44,885
Was that awesome?
806
00:46:46,554 --> 00:46:47,888
Am I out or safe?
807
00:46:50,057 --> 00:46:51,558
I'm with you.
808
00:46:53,394 --> 00:46:57,022
What is this?
My great-uncle's personal journal.
809
00:46:58,441 --> 00:46:59,483
Should I read it?
810
00:47:00,067 --> 00:47:01,318
Family.
811
00:47:02,904 --> 00:47:04,696
Family, safe, good.
812
00:47:05,448 --> 00:47:08,909
All right, have a good night. My back hurts!
813
00:47:13,581 --> 00:47:15,916
- Nice doing business with you, fellows.
- Thank you, Mr. Deeds.
814
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,709
Thanks for the bikes.
815
00:47:18,085 --> 00:47:21,254
- What are you gonna do with your $20,000?
- Buy a giraffe.
816
00:47:21,339 --> 00:47:24,174
- What are you gonna do with your $20,000?
- Quit school.
817
00:47:24,592 --> 00:47:29,095
Good idea. School is for fools. Look at me!
818
00:47:54,497 --> 00:47:56,414
The park is beautiful.
819
00:47:57,041 --> 00:48:00,669
These trees, they remind you
of Winchestertonfieldville at all?
820
00:48:00,753 --> 00:48:04,256
Yes. Yes. Very much so.
821
00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:08,385
- What was it like growing up there?
- It was great.
822
00:48:08,970 --> 00:48:13,014
I remember walking down
to the corner drugstore
823
00:48:13,099 --> 00:48:15,392
and getting malted milkshakes.
824
00:48:16,310 --> 00:48:17,727
What was your house like?
825
00:48:18,688 --> 00:48:23,358
We had this big Victorian.
Right off Main Street.
826
00:48:24,485 --> 00:48:27,070
Blue shutters and a big red door.
827
00:48:27,530 --> 00:48:28,572
All right.
828
00:48:29,115 --> 00:48:31,741
And a tire swing in the front yard.
829
00:48:31,826 --> 00:48:32,867
I love it.
830
00:48:33,494 --> 00:48:37,414
And I remember the time I fell out of
old Boo Radley's apple tree
831
00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:39,165
and broke my arm.
832
00:48:39,834 --> 00:48:43,712
And my father, before he passed away
833
00:48:43,796 --> 00:48:46,214
from the disease of the lepers,
834
00:48:47,049 --> 00:48:51,386
he came and he scooped me up,
and he ran me all the way to Dr. Pepper's.
835
00:48:53,097 --> 00:48:54,264
Dr. Pepper?
836
00:48:54,974 --> 00:48:55,974
Yeah.
837
00:48:56,225 --> 00:48:57,976
I'm glad that guy was around.
838
00:48:59,061 --> 00:49:01,187
- Want to sit down?
- Sure.
839
00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:05,191
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
840
00:49:05,568 --> 00:49:08,778
I was reading my great-uncle's journal
on my way over to you.
841
00:49:08,863 --> 00:49:11,239
And when he was age nine,
842
00:49:11,324 --> 00:49:15,118
he wrote that he had the only family
on the block with a radio,
843
00:49:15,202 --> 00:49:17,871
and he was dreaming about becoming
a disc jockey someday.
844
00:49:18,331 --> 00:49:19,956
- A disc jockey?
- Yeah.
845
00:49:20,041 --> 00:49:21,041
Wow.
846
00:49:22,710 --> 00:49:26,046
You know, when I was a kid,
I wanted to be a news reporter.
847
00:49:26,130 --> 00:49:27,505
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
848
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:29,841
I used to go around interviewing everyone,
849
00:49:29,925 --> 00:49:33,345
and writing notes
in my little Holly Hobbie notebook.
850
00:49:35,056 --> 00:49:38,266
People didn't like that. I got beat up a lot.
851
00:49:38,351 --> 00:49:42,062
- Do you remember their names?
- No, it was a long time ago.
852
00:49:42,146 --> 00:49:43,146
Okay.
853
00:49:43,522 --> 00:49:45,482
But my grandma said to me,
854
00:49:45,566 --> 00:49:48,818
"One day, honey, you're gonna grow up,
and you're gonna work for 60 Minutes,
855
00:49:48,903 --> 00:49:51,571
"and make a difference in the world."
856
00:49:51,989 --> 00:49:55,575
Well, you do make a difference in the world
every day. You're a school nurse.
857
00:49:57,620 --> 00:49:58,787
Yeah.
858
00:49:59,246 --> 00:50:01,456
Anyways, this is what happened to my uncle.
859
00:50:01,540 --> 00:50:05,168
Later on in his life, he'd go
to this radio station that he owned
860
00:50:05,252 --> 00:50:08,380
at, like, 3:00 in the morning,
and DJ for an hour.
861
00:50:08,547 --> 00:50:10,757
- That's great.
- Yeah.
862
00:50:10,841 --> 00:50:14,552
So don't give up hope.
You'll be a reporter someday.
863
00:50:14,637 --> 00:50:15,762
If you really want to.
864
00:50:17,723 --> 00:50:19,432
That would be nice.
865
00:50:22,311 --> 00:50:24,604
- Jeezum crow, a fire!
- Fire?
866
00:50:24,855 --> 00:50:26,773
- We should help.
- We should?
867
00:50:26,857 --> 00:50:28,525
- Let's get going.
- To the fire?
868
00:50:28,609 --> 00:50:29,609
Yeah.
869
00:50:29,944 --> 00:50:33,530
- Fifi, get over here right now.
- Come on, we'll catch you.
870
00:50:33,614 --> 00:50:37,659
Go away! No! I can't leave without me kitties.
They're all I got.
871
00:50:38,160 --> 00:50:39,953
- Crazy lady!
- Babies, where are you?
872
00:50:40,037 --> 00:50:42,122
- Don't worry!
- Get up there now. Get going!
873
00:50:42,415 --> 00:50:45,208
Longfellow Deeds,
Mandrake Falls volunteer fire chief.
874
00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:47,127
I'll be up there in a jiff, buddy.
875
00:50:47,211 --> 00:50:49,796
- Get right back in the car.
- Yeah, take them.
876
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,382
Where's he going?
877
00:50:53,467 --> 00:50:54,592
Watch it, man!
878
00:50:54,927 --> 00:50:57,387
- Hey, Sully, who's that guy up there?
- I don't know.
879
00:50:57,471 --> 00:51:00,014
He says he's from
the Mandrake Falls Fire Department.
880
00:51:01,183 --> 00:51:02,600
How the hell does he climb like that?
881
00:51:02,685 --> 00:51:04,811
He must have monkey blood in him
or something.
882
00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:07,647
It's an honor to work
with New York's bravest guys.
883
00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:09,357
Be careful, Deeds!
884
00:51:09,442 --> 00:51:10,442
I'm gonna get you.
885
00:51:10,526 --> 00:51:12,736
Where are me babies?
Babies, where are you?
886
00:51:12,820 --> 00:51:14,988
- Ma'am!
- Oh, Lord, it's hot in here.
887
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:16,740
Calm down. Calm down.
888
00:51:16,824 --> 00:51:18,575
- Kitties, come to Mommy.
- Everything's gonna be all right.
889
00:51:18,659 --> 00:51:20,493
Okay, but I'm not leaving without me kitties.
890
00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:22,495
- How many do you got?
- Seven.
891
00:51:22,955 --> 00:51:24,998
Holy shit! Let's get cracking.
892
00:51:26,876 --> 00:51:28,251
I apologize for the language.
893
00:51:28,335 --> 00:51:29,461
Apology accepted.
894
00:51:34,341 --> 00:51:37,010
- Fire excites me.
- Knock yourself out.
895
00:51:38,804 --> 00:51:41,264
- Come here. Come here.
- Yes. That's Freddy.
896
00:51:42,016 --> 00:51:43,349
Here we go!
897
00:51:43,851 --> 00:51:45,018
My children!
898
00:51:45,186 --> 00:51:46,519
Look out!
899
00:51:51,150 --> 00:51:52,484
Nice catch, Pam!
900
00:51:52,568 --> 00:51:54,194
Good throw, Deeds!
901
00:52:05,164 --> 00:52:08,041
- That's Frobo. Thank you, darling.
- Coming at you, boys.
902
00:52:12,546 --> 00:52:13,838
I'll take that.
903
00:52:14,799 --> 00:52:15,882
There's a lot more.
904
00:52:15,966 --> 00:52:17,675
Okay, okay, okay.
905
00:52:29,188 --> 00:52:30,897
Holy shit, it's a cat!
906
00:52:34,568 --> 00:52:36,903
Oh, snap. I got you, kitty.
907
00:52:39,240 --> 00:52:40,573
Nice grab!
908
00:52:42,409 --> 00:52:43,618
One more to go.
909
00:52:44,036 --> 00:52:46,162
Fifi, where are you?
910
00:52:47,331 --> 00:52:50,166
- I think I found Fifi.
- Good!
911
00:52:51,085 --> 00:52:53,127
Hang in there. Hang in there, buddy!
912
00:52:54,588 --> 00:52:56,047
I got it! I got it!
913
00:53:03,556 --> 00:53:05,890
- Okay, let's do this together.
- I'm scared.
914
00:53:06,725 --> 00:53:08,226
Deeds, be careful!
915
00:53:08,310 --> 00:53:10,395
All right, they do it all the time. Here we go.
916
00:53:14,441 --> 00:53:15,650
Oh, shit!
917
00:53:18,946 --> 00:53:19,946
Deeds.
918
00:53:20,489 --> 00:53:21,739
I'm okay.
919
00:53:22,449 --> 00:53:23,575
Are you okay?
920
00:53:24,827 --> 00:53:27,495
Yes, I am. Thanks to you!
921
00:53:29,665 --> 00:53:30,999
You're hurting me!
922
00:53:35,254 --> 00:53:37,589
Longfellow Deeds is at it again.
923
00:53:38,048 --> 00:53:40,091
His latest victim, Coretta Keeling,
924
00:53:40,175 --> 00:53:43,052
whose only crime
was loving her cats too much.
925
00:53:43,137 --> 00:53:45,680
And letting Deeds find out about it.
926
00:53:45,764 --> 00:53:47,056
I'm gonna get you!
927
00:53:47,141 --> 00:53:48,182
Go away!
928
00:53:48,726 --> 00:53:50,643
- I love it.
- Here comes two!
929
00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:56,983
- Cat killer! Cat killer!
- After he finished with her cats,
930
00:53:57,067 --> 00:53:59,819
he turned his sights on Miss Keeling herself.
931
00:54:00,154 --> 00:54:01,571
No! No!
932
00:54:01,780 --> 00:54:02,780
My God!
933
00:54:03,824 --> 00:54:05,241
That's not what I shot.
934
00:54:05,326 --> 00:54:08,119
Has Longfellow Deeds been locked up?
Of course not.
935
00:54:08,203 --> 00:54:12,081
While the rest of us obey the law,
rich playboys like himself get to laugh at it.
936
00:54:14,293 --> 00:54:15,710
Longfellow Deeds.
937
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:17,879
Ourjackass of the week.
938
00:54:18,547 --> 00:54:20,840
What the hell? Who edited that?
939
00:54:21,216 --> 00:54:22,300
I did.
940
00:54:22,384 --> 00:54:25,803
Your first cut was great,
but I needed to spice it up a bit.
941
00:54:25,888 --> 00:54:31,434
The truth was a great story.
He saved that woman and her seven cats.
942
00:54:31,518 --> 00:54:34,270
- He was heroic!
- Heroic is nice.
943
00:54:34,355 --> 00:54:37,106
- Depraved and insane is better.
- Hell, yeah!
944
00:54:37,191 --> 00:54:41,027
Babe, this footage you're getting, gorgeous.
Keep it coming!
945
00:54:41,695 --> 00:54:44,238
God, how can we do this
to such a sweet guy?
946
00:54:44,323 --> 00:54:48,451
Sweet? Sweet? Look at me!
947
00:54:48,827 --> 00:54:52,205
Was he being sweet when he gave me
the most savage beating of my life?
948
00:54:52,539 --> 00:54:54,040
You were mugging me!
949
00:54:54,291 --> 00:54:59,003
Babe, no one is as good
as this guy's pretending to be.
950
00:54:59,838 --> 00:55:01,381
Don't be a sucker.
951
00:55:01,882 --> 00:55:03,508
He doesn't deserve this.
952
00:55:05,552 --> 00:55:07,428
He doesn't deserve you.
953
00:55:08,973 --> 00:55:10,264
My neck!
954
00:55:14,937 --> 00:55:19,148
I feel like an idiot.
They made me look like a fool, Jan.
955
00:55:19,858 --> 00:55:23,194
I was thinking of going down
to that Inside Access place
956
00:55:23,278 --> 00:55:26,239
and giving Mac McGrath
the beating of a lifetime.
957
00:55:26,615 --> 00:55:29,909
That sounds like fun,
but don't stoop to their level.
958
00:55:30,452 --> 00:55:32,078
You're better than that, Deedsy.
959
00:55:32,538 --> 00:55:36,207
So hang in there.
And know that we are always here for you.
960
00:55:38,335 --> 00:55:42,422
Thanks, Jan.
My uncle really built an amazing company.
961
00:55:42,506 --> 00:55:45,925
Because of him, 50,000 people have jobs.
962
00:55:46,010 --> 00:55:48,511
And he always tried to do the right thing.
963
00:55:49,763 --> 00:55:55,435
Well, he does sound amazing.
But don't forget, he was related to you.
964
00:55:56,103 --> 00:56:00,481
Enough about that.
Tell me more about this girl.
965
00:56:01,567 --> 00:56:05,570
She's nice. A small-town kid, like me.
966
00:56:06,155 --> 00:56:09,365
Deedsy, you sick-ass mo' fo'.
967
00:56:09,450 --> 00:56:13,870
You got to tap that before she starts
boning other guys, kid. Boo-Yah!
968
00:56:16,290 --> 00:56:19,625
He thinks it's you! He thinks it's you!
969
00:56:21,086 --> 00:56:24,464
- Let's go, Cedar. Put some steam on it, kid.
- Here it comes.
970
00:56:27,801 --> 00:56:29,093
He's trying to kill me.
971
00:56:29,178 --> 00:56:30,470
You're good at this.
972
00:56:30,554 --> 00:56:33,931
You know, when you asked me to play,
I thought you'd done this before.
973
00:56:34,099 --> 00:56:36,976
No, Johnny McEnroe said
it was wicked easy.
974
00:56:37,061 --> 00:56:39,187
Plus, it was my uncle's favorite game, right?
975
00:56:39,271 --> 00:56:40,354
How'd you know that?
976
00:56:40,439 --> 00:56:41,814
I read it in his diary.
977
00:56:42,983 --> 00:56:46,235
Really? I didn't know he kept a diary.
978
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:52,533
Sorry about that, dude.
979
00:56:52,993 --> 00:56:54,994
It's okay. He's a new member.
980
00:56:55,871 --> 00:56:56,871
Ball boy.
981
00:56:58,040 --> 00:56:59,040
Ball boy!
982
00:57:01,376 --> 00:57:03,002
All right, baby, I'm ready for you.
983
00:57:08,008 --> 00:57:09,008
You okay?
984
00:57:09,426 --> 00:57:10,468
Not a problem.
985
00:57:10,552 --> 00:57:13,721
- Anderson, you liked that, didn't you?
- I did.
986
00:57:13,806 --> 00:57:16,057
Listen, Deeds, I got some good news.
987
00:57:16,141 --> 00:57:18,309
Those papers will be ready
to sign tomorrow.
988
00:57:18,393 --> 00:57:21,437
So you can relax knowing your uncle's
company's gonna be in good hands,
989
00:57:21,522 --> 00:57:24,273
and you can go home $40 billion richer.
990
00:57:24,358 --> 00:57:26,734
I actually was thinking about
maybe sticking around here
991
00:57:26,819 --> 00:57:28,820
- and going to some meetings with you.
- What?
992
00:57:31,740 --> 00:57:32,907
Fault!
993
00:57:33,033 --> 00:57:35,701
I figured I could learn, you know,
like this tennis thing.
994
00:57:39,373 --> 00:57:42,041
I swear to God, I'm not trying to do that.
995
00:57:43,669 --> 00:57:45,878
I don't got to sell my shares right away,
do I?
996
00:57:46,964 --> 00:57:50,466
Plus, I met this girl, Cedar.
I swear to God, I think she's the one.
997
00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:53,010
That's wonderful for you.
998
00:57:56,932 --> 00:57:58,474
That got you right in the throat, huh?
999
00:58:00,227 --> 00:58:02,895
Got to ask you, though, if it hits you,
is it my point or yours?
1000
00:58:03,564 --> 00:58:05,731
- Yours.
- Well, I'm winning then, I guess.
1001
00:58:20,372 --> 00:58:21,622
Sweet Jesus!
1002
00:58:22,457 --> 00:58:23,457
Who are you?
1003
00:58:24,918 --> 00:58:25,960
And what do you want to tell me?
1004
00:58:26,336 --> 00:58:29,088
I'm a junior producer at Inside Access.
1005
00:58:29,173 --> 00:58:33,217
And I have information that will help you
get Deeds out of town. Interested?
1006
00:58:33,635 --> 00:58:38,181
Very. Provided the information is good,
and you stop soaping your ass.
1007
00:58:42,269 --> 00:58:43,644
You know Deeds' girlfriend?
1008
00:58:43,937 --> 00:58:44,937
The school nurse.
1009
00:58:45,606 --> 00:58:46,939
Not quite.
1010
00:58:49,234 --> 00:58:52,987
Lucy, bring me the overnights.
JD will tell you where they are.
1011
00:58:53,071 --> 00:58:55,656
Hey, what the hell are you doing
in my chair?
1012
00:58:56,366 --> 00:58:57,783
Chuck Cedar.
1013
00:58:58,243 --> 00:59:00,745
I think you and I could help each other out,
Mr. McGrath.
1014
00:59:05,292 --> 00:59:06,709
You excited about this trip?
1015
00:59:06,793 --> 00:59:08,461
I'm so excited.
1016
00:59:09,129 --> 00:59:12,256
- Where are you taking me?
- I told you that's a surprise.
1017
00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:20,306
Well...
1018
00:59:25,979 --> 00:59:27,730
You got to be shitting me.
1019
00:59:27,814 --> 00:59:31,984
- Whoa! I never heard you curse before.
- I'm that excited!
1020
00:59:34,363 --> 00:59:35,780
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
1021
00:59:35,864 --> 00:59:40,534
All you Winchestertonfieldvillians,
recognize this little girl?
1022
00:59:43,288 --> 00:59:46,332
Hey, I'll give you a hint.
"I fell out of Boo Radley's apple tree,
1023
00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:48,334
"and my arm is killing me!"
1024
00:59:52,673 --> 00:59:54,674
Come on, it's little Pammy Dawson!
1025
00:59:56,677 --> 00:59:57,718
Hello.
1026
00:59:58,804 --> 01:00:00,513
You related to Bill Dawson?
1027
01:00:00,931 --> 01:00:03,683
Yes, he's my relative.
1028
01:00:04,434 --> 01:00:05,851
I think I remember you.
1029
01:00:06,937 --> 01:00:09,355
Did you used to have a kind of hump
on your back?
1030
01:00:10,357 --> 01:00:14,360
- Yes, that was me. I had a slight hump.
- Really?
1031
01:00:14,444 --> 01:00:16,279
This was no slight hump.
1032
01:00:16,363 --> 01:00:19,949
The girl I'm thinking of looked like
she had a damn beach ball on her back.
1033
01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:24,704
Okay, it was a huge hump,
and I'm a little sensitive about it.
1034
01:00:24,788 --> 01:00:28,165
Look, Martha, it's Quasimodo, all growed up.
1035
01:00:28,250 --> 01:00:31,502
How wonderful! I thought you died.
1036
01:00:31,586 --> 01:00:34,088
No! She actually became a school nurse.
1037
01:00:34,881 --> 01:00:35,881
You're a nurse?
1038
01:00:36,216 --> 01:00:38,175
- Yes.
- What should I do about this?
1039
01:00:45,934 --> 01:00:47,476
I would call Dr. Pepper.
1040
01:00:47,561 --> 01:00:48,561
Who?
1041
01:00:48,645 --> 01:00:52,732
It was so great seeing everybody again.
We're going to leave now.
1042
01:00:52,899 --> 01:00:54,066
Bye.
1043
01:00:55,736 --> 01:00:57,069
- Hi, mailman.
- Morning.
1044
01:00:57,154 --> 01:00:58,487
How you doing?
1045
01:01:01,950 --> 01:01:03,409
Oh, my God, there it is.
1046
01:01:03,910 --> 01:01:06,537
Blue shutters, red door, tire swing.
1047
01:01:06,621 --> 01:01:08,331
That's your house, isn't it?
1048
01:01:09,541 --> 01:01:10,833
Wouldn't you know it?
1049
01:01:11,752 --> 01:01:12,918
Come on.
1050
01:01:15,339 --> 01:01:16,339
Hey, how you guys doing?
1051
01:01:16,923 --> 01:01:18,215
You know who she is?
1052
01:01:19,593 --> 01:01:22,636
She actually used to live in this house
when she was a little girl.
1053
01:01:22,721 --> 01:01:23,679
It's true.
1054
01:01:23,764 --> 01:01:26,599
You live here and she used to live here.
You're practically cousins.
1055
01:01:27,642 --> 01:01:28,642
Wow!
1056
01:01:29,936 --> 01:01:31,687
So many memories.
1057
01:01:33,607 --> 01:01:34,940
Where to begin?
1058
01:01:35,776 --> 01:01:38,778
This is our fireplace
1059
01:01:38,862 --> 01:01:42,948
where my dad would build fires
out of wood.
1060
01:01:43,158 --> 01:01:46,869
And this is the dining room
where we would have our meals
1061
01:01:46,953 --> 01:01:48,120
made of food.
1062
01:01:48,789 --> 01:01:51,207
And this was my brother's room.
1063
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:54,085
My parents hated my brother.
1064
01:01:54,169 --> 01:01:57,755
My daddy built this house
with his bare hands six years ago.
1065
01:01:58,757 --> 01:02:00,466
Well, your daddy is a liar.
1066
01:02:01,468 --> 01:02:02,802
How come you...
1067
01:02:06,139 --> 01:02:08,974
He's choking. We should go.
1068
01:02:09,059 --> 01:02:10,684
- Help.
- What are you talking about?
1069
01:02:10,769 --> 01:02:13,229
- You're the nurse. Come on, help him.
- Save him!
1070
01:02:13,313 --> 01:02:15,689
- Stand back, kids.
- He's gonna die!
1071
01:02:16,316 --> 01:02:18,317
- Take him to the hospital!
- Smack it out of him!
1072
01:02:19,069 --> 01:02:21,612
- Save him!
- Get it out of him!
1073
01:02:21,696 --> 01:02:23,489
Save him, please!
1074
01:02:28,787 --> 01:02:31,080
- That was amazing.
- Thank you.
1075
01:02:31,498 --> 01:02:33,874
- I saved his life.
- Yeah.
1076
01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:35,876
You're my hero, Nurse Dawson.
1077
01:02:41,049 --> 01:02:42,633
Thank you, thank you.
1078
01:02:43,927 --> 01:02:46,137
- Good parking job, buddy.
- Thanks, Deeds.
1079
01:02:46,888 --> 01:02:48,431
Testing, testing.
1080
01:02:48,723 --> 01:02:51,058
I had such a wonderful time.
1081
01:02:51,143 --> 01:02:55,146
- Thank you for such a great day.
- Yeah.
1082
01:02:55,230 --> 01:02:59,066
- Thanks for showing me your town.
- I hope sometime to see your hometown.
1083
01:02:59,818 --> 01:03:02,528
Maybe someday this will be
my new hometown.
1084
01:03:03,655 --> 01:03:07,283
Deeds, there's something I have to tell you.
1085
01:03:07,367 --> 01:03:08,742
What's the matter?
1086
01:03:10,745 --> 01:03:11,745
What?
1087
01:03:13,290 --> 01:03:16,542
Go back to New Hampshire,
and enjoy being rich.
1088
01:03:17,294 --> 01:03:21,422
Just don't let anyone
hurt you anymore, okay?
1089
01:03:23,133 --> 01:03:24,216
Sucker.
1090
01:03:26,970 --> 01:03:27,970
Pam.
1091
01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:34,059
I made a card for you. It's kind of dumb.
1092
01:03:34,144 --> 01:03:38,105
I never worked on anything harder, though,
so don't laugh at me.
1093
01:03:39,858 --> 01:03:42,359
Remember we went to the restaurant
that first night,
1094
01:03:42,444 --> 01:03:43,903
and you ordered chicken parmesan?
1095
01:03:44,529 --> 01:03:46,489
So I drew you a plate.
1096
01:03:46,990 --> 01:03:49,450
There's the chicken and the cheese
1097
01:03:50,410 --> 01:03:53,454
and the linguini. That actually took me
a long time with the squigglies.
1098
01:03:55,081 --> 01:03:56,248
It's beautiful.
1099
01:03:56,583 --> 01:03:58,626
There's a poem inside for you.
1100
01:04:03,381 --> 01:04:06,133
"Hard to breathe, feels like floating
1101
01:04:07,135 --> 01:04:10,429
"So full of love, my heart's exploding
1102
01:04:12,432 --> 01:04:14,892
"Mouth is dry, hands are shaking
1103
01:04:16,102 --> 01:04:18,395
"My heart is yours for the taking
1104
01:04:20,106 --> 01:04:22,775
"Acting weird, not myself
1105
01:04:24,694 --> 01:04:28,113
"Dancing around like the Keebler Elf"
1106
01:04:28,698 --> 01:04:29,865
That was funny.
1107
01:04:32,118 --> 01:04:35,120
"Finally time for this poor schlub
1108
01:04:35,580 --> 01:04:38,457
"To know how it feels to fall in lub"
1109
01:04:39,626 --> 01:04:42,002
Couldn't think of anything else
that rhymes with "schlub."
1110
01:04:42,837 --> 01:04:44,505
"Rub" and "tub" didn't work.
1111
01:04:52,889 --> 01:04:53,889
Wow!
1112
01:04:54,516 --> 01:04:56,225
I'm sorry, Deeds.
1113
01:04:58,436 --> 01:05:02,982
- I'm really sorry.
- Don't be sorry, that was unbelievable.
1114
01:05:07,028 --> 01:05:10,906
Hi, Mrs. Finch and Atticus.
1115
01:05:11,825 --> 01:05:13,158
Sleep well.
1116
01:05:17,497 --> 01:05:20,332
- AI, I'm gonna walk home.
- Okay, Deeds.
1117
01:05:30,176 --> 01:05:32,177
I love New York!
1118
01:05:32,512 --> 01:05:34,054
Nobody cares!
1119
01:05:41,688 --> 01:05:43,188
I'm in love with him.
1120
01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:47,860
And I'm going to see him tonight,
and I'm telling him everything.
1121
01:05:49,529 --> 01:05:50,863
He'll probably punch you in the face.
1122
01:05:51,197 --> 01:05:52,615
I kind of hope he does.
1123
01:05:52,699 --> 01:05:55,200
Come on, Babe, snap out of it.
1124
01:05:55,285 --> 01:05:58,203
You really want to throw all this away
for a dipshit like that?
1125
01:05:58,872 --> 01:06:00,539
He's not a dipshit.
1126
01:06:00,624 --> 01:06:03,375
He's a goodhearted guy
who we think is a weirdo
1127
01:06:03,460 --> 01:06:07,212
because he doesn't share
our sense of ironic detachment.
1128
01:06:07,714 --> 01:06:11,383
- All this hip, snide, smart-alecky...
- Bullshit?
1129
01:06:11,718 --> 01:06:13,177
Yes, bullshit.
1130
01:06:13,803 --> 01:06:18,015
Well, in a few moments,
I'm gonna put on my Versace overcoat,
1131
01:06:18,099 --> 01:06:21,769
get into my Mercedes,
drive to my Fifth Avenue apartment,
1132
01:06:21,895 --> 01:06:25,356
and squeeze my girlfriend's big, fake boobs.
1133
01:06:25,899 --> 01:06:29,693
And that bullshit you're talking about
paid for all of it.
1134
01:06:30,403 --> 01:06:33,364
Good for you, Mac. But I'm still telling him.
1135
01:06:33,907 --> 01:06:34,948
Well.
1136
01:06:36,618 --> 01:06:38,744
Babe Bennett falls in love.
1137
01:06:39,954 --> 01:06:42,456
I'm happy for you. I am.
1138
01:06:43,708 --> 01:06:47,920
Gonna miss you, Babe. Something fierce.
1139
01:07:16,950 --> 01:07:18,200
You think she's gonna like this?
1140
01:07:19,202 --> 01:07:20,244
All right.
1141
01:07:20,328 --> 01:07:23,455
Chicken parmesan? Terrific, thank you.
1142
01:07:24,332 --> 01:07:25,624
Let's hear it.
1143
01:07:28,878 --> 01:07:31,505
- She gonna like that, Mr. Deeds.
- Okay.
1144
01:07:32,340 --> 01:07:34,967
- Emilio, it looks beautiful.
- Thank you.
1145
01:07:35,301 --> 01:07:36,301
Okay.
1146
01:07:39,013 --> 01:07:41,890
Think these roses might be a little too high.
I won't be able to see her.
1147
01:07:41,975 --> 01:07:43,642
- Do we have anything smaller?
- Yes, sir.
1148
01:07:44,310 --> 01:07:45,310
Okay.
1149
01:07:46,062 --> 01:07:47,062
Byron?
1150
01:07:47,939 --> 01:07:49,064
That's terrific.
1151
01:07:49,816 --> 01:07:52,109
- Would you mind sitting down for a second?
- Yes, sir.
1152
01:07:54,863 --> 01:07:56,822
Say something to me.
Pretend that you're her.
1153
01:07:57,115 --> 01:07:58,115
Me, sir?
1154
01:07:58,366 --> 01:07:59,366
Please.
1155
01:08:00,201 --> 01:08:01,410
Well.
1156
01:08:02,495 --> 01:08:05,831
It's nice of you to have invited me
to dine with you this evening.
1157
01:08:06,207 --> 01:08:07,499
It's my pleasure.
1158
01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:10,335
Actually, you're a little too tall.
Can you slink down?
1159
01:08:12,464 --> 01:08:13,422
Like this?
1160
01:08:13,506 --> 01:08:14,673
That's good.
1161
01:08:15,049 --> 01:08:18,510
This is one of the best dates
I've ever been on.
1162
01:08:19,679 --> 01:08:21,847
You make me feel very special.
1163
01:08:22,515 --> 01:08:25,017
You make me feel very special, too.
1164
01:08:25,393 --> 01:08:27,686
That's why I got this for you.
1165
01:08:28,146 --> 01:08:29,146
Okay, could you lean forward?
1166
01:08:34,652 --> 01:08:36,236
I really like you a lot.
1167
01:08:36,321 --> 01:08:37,654
I like you, too.
1168
01:08:38,031 --> 01:08:41,575
I can't stop thinking about you.
1169
01:08:42,035 --> 01:08:43,327
Please let me touch your feet.
1170
01:08:44,370 --> 01:08:47,039
Okay, this is getting weird.
You can stand up now.
1171
01:08:50,293 --> 01:08:51,293
Deeds!
1172
01:08:51,586 --> 01:08:52,628
Fellows!
1173
01:08:53,213 --> 01:08:55,672
We wanted to come by
and wish you the best on your big night.
1174
01:08:55,757 --> 01:08:59,718
Thanks a lot. I'm so nervous.
I never asked anybody to marry me before.
1175
01:09:00,053 --> 01:09:02,638
It's 7:30, time for Inside Access.
1176
01:09:02,722 --> 01:09:05,224
We're not in for any more
nasty surprises, are we?
1177
01:09:05,683 --> 01:09:09,144
I don't think so. I haven't done
anything stupid all day. I've been here.
1178
01:09:09,229 --> 01:09:13,607
Let's see what kind of lame show they put on
when they don't have Deeds to pick on.
1179
01:09:13,691 --> 01:09:14,691
Excuse me!
1180
01:09:15,819 --> 01:09:18,028
Could you put on Channel 8, please?
1181
01:09:18,404 --> 01:09:19,655
You got it.
1182
01:09:22,116 --> 01:09:25,077
Welcome to Inside Access. I'm Mac McGrath.
1183
01:09:25,537 --> 01:09:29,331
All of us here at IA take pride
in our ability to handle
1184
01:09:29,415 --> 01:09:33,460
- every story with sensitivity and empathy...
- Okay, pal.
1185
01:09:33,545 --> 01:09:35,879
...while maintaining
an appropriate journalistic distance.
1186
01:09:35,964 --> 01:09:40,509
But what happens when a reporter
becomes part of what she's reporting?
1187
01:09:40,593 --> 01:09:44,638
What happens when a journalist
falls in love with an idiot?
1188
01:09:45,682 --> 01:09:48,350
That's Longfellow Deeds with Pam Dawson.
1189
01:09:48,434 --> 01:09:50,602
- I can't believe they dragged her in this.
- 28-year-old school nurse
1190
01:09:50,687 --> 01:09:54,064
who recently moved to New York City
from Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa.
1191
01:09:54,274 --> 01:09:59,820
But wait. Doesn't Pam Dawson bear
a striking resemblance to Babe Bennett,
1192
01:09:59,904 --> 01:10:02,364
a producerhere at Inside Access?
1193
01:10:02,448 --> 01:10:05,117
In fact, the two are one and the same.
1194
01:10:05,201 --> 01:10:08,871
Hey, we're gonna wire your apartment
with state-of-the-art surveillance video.
1195
01:10:09,497 --> 01:10:10,789
Sounds good.
1196
01:10:11,666 --> 01:10:12,791
Deeds.
1197
01:10:19,799 --> 01:10:22,968
I came here to try to explain.
1198
01:10:52,081 --> 01:10:54,625
I'm the biggest sucker in the world, fellows.
1199
01:10:55,335 --> 01:10:56,835
This town can be brutal.
1200
01:10:57,670 --> 01:10:59,129
I don't belong here.
1201
01:10:59,213 --> 01:11:01,840
I can't run the company,
I can't even run my own damn life.
1202
01:11:01,966 --> 01:11:04,551
Well, sure you can.
The good news is the papers are ready.
1203
01:11:04,636 --> 01:11:08,138
So once you sign them, we'll get our stock,
and you'll get your $40 billion.
1204
01:11:08,222 --> 01:11:11,600
I don't want that money.
Just give it to a charity.
1205
01:11:11,684 --> 01:11:12,893
What's a good charity?
1206
01:11:12,977 --> 01:11:15,437
The United Negro College Fund?
1207
01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:17,522
Okay, give it to those guys.
1208
01:11:23,529 --> 01:11:26,949
Can we give you a ride to the airport?
The company chopper will take you home.
1209
01:11:27,033 --> 01:11:29,993
Thanks, anyway. I'll be all right on my own.
1210
01:11:30,787 --> 01:11:33,872
- Nice meeting you all.
- Nice meeting you, Deeds.
1211
01:11:37,210 --> 01:11:38,418
Goodbye!
1212
01:11:40,213 --> 01:11:41,254
Goodbye.
1213
01:12:25,925 --> 01:12:29,428
Not right. It's not right.
1214
01:12:54,412 --> 01:12:55,620
Hi.
1215
01:12:56,289 --> 01:12:59,708
- You must be Jan. My name is...
- I know who you are.
1216
01:13:00,543 --> 01:13:04,671
Wham-bam Dawson.
AKA Little Miss Slut-Slut.
1217
01:13:06,090 --> 01:13:08,133
Okay, I deserve that.
1218
01:13:08,217 --> 01:13:10,052
Do you have any idea
how much you hurt him?
1219
01:13:10,762 --> 01:13:12,637
You're not getting anywhere near that boy.
1220
01:13:12,972 --> 01:13:16,725
I have to find him,
and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
1221
01:13:18,603 --> 01:13:20,645
There's a lot I can do to stop you.
1222
01:13:20,730 --> 01:13:23,231
He needs to know how bad I feel.
1223
01:13:23,316 --> 01:13:25,400
And that I would go to the end of the earth.
1224
01:13:25,485 --> 01:13:29,154
I would do anything,
anything to take back what I did to him.
1225
01:13:29,822 --> 01:13:33,533
I'm sorry, all I heard was,
"Blah, blah, blah, I'm a dirty tramp."
1226
01:13:34,994 --> 01:13:36,161
Tell you what.
1227
01:13:36,496 --> 01:13:38,121
You get by me,
1228
01:13:39,624 --> 01:13:41,291
I'll tell you where he is.
1229
01:13:47,465 --> 01:13:48,465
Feeling crazy!
1230
01:13:50,176 --> 01:13:52,803
- Okay.
- Come to Mama.
1231
01:13:59,435 --> 01:14:01,770
I was a rodeo clown for six years.
1232
01:14:01,854 --> 01:14:03,688
You're gonna have to
step it up a notch, shorty.
1233
01:14:04,148 --> 01:14:05,357
You mean like this?
1234
01:14:10,071 --> 01:14:13,240
Where were you kicking?
I ain't got no balls, dummy!
1235
01:14:15,701 --> 01:14:17,786
- Please. Put me down!
- You got it!
1236
01:14:22,750 --> 01:14:26,044
- Just tell me where Deeds is.
- Bring your bony ass over here.
1237
01:14:27,255 --> 01:14:30,924
I want to cut you
into eight slices of bitcheroni.
1238
01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:46,398
Are you all right?
1239
01:14:47,441 --> 01:14:49,818
Good kick, honey. Good kick.
1240
01:14:53,573 --> 01:14:54,948
Crazy Eyes!
1241
01:15:02,165 --> 01:15:03,915
- All right.
- Here you go.
1242
01:15:04,417 --> 01:15:06,543
Peanut butter and gumballs. Nice combo.
1243
01:15:07,086 --> 01:15:08,336
Don't worry about what happened.
1244
01:15:08,546 --> 01:15:10,172
Time heals all things.
1245
01:15:11,591 --> 01:15:13,133
Except these crazy eyes.
1246
01:15:13,718 --> 01:15:15,927
Well, it's good to be home.
I know that much.
1247
01:15:16,637 --> 01:15:19,681
I wasn't talking to you, Deeds.
I was talking to that squirrel over there.
1248
01:15:23,019 --> 01:15:25,187
Although it is a shame
about that Cedar fellow
1249
01:15:25,271 --> 01:15:26,438
tearing apart your uncle's company,
1250
01:15:26,564 --> 01:15:29,774
- and firing all those nice people.
- Where'd you hear that?
1251
01:15:29,859 --> 01:15:31,818
I watch the stock market channel all the time.
1252
01:15:32,612 --> 01:15:36,615
I just watch 'cause I suspect that anchorman
of being an evil leprechaun.
1253
01:15:36,699 --> 01:15:39,367
He can bullshit everybody else,
but he ain't fooling me.
1254
01:15:43,831 --> 01:15:46,208
There it is. Okay.
1255
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:55,800
Somebody help me!
1256
01:15:56,177 --> 01:15:57,177
Help!
1257
01:16:02,975 --> 01:16:04,809
Deeds! Help!
1258
01:16:06,479 --> 01:16:07,479
Deeds!
1259
01:16:07,813 --> 01:16:09,272
Help! Oh, God!
1260
01:16:09,649 --> 01:16:10,857
Deeds!
1261
01:16:21,619 --> 01:16:22,702
Oh, my God!
1262
01:16:23,496 --> 01:16:26,665
Deeds! Deeds!
1263
01:16:32,255 --> 01:16:34,589
Where do you got the camera hidden,
in the woods?
1264
01:16:34,674 --> 01:16:35,924
No camera.
1265
01:16:36,008 --> 01:16:38,635
I'm so cold. Please!
1266
01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:40,595
You gonna get mugged in there, too?
1267
01:16:40,680 --> 01:16:43,598
I'm so sorry.
1268
01:16:44,308 --> 01:16:47,352
I really love you.
1269
01:16:48,521 --> 01:16:49,604
Bullshit!
1270
01:16:55,319 --> 01:16:59,698
Hey.
1271
01:17:15,381 --> 01:17:16,756
I'm coming!
1272
01:17:19,051 --> 01:17:21,553
Go down! Go down!
1273
01:17:21,846 --> 01:17:23,680
Here comes the black foot.
1274
01:17:25,391 --> 01:17:26,558
No!
1275
01:17:30,521 --> 01:17:32,188
I know it's gross, but grab it.
1276
01:17:34,900 --> 01:17:35,900
Okay.
1277
01:17:37,236 --> 01:17:39,321
I got you. I got you.
1278
01:17:39,739 --> 01:17:44,409
- Oh, God, your foot. It's disgusting!
- I know, I know. Come here.
1279
01:17:44,994 --> 01:17:47,620
Come on, you okay? You okay?
1280
01:17:48,331 --> 01:17:49,581
I think so.
1281
01:17:53,044 --> 01:17:55,628
You didn't really fall out of an apple tree,
did you?
1282
01:17:57,923 --> 01:17:58,923
No.
1283
01:18:01,510 --> 01:18:03,053
But I really love you.
1284
01:18:05,097 --> 01:18:07,265
I don't even know who you are.
1285
01:18:08,184 --> 01:18:09,559
I'm sorry.
1286
01:18:36,212 --> 01:18:38,296
I am so sorry.
1287
01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:50,517
A company in tatters. Preston Blake's
great legacy gone to the highest bidder.
1288
01:18:50,768 --> 01:18:52,685
The shocking announcement
from Chuck Cedar today
1289
01:18:52,770 --> 01:18:54,437
confirmed that Blake Media
1290
01:18:54,522 --> 01:18:57,649
will be stripped down
and sold off piece by piece.
1291
01:18:57,733 --> 01:19:00,902
The only man who could stand up
to Mr. Cedar and save the company,
1292
01:19:00,986 --> 01:19:06,032
Longfellow Deeds, has apparently
given up his voting rights and left the city.
1293
01:19:06,117 --> 01:19:08,576
The sale is expected to pass
with unanimous consent
1294
01:19:08,661 --> 01:19:13,039
at the annual stockholders' meeting
here in New York tomorrow afternoon.
1295
01:19:13,124 --> 01:19:16,835
Sources indicate that virtually
all of Blake's 50,000 employees
1296
01:19:16,919 --> 01:19:18,837
are likely to lose theirjobs.
1297
01:19:19,422 --> 01:19:21,506
Hey, wait a minute. I'm a Blake employee.
1298
01:19:22,216 --> 01:19:25,009
Holy shit! This sucks.
1299
01:19:26,345 --> 01:19:29,931
Ladies and gentlemen,
the bottom line is that this divestiture
1300
01:19:30,015 --> 01:19:35,019
will result in every shareholder,
all of you and myself included,
1301
01:19:35,479 --> 01:19:38,523
getting a substantial premium
for our shares.
1302
01:19:40,234 --> 01:19:43,778
But before we vote, the company bylaws
require me to open the floor
1303
01:19:43,863 --> 01:19:47,657
to shareholders for statements
either for or against this buyout plan.
1304
01:19:48,075 --> 01:19:50,493
Does anyone wish to make a statement?
1305
01:19:50,578 --> 01:19:54,289
Dismantling this company
would be an insult to a great man.
1306
01:19:54,957 --> 01:19:56,040
You scared me.
1307
01:19:56,542 --> 01:20:00,128
It is an unspeakable outrage,
and it cannot be allowed to happen.
1308
01:20:04,550 --> 01:20:05,675
Excuse me.
1309
01:20:05,759 --> 01:20:06,759
I got a statement.
1310
01:20:09,555 --> 01:20:11,139
Longfellow Deeds.
1311
01:20:11,223 --> 01:20:14,642
Unfortunately, since you sold me
your 300 million shares,
1312
01:20:14,727 --> 01:20:16,227
you have no right to speak at this meeting.
1313
01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:20,398
Well, unfortunately for you, I bought
one share of Blake Media this morning.
1314
01:20:20,608 --> 01:20:23,651
You told me every stockholder
has a say in this company.
1315
01:20:23,736 --> 01:20:24,819
Even the little guy.
1316
01:20:27,698 --> 01:20:29,240
You've got two minutes, Deeds,
but just remember,
1317
01:20:29,325 --> 01:20:31,284
I now control 49% of this company.
1318
01:20:31,368 --> 01:20:36,498
So you're gonna have to persuade just
about everyone else to start hating money.
1319
01:20:44,673 --> 01:20:46,883
Hello, everybody. I'm Deeds.
1320
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:50,261
For a little while,
I was a big part of this company.
1321
01:20:51,472 --> 01:20:53,765
I was wicked rich and powerful.
1322
01:20:54,517 --> 01:20:56,935
Now, being rich and powerful
isn't a bad thing.
1323
01:20:58,395 --> 01:21:01,606
It looks like the Monopoly guy over there
is pretty darned psyched about it.
1324
01:21:03,275 --> 01:21:06,236
But the problem is
what can happen when you decide
1325
01:21:06,320 --> 01:21:10,823
that you would do absolutely anything
to become rich and powerful.
1326
01:21:10,908 --> 01:21:13,493
I don't know who licked
the red off your lollipop today, son,
1327
01:21:13,577 --> 01:21:16,329
but you are preaching to the wrong choir.
1328
01:21:16,413 --> 01:21:18,540
All I'm saying is, when you were kids,
1329
01:21:18,624 --> 01:21:22,043
did you dream
about becoming a savvy investor one day
1330
01:21:22,127 --> 01:21:24,420
who would think with his wallet
instead of his heart?
1331
01:21:26,298 --> 01:21:29,968
Come on, I know I didn't.
I wanted to be a fireman.
1332
01:21:31,011 --> 01:21:34,722
I wanted to be the guy everybody called on
if they were in trouble.
1333
01:21:34,807 --> 01:21:36,432
I wanted to help people,
1334
01:21:36,517 --> 01:21:39,477
and yeah, I wanted to slide down
those wicked awesome poles.
1335
01:21:41,021 --> 01:21:44,440
But money,
that was the last thing I thought about.
1336
01:21:45,484 --> 01:21:48,528
What about you, sir?
Did you want to be a fireman?
1337
01:21:48,612 --> 01:21:49,946
No, I did not.
1338
01:21:51,532 --> 01:21:53,449
Truth be told, I wanted to be a veterinarian.
1339
01:21:53,742 --> 01:21:56,202
Cool. Why would you want to do that?
1340
01:21:57,204 --> 01:21:58,329
I wanted to help sick animals.
1341
01:21:58,664 --> 01:21:59,747
And what do you do now?
1342
01:22:00,499 --> 01:22:02,500
I own a chain of slaughterhouses.
1343
01:22:02,918 --> 01:22:05,086
Okay. You kind of went the other way
on that one, didn't you?
1344
01:22:06,880 --> 01:22:08,673
Okay. In the back. Come on.
1345
01:22:09,008 --> 01:22:10,383
Tell me what you wanted to be.
1346
01:22:10,467 --> 01:22:12,677
I wanted to be a magician.
1347
01:22:14,305 --> 01:22:15,305
And what do you do now?
1348
01:22:16,098 --> 01:22:18,516
I operate a pornographic website.
1349
01:22:19,101 --> 01:22:23,187
That makes people happy also, I guess.
But kind of in a grosser way.
1350
01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:26,774
- Who else?
- I wanted to be a senator.
1351
01:22:27,359 --> 01:22:28,526
I wanted to be a florist.
1352
01:22:28,652 --> 01:22:31,112
International House Pancake.
1353
01:22:31,614 --> 01:22:33,364
I wanted to be a man.
1354
01:22:35,451 --> 01:22:37,327
That explains a lot.
1355
01:22:37,911 --> 01:22:40,496
I wanted to be a ping-pong champion.
1356
01:22:43,042 --> 01:22:46,294
But you're not those things
you wanted to be, are you?
1357
01:22:46,378 --> 01:22:50,173
Everybody made a compromise,
then another compromise, and now,
1358
01:22:50,257 --> 01:22:52,800
you're about to put 50,000 people
out of work
1359
01:22:52,885 --> 01:22:54,969
just to make a quick buck? Come on.
1360
01:22:55,679 --> 01:22:58,931
I bet if we ran into the sixth grade versions
of ourselves right now,
1361
01:22:59,016 --> 01:23:02,060
they would kick our asses all over the place,
and put Bubble Yum in our hair
1362
01:23:02,144 --> 01:23:03,645
for even thinking about doing this.
1363
01:23:06,398 --> 01:23:09,317
He's right.
I would've beat my greedy ass red.
1364
01:23:09,401 --> 01:23:11,486
I would've thrown myself off
the merry-go-round.
1365
01:23:11,570 --> 01:23:15,490
I would've tied myself naked to a chair
and burned myself with lit cigarettes.
1366
01:23:17,534 --> 01:23:20,495
Did anybody here dream
about becoming a psychiatrist?
1367
01:23:20,579 --> 01:23:22,163
Just kidding, pal.
1368
01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:25,667
There's still hope for the kids
inside of all of us.
1369
01:23:25,751 --> 01:23:28,419
Please don't break up my uncle's company.
1370
01:23:30,589 --> 01:23:31,923
I always wanted to do that.
1371
01:23:43,060 --> 01:23:44,060
Well...
1372
01:23:45,354 --> 01:23:46,771
That was very touching, Deeds.
1373
01:23:47,940 --> 01:23:50,191
It appears this divestiture has been defeated.
1374
01:23:50,984 --> 01:23:52,610
Unless I'm forgetting something.
1375
01:23:54,279 --> 01:23:55,863
My 300 million votes
1376
01:23:55,948 --> 01:23:59,534
plus the five million votes I control
as proxy for the foreign investors.
1377
01:23:59,868 --> 01:24:02,120
So which way should I vote my 51%?
1378
01:24:03,997 --> 01:24:05,248
I vote aye.
1379
01:24:05,708 --> 01:24:08,126
305 million times.
1380
01:24:09,169 --> 01:24:10,253
The ayes have it.
1381
01:24:10,546 --> 01:24:13,005
And Blake Media is no more.
1382
01:24:13,090 --> 01:24:14,966
Not so fast, Chuck.
1383
01:24:16,135 --> 01:24:19,429
Too bad for you, when I was a kid,
I wanted to be a good reporter.
1384
01:24:19,513 --> 01:24:22,306
Miss Bennett,
I wasn't aware that you were a stockholder.
1385
01:24:22,391 --> 01:24:24,559
There's a couple things you're not aware of.
1386
01:24:24,643 --> 01:24:26,728
Like how to tweeze your eyebrows,
for instance.
1387
01:24:27,688 --> 01:24:32,316
Also, when Deeds gave away his fortune,
he gave away something that wasn't his.
1388
01:24:33,652 --> 01:24:34,694
What are you talking about?
1389
01:24:34,778 --> 01:24:38,156
I have here the diary of Preston Blake.
1390
01:24:40,743 --> 01:24:42,785
I stole it and read it.
Please don't be mad at me.
1391
01:24:42,870 --> 01:24:45,455
I did it for good reasons, I promise.
1392
01:24:46,165 --> 01:24:49,208
I would like to read a passage
from Mr. Blake's diary
1393
01:24:49,293 --> 01:24:51,836
dated April 12, 1957.
1394
01:24:52,880 --> 01:24:55,047
"I am a volcano of lust."
1395
01:24:55,299 --> 01:24:58,968
I've gotten this far in business
by following my heart.
1396
01:24:59,553 --> 01:25:02,805
And I must follow it now in love.
1397
01:25:04,850 --> 01:25:08,352
If she just gives me a sign, an opening.
1398
01:25:08,812 --> 01:25:11,355
Want me to wipe the leaves
on your ficus tree, Mr. Blake?
1399
01:25:13,275 --> 01:25:15,026
You can call me Preston.
1400
01:25:16,987 --> 01:25:20,865
Want me to wipe the leaves
on your ficus tree, Preston?
1401
01:25:22,451 --> 01:25:26,579
Yes.
1402
01:25:27,498 --> 01:25:28,498
Yes!
1403
01:25:29,666 --> 01:25:31,334
Who was this mystery woman?
1404
01:25:31,877 --> 01:25:36,506
I have here the Blake Media ledger
sign-in book from April, 1957.
1405
01:25:37,132 --> 01:25:42,220
On the night of the 12th, there was only one
woman working on Preston Blake's floor.
1406
01:25:42,513 --> 01:25:46,974
Sadly, nine months later, she died,
giving birth to a son.
1407
01:25:47,434 --> 01:25:48,935
A son born
1408
01:25:49,394 --> 01:25:52,522
January 23, 1958.
1409
01:25:53,065 --> 01:25:54,440
That is my birthday.
1410
01:25:54,733 --> 01:25:56,901
To Miss Consuela Lopez.
1411
01:25:57,528 --> 01:25:58,820
That is my mother.
1412
01:25:59,071 --> 01:26:01,864
And the rightful heir to $40 billion!
1413
01:26:02,366 --> 01:26:03,825
That is my money?
1414
01:26:03,992 --> 01:26:06,494
A simple DNA test will show
1415
01:26:06,578 --> 01:26:10,581
that Emilio Lopez is the majority
stockholder to Blake Media.
1416
01:26:10,916 --> 01:26:11,958
It is my money!
1417
01:26:12,042 --> 01:26:13,042
That's your money!
1418
01:26:13,126 --> 01:26:14,669
That is my money!
1419
01:26:16,380 --> 01:26:17,880
Way to go, Emilio!
1420
01:26:17,965 --> 01:26:20,383
I will do good things,
good things for everyone.
1421
01:26:21,009 --> 01:26:23,135
Free flamenco lessons for all.
1422
01:26:23,220 --> 01:26:25,388
People, people! Please!
1423
01:26:25,472 --> 01:26:26,681
That is my money.
1424
01:26:26,765 --> 01:26:29,100
Don't be misled. These are all lies.
1425
01:26:29,351 --> 01:26:30,393
Mr. Cedar.
1426
01:26:31,478 --> 01:26:32,645
You are fired.
1427
01:26:33,105 --> 01:26:34,856
You can't fire me!
1428
01:26:35,274 --> 01:26:36,774
I'm in control!
1429
01:26:37,276 --> 01:26:38,985
Get your hands off me! I'm Chuck Cedar!
1430
01:26:39,778 --> 01:26:41,362
At the lake, when you saved my life,
1431
01:26:41,446 --> 01:26:43,906
which I never got a chance
to properly thank you for...
1432
01:26:43,991 --> 01:26:46,367
- You're welcome.
- You said that you didn't know who I was.
1433
01:26:46,451 --> 01:26:49,161
And it made me realize
I don't know who I am.
1434
01:26:49,246 --> 01:26:52,999
So I started working on it,
and here's what I got so far.
1435
01:26:53,083 --> 01:26:56,711
My name is Babe Bennett.
I grew up in Syosset, Long Island.
1436
01:26:56,795 --> 01:27:00,590
I have brown eyes and I don't know
what my natural hair color is anymore.
1437
01:27:01,174 --> 01:27:04,135
When I was in fifth grade,
I got a crush on Walter Cronkite.
1438
01:27:04,219 --> 01:27:07,555
And I really did have that Holly Hobbie
notebook I was telling you about.
1439
01:27:07,973 --> 01:27:12,310
I love Bruce Springsteen, Almond ROCA,
and Abbott and Costello movies.
1440
01:27:12,394 --> 01:27:14,478
I don't like licorice or my ankles.
1441
01:27:15,063 --> 01:27:18,399
More importantly,
I know that I messed up real bad.
1442
01:27:18,483 --> 01:27:21,319
And I'd be willing to spend
the rest of my life
1443
01:27:21,403 --> 01:27:23,446
begging you to give me another chance
1444
01:27:23,906 --> 01:27:27,158
because I am so deeply in love with you,
1445
01:27:27,242 --> 01:27:30,661
and I know that it's definitely
that forever kind of love...
1446
01:27:30,746 --> 01:27:31,787
You're crazy.
1447
01:27:34,499 --> 01:27:36,167
You have beautiful ankles.
1448
01:27:46,511 --> 01:27:47,970
Let's go home.
1449
01:27:50,682 --> 01:27:53,267
You're fired! You! You!
1450
01:27:53,685 --> 01:27:56,020
You, sir. You are definitely fired.
1451
01:27:56,772 --> 01:28:01,943
I'd like to stay. I think I can really do
some good if I just got another chance.
1452
01:28:05,530 --> 01:28:09,659
Not fired. But tomorrow morning,
you let me change your socks.
1453
01:28:11,036 --> 01:28:12,036
Okay.
1454
01:28:13,372 --> 01:28:16,499
And you, Long-Long-Longfellow,
1455
01:28:16,875 --> 01:28:20,169
you are the one who made all this possible
1456
01:28:20,253 --> 01:28:23,255
with your beautiful words
and your beautiful spirit.
1457
01:28:23,548 --> 01:28:26,509
And Miss Bennett
with her beautiful research.
1458
01:28:26,885 --> 01:28:28,344
How can I thank you?
1459
01:28:28,762 --> 01:28:32,056
All I want is your friendship, Emilio.
You're a good man.
1460
01:28:33,141 --> 01:28:34,684
I'll miss you.
1461
01:28:35,686 --> 01:28:36,686
Deeds!
1462
01:28:38,063 --> 01:28:39,814
How about $1 billion?
1463
01:28:39,898 --> 01:28:41,023
All right.
1464
01:28:41,108 --> 01:28:42,108
Done.
1465
01:28:55,372 --> 01:28:56,789
Holy jeez!
1466
01:28:57,124 --> 01:28:58,332
I can't believe it!
1467
01:28:59,001 --> 01:29:01,544
- What's that, Deedsy?
- It's a letter from Hallmark.
1468
01:29:01,628 --> 01:29:03,796
They're actually going
to buy one of my cards.
1469
01:29:03,880 --> 01:29:06,173
Oh, my gosh! Which one?
1470
01:29:06,258 --> 01:29:08,426
The one I wrote for you,
do you remember it?
1471
01:29:09,011 --> 01:29:10,845
Do I remember?
1472
01:29:10,929 --> 01:29:14,056
"Hard to breathe, feels like floating
1473
01:29:14,141 --> 01:29:16,934
"So full of love, my heart's exploding
1474
01:29:17,185 --> 01:29:20,354
"Mouth is dry, hands are shaking
1475
01:29:20,439 --> 01:29:23,274
"My heart is yours for the taking
1476
01:29:23,358 --> 01:29:25,943
"Acting weird, not myself
1477
01:29:26,028 --> 01:29:28,863
"Dancing around like the Keebler Elf
1478
01:29:28,947 --> 01:29:32,366
"Finally time for this poor schlub
1479
01:29:33,702 --> 01:29:37,204
"To know how it feels to fall in lub"
1480
01:29:37,289 --> 01:29:39,123
I'm so proud of you.
1481
01:29:44,796 --> 01:29:47,590
Can you believe Deeds bought us all these?
1482
01:29:52,137 --> 01:29:53,971
Damn, these things are fast!
1483
01:29:58,351 --> 01:30:01,812
I'm okay!
116595