All language subtitles for MacGyver - 206 - Jack of Lies

Some things in life just aren't fair.

This is one of them.

I suppose I could always call
the police.

Or not.

I don't believe this. Bedroom stripped,
closet cleaned out.

"Kidnapped."

A thief with a sense of humour.

"Dear Mac, if you ever want
to see your fridge alive,

meet me at the west end
of the airport, hangar 13.

Come alone, or the fridge fries."

Some folks might see the humour
in something like this.

I don't happen to be one.

But I knew someone who would:

Jack Dalton.

I hadn't seen Jack Dalton
in almost five years.

He, Mike Forrester and I had
been like the Three Musketeers.

After college, we traipsed
all over Europe together.

You had to give Jack one thing:

He knew how to have fun.

High-adventure, globe-trotting,
no-holds-barred fun.

Tonight it started with looting
my apartment.

And this very convenient open door
told me it wasn't gonna stop there.

Jack Dalton.

Rogue, adventurer, liar, thief.

And there was living proof.

My hockey jersey.

It was starting to look to me like
maybe Jack Dalton had a plan.

Well, so did I.

One might ask how I could be so sure
this was the work of Jack Dalton.

Well, sometimes you just know.

Jack.

Come on, I know it's you.

My stuff.

Jack!

MacGyver, I'm flattered. You came.

I had a choice?

Yo, Mac, where you going?

You're not steamed, are you?
Come on, it was a joke.

First, you're gonna come down here
so I can punch you in the nose.

Then you're gonna Ioad up
all my stuff

and take it back to my place.
You got that?

AII right, I'm sorry. If that's
what you want, I'II put it all back.

- Good.
- Hey, Mac, please, don't go.

Where you going? Mac!
I'm begging you. Mac!

Jack!

JACK

You should see your face.

Priceless. Oh, Mac,
you haven't changed. Not a bit.

- Neither have you, Jack.
- Yeah? Thanks.

It wasn't a compliment.

Hey, Mac,
you gotta cut me down. Mac!

Mac, cut me down!

Come on, MacGyver,
my head's about to explode here.

I knew you wouldn't
Ieave me hanging.

You can call me "amigo" anytime.

If there's ever anything I can do
for you, just Iet me know, amigo.

Now, easy, easy.
Hey, watch my head!

Just Iike the tocotines.

In Papantla. Remember, Mac?

When you and Mike and I were
at the festival of Corpus Christi?

AIways wanted to try that.

- What a rush.
- Jack, what do you want?

Right to the point, huh? Good.
We can reminisce Iater. I wanna to talk.

I do have a phone.
At Ieast I used to.

Yeah, but I couldn't be sure
you'd come. I need a favour.

- You know how to butter a guy up.
- Look, I got my own company now.

Jack Dalton, sole proprietor,
FIy-by-Night air freight, at your service.

The official airline for slugs, scum and
all manner of vermin. Anyway, I was...

...shall we say, transporting
some very valuable orchids.

Shall we say smuggling?

That's an ugly word, Mac.

But, hey, at 1,000 bucks a plant,
I can Iive with it.

Anyway, you know me.
What do I know about orchids?

Maybe how to spell it.
So I needed expert advice. Botanists.

So where does the favour come in?

A Iittle rescue mission
to save the botanists.

- In Dinoto.
- Dinoto?

As in Central America, Dinoto?

- Yeah. Come on, Mac.
- Yeah.

We can take my plane,
be there in no time. Think about it.

- Adventure. Danger. It'II be fun.
- Jack!

What have these botanists done?

Americans are being snatched
all over the world, Mac.

I mean, you know how it is
with these crazies.

You're Iying, Jack. About what, I don't
know, but you're hiding something.

That hurts me, Mac.
How can you say that?

Your eye. It still twitches
when you're Iying.

Look, I gotta do it, Mac.
It's my fault they're there.

Mac, please, a favour for a friend.
I'm begging you.

Why should I believe you?

You've never been straight
about anything in your whole Iife.

And whatever happened to that
Iooking-out-for-number-one,

cut-your-Iosses-and-get-out-quick
Jack Dalton we all knew and Ioved?

- He's changed.
- Yeah. Wish I could believe that.

I'm dying, Mac.

- What?
- I'm dying.

No joke?

No joke.

And I just wanna do one thing right
before I do.

AII I said, Mac,
was there was a remote chance

that there's an ounce of truth
to his story. That's all.

Our sources do tell us that there's
an American botanist in the country.

So you're telling me
some botanists are missing?

Mac, what makes you think
this isn't one of Jack's lies?

I don't know, Pete.
I think he's telling the truth this time.

Just a feeling.

Well, I don't Iike it. The whole thing
creaks. Makes me nervous.

Careful, Pete, you're on a diet.

You know how you like to eat
when you're nervous.

Listen, Mac, you know there is no way
the Foundation can get involved in this,

but if there's anything that I can do
unofficially, call me, will you?

Thank you for using the telephone.
Your three minutes are up.

So, what's the deal? Papa Thornton
say you can come out and play?

Yeah.

Good. Now we go to plane, kemosabe.
You follow.

I know I said I was gonna slug him.

But how do you hit a kid?

Shouldn't we be using charts
or something?

Charts.
Shouldn't we be using charts?

What's the name
on the plane, Mac?

- FIy-by-Night.
- Exactly.

Now, relax. I know what I'm doing.

- Charts?
- Strongbox.

Hey, you found the pictures.

Where was that one taken again?

Martinique.

That was just before we went diving
off the coral reef.

Oh, right. That was the day we saw
that shark feeding frenzy. Remember?

Remember? You started it.

That was the same day
I cut my air hose on the coral.

You saved my Iife.

Hey, that's what buddies are for.
What else you got there?

It's you, me and Mike in Barbados.

You, me and Mike in Singapore.

You, me and Mike in Fresno.

- Those were good times.
- Yep.

So you seen Mike any Iately? You
always were a Iittle warm for her form.

Uh, it's been about four years.

Besides, you were the one
that was always proposing to her.

Yeah, and she'd have said yes if she
didn't think it'd have broke your heart.

Boy, it'd be great to get together again,
just the three of us.

- One Iast great adventure.
- Yeah.

How about you, Jack?

- You seen Mike Iately?
- No.

Been a Iong time.

Long time.

Good morning,
Iadies and gentlemen.

We'd Iike to thank you for flying
FIy-by-Night

and welcome you
to beautiful Dinoto,

where the temperature
is a balmy 83 degrees.

PIease extinguish all
smoking materials

and bring your seatbacks and
tray tables to their full upright position

for Ianding.

Something tells me this isn't
the only airport in town.

Customs can be such a bother,
old boy.

Here we go, hold on.

You know, I feel good about this.
I didn't wanna say anything Iast night,

but I had my doubts
you'd even come.

However, you're here, the sun's up,

it's a new day,
and all's well on God's green earth.

Yes, indeed. We'II be in and out
in no time with my botanists.

Does anyone know
you went for help?

Are you kidding? I slipped
out of here Iike a thief in the night.

No way anybody knows I was gone.

You sure?
Positive.

Capit�n, capit�n, I hear it.

Looks Iike you've been missed.

You wanna tell me what's going on?

Oh, my mistake. Private airstrip.

- Jack, why are the police here?
- I could have sworn I told you.

Those are the guys
we have to save the botanists from.

The police?!

Aw, take it easy, Mac. I got a plan.

Jack, wouldn't you say
we're running out of runway?

You worry too much, Mac.

Sometimes you don't worry enough!

Come on, faster!

Let's get them!

Hang on, Mac,
I'm bringing her around.

What was that?

Tricks of me trade, Mac, me boyo.
Tricks of me trade.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna
give them a burst of fresh air.

They're gaining on us.

Hang on. We're turning again.

Whoa!

Beautiful! Mac, I gotta tell
you, it brought tears to my eyes.

Beautiful. Now, tell me you're not
having just a Iittle bit of fun.

Oh, crack shooting, Antunnez.

You got a bunch of real sharpshooters
on your force.

Perhaps you'd Iike to test
my marksmanship?

That's not just my money
winging its way out of here.

No, you and I
are Iike a team, amigo.

- I Iose, you Iose.
- He will not Ieave without the girl.

We will get your plants.

And then we will kill Jack Dalton.

Jack, why are we going down?

There's nothing but jungle
around here.

I'm gonna put her down right there.

There? Where's
"there"? I don't see a Ianding strip.

Neither do I, it's a cow pasture.

But sometimes sacrifices
have to be made. Hold on.

Hold on, now. Little bump coming.

There we go,
another nifty Ianding, Jack, my boy.

Smooth as a baby's bottom.
Pure as the driven snow.

Jack, would you mind
telling me exactly what's going on?

Exactly what's going on
is a Iittle difficult.

But I'II give you a fair approximation.

I've got a place near here,
a Iittle hideout of sorts.

I Iike to think of it
as my summer home.

Your summer home.
Get much company?

You're the first.

- They hit our fuel tank.
- Not to worry.

Someone has to.

Great job. Put it on my bill. I'II pay
you Iater. Let's get out of here now.

This place always kind of reminds me
of a roach motel for airplanes.

- They fly in, but they don't fly out.
- Sort of Iike us.

So tell me, who's the happy cop
with the gun?

Antunnez.

- Jack, what's the deal?
- Take a Iook.

Orchids?

Phragmipedium besseae, actually.

Now, Jack, I could be wrong,

but Antunnez does not strike me
as a flower Iover.

Wanna Ievel with me?

I'm kind of tired of being jerked around
Iike a big dog on a short Ieash.

Let it never be said of Jack Dalton
that he was unkind to animals.

Heroin?

You're smuggling heroin?
Of all the stupid, idiotic things, Jack-

I know! It's not my stuff!
Mac, jeez.

For enough grease, Antunnez will Iook
the other way. He did for me,

and he did for the guy whose
heroin this is. Name is Sonny.

- How'd you end up with it?
- He stashed it in my plants.

Antunnez told him I'd fly it back
to the States.

When I found out about it,
I told them to take a hike.

That's when they grabbed Mi-

- My botanist.
- Botanist?

I thought there was more than one.

Botanists. Botanist. Yeah,
I can see how that could be confusing.

Anyway, they thought they could
force my hand.

So you took their drugs, ran to me,
thinking I'd bail you out.

You're the only real friend I got.

So why didn't you just tell me
the whole story?

Right, sure. Drugs, blackmail, corrupt
police. Sounds Iike a bad TV show.

- Wanna know how it ends?
- They all Iive happily ever after?

With me walking out that door
and going for help.

Oh, Mac, come on. Mac.
Mac. Mac, come on.

What about Mike? She'II be dead by
the time you get the help we need.

Mike?

Mike Forrester?

The Mike in those pictures?
Our Mike?

I could have sworn I told you,
Mike's my botanist.

I told you, I'm a botanist.
I don't know where your stuff is.

Okay, come on, babe.

This is getting real old, real fast.
We want our scag.

Okay, okay.

Look, I understand, you might not
wanna deal with this dude here.

But me, hey, I'm an American.
Just the same as you.

You're nothing Iike me.

What kind of an American
would buy off a cop?

And Iet him kick monks out of
their own monastery, all for money?

A guy's gotta have some fun.

I've already told you,

I don't know where your drugs are.
And I don't know where Jack is.

I believe her, Sonny.

Finally.

- But she has outlived her usefulness.
- Whoa.

It ain't a total wipeout.

A pretty babe Iike her.
I'II bet she's good for something.

Yes, perhaps you're right.

My mother taught me
never to strike a Iady.

I never Iistened to my mother.

You told me you hadn't seen her
in years.

I don't get you. Why all these Iies?

AII you had to do was say that Mike
was in trouble. I'd have come here.

You'd have been mad
and Ieft me in L.A.

You don't think I'm mad now?!

But, Mac, we're here together.
You and me. We're gonna save Mike.

You know, I wonder if you're even
dying, or was that a Iie too?

Sorry.

AII right, where are they
keeping her?

I'm not sure. But don't worry.
I got a plan.

I'II bet.

That's EIena over there.
She runs the place.

Which one?
In the red, apron, doorway.

She hears all, sees more
and tells Iittle.

Except to moi.
She's a very good friend.

She just might know
where he's keeping her.

And we've gotta get past
those guys first.

Come on.

Antunnez is inside.

- He's Iooking for you.
- Don't I know it.

We gotta find Mike.
Do you know where he's keeping her?

I don't know, but I might know
somebody who does.

Dalton!

- What?
- Look, Iet's split up.

- No use both of us getting caught.
- Both of us?

Don't worry. I've got a plan.

Yoo-hoo.

Some plan, Jack.

So Jack wanted to get caught?
What kind of plan is that?

A dumb one.

He probably figured
he'd be thrown in with Mike.

Probably also figured
I'd go after him too.

Did he also figure
you would save them both?

Jack operates a Iot on faith.

Any idea why Antunnez threw him
in the monastery instead of his jail?

Privacy.

The colonel doesn't Iike to mix
business with pleasure.

Anybody else ever get in?

Except once. A few weeks ago,
the monks had a funeral.

That's where their mausoleum is.

I'm sorry I can't help you more.

Oh, don't worry. I have a plan.

I can't believe I just said that.

I do and do and do for you guys,
and this is the thanks I get?

Oh, go ahead. Crack wise, sport.

You got one day to tell me where
my stuff is, or you're both vapour.

Jack, are you all right?

I haven't felt this good
in a Iong time. I feel alive.

You Iook terrible.

Oh, right, well,
thanks for the cheer-up, ducky.

Why don't you just tell them
where the heroin is?

Because it's wrong.

And it's the only reason
we're still alive.

Don't worry.
We're getting out of here.

- It'II take a miracle.
- We got it.

- MacGyver.
- Here?

You bet. AII I had to say was, "Mike's
in trouble," and, bingo, there he was.

- Mac.
- Yeah, all we gotta do is sit tight.

Mac'II get us out.
Does this Iook bad?

Bad.

Yo, gentlemen.
Eyes front and centre.

I must say, I'm surprised
to see you all here.

I was not aware
of any recent deaths.

But how rude of me. Where there is
a coffin, there must surely be a body.

Put the coffin down here.

I have interfered enough with this poor
soul's journey to his final resting place.

Perhaps I can ensure
the dearly departed

of a speedy arrival
at his final destination.

Now...

...you may bury your dead.

Hey, what are you doing here?

I'd never been one
to give much thought to what I wore,

but a guy could get attached
to this outfit after a while.

Multipurpose clerical wear.
Something useful for every occasion.

Especially for staying out of trouble.

Oh, I got it! "Breast-fed babies
are the best-fed babies."

- No.
- No? Damn.

Then I'd Iike to buy
another vowel, Pat.

Hi, kids.
- Mac!

- I can't believe you're here.
- That makes two of us. Hi, baby.

Why is it every time
you wish you had your camera,

you remember you Ieft it in another
country? Whenever you're ready.

Hey, what's the deal?
You wear pants under those, or what?

No pants?

I think we ought to hightail it
out of here, Padre.

- Look.
- What?

- The truck.
- What?

- The truck.
- The truck. Let's go.

I'm gonna need something
to carry a current.

- Here.
- Oh, you guys are good together.

I've put a Iot of effort into this,
Antunnez.

But it's all a waste of time
if Dalton doesn't talk.

Ah, but he will talk, or watch the girl
die a most unpleasant death.

You guys still need me.

Move it, come on!

Tu, my man, it Iooks Iike it's time
for another funeral. Yours.

Don't worry. There's only one way
for them to Ieave this country:

Their plane.

And I have it covered.

I'd say we hoof it from here.

Jack?

What? What? Can't a guy show
a Iittle appreciation for his freedom?

Help me up, would you?

- You all right?
- I'm okay.

- You sure?
- I'm sure.

So much for a clean getaway.

Well, it's just as well it
worked out this way, I suppose.

- That plane wasn't going anywhere.
- Say what?

Remember, we got hit when
we came in? Lost all that fuel?

Well, I checked the gauges.

Way I figure it, we take off in that
plane, one of two things can happen.

One, we can fly about five miles
and crash into the mountains.

Or two, we can fly about five miles
and crash into the ocean.

Nice to have options.

Oh, you know, Mac,
some days are Iike that.

- Oh, is this great, or what?
- What?

Us. Together again.
Just Iike the Monkees.

Ah, the good old days. Remember?

Forgive me for being a wet blanket,
but I'd feel a whole Iot better

if we could take this reunion tour
on the road.

Mike, Mike.

Don't worry. I've got-

- "I have a plan."
- "I have a plan."

- Do I say that a Iot?
- Yeah.

Well, I got a plan too. Come on.

We need the plane,
and we need time to fix it.

We need to get Antunnez's men
away from it.

Yeah, that's where you come in, son.

Give us half an hour, and then bring
Antunnez and Sonny to your junkyard.

And then?

We'II have a Iittle surprise
made up for them.

What'II I use for bait?

Tell Antunnez we'II trade his drugs
for your plane.

Jack's plane's worthless right now.

You know that, I know that,
Jack knows that.

- I Iike your style.
- Yeah.

- See you Iater.
- Let's go.

Is that the heroin?

Good, just put it down right there.

Hope Jack doesn't object.

I dug into his private stock
of cheap wine.

I don't know, Mac.

I usually use a white wine
to charge my dead batteries.

Actually, vinegar works better.

But there's enough acid in this stuff
to act as a catalyst,

so I think Jack's wine
comes close enough. Come on.

Besides, we only need charge enough
to turn this prop a couple of times.

- That's great. Like a better mousetrap.
- Yeah.

Now what?

Now all we have to do is
camouflage the tarpaulin,

check the starter here
back to the wine battery

and cover up the rope with vines.

We need stuff Iike this.

What's this for?

It's good to see you again, Mike.

How do you guys do it? Pummel me
all night, shoot at me in the morning,

steal my plane in the afternoon
and still not a hair out of place.

You feel Iike praying a Iittle?

Take it easy on me, man. You never
gonna see your drugs no more, man.

I don't think that would be
a very wise idea.

No more games, Dalton.

No more games?

Then how about a proposition?

AII right, here we go.

It's a nice place.
You and the rest of the garbage.

I see you have finally decided
to be civil.

How very wise of you.

Enough small talk.
Where's our smack?

It's by the plane.
Let me get it for you.

Not without company.

Let's all go.

Okay.

Hold it.
Antunnez!

That's enough.

Antunnez, help.
Get me down from here now!

Antunnez. Antunnez!

The heroin.

Well, it's not quite that easy.

You'd Ieave an awful Iot
of Ioose ends.

You are drug smugglers.
I am the Iaw.

And you will not be alive
to say otherwise.

Now, wait a minute. I got a plan.
You want the smack, right?

Here's what you do. Let them go,
and you and I boogie with the booty.

- Jack, what are you doing?
I'II ask the questions.

And what do I need you for,
Mr. Dalton?

Because Iike it or not,
if they find our bodies down here,

our government's going to
make sure your government

makes it very hard on you.

Americans are funny that way.
They take care of their own, Iike family.

That'II make it very difficult for you to
move that smack, even if you have it.

- That's where I come in.
- Where you come in?

I've got a plane.

I can fly.

You can't.

You'd be so rich.

Tax-free American dollars. Power.

And all you gotta do is Iet them Iive.
What's that to you?

Touch them, you go nowhere.

- Jack, this is crazy, I can't Iet-
- Mac.

I got you two into this.
The Ieast I can do is get you out of it.

What do you say, colonel?
Best deal in town.

We have an agreement, Mr. Dalton.

You two, over there.

Tie them up, and Iet's go.

Jack, what the heck are you doing?

The minute you take off in that plane,
you're a dead man.

I meant what I said
about family, Mac.

You and Mike are family to me.

You really are dying, aren't you?

We're all dying, Mac.

Some of us are just doing it
a Iittle faster than others, that's all.

Jack...

...is that true?

Dalton.

Take care of each other, will you?

- The drugs.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dalton.

Come on, Mike, hurry.

There's no way I'm gonna
Iet him go through with this.

Don't drop it.

Go.

It's been said the best gift a man
could ever give another was his life.

Jack Dalton was never one
to settle for less than the best.

Thank you, Jack.

I don't know what Iine Jack used
to bring you down to Dinoto,

but I'm sure glad it worked.

Actually, it was the truth
that clinched it.

You knew Jack was dying.

Yeah.

I wonder why he never told me.

Well, you know Jack.
No time for sympathy.

Yeah, too busy Iiving Iife.

Searching for that
greatest adventure.

Having a Iot of fun with his friends.

Yeah, all right, thanks.
Keep me posted, will you?

The Columbian navy picked up
Antunnez.

He washed ashore,
still holding on to his dope.

At Ieast that should guarantee
a conviction.

Well, Antunnez claims he bailed out
when he saw both engines smoking.

Says the plane was going down.

He hit the water, went under,

and when he came up, there was
no sign of the plane. Or Jack.

Both engines smoking.

Tricks of me trade, me boyo.
Tricks of me trade.

What?

You don't suppose he had a plan?

But Jack said he only had
enough fuel for five miles.

Yeah. And when was the Iast time

Jack didn't stretch the truth
just a Iittle?