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1
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:09,720
Twenty years back,
2
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,360
Vetinari brought
the ancient guilds
3
00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:13,200
out of the shadows
and legalised them.
4
00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:15,360
You want to steal,
join the Thieves' Guild.
5
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,360
Need somebody killed,
go to the Assassins' Guild.
6
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,280
The Watch hasn't fought
real crime for years.
7
00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:23,320
Arrest me.
8
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:24,440
We need a plan.
9
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:25,480
You're a terrorist.
10
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:26,600
I suppose I am.
11
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:27,960
Carcer?
12
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,480
Twenty years ago, did he die?
13
00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:30,800
Sadly not.
14
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:32,080
But I watched him fall.
15
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,760
I'm with a new gang now.
16
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,680
Silent partners.
17
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,080
They just ask that
we burn it down.
18
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:40,080
This is now a crime scene,
Captain.
19
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:42,320
We don't know what it is.
20
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,760
Find it before Carcer does.
21
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,280
Lady Ramkin wants to help.
22
00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:47,880
I thought I'd check her records.
23
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:49,080
I think you should read this.
24
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:52,760
What happened to you?
25
00:00:54,000 --> 00:01:00,074
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26
00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:46,640
Miss...
27
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:48,920
What are you running from?
28
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,920
Are you ready?
29
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:24,160
You wanted to watch the Watch.
30
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:26,640
Mixed a surveillance spell.
31
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,280
I'm ready.
32
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,600
You haven't
answered any of my questions.
33
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:41,200
These silent partners of yours?
34
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,120
Tell me about the spell.
35
00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:53,560
You'll see and hear whatever
Vimes sees and hears.
36
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,400
Will he know I'm watching him?
37
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,000
We connect your minds
through a shared memory.
38
00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,200
Choose one that's meaningful.
39
00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:01,600
Strong.
40
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,480
Got just the thing.
41
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,680
♪ How do they rise
42
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,040
♪ How do they rise
43
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:51,040
♪ All of the angels
How do they rise ♪
44
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:56,920
What were you singing?
45
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:00,280
How long have you
been standing there?
46
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,520
I can't settle my boy.
47
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,640
Cheery wants to
learn about dragons.
48
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,696
- He can borrow this one.
- I can't have that in here.
49
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,720
He'll need 18 pounds of
dead snakes and mice a day
50
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,640
or he'll torch this entire
place with you in it.
51
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:21,280
My report.
52
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,360
Twenty years ago,
the officer who wrote this report
53
00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,080
was coming home
after a long watch.
54
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:40,480
A teenage girl ran
straight up to him.
55
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,120
Both her parents had
just been murdered.
56
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,920
He should have been the one
person to make sense of it all.
57
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:51,560
It's all right, Miss.
58
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:53,600
It's not a murder at all.
59
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,680
But he found a receipt
60
00:04:56,720 --> 00:04:58,480
from the Assassin's
Guild on their bodies.
61
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:02,160
And calmly informed her
62
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:04,560
that it was all...
63
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:06,640
a perfectly legal...
64
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,320
Legal
65
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,560
- inhumation. - ...inhumation.
66
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,280
And there was
nothing he could do.
67
00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:16,280
Listen to me. Assassins
don't leave witnesses.
68
00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,800
You didn't see anything. Say it.
69
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:21,121
- I didn't see anything.
- "I didn't see anything".
70
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,000
I get why you
don't want to join.
71
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:29,560
Oh, no.
72
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,120
I will join you, Vimes.
73
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:36,640
But I'm never wearing the badge.
74
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,960
"I entrust
Gawain's power to you.
75
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,240
"Place him in Veltrick's
hand and all will be well."
76
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,776
You think Gawain could be what
Carcer needs to control the dragon?
77
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,480
Or what we need to kill it.
78
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,840
What is this Gawain?
79
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,040
Whatever it is,
it's most likely in the hands
80
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,296
of the statue of King Veltrick,
81
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,400
down in the
Assassins' Guild gallery.
82
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:06,840
Does that say "ass guild"?
83
00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:10,480
I was trying to save time.
84
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:14,200
Now these are old,
but I think the gallery is in the basement.
85
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,200
And you worked out a plan
to get us in and out of there.
86
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:19,680
Working on it through the night,
Captain.
87
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,360
Get us into the guild,
down to the gallery
88
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:22,656
and out before they
know what hit them.
89
00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:23,680
Good. How?
90
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:26,560
With tax inspection.
91
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:32,840
The law gives us the right to
inspect their books at any time.
92
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:38,040
Goodboy, manners.
93
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:41,320
Oh, Oh,
no. I thought I'd done them all in.
94
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,840
Is the entrance to the
"ass guild" unprotected?
95
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,840
Yes. Because going in
there would be suicide.
96
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:50,120
Not if you're one of them.
97
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,880
Wearing that and an appropriately
stylish cloak, I can go in,
98
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,960
go down to the basement,
find the gallery,
99
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,360
steal the artefact
and walk straight out.
100
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:02,960
How did you get that?
101
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,056
Lady Ramkin,
we don't know the shape or size Gawain is.
102
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,000
Even if you did get
into the basement
103
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,640
without attracting attention...
104
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,296
If you get caught,
Lord Vetinari will deny all knowledge.
105
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,616
They don't go out
through the front.
106
00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:12,960
They have a door in the basement
107
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,000
that links their building
to the one next to it.
108
00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,096
It can only be opened from their side,
so it's bound to be guarded.
109
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,760
Avoid the guard here...
110
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:20,880
...and you can walk out.
111
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,280
That's my exit.
112
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,696
The Guild's full of
trained assassins.
113
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,336
They've also been
trained to gather around
114
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,360
the inhumation bell
when it tolls at dusk.
115
00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,160
That's when I go in.
116
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,080
When the head of the Guild
hands out the day's contracts.
117
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:34,176
Everywhere but the main
atrium will be virtually empty.
118
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:35,840
You really think you
should be doing this?
119
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:48,240
I gather you've
all read that report.
120
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,360
That snake is still alive,
Cheery, and it bites.
121
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,560
Lady Ramkin.
122
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,120
Lady Ramkin, I didn't tell them.
123
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,160
Hey, Lady Ramkin.
124
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,336
Don't shake it like that.
125
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:02,560
You're just making it angrier.
126
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:08,040
The longer you spend searching the gallery,
the more likely
127
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,520
something will happen to you.
128
00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,000
I'm just saying that with all of us,
risk's lower.
129
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,080
We're professionals.
130
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,320
Well, most of the time.
131
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,720
Just get yourself down the
door and let us in, all right?
132
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,720
- We'll find Gawain in half the time.
- All right.
133
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,200
Understand this.
134
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:32,600
When I ride, I ride hard.
135
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,320
So saddle up your ponies,
136
00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,280
keep kicking or
stay in the stables.
137
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,416
I don't understand
what that meant.
138
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,120
Did anybody
understand any of that?
139
00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:44,960
So we need to get into
the building next door.
140
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,000
Who'd be stupid enough to base themselves
next door to the Assassins' Guild.
141
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,720
I think you'd suit lipstick.
142
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:01,400
I didn't realise that going undercover
meant we'd have to audition.
143
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:03,760
Should have had a drink.
144
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,416
Why don't we just walk
down to the basement?
145
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,680
Try and get backstage
without a VIP pass?
146
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,280
Just remember the three chords
we showed you and you'll be fine.
147
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:11,576
I can't believe they've
never heard this song before.
148
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:12,680
I know.
149
00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,080
Wankers.
150
00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,840
You guys aren't ready for
your alt-jazz vampire-rock fusion bullshit.
151
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:23,440
All right, listen.
152
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,040
One song can change everything.
153
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:29,680
Make people cry the same tears,
even save the world.
154
00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,256
- Hmm.
- So let's get this right.
155
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:32,536
Otherwise we'll get
kicked out the building,
156
00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:34,760
Lady Ramkin will die and
Ankh-Morpork will burn.
157
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,360
Okay?
158
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,120
Let's shred this.
159
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,880
- I didn't see
anything. - "I didn't see anything".
160
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,800
All right. Yeah. So it's
wonderful to be here.
161
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:47,880
Thanks for having us.
162
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,680
Erm, we're the...
163
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,280
We're... We're
called... The what?
164
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,640
We're called The What.
165
00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:03,840
And we're gonna play for you
an old Dwarfish classic now,
166
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,480
that you might be
a little familiar with.
167
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,840
That's right. It's
time for Gold.
168
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:13,760
Gold.
169
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:20,560
Like we practised, yeah?
170
00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:17,400
This magic of yours is amazing.
171
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,600
He's found the artefact?
172
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,160
No, he started a band.
173
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,760
We're digging for gold
174
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:43,720
♪ Digging for precious gold
175
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:10,720
♪ Give you
that gold We'll give you that gold
176
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,600
♪ We'll give you that solid gold
177
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,360
♪ We're digging for gold
178
00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,760
♪ We'll dig down for gold
179
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,360
♪ We'll dig down for gold
180
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:23,400
♪ Digging for precious gold
181
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,800
- Nice mask.
- Thanks. I like yours too.
182
00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:49,000
- You do? - Bloody love it.
183
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,280
The pattern's very striking,
isn't it?
184
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,240
Not so much Assassins' Guild,
but Sassy Guild.
185
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,720
I don't know, girl. I was thinking
maybe it's a little too much.
186
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,800
- Oh, shut up. - You shut up.
187
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,760
Nil mortifi sine lucre, sugar.
188
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,160
Nil mortifi sine lucre, babe.
189
00:14:10,120 --> 00:14:13,040
Oh, it looks like an old mask.
190
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,200
Alice.
191
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:33,720
Find out who that is.
192
00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:45,320
"Access all areas", dudes.
193
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:48,840
We're now official members
of the Musicians' Guild.
194
00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:51,320
Right. Let's get
down to the basement.
195
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:52,440
Meet Lady Ramkin
196
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,560
- and find Gawain.
- ...find Gawain.
197
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,616
Should have been
doing magic your whole life.
198
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,360
Password.
199
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,800
Did you say something,
little girl?
200
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:28,200
Password, big girl.
201
00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:29,960
We have no need for them here.
202
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,080
Your voice is weird.
203
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,280
My voice gets a
lot of compliments.
204
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,160
You're not really one of us,
are you?
205
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,240
Haven't seen you here before.
206
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,280
I haven't seen you here before.
207
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,160
Why don't you go back
to turning cart wheels
208
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,040
while us big girls
do all the work?
209
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:50,080
I hide in laundry
chutes and cupboards
210
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,600
and watch rich people
in their hotel suites.
211
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,120
I watch them eat. I
watch them sleep.
212
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,080
And I climb out
and I strangle them.
213
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,120
I remember what it's
like to be your age.
214
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,000
And sometimes you see
things you shouldn't see.
215
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,320
Bad things.
216
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,496
And you start to think they're normal,
but they're not.
217
00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:12,640
And then when you grow up,
you will realise that...
218
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,040
I'm wasting my time here,
aren't I?
219
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,520
The door's through here.
220
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,960
Why exactly would
the Assassins' Guild
221
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,480
have a door into
the Musicians' Guild?
222
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,760
Maybe it's something
to do with all this.
223
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:38,720
The inhumation
bell will start any second.
224
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,256
I've calculated that
when the bell stops,
225
00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,360
we've got a 20 minute
window to get in and out.
226
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,240
It sounds more like a
door crack than a window.
227
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,720
Oops.
228
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,560
- I - didn't see anything.
229
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,120
Twenty minutes, Captain.
230
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,200
Something's wrong.
231
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,160
Nil mortifi sine lucre.
232
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:24,400
Nil mortifi sine lucre.
233
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:27,360
Where's Alice?
234
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:30,480
No?
235
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:46,440
Barton Wallace,
administrator of the Grand Trunk Company.
236
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,760
Client says he'll be
alone in his office tonight.
237
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,160
But for this kind of money,
238
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,480
I think we can safely
say that won't be the case.
239
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,200
- Laugh. -
240
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:11,840
You're new, aren't you?
241
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,400
- Name? - Steph.
242
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,360
- Guild name? - Bad Steph.
243
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:25,720
Bad Steph.
244
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,280
You just took your name and
bolted the word "Bad" onto it.
245
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,000
We've gotta get through.
246
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,360
The door is solid stygium.
247
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,760
The Watch might
not be able to get through,
248
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,200
but in here,
we're not just the Watch.
249
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,440
We're undercover
250
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:48,600
As The What?
251
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,360
- What? - That felt good.
252
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,816
Sometimes you just gotta get
that finger and stick it to the man.
253
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,160
What man?
254
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:07,880
What finger?
255
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:08,880
Fifteen minutes, Captain.
256
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:10,760
We have to find Gawain fast.
257
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:11,760
Lady Ramkin first.
258
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,520
She could be anywhere.
259
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,536
I'll find her. Her perfume
is infused with asafoetida.
260
00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:16,680
And juniper.
261
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,280
I think.
262
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,320
Over to you, Angua.
263
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:28,656
You don't have to confirm that.
264
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,120
I can see the sort of assassin
that you are by your shoes.
265
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:37,880
Where did you get them? No,
don't actually answer.
266
00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:40,960
Don't tell me...
267
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:44,920
Excuse me.
268
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:47,600
Are you gonna pull that trigger?
269
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,080
Sorry, are you?
270
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:55,520
Oh, um...
271
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,000
I hadn't decided.
272
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:02,160
- Ah, typical. - Are you...
273
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,320
I'm not signing
autographs today.
274
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:06,800
Have you come
to collect his soul?
275
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,640
I don't usually do this,
276
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,720
but you were about
to pull the trigger,
277
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,560
- and then you...
- Weren't sure.
278
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:18,360
Mmm. I know that revenge
is a complicated business,
279
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,000
but I'm on something
of a tight schedule today.
280
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,000
I don't want to go
somewhere else.
281
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,320
And then have to race back here.
282
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:27,400
Did you collect
my mother's soul?
283
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,120
My father's?
284
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,440
- I don't want to rush you.
- Did you?
285
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:36,320
- If you could just make a decision...
- Answer me.
286
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:40,320
Why doesn't anyone ever
think of me? Do I matter?
287
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:43,120
I'll answer that. I do
matter. I matter a lot.
288
00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:46,840
Please... Please answer me.
289
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,800
I am one of the only two
certainties in the multiverse.
290
00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:02,400
What did they say
when they saw you?
291
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:05,760
Were they afraid?
292
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:08,960
Oh, we're gonna be here all day,
aren't we?
293
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,680
That bastard
is never going to face
294
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,680
any kind of justice
in this world.
295
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:16,720
Or the next.
296
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:22,440
- What's the other certainty?
- Taxes.
297
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,400
Get a better name. The Slash.
298
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,040
Show Bad Steph here how it's done,
will you?
299
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:44,200
Now let's see who else is
about to have the worst...
300
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,280
I mean, last day of their lives.
301
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,120
- Laugh. -
302
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,000
Now I'll show you how it's done,
Dr Cruces.
303
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,360
Talking to Bad Steph like that.
304
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,360
We've had enough of you
treating us like children.
305
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:20,456
And I've had enough
of talking to myself.
306
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:21,760
Why aren't you
with your friends?
307
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:54,480
Who're you?
308
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,480
You're just so...
309
00:24:58,640 --> 00:24:59,760
accountant-y.
310
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,160
I've got 210
inhumations to my name
311
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,440
across a 22 year,
six month and four day kill streak.
312
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,360
Does that sound remotely
accountant-y to you?
313
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:12,800
Yes.
314
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,040
- What's your name?
- The Duke of Stab.
315
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,000
- Your real name.
- The anonymity between
316
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,576
assassin and client
has been enshrined...
317
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:19,640
Inigo Skimmer.
318
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:21,400
Ramkin Mansion.
319
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:23,680
Twenty summers ago.
320
00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,000
You don't even remember. Do you?
321
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,000
Remember what?
322
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:39,680
Someone's been
working off the books?
323
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,280
Death and taxes.
324
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,280
Now we come to
any other business.
325
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:50,200
Firstly,
I'd like to congratulate Karen from Finance
326
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:52,120
for her record kill
streak this month.
327
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:53,600
Let's hear it for
Karen from Finance.
328
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,040
Well done.
329
00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,240
Who knew paper
cuts could be so lethal.
330
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:02,320
Now, Sex Party Ben.
331
00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:03,600
It's come to my attention
332
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,120
that your recent
inhumation of a Anna Manger
333
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,720
at that orgy was in fact,
a serious breach of our code.
334
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,216
She was a member of
the Launderers' Guild.
335
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:14,840
A small oversight.
336
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:16,080
But we all know it's illegal
337
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:18,240
for one guild member
to attack another.
338
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,800
You have forfeited
your right to anonymity.
339
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,720
Also, your right to life.
340
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:30,720
We'll pop today's
date on it for you.
341
00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:38,800
Karen from Finance,
you cold bitch.
342
00:26:41,120 --> 00:26:42,120
Lady Ramkin.
343
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,800
What do you think you're doing?
344
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:47,976
We're supposed to be finding...
345
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,880
This man inhumed my parents.
346
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,120
I was there, Vimes.
347
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:56,800
I have never left a witness.
348
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,160
That's how you got the mask.
349
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,976
- I want you to arrest him.
- That can't happen.
350
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:03,560
He has an address and a
bag filled with cold, hard cash
351
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,240
in old currency. He's
working off the books.
352
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,280
All income must be declared.
353
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,520
Carrot said the watch
has tax inspection powers.
354
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,600
You're the Watch? You
look like a really shit band.
355
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,040
We're undercover.
356
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:16,720
And tax evasion is
an arrestable offence
357
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:18,280
under the Criminal Finances Act.
358
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,800
Minimum sentence, three years,
confiscation of livestock.
359
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,160
I don't have livestock.
360
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:23,760
Yeah, but if you did.
361
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,000
Nine minutes, Captain.
362
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:27,040
We're not arresting anybody.
363
00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:29,120
Hmm.
364
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,240
But you're gonna help us
find what we're looking for.
365
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,040
- Where are they? - A gallery.
366
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:42,760
How long, Cheery?
367
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:44,920
Seven minutes, Sir.
368
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,080
Hurry up, would you?
369
00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:54,200
This is what you're looking for?
370
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:58,120
King Veltrick I, founder of the
very first Watch if I'm not mistaken.
371
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,520
You didn't know that.
372
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:03,880
Apparently he thought we'd
benefit from having real police.
373
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,280
Bless him.
374
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,880
He was inhumed four days
after he'd forged the first badge.
375
00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:14,600
His hands. They're
empty. It's not here.
376
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:16,200
- What was he holding?
- Gawain.
377
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:18,680
A sword.
378
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:20,720
Gawain is a sword.
379
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,000
And Carcer beat us to it.
380
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:25,040
- The sword was stolen years ago.
- By who?
381
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:26,520
What is this? An interview?
382
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:30,040
- Answer the question.
- Question? Am I a suspect?
383
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,240
So sweet. You think you're
very professional, don't you?
384
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:37,400
You know,
I think I am going to arrest you.
385
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,160
- Arrest me?
- Arrest me.
386
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:43,400
You can't arrest anybody.
387
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,320
- What's this guy's name?
- Inigo Skimmer.
388
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:49,760
Inigo Skimmer, I'm arresting
you on suspicion of tax evasion
389
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,000
under the, uh...
390
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:56,760
You really can't arrest anybody.
391
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,480
The Criminal Finances Act, Sir.
392
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:00,520
Criminal Finances Act.
393
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:02,600
You're coming with us.
394
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:03,640
Come on, arrest me!
395
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:07,960
What are you waiting for?
396
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,200
Arrest me.
397
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:12,840
That sounded like Carcer.
398
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:14,560
Your temples are glowing, Sir.
399
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:15,520
What's happening, Wonse?
400
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:16,800
That is Carcer.
401
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,640
He must be drawing on
the same memory using...
402
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,320
Some kind of magical wiretap.
403
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:26,080
Can he see back into my mind?
404
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,320
He's watching though my memory.
405
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,320
Can you watch him back, Captain?
406
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:33,856
I can see back into his mind.
407
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:34,960
Captain, can you find him?
408
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,176
Cut it off.
409
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,120
I love you.
410
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:44,200
Can you find him?
411
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:45,280
Cut it off.
412
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:54,840
Cut it off.
413
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:03,680
You see where he is, Captain?
414
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:06,680
No, no, no. He's gone.
415
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,200
I just saw, uh...
416
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:14,520
I don't know what I saw.
417
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,800
- - Captain.
418
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,120
Time's up.
419
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:22,440
You're all going to die.
420
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:38,080
You were attacked by musicians?
421
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:40,360
This is unbelievable.
422
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,280
No way back. No
way out the front.
423
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:44,800
You came in through there?
424
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:49,160
That's Dr Cruces' private room.
425
00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:50,440
♪ You make me paranoid
426
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,040
♪ Paranoid
427
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,400
You must know another way out.
428
00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:58,280
I...
429
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:00,920
What could he have seen?
430
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:03,000
I don't know.
431
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:08,840
Thoughts, memories,
impulses, feelings maybe.
432
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:11,520
What don't you want him to see?
433
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:13,160
Doesn't matter.
434
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,880
He never would have
made it out of there alive.
435
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:18,640
- Yeah. - Well done, Wonse.
436
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:19,896
We know what we
need to find now.
437
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,840
Yes. The sword.
438
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,120
Must have been stolen by one of their own,
right?
439
00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:29,200
Assassins have a
strict disciplinary code.
440
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:35,920
I know where
we'll find the thief.
441
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,360
Skimmer is the only
one not accounted for.
442
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,200
It's the woman
with the weird voice.
443
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:47,840
I know it.
444
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:53,760
Accountant-y little shit.
445
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:00,560
Let's go.
446
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,320
This is where the
assassins bury their dead.
447
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,560
On this side,
448
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,360
they're buried with honour
449
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,520
and the anonymity
that protected their life
450
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:50,040
from revenge or reprisals.
451
00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:52,560
But anyone who
breaches their code
452
00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:55,240
is immediately inhumed,
loses that anonymity
453
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,120
and is buried with
their real name
454
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:58,480
with details of their offence.
455
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,520
That's why so few dare.
456
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,360
Our thief
should be easy to find then.
457
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:04,520
Yeah.
458
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,040
Do you even have
a cell to put me in?
459
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:14,736
We have a very
well-equipped basement.
460
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,056
He's not going in your basement.
461
00:33:16,080 --> 00:33:17,560
We're being followed
by a living doll.
462
00:33:19,160 --> 00:33:20,760
No, it's just a kid.
463
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:22,360
You all right,
little one? Are you lost?
464
00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:25,160
Whoa!
465
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,840
I mean we do some
rock and roll shit.
466
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:30,200
- Yeah? - Don't get me wrong.
467
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:31,840
But kicking a kid in the face?
468
00:33:31,880 --> 00:33:33,440
Shame on you, Lady Ramkin.
469
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:34,480
Hello, little one.
470
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,720
Lady Ramkin was right,
we should have kicked her in the face.
471
00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:14,840
Here.
472
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:20,200
Inhumed for death
and absconsion.
473
00:34:20,240 --> 00:34:22,360
Jocasta Wiggs, her real name.
474
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,280
No death date. They
never caught her.
475
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,200
She's still alive.
476
00:34:27,240 --> 00:34:29,800
If she survived the assassins
all this time, she'll be dangerous.
477
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,120
- You'll need...
- She'll be old.
478
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:34,520
We find her, we find the sword.
479
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:36,520
Carcer...
480
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,840
When are you gonna
tell me who this is all for?
481
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:43,120
When everyone's dead.
482
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,040
- Taxes? - Taxes.
483
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,040
Our first arrest.
484
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,360
We didn't go in there for this.
485
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,120
At least we know
what this is now.
486
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:15,800
But Carcer knows there's a sword too,
and he'll be looking for it.
487
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:18,040
Maybe Skimmer can tell
us more. Help us find him.
488
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,840
I'm very happy
to interrogate him.
489
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,840
- Interview, you mean?
- Yes, of course. That too.
490
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:34,160
"We're outside."
491
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:41,400
"You should come out too.
492
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,400
"Sorry. Should have
made that clear on the first."
493
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:51,320
"Unless you'd rather
we did this in there.
494
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:52,840
"Just thinking of the mess."
495
00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:11,280
So you're The Watch.
496
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:19,200
Sorry.
497
00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:20,720
We were meant to be undercover.
498
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,160
What were you
doing in our building?
499
00:36:23,720 --> 00:36:25,960
Tax inspection.
500
00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:27,656
We'd gotten word that
a member of your guild
501
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:29,720
called Inigo Skimmer has
been working off the books.
502
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:32,120
Undeclared income
is a serious...
503
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:35,080
You think he'd declare the money
he was given to kill his own boss?
504
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:38,640
Only the Thieves'
Guild would be so cheap
505
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:41,520
as to pay in a dead currency
like Morporkian dollars.
506
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:43,616
They've had a contract out
on me ever since I accused that
507
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:46,280
little prick Urdo of being a virgin.
508
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:47,600
Urdo,
head of the Thieves' Guild?
509
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,320
And he absolutely is a virgin.
510
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:54,320
Also,
he knows that it is illegal
511
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,000
for one guild's members
to attack another's.
512
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,600
So in a way, I should thank you.
513
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:00,880
You've given me all I need
514
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,640
to have him banished
from the council.
515
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:05,080
And then we'll have no
one between us and Vetinari.
516
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:06,120
Now, where was I?
517
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:08,200
Oh, yes.
518
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,520
It's illegal for one guild's
member to attack another's?
519
00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:17,040
We're in the Musicians' Guild. Come on,
licences, quick.
520
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,360
And you?
521
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:32,960
Why don't you go back
to hiding in that cupboard?
522
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:36,440
Our guild rules state we can audition
affiliate members anytime, anywhere.
523
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:37,720
She doesn't have an instrument.
524
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:45,840
♪ How do they rise
525
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:51,000
♪ How do they rise
526
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:57,280
♪ All of those angels
527
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:02,200
♪ How do they rise
528
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:08,200
♪ They lift their heads up
529
00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:13,760
♪ They lift their heads up
530
00:38:16,640 --> 00:38:19,560
♪ They rise up
531
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:25,120
♪ They rise up
532
00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:34,280
Oh.
533
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:36,600
Seems you're far better
musicians than police officers.
534
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:38,640
I'll see you soon...
535
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:40,080
Captain.
536
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,320
Remember what
I told you about the finger?
537
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:53,040
This finger?
538
00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:03,320
I heard you singing
it in your sleep.
539
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:06,560
I liked it.
540
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:18,680
She liked it.
541
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,760
If you let The Watch arrest
everyone who evades tax...
542
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:30,160
The city will be in a far
better position to defend itself.
543
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,440
There is a dragon at
large and keeping it at bay
544
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:34,880
will be very expensive.
545
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,880
Not to mention the cost
546
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,480
of the clean-up
operations after its attack.
547
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,640
Strange times.
548
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,560
One extinct species
returning to stalk the sky...
549
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:47,720
You'll be glad to hear
I've raised the bounty.
550
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,640
...and another,
suddenly waking up
551
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,800
to responsibilities it's
never taken seriously before.
552
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,736
I look forward to hearing what sanctions
you'll take against the Thieves' Guild
553
00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,120
for their outrageous
transgression.
554
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:00,920
My Lord.
555
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:10,360
Vimes...
556
00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:13,880
as of this moment,
557
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:18,800
you will officially cease to
pursue any further enquiries.
558
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,000
Sir, um...
559
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:25,160
Carcer is going to keep
looking for the sword
560
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:26,760
and that dragon's
gonna keep on feeding.
561
00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:28,280
Undoubtedly.
562
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:30,320
But if the Assassins' Guild
563
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:33,200
were to learn there's a
means of controlling it...
564
00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:34,720
They'd want to keep
it for themselves.
565
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:38,200
"Officially" cease to pursue.
566
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:43,960
Is this one of those situations
where you want me to do
567
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:48,400
the exact opposite of
what you just told me to do?
568
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:50,360
I don't know, Vimes.
569
00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:53,120
Is it?
570
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:05,760
Something wrong with
your hand, Vimes?
571
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:07,760
No, Sir. No. Nothing at all.
572
00:41:12,744 --> 00:41:14,744
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572
00:41:15,305 --> 00:42:15,862
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